#data loves kids and is a good sport

[yellowcakeuf6]

Did this quick (and I mean really quick) today during work breaks. Data has his sleeves rolled up to look after this lively youngster based on an alien race in the last chapter of the fic by @dataentryspecialist. When I saw this shot of Brent, Gates and her son I was bitten by a vision that wouldn't let go. So, the story is that Data is a jolly good sport and he's always asked to muck in at birthday parties for the crew's offspring.

[delphi-shield]

OLD FOLKS HOME ↪ age gap hcs

the people you love & the shit they do that reminds you of the dreaded Gap (tm). characters included: leon kennedy, chris redfield, jill valentine, claire redfield, rebecca chambers no warnings to speak of. remember kids, if you're gonna date people in their 30s and 40s, you're gonna have different cultural contexts and, most likely, different senses of humor.

Leon is eight levels of irony deep. He started doing Old Guy Shit just to mess with you, and now it's all come full circle. 

It turns out he actually likes watching the weather channel. He��s monitoring storms that are miles and miles away from you, pointing out the feeder bands like it’s some kind of sporting event. 

He's genuinely invested in Ice Road Truckers. He asks you to TiVo it for him when he's gone. You do not have TiVo. In fact, you're pretty sure no one still has TiVo. 

Or you were, until Leon once again committed to the bit and got TiVo.

Really, genuinely annoying about old movies, actors, and directors.

”What do you mean you don’t know who Robert Redford is? The Candidate? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? C’mon. He was even in an episode of The Twilight Zone. You’ll know him when you see him.”

At least you get movie dates out of it.

Movie dates that he will pepper with trivia about the film, by the way. You don't need the commentary track. He is the commentary.

I'm so, so sorry about this. 🤪 is his favorite emoji. I know. I'm sorry.

Chris cannot fucking hear. To be honest, I think most of them have some degree of hearing loss - but Chris in particular seems to have very subjective hearing loss.

Yes, you were just having a full-fledged conversation. No, he didn’t hear you ask him to take out the trash. He didn’t forget, he just didn’t hear you. Sorry, you were standing on his right - come on, you know that’s his bad side.

Explains basic technology to you because he’s not sure if you know what it is. Then, in the same breath, crams in so many military acronyms he may as well be reciting the alphabet. Does not explain the acronyms.

Like, yeah, Chris. I know what a landline is. Dial-up internet, too. Now, what the fuck is an ORE?

Have you ever gotten ‘ok’ in response to a nude? You’re about to. Completely demoralizing, by the way.

He didn't know you wanted him to compose a poem dedicated to your beauty, okay? He tries to get better, but winds up sending shit like 'wow 👍'

Does the dad thing where he insists he's not interested in watching what's on TV and then stands with his hands on his hips in the middle of the living room, enthralled by the show.

Jill does not understand your music. She will not make an attempt to understand your music. If you see her tapping her foot to the beat, no you do not. She is not interested in expanding her musical horizons.

She only bought you tickets to that concert because she knew you would love it. She only went with you because you’re cute when you’re so into this stuff. She only bought that t-shirt because it would be a good souvenir, and eventually, a good grease rag.

Generalized distrust of social media. Do not show her a tiktok. She will ignore the video and lecture you about data safety. Jill, please. Just watch the fucking cat video.

And then she turns around and opts in to literally everything on the McDonald's app.

If there’s a rewards program, she’s in. Already sold. Didn’t even read the fine print. All that shit she was telling you about how you need to be more careful is right out the window for some free fries.

Anything for the thrill of a good deal. If she had more time on her hands, she would be couponing.

Buys in bulk. No, it doesn't matter if the two of you could not physically eat that much rice. It's cheaper to buy it like this. It's fine. It's good for you.

Gotta stock up on non-perishables, too. You gotta be prepared in case something happens. "Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it."

Claire cannot stop shopping from QVC. She's in the kitchen with David. It Takes Two with Mary and Sandra? Wrong. It actually takes three. Mary, Sandra, and Claire.

Infomercials have got her by the throat. You have so many gadgets and gizmos around your home that are just collecting dust.

Gets wine drunk and goes online shopping. Legitimately does not remember what she’s bought.

Absolutely will not let you open the packages. (“Some of this stuff could be for you, you know.” “Claire, last time it was a 10,000 count package of googly eyes.” “And I used all 10,000. You still haven’t found them all.”)

Uses every piece of technology until it’s about to fall apart. Absolutely not interested in having the latest and greatest. She’s one of those people who insists that as long as her phone can make calls and send texts, she doesn’t need a new one.

Speaking of texts. Somehow, she got it into her head that a read receipt is equivalent to a reply. She doesn't get what the problem is. You know she saw your text. Why does she have to reply?

Genuinely doesn't mean anything malicious by it - but also, if you did that to her, you would never hear the end of it.

Rebecca legitimately has facebook humor. They all have some degree of facebook humor, but she's got it the worst. 

Will blow up your notifications tagging you in shit that is just straight up not funny. I’m talking full on tagging you with “😂😂😂”

Unironically sent you a minion meme once.

It's not that she's disconnected. She teaches undergrads. She knows what’s in, even if it’s only from the periphery. It’s just that she doesn’t care. She has no interest in keeping up with trends just for the sake of it. She’s so used to being the youngest person in the room and having to keep up expectations that she just absolutely does not care anymore. She's glad she's not one of the kids anymore.

If it made her laugh it made her laugh, her enjoyment isn’t shackled by feelings of shame!!

If you have a group chat on any platform with your friends please invite her. She's just happy to be included. She'll make a discord if she has to, and she'll brag about it to her students.

Yeah, she says pupper and doggo. She does. Look at her.

[pucksandpower]

hi love!! i’m not sure if you’re talking requests so completely ignore this if you’re not but, i’m in love with your grid kids series and i was wondering if you could do something with the grid kids that goes more into readers line of work?🫶🏼

Grid Kids: She Means Business

Sebastian Vettel x wife!Reader x platonic!drivers

Summary: your career as a renowned sports psychologist means you often work with your husband and grid kids

Series Masterlist

Sebastian Vettel: Meet Cute

Red Bull Racing’s pit wall is a hive of activity during the practice session for the Monaco Grand Prix. Engineers, strategists, and everyone in between are glued to their screens, analyzing data and communicating with the drivers.

You’re there in an official capacity, hired by Red Bull Racing to conduct a series of workshops to help the team, particularly the drivers, cope with the mental pressures of racing. With a headset on, you’re mostly observing, making notes on communication dynamics, when suddenly a voice interrupts your thoughts.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

You look up, slightly startled, to see none other than Sebastian Vettel, the team’s star driver, smiling down at you. His mop of hair sweaty and slightly tousled from the helmet he just took off after finishing up with FP2, the impish twinkle in his eyes making you feel … something.

“Oh, no. Not at all. I was just ...” you stammer, suddenly feeling a bit out of your element.

Sebastian sits down next to you, leaning in conspiratorially. “Between you and me, I think I’m here to see what the mysterious new hire is up to.”

You chuckle, “Well, if you must know, I’m observing team dynamics, communication patterns ... very thrilling stuff.”

He feigns a gasp, “So you’re spying on us?”

“In the most professional way possible,” you reply with a smirk.

Sebastian laughs, the sound genuine and contagious. “Well, I hope we’re giving you some good material.”

You lean in this time, matching his playful tone, “You? Always.”

There’s a brief pause, a moment of charged silence, before Sebastian grins, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

You smile back, “You should.”

The two of you chat easily, talking about the intricacies of the sport and the importance of mental preparedness.

As the session winds down and Mark Webber also makes his way back into the garage, Sebastian looks over at you, “You know, for someone who’s here to observe, you’re quite the distraction.”

Your cheeks warm, “Is that so?”

He nods, mock serious, “Absolutely. It’s a problem. I think we might need a one-on-one session to discuss it further.”

You laugh, “I’ll have to check my schedule but I’m sure we can arrange something.”

Sebastian winks, “Looking forward to it,” and with that he’s off to debrief with his engineers.

As you remove your headset, you can’t help but smile to yourself. This job assignment just got a lot more interesting.

Max Verstappen: Unloading the Past

Ten years later, the Red Bull Racing hospitality suite is buzzing with activity: the clink of glasses, murmurs of conversation, and the distant roar of engines echoing from the track. But in a quiet corner, there’s a space that feels a world apart.

Soft, ambient lighting casts a serene glow, a few comfortable chairs are arranged in a circle, and on the coffee table lies an assortment of fidget tools, from stress balls to sensory mats. This is your corner, specially designed for individual sessions.

Max Verstappen hesitates at the entrance. His eyes dart around, taking in the unfamiliar setting. It’s clear that beneath that façade of unshakable confidence lies vulnerability.

You rise, offering a comforting smile. “Hey, Max. Ready?”

He gives a tentative nod, following you in. “I’m not ... I’m not sure how to do this,” he admits, voice barely audible.

“That’s okay,” you assure him, guiding him to a chair. “There’s no right or wrong way. Just start wherever you feel comfortable.”

Taking a deep breath, Max begins, his words tumbling out, “It’s just ... sometimes, when I’m out there on the track, I feel like that kid again.” His voice cracks and he pauses, searching for the right words. “The kid who always felt he wasn’t good enough no matter how hard I tried.”

You nod, encouraging him to continue, “Tell me about that kid.”

As Max delves into memories of his childhood, stories of relentless training sessions, the weight of expectations, and the struggle to fit in, you listen. Every word, every pause, every shift in his tone paints a picture of a boy who was thrust into the world of racing at a young age, grappling with the colossal pressure to prove himself.

You gently prod, asking him to revisit specific incidents, encouraging him to express his feelings, and offering insights when necessary.

As the session progresses, Max’s demeanor changes. His initial hesitation gives way to openness, vulnerability transforms into strength, and slowly, the pieces start falling into place.

“You know,” you say softly, “It’s natural to carry the scars of our past with us but it’s important to remember they don’t define us.”

Max looks up, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, “But how do I move past it?”

You want so badly to reach out and hug him — this young man who you consider a son in all but blood — but hold yourself back. You’re both here for work and, right now, Max needs you as a professional and not a mom.

“By acknowledging it, understanding it, and then channeling it. Every time you get in the car, it’s an opportunity to rewrite that narrative. Not for anyone else but for yourself.”

Max takes a moment, absorbing your words. “Thank you,” he murmurs, a weight visibly lifted off his shoulders.

You give him a reassuring smile. “Anytime, Max. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Oh, and remember, we’re all meeting at that little Italian place Charles recommended for dinner.”

There’s a lightness in Max’s voice that wasn’t there before, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Charles Leclerc: Bittersweet Memories

The setting sun casts a somber glow across the paddock at Suzuka Circuit. It’s a track rich with history, triumphs, and heartbreaks. For Charles Leclerc, it’s where he lost Jules Bianchi, his godfather, mentor, and friend.

You find Charles seated alone in a quiet part of the Ferrari motorhome, gazing out the window. The overflowing sadness in his eyes nearly makes you stop in your tracks.

“Hey,” you greet gently, not wanting to startle him. “Mind if I join you?”

He offers a small nod, his gaze still distant.

Sitting down next to him, you allow a comfortable silence to settle, giving him the space to open up when he’s ready. Moments pass before Charles finally speaks, his voice tinged with melancholy.

“Every time I come here,” he starts, “it feels like I’m reliving that day. The memories, the pain, it all just floods back.”

You nod, understandingly, “Grief has a way of doing that, especially when tied to such a tangible reminder.”

Charles looks down, fiddling with his bracelet. “It’s hard, you know? Racing on the same track where I lost him. Every corner, every turn, it’s like he’s there with me.”

Taking a deep breath, you offer, “Maybe that’s a way for you to connect with Jules. To honor his memory, to carry his spirit with you every lap you drive.”

Charles’ eyes shimmer with tears. “I want to make him proud, to show that everything he taught me wasn’t in vain. But sometimes, the weight of it all just becomes too much.”

You reach out, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. “It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Grief isn’t linear. There will be days when it hits harder, especially in places like this. You just have to remember it’s not about racing against the pain but learning that it’s okay to race with it.”

He meets your gaze, searching for strength, “How do I do that?”

“By allowing yourself to feel, by acknowledging the pain, and by channeling it into your drive. Jules might not be here physically but he’s with you in spirit. And every time you get behind that wheel is another opportunity to show that.”

Charles takes a deep breath, absorbing your words. “Thank you,” he murmurs, a glimmer of determination returning to his eyes.

You give him a comforting smile. “I’m glad I could help, even if it’s just a little. We’re all here for you every step of the way.”

Lance Stroll: Nepo Babies Have Feelings Too

Inside the Aston Martin team lounge, screens show replays of the latest race, commentators discussing various drivers’ performance. One topic that often comes up is Lance Stroll. The chatter revolves around his father’s ownership of the team and whether Lance truly earned his seat or if he’s just a product of nepotism.

You notice Lance sitting a bit apart from the rest, headphones on but his face is a giveaway. The furrowed brows, the downward curve of his lips —he’s clearly overheard the unsubtle whispers.

You make your way over, gesturing to ask if he’d like some company. He nods, removing his headphones.

“Those comments,” you begin gently, “they don’t define you.”

Lance sighs, his frustration palpable. “It’s just ... no matter what I do, how hard I work, how much I improve, it always comes back to the same thing. That I’m only here because of my father.”

You nod, understanding the weight of such judgments. “It’s tough, Lance. But remember, others’ opinions of you are just that — opinions. They aren’t the truth and they most definitely are not your truth.”

He looks up, eyes searching. “But how do I prove them wrong? How do I show that I deserve to be here?”

“It starts with belief,” you say, leaning forward for emphasis, “belief in yourself. You’ve trained, you’ve raced, you’ve faced challenges head-on, and you’ve earned your spot. Your journey in F1 isn’t just about your last name. It’s about every late-night on the simulator, every risk taken on the track, every lap you’ve driven.”

Lance nods slowly, taking in your words. “But the chatter, it’s just so deafening sometimes.”

You offer a comforting smile. “You can’t control what others say but you can control how you react. Every time you’re on that track, you have the power to redefine the narrative, to let your skills speak louder than any spiteful words.”

