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h5eavenly · 9 months ago

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Thirty-One - Wish you could stay.

warnings; smut (degrading names, fingering and thigh riding) and as always sprinkles of angst. playlist: lust for life by lana del rey

p.s pls ignore any spelling errors or grammar errors i'm a little delirious

w.c: 6k

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Time seemed to be your enemy, swearing to leave you suffering in a puddle of your own arousal. It moves agonizingly slow. Taunting you with a smirk of victory every time you looked at your phone only for it to stay the same.

“I just want us to go back to the way we used to be, you know?” Wooyoung speaks from next you, sitting side by side in one of his comfy cream colored couch. The almost empty bottle of wine on the table is the only evidence of time ever ticking by. You’re not insane just yet.

“I want that too,” you reply, not as genuine as you would like to be. Not because you didn’t want it but because your attention is stolen by another certain someone.

“But Yeosang is making it harder than I’d like.” You continue in a distant voice, eyes on the lit screen of your phone. Just 11 more minutes. Wooyoung huffs, head falling back on the couch, looking stressed enough to get a glimpse of your attention “I tried to talk some sense into him the other day. Hopefully that did something to his brain.”

“I hope so too.”

Wooyoung dawns the rest of his remaining wine, placing his empty glass right next to your full one. A comfortable silence fills the dark room and is immediately interrupting by the sound of a message coming from your phone. Your hand gravitas towards it right away.

I’m outside.

Two simple words have your heart skipping beats as if you’re on the verge of dying.

“Well, I better head home,” you announce, standing up from the couch and Wooyoung follows. Guiding you to the door with a yawn falling from his lips “Lover boy is already here?” You slap his chest with little to no impact behind it “He’s not my lover,” you defend weakly, a pink blush already coloring your cheeks.

“Uh huh,” he muses, leaning on the wall as he watches you put your shoes back on. You stay silent, letting yourself dwell over the word a little longer than what would your heart deem safe.

Lover. Could Hyunjin ever be your lover after everything you guys have been through?

“Take this it’s freezing outside.” Wooyoung voice pulls you out of your thoughts again, dangling in front of you like a hook you so desperately cling to. Just so you don’t give room for false hope to plant itself inside of you.

You look at the piece of clothing that’s being offered to you, a simple blue jacket that you have seen on Wooyoung multiple times. It reeks of his signature Dior cologne. Masculine and thick. Hyunjin’ texts from a couple of days ago swirls around in your mind, cosplays itself into temptations and dares you to take it.

Don’t you dare come out in his fucking clothes.

“Thank you.” You nod, taking the jacket from his hands and putting it on, it hangs loosely around your shoulders. Too big for you and Wooyoung grins at you.

If you were going to meet up with the devil might as well have him take you on a trip to hell.

“Take care Kitty,” his hand ruffles your hair, leaving your dark hair a mess atop of your head “you too puppy” you reply, a pinch to his cheek has him slapping your hand away with a groan.

Hyunjin is waiting outside, minho’s motorcycle that he seems to drive more than said owner is used again as leverage for him to lean on. His arms are crossed on his chest. His expression is stoic as if he himself has not been counting the minutes just to see you. As if he hadn’t come here 15 minutes early and waited for you like a kid. A twitch of his brows is the only given of annoyance he lets break free.

Hyunjin feels something akin to a monster he tried to keep locked break free inside of him. Perhaps he underestimated you, didn’t expect his angel to join in this game of push and pull you always seem to fall into. The monster feeds on the sight of you in a jacket that so clearly doesn’t belong to you, doesn’t fit you. It sinks its claw in his soul, spreading anger in his veins.

“Come here, pretty.” He taunts like the sweet devil he is, eyes narrowing as they flick to Wooyoung who’s watching you from behind. He’s being ridiculous, he realizes that. But this monster latched itself onto him like a parasite. And maybe he was a showoff, maybe he wanted to show Wooyoung how he takes back what belongs to him and that’s why he outstretched his palm out to you, offering his hand for you take.

