#dating in your 30s

[dinosinthedark]

I absolutely hate dating I've realized.. I don't want to have these lame ass conversations with people I don't know and make them into people I do know. I don't want to put in the effort to build a relationship into something. I'm tired

[millenniallust4death]

I'm in a cafe quietly drinking my overpriced latte. The table near me has a couple on a first date. I nearly spit out my coffee when the woman loudly proclaimed, "The CIA has murdered SO MANY people!". No context. No segue. The man pushed his chair back to create space from her. I mean, she's not wrong. But it's too much for this tech bro.

[yutegxddess]

dating is so weird .. its either theyre trying to fall in love with me in a week .. sending dick pics in less than a week .. or one of us goes ghost 🥴

[eyelashesandentropy]

The revolting thing about being in a relationship in my 30s after being single for over 8 years is that I want to gush but feel childish doing so

But he’s pretty great so I’m gonna do it anyway

[asshole-rebel-psycho]

Dating in your 30s

*my sister takes a picture of me for my dating app*

Her: "stop, your eyes are giving desperation"

[zwriteseverything]

Online dating in your 30s is wild because one minute you’re getting a sweet guy who wants to talk to you and the next guys feels the need to send you dirty ass pictures within two minutes of talking to each other like bro I don’t want to see your crusty old ass dick please keep that shit to yourself.

Like tell me how I met a guy yesterday mind you we had one really good hour conversation on the phone. He’s already asking me if I want to see his dick and his toys, please you haven’t even told me how sexy and beautiful I am yet, and you already want to start off the relationship in a sexual nature. Like I already know this is not gonna go anywhere. It’s just sad. Someone send help.

[unfinishedsonglyrics]

Death to your dream girl

I’m not pure like an angel. I just have blue eyes and blonde hair

and I don’t understand you, sir, and frankly I don’t care.

And if that upsets you and you say that it’s not fair —that girl that you think that you’re in love with she simply isn’t there.

You dreamed her down and spun her out of a cloud of pink and grace. You dressed her up in a gown with the fishnets and the lace. You took her out on the town and you gave that bitch my face and now you say that you can’t live without her and you want her to take my place?

Well, I hope you and your dream girl die, because I’m real and I’m not here to satisfy

the whims of some man that I don’t know.

Get my face off your dream girl and go.

I said get my face off your dream girl and go.

You say I remind you of Elvis, Jazz and luxury and yet you still want me to be your good wife in the country. Settled down with three kids on a farm. As long as I’m barefoot and knocked up you don’t see the harm.

Well I didn’t ask you to change me and I don’t want no goddamn baby. It’s funny how you think you can read my mind when not once have you ever taken a good ol’ look inside.

I hope you and your dream girl die

Because I’m real and I’m not here to satisfy

The whims of some man that I don’t know.

Get my face off your dream girl and go.

I said get my face off your dream girl and go.

Yeah I’ve got that body that reminds people of foxes.

I’ve the body that for you checks all the boxes.

You’ve got a lotta nerve. I’d like to know who you are—and why you think you can swap my engine out just like I’m a car.

I hope you and your dream girl die.

I’m real and I’m not here to satisfy

The whims of some man that I don’t know.

Get my face off your dream girl and go.

I said take my face off your dream girl and go!

[soulofkole]

[lovenotesxcitygirls]

Why Am I Even Writing This?

Honestly, I don’t know why I’m starting this blog. Writing about something as controversial as love and romance feels like stepping into a battlefield armed with nothing but a pen and a lot of opinions. But here I am, because as someone who genuinely loves connection and wants people to just get to the love already, it feels like the right thing to do.

I’m tired. Tired of the podcasts, the red-pill rants, the TikTok discourse where everyone talks but no one listens. And while I can’t explain why I feel the need to contribute to the noise, I figured I’d take a shot at adding something meaningful. People have been telling me for years, “You should start a podcast!” But let’s be real—I’m not a podcast person. The idea of sitting in front of a mic, trying not to cringe at the sound of my own voice? No thanks. I’d honestly probably ramble. Writing is my lane. Maybe one day this will evolve into a podcast, but for now, this is my space to think out loud, wine in hand.

It’s funny, though, because this has nothing to do with my career, my ambitions, or my five-year plan. People have even told me, “You’d make a great therapist!” And to that, I say: absolutely not. Shoutout to the therapists out there—I respect you, but I’m not built to sit and listen to people unpack their problems all day. What I am built for is love. Not just the rom-com kind, but love in its truest, rawest form: deep, unfiltered, messy, and magical.

How Did We Get Here?

There’s no shortage of theories about why modern love feels like such a disaster. Someone once told me, “Men are looking for women who no longer exist, and women are looking for men who don’t yet exist.” That hit me. Because honestly, it feels true.

Some people blame it on R&B—“Men aren’t out here begging anymore.” And listen, I laughed, but they weren’t wrong. Where’s the Keith Sweat energy, the Boyz II Men drama? Where are the love songs that make you want to call someone and cry?

Others say it’s because we’re living in unprecedented times. Women are independent in ways history has never seen before, and with the rise of AI and a rapidly changing world, the things we find valuable are shifting. We’re in a cultural transition, and everyone’s trying to figure out what love looks like when the old rules don’t work anymore.

