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REVIEW
Warriorâs Hope by Rebecca Zanetti
Dark Protectors #16
Growing up knowing you are the key to a prophecy and that your choices impact an entire realm â or more â making decisions about what direction to take and what man to choose is a big choice to make. Hopeâs story and who she ends up with has been awaited through the reading of several books. She has spent time with Libby, Paxton, and dream-time with Drake of the Kurjan Nation. She feels her âtimeâ has arrived and is ready to take that final step to keep her realm safe, believes she knows what that step is, and thenâŚwonders if she is right or got things wrong.
I was looking forward to finding out how this segment of the story and the prophecy was handled and did find out although I had a bit of letdown. I am not sure if it was Hope being so âyoungâ and seeming rather immature or that one character became even darker than he had leaned previously, or something else. I had a feeling, after the last book, that I knew which man Hope would end up with but still wanted to find out for sure.
This book provides the answer of which man, Drake or Paxton, Hope will be mated to, gives a hint of the work she and her mate will face in the future, if there are more books that they show up in. And my guess is that there will be more books as there were plenty of loose ends left to tie up if the author chooses to stay with this series. What loose ends? Well, enhanced women have a blood issue, the Kurjan Nation has a lot of repair work to be done by their new king and queen, and there are issues I wonder about like the Seven and what they will do nowâŚand then all of the OTHER realms and beings and such.
The author mentioned 21 books written in this world though this is book 16 in the Dark Protectors Series. The books donât have to be read in order but this book would benefit from knowing the backstory of Hope, Paxton, and Drake.
Did I enjoy this book? Not as much as I thought I would
Will I read more by this author? If the synopsis appeals â yes
Rating: 3 overall
Enjoyment: 2-3
5 because it needed to be written
Averaged to: 3
Thank you to NetGalley and Kensington Lyrical Press for the ARC â this is my honest review.
BLURB
An explosive love triangle comes to its passionate conclusion and decides the fate of battling nations in award-winning and New York Times bestselling author Rebecca Zanettiâs Dark Protectors . . . As the only female vampire ever born, and the heir to two powerful immortal families, Hope Kayrs-Kyllwood has always felt the weight of fate and destiny. Now her heart is torn between two men and two different futures. Itâs a choice between duty and love, peace and war, with the fate of everyone she loves hanging in the balance. As the leader of the Kurjan nation, Drake has always known that mating Hope is the best path to avoiding war. Heâs counting on her to know the same. . . . Paxton has been Hopeâs best friend and protector since they were children. He would kill and die for her without a second thought. In fact, heâs always known that would be his path . . . With deadly factions at her heels, Hope must decide whom to trust and where her loyalty liesâbefore the choice is taken away from her . . .
#Rebecca Zanetti#Kensington Books#Lyrical Press#Paranormal#romance#fantasy#fiction#dark protectors 16
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Serendipity Masterlist!
series status: ongoing
summary: it was only meant to be a purely transactional relationship. he would help her strengthen her abilities in return for her getting his friends out of his father's nasty path. he didn't mean to fall for her, but loving her was the easiest thing in his dark world.
âserendipity is the phenomenon of discovering something interesting or valuable by chanceâ
pairings: mattheo riddle x fem!ravenclaw reader; platonic!slytherins x fem!reader; platonic!golden trio x fem!reader
no use of Y/N, but your general nickname is Meadow. All characters are aged up to be over 18. and Bellatrix isn't Mattheo's mother in this fic (just fyi)
general warning(s): 18+ content, angst, fluff, some canon compliance, some canon divergence, typical wizarding world violence, war, torture, drugging, hospitals, familial problems, mean!harry, mean!ron....
** indicates smut warning
~â~ chapter one
chapter summary: on the trainride to your sixth year, your friends give you a proposition that you can't refuse.
~â~ chapter two
chapter summary: it's your first day back as a sixth year student. Classes are more intense and your first lesson with Mattheo ensues.
~â~ chapter three
chapter summary: the first Hogsmeade trip of the year has a rather unpleasant ending.
~â~ chapter four
chapter summary: after you end up confined to the Hospital Wing, you're surprised when Professor Dumbledore pays you a visit.
~â~ chapter five
chapter summary: Mattheo has been avoiding you. You find and confront him after a frustrating week.
~â~ chapter six **
chapter summary: the growing tension between you and Mattheo snaps. He reveals something about yourself that you has scarcely any prior knowledge of.
~â~ chapter seven
chapter summary: joyful dinner parties and a switch in point of view. Two juxtaposing starts to the christmas holidays.
~â~ chapter eight **
chapter summary: you're given plenty of revelations: all equally as daunting as the other.
~â~ chapter nine
chapter summary: Ginny ambushes you in the library and Ron's birthday is off to a delirious start.
~â~ chapter ten
chapter summary: in the aftermath of Ron's poisoning, Harry learns a thing or two about where your loyalties lie when he overhears your private conversation with the headmaster.
~â~ chapter eleven
chapter summary: intent on avoiding him, you underestimate just how desperate Mattheo is to be around you.
~â~ chapter twelve
chapter summary: new friendships are formed and you finally learn to control your abilities. Mattheo comes to a life altering realisation.
~â~ chapter thirteen **
chapter summary: idk how to summarise this but i will say it's pure smut...enjoy
~â~ chapter fourteen
chapter summary: friendships are rekindled and you save Draco from certain death in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, igniting your powers in the process.
~â~ chapter fifteen
chapter summary: now fully recovered, Draco has a task to complete. The fate of the Wizarding World hangs in the precipice of his actions.
~â~ chapter sixteen
chapter summary: after a startling and gutting discovery. secrets are revealed and alliances are questioned as Voldemort's tyranny begins to fester into the beginnings of another war.
*invisible string fits into the plot here!!*
~â~ chapter seventeen
chapter summary: Dumbledore's funeral reveals new allies as you navigate a world without its protector.
~â~ chapter eighteen
chapter summary: with his new role as a secret spy of the Order, Mattheo begins to grapple with the consequences of the horrors that occur at his father's hand.
~â~ chapter nineteen
chapter summary: there's a spy in The Order and you make a decision that Mattheo is vocally against in every way.
~â~ chapter twenty
chapter summary:
series oneshots/headcannons:
~â~ tulips & starlight â valentines day drabble
~â~ serendipity hcs (mattheo) â a glimpse at his life pre sixth year
~â~ invisible string â bonus scene from chapter 16 **
~â~ snippets of navigating fifth year with fred weasley
series taglist:
message me or comment to be added :)
all works are my own (2025Šď¸weasleyreidstyles), do not copy, translate or repost.
#mattheo riddle x reader#serendipity series#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle x you#harry potter#ravenclaw x slytherin#theo nott#hermione granger#slytherin boys#pansy parkinson#ron weasley#theodore nott x reader#mattheo riddle smut#ginny weasley x reader#fred weasley x reader#x reader series#half blood prince#blaise zabini#enzo berkshire#harry potter x reader#hermione granger x reader
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Charles Leclerc (16)
Little Sunshine
He won in Monaco,he wins in Monza
The birthday disaster
Hospital nights
In the Grip of Obsession
Under the Spotlight
Leclerc family dinner
Leclerc summer
Bound by Obsession
One day in Mexico
A Day on the Riviera
Obsession
The Court is yours
A new chapter
Independent, but Loved
Coming Home to Monaco
Composing Love
Nothingâs scary when I'm with you
The Nurse and her Racer
Carlos Sainz (55)
Hot Laps
Hyperactive night's
Goddess
Dancing through the night
Her protector
Max Verstappen (33)
Pride and Prejudice
Just a dream
A Birthday for a queen
Forbidden Love
Keeping her away
Lewis Hamilton (44)
Daddy's little love
Moments Like These
Dark Red
A father's comfort
Puppy love
A Loving Night In
The greatest titel of them all
Love has no age
George Russell (63)
Through sickness and health
Brasil, o quanto eu amo
Lando Norris (4)
Little Norris
The Brit and the Croissant
In my arms
Golden
Proud big brother
Big Brother to the Rescue
Big Brother to the Rescue Part 2
Stealing her attention
Behind the screen
Lights, Camera and Flashes
Feverish and Clingy
Different Love Languages, Same Love
Oscar Piastri (81)
The quiet kind of love
Secret marriage
The Piastri family
A silent connection
Ride or Die
Pierre Gasly (10)
The Brit and the Croissant
Learn his lesson
Oliver Bearman (87)
Two for One
Schoolboy-Crush
Vegas weeding
The Ollie effect
Driver!reader
The RedBull Princess
The first victory
Just Ken
Obvious (team principal reader)
The boyfriend
Broken arm
Blood runs thicker than Water
Rain
Umbrella
F1's Darling
The Heat of Qatar
The greatest prank of all time
Princess of Qatar
#charles leclerc x reader#carlos sainz x reader#max verstappen x reader#daniel riccardo x reader#oscar piastri x reader#lewis hamilton x reader#george russell x reader#lando norris x reader#xoxo babygirl đ#pierre gasly x reader#driver!reader#fernando alonso x reader#oliver bearman x reader
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Legacy (contingency)
- Summary: Tywin was the man who saved you from Robert's wrath. He was also the man who doomed you.
- Pairing: targ!reader/Tywin Lannister
- Rating: Mature 16+
- Previous part: dragonfire
- Next part: dragonstone
- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @oxymakestheworldgoround @luniaxi @alkadri-layal
Rich banners of crimson and gold draped from the high vaulted ceilings of the Great Hall, the sigil of House Lannister roaring above the gathering. The long tables overflowed with food: roasted boar glazed in honey, fragrant spiced wine, golden loaves of bread, and sweetcakes decorated with little sugar lions. Music filled the airâa lively tune played by minstrels whose strings and pipes accompanied the hum of conversation and laughter.
At the center of it all sat King Tommen Baratheon, his crown polished to perfection, seated proudly at the head of the royal table. Beside him, Queen Margaery looked radiant in a gown of green silk embroidered with golden roses, her bright smile lifting the mood of the hall. To Tommen's left sat Cersei Lannister, though her face was a mask of cold disinterest as she stared pointedly at her cup of wine, refusing to so much as glance toward her twin brother Jaime, who stood behind the king as his sworn protector.
Farther down the hall, the laughter of ladies mingled with the squeals of a happy child.
You stood near the far end of the hall, where a small play area had been set up for your son. Damon, now a year old, was surrounded by noblewomen who cooed and fussed over him as if he were the very center of the world. He sat on a plush blanket, his chubby hands reaching for the wooden lion and dragon toys set before him. His silver-gold hair shone under the light of the great chandeliers, and his bright eyes sparkled with curiosity as he looked from one lady to the next.
âMy, but heâs a handsome little boy,â cooed Lady Tanda Stokeworth, bending down slightly to smile at Damon. âAnd clever, too, Iâm sure.â
âVery clever,â agreed Lady Falyse, her hands clasped before her. âHe has his motherâs eyes, but I daresay the strength of his father will be in him as well.â
âAnd the fire of a dragon,â added Lady Taena of Pentos, her dark curls spilling elegantly over her shoulders as she smiled warmly. âThe realm will speak of him for generations to come.â
âEnough fluttering about,â came the sharp voice of Lady Olenna Tyrell, who sat nearby, cane resting against her chair. âYouâll have him thinking heâs a lord before he can even string a full sentence together.â
The ladies fell silent momentarily, though some tittered softly behind their hands as they moved away. You sat down beside Damon, brushing a hand gently over his soft hair as he giggled, delighting in the attention heâd received. âIt seems youâre already a favorite,â you murmured with amusement.
Olenna sniffed, though there was a faint, approving smile on her lips. âThatâs the way of things with babes and dragons. Give them a pretty face and a silver mane, and everyone flocks to them like flies to honey.â Her gaze softened faintly as she looked at Damon. âBut he is a fine boy, Iâll grant you that.â
Damon responded by dropping his wooden lion and reaching for his dragon toy, gnawing happily on its tail. You smiled faintly, brushing your fingers over his chubby cheeks. âHeâs my heart,â you said softly.
âLetâs hope he has a good head on his shoulders, then,â Olenna remarked, though her tone was lighter. âHeâll need it, surrounded by spiders and vipers alike.â
You looked across the hall, your gaze landing on Tywin Lannister, who stood tall near the royal table. The Lord of Casterly Rock looked as proud and imperious as ever, his crimson and gold doublet immaculate, his presence commanding the respectâor fearâof every lord who circled him. They spoke in hushed tones, each vying for his attention, trying to curry favor with the lion who now had a dragon under his roof. Tywin listened with polite indifference, his face betraying none of the irritation he no doubt felt at the incessant politicking.
You caught his eye across the hall, and for a fleeting moment, his gaze softened ever so slightly as he looked at you and Damon. He inclined his head a fraction, a silent acknowledgment of the family he had builtâa momentary respite from the endless droning of opportunistic lords.
Nearby, Varys, the ever-watchful Spider, lingered in the shadows. His gaze flicked toward the small gathering where you sat with Damon, his expression unreadable. It was no secret that Varys knew more than most, and the way his eyes lingered on your son made your stomach tighten with unease. You had no doubt the whispers of Damonâs first nameday would soon travel across the Narrow Sea and beyond.
At the royal table, Tommenâs young laughter rang out as he watched one of the performers juggle apples. Margaery leaned close to him, smiling warmly as she spoke softly, no doubt ensuring the boy king enjoyed the celebrations.
Cersei, however, sat rigid, her fingers curled tightly around the stem of her goblet. Her face was pale with irritation, her lips pursed as she stared at nothing. When she finally spoke, it was low and bitter, though loud enough for those nearest to hear.
âA feast for a babe,â she sneered. âOne would think we were crowning him king.â
Margaery smiled sweetly, not missing a beat. âPerhaps we celebrate because it is a moment of joy, Your Grace. Something rare and precious in these times.â
Cersei turned a cold glare on Margaery, though she said nothing more, her expression souring further when her gaze landed briefly on Jaime, who stood silently behind Tommen, his golden hand resting lightly on the pommel of his sword. He offered her no support, no comfort, his eyes fixed instead on the room at large, detached and quiet.
âYour Grace,â said Varys softly, suddenly at Cerseiâs side, his voice as silken as ever. âThe realm rejoices at unity, no matter how small the occasion.â
Cersei looked at him sharply. âAnd what unity do you see, Spider? The kind bought with dragons?â
Varys offered his smooth, enigmatic smile and said nothing, his gaze drifting briefly to where Damon sat.
Across the hall, Tywin watched the exchange with the faintest flicker of disdain in his eyes, though his mask of control never slipped. He turned his attention back to the lords surrounding him, his tone clipped and final. âEnough of this,â he said coldly, brushing them aside as he moved away.
He approached you and Damon, his steps measured and deliberate, cutting through the murmurs of those who watched him move. When he stopped before you, Damon immediately looked up, his bright eyes wide as he recognized his father. He cooed happily, waving his dragon toy as though offering it to Tywin.
The corners of Tywinâs mouth twitched ever so slightly as he regarded his son. âHe grows quickly,â he said, his tone softening just enough that only you noticed.
You smiled faintly, lifting Damon into your arms. âToo quickly,â you replied, brushing a kiss against the boyâs head. âSoon heâll be running through these halls, terrorizing everyone.â
âI expect nothing less,â Tywin replied, his gaze lingering on the boy before shifting back to you. âThe feast is a success.â
âFor you, perhaps,â you teased lightly. âThe lords seem eager to bow before the man who holds a dragonâs leash.â
Tywinâs expression turned cold, though his words were measured. âA dragon bows to no one. But appearances must be maintained.â
You glanced toward Varys, who still watched quietly from the shadows. âAnd the whispers?â
Tywinâs jaw tightened slightly. âLet them whisper. Whispers are meaningless unless we let them become something more.â
You nodded, though a flicker of unease remained in your chest. For now, though, you pushed it aside as Damon squirmed in your arms, reaching out toward Tywin with chubby hands.
Tywin hesitated for the barest moment before extending a hand, allowing Damonâs small fingers to curl around his thumb. It was a brief gesture, but one that spoke volumes. The Great Lion of Lannister stood proud, the boy in your arms his legacy, his triumph.
And as the hall rang with laughter, music, and the clinking of goblets, you allowed yourself to smile. For tonight, at least, the future felt secure.
The air in the Red Keepâs halls had grown cooler as the feast carried on in the Great Hall, but here, in the shadowed passageways away from the celebration, the silence was heavy. The distant echoes of music and laughter barely carried this far, and the flickering torchlight did little to soften the cold stones of the castle walls.
Cersei Lannister walked with purpose, her gown trailing behind, though her movements were sharp, her face still drawn with irritation. Her goblet of wine, long emptied, dangled carelessly from her fingers as she turned a corner and found Jaime Lannister where she expected him: standing near an open window, his white Kingsguard cloak a stark contrast to the gloom. The faint breeze tousled his hair as he leaned one elbow against the stone ledge, staring out toward the darkening sky.
âYou always find the quiet places,â Cersei remarked, her voice breaking the stillness as she approached.
Jaime turned his head slightly, though he didnât look at her. âPerhaps I prefer them,â he said simply, his tone disinterested.
She frowned faintly, stopping a few paces away from him. âYou missed half the feast.â
âAnd yet,â Jaime replied dryly, finally turning to face her, âyou followed me here. Did the wine run out already?â
Cerseiâs face tightened, though she ignored the jibe. âNo. But youâve sulked long enough tonight. Or is it that you can no longer stomach these celebrations?â
Jaime exhaled through his nose, his green eyes sharp as they met hers. âIs it sulking to prefer the quiet over the spectacle?â
Cerseiâs lip curled faintly. âAnd yet you remain, standing guard over Tommen like a dutiful knight. Always at a distance, always watching.â
Jaimeâs expression didnât change. âI do what I must.â
âAnd is that why you say nothing?â Cersei shot back, her tone edged with frustration. She stepped closer, dropping the empty goblet onto the stone ledge with a hollow clink. âYou stand there, silent and cold, while Dorne sends me nothing but empty words. âMyrcella is well.â Those are their only replies to my ravens. No assurances. No promises.â
Jaimeâs eyes narrowed slightly, though his voice remained calm. âAnd you think I have the answers? You were the one who sent her there.â
âShe was safer in Dorne than in Kingâs Landing!â Cersei snapped, though her words lacked the conviction they once carried. âFather would not listen, you wouldnât listenâno one would listen to me.â
Jaime shifted, his gold hand resting lightly against the stone ledge. âAnd now you want me to do what? March to Dorne and demand Myrcellaâs return? Or simply assuage your guilt?â
Cersei flinched, though she masked it quickly with anger. âI donât need your lectures, Jaime. I need your support.â
Jaime looked at her long and hard, the silence stretching between them like a chasm. âSupport for what, Cersei? Myrcella is well, or so weâre told. If something had happened to her, you would know.â
âAnd what if they lie?â Cersei pressed, her voice quieter now but no less fervent. âWhat if Doran Martell sends nothing because heâs toying with us? He despises our houseâdo you think he has forgotten Oberyn?â
Jaimeâs jaw tightened slightly. âWhat I think is that worrying aloud will not change anything.â
Cersei glared at him, her frustration bubbling to the surface. âYou sound just like Father.â
Jaimeâs lips pressed into a thin line at that, but he didnât rise to her bait. Instead, he turned his gaze back out toward the night sky, his voice low. âIf you have nothing to say beyond paranoia and blame, then perhaps you should return to the feast.â
Cersei stepped forward, the shadows deepening around her. âDo you remember, Jaime?â she asked, her voice quieter now. âDo you remember our own namedays?â
Jaimeâs brow furrowed slightly, though he didnât turn to look at her. âWhy bring that up?â
âBecause Father never threw us feasts,â Cersei replied bitterly, her tone carrying the weight of old wounds. âNot after Mother died. There were no celebrations, no music. Just silence, year after year, as though we didnât matter.â
Jaime finally looked at her then, his expression softening slightly. âYou know why.â
âBecause he couldnât bear the memory,â Cersei answered, her voice sharp. âBut what of us? We were children, Jaimeâchildren who wanted to be seen. To be celebrated.â
Jaime studied her carefully now, his face unreadable. âWhat are you implying, Cersei?â
Cersei took a breath, her voice trembling ever so slightly. âDo you not find it curious that our father throws such a grand feast for his new son? Yet for us, there was nothing. Nothing.â
Jaime shook his head faintly, though his voice was tinged with exasperation. âYouâre reaching for something that isnât there. Damon is a babe; he means the world to his mother, and through her, to Father. That is all.â
Cersei stepped closer, her eyes blazing. âNo, Jaime. Itâs more than that. Canât you see? That dragonâher dragonâflew across the Narrow Sea to her. To her. And Fatherâour fatherâstands at her side as though she were his queen, as though she has replaced us.â
Jaime stared at her for a long moment, his features hardening. âAnd what would you have me do about it? Challenge her? Challenge him?â
Cerseiâs gaze flickered with something desperate, something unspoken. âYouâre the only one who listens, Jaime.â
Jaimeâs shoulders sagged slightly as he looked at her, his voice low and tired. âI donât know what you want from me, Cersei. But whatever it is, I canât give it to you.â
Cerseiâs lips parted, as though she might say more, but the words died on her tongue. For once, her twin brother had no answer for her, no comfort to offer. Jaime turned away again, his gaze drifting back to the distant lights of the city.
âGo back to the feast,â he said softly. âTommen needs his mother.â
Cersei stood still for a moment longer, her hands trembling slightly at her sides. Then, with a sharp exhale, she snatched up the goblet sheâd abandoned and turned on her heel, the silk of her gown trailing behind her as she stalked back into the shadows of the corridor.
Jaime remained where he was, alone beneath the stars, his expression etched with something far darker than silence.
The sounds of the feast began to ebb and swell like the sea, the lively music and laughter punctuating the occasional clinking of goblets and roar of cheer. Yet away from the revelry, in a quieter alcove of the Great Hall, Tywin Lannister stood tall and still, his expression as unyielding as the walls of the Red Keep. Lords and sycophants continued to circle near him like moths to flame, eager to curry favor or win a moment of his time.
But when the soft, measured footsteps of Varys approached, the subtle murmur around Tywin dissipated, as though even the air itself sensed the Spiderâs presence.
Tywinâs stren green gaze flicked toward Varys, who approached with a serene smile and hands tucked neatly within the folds of his flowing lavender robes. The Master of Whisperers stopped a respectful distance away and inclined his head. âMy lord,â he said smoothly, his voice as silken as ever. âCongratulations are in order, I believe.â
Tywinâs face betrayed nothing, though there was a faint narrowing of his eyes as he studied the eunuch. âAnd what congratulations do you offer, Lord Varys?â
âFor your sonâs first nameday, of course.â Varysâs smile didnât falter as he tilted his head. âYoung Damon is a remarkable boyâstrong and spirited, like his parents.â His gaze briefly flickered across the hall to where Damon sat on your lap, still surrounded by noblewomen and cooing servants. âThe realm watches him closely, my lord. A lion born under the shadow of a dragon. It makes for an extraordinary tale.â
Tywinâs lips curled faintly, though it was more a tightening of his mouth than a smile. âThe realm has a penchant for tales,â he said curtly. âI deal in truths.â
âIndeed,â Varys replied smoothly. âAnd it is truths that bring me to you now, my lord. Truths carried across the Narrow Sea, where the fires of another dragon burn.â
Tywin turned his full attention to the Spider then, his presence looming even more than before. âSpeak plainly, Varys. Iâve little patience for riddles tonight.â
Varys inclined his head once more. âVery well. It seems your younger son, Tyrion Lannister, is alive.â
The words landed like a stone dropped into a still pond. Though Tywinâs face remained unreadable, there was a sharpness to his posture, a flicker of something dangerous in his eyes. âAlive,â he repeated, his voice low and cold. âAnd where?â
âIn Essos,â Varys said softly, as though revealing the answer to a carefully guarded secret. âTo be more specific, he is now serving as an advisor to your wifeâs younger sister, Daenerys Targaryenâthe Queen of Meereen.â
Tywin was silent for a long moment, his piercing gaze fixed on Varys as though trying to unearth the depths of his machinations. âShould I believe you had nothing to do with his escape, Varys?â Tywin asked at last, his voice a blade honed to perfection. âOr with this news?â
Varysâs smile never wavered, though there was a faint flicker of amusement in his pale, watchful eyes. âI would be lying, my lord, if I claimed to be entirely blameless. I may have⌠facilitated certain circumstances during his escape from the capital. After all, chaos often creates opportunity.â
Tywinâs jaw tightened, though his voice remained measured. âYouâve spent your life weaving webs, Spider. I wonder how much of this one is yours.â
âI assure you, my lord,â Varys replied calmly, âTyrionâs path has been his own. I merely find it curious how Lannisters are so often drawn to flame. First you, with your Targaryen bride and her dragon⌠and now your younger son, whispering counsel to her sister.â
Tywinâs expression darkened, the weight of Varysâs words settling heavily between them. âWhat is your aim in telling me this?â
âMy aim?â Varys echoed softly, his voice feigning innocence. âMy aim is only to keep you informed, my lord. Knowledge, as you well know, is power.â
Tywin regarded him with a cold intensity, his mind already working through the implications. âA Targaryen queen rising in Essos is no secret. But Tyrionâs involvement complicates matters.â
âAs it often does,â Varys replied with a faint smile. âYour son has always had a penchant for surviving where others would not. And now, it seems, he has aligned himself with a queen who bears the blood of Old Valyria and speaks of reclaiming the Iron Throne.â
Tywinâs eyes narrowed. âDaenerys Targaryen is a child playing at power. Her sister has proven far more pragmatic.â
âPerhaps,â Varys said mildly, âbut the young queen across the sea has grown formidable. Her dragons are a little bigger than Viserion, and with Tyrion at her side, her ambitions gain focus.â
Tywinâs gaze turned icy. âThen it will be dealt withâlike every other threat.â
âOf course,â Varys murmured. âI have no doubt of that, my lord. Though I would suggest keeping your eye firmly on both sisters, lest fire burn unchecked.â
Tywinâs stare lingered on the Spider for a long, silent moment, unblinking and unyielding. Finally, he inclined his head ever so slightly, dismissing Varys with a flick of his fingers. âGo.â
Varys offered a smooth bow, his robes whispering against the stone floor as he turned to leave. Before disappearing fully into the shadows, he paused just long enough to add, âIt is curious, isnât it, my lord? How the lion and the dragon always seem destined to meet.â
Tywin said nothing, though his expression was carved from stone.
