#darkshark

[the-rodhaj]

We got that crewww!

And the best for last, me!

We are the darksharks! And we are going to take over the world!

As long as that pesky prophecy doesn’t get in the way

[amerwitch]

I get to see my DarkShark Friday!!!

Iron Man 3 (2013), dir. Shane Black

[amerwitch]

Let's. Fucking. Go.

sometimes it's not the story we tell but how we tell it...

“Are you ever going to write about your trip to Springfield?”

“No, I am going to let that weekend rot away into the dark.”

“You had fun.  You came home with an opossum.”

“And a snapper.”

“Tell me about it.”

“The snapper?”

“The whole fucking weekend!”

“I was a grown up and booked the hotel room and rented the car all by myself.  It was the first steps for this weekend.

“I felt better once I got the car, the 2023 new shiny object named Charlotte.

“I loaded up the car to find out the fucking car has no USB port.  It’s all C ports.”

“What the hell?”

“And it didn’t like Google maps and I wasn’t going to subscribe for a few days and I am so fucking tired of everything being a subscription-based life.

“I’m on the road, listening to my podcast, made it all the way to Springfield without crying.  I make it to Chili’s and txt Nicole for our lunch date.”

“How adult of you.”

“I know!

“Anyway, we lunch, I get my nose pierced, I buy a tarot deck, and set up an appointment for a tattoo.”

“A tattoo?!?”

“Yeah.  We will talk about that later.” 

“Much later.”

“I make it back to the hotel and crank the air down to ice and just relax.  I have the whole room to myself, and unpack.

“I loved the fact that I will be the only one in this room.  That I have full control over where things and how I can keep it neat.

“I lay on the bed, pop out my tablet and keep on my rewatch of Gray’s Anatomy.”

“Was that the only thing you watch?”

“Yes.  I started way back in March and I was able to keep going.  No time wasting going over all the different streaming services, no time wasted scrolling thought all the shows and movies just to watch the same fucking movie, over and over.”

“Or watching something for an hour and then switching to something else and being told that you are not watching, even thought you had no desire to watch the show and told said person that.”

“None of that fuckery happen.”

“Tell me about Colt.”

“He came over, Nicole came over.  Next time, I want a pizza party, an old fashion slumber party type.”

“How is our DarkShark?”

“His ass was giving him problems.”

“He is an ass.”

“It happens.”

“Not the brightest crayon in the box but he’s our favorite color.”

“It was a fun small night.  They go home and I am left with a king size bed all to myself.”

“Not just an ass width on the edge?”

“The whole fucking thing.”

“Nice.”

“Wake up, made a Walmart run for breakfast, fucking app is worthless, back to the room and then Nicole comes over and we make our way the Alamo for the movie.”

“Tell me about the movie!  Give me all the spoilers!”

I watched all the X-men cartoons, the new olds, and then a watch/rewatch of all the X-Men movies.  I could see where Fox was going with the movies but, they lack heart.  They kept throwing in more and more characters that just show up for a movie and then to be never seen again and, why?  What’s the point of a one-night stand?”

“Are you just spoiled with having the MCU?”

“Maybe.”

“Did you watch the Deadpool movies?”

“Yes.  And the weird thing about those movies, they felt they had heart.”

“Heart?  Deadpool?”

“First one was a love story, 2nd was a found family thing.  With all the fourth wall breaking and f-bombs, they had heart.  They had a story.  They made you care.  X-Men just felt they forced a story on you, based on the love of the comic and cartoons.”

“It’s hard to care about characters when you don’t have any emotional attachment to them and the movie is banking on some feels from a cartoon show you were supposed to base your childhood on.”

“Fair.  What about this movie?”

“Deadpool is about sacrilegious.  And they started off with sacrilegious.  And the movie went off from there.”

“What was your favorite parts?”

“Well, Chris Evans showed up and right when we thought he was gonna yell ‘Avengers assemble’ he yelled ‘Flame on.’”

“No!”

“And I didn’t think I was going to go so feral when Blade showed up.”

“Blade!”

“Wesley still has it.

“And then, he showed up.”

