#david you absolute menace

[bipolargreen]

Ok but for real…Crowley in that white uniform is the ultimate thirst 🥵🔥

[queeniecamps]

Camp of 2002!

Since we know nothing about the other campers from when David and Jasper were kids, I took it upon myself to give them some pizazz! (With some additional help from @jinjuomo, @cherryanimates, and @chettyspagetti for helping me develop them further from my initial concepts!)

We don’t have any names settled yet, but personality wise-

Horse rider: The only girl at camp (besides counselor Darla), but she’s super cool! She knows a lot of cool moves and tricks to use on the horses at camp, and probably calls everybody Partner. She speaks specifically in western slang, and she’s quite close to Darla, being the only other girl at camp.

Canoeing/“yacht” kid: spoiled and flamboyant rich kid, he’s the youngest kid of the president of the local yacht club. He got grounded for probably wrecking his very own yacht, so he was dumped at camp for the summer as a punishment. He thinks he’s better than everyone else (he’s not), and is very often being knocked down a peg by everyone else.

First aid kid: a fairly cautious kid, he’s often getting injured in one way or another but, luckily, both of his parents are doctors! Wanting to follow in his parents footsteps, he takes on first aid camp to begin his medical journey. If he’s not worried about his own health, it’s everybody else’s.

Archer: very ambitious and very competitive, this kid has decided everything is a competition and needs to win, no matter what. First to breakfast? He’s gotta win. First to swim all the way across lake lilac? It was never a competition to begin with, but he’s gotta win! If he’s not the best at something, he gives up entirely on it to focus on the next major thing. He personally saw Jasper as his arch nemesis, then he saw David when he became the best camper. (Side note: as an adult, one of his siblings got married and had kids before he could, so he never had kids of his own or got married, but at like the 15th camp Campbell reunion he came to camp, saw space kid as a personal challenge, and wound up lowkey kidding/adopting him?? But he doesn’t see him as his kid, but he sees him as his roommate?? It took 2 weeks for the counselors to realize he was missing LOL)

Bug catcher: sweet lil guy! Autistic, kind of a menace, knows a lot about bugs and Pokémon. He had a crush on Davey before he dropped the bad boy persona, he’s only into bad boys lolll. If you mess with him, he will absolutely flip his demeanor and put a buncha bugs he found in your cot, so don’t make him angry.

[veritas-scribblings]

lip gloss - @jegulus-microfic - words: 1,171 [explicit / NSFW]

James would like it on record that he did not have an ulterior motive. It was a little bit of innocent fun. His curiosity had got the better of him. So when Sirius said, ‘Can I do your make up?’ James had eagerly replied, ‘Sure!’

Sirius had gone through this stage while back at Hogwarts, see. He called it his ‘cheek and chic’ stage, in the spirit of David Bowie and Freddie Mercury. Glam rock. Flamboyant and larger than life, much like Sirius himself. Kind of rock and roll, but with a heavy dosing of glitter and sparkles. 

And make up.

Because Sirius is a rebel. He had spent years trying to find himself, trying to define himself, and he can never do anything quietly. These days, Sirius is more subdued—there’s less glitter and sparkles involved—but he’s still an artist at heart and every once in a while, he likes to dabble. Dip his toe back in.

That’s how they ended up here, with Regulus pinning James to the couch, his gaze fixed, charged. 

Regulus runs his hands through the hair Sirius had so meticulously styled, kisses, licks, sucks a pathway up James’s neck. He’s unbuttoned James’s shirt, pushed it open, so he can get his hands on every square centimetre of skin exposed. 

James wants to ask Regulus what he wants: what can I do, what can I give you, what do you need? But Regulus’s movements are determined, hungry, desperate and soveryintentional that all James can do is gasp, hiss through his teeth, grip Regulus’s silky locks in his fist. And then carefully, he releases them, pats Regulus’s hair back down in apology because he knows that Regulus hates it when James pulls. Gently, James cards his fingers through a few times, biting back a deep moan. 

It’s just that Regulus hasn’t said anything to him yet since he walked through their front door, spotted James on the couch and all but attacked him. Now, James is laying on the couch, Regulus straddling his waist, the friction against James’s arousal overwhelming, and he keeps dodging James’s attempts to kiss him. 

Preferring, instead, to tend to James’s chest, rubbing the pad of his thumb over James’s sensitive, hardened nipples. He leans down and takes one into his mouth, gently licking, sucking, grazing his teeth over it, swirling his tongue around it. James cries out, the sensation washing through him like a wave, knows that he’s swearing. Because Regulus is a menace, an absolute menace. A beautiful, beautiful menace. He rocks in James’s lap, swivels, rolls his hips in sharp thrusts and deep grinds, all but riding James.

The movements pull ragged, breathy moans from James. Gripping Regulus’s waist, he curses, slamming his head back against the couch cushion in frustration. Certain that Regulus is trying to kill with sosomuch and notnearlyenough. James tugs frustratedly at Regulus’s shirt as Regulus’s hips reach a tortuous, merciless pace. With the sweetest of smiles, Regulus pulls his shirt off, giving James a wide expanse of flushed, milky skin to run his hands over. 

‘Reggie,’ he warns, low and shaky, ‘keep it up and I’m going to finish in my pants before we get a chance to actually do anything.’ 

Regulus leans back, hands gripping James’s thighs, fingers scratching at the fabric of his trousers. ‘Are you wearing make up?’ he demands at first, then quickly changes his phrasing. Because it’s not a question. He knows James’s hair, James’s eyes, James’s cheeks and lips and colouring intimately. 

And, oh…oh, is that it?

‘You’re wearing make up,’ Regulus says.

Regulus takes James by the chin, tips his head to the left, to the right. With a quizzical expression, he drags his thumb over James’s lips, a pink nude colour, Sirius had informed him. His lips are sticky, James knows, and he can tell that Regulus isn’t so sure about that part. That Regulus has been weighing the pros and cons of kissing him.

That being said, Regulus does appear to be quite the fan of the other parts. 

‘Careful, dear,’ James says between laboured breaths. ‘You’ll smudge me.’

Regulus just frowns and leans back again, swivelling his hips, eliciting a chesty groan of, ‘ohshitohshit,’ from James. Regulus’s expression darkens, his movements pooling straight through James so he’s that much closer to teetering on the edge of his orgasm.

And then where would they be? Because ever since Regulus had walked through the door and all but tackled him onto the couch, James has known exactly what he wants, and that’s to get Regulus naked and to worship his magnificent body. But what James also always wants is to give Regulus what he wants, and what Regulus really seems to want right now is to pry an orgasm directly from the depths of James’s soul with how very into James he currently seems.

And James can never not give Regulus what he wants, so here lies James: conflicted

When Regulus plants his hands on James’s shoulders and rocks again, James hastily rushes out, ‘Fuck, Reggie, stopstopstop, just wait.’

Regulus diligently stops. Waits. He shuffles backwards so he’s no longer seated directly on top of James’s achingly hard erection, and then has the audacity to give James the sweetest, most innocent of smiles that James can’t help but smile back. James closes his eyes, because looking at Regulus all flushed and incredibly turned on and slightly mussed and shirtless is doing nothing to stem the pleasureblissarousaldesire rushing through his veins. 

‘Just give me a moment,’ James says, breath heaving, heart racing marathons in his chest.

‘Then we continue.’

‘Yes, then we continue.’ James groans, has to grab Regulus’s hands, which have started to trace a pathway to the waistband of his pants, and warns, ‘Don’t touch me if you want to continue. Don’t even look at me.’

Regulus laughs quietly. ‘I like the make up,’ he leans over and whispers by James’s ear. ‘You should wear it more often. You look so lovely.’ To his credit, he’s being careful not to touch James, hovering over him, James left feeling somewhat bereft, but…fuck.

James moans, grips the couch cushion beneath him, hips jerking up into the air. Regulus’s words have hit James straight in the groin, and he shudders, twitches. Feels the energy of Regulus’s words like static, electric, a buzz in the air, on his skin.

‘You’re so pretty like this, Jamie, so beautiful,’ Regulus whispers by James’s ear, his breath warm, ghosting against James’s skin. ‘Did you do it for me, Jamie? You did, didn’t you. You’re so good like that. So good for me. I love you like this.’

James whines, teetering now. Teetering so close, and when Regulus finishes with a quiet, ‘I love you,’ James’s eyes roll back and he’s seeing stars, seeing white, the full force of his orgasm hitting him so intensely that he is lost to the world for a moment. 

When James comes to, Regulus is kissing him. Regulus pulls back, brushes James’s hair from his forehead, studying him with an expression so enamoured that James’s heart flutters in his chest. Distantly, James thinks that Regulus may be right. And that maybe make-up should come with some sort of warning label.

‘I love you too,’ James murmurs drowsily as Regulus lays down, humming, so they’re chest-to-chest. ‘Just give me ten minutes to recover and I’ll get you back.’

[strawbeerossi]

All Hallows Eve

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid x Derek Morgan x Luke Alvez

Description: You and your three very attractive coworkers get to talking about sex and kinks whenever you are left alone at David’s Halloween party.

