#darkrooms are my safe space

[narutosfrogwallet]

2024 is the year i get back into film photography and develop my own film. mark my words

[queenmeriadoc]

2022 in pictures, taken by myself

[porcelainseashore]

Darkroom

Pairing: RE4R! Leon Kennedy x GN! Reader

Summary: You're a Sunday regular at the darkroom of your local nightclub, finding liberation through sex with random strangers and spontaneous encounters. One night, you meet someone whose touch feels different, and you connect in ways you never expected.

Content & Warnings: 18+ Smut, porn with plot, implied consent, anonymous sex, group sex, public sex (nightclub), voyeurism, anal, fingering, oral (m receiving), creampie, strangers to lovers, romance, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, drug references, swearing.

Author's Note: This is my first time writing gn! reader as I would like to be more inclusive in my work. I’ve also tried to educate myself on the discourse surrounding darkrooms and hope I’ve portrayed them respectfully, as safe spaces created by the gay community.

Special thanks to @alibellerosetta and @sofmoth for beta’ing this piece—you’re simply the best!

AO3 Link | Playlist

Fingertips trailing across the concrete walls of an old wartime bunker, its labyrinthine structure causing you to navigate by adventure and curiosity when you were new, but now, you had the entire layout committed to memory. You drifted through the haze of smoke and rooms—oh so many rooms—littered with nooks and crannies to engage in the kinds of deeds one would get up to in a nightclub like this. 

Brutal, fast-paced techno assaulted your ears, but you welcomed it as you did with the throngs of party-goers passing you by, like swimming through jellyfish and seaweed, in this maddeningly beautiful underwater world. All you could hear was a wall of sound and your own breathing, teeth chattering and chest throbbing as heavy bass reverberated through your body. If you stayed any longer, you would vaporize into thin air. And so, you plunged into the lower depths, down further passageways and corridors to your final destination.

People wouldn’t understand why you do what you do. Why you treated this club like a church—the only one you’d go to religiously every Sunday to get fucked within an inch of your life by complete strangers. Strangers you never saw, and would never meet again. 

You didn’t owe them an explanation, but truth be told, you felt far safer here than in most other places you’d been to. Too many close calls and red flags left you running away from that mess. Here, you were spoiled for choice. You could be whoever you wanted to be, without labels or judgment. Fucking was freedom and creativity. Fucking was an expression of yourself. Fucking was a big fuck you to society that tried to break you, moulding you into preconceived roles, telling you what you should or shouldn’t do.

Despite that, you knew what you were getting yourself into. Your PrEP shot was up to date and you tested frequently. Nothing was a hundred percent foolproof, but it was a risk you were willing to take. You were nearly there, following the invisible wisp of a white rabbit to its lair as the sweet, musky scent of lust and arousal grew stronger.

At the entrance of the darkroom, you paused, lifting your hand as a breeze sifted through your fingers. Funny how cold it could get down in the basement. You wondered if the ghosts of soldiers past could see you now—heart racing in your chest, adrenaline flooding your veins, and butterflies in your stomach—every single time without fail as you stood in front of the innocuous opening in the wall, like a gateway or barrier to another plane. What they would think as you stepped inside, agreeing to the unspoken code of conduct, where it was hunting season, and just like everyone else, you were game.

Inside, it was pitch black, so dark that you could not see, but you could make out the distinct sounds of sheets rustling, the shifting of bodies, light moans, and squelching wet kisses as you felt around the room, slowly putting one foot forward, and then the other, like the blind leading the blind. As your eyes adjusted to the surroundings, movements blurred at the corners, amorphous shapes materializing before you like a séance you had conducted. 

Sometimes you would catch a look, a nod, a gesture—silent, yet reminding you that what you were seeing was real. Hands passed along your body, and you imagined this must be what it feels like to traverse through clouds—touching, groping, feeling every part of you that you had bared to offer. Shedding clothes like this was so easy, like peeling away the layers of skin you had adorned to protect yourself. 

Someone else’s skin. 

Someone else’s face. 

A thousand masks you reaped and sowed.

Gone, all gone—until you were stripped to the core. 

The immense desire to be naked forever and never dressed again bubbled to the surface, burning a hole in your chest and getting caught in your throat.

A sudden smack against the cheek of your ass sent you reeling forward. The beds were damp as you sank upon them on your knees, gasping in sheer delight. The sting of it was buzzing, your ears filled with white noise as your hair was yanked backwards, mouths latching onto flesh, sensitive and bruising like ripened plum under teeth.

The room was warm and humid, sweltering even, but you couldn’t complain. Heat like that never looked bad on anyone. Sweat dripped from the pores of your skin, creating a thin layer of moonlit sheen. Tongues lapped at the moisture, prickly and salty, running over areas you never knew existed until the heady rushes you felt stated otherwise.

You grasped at the silhouette lying under you. It squirmed—wet, whining, and wanting. Breasts quivering, breathing in deep. Almost instantly, the grip on your hair loosened as you lunged forward, suctioning your lips over a peak, your fingers sliding through her folds, curling against her walls. 

Eventually, you were pushed on top of her, a heavy palm on the arch of your back, ribs crushing, tongues intertwining, and teeth clashing as other hands gripped her wrists firmly over her head. Your pelvises ground together as someone pounded into you from behind; her breasts bouncing violently against your chest with each thrust. The mattress sagged under your weight as it consumed you—suffocating, drowning—and you surrendered to it all in the darkness until you were nothing. A blank canvas, equal to the rest, finally seen as simply human.

You did the devil’s dance, flitting between partners, just as your parents did before you, and their parents—your grandparents—and their ancestors before them. Though instead of fucking raw, they had their own versions of the dance that they were too embarrassed to admit, leaving them forgotten behind closed doors and repressed memories.

Then, another pair of hands descended on your back, their knuckles caressing your shoulders with a bittersweet tenderness, taking you by surprise. Brushing your hair aside, you felt stubble scrape the nape of your neck, his kiss lingering a little longer than a second or two, as if afraid that by confronting you, you might dissolve between his fingers. 

Hot, shaky breath fanned across your ear, “May I?”

A baritone—rich, deep, and weary—with an edge to it like he had been through a never ending war. You wondered why.

In silence, you tilted your head, granting him easier access to your neck. You were his prey; he could bite in hard if he wanted to, but he only nipped—teasingly, playfully, savoring your taste, his large, coarse hands raking your body, gentle and unsure.

This wasn’t his first time; he was too composed for that. You searched for an answer as the tips of his fingers pressed dimples into your skin—temporary marks that spoke of his desire to make you his for the night. His touch ached so badly with longing, you could feel it seep into your bones. It hurt, everything hurt, as he buried his face into your neck, smothering the rest of his emotions along with it.

Someone once said, “The biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we should be ashamed of our feelings.”

But imagine if we weren’t? Your hand cupped over his. His breath hitched.

You knew shame like the back of your hand. A sickness and disease, taking root from within, its poisonous tendrils spreading out through every orifice until you couldn’t even scream.

Imagine if we weren’t. Your fingers laced through his. You squeezed. He squeezed back.

A secret morse code between the two of you as others started to gather around. Lying on your sides, he tugged you in closer, so that your back was flush against his chest. You stroked his arm, repeating the motion in cycles like a form of meditation.

He had you. You were his. He didn’t have to worry about that, even when you were being shared.

In return, he planted soft kisses along your spine as a ‘thank you’, causing you to shiver while he palmed your crotch. You felt his dick harden against the crevasse of your ass and you bucked your hips back into his. He let out a hiss, rubbing his erection in sync with your rocking, and you heard the sound of a lid cracking open.

At the same time, another person tweaked your nipples, licking, and sucking on them as you bit your lip and moaned. Lukewarm oil spilled onto your ass in a slow, deliberate stream, spreading like liquid silk. Even though you were ready—so ready—for this, with your hole wide and gaping from the butt plug you had worn in the day, and still leaking from previous use, he felt the need to prepare you. Circling your rim, he slipped one, then two fingers in, allowing the tight ring of muscle to clench around them as he stretched you out. When he pressed the tip of his cock against your entrance, you nearly sighed in relief, relaxing as he filled you up fully, slowly, and sensually, as if you were making love for the first time.

You melted like sweet, flowing honey in his arms, linked around your waist, hugging you tightly as his ragged breath grazed your cheek. Once you had settled in, it didn’t take long for him to pick up the pace. Your hands gripped his the entire time as he pumped his cock harder into you, friction firing up the bundle of nerves, causing you to cry out in wanton pleasure. 

It was only a matter of time before you caught a glimpse of another shadow joining from behind him, and felt the head of someone else’s member smear precum along your lips. You opened, submitting completely to the moment, its shaft dipping in and out of your mouth, your tongue swirling over its slit and ridge. Saliva dribbled down your chin as fingers tangled in your hair, grabbing it roughly to shove his cock in further, letting it hit the back of your throat as you choked and gagged. Tears ran down your face, ruining the black liner and glitter you’d decorated it with.

The hands that had been wrapped around yours gave them a long, hard squeeze, as if to ask, “Are you okay?” His worry and concern was your very own personal S.O.S., if you needed it. You brushed your thumb against his knuckles reassuringly, and he did the same, giving you two light squeezes in response, trusting in your decision.

At this, his hips snapped against your ass harshly, balls slapping skin as his thrusts grew more desperate, matching the intensity with which you were being fucked in the mouth, like a wordless competition—one vying for your affection. He slammed into your sensitive spot repeatedly, the sensations overwhelming like never before as your eyes rolled back—demonic and possessed—and euphoric waves rippled through your body.

He continued railing you until he couldn’t hold it in anymore. You felt his eyes shut, his mouth twist into a frown as he muffled his groans into your neck. He tensed and staggered, emptying a thick, hot load into your spent hole, just as the person in front of you pulled out, finishing himself off onto your face.

You coughed, sputtering as you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. His dick was still in you, twitching as he rode out his climax, stroking your thighs, your hips, your ribs, before settling back on the curve of your ass. He kneaded it gently as you felt him pull out; his hands coming to rest around your waist. Raising your arms behind you, you circled them around the back of his head, pushing his face into your hair as both of you lay there—still and quiet—panting heavily and covered in fluids, his cum trickling out of your heat. You felt the uneven, taut patches that littered his skin, along with the rise and fall of each other’s chests—an empty space in the cavity growing more deafening with each passing second in the sparse room.

The clock continued ticking until you finally decided to turn around, facing the man who had fucked you so hard you thought you might break. All at once, he drew closer, lips on lips, kissing you like he meant it. You kissed back sloppily, running your fingers through his sweat-drenched hair as he cupped your cheek—grasping, craving, needing more. 

You didn’t know what to make of this connection he and you felt. The way his heart beat with loneliness, and yours responding in kind, whispering in a similar rhythm, “I’m here. I see you.” It was far more intimate than any experience you’d ever had in a darkroom. And you panicked.

Breaking away, you spotted a tuft of his matted blonde tresses, his sharp, brilliant blues, and your eyes darted towards the way out. Before he could speak, you got up, his hand catching your wrist, tugging, pulling—please, I want you, don’t go, please—until you snatched it back, and he let you.

You touched his face, thumb brushing across his bottom lip���swollen and weeping, a final ‘thank you’ for something special the two of you had shared. One where you lied to yourself, treating it as a mere passing moment in your life, fearing that anything more would ruin the illusion held together by anonymity. Picking your clothes up from the floor, you slipped off into the light and safety of crowds, ignoring the pang in your chest as the distance between you and him grew.

━━━━━━━━━━━

What if things had gone differently? 

What if you had let him talk? 

Say the words he wanted to say. Rip his chest open. Pour his heart out into your awaiting cup.

What if it was meant to be more?

What if, what if, all the what ifs.

You sat on your chair, legs crossed and pulled into your chest, thinking back to that encounter over and over again. A cheap desk fan blew hot, desert wind in your direction, its plastic blades rotating sluggishly, hardly helping in the current heatwave. Clumps of hair stuck to your forehead and the sides of your face as you closed your eyes, reminiscing his ghostly touch along your body, sore and aching, fighting fire with fire.

Five nights had passed, and you couldn’t get him out of your mind. It was three in the morning, you had work in a few hours, but he was all you could think about. During the day, you walked around in a vacant daze, and now, you were stoned, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what the hell happened.

You fucked yourself with your fingers, imagining it was him fucking you. 

And then, Sunday came.

━━━━━━━━━━━

You saw him everywhere that night—through the tide of music, in the mirrored reflections, blonde locks catching the light, only to be let down. You didn’t know what he looked like, the only memory being a static cloud of darkness before your eyes, but somehow, you knew that you would be able to tell if it was him.

Like a moth to a flame, you made your way towards the darkroom, all the while hopelessly wondering if he would be there where you had found him last, waiting patiently, like a dog to its owner for their return. When you entered, a swarm of hands skimmed along your private parts—foreign and alien as you swallowed your disappointment, losing yourself in others’ company, though you had never felt more alone.

One more.

Another.

The next—

You’d recognize that touch anywhere. His calloused hands across your jaw—tentative, tracing your skin like scorched earth, his yearning fulfilled when you took his fingers into your mouth, coating them with your taste.

“It’s you…” he murmured, his velvety voice, laden with emotion, slipping into your ear, causing you to shudder.

His fingers slid out over the dip of your tongue as he replaced them with his lips, devouring yours fervently as if he couldn’t get enough of you. Knowing him was like a crime, but you gave yourself the permission to want him this way.

A jarring flash of light blinded you, followed by a burst of giggles, rudely interrupting your chance meeting. You whipped your head in its direction, shielding your eyes as you squinted at white powder vibrating on illuminated phone screens.

“Take your fucking drugs somewhere else!” someone yelled.

By the time you turned back, the light went out again, plunging you into utter darkness. 

Did you lose your power of anonymity?

Had he seen you for who you were now?

Would he judge you like the rest?

You felt his hand in yours, light brushes against your inner palm in the secret language you shared. No, this wasn’t the right place for what you wanted, and you had to respect that—both of that.

Fuck feeling ashamed of your feelings. 

You threw out your inhibitions, dragging him through the opening as he followed you into the light. You saw him clearly now, just as he saw you. Scars of all shapes and sizes across his body, matching the bumps you had felt in the dark—now laid bare and vulnerable in full public view.

You didn’t care, and he didn’t seem to either, clasping your face between his hands as he pushed you back, mouth squarely on yours, teasing it open. He hoisted your legs, hooking them around his waist as he buried his cock into you. Fucking you relentlessly against the wall, rugged concrete chafing skin as you jerked upwards, meeting his thrusts. 

It was rushed, frantic, and hungry, like you would vanish before his very eyes at any minute. A new DJ set had started, drowning out your screams as you dug your nails into his shoulders, clawing angry, red marks into his skin. Trembling, feverish lips wet on your chest, sucking and leaving bites in flesh as others watched, or masturbated while they watched—voyeurs to your private scene.

You clung to each other, his grip bruising on the back of your thighs, not wanting to let go—not this time, not now, not ever. Funny how you found it comforting—the way he held your gaze, unflinching and calm, as you reached your high, like he was seeing right through you—melting flesh from bone, prying the cavern open to find a scared little rabbit, and the rage frothing at your teeth.

And you knew that he understood that feeling too.

He came in you soon after, muscles clenching as he pinned you to the wall, ropes of his release filling you deep. His breath escaped in loud rasps, stray strands of his bangs fluttering in the breeze.

“God… fuck…” he gasped, before his eyes found yours again, the corners of his mouth curling into a smile as he laughed.

You laughed back.

He set you down on the floor—your legs wobbly, gaze shy—exchanging soft caresses, oblivious to the rest of the world around you. You leaned in, kissing him spontaneously as you felt his smile against your lips.

