#data colada

[ethiack]

It's Over - Gino vs Harvard Fake Data Scandal

[mostlysignssomeportents]

I just gave $100 to support Data Colada's legal defense - they do important scientific service and are being sued for $25m (!!!) by one of the scientists they criticized.

[refeita]

você [é] chama e eu vou.

tem data de fim e eu já sabia, mas fui mesmo assim. subi Bahia, desci Floresta, te seguindo por cada rua desta cidade para não arriscar perder um segundo só da sua passagem. te acompanhei metódica e me fiz flexível a sua suavidade, porque quando você chama, eu vou. temendo piscar e perder algo valioso que vai me seguir pelos próximos dias e meses, capturando tudo que há para capturar. me habituando lentamente à gentileza do seu toque, aproximando e despedindo, dando e tirando tudo de mim. pensei que vermelho era minha cor, mas é sua, sempre escondida entre as outras, ardendo como sua alma arde em mim também. levantei as defesas, olhei o calendário e contei os dias, então você gargalhou no meio da avenida no carnaval e eu não pude evitar abrir meus portões. a madrugada curta com a voz ecoando nos fones, o cheiro da flor que você pegou, a sua insistência em acreditar em karma. sua essência me acerta em cheio porque a minha peca na transcendência enquanto a sua sobra. minhas respostas retas e prontas se encerram na sua mania de ir além. meu peito contem as faíscas desde o começo, por medo de fugir do controle e você incendeia. você chama e eu vou. agora o relógio corre mais que antes, dias contados vão passando enquanto procuro algum espaço que me liberte e te coloque aqui de novo. perto. colada em mim. cedo à contagem regressiva mesmo quando seu calor ainda aquece meu corpo em meio a garoa desse começo de tarde, cedo ao fim iminente mesmo enquanto nossos olhos estão próximos e o gosto do chopp ainda na boca, cedo a sua capacidade única de movimentar meu mundo e me obrigar a ser livre porque seu afeto é fogo, labareda, e se você chama, eu vou.

[sigmaleph]

look like Francesca Gino's defamation suit against Data Colada has been dismissed (the suit still continues in some of its counts against Harvard)

The case is the one where bloggers found evidence of falsified data in several studies about, ironically, dishonesty. They contacted the author's employer (Harvard Business School) and published a number of blog posts detailing why they thought the data had been falsified. The author sued them for defamation over it, which, y'know, not a great way to settle academic disputes if you ask me!

The judge dismissed the defamation claim, on the grounds that saying 'hey I noticed these anomalies and on the basis of that I think there may have been data falsification' is not defamatory.

[aspiringtrashpanda]

Find the prompt list HERE.

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

DAY 26 Prompt: Horror Movie/Game C/W: Mind control, attempted drowning 1.9k

Day 26 - Horror Game/Movie

The title screen of Siren Seaside: Paradise Shores practically emanated sunshine. The beautifully rendered waves lapped at a sandy shore, a rhythmic rush of water timed to the motions. Gulls cawed in the background, looping a predetermined route through fluffy clouds slowly panning to the right, slipping behind the row of tropical, fruit-bearing trees that led away from the golden beach. 

You couldn’t hit PLAY any faster, excited to start the cozy seaside-life RPG that had popped up on your D.D.D. overnight. Levi must have sent an invite code to your device sometime after midnight, the code meant to automatically install the game. 

He knew you were a fan of slice-of-life games, farming simulators and the like, so a gesture such as this wasn’t that odd. If anything, he had given you something to look forward to after classes ended. 

Now comfortable in your casual clothes, your uniform draped over one of the many chairs in your room, you decided to get right to Siren Seaside. Perching on the edge of your mattress, you figured you could relocate later, once you got a feel for the gameplay and what was required to progress. 

A cute little gull in a sailor’s cap flew down from the picturesque sky, stuck the landing in the sand and waved to the little avatar you had designed to resemble yourself. 

“Welcome to Paradise Shores!” The bird squawked. “We’re so happy you could join us.”

You smiled down at your D.D.D. screen, the gull’s cheery dance a fleeting moment before it deflated. An animated exhale told you the bird was disappointed. “See, Paradise Shores has fallen on some hard times lately…But surely, you can help us!”

The jingling music seemed to swell in the background as the bird perked up. It was a pleasant melody, all marimba, bass, and the soft tap of a snare. It was certainly evocative of a vacation. What you wouldn’t give for a piña colada in a coconut husk, right about now. 

“The island goddess is upset with us, for we’ve been too busy to worship at her altar…” Lifting its speckled wing to rub at its brow, careful not to knock its tiny sailor’s hat, it shot you a sheepish grin. With new enthusiasm, it explained, “That’s where you come in! If you can appease the goddess with some foraged offerings, she’s sure to breathe new life into Paradise Shores!”

The screen swiped to the next part of the tutorial, a graphic of waves pulling in the tide as instructions popped up onto your screen, as well as a request to grant access to other apps on your D.D.D.

FIRST TASK: Earn Paradise Points by moving throughout your world. Siren Seaside requires access to your camera, location, and fitness data to promote interacting with your reality to progress in game. Try taking a few steps while looking through your camera! 

You did as you were asked, rising from your bed and navigating through your room, through the lens of your D.D.D. You laughed, watching as the screen shifted with your movements. If you stepped towards the left, shifted your body in the same direction, you could make out a path leading into the island’s jungle. Swinging the device to the right pointed towards the pier. 

