#david you absolute menace

[bipolargreen]

Ok but for real…Crowley in that white uniform is the ultimate thirst 🥵🔥

[dani-ya-dig]

Love the David and Darlin siblings thing. Love older brother David I really do… but consider…

Older sibling Darlin and protective younger brother David???

I have thoughts and hcs below the cut 🤭

•First thing out of the way David and Darlin would absolutely get into knock-down drag out screaming match fights that end in multiple doors being slammed, and then after a few hours Darlin would knock on David’s door and ask if he wanted to go to Seven Eleven as an apology

•David of course says yes and he gets the choose the music they listen to on the drive over

•Darlin acts like David is the annoying little sibling trope of coming in your room and messing with all your stuff, and leaving the door open on the way out. Darlin is the one who actually does that.

•David holds no reservations about snitching on Darlin to Gabe. Don’t get him wrong, he can keep a secret if he really doesn’t see any harm in it. But the second that secret is something potentially dangerous to Darlin (or if he is pissed at them), it’s suddenly “DAAAAADDDD!”

•One time Darlin was sneaking out to a house party, and David caught them on their way out. He couldn’t tell it was going to be bad news but they asked him not to tell Gabe, and letting them leave was easier than getting into a fight about it. Before Darlin could even make it half way to the party they get a call from Gabe telling them to get their dumbass home.

•When Darlin did get home both Gabe and David were sitting in the living room waiting for them with disappointed looks on their face. Rather than trying to plead their case they immediately called David a snitch and started fighting with him.

•Darlin is protective of David. Of course they are, that’s their little brother! Even if little is a relative term. But for as protective Darlin is of David, David is just as protective of Darlin. The difference is he just isn’t as loud about it as Darlin is.

•Darlin can and will get in your face and threaten to beat you to death if you mess with their brother, while David is a more stoic kind of protective. He stands behind Darlin with the most menacing face he can manage if he thinks someone is trying to start something with them, playing bodyguard and constantly making sure they are safe.

•They absolutely would kill for each other, but they can not let the other know that because they would never live it down.

•David isn’t impulsive in the slightest, he has an extremely level head, but if his older sibling is running head first into something stupid his ass is right behind them.

[queeniecamps]

Camp of 2002!

Since we know nothing about the other campers from when David and Jasper were kids, I took it upon myself to give them some pizazz! (With some additional help from @jinjuomo, @cherryanimates, and @chettyspagetti for helping me develop them further from my initial concepts!)

We don’t have any names settled yet, but personality wise-

Horse rider: The only girl at camp (besides counselor Darla), but she’s super cool! She knows a lot of cool moves and tricks to use on the horses at camp, and probably calls everybody Partner. She speaks specifically in western slang, and she’s quite close to Darla, being the only other girl at camp.

Canoeing/“yacht” kid: spoiled and flamboyant rich kid, he’s the youngest kid of the president of the local yacht club. He got grounded for probably wrecking his very own yacht, so he was dumped at camp for the summer as a punishment. He thinks he’s better than everyone else (he’s not), and is very often being knocked down a peg by everyone else.

First aid kid: a fairly cautious kid, he’s often getting injured in one way or another but, luckily, both of his parents are doctors! Wanting to follow in his parents footsteps, he takes on first aid camp to begin his medical journey. If he’s not worried about his own health, it’s everybody else’s.

Archer: very ambitious and very competitive, this kid has decided everything is a competition and needs to win, no matter what. First to breakfast? He’s gotta win. First to swim all the way across lake lilac? It was never a competition to begin with, but he’s gotta win! If he’s not the best at something, he gives up entirely on it to focus on the next major thing. He personally saw Jasper as his arch nemesis, then he saw David when he became the best camper. (Side note: as an adult, one of his siblings got married and had kids before he could, so he never had kids of his own or got married, but at like the 15th camp Campbell reunion he came to camp, saw space kid as a personal challenge, and wound up lowkey kidding/adopting him?? But he doesn’t see him as his kid, but he sees him as his roommate?? It took 2 weeks for the counselors to realize he was missing LOL)

Bug catcher: sweet lil guy! Autistic, kind of a menace, knows a lot about bugs and Pokémon. He had a crush on Davey before he dropped the bad boy persona, he’s only into bad boys lolll. If you mess with him, he will absolutely flip his demeanor and put a buncha bugs he found in your cot, so don’t make him angry.

[junochako]

I needed this audio so bad

Spoilers for newest audio !!!!!!

I didn’t know I needed this audio….. GAMING WITHTHE PACK AUGHH 😭😭😭

Darlin’ pov 😋

And they main Francis, known by the rest of the pack.

David is a crotchety old man 😭

“I’m literally a month younger than you, Ash.”

“Well, you’d never guess. Now, everyone correctly assumes Milo is the baby of the crew.” CONFIRMED AGES ! Asher > David > Darlin’(?) > Milo. Darlin’ could be older than Ash or David if you think that.

Asher: “PUT GRAMPS ON THE MIC!”

SAM KISS !!!!!!!! NOBODY MOVE WE KISSED SAM

Their little commentary on the way they play 😭 and the game telling them to stay together to survive

“We’re coming to save ya buddy!!!” Ash is so silly goofy

Ash saying adrenaline might be a bad thing considering how they run ahead and Milo saying they’ll “come running back after they piss off something big” 😭

The bickering!!!!!!! Asher and Darlin’ best friend agenda!!!!

Helpp them staying silent when they’re being attacked 😭😭 I think I heard Milo mention them being on mute

Darlin’ may be the opposite of me cuz I’m not a silent player at all I will start rambling if I’m afraid or being attacked

Milo’s “You are NASTY, Ash.” Had the best delivery in this video

Darlin’ immediately going for the witch after David just suggested avoiding her

I like the little moments where they mention helping/covering Darlin’ when they’re injured ….. hehe I love pack dynamic stuff

I love David just letting Asher call him “big guy”

“No melee weapons… in my Left 4 Dead 1!” HES SO CUTE 😭😭😭

Asher: “Speedrunnn! Follow that biker!”

Darlin’ playing Francis all the time as a kid is cute because I always headcanoned that they wanted to be a biker when they grew up

Darlin’ is just going all in and I love them for it cuz that takes a courage I don’t have… especially if you’re dealing with zombies

DARLIN SHOOTING THE CAR HELPPP and after David said not to 😭

“What the hell are you doin?!”

“Hell yeah >:D”

“You absolute MENACE…”

MILO CALLING DARLIN’ A MENACE WE MADE IT

David’s “Some things never change 😒” and he has experience

Darlin’ trolling Milo is all I needed in life !!!!! And them not closing the door until an infected was right there 💀

“Alright, close the door. Hey, close the door!“

“You think you’re reeal funny don’t ya? 😒”

“And they’re right!”

Several shenanigans later…

Darlin’ immediately going ahead again 😭

David: “Apparently, we’re speed running again… 😑”

Asher: “Hey, wait up for the rest of us!”

Milo: “They’re looking to wrap this up so they can get back to the grampire.”

Sam: “I heard that!” (His lil icon appearing on screen 😭)

Asher: “Jesus, he really does have super hearing!”

Asher’s “thanks for the save!” 🫶🏻

Darlin’ shooting David by accident is so silly

“That was my head…” LMFAOOO

“Don’t you even start with me, beta-boy!” Is Milo just always Asher’s victim 😭

Asher sounded so worried when Darlin’ got knocked back … the babies

“Oh—oh shit, are you.. oh, okay good.”

I think Asher is so into it that he acts like he genuinely hurt someone 😭

“Shit, boomer! Oh fuck… it got on you, I’m sorry…”

“Oh, you’ll apologize to them. 😑”

THE OTHER BOOMER 😭

“The pack that wallows in vomit together, stays together!”

“Remind me to have you make the next Solstice speech…”

Is this Darlin’ on a sniper content

Darlin’ throws a pipe bomb an it hits Asher 😭

“I— Hey! You threw a pipe bomb at my head!”

“That just means they got good aim.”

Milo has such younger sibling energy and I’m so glad it’s confirmed. Also I’m lowkey surprised Asher is the oldest but he does give off goofy older brother

Also I know they have to stay together to survive but there were little moments where they just followed the lead of Darlin’ and stood in one spot to defend each other and I think it’s super cute… like an actual wolf pack would just stay together in one place to defend each other

[bipolargreen]

I can see him being a master at flirting with other people. I mean, he’s been flirting with his Angel for 6000 years. Got lots of practice. 😆

Okay but genuine question.

