#dark gallon
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
spaceshiporion · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
tetedurfarm · 8 days ago
Text
hee hee hoo hoo bomb cyclone this week so i will probably not have power for a day or two ✌ hope it doesn't stress the kits out too much, they are doing so good but also wimdy can freak the little guys out a lot
10 notes · View notes
mcmissileproof · 6 months ago
Text
dyeing my hair a weird color won the poll which means if I want to honor that I have to decide on a color that will show up without having to bleach it into a horrid texture
2 notes · View notes
mentalbarf · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
TAKE OUT THE TRASH
don't forget to recycle Twitter: @mentalbarfwtf
Mental Barf 2023
mentalbarf.xyz
6 notes · View notes
stumpybelham · 10 months ago
Text
*wheeze*
TSIA2: done
Me: Certified College Ready, does not have to take prep or remedial anything, will be taking nine gen ed credits over the summer three of which are math, will never have to look at Math With Letters In again (for real this time)! hallefuckinlujah!
Honestly the essay kicked my ass harder than the math portion did. Can I bullshit thousands upon thousands of words of blog posts and smut? Absolutely! Can I write no less than 300 and no more than 600 coherent words (none of which can be "fuck") on a serious subject in one sitting? Apparently I can but I sure as shit did not like it!
Anyway, registration for summer starts on Monday and once I do that and fork over some cash I can relax for a couple of months.
1 note · View note
seveneyesoup · 1 year ago
Text
hatred and violence on planet earth pie needs to set up for four (4) hours after exiting the oven
2 notes · View notes
isdalinarhot · 2 years ago
Text
for most mountain goats alpha couple songs when im making the sadalinar amv in my head while listening to it im mentally substituting references to modern day things with a rough roshar equivalent but see america right in my head actually is dalinar drunk on a greyhound bus in florida
2 notes · View notes
art-for-a-reason · 22 days ago
Text
Culture! Swag! Slightly Skeevy Vibes! I'll take the mod with the fuckoff huge speakers please!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Shaggin-wagon van interiors of the 70's and 80's
2K notes · View notes
endreal · 5 months ago
Text
I know that—objectively—this is bullshit, but I have chosen to believe that the reason the US hasn't formally changed to the metric system is for the poets. When the going gets tough you can still claw your way forward inch by inch, but centimeter by centimeter just doesn't quite carry you. You're in love/excited/nervous/scared and your heart is beating a hundred miles per hour, whoa that sounds fast and dangerous! But a hundred kph? I've been passed by people going faster than that coming out of downtown on capital boulevard. The pound of flesh they take from you is raw and bloody and full of pain, the kilogram of flesh is impersonal and excised in laboratory conditions under strict observation. Liters are okay tho, if only because they sound like meter and a meter is used to measure things, so the measure of a man can be siphoned (as a byproduct of the kilogram) into a bottle with a screw cap lid and stored in a dark cool room until he is found wanting. A gallon would be wasteful, a quart too unserious, and a cup not enough to keep him from withering in the desert sands under 100 degree faeghreignheit sun. ...Okay maybe celsius gets a pass too.
11K notes · View notes
yoshistory · 1 year ago
Text
genuinely cant tell if i made things worse by trying the kitty litter thing
1 note · View note
saintfrenetic · 1 year ago
Text
tossing and turning with the moral and ethical ramifications of stealing a lizard
0 notes
wanderingandfound · 1 year ago
Text
Apparently the first non-breastmilk food I ever had was chocolate (maybe in frosting form?) that my grandpa snuck me when my mom's back was turned. So I guess I can blame a man who has been dead since I was three for my ever-craving for chocolate.
1 note · View note
strang3lov3 · 9 days ago
Text
Scrub Daddy
Tumblr media
QZ Joel visits you for a bath and a little extra (4.7k)
Tags - smut, dom!joel, mean!joel if you squint and I mean really squint because he does in fact fuck you with a certain kindness in his heart. dirty talking you through it. Ah, fuck it. Who am I kidding. pervy!joel too. dubcon, coercion, unprotected PIV, hand job, nyasty QZ joel eats it from the back, ass play and a tasteful amount of ass eating, nipple play, come shot, sex work, takes place in a brothel, JOEL SOUP (bathing that old man), Joel Miller hog reveal (it’s gargantuan, ludicrously capacious if you will), Joel Miller enjoys the finer things in life ie. pussy, Joel Miller tummy. Joel Miller's broad shoulders come with their own warning. Fic help - @beefrobeefcal @noxturnalnymph @endlessthxxghts Thank you all for your brains and eyeballs! A/N - MONTHS AND MONTHS LATE BUUUUT this is for my sweetheart @merz-8 who so generously streams herself playing TLOU and red dead for me 🩷 this fic is inspired by the many times she bathes Arthur. Mercy I love you!!!!!