Content/Warnings: Alcohol mention/consumption, kink discussion, just a pinch of peer pressure when it comes to Spencer opening up, some germaphobic mentions, MMMF foursome, oral (f + m rec), face fucking, anal fingering (f rec) , double penetration, cum play (various types including: creampie and cum swapping), unprotected sex, some nice Spencer aftercare.

Word Count: 5.6K

Kinktober Day Thirty One: Foursome

Navigation || Kinktober Masterlist || AO3

This one is fucking filthy. Thank you all for coming on this Kinktober adventure with me!

Halloween parties were typically held at Dave’s house. It just made sense considering how big the place was and the amount of space he had not only in the house but also in the backyard. Besides, David Rossi would never turn down hosting a party at his place. He enjoyed throwing any kind of event right in his own backyard. That also meant a few extra guest rooms for the wasted adults that would be at said event.

It was Halloween night, everyone gathered at their coworker’s house and settled in the backyard, enjoying the heat of a fire that the guys had all set up. JJ and Matt were absent, spending the night at home with their children to celebrate the spookiest holiday of the year. Drinks were flowing, Spencer even partaking in just one drink for the night as opposed to his normal sober status, allowing himself to join in the festivity that he was normally left out of. However, he could argue that he liked being sober on nights like this. There was always something comical about someone in the team getting inebriated to the point that they act like an absolute menace to society.

Thankfully, tonight wasn’t too bad. Despite Emily and Penelope indulging in the liquor that their host never seemed to run out of. It had gotten to a point later that night where you had to wrestle both women into bed in one of the many guest rooms already set up for the adults staying over. You’d managed to get the two plastered women settled into bed — Mainly because you laid horizontally over both of their bodies to keep them in place. It took about twenty minutes, however it wasn’t long until you’d heard the soft snores of Emily while Penelope was sleeping soundly while snuggled up under the sheets.

You had to lay there for a moment to collect yourself before pushing yourself out of bed, heading out of the room while gently pulling the door shut. Last thing you needed was to make too much racket and have to chase those two around again. “I feel like you all owe me for that.” You commented as you’d pulled open the back door, Spencer’s head lifting up from a book in his hand. “Better you than us.” He commented, which had the other men outside laughing. “Rossi turned in early. It’s just us.” Luke informed you, the absence of Dave being noticed. “Fun. What are you three doing?” You asked, heading to the chair closest to Spencer as you were sitting down.

“Nothing really. Derek and I were just talking while Spencer is too interested in,” Luke paused and leaned over the table to inspect the book cover. “Quantum Physics..” He crinkled his nose. There was never a dull book choice with Spencer, that was for sure. “Most guys would probably be talking about their sexual experiences by now. But our lovely Spencer Reid is reading about physics.” You teased, all in good fun as you teased the male sitting beside you.

“I prefer not to talk about sexual experiences.”

“Because he hasn’t had any.”

“Derek!”

The table had erupted into laughter minus Spencer who had the look of a kicked puppy. “I’ve had sex before.” He grumbled while putting his face back in his book. “You have? Really?” You asked while letting your eyebrow raise. “Why is that a surprise?!” He asked, suddenly taking offense as he was closing the book. “No! I’m not saying it’s a surprise but you just don’t look like the type!”

“How does one look like a virgin?” He quizzed you, hazel eyes narrowed as he stared at you, head tilted to the side slightly. He had you there. What were you supposed to say? You cleared your throat as you lifted up your nearly forgotten glass of wine, swirling the red liquid around the glass. “I’m not sure how to answer that.” You admitted, making the genius smile triumphantly. “Exactly. You don’t know.”

“Okay, Casanova. Tell us about it.” Derek was intrigued as he leaned against the table. Spencer wasn’t one to share his personal life as often, so maybe that one drink he had in the night could’ve loosened him up even just a little bit to talk about it. “What?” The curly headed male squeaked, now looking between the three of you as you all seemingly waited patiently for a story.

“I’ve had sex more than once.” He huffed.

“Okay. So pick a good experience to tell us about then.” Luke chuckled as he raised an eyebrow, elbows propped up on the table.

With pursed lips, Spencer was crossing his arms. “I have to?” He asked while you nodded. “Oh yeah, you definitely have to. You’ve got some secrets that we need to know right now.” You giggle. Even with his apprehension, the brunette took in a breath. “Okay.. I guess I could share it. I mean, I have been wanting to get out of my comfort zone so maybe this will be good?” You highly doubted that he’d jump from being nervous like this to being able to talk about sex explicitly. It would take him a bit.

“Come on, pretty boy. I'm bored to death.” Derek sighed dramatically while you were punching his shoulder with a loud, “Shush!!”

“You remember Max, I’m sure.” Which yes, everyone did. His short-term girlfriend who had her family taken hostage a while ago. “We do, go on.” You urged him on, arms crossed on the table top. “I think you’re a little too into this,” Luke commented, the commentary being met with a swift kick to his leg under the table.

“I really don’t know how to describe it? Like, sex is sex, right?”

“Any interesting kinks? Come on, kid. We know you aren’t as innocent as you think you are.”

“Interesting? Not really. I mean, I am a fan of face sitting but I think that is standard, right?” The words escaping his mouth had Spencer’s face bright red as he leaned back against the chair behind him. There were wolf whistles at the admission. “Doesn’t matter if it’s standard or not.” Luke chuckled while holding his glass up as if he were toasting to him while chuckling.

“Well, what’s not considered normal?” Now Spencer was curious as he looked between the three of you. He wasn’t a big kinkster, as anyone would imagine. The question had you, Derek and Luke exchanging looks. “Well. Mixopholia isn’t common, I don’t think. Which that’s enjoying watching yourself have sex. Could be in front of a mirror, recording it, anything like that. It can be really fun, in all honesty. Especially if you record and play it back.” You responded, only raising an eyebrow at the gaped mouths of your male coworkers. “What? You’ve never done that? Derek, come on. You can’t lie.”

“No, mama. I never had that idea.” He chuckled while shaking his head. “It’s good to know now, I’m gonna need to try it.” He added while Luke was too busy thinking of things he liked. “It’s probably not abnormal but I really like thighs. I feel like that would be the body part I’m most obsessed with, especially when it comes to thigh fucking. It can be better than penetration.” He hummed. Which, they were pretty standard things to be sexually aroused by, even if Spencer would’ve never thought of the two ideas.

“I think I like group sex. I don’t have it a lot, however it can be pretty great when you have the right group. I know it’s nonconventional. I’ve had all sorts of sex but I think I’ll always go back to that.” Derek spoke up while shrugging his shoulders. “A group?? Do you know many germs are exchanged in encounters like that?” Spencer asked, dumbfounded while the man in front of him waved him off. “It’s a good time. If you don’t believe it, then I highly suggest you at least try it before denying,” He chuckled.

Judging by Spencer’s look of morbid curiosity, he was considering it. “How does one even do that? I feel like you need to have connections..” Was Spencer really considering it? “You just have to find people you’re comfortable with.” Derek shrugged while tapping his hand against the table. There were a few moments of silence while Spencer’s brain was working overtime, you could swear smoke was coming out of his ears.

“I trust all of you.”

The words had your throat running dry. “Is that supposed to be an invitation?” You asked, your own curiosity shining through. You’d always considered Derek, Luke and Spencer as attractive, however you never considered having sex with all three of them. You had to admit, you really did enjoy the idea of getting passed around by some of the most attractive men on the team. The idea was enough to cause goosebumps to spread across your body. Surely it would be a bad idea to have sex with a coworker, much less three of them.

Spencer’s face was bright red as he put his hands up in self defense. “You don’t have to say yes but I would say that I wouldn’t mind sharing.. Germs..? With you guys.” He shrugged while shyly looking away. What a compliment from Spencer Walter Reid. The man who wouldn’t even give handshakes was willing to throw away his typical formula for three coworkers. “I am just saying!” He rambled on, now feeling self conscious at his admission.

“Now hold on. I think this idea could be beneficial.” Luke spoke up while chuckling. “I mean. We are all grown ups, right?” Your head nodded immediately after Luke put in his own two cents. “I agree with Luke. I mean, where’s the harm?! We are all friends anyway, I couldn’t imagine this being awkward for us.” Realistically, there were many issues with the idea of having sex with coworkers. You didn’t even care about them right now.

“Are you guys serious?” Derek asked, wide eyes from shock. “Why not? You mean to tell me that you’re gonna pass up sex?” You asked curiously while raising an eyebrow. “Well, no. I just.. Damn, I didn’t know tonight would end like this, that’s all.” He explained, being so flabbergasted at the idea of a foursome with his coworkers. “Might I suggest we move inside? I mean, the last thing we need is Rossi looking out the window and seeing us out here.” Luke began while nodding towards the window overlooking the backyard.

So, you did.

You had never been this excited before, your body buzzing with arousal and excitement. This was a sexual bucket list type thing for you, not something you could imagine doing regularly. Plus, having it be with Derek, Spencer and Luke just made it twenty times better. The minute you were closed in the guest room furthest from everyone else in the house, there was a bit of awkwardness as the four of you looked between each other. How does somebody kick something like this off? With strangers, it would be different but you all worked together.

This was a lot harder to start than you thought it would be.