There was a voice singing along to the music now. Something low and jolly, harmonizing nicely with the brisk marimba. It resonated in your bones, an almost familiar nostalgia to the notes singing incomprehensible lyrics. 

Your gut told you to head for the pier. 

Stepping out of your room, you navigated towards your goal while walking through the House of Lamentation. You learned quickly that it didn’t matter what direction in which you were stepping in your reality. As long as you kept the screen angled to your destination in-game, then you progressed towards the pier. 

You were starting to notice a twang to the voice chanting in the music. It warmed your heart, the quirky little intonation choices the musician made. The melody seemed to swell with every step towards the waves that lapped at the legs of the pier, nearly knocking the pastel barnacles from the support beams. It was almost mesmerizing, the way the sea moved with the music, cresting at the highest note of the melodic malloting and falling away at the command of the voice.

The ocean itself glittered like jewels, freshly polished and examined beneath a spotlight. The seabreeze dusted your cheeks, cool and salty, and you wanted nothing more than to just submerge yourself into the water. It had been so long since you had been to the beach. Memories of dipping your toes into the shallows, laughing as you were sprayed by a nearby wave when it crashed onto the shore, flashed behind your eyes. 

Life was easier back then, wasn’t it?

You wet your dry, chapped lips, watching the water on the screen undulate in time to the steady beat of the soundtrack. You had a sports drink in the fridge, didn’t you? That would certainly quench your thirst. 

Allowing the tap of the snare, the clash of the hi-hat to accent the clap of your feet against the ground, you molded your movements to the melody swimming through your mind. Two steps forward, two pretty lines, almost cooed, by that achingly familiar voice. You stepped to the right–the music didn’t like that.

But the left? The marimba jingled in delight. 

Your throat itched, and no matter how much saliva you managed to swallow, it wasn’t enough. You were thirsty. So very thirsty. Longing for those better times, those beach days long gone where you could sip lemonade while the waves lapped at your ankles, at your waist, at your collarbones.

You were almost in the kitchen, the sports drink beckoning you. One sip and you’d be there, upon tropical shores. You were so parched, dehydrated, left to shrivel up and die in the scorching savannah in the southern region of the Devildom. That calming voice, the voice that promised relief. 

You just needed to reach into the fridge. 

One more step, and you would quench your thirst, dip your toes into the metaphorical ocean within the bottle. The voice encouraged you, praised your resolve. You were doing so well. You were going to get everything you wanted.

Just one.

More.

Step.

“H-HEY!” 

It was a distant sound, barely even perceptible as you settled into the cool bliss of the game, spirals of blue cradling your limbs and satisfying that pesky thirst. Oh, how sweet the taste of the drink, of the gentle crooning in your ear. Drink, it sang. Drink, and you will find peace. The way you sunk into the abyss, supported by those sugary sounds of comfort, floating in what you knew to be the heaven you had always longed for…Why, this game knew you better than you knew yourself.

SPLASH!

A flash of indigo, a tug on the collar of your shirt. Everything moved so slowly, sluggishly, like you were being pulled through mud. You felt the fingers dig into your wrist to check your pulse. You felt the quivering lips on your own, breathing life into your lungs. 

Next thing you knew, you were spewing water from your lungs, oxygen scorching the inside of your chest as your eyes flew open. 

“ARE YOU INSANE?!” Leviathan nails dug into your shoulders, frenzied eyes glistening as tears tracked down his face. Looming over you, he nearly eclipsed the pretty undulation of the aquarium reflection on his ceiling. 

You blinked. Your eyes stung, your lashes wet and your sinuses on fire. Each inhale shocked your system, and you barely dislodged his grip to roll over before you spit up water into his face. 

“I…” Speaking hurt. It hurt so much. But Levi was crouched there, confusion clashing the panic in his amber gaze, and you knew you had to explain. With a cough, you tried again, “I thought I was in the kitchen? I was so thirsty.”

Levi glanced around his room, as if he thought he was missing something. “Why would you think you’re in the kitchen?!” 

Spluttering, all you could manage was a meek, “How did you know where to find me?” 

“Because you passed everyone like a zombie and they’re freaking the Devildom out!” Levi threw up his arms, his aura overwhelming, pressing into you from where he paced around his room. It was oppressive, all fear and paranoia and the slightest pinch of betrayal. 

The world seemed fuzzy, as if you were peering in from outside your body. What happened? Why were you drenched? Why were you in Levi’s room? 

Why was he losing his shit? 

“Seriously!” His canines glinted in the blue light of the aquarium, “What were you thinking?”

Your tongue heavy in your mouth, it took effort to respond, “I was playing Siren Seaside… I was headed towards the pier…”

Brilliant eyes flicked to the D.D.D. glitching in the vice grip of your hand, water damage frying its insides. “Siren Seaside? Where did you hear about that?”

“You didn’t install it for me?”

“N-no?”

Something inside you went cold, an ice cube plopped into your stomach. Your voice dropping, piecing the puzzle together as you admitted, “It was on my D.D.D. when I woke up…”

“That’s because it’s cursed. It’s a cursed game!” Though Levi voiced your realization aloud, it failed to soothe your humiliation, your terror. “It’s meant to trick players into drowning themselves!” 

“Oh.” You answered dumbly, gooseflesh erupting over your forearms, creeping up your neck. You blinked your aching eyes, finally acknowledging the smudges and handprints on the glass of Levi’s massive aquarium. 