“So, you got a name?”

“Mm-hmm.” He kissed you once more, exhaling it like a sigh—“Leon.”

And you didn’t feel like the magic was lost in any way.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Endnotes

Fyi, I created a playlist for Darkroom in case you want to check it out. All songs are from The xx and their music contributed a lot to the mood of this piece!

I also saw Timimie Märak, a poet, feminist, and Sámi queer activist, at a literary festival recently, and I really liked what they said: “The biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we should be ashamed of our feelings,” which has appeared in my fic above.

[whore-ibly-hot]

God, I love your Yandere Boarding School HCs, Harrison is so cute with his domesticity, and I love Tyler for his slow Sweetness (I would be happy to lean on him during movie nights), and Joseph for just his vibe, I'll admit I like the admire from a distance type. 💞

Though Evan would make my mental health deteriorate so fast I would have to leave the Academy, I wouldn't be able to stand him and the way he does things even in the slightest 🤣

I have a question, How would Joseph feel if Reader had an interest in joining the newspaper, bringing their contact from every once in a while to almost- if not every day?

He would go absolutely feral, but would refuse to do photography juuuuuuuuuust yet. Mostly because he needs to remove some incriminating evidence; but he doesn't want to throw away the photos!

He's thrilled you share a passion similar to his, while he's not into journalism as much as photography, he's happy even if you are! He'll happily take photos for your article, or take you out if you're a photographer too. He'll invite you back into his room for food and to work on projects, but he'll make you wait outside because he knows remembers that shrine he's got to you. Once it's shoved under his bed, he's ready to let you in. Touch everything, let him arrange the way you hold the camera, let him take a photo shoot of you, anything, he'll be thrilled. Try to ignore the way he shakes as his hands trail your waist turning your hips and leaning you slightly so he can make sure you get the best shot.

"Good, just like that. Maybe a little to the left, mm..." He'd coo, trying to think of all the horrific things he can to prevent popping a stiffy right up against your ass.

He loves to see you focused, the way you're so passionate about what you do, just like him! Maybe he can get an internship with you somewhere, so you can keep pursuing your passions together.

Lastly, it'd gross and unsafe, but he wants to fuck you in the darkroom. No one goes there but him, he's really the only one who knows how to use it. He wants to have sex in a private, intimate place, and he's put some much work and passion into the black room that he wants to take you in his safe space. Where he can work with what he considers to be the most beautiful piece of art he's ever seen, you.

[lupinqs]

CHAPTER SIX ━━ Shattered Glass

☆ ━ pairing: hopkins!paige x oc (dani callan)

☆ ━ word count: 3.8K

☆ ━ warnings: mentions of conversion therapy

☆ ━ links: my masterlist, take me to church masterlist

☆ ━ author’s note: finally bro

DANI STANDS in the dimly lit darkroom, watching the chemicals slowly bring her latest batch of photos to life. The soft red glow of the safelights fill the room, casting long shadows across the black-and-white prints hanging on the drying line. The hum of the machines and the faint smell of chemicals are oddly calming, giving her a momentary escape from the chaotic mess her life has become. She likes it here. The darkroom is one of the few places that still feels like her own—maybe her safe space.

She adjusts the print in the developer tray, her hands moving automatically as her mind wanders. It’s hard not to think about the other night, about Paige’s basket. The note stays with her, a flicker of warmth that she hasn’t felt in a long time. She wishes Paige hadn’t done it. She wishes she could’ve just stewed in her misery, in the mess she’s made. It would be easier that way.

Now, Dani can’t stop thinking about it. Paige is always there, lurking at the edges of her thoughts, no matter how much Dani tries to push her away.

It’s frustrating and comforting at the same time.

The door to the darkroom swings open, flooding the room with harsh light from the hallway. Dani blinks against it, silently cursing as Serena Corren struts in. The blonde cheerleader makes no effort to close the door softly, the bang of it slamming shut making Dani wince. Serena isn’t supposed to be here, at least not right now, but here she is anyway, crashing into Dani’s quiet space like she always seems to do.

“Hey, Dani.” Serena drops her yearbook materials on the counter with a loud thunk, her sharp voice cutting through the low hum of the room.

“Hey,” Dani mutters, her eyes fixed on the developing photo, hoping Serena will take the hint and keep her distance. But that isn’t how Serena works. She never really does subtle.

Serena leans over, peering at the picture. “You’re still working on that football game? Don’t you have, like, a thousand of those already?”

Dani shrugs, her jaw tight. “I’m trying to be thorough.”

Serena scoffs. “No, I think you’re trying to be alone in here, avoiding everyone.” She straightens, fixing Dani with a pointed look pursing her lips into a line. “You’ve been weird lately, you know that?”

Dani’s shoulders tense. She knows where this is going and she doesn’t want to deal with it. “I’m fine, Serena.”

“Yeah, sure,” the blonde drawls, pulling up a stool and plopping down on it without asking. “That’s why Beau’s been bitching to everyone about you. Says you’ve been acting all ‘distant.’”

Dani doesn’t say anything, keeping her eyes locked on her work. Beau. Of course, it’s about Beau. Everything is always about him—her boyfriend, her obligation. The person she’s supposed to care about. Except she doesn’t. Not really.

Serena crosses her arms, eyeing Dani with a mix of disdain and curiosity. “You’re lucky, you know that? Beau’s, like, the hottest guy in school, and you’ve been treating him like shit recently. So, spill, and tell me what your deal is.”

Dani’s grip tightens on the edge of the counter, knuckles turning white. “I’ve just been dealing with stuff,” she mumbles.

“Right, ‘stuff.’” Serena’s tone drips with sarcasm, her eyes narrowing. “You’ve got everyone worried, Dani. Not just Beau—though, let’s be real, he’s the only one actually trying. The rest of us? We don’t know why you even bother hanging out anymore if you’re gonna be so… ugh.”

Dani’s stomach twists, but she keeps her mouth shut. Of course, Beau’s trying. That’s the narrative. That’s always the narrative. But neither him or Serena or any of their other friends are ever actually trying to help. The blonde isn’t even asking if Dani was okay. She’s here to make a point, to make sure Dani knows she’s out of line for daring to withdraw from the group.

Serena’s lips curl in a half-smile, her eyes sharp. “Look, I get it. Maybe you’re going through something or whatever, but seriously? You’re not the only one with problems, Dani. Beau’s been putting up with a lot from you.”

Dani lets out a short, bitter laugh before she can stop herself. “Putting up with me? Are you serious?”

Serena’s smile falters for a second before she narrows her eyes. “Yeah, I am. You’ve been flaking on him for weeks, acting all moody, and he’s still there. Most guys wouldn’t stick around if their girlfriend was being such a—” Serena throws her hands up in the air, searching for a word, “—headcase!”

Dani’s vision blurs with irritation, but she swallows it down. It isn’t worth it, arguing with Serena. Sure, the girl was nice and welcoming at first, but it didn’t take Dani much time to realize just how fake Sersna can be. By now, Dani can hardly stand her, but she’s inevitable—Serena’s a part of Beau’s circle, part of this whole sick, suffocating dynamic Dani’s been shoved into. At this point, she has to hang out with them, even though Serena and the others have no idea what’s really going on, and even if they did, they wouldn’t care. They’d probably just mock her even more.

She can’t explain why she’s acting “weird.” She can’t explain why the thought of being around Beau makes her feel like her skin is crawling. She can’t explain how much she hates who she’s become since she got back from camp. She can’t explain that the more she’s sucked into this straight girl, quarterback’s girlfriend, Catholic princess persona, the more she feels the girl underneath it slipping away, caught in between two worlds that don’t meet.

Serena’s still watching her, waiting for a response, her lips frowning in faux concern. “You’re lucky he hasn’t dumped you yet.”

Dani grits her teeth. Lucky. She’s not lucky; she’d be much more lucky if he dumped her. Beau’s controlling, selfish, and she knows he’s never given a damn about what she wants or how she might feel. He’s only gotten worse lately too, like a few nights ago—leaving her stranded, making her walk home alone in the dark while he drove off, doing who-knows-what.

But none of that matters, because in Serena’s world, Beau can do no wrong. In fact, Dani wouldn’t even be surprised if the two of them have fucked by now. “Maybe I don’t care if he dumps me,” the brunette mutters under her breath.

Serena snorts, “Yeah, right. Please. You’d be miserable without him, Dani. You wouldn’t have anyone left.”

That is what hits Dani hard, the words sinking into her like ice. She wants to that Serena’s wrong, but the fear is there, gnawing at her. Because who will she have without Beau, without this group she’s been forced into? She’s already lost her real friends, the ones who actually matter. Paige, Thaliah, Jalen.

“Look,” Serena continues, her voice smug, “just stop acting like this. Whatever this moody, weird thing you’ve got going on? It’s not cute. We’re all getting tired of it.”

Dani feels the anger bubbling up again, sharp and hot in her chest. She can’t do this anymore—can’t sit here and listen to Serena drone on about something that doesn’t even really fucking involve her. “I don’t care if you’re tired of it, Serena. You know what? Maybe I’m the one tired of it, tired of hanging around all of you, tired of hearing you bitching, and tired of the fact that none of you have a nice fucking bone in your body!”

Serena’s eyes flash with surprise, but she quickly covers it with a smirk. “Wow, okay. You’ve been one of ‘us’ for months now. So what the fuck does that say about you then, hmm?” She pauses, letting the words sink in, before continuing, “You’re just like the rest of us. And if you’re really gonna throw away everything just because you’re in one of your moods, then I guess I thought you were smarter than you really are.”

Dani’s heart pounds in her chest, her hands shaking slightly as she turns back to her photos. She doesn’t respond. She refuses. Because if she does, she isn’t sure what will come out—whether it would be anger or something worse. She doesn’t want to cry in front of Serena. She refuses to give her that satisfaction.

After a long, tense silence, Serena stands, brushing invisible dust off her skirt. “Whatever, Dani. Keep being weird if that’s what you want. Just don’t be surprised when Beau gets tired of your shit and moves on. You’re replaceable, you know.”

Dani bites the inside of her lip at the venom in Serena’s words, but she doesn’t look up. She doesn’t let herself react, no matter how badly she wants to lash out.

The door to the darkroom creaks open again as Serena leaves, slamming it shut behind her.

PAIGE HASN’T heard a single word her financial algebra teacher has said the entire class period. Her foot taps against the floor incessantly, the low thud thud thud filling her head. She’s restless—scratch that, obsessed. Her is was stuck in one place, on one person.

Dani.

Dani, Dani, Dani, Dani, Dani, Dani, Dani.

Paige has been like this since Halloween, unable to focus on anything except the basket she left on the girl���s porch, hoping it would be some kind of olive branch. She’s spent the last few days replaying every interaction in her mind, trying to decipher Dani’s walls, to figure out what exactly is going on inside her head.

For how well and how long Paige has known the brunette, she simply can’t tell. She’s tried—but she has no idea what’s swirling in her ex-best friend’s mind that prompted her to create this entire situation. But what Paige does know is that she can’t keep sitting in this classroom pretending to care about math when all she wants to do is get Dani to talk to her. Really talk to her.

She lets out a sigh, barely noticing the way the teacher glances up from her notes. Paige bites her lip, her foot tapping even faster now, her knee bouncing. She can’t take it anymore.

Shooting her hand up, Paige catches the teacher’s attention. “Ms. Greene?” she asks, her voice a little shaky.

Ms. Greene, who’s in the middle of explaining some equation Paige can’t even begin to follow, stops mid-sentence, raising an eyebrow. “Yes, Paige?”

Paige swallows, feigning discomfort. “I don’t feel well. Can I go to the nurse?”

Ms. Greene studies her for a moment, clearly weighing how bad Paige looks. Then, she nods. “Sure. Go ahead.”

Paige quickly packs up her stuff, barely caring about leaving her things behind, and bolts out of the classroom. She isn’t going to the nurse. She has somewhere else to be—somewhere Dani would be.

She hates to admit it, but she knows Dani’s schedule like the back of her hand. It isn’t like she meant to memorize it; it just kind of happened over time. Call her a stalker—maybe she is—but she’s always paid attention to Dani, even now when they aren’t even friends anymore.

And she knows exactly where Dani is during this period: the darkroom. Paige has seen her slip into it on more than one occasion during this period. Paige has been in there herself several times, all with Dani, all last year. She’d sit on one of the stools and watch Dani work, infatuated like she always seems to be by the brunette. She misses it. She misses everything.

And she can’t stand it anymore. She has to get through to Dani. Today.

The hallways are mostly empty as Paige strides down them, her heartbeat quickening with every step. She isn’t sure what she’s planning to say, but she knows she has to say something. If she can just get Dani to open up—to explain why she’s shutting everyone out, why she’s pushed Paige away so violently—then maybe, just maybe, things can go back to how they used to be.

As Paige turns the corner, she slows her pace, watching someone step out of the darkroom. Serena Corren struts out, her face twisted in an annoyed scowl. The cheerleader’s blonde hair whips behind her as she slams the door with enough force to make Paige raise her eyebrows.  Serena’s eyes flick up as she passes the basketball player, and for a brief moment, their gazes meet. Paige can see the disdain in Serena’s eyes—she looks irritated, almost as if she’s blaming Paige for something, but neither of them say anything. The silent exchange is fleeting and Paige thinks it’s a little odd, too.

Paige reaches the door of the darkroom, her heart thudding in her chest. She doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t knock. She just pushes the door open. The low red light of the darkroom washes over her like a wave of unease, the smell of developing chemicals hangs in the air, and the soft hum of the machines fill the silence.

Before Paige can even step fully inside, Dani’s voice cuts through the air, sharp and biting. “God, if you’re gonna keep berating me about this—” Dani snaps, her tone dripping with irritation, clearly mistaking Paige for Serena.

But when Dani spins around, her words die on her lips. The fiery annoyance in her eyes quickly evaporates, replaced with shock. “Paige,” she breathes, like the wind has been knocked out of her. She blinks, her body stiffening. “What are you doing here?”

Paige steps further into the room, letting the door click shut behind her. She swallows, her heart racing as she locks eyes with Dani. “I’m here because we need to talk,” she says steadily.

Dani’s face hardens. She turns back to her photos, ignoring Paige like she isn’t even there. “There’s nothing to talk about,” Dani mutters, flat and dismissive.

“Yes, there is,” Paige responds firmly. She refuses to let Dani shut this down again. “You know there is.”

Dani quickly turns back toward Paige, a faux smile on her face. “You’re so right, Paige, we do need to talk,” she says, her tone sickly sweet. “Thank you for the basket, I appreciated it.” And then she turns right back to the photos.

Paige clenches her fists, frustration boiling up inside her. She’s spent months tiptoeing around Dani’s moods, giving her space, hoping she’ll come around on her own. But that isn’t working. She isn’t going to stand by while Dani pushes her further away, destroying herself in the process.

“Stop it,” Paige replies, shaking her head. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong, what exactly has been going on with you.”

Dani scoffs, shaking her head as she continues to work, refusing to look at Paige. “What, you’re just going to barge in here and demand I spill my guts?” she asks incredulously. “That’s not how this works, Paige.”

Paige steps closer, her voice firm but pleading. “I’m not trying to make demands. I just… I need to understand why you’ve been acting like this. Why you’ve been pushing me away. You don’t even look at me anymore, Dani. And I—” Paige’s voice cracks, and she swallows hard, fighting the emotion rising in her throat. “I don’t understand what I did wrong.”

Dani’s hands still over the photo paper, her fingers trembling slightly, though she quickly balls them into fists to hide it. She doesn’t respond, but Paige can see the tension radiating from her.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Dani finally mutters under her breath, her voice barely audible.