“How about we ease ourselves into this?” Derek suggested, now looking between the other three people in the room. “Why don’t you give us a show?” He hummed while looking in your direction, your face flushed. “Like a strip tease?” The nod of his head solidified your suspicions, your head nodding as you watched the three men sit on the edge of the bed to face you. The intense gaze of three men was intimidating as all hell, especially when they had the look of hunger and desire burning holes through your skin.

Your movements were slow as you pushed the Halloween sweater up your body, tugging it over your head before tossing it somewhere else in the room. You hadn’t planned for this so you couldn’t get too dressed up, however the Halloween themed bra and panty set was cute and got the job done. Next was your leggings, which were slowly being pushed down your thighs as you were revealing the thin panties, a nice wet patch darkening the cotton. You liked this attention. You liked the idea of being ravished by three men who wanted to use you for their own pleasure.

It was exhilarating.

“Come here.” Derek was the first to speak up, his finger making a gesture to get you to come closer. You obliged, only letting out a squeak of surprise when you were being tugged in the man’s lap. You could feel the bulge in his pants pressed against your ass, brain clouded with arousal as you were letting your arms wrap around Derek’s shoulders. His hands were gripping your ass, eyes scanning over your body as he let out a low groan. There were no words exchanged, the man mesmerized by your nearly fully exposed body, his hands running up your hips before cupping your clothed breasts.

You let his hands continue to caress and explore every inch of skin, face hot as you were rocking your hips against his strained cock in his jeans. “You like this, don’t you? Like the attention of your friends and coworkers?” He questioned while an eyebrow raised, your head nodding as you let out a shaky breath from the friction of his jeans against your clothed clit, the roughness of his pants felt like heaven through the thin fabric of your underwear. “Who knew you’d be a whore? You want us to record this? Give you something to look back on whenever that little pussy of yours is desperate to be stuffed?” The words elicited a moan, your head nodding. “Fuck. Yeah.” You whined.

Luke was the one who was getting his phone, setting up the device on a lamp on the bedside table to get a clear view of the bed. You were caught off guard though when you were quickly pushed to the mattress, your back hitting the smooth sheets. Using your elbows to prop yourself up, you watched as Derek was patting Spencer’s shoulder. The brunette was already overwhelmed seeing you in your underwear, his face bright red as he could feel the tight constriction of his boxers around his cock.

“Go on, kid. You wanted to try this, didn’t you? Only fair you get to go first.” Derek commented while nodding his head to urge him on. The awkward male was clearing his throat as he was approaching the bed, your legs wrapping around his waist to welcome him as your hands then gripped his arm, gently tugging his lanky frame closer to you as you let your lips press against his. The sudden action had him taken aback, however the shock wore off rather quickly as his lips slotted with your own.

It was calm at first, until the desperation set in as the male above you. That was when the kids had grown messy, your fingers tangled in his brunette curls as his hips were grinding against you. Spencer would be the first to say that he was going to drink in the moment, to enjoy this while you allowed him to touch you in any way he pleased. It was no secret that the awkward, shy genius had a small crush on you, his behavior making it apparent more often than he realized. That was why he was taking his time, his tongue in your mouth as the germaphobe was surprising himself with his loss of apprehension to swap spit with you.

Much to both of your dismay, he was pulling out of the kiss. He made up for it though as his hands were coming up to cup your bra-clad breasts. A low groan left his lips as he kneaded at your soft, plush tits. One hand was slipping under you, his fingers quickly unclasping the article of clothing in his way and throwing it off to the side. He groaned, eyes fixated on your bare breasts. “You’re so pretty.” His voice came out in a pitiful whine, head dipping down to take your right nipple in his mouth.

The warmth of his tongue swiping over your hardened nub had your eyes fluttering shut, the man sucking and nipping at your sensitive nipple while his other hand was working to massage your other breast, nipple rolling between his fingers to give it the equal attention that it deserved. As he’d done his best to alternate, it wasn’t long until your chest was glistening with the remanent spit from his attack on your tits.

With his hungry eyes trailing down your body now, he was leaning down to press a few warm and wet open mouthed kisses down your stomach. Your fingers were quick to tangle in his soft brunette curls, head tilting back as his tongue trailed slowly down your stomach, nipping at your skin to leave a nice and big purple mark on your hip. The other men in the room had not been forgotten about however, your head tilting to the side to look at both Luke and Derek, the two men watching the scene play out in front of them, eyes blown out with lust and desire.

In a way, you felt like a gazelle in the presence of three starving lions, one already making his pounce onto you while the other two had calculated plans of their own. Spencer was blowing cool air on your glistening pussy, a satisfied hum leaving his lips as you clenched around nothing from sheer desperation. “Hold on,” Luke spoke up, his silence being short lived as Spencer was letting out a whine from his spot between your thighs. You didn’t expect Spencer to actually listen, however you weren’t able to question it as the other male was approaching the bed. “I have an idea. No need to get all teary eyed, Reid.” He spoke with a chuckle, the male between your thighs huffing as he backed away momentarily in order for Luke to throw you into a position.

The stark contrast between Spencer and Luke was something you were gracious for. The genius had a since of desperation, everything about him screaming that he wanted to drink in your essence and bask in the warmth coursing through his veins. The other had a clear motive in mind, the confidence to pick you up and move you into a position that he wanted you to be in. Both so different and yet so alike in the fashion of your thighs being sticky with your own arousal. With your body being turned horizontal, your head was now hanging off the bed which left very little to the imagination of what was coming next.

What you weren’t expecting though was Luke to nudge Spencer to the side when he was between your legs again, your left leg hanging off Spencer’s shoulder while your right was hanging off Luke’s. “Let’s put your germaphobia to the test.” Alvez just had to tease Spencer, a chuckle leaving his lips as he was leaning closer to your aching core. His tongue licked a fat stripe up your slit, a soft breath falling from your lips. You’d never thought of two men licking your pussy at once but the idea of it had butterflies going crazy in your belly.

Spencer was hesitant, looking at the spit mixed with your arousal. Before he could talk himself out of this idea and hide in the corner, he was leaning forward to lick the same spot the other man did. The comfortability was soon setting in as Spencer let his tongue flick over your clit, a sharp breath leaving your lips as you let a hand tangle in the mop of curls. Whenever the male began to suck and toy with your clit, Luke was bringing a hand to his mouth as he sucked at his fingers, eventually getting them settled at your entrance before pushing one of the digits inside of your desperate cunt, eliciting a moan as your head tilted back, still hanging over the edge of the bed.

As the two men between your legs alternated between licking at your weeping pussy or fingering you, Derek got a little bored of watching. While your head was tossed back, eyes fluttered shut as both skilled tongues were licking and sucking at your sensitive center, Derek worked on unbuttoning his pants as he approached where your head was hanging off the bed. “Alright, pretty girl. We are gonna put that mouth to good use.” He spoke, voice low and husky as he was retrieving his hard cock out of his pants.

Your mouth was practically watering as you took in the sight of the leaking tip of his cock, the shaft glistening from the beads of precum that were dripping from his slit. There was a lot going through your mind, however your body worked as if it was going off muscle memory.

As your desperate pussy clenched around someone’s fingers, your mouth was falling open to give the male above you the access that he needed. “That’s what I thought. Who would’ve known that you’d be such a whore?” He asked, an eyebrow raising as his hand tugged at his cock, slipping his cock past the threshold of your lips while his hand was running over your chest.

You were on cloud nine, even through the gagging on your coworkers cock to the point tears were brimming your eyes. There was a lot going on, so much that you couldn’t focus on everything at once. That was what prompted Derek to take control. With his body leaning at a certain angle, he didn’t hesitate before thrusting into your mouth to elicit a moan as your eyes were screwed shut.

The thrusts were rough and precise, the male abusing your throat and surely rubbing it raw as he used your mouth like a fleshlight. “She’s gonna cum. Do we let her do it, doc?” Luke’s voice spoke up, your pussy clenching tight around his fingers as your walls fluttered around the three fingers pistoning in your swollen, desperate cunt. Spencer was all for it, pulling off of your throbbing clit with a ‘pop’. “I think she’s been good enough to deserve it.” He confirmed, watching as Luke pulled his fingers out of your pussy, eliciting a whine from your lips being muffled around Derek’s cock. Luke was gripping the back of Spencer’s hair, catching the man by surprise.

The next movements were quick, Spencer having his face pushed into your pussy once more while Luke kept an eye on your mannerisms. With Spencer licking and sucking at your sweetness and Luke practically jerking his head in different ways to take control himself, it wasn’t long until your legs were shaking. With your orgasm building and Spencer sensing you were close, he didn’t need Luke's guidance to push his face further in your warmth, the sinful sounds of slurping and sucking filling the room.

“Fuck. Cum on his tongue, make a mess of his face.” Derek growled as he glanced down at you, his cock twitching in your mouth. Whenever you were hitting your orgasm, the man fucking your throat followed right behind. You did your best to swallow what you could, however he was tapping your cheek after his cock was pulled from the warmth of your mouth.