“Who?!?”

“Channing Tatum as Gambit.”

“Oh, my gods.  They went there.”

“They went to a lot of places.  One of them had comic book accurate short Wolverine.”

“You thought of him, right there, didn’t you?”

“Yes.  I thought of him off and on during the movie.”

“He’s not coming back.”

“It’s a matter of I am not taking him back.  Back to the movie!

“Overall, that movie had heart.  It was a buddy flick of found familyness?”

“Did they kiss?”

“The Internet has deemed the fight scene in the van as them fucking.”

“Nice.”

“After the movie, we made our way to Bass Pro Shop to find an opossum.  I did not think it would be so fucking hard to find an opossum at freaking Bass Pro Shop.  Tons of penguins to buy.

“Nicole found an opossum, right after I found a snapping turtle.  My budget was $50, both were $20 and both came home.

“We decide in the parking lot that Nicole would stay home and me and Colt would hit the bar that night.

“Colt took a nap.”

“You haven’t napped since the Reagan administration.”

“Damn right.

“I woke his ass up, we went to Taco Bell, and then the bar,”

“And the drinking and gummies?”

“Yes.”

“Do anything fun?”

“Well, I’m Tinder now.”

“How’s that going?”

“I gave Colt my phone and he is going on Tinder and I am like ‘No!!!!’ and he is SWIPEING RIGHT!

“Then we are chatting with a guy and I don’t know what I am doing and Colt just unmatched me with him because Colt said something (I am drunk, it is loud, and it’s been a few days since this happen) about how this guy isn’t respecting me and that Colt respects me.

“And then the other morning it hits me hard:  Colt kept asking me if I was ok, all night long.  If Matthew was there, he would be asking me what he was doing wrong.

“Colt was asking about me.  Because he cares about me.  To make sure I was ok while taking in all the alcohol and pot and the vibes of the places.

“Colt is the better boyfriend.  He sees me as a whole person.  I am more than just parts to fuck; I am a whole human to him.

“OH!  And then the witchcraft stuff I discover!”

“At the bar?”

“Yes!

“I am at the bar.  I am drunk.  I am high.  The music.  The lights.  It hits me.

“This is how my ancestors use to do it.  They would eat the mushroom, and with the firelights in the caves and the drums beating, this is how they did it, this is how I am doing it now.  Eons have pasted and this is the same thread.”

“What about the other things?”

“So, it hits me before seeing Dr. Strange a few years back that if crystals can store energy, and crystals are just fancy rocks, then the rocks from back yard can store energy and I can store the energy from the bar into a rock and take it home.  And I did it.

“So, while at the bar this time, I just let everything in me.”

“That’s what she said.”

“ANYWAY, I don’t know if it’s because I work retail or just the way I am, I feel that I am always shielding so hard, nothing can get in or out. 

“So, when I went to the backyard to do some praying a few days after I came back, I hit me.

“While in the bar, I was taking in the energy, vibes.  It was in me.  I woke up the next day needing a cheeseburger because I wasn’t grounded.

“If rocks can store energy and our bones are stones, then all those vibes of the bar are in me, it’s stored in my bones.  I carry that with me, at all times.  I don’t need a rock or that.”

“Oh wow.”

“I know.

“Sunday was spent visiting my people.  It was good quality time.  Sunday night was a whole pizza for myself and TV time.

“Monday, I left, driving out of the city in a way that would make Colt proud of me.”

“That’s scary to think about.”

“I made it home.”

“You had a good time.”

“I had a wonderful time.  It’s been a month and I am going back 36 odd days.”

“For your birthday?”

“Yes.”

“Gonna party like it’s 1999?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“Let’s fucking go then.”

