#dating in your 30s

[dinosinthedark]

I absolutely hate dating I've realized.. I don't want to have these lame ass conversations with people I don't know and make them into people I do know. I don't want to put in the effort to build a relationship into something. I'm tired

[millenniallust4death]

I'm in a cafe quietly drinking my overpriced latte. The table near me has a couple on a first date. I nearly spit out my coffee when the woman loudly proclaimed, "The CIA has murdered SO MANY people!". No context. No segue. The man pushed his chair back to create space from her. I mean, she's not wrong. But it's too much for this tech bro.

[yutegxddess]

dating is so weird .. its either theyre trying to fall in love with me in a week .. sending dick pics in less than a week .. or one of us goes ghost 🥴

[asshole-rebel-psycho]

Dating in your 30s

*my sister takes a picture of me for my dating app*

Her: "stop, your eyes are giving desperation"

[zwriteseverything]

Online dating in your 30s is wild because one minute you’re getting a sweet guy who wants to talk to you and the next guys feels the need to send you dirty ass pictures within two minutes of talking to each other like bro I don’t want to see your crusty old ass dick please keep that shit to yourself.

Like tell me how I met a guy yesterday mind you we had one really good hour conversation on the phone. He’s already asking me if I want to see his dick and his toys, please you haven’t even told me how sexy and beautiful I am yet, and you already want to start off the relationship in a sexual nature. Like I already know this is not gonna go anywhere. It’s just sad. Someone send help.

[fly-the-pattern]

[altar-ov-plagues]

Bitches be like "in a few days you treated me better than my ex ever did in a year" and then they vanish and don't ever talk to you again.

[vizthedatum]

Not that I'm active on dating apps right now (technically not seeing anyone after the last person I dated for several weeks and I parted ways (it wasn't bad - just incompatibility in feelings… I did feel sad about it but it was all mature and respectful with no hard feelings - I'm thankful they communicated with me), the randoms I dated on and off all year, and I guess the cute enby who flaked on me all summer (but they were probably way too involved with their life, way too young for me, and emotionally immature; it is what it is))…. I'm not perfect in initial dating stages either. I don't know what’s owed or not to people I just met. I'm trying to be better and more explicit with communication.

But maybe I should add into my profile (which already limits the people I match with since I have decided to just go all out in my t4t-ness and asking people to court me):

Don't court me unless you can invest in me: including time, emotional vulnerability, attention, energy, money (not that I want that directly - but more like I want to go out and do activities!), a commitment to your own growth, etc.

This is before commitment. (and I don't want someone who is scared to commit or practices polyamory with no boundaries or ethical principles (I am poly and I expect COMMUNICATION instead of running away from problems))

I just want to meet like-minded people who are serious about finding compatible, long-term partners… even if it doesn't work out.

I know I have a lot going on in my life, but I'm still worthy of love and relationships. I'm worthy of respect. I deserve to be picky about what makes me feel safe. Other people have a lot going on, too - and they deserve to be picky too.

I would rather go out, have mutual respect, and part ways amicably rather than ghost/be ghosted or end up in a situationship.

I grow in relationships, and I love people. I want to share my life AND have my autonomy.

—

I don't know when I’ll return to the dating apps or if that's a good approach anymore.

I have been prioritizing my health, friends, and career these days, but at this point in the year, I can definitely make time for people who seem like good fits. I'm hoping I'll meet them at an event or through friends more organically.

I want to keep enjoying my life as much as possible with my current conditions. I have a lot to enjoy, and my life keeps improving despite my complaints.

[balotpinoy110390]

Unending Cycle

Have you ever been in a cycle of your life that keeps on repeating?

Have you ever been in a rabbit hole that whatever you do to escape, you still have the same result?

You wanted to give up, and give yourself a chance to move on, but is it really the answer?

Is moving on really the answer or the solution to your misery?

Are you tired of chasing your dreams?

Tired of chasing pretty rainbows?

Rainbows that you thought would truly give colors to your grayscale life.

Dating.

Family.

Issues.

Everywhere.

You thought dating would give you peace, like the romance you usually see at the movies will provide you with butterflies, but all you experience is an unending cycle.

WhatsApp number - chat - get to know - ghost.

You get to ask yourself, what went wrong? Did I go too strong with the messages I sent? Could you let me know what I did this time? What did I do to make him leave me like that?

When you truly think you met this special someone because you've been chatting for a long time, you suddenly realize he always places you on the pedestal. He will only message you at his convenient time, and you on the other side, are too giddy to reply. It only shows you're hungry for love or the bare minimum he can give. Wake up, girl! You deserve more than that!