He knows you will come to him; you always do. However, he does not expect you to run to him. He does not expect you to throw yourself at him like you’re offering, and he does not expect you to wrap your arms around his neck and hug him. The scent of wooyoung’s cologne chokes him, nausea builds quickly in the pit of his stomach. The monster tells him to rip it off you.

“Jinnie.” You breathe out in his neck, your voice is a sweet melody that manages to steal his breath every single time. He’s dizzied even when his hands fall naturally to your waist, even when he’s pulling you closer to him as if he wants to blend your bodies together. His mind is racing because you never initiated physical touch before this. All these past weeks he has been the one to touch you first, hands lingering everywhere on your body. Leaving the ghost of his fingers on your skin.

“Missed me?” he asks, voice thick with emotions and throat running dry. He needs to drink you in.

“I did,” you answer truthfully. Leaning back just enough to look up at him with a smile adorning your beautiful face. He keeps his expression cold, eyes fliting to the messy strands of your hair, another painful evidence of wandering hands that had touch you “mhm,” his fingers run through your hair, taming them back into place and you lean into his touch. Warmth spreads in your blood warning of the love threatening to poison you. You don’t listen and your nose nuzzles Hyunjin’s cheek. Behind you, Wooyoung walks back into his apartment complex with slumped shoulders.

The ride to your house is quiet, no room for words over the roaring engine of the motorcycle. You keep your palm sprawled on the right side of his chest, atop of his heart. It beats under your hand and as you’re hugging his back an overwhelmingly selfish need wash over you. You wish his heart wouldn’t beat this way for anyone aside from you. An enormous urge to steal his heart away, maybe hide it in a chest and bury it in a spot no one knows aside from you. It feels like the only way you’d ever find security.

The end was inevitable. Your time with Hyunjin was like a ticking clock casting a shadow over you, constantly reminding you of how you’re running out of time. How Hyunjin is only growing further away from you and all you could do is stand still and wait. Wait for him to someday look back at you and walk back to you. And even when he does the clock resets itself. It’s just another round of unavoidable pain for you, fuck ups that will only bury your feet deeper into this beach of sand you can’t leave. You welcome it, each time. You sacrifice your heart, pretending to be the strongest soldier of an army that only involves you. And Hyunjin will chew on your heart sweetly, sink his teeth into it until you’re bleeding and leaving you in disarray.

Just like when you’re eighteen you’ll let go of him first. He’ll cry but soon enough he’ll be walking away and just like that you go back to your place, standing alone on the beach of your memories and you wait. You wait for the clock to restart and another round of misery to unleash itself at you. But you’ll welcome it.

As if sensing your distress Hyunjin’s hand is on your thigh when you stop by a red light, Large and warm, his fingers sink into the plump flesh of your clad thigh. He looks back at you over his shoulder. The visor of his helmet deprives you of what kind of expression he’s making. He squeezes your thigh as if he knows as if he’s asking.

Are you okay?

You find yourself wishing you weren’t this mess of unspoken words, you wish weren’t this being of immense anxiety that never seems to settle down, never seems satisfied. If only you weren’t egocentric enough to constantly crave more from the boy in front of you. Your palm is on top of his, squeezing back.

I’m okay.

The street of your house is quiet and dimly lit by the countless streetlights cosplaying itself as a path, to them it’s heaven and to you it’s nothing but hell. You loiter by Hyunjin’s back, taking faux interest in the dying flowers at your front porch. Hyunjin watches you as if it’s his favorite hobby, as if he’s admiring his favorite piece of art and he isn’t in the middle of a space he doesn’t belong to. He is motionless, doesn’t say anything as if to punish you for all the little shit you pulled tonight.

Your top teeth sink into your bottom lip swallowing back a whimper of guilt that’s begging to escape. Lured by the ice in his eyes. Your fingers curl around his, your warmth overtakes him “You wanna come in?” you ask with a tilt of your head, he isn’t sure if the color in your cheeks is left there by the cold or if you’re blushing. Hyunjin pretends to think, tilts his head in a mirroring manner to yours and keeps his gaze locked on you. He stalls, eyes hooded as he watches you grow more anxious by the second. You’re fidgeting as if you’re slowly breaking, your nails start to dig into his palm leaving red marks behind. It’s so sweet, even your impatient anger is sweet.