Paige’s heart clenches. “Then why are you pushing me away?”

“I’m not,” Dani rebuttals, though both of them know she’s lying. “I just—I can’t do this right now, okay? You should go.”

“No,” Paige says, shaking her head, her voice ready to rise at any second because she’s tired of this. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to shut me out like this after everything we’ve been through, and then lie and say that you aren’t. I care about you, Dan. I always have. And I know you care about me, too. So, why are you doing this?”

Dani shakes her head profusely, almost like she’s trying to shake something out of her brain. “You wouldn’t get it.”

“Try me,” Paige shoots back, her frustration rising. She can feel the walls between them, the weight of everything Dani isn’t saying, and it’s suffocating. “I’ve been your best friend since we were kids. You can’t just cut me out of your life without an explanation. I know something happened over the summer. Something had to have happened, because I know you wouldn’t do this without reason I know it. But I don’t know why you won’t let me in. Why you won’t even talk to me.”

“No!” Dani responds, her voice rising slightly to meet Paige’s. She stays stubborn, not breaking. “You won’t understand.”

“Then make me understand!” Paige bursts out, her frustration finally spilling over. She throws her hands up in the air in disbelief. “God, Dani, I’m trying so hard to be here for you, but you’re making it impossible. Why won’t you just talk to me?”

Dani slams her hand down on the counter, making Paige jump. “Because talking won’t fix anything!” she snaps, turning to face Paige. The blonde can see the tears glistening in Dani’s eyes. “You think this is all about you, don’t you? That I’m pushing you away because of something you did. But it’s not about you. It’s about me. It’s about everything I’ve been through, everything I’m still going through. And you can’t fix that.”

Paige’s heart clenches at the sight of Dani’s tear-filled eyes, but she doesn’t stop. She steps closer once more, her voice soft but firm. “Maybe I can’t fix it. But I can be there for you. I can help you if you just let me. Please, Dani. Just tell me what’s going on.”

Dani shakes her head, her hands trembling. She averts her eyes, looking at the corner of the wall, refusing to meet Paige’s gaze. “I—I can’t,” she whispers, her voice cracking. “You don’t know what it was like…”

Paige’s breath hitches. Dani’s breaking, right in front of her, and Paige can feel it—the dam about to burst.

“What what was like?” Paige asks gently, her heart pounding in her chest. Her voice drops to a low murmur. “What happened, Dani?”

Dani stares at the ground, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. Paige watches as Dani digs her nails into her thigh and she fights the urge to take the brunette’s hand in her own. “My dad…” the Callan girl starts, hardly a whisper. “He—on the Ring doorbell—he saw us kiss. You know how he is. You know what he believes in. He couldn’t accept the fact that his daughter liked other girls. So, he sent me to camp. And—and it wasn’t just any camp…” she pauses, finally meeting eyes with Paige. The blonde watches as her tears begin to spill, and she feels her own heart break with every word that comes out of Dani’s mouth. Dani shrugs, “It was conversion therapy.”

Paige freezes. “What?” Her mind reels, the words not fully sinking in at first. “You… you went to—”

“Yeah,” Dani laughs bitterly, her voice thick with tears. “All summer. While you were at basketball camps, traveling, I was stuck in that place. Being told every day that who I am is wrong. That what I feel is… is disgusting. That I was disgusting.”

Paige feels like the ground has been ripped out from under her. She stumbles forward, her hand reaching out to touch Dani’s arm, but Dani flinches away.

“Dani…” Paige’s voice is shaky, her heart aching. “I—I had no idea. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t,” Dani whispers, and her voice breaks with a sob. “I couldn’t tell you, Paige. I wanted to. You don’t know how much I wanted to. But—y’know, I felt ashamed of the fact that I loved you just as much when I left camp as I did when I got there, even after everything they put me through. And I—I wanted to protect you from all my problems.” She pauses, sniffling slightly, trying to wipe her tears with the back of her hand. It doesn’t matter; they keep coming. “My dad, too. He’s friends with Beau’s parents. They started it—the thing with Beau and I. It made my dad happy; that’s all I really wanted. I’ve never wanted or liked Beau, Paige.”

Paige stares at her, eyes flitting across her face. She wants so badly to reach out and touch Dani, hold her. But she doesn’t want to scare her away. So, instead, she asks, “You never did? Not at all?” She thinks she already knows the answer, and she feels almost guilty for being relieved at it.

“Never,” Dani confirms, her arms wrapping around herself, probably trying to stem the sobs. “I wanted someone else.”

Paige’s heart skips a beat.

“But my dad,” the brunette chokes out, “he told me that if he ever saw us together again, that he’d send me back.” Dani looks up at Paige once more, her eyes bloodshot and filled with more fear than Paige has ever seen. Dani shakes her head, sobbing as she says, “Paige, I don’t wanna go back.”

Paige feels her heart shatter at the sight of Dani’s pain finally laid out before her. The blonde takes the final step forward, her hands going to cup Dani’s cheeks, making Dani look at her. Paige says firmly, feeling more protective of the girl before her than anything else in her entire life, “You’re not gonna go back, okay? He can’t you send you back. I won’t let him.”

Dani sobs again, and Paige pulls her in closer, was wrapping her arms around Dani into a tight hug. She holds her so tightly that it feels like they might both stop breathing, but Paige doesn’t care. She isn’t letting go. Not now. Not ever.

“I’m so sorry,” Dani whispers through her tears, clinging to Paige like she’s the only thing keeping her grounded. “I’m so sorry, P. I—I didn’t want to push you away, but I was so scared. I still am.”

“You don’t have to be scared anymore,” Paige murmurs, her own tears slipping down her cheeks as she holds Dani even tighter. “I’m here. I’ll always be here. Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

They stay like that, locked in each other’s arms, both of them crying, both of them holding on like the world is falling apart around them.

Because maybe it is.

But for the first time in months, they aren’t facing it alone.

[urhoneycombwitch]

Heyyy! Just a quick little request that has been TAKING over my mind. GN!Reader that LOVESSSSS photography x Rockstar!eddie. LIKE Reader will be taking photos of him whenever because he’s just so goddamn pretty playing his guitar. And Eddie will snatch film and shit for them. I’d like to think that they both have Polaroid pictures of each other. Bonus points if reader doesn’t like taking pictures of themselves but LOVES taking pictures of Eddie. I DONT KNOW I JUST THINKS ITS CUTE AHHHHH. if it’s fluff, smut, whatever, you do you! :D Byeeeeeeeee

as a film photographer myself i feel uniquely qualified to add to this tysm anon 💖

gn!reader, +18 mdni

Eddie absolutely gets you the good shit. he makes it a habit to visit the local camera stores at every city when he’s on the road, shells out for high-quality film cuz you taught him right and he actually listens when you talk about your interests!!

constantly surprising you with new gear. he’s never had money like this before and the fact that he can actually buy his partner things is so fucking thrilling. if his baby wants a vintage Rolleiflex with Planar lens that’s what’s getting boxed up for ‘em.

once you and Eddie settle on a house, he sets up a whole darkroom on the lower floor- lets you pick out all the details, hires a plumbing guy to hook up water so that you can do your own film baths. Jonathan Byers is equal parts green with envy and grateful that you’re willing to share the space w/him whenever he comes out for a visit 😇

before you, Eddie never really liked his picture taken, tolerated the ordeal at best- Wayne showed you an old photo book one time, groused about his nephew making odd faces and being squirmy in front of the lens even as young as 4 years old. you’ve made up for it a hundred times over, tho- Eddie learned quick that you wouldn’t take no for an answer when it came to your new muse.

you’ve got probably over a thousand pictures of him by now, in different states across the country, some on stage in full makeup shredding on guitar, a few that are widely recognized as Corroded’s album covers- but most are quiet, intimate. there’s this one you keep in your wallet, makes your heart flutter every time: Eddie leaned back in the grass on his elbows, soft sunlight filtered through the magnolia tree in your backyard, eyes crinkled at the corners and fixed on you behind the camera.

he’s got a bunch of you, too, of course- mostly Polaroids that are decidedly not for public eye. keeps those like a true gentleman safe in a shoebox under your bed at home: images burned into his brain by this point to take with him in memory while on the road. the soft shape of your thigh against a downy duvet, gleaming pearlescent with his cum. another of his hand wrapped around your throat, rings digging into gentle flesh under the blissed-out smile of your mouth that makes him ache somethin’ fierce just thinking about it.

there are others that he does keep in his wallet, more tame but just as searingly intimate, ones he’s taken after cajoling you in front of the lens or having won a tussle over whose turn it was to shoot whom. one of you with guitar cables looped neatly around either arm after a gig, nose crunched and mouth halfway to telling him off, irritation and fondness captured in bright flash. another of you stretched out in the front yard, one hand at your forehead to block the afternoon sun, the other resting placid on your stomach as you looked up at him.

“This one’s mine,” Eddie always says when asked about you, showing off the latest picture with a deep well of love and pride. he may as well start carrying an album for all the photos he carries of you.

[shouldiusemyname]

I have been sitting in my car for almost 10 days, but now I am ready, I am here.

THIS IS BOSTON!

What can I say? I am in love with this character. I have all my Boston eggs safely resting in my Boston Basket™ and I am here to chew your ears off about how I was right. Muhahahaha!

But seriously, Boston is finally understanding the importance of having a Nick in your life.

As I have already established in my previous manic Boston posts, Boston needs acceptance. Boston is a child in desperate need of boundaries. Furthermore, he needs to know that he will not be abandoned when crossing or pushing those boundaries. He is not getting that from his father, so he goes out looking for it outside.

This leads him to testing every boundary set by everyone he considers important. See, the more someone is of significance in our lives, the more we wish to test the boundaries of our relationship with them. We expect consequences, but we push because we know it is safe. We know we will not be banished for pushing a boundary, because we assume the love and trust we have with that person is unconditional. Those relationships are the spaces that allow us to grow and discover ourselves.

Boston is trying so hard, but he's stuck in a loop. He keeps pushing and hurting, but all he is getting from his friends is a push back. They are rolling the pain back onto him. Boston however, doesn't want the pain, he wants the acceptance. So, he disconnects to avoid the pain, and attacks back creating more pain and so on. He keeps doing the same thing and expecting a different result from his friends, but they are so far up their own asses (as 22 year olds usually are) that they don't have the emotional capacity to contain and understand him (also, objectively being a shitty friend is a bit of an issue here).

AND THEN CAME NICK

Oh my gawd that man is an angel. Nick is a genius and I will not be surprised to find out he is gifted.

He knows Boston so well, and he has been controlling him since their first interaction at the store. Nick understands how Boston works. He keeps giving him tiny rewards.

Nick first starts building trust by revealing embarrassing info about himself (the haircut/makeover story in the darkroom). Nick constantly keeps Boston on his toes by going left when Boston expects him to go right. Boston expects Nick to always want more than he is willing to give, but Nick keeps giving him an out.

Nick wants Boston to realize that having a relationship with Nick is what HE wants, and believe me he does.

Since the beginning, Boston has been coming back to Nick over and over again because Nick is giving him what he truly needs - acceptance.

Nick keeps confronting Boston with his BS but he never accuses. He's there to provide Boston with a mirror and say "look, this is who you are. Yes you have done some nasty things, but that's life." And that's where he stops. There is no hurt thrown back at Boston by Nick, because Nick is able to contain that pain.

Nick breaks the loop Boston is stuck in by choosing to react differently. Their final conversation this ep was the perfect example.

Nick asks a simple question taking genuine interest in Boston. However Boston, still deep in the loop processing his friends' reaction, snaps back.

At this point (Mark comes through with the face journey) it is so clearly shown as Nick absorbs the impact of Boston's attack, takes a deep breath, processes, and responds not with an attack or rejection but with understanding.

Only then does Boston feel safe to open up because he knows he will not be rejected or judged.

Nick is able to see that whatever shit Boston has done is only about Boston, not anyone else. Which is why he is able to do what all the others are unable to - step the fuck aside and realize this is not about them.

This is where Boston finally breaks. Nick has proven over and over again that he is there for him. He loves him unconditionally through all the BS. That's why he feels the need to say this:

That elusive "thing" that Boston was going back to over and over again? That "thing" that he was getting from Nick and not anyone else? That's unconditional love and acceptance.

Finally, to end this I just want to say one more thing people - if there's one thing to be gained from this show, it's the realization that we need more grace in our lives. So when someone's being a piece of shit, just step the fuck aside and understand that it's not about you. And then, if you have the capacity, ask them what they need to feel better about whatever it is that's going on in their life.

As always, thank you for visiting my tiny soapbox. And a special thank you to @plantsarepeopletoo and @rocketturtle4 for everything really 💜💜💜

[magnoliapromenadegalleria]

Thottin' n' Boppin' in Bangkok Only Friends theories

THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!

Hear me out, don't touch the mic, hear me out:

If Sand is the one to reveal Boston and Top slept together to Mew, he's going to do it because Boston pissed him off, not Top. He dislikes Top, but him and Boston currently have no beef. I don't see him revealing anything unless Boston does something(s) that tips the scale. May have something to do with Nick, may have something to do with Ray, may have something to do with Nick AND Ray.

Sand's major issue isn't only his save-a-hoe syndrome. I think that when push comes to shove, he's got a temper on him, and that temper may make him do something irrational. Maybe not necessarily overt violence, but he f*cks something up. I didn't forget that bat.

Part of the reason Sand pulls away from Ray will stem from the past issues with his ex. Here he is in another situation that somehow involves Top but not only that, here is another person, Mew, who Ray seems to hold in a higher regard. I think it's safe to say Mew and Ray have been close friends for at least four years at this point, if not longer. If a big fallout happens with Top, it would make sense for him to lean on his friends, even Ray despite knowing how he feels about Mew. Possibly blurring the line between them to somehow hit Top where it hurts since Ray insists he and Sand aren't a thing. Ray is going to give Mew all of his attention because he thinks he's in love with Mew and owes him. Sand has experience with being "second-best", he's already told Ray to not use him as a distraction if they were going to be friends. Sand has been played before and while he's definitely caught feelings, he's not looking to be played twice. He won't be Ray's consolation prize. BUT! To be fair to Ray, they've only agreed that they're friends. The problem is there are feelings involved on both ends, so while Ray wouldn't be doing anything wrong if something did happen with Mew, neither would Sand be wrong for hooking up with anyone, they're both going to go through some pain because they are emotionally entwined, which can be worse than being physical. It's wild, they are the most communicative of the bunch, but for their own reasons, ignore that they want more from one another. The chemistry cannot be denied. Moving on!

Ray is not in love with Mew. With each passing episode I am more convinced. I think Mew is the first person to give Ray the attention, kindness, and love he's been deprived of. Ray is grateful to him, maybe does love him in a sense, but is confusing something platonic for romance.

Ray hearing that he's a burden, etc. isn't something he only internalizes from his friend group, he's hearing/heard it at home. Ray's father, if and/or when he's introduced, isn't the nicest person. When he isn't ignoring Ray, he's verbally abusive and blames him for his mother's death. Ray internalizes this. He's not even the emergency contact in Ray's phone. He doesn't want to burden anyone, but he especially wants to take up as little space as possible with his father. His mother's death isn't the only childhood trauma he's battling.