“Hold on, keep some of it.” He spoke, which had you nodding slowly as you pushed yourself to sit up while glancing at the men between your legs. “Why don’t you share with Spencer?” He asked, arms crossed as Spencer looked at the man with wide eyes. “Huh?!” you were following the instruction, your hands cupping Spencer’s cheeks before you were pressing your lips against his. In the process of the male getting comfortable enough with the idea, you were pushing the remnants of Derek’s cum into the brunette’s mouth, slowly pulling out of the kiss while wiping the corner of your mouth with your thumb.

Spencer wasn’t really fond of it, however he knew this was for the sake of experimentation and he wouldn’t have to do it again. Luke was the first one to stand up as he worked on getting his clothes off, not being able to stand being fully clothed and constricted any longer. “Come here.” He mumbled, now moving to sit on the edge of the bed while tugging your body into his lap, his cock against your wet cunt as you weren’t hesitating to roll your hips slowly. “Fuck.” You breathed, feeling the hardness of his cock slotting between your slick pussy lips as you were grinding against his lap.

“That’s right.” Luke purred while his hands were reaching behind to grip your ass, a soft hum leaving his lips as he squeezed the plushy skin into his hands with a bruising grip. With one of your hands reaching between the both of you, you were positioning the bulbous tip with your leaking hole, you were sucking in a breath as you were slowly sinking down on his hard cock. Much like Derek’s, Luke had a good amount of length and girth, his fat cock stretching out your walls with a pleasurable burn.

His hands were gently guiding your hips, starting the process of working out what was most pleasurable for the both of you. The movements were slow, your hands holding his shoulders in order to brace yourself as you surrendered control to Luke for the time being. “Ah!” You squeaked, a certain angle making him hit the perfect spot. “There it is.” He smirked, the next thrust being a rough snap of his hips that had your body bouncing in his lap, a drawn out moan falling from your lips. Your hands rested gently against his broad chest, nudging him to lay back as you got into a more comfortable position. With your hair falling over your shoulder, your head was tilting forward as your hips were rocking at a steady pace while the large hands were now moving up your torso to fondle your breasts in his hands. While his fingers pinched and stimulated your sensitive nipples, you were reduced to a whining mess as your hips picked up their pace in sloppy movements.

The sensitivity from your previous orgasm had you feeling overwhelmed, just the feel of every ridge and curve of Luke’s cock had your body with satisfaction. Of course, he had learned your tell when it came to you about to cum, the way your greedy pussy tried pulling more of his cock even though he gave you everything you could take. Right whenever your second orgasm was in your sights though, you were stopped. The firm grip on your hips weren’t Luke’s, no, they were Derek’s. He’d managed to get on the bed behind you at some point. “I feel like Spencer has been completely neglected.” He tsked, his head shaking. “I think I know how you can make it up to him though.” He mused.

You were confused and deprived of an orgasm, a whine leaning your lips as you were pushed forward, your bare chest smashed against Luke’s as your ass was in the air, giving the other two men a tasteful view of your pussy stuffed with Luke’s cock. Derek took initiative, reaching around your body as he was pushing three fingers into your mouth. You weren’t really aware of what the game plan was, however you were happy to suck and lube up his fingers for whatever he had planned. With one lubed up digit tracing the ring of your other hole, you were letting out a gasp of surprise. “Think you can handle it?” Derek asked.

It was the bare minimum, however you appreciated the search for consent before he went any further. “I-I think so? What’s the harm in trying?” You were pushing your ass back against Derek’s fingers more, anticipating how this was going to go. You’d experimented plenty, however you’d never thought to try anal. With everyone trying all sorts of new things tonight, you figured it would be fun.

You were holding tightly to Luke’s arms whenever the other man’s finger was gently pushing into your ring of muscle, a few tears being wiped away from his hand as he helped soothe you from the foreign intrusion. “Doing such a good job.” Derek’s voice spoke up, Spencer’s gaze being all too fixated on the way his finger was being tightly gripped. It made his cock twitch in his pants, his hands working to quickly get them off for after Derek got you fully prepared.

One finger turned to two, then two turned to three. You wouldn’t lie, you never expected to like the aspect of anal sex this much. Especially while being stuffed full of cock in one hole and getting fingers in another. It made you feel like a cock hungry whore, something that had your pussy clenching tight around Luke’s cock.

When you were considered prepared enough, Derek’s fingers were gently being pulled out of your hole. “Alright, Reid. Go for it. Think she’s ready to have both of her holes stuffed.” He chuckled, watching the brunette quickly getting on his knees on the mattress behind you when Derek moved. “You’re sure this is okay?” His voice was shaky as he asked the question, his dick throbbing from being neglected for the past few activities. “It’s okay. Please.” Your voice was in the form of a whine, feeling a whole new level of intoxication as soon as his slick tip was coming into contact with your asshole.

Spencer was groaning as he watched the way the hole was embracing the tip of his cock, his head tilting forward to send a string of spit to your desperate asshole. It was an action you hardly expected but you were embracing it as soon as you felt his cock pushing into you, a cry leaving your lips as a pool of drool was falling from the corner of your mouth and on Luke’s chest. This was too much, however you didn’t want it to end.

The two men had to come to an agreement, setting a pace where they wouldn’t rip you in half. Spencer’s large hands were gripping tight to your hips, nails digging into your flesh and surely leaving crescent indents in your soft skin. That was when Derek was retrieving the phone on the bedside table, approaching the bed as he played cameraman. “Look at her taking two cocks at the same time. Can you believe how much of a whore she is?” His voice was cold, yet not enough to be outright hurtful.

As Spencer was thrusting, your body was moving slightly as you were pretty much reduced to a little fuck doll that both Luke and Spencer were using for their own gratification. Your body was reduced to a pile of malleable clay in their hands, both men working out a system where they could reduce you to a crying and whining mess. You knew you wouldn’t last much longer, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you were whining and moaning with each rough thrust. “You look like an angel. So pretty when you’re fucked out.” Derek cooed, the phone being moved to reveal your wet chin from drool, your eyes glossed over from the tears from overstimulation, even the way you laid all your weight on Luke’s chest as you were reaching your orgasm, walls clamping down onto the male’s cock.

There were a few more thrusts from Luke before you could feel a fish of warmth, his cum filling your spent pussy as you were shivering from the sensation. Spencer was the next one to reach his orgasm, spilling his seed into your tight hole as he was letting out a guttural groan. It was something that didn’t even sound like Spencer. You were so blissed out that you didn’t even remember whenever Luke gently lifted you off or his softening dick, laying you back on the mattress while your head was resting against the fluffy pillow that Spencer propped it up with.

“We should get you cleaned up.” Spencer cooed, his hands moving to gently rub your inner thighs to help relax your aching muscles from the new position you were just put into. Derek was nodding as he was getting himself dressed again. “We can run her a bath and help her get cleaned up. The bathroom is just next door.”

Spencer was the one to head out, reaching the bathroom and getting the bathtub ready with some bubble bath he found in one of the bathroom cabinets. Derek and Luke were both helping you stand and walking with you to the bathroom since you were still quite out of it. “Do you want all of us to stay here with you?” Luke asked while lowering you into the water once your bath was ready. For the first time in ten minutes, you were looking up at the three men with the same fucked out look in your eyes. “Spencer.” You whined gently, while the other two men were patting the brunette’s back before heading out of the bathroom to get the room cleaned up.

“Get in.” You slurred, the man not having to be told twice as he was stripping himself down once more and gently lifting you in order to get into the water before letting you lean back against his chest. “Thank you.” You yawned, feeling the warmth of his hands as he was massaging your body to help relax you even further. “You don’t have to thank me, silly. I’m here to help.” He assured you while pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Good. Hopefully we can relive this night in the future. Just the two of us.”

[bipolargreen]

I can see him being a master at flirting with other people. I mean, he’s been flirting with his Angel for 6000 years. Got lots of practice. 😆

Okay but genuine question.

How do you think Crowley would respond to someone flirting with him? Like, we know Aziraphale would get all possessive and Eastern-Gate-Guardian on their ass but what would Crowley do, if Aziraphale wasn't there?

Would he embrace his demon tendencies and flirt back maybe? Nothing too serious, but just to rock the boat a bit? Or would he blush and look around for helplessly waiting for his angel to appear and smite them? Because this looks an awful lot like (yes, innocent, maybe just playful but) flirting to me:

Like, the smirk??? The drawl??? The head shake???

I'm all for Crowley being a total simp for Aziraphale but he must enjoy a couple flirty comments now and again.

[mellosdrawings]

didnt know who to confess this to so uh MELLO I CHOOSE YOU

why the goblin king from Labyrinth kinda...👀

(yes goblin king jareth played by David Bowie sue me I had damsel in distress fantasies as a young human✋😮‍💨)

anyway would I be an absolute menace for making a twst OC off of him? Cuz technically disney bought the rights...

*pokemon voice* Mello mello!

Mello uses Art attack!

Hm~ yes, the sexy gingerman~ Please do a Twisted OC based on him, make him the sluttiest sword bisexual king please. I'd LOVE to see that, please warn me if you ever do it!

[thenightshadowqueen]

SFTH moments that live rent-free in my head, part 2 (in no particular order)

Because apparently I have more.