You supposed it made sense. Sirens were known to lure people to their death by drawing them in with a dangerous melody. You should have realized that. Hell, you had witnessed Levi and Beel struggle through making a cocktail while listening to Lucifer’s recording of a siren’s song. How had you missed something so obvious? 

Though the song, the voice, had felt so familiar. That’s what had mesmerized you, wasn’t it? That comforting twang, that gentle laugh. The game had used a voice that you associated with safety.

“I’m…” Levi’s breath ghosted over your ear, and you heard him plop down behind you. Before you could ask him what he was doing, his arms wound around your waist, pulled your spine to his chest. His long legs–sweatpants damp from the unavoidable splash of tugging you from the tank–bracketed yours, his entire frame curling around you as if to protect you from further harm. “I’m so glad I caught you.”

Your breath caught in your throat. He was trembling, you could feel his bones rattling against yours. Squeezing you tight, he nuzzled his face into the column of your throat, and you could have sworn you heard him whine something solemn and mournful. 

“Levi!” You protested, his grip around your middle turning a little too demon, “I can’t breathe!”

“Gah! S-sorry!” With a yelp, he loosened his arms, but refused to move from his position. It hurt your heart–Leviathan wasn’t the most physically affectionate of your housemates. You must have really scared him to prompt such a reaction. 

Hooking his chin over your shoulder, he gestured to the device flickering in your hand. In a commanding voice, low and rather unlike him, Levi insisted,  “Now, give me your D.D.D. We’re putting it in rice and deleting that game right away.”

As he grumbled to himself, his octave reflective of his distress, you couldn’t help but think…

That pretty crooning that harmonized beneath the marimba hadn’t sounded that different. 

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

OBEY ME! MONTH MASTERLIST

[bellvdonnv]

𝑃𝐸𝐿𝐴𝑆 𝑆𝑂𝑀𝐵𝑅𝐴𝑆 𝐷𝐸 𝐻𝐴𝐷𝐸𝑆 ! é 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐎, a filha de 𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑺 de 𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄 𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐄 anos, que segundo os arquivos do acampamento, está sob a proteção dos deuses há 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐙𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐒. apesar de ser 𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐋, 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄 𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄, quíron já perdeu horas de sono por sua natureza 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄, 𝐄𝐆𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀 𝐄 𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀 !

𝐏𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒 : manipulação de pecados - a capacidade de trazer à tona os piores vícios e pecados com um simples olhar, faz da filha do caos uma carta coringa no baralho de éris. belladonna é capaz de incitar até no mais plácido dos seres sentimentos de pura ira, orgulho e avareza — ao mesmo tempo em que se fortalece mentalmente —, os colocando em frenesi por preciosos intervalos de tempo ;

𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒 : vigor e agilidade sobre-humanos ;

𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀 : khaos phoroi - falx duplas, feitas de ouro celestial e adornadas com serpentes e espinhos em ferro estígio, são conhecidas por sua precisão e parecem ser envoltas pela aura caótica que se estende de belladona. quando inativas logo se desfazem em um bracelete duplo que se prende ao bíceps da semideusa ;

𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐂̧𝐀𝐎 : como punição por sua soberba, zeus concedeu à belladona uma armadilha esculpida de ouro imperial, que se reduz à uma gargantilha colada ao seu pescoço como uma coleira, e a torna mais suscetível a ser atingida por raios e eletricidade. por sorte o vigor herdado de sua ascendência divina permite com que se recupere sem sequelas permanentes, mas não a impede de praguejar o deus dos deuses, o que apenas agrava seu castigo ;

competidora de corrida de pégasos e membro do clube da luta, equipe azul !

𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐂̧𝐀𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 !

apelidos : della , donna , bella ( particularmente odeia este ) ;

data de nascimento : 21 de novembro ;

orientação sexual : bisexual ;

filiação : éris & dante caito ;

altura : 1,69 cm ;

cabelos : longos fios negros que parecem ter vida própria em momentos de turbulência ;

olhos : uma miríade de tons de azul, verde, cinza e pontos castanhos ;

tatuagens : desenhos de espinhos, entremeados com serpentes e flores, são salpicados por toda a extensão do corpo ;

piercings : apenas um furo na cartilagem esquerda, feito após muita persuasão de um filhe de afrodite. belladonna afirma que é a dor mais lancinante que já experenciou em toda sua existência — desmaiou antes mesmo que a agulha passasse pela incisão ;

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐒 : azula ( avatar ) , nesta archeron ( a court of thorns and roses ) , kai parker ( the vampire diaries ) , jang man wol ( hotel del luna ) & mazikeen ( lucifer ) ;

prole da noite, caos e discórdia correndo por seu sangue, belladona é a personificação dos alelos da escuridão divina e corrupção humana. dante caito, general corrompido que integrava a prestigiosa cúpula das forças armadas italianas, por muito fora objeto de desejo de éris, suas táticas e práticas imorais surtiam inspiração na primogênita da noite, personificação perversa do orgulho e antagonismo. um homem tão maculado em seu cerne, e uma deusa ensandecida em sua eternidade, supostamente, pela manutenção dos comos, não poderiam unir-se e gerar uma nova centelha, mas como um toque sádico, inerente à prole de nyx, do encontro entre o sobrenatural e o mundano, do jogo de ilusões e seduções, de surpresas e anseios proibidos, nada mais que um passatempo para a imortal, della surgia. a pequena alma não vinha ao mundo atribulada. pelo contrário, a caito era dotada da luminescência da mais fulgurosa das luas que compunham o domínio da noite, os olhos cravejados das mais esperançosas de suas estrelas, e igualmente desprezada por éris em seus anos precoces.