Boston might have been in love, or had/has a thing for Ray. I don't have much for this theory yet, I'll probably expand on this once next weeks episode drops, but this theory first crossed my mind in episode 2 when Boston was looking at the picture of Mew and Ray in his darkroom. It's been sitting with me since. Boston as of yet does not seem to have a reason to be so jealous of Mew. The only thing that I can think of, other than possibly being compared to Mew at every turn by his parents, is possibly being into Ray. Maybe Ray and Boston hooked up once upon a time. Then Mew and Ray kiss. Now Mew is with Top. Another guy that is more interested in Mew than him. A guy that takes Mew seriously. Mew is playing with another one of Boston's "toys" that he doesn't think about until someone else picks them up, and he doesn't like that. I don't think it's just Boston messing with his friends complicationships just because. He doesn't bother Namchueam and April. We don't get nearly enough of her, but Namchueam is a part of this group. She's in a solidified relationship, but Boston doesn't mess with that at all. If he starts f*cking with Sand, tying into my first theory, it'll probably be confirmed for me that it has something to do with Ray. OR!

Boston is still so hung up on Top, that Ray being distracted/moving on from his feelings for Mew would not bode well for Boston. He needs Ray to be the thorn in Top and Mew's relationship without getting his hands dirty, and that's not going to work if Ray is falling for Sand. He'll start planting seeds born of his manipulation that cause more chaos which, again, look at my first theory.

Ray brought Boston into the friend group. Boston genuinely cares for Ray, but Chueam and maybe Mew's families are just as, if not more so connected and prestigious. Friends connecting may mean parents connecting, and creating a connection for your father who has political aspirations? Good for optics, good for campaigning. I'm not sure they'd be friends otherwise if Boston didn't have something to gain.

Once Mew finds out about Top and Boston sleeping together, he is going to bide his time and wait until both are comfortable, or something important comes up like, I don't know, an election, and is either going to send the audio or something more incriminating to Boston's dad, or he's going to leak it online. That screws Boston, Top, and Boston's dad's political dreams, which DOUBLY screws Boston. Full scorched earth. May have some help from Nick once he's no longer under Boston's dicmatization.

Boston isn't going to take Nick seriously until he feels like he's losing or lost Nick. Maybe after Boston and Nick have that fight where Boston pushes Nick down, and I assume ends their FWB situation, that guy in the previews kisses Nick. Maybe they do more. Maybe Nick is using the guy to get Boston's attention, or he is actually trying to pull away. Whatever the case, Boston doesn't like someone else playing with his toys. No matter if the attention is unhealthy, or the manipulator becomes the manipulated, he needs to be the center of someone's orbit, why not Nick's?

The ex Sand and Top have in common got killed or left debilitated in a car crash caused by an under the influence Top who walked away from it with no repercussions because, influence and wealth. Bonus it was a family member or someone close to Mew, and he plans on messing with Top's life as revenge. He manipulates everything around him in his favor to get closer to Top so that he can ultimately destroy him. This one feels the most outlandish, but if I'm even CLOSE to being right? Listen. WERK.

Namchueam is the one holding all of the sense in her friend group. That's not really a theory, that's a fact.

Alright, that's all I got for now.

THIS DOES CONTAIN SPOILERS!

[appynonna]

Our Universe

Chapter 3: Thunder Pairing: Poly!OT8xoriginal chararters Rating: 18+ Word Count: 1,714 Words Warning: Nothing bad I think.Talk of getting a piercing, a mention of a gun, and a little bit of cursing.

Previous Chapter -> Exit 1117

Arthur notes: Hello, deary The chapters are getting a little longer now! I do have several chapters already written up and about 3 more that I have planned and have started to write. I am planning to try to post two chapters a week until we get caught up then it will most likely start being once a week.

I don't think I have mentioned it before but this is ruffly a mob-based story, It won't focus on the mob side, but it is there if you look for it.

---------------

This house had been Hongjoong's dream. He doesn't talk much about his family, We know that he has a full brother, a cousin who lives in another city and that he has what he calls "old blood money". Past that, he doesn't talk about his family. He would just say that we are his family.

So when he decided to build this house and move all of us into it he made sure everyone had their own space.

Yeosang has his music room, sounded proofed of course. Wooyoung has a darkroom for his photography, It was set up to where you had to go through Wooyoung's room to be able to enter the room. There is also a dance studio, gym, and a small library. He wanted a place for everyone to feel safe being themselves.

Which brings us back to the present. Rocky, the more mischievous of the three Dobermans was currently sitting in front of the glass doors to Yunho's greenhouse.

I walked along the stone path and opened the door for Rocky. Django and Siren stayed seated at the door. As always Rocky goes straight to the little pond that housed the large koi fish in to get some water.

I turned from the Doberman, heading to the bench to sit down for a moment.

Arriba, Yunho's scarlet macaw started at me. "Don't give me that look, Your daddy fed you before his shift" I said sitting down. Yunho's Sketchbook sat on the bench next to me.

Rocky was running around like a puppy, we stayed out there for a little bit. Siren slowly made his way in, almost crawling on his stomach but making sure his white fur didn't touch the ground. Out of the three dogs Siren hated water and baths the most. He always took extra precautions to not get dirty.

I laughed at him. "Good boy" I said leaning down, almost folded in half my chest barely touching my knees. Siren stood full and walked over to me proudly. I looked back to Django. "Django, here. " I called The black and brown Doberman sat still.

"He's not going to come to you, " a voice said from behind me. My head shot around even though I knew who it was. "Woo," I smiled at him "When did you get back home?" I asked as he rounded the corner of the bench to sit next to me "about 20 minutes or so ago" he smiled throwing his arm around my shoulder and pulling me into his side.

Wooyoung kissed my hairline, Holding his face there. "Are you ok?" He asked placing his hand on my cheek, I nodded. "San stopped him before anything could happen" I smiled and leaned into his hand, enjoying the warmth on my cheek.

"That's good" he smiled, Kissing my forehead again, and stood up. He turned around and crouched down in front of me "The princess must not walk on her perfectly white socks " I laughed at him but got on his back nonetheless. Wooyoung carried me like it was nothing.

The walk to the house was fast, I giggled as Wooyoung kept tickling my upper thighs. The navy blue bottoms doing nothing to cover anything.

"Hey, Woo?" I started as he walked up the steps to the back patio " I have been thinking about getting a new piercing or two" I said while playing with the earrings hanging from his right ear. "Oh, What are you thinking about getting?" he asked, I smiled to myself "My nipples"

Wooyoung missed a step, Catching himself before we could fall. "Do you think Hongjoong would be mad?" I asked him as I laid my head on his shoulder to look at his face. "Most definitely without a doubt, But if you really do want to have it done he would set it for you," he said turning his face to kiss my nose "He would be mad that you let someone that wasn't one of us see you like that" He smiled and started back up the steps. "do you want to get them done? I'll call tomorrow and set it up if you do" He asked genuinely "My nipples? No, But I do want to get something. I just don't know what." I said

Wooyoung laughed a little "Sleep on it and tell me in the morning if you decide" He lightly brushed the bottom of my feet and dropped me onto the sofa "I'm heading to bed" He said going up the Stairs taking them two at a time.

I sat there watching as he went up the stairs turning back to the right. Looking back towards the kitchen clock on the stove, 10:37 "Shit" I mumbled standing up and heading up the stairs to the left to my room.

My phone still laid on the bed from where I threw it early, 17% it read. Hooking it up, I went to use the bathroom, then lay down in bed. The phone binged before I could fully lay down.

I texted her back.

I laughed at one of my oldest friends and laid the phone back down. I rolled over right as Siren jumped up into my bed "Are you missing your daddy?" I asked as he dug under my arm, Laughing I felt my eyes going heavy.

Reaching behind me for my phone, I started a new message.

Ari 11:03 pm - Please be safe, Love you!

I was asleep before Yeosang could reply

Yeosang 11:04 pm - Always am, Doll. I love you too.

It was a clap of thunder that woke me up that night. I lay in bed watching as the lightning flashed again, With a count of three the thunder shook the house again. I hugged Siren tighter.

The Doberman licked my face lightly. He stood in the bed, stretched then trotted off the bed and to the door. I grabbed the brown floral blanket bunched up at the foot of the bed. Wrapping it around my shoulders I followed Siren out the door.

Immediately once the door was opened soft music could be heard from down the stairs. I walked towards the stairs poking my head around the corner to look down into the living room.

I smiled at the site.

There stood Mingi and Wooyoung hand in hand spinning around each other like opposite magnets. Mingi with his messy blonde hair that normally would be slicked back, stuck out in all directions. His grey sweat pants lie low on his hips, and No shirt in sight. Wooyoung looked a little bit more put together, Still wearing his black skinny jeans and slightly oversized white shirt.

I stood there quietly for a second watching them before moving to head back down the hallway. Tiptoeing to try to stay quiet. I opened the door to Yeosangs room. "Sangie?" I softly called out, No response. "Yeosang?" I tried again, Siren just stood next to me not moving. I flipped the light switch on.

The room was empty of any signs of Yeosang, the clock on his desk read 2:45 am. Thunder clapped again making me jump, The music was still coming from downstairs. I headed out of Yeosang's room, Turning off the lights and closing the door behind me. I headed to the last room to the left of me.

Lightly knocking on the door. "who's at the door?" Seonghwa's voice was very muffled. I cracked the door poking my head in "Ari" I mumbled feeling bad for waking him up. "Ari, Angel what's wrong?" He shot up, his arms flying down next to his mattress where his pistol lay safely, Hongjoong was not in the bed.

I opened my mother to try to explain myself but a loud clap of thunder cut me off. My body reacted before my mind could catch up. I threw myself on top of Seoghwa, I could feel myself shaking. "Oh, Sweet girl" He cooed "You are safe it's just a storm" Seonghwa stated Lying back down and pulling me on top of him, My legs on either side of his hips. My arms were wrapped tightly around his neck with my face buried between my arm and his neck.

he was "Shhh" me while rubbing his hands up and down my back. It wasn't long before I felt myself nodding off toward dreamland, Safe in the arms of my first love.

The next time I woke up I could instantly tell a few things

I was no longer on top of Seonghwa

Hwa was cuddled up behind me, holding me tightly to his chest.

My right arm draped over a warm fluffy body.

The left arm was stretched out across the body holding something soft and warm.

I opened my eyes. The first ray of sunlight shone in under the black shear curtain. Siren was under my right arm, Which surprised me. Normally he would only sleep in my bed, Everywhere else he would sleep on the floor next to the bed.

Looking away from Siren and straight headed I could see my arm reaching out, Holding Hongjoongs hand tight.

He opened his eyes and smiled softly at me. This was my Hongjoong, the soft and sweet one that gave little sweet smiles that made him look almost like an animated squirrel.

" go back to sleep, Love. " he rubbed his fingers on mine " It's too early for you to be awake" He said then kissed my ring finger. I nodded and closed my eyes back. Laying still for a second, "Joonie" I started in a sleepy quiet voice to try not to wake Seonghwa behind me. My eyes were still closed " Yes love?" He replied softly "I was thinking about going to see Yechan tomorrow" I yawned "Yechan is good" He started "I think she is going to Rhea's Salon Tomorrow" He added, his fingers still rubbing mine.

"Rhea is good too" I said wrapping my right arm tighter around Siren "She took me in when I had nowhere else to go" I mumbled I was back asleep before I could hear Hongjoong's reply.

I also couldn't see the look passed between Hongjoong and Seonghwa, the worried look they shared.

[faegoddessog]

 Seventy Two Hours of Bliss Ch.25/41

Chapter 25: Be Brave

Chapter Warnings: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only, voyeurism, unprotected PIV (Play safe ya'll!), fingering, cunnilingus, tub play

Series Masterlist

Series Summary:

You are neighbors with Austin Butler on the Gold Coast of Australia just prior to shooting Elvis. You become just friends because he is taken. However, after he is single again, you both find out just how attracted you are to one another and things get unrelentingly hot.

SERIES WARNING: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only,  here there be lemons.

Authors Notes: I started writing this while remodeling my kitchen, so that informed the slightly quirky narrative. It starts slow, but once it heats up, it is on fire. I have tried to pull facts from RL as much as I could, but obviously there are some assumptions and flat out dreamy wishes  involved here. 

Chapter 25: Be Brave

It’s been a week since Elvis fucked you senseless. The countertop guys came and installed the granite countertops today. The flirty guy showed up, ‘to make sure everything went smoothly’. He asked you out on a date. You told him you were seeing someone. He backed down, but told you to look him up if it all went tits up.

You finished installing the sink today. Damn you are almost done with this kitchen! Appliances should be delivered this week too! You need a day off though, you’ve been working non-stop. You are hoping you can catch Austin soon. He has still been haunting you in the middle of the night, in the best possible way. You text him.

Me: Hey, when is your next day off? I have an idea!

You go to put your phone away, not expecting to hear from him anytime soon. Then your phone dings.

Austin: Day after tomorrow. What’s up?

Me: Do you want to go develop your film? You send a link to the Maud Street Photo gallery and Dark Room in Brisbane.

Austin: Yes please.

Me: I’ll book the darkroom.

Austin: You are a goddess.

Me: That is correct.

You book the space, and text him details. You get a thumbs up from him. Then nothing.

The next day at about 1PM, you are on your knees, installing the final trim around the living room when you hear the door open.

“Oh good! You are home!” Austin exclaims.

You stand up, brushing the dirt off your work pants and hug him tightly.

“Hi love! Oh no, you caught me in my actual work clothes,” you jest.

“Yeah but those knee pads though,” he kisses his fingertips and gestures towards the sky.

“They could come in handy,” you wag your eyebrows suggestively and laugh. “To what do I owe the honor of your presence so early in the afternoon?”

“Well,” he puts his arms around your waist, swaying side to side, ”I am off for the next two days, so go pack a bag, I’m taking you on a weekend getaway.”

“You are?!” you say excitedly, “Sweet! Where are we going?”

“Brisbane, I already set it all up, bring a nice dress. Wait, nevermind, I owe you one anyway. Can you be ready in like a ½ hour? You are driving by the way!” Austin is clearly stoked, thoughts tumbling out of his mouth as he backs towards the door, “I gotta go pack too, I’ll be back in 30 min!”

He shuts the door and you are standing there, then it hits you. He’s never taken you out on a date, let alone for a weekend. In public. Natural Bridge doesn’t count, you didn't’ encounter enough people for it to count.

“Ok,” you say to yourself, unstrapping the pads from your knees, “I guess we are doing this.”

It takes you 10 minutes to pack a bag, 10 in the shower and 5 to put on your long dress, Chacos and throw some mascara on. You are hastily tidying up your scraps from the day when Austin pops in the door.

“Ready?” he grabs your bag.

“I am, but…” you hesitate, unsure what exactly to ask, “what am I supposed to do in public? Do we need to walk separately, or something? I just don’t know what to expect and I’m all of a sudden nervous.” You hadn’t realized it until this moment just how green you are to all of this.

“Oh hunny,” he sets down the bags and enfold you in his arms, ”you don’t have to do anything differently. Just be yourself. I doubt anyone will even recognize me. If they do, well, most people are really nice. I love you and I honestly don’t care if the world sees us, as long as you are OK with that.”

“I want to say I’m OK with it, but I’m also not sure that I have any idea what that would mean,” you say honestly.

“Fuck, I’m sorry I didn’t think about this, I was just excited to get away with you. We don't have to go if you don’t want to,” he says, trying not to sound disappointed.

“Hold up, I didn’t say I didn't want to go. I just need you to remember that I’m just a civilian here in your celebrity world. I really don’t give a fuck about what people might say about me or what they see. I just don’t want to mess with your reputation or image or whatever. Cuz I love you too.”

“Awww, Kitten, thank you.” he hugs you close, ”It will all be just fine. I haven’t seen any paparazzi around here lately anyway. The way I see it, it’s none of their business. If something happens, just follow my lead. They don’t get to control us.”

You take a big breath, “Alright, fuck it, let’s go have a great weekend.”