“What about your parents?”

“They’re probably sleeping,” your stare flit across your large house, darkening windows are a comfort to your assumption “we have just to be quiet.”

Hyunjin tugs you forward with your hand, your chest collides with his and he’s so close, his lips are so close “yeah? You think you can do that?” your eyes flicker to his lips as if it’s where it was always supposed to be “can you be quiet?” he sarcastically asks, clearly not looking for an answer by the way, his lips curl into a smirk. The dampness of your underwear is only a reminder of the effect this man has on you.

“I can be quiet.” You whisper, your voice alone is enough to melt mountains of ice in his heart, but he keeps his demeanor the same. The mutual understanding of what those words exactly mean swim between you two. Tempting him to take you against the back of his motorcycle, fuck you in the open and not care if some old rich lady comes out of one those houses and calls the cops on him. Going to jail for fucking you sounds fitting.

“Sure then,” he replies with a non-committal shrug. A vagueness he hopes to have you overthinking just so he could take place in your mind.

You take him by surprise once again when you intertwine your fingers with his and tug him towards the door with a smile that’s too pretty for the situation you are in. He finds himself breathless, wondering how you manage to do it. How are you both soft and alluring. How are you the cause of the fastening oscillation of his heart and the poisons treat of his darkening desires.

Hyunjin places himself on your bed comfortably, as if he belongs there. His palms are flat on the bed as he leans back. Eyes feral and heavy as you stand by the door awkwardly as if this isn’t your room. As if you’re an intruder. Hyunjin tilts his head, his legs spreading wide apart as if it’s calling for you.

“Come here, pretty.” He whispers an order in the quietness of your room. A mischievous glint sets his dark eyes alight as the blush spreading across your face deepens.

“Take that fucking jacket off.” He snarls when you take two steps towards him. A rush of heat blooms in your underwear at his tone, fiery and dominate. You nod, eyes wide in innocence that only fuels him further. You shrug the jacket off you in quick movements. Suddenly growing exceedingly hot. The fabric burns your skin as it falls on the floor right next to your feet.

Hyunjin looks somewhat satisfied at how fast you listen to him, with his silence you take permission to walk to him. You stand before him, looking down at him through your thick lashes. Emotions fighting against each other on which one gets to display itself on your face. Love is stronger than anything you’ve ever wished to feel. Despite the growing warmth of your body, the wetness collecting uncomfortably against the fabric of your underwear. Leaving clear evidence of your hunger for Hyunjin. Love still wins, climbs on top and spreads its tenderness on your face. Its softness in the flickers of color in your eyes.

Hyunjin sees it all, basks in your ever building devotion for him, his own obsession finds its way between the cracks of your innocence and nestles itself there, promises to imprint himself on your soul just so you won’t ever look at someone the way you’re looking at him right now.

“Sit.” His large hand envelopes the side of your hip, warm and possessive as it adds unnecessary heat to your already burning body. He tugs you with a guide towards his thigh and you follow, straddling it. Your arms find their way around his neck, as if they always have waited for this moment. Waited to take their claim on the blonde boy you always seemed to yearn for.

Hyunjin’s hand travels from your hips to your hair, leaving goosebumps to bloom behind, an arch in your back that has his eyes hooded. He brushes through the soft strands of your hair taking his sweet time as you start to squirm on his lap. The pressure of his thigh against your clothed sex is driving you insane. He finds it entertaining; you can tell.

“Ah! You cry out in both pain and surprise when his hand tugs at your hair, the stinging pain spreads through your skull leaving behind a delicious wave of arousal that settles in the pit of your stomach.

“You think this is funny?” he muses, no need to explain what he’s talking about because you know. You always know. Your mouth waters at the way his mouth hardness, a betrayal of the imitation indifference he likes to wear. You shake your head, as best as you can in the hold he has on your hair. He tugs harder and you mewl, looking at him with watering eyes.

“No?” he tuts, jutting his bottom lip in a mocking pout that is quickly replaced with a knife-like stare “talk.” You let out a shaky breath, hyper aware of his hands on you, in your hair. His thigh against your cunt. Your legs shake in aching need for him.