What I Hope to Do Here

So, as I sip my wine and play the “Who is Jill Scott?”album (because yes, that album is still undefeated), I find myself wondering: How do we bridge this gap? How do we move past the noise and get to the heart of what love is supposed to be?

This blog isn’t about preaching, and I don’t have all the answers. I’m not here to tell anyone how to live their life or what their relationships should look like. But I do want to have real conversations about what love means today—the good, the bad, the confusing. I want to explore what it looks like to love deeply in a world that often feels shallow, to connect authentically in a culture obsessed with the next swipe, and to hold space for something real in the midst of all the chaos.

Maybe this space will grow into something bigger. Maybe it’ll just be a collection of thoughts and stories, scribbled down in between sips of wine. Either way, I’m glad you’re here. Let’s figure this out together.

[fly-the-pattern]

[altar-ov-plagues]

Bitches be like "in a few days you treated me better than my ex ever did in a year" and then they vanish and don't ever talk to you again.

[dinosinthedark]

I worked two 16 hours shifts in a row. And he made me and brought to work a steak sandwich and also made sauteed spinach with onions and peppers. And to be completely honest, it's been a long time since I felt so much softness in my heart for someone. It was such a sweet and kind gesture and I'm excited to see him on Wednesday.

[vizthedatum]

Not that I'm active on dating apps right now (technically not seeing anyone after the last person I dated for several weeks and I parted ways (it wasn't bad - just incompatibility in feelings… I did feel sad about it but it was all mature and respectful with no hard feelings - I'm thankful they communicated with me), the randoms I dated on and off all year, and I guess the cute enby who flaked on me all summer (but they were probably way too involved with their life, way too young for me, and emotionally immature; it is what it is))…. I'm not perfect in initial dating stages either. I don't know what’s owed or not to people I just met. I'm trying to be better and more explicit with communication.

But maybe I should add into my profile (which already limits the people I match with since I have decided to just go all out in my t4t-ness and asking people to court me):

Don't court me unless you can invest in me: including time, emotional vulnerability, attention, energy, money (not that I want that directly - but more like I want to go out and do activities!), a commitment to your own growth, etc.

This is before commitment. (and I don't want someone who is scared to commit or practices polyamory with no boundaries or ethical principles (I am poly and I expect COMMUNICATION instead of running away from problems))

I just want to meet like-minded people who are serious about finding compatible, long-term partners… even if it doesn't work out.

I know I have a lot going on in my life, but I'm still worthy of love and relationships. I'm worthy of respect. I deserve to be picky about what makes me feel safe. Other people have a lot going on, too - and they deserve to be picky too.

I would rather go out, have mutual respect, and part ways amicably rather than ghost/be ghosted or end up in a situationship.

I grow in relationships, and I love people. I want to share my life AND have my autonomy.

—

I don't know when I’ll return to the dating apps or if that's a good approach anymore.

I have been prioritizing my health, friends, and career these days, but at this point in the year, I can definitely make time for people who seem like good fits. I'm hoping I'll meet them at an event or through friends more organically.

I want to keep enjoying my life as much as possible with my current conditions. I have a lot to enjoy, and my life keeps improving despite my complaints.

[balotpinoy110390]

Unending Cycle

Have you ever been in a cycle of your life that keeps on repeating?

Have you ever been in a rabbit hole that whatever you do to escape, you still have the same result?

You wanted to give up, and give yourself a chance to move on, but is it really the answer?

Is moving on really the answer or the solution to your misery?

Are you tired of chasing your dreams?

Tired of chasing pretty rainbows?

Rainbows that you thought would truly give colors to your grayscale life.

Dating.

Family.

Issues.

Everywhere.

You thought dating would give you peace, like the romance you usually see at the movies will provide you with butterflies, but all you experience is an unending cycle.

WhatsApp number - chat - get to know - ghost.

You get to ask yourself, what went wrong? Did I go too strong with the messages I sent? Could you let me know what I did this time? What did I do to make him leave me like that?

When you truly think you met this special someone because you've been chatting for a long time, you suddenly realize he always places you on the pedestal. He will only message you at his convenient time, and you on the other side, are too giddy to reply. It only shows you're hungry for love or the bare minimum he can give. Wake up, girl! You deserve more than that!

Dreams that you have for your family. You keep running to achieve this dream, but it shows that they are dragging you into the hole to sink alone?

It's time to build your walls again.

Time to rebuild yourself.

Build confidence in everything you do.

You are far more than a girl hungry for attention or love.

YOU deserve more!

YOU need to end this unending cycle.

YOU need to get out of this rabbit hole and move on!

The world is too big to explore.

YOU are loved. ❤️

[dearjewels22]

“Stay single until you find somebody who puts effort into pursuing you… and keeping you.”

[ienianstories]

A Song For Katla

This is my third book! I wrote it because I wanted to explore queer fiction about people my age, so this is about a 30-something professional government employee relearning to connect to her queerness, her family who have passed on, and the dreams she set aside in an attempt to gain control on her life. Katla is a half pixie, half jotunn lesbian born and raised in Ienia who hasn't dated since before she graduated university, and by happenstance meets a half changeling half elf transbian who ran to Ienia to chase her dream of becoming a rock star, and escape her family. Together they explore what dating in your thirties when you're already locked into a life path that makes you happy, but wanting more out of it anyways.