You manage to sneak Austin out like last time, although no one was there to see anyway, which goes a long way to soothe your fears. You just don’t want to end up not being able to go to the grocery store. You remind yourself that you aren’t dating a member of the royal family, so chill out.

The one and a half hour drive is easy in the afternoon. You spontaneously stop at a little hole in the wall place called Yatala Pie Shop. Mostly because, mmmm pie. They make homemade delicious gourmet pot pies and pastries. You share a chicken mushroom pie, a sausage roll and a caramel tart. You are feeling much more relaxed. You are just two normal, admittedly pretty, people out driving.

Austin has a roll of film to finish, so he periodically snaps a photo of you. Driving, eating, laughing.

You pull up to the swanky Emporium Hotel.

“Shit Austin, I don’t know if I’m this fancy… I’m not sure I’m gonna fit in,” you look at him slightly concerned.

“I get it, but Kitten, the key is to simply act like you do,” He winks as he gets out of the car. You nod to yourself as the valet opens your door and you hand your keys to her.

A bellhop grabs the bags. Austin is right there beside you, hand on your waist, sweeping you confidently into the lobby. A fantastic white sweeping staircase dominates the three story atrium in front of a wall of glass. A huge red sculptural wall abuts the lush living wall that provides the backdrop for the front desk.

Austin leads you up with a little of that Elvis swagger in his gait. It’s sexy as hell. He checks in under a pseudonym. Everyone immediately is treating you both with that deference you thought reserved for rich people. Maybe they know who he is?

Taking Austin’s advice, you just act like someone with money. ‘These old things? Yes, these are exclusive Chacos only for sexy people. This dress, yes it IS vintage, sustainability is so posh,’ you think to yourself, trying to act bored, as though you have seen all this before, even though you are ‘wowing’ on the inside.

“Ah, yes sir, and your tickets will be waiting at will-call tomorrow,” says the concierge with a smile.

Austin also asks for information on where the best shopping is. The concierge recommends a couple places and offers to call ahead for an appointment and an uber whenever you are ready.

The bellhop has your bags on a cart and takes you to your room. You get in the elevator and go up, up, up. He makes small talk, asking if you’d ever been here before and where you were planning on dinner. He recommends the hotel restaurant as well as a couple others near. The bell dings at the top floor and the elevator opens to a beautiful foyer.

“Welcome to the Exquisite Suite Sir,” the bellhop says as he makes a show of opening an elaborate set of double doors, flanked by Carrera Marble columns. You quickly realize why they were treating you and Austin that way. It’s not that they know who he is. It’s that he booked the best suite in the hotel

It is gorgeous. Floor to ceiling windows, balcony, a huge bed, well placed mirror walls, marble bathroom, a huge tub overlooking the city, a walk-in closet and a full on bar with chilled champagne in a bucket and chocolate dipped strawberries. The bellhop opens the champagne and pours two glasses.

Austin tips the bellhop and closes the door as you pull open the balcony doors and go stand at the clear railing, looking out at the amazing city view.

“Holy crap babe, this is splashy,” you tell him as he brings over the glasses and the strawberries, offering you one. You guys clink, drink and take a bite out of the strawberries. The chocolate, berry and champagne flavors mix in your mouth. It's decadent!

“I figure we have both been working hard and we deserve it.” He wraps his arm around you, kissing your neck.

“Well, what all do you have planned to do?” you ask.

“Apart from you?” he drains his glass and sets it down on the little table and pulls your shoulder strap down, kissing your skin.

“I hoped I would be on the list, yes” you smile, leaning your head to the side so he can kiss up your neck.

“Well,” *kiss* “ I want to take you to get a new dress for tomorrow night,” *kiss* “We have the darkroom tomorrow at one,” *kiss* “And theater tickets at 7,” *kiss* “Anything else is gravy.”*kiss* “We can do that wheel thing," he points out the window to what looks like a Ferris wheel, “ we can walk the gardens, do a museum, find a club, … whatever you want hun.” *kiss*

“Damn, I don’t know what I want to do first,” you say, “ strike that, yes I do.” You set down your champagne, turn around and hands to Austin’s face, press your lips to his. “Thank you Austin,” you whisper against his gorgeous, full lips.

He looks deep into your eyes and says with a straight face, “my pleasure.”

You fucking crack up. He does too.

“Ahhh,” he says on the tail end of his laughter, “no really, I’m so grateful you were willing to come with me.” He leans in and kisses you slowly, deeply.

Your hands are on his neck, playing in his hair. God you love kissing him. The breeze kicks up and your dress billows. Austin's hands land on your naked cheeks.

“Wait a minute, have you been bare under this all afternoon?” he asks, gliding his hands to see if you have on a thong or something.

“Yes,“ you shrug, ”I wanted to be ready, y’know, if we had a chance for a little quickie in the wild.” Your hand migrates to his covered crotch. You feel a growing bulge.

“Did you now,” he says, “Well I can’t decide if that’s naughty or nice.”

“Why not both?” You unzip his fly and pull out his half hard cock. You step back, turn around leaning forward on the railing and step your legs apart. You look over your shoulder at him, then lift up the back of your dress, revealing your naked bum.

“Oh hoh hoh, Kitten,” his hands are on you, one on your ass and one cupping your breast, his mouth kissing, sucking biting your neck. His growing cock rubbing on your bare cheek. His shorts and undies fall to the ground.

His hand slips down your front, between your legs, feeling your soft lips. He presses on either side, making your moist inner lips push out. He milks your lips, going wide and pressing deep, then pushing them together while he pulls away. It makes you suck in breath and breathe out shakily.

“How ready for me are you?” he asks, easily sliding a finger between your lips. ”Oh my, quite.”

He pulls away his finger glistening with moisture and brings it to his mouth. You watch him suck your juices off his finger from the corner of your eye. Twisting, you reach up and pull him down to your mouth. Your tongue flicking on his lip, tasting the slightly salty remnants of you there.

Both of his hands reach down to pull your cheeks apart. His now hard cock slides between your legs, along the line of wetness he created when he pinched your lips. His velvety soft tip feels exquisite along your smooth labia. Luckily you had just got waxed a couple days ago.

You seep more. He slides more. You moan softly. He quietly groans in the back of his throat. He slides his arms under yours, fingers playing with your stiffening nipples.

“Do you want me fuck you Kitten?” he growls in your ear, “out here in broad daylight, with your dress still on?”

“Oh gods yes,” you moan quietly.

You tip your hips just enough to slide him into you on the next thrust. From behind he feels even bigger than usual and the angle hits you just right inside.

Buried deep in you, he laughs low and grips tight to your shoulders from the front. His hips rock back, pulling his cock almost out of you, then thrusts forward, sheathing himself in you again. He hits that spot in you again, making you moan.

Suddenly you hear voices. You both freeze, trying to figure out where it’s coming from. It sounds like from below. You peek over and see a couple on the slightly larger balcony below you. You motion for Austin to look.

You both peer over, him still inside you. The couple start kissing, after a minute, she drops to her knees as he undoes his fly. Her head bobs forward and backward as she starts sucking his cock. It’s fucking hot. You are mesmerized.

“Do you want to go inside?” Austin whispers quietly in your ear.

You shake your head, no.

“Can you be quiet?” he whispers in your ear, you can hear the smile in his voice.

You just nod.

Slowly, he starts moving in you. Both of you are watching over the balcony.

The man has taken off his shirt, his pants puddled around his ankles. He is moderately muscular. She has added her hand to the stroking of him. He is moaning audibly, hands laced on the back of his neck. You hear “That’s it mama, take it deep, daddy likes your mouth on his cock.” She keeps sucking him, making choking sounds.

You swallow a moan, pressing your lips together.

He stands her up, spit has soaked the front of her blouse. He pulls it off and kneads her big natural breasts. She undoes the bra and he leans down to take her nipples in his mouth. She is beautifully curvy, with long brown hair that falls down her back as he leans her head back, eyes closed, moaning.

Austin’s thrusts become faster.

He is wiggling off her pants. She sits in the balcony chair, her legs over the arms.

“Yeah, you get down there and fuckin’ eat that muff,” she says.

He kneels in front of her and dives into her pussy. She is moaning loudly. “Yeah, get it daddy, tongue-fuck that fuck hole. YES!”

It is so hot watching them fuck with Austin inside you. He starts breathing a little harder in your ear.

You can hear her yelling, “I’m ‘bout to cum daddy, yes, finger me, yes, yes YES!”

You look back down and she has a hold of his hair, grinding her pussy into his face.

“Look at her cumming on his face,” Austin whispers to you, fucking you harder now. Your fingers are rubbing around your clit, you hadn't even realized you were touching yourself.

The man is rising up from his knees, stroking his cock. “Daddy’s gonna fuck that sweet cunt now. You ready for me?”

You feel heat rising from your core

“Oh daddy, give me that big cock.” He does have a big cock, you notice. She is bouncing, slapping her pussy with light smacks as he leans over her. “You are so fucking hot baby,” he guides himself into her and starts fucking her hard, planking on the chair.

You are getting close. Your free hand is clutched in Austin’s hair behind you.

“Watch how he makes her tits bounce,” his low voice quiet in your ear. Austin starts fucking you in earnest, as you flicker across your clit with your fingertips.

“Fucking take it mama, take my cock like a champ. Oh fuck, I’m gonna paint your pussy like a Pollak,” you hear him say.

You hear squelching noises, you aren’t sure if they are yours or hers.

Your chin tilted up to the sky, eyes fluttering, you are so close.

“No baby, “ he gently tilts your head down, “watch them cum,” he whispers.

You open your mouth in a silent O just as you hear her screaming “OOOOOHHHHH FUUUUUUCK YEAHHH!!” He pulls out of her and jizzes all over her tits and belly.

Your orgasm mushrooms from your clit and g-spot and ruptures into your chest. Screaming silently, your whole body shakes. Austin is gripping you tightly, trying to hold you up as he slams into you, then leans back and thrusts deep, shaking as he silently pumps his cum into you.

“Fuck mama,” the man says, “ that was good, my little exhibitionist.”

“Yeah, I would love it if someone was actually watching us.” She says as they go inside.

“Should we tell them?” you ask Austin as he is pulling out of you, cum dripping down your leg.

“UM no,” he says firmly, “remember, shy.”

“Oh yeah, sorry, I forget that about you.” You kiss him.

“Let’s clean up and go get you a dress. Although you may want to wear some underthings.” He smiles at you and playfully slaps your ass. ….

You guys uber to a fancy French boutique suggested by the concierge, who made an appointment for you. It’s one of those places that they give you drinks and bring clothes for you to try on.

Austin sits down on the viewing couch with his bourbon. The lady running the shop is painfully thin, even for a French lady. She brings a handful of evening dresses. You tried on a couple, but none of them fit right and they made Austin frown and shake his head.

The lady is unzipping the dress for you in the dressing room. She makes a rude comment under her breath in French about how your muscles were too big for her evening wear, but smiles at you in the mirror.

You turn around, mouth open “Excusez-moi?” you say quietly, “oui, je parle francais,“ then louder and in English, “ My body is kick ass and strong. I’m not gonna let you or anyone else body shame me, especially in a language they don’t think I know. Plus that fucking HOT man out there loves this body.”

You grab your sundress off the satin hanger and shoes from the floor. Confidently you walk out of the dressing room in your bra and panties.

“Et peut-être manger quelque chose, dame grincheuse,” you say to her. She just stands there, mouth open in shock.

You stand in front of Austin, and step into your dress. He is frowning, not at your lack of dress, but at what he heard you say in the dressing room.

“Will you please zip me up babe.” You say calmly, although you are fuming inside.

“Of course Kitten,” he throws his drink back, and stands up and zips up your back. “We will go spend our money somewhere else," he says calmly.

You walk out the door, completely ignoring the shop lady as she stutters out half hearted apologies in French.

Down the street, he stops you and hugs you tight. “I’m sorry love, are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m ok, I just didn’t expect that, especially in this day and age," you blow out a big breath.

“What did she say?” he asks.

“That I was too big and muscle-y for her dresses but in French with a smile on her face, assuming I wouldn’t know what she was saying.” You say exasperated.

“What did you say to her before we left?”

“I told her to eat something, then called her a cranky lady,” he stares at you, you stare at him. You let out a puff of laughter and you both start laughing.

“You are right though,” he gathers you to him, “I do love your body.”

You try another shop, the man running it was amazing. He knew exactly what you needed and within a ½ hour you had a dress that made Austin’s eyes light up. It was deep sparkly blue, off the shoulder and curve hugging with a thigh slit that showed off your sexy leg. It fit you like a glove.

You told Austin he really didn’t have to pay for it.

“Oh no, I insist.” then in a lower voice, “so if I ruin it later, I won’t feel bad about it.”

He hands his credit card to the man, who pretends not to hear, but winks at you as he runs the card. Austin has the dress sent to the hotel. You decided not to look at the price tag, you didn’t want to know. You thanked him profusely.

“Oh you will thank me just fine later,” he says with a wink.

As you walk down the street you see a big sign that says CLUB X. You are intrigued. You walk right in and find a sex toy store. You are giddy! You love these places!

“I’ve never been brave enough to go to a place like this,” he whispers in your ear.

“Oh babe, these places are fun! People aren’t embarrassed about sex and you can ask all the questions.” You are like a kid in a candy store.

You two wander around together at first, then you separate and end up at the other side of the store.

“Can I help you find anything?” you hear the clerk ask him.

“Yes,” says Austin, ”um, I am wondering about these,” he indicates the display in front of him.

The clerk talks to him as you check out rainbow butt plugs and new clit suction toys. You decide to buy a fully submersible vibe, thinking of the huge tub in the hotel room. The clerk talks you into some water play lube and some toy cleaner, which you needed anyway.

“Just don’t use the silicone waterplay lube directly on the silicone toy, do you need some regular lube for it?” they ask, putting your purchases into a black paper bag.

“I definitely do not,” you look over your shoulder at Austin, who is walking towards you. “He keeps me wet enough pretty much all the time. Now if you have an electrolyte drink for sex….”

You both crack up as Austin comes up behind you and puts his arm around your waist. “Oh, wow, yes I can see why, lucky girl.” the clerk says to you quietly.

“You ready to go? I’m hungry,” he says.

“You two enjoy your purchases!” they say, knowingly, as you walk out hand in hand.

“Did you get something babe” you ask.

Austin just winks at you and walks on in search of food. You shake your head and hurry after him. Boys.

You come across an Argentinian grill called La Bocca Bar and decide to have dinner there. You head to the bathroom as you are waiting for a table.

As you step out the bathroom door, you notice a man do a double take and ask Austin if he is, well, himself. He shyly affirms. You keep back and let him do his thing. You are amazed at how kind he is, taking a picture with the guy and chatting. Shaking his hand as he departs.

Once you are seated and have a drink order in, he says, “See, that wasn’t so bad, He was a really nice guy, recognized me from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. He’s a Quinten Tarantino fan too.”

You sneakily pay for dinner, you couldn't let Austin pay for EVERYTHING. He gives you a squinty-eyed, pursed-lip look and shakes his head. You just smile big and cute.

Walking hand in hand, you wander through the city’s botanical gardens as the sun sets. The gardens are gorgeous. He is gorgeous. You are fucking gorgeous too! As it gets darker, he pulls you into a dark little alcove behind a tree and plants a long deep kiss on you. His hand slipping down between your legs.

“Oh Kitten, if I were braver I would lift this dress right here and slip inside you,” he whispers into your ear.

“Fuck, be brave baby,” you whisper back, bunching up the fabric in your fist. His fingers, expecting to find the soft material of your panties, finds only your bare skin.