Motivation straightens his hunched shoulders, the weight of doubt lifting slightly. “So focus on the drive, not the noise?”

“Exactly,” you affirm. “Your talent, your dedication, that’s what matters. Let the world see Lance Stroll, the driver, not just Lance Stroll, the son.”

He chuckles, “Easier said than done.”

You wink, “That’s why you have a stellar support system. Lean on us whenever the noise gets too loud.”

George Russell: Comparing Comparisons

It’s a cool afternoon at the Silverstone Circuit and the entire paddock is buzzing with excitement. There’s an added layer of intrigue to the British Grand Prix this season. Lewis Hamilton, the seven-time world champion, will be racing alongside his much younger compatriot, George Russell, as teammates for the first time.

In the Mercedes team garage, George is meticulously going over his race data, replaying certain turns and maneuvers in his head. But an undertone of tension cuts through his concentration.

You walk over, picking up on his restlessness. “Nervous about tomorrow?”

He glances up, forcing a smile. “That obvious, huh? It’s just racing alongside Lewis … it’s a dream come true but also incredibly daunting.”

You nod, understanding the pressure of standing next to a giant in the sport. “It’s natural to feel that way. Lewis has carved a legacy in F1 and now you’re right beside him, sharing the same tracks in the same car.”

George sighs, “That’s the thing. Everywhere I turn, there’s a comparison. It’s not just about my performance anymore, it’s about how I measure up to him.”

You lean against the worktable, choosing your words carefully. “Here’s the thing, George. You can’t control comparisons or expectations but you can control your race. Every driver brings something unique to the track. Lewis has his legacy, yes, but you have your own journey and story still to build.”

George nods slowly, pondering over your words. “I want to be able to block all of that out. I’ve tried every single weekend so far. But it’s hard. How do I focus on my race and not the looming shadow beside me?”

“There’s no one right answer,” you sympathize. “Look, Lewis is an icon and racing alongside him is an opportunity to learn, to grow. But remember, you’ve earned your spot here. This is as much your race as it is his.”

He chuckles, “You always know exactly what to say.”

You smile, “Just a little wisdom from the sidelines. Trust your training, trust your instincts, and let George Russell shine.”

Lando Norris: Never Grow Up

It’s a warm and bright morning but the mood inside the McLaren motorhome doesn’t quite reflect the sunny atmosphere outside. Lando Norris sits in a corner, earbuds in, lost deep in thought. The usual playful energy that surrounds him is missing today.

You approach, sensing the shift in his demeanor. “Room for one more?”

He looks up, offering a half-hearted smile. “Sure.”

You settle beside him, waiting for him to speak. After a brief pause, Lando finally breaks the silence. “Do you think I’m too childish?”

You’re slightly taken aback. “What makes you say that?”

Lando sighs, “I overheard some comments from a few crew members from another team. They said that no one takes me seriously because I’m always joking around, always laughing. They think that I’m not mature enough for this sport.”

You consider his words, understanding where he’s coming from. "Formula 1 is intense. It’s demanding and requires immense focus and dedication. But it’s also about personality, about bringing your unique touch to the grid.”

He nods but still seems unsure. “But what if they’re right? What if I’m not taken seriously because of how I act?”

You lean in, ensuring he listens to every word. “Lando, your driving speaks volumes. Every time you get behind the wheel, you showcase your skill and your tenacity. The playful side of you, the side that loves to laugh and bring joy, that’s a part of who you are. It doesn’t diminish your talent or your dedication.”

Lando seems to ponder your words, “But it’s hard, you know? Feeling like I have to constantly prove myself. Like there’s something wrong with being myself.”

You take his hand into both of yours, “Every driver feels that way at some point. But remember, the beauty of this sport is that it’s as much about character as it is about speed. Your playful nature, your genuine laughter, it brings a freshness to the paddock. Embrace it.”

He chuckles, the familiar sparkle returning to his eyes. “So be me and let my racing do the talking?”

“Without a doubt,” you confirm. “Stay true to yourself. The world needs more genuine smiles and more authentic laughter. Then, on the track, just keep doing what you do best.”

Lando grins, “Thanks. I really needed to hear that.”

Mick Schumacher: What’s In a Name?

The aftermath of a race is evident inside the Haas garage. Engineers are engaged in post-race analysis, the car undergoing routine checks. A desolate Mick Schumacher sits among the organized chaos, his helmet still on, concealing his face.

Walking over, you notice the subtle tremors in his frame, the weight of something heavy weighing on his young shoulders. Gently, you tap on his helmet, signaling for him to lift it. When he does, the anguish in his eyes is palpable.

“You okay, Mick?” you ask softly.

He tries to answer but his voice breaks. Swallowing hard, he confesses, “I just ... I can’t do it. I can’t ever live up to the name.”

You know the gravity of his sentiment. Being Michael Schumacher’s son in Formula 1 is no easy feat. The legacy, the expectations, the constant comparisons that follow Mick everywhere — it’s overwhelming.

You sit down beside him, “I won’t pretend to understand the pressure you feel but remember this: You are not just your last name. You are Mick Schumacher, your own person with your own journey, your own challenges, and your own victories.”

“But everywhere I go, it’s always about him,” Mick interjects, frustration evident. “The great Michael Schumacher’s son. Can he do it? Will he be even a fraction as good? It’s suffocating.”

You nod, acknowledging his feelings. “Your father is a legend and it’s natural for people to draw parallels. But racing isn’t just about legacy, it's about passion, determination, and personal growth. The shape your path takes in this sport is yours alone.”

Mick wipes away a tear, his gaze distant. “But what if I never truly make it? What if I never even score a point much less a podium or a win? What if I’m always just the son of the legend, never a making a name for myself in my own right?”

You squeeze his shoulder reassuringly. “Then you make peace with that and find joy in what you managed to achieve regardless. You are among twenty of the best drivers on the planet right now. Getting here is no easy feat. Not every path has to lead to the same destination. Maybe you’ll carve a different legacy, one that is uniquely yours.”

Mick seems to ponder over your words, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “I just ... I want to make him proud.”

You smile gently, “By being yourself, by giving every race your best shot, you already are. It’s not the titles or the championships that define us. It’s our heart and the impact we make on those around us. And trust me, your heart is in the right place. Your father would only ever want you to be happy, whatever that entails.”

With a deep breath, Mick nods, a content smile crossing his lips. “Thank you. I needed that.”

You give him an encouraging pat, “I’m always in your corner. Remember that it’s not the shadow that defines us but how we emerge from it.”

Mick stands up, ready to face another day, another race. The legacy of his last name will always be there but he’s slowly learning that his own identity holds value and strength too.

Toto Wolff & Christian Horner: Couples Therapy

The sun filters through the sheer curtains of the sophisticated office, casting dancing patterns on the wooden floor. A blend of vanilla and sandalwood wafts through the air, lending to an ambiance of calm. But this illusion is quickly shattered by two animated voices engaged in heated debate, echoing from the hallway. The door flings open to reveal Toto Wolff and Christian Horner, each determined to prove their point even before the session officially starts, and the cameras and sound equipment stationed around the room quickly zero in on them.

You sit in your chair, a hint of amusement in your eyes, as you address them. “Gentlemen, welcome! How about we start by taking our seats?”

Toto and Christian hesitantly sit on the couch, keeping as much distance from each other as possible.

“So,” you begin, trying to contain your laughter, “Drive to Survive mentioned you two might need some ... couples therapy?” You add air quotes for emphasis.

Christian immediately rolls his eyes. “It’s ridiculous! We’re competitors, not some bickering married couple.”

Toto chimes in, “Although he does nag like my grandmother.”

Christian retorts, “Oh please, Toto! The way you carry on, anyone would think you’re auditioning for a soap opera.”

You hold up a hand, “Alright, let’s take a deep breath. We’re here to find common ground.”

The two team principals continue their banter, airing their grievances, from stolen engineers to wind tunnels to secret agreements. You listen, scribbling notes, occasionally nodding or offering a “hmm” of understanding.

After what seems like an eternity, you interrupt their tirade. “Okay, I’ve come to a conclusion. You both are quite the pair. But instead of directing this ... energy at each other, how about a united front? Surely there’s something, or someone, you both dislike equally?”

Christian and Toto exchange glances, a mischievous glint appearing simultaneously. “The producers,” they chorus.

You swear that you can hear the men standing out of camera range behind you — the producers in question — audibly swallow.

You lean in, intrigued. “Go on.”

Toto grins, “They’ve been poking and prodding, trying to get a reaction out of us. It’s why they set this whole thing up in the first place. And while we do love the drama,” he eyes Christian, “maybe it’s time they get a taste of their own medicine.”

Christian nods in agreement, “A united front to give the producers a season they won’t forget.”

You clap your hands together, “Perfect! So what’s the plan?”

As the session concludes, Toto and Christian leave, arms around each other’s shoulders, laughter echoing down the hall.

You lean back in your chair, chuckling. “Well, that was certainly one for the books.”

You turn around to face the Drive to Survive crew already packing their equipment and producers looking shell shocked . You’ve never seen grown men look quite so pale. But they only have themselves to blame — the session was their idea in the first place.

Sometimes you really love your job.

[chaoticlandworlder]

Legit so disgusting how so many ppl are jumping at the chance to criticise Max. In the past few days, I've seen so many social media comments calling him names like 'brat', 'manchild', 'immature' etc. + belittling his racing skills.

So many ppl are also completely spinning their own narrative, acting as if Max is the only driver to ever be heated up during a high-adrenaline race. According to them, Schumi, Senna, Lewis etc. have never lost their cool and always take the blame for every single incident. (Note: this is NOT a hate post ok- any driver examples I use is just to show the hypocrisy of these ppl. I mentioned these drivers cuz it's based off genuine comments I saw.)

First of all, Max had every reason to be upset during the race. The major Hungary updates RBR had been hinting at for weeks underwhelmed (don't give me the 'it's still fast anyway'- this is F1. Every driver and team expects their car to be the fastest, not just fast. If you don't understand that, you don't get the point of F1- an engineering competition. Also RBR has been struggling with the same kerbs issue since 2022.), with Max struggling with various issues during the race.

Additionally, the strategy was not great; Max gave the 1st pitstop decision a pass, but then they repeated it for the 2nd pitstop. RBR was hoping that the tyre delta would salvage the race but c'mon, Christian Horner admitted after the race that they got the data wrong and miscalculated how fast they needed to gap the others cars per lap to overtake. From Max's pov, RBR repeated the mistake of the 1st pitstop, allowing him to be undercut again, by both Lewis and Charles, dropping him back to 5th when he started 3rd, on a track known to be hard to overtake. Furthermore, this race was more a race of undercutting than actual on-track overtakes; one prominent example that showed the power of the undercut in this race was Lando, who was stuck behind Oscar for the vast majority of the race. Yet once they undercut Oscar, Lando ended up 3s+ ahead of Oscar, with the gap increasing to ~5s+ as the laps went on, with Oscar unable to catch up. To make matters worse, Max had told the team that undercutting was impt BEFORE the race. Finally, I love GP (Max's race engineer) but honestly they were just antagonising each other during the race. The most obvious example was the sarcastic remark of 'some gentle introduction' after Max did a fast outlap so that he could catch Charles and Lewis, which just made Max even more frustrated. After which, there was literally radio silence for 15 mins, no communication of modes, gaps etc. Max himself mentioned after the race that it did not help that instead of being a calming presence, they (presumably RBR, including GP) did not listen to him and even argued with him. So this mixture of the team not listening to him, repeating the same mistake twice, underwhelming upgrades and poor communication on the radio contributed to Max frustrations in the car. (Oh but according to crofty (sky sports) it's cuz Max did not get his beauty sleep despite Max having followed his standard sleep schedule. Because sleep outranks good strategy and the best car in F1. 🤡 Kids these days and their simracing.)

Could Max have been more polite? Ideally, ig. But GP too was confrontational when he should have been trying to resolve the issues with Max. Was Max wrong in terms of calling out the strat? No. Also, it's so easy for ppl to judge, lazing on their couch. This is a high adrenaline sport for goodness sake, with millions of dollars on the line and millions of people watching their every move. Randos get pissed off at a slow moving vehicle on a normal road; imagine how it would be to be a racing driver going at ~200mph, with the expectations of the team, fans etc. weighing down on you.

Some are arguing that Red Bull generally does well so Max has no right to be upset. Lol. Idk how ppl don't get it into their heads that this is a SPORT. In every sport, any top performing athelete and team knows that every single match/race/point etc matters. You're not there to say "Oh we've won in the past so let's just throw away some games". You're always there to deliver your best. With this kinda logic, Lewis should also have no right to be upset/disappointed with Mercedes cuz didn't they deliver him a championship winning car for years? Idk lmao this particular line of logic is so weird.

I've also seen so many people saying things along the lines of "Max always complains", "Max can't win without the car"- a really weird one considering one only has to look at the recent races to debunk that, "Max blames everything on the team" etc. Be so fr literally every driver 'complains'. A notable case was Austria 2023, where Toto had to come on the race to tell Lewis to 'just drive the car' because he kept going on about it in multiple races last year. Most of the time they're just giving feedback. When they're genuinely 'complaining', it's often cuz they've been screwed over by their own team. See some cases just in this race alone: Alex on the indecisive tyre choice by Williams, Daniel on the screwed up strat by by VCARB. Max wasn't even wrong about the strat. The comment that 'Max blames everything on the team/ When everything goes well it's him, when it doesn't it's the team' is so laughable because if there is one driver on the grid that is consistent in thanking his team and rarely himself, it's Max. You literally just have to see the previous race, Silverstone 2024 where he could've easily said him making all the right calls to pit was essential to getting P2 in the end. Instead, he gave the credit to the team. He's also quick to apologise when he's in the wrong. See Spa quali 2023 after his outburst in Q2. Or when he bought ice cream for GP a few years back to apologise. Also idk where ppl get the idea Max treats his team like shit? Time and time again, people who worked with him have mentioned how they love working with him. For this particular weekend, he literally treated the team to dinner the night before the race but these ppl will never talk about that. What's said on the radio is in the heat of the moment, which ALL the drivers have done. And Max wasn't wrong either; maybe ideally he would have conveyed it nicer, but again, they're all pumped up on adrenaline.

