#day of the first diary entry
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So I went ahead and actually made a necklace of one of the shadow puppets from Philip's journal. Because I think they are neat.
It turned out to be quite the ordeal, the first glue I tried for this straight up dissolved the ink of one of the pictures I wanted to use 😭
#the owl house#toh#philip wittebane#emperor belos#like I specifically asked for glue to make cabochon necklaces in the store#luckily my father owns many kinds of crafting tools and glues#anyway considering it's may 21st#day of the first diary entry
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Underrated Owl House Glowup
#i know two of them were the same but#the owl house#toh spoilers#watching and dreaming#had to get the tiny Luz in there but I wanted a more colored pic#in honor of first diary entry day i guess?
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Okay girlies but I can't be the only one thinking P and Alice (Madness Returns) would be one hell of a duo??
#a game of 'stab first and ask questions later'#one day i'll write about them#when not too exhausted anymore#which might be never#diary entry
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Today on Reddit I read a discussion about terrible events that happened to someone in real life.
I want to say that little girls in a cemetery at night are not scary, windows that open without human help are not scary, a poltergeist is not scary.
It's scary when your loved one is sick, and you can't help him. The scary thing is calling the hospital in the middle of the night. It's scary not having time to say goodbye. That's what's really scary.
It seems to me that if I see a ghost in my home now, I will wish him a good day. It seems to me that if I see a ghost in my home now, then I will know about the existence of life after death, and this will give me hope.
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lecture doodle #2 Nal again but as a kiddo. get ready for an absolute onslaught of 3/4 view busts facing left in the future fjdjfdk it's literally all I draw when I'm absentmindedly doodling
just wanted to put em next to each other. look at my girl growing up :')
#what if I post one every day w a little diary entry in the tags. not actually asking anyone's opinion it's my blog I post whatever I want#THREE social humiliations in a row today I wanna cry. any one of them alone I could've brushed off but one after another.........#whatever whatever it's fine. brush urself off get up keep moving. it's all quite inconsequential really#anyway. required course mind-numbingly boring as expected. excited for first linguistics class tmrw. NOT excited to wake up at 8am#so much going on all the time and zero privacy so no space to process anything :') just gonna talk into the void here instead lol#narcissus's echoes#narcissus draws#pythasposting#asit#nal dejar#a stitch in time#ds9
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it sounds so obvious now, but im pretty sure my physical problems rn can all be traced back to the fact that my brain and body has been in a constant hypervigilance and cortisol overload for 3 months straight. the dizziness, the blackouts, the acne, the constant nausea, the giant eyebags and sudden crows feet ?? Like yeah, no shit thats what happens when ur every waking hour is the equivalent of that camille preaker crying gif
#i know the fact that i faint every couple of days and go a little blind sometimes should be priority here#but it REALLY pisses me off how much and how quickly this (?) stress is aging me#id still like to look good even if i feel like shit. sorry#the worst thing is that im doing everything in my power to do all the right things#but since i dont actually KNOW why having sex affected me in such a weird way. I cant really take the proper steps to get over it#like.. i can treat the symptoms best i can but as far as the root of it all. i have no idea whats actually wrong or how to fix it#in some senses it seems pretty cut and dry- i cant remember my childhood. i was neglected. i have a bunch of issues#i have sex for the first time. i stop functioning. i go into a depressive episode. i cant sleep.eat.be around people#i feel paralyzed by fear at the most random of times and have to hide in a small space to feel safe again. i cry so much i pop an eye vesse#like CLEARLY something is wrong. and just in an objective sense it sounds like something bad happened a long time ago associated with sex#however ! life is more complicated than that and i think its unhelpful to make assumptions (yes im aware i might also be in denial lol)#i already know i have trauma so its not weird for me to exhibit trauma responses. and maybe that was triggered bc i wasnt ready to have sex#it doesnt have to have a sinister explanation. it might just be as simple as me not vibing with the guy and regretting it later#idk. obviously my reaction to it is violently out of proportion. but i might just be a sensitive person !#does that sound silly or reasonable? reading it back i still kinda wonder if its just the denial speaking but idk!#i really really wish i just knew what was wrong so that i could actually start to move on#i know im bumming u guys out talking about it but i cant exactly talk to my family and im trying to not unload everything onto my friends :#bc as supportive and wonderful as they are i can tell they feel bad and have no idea what to say#which is fair enough bc its a really weird situation! so i dont want to burden them more than what i have to for my own sanity#tw#?#diary entries
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my boss just asked me which of virginia woolf’s works is the most “important” and i sort of just sat there opening and closing my mouth at him because like when you ask that question of the token feminist historian in your employ it really quickly becomes a matter of how do you choose? important for what?