How do you think Crowley would respond to someone flirting with him? Like, we know Aziraphale would get all possessive and Eastern-Gate-Guardian on their ass but what would Crowley do, if Aziraphale wasn't there?

Would he embrace his demon tendencies and flirt back maybe? Nothing too serious, but just to rock the boat a bit? Or would he blush and look around for helplessly waiting for his angel to appear and smite them? Because this looks an awful lot like (yes, innocent, maybe just playful but) flirting to me:

Like, the smirk??? The drawl??? The head shake???

I'm all for Crowley being a total simp for Aziraphale but he must enjoy a couple flirty comments now and again.

[veritas-scribblings]

lip gloss - @jegulus-microfic - words: 1,171 [explicit / NSFW]

James would like it on record that he did not have an ulterior motive. It was a little bit of innocent fun. His curiosity had got the better of him. So when Sirius said, ‘Can I do your make up?’ James had eagerly replied, ‘Sure!’

Sirius had gone through this stage while back at Hogwarts, see. He called it his ‘cheek and chic’ stage, in the spirit of David Bowie and Freddie Mercury. Glam rock. Flamboyant and larger than life, much like Sirius himself. Kind of rock and roll, but with a heavy dosing of glitter and sparkles. 

And make up.

Because Sirius is a rebel. He had spent years trying to find himself, trying to define himself, and he can never do anything quietly. These days, Sirius is more subdued—there’s less glitter and sparkles involved—but he’s still an artist at heart and every once in a while, he likes to dabble. Dip his toe back in.

That’s how they ended up here, with Regulus pinning James to the couch, his gaze fixed, charged. 

Regulus runs his hands through the hair Sirius had so meticulously styled, kisses, licks, sucks a pathway up James’s neck. He’s unbuttoned James’s shirt, pushed it open, so he can get his hands on every square centimetre of skin exposed. 

James wants to ask Regulus what he wants: what can I do, what can I give you, what do you need? But Regulus’s movements are determined, hungry, desperate and soveryintentional that all James can do is gasp, hiss through his teeth, grip Regulus’s silky locks in his fist. And then carefully, he releases them, pats Regulus’s hair back down in apology because he knows that Regulus hates it when James pulls. Gently, James cards his fingers through a few times, biting back a deep moan. 

It’s just that Regulus hasn’t said anything to him yet since he walked through their front door, spotted James on the couch and all but attacked him. Now, James is laying on the couch, Regulus straddling his waist, the friction against James’s arousal overwhelming, and he keeps dodging James’s attempts to kiss him. 

Preferring, instead, to tend to James’s chest, rubbing the pad of his thumb over James’s sensitive, hardened nipples. He leans down and takes one into his mouth, gently licking, sucking, grazing his teeth over it, swirling his tongue around it. James cries out, the sensation washing through him like a wave, knows that he’s swearing. Because Regulus is a menace, an absolute menace. A beautiful, beautiful menace. He rocks in James’s lap, swivels, rolls his hips in sharp thrusts and deep grinds, all but riding James.

The movements pull ragged, breathy moans from James. Gripping Regulus’s waist, he curses, slamming his head back against the couch cushion in frustration. Certain that Regulus is trying to kill with sosomuch and notnearlyenough. James tugs frustratedly at Regulus’s shirt as Regulus’s hips reach a tortuous, merciless pace. With the sweetest of smiles, Regulus pulls his shirt off, giving James a wide expanse of flushed, milky skin to run his hands over. 

‘Reggie,’ he warns, low and shaky, ‘keep it up and I’m going to finish in my pants before we get a chance to actually do anything.’ 

Regulus leans back, hands gripping James’s thighs, fingers scratching at the fabric of his trousers. ‘Are you wearing make up?’ he demands at first, then quickly changes his phrasing. Because it’s not a question. He knows James’s hair, James’s eyes, James’s cheeks and lips and colouring intimately. 

And, oh…oh, is that it?

‘You’re wearing make up,’ Regulus says.

Regulus takes James by the chin, tips his head to the left, to the right. With a quizzical expression, he drags his thumb over James’s lips, a pink nude colour, Sirius had informed him. His lips are sticky, James knows, and he can tell that Regulus isn’t so sure about that part. That Regulus has been weighing the pros and cons of kissing him.

That being said, Regulus does appear to be quite the fan of the other parts. 

‘Careful, dear,’ James says between laboured breaths. ‘You’ll smudge me.’

Regulus just frowns and leans back again, swivelling his hips, eliciting a chesty groan of, ‘ohshitohshit,’ from James. Regulus’s expression darkens, his movements pooling straight through James so he’s that much closer to teetering on the edge of his orgasm.

And then where would they be? Because ever since Regulus had walked through the door and all but tackled him onto the couch, James has known exactly what he wants, and that’s to get Regulus naked and to worship his magnificent body. But what James also always wants is to give Regulus what he wants, and what Regulus really seems to want right now is to pry an orgasm directly from the depths of James’s soul with how very into James he currently seems.

And James can never not give Regulus what he wants, so here lies James: conflicted

When Regulus plants his hands on James’s shoulders and rocks again, James hastily rushes out, ‘Fuck, Reggie, stopstopstop, just wait.’

Regulus diligently stops. Waits. He shuffles backwards so he’s no longer seated directly on top of James’s achingly hard erection, and then has the audacity to give James the sweetest, most innocent of smiles that James can’t help but smile back. James closes his eyes, because looking at Regulus all flushed and incredibly turned on and slightly mussed and shirtless is doing nothing to stem the pleasureblissarousaldesire rushing through his veins. 

‘Just give me a moment,’ James says, breath heaving, heart racing marathons in his chest.

‘Then we continue.’

‘Yes, then we continue.’ James groans, has to grab Regulus’s hands, which have started to trace a pathway to the waistband of his pants, and warns, ‘Don’t touch me if you want to continue. Don’t even look at me.’

Regulus laughs quietly. ‘I like the make up,’ he leans over and whispers by James’s ear. ‘You should wear it more often. You look so lovely.’ To his credit, he’s being careful not to touch James, hovering over him, James left feeling somewhat bereft, but…fuck.

James moans, grips the couch cushion beneath him, hips jerking up into the air. Regulus’s words have hit James straight in the groin, and he shudders, twitches. Feels the energy of Regulus’s words like static, electric, a buzz in the air, on his skin.

‘You’re so pretty like this, Jamie, so beautiful,’ Regulus whispers by James’s ear, his breath warm, ghosting against James’s skin. ‘Did you do it for me, Jamie? You did, didn’t you. You’re so good like that. So good for me. I love you like this.’

James whines, teetering now. Teetering so close, and when Regulus finishes with a quiet, ‘I love you,’ James’s eyes roll back and he’s seeing stars, seeing white, the full force of his orgasm hitting him so intensely that he is lost to the world for a moment. 

When James comes to, Regulus is kissing him. Regulus pulls back, brushes James’s hair from his forehead, studying him with an expression so enamoured that James’s heart flutters in his chest. Distantly, James thinks that Regulus may be right. And that maybe make-up should come with some sort of warning label.

‘I love you too,’ James murmurs drowsily as Regulus lays down, humming, so they’re chest-to-chest. ‘Just give me ten minutes to recover and I’ll get you back.’

[strawbeerossi]

All Hallows Eve

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid x Derek Morgan x Luke Alvez

Description: You and your three very attractive coworkers get to talking about sex and kinks whenever you are left alone at David’s Halloween party.

Content/Warnings: Alcohol mention/consumption, kink discussion, just a pinch of peer pressure when it comes to Spencer opening up, some germaphobic mentions, MMMF foursome, oral (f + m rec), face fucking, anal fingering (f rec) , double penetration, cum play (various types including: creampie and cum swapping), unprotected sex, some nice Spencer aftercare.

Word Count: 5.6K

Kinktober Day Thirty One: Foursome

Navigation || Kinktober Masterlist || AO3

This one is fucking filthy. Thank you all for coming on this Kinktober adventure with me!