Joel turns the tap on his shower and with his eyebrows raised, waits quietly to hear the sound of water rushing through the pipes in the wall. Nothing. “God bless it,” he mutters. The water’s been shut off for the past month or so in his apartment complex. He pays extra to have it but alas, nothing fucking works in the QZ. Everything’s broken down, falling apart, or will fall apart - it’s just a matter of time. 
Joel’s got limited options. He could visit the showers downtown, get hosed down like a dog with cold water that feels like knives in his skin, although the showers don’t open until 5AM tomorrow morning. He could wait it out, though he’s pretty fucking rank; he needs a shower yesterday. He could also rinse off at the sink with a damp rag. 
He thinks to himself, hands on his hips and biting his cheeks, weighing his options. Damp rag it is. Joel opens his linen closet and takes his ratty, stringy old rag with him to the kitchen. He wets it with the water from the five gallon jug allotted for drinking, then reaches for the FEDRA issued bar soap that’s meant to be used for everything - hand washing, dishes, laundry, et cetera, et cetera. Joel takes off his shirt and then lathers the bar soap in the rag, the clean and flowery smell permeating the air. He loves this scent - he doesn’t always get this specific one when he picks up his hygiene supplies once a month. God, when did he smell this last? Feels like deja vu. It’s so familiar, it couldn't have been too long ago…
Then the memory hits him: the whorehouse over at the old hotel. That’s where he smelled this soap last. It’s in the men’s rooms but more pertinent to Joel at this moment, it’s the soap used in the bathing rooms - different from the men’s rooms. Joel scoffs and puts the soap and rag on the kitchen counter. Yeah, he smirks to himself, that’s where he’ll catch a bath tonight. He puts his denim shirt back on, stuffs some clean clothes into his leather backpack and heads off into the night for the hotel. 
Joel’s strategic in how he gets there. Curfew’s at six, and it’s eight right now. FEDRA’s not too kind to those out after hours. He moves stealthily through alleyways, avoiding the harsh, white light of the soldier’s flashlights shining from above. Once at the old hotel, Joel knocks in a particular pattern on the side door. On the other side, a man peers through the peephole and verifies Joel’s identity, then opens the door just enough for Joel to slide on through, his belly rubbing against the edge of the doorframe.
It’s dingy on the inside, dark and lit sparingly only by some candles. Joel makes his way to the front room where a different man sits at a table. Joel reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his ration cards, flipping through the notes with a practiced flick of his thumb. “M’in need of a shower,” he says, laying the cards down on the table. He scans the room, recognizes a few familiar faces. 
The man covers the notes with his hand and slides them toward himself, then counts the cards through and nods. “Fourth floor, third door on the right.” 
Wordlessly, Joel heads up the staircase, knees cracking on about every other step. God, he’s getting old. Once at the fourth floor, Joel heads for that third door on the right and pushes it open with one hand, unbuttoning his denim shirt with ease using the other. 
This room is different from the others at this brothel. It has no bed, no carpeting, no soft surfaces of any kind that would be typical for activities performed in a place such as this. This room has just one large bath tub in the middle with a small table next to it, and in the corner is a small lamp, covering the room with a low golden glow. Once-green peeling paint covers the walls instead of torn floral wallpaper and cracks cover every tile on the floor below. Joel peels his clothes off and wraps a faded pink towel around his waist, his tummy bulging over the edge. He waits patiently next to the tub for a knock at the door. 
-
Your hands are wobbling in the dressing room. There’s really not much to dress yourself with, no makeup or anything like that. One of the girls suggested melting a colored pencil with some hot water or a lighter and then using that to paint your lips and cheeks, but she wouldn’t share her own with you. In the mirror, you fix your hair and straighten your borrowed dress, breathing deeply to try and calm your nerves. It’s your first night working here at the brothel, and you’re really not sure what to expect. 
Your boss, Jim, knocks on the dressing room door as a courtesy, but doesn’t wait to make sure everyone is decent. He just waltzes right in and announces to you all that there’s a client in room three waiting for bath assistance.
“Do you know who it is?” one of the girls asks Jim. 
“Yeah,” Jim answers. “Joel Miller. Who’s taking him?”  
The girl who gave you the tip on the colored pencils turns to her friends and whispers, then turns back to you. “You should take him,” she tells you. “You’ll love Joel, he’s nice. Very gentle with his girls. A real lover.” 