As for the incident, it wasn't even that bad? It looked bad cuz the wheels touched, making Max's car fly up + cuz it was btwn Max and Lewis, certain 'fans' immediately jumped into their hate frenzy. Idk I find it so weird that people keep harping on about it when Lewis said immediately after the race that it was a racing incident. (Those clowns trying to liken Max to Alonso in Austria 2024 need to rewatch the collisions instead of looking at static pictures is all I can say lol cuz Alonso's was straight up a T-bone while Max-Lewis was a wheel bang.) And anyway, ALL drivers get into incidents no matter their accomplishments (Lewis in Monza 2023, Charles hitting Lando in fp this year, Carlos-Oscar in Miami 2024 etc.). The narrative that Max gets into incidents more than the other drivers is just untrue. In fact, this brings me to my next point. The moment Max is half of any incident, regardless of whether he is at fault, so many scumbags immediately completely trash him like a bunch of rabid dogs. For example, Max-George last year at Las Vegas 2023, where Max was not at fault at ALL; George even admitted he wasn't looking in his mirrors. Or Lap 1 Turn 1 of that same race, where ppl to this day are shitting on Max for 'pushing' Charles off-track- when there was literally an oil spill on his grid spot before the race, making that side slippery despite efforts to clean it up, with others like Alonso and Carlos spinning at the same point Max 'pushed' Charles. His onboard then even showed he tried to steer in but the car didn't budge. Besides, he got a penalty that slowed him down a lot (when Lap 1 Turn 1 incidents don't usually get a penalty- idk how ppl can think the FIA favours him lmfao- and no matter what the haters who prob didn't even watch the race said; serving the penalty in the pitstop dropped Max much further back than just swapping positions would have) AND he apologised to Charles right after the race (but noooo he never takes the blame).

The hate ppl have for Max (and tbh, some other drivers) is honestly quite alarming and weird. Like, these grownass ppl are hating on a 26 year old at the top of his game lol. It doesn't help that the media (especially the British media) feeds, if not started, this hatred frenzy. Just see Austria this year, where the media and 'fans' completely blew the incident between Max and Lando out of the water, only for multiple current and ex F1 drivers to call them out on their bs lmao. Again, for Austria 2024, Lando and Max spoke after the race too. But it doesn't fit their narrative so these ppl will never bother to mention this.

Slight tangent but for ppl who try to justify it by saying 'oh it's how it is cuz Max is dominating'- I understand where yall are coming from (see Seb 2013 lol), but the hatred for Max is particulary overwhelming because there are much more fans now, mainly due to DTS and consequently, F1 becoming popular/more popular on social media platforms like TikTok, Twitter etc. As such, Max is arguably facing higher levels of vitrol, since DTS didn't exactly favour him (understatement of the year lol) and many fans who 'watch' F1 through social media just jump on the hate bandwagon without actually watching races/fact-checking. This is worsened by how the media (mainly the Brit media) jumps at every opportunity to put Max down. Sky Sports in particular, being the main broadcast for most fans, often feeds this hate (esp if David Croft or Ted Kravitz is speaking). Finally, all this is only worsened by how social media allows this hate to circulate much more quickly and widely.

lol sry for the rant but gosh it gets tiring seeing the toxicity of so many F1 'fans'.

[jaydaaasworld]

Between the Laps

a/n never did an f1 fic before and this may not convey things properly

The sound of engines roaring filled the paddock as the Monaco Grand Prix was in full swing. The crowd's cheers echoed through the streets, their excitement palpable. Amidst the chaos and thrill of the race, the stories of Carlos Sainz Jr. and (Y/N) (L/N) intertwined in a blend of fluff and angst that transcended the boundaries of the track.

Chapter 1: A Chance Encounter

Carlos Sainz Jr. had always loved Monaco. The narrow streets, the glamorous yachts, and the undeniable challenge of the circuit made it his favorite. But this year, something felt different. As he walked through the paddock, he noticed (Y/N) (L/N), a new engineer on his team, standing by his car, staring intently at the data on her tablet.

(Y/N) was new to the team, and though they had exchanged pleasantries, Carlos felt a strange pull towards her. It was as if there was something more beneath the surface, something unspoken.

"Hey, (Y/N)," Carlos greeted, trying to sound casual.

(Y/N) looked up, her eyes meeting his with a warm smile. "Hi, Carlos. How's it going?"

"Good, good. Just thought I'd see how you're settling in."

(Y/N) nodded, her gaze returning to the tablet. "It's a bit overwhelming, but I'm getting there. Everyone's been really helpful."

Carlos smiled, sensing the hint of vulnerability in her voice. "If you ever need anything, or just want to talk, you know where to find me."

(Y/N) looked up again, her eyes filled with gratitude. "Thanks, Carlos. I appreciate it."

The paddock was a bustling place, filled with team members, journalists, and fans all mingling in the pre-race frenzy. Carlos found himself watching (Y/N) more than he intended to. She was efficient, focused, and seemed to have an innate understanding of the car's mechanics. He admired her dedication and passion for her work.

Days turned into weeks, and Carlos and (Y/N) found themselves crossing paths frequently. Their conversations grew longer, moving from work-related topics to personal stories. They discovered a mutual love for Spanish cuisine, a shared interest in hiking, and a surprising knack for late-night philosophical debates.

One evening, after a particularly grueling day at the track, Carlos and (Y/N) found themselves alone in the team garage. The sun had set, casting long shadows over the paddock. The sounds of the day had faded, leaving a peaceful silence in their wake.

Carlos leaned against his car, watching as (Y/N) meticulously checked the tire pressure. "You know, I've been meaning to ask you something," he said, breaking the silence.

(Y/N) looked up, curiosity in her eyes. "What is it?"

"Why engineering?" Carlos asked. "What drew you to this field?"

(Y/N) smiled, a distant look in her eyes. "When I was a kid, I used to take apart anything I could get my hands on—radios, clocks, even my dad's old car. I loved figuring out how things worked. My parents encouraged me to pursue my passion, and I ended up studying mechanical engineering. Formula One was a natural fit for me. The challenge, the speed, the precision—it all excites me."

Carlos nodded, impressed. "That's incredible. It takes a lot of dedication and passion to make it in this sport."

(Y/N) shrugged modestly. "I just love what I do. And being part of a team like this, working with people who share that passion—it's a dream come true."

Carlos's admiration for (Y/N) grew with each passing day. He found himself looking forward to their conversations, to the moments when they could steal away from the chaos of the track and just be themselves.

[whalesongsblog]

I beg you

Use all your whale knowledge and make a nerdy little marine biologist au with omi and Mira please I beg

I want all the whale facts, cute fluffy sweetness

okay. omg, first of all- this was the sweetest, loveliest thing to ask. I’m so genuinely flattered like you have no idea.

that being said- did I go overboard (ha) on this one? Maybe. but marine science is my greatest passion in life and I got carried away 😭✋🏾

I hope you like it!!!!

Megaptera novaeangliae

“We should have low swell for the rest of the day. Wind speed isn’t supposed to kick up over 12 knots, and hopefully the conditions can be classified at level 5.” Sweeping her wild mess of ink-black hair into a ponytail, Dr. Miradevi Lakshmi tucked a baseball cap sporting the letters ‘NOAA’ over her unruly locks. “Sound good?”

“Sure.” Her intern, Isaac, was a bright eyed fellow whose work lived up to the usual starry credentials. Bless his heart, the boy got things done.

He nodded and scribbled quick notes into a battered notebook, brows furrowed slightly. “The hydrophones are on deck- yes, they are covered with towels. We have the GPS in the equipment cooler, and the first data sheet is ready to go.”

A gentle, cool breeze swept through the port, the pale blue waters of the Pacific coast lapping against the docked research vessel. The RV Davidson was a beautiful ship, just her speed. Not large enough to get lost on, but not small enough that one breaching whale would send the crew overboard- which had happened once, surprisingly.

“And-“ the intern’s lips curled into a grin. He opened up the bulky clipboard storage box, readjusting the mess of papers and pencils in it with a knowing air. “You have a data transcriber with you .”

“Please tell me they’re not saddling me with one of those university kids again.” Mira said, wary. “Much love to them, but their eardrums are atrocious. I’ve had to go back and re-write so much data.” She leaned closer, her voice lowering conspiratorially. “One of them heard a B- call clear as day and logged it as as ship noise.”

“It’s because we listen to music so loud, it blows our eardrums out of whack.” Isaac said sagely. “But you don’t have to worry about that. You’re getting a pretty good guy from what I know.” He gestured, and Miradevi turned around.

The telltale rattle of a roller against wood instantly gave the ‘pretty good guy’ away.

Shit.

Her gaze caught the figure strolling towards her, White Cane in hand. Mira took a shaky inhale, willing down the tidal wave of emotion the swept through her.

Say something. Don’t stand there and gape like a fish. Say something- 
“Well, look who it is.”

… Idiot.

“I’m quite unable to do that, darling.” Dr. Ominis Gaunt stood before her, and the air between them simmered.

“Hello, Mira.”

Miradevi stiffened at hearing her name on his lips, his lilting voice washing up a slew of memories that were best kept locked away in a tiny little box in her head.

“Ominis.” She returned, reaching out for a handshake. She could be cordial. She could be professional. “It’s wonderful to have you with us again.”

Ominis gave her a slow smile as his hand dwarfed hers, the familiarity of the gesture almost crumbling her resolve. To make matter worse, his touch wandered to her shoulder, down her hip. The soft fabric of her t- shirt snagged under his touch, a trail of sparks left in the wake of his roaming fingertips.

“Taking advantage of California’s sunny weather?”

Mira pulled away, needing quite a lot of effort to do so. “I’m not the only one. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wearing cargo before.”

“A necessary evil.” Ominis flashed her a grin, adjusting the black sunglasses that perched on his nose. “But I daresay I’m doing it justice.”

Mira tried not to let her gaze catch on the open top buttons of his cotton shirt, or the way the sunlight illuminated every handsome angle of his face.

Despite being in the United States for a decent amount of time now, Ominis had not lost an ounce of his refined British accent- another thing she tried to push away from her mind.

“Come on.” Mira managed. “We’re leaving port soon, and I can’t leave my precious equipment in my intern’s grubby little paws.”

“Hey!” 

“I’m joking, Isaac. You’re doing great.” Miradevi offered him a quick smile. Her arm almost raised to loop with Ominis’ as he readjusted the grip on his cane. Almost.

She lowered it the second she realized what she was doing, and awkwardly gestured for him to follow her onto the vessel. It seemed the universe was out to get her in one way or the other- perhaps this was payment for the weather conditions being miraculously perfect.

“I read your paper, Dr. Lakshmi.” Ominis’ voice lowered to a murmur. Seagulls cried overhead and the clamor of fishermen, researchers, and tourists bustling around the ports muted to a dull echo. “On climate change influencing poleward shifts in the migration patterns of Grey whales. It was.. fascinating.”

Her response was less than enthused.

“…Yeah.” Her words were quiet, heavy with bitter dissapointment. “It was- it was fun to write.”

Ominis paused just short of the gangplank, gripping Mira’s upper arm. “Don’t do that.” His voice was quiet, but firm. “Not this again. Look-“ Ominis tilted his head slightly. “Is anyone around?”

Mira darted her gaze over the deck, before shaking her head. 
“No. But-“

Ominis cut her off, his voice low.

“You are making an impact, Mira. I promise. No legislative action can be taken without data, and without the work we do, policy has no legs to stand on. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but it doesn’t seem to register with you how important the works we do is-“

Mira turned to face him, the wind sweeping pieces of her hair out of her ponytail. She fought the urge to snap back, old emotions returning full force at the familiar dance they were falling into. He seemed to know it too, his shoulder stiffening as she began to talk, his lips setting in a thin line.

“The Atlantic is exploding in boundary conflicts over who gets to plunder Tuna stocks before they move into some other countries’ geographic jurisdiction.” She turned away at the look on Ominis’ face, not wanting to see the irritation in his eyes. “Trade wars over who gets to decimate commercial- and highly endangered, mind you- fish populations first, and here I am writing another goddamn paper that’ll sit somewhere collecting digital dust.”

“Is that really what you think you’re doing?” Ominis snapped as he followed her into the ship, his cane feeling for obstacles in his path. “What we’re doing? That it’s useless to do the sort of research we do?” 

“No, of course n- that’s not what I’m saying.” Mira pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m just saying that the things we do need to go further. We can’t stop at producing the data and hoping someone in Congress will do something about it. Gods know they barely read the memos we send them-“

“I know. Trust me, I know. But- gods, we’ve talked about this, Rara. You’d be giving up everything you’ve worked for to do what? Play kindergarden teacher for a bunch of legislators that need to be walked through the reasons that climate change is real? It’s a waste of your intelligence.”

“Thankfully you don’t really have any ground to give me life advice, Ominis.” Mira hissed, stung. “What I do with my career is my business. Not yours.”

Her mild surprise at his silence was short lived because the next thing she knew, he had pushed her into one of the cabins, slamming the door shut behind them. A table stood in the corner by the porthole, a chunky laptop sprouting wires firmly attached to it. 
Ominis snatched the sunglasses off his face, folding them and tossing them onto the table where they fell with a clatter. Mira took a step back, faltering at the glint in his star- streaked eyes. 


“Not my business?” He growled, stalking forwards. “I think you’ll find that what you do is, in fact, very much my business.”

“Is that why you turned and left the second we got back on land after the Antarctica mission?” Miradevi asked drily. “Also, you’re not exactly giving off intimidating vibes right now, Mr. Cargo Pants.”

“You were the one telling me that you weren’t interested-“

“I- I was interested! I was very much interested, I didn’t know you needed more proof on top of all the things we did on that ship!”

“You- frustrating, aggravating woman.” Ominis snarled, striding forwards. “You were scared. You were scared and it threw me off, and I was stupid enough to believe that you preferred me out of your life. But I know that’s not true anymore.”

“Presumtuous of you. And things have changed, clearly.”

Ominis gave a low, derisive laugh.

“Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me the truth, and say that you’re scared to go all in and explore what we have.” He took another step closer. His hand reached up and brushed her face, tentative.