“I-it’s not funny.” You answer with a broken whimper when his fingers loosen their grip on your strands. Leaving your body completely to resume their original position on the bed. He watches in amusement as your hands scramble to hold onto him, your nails digging in his clothed shoulders. He wishes you could dig them in his bare skin.

“You’re pathetic, you know that right?” Hyunjin scoffs, addressing your poor attempts at making him jealous, misplaced hope to get a reaction out of him. You avoid his eyes, turning your face when the eye contact only seems to water your already growing humiliation.

He slightly bounces his leg earning a breathy gasp from your parted lips, so pretty it makes him dizzy. You lose your grip on sanity, the need for him overwhelms your senses and your hips start to move against his thigh, rolling into the rough fabric between you. The sensations are so dulled by your clothes, the pressure on your core is barely there, it tips you even further into insanity.

Hyunjin chuckles, humorless and cruel. Trying to be a villain he will never be “Acting like a bitch in heat. Grinding against my thigh while I’m still talking, are you that desperate?” you shake your head, can’t make sense of what exactly you’re denying at this point. Hyunjin hums absentmindedly, his fingers thumb at the button of your shirt “What did you and Wooyoung talk about all night?” he unbuttons the first one giving you room for your breathing to deepen. Your hips increase in speed, running after a release that seems to be slipping further and further away. You whine in frustration not registering a word that has come out of his mouth.

He bounces his leg again, sending wave of shock to your core, has your hips stuttering with a soft moan. It’s cut off by his hand tapping lightly against your cheek. Not hard enough to hurt but enough to have you dripping. You open your eyes to look at his colder ones, tears of impatience cloud your vision. But not enough for them to spill.

“What?” You sputter, pink splashing across your face like spilled wine.

“What did you and Wooyoung talk about? Tell me.” He thumbs at your second button; the lace of your bra teases him with a chant to take you. Your hips halt their movement, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as to why he’s bringing this up now.

Hyunjin can’t help himself, can’t help the urge that nudges the monster inside of him any longer. Lurching forwards he buries his face in your chest, the scent of your bodywash engulfs him, washing over the disgusting cologne that had cling to your button up shirt. His hands are back on your hips, a bruising grip that guides you back and forth. Encouraging you to keep going.

“I’m being so nice, kitty. Letting you use me like this” he speaks against your skin; it vibrates through your whole being. His warm breath leaving shivers all over your body “the least you could do is answer me yeah?” he hums, placing an open mouth kissed right at the top of your breasts. Your hands tighten their grip on his shoulder, scrunching up the fabric of his grey jacket under your fingers.

“A-a lot.” You answer vaguely, stupidly hoping that it will end then. It doesn’t

“Like what?” He continues his trail of assaulting kisses up your neck, the sounds only add fuel to the fire inside of you. He sucks particularly hard at the side of your neck, and you turn your head with a mewl. Allowing him space, hoping for a mark to be left behind.

“W-we talked about- ah” he bites your earlobe with a grin, pulls it just to watch the way your eyes flutter shut prettily “about Yeosang.”

“What about him?” His tone is monotone, despite the trail of blossoming cherry blossoms he leaves on your neck. The loving touch of his hands as they climb up to your bra. Toying with the clasp. You can’t think straight you feel like everything shouldn’t feel this intense, this tortures.

“Hyunjin.” you plea.

“You’re not hiding stuff from me, are you?” he warns, his fingers expertly unclasping your bra.

“I’m not,” you whimper with a shake of your head, the cold overwhelms you, has your nipples hardening and you throw yourself forward, hugging him and burying your face in his neck. Hyunjin’s fingers dance across your back, unaware of the lie you just added to your darkening chest.

“Just said he’s sorry,” you mumble, your hips starting to grow tired. Your pussy pulses in arousal, begging for his touch.

With a hand around your hip, he flips you over, off his lap and instead your back meets the silk sheets of your bed. The scent of powder and jasmine spreads around you. Your dark hair is splayed out around you, in contrast to the white sheets. The moonlight illuminates your features. Makes the unshed tears in your sparkle like diamonds, stealing his breath away with their beauty. You’re a sight to behold, your white button up still hangs on you, and you look nothing like a human but more like an ethereal creature. An angel that has descended from heaven just for him.