de paixões efêmeras e perturbadoras, dante não esperava que a criatura envolta no manto como breu pudesse ser consequência de suas indiscrições, mas com um breve olhar para os fios escuros e pele tão pálida como os feixes prateados da lua, sabia sua exata origem ao recobrar as sórdidas mem��rias. em sua extensão, indesejada, belladona, como fora obrigado a batizá-la, não exercia influência benigna alguma sob o militar, os diminutos dedos e enormes olhos não eram capazes de abrandar o âmago pútrido. não, a escuridão que parecia pairar sobre a pequena figura surtiam efeito reverso ao esperado de um genitor devoto e condecorado, imagem que o caito adotou em relutância quando percebeu que livrar-se da criança parecia ser impossível, sob a maldita influência de éris. então em meio à epítome dos ensejos mais caóticos e violentos que a natureza humana pudesse conjurar, belladona desenvolveu em sua infância os mais diversos instintos de sobrevivência e meios de escape da realidade enganosamente reluzente de um legado militar e opulento na sociedade de roma.

a natureza amena e melódica rapidamente viu-se em frangalhos com o lento e tortuoso passar dos anos, em seu encalço, uma mente ardil e cerne hostil se instalavam no diminuto corpo que dante moldava para ser sua maior arma e ficha de barganha. foi somente então que o olhar de sua mãe celestial repousara em si, quando nenhum resquício de ternura ameaçava compor os pilares que sustentavam-na, e ousou presenteá-la com algo que jamais tivera: afeição. quando os monstros que se esgueiravam por entre as luzes de roma, sobrenaturais e humanos, começaram a persegui-la, não tardou para que fosse encontrada pelo sátiro que lhe fora designado, e às pressas enviada para o acampamento do outro lado do mundo e bem, bem, bem longe dos seus pesadelos. assim pensava.

nem mesmo uma volta da terra em seu eixo passou para que a carruagem alada cercada de corvos reluzindo mais do que a lua fixa no céu pairasse sob della, a marcando e clamando como uma filha da discórdia. a caito encarou ceticamente a aparição da mãe divina, há muito aprendera sua lição em confiança, mas não esperava que o olhar da deusa fosse um de afeto, o que em perspectiva, a italiana jamais deveria ter acreditado, mas naquele momento encontrava-se em êxtase por finalmente pertencer. a ânsia de belladona em ser aceita, querida, apesar de há muito ter-se enrijecido para tais inquietações, fora ensejo para éris ter em suas garras mais um fantoche, um soldado em seu exército de adoradores. em nome de sua mãe, seria capaz de muito mais do que sob a rígida criação de dante, mas a ela não importava, afinal a deusa a reclamara com tamanho fulgor. ainda que a mesma a manipulasse com pesadelos que jamais externalizara.

éris velava seu interesse na aura que acompanhava sua semideusa. moldá-la de acordo com seus interesses e torná-la uma lança afiada em seu arsenal, era sua intenção, apenas um desenrolar da servitude de della. o ‘favor’ que tinha da deusa do caos e conflitos fez da italiana arrogante em seus anos sob a tutela de quíron, e não demorou para que a empáfia proveniente de suas desilusões a colocasse em confronto com o rei dos deuses. ao esbravejar em uma de suas recorrentes discussões com outros semideuses, que até mesmo o deus dos trovões fora incapaz de livrar-se da influência de sua mãe, e portanto o verdadeiro culpado por todo aquele fiasco que fora tróia, zeus, jamais conhecido por sua benevolência, a presenteou com uma maldição. a caito implorou pela deusa, mas não seria por ela que éris interviria. não era do feitio da celestial envolver-se nas batalhas de seus filhos, a não ser que para piorá-las, afinal encarava adversidades imprescindíveis para discernir entre aqueles dignos de carregarem sua linhagem.

marcada pelo esforço em cada um de seus passos e dotada de certa húbris, belladona tornou-se aquilo que a mãe esperava. após a derrota de gaia, felizmente se afastaria de todos do acampamento, não fosse o temor de ser descoberta por dante. com olhos oficiais, e não tão oficiais assim, em todas as partes do mundo, em pouco belladona seria descoberta.  apesar de suas habilidades, o pavor daquele que estrelava em seus pesadelos a tornaria vulnerável e alvo fácil para as manipulações patriarcais, noção pela qual punia-se diariamente. optou então por permanecer sob o manto de proteção dos deuses e em missões cada vez mais monótonas, ainda que bem sucedidas. enfadada com a previsibilidade de seus dias, não demorou para que ousasse se aventurar para nova roma, uma réplica um tanto saudosa da sua cidade natal, onde se instalou e teria permanecido por anos vindouros e novos desafios, não fosse a reverberação da voz embriagada de dionísio a compelindo para a colina na costa leste.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Sephiroth: what are doing?

Hojo being surrounded by beautiful women while getting a tan: Shouldn’t it be obvious?

Sephiroth: I fear I still don't understand, professor.

*Hojo takes a long sip from a piña colada and sighs*

Hojo: Since our recent data collected about your mental health showed that a lack of a maternal figure in your life may contribute to the apocalypse, I've took it upon myself to find you a mother.

