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inkskinned · 2 years ago

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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

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thebunnednun · 8 months ago

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My Medic! Smoker x Nurse! Reader

Request:

THIS BIG MAN NEEDS SOME LOVE!!! Smoker x Nurse!reader. After a battle, Smoker gets injured and goes to the Marine infirmary and the reader [his crush] takes care of him HJSHSHSH I LOVE HIM!!!!

@sosongstrawberry You ask and you shall receive!

I swear this man smokes at least 15 packs a day.

On with the show!!~

______________________________________________________________

Smoker trudged into the Marine infirmary, his usual confidence tempered by the pain radiating from a deep gash on his side. The battle had been fierce, but the Marines had emerged victorious. However, victory came with its own set of costs. Smoker, ever the stoic, had refused immediate attention until he was sure his men were safe and accounted for.

The sterile smell of antiseptic filled his senses as he entered, the bright lights causing him to squint slightly. He growled in discomfort, muttering to himself about how much he hated hospitals. But when he saw you, the nurse he had a secret admiration for, his annoyance turned into a mix of awkwardness and hidden delight.

You were busy tending to another patient when you noticed him. Dressed in a crisp, white uniform with a light blue apron and matching cap, you looked both professional and adorably cute. Your eyes widened in concern when you saw the blood-soaked bandage wrapped around his torso.

"Commander Smoker! Why didn’t you come sooner? You should have been treated immediately!" you scolded gently, guiding him to an empty bed.

"I’m fine," he grumbled, though he didn't resist your touch. "Just take care of the others first."

You shook your head, your hands already moving to unwrap the makeshift bandage. "Everyone else is stable. Now, hold still."

Smoker winced as you carefully peeled away the blood-soaked cloth, revealing the deep cut. You could feel his eyes on you as you worked, and it made your heart race a little faster. Despite his gruff exterior, you knew he had a kind heart, and the idea of him being in pain bothered you more than you wanted to admit.

"This is pretty deep," you murmured, more to yourself than to him. "You’re lucky it didn’t hit anything vital."

He grunted in response, his eyes fixed on your concentrated expression. "I've been through worse."

You glanced up, catching his gaze for a moment. "Doesn’t mean you should neglect yourself."

There was a brief, almost awkward silence as you cleaned the wound. The tension between you two was palpable, though neither of you dared to address it directly. As you worked, Smoker found himself relaxing under your care, the pain becoming more bearable.

"How do you do it?" he asked suddenly, his voice softer than usual.

"Do what?" you replied, not looking up from your work.

"Stay so calm and composed, even with all this chaos around."

You paused for a moment, considering your answer. "I guess... it’s because I care. I want to help people, make sure they’re okay. It’s why I became a nurse."

Smoker nodded slowly, a small, rare smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "You’re good at it. Really good."

You felt a warmth spread through you at his words. "Thank you, Smoker. That means a lot coming from you."

The rest of the procedure went smoothly, the two of you sharing occasional glances and small smiles. Once the wound was stitched and bandaged, you stepped back to admire your handiwork.

"All done," you said, your voice tinged with relief. "Try to take it easy for a while, okay?"

He nodded, but as he stood to leave, he hesitated. You noticed his ever-present cigars and frowned slightly.

"Smoker, you need to stop smoking, especially while you’re healing. It’s not good for you," you said firmly, yet sweetly.

He looked taken aback for a moment, then chuckled. "I’ll... try."

You smiled warmly, your heart fluttering. "Good. And if you need anything, anything at all, just let me know. I’m here to help."

Smoker nodded again, feeling an unfamiliar warmth in his chest. "Thank you. Really."

As the days passed, Smoker found himself looking forward to his check-ups, not just for the medical attention but for the chance to see you. Your tough yet sweet demeanor was a refreshing change, and he found himself falling for you more with each interaction.

By the end of his stay, Smoker was fully healed, and though he was eager to get back to his duties, he felt a pang of reluctance at leaving you. On the day of his discharge, he walked into the infirmary with a small bouquet of flowers in hand, a rare, almost shy smile on his face.

"These are for you," he said, holding out the flowers. "To thank you for everything."

You took the flowers, blushing slightly. "Thank you, Smoker. They’re beautiful."

He cleared his throat, his usual gruffness returning for a moment. "And, um, I was wondering... would you like to go out sometime? Maybe dinner?"

Your eyes widened in surprise, then softened with affection. "I’d love to."

Smoker’s smile widened, a genuine, heartfelt expression. "Great. I’ll see you tonight, then."