Halloween parties were typically held at Dave’s house. It just made sense considering how big the place was and the amount of space he had not only in the house but also in the backyard. Besides, David Rossi would never turn down hosting a party at his place. He enjoyed throwing any kind of event right in his own backyard. That also meant a few extra guest rooms for the wasted adults that would be at said event.

It was Halloween night, everyone gathered at their coworker’s house and settled in the backyard, enjoying the heat of a fire that the guys had all set up. JJ and Matt were absent, spending the night at home with their children to celebrate the spookiest holiday of the year. Drinks were flowing, Spencer even partaking in just one drink for the night as opposed to his normal sober status, allowing himself to join in the festivity that he was normally left out of. However, he could argue that he liked being sober on nights like this. There was always something comical about someone in the team getting inebriated to the point that they act like an absolute menace to society.

Thankfully, tonight wasn’t too bad. Despite Emily and Penelope indulging in the liquor that their host never seemed to run out of. It had gotten to a point later that night where you had to wrestle both women into bed in one of the many guest rooms already set up for the adults staying over. You’d managed to get the two plastered women settled into bed — Mainly because you laid horizontally over both of their bodies to keep them in place. It took about twenty minutes, however it wasn’t long until you’d heard the soft snores of Emily while Penelope was sleeping soundly while snuggled up under the sheets.

You had to lay there for a moment to collect yourself before pushing yourself out of bed, heading out of the room while gently pulling the door shut. Last thing you needed was to make too much racket and have to chase those two around again. “I feel like you all owe me for that.” You commented as you’d pulled open the back door, Spencer’s head lifting up from a book in his hand. “Better you than us.” He commented, which had the other men outside laughing. “Rossi turned in early. It’s just us.” Luke informed you, the absence of Dave being noticed. “Fun. What are you three doing?” You asked, heading to the chair closest to Spencer as you were sitting down.

“Nothing really. Derek and I were just talking while Spencer is too interested in,” Luke paused and leaned over the table to inspect the book cover. “Quantum Physics..” He crinkled his nose. There was never a dull book choice with Spencer, that was for sure. “Most guys would probably be talking about their sexual experiences by now. But our lovely Spencer Reid is reading about physics.” You teased, all in good fun as you teased the male sitting beside you.

“I prefer not to talk about sexual experiences.”

“Because he hasn’t had any.”

“Derek!”

The table had erupted into laughter minus Spencer who had the look of a kicked puppy. “I’ve had sex before.” He grumbled while putting his face back in his book. “You have? Really?” You asked while letting your eyebrow raise. “Why is that a surprise?!” He asked, suddenly taking offense as he was closing the book. “No! I’m not saying it’s a surprise but you just don’t look like the type!”

“How does one look like a virgin?” He quizzed you, hazel eyes narrowed as he stared at you, head tilted to the side slightly. He had you there. What were you supposed to say? You cleared your throat as you lifted up your nearly forgotten glass of wine, swirling the red liquid around the glass. “I’m not sure how to answer that.” You admitted, making the genius smile triumphantly. “Exactly. You don’t know.”

“Okay, Casanova. Tell us about it.” Derek was intrigued as he leaned against the table. Spencer wasn’t one to share his personal life as often, so maybe that one drink he had in the night could’ve loosened him up even just a little bit to talk about it. “What?” The curly headed male squeaked, now looking between the three of you as you all seemingly waited patiently for a story.

“I’ve had sex more than once.” He huffed.

“Okay. So pick a good experience to tell us about then.” Luke chuckled as he raised an eyebrow, elbows propped up on the table.

With pursed lips, Spencer was crossing his arms. “I have to?” He asked while you nodded. “Oh yeah, you definitely have to. You’ve got some secrets that we need to know right now.” You giggle. Even with his apprehension, the brunette took in a breath. “Okay.. I guess I could share it. I mean, I have been wanting to get out of my comfort zone so maybe this will be good?” You highly doubted that he’d jump from being nervous like this to being able to talk about sex explicitly. It would take him a bit.

“Come on, pretty boy. I'm bored to death.” Derek sighed dramatically while you were punching his shoulder with a loud, “Shush!!”

“You remember Max, I’m sure.” Which yes, everyone did. His short-term girlfriend who had her family taken hostage a while ago. “We do, go on.” You urged him on, arms crossed on the table top. “I think you’re a little too into this,” Luke commented, the commentary being met with a swift kick to his leg under the table.

“I really don’t know how to describe it? Like, sex is sex, right?”

“Any interesting kinks? Come on, kid. We know you aren’t as innocent as you think you are.”

“Interesting? Not really. I mean, I am a fan of face sitting but I think that is standard, right?” The words escaping his mouth had Spencer’s face bright red as he leaned back against the chair behind him. There were wolf whistles at the admission. “Doesn’t matter if it’s standard or not.” Luke chuckled while holding his glass up as if he were toasting to him while chuckling.

“Well, what’s not considered normal?” Now Spencer was curious as he looked between the three of you. He wasn’t a big kinkster, as anyone would imagine. The question had you, Derek and Luke exchanging looks. “Well. Mixopholia isn’t common, I don’t think. Which that’s enjoying watching yourself have sex. Could be in front of a mirror, recording it, anything like that. It can be really fun, in all honesty. Especially if you record and play it back.” You responded, only raising an eyebrow at the gaped mouths of your male coworkers. “What? You’ve never done that? Derek, come on. You can’t lie.”

“No, mama. I never had that idea.” He chuckled while shaking his head. “It’s good to know now, I’m gonna need to try it.” He added while Luke was too busy thinking of things he liked. “It’s probably not abnormal but I really like thighs. I feel like that would be the body part I’m most obsessed with, especially when it comes to thigh fucking. It can be better than penetration.” He hummed. Which, they were pretty standard things to be sexually aroused by, even if Spencer would’ve never thought of the two ideas.

“I think I like group sex. I don’t have it a lot, however it can be pretty great when you have the right group. I know it’s nonconventional. I’ve had all sorts of sex but I think I’ll always go back to that.” Derek spoke up while shrugging his shoulders. “A group?? Do you know many germs are exchanged in encounters like that?” Spencer asked, dumbfounded while the man in front of him waved him off. “It’s a good time. If you don’t believe it, then I highly suggest you at least try it before denying,” He chuckled.

Judging by Spencer’s look of morbid curiosity, he was considering it. “How does one even do that? I feel like you need to have connections..” Was Spencer really considering it? “You just have to find people you’re comfortable with.” Derek shrugged while tapping his hand against the table. There were a few moments of silence while Spencer’s brain was working overtime, you could swear smoke was coming out of his ears.

“I trust all of you.”

The words had your throat running dry. “Is that supposed to be an invitation?” You asked, your own curiosity shining through. You’d always considered Derek, Luke and Spencer as attractive, however you never considered having sex with all three of them. You had to admit, you really did enjoy the idea of getting passed around by some of the most attractive men on the team. The idea was enough to cause goosebumps to spread across your body. Surely it would be a bad idea to have sex with a coworker, much less three of them.

Spencer’s face was bright red as he put his hands up in self defense. “You don’t have to say yes but I would say that I wouldn’t mind sharing.. Germs..? With you guys.” He shrugged while shyly looking away. What a compliment from Spencer Walter Reid. The man who wouldn’t even give handshakes was willing to throw away his typical formula for three coworkers. “I am just saying!” He rambled on, now feeling self conscious at his admission.

“Now hold on. I think this idea could be beneficial.” Luke spoke up while chuckling. “I mean. We are all grown ups, right?” Your head nodded immediately after Luke put in his own two cents. “I agree with Luke. I mean, where’s the harm?! We are all friends anyway, I couldn’t imagine this being awkward for us.” Realistically, there were many issues with the idea of having sex with coworkers. You didn’t even care about them right now.

“Are you guys serious?” Derek asked, wide eyes from shock. “Why not? You mean to tell me that you’re gonna pass up sex?” You asked curiously while raising an eyebrow. “Well, no. I just.. Damn, I didn’t know tonight would end like this, that’s all.” He explained, being so flabbergasted at the idea of a foursome with his coworkers. “Might I suggest we move inside? I mean, the last thing we need is Rossi looking out the window and seeing us out here.” Luke began while nodding towards the window overlooking the backyard.

So, you did.