“Mmm, but I’m poison and you love it”

Creepy Jim 🏳️‍🌈

The hat-nose letter

“STOPINTHENAMEOFTHELAAAWWWW!!!”

Sam losing his fucking mind during the expert game in HUGE

“Mr. André Beetroot, you’re my hero!” “Ah, I don’t like you.”

Luke as the horny goblin

Tom’s whole speech as Locomotion—it was so fucking gorgeous and it’s in my head all the time (especially “I’m older than the devil, sir” and “I am the Silver Line and the Silver Line is me!”)

“Don’t let the constant mental breakdowns get you down.”

The bit in the Suspicious Crème Brûlée where Sam yanks Luke around by his hair

“AJ stays with Luke…” (I’m sorry in advance for getting this stuck in your head)

Luke taking his trousers off in Nigel (and then using that to get Tom to do it in My First Bra)

“Lovely little Luke Manning!”

AJ’s rap about Disney princesses (Worst thing I’ve ever seen. 10/10.)

Tom holding up a fucking buttplug during one of the COVID livestreams????? (Also I can’t for the life of me remember which one it was and if anyone knows that would be very appreciated because I’m half-convinced it was a fever dream)

“Gavin, obviously there’s a difference.” (I don’t know what it is, but the way Tom says it has captivated me)

The Jane Austen bit in West End Big Boys

“Grab her by the face and DON’T LET GO! Because sometimes they run away and LEAVE YOU!”

“I’m just a writer, and I like to ride bikes. I’m not weird, I’m not strange; I enjoy juices, and I have a good family.”

“When the wind doth blow/to and fro/you must get your shit together/and fuck up them hoes”

The kiss in the prom Timewarp, and especially the way AJ and Tom were cheering them on

Also the kiss in the “what not to do with your coworkers” video, because the way Luke throws three of his limbs in the air at once is glorious

“Husband! Husband!” “Oh, darling, you’ve been down in the basement—” “The chinchilla’s a FUCKING NAZI!”

Sam calling AJ “CrossFit Voldemort”

On that note, “He looked a little bit like Henry Cavill if he had a wasting disease” (and Tom’s little sassy head movement in response)

“You’re keeping me on tenterhooks, like a piece of sirloin.”

The scene Tom and Sam did for Tom’s anniversary

“The camper the German, the more likely they are to win.”

“You said it was water under the bridge.” “Aye, and you know what’s good at drowning people?”

Giggly Luke from Hornchurch

The booba looba (and AJ’s glorious reaction to it)

“Can I call you Tony?” “You can, but my name’s David.” (“So, Tony—”)

Jackson from the COVID livestreams (“Sit in the well-done corner and just shut up.”)

Sam’s fucking apocalypse plan (which is still in my head despite my best efforts)

“I just wanted to have the talk.” “The talk? The boob talk?” “The boob talk that all women must have with their mothers.”

The wife from the casino scene (it’s the accent)

“Do you need a lie-down?” “I thought I already was.”

“Larger than a man, smaller than a dream”

Moriarty-Sherlock mental fuck chess

“Capitalism is blood!” “CHANGE!” “Communism is yoghurt!”

Tom bring an absolute menace during Puppets

“God bless the British Transport Police” (said in the most ‘what am I doing with my life’ voice I’ve ever heard)

“Stay on your stool bitch boy”

“Get your hand out of my car”

[firenati0n]

"who was that?" - a crack-ridden 500 word ficlet for @jafffacakess and a silly little addition to my unhinged Sims fic where Henry discovers something...wicked on Alex's laptop. reading that before this will make this infinitely funnier i swear. paging @indestructibleheart bc this universe is your fault fr (thank you ily) and @softboynick for the inspo! thank you all! and especially thanks to @anchoredarchangel for fact-checking my mpreg, which i steadfastly ignored. :) ilyyy

warning: SIMS-RELATED MPREG!! because wickedwhims is a menace of a mod!!! just like. a sentence or two. nothing graphic. but it is There. sorry for the mpreg debut. it won't happen again i swear!!!!

Alex’s computer is noisier than ever, and it’s driving Henry up the bloody wall. 

“What deranged scenario have you cooked up in your game now?” Henry asks, fearing the answer but knowing the outcome. “It’s only ever this loud when they’re either having gravitationally impossible sex on an appliance, or you’re testing the limits of our furniture. Our Sims neighbors must despise us.”

Alex’s resulting expression is a bad omen. “I’m…messing with some controls in the mod.”

The minute Alex leaves to use the toilet, Henry rushes to Alex’s laptop, still open and whirring. He is not prepared for what he finds.

Sim Henry and Alex are cuddling on the couch and watching a movie, the fireplace crackling. A serene evening in, all things considered. 

Sim Henry is also, by Henry’s estimate, seven months pregnant. 

Henry hears a flush and quickly goes back to his seat; he absolutely cannot wait to hear how Alex talks himself out of this one. 

Alex settles back in, a bright smile on his face. Henry is, against all odds, in deep and embarrassing love with this man.  

“How’s our baby doing?” Henry asks. 

Alex beams. “Artie’s great, he’s a toddler now, getting along so well with David and the horse.” After Henry bought Alex the pet expansion pack, all bets were off. Suddenly, Alex wanted the Horse Ranch and Aliens too. How their Sims had horses in their brownstone backyard in the city...outside the bounds of human logic, but perfectly acceptable in the game.

“No, I meant our other baby,” Henry says, working overtime to keep his face neutral. 

Alex freezes. “What baby?”

“The baby I’m carrying. Who was that, hm?”

“That’s scientifically impossible and you know it.”

“Alex, Artie is literally a science baby. My sim, however, is currently in the third trimester.” None of these words are in the English language.

Alex squints at the screen. “Damn, whose pregnant husband is that?”

“Alex.”

Alex laughs, cracking under Henry’s stare. “Listen, I’m not sorry. One day you had morning sickness and the game told me you were pregnant, which I didn’t even know was fucking possible. If I had to guess, it was the upside down fridge sixty-nine, I run that shit constantly. What should we name her, you got any suggestions?”

“You’re telling me oral got me pregnant?”

“Are you seriously nitpicking the realism of male pregnancy to my face?” Alex barrels on. “How about Cat, as a nod to both your mother and my sister? That could be cute. Art and Cat!”

“Art and Cat,” Henry echoes. “Yes, I quite like that.”

“Perfect, Cat it is,” Alex says with a grin. 

“To recap,” Henry starts. “We have a toddler, a puppy, a newborn on the way, and a horse—”

“I don’t want to hear a single fucking word about Nutter Butter,” Alex interjects. “He completes our family.”

“Of course,” Henry says seriously. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He looks at Alex curiously. “How close am I to—”

“Labor? About thirteen minutes away.”

Henry pulls his chair around next to Alex. “Perfect.”

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

today I've been reminded of detective comics annual 8, which is my favorite of ed's comic appearances, so I thought I'd ask you what's your favorite riddle guy comic and why?

god DC annual #8 makes me INSANE that's like. pure distilled Riddler sauce right there. absolute platonic ideal of the Riddler. he is perfect to me. somebody surgically wire that into Tom King's brain before they ever let him write the Riddler again I swear to god.

I'm still working on my New Earth read through so I'm finding new faves all the time, but as of this exact minute some faves:

I fucking hate to hand it to Chuck Dixon but Detective Comics #705-707 (Dixon, Graham Nolan, and David Roach, 1997) is so so good. like he's literally just trying to do a stupid baseball heist and blow up Cluemaster while he's at it. THAT is a Riddler story, babey. Echo and Query are even there!!!

Impulse #48 (Bill Messner-Loebs and Craig Rousseau, 1999) is just a spectacular one off Riddler appearance, namely because you get the strong impression that if left alone with Bart for like. two hours. Eddie would probably willingly kill himself. very fun watching his schtick absolutely crumble in the face of a speedster.

Batman Adventures Vol. 2 (worked on by like half a dozen different writers, 2003). honestly the BTAS version of the Riddler was never anything spectacular to me - he's fun, not a standout - but goddd he rules so hard in the sequel comics. he's (once again) retired and made legitimate money, so now he's so desperately bored he's harassing Batman with stupid non-crimes until Batman snaps and just starts using him as a private detective so he'll have something to do. mwah.

Batman Confidential #26-28 (Nunzio DeFilippis, Christina Weir, Kevin Nowlan, and José Luis García-López, 2009), which is collected as Batman: King Tut's Tomb. another banger story, it has everything I like. namely, the Riddler being so annoying that Batman lets him work a case with him and bitchy buddy comedy shenanigans ensue. and King Tut is there!

Dinner for Two (Ram V and Phil Hester) in Strange Love Adventures (2022) #1 is so... like they just went for it. they said fuck it the Riddler bisexual and spending his Valentine's Day making Batman hang out with him to complain about how he's lonely. make of that whatever you want.

Catwoman: Lonely City (Cliff Chiang, 2022). an older, widowed Riddleguy who's kicked his riddle habit (in addition to, apparently, a pretty brutal coke problem) and is settled in to running slightly more normal grifts with his adorable daughter Edelia. look at them. I have to show you this because I just like Chiang's art so so much, look at themmm

also obligatory shoutout to the Riddler appearance of all time, whichever issue of Bruce Wayne: Murderer?/Fugitive is the one where he's crashing at Stephanie Brown's house being a fucking menace and Black Canary kicks him out on his ass in five seconds flat while he's wearing a fluffy yellow bathrobe. and also kicks Cluemaster out of his own house for good measure.