[jandrs]

You were too independent. Too self sufficient. For your own good. So when the time came that you needed me. I was devastatingly unprepared. I didnt know what to do. I couldnt help you. And I am so sorry. I'm going to miss you. So many people are going to miss you. You were so incredibly loved and I hope you knew that

[davidssecretlover]

David Bowie, 1977

Photo © Clive Arrowsmith

Source DarkShark/Twitter 

[kattsy]

Very happy with the way my #Eno #illustration turned out from his early #RoxyMusic days in all his #glam glory! #BrianEno #glamrock #ambient #wizard #VCS3 #CPL593H #illcomerunningtotieyourshoe #darkshark #nonmusician #herecomethewarmjets #producer #fashion #drawing #sketchbook #portrait #likeness #artist #myart #maryiversonart #plumes #feathers #brianenomusic https://www.instagram.com/p/B1Wq89QFNUH/?igshid=99xwtikx686h

[jmunneytumbler]

Jackass Forever' Just Might Be the Most Beautiful Film of the Year

jackass forever (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures and MTV Entertainment Studios) Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Wee Man, Chris Pontius, Dave England, Danger Ehren, Preston Lacy, Sean “Poopies” McInerney, Jasper Dolphin, Zach Holmes, Rachel Wolfson, Eric Manaka, Compston “Darkshark” Wilson Director: Jeff Tremaine Running Time: 96 Minutes Rating: R for Ill-Advised Stunts That Frequently Involve…

[steel-dragon]

for the dnd ask thing, 1, 4, 6, 35, 12, and uhh 13 owo?

Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.O:

1. Favorite character that you have played 

,,,I,, love Elekantar?? He’s a sad boy who wants his dead husband back :( Fir is also very good tho cause #lesbians 

4. Your current campaign

I have like,,, 5,, There’s Group Therapy in which we’re currently trying to overthrow the government and 90% of the party are useless lesbains (DMed by @speechjam). Then there’s Darkshark which is a campaign based on Dark Souls and we’re all tryin to figure out Why We’re Coming Back To Life (Dmed by @lyssatbqh). There’s also Curse of Strahd, which we might be calling Fuck Strahd Crew?? Idk. (DMed by @lizardsister). One of my long time friends just started DMing a campaign for us and we’re trapped in a cave rn, so. Dont really know the plot yet. (He doesn’t have a Tumblr, scrub). And then my newer friend Stephen is starting a campaign for monster hunting soon o:

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

I,, really like Claria and Elekantar’s death in Darksharks. Claria tried to talk to the fucking demon that was attacking. She then ran from that one to get crushed by a different one.

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

“What’s your password???” Our one player can never remember her password for Roll20. Also the Curse of Strahd being Everyone’s Connection Issues. 

13. Introduce your current party.

Ohhhh. Ohhhhh there’s so manyyyy. I’ll do Group Therapy.

Okay, so, there’s Fir, my fire genasi cleric of Ilmater, who’s Big Gay for Solira and just REAL slutty

Solira is our Sun Elf Druid who turns into a deer when upset, played by @lyssatbqh

There’s Camilla, a Big Buff barbarian human (used to be paladin for the Raven Queen) with a badass eyepatch and family issues, who is currently on hiatus played by @calebwizardgast 

Gwyn is THE queen of useless lesbians. She’s our elf warlock, also for the Raven Queen. She’s died before and canonically has a Hot Bod because the Raven Queen gave it to her. Played by @lizardsister

Artemis is played by Stephen and he’s a cool shadow rouge and half wood elf. He’s SO badass and cool and also Got Some last session so good on him. 

Val is our wonderful dwarf fighter. She is,, sunshine,,??? She’s played by @unexpectedbioluminescence

Right now @northwasfound is guest starring as Riben, who’s a cool half-elf bard that totally got Fir a kissu from her crush. A true Ally. 

35. I haven’t DMed (yet) but,,, I’m a SLUT for RP. 

[faunusrights]

do not fear it is i, having changed the icon to something even more seasonally appropriate

aka dark n cloudy as heck

[jackassconfessions]

welcome to jackass confessions!

rules:

don’t be a dick.

homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, etc are strictly forbidden. this is a tumblr for everybody to enjoy.

please only send 5 max at once (per person) this blog is run by one person and it can get really tough really quick.

if you have any issues, please take them up with me and we can chat about them privately.

have fun!

looking for a confession regarding a particular cast member? check here!