#obviously the answer is mrs dalloway but like. please delineate the parameters of your inquiry first#and that’s like an overall answer. but for her fiction I’d almost rather say To the Lighthouse#and for her criticism/non-fiction it’s obviously A Room of One’s Own#and to me personally most days it’s her diary entry about frock consciousness#so like. define ‘important’#rare pic of me in the wild
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a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take
#my google calendar and Carl bot (and my friends) have been kind enough to inform me today was the estimated posting date of heist au#suffice to say that is not happening#it would have been rad to make a habit out of the co-occurrence of starting a new job and starting to post a finished WIP but alas#that will not be happening for a while longer#I have no idea when will I find the time for writing between two jobs and the big bang but. we'll work something out.#but hey it's good to give your projects breathing space so your brain can do the work in the background and solve the problems for you#I'll probably need to go back and revamp the whole last chapter I've been working on#but I'm still too sick and jet lagged and sick to be thinking about that so I'll consume some more media in the meantime#and complain about how bad the fic I'm listening to is. like god it's supposed to be so romantic and cute and he's literally#depriving her bodily autonomy and her friends support him I want to leave a strongly worded comment so bad#I will not be doing that but god it's so awful I should have stopped listening to this fic long ago. so that's a lesson learned.#put the fucking fic down there's plenty of stuff that's going to be better#hot take I sure no one saw coming sometimes things that are popular are actually bad#anyway have some stream of fucking consciousness /ref to another fic I'm fighting hard to keep discontinued#I know I won't like it why is this so hard#heist au should have been posted today based on maths btw. maths I did wrong for the first time which means it should have been posted#a year ago really#not like I have the proper structure to do a heist au daily#but it would have been fun to post the first chapter on the exact day it takes place. idk just for flavour#does all this make any sense? hardly. this is a diary entry and my two braincells are firing random thoughts at each other#that's fine though. it's all fine. here have some popcorn to go with all this nonsense 🍿🍿🍿 <3#(and also all the drama in the new shadow and bone season. ugh it's so good I love Wesper SO. MUCH. or just Waylan. and Nikolai.#he's my blorbo assigned at first relevant information. relavant information: he's my friend's blorbo#but gods he's so my type it's scary. of course I'll have him as my blorbo. of course of course!#*puts him on a shelf next to Adrien Draco and Hunter*#*steps back to think before putting Waylan there too and sitting Zuko on the far end*#war crimes look so good on them :3#miaing#heist au
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both of the cleaning ladies at work quit i am inconsolable rn
#first O quit last week#miss her so much#and then today V asked me to go see her before i left to say goodbye#im so sad they made this place bearable#i love them i miss them#now for a few days their boss is going to be coming in until they get someone else#she was very rude to me and another girl the other day i do not like her#terrible way to end my day :(#diary entry
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nice writer feeling is being able to read your own stuff from four-ish years ago and finding it's still pretty good. maybe not quite like how you'd write it today but definitely not painful to read
#花話#was rereading diary entries from like 2020-ish last night tho i also read a bit of late 2019#and stumbled across the entry from the time after i published my first ~lime~ lol n so in order to reflect back on my changing character#since then (i.e. currently working on. A ~*Lemon*~) i figured i'd read it#i also published that one anonymously for a while... it's kind of funny bc i expressed the same feelings then as the ones#that eventually contributed to my decision to publish anonymously for gnshn altogether#so like yeah fear of living in the shadow of my own bn/ha days forever; but having skimmed the like late 2019/2020 part of my life again#after the. Ordeal(tm) of my late 2018/early 2019. n stuff. and also the 'who would ever wanna read smth You wrote' thing from The Ordeal(tm)#it's occurring to me that perhaps... my bn/ha days were much more Marked by my late high school life than left Unmarked. if that makes sense#like i knew they were related n all like the resentment n jealousy n whatnot but looking at it now#the first year fresh out of Suffering is always the most fragile i suppose. which isn't smth i noticed then bc i thought i was Over It lol#anyway. learning to love one's own art is hard work but i'm glad to have put in the effort hehe
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— 7 january 2024
behind on posts but that’s okay. today i pretty much just got ready for classes tomorrow. i think it’ll be a good day, but just long for the most part. i have two classes on monday and 1 the rest of the week, except friday, which i have no class on. also, i’m starting my allergy shots this week!
3 things i’m grateful for:
college.
knowledge.
notion.