Sephiroth:

Hojo:

Sephiroth: What the fuck

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

DATA COLADA GUYS CLEARED NOT CLICKBAIT!!!

this is the investigation last summer that used some Excel history sleuthing

[tecontos]

Enquanto o meu marido concentra para jogar o meu sogro vem cuidar de mim.

By; Babi

Ola, eu usarei o nome de Babi, já acompanho o Te Contos a um tempo, e gostaria de contar a minha historia, que aconteceu a cerca de 2 anos ( e continua acontecendo.).

Eu sou casada com um jogador de futebol e o acontecido ocorreu no aniversario do meu sogro, que estava completando cinquenta e dois anos e resolveu comemorar a data, realizando um churrasco em sua chácara, ele convidou vários amigos e toda a família, inclusive eu que sou a sua norinha favorita, meu marido no sábado estava concentrado no clube, para jogar no domingo, então eu fui sozinha ao churrasco.

Eu conheci o meu marido numa casa de massagem para homens onde eu trabalhava, e rapidamente nós nos casamos, meu sogro passou a ser o meu admirador numero um, ele sempre me amou de paixão, ele não via a hora de ficar sozinho comigo, para me dar uma cantada e umas passada de mão, na minha bunda.

No dia do churrasco, eu sabia que lá ia ter muitos homens gostosos, então resolvi me vestir com uma roupa bem sexy, só para provocar, coloquei uma calça leg. branca e uma blusinha preta, que ficava bem justinha no meu corpo, como os biquinhos dos meus seios estavam durinhos, dava pra todo mundo ver que eu estava sem sutiã, á calça ficou tão justa no meu corpo, que o volume da minha buceta ficou bem saliente, ainda mais que eu estava sem calcinha o tecido entrou na minha buceta, dividindo os lábios vaginais ou meio, quem me olhava de frente, tinha á impressão que eu estava nua, comecei a tomar caipirinha, logo me animei e comecei a dançar, com os amigos do meu marido, quando eu percebi o meu sogro estava me comendo com os olhos.

Ele me olhava, com uma cara de tarado, olhava para meu corpo e passava a língua nos lábios, no começo achei estranho, mas depois de beber umas e outras comecei a achar aquilo bem excitante, ele me chamou para dançar, eu já estava toda suada, minha roupa estava colada no corpo, ele dançava e se esfregava em mim, eu com aquela calça coladinha, comecei a sentir, o seu pau encostado nas minhas coxas, quanto mais ele me apertava e se esfregava em mim, eu ia sentindo que a minha bucetinha, estava ficando molhada e latejava de tanto tesão, ele sussurrou no meu ouvido

- disfarça que vai ao banheiro, que eu te espero lá dentro.

Como todo mundo estavam do lado de fora da casa, meu sogro deu a volta e entrou pela porta da sala, eu entrei pela porta da cozinha, quando eu estava passando pelo corredor, ele me puxou para dentro do seu quarto, eu levei um susto, quando vi que ele estava com o pau de fora me esperando, ali ele me abraçou, me beijou, alisou a minha buceta, apertou a minha bunda e chupou o meu seio, eu estava segurando no seu pau, que já estava babando de tanto tesão, quando ele começou a tirar a minha calça, ouvimos um barulho, eu me vesti rapidamente e saímos, disfarçadamente.

Lá fora nos encontramos de novo, mas para que ninguém, desconfiasse de alguma coisa, eu comecei a dançar com a minha sogra.

No final da festa, depois que todo os convidados haviam ido embora, o meu sogro foi me levar pra casa, mal entramos em casa, ele foi tirando a camisa e me puxando com força, tirou minha blusa e começou a chupar os meus seios com muita vontade, passava a língua nos biquinhos como um louco, sua mão massageava a minha buceta, que já estava molhadinha, ele pegou minha calça com os dentes e foi tirando, sua respiração forte e quente, eu podia sentir na minha bucetinha, que estava toda depilada, enquanto ele me chupava, eu ia massageando seu pau, com a minha boca, depois coloquei ele todo em minha boca, chupava com muita força e vontade, tocava no fundo da minha garganta, ele gemia e pulava de tesão;

Eu já estava louca, para sentir aquele pau, entrando na minha buceta, fiquei de quatro, ele veio como um louco e enfiou sem dó, senti aquele pau enorme entrando na minha bucetinha, dei um grito de dor e tesão ao mesmo tempo, ele estava muito louco, ele socava sem parar, eu toda molhadinha gemia e gritava, aquele pau estava delicioso, me virei de frente e abri as pernas, ele olhou para meu corpo e falou,

- meu deus que buceta linda e gostosa

Ele veio pra cima de mim e beijava a minha boca, meu pescoço e socou o pau na minha buceta com muita vontade, eu sentia aquele pau enorme no vai e vem, minha bucetinha latejava de prazer, foi quando senti o meu gozo, escorrendo pelas minhas pernas, era um liquido quente e cremoso, aquilo deixou o meu sogro louco de tesão, ele tirou o seu pau da minha buceta e ficou em pé, eu me levantei e ele gozou no meu rosto, na minha boca, no meu pescoço e nos meus seios, enquanto ele gozava em mim, eu massageava a minha bucetinha, com muita vontade, até que gozei de novo.