“Oh hohoh,” he breathes out with a curled lip, “you are so dirty, I love it.” He pushes his fingers inside you, “how are you always so damn wet.”

“You.” Your hands are wrapped around his neck, pressing your body close to his to hide this devious act from any wayward eyes.

He captures your mouth with his. Your hips rocking back and forth on his fingers, the knuckle of his thumb sparking against your clit..

“Fuck that feels good baby” you whisper in his ear. “Don’t stop.”

“You gotta be quiet again.” He lets you continue to fuck yourself on his fingers, kissing your mouth.

You can feel the sparks start to catch fire. Your breath comes short and sharp through your nose. His kiss fanning the flames. He pulls his fingers out and just starts flicking your clit with his fingers. It’s just enough to set you off, flames dancing across your nub and into your core. You quietly moan, muted by his mouth. Your hands grip his arms tight, fingers digging into his flesh. Your stomach tightens and shivers run up and down your spine.

He pulls away, both hand and mouth. Your dress drops, hiding your wet thighs. You lean your head on his chest. Recovering your breath.

You hear the crunching of feet on the pathway. You both freeze until the crunching fades. He lets out the breath he was holding.

“Fuck, that was close’ he says.

“Yeah, but thanks for being brave baby.” You lean up and lightly kiss his lips.

“Lets go back to the hotel,” he suggests.

“Yes please, I need a bath,” you declare, remembering your new toy.

“Yes you do, dirty girl” he says low, “and I need more of you.”

You decide to walk back to the hotel across the Good Will Bridge and along the river front walk. He buys ice cream from a street vendor. It is a perfect night.

Back in the room, Austin draws a hot bath. You put your hair up and sink into the freestanding, oversized oval tub. He turns off the lights and slides in behind you, the water rising to cover your tits. You watch the city lights creating contrasting highlights and shadows across your bodies. You cuddle in the hot water as he runs his fingers over your skin.

Once again, it strikes you how blissful this moment is: the feel of him behind you, the lines he is tracing on your arm and shoulder, the eddies of his breath on your neck; the warm water cocooning you both.

Fucking paradise.

You take in an enormous breath, burrow into him, and exhale the most rapturous sigh.

He hugs you tight to him, kissing your temple.

Bliss.

After a few minutes his deep voice rumbles in your ear, “Would you be willing to play a little game with me tomorrow?”

“What are you thinking?” you nuzzle your ear against his lips.

“Well, I am wondering if you’ll let me edge you all day,” he is cupping your breasts in the water.

Immediately you are intrigued, “Oh?”

“Y'know, play with you, get you all hot and bothered but not let you cum. At least not until I say so. I’m curious how you will respond to that,” his hand migrates to your labia, stroking you lightly under the water.

“Well, my demon may eat you alive… but I am game to try.”

“Your demon?” he asks.

“Oh, you have met her,” you smile, “remember that morning when you made me cum and cum and cum?”

Austin nods his head, “Mmm hmm, that was fun .”

“Well, right after I was squatting on your cock and came on your face,“ Austin growls appreciatively behind you pressing his palm into your vulva, “when you told me I needed to be tamed and knocked me down on the bed and I still demanded that you fuck me?”

“Oh yes,” he remembers, “ you had this wild look like I was prey or something.”

“Yeah,” you say a little self-consciously, “ you were. Prey. That was my sex demon. She can get out of hand sometimes. I usually keep her on a short leash, although you tend to bring her out.”

“I seemed to be able to handle her then, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he seems confident, ”and if it comes to that, I will just tie her down on my own short leash.“ He rubs his hand back and forth.

“Oh my, “ the idea and pressure start another warm fire behind your clit. “Ok, on one condition.”

“What’s that Kitten,” he rubs a thumb across your nipple.

“That we don’t start until tomorrow morning,” you sit up, reach behind the tub and grab your new vibrator, “cuz I gotta play in this tub!”

“Alright,” he says, pulling you around for a kiss to seal the deal.

His lips are unfathomably soft, the tip of his tongue tickling your bottom lip. You melt into his chest, momentarily forgetting about the vibrator in your hand. Your lips open, pressing together, creating a seal to one another, tongues rolling across one another before pulling back with slight suction forming into two mouths once again with the tiniest of ingressive clicks.

“God I love kissing you,” you say looking into his eyes, “please don’t ever stop kissing me.”

“As long as it’s within my power Kitten,” he agrees, “That’s one of the first things I loved about you, that first night when you kissed me back. I knew that any woman who could kiss like that…” he shakes his head in memory, “well I knew we would fit well together.”

You acknowledge with a soft “yeah” and nod, kissing him again, longer this time. While kissing you, he takes the vibrator from your hand, and starts rubbing it against your pussy lips under the water. It’s off, but the soft silicone covering and the friction feels good.

Your kiss becomes more passionate, leveraging against the side of the tub with your foot to twist and reach up farther to him.

You can feel his hardening cock trapped in an awkward position between your bodies. You lift away from him a little, allowing space for him to rise behind you. You nestle back down against him, reaching for the vibrator with him. You turn it on to the lowest setting and help him press it to your pubis.

The fingers on his other hand drift down to your opening. There is something about the warm water and the vibrations that just hits different, while his fingers swirling in little circle motions just inside you make it all the more.

Guiding the vibe side to side, you snuggle the end down between your labia up against your clit. A moan slips from your lips as your head falls back against Austin’s shoulder as a spike of pleasure arcs up from the vibe.

Your thumb clicks the vibe up a level. Your hips shimmy against the vibrator and his fingers.

“Oh yeah.” he breathes into your ear, pushing his cock against your shaking body. His fingers start moving faster.

Another spike of pleasure shoots through you, then another. Your pussy clenches and you jolt forward, curling around your core.

“Ohhohohoh” you moan, not exactly an orgasm, but close.

Austin extracts his hand from your crotch and lifts your hips. You grab the edge of the tub, dropping the vibe to stand up. You reach for the water play lube and decide to make a show of it, stand up in the tub and bend over really far, Austin’s hands automatically go to your cheeks, spreading them apart so he can see.

“You have the most beautiful pussy, Kitten,” he says.

Before you can put lube on it, Austin’s tongue is slurping at the water dripping from your labia, reaching forward, teasing your clit.

“God I love licking you,” he says, lips against your labia and mimicking you from earlier, “please don’t ever stop letting me eat your pussy.”

“As long as it is in my power, Mon Roi.” You mimic back.

He pulls your hips towards him and delves into you, licking and sucking. He. Is. So. Talented. You mentally thank any and all previous lovers who taught him and/or provided opportunity for practice. Your ass shakes on his tongue.

He pulls away, rubbing your saliva soaked lips and utters the best five words of the day: “I want to fuck you.”

You spread some of the waterplay lube onto just your opening, in case you want to play with the toy more on your clit.

“Can you get your cock out of the water?” He pushes his hips up and since the water is lower for you not being in it, you can slather his cock in the silicone based lube. You put your feet on the outside of his legs and flip your legs underneath you, pushing your ass back towards him on your knees.

“Oh yeah Kitten, slide down on me, “ he holds his cock as he guides you down, “oh my god that feels good.”

On your knees, facing away from him, you are impaled on his cock. His hands are pushing and pulling on your hips as much as you are bobbing back and forth on him. The lube is a game changer and doesn’t wash away. Water begins to splash back and forth in the tub.

After a few minutes, you decide you feel too detached from him. You rise off him and turn around in the tub.

Lowering down onto his cock again, you take his face in your hands and hungrily kiss him. Squatting on your feet this time, you glide up and down the length of him, taking him deep.

Fuck, it feels phenomenal be kissing him and to have him so deep inside you, to be so joined, connected together as one being in the watery chrysalis that is this tub. The beast with two backs, moving together in the ancient rhythm. Water sloshes up and over the thick side of the cauldron. Whatever magic you are making, it is intense.

He pulls away from your mouth, breathing heavily, forehead to yours, hands on your face. Your hips stop moving on him.

“My god Kitten, I feel so good when I’m with you,” he says, “not just fucking, but anytime I am with you. ”

“I’m so damn lucky to get to be with you baby, you are….. beyond words, “ you say, leaning in to kiss him hard. His ass flexes and thrusts into you. Your hips start up again.

Suddenly the water is rippling as Austin turns on the wand and pushes it towards your clit. You break away from kissing him and lean back to give him space. One hand around your waist, the other holding the vibe hard to your pussy, he kicks it up one, two levels.

“Oh fuck yes,” you moan out, head back.

“Keep going Kitten,” he commands. ”I want to watch you go to pieces on my cock.”

His words fan your flames. You are riding him like a galloping stallion, hard and fast, holding to the side of the tub. His hand keeps the vibe tight against you. Water is splashing everywhere.

Deep below and behind your belly the quickening rises. Your eyes roll back in your head, your mouth is open, the tip of your tongue flipping back and forth. Suddenly Austin’s wet finger is in your mouth. You suck it, rubbing your tongue vigorously along its length. Your strokes become short and sharp but he is still deep inside you.

“Do it baby, do it,” he says through clenched teeth. He clicks the vibrator up one more level.

The rising erupts over you like lava from your belly. Steam escapes in a full on scream around this finger as you cum. Your back is alternately arching and rounding on his cock. Water swirls, turbulent, around you both.

You are breathing heavily through your nose, humped over him, still sucking his finger.

“I need you out of this tub,” his voice is low and weighty.

You rise off him and he slips out from under you. You collapse into the tub. Getting out, he almost slips on the wet floor. He throws the towel down and turns to help you out. His cock dripping with water and lube in front of you. You look up, it’s gorgeous. Maybe it's the demon in you, but god you love his cock.

He hauls you up onto your feet and helps you get out, reaching down to grab the vibe. He walks you slowly, carefully backwards off the hard, wet floor, wrapping your wet hair around his loose fist.

“Oh Kitten, you got me so fired up,” he is looking you dead in the eye, lust painted all over his face, “making me finger you in public, sloshing up and down on my cock in the tub, the taste of your pussy on my lips.”

Once you hit the carpet, his hand tightens, pulling your head back. Your pussy drenches again.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard,” his lips against your exposed neck, “and when you cum again, cuz you will, I’m not gonna stop, no matter how much you beg me to.”

You shudder in delight at the thought, your demon glinting in your eye. Fuck, you want him. Now.

He pushes you down on the foot of the bed, Your wet hair splays out behind you. The cool night air from the open balcony door turns your skin into gooseflesh.

“Come get me baby, make me beg,” your demon coaxes him on.

Then he is on you with a growl, hands again in your hair. His delicious mouth is on yours, his tongue flicking and playing with yours as he finds his way inside you again.

Your swollen pussy and clit are so sensitive already that you almost cum when he thrusts inside you. You know you are in for it now.

He’s nothing if not honorable and true to his word, starts slamming into you, but with a slow rhythm.

Gripping your hair tight, he stops after each thrust, savoring your moan and your body arching, before slamming in again.

Thrust- Arch- Moan- Pull.

Thrust- Arch- Moan- Pull.

Thrust- Arch- Moan- Pull.

Each stroke is deep and hard.

Each one just a little faster than the last.

Soon he is driving in and out of you with no pause, holding you down by your hair.

You are on the brink of cumming again when he sits back onto his heels and pulls your hips on to his lap. He thrusts the vibe into your hand. You click the button several times and shove it onto your clit. He pushes himself into you and holding on to your hips he continues, dauntless in his quest of ravishing your pussy.

You can feel the heat in your face, rising red. The pulsations on your pussy expand deep into you then explode into particles of pleasure that liquefy in your veins, every cell alight.

Austin keeps fucking you.

You are thrashing on his cock now, handfuls of sheets bunched in your fists.

And he keeps going.

Wordless screams roll from you in time to his thrusts.

He keeps going.

Tears stream out your eyes as your screams turn to sobs of “I can't, no, no, no”.

“Yes yes yes!” he snarls, and he keeps going.

It’s too much, you are flooding him, flooding yourself.

He keeps going.

You are swept away, lost in the erotic pain and pleasure that is the torrent of his pounding dick.

Suddenly, he falls forward on top of you, roaring into your shoulder, thrusting hard, harder, harder into you. You rattle your own teeth with the strength of your shaking under him, clenching down so hard onto his cock.

He lets out a string of profanity, as your pussy milks the cum out of him as you clench and unclench. He is laying on you exhausted, shivering and moaning.

[two-sides-samecoin]

Like the big asshole character that does a lot of the sexist stuff (I think his name is Bruce) says that writing about the mall a good idea, even supplements it with a headline (Death of Small Town America) and then mocks Nancy for forgetting the mustard on his sandwich. But instead of focusing on writing that story, she focuses on writing a story that is way less likely to be believed and that she doesn't hear until hours later. We don't see or hear anything indicating that they're planning on stealing Nancy's idea, so we can assume they dismissed it.

So anyways, I'm pretty sure this is the Duffer's doing because they want tense moments at night, but they're having Nancy clean up the meeting room when it's dark outside in June. That's like 8-9 PM. Why is she there all alone at 8-9PM? Why is she working at 8-9? And that's when she picks up Ms.Driscoll's call and she doesn't even bring it up to the reporters before she goes and investigates because she thinks it's that good of a story and she knows they'll say no if she asked them.

Another thing is that Nancy and Robin lie their way into Pennhurst to talk to Victor Creel! Like if Nancy only did for that one time, I'd be fine. But they keep showing her repeatedly lying to get information. That is NOT a good thing. It's showing that she has no integrity in how she gets her information as long as she gets it. And yeah, if I was Ms Driscoll's family, I would be so angry because a "relative" that I don't know was the last person to spend time with her when she was alive. It's horrifying.

So the Darkroom with Jonathan and Nancy. The Darkroom is Jonathan's sanctuary, it's where he can do his photography. So I think Nancy disrupting that environment, especially when it has consequences (Whatever prints Jonathan was working on are ruined) continually and for her to end up eventually dragging him out of the Darkroom and to start arguing with him in the Darkroom, which is his safe space. I want to say more here, but my brain is not functioning so I will not.

Like an issue that I have with the Nancy Karen conversation is that Karen talks about proving her bosses wrong and to continue pursuing this story, but they never talk about why she got fired, which again is why I brought up the whole it's not sexism, it's a valid firing is because the show wants us, the watchers, to see it that way, that Nancy was fired unjustly. Because we know that Nancy is right and the show uses it to their advantage. Like that's why we got the "Tom is on drugs" line. To discount him. Anyways, Karen says this, "That you stood up for yourself. That you stood up to those shitheads!" But Nancy really didn't? She never expressed her frustration towards her coworkers, just to Jonathan. She never stood up to coworkers and said what they were doing was wrong and disgusting. She pursued a story she was told not to and got fired, and in my opinion that's not really standing up to sexist coworkers. Like she got fired because she disobeyed an order to stop pursuing a story and she impersonated a reporter. What she faced at the office was horrible, but that doesn't change the fact she got fired for valid reasons and the show wants to erase that.

Ahhhh so yeah it really was a misogynistic thing with the mocking. But yeah we don’t hear that they’re planning to steal it - they more seem to dismiss it.

Yeah i’m pretty sure that was their intention because there is no way that it was unintentionally especially considering that this is a tense moment between the two. But yeah actually why do the duffers have her all alone at 8pm? At work? And not tell anyone. But i also guess this does align with Nancy’s characterization - i know this was this season but nancy this season did want to go off on her own after fred died without telling anyone about her suspicions and why she went off alone.

YES! Nancy keeps lying her way around things and information! and they also don’t allow nancy to have any moral complications or even show her being upset about it. Yeahhh it also shows that she has no integrity especially because she has no problems about lying! we never see her once have a problem with it which would honestly make this sooo interesting. Imagine a Nancy having some moral problems about this but ending up going through with it anyway. Idk it would just be so much more interesting. but also yeah high key would be so pissed if I was Mrs. Driscoll’a family members and ngl but i would also be high key suspicious that the person that claimed they were family actually ended up hurting her.