[skunkox]

Sam Missing Out? Nah.

I like to think back that after their part in the Quinn situation was done in over with and vacations started with the pack. A beach day episode if you will.

Sam kicks Darlin' out of the room to hang with the pack boys and their mates. Darlin is upset about it most of the morning. Slowly through the day, they're enjoying themselves more at the beach.

But what about Sam? He's in a dark Hotel room finishing up work he couldn't have gotten done with Darlin to distract him. He's a little bummed and bored. The mates ain't having that.

They're sending pictures and videos in a 4-person group chat of Darlin going ham in volleyball, napping, and being an absolute menace. All without Darlin' realizing.

He doesn't respond to the text until he has the group in sight. A simple "Thank you." Is all he's able to send out before his name is getting called and he's being bombarded by Darlin and Asher to settle an argument.

Little note. The argument was over who would win in tug of war. David and Asher vs. Milo and Darlin.

I kinda wanna draw some of these out, but watch me have zero ambition to do so.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

06/03/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Samba Schutte; Nathan Foad; Anapela Polataiva; TellTaleAwards Round 2; AdoptOurCrew; June 3rd An Excellent Day: Trends; WeAreAllTaikaNow; RoboJenks; Other Fandoms; Menacing Memes; Articles about #DontStreamOnMax; NeurOFMDivergent Pride Week; FanSpotlight; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika

== Rhys Darby ==

Throwback picture from The Cryptid Factor with Rhys and Buttons!

Source: The Cryptid Factor Instagram

== Taika Waititi ==

Quick crumbs of Taika on Rita's Instagram from her latest show!

Source: Rita Ora's Instagram

== Samba Schutte ==

Samba's rom-com Advanced Chemistry is premiering on June 26, 2024, 9:15 PM at TLC Chinese 6 Theatres Los Angelos CA! Get tickets here.

Source: Samba's Instagram

== Anapela Polataivao ==

Our fabulous Auntie has been appointed Officer of the NZ Order of Merit (ONZM) in this years King's Birthday Honours List! This is a prestigous position awarded for contributions to the Pacific performing arts! Congrats Anapela!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Pacific Islands Screen Artists (@pacificislandsscreenartists)

Source: The Coconet TV Instagram

== Nathan Foad ==

Nathan is feeling pretty saucy about another Billionaire planning to visit the Titanic Wreckage.

Source: Nathan Foad's Instagram

== Round 2 of TellTale Awards ==

TellTaleTv Awards Round 2!

The awards are open from June 3 - June 9! OurFlagMeansDeath, Rhys and Ruibo both made the next round! So did Deadloch and Deadboy Detectives, please be sure to get your votes in each day!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Adopt Our Crew ==

Our crewmates over at @adoptourcrew want to hold WBD Accountable! Check out their statement below!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Instagram

== June 3: An Excellent Day ==

Where the hell do I even start? Wow crew! Today was impressive! #DontStreamOnMax was trending on twitter, so was #SaveOFMD, there was so much polite menacing and massive aggression going around, it was wonderful to see.

= Trends =

The absolute darling @ twindy5 was kind enough to send me some trends just before posting this so we could see some of the latest numbers.

Source: twindy5 Twitter

Our crewmates over at NeverLeftPodcast caught #FireDavidZaslav as well!

Source: NeverLeftPodcast's Twitter

= We Are All Taika Now =

So one thing you don't want to miss is that apparently certain folks on twitter think that everyone fighting for Our Flag Means Death on Twitter is a Taika bot. So rejoice! If you wanted to be Taika Waititi, now you can be!

Source: @ pirateidiot's twitter And everyone rolled with it!

Source: DagaNaranjade's Twitter

= Long Post Is Long - See More Below The Cut =

= RoboJenks =

Okay so there was some speculation because an account named "David Jenkins" started getting into the fun with everyone today (but not Chaos Dad's account). Many folks thought it was a bot that maybe somehow got attached to our trends, but I read back to when the account was created back in January and they've been around a bit. They've hopped on the bandwagon against WB for quite some time (for CoyoteVsAcme, etc) so it's still possible they're a bot, but hard to tell for sure. What did cause some excitement was Chaos Dad then blocked them.

Source: @meowzawowza_ on Twitter

= Other Fandoms =

One of the other exciting things that happened today was just how many other fandoms outside of OFMD Twitter decided to jump on the bandwagon for #DontStreamOnMax. Even the SnyderVerse folks got into it!

Source: @ BatFleckMovie's Twitter / @ seven_sugars on Twitter

= Menacing Memes =

Sources: @xxprincess1x's Twitter / @ love4ofmd's twitter

= Articles Covering the Polite Menacing! =

Q+Magazine Article

Source: Q+Magazine Twitter

Daily Caller Article

Digg.com Article

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

NerdStash Article

Source: Nerdstash.com

‘Don’t Stream On Max’ explained: Why people are boycotting the streaming platform

Is Warner Bros. Discovery Inc (WBD) worth investing in despite its overvalued state?

== NeurOFMDivergent Pride Week ==

The lovely folks over at @neurofmdivergentprideweek were kind enough to allow me to share some info for the upcoming Week!

"What is NeurOFMDivergent Pride Week?

NeurOFMDivergent Pride Week is a week-long Our Flag Means Death fan event for creating & sharing fanworks focused on neurodivergent experiences. There are prompts for each day, but any content relating to OFMD and neurodivergence is welcome."

Wanna learn more? Please visit them here on tumblr!

Source: NeuroOFMDivergent Pride Week's Pinned Post

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Today's Cast Cards are Lily Riley, "head guard" of The Red Flag, she had the distinct honour of being knocked out with chamomile! and also one of our lovely writers-- Natalie Torres!

Source: @melvisik's Twitter!

= Pride Month =

Gonna try to keep up some spotlights from the fans with Pride month! Tonight's spotlight is the absolutely stellar @blackbeardskneebrace with some adorable Peanuts style of our favourite pirates! Peanuts T4T Ed/Stede / Peanuts Polycule

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies. Today we are all Taika. You're Taika-- I'm Taika, all of us are Taika! And you know what Taika does? He gets some sleep, and he eats good food and drinks plenty of water!

You know what else he does? Laugh, and cry, and joke, and enjoy life! And even further-- he is kind and he is thoughtful, and he is proud of the work he does, and so you should be too! Goodnight Taikas, I hope you sleep well and wake up refreshed tomorrow. So proud of you <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Tonight's gifs courtesy of the always lovely @darkinerry and @thunderwingdoomslayer

[ofmdrecaps]

10/31/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR: Taika Waititi; Samba Schutte; Nat Torres; Kristian Nairn; Linds Cantrell; Dominic Burgess; Vico Ortiz; Fan Spotlight: Our Flag Means Fanfiction New Show; Halloween; Adopt Our Crew OFMD Themed Spooky Season Prompts; Love Notes;

Alrighty lovelies. So this edition is a lot later than it should be because I wanted to get permission from fans to include their absolutely beautiful work! Thank you to everyone who allowed me to share-- and please oh please if you'd like to share yours I'd love to see more of your beautiful creations-- from costumes to pumpkins for Halloween!

PS: Happy Boop Day to all who celebrated here on Tumblr!

= Taika Waititi =

Well, Taika and Rita really did steal the halloween show, I tell ya. Look at these awesome Legend of Zorro costumes!

Source: Getty Images

Source: Rita's Instagram

= Samba Schutte =

Samba and family went for something out of this world for Halloween!

Source: Samba Schutte's Instagram

= Nat Torres =

Nat asked a very important question on Halloween!

Source: Nat Torres Instagram

= Kristian Nairn =

Hey! Did you know Kristian did an interview with Instinct Magazine ?

= Lindsey Cantrell =

Our darling set decorator went as Selena Gomez from Only Murders In The Building (another show Lindsey worked on!)

Sounce: Linds' Instagram

= Dominic Burgess =

Happy Halloween from Jeffrey Fettering! He gets to dress up in all the cool costumes year round!

Source: Dominic's Twitter!

= Vico Ortiz =

Vico's put up more OFMD BTS for S2 on their Patreon! Some sneaky previews below! Vico's Patreon.

Source: Vico's Patreon

Source: Vico's Patreon

== Netflix Requests! ==

Your daily reminder from our dear crewmate aproperpirate to put in those netflix requests! https://help.netflix.com/en/titlerequest

Source: A proper pirate on Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Our Flag Means Fanfiction =

While not specifically OFMD related-- it's brought to you by Our Flag Means Fanfiction and it's spooky! New podcast by the folks who brought you OFMFF about Haunted Hollywood! Check it out on their linktr.ee!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction

= Halloween =

Since Halloween always gives us such fabulous costumes I really wanted to share some that popped across my feed! LadyLiu7 on Instagram was kind enough to share her Blackbeard Costume, which I have to say, is INCREDIBLY bad ass. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

Source: LadyLiu7's Instagram

One of our very active and amazing crewmates, politestmenace over on twitter also dressed as Ed this year, with bonus mini-menace as Kevin from Time Bandits! (Jemaine even sent some praise!) Thanks for letting me share this awesomeness dear!!