Eu chupei o seu pau ate ficar bem limpinho, depois ele me deu um banho bem gostoso, para completar a noite, ele me levou pra cama, me colocou de quatro e socou o pau no meu cuzinho, meu deus o homem estava louco de tesão, parecia que ele não via uma mulher á anos, não demorou muito, ele gozou dentro do meu cuzinho, meu cu ficou cheio de porra, depois de tomarmos outro banho de chuveiro, ele me deu outro banho de língua, me fazendo gozar na sua boca mais uma vez...

Depois disso, eu precisei mandar ele ir embora, porque a minha sogra já tinha ligado, procurando por ele, mas na semana seguinte, lá estava o meu sogro de novo, com uma cesta de chocolates e um pau duro pra eu chupar.

Ele continua metendo o pau na buceta e no meu cu quase todas as vezes que meu marido tem viagem para jogar em outro estado.

Enviado ao Te Contos por Babi

[tired-momfriend]

Not that anyone asked, but as a kid I had the biggest crush on Levar Burton from reading rainbow. Like, he was my dream guy. Calming, nice, handsome, loved books? Sign 9 year old me up!

Growing up, I was also a huge star trek fan. It should come as no surprise that I also had the biggest crush on (you guessed it!) Geordi La Forge.

Also Data but that's a story for another time lmaoo

The funny part about this is that I had no idea that they were both played by Levar Burton. I just knew one as Mr Reading Rainbow and the other as Geordi La Forge. It doesn't help things that I have always had trouble recognizing facial features, and Geordi had the most defining facial feature covered by a visor.

Keep in mind, I also grew up having a very black and white view on romance and relationships. I genuinely thought I was somehow evil for having a crush on two different dudes. I thought Zeus was gonna strike me down.

Imagine how I must have felt when I found out the Truth.

It felt like worlds collided for me.

I felt like how the dude from the piña colada song must have felt.

I felt free.

[silentchamp]

“Rules”: repost with the information of your muse, including headcanons, etc. If you fail to achieve some of the facts, feel free to add some other of your own! When you’re done, tag 15 other people to do the same!

tagged by: Stolen :)

tagging: @greenxprof @disturbnot hope you like dashboard memes

THE BASICS

Name: Red Suzuki Age: 30 (Verse-dependent) Birthdate: Feburary 27th, 1993 Species: Human Gender: Cisgender male (he/him) Orientation: Bisexual Profession: Lab assistant; consultant for Pokemon League, Pikachu enjoyer

PHYSICAL FEATURES

Hair: Ash-brown Eyes: A dim orange, kinda like the sunset. Skin: Olive in tone. Decorated with several scars across his body varying in size. Height: 5'11" / 180 cm Weight: A little over average; muscular.

FAMILY

Siblings: None. He might adopt you as a younger sibling if he takes kindly to you, though. Parents: His mother, Yumi. His father, Aki; deceased. Grandparents: Deceased. Other Relatives: Lt. Surge (Step-father), Iono (Step-sibling)

SKILLSET

Proficient in pokemon battling; held champion title for years before retiring. Shows exemplary skill in wilderness survival. Fluent in multiple forms of sign language. Pretty good at video games, albeit older video games and not so much newer ones. Knowledgeable in pokemon data and information. Knows how to play hacky-sack.

TRAITS

POSITIVE // Considerate. Quiet. Innovative (mostly spur of the moment). Good listener. Loyal. NEGATIVE // Rash. Struggles to describe his feelings. Overpowering. Overly stubborn. NEUTRAL // Semi-pragmatic; but occasionally driven by want.

LIKES

Colors: Mustard, coral, peach. Smells: Freshly-baked pecha berry; meat over an open flame. Textures: Silk, cotton. Chilled metal. Drinks: Water, electrolyte drinks, pina coladas.

EXTRA DETAILS

Smokes?: Nope. Drugs: Nada. Driver License: If he drives, there's gonna be an accident. Been Arrested?: No, but has narrowing avoided such several times.

[beardedmrbean]

If Harvard Business School is successful in stripping Professor Francesca Gino of tenure, it could be the very first time any faculty member at Harvard University has lost the lifetime protection tenure offers a faculty member.

Harvard’s Office of the President notified Gino that it had begun the process of reviewing her tenure on July 28 over allegations of research misconduct, nine years to the month in which she was promoted to a full professor and granted  tenure by Harvard Business School on July 1 of 2014. HBS Dean Srikant Datar had already put Gino on an unpaid administrative leave, banned her from campus, revoked her named professorship, and prevented the professor from publishing on Harvard Business School platforms. Gino’s lawyers, who filed a $25 million lawsuit against Harvard, HBS Dean Datar and the authors of the Data Colada blog that initially alleged data fraud in her research, confirmed that the process had begun.

If Gino loses tenure, it would likely be the first time Harvard University has forcibly stripped a tenured faculty member’s position since the 1940s, when the American Association of University Professors formalized tenure rules. Tenured faculty have long been considered invincible. More often than not, professors who are under pressure from a  university administration voluntarily surrender their tenure or simply retire.

Harvard’s own rules maintain that it has the power to dismiss a tenured professor “only for grave misconduct or neglect of duty,” though it does not define those terms

The Harvard Crimson, the university’s student newspaper, noted the challenges of the process. “Gino’s tenure review promises to be a complex process, even without considering the ongoing lawsuit,” according to the Crimson. “Before the Harvard Corporation — the University’s highest governing body — makes a final determination, the complaint must pass through reviews by two separate bodies. First, a Screening Committee must make an initial assessment of the claims against Gino. If it decides further action is warranted, this first committee makes a recommendation to a Hearing Committee. This second committee, composed of tenured professors, then conducts an investigation and recommends further action to the Corporation, which has final jurisdiction over tenure revocation.”