Yes Nancy totally disrupting that peace suggests sooo much. Especially because SHE ISNT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE! She just barges in when Jonathan is developing the film. Nancy isn’t even supposed to be there which is heavy evidence to suggest that this is heavily something that is dark in their relationship - there’s something hanging over it. Nancy’s drive and not care attitude is something that is dark in her relationships.

ohhh yes about everything with their talk. Nancy and Karen never talk about why she got fired - only how she’s been treated. Yes!! the show uses nancy being right to their advantage so much - is she right in the UD sense? YES!! is she wrong in the professional world? also YES!! because the show is focused on just the UD - it also takes away the realism of being in the real world and being fired because this isn’t the way that Nancy should act in the job. yes about that last line of Nancy only showing her frustrations with jonathan. Which this also does align with Nancy’s characterization honestly - she gets frustrated at a person but because she doesn’t confront/have a conversation about why there’s a problem- she takes it out on other people. yeah what she didn’t isn’t standing up to sexist workers - it’s just her wanting to pursue something that had nothing to do with them. Your last sentence is perfect! and explains everything here

[forgottenyear]

Photography.

No, really. Not just pictures, but more than can be healthy to know about old film photography.

It has been an obsessive hobby for a while. (*excessive)

[a very long text, but with pictures this time]

A photo taken under a dining room table in 2004.

Hyperfocal and in low light, on sheet film (using a Shenhao HZX45-iia camera, Kodak TMY / 400 ISO film, developed in HC-110 with minimal agitation), large format (mine is 4x5 inches).

The technical challenge was to take a hyperfocal photograph (both foreground and background are in focus, although my scanner could not capture this as well), but under low light.

Hyperfocal photographs require the aperture to be small, but low light usually demands the aperture be wide open (to capture as much light as possible).

It took about a day to research and to make the spreadsheet to calculate for failure of reciprocity (film exposes exponentially [I think exponentially] more slowly over the time of the exposure). It took four and a half hours to take the photograph (cats and people walked through, but not slowly enough to be captured). I placed the camera, then increased the light until the needle on the light meter just twitched, and I had to calculate from there, since it was not even on the dial when it twitched.

Developing with minimal agitation is a trick I picked up from reading about Ansel Adams, and it is not supposed to work well with modern film, but it takes a little longer to develop. Minimal agitation takes advantage of the developer to widen the tonal range - kind of like HDR, except in the development of a single negative. The developer exhausts itself in bright (or is it dark, I forget) areas of the film, but continues to work on the less exhausted areas.

(I do not have the space or the money for a large format enlarger, so my prints are either direct contact, or digitally scanned.)

--

Hemlock tree trunks (2003)

This is an abumen print, from a 100 ISO negative (Kodak TMX as marked on the right edge, also using the Shenhao HZX-iia), also developed using HC-110 (it is safe around cats) (and incompetent amatures like me) and minimal agitation.

I snagged a boxful of premade abumen printing paper from Chicago Abumen Works before they stopped selling. I could make my own, but that will not be needed for a while. I have used Van Dyke solution, but the results are less impressive than this. Most of the photos I print are on albumen or cyanotype (using the premade kind that they sell for sun prints in craft stores).

The same hemlock trunks, printed using a different method.

This was printed, over a month, on a green file folder that I noticed would fade in the sun. The actual folder does not appear to have printed, but I was able to "find" it in photoshop. It did print, but the contrast is so minimal that "developing" also drew out the individual grains of the file folder. I direct copied the original negative, because I did not want to expose the original to the abuse of sitting in a sunny window for a month (which is why the notching is different - in the upper end of the right edge, there are notches to help identify the film and its orientation in a darkroom).

Albumen and cyanotype also use sunlight for printing, so this was not far removed from my usual alt-photography methods.

--

A side-street at night (January 2004).

This does not appear to be a great technical challenge, until I add that it was shot on black and white film (Kodak TMX / 100 ISO).

This process involves shooting three sheets of film, each with a different color filter. When the process was originally developed, it would probably have been gum printed, but I was unsuccessful with this process. My "printing" process was to assemble the three images as color channels in Photoshop.

Being a night photo, but less hyperfocal than the one under the table, the film had to be exposed for about five minutes. In January. I was keeping the unexposed film carriers in my jacket to keep them warm, but this meant opening my jacket to the stiff wind that was blowing up the street at me. I was approaching hypothermic before I was done, but a shady looking man started talking with me and saying that my camera looked expensive, so I walked toward the center of town when I finished, to be sure I was not being followed (the shortest route home is the one in the photograph, but the streets are more darker much quickly).

--

Yet another color photo taken on black and white film. In this one, if you can zoom in on individual buildings, you can see where lights were turned on or off over the twenty minutes or so it took to take the three sheets of film with different color filters. You can also see where the tide was going out, by the color changes. The cyan color reflected nearer the far shore corresponds to the red filter (I always go RGB, so I will be less likely to get confused about which filter comes next in the middle - which is the only reason I know the tide was going out). RGB is the inverse of CMY(K is usually included in the set, but BW film answers for that), so a red filter produces a cyan negative, green produces magenta, and blue produces yellow. (If you have wondered, the red-yellow-blue set is reflective color, red-green-blue is additive, and cymk is subtractive - color is way too complicated.)

--

An ant war (2004)

My pictures were horrendously shuffled about by a backup program, so I cannot locate the companion image for this one. Because they are unwilling to sit for a long exposure, I had to throw enough light onto the scene to capture this one quickly. Fortunately, it was in my back yard, so I brought out a large mirror to reflect the sun.

Understand that these are tiny ants, only a few millimeters long. If I could find the companion detail, I could show that the TMX (100 ISO) negative captures the rectangular mirror reflected off the gaster (the ants butt) of several ants.

I originally started with large format, and low-speed, film because I intended to write a plant identification guide for a local hiking trail. The photographs in the guides I had were not very good - they would describe hairs on a stem that the photographs did not capture.

4x5 (four inches by five inches) cameras are about a large as I would care to carry into the wilderness with me, and low-speed film has the smallest grain, which produces higher resolution images. Unsurprisingly, the film I use (or did use, I have not done much with it for years, as the dates on these pictures may show) was still used for scientific images until recently.

--

Little white flowers (2004)

Another color image taken on black and white film. But this one shows the strength of large format 100 ISO film that captured my interest. Look at the detail in the detail photo at the bottom. I would not call this stem hairy, but look at the individual hairs.

Also, notice that the stamen were wilting over the course of three photographs, through the color changes as they drooped. This was taken on an overcast day, but still bright enough that it was within the film's speed. It does take time to change the film cartridges, however.

Insert the film cartridge. Remove the dark slide. Snap the photograph. Return the dark slide. Remove the film cartridge. Then repeat this twice more for one color image. Each individual photograph is on its own sheet of film, each in its own film cartridge (although I do use double sided cartridges, the process is the same for each side).

--

And finally, my baby (or the same model, HZX45-iia, since I cannot find my pictures anymore):

The description I first read of this camera said that "it folds up neatly, like a Hello Kitty lunchbox." It does fold down into a nice little box, but I keep it in a rugged case just to be safe. The perspective of this photo is misleading - the front is smaller than the back and the bellows taper accordingly (or accordianingly).

If you have ever wondered, the bellows allow the focal length, and the focal circle, to be changed. Every photograph in this post was taken with the same lens, which came with my first LF camera (a studio camera that does not fold up neatly, and bears no resemblance to a Hello Kitty lunchbox). I think it is a 150mm, but do not quote me on that. It is the standard for 4x5, whatever it is. I grew so attached to the versatility of a bellows that I got one for my DSLR (also no valid Hello Kitty lunchbox comparison, disappointingly).

A friend was in China on business in 2004, so was able to get the camera for half-price, or I would never have been able to afford this foolish hobby. It took much longer to assemble the darkroom equipment, and even that relied on close-out stock from camera stores that were going out of business.

2004 was also when I first had ocular migraines. Which is why my photography fell off. I hope to start up again, now that the medication is helping.

[visuallanguageandrewobertson]

Andrew Robertson P&E and VL Combined Evaluation 

Visual language

As a photographer, I consider my visual language skills to be reasonably well honed. Within this module I have tried to push the boundaries a little from my safe place of using a camera, using some of the techniques within the workshops.

The topic I chose became more difficult for me throughout the module.  I therefore changed focus, and instead of looking at the guilt of both myself and those close to me, I have ended up primarily looking at indexes within my own guilt. Looking at Issues and situations regarding how I have treated myself and others.  It took time to get my head around both of these modules and what I was being ask to produce. This has given me the incentive to be more on the ball with future modules and begin planning and separating tasks earlier within my process.

As time became an issue, mostly with regard to my heath, I chose to retract to my safe space artistically (using my camera). This was perhaps an easy option in some ways, yet the content and topic I was dealing with was not. Earlier in the module I was more willing to work within the mediums of workshops.  I produced some interesting works using shadow and projection of light though screen printed glass, creating a suitably atmospheric, edgy effect, in line with my topic. I am also aware that some of my work may seem to some a little glib and poke fun at things, but this is very much indicative of me as an artist.

Process and Enquiry

I approached this module in a freer manner and with less focus on theme, trying to make it more about the process of learning new skills and techniques. Screen printing was my main focus within this module and I found many parallels with the darkroom photography processes. The use of light sensitive chemicals to expose the screens and the move from positive to negative to a positive image, while having an awareness of how layering can be used to create different effects and styles.   This is almost certainly one of the workshop practices I will revisit.  Once again, my planning with this module was not as comprehensive as I’d have liked looking back, and I will address in future.

During this module I was looking at ways of recording time passing, for the time-based element. I also experimented with producing stopgap videos, using photography stills, often utilising a long exposure and moving the camera while shooting to add to the effect of time passing.  I also worked a little with plaster casting and if I had more time I would have liked to explore this process further. This added to my understanding of what may be possible using these practices, in regards to working with plaster, ideas of further creating, using carved moulds of materials like polystyrene and even cardboard or papier-mâché sealed with varnish.

Working with Stopgap utilizing long exposure photographs has led to me thinking how narrative can be instilled within these works, as well as creating works of longer duration.        

I rarely produce work I am happy with, work to further understanding myself, work that I can also take gratification in when others see it as intended and can affiliate with it in some way.  I am often looking towards the next works I will produce. This is probably the case with most of the work created during these modules, however I believe I have begun to learn some new techniques that may become part of my working practice in the future, blending my photographic and newly learnt screen-printing practices and continuing to experiment with what is possible. 

I embraced and attended all of the workshops, trying to get as much as possible from them in the moment. As I progressed, choosing to spend more time on the aspects that clicked with me focusing on screen printing and working with shadow and projection.     

I also am very much aware that my engagement with the reading lists provided is not good enough and I will endeavour to embrace this more fully in the future. Giving myself more time and adjusting my attitude towards it. Reading in general is something I struggle with and breaking this down into smaller sections will help me as opposed to looking at it as a single task.  I am frequently looking into new artists (to me) and absorbing information from visual sources, such as documentaries and other programmes about art, design, history and politics.  I want to be part of the group when learning and am always keen to share my knowledge and advice regarding others’ work and vice versa. This is very much an important part of the course for me and indeed a large factor in my choice to study.

[processandenquiryandrewrobertson]

Andrew Robertson P&E and VL Combined Evaluation 

Visual language

As a photographer, I consider my visual language skills to be reasonably well honed. Within this module I have tried to push the boundaries a little from my safe place of using a camera, using some of the techniques within the workshops.

The topic I chose became more difficult for me throughout the module.  I therefore changed focus, and instead of looking at the guilt of both myself and those close to me, I have ended up primarily looking at indexes within my own guilt. Looking at Issues and situations regarding how I have treated myself and others.  It took time to get my head around both of these modules and what I was being ask to produce. This has given me the incentive to be more on the ball with future modules and begin planning and separating tasks earlier within my process.

As time became an issue, mostly with regard to my heath, I chose to retract to my safe space artistically (using my camera). This was perhaps an easy option in some ways, yet the content and topic I was dealing with was not. Earlier in the module I was more willing to work within the mediums of workshops.  I produced some interesting works using shadow and projection of light though screen printed glass, creating a suitably atmospheric, edgy effect, in line with my topic. I am also aware that some of my work may seem to some a little glib and poke fun at things, but this is very much indicative of me as an artist.

Process and Enquiry

I approached this module in a freer manner and with less focus on theme, trying to make it more about the process of learning new skills and techniques. Screen printing was my main focus within this module and I found many parallels with the darkroom photography processes. The use of light sensitive chemicals to expose the screens and the move from positive to negative to a positive image, while having an awareness of how layering can be used to create different effects and styles.   This is almost certainly one of the workshop practices I will revisit.  Once again, my planning with this module was not as comprehensive as I’d have liked looking back, and I will address in future.

During this module I was looking at ways of recording time passing, for the time-based element. I also experimented with producing stopgap videos, using photography stills, often utilising a long exposure and moving the camera while shooting to add to the effect of time passing.  I also worked a little with plaster casting and if I had more time I would have liked to explore this process further. This added to my understanding of what may be possible using these practices, in regards to working with plaster, ideas of further creating, using carved moulds of materials like polystyrene and even cardboard or papier-mâché sealed with varnish.

Working with Stopgap utilizing long exposure photographs has led to me thinking how narrative can be instilled within these works, as well as creating works of longer duration.        

I rarely produce work I am happy with, work to further understanding myself, work that I can also take gratification in when others see it as intended and can affiliate with it in some way.  I am often looking towards the next works I will produce. This is probably the case with most of the work created during these modules, however I believe I have begun to learn some new techniques that may become part of my working practice in the future, blending my photographic and newly learnt screen-printing practices and continuing to experiment with what is possible. 

I embraced and attended all of the workshops, trying to get as much as possible from them in the moment. As I progressed, choosing to spend more time on the aspects that clicked with me focusing on screen printing and working with shadow and projection.     

I also am very much aware that my engagement with the reading lists provided is not good enough and I will endeavour to embrace this more fully in the future. Giving myself more time and adjusting my attitude towards it. Reading in general is something I struggle with and breaking this down into smaller sections will help me as opposed to looking at it as a single task.  I am frequently looking into new artists (to me) and absorbing information from visual sources, such as documentaries and other programmes about art, design, history and politics.  I want to be part of the group when learning and am always keen to share my knowledge and advice regarding others’ work and vice versa. This is very much an important part of the course for me and indeed a large factor in my choice to study.

[lucy--studies]

hi im lucy :) ⎻ Intro Post

Hello and welcome to my new studyblr!

☽ my name is Lucy, I'm almost 20 years old, and this is my studyblr! ☾

About me:

I am almost 20 years old

From Midwest America

I am going into my third year of college, majoring in graphic design

INFP, Gryffindor, Type 4

Leo sun, Aquarius moon, Gemini rising

Neurodivergent

I have been on tumblr since I was 12 and have really been lurking ever since

Constantly stuck between wanting to homestead and wanting to be a big time city gal lol

Why am I starting this blog?

I have always admired the study community, but never felt that I quite fit in with it. My life is definitely not very aesthetically pleasing and each day is a battle with keeping up with a routine because of my ADHD. Therefore, there are a few reasons as to why I am starting this blog:

Keep myself disciplined and motivated: I want to build a stronger routine in my life.