When Varys was gone, the Lord of Casterly Rock turned his gaze back toward the feast, where the sounds of music and laughter carried on without pause. Across the room, you cradled Damon in your arms, a faint smile on your lips as you whispered to him, oblivious to the storm now brewing in Tywinâs mind.
The Spiderâs words lingered like smoke in the air, and Tywinâs jaw tightened as his thoughts raced. Tyrion. Daenerys. Dragons.
Whatever flame had drawn his family to it would soon demand reckoningâand Tywin Lannister would ensure it was met on his terms.
The hum of the feast carried on in the Great Hall, but here, on the far side of the chamber, where the air was quieter and the firelight softer, you sat with Damon cradled in your arms. The plush cushions around you provided comfort as Lady Olenna Tyrell remained seated close by, her sharp gaze scanning the room like a hawk watching prey. Damon cooed softly, his fingers grasping at the edge of your sleeve, his bright eyes filled with wonder as he looked around at the grand surroundings.
You smiled faintly, brushing your fingers through the boyâs curls. âYouâve quite the audience tonight, havenât you?â you murmured to him softly. Damon giggled, clutching at your hand, his laughter like a balm amidst the constant thrum of the hall.
Olenna sniffed lightly, tapping her cane against the floor in idle rhythm. âTheyâre all waiting for the child to do something miraculous, no doubt,â she quipped dryly. âAs if every noble babe doesnât giggle and drool all the same.â
You chuckled, adjusting Damon in your lap. âLet them look. Heâs a child born into a world where lions and dragons share a room. That alone makes him a marvel to them.â
âIndeed,â Olenna said with a smirk. âTheyâll either worship him or fear him in time, depending on which beast roars loudest.â
Before you could reply, a shadow swept across the edge of your vision. You looked up, and there she wasâCersei Lannister, gliding toward you with a goblet of wine in hand, the golden silk of her gown flowing like liquid sunlight. Her face was composed, but there was a hardness in her gaze that was impossible to ignore.
âLady Olenna,â Cersei greeted coolly, though her eyes barely brushed the Tyrell matriarch before settling on you. âAnd you, mother,â she added, the word âmotherâ dipped in a faint edge of mockery.
Olenna raised a brow, her expression sharp as ever. âHow rare to see you so far from the royal table, Cersei. I was beginning to think youâd been fused to that chair.â
Cerseiâs lip curled slightly, though she ignored the barb, her attention fixed on you and Damon. âYou seem content tonight,â she said, her tone light but with an undercurrent of something darker. âThe proud mother, adored by all.â
âI have every reason to be content,â you replied smoothly, glancing down at Damon, who stared curiously at Cersei with his wide, violet eyes. âHe is my joy.â
Cerseiâs gaze lingered on Damon for a moment longer than necessary, her expression unreadable. âHe looks like father,â she said at last, though the words carried no warmth.Â
You raised a brow at her. âYou sound almost complimentary, Cersei.â
She tilted her head, swirling the wine in her goblet. âPerhaps I am. After all, your son is a Lannisterâis he not? My father has made that abundantly clear to all of Westeros.â Her voice was calm, but there was venom beneath it.
Olennaâs voice cut through the tension like a blade. âItâs rather amusing, isnât it? How quickly the world forgets old grudges when dragons return.â She tapped her cane sharply against the stone. âBut here you are, Cersei, nursing one still.â
Cersei turned her gaze on Olenna, her expression hardening. âAnd why should I forget?â she countered, her voice dropping slightly. âA Targaryen sits where my mother once did. Her dragon looms where my son should reign without shadow. Should I smile and clap like the rest of you?â
You shifted Damon slightly in your arms, your tone calm but firm. âI sit beside your father because he chose me, Cersei. And this dragon you so despise would burn those who would harm your familyâjust as I would.â
Cerseiâs eyes narrowed, her voice sharp as she leaned closer. âDo not pretend that your fire is for us. You serve your own blood first and the rest of us second.â
Olenna let out an exaggerated sigh, clearly enjoying herself. âOh, do calm down, girl. You sound like a fishwife.â
Cersei shot Olenna a glare before looking back at you. âTell me,â she continued, her voice deceptively soft, âdo you think this peace will last? That my father will dote on you forever, while the realm holds its breath over your son and your dragon?â
You met her gaze evenly, your fingers brushing gently over Damonâs hair as his small hands clutched at the edge of your gown. âI think that the realm will endure so long as we do not tear it apart out of jealousy and spite.â
Cerseiâs jaw tightened, her knuckles whitening around her goblet. For a moment, you saw the flicker of something deeperâloneliness, fearâbut it vanished quickly, replaced by her steely veneer.
âJealousy?â she echoed softly. âNo, Y/N, you mistake me. I do not envy you. I pity you.â
Olenna laughed sharply, breaking the tension like a slap to the face. âPity? How very charitable of you, Cersei. What next? Will you hand her alms like some poor beggar in Flea Bottom?â
Cersei turned on Olenna, her voice icy. âYou should hold your tongue, old woman. Youâve meddled enough in my familyâs affairs.â
Olenna merely smirked. âAnd yet here you are, meddling in hers.â
You shifted Damon in your arms, his small yawn breaking through the animosity. âEnough,â you said softly but firmly, your gaze steady as you looked at Cersei. âIf you wish to speak of jealousy and pity, do so elsewhere. My son will not grow up hearing such poison.â
Cerseiâs gaze flicked to Damon once more, lingering as though searching for something in his innocent face. Finally, she straightened, her expression smoothing back into icy composure. âEnjoy your moment, Y/N,â she said coolly, turning to leave. âMoments rarely last.â
As she walked away, Olenna muttered under her breath, âWhat a tiresome woman.â
You exhaled slowly, pressing a kiss to Damonâs head as his small hands curled against your chest. âShe is a lioness protecting what she thinks is hers,â you murmured, more to yourself than anyone else.
Olenna leaned back in her chair, her sharp eyes watching Cerseiâs retreating figure. âSheâs a lioness who doesnât yet realize the cage has been locked behind her.â She paused, her voice turning thoughtful. âWatch her closely, my dear. Women like Cersei are most dangerous when they feel cornered.â
You nodded faintly, your gaze drifting back to Damon, who had finally begun to drift to sleep in your arms. His quiet breathing, soft and rhythmic, grounded you against the undercurrent of tension still lingering in the air.
For now, the feast continued, the music played, and the Great Hall hummed with life. But somewhere deep in your heart, you knew Olennaâs words were true.
Cersei Lannister was dangerousâand her resentment burned just as brightly as any dragonâs fire.
The moon hung high over the Red Keep, its silver light spilling across the stone walls and bathing the castle in a cool, ethereal glow. The festivities of the day had finally come to an end, and silence reigned where music and laughter had once filled the air. The halls were empty save for the faint footfalls of a passing guard or the soft flicker of a torch burning low.
In your chambers, the fire crackled softly in the hearth, casting long shadows against the walls. The room smelled of lilies and warm candle wax, a comforting presence as you stood before the tall mirror, unpinning your silver hair. Damon had long since been carried off to the nursery, fast asleep after the excitement of the day. Now, the only sounds were the pop of the fire and your quiet movements.
The door opened with the faintest creak, and you glanced up as Tywin entered, his presence as commanding as ever, even in the stillness of the night. He had already shed his formal doublet, his crimson tunic and dark trousers immaculate, though his shoulders bore the faint weight of the long day. His gaze swept the room before settling on you.
âYouâre still awake,â he observed, his tone calm but expectant.
You turned slightly, offering him a faint smile. âI wasnât expecting you tonight.â
âI decided to retire here,â he said, moving toward the desk where a decanter of wine and goblets had been left for you. âThe rest of the castle is far too restless for my liking.â
You nodded, returning to unpin the final strands of your hair. âThe feast was a success, by all accounts. Though it seems you had little patience for the lords that circled you.â
Tywin poured himself a small measure of wine, his movements deliberate as he spoke. âThey are drawn to strength, like carrion to a fresh kill. They think proximity to me will bring them power. Fools.â He turned, taking a slow sip of his wine, his sharp green eyes lingering on you.
You finished with your hair and moved toward the large bed, sitting on its edge to unlace the ribbon at your sleeve. âAnd yet you endure them.â
âI endure many things,â Tywin replied coolly, though something in his voice hinted at the weight of what lay beneath. He watched you for a moment longer before setting his goblet aside and approaching.
You could feel his eyes on you as he neared, the faint creak of the floorboards under his measured steps. His silence, though not unusual, felt heavier tonight. When he finally spoke, his tone carried the careful weight of deliberation.
âWhat do you know of your sister?â
The question caught you off guard. You paused mid-motion, turning your head to look up at him. âDaenerys?â
Tywinâs face betrayed nothing, though his gaze was unrelenting. âYes.â
You tilted your head slightly, frowning faintly. âI know probably what you do. She was born on Dragonstone, after I had already been taken north to be a ward of the Starks. I never met her.â You paused, as though searching for fragments of memories long buried. âWe exchanged letters, a handful over last yearâmost of which were formal, polite. There is little else I could say.â
Tywin regarded you carefully, as though dissecting your words for any trace of deceit. âAnd you never wondered about her? About the sister who shared your blood and hatched dragons?â
You narrowed your eyes slightly, your voice calm but firm. âWhat is this about, Tywin?â
He exhaled through his nose, crossing his arms as he stood before you, his towering form framed by the firelight. âTyrion is alive.â
The words seemed to hang in the air, heavier than the silence that followed. You blinked, the revelation settling into you like a cold weight. âAlive?â you repeated softly. âHow?â
âVarys,â Tywin said curtly, the name like poison on his tongue. âThe Spider facilitated his escape after the trial.â His voice dropped lower, sharper. âAnd now my son sits in Essos as an advisor to your sister, Daenerys Targaryen.â
You stared at him, absorbing the full weight of his words. âDaenerys,â you said slowly, realization dawning. âShe means to push her claim.â
âShe will,â Tywin replied with certainty, his gaze unyielding. âA Targaryen queen with dragons at her back cannot be ignored. She will come for the Iron Throne.â
You shook your head faintly, your voice steady. âAnd you think sheâs a threat to me? To Damon?â
âNot yet,â Tywin answered, though his expression remained hard. âBut she will be. Your sister carries the blood of Old Valyria, as you do. She has armies, she has dragons, and now she has Tyrion whispering in her ear.â
You frowned, searching his face. âWhy tell me this now? Why tonight?â
Tywinâs jaw tightened, his voice deliberate. âBecause one of the dragons she hatched flew to you. Not to her. That matters.â
You rose from the edge of the bed, the tension in your body unmistakable as you stepped closer to him. âViserion came to me, yes, but not because I called for her. She came for reasons beyond my understandingâperhaps instinct, perhaps fate.â
Tywinâs eyes narrowed slightly. âYou speak as though that makes no difference. But it does. To the realm, to your sister, to me.â
âAnd what of my claim, then?â you asked sharply, your voice rising slightly. âIs that what this is about? You would pit me against her because the blood of kings runs in my veins?â
Tywin did not flinch, his voice calm but firm. âYou are a Targaryen. Your son is a Lannister and a Targaryen. That blood gives you a claim that will be undeniable to manyâmore so than hers. You could unite the realm, secure its future.â
âAnd at what cost?â you countered, meeting his gaze without wavering. âMy sister is not my enemy, Tywin. She has never been.â
âNot yet,â Tywin said coldly. âBut blood has turned to fire before. It will again.â
For a long moment, the two of you stood there, locked in a silence that crackled with unspoken anxiety. The fire in the hearth danced wildly, casting fleeting shadows across the room.
Finally, you exhaled softly, your voice quieter but no less firm. âDo you fear her?â
Tywinâs face remained impassive, though his tone betrayed a flicker of something deeperâcalculated pragmatism, perhaps even unease. âI fear nothing. I prepare for everything.â
You shook your head faintly, a bitter smile tugging at your lips. âDragons do not bow, Tywin. Not even to lions.â
âAnd yet,â he said, stepping closer, his gaze holding yours, âViserion flew to you. And now you bow to me.â
The words stung more than you cared to admit, though you refused to show it. Instead, you lifted your chin, holding your ground. âI chose this pathâfor my son, for myself.â
Tywin studied you for a long moment, the flicker of the fire reflecting in his green eyes. When he spoke again, his tone was softer, though still edged with purpose. âDo not forget the world we live in, Y/N. It will not tolerate two Targaryens. When the time comes, you must decide where you stand.â
You stared at him, your heart heavy as his words sank in. Tywin Lannister, ever the pragmatist, had laid the truth bare. And though you knew the fires of your blood would burn brightly in the days to come, you could not yet see which flame would consume the other.
The winds howled around Dragonstone, whipping against the cliffs with the fury of an ancient beast. The grey skies above the island hung low and brooding, heavy with the salt of the narrow sea. Below, the waves crashed relentlessly against the jagged rocks, echoing through the labyrinthine halls of the Targaryen stronghold.
Within the belly of the island, deep in the Dragonmont, the air was heavy with heat, thick with the scent of sulfur and ancient fire. The men of House Lannisterâarmored in crimson cloaks and polished steelâmoved with uneasy steps as they followed their lord through the dim passageways. The sound of their boots echoed ominously against the black stone, though not a single man spoke.
At their head, Tywin Lannister strode forward with his usual measured calm, a figure of unwavering authority even in the heart of this dragonâs lair. Beside him, Jaime Lannister walked in silence. Unlike the other soldiers, Jaimeâs face remained composed, though there was a flicker of doubt in his gaze as he looked toward his father.
âIs this wise, Father?â Jaime finally broke the silence, his voice low but clear. âApproaching the beast without her rider? Without your wife?â
Tywin did not slow his pace, his green eyes focused ahead on the faint glow that grew brighter with every step. âMy wife is attending to our son,â he replied coolly. âShe is not needed for what I intend to do.â
âAnd what is it that you intend?â Jaime pressed, though his tone carried the weight of caution.
Tywin glanced at him briefly, his expression unreadable. âTo remind the beast of who I am.â
Jaimeâs brows furrowed as they stepped into the vast, torchlit cavern that was the Dragonmont. The air was sweltering here, filled with the heavy pulse of something ancient and alive. The black stone walls shimmered faintly with heat, their edges glowing with the faintest ember-like gleam.
And there, at the center of the chamber, lay Viserion.
The she-dragonâs cream-and-gold scales reflected the torchlight like molten metal, shimmering with every slight movement. Her massive wings lay tucked against her sides, rising and falling gently as she breathed. Viserionâs head was curled over her claws, her eyes closed, though even in sleep, the slow rumble of her breathing filled the cavern like a distant storm.
The Lannister men froze where they stood, their faces pale as they took in the sheer size and power of the dragon before them. One of the soldiers murmured a prayer under his breath, though the words were swallowed by the cavernâs silence.
Jaime hesitated. âFatherââ
Tywin raised a hand, silencing him with a single gesture. Without another word, he moved forward alone, his polished boots striking the stone floor with deliberate precision.
Viserion shifted. The great muscles along her flanks rippled as her wings twitched slightly, the air around her growing hotter. A low, warning growl vibrated through the chamber, deep enough to rattle the bones of every man present. The sound was primal, unmistakably a sign of her awareness.
âFatherââ Jaime hissed again, his tone sharper now, though Tywin did not stop.
Tywin stepped closer still, his face a mask of calm as he approached the massive creature. Viserionâs growl deepened, and her golden eyes snapped open, locking onto the man who dared intrude upon her rest. Her pupils, slitted and sharp as blades, narrowed dangerously.
The men behind Tywin tensed, gripping their weapons instinctively though they knew they would be of no use against the beast. Jaime cursed under his breath, his hand hovering near his sword despite its futility.
Tywin stopped mere paces from Viserion, unflinching as the she-dragon lifted her massive head, her teeth bared in a display of power. Her wings unfurled slightly, casting vast, jagged shadows across the chamber walls.
âViserion,â Tywin said, his voice steady, unwavering, as though he were addressing a courtier rather than a dragon. âI know you understand me.â
The growl from Viserion deepened into something moreâhalf warning, half challenge. She loomed over him now, her neck arching as her throat began to glow faintly with the embers of fire. Her breath was like a furnace, a searing gust of heat that washed over Tywin as she let out a roar so loud the walls themselves seemed to tremble.
Still, Tywin did not move.
The Lannister men stumbled back in fear, one dropping his sword with a clatter. Jaime stepped forward instinctively. âFather, enough! Sheâllââ
Tywin lifted a hand to silence his son once more. His sharp green gaze never left Viserionâs molten gold eyes. âYou know who I am,â he said evenly, his voice cutting through the dread like steel. âAnd you know that I am not your enemy.â
Viserion bared her teeth again, her throat glowing brighter as smoke curled from the edges of her mouth. The heat was unbearable, the air thick and stifling. Tywin took another step forward, close enough now that he could see the faint flicker of the fire within her.
âYou are fire made flesh,â Tywin said softly, his voice carrying across the cavern. âBut you are also her dragon. You know that. And through her, you know me.â
Viserionâs gaze flickered, her growl hesitating for the barest of moments. Her massive claws scraped against the stone floor as she shifted slightly, her wings folding back closer to her sides. The light in her throat dimmed just enough to hint at restraint.
Tywin stepped forward one last time, his hand lifting slowly, deliberately. The men behind him murmured in shock and disbelief, but Tywin ignored them. Viserion watched him warily, her head lowering ever so slightly, her growl softening to a deep, vibrating rumble.
The moment stretched unbearably long, the firelight flickering against the metal of Tywinâs rings as his hand brushed against Viserionâs snout.
The she-dragon let out a deep, guttural soundânot quite approval, but not rejection either. Her massive body shifted again, settling against the stone floor with a huff as she allowed the touch, her eyes half-lidded and watchful.
Tywin let his hand linger for a moment longer before withdrawing. He turned on his heel, facing the men who had watched the impossible unfold before them. Jaime stood frozen, his face a mixture of shock and disbelief.
Tywinâs voice rang out, calm and authoritative. âI want armor made for herâValyrian-inspired, reinforced and worthy of her size.â His gaze swept over the soldiers, cold and unwavering. âShe is to be well-fed and kept under watch. This dragon is not some wild beast. She is a weapon, and like all weapons, she will be sharpened and honed.â
The men exchanged stunned glances but nodded quickly, murmuring their assent.
Jaime finally found his voice, stepping forward as Tywin approached. âYou mean to arm her?â he asked, incredulous. âFather, whyââ
Tywin cut him off with a sharp look. âBecause I will not leave the fate of this realm to chance, Jaime.â His gaze flicked back toward Viserion, who now watched them with wary stillness. âHer fire is ours to wield. And we will wield it.â
Without another word, Tywin strode past Jaime and the men, his footsteps echoing through the cavern. Jaime lingered for a moment, glancing back at the she-dragon as she settled herself, the fire in her eyes watching them all with quiet menace.
He exhaled sharply, muttering under his breath as he followed his father out of the Dragonmont.
Behind them, Viserionâs growl rumbled softly, a sound that seemed to promise that no oneânot even Tywin Lannisterâcould ever hope to fully control the fire she carried within.
#game of thrones#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#fire and blood#house of the dragon#hotd#house targaryen#house lannister#legacy#got#got/asoiaf#asoiaf x reader#got tywin#tywin lannister#tywin x reader#tywin x you#tywin x y/n
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đđĄđ đŠđŤđđđđĄđđŤ'đŹ đđđŽđ đĄđđđŤ | chapter 3
Dbf! Joel Miller x female reader
"đ đ¸đ˘đľđ¤đŠđŚđĽ đŠđŞđŽ đ´đŠđ°đ¸ đŠđŞđ´ đđ°đˇđŚ đľđŠđłđ°đśđ¨đŠ đ´đŠđ˘đĽđŚđ´ đ°đ§ đŁđđ˘đ¤đŹ đ˘đŻđĽ đŁđđśđŚ"
summary: After the incident, where past traumas resurface and threaten to unravel your fragile sense of security, Joel steps in as a protector. His presence becomes a beacon of comfort amidst the chaos.
warnings: 18+ only, Minors DNI, AU, No outbreak. (TW) mentions of substance abuse/alcohol use disorder, adult content, religion abuse, violence, blood gore, mentions of death, sexual abuse, sexual content, domestic violences, ped0ph!l1a, cann1bal!sm, human traff1ck1ng, r4p3, dad's best friend!Joel, HUGE age gap (i will not specify her exact age, but she's legal and Joel is 49), daddy issues, mentions of toxic family dynamic, Joel is widowed, Ellie is 16, angst, smut A LOT, forbidden relationship, soft and protective Joel, innocent and pure reader. your last name is Gibson. any other details will be explain throughout the story. inspired by the album Preacher's daughter by Ethel Cain and also mix with lana del rey vibes.
CHAPTER 3
masterlist of the series!
Previous | chapter 2
Next | chapter 4
The night when Jamie took your virginity by force felt like the moment the light within you was extinguished. It was as if the divine spark that once illuminated your soul was snuffed out, leaving behind a darkness that clung to you like a second skin. The purity you had cherished as a good Christian girl was shattered, and in its place, you felt an overwhelming sense of dirtiness. It was as if you had been marked, branded with an invisible scarlet letter that only you could see, yet you believed everyone else could see it too.
The past two months had been a relentless descent into a personal hell. You had become a ghost of your former self, your once vibrant spirit now a flickering ember. Physically, you were a shadow, your body wasting away as if your soulâs torment had seeped into your flesh. The weight of your violation bore down on you, leaving you with no desire to eat, to engage, to exist. Every day was a struggle against the ever-present feeling of disgust, the conviction that you were tainted beyond redemption.
In the eyes of others, you felt exposed, as if the sin of that night was etched into your very being. It was as if the words âdirty slutâ were emblazoned across your skin, a silent condemnation that followed you everywhere. No matter where you went, the eyes of judgment seemed to follow, their silent accusations piercing your already wounded soul.
At school, you had withdrawn into yourself, a stark contrast to the lively girl you once were. You spoke to no one, even when you went to church, you avoiding Ellie, Tommy, and Maria. After class, you would rush home, seeking refuge in the solitude that had become both your sanctuary and your prison. Only Joel knew the truth of what had happened that night, and he had been your anchor in the storm.
After that night, you stayed at Joelâs. He had been nothing but gentle, his touch a stark contrast to the violence you had endured. He cleaned you up, gave you a bath, and ensured your privacy by standing near the tub with the curtain drawn, only intervening if you needed something. The care he showed you was the kind of protection you had longed for all your life. His presence was a balm to your wounded spirit, his protectiveness a shield against the darkness that threatened to consume you.
The morning after, you insisted on walking home, despite Joelâs offer to drive you. Your house was nearby, but in your daze, you had forgotten to inform your parents where you had been. As you walked through the front door, your fatherâs fury was immediate. "Where have you been?" he demanded, his voice a thunderous roar. "You didnât tell us you were staying out. Do you have any idea how worried we were?"