Dreams that you have for your family. You keep running to achieve this dream, but it shows that they are dragging you into the hole to sink alone?

It's time to build your walls again.

Time to rebuild yourself.

Build confidence in everything you do.

You are far more than a girl hungry for attention or love.

YOU deserve more!

YOU need to end this unending cycle.

YOU need to get out of this rabbit hole and move on!

The world is too big to explore.

YOU are loved. ❤️

[dearjewels22]

“Stay single until you find somebody who puts effort into pursuing you… and keeping you.”

[dinosinthedark]

What a good date. I'm glad I have some sort of companion in him, I don't know what any of it means or what it'll be. But I'm happy in this moment, and that's enough.

[ienianstories]

A Song For Katla

This is my third book! I wrote it because I wanted to explore queer fiction about people my age, so this is about a 30-something professional government employee relearning to connect to her queerness, her family who have passed on, and the dreams she set aside in an attempt to gain control on her life. Katla is a half pixie, half jotunn lesbian born and raised in Ienia who hasn't dated since before she graduated university, and by happenstance meets a half changeling half elf transbian who ran to Ienia to chase her dream of becoming a rock star, and escape her family. Together they explore what dating in your thirties when you're already locked into a life path that makes you happy, but wanting more out of it anyways.

[londongirl]

Accurate 😆

[bihansthot]

Real men do suck big time, lol. I've tried it all and even got ghosted in real life, so I haven't been able to date anyone. I understand where you're coming from and how much it hurts. It's not wrong to hanker love and intimacy. I'll continue to love fictional men in my delusional head, they'll take good care of me. If it makes us happy, that's all that matters. I also know what it's like to feel drained creatively, been through it a lot. Currently am. The ageist mindset some men have is horrible too. I'm 33, but sometimes get creepy remarks from 60-70 year old men since I look 19 to them. I've nothing against older men, but I wish most wouldn't treat women past 25 like we're suddenly unworthy and undeserving. We're desirable, lovable, and deserving of respect like any human being. Chin up, dear! I'll fight anyone for you. I'm a fellow Bi-Han and Syzoth lover, though I also adore Tomas! Hehe.

Dating in your 30s is soooo hard, I don’t want a 60+ year old man, I just want a guy in his 40s but no, I’m not young enough for a man close to my age. I still look younger but the actual number is apparently important. It’s just all so frustrating and I’m over it, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with the same garbage lovely. But yes! We have our wonderful fictional lovers to keep us company 🥰 For the record I adore Tomas too, he’s so sweet 🥹

[a-young-doctors-journey]

Hello dear Internet friends,

So much has happened since my last update - things I didn't think would actually come to pass.

The long and short of it is that I'm splitting up with my long-time partner, of over 6 years. We'd be celebrating our 7 year anniversary in two weeks... how crazy is it that we're not?

I feel like I'm starting life all over again; I know it sounds dramatic, but he's been such a constant, stable part of my life all through medical school and beyond, and I feel like I'm more than a little lost now. I still miss him every day.

And rejoining the dating pool in your 30s? Scary, let me tell you. The dating pool itself? Even more scary.

How are you doing, in life and love? Share below [sob stories only, please]!

[stuff-for-millennials]

21st century dating is a trip!

I just came to the realization that I only started dating in the 21st century (I'm in my late 30s but didn't start interacting with guys like that until my late teens). Obviously things are different now than they were 20 years ago, but the online dating revolution began way back then.

I used dating sites on a computer in my younger days (before phones had that capability), and of course it was a bit different than it is today. However, I think that's where the whole concept of having a "menu", if you will, of potential dates to choose from began.

As long as it's agreed upon, people nowadays can choose each other for dates like we choose our groceries... And having this virtual catalog of potential matches to choose from is so vastly different from how previous generations operated.

My parents met at a party in the 70s. My dad's parents met at the hospital they both worked at in the 40s. My mom's parents were from the same small town in Vermont and met when my grandmother was 18, also in the 40s.

The way people meet is often different than it was way back when, and my theory is that because of this, it affects the way that people even approach dating in the first place. If the only options for dating are a handful of people in a small town, or one's co-workers, perhaps that's part of why dating seemed more "human" back then.

Now that "swiping" between potential dates is not only a part of the vernacular but also part of the culture, no wonder that dating can be so dehumanizing! Ghosting, the slow fade, etc are all things that are a part of 21st century dating in a way that they were NOT a part of 20th century dating.

I don't know what the solution is, but I think recognizing these generational differences in dating could be a start.