Miradevi fought not to lean into his touch, her lashes fluttering slightly.

“Mira.”

He spoke her name like a caress. “Tell me.” Ominis repeated, voice softer. “And I’ll walk away.”

“I-“ Mira paused, head spinning wildly. The fact that she was here to do research was quickly taking a back bench, which was unnacceptable. “Ominis. Not now, alright? Please. Let’s just talk about this later.”

Dr. Ominis Gaunt listened as the woman he was madly in love with gathered her things and swept from the small cabin room, the iron door slamming behind her.

“Fuck.” He hissed, frustration lacing his voice as he dragged a hand through his hair. “Fuck.”

xxxxxxxxxxxx

“The UAVs are picking up Humpback whales about a hundred meters at our three o’clock.” Captain Sharp of the RS Davidson pointed out the drone footage on their screens. The ship pitched slightly from a rolling wave and Mira gripped the edge of a desk, squinting at the computer.

“That’s a pod, with two potential Young of the Years. Can we head for their direction? We’ll kill the engines when we reach within a few yards, and I’ll deploy the hydrophones.”

“Are they travelling?” Ominis leaned back, arms crossed. His mind still hung on the heated words he’d exchanged with the other marine biologist- the way her breathing hitched as his hands brushed over her face.

“No, they’re- ah, that’s cute.” Mira’s voice softened, taking on that tone he knew so well. The soft, reverent lilt in her voice that one might use when speaking to a baby. “They’re spyhopping.”

There was a reason Mira had a bit of a reputation in the cetacean research community. Tagging whales was notoriously difficult, and collecting acoustic data was a hit or miss. Unless you had Dr. Lakshmi on board. Then, somehow, the gentle giants would behave beautifully, the spectograms thrumming with their songs echoing through the vast ocean. Mira brushed the praise off with a blush and a muttered excuse, but Ominis knew better.

She loved whales, beyond anything. They were her pride and joy, the sole focus of her career, her life. She’d told him that they were just returning the adoration she had for them.

Once, one of the many occasions they’d ended up tangled in bed together, he’d pulled her closer and joked that she’d go and live in the ocean with a pod of whales if she could.

“Endlessly swimming the vast oceans, singing to each other.” He’d murmured, tracing his fingertips along the curve of her hip, along her upper thigh. “You’d love that, I bet.”

Her eyes had unfocused slightly, gazing off as she thought about it.

“…Yeah.” She agreed, voice quiet. “I really would.”

“Isaac, get Dr. Gaunt a pair of headphones, please.”

“Oh, yeah- of course.” Isaac darted off, balancing against the swell of waves gently rocking the ship as he rustled in the equipment cooler for an extra pair. Jogging back, he handed it to Ominis and quickly plugged it into the hydrophone equipment.

“Thank you.” Ominis murmured, clicker at the ready. Another scientist sat on a low bench, pen poised over paper. Ominis pressed the headphones over his ears, waiting for the telltale crackle of the equipment turning on.

“There.” Mira brushed her hands off, pulling back from where she had leaned almost dangerouly close over the ships railing, deploying the mic underwater and dialing up the volume on the connected radio. Ominis’ headphones washed to life with a burst of static, then-

He closed his eyes, not that it made a difference. But his shoulders relaxed as the sound of the ocean filled his most trusted sense. Rapid clicks, snaps, and pops- the distant thrum of the engine, the occasional thump of some geological shift in the cracked volcanoes and rifts far beneath the surface. And-

there. The sound he’d been waiting for.

Ominis pressed the clicker once. “Upsweep.” He murmured, as his words were hastily recorded. “Repeating phrases- it’s a pod of mostly males. They’re not too far, and are possibly feeding.”

Miradevi snuck a glance through her binoculars, catching sight of the pod of whales. She whistled softly, impressed. “And they call me the whale whisperer. The title should go to you, Dr. Gaunt. You’re practically speaking their language.”

Ominis laughed softly, barely hearing her words over the sounds of the ocean through the headphones. “High praise, Dr. Lakshmi.” He murmured softly. He wanted to take her wrist and tug her down to sit beside him, to kiss every inch of her exposed neck and draw those soft gasps of his name from her lips-

He shook his head, blinking. His thumb snapped down on the clicker again. “Social call. Possibly a whup or a growl, I didn’t quite get it.”

“Did it have an upsweep?”

“I’ll have to go back and listen to it again.”

Focus.

Ominis shifted slightly, brows furrowed. Focus.

There was a sharp huff, accompanied by the splash of water- and a Humpback surfaced beside the ship, exhaling a puff of water vapor before slipping back down beneath the waves.

And Mira’s delighted laugh carried over his headphones, burrowing into his heart.

xxxxxxxxxx

Miradevi scrubbed her eyes slightly, her vision blurring. The jagged, colorful graphs of the spectogram were hurting her eyes at this point, the peaks melting together in a headache-inducing mess. She slipped off her glasses and winced at the sharp pain in her head, the uncomfortable throb behind her ears from wearing the headset for so long.

She groaned softly at the knock on her cabin door, massaing her temples. 
“I’m sleeping. Unless you have a cup of hot chocolate and an Advil, then I’ll tolerate the disturbance.”

“Hot chocolate, yes. Advil, no.” Ominis nudged open her door, letting it shut behind him as he took a seat beside her. “Looking over the data?”

“Mm.” Miradevi gratefully accepted the warm cup, the scent of chocolate soothing her frayed neurons. “They were chatty today.” She took a sip, leaning back in her chair. The silence stretched for a moment, before she hazarded an attempt at breaking it.

“You’ve recorded everything beautifully, as usual. I don’t know how you manage to hear every little thing, but-“

“Makes up for not being able to see, I suppose.”

“Ha.”

The faint roar of the engine droned in the background, accompanied by the rush of water cleaving around the ship.

“I thought you wanted nothing to do with me after Antarctica.” Mira’s voice was quiet. “And even if I was wrong- Ominis, we’d never work. I’m thinking about restructuring my career, your job at Duke is going great- what if we mess it all up?”

Ominis was silent for a moment. 
“Whale songs can travel 10,000 miles underwater.” He finally said, without preamble. His voice was quiet, his gaze fixed slightly to the left of the port window. “They used to be able to hear each other across entire oceans, before humans came in with our… noise. Our drilling, our military equipment testing, our SONAR. Now, they probably can’t hear across those vast distances anymore.”

“… Right.” Mira said, brows furrowed. “Anthropogenic noise pollution. It’s a pretty big conservation concern.”

“I feel like- I’m saying things but you’re not hearing me, Rara.” Ominis finally turned to face her. “And there’s no noise between us. There never has been. What are you not hearing, my love?”

A lump tightened her throat, a sudden burn of tears in her eyes as Ominis took her hands, leaning closer. “Listen to me. I- you are- everything, to me. Do what you want with your career, Mira. I’ll be the wind under your wings, I swear it. I just- I can’t do this.” He laughed, but it wavered slightly. “I’d be another 52 Hertz without you, love.”

“Oh, don’t you dare.” Mira whispered, her voice cracking. A mix of amusement and emotion caught her voice as she tried to speak. “You can’t get me in my feelings by using the 52 Hertz whale, that’s unfair.”

“Ah, well- what can I say? That’s what I am without you, my heart.” Ominis pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. “As I said before- say no, and I swear I’ll walk away. But I have to ask, Mira. Please.” He stood, gently tugging her to her feet.

“Let me ask.”

The terrifying part was that she knew her answer. Since the moment he’d kissed her in a flurry of joy at capturing precious data on elusive Fin whales in Antarctica. She knew.

“Take a chance.” Ominis murmured. “Let us try. I won’t let it crash and burn, I promise.”

His heart slammed against his ribs as her breathing wavered, her fingers reaching up to fist in the fabric of his shirt. 
“Mira-“

“Ominis.”

She surged forwards, her lips capturing his. A breathless gasp escaped him, his hands falling to her hips, tugging her closer. 

“That’s it.” He breathed, kissing her again, again, again- “My stunning, incredible girl-“

“Promise me it won’t go bad. Promise me we’ll be happy.” It felt like a childish question- a juvenile request in the face of something they couldn’t control. But Ominis nodded, his forehead resting against hers, barely able to hold himself back as he felt her soft huffs of air against his lips.

She tasted like chocolate.

“I promise we’ll be happy. And if- if anything ever happens-“ he kissed her again, relishing in her sharp intake of breath. “We’re scientists. Problem solving is our forte.”

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Mira gestured at the slideshow, the meticulously arranged graphs laid out before her. Ominis stood beside her at the head of the conference table, head tilted slightly as he heard her speak.

“Data that we have collected through our research cruises show that Blue whales are moving further towards busy shipping channels as the waters get warmer. They seek out colder, nutrient- rich water closer to the coasts and run the risk of entanglement with fishing gear, or getting struck by ships. We have an easy fix here-“

“Dr. Lakshmi, the global economy is run on maritime trade. We cannot compromise the income generated from the smooth running of our commercial vessles for- whales.”

Ominis bristled, lips curling slightly into a snarl. “Then it is a good thing we are not suggesting bringing shipping activity to a screeching halt, sir.”

Laying a gentle hand on his shoulder, Mira gave what she hoped was a winning smile to the man who’d spoken up. Getting a group of business executives and government officials to do anything was like herding cats. Bespoke-suit- wearing, very uncooperative cats. And it didn’t help that Ominis was rapidly losing his patience with them.

“What my colleague-“

“Fiance.”

Miradevi nudged him slightly, but couldn’t do anything about the grin on her face or the heat on her neck.

“Right. My fiance. What he means, what we are trying to say- is that there is a solution. We establish Traffic Separation Schemes, and keep ships away from known whale migration paths. It would also increase maritime safety, and reduce risk of ship collision.”

Silence, from the men in the room.

“How much will this cost us, Dr. Lakshmi?” Congressman- well, she hoped his name would not come up because she’d forgotten it already- spoke up, folding his arms across his chest. “Rerouting ships, establishing new routes? Do you have approval from the IMO?”

“Yes, sir. And from NOAA, as well as the National Marine Sanctuaries. A few shipping companies are also on board, based on preliminary surveys. We just need your cooperation.”

Please. Mira crossed her fingers behind her back. Please, please-

With a snap of the black folders before them and a rustle of fabric, the assembled members in the conference room stood. The congressman whose name she still did not remember nodded slightly wearily, and shook her hand. “Very well, Dr. Lakshmi. Dr. Gaunt.” He nodded at Ominis, who gave him a wry smile. “We look forward to your cooperation on this endeavour.”

“Wh- thank you. And- yes, we- we’ll be in touch.” Mira tried to calm the slam of her heart against her ribs, the ecstasy pounding through her veins.

Ominis shook the congressman’s hand, practically feeling Mira’s waves of hyperactive energy, her joy at getting something done. As soon as everyone had filed from the room, she laughed, breathless, and he lifted her into his arms as a grin curled his lips.

“Congratualations, my love.” He murmured, peppering kisses along her neck. “What shall we do to celebrate your first big win?” 

“Maybe my future husband can take me to the aquarium?”

He heard the smile in her voice, and fell in love with her all over again.


“He certainly can. And a long walk on the beach afterwards?”

“While looking for weirdly shaped seashells?”

Ominis laughed, almost dizzy from how much he adored her.

“Of course, my love. Of course.”

xxxxxxxx

The sun burned a brilliant orange as it dipped over the sky. Mira was a few paces ahead of Ominis as she examined the wet sand, digging for little creatures and shells to bring back to him.

As stars began to shine in the darkening sky, and the promise of returning to their shared flat together hung in the horizon, Mira allowed herself a moment to relish in the peace of what she feared she’d never have.

But Ominis was her peace. A song, reaching across an expanse of ocean to find her, and draw her back home.

Somewhere, the boundless ocean echoed with the haunting melodies of the largest animals in the world- songs of their love, joy, and fear resonant in their undecipherable music. A hidden testimony of a world so far beyond our own, wrapped in a language only the vast sea will ever know.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

AN: AAAAA I HOPE I DID YOUR ASK JUSTICE! Its my first writing ask omg

Anyways uhhh whales make me SO emotional I love them so much. If anyone wants to yap about the ocean or marine animals, feel free.

Marine biologist Ominis my BELOVED. I feel like he’d be an incredible acoustician

[hestzhyen]

WSJ 2024 Musings

Please pardon the self-indulgence, kind void. It's the end of the year and I give almost everything that the magazine runs a chance, so I wanna reflect on the 2024 Weekly Shounen Jump "experience". Behold the kind of hobby data I track in spreadsheets (yes I'm a lonely person, please no bully).

Format

Title (start month/year, # of chapters) - thoughts & impressions. Each category sorted from oldest title -> newest

Axed (U19 or Close Enough)

Martial Master Asumi (06/23, 32 chapters) - I liked this and I genuinely don't understand why it didn't succeed. Nito and Nao were a great duo, the sport was lovingly depicted, and the story was unfolding at a great clip while being easy to follow despite me not knowing a damn thing about MMA. Nito was kind of annoying with how hesitant he was, but he was getting a lot better right before the series was cancelled. Chalking this up to Japan's shit taste I guess.

MamaYuyu (09/23, 29 chapters) - REEEEE I LOVED THIS except for the uninspired magic system and harem elements (Minerva best girl by the way). Also had a distinct lack of Mama Yuyu despite her being in the title. The horror aspects of this were amazing though and I hope the author does a spooky series. He really has a talent for depicting the unnerving.

Two on Ice (09/23, 28 chapters) - sports series have to be super gay or super good in premise to get me to read them and this didn't qualify on either point. Not sure what I missed but guess it wasn't much.

Green Green Greens (11/23, 26 chapters) - same as above and lol golf, good luck in a magazine mostly aimed at a school-age demographic (not even the Kuroko no Basuke guy could make it work).

Shadow Eliminators (12/23, 19 chapters) - a really rough start and bad pacing combined with a generic premise killed this from the get-go, I think. It's unfortunate because the author was really cooking by putting a guy in the heroine role (listen, I have my priorities and I won't apologise for them). MC-kun's story was actually interesting too and I would have liked to see it play out longer. At least he and the heroine guy went to the cultural festival together at the end, which is easily construed as romantic when it's just two people. Oh and the ninja girl who talked through a paper bag hand puppet was super cute.