"I stayed at Ellieâs," you lied, your voice barely above a whisper. "If you donât believe me, you can call Joel."
Without hesitation, your father dialed Joelâs number. You stood there, heart pounding, as Joel answered. "Yes, she stayed with Ellie here last night," Joel confirmed, his voice steady. He kept his promise not to reveal the incident with Jamie, but your fatherâs anger was far from assuaged.
"Even so," your father raged, "you didnât inform us. Whatâs next? Youâll become a whore, wandering the streets? Is that what you want?" His words cut deep, each one a dagger plunging into your already shattered heart. He berated you about the virtues of Christianity, reminding you of the sanctity of purity and obedience.
"You need to understand the importance of your faith," he lectured, his voice a relentless drone. "You must remain pure and obedient, not fall into sin like this."
You stood there, numb, the weight of his words adding to the already unbearable burden on your shoulders. The guilt and shame threatened to overwhelm you. Every word felt like another chain, binding you in your own personal hell.
"Take off your shirt and face the wall," your father ordered, his voice cold and commanding.
With trembling hands, you did as he said, the shirt you borrowed from Ellie slipping to the floor. You turned to the wall, feeling the roughness of the paint against your skin, a stark contrast to the softness you craved. Your father took his belt, the leather a familiar implement of punishment, and began to strike.
Each lash was a searing reminder of your perceived sins, each word of his condemnation a nail in the coffin of your spirit. "This is for your disobedience," he spat, the belt cracking against your skin. "This is for the whore youâre becoming."
You bit back your cries, the tears streaming down your face silently. You were too exhausted to scream, too broken to protest. The pain was overwhelming, but it felt deserved. In your mind, this was Godâs punishment for your unholiness, a penance for the dirtiness you couldnât wash away.
Your mother watched from the doorway, her eyes filled with helplessness. She didnât intervene, just as she never had. Instead, she retreated to the living room, turning up the volume on the gospel music to drown out the sound of your fatherâs anger and your silent suffering.
With each strike, you closed your eyes, the pain coursing through you like fire. You envisioned yourself as a fallen angel, wings torn and bloodied, cast out from the grace you once knew. The purity you had cherished was gone, replaced by a deep, unending shame.
When it was over, you collapsed to the floor, your body trembling with the aftershocks of pain. You felt like a martyr, bearing the weight of your fatherâs righteousness, the gospel music a cruel hymn to your suffering. You were unworthy, unholy, and the punishment was your penance.
As you lay there, tears mingling with the cold floor, you prayed. Not for forgiveness, but for strength. "God, if Youâre listening, help me endure this. Help me find a way to survive." Your prayer was a whisper in the storm, a desperate plea from a soul that had known too much darkness.
In that moment, you understood the depth of your isolation. Your purity was gone, your light extinguished, but a spark of defiance remained. You had survived this night, just as you had survived Jamie. And somehow, you would find a way to keep surviving, to reclaim the light that had been stolen from you.
***
The days that followed were a blur of silence and shadows. You moved through the house like a ghost, your presence barely acknowledged by your parents. Your fatherâs words echoed in your mind, a constant reminder of your perceived worthlessness. Every glance in the mirror revealed the invisible brand of shame you felt etched into your skin. You had become a stranger to yourself, lost in a labyrinth of guilt and self-loathing.
At school, you withdrew further into yourself, avoiding everyoneâs gaze. Ellie noticed your absence, but you couldnât bring yourself to explain. The weight of your secret was too heavy to share, the fear of judgment too great. You walked the halls with your head down, each step a reminder of the burden you carried.
A month had gone by, and now it was Sunday. The weight of another church service loomed over you. You had managed to somewhat regain a semblance of normalcy, but the shadows of that night continued to haunt you. Despite the slight improvement, you had been avoiding everyone, including Joel. His calls went unanswered, and you took alternate routes to avoid passing his house. The shame you felt was overwhelming. You had developed feelings for Joel, but you believed he would never want you now that you felt so dirty.
Joel, on the other hand, was deeply worried about you. His concern grew with each passing day. He would occasionally ask Tommy if he had seen you at church, but Tommyâs answers never provided the comfort Joel sought.
The night before Sunday, Joel decided to visit Tommy and Maria with Ellie, hoping to have a casual movie night. He needed an excuse to ask about you without raising suspicions.
As they settled in the living room, Tommy was setting up the movie. Joel took a seat next to him, glancing around at the familiar surroundings. Ellie and Maria were chatting in the kitchen, preparing snacks.
"So, howâve things been?" Joel asked, trying to keep his tone light. "Busy with the kid, I bet."
Tommy chuckled, nodding. "Yeah, you know how it is. Little one keeps us on our toes. What about you? How's work been?"
"Same old, same old," Joel replied, leaning back in his chair. "Ellie's doing good in school, keeping me busy with all her activities."
Tommy smiled. "Thatâs good to hear. Sheâs a great kid."
Joel nodded, then took a deep breath, trying to steer the conversation. "Yeah, speaking of kids... you seen Gibson girl around lately? Maybe at church? Haven't seen her passing by my home."
Tommy frowned, scratching his head. "Yeah, now that you mention it, I haven't seen her at church either. And she's usually always around."
Joel tried to keep his voice casual, not wanting to raise suspicion. "Right," Joel answered, but his thoughts were far from the conversation at hand. He couldn't shake the image of you from his mindâthe pain in your eyes, the way you had avoided him, the way your voice trembled when you last spoke. Every unanswered call, every sight of your empty path gnawed at him, filling him with a deep, gnawing worry.
He replayed that night over and over, the way you had clung to him, the way he had tried to provide comfort without crossing any lines. He had never felt so helpless, so desperate to protect someone, yet so unsure of how to do it. His heart ached with the thought of you suffering alone, believing you were dirty or unworthy.
"Joel?" Tommy's voice broke through his thoughts, pulling him back to the present. Joel blinked, realizing he had completely zoned out.
"Huh? What?" Joel said, shaking his head to clear the fog of worry. "Sorry, what did you say?"
Tommy gave him a curious look, tilting his head slightly. "I was asking if you wanted more popcorn, but you seemed a million miles away. Everything alright?"
Joel forced a smile, trying to mask the anxiety that churned within him. "Yeah, sorry just got a lot on my mind. But yeah, more popcorn sounds good."
Tommy didn't seem entirely convinced, but he let it go, standing up to refill the bowl. Joel watched him go, taking the moment to gather himself. He needed to find a way to reach you, to make sure you were alright without raising too much suspicion. The worry gnawed at him, a constant presence in the back of his mind.
As the movie continued, Joel found it hard to focus. His thoughts kept drifting back to you, hoping that you were finding some measure of peace, even as he felt his own slipping further away.
As the sun rose on Sunday, you prepared yourself with a painstaking precision. The morning light seemed to cast an unforgiving glow on your efforts, illuminating every detail of your attire and makeup. You adorned yourself in a soft yellow dress, a stark contrast to the stained white dress you had left behindâa symbol of a past tainted by invisible scars. Your hair was styled meticulously, and a light touch of makeup tried to mask the weariness in your eyes. It was as if you were trying to paint over the shadows that clung to you, hoping that the brightness of the yellow might somehow wash away the stains of your recent past.
Your father was adamant about you joining the service, and the pressure of his expectations weighed heavily on you. The town would be present, as it always was for these occasions, their curious eyes a stark reminder of your recent absence. You could feel their gazes, and you braced yourself for the inevitable scrutiny. The anticipation of stepping into the public eye once more was almost suffocating.
When you arrived at the church, you noticed Tommy and Mariaâs car parked nearby, a sight that barely registered in your anxious state. But as you turned, your heart seemed to freeze. There, behind Tommyâs car, was a familiar truckâa vehicle you hadnât expected to see in such a context. It was Joelâs truck.
Your breath hitched in your throat. Joel had decided to return to church after years of absence. The scene before you was a tableau of mixed emotions: the congregationâs whispers, the look of surprise on Tommyâs face, and your fatherâs exuberant welcome of Joel. The church buzzed with curiosity, and every eye seemed to turn toward Joel and the unexpected presence he brought with him. Your fatherâs enthusiasm was palpable as he greeted Joel, his gestures warm and welcoming. Tommy smiled, clearly pleased to see his brother, but the smile didnât quite reach his eyes.
You, on the other hand, felt an overwhelming urge to disappear. The thought of facing Joel was almost too much to bear. The last time you had seen him, everything had been different. The thought of him seeing you in your current state, a mix of shame and unresolved feelings, was unbearable. You moved swiftly to avoid his gaze, slipping through the crowd like a wisp of smoke.
Joel's presence was a silent declaration of concern and hope. His return to the church was more than a gesture; it was an effort to reconnect, to understand why you had vanished so abruptly from his life. He couldnât risk coming to your house and questioning your parents directly, as that would have been too conspicuous. Instead, he chose this public setting, hoping it might offer a chance to see you, to gauge your well-being without drawing undue attention.
Tommy and Ellie had been startled by Joelâs decision to attend church after all these years. To them, it was an unspoken mystery, a puzzle piece that didn't quite fit with the past patterns they knew. Tommyâs curiosity was evident, though he kept his questions at bay, respecting Joelâs unspoken wish for discretion.
As the service began, the room was filled with the familiar hymns and prayers. The sounds of the congregationâs voices blended into a backdrop of solemnity and devotion. You sat through the service, your mind a turbulent sea of emotions, while Joelâs presence at the back of the church was a constant, heavy reminder of your own turmoil.
Joel, despite his own feelings of discomfort in this sacred space, kept his gaze low, trying to remain unobtrusive. His concern for you overshadowed the solemnity of the service, his heart aching with the desire to reach out, to offer solace, but restrained by the fear of overstepping. The echoes of the sermon, the rustle of prayer books, and the collective murmur of the congregation seemed distant, as if you were trapped in a bubble of your own distress.
After the Sunday service, the church transformed into a space of community and fellowship. Tables were set up with an array of homemade dishes, and the congregation gathered for a communal meal. The aroma of comfort food filled the air, mingling with the murmur of conversations and the clinking of plates. It was a time for members of the congregation to connect, share news, and strengthen their bonds.
You moved through the gathering with practiced grace, helping your mother and father arrange the food and interact with the attendees. Your smile was a well-practiced mask, concealing the turmoil that churned beneath. You greeted old friends and acquaintances, your responses polite but distant. The effort to maintain this façade was exhausting, but you felt it was necessary to avoid further scrutiny.
As you made your way to the storage room in the church, a quiet refuge away from the bustling hall, you found yourself alone. The clamor of the gathering seemed a world away, and the space was filled with the scent of dust and old paper. You were organizing a stack of donation boxes when you heard the faint sound of footsteps approaching.
Turning around, you saw Joel standing in the doorway. His presence was like a sudden storm cloud on an otherwise clear dayâunexpected and overwhelming. He looked at you with a mixture of concern and apprehension, his rugged face lined with worry. The weight of his gaze was almost palpable, and it seemed as though he was struggling to find the right words.
âHey,â Joel said, his voice low and gravelly. He took a hesitant step forward, his hands stuffed into his pockets. The usual gruffness in his tone was softened by the underlying worry.
You shifted uncomfortably, caught off guard by his appearance. âJoel,â you managed to reply, trying to keep your voice steady despite the emotions welling up inside you. âI didnât expect to see you here.â
Joel looked around the small room, as if searching for the right way to start the conversation. âYeah, well,â he began, his gaze falling back on you. âIâve beenââ He paused, trying to gather his thoughts. âIâve been worried about you. Havenât seen you around much. I wanted to see if youâre okay.â
His words were simple, yet they carried the weight of his genuine concern. Joel was a man of action rather than words, and his struggle to articulate his feelings only highlighted how much he cared. He took another step closer, his eyes searching yours for a sign of how you were really doing.
âJoel,â you said, your voice trembling slightly, âdid you come to church just for this? Iâm fine. Really.â
Joelâs expression softened, but his concern remained palpable. âIâve been tryinâ to reach you, and youâve been avoidinâ me. Itâs not like you to just disappear. I need to knowâare you really okay?â he said, his voice tinged with a hint of frustration.
His words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of his worry. You looked away, struggling to find the right response. âIâve just been dealing with things,â you said, your voice barely above a whisper. âI needed some time.â
Joelâs eyes narrowed slightly, his concern deepening. " Youâve been missinâ from school, from church, from everythinâ. And donât think I havenât noticed how youâve been keepinâ your distance."
You felt a pang of guilt at his words, the truth of your situation pressing heavily on your heart. âI'm fine, Joelâ you said, struggling to keep your composure.
Joelâs gaze remained steady, a mixture of frustration and concern etched into his features. âWhyâve you been avoidinâ me?â he asked, his voice a blend of urgency and care. âYou canât keep runninâ away from this. You keep pushinâ me away.â
You felt a sharp pang of guilt at his words, your heart twisting in your chest. The shame and the weight of your feelings made it difficult to meet his eyes. âI justââ you began, your voice faltering. âI didnât want you to see me like this. I didnât want you to see how... broken I am.â
Joelâs expression softened, his eyes filled with a mix of sadness and tenderness. âWhat are you talkinâ about?â he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. âYouâre not broken. Youâre still you. You donât have nothinâ to be ashamed of.â
His words were a balm to your wounded spirit, yet the weight of your shame still felt suffocating. You shook your head, tears blurring your vision. âBut Iâve changed,â you said, your voice cracking. âI feel like Iâm not who I was before. I feel... dirty. Like Iâm not even me anymore.â
Joelâs eyes softened as he noticed the tremble in your voice, the tears that began to fall. Without a second thought, he closed the distance between you, wrapping his arms around you in a tight, reassuring embrace. His touch was warm and steady, a stark contrast to the cold grip of your shame.
As he held you, Joel let his guard down, something he rarely allowed himself to do. The strength in his arms was a shield against the world, a sanctuary where you could momentarily escape the torment you had been living through. The gentle rise and fall of his chest, the steady rhythm of his breathing, provided a grounding comfort. This was more than a physical embrace; it was a silent promise of protection, akin to the way he had once shielded Ellie and Sarah.
âItâs alright,â Joel murmured into your hair, his voice low and soothing. âItâs not your fault, it's not your fault. Everything's gonna be alright, babygirl."
His words were like a balm to the raw wounds of your spirit, yet the weight of your emotions still felt heavy. You could sense the sincerity in his voice, a quiet strength that contrasted sharply with the tumult of your inner world. In his embrace, you could almost imagine the weight of your shame lifting, if only for a moment.
After a while, you slowly pulled away from Joelâs comforting hold, grateful for his presence. âThank you, Joel,â you said softly, wiping away the remnants of your tears. Joel, ever the pragmatist, decided to lighten the mood with one of his characteristic jokes.
âYou know,â he said with a crooked smile, âcryinâ like that might just mess up your makeup. And we wouldnât want you lookinâ like a raccoon now, would we?â
His playful jest brought a genuine smile to your face, a rare and fleeting moment of joy. Joelâs eyes softened as he saw you smile, his own expression a mix of relief and affection. âThatâs right, like that, doll,â he said, his voice warm.
He gently cupped your face, his rough fingers brushing away the last traces of tears. âYouâre stronger than you think. Just gotta give yourself some credit. You ainât broken, not by a long shot.â
Before you could respond, the sound of footsteps approached, and your mother appeared at the doorway of the storage room. Her cheerful voice cut through the tension. âSweetheart, whatâs taking so long? Did you find everything?â
You and Joel quickly pulled away from each other, making a show of straightening up and wiping your faces. âUmm, yes mother, I-I found it,â you said, trying to sound casual.
Your motherâs eyes fell on Joel, her eyebrows lifting in surprise. âJoel? What are you doing here?â
Joel cleared his throat, trying to mask the unease in his voice. âHey, Evelyn, I, uh, just looking around the church again. Almost forgot how it looks from the inside, you know? Itâs been a while.â
Your mother, ever the bubbly personality, clapped her hands together. âOh, thatâs wonderful! Weâre so glad to see you back. You know, you should come more often. Itâs always nice to have you around. Itâs been such a long time!â
Joel nodded, his eyes flicking back to you with a hint of concern. âYeah, Iâll think about it. Just felt like catching up with old times.â
Your mother beamed at Joel, her enthusiasm unwavering. âWell, thatâs fantastic. You must join us for some of the refreshments afterward. Itâs a potluck today, and thereâs plenty of food. Everyoneâs been asking about you.â
Joel gave a polite smile, trying to hide his discomfort. âSure thing. Iâll stick around for a bit.â
As your mother continued to chat with Joel, her cheerful demeanor filling the room with a lightness that contrasted sharply with the earlier tension, you took the opportunity to discreetly collect yourself. You adjusted your dress and smoothed out your makeup, trying to regain your composure.
Joel, noticing the change in your demeanor, shot you a small, reassuring smile before turning his attention back to your mother.
Your mother excuse herself to go out but lookback to you, âOh, sweetheart, I almost forgot. We need help with the setup for the refreshments,â
You quickly nodded. âYes, Iâll take care of it, Mama." and she went to outside.
You and Joel moved outside too, where the atmosphere of the churchâs potluck was in full swing. The laughter and chatter of the congregation filled the air, mingling with the scent of freshly baked goods and savory dishes. Joel, despite his unease, tried to adapt to the social scene, engaging with the women who flocked to him. He was a striking figure, with his salt-and-pepper beard and intense brown eyes that had a rugged charm to them. The women, clearly drawn to his distinguished appearance and the success he embodied, tried to catch his attention, though Joelâs discomfort was palpable. He offered polite smiles and brief responses, all the while his gaze frequently wandered back to you.
You moved among the congregation, offering refreshments and engaging in small talk, your presence like a breath of fresh air amidst the busier, more boisterous interactions. To Joel, you appeared as a serene visionâan innocent beauty despite everything. There was something ethereal about you, a delicate grace that made you stand out among the crowd. Your yellow dress seemed to shimmer with a soft glow, as if capturing the very essence of spring's first light.
Joelâs eyes lingered on you, the sight of your genuine smile and the way you interacted with others tugging at something deep within him. You were like a lone daisy in a field of wildflowers, untouched by the wilting sun. His admiration for you was undeniable, though it was mingled with concern and protectiveness.
Suddenly, as you were handing out refreshments, he noticed a boy approaching you. He moved with a kind of familiar swagger, and Joelâs heart skipped a beat as he recognized himâJamie Lee. The sight of Jamie sent a shiver down Joelâs spine, and a protective instinct surged through him. He watched, tense and alert, as Jamie neared you.
Jamieâs presence was like a shadow falling over your radiant light. Joelâs gaze hardened, his focus narrowing. He could see the unease in your posture, the way you instinctively took a step back. The fear in your eyes was palpable, and it made Joelâs fists clench at his sides.
Joel, unable to stand idly by, started making his way towards you. His movements were deliberate and calculated, every step driven by a fierce determination to protect you.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions before turning back to Jamie. The confrontation had left a bitter taste in your mouth, and you approached him with a cold, composed demeanor.
Jamie, noticing your icy response, shifted uncomfortably. âHey,â he started, his voice trying to sound casual but laced with an apologetic tone. âI didnât mean to, you know, I was justââ
"Get off from my face," you said quietly doesn't want to make a scene.
amieâs face twisted into a desperate mask of fear as he took another step closer. âLook, Iâm really sorry,â he said, his voice trembling. âJust... just listen to me. I didnât mean toââ
âGet off from my face,â you repeated, your voice barely a whisper but sharp as a blade. Your hands trembled slightly as you tried to push him away, but Jamie persisted, his fear morphing into a desperate, unsettling urgency. âPlease, just leave me alone.â
Jamieâs panic grew. He began to reach out, trying to grab your arm. âYou donât understand. I need you toââ
Before he could touch you, Joelâs imposing figure appeared, his presence radiating a quiet, intimidating authority. His eyes narrowed as he assessed the situation, the protective instincts within him coming to the forefront. âWhatâs goinâ on here?â Joelâs voice was steady, yet carried a dangerous edge that made Jamie freeze.
Jamieâs eyes widened in recognition. âMr. Miller!â he stammered, backing away slightly. âIâuhââ
Joelâs gaze shifted to you, noticing the fear and distress on your face. He took a step closer to you, his body language radiating both calm and control. âGibson, you alright?â he asked softly, his voice a reassuring balm amidst the tension.
You nodded, though your face was pale and your eyes betrayed the turmoil within. âYes, Iâm fine. Just... I need to go," You trying to gave Joel a smile and then walk away continue what you were doing.
Joel watched you walk away, his protective instincts still simmering beneath the surface. Once you were out of sight, Joel turned his full attention back to Jamie, his expression hardening.
âHey, Jamie,â Joel said, his voice low and controlled. âHowâs your old man? Still keepinâ busy with the firm?â
Jamie seemed to relax slightly, though his eyes still flicked nervously between Joel and the direction you had gone. âUh, yeah, heâs doing alright,â Jamie replied, trying to sound casual. âStill busy as ever. You know how it is.â
Joelâs gaze was unwavering, a subtle intensity in his eyes that Jamie seemed to sense but couldnât quite place. âAnd what about you? Whatâve you been up to lately?â
Jamie fidgeted, rubbing the back of his neck. âOh, just... you know, school and stuff. Nothing too exciting.â
Joel nodded slowly, maintaining a calm exterior while his mind worked through his options. âRight, right. Well, itâs been a while since Iâve seen you around. Thought Iâd come back to the old church, see how things are goinâ.â
Jamieâs eyes darted nervously. âYeah, itâs been a while,â he said, his voice faltering. âSo, uh, what brings you back? I thought you hadnât been around for years.â
Joelâs smile was tight, the warmth of it not quite reaching his eyes. âJust felt like it was time to reconnect. Thought Iâd check in on the old place, you know?"
Jamie seemed to relax a bit more, although his discomfort lingered. âYeah, well, itâs good to see you,â he said awkwardly. âThings are... different, but you know how it is.â
Joelâs gaze remained steady, a quiet storm of thoughts behind his calm facade. âYeah, I know how it is,â he said, his tone measured. âWell, Jamie, Iâm glad we had a chance to catch up. I'll see you around,"
Jamieâs face was a mask of confusion and relief as he nodded quickly. âYeah, see you around, Mr. Miller.â
As Jamie walked away, Joelâs eyes followed him, a thoughtful frown settling on his face. He knew there was more beneath the surface, and he was determined to uncover it, but for now, he kept his thoughts to himself.
Joel took a deep breath, his gaze returning to where you had disappeared. He knew that protecting you and making sure you felt safe was his priority now. The façade of casual conversation was just thatâa façade.
Joel watched you slip away from the crowd, a cloud of worry settling over him. His thoughts were a maelstrom of concern and determination, but before he could follow, he was waylaid by several familiar faces. They were eager to catch up, their questions and greetings a barrier he couldnât easily cross. He tried to be polite, nodding and offering half-hearted responses, all the while his mind remained focused on you.
Meanwhile, you navigated the church grounds with a heavy heart, your steps driven by a desperate need for solitude. You approached your father with a feigned urgency. âPapa, I need to leave early. I have a test tomorrow and I need a book from the library,â you said, your voice trembling slightly but with a determined edge.
Your father, engrossed in the after-church festivities, waved you off with little more than a distracted nod. âAlright, just be back before dark,â he called after you, his attention already shifting back to the conversation he was engaged in.
With a sigh of relief, you made your way to the edge of the church grounds, your thoughts a tangled mess of despair and shame. The path to the lake felt like a journey through an emotional wilderness. Each step seemed to echo the emptiness inside you, the trees and underbrush closing in like the walls of your own confinement.
As you walked, the weight of your thoughts felt like an oppressive fog, obscuring any sense of clarity or peace. The forest surrounding the path seemed to mirror your inner turmoilâdark, tangled, and impenetrable. The chirping of distant birds and the rustling leaves became a muted symphony to your solitary reflection, their sounds like distant whispers of a world you felt disconnected from.
Reaching the lake, you sank down onto the grassy bank, the weight of the past weeks pressing heavily on your shoulders. The waterâs surface was a mirror of your own fractured soulârippled and distorted, reflecting the tangled mess of your emotions. You fished out a crumpled pack of cigarettes and a flask from beneath your jacket, your hands shaking slightly. The cigarettes were a crutch, a way to cope with the stress that had become almost unbearable.
Lighting a cigarette, you took a long drag, the smoke curling up into the air like a wisp of your own troubles being released. You retrieved the flask, unscrewing the cap and taking a swig of the whiskey you had managed to sneak away. The warmth of the alcohol spread through you, a fleeting comfort in the midst of your turmoil. It was a bitter solace, a way to dull the sharp edges of your pain, but it never truly erased the deep ache within.