jackass and wildboyz:

johnny knoxville

chris pontius

bam margera

steve-o

ryan dunn

danger ehren

dave england

wee man

preston lacy

loomis fall

manny puig

stephanie hodge

poopies

rachel wolfson

✩ jasper

✩ eric manaka

✩ darkshark

✩ zachass

viva la bam:

raab himself

✩ dico

brandon novak

rake yohn

tim glomb

april margera

✩ phil margera

jimmy pop

the crew:

spike jonze

jeff tremaine

rick kosick

✩ dimitry elyashkevich

jackass family/wives:

mae pontius

✩ shawna england

lux wright

(note: any name marked with ✩ has no confessions yet, but the link to their designated tag still works.)

[usafphantom2]

RYAN DARKSHARK

[oddhousemates]

The capricious Scott Laughton (alias “the Dark Shark”) awaits you in the Dreamtime.

[belladonna-miranda]

Danger Wildboy: After the Feud

This is it: Team Knoxville have defeated Jeff Tremaine's army with Ehren's 21-point answer about Rock, Paper, Scissors

Ehren jumps with joy over his victory and hugs his teammates in celebration

Meanwhile, Pontius bawls over losing to his best frenemy and congratulates Ehren over his victory

Pontius: Congratulations on the win, Danger Ehren! Now you get to donate to the Special Olympics. Ehren, sobbing with excitement: Thank you, Pontius. I never knew I could defeat Tremaine after a shitty first two rounds. (hugs Pontius while Dave awkwardly watches them) Pontius: Sorry for stealing your boy, Dave, but you managed to defeat my team with just one top answer. Dave: How dare you. Just kidding. (Tears continue to run down Ehren's face as he confesses his love for Pontius. The two Jackasses proceed to share a kiss in front of the rest of the cheering contestants) Ehren: Guess who just lost Family Feud but won my heart after years of ridicule! Pontius. (points to Pontius) Sorry, Dave. Dave, pulling Ehren away from Pontius: Fuck off, Ehren.

Now that Knoxville has defeated Tremaine, he gets to take Ehren, Preston, Dave, Rachel, and Jasper to the after party at Knoxville's place

Pontius tags along despite losing Celebrity Family Feud

Rachel and Ehren taunt Pontius that the ghost of Ryan Dunn's possessing him the next full moon after the game. Why not the rest of Team Tremaine: Wee Man, Butterbean, Zach, DarkShark (Jasper's dad), or even Tremaine himself?

As revenge for tasering him throughout the game, Ehren tasers Pontius and Knoxville and Rachel gelatinizes Pontius's soda. Rachel, Ehren, and Pontius then use their powers to prank the rest of Team Knoxville while The Prodigy's "Warrior's Dance" plays in the background.

Rachel even teaches Ehren and Pontius how to roll a blunt, which the former then smokes

In the end, Dave doesn't care about Ehren hanging out with Pontius instead of him, and Rachel coins the ship name "Danger Wildboyz" because Pontius ditched Steve-O for the shy yet bubbly Ehren

[amerwitch]

I'm eating microwave quesadillas in bed after having such a fun night with my DarkShark.

This trip has been so wonderful.

The Trip!

What up bitches! Back in the day I would live Tweet my fun trips. Well, Twitter is trash, I broke up with an fucking toxic ex, and this is my 1st trip out about about and on my own. I think I am packed and ready to get in the car and drive for 3 hours. Join me! It will be fun and queer and witchy and I packed weed and vodka for this trip. Hope to update in 3 (ish) hours!

[jandrs]

You were the light of my life for four years and two months. Every porch, every door step, in every place I call home from now until I see you again will be empty and dim without your grizzly gifts. I dont know how long it will take for me to stop instinctively going out to call you in from a day of sunbathing and running the block. You were a source of constant comfort through every heartbreak, every new and unfamiliar territory, every lonely moment. And I will always be unimaginably and unequivocally thankful.

[donga7]

“Fela Kuti, Grace Jones, Jean-Michel Basquiat and Keith Haring, New York, 1986 by Andy Warhol” twitted by Brian Eno @darkshark https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxv3uv2CXFj/?igshid=ohz5v5v7m277