Source: Politest Menace's Twitter

Another one of our wonderful crewmates -- _gentlebeard over on twitter went as one of the Skeleton Mermaids! Check out this stunning costume! It was so impressive David re-tweeted it! Absolutely fantastic job Chelsea! Thank you so much for letting me share this with the crew!

Source: _Gentlebeard's Twitter!

= Adopt Our Crew Prompts =

Our Fan-Tabulous crewmembers over at @adoptourcrew kept up the engagement by asking folks what kind of cool OFMD stuff people were into for the spooky season and I was so happy that some of our crewmates were cool with me sharing because LOOK AT THE TALENT ON THIS SHIP!!!!!

Source: Adopt Our Crew's Twitter  Like seriously, how do you all manage to get this so intricate! ITS AMAZING and SUPER SPOOKY. I would have loved to see it in person! Great job Sarah!!

Source: Habitvol6's Twitter

Oh and this extremely cool mermen skeletons decoration!? EXCUSE ME!? Poison2Princess over on Twitter knocked it out of the park with this one!!

Source: Poison2Princess on Twitter

OH and just by the way, check out this fabulous flag pumpkin by AsYouWish311 over on Twitter! It's so hard to carve pumpkins, and you DID NAIL IT! So hard! Frenchie would be proud!

Source: AsYouWish311

Tumblr keeps deleting my edits-- but Check out this SUPER BADASS PUMPKIN THAT JENN on bluesky made! Look at that!!! It looks like a title card! You are amazing luv!

Source: Metavenhorst on Bluesky!

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies! I hope you all had an absolutely wonderful spooky couple days! Halloween is one of my favorite times of year because everyone gets to be so creative, and expectations are dropped even if it's just for an evening!

Please oh please remember to take some time for yourself soon if you didn't get to these past couple days! You need to recharge too. Sending so much love your way -- take care!

Source： MyEasyTherapy

[soupbabe]

I don’t know who to go to to talk about this but I had a dream about The Lost Boys last night and I’ve been thinking about it all day and I was wondering what the boys reactions would be if you told them you had a dream about them. If that makes sense.

Thank you as always <3

Telling the Lost Boys You Dream About Them

This is so cute and w the Lost Boys ?? It's even better omg

David

- He's milking the attention on him for all it's worth

- He's going to make you embarrassed and flustered about it and David is going to have the best time of his life doing so

- "No, repeat what you just said, I didn't hear. What was I wearing again?" He heard it he absolutely heard it

- Like don't get me wrong, it's extremely flattering for David, he loves that you think about him all the time

- But also he will poke fun at you any chance he gets

Dwayne

- I think this could be the only thing that could make Dwayne red in face

- He's a sap he loves thinking that you dream about him!! Please tell him everything!!

- His eyes are transfixed on you, his teasing is minimal

- If you ask him if he ever dreams about you, I think his blush gets worse

- He absolutely does, all the time, but not even waterboarding is going to get that information out of him

Paul

- He reacts like David, but his teasing is somehow much worse

- You could describe to him the most innocent dream, but Paul will turn it into something dirty because it's funny to rile you up

- He's trying so hard not to laugh everytime he goes "Stop lying what really happened" every time you tell him your dreams

- You're not going to win,,, you tell him to shut up and hit him and he's all giggles and still adamant about the dream that never happened

- he's too much of a menace never tell him anything

Marko

- Yeah Marko is teasing, but honestly he's more excited to hear about the weird dreams

- Were there any freaky weirdos chasing you? Was he the freaky weirdo chasing you? Let him know PLEASE

- But if it's something unexpected for him, like a dream that's genuinely sweet, he's gonna go quiet

- He's not overly flustered like Dwayne, but he's just gonna buffer a lil. Thinking too much about what to do

- "...so you wanna recreate it or what."

[porcelain-rob0t]

since you lovely people gave me horror movie recommendations, ill give some of my own!!

Autopsy of Jane Doe (a recent favorite, suspenseful and has supernatural elements but a lot of the scary stuff is done through implication)

Videodrome (for the freaks out there)

The Fly (im a sucker for anything by David Cronenberg)

Phantom of the Paradise (my favorite horror musical, the music and costume design are amazing)

Ginger Snaps (really compelling story about 2 sisters, once inseparable, growing apart. also werewolves)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (really spooky, its a classic)

Frankenhooker (batshit. absolute nonsense. its so fun)

Re-animator (Re-animator)

Altered States (local man takes so many drugs in a sensory deprivation tank that he devolves into a caveman)

Terrifier and Terrifier 2 (not so much a narrative film as it is a showing of the sickest and nastiest practical effects)

Vampire Clay (BONKERS)

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (real good fun with awesome practical effects)

Audition (Takashi Miike is a fucking menace, great film)

The Lost Boys (punk vampires in the 80s, what else do i have to say)

House of 1000 Corpses (i love you Rob Zombie)

The Love Witch (gorgeous, looks right out of the 60s but with a modern twist)

Suspiria (the original and the remake are great but are basically 2 completely different movies)

Teeth (its teeth)

Vamp (Grace Jones is a cool vampire lady)

The Stuff (BONKERS FUCKING YONKERS)

Mandy (Nic Cage goes crazy with it)

Perfect Blue (rest in peace Satoshi Kon you were a genius)

The Brood (David Cronenberg back at it again)

Arabella Black Angel (classic giallo stuff, murders and the most stunning Italian women you've ever seen)

Poughkeepsie Tapes (found footage thats actually scary)

mother! (most anxiety inducing thing ive ever witnessed, i never ever want to see it again. horrifying. be careful, besties)

Tetsuo the Iron Man (the most bizarre body horror ive seen, its great)

Bone Tomahawk (awesome Western horror)

Tenebrae (Italy loves violence)

there's probably more im forgetting but i can always add more later

[lilxmoo]

Pets I think Squad 312 would have, but it's very specific

Tyler - The obvious choice is a golden retriever, but I think he would love and own a pitbull/staffy. Her name is Luna, (he's not a creative guy) and even though she looks scary, she's an absolute baby who loves being cradled. She sits on his chest as much as she can, and even though Tyler originally wanted to train her to do tricks, the best she's got is sit and shake. Has the biggest baby eyes that can make Ty do anything 🥺 It's not uncommon to hear Tyler say; "Luna, jump. Luna, Lu- that's not - naw, you can have a treat for being cute :("

Scarlett - she's really not much of an animal gal, but she found the tiiiniest little kitten on the street one day that latched onto her, and she never let her go. Y'know the type, the little ones that put their whole body into meowing and it's just a tiny squeak. Its a little white cat, and she named it Bae <3 absolutely pampers the little thing with treats and a massive cat climbing thing in her room that the lil thing can't even get up 💕 she combs Bae's hair often, and both of them love it. Especially when Scarlett is gossiping with Auri or Fin while doing so. She carries Bae in her purse everywhere she goes, like a scifi equivalent of the 2000's poodle.

Cat - a bird, (obviously) but specifically a parrot. She probably got it through some drunk deal at a pub one night, and figured, eh, it has wings, may as well keep it. She named him Raptor (she was sixteen and edgy), and Raptor is a MENACE. Bites fingers until they bleed, screams as loud as possible at the most inconvenient times and pisses on your shoulder. But it's worth it in Cat's eyes, because he listens to her and she taught him to say cuss words. She says that he calls everyone a motherfucker because of whoever owned him last, but everyone knows the truth.

Finian - He's a frog guy. He is SUCH a frog guy. Dariel has fish, Fin has frogs. Like Scarlett, he's not one for animals, but mainly because he doesn't like animals that are less....animal. Anything with fur, for example. (Cuz Gremps, etc) If it can learn to open a door, that's already a bit weird for him. However, little slimy things are ok with him. He has five little frogs named Ian, Keith, Andrew, Graham, and David. (He thought it was funny) They're all small and adorable, and quite frankly have very little behind the eyes. Anything more high- maintenance is very inconvenient for him, so his little office things are perfect. However, Bae has a very soft spot in his heart.

Aurora - Rabbit!!!! She has the cutest little bunny that Kal gave her for her birthday after discovering how much she loves them, and she ADORES her little fluffball. His name is Merlin, a little white ball of poof who Auri squeals over almost every day. He has a massive cage, decorated to the nine, but he's almost never in there because Auri is holding him so often. So often, in fact, she forgets he's there sometimes, going to pick something else up on instinct, where Kal will immediately pick up Merlin in replacement. It's a system. She has a pale purple leash for him and everything 😭 (shes so cute djsjsjsnskanajxfja

Zila - Every animal shes ever had is a science experiment 💀 however, Nari has a little sausage dog named Diddles, and since Nari loves Diddles, Zila ....tolerates Diddles. He gives her a MEAN stink eye, and she will respond fully conversationally. Nari will be like, "Yay you're both getting along! :D" and as soon as she leaves, Diddles will look Zila dead in the eye until she starts yapping about the tax bracket to him, silent passive-aggressive energy being thrown between the two.