The lake, now dimming in the encroaching twilight, seemed to embrace your solitude. Its surface reflected the last rays of sunlight, shimmering like scattered fragments of hope amidst the darkness. You leaned back, the grass beneath you soft and cool, the calmness of the lake providing a deceptive sense of tranquility.
As you looked out over the water, your thoughts drifted like the gentle ripples across the lakeâs surface. The recent events played out in your mind like a series of shadowy figures, each one a reminder of how your life had spiraled into this moment of isolation and despair. You clung to the fleeting moments of numbness provided by the whiskey and smoke, trying to drown out the crushing weight of your reality.
Joel, meanwhile, managed to extricate himself from the crowd of well-wishers. His concern for you was a constant pull, a magnetic force guiding him towards you. As he scanned the area around the church, his eyes caught sight of your disappearing figure, and he felt a renewed urgency to follow.
The lake stretched out before you, its surface a placid mirror reflecting the fading light of day. The gentle rustle of leaves and the distant calls of birds seemed like distant echoes compared to the chaos in your mind. You lay on the grass, feeling the cool, damp earth beneath you, and the weight of Jamie Leeâs presence still heavy on your soul. Each ripple in the lake's surface seemed to mimic the turbulent waves of your thoughtsâcrashing, receding, only to rise again with relentless force.
You had managed to slip away from the crowd, the world around you feeling far removed from the comforting isolation you sought. As you stared out over the lake, the thoughts of Jamieâs unwelcome reappearance, the haunting memories, and the crushing fear of being trapped in this endless cycle of pain and shame twisted through your mind. You were desperate for a way out, a new beginning, a place where you could shed the weight of your past and start anew. But for now, all you could do was lie there, the whispers of the forest around you a faint consolation against the storm within.
Then, breaking through the oppressive silence, a voice reached you. "Thought I found you here."
The sound of Joelâs voice was a stark contrast to the turmoil you felt inside. You turned slowly, your heart pounding as you saw him emerging from the trees. His presence was a tether to reality, grounding you amidst the chaos. His gaze was soft but intense, filled with a concern that seemed to pierce through the veil of your anguish.
Joel walked over to you with deliberate steps, his expression a mix of determination and empathy. He settled beside you on the grass, his body language a silent promise of protection and understanding. The familiarity of his presence was both a comfort and a reminder of the stark contrast between your own inner darkness and his unwavering support.
âYou okay?â he asked, his voice gentle but laced with genuine worry.
You didnât immediately respond, the weight of your emotions rendering you almost speechless. The silence stretched between you, a fragile bridge spanning the gap between your fractured state and his steady presence. Joelâs eyes, dark and intense, held yours with an unwavering focus, as if trying to read the secrets written in your sorrow.
âI donât know how to make it stop,â you finally said, your voice trembling. âEverything feels like itâs falling apart, and I keep trying to run away from it. But every time I think Iâm getting away, it all just catches up with me.â
Joelâs expression was a mix of deep concern and frustration as he watched you struggle to keep your composure. âIâm here for you,â he said softly, his voice carrying a weight of earnest reassurance.
As Joel reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder, you flinched as though struck, your body reacting involuntarily to the touch. Joel pulled his hand back, a flash of confusion crossing his face. âHey, whatâs goinâ on?â he asked, his tone gentler now. âWhatâs wrong?â
You quickly shook your head, trying to mask the truth. âItâs nothing, Joel. Iâm fine,â you insisted, though the tremor in your voice betrayed your distress.
Joelâs eyes narrowed with concern. It was clear to him that there was more to your reaction than you were letting on. âYouâre not fine,â he said firmly. âYou're hidin' something, let me see your back,"
âIâm fine, Joel,â you insisted, trying to back away from him. Your voice was steadier now, but your heart was racing.
Joelâs face was set in grim determination. âNo, youâre not. If you donât show me, Iâm gonna keep pushinâ. I can see it in your eyesâyouâre in pain, and I need to know why.â
When you continued to resist, Joelâs frustration reached its peak. âYou gotta trust me,â he said, his voice harsh but filled with a desperate edge.
Unable to bear his insistence any longer, you shouted, âJoel, stop! I said Iâm fine!â The raw pain and fear in your voice were undeniable, and Joelâs eyes softened for a moment, but his resolve remained unshaken.
Joelâs expression hardened. âIâm not lettinâ this go,â he said firmly. He gently but firmly reached for the hem of your dress, pulling it down further to expose the scars on your back. His movements were deliberate and careful, but his eyes were filled with a cold intensity that brooked no argument.
As he revealed the cruel marks etched into your skin, his anger became more apparent. His gaze swept over the scarsâlong, angry lines, some still raw and others faded but no less painful. Each mark told a story of suffering, and Joelâs jaw clenched in response.
Joelâs eyes darkened, his voice strained with barely controlled rage. âWho did this to you?â he asked, his tone growing colder with each word. âWho did this to you?"
"It's... It's my father," you replied, your voice barely more than a whisper. The confession felt like a stone lodged in your throat, its weight choking you.
Joel closed his eyes momentarily, fighting to contain the storm of anger threatening to erupt. His fists clenched at his sides, his jaw working as he muttered curses under his breath. The fury simmering just below the surface was palpable.
âHow long has this been goinâ on?â he asked, his voice hoarse with emotion. âHow long have you been dealinâ with this?â
âSince forever,â you said quietly, your shoulders sagging under the weight of your admission.
"Does your mother know?" Joel asked, you nodded.
âMy mother knows, but sheâs too scared to do anything. Itâs... ironic, really. Just a few months ago, he was giving advice to Tommy about parenting, acting like some holy figure, but he's nothing but a hypocrite.â You try to lighten up.
Joelâs face contorted with a mix of disbelief and disgust. He stood abruptly, his movements sharp and decisive.
You scrambled to your feet, desperation gripping you. âJoel, where are you going?! please,â you said, your voice trembling. âDonât do anything. Please, just let it be. This is my fault. I made him angry. I deserve this. Please, donât make it worse. I canât handle more trouble.â
Joelâs gaze was intense, his anger still visible but mixed with concern. âAre you fucking crazy?!â he shouted, his voice echoing across the still lake. âThis ainât your fault!â His outburst was raw, his frustration spilling over.
You flinched, your body instinctively drawing back from the intensity of his anger. The sudden surge of emotion was overwhelming, and you could feel the fear rise in your chest, a cold shiver racing down your spine.
Joelâs expression softened as he saw your reaction, his own anger faltering in the face of your fear. He took a deep breath, trying to regain control. âIâm sorry," he said, his voice rough but gentler now. âI didnât mean to scare you. Itâs just... seeing what heâs done to you...â
You took a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself. âI know, I know, Joel,â you whispered. âI just donât know how to handle this. Iâm scared, and I feel like everythingâs falling apart.â
Joelâs eyes, usually so guarded, now reflected a rare vulnerability. âYou donât need to be scared,â he said, his voice softer, like a steady hand in the darkness. âIâm here for you."
The night air felt colder, but Joelâs presence was a warm, unspoken promise. His rough exterior hid a well of compassion, and though he struggled to find the right words, his actions spoke volumes. He gently pressed his forehead to yours, their breaths mingling in the space between them. âIâll keep you safe,â he vowed, his voice a low murmur. âI promise,"
The contact of his forehead against yours was a silent, grounding connection. It was a gesture filled with the weight of his resolve and the depth of his commitment. The orange sky seemed to hold its breath, the world narrowing down to the two of you in that fragile moment of solace.
âWhy are you doing this?â you asked softly, your voice tinged with confusion and vulnerability. âWhy are you helping me like this?â
Joel pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his eyes searching for the right words. He honestly didnât know, not really, why he felt this way. Why the protective instinct was so strong, why his heart ached with a depth he hadnât felt before. This wasnât like his feelings for Ellie or Sarah; it was different, an enigma wrapped in the folds of his hardened exterior. He was trying to piece it together, to make sense of the emotions that seemed to defy all his usual defenses.
Inside your head, the sensation was equally foreign but profoundly powerful. It was as if, for the first time, you were standing on the edge of a cliff, gazing at an ocean of comfort and care you had only ever dreamed of. The feelings you had longed for, the protection and the tenderness, were now here, enveloping you like a warm, protective cocoon. The stark contrast between this new sense of safety and the pain you had endured made the emotions even more intense.
Joelâs presence was like a lighthouse in a storm, a beacon that cut through the darkness of your fears and insecurities. The connection between you was electric, a thread that wove itself into the very fabric of your being. It was as if every touch, every glance, was an echo of a deep-seated need for solace and understanding. In his gaze, you found not just protection but a promise of something more, something you had never allowed yourself to fully believe in.
As the sky deepened around you, the intimacy of the moment became undeniable. You wanted to close the distance, to feel the warmth of his lips against yours, to make this bond even more tangible. But there was a hesitationâa barrier of years and experiences, a chasm you werenât sure you could or should cross. Joel was older, a figure who had always seemed out of reach, yet now he was the focal point of a desire that was both thrilling and terrifying.
In your mind, the longing was like a fragile flower blossoming in the darkâa tender, delicate thing that had been waiting for the right moment to bloom. You felt a pull toward him that went beyond mere comfort; it was a magnetic force that drew you closer, promising a kind of connection you hadnât thought possible.
You wanted to kiss him, to bridge the gap between what was and what could be, but the uncertainty lingered. Would he reciprocate, or would the age difference and the complexities of your feelings stand in the way? The desire was there, shimmering like moonlight on still water, but you were unsure if this was a path you should walk or a dream too fragile to grasp.
Joel's presence was an anchor, grounding you in a moment of clarity and vulnerability. The depth of what you felt for him was new and frightening, like navigating a starless sea in search of a shore you hoped existed. In the silence that followed, you could almost hear the unspoken questions hanging in the air between you, a testament to the complex dance of emotion and need that neither of you could fully understand but both could feel.
Driven by the raw need to bridge the chasm between what was and what could be, you made a sudden, bold decision. You leaned in, closing the distance between you with a desperate and trembling kiss.
The moment your lips met his, Joelâs eyes widened in shock. He had not expected this, and for a heartbeat, he was paralyzed, caught between instinct and confusion. It felt like an electric jolt had surged through him, awakening something deep and primal. His heart raced, and his breath hitched as he processed the reality of your kiss.
But as the shock wore off, something else stirred within himâa burgeoning need that mirrored your own. The kiss, so raw and honest, ignited a flame that Joel had long kept buried under layers of grief and stoicism. He felt the world narrow to just the two of you, a universe where the complexities of age and propriety faded into insignificance.
Without fully realizing it, Joel responded with a fervor that surprised even him. His hands cupped your face gently but firmly, drawing you closer. The kiss deepened, becoming more urgent and passionate, a dance of newfound desire and connection. It was as if each touch, each movement, was a revelation, a discovery of a shared longing that neither of you had fully acknowledged until this very moment.
Joel's kiss was eager, almost desperate. The way he pulled you closer, the intensity of his touchâit was as if he was trying to anchor himself to this fragile but profound connection. His initial shock gave way to an overwhelming need to reciprocate, to explore the emotions that had been unearthed by your bold move.
For both of you, this kiss was a turning point, a leap into a new realm of intimacy and understanding. It was more than just physical; it was an acknowledgment of the depth of feeling that had been building between you. The night around you seemed to hold its breath, as if waiting for this moment to solidify into something undeniably real.
When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, your faces flushed with a mix of exhilaration and uncertainty. Joelâs gaze was softer now, his eyes reflecting a blend of awe and desire. He reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, his touch tender.
âDoll,â Joel said, his voice a rough whisper as he pulled back slightly. âIâm sorry, Joel.â The realization of what had just happened washed over you like a cold wave, leaving you feeling vulnerable and uncertain.
Joel shook his head gently, his gaze steady and reassuring. âNo, itâs okay,â he said, his tone firm yet tender. âItâs okay. you're alright, you'll be fine, I promise."
You nodded, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. The sky was growing darker, the first hints of night casting long shadows across the lake. You knew you needed to head back before your fatherâs anger took a new form, a punishment you feared more than the quiet storm that had just passed between you and Joel.
Joelâs hand lingered on your shoulder, his grip warm and steady. âDo you want a ride back?â he asked, his concern evident.
âNo, itâs alright,â you replied, shaking your head with a small, weary smile. âJust⌠go back to the church. Say goodbye to everyone, Joel.â
Joel hesitated, his expression a mix of reluctance and understanding. âAlright,â he said, but before turning to go, you couldnât help but add a touch of humor to lighten the mood.
âHey, are you gonna become a regular at the church again?â you said, forcing a grin. âYouâve been MIA for years, and now you show up just to connect with me? Whatâs next, a testimonial about divine intervention?â
Joel chuckled, the sound a rare and genuine escape from the weight of the moment. âI wouldnât hold my breath,â he replied with a wry smile. âBut maybe Iâll drop by once in a while, if only to make sure youâre still alright.â
You both shared a brief, understanding smile. It was a fleeting but comforting connection amidst the chaos of emotions and revelations.
Before parting ways, Joel gave you a warm hug, his embrace firm yet tender. He pulled back slightly and placed a soft kiss on your cheek, a gesture that carried more warmth and affection than words could convey. It was a promise, a silent vow of protection and care, even if he wasnât entirely sure of the depths of his own feelings.
âStay safe,â Joel said, his voice gentle but earnest. âIâll see you around.â
As Joel walked away, his figure blending into the shadows, you turned and began your journey back home. The cool night air brushed against your skin, a stark contrast to the warmth that Joel had left behind. The path ahead was dimly lit by the moonlight, each step resonating with a mix of hope and uncertainty.
In your mind, the nightâs events replayed like a vivid dream. The touch of Joelâs hand, the tenderness of his kiss, and the tangled emotions you felt were all swirling together, creating a new and unfamiliar reality. You felt like you had crossed a threshold, where the lines between safety and danger, affection and fear, had become blurred.
The lake, once a silent witness to your sorrow, now seemed like a distant memory. It was as if you had left it behind, stepping into a new world where the echoes of the night and the promise of something different lingered like a soft whisper.
As you entered your home, the weight of the nightâs revelations settled heavily on your shoulders. Each step felt like a delicate balance between the pain you had known and the uncertain hope that now lay ahead. Today had ended with its own kind of twilight, a space between the darkness of the past and the uncertain dawn of the future.
#dbf!joel miller x reader#pedro pascal x reader#joel miller#pedro pascal#joel miller x reader#the last of us#pedro pascal smut#joel miller smut#the last of us hbo#tlou#dbf!joel#dark!joel miller x reader#joel miller the last of us#joel miller x you#tommy miller#ellie williams#joel miller hbo#joel miller tlou#ethel cain#lana del rey#southern gothic
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hello!!! Intro time!!!
Hi!!! Call me anything.
I steal names!
If you want your names removed, reblog/send ask/ privately message me! I answer anons so itâs hard to sort through who is okay with it.
Give me your name. Or someone elseâs. Iâm not picky.
names Iâve stolen: (will tag if they have blogs+who gave it to me if it was someone else)
Noah 1
bugg 2
Oakley :3
Rebekah (from @biggesthuskersimp589)4
Willow (^^)5
Lewis (^^^)6
Olivia(^^^^)7
all of @river-nonbinary-billcipherfan nicknames! 8
Samah! ( @that-0ne-sam)9
Bill Cipher! ( @billcipher-rpblog)10
Maryland! ( @maryland-officially)11
Hawaii! ( @hawaii-official)12
Lep! ( @leprechaun-stealerofgold)13
Squeaky! ( @postalignments)14
James! ( @more-trans-beans) 15
Pyramid Steve! (From @billcipher-rpblog, taken from @i-amsteve)16
Khriz! (From @the-lunacy-system taken from @khrizantema9869)17
Kaitlyn! ( @literal-trans-beans)18
buck! (By @17ghostsinatrenchcoat)19
Alivia! (^^)20
Cataclysm, Nibiru, Roav, 7-3, Ălr, nobaru! ( @planet-of-cataclysm)26
Holden! ( @hadoom) 27
quinn, ruin, yuri, and nikolai! ( @throat0fdelusion)31
penny, Margret, Samantha, Emu, and Warren! ( @pennyroyald)36
silver & milky! ( @official-milky-way)38
anon (anon) 39
PSR J0437-4715 & 1rxs. ( @1rxs-offical) 41
Rian (taken permanently from @river-nonbinary-billcipherfan) 42
neon! ( @neoninglitchen) 43
Katelyn ( @katiewolf) 44
banana, mango, grape, orange, melon, and lemon ( @fruit-tree-system) 50
Monaco ( @officially-monaco)51
peachy ( @importantpeachfury) 52
Colorado ( @colorado-real)53
Oregon ( @oregon-officially)54
North Carolina ( @the-fr-north-carolina-totally)55
Michigan ( @michagan-the-state)56
Violet ( @violetthediamondsblog)57
Vitreous ( @vitreous-official)58
faye! ( @f4y3w00d5)59
Misa! ( @minimuppetmisa)60
nÉĘÉĆ/ÎłnnÉÉƧ ( @â´âľâłâŚâŚÉâ´-฿âłâľâ) 62
Liechtenstein ( @offical-liechtenstein)63
JalapeĂąo ( @floatingcamel23)64
Logan (permanently taken from @pennyroyald) 65
Rachel Roth ( @half-a-goat)66
Dubois (anon) 67
unknown entity of darkness ( @unknown-entity-tm) 68
Rose/Róşa, Minty, Kali, Noodle, & Thing. ( from @blog-of-some-dummies given by @pennyroyald) 73
In-n-out burger ( @in-n-out-burger-official) 74
Diafain (anon) 75
đđ (anon) 76
Tori Simons (anon)77
Felhair de Ziaman ( @pennyroyald) 78
Britain ( @real-british-empire) 79
Carl Fredrick Wilhelm Johannes Maximillian Napoleon Zeus von Neumann the Amazing the Great the Protector of Domestic Tranquillity, ForMemRS. (Anon) 80
Zero ( @z3r0th3h3r0) 81
Tereza (permanently taken from anon) 82
marsh,syll,silk , mallow, mochi, pastel, lucid, Celes, Limetta, maria, Felix, theo, Axel, alex, aqua, nova, aster, caelus, Doku, Aurous, ann, lucas, luca, lucean, jack, phi, ray, peace, alba, chaos, tart, cake, Led, Charlie, Lamba, Xeno! (Anon) 118
Snow ( @sn0w-o) 119
Fiona, Talia, Mable, Boa, Egg, Clise, Pancake, Hypnos, Elysia, Seraphina, Agnes, Marceline, Claire, Noelle, butterscotch, frigg, soup, strawberry, marsia, beate, makoto, sock, bug, Florian, bea, Rosalina, marinella, Finka, nada, Yuri, sky, Olivia, fischl, cinnamon, amity, Ada, Lenora, Aida, Romy, Lys, Eliana, Cherie, ocÊane, Esther, marcille, Astrid, Clara, Lacey, flowers, natsuki, sayori, Petra, Aphrodite, hatsune, crimson, viola, Jenny, juniper, Annie, marie,Tina, kanaya, Callie, Bonnie, Velma, Phoebe, Sabrina, Tori, Natalie, Kim, love, Corey, Courtney, misty, Yasmin, Laika, Tabitha, primrose, Beatrice, circe, johnette, temmie, gumi, himiko, Anne, nessa, Sonia, akane, Diane, Miku, merlin, adagia, miyu, aradia, Illya, azure, maya, Mira, marina, Andromeda, Alya, Stella, celestia, Celeste, nova, Lyra, hope, April, pearl, amber, violet, Kirra, clover, iris, calliope, blossom, Millie, tulip, Bibi, amy, Reyna, ambrosia, page, Leah, Charlie, Lilith, ellsee, maki, edeustus, ellie, Samantha, Amelia, Tiffany, Alyssa, Luna, caoimhe, Judith, Natalie, kumatora, aurelie, Kate, moon, nerisse, serenity, Lara, Sarina, Vanessa, Monica, cherry, Helena, Sophia, tiki, luzia, Laura, Juliette, aurora, corrin, annette, Hilda, madalena, Anna, ivy, Cynthia, byleth, caeda, Alexandrea, chell, Maria, mia, Katie, Veronica, Susie, comet, Jessica, eve, Eva, vivisection, heather, Donna, winona, guinivere, Roxanne, Lillian, Octavia, Êtolie, Marnie, Gaia, daisy, desura, amnesia, sunny, clementine, bocchi, Cara, Agatha, Evelyn, angèle, Louisa, Camila, roseline, louane, Averie, Melina, Lena, minthe, Emma, acorn, Cassandra, bread, willow, raven, kali, Sappho, harmony, mango, Hellan, Katelyn, aria, Elyse, Marnie, blanche, frasie, Freya, Charlotte, amandine,  Vivian, Sylvia, Sarah, Jane, Ashley, Mongolia, Alice, Sydney, pikachu, Michelle, Gowan, Madeline, Ellen, Marissa, Lana, Lilly, Ella, rose, may, Ramona, melody. ( @bitch-with-some-4000-names) 363
Tera , elfilin , carol, taranza ( @tmhj) 367)
ash ( @i-give-worms) 368
Jayne bishop ( @thegreatgeodo) 369
Josie & Scarlett ( @knight-real) 371
sir A. Goetia. ( @pennyroyald) 372
swiper ( @mronion) 373
grammarly ( @unofficially-grammarly) 374
Walmart ( @walmart-the-official)375
Whataburger ( @whataburger-possibly-official) 376
VemĂśdalen ( @no-such-thing-as-originality) 377
Sydney (Anon) 378
roselyn (anon) 379
Saioa (anon) 380
hygiea 10 ( @hygiea-official)381
Alex, Allen, Asher, Caelus, Calxe, Dalisay, Ennui, Fae, Joy, Kai, Li, Liit, Loe, Mia, Nemo, Nihil, NoĂŤl, Oakley, Pelex, Sasha, Somnus, Tama, Ramasses, Rin, Rowan, Willow, Zephyr, Zora ( @joyliit) 401
Alexandria (taken permanently from ^^)402
James/jamie and Martin/marty ( @throat0fdelusion) 404
Caesar & Charlie ( @caesars-crazed-ramblings) 406
Cosmo or Nyx! ( @spacecatdraws) 408
Africa ( @pennyroyald) 409
choccy milk, shortcake, cakepop, mossy ( @analog-autistic) 413
Michael (anon)414
Sally (anon) 415
blue (anon)416
William Shakespeare (<-never heard of the guy/j) ( @shakespeare-official-account) 417
Haejin Min ( @the-name-gifter) 418
fae ( @the-name-asker) 419
vee ( @urlocaldisaster) 420 (hehe)
Dr. Graves ( @the-gimmick-scp-researcher) 421
Zeus (anon) 422
Copi-Copi, Elemento, Adjetivo, Mente en Blanco, Chaucha, Yo Soy, Calugoso, Duquesa, Reina, Coliforme, Tepo-Tepo, Yo no Fui, Fierro Malo, Palmerita, Neumatex, Cortachurro, EtcĂŠtera, MaletĂn, Duque, GuasĂłn, Jefe, Moneda, Cucky, Pelusa, TĂa, Legui, Reality, Chester, Chu, Ro, Playita, Palmera, SeĂąor, Re Frito, Pescado, Chamuyo, Calendario, James Bond, Rata, Cabeza de Chaya, NeumĂĄtico, Repetido, AĂąico, Rucia, Gonzo, Chino, CortĂŠz, Albertito, Also, Cabecita, Bigote and Mutante (anon)
jaiden and blook ( @blookdoeswhatever, @jaidentheautisticwurm) 424
jaya (anon)425
erik ( @glitched-out-mess) 426
Caoimhe, Saoirse, Niamh, Ciara, RoisĂn, Darragh, Meabh, Aoife, Eoghan, OisĂn, Fionn, Siobhan, Tagdh, Donncha, Aisling, Sadhbh, Muireann, Doireann, Sorcha, SĂle and Aoibhe ( @can-i-explode-now)447
corabella (anon) 448
john smith (anon) 449
449
6/50 states
Items:
frog
worms x3
an Olive Garden I guess???
(Ooc: ^^the blog persona)
(Ooc: the blog persona (not mod) is pansexual, pangender, and demisexual! They like sewing and stealing names.)
(if you see me put your name on my main no you didnât
my main is @buggz-owlz)
names that are given to us will be under #name giver
and names we steal will be under #name stealer
all asks will be under #name stealer questions
colors are just random colors we associate with the name given.
thatâs all for now! Bye!