To be a relatable presence: I want to be a blog you can relate to, to show people that life isn't always perfect, social media is fake, and you don't always have to have everything together because I sure as hell don't

To be honest with myself: This will also serve as a place where I can journal and put out all of the thoughts in my head, because I feel like i'm going crazy if I don't get them out. I am creating a safe space for myself to be honest.

Hobbies:

I LOVE anything art related, whether it be art history, or anything else. My favorite period of art is impressionism/post impressionism

I'm picking up on film photography and I LOVE it sm. My university actually has a darkroom and it is my favorite thing ever.

I play the trumpet in my school's marching band

I love alternative/indie music

Im trying to get back intro reading but finding time is hard lol

I used to do a lot of theater in HS and I still love it :)

Makeup

Baking

Academics:

The past 2 years I have already taken some introductory art courses, art history courses and basic classes on adobe software and typography as well as the general education courses for my school.

This upcoming fall semester I will be taking:

Typography II

History of Graphic Design

Design Processes II

Physics

Physics Lab

Marketing

On top of this I will also be memorizing music for the marching band and I will be picking up the Korean Language again. I tried learning it a couple years back and have always admired the culture and language, but then my mental health got in the way and covid happened and so I kinda fell behind and eventually didn't have time. I got to about the intermediate stage I'd say?

Goals:

My idea is to keep each of these attainable because I have a habit of overwhelming myself lol. I have ADHD so routine is very hard for me but I am starting this blog to keep myself motivated so hopefully it helps :)

Keep a journal

Work out at least 5 times a week

finish the korean duolingo tree

(This is a bit more long-term lol) graduate Summa Cum Laude

I will also be writing down a more solid routine once I get the hang of it.

If you've made it this far here are some study buddies I admire :)

@studyquill @studylou @aquariusstudying @featheredstudies

[lexiasmind]

Obsession.

PAIRING.

Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader.

SUMMARY.

Request by @gothamlovr91​

Can you do a Dark Steve Rogers breeding kink with possessive side plz? Preferably with him hunting reader down. Since she had fled from him! ☺

A/N.

DARK AU.

Dark. ANGST. SMUT (sexual content +18, non-con, mentions of rape, breeding kink) Swearing.

Here’s my story (edited 04/04/21) made for the request by the lovely @gothamlovr91​. Don’t hesitate to leave a comment, your thoughts or feedback. I hope you will all like it and thank you for reading.

A lots of Love! Lex.xx

Stay Safe and Take Care of Yourself!

WORDS.2866ish.

°°°

" Come on pet, come out! " The Soldier yelled before chuckling under his breath. He drifted his eyes on the darkroom, his sight sharp and quick with the attempt to notice anything amiss." I know I will find you in the end, so why do you put a fight with me? Just gave up, Y/N. " He continued to shout through the room, walking slowly above the wreckage.

Sharp, broken glasses and pieces of the ceiling crushed under his boots, a faint smoke still heavy in the air. Steve Rogers moved behind the couch, his motions quiet and steady but his breath was ragged as he had quickly climbed the stairs of the Tower to meet you up here. He didn't want anything to escalate up so fast. He didn't want to set the bomb inside the Avengers' home but in his mind, you haven’t left him any choices. Nothing but to let his dark and possessive behavior being set loose. Sirens could be heard coming this way from below. Shades of blue and red faintly glowing inside the dark streets of New York City. The blond man turned on his heels eyeing the kitchen from where he stood, as he heard the faint noise of utensils moving then stopped. He smiled like a wolf finally catching his prey and started to walk toward the bright space, the faint cold wind coming from the broken windows bristled through his ripped and dirty gear behind his back.

" You know, the more you stay hidden, the more your punishment will be harsh. " Steve cried, making his steps quieter on the uneven ground. " If only you had followed my rules. I would have never done that, pet. " He added, his voice full of deception but also a once of anger.

He skirted the counter his eyes stopping on one of the cupboards under the sink. His smile grew wider as he took quieter steps toward it. Avoiding pieces of glasses on the ground.

" The next time you will spend the entire evening with another man than me, thinking of breaking up and leaving me after receiving your punishment, you will think twice about it. " Steve mumbled under his breath as his eyes never left the small door slightly ajar and covered with smoke and blood.

Fast, he took it inside his hand and opened it looking inside. But it was empty of your frame, only pots, and pans inside the small dark space. He let a loud growl escape his lips, slapping the door hard, breaking it in two by his force. Steve turned his face as he saw from the corner of his eyes shadows quickly passed behind his back.

" I will not let you run away from me. Even if it's the last thing I do. " He barked following the movement of your frame inside the large living room.

You were already inside the elevator, your finger pressing repeatedly against the button when his dark blue eyes caught you red-handed; leaving. Again. Thanks to the super serum flowing inside his veins, Steve held the door's lift who was about to close, shoving them to stand on the threshold of the engine. You backed away, scared, hurt, tears drenching your wounded cheeks as you watched your boyfriend struggling against the machine.

" Get out from this, Y/N. Now! " He cried out at you, his face wincing as he held unto the doors. His blue eyes were completely dilated, watching you pushing your back in one of the corners of the space. " N-No…" You murmured watching him frightened by his strength but also his will and determination.

You heard the wires cracking against his strength above your head, the lights, and control panel going dark.

" I will fuck you so hard for this, baby. You have no idea. " The Soldier growled while his hand was still gripping the metal doors and pushing them inside the holes. " You're gonna regret this. "

You closed your eyes, pressing your back even more inside the corner of the elevator, afraid of him and the events that had led to this. Destroying, Stark's skyscraper and killing the other Avengers in the process because of Steve's selfishness.

°°°

yesterday night;

" What were you doing? " Your boyfriend hissed under his breath gripping your arm inside a warm but tight hold between his hand. " Nothing. " You frowned being pushed backward, wincing feeling his hold on you. " I was just talking to Pietro, that's all. " You shrugged your shoulders, trying to pry on his grasp on you. " Steve you're hurting me. " You pleaded, raising your eyes to look at him.

Flaring his nose, and his face a little bit red from anger, he didn't reply. You scolded him, shaking your head as the noise from the party downstairs kept coming inside your dark bedroom.

" Jealous? Again? " You tried in disbelief, arching an eyebrow while you felt your feet moving back toward the bed, the super-soldier pushing you to it. " You promised to try and not do that again. You know I'm with you." You continued to explain trying to calm him down with a reassuring voice.

But it was of no use as you see his blue eyes darkened on you. On your body. You swallowed your nervousness and try to free your arm from his grip but he didn't bulge. Standing in front of you, the bed behind your legs, you put your palm on his chest trying to push him dreading what he had in mind for you.

" You're mine. " He mumbled in a groan, leaning his head against yours. "You're mine and I don't want you to talk to any male except me." The Soldier ordered you, his voice firm, his head hovering yours, menacing. "W-What are talking about, Steve. This is stupid. " You shook your head, fright growing inside your stomach. You tried to push him again but he wouldn't move. " S-Steve, please. You scare me. " You murmured dropping your sight on his chest. " Good. " He breathed out, enlacing you with one arm placing his hand on the small of your back. " Now you know I'm serious. I don't want you to talk to any man ever again. " The blond man repeated pushing his head against yours, his lips brushing your nose. "This, " Steve grabbed your ass roughly between his fingers, pressing your hips against him. " Is mine. "

You bit your lower lip between your teeth, feeling his hand sliding on the hem of your dress, raising the fabric upon your body, and drifting his hand between your legs. You winced feeling his finger digging between your thighs through your underwear, raising your eyes toward him, you tried to beg with your eyes. You didn't want this, especially when he was like this. Angry.

" Steve, please no. " You whispered pressing your chest against him. " I don't want to. " Tears started to gather inside your eyes, blurring your vision. " Of course you do. " He put a gentle kiss on your mouth, his fingers drifted under your panties reaching your folds, then your clit. " You're so wet for me and my cock. " His lips brushed your own while he started to circle your little bundle of nerves making you winced with pleasure but also shame and fright. " This is my little pussy."

You pressed your head against his chest, closing your eyes hard as you felt him rubbing you, preparing you for him. You tried as hard as you could hold on your tears, not wanting to be weaker than he made you be.

" I'm gonna fuck you so hard, pet. So hard and fuck a child inside you. " He whispered leaning his head inside the crook of your neck, biting your earlobe. "I want to see your belly swelled with my baby. Marking my territory inside of your pussy." He continued to murmur pushing a long finger inside your wet walls. "This is mine. " Steve grunted pumping you slowly while his thumb kept stroking your clit.

You moaned against your will, your face hid against his chest. Your body started to shook from dread? Desire? You weren’t sure. But all you knew was you didn't want to. Not now.

" Steve, no. Please. " You murmured against his body, feeling his hip grinding against you, his hard dick hitting your lower stomach. " I-I will do anything you want, just let me go. " You declared to him your voice just a whisper. " I know. " The super soldier replied removing his hand from your soaked pussy in a sharp movement, with his other hand he pushed you on the bed, your frame bouncing on the soft mattress. " But I want to see you pregnant, my pet. " He breathed ou his hands on his trouser. “ I want you to grow with my seed inside of you. “

Steve started to unzip his pants, pushing the waistline around his hips. He stroked his cock with his fingers drench with your wetness. Your dress up on around your stomach, your boyfriend was eyeing your figure hungrily, his hand rubbing his long and hard shaft. You closed your eyes feeling him lied down on your body, with one swift move he ripped your underwear and shoved his throbbing cock deep inside you.

" Oh God, you feel so good around me. " Steve growled, clenching his teeth thrusting fast inside your pussy increasing his pace quickly. " I'm gonna fill you so good. " He moaned, licking your mouth before shoving his tongue between your lips.

One hand around your cheek and his other on your hip holding you down on the bed, the movement of his tongue imitated the movement of his cock pumping you and taking everything in his wake. The tip of his dick hitting the soft spot inside your pussy making your toes curled in your heels, while tears start to freely run down on your cheeks. Breathless, Steve let his face down against your throat panting hard as he pressed kisses on your skin. Grasping his biceps, you let your body moved with him, praying it would be soon over. Small whimpers escaping your mouth here and there.

" You’re so wet, pet and s'tight. " Steve growled stroking the soft skin of your thigh

He moaned deeply thrusting faster inside your pussy sliding his fingers on your clit rubbing you fast. You let your tears drenching your face and pushed your head against the mattress behind you.

" Steve, please…" You sobbed trying for one last time, pushing him feebly. " P-Please, I understood I won't talk to anyone ever. " You murmured closing your eyes, sniffing loudly but the tears still fell on your skin. You bit your lower lips avoiding moaning as he rolled his hips against you. " No, I'm enjoying myself too much. " The Soldier moaned bracing one arm next to your head hovering your trembling body. Steve licked every salty pearl on your cheeks. " I'm gonna paint your pussy with my come making you a mommy, pet. " He murmured increasing his pace of his thrust and stroke of his hand on your button of nerves.

You closed your eyes harder, feeling your orgasm growing inside your lower stomach, you grimaced sliding your head on the mattress trying to escape his kisses but Steve Rogers will have none of it. His cock hitting your sweet spot again, again and again, your climax took hold of your frame making you arched your back, crying even more as you felt your core shattered in pieces horribly. Blissfully.

" Yeah that's right hold on my cock baby, take everything. " Steve grunted between his teeth, putting his forehead against yours. Sweat coating your bodies under the clothes, his breath was ragged.

His thrust started to become sloppier as he felt you tighten your grasp on his dick. The super soldier came, emptying his hard and throbbing cock inside your wet fold, moaning your name low, echoing inside the darkroom. His hips jerked against yours and spams took hold of his body.

" Oh, God. You're killing me, pet. " The blond man shivered, putting his body above yours and bracing his hand on each side of your head to not crush you with his weight. " Push my come inside your pussy, baby. Don't let any of it drop on our bed. " He commanded you kissing your tears away once again. Exhausted, heartbroken, and confused you let your hand dropped between bodies, stoking the base of his semi-hard dick in the process.

" That's it, my girl, being good to me. " Steve mumbled kissing your lips, his hands drifting on your lower stomach under your wrinkling dress, stroking the skin. " My baby girl will be soon with a child, showing everyone who you belong to. " He murmured brushing your mouth with his own before pressing another kiss on you.

You sobbed quietly, pressing your shaking hand against your pussy while Steve kissed you deeply his hand caressing you gently. You were a sobbing mess whose only thoughts were drifting toward the idea of leaving him. This...Monster. If only you had known.

°°°

present;

" Get out of here, Y/N! " Your boyfriend growled holding the elevator's doors, his face dirty but even in the dim light, you could see his dark eyes look out at you with rage. " Now! " " Why did you do this? " You murmured enlacing yourself, shaking your head. " How did you know- " " That you were leaving me? " He arched an eyebrow, pressing down the doors. Holding on a chuckle.

You dropped your sight on the ground, your eyes finding a piece of sharp glass at your feet. It was now or never.

" C'mon pet I'm your man and I- "

You didn't wait for him to finish his sentences and quickly took the sharp glass and plunged it on his arm. Steve taken back groaned, his eyes wide open, the wound fresh and throbbing made him back away from the threshold of the elevator. You pushed the buttons on the panel and sighed in relief when you saw the doors of the lift closing in front of your growling boyfriend his eyes dark with rage, holding on to his injury, blood soaking his pale fingers. You let your back fall against one of the corners of the space, trying to calm your breathing and think of a plan. Steve had blown the entire building, killing and injuring, people in the process for you to not leave him, he was insane. And you knew that you had to escape that before it was too late. Before he destroyed your last piece of will you were griping on it with the strength you had left. Before giving in. The doors opened with a faint noise announcing you reaching the lobby. Everything was a blur, the sirens light shadowing the wreckage, people screaming, ordering everyone to get out before everything collapse. People in uniforms; firemen, policemen even the army were there, but you didn't take the time to acknowledge anyone of them as you started to run. Running away from the building who will eventually fall, burying everyone who was still inside. Runaway from a hell.

°°°

"… We don't have more information if there are more survivors of the huge collapse of the Avenger's Tower two days ago, the authority called everyone to stay calm as they continued to look for the corpses, dead or alive of the people working that night in…"

You angrily glare at the TV, ignoring the journalist's through the screen. You put your groceries on the counter adjusting the cap on your head and avoiding looking directly at the man behind the register. It's been two all days that you were on the run, escaping your past. You pushed a huge bill on the counter and without waiting for your change turned your back, holding firmly your bag inside your hands. Pushing the door of the shop with your hips, the light wind brushing on your face, clouds on the sky, you made your way toward your car. Everything went still for a moment. Something was wrong. And then you felt it.   The tip of something on the lower of your back making you froze your steps and almost dropping your bags on the ground.

" Scream and you're dead. Understood? " The deep voice of Captain America warned you behind your back, pushing the firearm against you. He pressed his chest on your figure. " Now move toward the car and let's finally finish what we started. " He announced to you, putting a quick peck on your cheek from behind before following you.

You swallowed hard, regret and shock taking hold of your body as you made your way slowly, thinking at different scenarios for you to be free of him.

" You really thought I will abandon you? " Steve mused under his breath opening the car's front door, helping you put the bags on the front seat. "A building collapsing, the feds and government asking questions, would put us apart."

He was wearing a cap like you, his civil clothes making him almost normal but you could see the strain of the arm you injured as you he loaded the last bag inside the car. Nothing on his face was betraying the fight you had two days ago. Not a scratch, nor a scar. His blue eyes caught your afraid ones as he turned around to look at you. Determination and anger that's what motivate him, not love. There wasn't any love left for him. Only ownership.

" Now get on the back seat and stripped of your clothes, pet. " He motioned with a jerk of his head, his jaw tight and set. " Time for your punishment. "

His sight was cold of any comfort or affection; only raw desire.

°°°