That review will occur while Gino’s lawsuit moves forward in U.S. District Court in Boston. Gino received the  notice from Harvard five days before she filed her Aug. 2 lawsuit alleging defamation, breach of contract and gender discrimination.

An award-winning behavioral scientist at Harvard Business School, Gino was first accused of fabricating data by Data Colada in July of 2021 when authors of the blog approached Harvard Business School with their allegations. According to her lawsuit, Dean Datar negotiated a secret agreement with Data Colada, putting off the publication of their posts until HBS had the opportunity to investigate the claims. After an 18-month-long investigation by a three-person committee of former and current HBS professors, the panel concluded that Gino was responsible for research misconduct. Dean Data accepted the committee’s verdict and suggested punishment on June 13th of this year. Gino has maintained her innocence throughout, raising questions about the fairness of the process as well as the harshness of the penalties imposed on her.

Word of the school’s findings quickly leaked out. A mere three days later, in a June 16th article entitled A Weird Research-Misconduct Scandal About Dishonesty Just Got Weirder, the Chronicle of Higher Education reported that one of Gino’s co-authors claimed that Harvard found that one study contained even more fraudulent data than previously revealed and was now asking the journal to note this new information. It was quickly followed within 24 hours by more detailed reporting by Data Colada with the start of a four-part series examining data in four separate studies co-authored by Gino. “We wrote a report about four studies for which we had accumulated the strongest evidence of fraud,” the blog authors asserted. “We believe that many more Gino-authored papers contain fake data. Perhaps dozens.”

HBS Dean Datar sent an email to the school’s faculty on the Chronicle’s article. “Last Friday,” he wrote, “the Chronicle of Higher Education published an article describing concerns that have been raised about the research of a member of our faculty, Francesca Gino, as well as steps the School is taking with journals and co-authors to correct the scientific record. Other outlets are beginning to carry stories as well. While I know you may have questions, confidentiality is an important consideration in these matters. I realize this runs counter to our longstanding norms of transparency and communication but hope that you can appreciate and understand the reasons for this approach.

DEAN DATAR HAD THE SCHOOL’S WEBSITE MAKE CLEAR THAT  GINO WAS PLACED ON ADMINISTRATIVE LEAVE

“As reflected on Professor Gino’s public Faculty & Research page, she is now on an administrative leave. We have been taking steps to ensure that her responsibilities are transitioned-working, for example, with the Doctoral Programs leadership to support PhD students, and with the leaders of our educational programs to adjust teaching assignments. I am grateful to those of you who have stepped up to help. If you have a question about an activity or collaboration and have not yet been contacted, please let me know.

“Research integrity is and must be one of our core values as an institution. I am grateful for your unwavering commitment to advancing knowledge and for being a vital part of our vibrant research communitv.”

Many in the faculty were shocked, if not horrified. They believed Gino was a person of high integrity and would never have manipulated data in a study. In fact, every witness interviewed by the committee that investigated the charges said exactly that.

Harvard has consistently declined public comment on the case, but after Gino file her lawsuit, he wrote another email to the faculty defending his decision to discipline Gino.  ” I ultimately accepted the investigation committee’s recommended sanctions, which included immediately placing Professor Gino on administrative leave and correcting the scientific record (a measure incumbent on every responsible academic institution when research misconduct is found),” Datar wrote. “I did so after consulting confidentially with a small number of individuals at HBS and Harvard, including senior faculty members here at the School, as is permitted by our policy. The sanctions reflect a shared belief that the misconduct represented a significant violation of academic integrity and that the evidence not only met but surpassed the applicable preponderance of evidence standard. I shared my conclusions with Professor Gino and, in accordance with our policy and consistent with University practice, began implementing the institutional actions.”

Gino’s lead attorney, Andrew Miltenberg, was little impressed byDatar’s  defense. “Dean Datar’s email to faculty leaves many questions unanswered,” he told Poets&Quants. “For example, why was a brand new policy put in place in 2021 for Professor. Gino, and yet it was only now – in 2023 – being shared with faculty?,” he asks. “And furthermore, why were faculty not consulted at all on this new policy?Why specifically was Harvard abandoning its former policy and tailoring a new one specifically for Professor Gino? And why, after they rushed to put it in place, did Harvard fail to follow that policy as stated?”

DON’T MISS: WHAT FRANCESCA GINO’S HARVARD LAWSUIT SAYS ABOUT DATA COLADA’S FRAUD ALLEGATIONS or  THE ACADEMIC MOB COMES FOR A HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL THOUGHT LEADER

[sigmaleph]

actually might as well make this a post of its own instead of a tag ramble.

a while back, Data Colada talked about a paper that supposedly found evidence that people are less dishonest if you ask them to sign a statement of honesty before providing information rather than afterwards (e.g. you have a form where people might misreport data to benefit themselves, you want people not to lie on it, their claim is you should put the box saying "all the information i provided is accurate" at the top of the page rather than the bottom). they think (for reasons they go into detail about, read the blogpost if you care) that data for one of the studies in that paper was fraudulent.

then, like a couple days ago, they had another post, about another study in that same paper. They think it's also fraudulent. They think the fraud was done by someone else.