Kal - Listen, Aurora is so infatuated with Merlin, there's no room for any more animals between them. However, Kal really likes animals in general, and there's a farm of Yeins near their house on New Syldra - they're the equivalent of Horses, but more dragon-like. He loves spending days there when Auri is busy, and volunteers there often when he can. There's one particular Yein named Kirai who is his favorite, and she's a gentle thing who likes to play cheeky tricks on him, like hiding the buckets 🥺 I can see him taking care of most animals, honestly, and is more than happy to babysit any of the Squad's pets when needed. He also has plenty of plants :)

[cellarspider]

14/30 Gnosis, and lack thereof

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We return to the movie that could’ve been a contender, Prometheus. In this episode, a two-year-old poisons a man.

I’m not alone in thinking David is the most well-realized character in this movie. Michael Fassbender was given the most space to act through expression and reaction to others and his environment, which helps create an android character that has much more inner life than his human castmates. He also gets what I’d call the Data bonus: android characters can more easily get away with screamingly clunky exposition or explicitly stating the meaning of a scene. You can give them absolute gibberish if you want to, and it sounds perfectly logical when they say it.

[Video description: A small selection of technobabble from Star Trek: The Next Generation, mostly featuring Data.]

David is also the easiest to be sympathetic to, because people keep being assholes to him.

Yes, David has received mysterious orders from a mysterious man who’s still in stasis. It’s Peter Weyland. It’s obviously Peter Weyland, this is why David has the dream-reading helmet thing that felt so out of place at the start of the movie. This is also why Guy Pierce, a 45-year-old, was hired to play an infinity-year-old man. Weyland was going to appear as his ideal self in one of these dream sequences, but it was cut from the movie. So instead, we just have Vickers demanding to know what “he” wants, and the answer is “Try harder”.

Peter Weyland, beginning a trend for the company bearing his name, has an obsession with this alien stuff. …This trend was actually begun by Charles Bishop Weyland in a completely different continuity that also featured ancient alien contact with Earth, but hey, details. This Weyland wants results, damn it, and David gets an excuse to kill one of the crew.

Although it’s not quite that simple. The movie indicates that David can’t go against orders from the company, especially from Weyland. He has to “try harder”, and he’s brought back one of those alien urns that apparently nobody cares to examine but him. 

It’s got a goth lava lamp in it.

While we don’t get much indication David knows why this stuff is dangerous to organic life, I’ll give the movie a very tiny pass: it’s implied that David has figured out how to read the Engineer’s cuneiform script. He decants a droplet of Menacing Black Goo onto his (Weyland-branded) fingertip, and sets off to find a test subject.

Thank god, he chooses Holloway.

I don’t like not liking characters. I don’t generally anticipate seeing someone’s comeuppance, but this movie gets me damn close to that feeling. In the movie’s partial defense, some of this was probably intended. Mainstream American fiction sets a high bar for what a bigot looks like, and Holloway’s been clearing that. I’m less certain the movie knows everyone’s behaving like a bigot, but we’ll get to that eventually. But Holloway? Definitely. 

This creates a fairly interesting scene. One that even reaches towards good. David has the means to kill Holloway. The audience knows this. And we get to watch when he makes the decision to commit to it, and why. And, blessedly, it actually ties into an intentional theme of this movie.

Holloway’s still drunk and miserable–he’d previously muttered that the alien structure on the planet was “just another tomb.”

I, speaking hyperbolically, would consider that grounds enough to off him. He’s an archaeologist who can be sent into a drinking binge by finding a thing made by dead people. An archaeologist. That in itself is such a ridiculous indicator of how unfit this character is for his role.

But no, he wanted to meet his maker, “To get answers.” Sure, lots of people have existential questions they feel are important to them. That is understandable. Even clueless assholes can wonder about that. But it takes an especially hubristic asshole to decide they’re the one worthy of asking someone who might have the answer. 

Did anybody notice they didn’t bring any diplomats or orators on this trip? They didn’t bring any cultural exchange gifts with them when they approached the alien structure? They weren’t treating the Engineers as people, just something to discover.

David, someone else they’re not treating like people, asks Holloway “Why do you think your people made me?”, and the answer he gets is “Because we could.” David is quietly but openly disappointed in that.

This is the whiplash of this movie. We have the biggest bunch of shambolic assholes klutzing around, waiting to get killed off by the plot, and then we have David expressing the horror of Valentinian gnosticism.

In brief, because even the wikipedia page says “The theology [...] is extremely complicated and difficult to follow”, the strain of Christian gnosticism expressed by the 2nd century theologian Valentinus believes that the world was created by an ignorant being. They believed there was a benevolent god out there which was/produced Jesus, but the “demiurge” (lit. “craftsman”) who created the world was not this deity. The demiurge was an imperfect, lesser being, that believed itself to be the supreme god of the universe. In Valentinianism, as with other gnostic schools, to be born into the world was to be trapped within a creation of a creature that was prone to fits of abusive behavior.

Gnostic christianity was, at the time, an attempt to square a number of contradictory ideas: the incredibly influential ideas of Plato on the formation of the universe, the growing theology of the new Christian movement, and the examples of divine wrath and jealousy in Jewish scripture, that were hard to square with what early Christians saw as a less violent deity they wanted to worship. There were probably also some anti-Jewish Egyptian myths thrown in as well, depicting their god as a donkey-headed incarnation of the malevolent deity Set. Some may recognize that particular slander from its deployment against early Christians, including our first-ever depiction of Jesus’ crucifixion: a rude bit of graffiti.

In our time, there’s only one remaining gnostic (non-christian) religion with direct continuity to the period, the Mandaeans. Christian gnosticism was deemed heretical, when one of the many different gospels circulating at the time was selected as orthodox in the 4th century, along with an attendant theology. But it remains a fertile ground for philosophers, fiction-writers, and every once in a while someone reinvents bits of it when they hit upon contradictions in christian thought.

The latter seems to be the case with Ridley Scott. He’s sometimes described as an atheist, but his actual statements on the matter show he’s either casually gnostic or a deist, very much influenced by christian doctrine: 

“If we looked at the whole thing practically speaking, the Big Bang occurred and then we go through this evolution of millions, billions of years where, by coincidence, all the right biological accidents came out the right way. To an extent, that doesn't make sense unless there was a controlling decider or mediator in all of that. So who was that? Or what was that? Are we one big grand experiment in the basic overall blink of the universe, or the galaxy? In which case, who is behind it?”

https://www.bbc.co.uk/films/callingtheshots/ridley_scott.shtml

Tangent: that question came right after he’s quoted as saying “I think there's no originality [in modern films]. I think everyone is stealing from everyone else and going back to the originals. I usually go in for 20 minutes and then get up and leave.” This interview was back in 2006. The next year he’d direct American Gangster (loosely based on a biography), then Body of Lies (Roger Ebert called it "a James Bond plot"), then Robin Hood (it’s Robin Hood), then Prometheus, the movie I only watched because it seemed to be in dialog with a film he directed in 1979. Buddy, if that was your problem, you were part of the problem.

But anyway. We have a director who had stated interest in a christian-influenced cosmogony: he seems to state a belief that we exist because we are supposed to exist, rather than being a random event. This is a movie where he does seem to be trying to do something with that. He is beginning with that premise, and using Alien as the shared language to express it. He doesn’t know why we exist, but he can imagine why we would make someone exist.

Placing that in amongst these characters is bleak to the point of puerility, frankly. Why would we create a being like us? Well, this one asshole doesn’t know.

David, at this point in Prometheus, has already determined that humans are fallible creators. Hell, he’s decided the Engineers were also failable. He, y’know, witnessed how gooey one of their corpses was. But he’s yet to decide on whether humans are just ignorant, trying and failing to be good–as per Valentinus–or if they’re actively malevolent.

The fact that David doesn’t poison Holloway’s drink until just before handing it over does neatly show that he was quietly given a chance to answer that question. Holloway continues to be a jackass and, when asked what he’d do to answer the existential question he wanted to pose to the Engineers, he says he’d do “anything and everything”.

The movie eventually treats Peter Weyland as especially deluded in his self-serving quest to get the Engineers to answer his more selfish questions, but I don’t think his ego was unique in this movie.

On our journey into the movie this time, Prometheus has attempted to grapple with subjects its script hasn’t earned. Next time, it incorporates imagery it hasn’t earned. It’s worse than this scene, but in a far more subtle way.

If you want a neat look on european and middle eastern mysticism from an academic standpoint, Esoterica is a pretty damn good channel, put together by a self-described “dialectical materialist in the tradition of Structural Marxism”. I’ll happily take recommendations on other academic sources aimed at the general audience.

https://youtu.be/7EwRD6SzXws

https://st-takla.org/Feastes-&-Special-Events/Coptic-Nativity-of-Jesus-Christ-Milad-El-Masih/Coptic-Jesus-Incarnation-Christmas-03-Incarnation-of-the-Word-Book.html 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masbuta 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drabsha 

https://www.deviantart.com/pretty--kittie/art/Prometheus-Engineer-407322241 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archon_(Gnosticism) 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sethianism

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