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Hearing A Noise! Professor Atka Sergei Natquik ====================
Grrrrrrrrrr, I love him sm grrrrrrrrr
Natquik : His design has changed a hundred times through my time drawing Octonauts, and at first he was albino, then he wasn't, then he was again, and so and so on. But the more I thought of it, I didn't like his design, although I did enjoy the albinism part, so it stuck around to be strictly "Ocular Albinism," which only affects the eyes and is consistent with his species, because Arctix foxes have poor eyesight. He wears snow goggles most of the time to help his eyes out (it's what he's holding in the artwork).
I also thought about how I was going by "their skintone represents their fur/animal skin" so I finally decided I'd make him a grey-ish dark hue to match Peso and Barnacles (and the other bears). I just made everything a little more de saturated, and I finally got an outcome that I love! He is adorable and baby and itty bitty and old and a sweet heart <33
Now for a bit of LORE because he's honestly one of my favorite characters, and I have yet to talk about his lore :
He is of mixed Russian and Chuckchi (Siberian Natives, technically different from Inuit but similar) blood, Chuckchi on his mother's side, and Russian on his father's. He speaks both languages fluently, along with English, but when alone or with the bears/close friends (Octo-Dads included), he prefers his native tongues. His Native name, "Atka," means "guardian spirit," and his Russian name, "Sergei," means "protector." His parents (and me) thought it would be a poetic touch to be promised protection and the strength to protect others in both of his cultures.
In his youth (16-19) years, he lives isolated in the Siberian tundra with his parents and siblings, but he has always enjoyed exploring the farther reaches of his homeland. So, while wandering one day, he came across a group of explorers from England, and during their stay, they taught him English and sparked his interest in a life beyond the Arctic. So, at 19, he traveled back to England with the explorers and went to college to become a professor [he used to be more in touch with the explorers, but now they have all gone]. After that was when he returned to the Arctic and became the Polar Bear Scouts Leader and taught Barns and the other bears until he quit (shortly after Tracker joined, and when Barns was 16) and vanished without a trace. Barns, of course, was extremely upset, but Natquik, seeing him as a son-figure, left him a note explaining that "why I left is not your fault, but just know that I will be fine and that I will always miss you."
Why he left only he knows, even to the modern day. Barns wants to ask, but because of how modern-day Natquik has.... kinda lost it (isolation for 30 years will do that you) he doesn't for fearing of breaking Natquik more. In the present day [60 years old], Natquik is paranoid, skittish, and prone to panic attacks, but well-meaning, cheery, and ready to help. He loves his new job as an Ocotagent but worries himself sick he's doing it all wrong (again, he forgot how to socialize. It was isolation's fault).
He prefers his alone time and personal space while having no sense of it for others. He's clingy, especially with loved ones (ships and canon relationships), and calls Barnacles nearly every night just to talk. It keeps him sane.
This was all very headcanon-y and self-indulgent, but I'm having fun and doing my best to stick to canon personalities, albeit with a bit of offscreen â¨ď¸flavor.â¨ď¸
====================
@snowy-yoshi figured I'd mention you because you like the Professor, too ^-^
Of course, I'd get my spark for art back right as friggin' school is about to start back up again đ
#octonauts#octonauts fanart#octonauts above and beyond#octonauts above and beyond fanart#octonauts au#calamaroo's au#octonauts professor natquik#professor natquik#i love that stupid old russian man you go goofy guy yeaaahh#hes so silly aaauuuhghhhhhghgfhhhff#(holds gently before shoving in my mouth and gnawing) /aff
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Requests are open.
Sneak Peaks
Obsessed
Series
Antisocial Bookworm, Confessions of the Heart
Traitor, Dandelion, The Battle (new 7/12)
The Argument, Reflection
Dance Class 101, Beautiful Swan, The Waltz
Guilty As Sin, Part Two
Obsessed, Part Two, Part Three
One-Shots
Moral of the Story
Yule Ball
Temptation
Why Me?
Spin The Bottle
Her
His Nightmare
Don't Do It
Catching Feelings
What's Mine Is Mine
The Prank/Do Revenge
Moments #1/Moments #2 (new 7/12)
Or Something
He's So Annoying/He's Not So Bad (18+) (new 27/11)
Christmas Wish (new 25/12)
Just His Best Friend (new 4/1)
One-Shots
Chaos
Sneak Peaks
He's My Husband, I'm His Wife
Look Who's Jealous Now
Benny x Married Plus!Size Reader (new 27/1)
Series
Angel on Wheels - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (On Hold)
Spitfire - She's A Spitfire, He's My Husband, I'm His Wife, Leavin' On Your Mind, I'm Sorry Baby, Vandal Family Picnic (inprogress)
One-Shots
Spark
Diner Girl
Jealousy Does Look Good On You/Look Who's Jealous Now
Warm Lazy Summer Day's
Birthday Girl
Choices
His Hands
Drinks/Persistent/Insane/Ride
All I Dream Of / Easy On My Eyes / Mr Sandman / My Girl / Wish I Were Her
Fall Time
Late Night Moments
Two Worlds
I Want You (18+)/I Need You (18+)
Halloween Carnival
Insecurities/I Want All Of You (18+)/Mini Dress (18+)/Protector (new 12/1)
Car Trouble
Heart Felt Gifts (new 24/12)
My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys/When He's Gone/Missing Him/Her Was Dark Grey (new 26/1)
Foolish (18+)(new 1/2)
His Girl
Sneak Peak
His Girl (2/12 new)
Series
Untitled
One-Shots
Rumours/MIA/Return
His Girl (18+) (new 5/12)
Series
Little Bird - Part One / Part Two (new 16/11)
Request Here
Benny Cross - The Bikeriders
In The Rain, Kiss of Life
In The Rain, Kiss of Confessing Feelings
#mattheo x reader#masterlist#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle x fem!reader#benny cross x reader#benny cross x y/n#benny cross x you#cal x reader#the bikeriders cal#buck x reader#gale cleven x you#gale cleven x reader
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I'd Die (Again) for Y'all part 16
Masterlist
Danny woke up clinging to a bare sliver of bed, held in place by slim, strong arms wrapped around him. It took his confused brain a few minutes to figure out what was going on. Right. Even though it had been early, he, Tim, and Jason had all dozed off together after some truly epic sex.
He had thought to slip away and let them have the bed (he still didn't know how they'd all fit on it), but Tim had quickly squashed that idea. "No sneaking off," he'd said muzzily and wrapped his arms around Danny's waist even as he fell asleep.
Those same arms were still wrapped around Danny now but he thought he might be able to slip out without disturbing anyone else.
The moment he started to move, those arms tightened. "Where are you going?" Tim mumbled in Danny's ear.
"Nowhere, I guess."
"Damn right," Jason growled from the other side of the bed. "No more running, Protector."
Danny sighed and relaxed back onto the bed. "I wasn'tâŚ"
Tim rolled over, taking Danny with him, and suddenly Danny was pinned between him and Jason.
"You were running last night, weren't you?" Tim asked sadly. "As soon as you thought we were okay without you, you were gone."
Danny cringed. He hadn't thought of it that way, had just been trying to not intrude, but he could see howâŚ
"You been doing nothing but running and fighting for years now," Jason said, nuzzling at Danny's neck. "We get it. But you promised me, Protector."
"Yeah," Danny's breath hitches, "Yeah, I know. And I won't. Or⌠I don't mean to, I justâŚ
"No more running, Danny," Tim murmured, and leaned over to kiss him. "We aren't letting you go."
Danny finally let himself relax back on the bed. "No more running. But what are you going to do with me then?"
Jason and Tim smirked at each other before closing in.
From Sam Manson To Lois Lane Subject: Re: Ghost Boy says I'm not a fruitloop.
If you are lying I will make you regret the day you were born, and Superman himself will not keep you safe from my vengeance.
Call (xxx) xxx-xxxx at 8am Central Time tomorrow. I'll give you one hour.
In the dark of night, Cyborg watched through remotes as Flash approached one of the sites they had identified as a GIW operation. The plan was infiltrate and harass. They didn't want a full war with the GIW, they wanted to shut them down legally and peacefully.
That was the theory anyway. After seeing the medical reports on Phantom Cyborn wouldn't have been very disappointed if they ended up attacking the GIW directly.
From what little they'd been able to find, they thought this location was for weapons testing and development. On the surface, it looked like any other industrial park, but when Cyborg turned /his/ sensors on it, it was obviously nothing of the sort.
Flash was a fast bugger, no way Cyborg's remotes could keep up. But that was okay. He kept his remotes stationed on perimeter, watching for anyone who might show up unexpectedly. One of the Lantern's, John Stewart, was above, ready to come bursting in if Flash needed backup.
Cyborg gave Flash the 'go' and the speedster took off, racing over the perimeter fence and into the building. A moment later, Cyborg picked up a new wifi signal from within the building. Flash had gotten him access. Cyborg immediately uploaded one of his specialized viruses into the comptures and began downloading any and all files he could find.
"Oh my god, Cyborg."
Flash's voice, over the comm. Fuck. This was supposed to be a silent mission.
"What's wrong?"
"Their weapons' testing? They're testing them on living⌠er⌠existing beings."
"WHAT!"
"They have⌠these little glowing blob creatures? Dozens of them trapped in these containers. I can't just leave them here."
"I'm going in," Stewart said. Cyborg waved him on.
Animal experimentation? For ghosts?
Cyborg remembered again Phantom's injuries and shuddered. "Keep your eyes out, Flash. Find every, and I mean /every/ location they may be hiding their subjects.
"I'm calling in back up."
By dawn, the GIW base didn't exist any longer. From roof to sub-sub-sub basement it had been pulled apart. The captive creatures -- the Flash's immense relief they never found anything other than those creatures -- had been relocated and Dr. Atom and Flash were tearing through the GIW files trying to figure out what they were and how to care for them.
For the time being, they were being held in one of the restricted portions of the Watchtower. They didn't seem in any pain or distress in their little containers, so the team had reluctantly decided to leave them there until they had more information. For all they new the little blobs needed something in those containers to surviveâŚ
Jason cursed sleepily as his phone rang. "What?"
"Hood."
"Fuck you." He was not dealing with Bruce at this fucking hour of the morning. Yesterday had been amazing. For once there had been no emergencies, no disasters. Just a whole day that he and Tim and Danny had been able to spend together, taking turns taking care of each other. God they were a messed up bunch, but by some miracleâŚ
"Hood."
"It's too goddamn early for your bullshit."
"I need to know if you are still on contact with him."
Jason rolled his eyes, and looked down to were Danny was sleepily cuddled up against him. "Yeah, I got a way to get a hold of him. But he's still not going to want anything to do with you assholes."
"Hh. Flash, Lantern Steward, and Cyborg took down a GIW base last night. They found⌠captives."
Jason bolted upright. "WHAT?!"
Danny was blinking up at him. Damnit.
"They appear to be a living blob. Atom and Flash believe they are some kind of ghostly animal. We need to know how to care for them and if it is safe to release them."
"Fine," Jason allowed himself a moment to glare at the phone. "I'll talk to him."
He hung and flopped back on the bed. "So⌠That was asshole with some news."
----
AN:
As usual, cleaned up version hits AO3 next week. Thanks so much for being patient with me the last year or so, but I am back and ready to write, so expect another update in two weeks.
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If it's okay can I request a yandere sir crocodile x single mother reader. I've been thinking about what would happen if the reader had a baby, like would they take the reader and leave the baby or take the reader and the baby. If they did take the baby what would happen, would they be mean to the baby, nice to the baby, or just distance. Would they become a platonic yandere. I'm so sorry if I already sent this in, I can't remember if I did or not.
Yeah I got the first one, but dw about it lol tumblr can get weird with asks anyway.
Rambling under the cut! Not sure if you meant literal baby, child is of ambiguous age but can talk.
Hoo boy you've handed me a rough one, huh? I don't think Croc is a kids guy. But I don't think he'd be outright horrible to a small, unthreatening child- if not because of standards, but because it just isn't worth his time or energy to direct actual hatred toward. Yes, he was willing to destroy a whole country and hundreds of lives which no doubt included children, but I think that degree of faceless separation is very different from looking at a kid directly and going "Yeah I'm gonna kill this. Personally. With my hands." Vivi was 16 and Luffy was 17 iirc but one is an important opposing political figure with crucial information on his misdeeds, and Luffy... is Luffy. Idk. What I'm saying is at the very least I don't see him being abusive or disposing of the child- he does like you, and that's a pretty surefire way to destroy you and any reason you have to cooperate.
It could be a "cooperate and your child remains happy/unharmed" situation but tbh I don't wanna write that. Child abuse is a topic I'm willing to touch on in specific circumstances, mostly backstory but I don't really want to write about canon characters doing it. So I simply won't lol. Reader inserts can be held against their will and mistreated but I don't want to involve a kid in that dynamic, so if I write something where the reader is caring for a kid (such as Galley on 4th) then the yandere in question does things through much softer more under-handed methods.
Honestly? The best way I see this working out is Pre-Alabasta arc where Crocodile is still seen as a hero by the masses. There's a good chance that, at least initially, his affections start and end with you. Is irritated if he finds out about the kid after he's decided that he likes you. But you- you're a little slice of domesticity, you fit into his life rather nicely, he thinks. Plus you and the brat help round out his image as a wholesome do-gooder, don't you? A protector of the people, and a loving husband and father to boot. The... dark parts of his business all swept under the rug and kept away from you both, of course.
His dates with you are no doubt extravagant, but he prefers your kid not accompany the two of you on these. Probably prefers to shower them in expensive gifts, rather than spend much one-on-one time with them. I think he could get attached but he'd be in denial about it for a bit. He's able to rationalize the lack of time spent with them to you, specifically in public- he's a notable figure, is he not? While he's a Warlord and could no doubt protect the both of you(his pride will NOT have you believe otherwise), he just doesn't want the risk. You're an adult with full comprehension of the possibility of being targeted, so it's different. He is a good actor, though. While he doesn't spend as much time with the kid, he's good enough that they don't feel actively disliked. A bit... put out, maybe. It's possible your kid just... thinks he's really cool, despite it. Mysterious, close yet distant, someone who makes mom happy and is the reason they both have all this nice stuff, now. Which can be annoying, but stroking the ego doesn't hurt the kid's case. Liking the bananawanis would score them a couple points too...
-
"Do you think I could, um, meet them sometime? Y'know, if you aren't busy..." Crocodile raises a brow, taking in the brat sitting in a chaise lounge chair. They're leaning forward, looking hopeful- swinging their little legs in anticipation. They look comically small compared to the chair. He chuckles, takes a drag of his cigar- turning his head away from the child to exhale. "...I'm not sure if I can do that without consulting your mother first," he muses, watching the kid visibly deflate. Even if he knows the bananawanis will listen to him, that they would pose no threat if he did not wish them to do so- he preferred you to be happy. Introducing your small child to the large, imposing reptiles used as guard-dogs behind your back would be unwise. "So I'm afraid you'll only be looking from a distance or through glass, unless we can get her approval. We could always ask though, hmm?" The kid grins at him- and Sir Crocodile feels a disquieting lack of disdain.
#one piece x reader#yandere one piece#... pretty light on the yandere tbh#basically he begins only treating the kid well to ensure your affections but starts liking them#for angst maybe he does finally start connecting with em only for the strawhats to finally rock up and expose everything with Vivi :')
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Green Tara Matrix Talon Abraxas
Green Tara Prayer
21 Praises of Tara
The 21 Praises of Tara is a series of verses that honor the 21 manifestations of Tara, each with specific attributes and benefits. These praises celebrate Taraâs various aspects, from providing protection to granting wisdom and compassion.
Verse 1: Swift and Heroic Tara (Nyurma Pamo)
"Homage to you, Tara, swift heroine, Your eyes like a flash of lightning, Your water-born face arises from the blooming lotus Of Avalokitesvara, protector of the three worlds."
Verse 2: White Tara (Yangchen Drolma)
"Homage to you, Tara, whose face is like One hundred full moons in autumn, Radiant with the dazzling light Of a thousand stars."
Verse 3: Golden Tara (SĂśnam Tobche)
"Homage to you, Tara, born from a golden-blue lotus, Your hands adorned with lotus flowers, You who are the embodiment of giving, joy, effort, Calm, asceticism, patience, and meditation."
Verse 4: Tara Who Dispels All Fears (Dudsol Dakyi Drolma)
"Homage to you, Tara, who crowns all Buddhas, Whose actions are endless, Who has attained every perfection, On whom the Bodhisattvas rely."
Verse 5: Tara Who Bestows Supreme Virtue (Jigten Sumle Gyälma)
"Homage to you, Tara, who fills the realms of desire, Form, and space with your splendor, You who have attained the pure essence Of the realm of non-attachment."
Verse 6: Tara Who Bestows Auspiciousness (Tashi Donje)
"Homage to you, Tara, adored by Indra, Agni, Brahma, Vayu, and Ishvara, And praised by the assembly of spirits, Raised corpses, and all yakshas."
Verse 7: Tara Who Dispels Darkness (Rabzhima)
"Homage to you, Tara, whose TRAT and PHAT Destroy entirely the magical wheels of others. With your right leg bent and left outstretched and pressing, You burn intensely within a whirl of fire."
Verse 8: Tara Who Brings Forth Light (Jigje Chenmo)
"Homage to you, Tara, the great fearful one, Whose letter TURE destroys the mighty demons completely, Who with a wrathful expression on your water-born face Slay all enemies without an exception."
Verse 9: Tara Who Accomplishes Goals (Tsugtor Namgyalma)
"Homage to you, Tara, whose fingers adorn your heart With the gesture of the sublime precious three; Adorned with a wheel striking all directions without exception With the totality of your own rays of light."
Verse 10: Tara Who Dispels Suffering (Sengdeng Nagchi Drolma)
"Homage to you, Tara, whose radiant crown ornament, Joyful and magnificent, extends a garland of light, And who, by your laughter of TUTTARA, Conquers all demons and gods of the world."
Verse 11: Tara Who Eliminates All Poison (Drolma Nyurma Pamo)
"Homage to you, Tara, who are able to invoke The entire assembly of local protectors, Whose wrathful expression fiercely shakes, Rescuing the impoverished through the letter HUNG."
Verse 12: Tara Who Provides Prosperity (Drolma Pagme Nyingje)
"Homage to you, Tara, whose crown is adorned With the crescent moon, wearing ornaments abundantly, You who have the potential to give The entire activity of the Buddha, with your two eyes."
Verse 13: Tara Who Averts War and Disputes (Drolma Magyalma)
"Homage to you, Tara, who dwells within a blazing garland That resembles the fire at the end of this world age; Surrounded by joy, you sit with your right leg extended And left withdrawn, completely destroying all the masses of enemies."
Verse 14: Tara Who Brings Rejoicing (Drolma Jigten Wangchugma)
"Homage to you, Tara, with your hand on the ground by your side, Pressing your heel and stamping your foot on the earth; With a wrathful glance from your eyes you subdue All seven levels through the syllable HUNG."
Verse 15: Tara Who Grants Long Life (Drolma Yullama)
"Homage to you, Tara, O happy, virtuous, and peaceful one, The very object of practice, passed beyond sorrow. You are perfectly endowed with SOHA and OM, Overcoming completely all the great evils."
Verse 16: Tara Who Removes All Obstructions (Drolma Jigten Sumle Gyalma)
"Homage to you, Tara, surrounded by the joyous ones, You completely subdue the bodies of all enemies; Your speech is adorned with the ten syllables, And you rescue all through the knowledge-letter HUNG."
Verse 17: Tara Who Protects From All Fears (Drolma Jigje Chempo)
"Homage to you, Tara, stamping your feet and proclaiming TURE. Your seed-syllable itself in the aspect of HUNG Causes Meru, Mandara, and the Vindhya mountains And all the three worlds to tremble and shake."
Verse 18: Tara Who Gives Joy and Strength (Drolma Sengdeng Nagchi Drolma)
"Homage to you, Tara, who holds in your hand The hare-marked moon like the celestial ocean. By uttering TARA twice and the letter PHAT You dispel all poisons without an exception."
Verse 19: Tara Who Dispels All Sorrow (Drolma Jigje Chenmo)
"Homage to you, Tara, upon whom the kings of the assembled gods, The gods themselves, and all kinnaras rely; Whose magnificent armor gives joy to all, You who dispel all disputes and bad dreams."
Verse 20: Tara Who Brings Complete Victory (Drolma Yullama)
"Homage to you, Tara, whose two eyes are like The purest sun and full moon, You who by uttering HARA twice and TUTTARA Dispels all violent epidemic disease."
Verse 21: Tara Who Is Beyond Suffering (Drolma Jigje Chenmo)
"Homage to you, Tara, adorned by the three suchnesses, Perfectly endowed with the power of serenity, You who destroy the host of evil spirits, raised corpses, and yakshas, O TURE, most exalted and sublime!"
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Lost (16) - Night of the Hunter
Tara Carpenter x female Reader
Summary: To anyone on the outside, and to Taraâs friends, you were Taraâs fierce protector, the MMA fighter whoâd take anyone on for Tara. The Guard Dog, as Amber called you. You had no idea youâd have to protect her from people who claimed they loved her. It didnât matter. As long as you and Tara had one another there was nothing you wouldnât be able to survive.
Story warnings: Scream violence, family issues, trauma, angst, certain sensitive topics
Word count: 5.5k
Story Masterlist / First part / Previous part / Next part
-Whatever you do, don't be afraid of the dark-
You lost count of how many times you looked at your phone in the last couple of hours, so you basically lost all the patience you had. You leaned on the kitchen counter and waited. "Come on, it's not that hard to pick up," you muttered as you tapped the fingers of your free hand on the kitchen counter, but much like the other two times you called earlier, Susan didn't answer her phone. "Hey, please call me when you see this, I'm getting worried. Ghostface is back, and I don't think you're in danger, but I'd feel better if you spent a few days at a neighbor's house or something," you decided to leave a message this time. "Be safe, love you, bye," you had no idea why you said those words, you never said them to Susan before, but somehow you just had the need to say them.
You should have said those words sooner, you loved Susan like a mother, hell she was the one and only person in the world you could consider your parent. You never said those words because you struggled to say them to anyone other than Tara. Years of only having a deep, emotional bond with Tara made it difficult to express yourself to anyone else, though you cared for a lot of people now. Well, a lot compared to before. You loved Susan, and Sam, and Chad and Mindy, and even though you didnât know her for long, you loved Anika as well. But saying it, even casually, felt almost impossible. Yet now it just slipped out.
Susan was going to get shocked when she hears that. She knew you loved her, even without you telling her, but you knew sheâd be happy to hear it.
"Susan still isn't answering her phone?" Tara approached you and you just nodded as she took your hand. If you weren't worried, you'd think the situation was funny, since the roles reversed as the day went on. When Susan first failed to answer her phone, you brushed it off as a hectic day at work and Tara was the one who got worried right away.
Then, when Susan didn't answer her phone the second time you found yourself assuring Tara she was okay, even if you were getting worried yourself. And now Tara was the one comforting you. "She's on the other side of the country, I doubt Ghostface would travel all the way to Sacramento," you said, but you could see the look in Tara's eyes. She saw right through you, sure, you wanted to reassure Tara as well, but those words, they were meant more for you. And you were still a hundred percent certain no one figured out she had anything to do with you.
"I'm sure she'll call you soon," Tara placed her hand on your left forearm, gently tracing random patterns across your skin. You relaxed significantly, choosing to remain in here and now with Tara instead of in different what-ifs your mind was making up. Tara wasn't the only one who found comfort and safety in your touches, you craved it just as much, relied on it just as much, so you placed your right hand on her waist and tugged her body closer to you. You just werenât as obvious as she was, or well, at least it took some time for your friends to figure out it wasnât just Tara that was touchy with you, so you guessed you werenât as obvious.
Tara smiled softly as she let you pull her in. Her left hand caressed your cheek, and it was so minute you doubted anyone but you or Sam could notice it, but there was the slightest tremor in her touch. It was getting a bit cold. You raised the hand that was previously resting on Tara's waist and placed it over her left hand to warm it up. âIâd be lost without you,â you whispered, kissing her palm as she smiled, she didnât need to say anything, her eyes told you all you needed to know, her eyes told you the feeling was mutual.
The sound of gagging made both of you roll your eyes, though you didnât separate from one another. "This is why I couldn't take living with you. It's either drama or sickly sweet with you and I could somewhat handle the drama," Mindy was being Mindy, teasing and complaining even if you and Tara knew she was, deep down, happy for you two.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, go cuddle with Anika," you smirked at Tara's words. Granted, Mindy and Anika weren't as touchy as you and Tara, but they were fairly sweet as well.
âHa! Donât even try to pull that one, T, Anika sitting on my lap, or me sitting on her lap is as rare as you not sitting on Y/Nâs lap,â Mindy fired back, luckily Tara was getting fairly immune to Mindyâs teasing.