— love, lisa.
#journal#diary#diary entry#internet diary#internet journal#journal entry#journaling#college#film#college 2024#first day#first day of class#schedule#scheduling#organize#organization#school#learning
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#nightly diary entry here we go boys#my roomie is going to be gone for the next few days so i'm here all alone and its weird#also the neighbors are closing doors and i can hear it#haven't gotten my work schedule for next week yet which is frustratiging as all hell bc how am i supposed to plan ice cream date#if idk what days i'm working#asking the real questions out here on tumblr dot com such as: when the fuck am i working#i feel like i've been telling everyone 'i just need to get my work schedule for next week'#bc i have#and its frustrating like it should have been done today#but whatever i get paid tomorrow so there's that at the very least#work itself was uneventful#just feeling very weird bc i am here alone tm#and it's the first night since we moved in that i'm going to bed without my roommate here#so yeah#uhhhhh anyway i'll be awake for a hot minute just working on fic and reading and shit#existing as a human being#since playing video games earlier did not spark joy like i thought it owuld
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24/11/2024 ˋ°•*⁀➷
Entry one:
Today was honestly not really that eventful😓
I’ve been wanting to dye my hair so me& my mum went and picked up some hair dye! This is kinda the inspo :
After we got the hair dye, we went to this charity shop and I actually found quite a few things!
I got a few DVDS- :
Moulin Rouge (2001)
Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi (1983)
Star Wars: Phantom Menace (1999)
Legally Blonde 1,2&3 (2001,2003&2009)
Breakfast At Tiffany’s (1961)
Abbott&Costello: Meet The Invisible Man, Go To Mars, In The Foreign Legion, Meet The Keystone Kops, Meet The Killer Boris Karloff, Meet Dr.Jekyll & Mr Hyde, Meet Frankenstein and Meet The Mummy. (1951, 1953, 1950, 1955,1949,1953 ,1948 & 1955)
-Which im really happy with and I also got a Winnie the Pooh stationary kit thingy, it looked pretty new. It came in a little briefcase and the startionary inside was all still wrapped.
All together I think everything I got was around £12.50!
Pic of what I got!:
Then we just went home for the rest of the day, it was around 2pm Ish by now so we’d been out for around 2 hours.
I’ve just been home for the rest of the day(now 9:56pm) Hopefully later on I’ll have something more interesting to say 😭
I feel like I don’t really have much more to add to this entry so I’m gonna end it ~(>_<~)
I hope everyone (if anyone) who sees this has a great day/night (¯ ³¯)♡
- Taylor🫶🏻
#journal#digital diary#diary entry#dear diary#charity shop#dvds#thrifting#star wars#breakfast at tiffany's#legally blonde#abbott and costello#moulin rouge#winnie the pooh#stationery#calm day#movies#shopping haul#idk how to tag this#first post#oh well#second post#technically#Spotify
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3:32pm.
just arrived home after my classes. i drove my dad and me back, rather than depending on him to drive me like i usually do. i've undone my braid, and now i'm stilling and chilling in bed in just my underwear.
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Monday, September 09th
first day of school, our whole school got moved to a high school bc of renovation and it's pretty okay-ish but the desks. like tf are these chairs? why tf are chairs connected in pairs? it looks cursed tbh.
anyway, we have a new girl (she's so pretty) and someone's gotta bring her the textbooks we need, we got our schedules, got showed our class, signed that we know the rules of the school, and got told 'wear your uniforms'.
me and one of my best friends hanged out after bc we completely forgot our water and had to walk like 2 bus stops to the nearest store and got some water and soda so now i'm 5 bucks in debt, so that's just great (/s).
#diary#diary entry#online diary#life update#school#high school#first day of school#song of the day#Spotify
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No fucking way trauma dumping in the roblox livestream chat made me triggered NO WAY
#literally my entire life rn revolves around NOT thinking about uncool stuff that makes me triggered#which is why im watching dumb fucking livestreams in the first place (i thought id be more safe there than watching tv lol)#anyway i dont actually agree with trauma dumping as it is widely percived by the internet#but i do think its crazy to talk abt your csa in a roblox dressup livestream PLS#and now i dont know what to do bc watching too much young sheldon at night makes me hear southern accents in my brain 😔🦅🦅#and the roblox livestreams are a no go ... 😔 AND the sims building videos are also not an option bc i already spent the entire day playing#anyway.... i actually am doing better in general tho! no crying or panic attacks for days!#and i havent even started the anxiety meds yet. this is all me baby <3#diary entries
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