Dear Anemone (02/24, 17 chapters) - fuck you, I liked it. I love dark body horror and this was really interesting despite some jumbled storytelling once the secondary characters were introduced. Probably would have seen more success in a different magazine... or I'm just coping hard. MC-kun was also totally in love with the Best Friend Guy that he admired so much and no one can convince me otherwise.

Kyokuto Necromance (04/24, 18 chapters) - I feel bad for this author. I liked Aliens Area too, and it breaks my heart that he sounded so defeated in his final author's comments when this got cancelled. I hope he tries again because he has good ideas and characters- they just need more time to get off the ground than WSJ typically allows.

Psych House (05/24, 17 chapters) - it was cute and I read it to the end, but it was deservedly cut short for being boring as hell most of the time. I hated the little scientist girl with every fibre of my being too which didn't help since she was a recurring character. I think there were only one or two chapters I actually enjoyed and I kept reading mostly because Nemuru (bucket kid) was a really well-done portrayal of autism. Just read the chapters where MC-chan's friends stalk her and Bucket-kun around town and the one where they go out shopping for pajamas for Bucket-kun. They're the best and only really worthwhile parts of this series (not even MC-chan's drama with her mom was compelling despite the very solid premise).

Yokai Buster Murakami (06/24, 21 chapters) - knew this wasn't for me right away, and seems like a lot of Japanese readers agreed. The jokes in the first three chapters weren't particularly funny or unique so I dropped it pretty fast. Everyone who thought it was "safe" because it was in the last slot as a comedy series probably shouldn't make bets or predictions in 2025.

Finished Series

Boku no Hero Academia (07/14, 430 chapters) - I think this is the last manga of it's kind in WSJ. The end of this series means an end to the mindset of extending a popular series until it runs out of steam (One Piece is a completely different beast in it's own league). All the big hit series in recent times like JJK and KnY were allowed to tell faster, shorter stories and Kagurabachi -the next mega-hit in waiting- is poised to challenge it's predecessor's speed run statistics. But I don't think BnHA overstayed it's welcome despite dropping it a few times due to lack of interest over the years. I have issues with the execution on main themes, how certain powers were handled, and the ending felt too rushed but it really wasn't a bad series at the end of the day. It deserved the popularity and I'll be interested if the author starts up something new. Shout out to Deku and Ochako for not being a horrible couple too- they had some genuine chemistry between them, which is unusual for a WSJ series.

Jujutsu Kaisen (03/18, 271 chapters) - I'm freeeeeee. Only slightly jesting. I feel bad for the author since he was in poor health by the end and clearly just wanted to end it, but I don't miss waiting to see how a fight turned out. JJK did that thing I dislike where characters biff and bam around a battlefield for eons without significant character development, so I read it in bursts instead of weekly until the last arc. The explanations of powers was clunky, some significant plot points weren't sufficiently followed up on for my tastes (mostly around Yuuji and his "brothers")... it was a bit of a mess of a manga but the ideas the author was trying to express were very good. I love how Yuuji got through to Megumi in the end, and what Megumi wished for, how Gojo saw himself, the blatant SatoSugu stuff, the idiot twins dynamic between Yuuji and Nobara- there was a lot of excellence in this series that got hampered by the sub-par battles. I hope Gege can rest and come back if he's still interested in doing so.

Cipher Academy (11/22, 58 chapters) - this ran a little too long to say it was "axed" but it was definitely cut shorter than the author intended. I like Nisioisin for more than his Monogatari Series stuff and I was hoping this would would stay longer, but alas. Iroha was great and I loved the unsexualized, un-haremized(?) female cast that surrounded him. I was too stupid to follow most of the codes and puzzles but that didn't stop me from checking in every week to see what went down. I also have the deepest respect for the various people who translated this series every week because it was absolute hell for them to do it even with some extra time afforded. Doing a good Nisioisin series translation without a book's worth of TL notes is already a feat, never mind trying to translate one involving tons of Japanese-language specific cryptograms and puzzles.

Limbo Series

Mission: Yozakura Family (08/19, 256+ chapters) - I'll admit I've never read this. All I know is that the jokes of it being so middling that it gets forgotten in every type of list are true because I also almost forgot to put it here. Apparently it's ending soon, so I hope the fans of it get a satisfying conclusion.

Undead Unluck (01/20, 236+ chapters) - I read this for a bit, dropped it, and don't remember why so I guess it wasn't worth following after all. Not to say it's bad, just not my speed I guess. Another series that's ending soon so I hope it goes out on a high note for the people who like it.

Kill Blue (04/23, 83+ chapters) - I tried to like this one, I really did. But I think the author would do better to stick to gay sports series that aren't golf. The premise was iffy for me but I was willing to roll with it until everything got bogged down in the haunted house arc and I dropped it out of boredom. The only notable thing this series has done done is daughterzone the middle school girl to the mid-40's(?) MC, which shouldn't be a relief but, y'know. It's not selling too hot so we'll see how long the author can coast off of the mega success of his Magical Gay Basketball series and the general lack of strong competition for spots in WSJ right now.

Nue's Exorcist (05/23, 80+ chapters) - never read this because I'm not into ecchi harem battle manga, but hope it's satisfying the people who do like it. Also not doing stellar in sales but it's not in a lot of danger either.

New Additions Still Running

Super Psychic Policeman Chojo (02/24, 44+ chapters) - I was a fan of Samon the Summoner so I gave this a chance, but it's too skewed towards referential comedy for my tastes. I do love this author's scumbag MCs though. It's not doing great or terrible in sales (for a comedy series) so far, so it's anyone's guess how long it'll last. It won't be overtaking Roboco any time soon though. Hope the Kochikame collab next issue gives it a boost to close the gap a little just because I like the author.

Astro Royale (04/24, 35+ chapters) - I was intrigued and willingly following along with this until chapter 8, at which point I dropped it like a shit-covered brick. The really unfunny transphobic "jokes" about a femme bad guy and dated gender role BS for the sister that was introduced have blacklisted this author for me forever. I don't care how much I liked the rest of the supporting cast, I don't care if the author writes a series that sells a billion copies with a single volume- I'm never going to give him a chance again unless he makes an effort to improve on how he treats women and trans people in his works (as if he'd care, I know). It's another series that isn't doing great in sales but probably isn't going to be axed imminently because it's still selling better than other stuff.

Ultimate Exorcist Kiyoshi (06/24, 26+ chapters) - please read this, it's got so much heart and soul! It's definitely not a perfect series -the action's nothing to write home about and the story isn't original- but the characters are top-tier and this author knows how to play with reader expectations. It feels like an earnest love letter to the essence of shounen manga that's just about found it's footing with the most recent chapters. Kiyoshi's in the same boat as Astro in terms of sales- not great, but it's being given room to see if it grows or treads water. I hope it grows because this is a joy to read almost every week.

Hima-Ten! (07/24, 24+ chapters) - the best way I can describe this after dropping it at chapter 2 is "ToraDora for people who don't want to read ToraDora in [current year]". Unfortunately I don't want to see ecchi of high school girls, so the panty shot in the second chapter made it clear this series isn't for me. It goes in the bin of "hope it does well for the target audience" titles. It's seeing some modest success, but it's got a long way to go if it wants to reach the same tier as Nisekoi and BokuBen (We Never Learn).

Ichi the Witch (09/24, 16+ chapters) - I trust the Iruma author with my life, and the artist also being a woman helped me believe that this wouldn't be a male power fantasy series despite the premise. So far it's delivered with phenomenal art and characters and a story that's just interesting enough to keep it in my mind. I do appreciate the author and artist's intentional additions of diversity through Desscaras (best girl no contest) and what could be some trans femme and/or gender non-conforming folks in a position of power. Will be looking to see how volume 1 sales fare when it comes out early next year. WSJ wants this to be a hit with the billing it gets already, though, so I hope it meets expectations!

Shinobi Undercover (09/24, 15+ chapters) - I'm honestly not sure how to feel about this series. The MC is fun to follow, and I like the main girl well enough, but it feels like this series isn't sure how to strike a balance between action and romcom plot beats. I think if it doesn't hit it's stride soon it could be in trouble. Happy to be wrong even if I end up dropping it though!

Hakutaku (09/24, 14+ chapters) - this is dead in the water and it kind of deserves to be. It's cute but there's not much else to say about it since it glosses over the interesting bits of game development and goes for emotional and cool moments that it doesn't build up enough to earn. I think the author has a passion for indie game dev but it's just not coming across that well with all the yapfests and skimming the technical bits. Then again, I'm a tech person that gets annoyed when my hobby/career/interest is simplified for non-tech people in ways I don't like, so... maybe I'm just elitist? Either way, I don't see this making it out of the U19 club with how poorly it's been doing in surveys and rankings. RIP hope the author isn't discouraged and I'll see this one out to the end.

Syd Craft: Love is a Mystery (11/24, 6+ chapters) - Bit too early to say how this one's faring, but it seems like a competent romcom. It's not a genre I like most of the time so I won't be reading further than chapter 4 but surely the BokuBen author will have another banger with this. Surely. I do like the MC at least. But it doesn't seem like it will satisfy anyone who wants actual mysteries to solve- it's a series that's firmly planted in the romcom territory while using Sherlock Holmes aesthetics for comedy.

Safe Series

One Piece (07/97, 1134+ chapters) - what is there to say about a legend? It's the face of the magazine and feels like it will be around forever despite Oda saying he wants to end it at some point. I don't have it in me to catch up with it but I respect the hell out of this series for it's popularity and longevity.

Me and Roboco (07/20, 215+ chapters) - I feel like too many jokes are lost in translation to fully appreciate this as someone who really only understands English, sadly. But it has an impressive run for a comedy series and shows no signs of slowing down any time soon. If your series gets a Roboco parody, you know you've made it.

Sakamoto Days (11/20, 195+ chapters) - the action never fails to disappoint! Even if the story gets boring at points, there's always some killer art to look forward to. I'm also really digging the current arc so it's good vibes all around for this series right now. Just wish the author could decide on how far he wants to stretch realism when it comes to people's assassin techniques. It's got an anime airing in the 2025 Winter season so I hope that brings in new fans (and has good direction and animation, which is vital to sell those stunning action scenes).

The Elusive Samurai (01/21, 185+ chapters) - I'll admit it, this is a series that I'm not worldly enough to appreciate. Historical fiction is a tough sell to me to begin with and being bombarded with completely unfamiliar names, locations, and events every chapter left me feeling pretty lost. I stuck with it for a while just because I liked AssClass and Neuro so much but I had to admit defeat around chapter 60 or so. Maybe the anime would be easier to digest?

Witch Watch (02/21, 184+ chapters) - dropped it early on since it's a romcom, but it seems cute and is doing well so I hope it stays successful for it's fans. Anime soon!

Blue Box (04/21) - I liked the one-shot and the author deserves all the success from the little I've read of this. Again, not my genre, but glad to see it doing well. Hope the anime is a hit too!

Akane-banashi (02/22, 140+ chapters) - easily would be #1 for me if not for a certain edgy sword manga. The art, the story, the characters- everything comes together perfectly to weave a compelling narrative that is absolutely an odd fit for WSJ, but enriches the magazine for being present. Everyone needs to read this series! It's crazy how consistently amazing it is! You don't have to know a thing about rakugou to get invested and fall in love. The current arc in particular has been 10/10 chapters for months now and I can't recommend it enough!

*Ruri Dragon (06/22, 26+ chapters) - another "not my thing" series- I tried it before it went on hiatus and it's alright, apparently very good for people who like Slice of Life and cozy coming-of-age stories. Glad the author's feeling better and is able to keep going.

Kagurabachi (09/23, 63+ chapters) - ...do I need to say anything? I don't write hundreds of thousands of words for any series but this one. It took over my brain and I've been completely enthralled for months now- it quite literally occupies almost every waking thought. Much like Akane-banashi, all the core elements come together in an incredibly satisfying way that makes it a must-read for fans of the genre it belongs to. The action is stellar, the characters are phenomenal, the story is blisteringly fast but still being competently told for the most part, and the way sensitive topics are handled should be held up as a model for other authors to follow. If you only read one manga in WSJ, you're missing out. But make it Kagurabachi.

*Digital Exclusive (not printed in the physical magazine)

Hiatus x Hiatus

Hunter x Hunter (03/98, 410+ chapters) - I love this series, I really do. Togashi's the only author who can get me to read his novel when I signed up for a manga. I always look forward to it's return and I hope the author's health holds up long enough for him to end it in a way he's happy with. Re-reading the current arc in full when it's finished will be a fun few week's worth of political gamesmanship!

Overall Thoughts

The magazine's in an interesting period of transition right now. Many of the new series launched this year aren't generating a lot of buzz, big and middling series have ended or are ending soon, and the near-future age demographics in Japan pose some serious questions about what WSJ will do to adapt and keep selling.

The magazine is nowhere close to being in dire straits, to be clear. WSJ is more of a publication for all ages that has a lot of appeal to 12-17 year old boys at it's core. But that demographic is shrinking while the aging population grows. I think this is why the magazine is experimenting with more mature series like Kagurabachi and Chainsaw Man from a few years back- they know they can't keep the same raw sales numbers up if they rely on the core demographic as much as they used to.

The dearth of mainstay mega-hits compared to years past is also why some series like Kiyoshi and Astro are being given more grace than if they had ran a few years earlier. Neither series is doing great in terms of volume sales, but they're not obviously unpopular enough to be easy axes for something with more potential. They have breathing room for as long as there needs to be more action/battle manga in the lineup and nothing more promising comes along. They're safer than ever with Undead Unluck and Yokozora ending soon too.

If we're talking mega-hits in the making -JJK and BnHA replacements- then the only clear option right now is Kagurabachi. This isn't to put my favourite series up on a pedestal! It's just that, historically, the WSJ series that get the most attention and recognition are action series. When people think of WSJ "pillars" they think of the battle series even if a romcom is outselling everything but One Piece (happened this month with Blue Box coming in #2 for volume sales of WSJ titles).