You had never been this excited before, your body buzzing with arousal and excitement. This was a sexual bucket list type thing for you, not something you could imagine doing regularly. Plus, having it be with Derek, Spencer and Luke just made it twenty times better. The minute you were closed in the guest room furthest from everyone else in the house, there was a bit of awkwardness as the four of you looked between each other. How does somebody kick something like this off? With strangers, it would be different but you all worked together.

This was a lot harder to start than you thought it would be.

“How about we ease ourselves into this?” Derek suggested, now looking between the other three people in the room. “Why don’t you give us a show?” He hummed while looking in your direction, your face flushed. “Like a strip tease?” The nod of his head solidified your suspicions, your head nodding as you watched the three men sit on the edge of the bed to face you. The intense gaze of three men was intimidating as all hell, especially when they had the look of hunger and desire burning holes through your skin.

Your movements were slow as you pushed the Halloween sweater up your body, tugging it over your head before tossing it somewhere else in the room. You hadn’t planned for this so you couldn’t get too dressed up, however the Halloween themed bra and panty set was cute and got the job done. Next was your leggings, which were slowly being pushed down your thighs as you were revealing the thin panties, a nice wet patch darkening the cotton. You liked this attention. You liked the idea of being ravished by three men who wanted to use you for their own pleasure.

It was exhilarating.

“Come here.” Derek was the first to speak up, his finger making a gesture to get you to come closer. You obliged, only letting out a squeak of surprise when you were being tugged in the man’s lap. You could feel the bulge in his pants pressed against your ass, brain clouded with arousal as you were letting your arms wrap around Derek’s shoulders. His hands were gripping your ass, eyes scanning over your body as he let out a low groan. There were no words exchanged, the man mesmerized by your nearly fully exposed body, his hands running up your hips before cupping your clothed breasts.

You let his hands continue to caress and explore every inch of skin, face hot as you were rocking your hips against his strained cock in his jeans. “You like this, don’t you? Like the attention of your friends and coworkers?” He questioned while an eyebrow raised, your head nodding as you let out a shaky breath from the friction of his jeans against your clothed clit, the roughness of his pants felt like heaven through the thin fabric of your underwear. “Who knew you’d be a whore? You want us to record this? Give you something to look back on whenever that little pussy of yours is desperate to be stuffed?” The words elicited a moan, your head nodding. “Fuck. Yeah.” You whined.

Luke was the one who was getting his phone, setting up the device on a lamp on the bedside table to get a clear view of the bed. You were caught off guard though when you were quickly pushed to the mattress, your back hitting the smooth sheets. Using your elbows to prop yourself up, you watched as Derek was patting Spencer’s shoulder. The brunette was already overwhelmed seeing you in your underwear, his face bright red as he could feel the tight constriction of his boxers around his cock.

“Go on, kid. You wanted to try this, didn’t you? Only fair you get to go first.” Derek commented while nodding his head to urge him on. The awkward male was clearing his throat as he was approaching the bed, your legs wrapping around his waist to welcome him as your hands then gripped his arm, gently tugging his lanky frame closer to you as you let your lips press against his. The sudden action had him taken aback, however the shock wore off rather quickly as his lips slotted with your own.

It was calm at first, until the desperation set in as the male above you. That was when the kids had grown messy, your fingers tangled in his brunette curls as his hips were grinding against you. Spencer would be the first to say that he was going to drink in the moment, to enjoy this while you allowed him to touch you in any way he pleased. It was no secret that the awkward, shy genius had a small crush on you, his behavior making it apparent more often than he realized. That was why he was taking his time, his tongue in your mouth as the germaphobe was surprising himself with his loss of apprehension to swap spit with you.

Much to both of your dismay, he was pulling out of the kiss. He made up for it though as his hands were coming up to cup your bra-clad breasts. A low groan left his lips as he kneaded at your soft, plush tits. One hand was slipping under you, his fingers quickly unclasping the article of clothing in his way and throwing it off to the side. He groaned, eyes fixated on your bare breasts. “You’re so pretty.” His voice came out in a pitiful whine, head dipping down to take your right nipple in his mouth.

The warmth of his tongue swiping over your hardened nub had your eyes fluttering shut, the man sucking and nipping at your sensitive nipple while his other hand was working to massage your other breast, nipple rolling between his fingers to give it the equal attention that it deserved. As he’d done his best to alternate, it wasn’t long until your chest was glistening with the remanent spit from his attack on your tits.

With his hungry eyes trailing down your body now, he was leaning down to press a few warm and wet open mouthed kisses down your stomach. Your fingers were quick to tangle in his soft brunette curls, head tilting back as his tongue trailed slowly down your stomach, nipping at your skin to leave a nice and big purple mark on your hip. The other men in the room had not been forgotten about however, your head tilting to the side to look at both Luke and Derek, the two men watching the scene play out in front of them, eyes blown out with lust and desire.

In a way, you felt like a gazelle in the presence of three starving lions, one already making his pounce onto you while the other two had calculated plans of their own. Spencer was blowing cool air on your glistening pussy, a satisfied hum leaving his lips as you clenched around nothing from sheer desperation. “Hold on,” Luke spoke up, his silence being short lived as Spencer was letting out a whine from his spot between your thighs. You didn’t expect Spencer to actually listen, however you weren’t able to question it as the other male was approaching the bed. “I have an idea. No need to get all teary eyed, Reid.” He spoke with a chuckle, the male between your thighs huffing as he backed away momentarily in order for Luke to throw you into a position.

The stark contrast between Spencer and Luke was something you were gracious for. The genius had a since of desperation, everything about him screaming that he wanted to drink in your essence and bask in the warmth coursing through his veins. The other had a clear motive in mind, the confidence to pick you up and move you into a position that he wanted you to be in. Both so different and yet so alike in the fashion of your thighs being sticky with your own arousal. With your body being turned horizontal, your head was now hanging off the bed which left very little to the imagination of what was coming next.

What you weren’t expecting though was Luke to nudge Spencer to the side when he was between your legs again, your left leg hanging off Spencer’s shoulder while your right was hanging off Luke’s. “Let’s put your germaphobia to the test.” Alvez just had to tease Spencer, a chuckle leaving his lips as he was leaning closer to your aching core. His tongue licked a fat stripe up your slit, a soft breath falling from your lips. You’d never thought of two men licking your pussy at once but the idea of it had butterflies going crazy in your belly.

Spencer was hesitant, looking at the spit mixed with your arousal. Before he could talk himself out of this idea and hide in the corner, he was leaning forward to lick the same spot the other man did. The comfortability was soon setting in as Spencer let his tongue flick over your clit, a sharp breath leaving your lips as you let a hand tangle in the mop of curls. Whenever the male began to suck and toy with your clit, Luke was bringing a hand to his mouth as he sucked at his fingers, eventually getting them settled at your entrance before pushing one of the digits inside of your desperate cunt, eliciting a moan as your head tilted back, still hanging over the edge of the bed.

As the two men between your legs alternated between licking at your weeping pussy or fingering you, Derek got a little bored of watching. While your head was tossed back, eyes fluttered shut as both skilled tongues were licking and sucking at your sensitive center, Derek worked on unbuttoning his pants as he approached where your head was hanging off the bed. “Alright, pretty girl. We are gonna put that mouth to good use.” He spoke, voice low and husky as he was retrieving his hard cock out of his pants.

Your mouth was practically watering as you took in the sight of the leaking tip of his cock, the shaft glistening from the beads of precum that were dripping from his slit. There was a lot going through your mind, however your body worked as if it was going off muscle memory.

As your desperate pussy clenched around someone’s fingers, your mouth was falling open to give the male above you the access that he needed. “That’s what I thought. Who would’ve known that you’d be such a whore?” He asked, an eyebrow raising as his hand tugged at his cock, slipping his cock past the threshold of your lips while his hand was running over your chest.

You were on cloud nine, even through the gagging on your coworkers cock to the point tears were brimming your eyes. There was a lot going on, so much that you couldn’t focus on everything at once. That was what prompted Derek to take control. With his body leaning at a certain angle, he didn’t hesitate before thrusting into your mouth to elicit a moan as your eyes were screwed shut.