âThereâs not much point in denying it,â she told you one time when you got worried Mindyâs teasing went too far. Tara just made sure you understood that she didnât care about the teasing as much as she used to. She was touchy, and clingy, and she couldnât and wouldnât even try to deny it. âIâm clingy and Iâm proud, besides, who wouldnât be in my position!â Tara declared boldly, and took a step back to gesture toward you with her hands.
You went to pour yourself a glass of water. âMaybe you should try snuggling with Anika more often, itâs relaxing to snuggle with someone you love,â you smirked before drinking a few sips of the water.
"Sure, I was going to do that, but you two missed my monologue, again," Mindy said, and you nodded a few times, silently accepting that this was happening. "Also, you were spared from Ethan's weird overshare that he's a virgin, and if we have to know so do you two," at that you had to groan.
"Not our business, Mindy," come on, you did not need to know that. You absolutely did not care one bit about how experienced anyone was. You wouldnât have even cared about Taraâs experience if she herself didnât tell you about it, mostly because she needed to get it off her chest.
"It wasn't our business either," she just deadpanned, as if that was actually a good excuse to go and share Ethanâs private information, that you didnât even ask for.
"So!" she ushered you and Tara to the table and from the corner of your eye you saw Chad giving you a thumbs up with an encouraging look on his face.
"Someone save us!" you whisper-shouted, mostly looking at Sam for help.
Tara chuckled and lightly elbowed your side. "Behave, it might be fun," she sat on your lap instead of the chair Mindy pulled out for her.
"Oh, come on, for once sit somewhere else!" Mindy huffed with her hands on her hips.
Tara just grinned and leaned back against you. "I'm doing you a favor, you know Y/N might escape if I don't do this."
You wrapped an arm around Tara's waist and leaned your head back, feeling just a tad bit annoyed. "Gee, sorry for not wanting to live by movie logic," a good movie to watch as a way to have fun? Sure, any time, especially with Tara. This was just going too far for your taste.
"Too bad, Y/N, this is your life now!" Mindy walked over to you and poked the side of your head. "The sooner you accept that, the better."
"Never!" you gave a defiant, and maybe a bit childish, refusal.
"You can't fight this, miss MMA! Besides, we are in a franchise, and characters aren't safe anymore, so you better listen, especially Sam and Tara," any fun you might have been having with this conversation was gone in an instant.
"No one is killing Tara or Sam," you felt Tara twitch slightly on your lap, you figured it was due to the tone of your voice, lower than usual and promising pain to whoever tried to hurt either of the two sisters. "No one is killing any of you, not you, not Chad, and not Anika, not while I'm breathing."
Mindy looked away from you, touched, but not really believing your words. "You can't promise that, Y/N, but thanks anyway."
Your eyes met hers, you understood, while you would do everything in you power and protect Tara you couldnât be everywhere at once, you couldnât claim no one would get killed as long as you were breathing, not after Wes and Liv being killed last year. You would still do your very best to keep them all safe.
"Okay, I'm sensing tension here, let's just relax and have a fun slumber party as the Core Five," Chad and Sam came into the kitchen while Anika stayed back in the living room watching news.
"Core what now?" you couldn't help but ask.
"Core Five?" Sam asked at basically the same time.
"Did you just give us a nickname?" Tara asked in utter disbelief.
"I sure did! I mean, we've been through a lot together and it's a pretty cool nickname," Chad explained and you honestly could go along with that logic.
"That's debatable," Sam wasn't quite on board yet.
"It's extremely debatable," Tara definitely wasn't in favor of it.
"You can't just give yourself a nickname, dingus," Mindy was probably just messing with Chad.
"Of course I can, dingus, because I just did," Chad raised his palm for a high five. "Core Five up top!" he exclaimed.
"No." Mindy immediately rejected him.
"Down low!" he tried with Tara.
"Get that away from me," Tara laughed.
"Please, for the love of God, Sam!" he might have been getting a bit desperate.
"Don't do it!" Mindy, perhaps seeing that Sam might actually do it, quickly interfered.
"Y/N!" he tried one last time.
"You know what, I feel sorry, here's to your Core Five staying alive five," you high-fived Chad, ignoring the incredulous look on Tara's face.
"Thank you!" and Chad looked happy, so win-win.
"I can't believe you," Tara shook her head.
"What? It's kinda cool," you shrugged, but before an argument could be made for or against the nickname your phone rang. Tara nearly jumped off your lap, but you kept a firm hold on her. "Yes?" you picked up without even looking at the caller ID. Maybe you should change that habitâŚ
"Y/N L/N?" that didn't sound like the way a Ghostface would start the conversation.
"That's me," you replied, keeping caution at bay.
"We received a report of alarms going off at the gym you work at. Thomas Laurent called us and said he was out of state and that you'd come to handle the situation. We just need you to come by and make sure everything is still here," the woman spoke over the phone, and you nodded, making up your mind in a second.
"Not the best moment, but sure, I'll be there as soon as I can," you hung up and realized Tara wasn't budging. "Love, I know it's not ideal, but I'd like to keep my job," you pressed soft kisses to the back of her neck. "I promise I'll be careful."
"I'm going with you," Tara decided still not moving from your lap.
"Tara, no you're not," Sam didn't waste a moment, she just outright put her foot down.
"Listen to Sam, please, you'll be safer here," you pleaded for Tara to just listen to you this once. Ater all, if this was the trap you were guessing it was, this was your best bet. There were two options, either Ghostface was waiting for you at the gym, or he was trying to separate you from the group and attack them.
"You're not going anywhere either, Y/N," and it looked like both sisters were about to give you trouble.
"Sam," you tried to argue, a plan already forming in your head, and you didnât feel like letting this opportunity get away.
"Thank you!" Tara looked so happy Sam was on her side in this. She then turned to you. "You're either not going, or I'm going with you, the same way we agreed on me going to parties."
You and Sam both groaned at that, Tara really shouldnât have mentioned that agreement when she broke it twice.
"You were beaten! You're not going alone!" Tara argued, before either of you could respond to her previous argument.
"T, if this Ghostface that attacked you really is stronger than Y/N, and she really has to go, then she'll be safer on her own, or, if someone has to go with her, it should be Chad," no one quite liked the idea of you going anywhere, and you were sure Mindy didn't exactly like the idea of Chad leaving either, even if she did suggest it.
"I'm definitely going with you. We'll beat this chucklefuck up together," Chad seemed confident, and the way Sam was nodding at that had Tara reluctantly getting up.
You got up and grabbed your car keys and wallet. "No one is going with me. I'll be in and out," you sighed when Tara wrapped her arms around your waist. "Tara, Love," as gently as you could you got her to let go of you. As hard as she tried there was pretty much nothing Tara could do to you unless you let her, and you sometimes wondered if she got so used to you giving in to her wishes and demands that she forgot that fact. "Please, don't make this harder than it should be," you understood, you really did, but the sooner you left the better.
Tara looked you in the eyes. "Please, don't leave," it nearly made you change your mind.
"Trust me, I'm not about to walk into a trap," you assured her, you reached up and touched her cheek. "We need to be rational about this," even if it did hurt to leave Tara like this you turned to Sam. "I know this isn't the smartest option, but I made up my mind."
You didn't exactly leave a lot of space for arguing and by now they all knew how stubborn you were. And so, you left the group, taking your spare keys with you.
~X~
You left the apartment. You actually left Tara and she⌠she was frightened, not for herself, the apartment was fairly safe as far as she was concerned. She was there, Sam was there, Chad, Mindy and Anika were there, with five on one even the Ghostface that fought against you would have troubles. So, no, she wasnât afraid for her life, she was afraid for you, you reckless, asshole. You left when Tara all but begged you not to, you were knowingly putting your life in danger when you knew one moment of carelessness could mean death. And you just wanted Tara to accept it and wait helplessly for you to come back home.
And it made Tara angry. It was a similar feeling to the one sheâd get when she had mood swings back in Woodsboro, only even stronger this time, and her emotions were out of control. She needed you here, both to feel safe and to complain to you about your behavior.
"Hey, she'll be fine," surprisingly, the one who reassured Tara was Anika.
Tara looked to the side. "How can you be so sure?" a part of her wanted to say something along the lines of 'easy for you to say', but she knew better. Maybe it was because you and Anika didn't have siblings in the friend group, or maybe it was because Anika was the one who helped four months ago when Tara first disappeared, but somehow the two of you bonded a bit more than Tara expected. You definitely bonded more with Anika than with Ethan. Granted, that was true for the entire group, not just you. Except maybe Chad since Ethan was his roommate.
"Come on, T, she's strong and smart, she's either sure she can handle whatever trap someone could be setting up for her, or she has a plan of her own," and if you had a plan you weren't about to say it.
Perhaps you just didn't trust Anika enough to openly say what you were going to do.
It didn't stop Tara from worrying about you, but she couldn't do anything but believe in you. So, she felt better. You'd come back to her. You always did. "Thanks, Anika," she smiled, and then they heard the news that Sam was the suspect.
~X~
You needed to be quick about this. Luckily, there was a gas station near your apartment, so you approached the first younger driver you saw. "Hey, would you like to earn three hundred bucks, with absolutely no effort?" the moment those words left your mouth you wondered if your morals completely abandoned you.
"Huh?" the kid you approached probably wasn't even out of high school.
"Look," you showed him a police tracker. "You drive away with this in your car, in the opposite direction of your home. Then, a couple of miles away from here just chuck this somewhere. No matter what, don't keep it," as long as he kept driving and went far enough you genuinely hoped nothing bad would happen, but you needed to get rid of the bloody tracker.
You should probably thank Sidney for making you paranoid about trackers on your car.
"Uh, sure," quick and easy money, coupled with the kid being young and likely naive did the job.
"Thanks," you said and handed the tracker and the money over to him. "Throw it away, and don't stop, just throw it, you hear me," you really hoped you wouldn't see the kid got stabbed in the news tomorrow morning. "Don't ever do this again though, you never know who you're dealing with!" you hollered as you ran back to your car.
You were suspicious the moment that call came, guessing Ghostface would be trying to separate you from the group. Either to jump you or attack the others, you weren't sure. But you weren't about to take the bait. You drove like a maniac, parking the car in the back alley less than a minute from the building you lived in. Even less if you ran. And then you hid in the shadows, watching the entrance, thankful you chose to wear a black hoodie today.
Your phone rang and you picked up, once again without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello, Y/N," oh, you recognized that voice. "What are you doing so far from your workplace?"
"Ruining your plans," you were relieved the kid listened to you.
"Hardly. I got you exactly where I want you. Away from home," that would have been chilling to hear if you weren't looking at the entrance and noticing the figure approaching.
"If you even try to touch them," you warned, stepping away from the shadows, and as silently as you could you went after the Ghostface.
"What are you going to do about it?" you didn't respond, seeing as you were already about a dozen feet behind the killer. "Silent, huh? Will you be that silent when I carve up your little whore," you grabbed Ghostface from behind and slammed him into the ground.
"Sorry, whore really doesn't fit any of my loved ones," you picked up the knife he dropped and quickly stabbed him several times, but just as you were about to slit his throat you heard tires screeching, horns blaring, and looked up to see a car heading right toward you and the Ghostface.
You jumped up to your feet and headed for the stairs, you got inside just as another Ghostface emerged from the car and went to his fallen accomplice in crime.
You felt your blood run cold when you took a good look at the two. They weren't nearly as big as the one you fought at the bodega.
No.
Fuck!
Would this one run after you or get the other one out of the way? You didn't know. It didn't matter.
~X~
Tara couldn't remember the last time fifteen minutes made her go through such a rollercoaster of emotions. First, she was worried about you, then reassured, then she had to completely shift focus on comforting Sam, and then, finally, she even allowed herself to be excited and happy for Sam because she was sleeping with Danny, or Cute Boy, as Tara dubbed him, mostly to see if you'd get jealous. You didn't even react, but the nickname kinda stuck around.
And then they all heard Anika scream.
Tara jumped to her feet and ran into the living room to see Ghostface standing over Anika with a knife in her stomach.
"Anika!" Mindy cried out as Tara, before anyone could grab her lunged at Ghostface and tried to push him off Anika.
He wouldn't budge, Tara was trying with everything she had, pushing the forearm, but nothing worked.
"Feisty," Ghostface chuckled, entirely unbothered by her efforts.
Tara suddenly remembered all those times she watched you fight, pulled her fist back, and with all her weight put behind the punch she hit him right where his liver was.
He flinched, probably more surprised than anything, and pushed Anika aside. Before Tara could react, he grabbed her left forearm and pulled her closer. "You should have left the fighting to your girlfriend," he taunted and raised his knife. And she screamed, for a moment feeling like she was back in Woodsboro, with Amber, in her robes above her on the night she was attacked for the first time.
Everything turned hectic from that moment. Sam grabbed the arm holding the knife and pushed, desperately trying to keep the knife from reaching Tara as Chad jumped in and punched Ghostface in the face. Tara did her best to push as well and they managed to topple him over.
"Help Anika!" Chad got on top of him, hitting him with all he had several times and for a moment Tara thought they would be safe. She thought Chad's hits were enough to defeat the man, because while he wasnât as skilled as you were, Chad wasnât weak by any means.
"Chad get back!" Sam, however, saw something else and went to pull Chad back. Only then did Tara see the man had his forearms raised and was blocking each and every hit Chad made. And it looked a lot like how you would fight in the cage. There was no doubt in Taraâs mind now, this man was an MMA fighter and she felt her blood run cold, because she knew exactly how dangerous that made him.
There was no mistaking it. This was the Ghostface that attacked the three of you at the bodega. Sam wasn't strong or fast enough to pull Chad away in time and Ghostface stabbed Chad right below his chest.
He violently yanked the knife out, making the wound even worse as blood splattered on the floor and Chad cried out as he and Sam fell back. Tara watched in horror as Sam managed to get back on her feet only to just barely avoid the knife.
"Run!" Sam yelled and Tara went to help Anika to her feet. There was no way they could reach the front doors, but maybe they could lock the bedroom doors and call for help from there. Mindy, trusting Tara to handle helping Anika went to get Chad, only to get sliced across her left biceps.
Sam grabbed a lamp and threw it at Ghostface, slowing him down just enough for all five of them to flee into the guest bedroom.
They had no idea what to do now, though. They didn't bring their phones. They barely managed to block both of the doors and Ghostface kept trying to break through.
"Sam!" they heard Danny yelling from his apartment and Sam went to the window.
"Shit," she cursed, and Tara realized they really had no way out. Ghostface would break in sooner rather than later.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Tara looked at Sam, not knowing what was happening, all she was focusing on was trying to slow down Anika's bleeding. "Fuck, I don't," Sam grabbed onto something and Tara realized it was a ladder.
"Tara! Tara, go!" Sam ushered her to the ladder.
"Sam! Wait!" Tara tried to argue, but Sam just grabbed her shoulders and made her look into her sister's eyes.
"Listen to me, we'll send Anika next, but I need you to get out of here," the frantic, frightened look in Sam's eyes made Tara give up on fighting.
Tara pulled Sam into a hug. "Please don't die," she begged and, not having any more time to waste, went to the ladder. She looked Danny in the eyes and swallowed down her fear. The last thing anyone needed right now was for her asthma to kick in. Slow, deep breaths. She thought about you, about how you'd be encouraging her right now, but she was moving too slowly. The lack of strength in her left hand made her uncertain.
"Come on, Tara, I got you, Sam will be right behind you, you can do it," Danny encouraged her, reaching out for her to grab onto his hands. And she did, she grabbed on and with his help made her way to the safety of his apartment.
"Sam!" she immediately cried out, now feeling even more anxious since she had no idea what was happening in the apartment. She could still hear Ghostface trying to break into the apartment, she flinched when she heard wood cracking but managed to keep her breathing under control when she saw Sam climb onto the ladder.
Sam began making her way over, but the ladder shook slightly. "It won't hold me," Sam spoke what Tara feared the most at the moment.
"It ain't going anywhere, it's gonna hold you, I promise," Danny kept a firm hold on the ladder and Sam nodded slightly.
"Eyes on me, Sam, come on, I got you," just like he did with Tara he reached out for Sam and pulled her inside.
Sam immediately hugged Tara, trembling slightly, and then looking at Danny. "Thank you," she whispered. "Okay, she turned back toward their apartment. "Come on!" she yelled for the others to get across.
"Mindy! Chad! Anika!" Tara yelled, hoping any of them would just get to the ladder and get out of there before it was too late. She saw Mindy and Anika getting close to the window. Her heart shattered when she saw Anika and Mindy kissing, possibly for the last time, and Mindy climbing on the ladder.
"Anika and Chad are coming right behind you! They're right behind you!" Sam kept yelling, keeping Mindy from panicking. She made it to the other side of the ladder much faster than either Tara or Sam. It wasn't fast enough though.
Just as Anika climbed onto the ladder they heard the doors slamming open.
"Chad!" Mindy screamed. They didn't see it, but they heard a loud thud and what sounded like a body dropping.
And then Ghostface was at the window, stabbing the knife next to the ladder.
"What?" Anika asked, afraid and in pain and there was nothing they could do to help.
"Anika you have to move now!" Mindy cried out as the man slowly, as if taunting them reached down for the ladder.
"No!" Tara cried out, and then she felt like her heart stopped beating for a moment when she saw a fist colliding with the side of Ghostface's head.
You came back.
~X~
You could hear the screams as you were running down the hall toward the doors. You could see blood from the moment you burst into the apartment. You saw red when you realized Chad was struggling to get up and Ghostface was reaching down for the ladder.
Why was there a ladder? You had no idea. It didn't matter. You rushed into the guest bedroom crashing your fist against the side of his head and for good measure slamming your entire body into Ghostface.
Both of you dropped to the floor and you placed him in a hold, wrapping your arms around his neck and right arm as you pressed his left forearm down with your knee.
"Y/N," Chad stumbled to his feet and you could see how unsteady he was.
"Get out of here! Get across the ladder!" you yelled, still not sure what that other Ghostface was going to do. "I've got him, just go!" you could feel Ghostface trying to get on his knees, but you kicked his leg and added pressure to the forearm at the same time.
You could hear Chad climbing onto the ladder as you tried to choke Ghostface. Even with as much strength as you were putting behind your hold, he managed to grab your forearm and pull just enough to prevent you from choking him.
You were stuck in a different dilemma though. Should you fight him right now? Just try to end the biggest threat? You were vaguely aware of the knife next to the ladder, you could reach it before Ghostface, but you weren't sure you could be quick enough to end it all before he got back to his feet.
"Y/N!" hearing Tara crying out for you made you consider just running away. Just getting across the ladder as quickly as you can instead of fighting. Leaving the fight for another day and just hoping youâd get a better chance to finish him off.
Hearing footsteps closing in made the decision for you and you jumped to your feet and went for the window just as the other Ghostface came in, knife twirling between his fingers.
You didn't have time to do it carefully. "Out of the way!" you yelled and jumped out of the window, just barely keeping your balance as you lunged forward and tumbled into Danny's apartment. The ladder fell as you stumbled into someone and tripped over your own feet.
You knew who you stumbled into before you even opened your eyes. You felt her trembling arms clinging to the back of your hoodie. When you opened your eyes you saw Tara beneath you, tears falling from her eyes as she pulled you down to kiss you.
"Are you okay?" you asked, looking her over when she allowed you to pull away.
Tara nodded frantically. "I am, I'm okay, Y/N," she whispered, and you relaxed just for a moment before looking around you. You weren't too late, everyone was still alive. Everyone but Tara and Sam were injured, but they were all alive and you hugged Tara tightly, kissing the side of her head and muttering a soft thank you into her ear.
~X~
You were all, aside from Anika, more or less, fine. Chad had a concussion and a deep stab wound, but he could still move around and Mindy's cut, while painful, wasn't deep enough to cause permanent damage. Tara, Sam and you were, for the most part, just a bit shaken.
Anika was the one you were all the most worried about. Her wound was serious, and while she survived, and the surgery went well none of you knew when she would wake up or if there would be any lasting issues caused by what she went through.
You folded your arms and squeezed at your biceps, barely keeping yourself from biting your lip. You thought you could outsmart the killers and it nearly cost Anika, and everyone else, their lives.
You stepped back and leaned your back against the wall. Events of last year came to mind as you watched Mindy watching over Anika while Tara was comforting her to the best of her abilities. You guessed you had a similar expression back when you were waiting for Tara to wake up.
Chad walked over to you, leaned against the wall, and placed a hand on your shoulder. "What now?" he asked.
"You stay here, protect Mindy and Anika, and leave the rest to us," in any other circumstances you were sure he would argue. That he would demand to be there for Tara, Sam, and you, so he could help you fight. But this was his sister and not only was she injured she wouldn't leave her girlfriend here.
"Y/N is right, Chad, you're needed here," Sam understood. Everyone understood what the only option was for Chad.
So, he nodded. "You better come back. We are Core Five," you could see in his eyes that he felt bad about his choice, but this was one of those situations, where you just had to choose the one most important to you. The pair of siblings would choose one another, no matter who was on the other side, and no matter how much it would hurt them if they had to choose.
"Yeah, you might want to change the nickname, use six instead of five," you said, firmly believing that Anika would make it out of this completely fine.
Story Masterlist / First part / Previous part / Next part
#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter x you#tara carpenter x female reader#tara carpenter#scream#sam carpenter#jenna ortega x reader#x reader#x female reader
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Here's my theory about what I think will happen with Maria if we get a season 3.
So one of the biggest differences between the original show and Nocturne is that Nocturne is a coming of age tale for Maria, Richter and Annette. A coming of age tale where we see them take their first true steps into adulthood as they unlock and embrace their magic, gain confidence and start becoming the protectors and legends they'll one day be famous for.
Season 1 was Richter's season and season 2 was Annette's. It was also the season where we see Richter and Annette become a couple and Richter takes the big step to go with Annette, another big step into adulthood where he leaves his home and family and starts to make a life for himself.
But because Maria is only 16 she can't take all these steps yet. She's staying in Paris but she has Juste, her adoptive father at her side supporting her. She isn't quite there yet but she will be if we get a timeskip.
Since Symphony of the Night takes place in 1797 I think that this will be when season 3 takes place. Maria will be 21/22 (seasons 1 and 2 take place in January 1792) and will be old enough to have this final part of her coming of age story to kick off.
I think that after 5 years as a revolutionary is going to take some sort of emotional toll on her. And as for historical context - 1797 is the year when the royalists take power with a coup to overthrow them coming later in the year. This could be a good historical backdrop for season 3, especially if they want to show Maria's growing anger and darkness within.
This would also be a good time to have Tera reunite with Maria. Reunite them but slowly show Tera, under the influence of control of the Being that Olrox calls Old Man Coyote starts to convince Maria to give into her anger, frustration and rage. Have the being use the love that Maria has for Tera to its own advantage, have it try to sow seeds of doubt and mistrust against Juste and Alucard, have it emotionally manipulate Maria with Tera, knowing that Maria should love her more than anything.
But then we have Juste and Alucard, two very powerful threats to this beings plans for Maria. Juste, as Maria's new father has been able to bring her back from the darkness, to get her to embrace the light and love that she needs to use her magic in the way that she wants to. He's a threat as a parental figure and as a powerful fighter who knows what it's like to lose himself and his magic and can therefore get through to Maria in a way that would threaten this being. However, Juste sees vampires as beyond saving, he's tried to kill Tera twice and he'd do so again. This could work in the beings favour as it could help to create a seed of doubt or wedge between father and daughter.
And then we have Alucard, the man who is probably going to be the biggest threat to the being in its quest to get Maria. Alucard and Maria have a number of similarities, both are deeply tied to the Belmonts and consider them family, both have a vampire for a parent, both have killed their fathers and both have possessed incredible power from a young age. It's clear that the writers want to see them bond and to explore this relationship, whatever form it takes.
I also think that Tera and the Being have been keeping a close eye on these 3 and so is definitely aware of the different dynamics in this trio and how to exploit them as best it can.
However I do think we have 1 important wildcard that I think that no one truly understands - Maria's feelings for Alucard.
I do think that everyone, Juste, Alucard, Tera and the Being are well aware of Maria's feelings for Alucard, but I don't think that anyone, perhaps not even Maria know how deep and strong her love is for him.
So I think that towards the end of the season we'll get a big fight between the Tera, the Being and the trio where Maria will be focus. She'll have already walked down a dark path and done at least 1 dark thing and Juste and Alucard will be there trying to stop Tera and the Being from corrupting her fully.
And then we'll get the beginning of a tragedy, where Tera will try to convince Maria to walk away from her found family and come to her. The Being, fully possessing and controlling Tera will try to use the love that Maria has for her mother in order to get its hands on her.