I think Ichi the Witch can find success but it's the only one out of everything that's been released this year that I have any significant faith in, to be honest. I want Kiyoshi to do well and keep going, but it's not exactly "hit" material right now and the volume sales reflect that. Everything else is too early to say or already not doing so hot for WSJ standards.

I think this could be an opportunity for experimentation. WSJ has had a pretty consistent lineup of an ecchi series, a romcom, some comedy, a drama/mystery here and there, and a lot of action. Adding pure Slice of Life series like Ruri Dragon and Psych House shows a desire to branch out in my opinion. The success of a pure drama series with a female protagonist in Akane-banashi is also encouraging. I would definitely like to see more genres! Maybe even a proper horror series...?! I'll be looking at the new 2025 serials with a keen eye for any new trends. Maybe in a few years we'll have the "pillars" be something other than only action manga!

Alrighty, that's a wrap. Thank you if you read this and I hope 2025 is good to you. May we all find a new manga series to fall in love with! And may it survive the axe!

[moonshynecybin]

hola! would love to know your thoughts on Uccio and his motivations...I read that quote from him that he *never* approved of the Marc friendship. Why though? What do you think?

stepping out of fanfiction world into irl: frankly i dont have much against him besides hes a certified marc hater who is at times a little shady. but this is sports. and that is enough. likeeeeee okay putting on my empathy hat here. YES he played a role in splitting up marc and vale's friendship (really pushed vale over the edge with the data) and YES hes kind of an incurable yes-man and YES he's a lil sleazy (smile more pecco lmao) but like. those arent crimes ! vale is also kind of a sleaze ball !! and he made the decision to blow up his relationship with marc all by his 36 year old self in the end !! and as for vale keeping him around all the time like. being famous sucks !! and theyve known each other since they were (mostly) normal kids !! idk like to have someone i know would never intentionally betray me in my back pocket who i also enjoy hanging out with would be genuinely so important... like BOTH marc and vale have their people that theyve known forever that they keep inside their VERY small little bubble... marc got lucky that his (alex) is also a very good rider! vale had to make his an assistant. which to me is a bit weirder in terms of power dynamic. significantly so. but still very understandable imo. their codependent slay

BUTTTT where uccio is so funny is as a narrative device for rosquez tbh. like hes GONNA catch strays here bc he fills that fun little role of relationship saboteur for them. like HE went to vale with the telemetry "proof" about Phillip Island 2015, he vocallyyyyyy hates marc still to this day, and while rosquez were friends he was genuinely giving marc the evil eye in parc ferme so fucking often it was so funny. whats ur ISSUE man

so like. i can see him embracing his and vale's #codependence and seeing marc as like. a threat to vale's legacy, a threat to his direct championship hopes, and ALSO a threat to his and vale's weird relationship. like truly when your buddy gets their first serious significant other and you feel a lil weird that they arent spending as much time with you... so i think allllll of those coalesced in his brain and it became MISSION CRITICAL. to get vale on board with hating marc. so he kind of maybe started a teensy smear campaign to get that twink outta here. which to be fair to his iago slay did work. grima wormtongue lookin ass.

[novemberfyshenuke]

Trigun AU

I was crying over my exams, so I went ahead and doodled a little more on the dentist au to cope. Here are the headcanons I came up with lol

Livio

Originally, Livio was meant to be a coworker or even an assistant to Knives in his clinic but I had a revelation. I think there's two things he is most likely to be: A dancer and self defense trainer. No one really expects a bulky guy like him to be so free flowing like that. I think it brings such a fun vibe to him.

He has a space above Knives' clinic and can often be seen picking up children from the ground floor.

He grew up in the church with Nico so he's someone who values God.

He slouches as if to make him smaller. The guy struggles to be stern with his students.

Razlo

Razlo is most likely a prosecutor. Livio grew up in a dangerous and terrible environment before he was brought to the church, so Razlo can be fiercely protective over him. That doesn't mean he hasn't hurt him at some point.

Razlo is musically skilled. I like to think the two of them have a thing going on where Razlo starts playing a random tune out loud and Livio's starts vibing to that.

Meryl

She's a journalist. Well, more like a blogger. Milly and her grew up in the same neighborhood and that's how she met Roberto. In her mind, she admires him and his job. As she grew older though, she did come to realize Roberto isn't the flawless role model she always thought of.

She's very perceptive and quite the smart cookie, but tends to get ahead of herself when she's too excited.

Loud unintentionally. It does benefit her with her work at times, but hanging out with friends? Just bury her six feet under, won't you?

She's studying accountancy because. Just because. I see her being stressed out at the data she's had to recompute for the past hour because Vash is being too loud.

Milly

MY GIRLLLLL

She works part time in a cafe/ restaurant her family owns

Roberto is her uncle (DON'T ARGUE WITH ME)

She's really strong from the amount of groceries and stocks she's asked to carry by her family

Also studying accountancy because she saw how determine Meryl was with her studies.

I guarantee you she finishes the homework first and Meryl asks to doublecheck her answers to see if she (Meryl) got it correct.

Many would call her naive but really, she just likes seeing the good in people. Her parents raised their kids that way afterall.

Her family's restaurant is where the gang hangs out most days.

She's really into motocross and that's how she and Nico bonded over.

Isn't really sporty but will definitely join and demolish you in basically any sport. Basketball? Just try dunking that ball when she's guarding. Hockey? Bro those bruises are going to hurt.

She's got really good luck and she's also really good at board games.

She does tend to get overly emotional though and acts before thinking. Meryl is always quick to swoop in and steady her in these situations.

Nicholas D. Wolfwood

He's an actual priest. I know he has a lot of repressed feelings because of his duties. I mean. His entire inner monologue is just, "You shine so unbelievably bright. You create hope for the people around you like the very god I worship. But it's not like I'd kiss you on the lips or anything or...or whatever."

He's definitely looks older than he actually is.

Weak lungs when he was a child and he's still on medication. That doesn't stop him from smoking though. Everyone around him is always telling him to stop but his response is always, "They didn't fix my lungs just so I don't make use of them."

He can't grow a beard. The best he can get is his stubble and so he is so envious of Roberto's.

He's always dropping bible verses and then gets corrected by Knives about certain facts from the book. He hates him for it.

Legato

He's a fashion designer. He loves being in the field just not as the main focus anymore.

Elegant af in public and yet so unhinged with his crew.

He's got a wonderful voice; probs does voice acting on the side for animated shows/movies.

I like to think everyone takes a look at his work and then research him only to be jumpscared by his alt lifestyle on instagram.

He's cringe as hell to his friend group ngl. He'd sing his early 2000s Avril Lavigne in that overtly cartoonish emo voice.

He's a little obsessed with getting Knives to model for him after they shared one class in college.

Elindira

An influencer and Livio's business partner.

Much stricter on lessons and I think that's why they're compatible.

She's also a lawyer, because I can see her fighting an argument for Livio and winning.

She's very mature...when's not with Legato. Then they immediately link and start bickering like siblings.

She's the type to use a number of pet names for everyone.

Red sportscar. Red lipstick. In her pajamas and wearing cat-eyed shades while holding her head because of the hang-over she has but she still has to pick up the tiny menace from middle school. (Zazie)

She's a wine aunt and you can't convince me otherwise.

Never had a bad hair day in her life

Terrible blunt about things it honestly causes more harm than good but she won't ever lie to your face.

Vash

He likes collecting happy meal toys and displaying them in a glass cabinet in the family house dining room. This has translated to him collecting every single mascot figurine from business partners and local businesses around the area.

In high school, he worked part-time promoting Milly's family restaurant by spinning a sign around in a beat up rented mascot suit. No one will ever know who the kid behind that giant dog head was.

Mama's boy...cough

He dresses like an 80s rockstar or a biker but he's never actually approached a bike because of Mama Rem's constant helicopter parenting.

People just assume he's a 'bad boy' because he has a piercing and is a little full of himself at times.

When he's not interning at Knives' clinic, he's an emergency medical volunteer.

He's always been more of an 'I excel in theory but not in practice' guy.

He once made a patient's gums bleed and had them sobbing because he was too focused on getting on with the procedure he messed up the prep work.

Sneaks candies from the jar on top of Knives' desk

He has a prosthetic because I think it's funny for boyfailure no.1 to randomly have the batteries die or it doesn't function correctly.

Dyslexic and was quite sensitive as a child so he often got picked on.

Knives

Boyfailure no. 2 is a well-known specialist who's always rebelled against his mom but still ended up following her footsteps in the field.

He's lazy. He really feels disgusted having to stick his hands in someone's mouth cavity, but dang does his morbid curiosity always win.

I like to think he's mellowed out here because Vash and him watched My Little Pony and at the same time Superbook. He's like super confused and yet enlightened by all these moral stories and going, "Yeah, you're right, Jesus. Twilight Sparkle did deserve better!" or something...

His older cousin, Tesla, always picks on him for going by Knives rather than the name their mom picked out for him.

Do I think Knives is a kid who decided to pick a chosen name when he was 12? Yes. Yes I do.

He excels objectively and fails miserably when it comes to subjective things.

He wears sandals. Rem always got him and Vash those Velcro strap shoes so he, although he doesn't want to admit it, doesn't know how to tied his laces. He also refuses to search it up because he's convinced himself that Vash has this wagered war of who learns from the youtube video first.

He has difficulty accepting affection despite having Vash and Rem around because as a child, Vash came first. He needed to be prioritized.

Imma get to the others another time.

[pyropsychiccollector]

Irina: Right! Now that Kayano-chan's back with us, we can get to that special training I promised last week. (❋•‿•❋)

Kaede: … What's Professor Bitch on about? >_>

Yukiko: Nobody knows. (✿◠‿◠);;; During our English lessons last week, she made some giddy announcement about training that none of us could get her to elaborate on…

Rio: She DID say we all needed to be here for it. (✿◠‿◠)(✿◠‿◠)(✿◠‿◠)

Nagisa: … I have a bad feeling about this… ಠಿ_ಠ

Karma: Aw, don't say that! (❋•‿•❋) Bitch-sensei must have a grand idea if Kayano-chan needed to be here~

Kaede: Why are you saying that so ominously?! (╬≖_≖) Now I see where Nagisa's coming from.

Rio: You WOULD. (✿◠‿◠)(✿◠‿◠)(✿◠‿◠)

Karma: (❋•‿•❋) shows pic of Nagisa kissing Kaede from last week

Kaede: Will you DELETE THOSE ALREADY?!?!?! (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)

Karma and Rio: No. (❋•‿•❋)

Irina: (✿◠‿◠)*** If the peanut gallery would kindly shut up, I would be glad to give you your instructions. Be good brats and take out a sheet of paper. You only need to write down the names of three classmates you would prefer to practice seduction lessons on. That's it.

Everyone: … ಠಿ_ಠ WHAT?!

Hinata: Seduction lessons?!?!?!

Okajima: You mean like taking babes' clothes off?! __

Isogai: (✿◠‿◠);;; This doesn't sound kosher…

Meg: Because it's not. (╬≖_≖) Who authorized giving Junior high kids seduction lessons?!

Irina: I did. (❋•‿•❋) Stop being babies and sack it up. You wanted to learn to be kickass assassins, and one of the tools you'll have is seduction~

Rinka: We're training to kill the Octopus, not drag him into bed. (╬≖_≖)

Irina: Yeah, well, you know how he gets all orgasmic about you kids pairing off. (❋•‿•❋) There's a good chance you can distract him with lovey-dovey shit, and the rest of you can go in for the kill~

Touka: Well… I guess that makes a weird sort of sense…

Hinano: Can we put down teacher names?! _

Irina: Meh, sure, why not?

Kaede: ……… This is because of last week, isn't it? (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)

Irina: (❋•‿•❋) The inspiration hardly matters. What's important. You don't have to worry about advanced techniques yet. Right now we'll only be practicing kissing.

Itona: With three people of our choosing?

Irina: Yup. Gotta be fair and spread the love around~… Well. It's more practice than anything else. Get you used to kissing fast. (❋•‿•❋)

Kaede: (╬≖_≖) Three names, you said?

Nagisa: (✿◠‿◠);;; … Why me…?

Irina: The only rule is NO BLANK PAPERS! Everything else goes! (❋•‿•❋)

Yukiko: … Oh. Okay. (✿◠‿◠)

Rio: I like this. (❋•‿•❋)

Yuzuki: Loopholes are great. (❋•‿•❋)

Irina: �� Eh? Why do you brats look so smug? (╬≖_≖)

Kaede: ≖‿≖ Just because YOU'RE a bitch, doesn't mean the rest of us are.

Irina: Will you all cut that cheeky crap out?! Turn your papers in if you're done!!! (╬ಠ益ಠ)

~*~

an awkward hour of kissing later, end of the day

Nagisa: (✿◠‿◠);;; Not to sound ungrateful, Professor Bitch, but why can't I go home?

Irina: pinches his cheek Because, my dear sweet Casanova, as you might have noticed you didn't get any action during that practice session. (❋•‿•❋)

Nagisa: Well, yeah. I mean, I was hardly the only one. Okajima only got to kiss the three he wanted to. A lot of the guys were like that. ಠಿ_ಠ

Irina: (❋•‿•❋) Ah, but they DID get kissing. YOU didn't even get the ones on your list.

Nagisa: … I just figured we were out of time. It's not that big of a deal. (✿◠‿◠);;;

Irina: On the contrary, it's a very big deal. ≖‿≖ Turns out you were quite popular on the surveys. Some smartasses even listed you thrice. ≖‿≖*** Well, it was my fault for not considering repeats as a way for people to get out of spreading the love around. Oh well. You got a long afternoon ahead of ya. (❋•‿•❋)

Nagisa: You could list repeats?!?!?! (⊙▂⊙✖ )

Irina: (❋•‿•❋) Thank YOU for being a better sport and listing three different girls~ Gave me plenty of data. (❋•‿•❋)

Nagisa: ……… I need an adult.

Irina: I AM an adult. (❋•‿•❋) slides open the classroom door, hauling Nagisa back in Okaaay~ Everybody here? counts off … Yep, all nine of you. Fantastico~… (❋•‿•❋)(❋•‿•❋)(❋•‿•❋)

Nagisa: (⊙▂⊙✖ ) staring … H-How many of you guys listed…me…?