As he walked out of the infirmary, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement and hope. Maybe, just maybe, this big, strong man needed more than just medical attention. Maybe he needed someone to care for him, someone like you.

And as for Smoker, he realized that perhaps letting someone in wasn’t as terrifying as he thought, especially if that someone was you.

Bonus!-------------

The sun was setting, casting a warm, golden hue over the bustling streets of the town. Smoker adjusted his coat nervously as he approached the quaint café where he was meeting you. The place was known for its cozy atmosphere and delicious pastries, making it the perfect spot for a first date.

As he stepped inside, the smell of fresh coffee and baked goods greeted him, along with the soft hum of conversation. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on you, sitting by the window.

You looked adorable in a light pink dress with delicate lace trim, a small white cardigan draped over your shoulders. Your hair was styled simply but elegantly, and you wore a sweet, nervous smile as you spotted him.

"Hi, Smoker," you greeted, standing up to hug him lightly.

"Hey," he replied, a bit gruffly, though his expression softened as he handed you another bouquet of flowers. "These are for you."

Your eyes sparkled with delight as you took the flowers, inhaling their sweet scent. "Thank you, they're beautiful."

He pulled out a chair for you before sitting down himself. The two of you ordered your drinks, and as you waited, the conversation flowed naturally. Smoker found himself relaxing more with each passing minute, your presence soothing his usual tension.

"So," he began, taking a sip of his coffee. "How’s your day been?"

"Busy, but good," you replied, smiling. "Seeing you has definitely been the highlight, though."

He chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound that made your heart flutter. "I’m glad to hear that. I was a bit worried you might get tired of seeing me so often."

"Never," you said firmly, your eyes locking with his. "I enjoy our time together."

There was a brief, comfortable silence as you both savored your drinks and the peaceful ambiance of the café. Smoker took a deep breath, feeling a rare sense of calm and happiness. He knew he wanted to make this moment special, to solidify the bond you were forming.

He reached across the table, gently taking your hand in his. "I’ve been thinking a lot about us, about you," he said, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "And I wanted to ask you something."

You tilted your head slightly, curiosity and anticipation dancing in your eyes. "What is it?"

Smoker’s grip on your hand tightened just a fraction as he mustered his courage. "Would you consider being my personal nurse? If I promise to be your personal soldier, always there to protect you?"

Your heart skipped a beat, your cheeks flushing with a mixture of surprise and joy. "You mean… like us being together?"

He nodded, his gaze intense yet tender. "Yeah. I want you by my side, both on and off duty. I want to take care of you just like you’ve taken care of me."

Tears of happiness welled up in your eyes as you squeezed his hand. "Yes, Smoker. I’d love that."

A rare, genuine smile spread across his face as he lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. "You’ve made me the happiest man alive," he murmured.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening talking, laughing, and sharing sweet moments, the world outside fading into the background. It was just you and Smoker, wrapped in a bubble of warmth and affection.

As the night came to a close and Smoker walked you back to your quarters, he felt a newfound sense of purpose and contentment. He had found someone who cared for him deeply, someone he wanted to cherish and protect with all his might.

And as for you, you knew you had found a partner who, despite his tough exterior, had a heart of gold. Someone who made you feel safe and loved. Together, you knew you could face anything the world threw at you.

As you stood at your door, Smoker leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a tender, lingering kiss. "Goodnight, my personal nurse," he whispered.

"Goodnight, my personal soldier," you replied, your voice filled with happiness.

With one last smile, Smoker turned and walked away, already looking forward to the many more moments and memories you would share together.

As Smoker was about to turn the corner, he heard your voice calling out to him from behind.

"Smoker, wait!" you called, your voice tinged with excitement.

He paused, turning back to see you standing at the doorway of your quarters, a mischievous glint in your eyes.

"Would you like a nightcap? Or... better yet, a check-up?~"

He couldn't help but grin at your suggestion, a surge of warmth flooding through him.

"Why not both?~"

With a shared laugh and a knowing glance, you both ran inside together, the promise of a night filled with laughter, love, and a little healing, waiting just beyond the threshold.

The next morning his cadets couldn't help but notice the ease in their captain's attitude.~

___________________________________________________

I hope you enjoyed your request my dear! I took a softer approach to his personality.

To be posted on the ao3 account soon.

Be sure to check out my other works and leave likes and comments, they really help. I have a fic for almost everyone here in the master list. Drop a follow as well if you please. Don’t be shy to leave me a little reblog if you want.

I promise I bite~

Seen you soon my loves!!~ <<33

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