Hyunjin halts his movements, hooking his leg over your body. His gaze trails over you, appreciative, and your own drinks him in. watching him with eager and big eyes. Dripping with nothing but vulnerability and adoration for him. He wonders if he’s growing addicted to your pristine vulnerability or just the existence of you, needing him.

His hand reaches for you, cupping your cheek and you, just like he had always imagined lean into his touch, turning your head to place a tender kiss to the palm of his hand. It has his heart swelling with affection in his chest. He is once again astounded by you, by the effect you have on him and by your ability to have his heart chanting your name over and over again like no other woman in this world exists. Or your ability to have his cock hard and heavy in the tight space of his boxers, like he could explode just at the sight of your hard nipples. He swipes his thumb underneath your nipple, teasing despite the dryness of his throat.

You arch your back into him. For him and Hyunjin is confused, doesn’t know if he should lean into his love or lust.

“Hyunjin please.” Your whimper, tone laced with need and desperation pulls him out of his trance. A calling to remind him that he doesn’t have to daydream about you anymore. Because the real thing is under him right now.

“Please what angel?” his tongue swipes against his bottom lip, adding misery to your already dreading torture.

“Please touch me.” Your eyes implore into his, a broken edge to your voice has satisfaction spreading its wings in his chest.

“Where do you want me to touch?” he teases with a quirk of his lips that makes you want to cry “show me,” your smaller hand circles his wrist, trailing his hand across your body. Over your chest and down your stomach leaving a burning sensation behind. He swallows when you stop his hand right at the top of your jeans. Eyes pleading for him.

“Good girl.” His voice is heavy, words almost slurring together like he could taste you in the air. Lips smacking together in a passing thought as he tugs at your jeans, it goes with ease along with your underwear.

A warmth envelope your chest at his words, spreading across your chest and hugging your heart. It’s quickly washed away by a deep embarrassment once you realize how quickly exposed you have suddenly become while Hyunjin still remains fully clothed. Despite the overflowing wetness between your legs, your need for him. You close your legs with a whimper.

Hyunjin’s hands are meticulous on your knees, ignoring your voices as he pulls them apart. His eyes are on your core, your pink cunt spread for him. Glistening and it’s perfect. Prettier than anything he ever imagined. You’re dripping on your sheets, already making a mess of yourself when he has barely touched you. It has his ego skyrocketing, licking his lips in overwhelming hunger.

You’re such a mess, his mess.

“you’re so wet angel,” you whine, embarrassed by the fact that he isn’t doing anything, that he just stills and stares you down. Drowning you in his cold torture. Your hands come to cover your face unable to keep eye contact. Despite his disapproval he doesn’t tell you to do otherwise. His cold finger trails over your drenched folds, collecting your wetness with the pad of his finger. Your body attempts to chase after him, clenching around nothing in anticipation. Hyunjin pushes your hips down, bringing his finger to his mouth and keeps his hooded eyes on you that is peeking at him through your hands.

He moans at your taste, eyes rolling back. It has your chest heaving; your hands fall from your face at the way he crumbles so easily for you “You taste so good baby.” His tone lowers into a whisper, igniting the fire building inside of you once again.

“Please jinnie,” you find yourself begging once again, not sure for what exactly. For him, for anything to settle you down. Your face crumbles pleadingly when he keeps staring at you like he’s not in a rush, like he has all night. And that was all what it took for your frustration to finally snap. Collecting itself into tears in your eyes and the spill slowly over your cheeks. You’re overwhelmed yet not feeling anything enough, it only fuels him further, sends him right into the lap of the monster that seems to feed off your tears.

“Shh it’s okay,” Hyunjin collects your tears with the pad of his fingers, tone conceding in comparison to the softness that lingers in his touch. His fingers trail down to your plush lips, prodding them open “suck.” His half-lidded eyes stare back down at you and you comply. Tongue swirling around his fingers.

Hyunjin feels his jeans grow tighter around him as if that was possible. The sight of your tear-streaked face with his fingers in your mouth almost has him coming right then. He wishes he had his phone right now, take a pretty picture of you and save it for later.