Kaede: head buried in arms to hide her crimson face, raises hand

Yukiko: shyly raises hand

Rio: shamelessly raises hand

Rinka: awkwardly waves hand

Yuzuki: proudly waves hand Loopholes! (✿◠‿◠)

Touka: chirps brightly, waves hand After seeing you put Kayano-chan out of commission, I just had to know! (✿◠‿◠) ignores Kaede's indignant squawk

Hinata: meekly raises hand

Hinano: waves hand guilt-free I didn't know about the loophole, but Mister K said I only got one chance anyway! (✿◠‿◠)

Ritsu: raises hand with a dead serious expression No one else struck me as attractive with kissing.

Nagisa: (⊙▂⊙✖ ) All of you…?!

Irina: (❋•‿•❋)*** Yup. And just about all of them listed you three times. Kurahashi only gets the one, Hayami twice, but everyone else was a smartass. Though if this training goes well, you might have a promising future ahead of you. (❋•‿•❋)

Nagisa: P-Promising future?! (⊙▂⊙✖ ) doesn't want to hurt any of their feelings, he's nervous as hell

Irina: Let's get that hit rate up, okay? pinches Nagisa's cheek No excuses this time~

Nagisa: … mutters I'm so dead by the end of this. ಠಿ_ಠ

~*~

Hinata: D-Don't get any weird ideas!! >////////<* I picked you because you and Isogai were the least troublesome boys, and I figured Isogai was gonna have a line a mile long… I never pegged YOU as a womanizer! >///////////<*

Nagisa: I'm not!!!!!! (⊙▂⊙✖ ) God's honest truth, I didn't even WANT to put names down, but Professor Bitch said no blanks…!

Hinata: … huffs I guess that's true. You're like the opposite of that idiot Maehara… >///////////>*** Let's just get this over with. Can't believe I had to put you down three freaking times……..

one lengthy session later

Irina: Alright, break it up~ You can go home, Okano-chan. You're done. (❋•‿•❋)

Hinata: (⊙▂⊙✖ ) Wh-What do you MEAN done?! W-We only just got started!!

Nagisa: ಠಿಠ zoned out after three kiss sessions went by in a barely lucid haze Tha… ಠಿಠ struck speechless at how much he liked it

Hinata: Youuu…! >///////////////<* F-Fine, but we're practicing later, you big perverted j-jerk!!! @/////////////@* runs out the door, steam whistling out of her ears, beet red face

Nagisa: ಠಿ_ಠ

Irina: Ufufu. Seems Kayano-chan wasn't an accident. (❋•‿•❋)

~*~

Hinano: I don't expect too much from you. Mister K will always be my #1! (✿◠‿◠)

Nagisa: Th-That's fine, Hinano-chan. (✿◠‿◠);;; We only have to do it the once.

Hinano: Just pucker up already. (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)

a couple minutes later

Hinano: Wha?! It's over?! Σ('◉⌓◉’)

Irina: You had to come up for air sometime, sweetie. (❋•‿•❋) You can go home.

Hinano: Σ('◉⌓◉’) looking very conflicted at Nagisa

Nagisa: ಠಿ_ಠ I-Is it over yet? glad he only had to kiss Hinano once, but it was a kiss sessions he didn't want to end

Irina: Not even close, dear. (❋•‿•❋)

Hinano: Σ('◉⌓◉’) nudged out the door and questioning whether she liked kissing Mister K or Nagisa more

~*~

Ritsu: I have performed the necessary research while awaiting my turn. I am reasonably confident practice will be a nonissue. (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)

Nagisa: … (✿◠‿◠);;; You…studied? Like, watched clips or something?

Ritsu: nods sagely Clips. Read up on specific techniques. I am certain I will "wow" you, Nagisa-kun. (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)

Nagisa: ……….. doesn't want to be hearing this right now Let's… just get this over with. (✿◠‿◠);;;

three lengthy, dizzying rounds later

Ritsu: Over? (☉_ ☉) This cannot be. I swear to you, we only just got started. (☉_ ☉)

Irina: (✿◠‿◠)** Yeah, well, hate to break it to ya, computer junkie. But you were about to go for Round 4. I can't let you do that… Wouldn't be fair to everyone waiting.

Ritsu: Impossible. (☉_ ☉) My mind went blank and I forgot everything I learned. I merely reacted to Nagisa-kun… This is troubling. Nagisa-kun seduced me. (☉_ ☉)

Nagisa: I'm telling you, it was as much of a blank for me!! ಠಿ_ಠ

Ritsu: Untrue. You were singularly focused into overwhelming my senses. (☉_ ☉) Do not lie to me.

Nagisa: twitching violently, unable to deny that he was…focused…on the exercise after Ritsu promised she'd studied up ಠಿ_ಠ I was hoping to learn a little bit more than that… You said you studied! DX

Ritsu: (☉_ ☉) We will have to save it for…next time…

Nagisa: ಠಿ_ಠ twitching

~*~

Rinka: I did kiss Chiba earlier, just as a head's up… >///<***

Nagisa: That's…okay? ಠಿ_ಠ I mean, if you like Chiba, I'm not going to tear you away from him…

Rinka: huffs It's not like that. >///<* I mean… He's a good friend. But I don't honestly know anything about this lovey-dovey stuff. I put you down twice cuz you obviously had the skills, knocking out Kayano… But I didn't know if Professor Bitch would allow that. So I put Chiba down as a fallback. >///<* Should have just went with my gut.

Nagisa: … ಠಿ_ಠ Everyone keeps bringing that up, but I was just saving her life… Anyone would have done the same.

Rinka: groans Just come here. I'm tired of hearing you all down in the dumps. >///<***

couple rounds later

Rinka: >///////////////////<*** Just blind luck, my ass.

Nagisa: ಠಿಠ I'm pretty sure you were pretty… experienced… Yourself. ಠಿಠ

Rinka: No. >/////////////////<*** I'm a damn greenhorn, and I just refused to roll over for you. That's all. This is supposed to be practice, so I have it my all, too. Thanks for not holding back, but I've got a long way to go.

Nagisa: ಠಿ_ಠ I don't think that at all… W-We can try again later?

Rinka: Goes without saying. @/////////////@***

~*~

Yuzuki: Fufufu. My time to shine! (＾ω＾)

Nagisa: ಠಿ_ಠ I'm surprised you wanted to kiss me, Yuzuki? I mean, I'm not even that good.

Yuzuki: That's not what Kayano-chan's starstruck face said. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) And I'll have you know I came prepared! I rewatched a bunch of lovey-dovey anime that featured this very type of scenario!! You have no chance! (＾ω＾)

Nagisa: huffs out a sigh I keep telling you guys, it was no big deal… (✿◠‿◠);;; But if you think you're prepared, I'm…happy for you? I'll try and learn from you, Yuzuki-sensei.

Yuzuki: Don't patronize me! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I'll have you roll over and beg me for more!!

A few heated sessions later

Irina: Alright, break it up, you two. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Fuwa-chan, you look sweaty~… Your shirt is not doin' so hot. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yuzuki: It's…….over? (☉_ ☉) No. No, no, no!!! It can't be over!!!!!! (☉_ ☉) shakes Nagisa like a ragdoll Gimme back my three lives, damn you!!! I didn't get to show you anything!!!!! (⊙▂⊙✖ )

Nagisa: (✿◠‿◠);;; still kinda spacey I think you showed me p-plenty, Yuzuki-sensei… G-Give yourself more credit. (☉_ ☉)

Yuzuki: @~~~@*** Unacceptable!!! It can't be over…! getting yanked by Irina to the exit I-I still have my Ace to play! J-Just gimme one more chance!! DX

Irina: Nope… (✿◠‿◠)*** swats Yuzuki's hand away before she can strip off her soaked, sweaty jacket Advanced techniques come LATER. What part of that do you not understand?!

Nagisa: watches them go, shivering (☉_ ☉) Can I go home yet? doesn't know how much more he can take

~*~

Irina: (✿◠‿◠)*** Touka, dear. Clothes stay ON, you got that?

Touka: (＾ω＾) Of course, Sensei! I am a professional!

Nagisa: (☉_ ☉) I know you're besties with Kaede, Touka… But you wanted to kiss me, too? Seriously??

Touka: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) After seeing the mess you made of Kaede-chan, I just had to see how I stacked up~ You're pretty formidable, Nagisa-kun. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nagisa: (✿◠‿◠);;; You guys give me too much credit… I have nothing to offer…

Touka: We'll just see about that! (＾ω＾)

a few steamy sessions later

Irina: ………… (✿◠‿◠)*** Right. You guys are done. Touka. Go home.

Touka: was prevented from removing her sweat-soaked shirt every time throughout the sessions >:[ Mean, Sensei. It's getting hot in here. Just let me-

Irina: I SAID GO HOME!!!!! (✿◠‿◠)*

Nagisa: (☉_ ☉) feeling sooo conflicted about Irina interfering in Touka's attempts at "cooling off" Actually… It is p-pretty warm in here…

Irina: (✿◠‿◠)*** Nagisa, don't think I didn't notice how you kept groping where your hands didn't belong.

Touka: Pshaw. They were right where they were supposed to be. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Let's meet up later, Nagisa. Alone. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nagisa: (☉_ ☉) hardly has willpower to refuse such an invitation

Irina: For the last time, you knuckleheads…! Advanced techniques…….ARE FOR LATER!!!!!!!! (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)

~*~

Yukiko: (✿◠‿◠);;; I didn't think my turn would ever come…

Nagisa: (✿◠‿◠);;; I'm pretty sure Professor Bitch was always going to make us see it to the end… B-Besides, I did put you down on my list…

Yukiko: Really? (❋•‿•❋) I-I was afraid I'd be too…plain for you… >w<*

Nagisa: N-Not at all!!! (✿◠‿◠);;;;;;; You're amazing, Yukiko… I know probably every guy in class had you on their list…

Yukiko: Well… I suppose there's some truth to that… (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑) But even if I'm considered… popular… I don't think that about myself at all. >//////////////<* A-And besides, I was curious why you never got a turn… I'm glad you ARE appreciated, even if that means a wait time for me. >///<*

Nagisa: Honestly, this is surreal for me… I'm not that special at all… >///<***

Yukiko: Not true!!! ٩(๑ `н´๑)۶ You're VERY special!!!

Irina: Could you two lovebirds get to it already? (╬≖‿≖) As much fun as this is, I'd like to go home, too. (╬≖‿≖)

Yukiko: L-Lovebirds?! Σ('◉⌓◉’)

Nagisa: B-But Yukiko's way out of my league!!! (⊙▂⊙✖ )

Irina: Just shaddup and pucker up already!!! (╬≖‿≖)

a few dreamy sessions later

Nagisa: (☉_ ☉)

Yukiko: short-circuiting from how happy she is (✿◠‿◠)

Nagisa: unable to tear Yukiko off from her adoring hug she's got him trapped in (☉_ ☉) … Not sure if he wants to be free

Irina: Time to go home, Yukiko-chan! (✿◠‿◠)*** picks her up by the back of the neck like a kitten and scootches her to the door

~*~

Rio: (❋•‿•❋) Myyy tuuurn~

Nagisa: (⊙▂⊙✖ ) B-But I got done with Touka…! I was supposed to be safe from hereon. Σ('◉⌓◉’)

Rio: Oh, I'll keep you safe, hubby. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I'll blow all those others away~…

Nagisa: staring horrified at Irina (⊙▂⊙✖ ) N-No crossdressing allowed, right?

Irina: (❋•‿•❋)*** Clothes stay on, Nagisa. You know the drill by now.

Rio: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I'm cool with clothes on. We can get nice and oily just like this~… rubs up against Nagisa sensually

Irina: Advanced techniques…LATER. (╬ಠ益ಠ)

a few steamy sessions later

Rio: standing over Nagisa faceplanted on the floor I'm the best~ (＾ω＾)

Irina: sighs Yes, yes, Rio darling. You can continue your kissy obsession later. (╬≖‿≖) Nagisa still has one more to get through.

Nagisa: …

Rio: I'll wait outside~ (＾ω＾)

Irina: HOME. (╬≖‿≖)

~*~

Kaede: >////////////<*** I was hoping Professor Bitch would get bored by now…

Nagisa: sighs (✿◠‿◠);;; She's not. She's filmed each one.

Kaede: WHAT?! (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)

Irina: (✿◠‿◠) For feedback purposes~ Relaaax~

Kaede: I'M GONNA MURDER YOU!!!!! (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)

Nagisa: (✿◠‿◠);;; L-Let's just get this done and go home, Kaede. I won't let her humiliate you.

Kaede: E-Eh…? @///////@*** W-Well… If… If you don't mind, Nagisa…

Irina: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) starts filming

a few hot minutes later

Nagisa: (✿◠‿◠);;; Professor Bitch, Kaede passed out… Again…

Irina: I saw. (❋•‿•❋)(❋•‿•❋)(❋•‿•❋)(❋•‿•❋)(❋•‿•❋) You were a real stud~… All that practice paid off~…

Nagisa: (✿◠‿◠);;; Can you…take her home?

Irina: Nope! I've got business to attend to. Don't worry, you can ask Karasuma where she lives. (❋•‿•❋) Don't do anything I would~ leaves a deeply disturbed Nagisa holding a limp, unconscious, but content Kaede in his arms

Nagisa: Professor Bitch!!! (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ) Grrr… walks into teacher's lounge … (☉_ ☉) does an about face when he sees that Mr. Karasuma has gone home for the day, and instead all the other girls are sitting in there waiting for him

Rio: You're not getting away that easily! (❋•‿•❋)

Nagisa: gets yanked back into the office with Kaede in tow, door sliding shut (⊙▂⊙✖ ) I need an adult…!

[javierpena-inatacvestnotifs]

Questions Game!

Thanks for the tag @greenwitchfromthewoods 🥰

Do you make your bed? Normally my husband does since he works from home every day, but on the days I do, I will! I am a neat freak so I can't rest unless the bed is made

Favorite number? 2- I was born on April 2nd, started dating my husband on August 2nd, got married on July 22nd, 2 was always the jersey number I would pick whenever I played sports, 2 has just always been my favorite number!