Or, to quote them on the subject:

That’s right: Two different people independently faked data for two different studies in a paper about dishonesty.

[feraltwinkseb]

Using the very last dredges of my cell data to come on here and say that I’d do anything for an F1 themed fic based on Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

[k3fanblog]

Best K3 song bracket! - Recap

I have a lot of data from the polls so I used it to make a full ranking of all 128 songs that made it to the bracket. For this I used two rules: songs that made it to later rounds would be ranked higher than songs eliminated earlier and within a round the songs would be ordered by the absolute number of votes they got, this felt fairer than the percentage, because almost anything got obliterated by Oya lélé, but for example Opa still managed to get 5 votes in the first round, which I think is more impressive than getting 4 votes in a poll with 20 votes in total. (Opa had a percentage of 11.4, 4 votes of 20 would be 20%), because a lower number of total votes seems to imply people cared less about both songs.

Anyway having said that, some fun facts:

3 songs only got 1 vote in total, De aarde beeft, K3 Kan Het! and Oh ja (Though Kus van de juf only got 1 vote in round 2)

Top 3 songs that did better than their original rank would have expected are: 3) Verliefd (3 biggetjes), was ranked at 103 and ended up in place 10; 2) Hokus pokus dikke dokus, was ranked at 119 and ended up in place 22, and; 1) Mr. De president, originally ranked 114th and ended in place 16

On the other hand top 3 songs that did worse than expected: 3) Whoppa! ranked 43 and ended in place 120; 2) Jij bent mijn Gigi, ranked 21 and ended in place 106, and; 1) Dans van de farao, ranked 14 and also ended up in place 106 (both got the same number of votes)

Hippie shake on the other hand performed exactly as expected, it was ranked 8th and ended up in 8th place

The highest ranking non-og songs are 10.000 luchtballonnen and Mamasé at a shared 18th place

The highest ranking hmj song is Superster at the 32nd place

Full ranking behind the cut

(I used Tumblr's enumerated list, so the shared places aren't shown. Just remember that from place 20 on most spots are pretty close together.)

Oya lélé

Tele-Romeo

Alle Kleuren

Hart verloren

De 3 biggetjes

Superhero

Frans liedje

Hippie shake

Toveren

Liefdeskapitein

Verliefd (3 biggetjes)

I love you baby

Ya ya yippee

Trouwen

Je hebt een vriend

Mr. De president

Heyah mama

10.000 luchtballonnen

MaMaSé

Leonardo

Feest

Hokus Pokus Dikke Dokus

Blub, ik ben een vis!

Loko le

Zou er iemand zijn op Mars?

Kuma hé

Eeuwig en altijd

Love boat baby

Baby come back

Luka Luna

1,2 doe met me mee

Superster

Verliefd

Zonder liefde

Waterval

Kusjesdag

Oma's aan de top

Pina Colada

Yippee yippee

Waar zijn die engeltjes

Hallo K3

Dieper dan de zee

Laat de wind maar waaien

Bikini vol zand

Dokter dokter

Op elkaar

Jongens zijn gek!

Roller Disco

Borst vooruit

Parels

Jij bent de bom!

Jij bent mooi

Yeke yeke

Willem-Alexander

Vleugels

Visje in het water

Wij zijn gibbertjes

Altijd blijven dromen

Zwaai als je verliefd bent

De wereld van K3

Mama's en papa's

Ushuaia

Lollypopland

Kus van de juf

Handjes draaien

De Weddenschapsgospel

Eyo!

Alice in Wonderland

Papapa

Amor

Meiden van de brandweer

Leukste van het land

Koning Willem-Alexander

Ali Baba

Bubbel

Nooit meer oorlog

Iedereen is anders

Mango mango

De politie

Play-O

De revolutie!

K3 Loves You!

Als het binnenregent

Beter als je danst

Disco Oma

Land van de regenboog

Ster aan de hemel

SMS

Hey hallo

Zonnestraaltje

Kusjessoldaten

Tjikke boem

Piramide van liefde

Prinses

Ster

Een ongelooflijk idee

Keileuke zomer

Liefde is overal

Jodelee

Parapluutje

En ik dans

Rokjes

De Gordel is er weer

Drums gaan boem

Verliefd zijn

Dans van de farao

Jij bent mijn Gigi

Eya Hoya!

Je mama ziet je graag

Jupiter

Liefde geeft je vleugels

Opa

K3-Airlines

Aliyee

Telepathie

Altijd van je dromen

Ra-ta-ta-ta

Iedereen K3

Zeg eens AAA

Whoppa!

Beroemd

Wat ik wil

Dubbeldekkertrein

Wanneer zie ik jou terug

Giddy-up-a-gogo

De aarde beeft

K3 Kan Het!

Oh ja

[allalrightagain]

It took three days of dysautonomia hell/beachy paradise* before I even started to flare up, and based on my not-at-all scientific data, the secret appears to be nonalcoholic piña coladas**

*dysautonomia hell here meaning cold hotel rooms, hot temps, dehydration worsened by my only drink choices being sugary or sugary and alcoholic, big meals with lots of protein, and more walking than I’m used to

** there is legitimate reasons behind this, likely the amount of potassium/electrolytes from the coconut water. However, I am absolutely leaning into the healing power of what is essentially a nondairy pineapple milkshake 😂