“Such a good slut for me, aren’t you?” he preens inside when you nod your head incessantly, moaning around his fingers as if they were a strawberry flavored lollipop. Spit drips down the side of your lips and Hyunjin leans down, licking it.

Pulling his drenched fingers from your tempting mouth, he trails them down to your pussy, his thumb pressing into your clit, unmoving.

“You want it?” he whispers right on top of your lips, inches away and kisses at a tear that manages to escape your eyes “I-I want it,” you whimper, your breath fanning over his face. He keeps his eyes on you, fliting across your feature when he finally, finally lets his finger slip inside of you. He growls lowly at how wet you are, at the way your hole swallows his finger hungrily. You moan loudly, head thrown back as your own fingers tangle themselves into his blonde locks.

“More.” You plead; your breathing deepens as your hips rock back against his fingers in desperation. He complies, slipping two more fingers. The stretch burns so good, has your mouth falling agape in a silent moan. Eyebrows knitted and lashes fluttering. He’s completely enamored by you. By your sounds, your reaction. His own breathing uneven, matching yours. He can’t look away, can’t dare to miss the sweat rolling down your forehead.

“Feels good?” his noses along your cheek, his fingers start moving faster and deeper inside of you. It turns your brain to mush, has you melting right into your sheets. Your tongue forgets its purpose and you’re unable to say anything back as if your words have been stolen away by him. You only nod with a mewl, you rock feverishly against his fingers, your orgasm building at the speed of light.

His gaze is dark upon you, watching you lose your sanity for him has him drowning in his own lust, cock heavy between his legs. It burns a hole on the right side of your face.

“You’re gonna come?” his voice more than a whisper yet it manages to tighten the knot forming in your tummy “please,” he doesn’t even need to tell you to beg, you just do it. Desperate for the release you’ve been waiting for.

“You think you deserve it?” you sob, more tears rolling down your pink cheeks, you’re so close so close to falling apart, you could taste it on your tongue “please I’m sorry” you pathetically mutter, grabbing at whatever words your brain throws at you in hope that it will redeem your mishaps, in hope that it will soften Hyunjin’s heart. He chuckles lowly, impressed by how pathetic you sound when he hasn’t even fucked you yet. He still decides to be merciful “come for me, princess.” His voice clear and deep.

You throw your head back, mouth completely open and your core tightens around his fingers. Pleasure washes over your entire body as you come with a loud whine. A sweet song he listens to religiously. He wishes to burn the sight of you coming into his brain, he needs to record it, wants to reply it over and over again. The need overwhelms him, his throat growing dry as he stares at you trying to catch your breath.

You stare back, the eye contact makes your face burn. Your fingers brush at hairs at the nape of his neck, your nose bumps into his chin “thank you.” You mumble sweetly, airy. He thumbs at the abandoned tears at the corner of your eyes. His lips gravitas towards your own and the lust swimming in you dissipates, replaced with a silent desperation for his kiss. You lean closer to him, hoping for him to close the distance, for him to end another misery of yours that only exists because of him.

He lingers, stares at you as if he’s searching for the truth behind the blatant lies you spill endlessly.

“Y/N?” both of you freeze, the bubble of arousal and overwhelming loving explodes abruptly around you. The sound of your mother has your eyes widening “Y-Yes mommy?” you call back, Hyunjin shakes his head at you in confusion and you shrug.

“What’s going on? I heard voices.” Your heart picks up speed in panic, you push Hyunjin off from on top of you and he goes with ease. Eyes comically wide in terror. You quickly discard the shirt on you to the floor, grabbing one of your robes and wrapping it around yourself.

“Wait for me.” You mouth to Hyunjin who only nods back, seeming to be in a daze. You unlock your door, walking out and closing it behind you to see your mom’s figure down the dark corridor “What are you doing?” She questions, hair ruffled and voice thick with sleep. You stare at her dumbfoundedly. Grateful for the dark as it helps you conceal the aftermath of your orgasm “Nothing.”