The thrusts were rough and precise, the male abusing your throat and surely rubbing it raw as he used your mouth like a fleshlight. “She’s gonna cum. Do we let her do it, doc?” Luke’s voice spoke up, your pussy clenching tight around his fingers as your walls fluttered around the three fingers pistoning in your swollen, desperate cunt. Spencer was all for it, pulling off of your throbbing clit with a ‘pop’. “I think she’s been good enough to deserve it.” He confirmed, watching as Luke pulled his fingers out of your pussy, eliciting a whine from your lips being muffled around Derek’s cock. Luke was gripping the back of Spencer’s hair, catching the man by surprise.

The next movements were quick, Spencer having his face pushed into your pussy once more while Luke kept an eye on your mannerisms. With Spencer licking and sucking at your sweetness and Luke practically jerking his head in different ways to take control himself, it wasn’t long until your legs were shaking. With your orgasm building and Spencer sensing you were close, he didn’t need Luke's guidance to push his face further in your warmth, the sinful sounds of slurping and sucking filling the room.

“Fuck. Cum on his tongue, make a mess of his face.” Derek growled as he glanced down at you, his cock twitching in your mouth. Whenever you were hitting your orgasm, the man fucking your throat followed right behind. You did your best to swallow what you could, however he was tapping your cheek after his cock was pulled from the warmth of your mouth.

“Hold on, keep some of it.” He spoke, which had you nodding slowly as you pushed yourself to sit up while glancing at the men between your legs. “Why don’t you share with Spencer?” He asked, arms crossed as Spencer looked at the man with wide eyes. “Huh?!” you were following the instruction, your hands cupping Spencer’s cheeks before you were pressing your lips against his. In the process of the male getting comfortable enough with the idea, you were pushing the remnants of Derek’s cum into the brunette’s mouth, slowly pulling out of the kiss while wiping the corner of your mouth with your thumb.

Spencer wasn’t really fond of it, however he knew this was for the sake of experimentation and he wouldn’t have to do it again. Luke was the first one to stand up as he worked on getting his clothes off, not being able to stand being fully clothed and constricted any longer. “Come here.” He mumbled, now moving to sit on the edge of the bed while tugging your body into his lap, his cock against your wet cunt as you weren’t hesitating to roll your hips slowly. “Fuck.” You breathed, feeling the hardness of his cock slotting between your slick pussy lips as you were grinding against his lap.

“That’s right.” Luke purred while his hands were reaching behind to grip your ass, a soft hum leaving his lips as he squeezed the plushy skin into his hands with a bruising grip. With one of your hands reaching between the both of you, you were positioning the bulbous tip with your leaking hole, you were sucking in a breath as you were slowly sinking down on his hard cock. Much like Derek’s, Luke had a good amount of length and girth, his fat cock stretching out your walls with a pleasurable burn.

His hands were gently guiding your hips, starting the process of working out what was most pleasurable for the both of you. The movements were slow, your hands holding his shoulders in order to brace yourself as you surrendered control to Luke for the time being. “Ah!” You squeaked, a certain angle making him hit the perfect spot. “There it is.” He smirked, the next thrust being a rough snap of his hips that had your body bouncing in his lap, a drawn out moan falling from your lips. Your hands rested gently against his broad chest, nudging him to lay back as you got into a more comfortable position. With your hair falling over your shoulder, your head was tilting forward as your hips were rocking at a steady pace while the large hands were now moving up your torso to fondle your breasts in his hands. While his fingers pinched and stimulated your sensitive nipples, you were reduced to a whining mess as your hips picked up their pace in sloppy movements.

The sensitivity from your previous orgasm had you feeling overwhelmed, just the feel of every ridge and curve of Luke’s cock had your body with satisfaction. Of course, he had learned your tell when it came to you about to cum, the way your greedy pussy tried pulling more of his cock even though he gave you everything you could take. Right whenever your second orgasm was in your sights though, you were stopped. The firm grip on your hips weren’t Luke’s, no, they were Derek’s. He’d managed to get on the bed behind you at some point. “I feel like Spencer has been completely neglected.” He tsked, his head shaking. “I think I know how you can make it up to him though.” He mused.

You were confused and deprived of an orgasm, a whine leaning your lips as you were pushed forward, your bare chest smashed against Luke’s as your ass was in the air, giving the other two men a tasteful view of your pussy stuffed with Luke’s cock. Derek took initiative, reaching around your body as he was pushing three fingers into your mouth. You weren’t really aware of what the game plan was, however you were happy to suck and lube up his fingers for whatever he had planned. With one lubed up digit tracing the ring of your other hole, you were letting out a gasp of surprise. “Think you can handle it?” Derek asked.

It was the bare minimum, however you appreciated the search for consent before he went any further. “I-I think so? What’s the harm in trying?” You were pushing your ass back against Derek’s fingers more, anticipating how this was going to go. You’d experimented plenty, however you’d never thought to try anal. With everyone trying all sorts of new things tonight, you figured it would be fun.

You were holding tightly to Luke’s arms whenever the other man’s finger was gently pushing into your ring of muscle, a few tears being wiped away from his hand as he helped soothe you from the foreign intrusion. “Doing such a good job.” Derek’s voice spoke up, Spencer’s gaze being all too fixated on the way his finger was being tightly gripped. It made his cock twitch in his pants, his hands working to quickly get them off for after Derek got you fully prepared.

One finger turned to two, then two turned to three. You wouldn’t lie, you never expected to like the aspect of anal sex this much. Especially while being stuffed full of cock in one hole and getting fingers in another. It made you feel like a cock hungry whore, something that had your pussy clenching tight around Luke’s cock.

When you were considered prepared enough, Derek’s fingers were gently being pulled out of your hole. “Alright, Reid. Go for it. Think she’s ready to have both of her holes stuffed.” He chuckled, watching the brunette quickly getting on his knees on the mattress behind you when Derek moved. “You’re sure this is okay?” His voice was shaky as he asked the question, his dick throbbing from being neglected for the past few activities. “It’s okay. Please.” Your voice was in the form of a whine, feeling a whole new level of intoxication as soon as his slick tip was coming into contact with your asshole.

Spencer was groaning as he watched the way the hole was embracing the tip of his cock, his head tilting forward to send a string of spit to your desperate asshole. It was an action you hardly expected but you were embracing it as soon as you felt his cock pushing into you, a cry leaving your lips as a pool of drool was falling from the corner of your mouth and on Luke’s chest. This was too much, however you didn’t want it to end.

The two men had to come to an agreement, setting a pace where they wouldn’t rip you in half. Spencer’s large hands were gripping tight to your hips, nails digging into your flesh and surely leaving crescent indents in your soft skin. That was when Derek was retrieving the phone on the bedside table, approaching the bed as he played cameraman. “Look at her taking two cocks at the same time. Can you believe how much of a whore she is?” His voice was cold, yet not enough to be outright hurtful.

As Spencer was thrusting, your body was moving slightly as you were pretty much reduced to a little fuck doll that both Luke and Spencer were using for their own gratification. Your body was reduced to a pile of malleable clay in their hands, both men working out a system where they could reduce you to a crying and whining mess. You knew you wouldn’t last much longer, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you were whining and moaning with each rough thrust. “You look like an angel. So pretty when you’re fucked out.” Derek cooed, the phone being moved to reveal your wet chin from drool, your eyes glossed over from the tears from overstimulation, even the way you laid all your weight on Luke’s chest as you were reaching your orgasm, walls clamping down onto the male’s cock.

There were a few more thrusts from Luke before you could feel a fish of warmth, his cum filling your spent pussy as you were shivering from the sensation. Spencer was the next one to reach his orgasm, spilling his seed into your tight hole as he was letting out a guttural groan. It was something that didn’t even sound like Spencer. You were so blissed out that you didn’t even remember whenever Luke gently lifted you off or his softening dick, laying you back on the mattress while your head was resting against the fluffy pillow that Spencer propped it up with.

“We should get you cleaned up.” Spencer cooed, his hands moving to gently rub your inner thighs to help relax your aching muscles from the new position you were just put into. Derek was nodding as he was getting himself dressed again. “We can run her a bath and help her get cleaned up. The bathroom is just next door.”

Spencer was the one to head out, reaching the bathroom and getting the bathtub ready with some bubble bath he found in one of the bathroom cabinets. Derek and Luke were both helping you stand and walking with you to the bathroom since you were still quite out of it. “Do you want all of us to stay here with you?” Luke asked while lowering you into the water once your bath was ready. For the first time in ten minutes, you were looking up at the three men with the same fucked out look in your eyes. “Spencer.” You whined gently, while the other two men were patting the brunette’s back before heading out of the bathroom to get the room cleaned up.