What's your job? I work as a clinical research associate for a company that sponsors phase 1 trials of new cancer drugs! I basically just input a lot of data to a lot of different platforms so trials can stay up and running! I used to be an elementary school teacher, which there are parts that I really miss, but I'm glad to have a job that lets me keep my sanity a lot more 😅

If you could go back to school, would you? I have a masters and no money, so no, I'm good 🫡 If I could go back to the concept of college where you went to 2 classes a day, worked a part time job and had endless amounts of free time, then yes 😂

Can you parallel park? Don't ask me to parallel park or I will have a mental breakdown

Do you think aliens are real? Absolutely???? If you don't think so then????

Can you drive a manual car? No, and again, please don't ask me to, I will sob (can u tell I am an anxious driver)

What's your guilty pleasure? Drinking pop 😩 (or soda for all you non-midwesterners) I know it's so bad for you, and I barley ever have it, but when I do? Lord have mercy, I could drink like 17. Nothing slaps harder than a McDonald's coke

Tattoos? No, I am a big baby when it comes to pain and the most indecisive person I know, I don't think I could ever commit to something permanent on my body. I love tattoos on other people, though!!!

Favorite color? Yellow and sage green!

Do you like puzzles? Yes, but if they're not like, crazy complicated??

Any phobias? I'm an ✨anxious girlie✨ I don't really have an specific phobias, but I just worry a lot about something bad happening at any given moment?? Like yesterday at the gym, I was worried my house was going to set on fire because I was running the dryer while I was gone??? (yay intrusive thoughts!!!)

Favorite childhood sport? I played every sport under the sun as a kid- soccer, basketball, baseball, hockey, golf, swimming, gymnastics, dance, snowboarding, wakeboarding- I'd like to think I'm pretty athletic and I'm also very competitive 😬 I think my favorites were always baseball and hockey! Fun Madeline lore- I was a HUGE tomboy growing up and convinced my parents to let me play in a boy's baseball league from 4th to 8th grade. I was the only girl, and was actually pretty decent, but once everyone hit puberty and could throw 70 mph fastballs, I was like "yeah, I'm out" 😂

Do you talk to yourself? A concerning amount?? I am such a non-confrontational person, that any arguments I need to get off my chest, I just have with myself

NP tags: @honeyedmiller @raspberrybesitos @morallyinept @tightjeansjavi @itsokbbygrl

[toastedclownery]

I’ve made some new Monkey Wrench headcanons.

Here they are:

1. While he doesn’t have a visible nose, Shrike does still have nostrils. They’re just very hard to spot.

2. Shrike is not good with kids at all. But he would never allow them to be hurt or distressed.

3. At the end of the third episode, Shrike stole half of the human trinkets that Scratch found.

“Nyeheheh! MINE! Let’s see. And it’s all a pile of worthless crap. How anticlimactic.”

4. When Scritch and Scratch had their ship checked out at the space station following the Mushroom Incident, an engineer at the station simply responded to their queries by saying “Frankly, it’s a miracle that this bucket of bolts is still intact.”

5. Sometimes Shrike gets strange looks in public from other aliens who don’t know what he is. Which is pretty much everyone. Other cephalopods are fascinated by him, as I said before.

6. Beebs once mistook a golf club for some sort of weapon. Shrike was quick to correct him. “No, this is something terrans used for sport. I think…”

7. Shrike’s tongue is also prehensile (as well as his toes). It’s at least 15 inches long.

8. Kara was the one who sent the pictures of Chester’s mutilated corpse to the news broadcasters in the first episode. She sent it anonymously and captioned it with “Fuck around and find out.”.

9. Kara refuses to go after children or the downtrodden.

10. Shrike refuses to let anyone else touch or wear his suit. “No! MINE!!!” *grabs suit and hisses like a creature*. Except Beebs, who he insists handles it carefully.

11. 62’s suit is damn near indestructible. It has built-in energy shields, a black box, an anti-AI counter intrusion defence and repulsion system, a built-in video camera, an emergency locator beacon, waterproofing, real-time meteorological scanning and data devices, underwater and zero gravity propulsion systems, built in scanning devices, self-repair and recharge capabilities, hazmat filter and containment mechanisms, a self-destruct mechanism and an escape hatch should it be activated or compromised.

As well as an internal dwelling space for 62 proper.

Killix was baffled when he first saw it “This thing is a goddamned fortress. It’s incredible. Who built this shit anyway?”

“I told you it was provided by my union, I had it made specially. My kind use them a lot when we have to. Uncle 47 worked on a prototype he made using an old Terran spacesuit.”

12. 62’s people consider the term “Yellowman” to be a slur. Shrike doesn’t like hearing it because it gives him flashbacks to a certain Terran web video he watched. “NOT THE YELLOWMAN!”. (It’s a little inside joke, there’s a local confectionery in my country called Yellowman, it’s like a honeycomb and toffee thing. And it refers to a creature from one of Mister Manticore’s early lost videos)

That’s all I’ve got for now.

What do you think?

1. Might just confuse them with pores

2. I'd love to study Shrike's behaviour with a child. ...That isn't indestructible

3. DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THAT TAPE MAN.

5. He is a strange critter...

7. Jel has entered the chat

8. THAT WOULD BE WILD. I think the images alone would speak for themselves

9. Good for her!

11. Imagine a love it or list it TV program where it's just these guys and their suits

[freebooter4ever]

Despite my continued stomach/digestive issues that is making it damn hard to eat, the increased exercise has almost entirely lifted my intense depressive episode and im almost feeling 'normal' again (which is definitely helping with this letter that im spending two days writing lmao). But i keep going back to that idea of people seeing me happy vs when i am truly 'happy'. For the past year that's mostly revolved around three things: 1) voluntering at the museum - usually interacting with guests, answering questions, getting to talk at length about this history i love, seeing guests get equally as excited and enthusiastic about the place as i do. 2) hockey. I know. This is still weird to me too that i ended up liking sports. But this summer i have definitely missed that vicarious high of watching things play out live good or bad. The charity games were cute and fun to watch but without the suspense and thrill of rooting for something with thousands of others at the same time it didn't quite cut it. On the other hand i've been using hockey as a carrot like 'i need to get a job so i can afford hockey tickets!' which is silly but its better than...imagining the painful reality of what will happen if i dont have a new job by this fall. I work better by thoughts of reward than under threat. If i do manage to land something soon i promise i'll end up in pittsburgh for a game at some point - that and visiting grandma are equal priority. 3) staring at geno's face and drawing or sculpting him. Im trying not to think too hard about this one.

And now another. 4) walking around the studio's manufacturing warehouse. I promised myself on sunday that i would play it cool, be professional, dont geek out over everything. I did not do that. I was grinning the entire time, i literally could not stop myself from smiling i was so excited. I think i said 'wow' and 'that's so cool!' a lot, too much maybe. At the end of the very in depth tour during which i asked so many questions i felt like a kid, the guy told me he was going to go back inside and 'work on some programming' before he left. And pushing my luck i was all 'i know with NDA stuff this might not be possible but could i just watch???'. And he tried to insist it would be boring but i promised him i absolutely would find it fascinating. Partially because i knew he wasn't talking about my kind of programming - scripted languages, machine code instruction - he was talking about some kind of interface programming. And sure enough he showed me the sine waves and explained a little how to generate them from data or how to create them from scratch, all as he was working on the model. And i was just sitting there enraptured.

so that was sunday. Supposed to be last tuesday, then moved to saturday, then finally sunday...but well worth the wait.

[erisenyo]

15 people, 15 questions

Thank you @fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma and @sukiluvvs for the tag!!

1.) Are you named after anyone?

Not really. There was a playboy bunny in the news at the time who had the same name but I'm not sure that seeing the name in gossip magazines counts lol

2.) When was the last time you cried?

The last time I answered one of these lol, back in early July when I was in the process of actively missing my vacation to Iceland because my passport renewal didn't come in time. Fun fact: it came the day I would have gotten back :)

3.) Do you have kids?

Nope and never, is the plan!

4.) What sports do you play/have played?

I played lacrosse and I fenced (sabre)! I did both through college, fencing for 7 years and lacrosse for 14. I also used to powerlift (3 years) and kickbox (6 years, RIP to my gym that closed this summer :/) These days I play pickup basketball and intramural dodgeball when the league can get its act together, and I'm thinking of taking lifting back up again

5.) Do you use sarcasm?

Yes, I'm a sarcastic/dry comment factory

6.) What’s the first thing you notice about people?

...Their height? I don't actually know. I size them up to asses whether I could take them in a fight? But not like consciously, it's just...a thing lol

7.) What’s your eye colour?

Brown!

8.) Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all the way! I am here for the satisfying narrative bow we will never have in our real lives.

9.) Any talents?

Some people know I write a bit, and I think I'm pretty good at that :) I'm also exceptional at packing a trunk/tetrising objects into spaces, and in carrying things in as few trips as possible. (You want me involved in your move) Also very good at data viz but that's getting close to work things and we Will No Talk About Those

10.) Where were you born?

The room my mom was in :)

11.) What are your hobbies?

I like to write, to read, I bake and cook, I spend a lot of time playing with my cat because he is a needy, demanding creature with sharp teeth, all the above-mentioned sports. I also coach, and I've got two regular cook new food/try new restaurant crews and a bookclub that keep me busy

12.) Do you have any pets?

My little creature

13.) How tall are you?

5’3 but this always seems to shock people lol

14.) Favourite subject in school?

History! I was a history and a classics major in college.

15.) Dream job?

Shocker of shockers, I actually really love my current job! If money were no object I would probably continue to do it, but eventually I would want to like...work in a bookstore. I used to in highschool and college and I loved it an I am very well suited to like, repetitive-task-public-interaction environments (I'd also love to be a glassblower or carpenter but only for fun I think. No monetizing my dreams)

Tagging people...who maybe have already been tagged? Lets find out lol

@chitsangenthusiast @haroldtea @ash-and-starlight @petricorah @sukidude @sulkybender @queendollophead-ao3 @bisexuallsokka @chiptrillino @boiiko @ssreeder

[macgyvermedical]

Hello. I believe you live in ohio (or did) and am hoping you can provide insight on new ohio laws drafted- heres a link to the post: https://www.tumblr.com/bearslikedilfs/739180713918775296/it-appears-there-is-a-caveat-allowing-treatment?source=share

I dont work in the medical field and probably missed or misread some things.

I do live in Ohio.

My understanding is that the "only" thing that has happened so far is that the House overruled Gov. DeWine's veto, causing trans girls not to be allowed to play girls sports and gender-affirming care for anyone under 21 to become punishable by a practitioner's licensing authority (state medical board or department of nursing). This particularly excludes the same type of care for intersex people, puberty blockers for documented precocious puberty, and continuing gender-affirming care for those under 21 who have already started a course of treatment.

While this is of course a serious problem, the bigger issue is that the override means the House is either extremely misinformed or extremely anti-trans right now. So the likelihood of other anti-trans bills getting passed is high.

We already know that DeWine is pretty well informed, stating "The decisions that parents are making are not easy decisions. These tough, tough decisions should not be made by the government. They should not be made by the state of Ohio. They should be made by the people who love these kids the most. And that's the parents, the parents who raised the child, the parents who have seen that child go through agony" and "None of [the families] that I talked to talked about surgery, that's not where they were going in the discussion. And I think that's, frankly, a fallacy that's out there that, you know, this goes right to surgery. It just doesn't. All the children's hospitals say that we don't do surgeries."

So his request that information be collected sounds mostly like he is trying to get a good basis of knowledge for making good laws, and unfortunately that could open up a vulnerable population (us trans people) to being hurt if that information gets misused. And with as hostile as the House has to be to vote 65-28 against trans children's rights to medical care, there's a lot of opportunity to misuse or misinterpret that data.

Unfortunately, though, that is where my interpretation has to end, because the rest of it is lawyer stuff and they don't teach that in nursing school.

[allylikethecat]

#30 i have a couple random questions

1) do you have any tattoos? if not would you ever get any? were there any tattoos that you liked when you were younger that you would’ve majorly regretted now that you’re older?

2) did you go to college? what’s your degree in?

3) whats your go to drink when you go out?

YESSS thank you for sending me an ask from the weirdly specific and unrelated asks to know someone well list!! I can be found HERE if anyone else wants to send some / reblog it for themselves! It's a good list if you ask me!

30. ask me anything !

1) do you have any tattoos? if not would you ever get any? were there any tattoos that you liked when you were younger that you would’ve majorly regretted now that you’re older?

I do not, I would very much like to get two - one I worked with a friend who is an artist to design as a tribute to Pop, the second is my grandfather's name in his handwriting. We were extremely close and even years later I am still completely devastated by his passing. I actually bought Pop with the money he left me, making Pop all the more special and a connection to him (he loved horses and loved that I rode, and in all honestly most likely would have bought Pop for me himself if he had been alive, it makes me so sad that they never got to meet because I know my grandfather would have loved him) however I am absolutely terrified of needles and keep chickening out. I'm hoping to eventually get over it though. In all honesty, I feel like even if I got one of the dumb tattoos I dreamed about as a kid I'd probably still like it - I was very into art history / literature growing up so a lot of the tattoos I fantasized about were rooted in that.

2) did you go to college? what’s your degree in?

I did! I have a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration with a concentration in Marketing. My career focus was initial content marketing and copy writing in the sports industry before I moved over to the the tech / software industry. I've found myself doing less and less content marketing and taking on more data analytic focused roles which has been a lot of fun and an unexpected development - especially because I was initially hired for my current role as an account executive (I sold out, I was chasing the money and going into account management / sales lol)

3) whats your go to drink when you go out?

Depends what kind of night we're having lol If I'm out to dinner usually some kind of silly fun bespoke cocktail with way too much sugar. If it's a chiller bar situation or a sporting event then I am a High Noon girlie. If we're going to get rowdy bring on the vodka red bulls

Thank you SO MUCH for these asks omg these were such fun questions! Also like, I really do love High Noons they are truly the perfect seltzer beverage situation. My only complaint is I hate the pineapple and watermelon ones and it feels like that's what most bars stock? Which like wtf there are so many great flavors why THOSE two?! Thank you so much again!! I hope you are having a lovely Monday and a great rest of your week!

❤️Ally