“Why are you awake? It’s 3 am” her tone is suspicious, eyes flickering to your closed bedroom door “I was asleep, but I had a nightmare that’s all.” Your lie is childlike, you realize and maybe if your mom wasn’t so sleepy she would have caught on but that along with the faux indifference in your tone seem enough to convince her. She nods at you and mumbles something about going back to sleep. You let out a breath of relief when she turns around and walks away.

“Sorry about that. She’s gone.” You say to Hyunjin once you’re in your room, closing your door behind you and locking it. His eyes flicker between your hand and your face, a smile on his face. So charming it has you falling in love all over again. You wonder how many times is it possible to fall for the same person.

He’s sitting by the edge of your bed, legs spread open like an earlier scene “it’s okay.” He assures you and you swallow back nothing. Throwing yourself into your bed, face down. you huff.

Hyunjin chuckles, it vibrates through the walls of your heart. Pulling at your heartstrings.

“Sorry we couldn’t… you know.” You trail off awkwardly, peeking at him with the corner of your eyes and he shakes his head dismissively “It’s okay. I’m not fond of fucking you when your parents are down the hall.” His hand is in your hair, brushing strands away from your face. He doesn’t want anything to block you from watching him. He wants to be able to watch you back, when you’re moaning and when you’re tired, falling into a rare kind of softness.

You try not to think about the fact that those same fingers were inside you not long ago, it has your thighs clenching together and you chastise yourself for your endless hunger.

“Why did you not want to hang out with us today? Was it because of Yeji?” You don’t expect him to speak and when he does you don’t expect it to be this. An ember of curiosity swims in his eyes. This is a forwardness in this Hyunjin that you’re not used to. You were used to the old Hyunjin, the avoidant Hyunjin. The one you used to have an endless game of mouse and cat with.

You’re almost bitter at the fact he changed and you haven’t.

“Partly.” You lie through your teeth, sitting back next to him and his body welcomes you. Molds itself to make space for you “why do you hate her? Did something that I’m unaware of happen between you?”

Hate. Such a strong word that you wish to plaster on every feeling coursing through your body. You wish for it to be this easy. But it isn’t and anything you feel is nowhere close to hate.

“I don’t hate her. She just makes me uncomfortable.” You pull another lie, opening up another chest to bury this one in. One isn’t enough anymore. The mountain of unspoken words only seems to grow bigger between you.

“Do you think you could try next time? For me?” he hums, a hand cradling your cheek in a sweet manner, like a sweet lover you will never get the chance to have. Your time with him will run out before then.

“I want you guys to get along.” He adds and his tone is gentle, soft and more than anything hopeful. You blame him for your endless lies that seem to tumble out whenever you’re around him “Okay.” Hyunjin smiles and leans down to place a kiss to your cheek “Thank you, pretty.” You keep silent, leaning your head on his shoulder. Silence fills the room and Hyunjin fingers play with yours. You drown in your misery, guilt seeps into your blood and you wonder if being in love would ever be good enough of a defense against your malicious acts. When they finally catch up with you, what kind of betrayal would Hyunjin wear? when he finds out who you really are. When he unravels the ugliness, you hide.

How long do you have till then?

“I wish you could stay with me forever Hyunjin.” You don’t look up to see the softness that breaks into his features, the hopeful glint you had killed when you were eighteen is there again.

“Me too Angel.” He says back so easily.

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Taglist: @annybah , @christopherisfoive , @realrintaro , @kkamismom12 , @nujeskz , @wolfietara , @luvvvash , @pnkcasket, @asiixc , @shyshyshytwice , @samhomo , @babrieeee , @nhyunn , @enzstr , @idontlikecoffeeortea , @feelikecinderella , @not-very-slay-of-you , @linocvp1d , @amarecerasus , @itgirlalisaa , @babrieeee , @arikazu , @hyundumpling , @skzhoes , @cupkiki , @avokralaim , @hyunenenenenennenenehs , @super-btstrash-posts , @mellhwang , @kaiyaba , @hyunjinloverrrr , @finnbbl , @rockyhedgehog , @heyhaez , @anjian03 , @jihanniee

(bold can't be tagged please remember to check your settings so i can tag you!)

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