And here is where it's going to fail. As Tera It's going to harm Juste and then Alucard, seriously harming or about to kill the latter. During the fight Maria's going to have doubts and will be torn between Tera and her found family. But in this moment Maria is going to have to make a terrible, nearly impossible choice about who she loves and needs more. And she's going to choose Alucard. She'll choose Alucard, she'll save and protect him by killing her mother. And Tera will let her, will break through the control that the Being has on her and will do everything in her power to ensure that she dies right then and there and that in doing so will save Maria from this Beings grasp. She'll redeem and save herself through the love she and Maria have for one another.
And she'll die and the Being will lose its host but will still be at large. It will flee and will leave a devastated, broken, guilty and grief stricken Maria who will be just like Alucard was in the aftermath of killing his own father.
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hi there! we're a p-did system, and figured it might be nice to try and find a sense of community somewhere, so why not try here? we've had suspicions for a while but consistently gaslit ourselves into thinking otherwiseâ this is our first time accepting that this in fact a likely reality and are self identifying as plural until we can get in to see a psych to confirm. we use i/me and we/us rather interchangeably for the most part and to the best of my knowledge as the host we're all okay with they/them pronouns but some of us have other pronouns we also use! now, a few rules or general topics to cover real quick:
⢠we are not here to engage in syscourse, we aren't professionals or doctors, it's simply not our place.
⢠we do not mind (pro)endos interacting, we have chosen to remain neutral on this stance as, again, we are not professionals or doctors, not our place.
⢠we don't tolerate hate speech or bullying, if anyone is commenting such things on our posts they will be swiftly blocked.
⢠we would prefer that no one under the age of 16 (bodily) interacts in dms or anything unless they need some help or support, we are 19 bodily, so we just want everyone to be safe! any ages are welcome on this page, however almost all of us do swear and have a dark sense of humor, so keep this in mind!
⢠we love introjects/fictives! for who we know of rn, a lot of our system is fictives, not everyone to be clear, but we've always found great comfort in different forms of media, so we assume our brain split some of the characters we resonated with the most and still continues to do so sometimes!
with all of that out of that out of the way, a brief intro to the alters as we know ourselves!
FIZZ
they/them, key-host (rarely leaves front, most others blend with or co-host with me), potential helluva boss fictive but this is unclear, i may have just stolen my name from it!
CONNOR
he/him/they/them, emotional protector, fronts occasionally, mostly during times of stress, but sometimes just when he wants to. dear evan hansen fictive.
RIFF
he/him/they/them, protector, possible gatekeeper, second most frequent fronter so far, has a typing quirk, generally pretty caring but can definitely be stubborn and sarcastic. west side story fictive.
LESTAT
he/him/they/them, role unclear, hasn't fronted for a while, tends to use french terms and a fancier vocabulary. iwtv fictive.
DALE
he/him/they/them, role unclear, rarely fronts, not very confident but extremely sweet, wants the best for everybody. newsreader fictive.
V1
they/them/it/its, persecutor, co-con frequently but unlikely to fully front, harsh, does not like others, does not care to communicate with others. they have not shared their name, thus the placeholder name of V1.
ROSALIE / V2
she/her/they/them, possible caretaker, she doesn't front frequently, we don't know much about her, very sweet and motherly. name is assumed.
V3
she/her/they/them, role unclear, pretty chill personality from what we know, hasn't fronted much, first one to inspire me to make a picrew for her, hoping to have a name soon.
P
she/her/they/them, little â role unclear, we do not plan to share too much info on her, she fronts occasionally, and absolutely loves jellyfish and ham.
ART
he/him/they/them, role not yet discovered, he's relatively new, we think he split due to recent events that caused significant duress, but he's shown up when the paranoia hits some. pretty chill so far, but extremely tired. challengers fictive.
we follow from @artsracquet !
that's about all we have for right now, but we hope to meet some fellow plurals and cannot wait to find some community here!
~ fizz
#plural system#plurality#pluralgang#actually plural#plural community#plural stuff#system stuff#did system#traumagenic system#osdd system#sysblr#dissociative system#system things#pdid#pdid system#pdid community#actually pdid#actually did#did osdd#did community#osddid#osdd#actually osdd#sysconversation
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đđĄđ đŠđŤđđđđĄđđŤ'đŹ đđđŽđ đĄđđđŤ | chapter 4
Dbf! Joel Miller x female reader
"đđŚ đđ°đ°đŹđ´ đđŞđŹđŚ đŠđŚ đ¸đ°đłđŹđ´ đ¸đŞđľđŠ đŠđŞđ´ đŠđ˘đŻđĽđ´, đ˘đŻđĽ đ´đŽđŚđđđ´ đđŞđŹđŚ đđ˘đłđđŁđ°đłđ° đłđŚđĽđ´,"
summary: life has been perfect, just you and him, but the shadows of both of you and Joel's past has been haunting you again...
warnings: 18+ only, Minors DNI, AU, No outbreak. (TW) mentions of substance abuse/alcohol use disorder, adult content, religion abuse, violence, blood gore, mentions of death, sexual abuse, sexual content, domestic violences, ped0ph!l1a, cann1bal!sm, human traff1ck1ng, r4p3, dad's best friend!Joel, HUGE age gap (i will not specify her exact age, but she's legal and Joel is 49), daddy issues, mentions of toxic family dynamic, Joel is widowed, Ellie is 16, angst, smut A LOT, forbidden relationship, soft and protective Joel, innocent and pure reader. your last name is Gibson. any other details will be explain throughout the story. inspired by the album Preacher's daughter by Ethel Cain and also mix with lana del rey vibes.
CHAPTER 4
masterlist of the series
previous | chapter 3
next | chapter 5
The sun seemed to shine a bit brighter these days, casting a warm glow over your life since Joel had become more involved in it. His presence brought a newfound sense of safety and comfort, not just for you but for him as well. Joel, once a cold and distant figure, began to soften, melting into a warmer, more open person whenever you were around. It was as if the world belonged to just the two of you, and the bond you shared illuminated both your lives in profound ways.
Joel was now a regular at church, attending Sunday services and every fellowship event with renewed purpose. His participation didn't go unnoticed, especially by Tommy, Ellie, and Maria, who observed the positive changes in him. Joel still remained a man of few words, guarded and cautious, but your presence had undeniably brought a light into his life, guiding him out of the shadows.
For you, Joel became the protector you desperately needed. Whenever your fatherâs temper flared, you could escape to Joel, finding solace in his arms. He calmed your storms, just as you eased his burdens, becoming each other's anchor. You often sneaked out together to the lake or climbed into the back of Joelâs truck to gaze at the stars. Those moments felt like the world stood still, with only the two of you and the infinite sky. Joel found himself no longer lost in the darkness; instead, he had found his light in you.
However, you both had to maintain a facade, keeping your relationship discreet to avoid the prying eyes of the community. Sneaking out, lying to your father about being at a friend's house, and stolen moments of intimacy became part of your routine. While you hadn't taken your relationship to a sexual level due to your trauma from Jamie, the nights spent cuddling, kissing, and talking were enough for Joel. Though he sometimes felt the stirrings of desire, he respected your boundaries, focusing instead on the depth of your connection.
Joel sometimes took you out of town, exploring Austin or Houston. You visited night markets, played in arcades, and strolled through bustling streets. Joel despised arcades, but the sound of your laughter and the sight of your carefree smile made every annoying game worthwhile. Every time you smiled, it was as if a sunbeam pierced through the clouds in Joel's heart, warming a place he had thought forever cold.
"Got another project comin' up," Joel said one evening as you sat together in his truck, overlooking the hills. "A big one. Tommy thinks it's too much work for the crew we got, but I reckon we can handle it."
"Tell me more about it," you prompted, even though construction details often went over your head. You loved hearing Joel talk about his work; the passion in his voice made you feel closer to him.
"It's an office building downtown. Gonna be a challenge because we gotta keep the old facade. Means a lotta careful demolition, precision work. Gotta bring in some new folks, too, ones who know their way around older structures."
You nodded, trying to visualize it. "Sounds complicated."
"It is," he admitted, a touch of pride in his voice. "But we got a good team. Tommy's been talkin' to some contractors. We need people who can do the job right, you know? Canât afford any mistakes."
"I believe you can do it," you said earnestly. "Youâre amazing at what you do."
He chuckled softly. "Youâre sweet." Joel's hand reached up, his rough fingers gently caressing your chin. His touch was like a warm breeze on a chilly evening, comforting and electrifying at the same time. Joelâs gaze held yours, his brown eyes deep and intense, like molten chocolate, filled with something you couldnât quite decipher but felt deeply within your soul.
Every touch, every look from him, made you melt. It was as if you were a snowflake landing on a sun-warmed pavement, vanishing into a pool of warmth under the intensity of his presence. You giggled, the sound light and musical, breaking the silence.
"What?" you asked, a smile playing on your lips.
Joel shook his head slowly, his smile spreading across his face, tender and genuine. "Nothin', darlin'," he said, his voice calm, gentle, and sincere.
Joel couldnât fully grasp his feelings, but being with you made him feel alive in a way he hadn't in years. He knew this might be wrong, but it felt so good, like a burst of sunlight through storm clouds, casting colors on a world that had been grey for too long. Ever since Sarah and his wife had passed, his life had been a landscape painted in shades of grief and loss. Ellie had brought back some light, but what he felt with you was different, something more vivid, more profound.
His world had been a desolate canvas, splashed with only the darkest hues. But you were the burst of color, the brush of a vibrant dawn, illuminating the shadows that had consumed him. You were his beacon, guiding him from the darkness, painting his existence with the brightest of shades. And though it scared him, it also filled him with a warmth and a hope he hadnât dared to feel in a long time.
***
After school, you found yourself in the familiar warmth of the kitchen, the comforting scent of vanilla and sugar filling the air. Your mother, in her element, was bustling around, gathering ingredients for a cake and cookies.
"Can you grab the eggs from the fridge, sweetheart?" she asked, her voice gentle.
You nodded, reaching into the refrigerator. As you handed her the carton, her hand brushed against your back, right where the still-healing bruises were. You flinched, unable to hide the sharp intake of breath.
Your mother's eyes widened, guilt flashing across her face. "I'm so sorry. Does..does it still...um hurt?" she asked softly, her voice trembling slightly.
You forced a smile, shaking your head. "No, Mama, it's okay. It's getting better."
She hesitated, her eyes lingering on you with a mixture of worry and sorrow. "I know I haven't... I haven't done enough to protect you," she said, her voice breaking. "I'm so sorry for that. I'm just... Iâm so afraid of your father."
You placed a hand on her arm, trying to offer some comfort. "Mama, it's alright. I understand. Let's just focus on the baking, okay?"
Your mother nodded, her relief palpable. She turned back to the counter, trying to regain her composure. "So, have you noticed how Joelâs been coming to church more often lately?"
You tensed slightly at the mention of Joel, careful to keep your expression neutral. "Yeah, I noticed."
Your mother smiled, though it was tinged with curiosity. "You know, heâs changed a lot over the years. He used to be so different when Sarah and his wife were alive."
You couldn't help but feel a pang of curiosity. You knew bits and pieces about Joelâs past but had never heard the full story. "What was he like back then?"
"Joel was a wonderful father and husband. He adored Sarah and Jane," your mother said, her eyes softening with nostalgia. "Jane and I were good friends. They were high school sweethearts, you know. Joel got Jane pregnant in high school, and they got married right after graduation. He worked so hard to provide for them."
You listened intently as your mother spoke, the rhythm of her words blending with the sounds of bakingâmixing bowls clinking, the oven humming softly. Joel had never brought up his past daughter and wife when he was with you. It was as if a part of his heart was still locked away, guarded against the pain of revisiting those memories. You felt a mixture of sadness and curiosity, wishing he would open up to you but understanding his need to protect himself from that pain.
As your mother continued, you couldnât shake the feeling that Joelâs heart was still closed off, like a house with the windows shuttered, sunlight struggling to seep through the cracks. "After they died, Joel was never the same," your mother said softly, her voice carrying the weight of her memories. "He isolated himself, barely spoke to anyone. He stopped coming to church, buried himself in work and alcohol. It was like the light went out of him."
You continued to bake, your hands moving automatically as you processed your mother's words. The more you learned, the more you understood the layers of grief and resilience that made up the man you had come to care for so deeply.
"Did you know his wife well?" you asked, curious about the woman who had once been such a significant part of Joelâs life. You felt a twinge of jealousy, knowing that Joel had once opened his heart fully to another woman, something he hadn't done with you yet.
Your mother nodded, her smile tinged with sadness. "Yes, she was one of my closest friends. Jane was kind and loving, always had a smile on her face. They were perfect together. Losing her was a blow Joel never really recovered from."
You felt a pang in your chest, imagining the life Joel had once hadâa life filled with love and happiness that was abruptly shattered. Yet, you couldnât help but feel empathy for him, understanding the depth of his loss and the strength it took for him to keep going.
Your mind swirling with thoughts. Joel had been through so much, yet he found the strength to care for Ellie and, in his own way, for you. He was like a fortress, strong and unyielding, yet vulnerable to the storms that battered him.
Your motherâs voice brought you back to the present. "Since he adopted Ellie, he's shown glimpses of the old Joel. But he still struggles. Heâs still grumpy and distant. It was as if he built a wall around himself, shutting out the world to avoid more pain."
You couldnât help but feel a surge of empathy for Joel. He had been through so much, yet he found a way to care for you and Ellie. "And now he's starting to come back to church," your mother said softly.
"It's good to see him more involved again. He deserves some happiness."
You smiled, though your heart was heavy with the knowledge of what you shared with Joel. "Yeah, he does," you agreed, hoping that somehow, against all odds, you could both find the happiness you deserved.
Your mom glanced at you, a hint of curiosity in her eyes. "I wonder whatâs changed in him," she mused. "Maybe heâs finally opening up his heart for another woman."
Your body tensed at her words. She continued, "Ever since he became a widower, there have been plenty of women interested in him. Itâs a small town, you know. Everyone knows everything. But he's always been so... cold and distant. Joel is handsome, successful, and a gentleman. Don't tell your father I said that." She chuckled, and you just smile to her.
Inside, you couldn't help but agree. Joel was indeed handsome and a gentleman, so different from your father. Your father, who should have been the epitome of kindness and morality as a preacher, was anything but. His exterior was polished and righteous, but inside, he was rotten. Joel, on the other hand, seemed rough on the outside but was truly good at heart.
Your mother sighed, "Itâs good for Joel, though. Itâs about time he moved on and built a new life. Maybe heâll find a nice woman his age, someone who can be a good mother to Ellie. Adam needs his Eve, after all."
Her words made you uncomfortable, a knot forming in your stomach. You couldnât bear the thought of Joel with someone else. The jealousy gnawed at you, knowing your mother would lose her mind if she ever discovered you were the reason for Joelâs recent change. You also felt a pang of insecurity, realizing how much older Joel was, how he could practically be your father. There were so many women in town who were more age-appropriate for him, attractive and mature, whereas you felt small and insignificant in comparison.
You focused on mixing the batter, trying to push away the uncomfortable thoughts. "Yeah, maybe," you mumbled, not trusting yourself to say more.
Your mother didn't seem to notice your discomfort. She continued to chatter about the town gossip, but your mind was elsewhere. You wondered if Joel ever thought about these thingsâmarry a nice woman and built a new life? You knew he cared for you, but could he see a future with you, or was this just a fleeting moment in his life?
As you finished the cake and placed it in the oven, you couldn't shake off the thoughts swirling in your head. Joel was a beacon of light in your life, but the future felt uncertain. You wished you could ask him, but the fear of his answer kept you silent.
The cookies were done baking, and your mother placed them in two jars. "Take these over to Joelâs house and then to Tommy's," she said, handing you the jars and placing them in a sturdy tote bag to make it easier to carry on your bike.
You nodded, appreciating the excuse to see Joel. As you rode your bike through the familiar streets, the wind swept across your face, carrying the sweet scent of summer and the promise of evening. The sky was a canvas of blue and orange, painting a picturesque scene straight out of a movie. You loved this townâthe southern charm, the way everyone knew each otherâbut part of you hated it, longed to escape its confines and the shadows that lurked within your home.
Arriving at Joelâs house, one of the bigger ones in the neighborhood, you parked your bike in the driveway and grabbed one of the cookie jars. Knocking on the door, as you always did instead of using the bell, you expected Ellie to answer since Joelâs truck wasnât in the driveway.
The door opened, and instead of Ellie, it was Joel standing there. His face softened the moment he saw you.
"Hey, Mr. Miller," you said, deliberately using his formal title to tease him a bit.
Joel chuckled, his eyes warm. "Hey, doll."
You lifted the jar slightly. "Mom sent some cookies. She thought you might like them."
Joel took the jar from your hands, his fingers brushing yours. "Oh, that's nice of her, well, do want to come in?"
"Maybe for a little," You followed him inside, the familiar coziness of his home wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. Joel set the jar on the kitchen counter and turned to you, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern.
"You alright?" he asked, sensing your unease.
You smiled, trying to brush off your worries. "Yeah, just... thinking about stuff."
Joel stepped closer, his hand reaching out to gently cup your chin. His touch was rough but tender, sending shivers down your spine. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
You nodded, looking up into his eyes. They were deep pools of warmth and safety, and every time you looked into them, you felt like you could melt. "I know," you whispered.
For a moment, you just stood there, lost in each other's gaze. Joelâs eyes held something you couldnât quite decipher, a mix of emotions that made your heart race. You giggled nervously, breaking the silence.
"What?" you asked, feeling self-conscious.
Joel shook his head slowly, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Nothin'."
You giggled again. "You have to stop looking at me like that."
Joel raised an eyebrow, still smiling. He's leaning in to kiss you, "Like what?"
You blushed, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. Before Joel could kiss you, you both heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Quickly, you stepped away from each other.
"Oh, hey, I thought I heard someone knocking," Ellie said, entering the kitchen.
"Hey, Ellie," you greeted her. "My mom and I made some cookies, and she sent you some. I thought Iâd drop by for a bit."
Ellie grinned and walked over to you and Joel. She glanced at Joel, noticing his slightly flushed face, and raised an eyebrow. "You okay, Joel?"
Joel cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yeah, just, uh, a bit of dust or somethin'."
Ellie opened the jar and took a cookie. "These are great. Thanks!" She turned to you. Joel took a cookie as well, taking a bite and nodding in approval.
"You made this?" Joel asked, looking impressed.
You blushed a little. "Well, I just helping my mom."
"I take that as a yes and this is good," Joel said, his eyes warm.
"Thank you," you replied, feeling a rush of warmth from his compliment.
Ellie turned her attention to you. "So, howâs school? I havenât seen you much lately."
You shrugged. "Just busy with a lot of things."
Ellie nodded. "I heard youâre in charge of the church dance troupe for the event next week."
"Yeah," you said, smiling.
Ellie smirked playfully. "And I heard Pastor Ben picked you as soon as he saw you. I think he likes you."
Joelâs expression changed, his jaw tightening slightly. "Who's Ben?"
Ellie glanced at Joel, oblivious to his jealousy. "Pastor Ben is the new young pastor whoâs going to be taking over while Father Gibson is away for a couple of weeks."
"Yeah," you added. "Heâs just helping out while my dad is on a trip to New Orleans for the church."
Ellie nodded enthusiastically. "He's super popular with the girls at school. They all think heâs really handsome."
You laughed lightly, trying to diffuse the tension. "Heâs just being friendly, Ellie."
Joelâs eyes narrowed slightly, but he forced a casual tone. "How old is he?"
"Not sure," Ellie said, shrugging. "Maybe late twenties?"
"Oh," he said.
Joel's face remained impassive, but the tension in his jaw betrayed his emotions. He didnât want to show too much, to let on how much it bothered him that someone else might have an eye on you. After all, anyone would notice your beautyâyour presence was like a beacon, drawing people in with your pure, radiant light. Men and boys alike found themselves captivated by you, your allure almost heavenly. Joel, despite not being religious, found himself silently praying that he could keep you to himself.
He knew that your beauty wasnât just skin-deep. There was something about you that felt untouched, etherealâa stark contrast to the gritty world he had come to know. You were his salvation, a glimpse of purity and hope in his otherwise dark and turbulent life.
Ellie changed the subject, sensing the awkwardness. "Anyway, are you excited about leading the dance troupe?"
"Yeah, it should be fun," you replied, grateful for the shift in conversation. "Itâs a lot of work, but I think itâll be worth it."
"Maybe you want to join, Ellie?" you said teasing her, "Oh hell nah," Ellie answered making a disgusting face, you chuckled.
Joel remained quiet, his eyes flicking between you and Ellie. You could tell he was still processing the idea of Pastor Ben, but he seemed to be trying to push it aside.
"Well, thanks for the cookies," Ellie said, taking another bite. "Theyâre delicious."
"Glad you like them," you said with a smile. "I should probably get going. I need to drop the other jar off at Tommyâs."
Joelâs expression softened as he looked at you. "Let me walk you out," he said. As Ellie remained engrossed in the cookies, Joel gently took your hand, the warmth of his touch sending shivers down your spine.
"When is your father leaving for New Orleans?" Joel asked in a low voice as he guided you towards the door.
"Tonight, around eight," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.
Joelâs eyes gleamed with a hint of mischief as he leaned closer, his breath warm against your ear. "Can you sneak out tonight?" he whispered, his hand lightly caressing yours.
You smirked and nodded, a blush spreading across your cheeks.
Joelâs eyes darted around, ensuring no one was watching. "Iâll pick you up behind your house at nine," he whispered, his voice a mix of excitement and caution. His rough hand felt like a contrast to your soft skin, a stark reminder of the different worlds you both came from, yet a perfect match in this moment.
You felt a flutter in your chest, a combination of anticipation and desire. His touch was electric, sending a rush of warmth through your veins. You wanted to hold onto this feeling, the thrill of the forbidden, the secret moments that were just for the two of you.
Joel leaned in and pressed a quick, sweet kiss to your cheek, ensuring no one was watching. You felt your heart race, the sensation of his lips lingering on your skin.
"Iâll see you later," he murmured, stepping back slightly. "Take care."
You nodded, trying to contain your excitement. "You too," you said softly, your voice tinged with the happiness you felt inside.
The whole way to Tommyâs house, you couldnât stop blushing. Riding your bike, you felt the wind rush past you, the world around you vibrant and alive. The sky was a brilliant canvas of blue and orange, the southern landscape unfolding like a scene straight out of a movie. Each pedal felt lighter, the anticipation of the night ahead filling you with a sense of freedom and exhilaration.
Reaching Tommyâs house, you parked your bike and grabbed the jar of cookies. Knocking on the door, you took a deep breath, the smile on your face unshakeable. Tonight held the promise of something special, and you couldnât wait to see Joel again.
The house was a quiet, still tableau of ordinary life, its corners cast in the muted hues of nightfall. Your motherâs soft, tired footsteps echoed as she busied herself with the last-minute preparations for your fatherâs departure. From your vantage point in the dimly lit room, you could hear the rumble of his stern, authoritative voice as he issued his final instructions for his absence.
âBehave yourself, Evelyn. Take care of your duties.â your fatherâs voice cut through the air like a blade to your mother, âMake sure the house is in order," He said to your mother.
Your mother then called you from downstairs. âCome say goodbye to your father before he leaves.â
You descended the stairs with a heavy heart, each step a reluctant march towards the formality of your father's departure. His figure loomed large in the dimly lit foyer, his stern face illuminated by the flickering light from the chandelier above. The space around him seemed to shrink under the weight of his presence, a constant reminder of his authority and control.
Your father, already dressed in his traveling attire, turned to face you as you approached. His expression was as impassive as ever, his eyes scanning you with a critical gaze that never quite softened. âI expect you to behave while Iâm away. Keep things in order, take care of your house duties with your mother and donât let any mischief slip through. Pastor Ben will be in charge for the next two weeks."
You offered a formal, almost mechanical embrace, your body stiff as you pressed against him. The touch was brief, a quick and emotionless exchange that spoke more of obligation than affection. His words felt like a final checklist, a list of expectations that you had long learned to adhere to.
With a nod, you managed a polite, âYes, daddy."
As he turned to leave, he gave one last instruction, his voice trailing off as he stepped toward the door. âRemember, be a good Christian girl. Stay close to God. Make sure youâre not a burden to your mother.â
After he had gone, your motherâs weary voice called from the kitchen. âSweetheart, would you like something to eat? There are leftovers in the fridge. Iâm quite tired and I think I'm gonna go to bed early,â
You shook your head, feigning a lack of appetite. âNo, Iâm full, Mama. Iâll just head to bed.â
âAlright, dear,â she replied, her tone soft but tinged with fatigue. âDonât forget to pray before you sleep.â
You watched her retreat to her room, her movements slow and burdened. The house felt emptier as she disappeared from view, and you knew it was time to execute your carefully laid plan.