“Get in.” You slurred, the man not having to be told twice as he was stripping himself down once more and gently lifting you in order to get into the water before letting you lean back against his chest. “Thank you.” You yawned, feeling the warmth of his hands as he was massaging your body to help relax you even further. “You don’t have to thank me, silly. I’m here to help.” He assured you while pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Good. Hopefully we can relive this night in the future. Just the two of us.”

[dear-ao3]

hi. you did not ask for it but i feel inclined to share with you some bits and pieces of indycar lore.

-georgina. georgina is a mannequin that hangs on a bridge at barber motorsports park, one of the tracks we race at, during the 2024 race there she fell down in the middle of the race and onto the track, a driver ran her wrist over and shredded it, the safety team loaded her up into the back of their truck, and later the driver who hit her (scott mclaughlin) posted a photo of him holding her hand up.

-will power ‘double birds’. it’s self explanatory, will power is a menace in the purest form of the word, and he is NOT afraid to flip off fellow drivers or, most famously, race control.

-the firestone firehawk, aka murderhawk. highly loved by fans and drivers, the mascot for firestone tires (which is what indycar uses) who is always at indycar races, frequently seen looming ominously around whoever they can get their hands on, hence the nickname murderhawk.

-bus bros. cannot even begin to explain the depths of lore here but im sure someone would be happy to. once a youtube series and friendship between drivers and teammates scott mclaughlin and josef newgarden (highly recommend watching the videos, very funny) it ended rather abruptly after rumors about their demise had been circulating, teammates who once hugged after every race win won’t even sit beside each other anymore.

-the AMR safety team. that’s all. they are amazing and we love them, SO fast and incredible, if nobody got me ik the AMR safety team got me!

-santino ferrucci. we all hate the guy, hes an absolute asshole, homophobic, racist, etc. most recently he put hands on a driver and then called said driver’s teammate his ‘little boyfriend teammate’. there’s a video of it on indycar’s youtube channel called ‘tempers flare between santino ferrucci and kyle kirkwood’ if you’re curious.

-arrow mclaren curse. this team is just… something.. their drivers have good personalities, but oh my! is the team itself horrifying! and this year we had 4(?) 5(?) drivers that all had the same seat! obviously at different times but it was Scary.

-we all love the month of may. the indy 500 is held in may, which brings a whole month of celebration and racing, from the indy gp, to parades to practice to qualifying to so many other events to the 500 itself, it’s an amazing month full of so much energy i cannot even begin to describe.

-bus lot pranks. speaking of the indy 500, during may, the drivers live in a bus lot at IMS, in their fancy RV’s, it’s like a frat house, which obviously leads to pranks, my personal favorite is when they filled conor daly’s hot tub with orbeez.

-it’s also important to note that indycar is small, the community is small, the drivers frequently interact with fans both in person and online, which is great! but it also means watch what you say because there’s a very high chance a driver will see it, our series is welcoming and non toxic! we want to keep it that way. 

-david’s bike. david malukas signed for arrow mclaren, but never actually got to race for them because he broke his wrist biking. he frequently makes jokes about it as he is very chronically online. he is also dubbed lil dave, that has nothing to do with his bike i just thought it was important.

-the milk gimp.. an absolutely terrifying indy 500 ad from 2014.

-the hate cauldron. back in 2022 three andretti drivers all made contact with each other during a race, which led to chaos, thus the birth of the hate cauldron, theres a video of it on here somewhere, and also when it was reborn this year!

doesn’t even scratch the surface, i’m just running out of brain power here, also a team got raided by the fbi this year.

oh and indycar’s youtube channel has tons of full races posted, they’re currently uploading the ones from this year, i recommend watching the 2016 indy 500, and i’m sure people would be happy to share their fav races to watch !!

by george. thats a lot of fun facts. thank you very very much send as many as u want (again pointing you to @ainti-pretty to send any and all fun facts)🫶💞 particularly enraptured by the bike saga (is david...still in indycar? did he just get launched off the face of the earth except to meme on twitter?) and the bus bros drama. seems bonkers. also to clarify your social media point.........do you mean on like twitter/instagram. or have they infiltrated tumblr. thank u bestie 🫶💞

[mellosdrawings]

didnt know who to confess this to so uh MELLO I CHOOSE YOU

why the goblin king from Labyrinth kinda...👀

(yes goblin king jareth played by David Bowie sue me I had damsel in distress fantasies as a young human✋😮‍💨)

anyway would I be an absolute menace for making a twst OC off of him? Cuz technically disney bought the rights...

*pokemon voice* Mello mello!

Mello uses Art attack!

Hm~ yes, the sexy gingerman~ Please do a Twisted OC based on him, make him the sluttiest sword bisexual king please. I'd LOVE to see that, please warn me if you ever do it!

[thenightshadowqueen]

SFTH moments that live rent-free in my head, part 2 (in no particular order)

Because apparently I have more.

“Mmm, but I’m poison and you love it”

Creepy Jim 🏳️‍🌈

The hat-nose letter

“STOPINTHENAMEOFTHELAAAWWWW!!!”

Sam losing his fucking mind during the expert game in HUGE

“Mr. André Beetroot, you’re my hero!” “Ah, I don’t like you.”

Luke as the horny goblin

Tom’s whole speech as Locomotion—it was so fucking gorgeous and it’s in my head all the time (especially “I’m older than the devil, sir” and “I am the Silver Line and the Silver Line is me!”)

“Don’t let the constant mental breakdowns get you down.”

The bit in the Suspicious Crème Brûlée where Sam yanks Luke around by his hair

“AJ stays with Luke…” (I’m sorry in advance for getting this stuck in your head)

Luke taking his trousers off in Nigel (and then using that to get Tom to do it in My First Bra)

“Lovely little Luke Manning!”

AJ’s rap about Disney princesses (Worst thing I’ve ever seen. 10/10.)

Tom holding up a fucking buttplug during one of the COVID livestreams????? (Also I can’t for the life of me remember which one it was and if anyone knows that would be very appreciated because I’m half-convinced it was a fever dream)

“Gavin, obviously there’s a difference.” (I don’t know what it is, but the way Tom says it has captivated me)

The Jane Austen bit in West End Big Boys

“Grab her by the face and DON’T LET GO! Because sometimes they run away and LEAVE YOU!”

“I’m just a writer, and I like to ride bikes. I’m not weird, I’m not strange; I enjoy juices, and I have a good family.”

“When the wind doth blow/to and fro/you must get your shit together/and fuck up them hoes”

The kiss in the prom Timewarp, and especially the way AJ and Tom were cheering them on

Also the kiss in the “what not to do with your coworkers” video, because the way Luke throws three of his limbs in the air at once is glorious

“Husband! Husband!” “Oh, darling, you’ve been down in the basement—” “The chinchilla’s a FUCKING NAZI!”

Sam calling AJ “CrossFit Voldemort”

On that note, “He looked a little bit like Henry Cavill if he had a wasting disease” (and Tom’s little sassy head movement in response)

“You’re keeping me on tenterhooks, like a piece of sirloin.”

The scene Tom and Sam did for Tom’s anniversary

“The camper the German, the more likely they are to win.”

“You said it was water under the bridge.” “Aye, and you know what’s good at drowning people?”

Giggly Luke from Hornchurch

The booba looba (and AJ’s glorious reaction to it)

“Can I call you Tony?” “You can, but my name’s David.” (“So, Tony—”)

Jackson from the COVID livestreams (“Sit in the well-done corner and just shut up.”)

Sam’s fucking apocalypse plan (which is still in my head despite my best efforts)

“I just wanted to have the talk.” “The talk? The boob talk?” “The boob talk that all women must have with their mothers.”

The wife from the casino scene (it’s the accent)

“Do you need a lie-down?” “I thought I already was.”

“Larger than a man, smaller than a dream”

Moriarty-Sherlock mental fuck chess

“Capitalism is blood!” “CHANGE!” “Communism is yoghurt!”