With a quiet sigh, you slipped out of bed and crept to your window. The night was still and serene, the air cool against your skin as you pushed the window open. The backyard, bathed in the soft glow of the moon, felt like a secret world just waiting to be explored.
You carefully climbed out of the window, landing softly on the grass below. The night sky was a canvas of stars, each one a twinkling reminder of the possibilities that lay beyond the confines of your everyday life. The cool breeze ruffled your hair, carrying with it the scents of the gardenâjasmine, freshly cut grass, and the distant promise of freedom.
In the darkness, Joelâs truck waited, a silent sentinel against the backdrop of the night. The vehicle was cloaked in shadows, its lights off to avoid attracting any unwanted attention. Your heart raced with anticipation as you approached, the thrill of the forbidden making your steps lighter and faster.
Sliding into the truck, you were greeted by Joelâs familiar presence. His face, partially illuminated by the dim interior light, softened as he saw you. A warm smile spread across his lips, his eyes sparkling with the same excitement that you felt.
Before you could say a word, Joelâs lips met yours in a passionate kiss. It was a moment of pure, unrestrained connection, the outside world falling away as the heat of his touch enveloped you. The kiss was fervent, a melding of stolen desires and whispered promises, each touch a testament to the intimacy you shared.
Joelâs hands were rough and warm, their contrast to your soft skin sending a shiver through your body. As he pulled away, his eyes held a deep, unspoken affection that spoke louder than any words could. âHey there, darlinâ,â he murmured, his voice a soothing balm in the quiet cabin.
The truckâs engine roared to life, a low, rumbling purr that vibrated through the seats. The world outside seemed to blur as Joel drove through the empty streets, the city lights casting fleeting golden streaks across the windshield. Each streetlamp was a beacon in the darkness, guiding you through a night that felt like a dream.
With every mile that passed, the weight of your ordinary life lifted, replaced by the vivid colors of this stolen moment. The night sky above was a tapestry of dreams and possibilities, a perfect backdrop for the intimate adventure you were embarking upon.
The truck rolled to a gentle stop at the top of a secluded hill, its path winding through the darkened landscape like a secret road leading to a hidden sanctuary. The night sky stretched out above, an endless canvas dotted with twinkling stars, their cold light a delicate contrast to the warm cocoon of the truck's interior. Joelâs touch was a constant comfort, the warmth of his hand against yours a promise of the intimacy you shared.
You and Joel made your way to the truck's open bed, where a soft blanket had been laid out. The fabric was cool beneath you, but the warmth of Joelâs body beside you quickly dispelled any chill. You settled in together, his arms wrapping around you in a protective embrace as you both lay back to gaze at the sprawling expanse of the cosmos.
The night was a silent witness to your closeness, the stars above flickering like distant, celestial eyes. The moon hung low, casting a soft, silvery light over the landscape, making the moment feel surreal and dreamlike. Joelâs presence was a soothing balm, his breaths steady and calming against the backdrop of the night.
As you both lay there, the peacefulness of the night was punctuated by your conversation. The topics ranged from trivial to profound, each word a thread weaving the tapestry of your shared moment. The serenity of the night made every laugh and whisper seem more intimate, more precious.
Then, Joelâs voice broke the quiet, a hint of curiosity lacing his words. âTell me more about this Ben,â he asked, his tone light but edged with something you couldnât quite place.
You chuckled, rolling onto your side to face him. âBen? Oh, heâs just this new pastor. Heâs always paying attention to me, it's weird...my friends keep telling me like he likes me, but he's not really my type. He's...too boyish,â you said, trying to convey your disinterest.
Joelâs eyebrows furrowed slightly. âBoyish? Heâs an adult.â
You smiled, playfully snuggling closer. âYeah, but heâs not you.â
Joelâs eyes flickered with something akin to jealousy, though he quickly masked it with a nonchalant shrug. âJealous?â you teased, noticing the subtle shift in his demeanor.
Joel gave a soft chuckle, his laughter mingling with the ambient sounds of the night. âIâm not jealous.â
You continued to tease him, your light-hearted jokes breaking through the quiet night air. Each laugh and playful nudge seemed to draw you both closer, your bond solidified by the shared humor and intimacy of the moment.
However, your mind wandered back to the conversation youâd overheard with your mother. The stories of Joelâs past, of Sarah and Jane, lingered like shadows at the edge of your thoughts. A wave of curiosity and a tinge of apprehension washed over you.
âJoel,â you began tentatively, your voice barely above a whisper, âhow come you never tell me about your life?"
"What do you mean, doll?"
"About Sarah and Jane,"
Joelâs body stiffened beside you, his hand retracting from its position on your waist. The shift was palpable, a stark contrast to the easy closeness youâd just shared. His face hardened slightly, a veil of discomfort settling over his features.
He looked away, his gaze fixed on the distant horizon. âWhat do you want to know?â he asked, his voice guarded and distant.
You felt a pang of regret, your heart aching at the sight of his discomfort. The stars above, once a symbol of wonder and possibility, now felt like distant witnesses to a moment of unspoken pain. You struggled to find the right words, the metaphors of your own emotions becoming tangled in the reality of Joelâs guarded heart.
âI...I just want to understand,â you said softly, your voice trembling slightly. âI know about your life, but it feels like thereâs so much more you havenât shared.â
"And you knew about mine, all of it," you said again.
Joelâs silence was heavy, a deep, almost tangible weight that pressed against your chest. The night seemed to stretch on forever, the stars above a cold, indifferent audience to the emotions playing out beneath them. The warmth of Joelâs touch was still there, but it now felt like a fragile thread, tenuous and delicate.
Joelâs gaze softened, but the weight of his past seemed to anchor him, pulling him into a place he wasnât ready to share. âItâs not easy to talk about,â he admitted, his voice trembling with a mixture of regret and sadness. âSome things are just too hard to revisit.â
Your heart ached at his vulnerability, and you reached out, your voice gentle. âYou can open up to me, Joel. I want to listen. You always listen whenever Iâm down. Iâm here with you,â
Joelâs eyes flickered with a storm of emotions, a mix of frustration and something else, but he remained quiet. You pressed on, your fingers lightly grazing his hand. âDo you ever think about them?"
A tense silence followed, Joelâs expression darkening. He clenched his jaw, struggling with the weight of his emotions. âI donât want to talk about it,â he said, his voice strained and edged with anger.
You tried to close the distance, your hand still resting on his. âJoel, itâs okay to open up.â
But before you could say more, Joelâs frustration erupted. âI just don't want to talk about it!â he snapped, his voice sharp and louder than youâd ever heard.
You flinched, your heart racing as the sudden intensity of his reaction hit you. The night, once a haven of comfort and connection, now felt oppressive, the stars above seeming distant and indifferent to the turmoil unfolding below.
Joelâs eyes widened as he saw the fear in your gaze, and his anger dissipated almost immediately, replaced by regret and sorrow. âFuck, Iâm so sorry,â he said, his voice breaking. âI didnât mean toââ
You tried to steady yourself, holding back the tears that threatened to spill. âItâs okay,â you whispered, though your voice wavered. âIâm sorry."
Joelâs face crumpled with remorse, and he pulled you into a tight embrace. âNo, no, itâs alright,â he said urgently, his hands trembling as they held you close. âIâm sorry, baby. Iâm so sorry.â
You let yourself sink into his embrace, the warmth of his body a balm against the sharp edges of your fear. Joelâs arms were strong and reassuring, his apologies sincere as he gently stroked your back, his touch a contrast to the harshness of his earlier words.
The night around you seemed to settle, the tension easing as Joelâs grip tightened, holding you as if he could shield you from the weight of his own emotions. The stars above continued to shine, their distant light a reminder of the vastness of the world and the smallness of your own worries in the grand scheme of things.
Joelâs voice was soft now, filled with the weight of his remorse. âI didnât mean to scare you. I just...I just canât talk about it right now.â
You nestled closer against Joel, the warmth of his body enveloping you in a cocoon of comfort. âItâs okay, Joel,â you murmured softly, your voice a gentle caress against the backdrop of the night. âIâm sorry to push you, but I want you to know that I am here. Whenever youâre ready to talk, Iâll be right here, just like you are for me.â
Joelâs fingers brushed against your hair, a tender gesture that spoke volumes. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, a whisper of affection that traveled down to your cheek and finally to your lips. The kiss was brief but sweet, a promise of connection and understanding. He pulled you back into his embrace, both of you gazing up at the star-speckled sky.
The vastness of the night felt like a canvas, stretching out endlessly before you. You could feel the weight of your desires and dreams mingling with the cool night air, and a yearning for freedom began to take shape in your heart. âJoel,â you said softly, breaking the comfortable silence between you. âI want to go out. I want to get away from all of this. Will you come with me one day?â
The sincerity in your voice carried a longing for escape, for a fresh start where the past could no longer cast its shadow. You wanted to run away, to leave behind the chains of hurt and disappointment and start anew with Joel by your side. The dream of leaving it all behind, just the two of you, was intoxicatingâa chance to be free from the constraints of your everyday lives and the ghosts of your pasts.
Joelâs eyes met yours, a flicker of determination lighting up his features. He could see the raw honesty in your gaze, the hope that shimmered like the stars above. âI promise you,â he said, his voice steady and sincere, âone day, we will. Weâll get out of here and start fresh. Just you and me.â
You felt a flutter of relief and happiness at his words, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from your heart. The idea of a future together, unburdened by the past, seemed within reach now, a possibility painted against the backdrop of the night sky. Joelâs promise was a beacon of hope, a light guiding you through the darkness.
You lay there, side by side, under the vast expanse of the universe, the stars shining brightly above you. The night felt endless, full of potential and promise. The warmth of Joelâs presence, the softness of his touch, and the certainty of his promise wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, making the future seem just a little bit brighter.
In the quiet moments that followed, you allowed yourself to dream of a different life, one where the past was a distant memory and the present was filled with endless possibilities. With Joel by your side, the journey ahead felt less daunting, and the dreams of escape and freedom seemed like they could one day become a beautiful reality.
***
The sun cast a warm, golden light over the school grounds as you and your classmates, including Emma, practiced your dance routines for the upcoming church event. The afternoon air was filled with the sounds of music and the rustle of your movements as you and your friends rehearsed, perfecting every step and spin. The new Pastor Ben, fresh from Mexico with his wife Jemima, observed with an encouraging smile, his presence adding an extra layer of excitement to the practice.
Pastor Ben, young and charismatic, was the center of attention for many of the girls. His charm and good looks had quickly made him popular, and you could see why. Though you knew he was married, the admiration from your friends was palpable. Jemima, his wife, had been less present in the community, focusing on settling into their new life. You hadnât interacted with her much, and you were more familiar with Benâs friendly demeanor and the sparkle in his eyes that made him somehow likable among your friends.
As the practice came to a close, you and Emma walked outside the school, discussing the dayâs rehearsals and sharing your thoughts on the choreography. The conversation was light-hearted, filled with giggles and the occasional sigh as you both reflected on the challenges and progress made.
Suddenly, Pastor Ben appeared beside you, his presence both surprising and pleasant. âAfternoon, girls. How did the practice go today?â he asked, his attention clearly focused on you.
You could feel the warmth of his gaze as he continued, âAny difficulties? How are you finding the choreography?â
You answered, your voice steady but with a hint of nervousness, âWeâre making good progress. There were a few tricky moves, but weâre getting there.â
Ben nodded, his eyes never straying far from you. âYouâre doing really well. Iâve noticed youâve been putting in a lot of effort. It shows.â
Emma, ever the enthusiastic friend, chimed in, âOh, weâre just working hard! Itâs been a lot of fun, though. Donât you think Pastor Ben has been so encouraging?â
Ben smiled at her but turned his attention back to you. âIâm glad to hear that. I just wanted to check in and see how everyoneâs doing. Is there anything you need help with?â
You felt a mix of emotionsâflattered by his attention but also a bit uncomfortable given the context of the situation. Benâs genuine interest was clear, but it was hard not to feel like you were under a spotlight.
âThank you, Pastor Ben. I think weâre okay for now. Itâs just a matter of practice,â Emma said.
He nodded, âIf any of you ever need any extra guidance or just want to talk, donât hesitate to reach out. Iâm here to help.â
As Pastor Ben walked away, you felt a twinge of relief mixed with lingering confusion. You were still processing the interaction when Ellieâs familiar voice broke through, startling you slightly.
âOh, thatâs Pastor Ben,â Ellie said, a playful tone in her voice. She tapped you on the shoulder, making Emma and you turn to face her.
Emma grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief. âYep, thatâs the new hot pastor,"
Ellie looked between you and Emma with a knowing smile. âSo, whatâs the gossip on Pastor Ben?â
Before Emma could answer, you asked Ellie if she was heading home. Ellie shook her head, her excitement palpable. âNope, Iâm going out with Joel. Weâre going to practice shooting. You know, for deer hunting. Joel and I usually do this.â
Just then, the sound of a truck horn pierced the air, and Ellie waved enthusiastically. âAh, thereâs Joel now. See you later, guys!â
You watched as Ellie walked toward the truck, your gaze meeting Joelâs for a brief moment. You tried to hide your blush, feeling the familiar flutter in your chest whenever Joel was near.
Emma then suddenly said, "Ah the town's DILF,"
You choked caught off guard. âWhat did you just say?â
Emma laughed, leaning in conspiratorially. âYou know, DILFââDad Iâd Like toââyou know the type. Joelâs like the ultimate Southern gentleman. Heâs got that rugged charm. He looks like he works with his hands, and I bet he smells like Marlboro Reds. Everyoneâs talking about how lucky Ellie is. Goddamn, he's just hot,"
You felt your cheeks flush deeper, a mix of embarrassment and annoyance. âEmma, stop. Heâs much older than us.â
Emma raised an eyebrow playfully. âOh come on, youâre telling me youâve never thought about Joel that way? I mean, heâs your dadâs best friend in high school, but just tell me you have right?â
You glared at Emma, trying to hide the twinge of jealousy you felt. âEmma, thatâs inappropriate."
Emma pouted in mock innocence. âOh, come on! Donât be so uptight. Weâre just talking. Iâm sure youâve had some thoughts, especially with how close you are with Joel right?"
You shook your head, trying to suppress the tumult of emotions bubbling inside you. âSeriously, Emma, I donât want to talk about this.â
Emma grinned, undeterred. âAlright, alright. Iâll drop it. But you have to admit, Joelâs a pretty interesting guy.â
You gave her a half-smile, trying to brush off the teasing. âEmma..."
Emmaâs grin remained as she walked alongside you, her excitement infectious despite your lingering discomfort. You both made your way home, your thoughts tangled with the events of the day.
As you approached your house, Emmaâs voice broke through your thoughts. âHey, you know what? My parents are out tonight. How about a sleepover at my place? We can hang out and have some fun. Itâll be a nice break before graduation.â
You hesitated, âI donât know, Em. Iâve got a lot to prepare for graduation.â
Emmaâs eyes sparkled with mischief. âOh, come on! Itâll be fun. Jim will be there too, and heâs a blast. Plus, youâll have me to keep you entertained. Whatâs the harm?â
You raised an eyebrow, trying to mask your reluctance. âI donât want to be the third wheel.â
Emmaâs expression softened as she playfully pleaded. âOh, please. Itâll be fine. Just come hang out. If you donât, my parents might not let Jim over if it's just both of us. Pretty please?â
You sighed, weighing your options. Emmaâs persistence was hard to resist, and you knew it would be a good chance to take your mind off things. âAlright, alright. Iâll come. But let me ask my mom first.â
Emmaâs face lit up with joy. âYes! Thank you! I promise weâll have a great time.â
As you walked inside your house, you found your mom in the kitchen, preparing a simple dinner for herself. The smell of food filled the air, a comforting reminder of home.
âMom, Emma invited me to a sleepover at her house tonight,â you said, trying to sound casual. âIs it okay if I go?â
Your mom looked up, her face reflecting mild surprise but also understanding. âA sleepover? Well, I suppose itâs fine. Just be sure to come home early tomorrow."
You nodded, relieved by her response. âThanks, Mom. Iâll be back early.â
With your motherâs approval, you quickly gathered your things and headed back outside to meet Emma. Her excitement was palpable as she waited for you by the front gate.
âGreat! Letâs go!â Emma chirped, grabbing your hand and leading the way.
As you walked to Emmaâs house, your mind was still clouded by the earlier events. The thought of spending the evening with Emma and Jim was a welcome distraction from the swirl of emotions you had been feeling. You hoped it would be a chance to relax and clear your head before facing whatever came next.
Hours later, the three of you were lounging in Emmaâs cozy living room, the soft glow of the TV casting shadows on the walls. After an exciting board game session, you settled down to watch "Gone with the Wind." Emma and Jim sat close together on the couch, their whispered conversations blending with the movie's dialogue. You tried to focus on the screen, but their growing intimacy was hard to ignore.
Emma giggled softly, her voice barely above a whisper. You glanced over just in time to see them exchanging a tender kiss. Their kisses grew more passionate, and soon they were making out fervently. You turned your attention back to the movie, trying to block out the sounds of their affection, but it was no use.
"I'm going to take Jim to my bedroom," Emma said, her cheeks flushed. "Is it okay if you stay here alone?"
You nodded, your heart pounding. "Yeah, it's fine. I want to finish the movie anyway."
Emma smiled and led Jim to her room, leaving you alone in the dimly lit living room. The hours passed slowly, the film a distant backdrop to the thoughts swirling in your mind. Their muffled voices and occasional moans filtered through the walls, filling you with a mix of curiosity and discomfort.
The next morning, you woke early and decided to make breakfast for everyone. The smell of sizzling bacon and fresh coffee filled the kitchen as you worked. Emma was the first to join you, her hair tousled and eyes bright.
âThanks for breakfast,â she said, giving you a warm smile. âDid you have fun playing board games last night?â
You returned her smile, feeling a genuine sense of friendship. "Yeah, it was fun. Thanks for inviting me."
Emma smiling to you, "You're a good friend," you smiled at her.
You hesitated at first, then asked the question that had been on your mind. "So, uh... about last night... did you and Jim...?"
Emma blushed slightly but didn't shy away. "You mean, am I not a virgin anymore? Yes. and I'm really in love with Jim. He's so kind and supportive. Weâre thinking about getting married after we graduate, moving to a big city like Austin or Houston to start our lives together. He can work in a garage, and I'll stay home."
Her words made you think of Joel, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of longing. "Have you ever been in love?" Emma asked, noticing your pensive expression.
âI donât know,â you replied hesitantly. âI think about someone a lot, but Iâm not sure what it means.â
âAnd have you ever... you know, had sex?â Emma asked.
Your body tensed, the memory of Jamieâs forceful actions coming to mind. You decided to lie and shook your head.
âTypical preacherâs daughter, stay pure, hon,â Emma said, her tone sincere rather than mocking.
You swallowed, feeling a mix of discomfort and curiosity. âHow does it feel like?â
Emmaâs expression softened. âWell, when youâre with someone you truly care about, it can be really special. Itâs not just about the physical aspect, but the emotional connection. Itâs like sharing something deeply personal with someone you love and who loves you back. It can feel very intimate and fulfilling.â
You nodded, trying to understand her words. âBut isnât it scary? Does it hurt?â
Emma smiled gently. âIt can be, especially the first time. But when youâre with someone who respects you and makes you feel safe, itâs a lot easier. Itâs important that you feel comfortable and loved.â
You took in her words, feeling a mixture of curiosity and apprehension. âWhat if Iâm not ready for that yet?â
Emma reassured you. âThatâs completely okay. Thereâs no rush. Itâs important to wait until you feel ready and comfortable. And remember, there are other ways to show affection and care for someone.â
You felt a bit of relief. âLike what?â
Emma leaned in slightly, her voice gentle. âLike, for example, giving him oral pleasure. Itâs a way to show that you care about him and want to make him feel good. But itâs really important that youâre comfortable with whatever you choose to do. Communication and mutual respect are key in any relationship.â
You blushed, feeling a mix of curiosity and embarrassment. âI donât know much about that. It sounds kind of⌠complicated.â
Emma smiled warmly. âIt can seem that way, but youâll learn what feels right for you and your partner as you go along. The most important thing is to have open conversations and make sure youâre both on the same page.â
You nodded, absorbing her advice. âThanks for explaining."
Emmaâs words lingered in your mind as you processed what she had said. The idea of intimacy was something you hadnât explored deeply, shaped by the teachings youâd grown up with. Your fatherâs sermons had painted it as an ultimate sin, a taboo wrapped in layers of guilt and religious doctrine. The notion of sex had always been shadowed by the fear of moral failure, a breach of sacred promises that could never be undone.
Emmaâs perspective, however, was a stark contrast. She spoke of intimacy as a beautiful, shared experience between two people who cared deeply for each other. It wasnât just a physical act but a manifestation of affection and connection. It was a way to express love, to show that you cherish someone in the most personal and vulnerable way.
You thought about Joel, and how his kindness had touched you. His presence was like a gentle light breaking through a stormy skyâoffering warmth, comfort, and a sense of security you had rarely felt before. The idea of pleasing him, of sharing something deeply intimate, seemed like a way to express your gratitude, to show him how much you valued his care and support.
It was as if you were standing at the edge of a beautiful, uncharted garden, its entrance hidden behind a veil of mist and uncertainty. The garden represented a space of connection, where the blossoms of affection and mutual respect could flourish. The thought of stepping into this garden with Joel was both thrilling and daunting. It was a step into the unknown, where the flowers of shared experiences and emotional intimacy awaited.
You contemplated the possibility of finding a way to share this garden with Joel, to offer him a gesture of affection that went beyond words. Maybe through a physical expression of care, you could bridge the gap between your feelings and his, creating a shared space where love could grow and flourish.
Emmaâs reassurance and gentle explanations provided a new perspective, one that allowed you to see intimacy not as a forbidden act but as a potential expression of love and appreciation. You wondered if perhaps, in time, you could navigate this new terrain with Joel, guided by mutual respect and deep affection.
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#joel miller#joel miller x reader#the last of us#pedro pascal smut#joel miller smut#the last of us hbo#tlou#dbf!joel miller x reader#dbf!joel miller#dbf!joel#dark!joel miller x reader#lana del rey#ethel cain#joel miller the last of us#tommy miller#ellie williams#pedro pascal joel miller#joel miller tlou#tlou hbo#joel miller hbo#joel miller age gap
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Mortal Kombat 1 Behind the Scenes AU: Not every Titan
Authorâs note: Iâm very curious how religions work in Liu Kangâs timeline and as I imagine, it must be pretty confusing for Outworlders. Liu Kang is the Protector of Earthrealm, he should be revered as such yet majority of Earthrealms have never heard about this guy but there is so many different holidays and religions that have nothing to do with Fire Lord. So of course Shang Tsung is confused with Bi-Han providing the simplest answer đ¤ŁÂ
[Earlier posts, from #1 to #137] [Picking up the right horror movie] [Noob Saibot] [Will anyone mind if I kick his ass?] [Will anyone mind if I kick his ass?, p. 2] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 1] [I really canât leave you and him unsupervisedâŚ?] [Deep trouble] [Lin Kuei Shang Tsung] [But are you sure it was me, Bi-Han?] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 2 (Shao, I)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 3 (Shao, II)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 4 (Sindel, I)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 5 (Li Mei)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 6 (Li Mei & Sindel)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 7 (Li Mei and Tanya)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 8 (General Shao & Li Mei, I)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 9 (General Shao & Li Mei, II)] [Brothers between filming (6)] [Dark Sub-Zero, p. 3] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 10 (General Shao & Sindel, I)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 11 (General Shao & Sindel, II)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 12 (General Shao & Sindel, III)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 13 (General Shao & Sindel, IV)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 14 (General Shao & Sindel, V)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 15 (General Shao & Sindel, VI)] [Enlisting Outworld friends, p. 16 (General Shao & Sindel, VII)] [No break up then still dating + BONUS] [No break up then still dating, p. 2] [No break up then still dating, p. 3] [No break up then still dating, p. 4] [The Distraction] [...if you ask nicely] [ Just talking] [Shang Tsungâs spell] [Written down direction] [Letâs steal Christmas!]
#mortal kombat#mk1 behind the scenes au#bi han#sub zero#shang tsung#liu kang#the fire lord prefers to stay in shadows and let people live their lives#bi han as lin kuei living his whole life in shadows get it shang tsung of course not XD
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