Tom bring an absolute menace during Puppets

“God bless the British Transport Police” (said in the most ‘what am I doing with my life’ voice I’ve ever heard)

“Stay on your stool bitch boy”

“Get your hand out of my car”

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

today I've been reminded of detective comics annual 8, which is my favorite of ed's comic appearances, so I thought I'd ask you what's your favorite riddle guy comic and why?

god DC annual #8 makes me INSANE that's like. pure distilled Riddler sauce right there. absolute platonic ideal of the Riddler. he is perfect to me. somebody surgically wire that into Tom King's brain before they ever let him write the Riddler again I swear to god.

I'm still working on my New Earth read through so I'm finding new faves all the time, but as of this exact minute some faves:

I fucking hate to hand it to Chuck Dixon but Detective Comics #705-707 (Dixon, Graham Nolan, and David Roach, 1997) is so so good. like he's literally just trying to do a stupid baseball heist and blow up Cluemaster while he's at it. THAT is a Riddler story, babey. Echo and Query are even there!!!

Impulse #48 (Bill Messner-Loebs and Craig Rousseau, 1999) is just a spectacular one off Riddler appearance, namely because you get the strong impression that if left alone with Bart for like. two hours. Eddie would probably willingly kill himself. very fun watching his schtick absolutely crumble in the face of a speedster.

Batman Adventures Vol. 2 (worked on by like half a dozen different writers, 2003). honestly the BTAS version of the Riddler was never anything spectacular to me - he's fun, not a standout - but goddd he rules so hard in the sequel comics. he's (once again) retired and made legitimate money, so now he's so desperately bored he's harassing Batman with stupid non-crimes until Batman snaps and just starts using him as a private detective so he'll have something to do. mwah.

Batman Confidential #26-28 (Nunzio DeFilippis, Christina Weir, Kevin Nowlan, and José Luis García-López, 2009), which is collected as Batman: King Tut's Tomb. another banger story, it has everything I like. namely, the Riddler being so annoying that Batman lets him work a case with him and bitchy buddy comedy shenanigans ensue. and King Tut is there!

Dinner for Two (Ram V and Phil Hester) in Strange Love Adventures (2022) #1 is so... like they just went for it. they said fuck it the Riddler bisexual and spending his Valentine's Day making Batman hang out with him to complain about how he's lonely. make of that whatever you want.

Catwoman: Lonely City (Cliff Chiang, 2022). an older, widowed Riddleguy who's kicked his riddle habit (in addition to, apparently, a pretty brutal coke problem) and is settled in to running slightly more normal grifts with his adorable daughter Edelia. look at them. I have to show you this because I just like Chiang's art so so much, look at themmm

also obligatory shoutout to the Riddler appearance of all time, whichever issue of Bruce Wayne: Murderer?/Fugitive is the one where he's crashing at Stephanie Brown's house being a fucking menace and Black Canary kicks him out on his ass in five seconds flat while he's wearing a fluffy yellow bathrobe. and also kicks Cluemaster out of his own house for good measure.

[firenati0n]

"who was that?" - a crack-ridden 500 word ficlet for @jafffacakess and a silly little addition to my unhinged Sims fic where Henry discovers something...wicked on Alex's laptop. reading that before this will make this infinitely funnier i swear. paging @indestructibleheart bc this universe is your fault fr (thank you ily) and @softboynick for the inspo! thank you all! and especially thanks to @anchoredarchangel for fact-checking my mpreg, which i steadfastly ignored. :) ilyyy

warning: SIMS-RELATED MPREG!! because wickedwhims is a menace of a mod!!! just like. a sentence or two. nothing graphic. but it is There. sorry for the mpreg debut. it won't happen again i swear!!!!

Alex’s computer is noisier than ever, and it’s driving Henry up the bloody wall. 

“What deranged scenario have you cooked up in your game now?” Henry asks, fearing the answer but knowing the outcome. “It’s only ever this loud when they’re either having gravitationally impossible sex on an appliance, or you’re testing the limits of our furniture. Our Sims neighbors must despise us.”

Alex’s resulting expression is a bad omen. “I’m…messing with some controls in the mod.”

The minute Alex leaves to use the toilet, Henry rushes to Alex’s laptop, still open and whirring. He is not prepared for what he finds.

Sim Henry and Alex are cuddling on the couch and watching a movie, the fireplace crackling. A serene evening in, all things considered. 

Sim Henry is also, by Henry’s estimate, seven months pregnant. 

Henry hears a flush and quickly goes back to his seat; he absolutely cannot wait to hear how Alex talks himself out of this one. 

Alex settles back in, a bright smile on his face. Henry is, against all odds, in deep and embarrassing love with this man.  

“How’s our baby doing?” Henry asks. 

Alex beams. “Artie’s great, he’s a toddler now, getting along so well with David and the horse.” After Henry bought Alex the pet expansion pack, all bets were off. Suddenly, Alex wanted the Horse Ranch and Aliens too. How their Sims had horses in their brownstone backyard in the city...outside the bounds of human logic, but perfectly acceptable in the game.

“No, I meant our other baby,” Henry says, working overtime to keep his face neutral. 

Alex freezes. “What baby?”

“The baby I’m carrying. Who was that, hm?”

“That’s scientifically impossible and you know it.”

“Alex, Artie is literally a science baby. My sim, however, is currently in the third trimester.” None of these words are in the English language.

Alex squints at the screen. “Damn, whose pregnant husband is that?”

“Alex.”

Alex laughs, cracking under Henry’s stare. “Listen, I’m not sorry. One day you had morning sickness and the game told me you were pregnant, which I didn’t even know was fucking possible. If I had to guess, it was the upside down fridge sixty-nine, I run that shit constantly. What should we name her, you got any suggestions?”

“You’re telling me oral got me pregnant?”

“Are you seriously nitpicking the realism of male pregnancy to my face?” Alex barrels on. “How about Cat, as a nod to both your mother and my sister? That could be cute. Art and Cat!”

“Art and Cat,” Henry echoes. “Yes, I quite like that.”

“Perfect, Cat it is,” Alex says with a grin. 

“To recap,” Henry starts. “We have a toddler, a puppy, a newborn on the way, and a horse—”

“I don’t want to hear a single fucking word about Nutter Butter,” Alex interjects. “He completes our family.”

“Of course,” Henry says seriously. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He looks at Alex curiously. “How close am I to—”

“Labor? About thirteen minutes away.”

Henry pulls his chair around next to Alex. “Perfect.”

[skunkox]

Sam Missing Out? Nah.

I like to think back that after their part in the Quinn situation was done in over with and vacations started with the pack. A beach day episode if you will.

Sam kicks Darlin' out of the room to hang with the pack boys and their mates. Darlin is upset about it most of the morning. Slowly through the day, they're enjoying themselves more at the beach.

But what about Sam? He's in a dark Hotel room finishing up work he couldn't have gotten done with Darlin to distract him. He's a little bummed and bored. The mates ain't having that.

They're sending pictures and videos in a 4-person group chat of Darlin going ham in volleyball, napping, and being an absolute menace. All without Darlin' realizing.

He doesn't respond to the text until he has the group in sight. A simple "Thank you." Is all he's able to send out before his name is getting called and he's being bombarded by Darlin and Asher to settle an argument.

Little note. The argument was over who would win in tug of war. David and Asher vs. Milo and Darlin.

I kinda wanna draw some of these out, but watch me have zero ambition to do so.

[piltie-angel]

i am absolutely biased and projecting but plz hear me out on Philadelphian Angel because not only does Angel perfectly fit in with the chaos we wreck during every super bowl, the only thing better than a short tempered east coaster with an accent is TWO OF EM

See the Philly and Pittsburgh accents are much more subtle than Milo’s Brooklyn/Jersey accent. You can hide it until you have to say words like ‘water’ but Dahlia’s in California, and like any Philadelphian who’s lived outside of Philly, they know how to cover up even the words that usually give away our accents.

Angel meets Milo, instantly hears the accent. Angel has a choice to make. They can smile and make a mental note to start emphasizing their T’s or they resume a faux rivalry that has lasted GENERATIONS. A rivalry that has lasted so long it has its own wikipedia page: Philadelphia Eagles Vs New York Giants (also side note if u headcanon Milo as New Jersey rather than New York it still works cause northern New Jersey still root for the Giants lol)

And it doesn’t even matter if you don’t think either of them would be into football because, like, neither are half of us Philadelphians. I don’t watch because I like football, I watch so I can know when I can rub our win in their faces.

The first words Angel says to Milo?

“GO BIRDSSSSS 🦅”

And it makes perfect sense, what other city could be described as a menace. We don’t have a particularly high crime rate compared to New York, but we have a history of messing shit up just for the sake of it. Especially when it comes to the Eagles. When the Eagles won the super bowl in 2018, Eagles fans flipped a car.

No one was hurt, no one was violent, this was a celebratory car flip. For fun.

Philadelphias government grease our street lamps with gear oil every time the Eagles make it to the super bowl to stop us from climbing them and it never works.

And it starts out playful, but after their covert breach, once they learned that Milo was pack rather than just David’s coworkers/friend, it was ON. because the one secret we have is that the more we love the person the more fun it is to fight with them on this. (And it literally took until me writing this to realize my two closest friends are both from different parts of New York City skdjdhsj)

And also it starts out small but when super bowl season comes around??? Angel starts showing up to pack events in an Eagles jersey and jeans, because every Philadelphian owns a jersey. (I don’t even live in Pennsylvania anymore but I still wear my Barkley jersey at least once a week,saquon barkley please marry me), I could go on and on but long story short, I think when David found his mate, Milo found his lifelong nemesis ❤️

Also I love the idea of the pack finding all the worst words we say, like 'water' and 'orange' and Angel being embarrassed but also big bonding moment and David loves seeing them so welcomed into his pack.

That's basically all I got but here are some funny philly things that I think Angel would do:

Uses "D'Jeet?", which is our crumpled up way of saying"Did you eat yet?"

Goes wild for Philadelphian Water Ice and emphasizes how we pronounce it as ‘wooder' just to annoy Milo.

CHEESESTEAK WIT WHIZ AND ONIONS 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Milo and Angel bonding over them both calling ATMs ‘The MAC’

[ofmdrecaps]

10/31/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR: Taika Waititi; Samba Schutte; Nat Torres; Kristian Nairn; Linds Cantrell; Dominic Burgess; Vico Ortiz; Fan Spotlight: Our Flag Means Fanfiction New Show; Halloween; Adopt Our Crew OFMD Themed Spooky Season Prompts; Love Notes;

Alrighty lovelies. So this edition is a lot later than it should be because I wanted to get permission from fans to include their absolutely beautiful work! Thank you to everyone who allowed me to share-- and please oh please if you'd like to share yours I'd love to see more of your beautiful creations-- from costumes to pumpkins for Halloween!

PS: Happy Boop Day to all who celebrated here on Tumblr!

= Taika Waititi =

Well, Taika and Rita really did steal the halloween show, I tell ya. Look at these awesome Legend of Zorro costumes!

Source: Getty Images

Source: Rita's Instagram

= Samba Schutte =

Samba and family went for something out of this world for Halloween!

Source: Samba Schutte's Instagram

= Nat Torres =

Nat asked a very important question on Halloween!

Source: Nat Torres Instagram

= Kristian Nairn =

Hey! Did you know Kristian did an interview with Instinct Magazine ?

= Lindsey Cantrell =

Our darling set decorator went as Selena Gomez from Only Murders In The Building (another show Lindsey worked on!)

Sounce: Linds' Instagram

= Dominic Burgess =

Happy Halloween from Jeffrey Fettering! He gets to dress up in all the cool costumes year round!

Source: Dominic's Twitter!

= Vico Ortiz =

Vico's put up more OFMD BTS for S2 on their Patreon! Some sneaky previews below! Vico's Patreon.

Source: Vico's Patreon

Source: Vico's Patreon

== Netflix Requests! ==

Your daily reminder from our dear crewmate aproperpirate to put in those netflix requests! https://help.netflix.com/en/titlerequest

Source: A proper pirate on Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Our Flag Means Fanfiction =

While not specifically OFMD related-- it's brought to you by Our Flag Means Fanfiction and it's spooky! New podcast by the folks who brought you OFMFF about Haunted Hollywood! Check it out on their linktr.ee!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction

= Halloween =

Since Halloween always gives us such fabulous costumes I really wanted to share some that popped across my feed! LadyLiu7 on Instagram was kind enough to share her Blackbeard Costume, which I have to say, is INCREDIBLY bad ass. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

Source: LadyLiu7's Instagram

One of our very active and amazing crewmates, politestmenace over on twitter also dressed as Ed this year, with bonus mini-menace as Kevin from Time Bandits! (Jemaine even sent some praise!) Thanks for letting me share this awesomeness dear!!

Source: Politest Menace's Twitter

Another one of our wonderful crewmates -- _gentlebeard over on twitter went as one of the Skeleton Mermaids! Check out this stunning costume! It was so impressive David re-tweeted it! Absolutely fantastic job Chelsea! Thank you so much for letting me share this with the crew!

Source: _Gentlebeard's Twitter!

= Adopt Our Crew Prompts =

Our Fan-Tabulous crewmembers over at @adoptourcrew kept up the engagement by asking folks what kind of cool OFMD stuff people were into for the spooky season and I was so happy that some of our crewmates were cool with me sharing because LOOK AT THE TALENT ON THIS SHIP!!!!!

Source: Adopt Our Crew's Twitter  Like seriously, how do you all manage to get this so intricate! ITS AMAZING and SUPER SPOOKY. I would have loved to see it in person! Great job Sarah!!

Source: Habitvol6's Twitter

Oh and this extremely cool mermen skeletons decoration!? EXCUSE ME!? Poison2Princess over on Twitter knocked it out of the park with this one!!

Source: Poison2Princess on Twitter

OH and just by the way, check out this fabulous flag pumpkin by AsYouWish311 over on Twitter! It's so hard to carve pumpkins, and you DID NAIL IT! So hard! Frenchie would be proud!

Source: AsYouWish311

Tumblr keeps deleting my edits-- but Check out this SUPER BADASS PUMPKIN THAT JENN on bluesky made! Look at that!!! It looks like a title card! You are amazing luv!

Source: Metavenhorst on Bluesky!

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies! I hope you all had an absolutely wonderful spooky couple days! Halloween is one of my favorite times of year because everyone gets to be so creative, and expectations are dropped even if it's just for an evening!

Please oh please remember to take some time for yourself soon if you didn't get to these past couple days! You need to recharge too. Sending so much love your way -- take care!

Source： MyEasyTherapy

[soupbabe]

I don’t know who to go to to talk about this but I had a dream about The Lost Boys last night and I’ve been thinking about it all day and I was wondering what the boys reactions would be if you told them you had a dream about them. If that makes sense.

Thank you as always <3

Telling the Lost Boys You Dream About Them

This is so cute and w the Lost Boys ?? It's even better omg

David

- He's milking the attention on him for all it's worth

- He's going to make you embarrassed and flustered about it and David is going to have the best time of his life doing so

- "No, repeat what you just said, I didn't hear. What was I wearing again?" He heard it he absolutely heard it

- Like don't get me wrong, it's extremely flattering for David, he loves that you think about him all the time

- But also he will poke fun at you any chance he gets

Dwayne

- I think this could be the only thing that could make Dwayne red in face

- He's a sap he loves thinking that you dream about him!! Please tell him everything!!

- His eyes are transfixed on you, his teasing is minimal

- If you ask him if he ever dreams about you, I think his blush gets worse

- He absolutely does, all the time, but not even waterboarding is going to get that information out of him

Paul

- He reacts like David, but his teasing is somehow much worse

- You could describe to him the most innocent dream, but Paul will turn it into something dirty because it's funny to rile you up

- He's trying so hard not to laugh everytime he goes "Stop lying what really happened" every time you tell him your dreams

- You're not going to win,,, you tell him to shut up and hit him and he's all giggles and still adamant about the dream that never happened

- he's too much of a menace never tell him anything

Marko

- Yeah Marko is teasing, but honestly he's more excited to hear about the weird dreams

- Were there any freaky weirdos chasing you? Was he the freaky weirdo chasing you? Let him know PLEASE

- But if it's something unexpected for him, like a dream that's genuinely sweet, he's gonna go quiet

- He's not overly flustered like Dwayne, but he's just gonna buffer a lil. Thinking too much about what to do

- "...so you wanna recreate it or what."