Her smile feels disingenuous, and it doesn’t help that her friends are laughing. “Are you serious?”
“Of course,” she lies. “And here–” She pulls out her lighter and a bubblegum pink colored pencil that’s stained black from repeated burning, and lights the end of the pencil on fire so that it melts a bit. She drips it onto her fingertips, then harshly smudges it onto your lips, biting down on a facetious smile. “Yeah. Joel will love you.” 
She doesn’t let you check your appearance in the mirror before ushering you to the bathing room, her hands on your lower back as she pushes you to the door. She slaps your ass, then heads back to the dressing room with the other girls, barely concealing a giggle in her wake. 
You inhale and exhale deeply, then knock on the door. The man - Joel - opens it for you and guides you inside, then locks the door behind you. Clad in nothing but a towel, he crosses his arms as he looks you up and down with a slow scan of his eyes, which makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. His brow is pinched together, he’s biting his inner cheek. His expression turns from studious to curious. 
The first thing you notice  is how handsome he is, you can’t even help yourself. His crossed arms strain his big, thick biceps. He has a full head of curly, graying hair, and a full set of teeth. Tall. He’s towering over you with a hulking form. His top lip sports a big, thick mustache, and his face is covered in a perfectly patchy beard. Sharp. He’s got a sharp nose, sharp jaw, and a sharp look in his inky dark brown eyes. You don’t know what you expected, but it certainly wasn’t him. 
“Name’s Joel,” he says. “Your turn.” 
You tell him your name, and Joel reaches for your hand and brings it to his lips. “S’that your real name?” he asks, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. 
Fuck. “N-no,” you lie. 
Joel chuckles. “So you’re the new girl, huh?” 
“Mhm.” 
Joel laughs again. 
You squeeze past him to get to the tub, then twist the knobs of the bathtub, twisting them quicker when the water doesn’t come out. Joel watches you struggle for a minute, then comes up behind you and puts his strong hand on your lower back, fingers pressing against your ass. “Y’got it all wrong. Do it like this,” he instructs quietly, pulling up on the knobs, causing the water to come pouring out of the spout. He twists the handles himself, holding his hand under the running water to test the temperature. “See?”
“Mhm,” you nod. 
“Learn somethin’ new everyday, don’tcha?” 
Joel rounds the tub, then pulls out the tucked in end of the towel on his waist. You quickly turn your head in the opposite direction, garnering another chuckle from him. Every time he laughs at you, you feel worse. “No point in lookin’ away,” he tells you. “You’re gonna see it whether you wanna or not. Jus’ the nature of these things.” 
Joel hands you his towel, then steps into the long tub. From here, you get a good look at his naked form. He’s muscled beneath his softness, no doubt stronger than an ox. He’s broad, with vast shoulders and a relatively slim waist in comparison. His member is substantially sized, even soft, as it is now. His balls are even bigger, heavier. 
The bathwater moves as Joel’s weight sinks in, rocking back and forth in the tub. He sits down and stretches his legs out, the water running over his feet. You keep your distance as you fold Joel’s towel while waiting for the tub to fill the rest of the way, familiarizing yourself with the toiletries nearby. Washrag, shampoo, bar soap, plastic cup, a tub of petroleum jelly, a glass, and a bottle of whiskey. When the tub is filled, you shut off the water. 
Joel pours himself a large bit of the whiskey into the glass, “Quiet one, ain’tcha?” Joel says to you, then downs his drink. He pours another, then sips it. 
You shrug, unsure of how to respond to the man. You’re not really sure if you’re supposed to talk and if so, what you should say. You move to the end of the bathtub where Joel rests his head, then reach for the cup and fill it with Joel’s bathwater, then wet his graying curls. Little ringlets still form around his neck. 
Shampoo comes next, so you take the small bottle from the table. With wet hands you twist the cap, but it doesn’t come off. Joel waits patiently as you dry your hands on your dress and try again. 
“What’s goin’ on back there?” 
“The uh, the shampoo,” you say. “I can’t get the cap off.” 
Joel reaches behind himself, “I’ll give ya a hand,” he says, and you put the bottle into his palm. He unscrews it with ease, then hands it back to you as he tells you that you seem nervous. “Wait a second,” he says, “C’mere,”  and taps the edge of the tub with his right hand. 
“There?”
“Yeah, sit down.” 
Bottle in hand, you sit at the edge of the tub. “Closer.” Joel tugs you by the arm. “Ain’t gonna bite ya.” 
You pour a bit of shampoo into your palm, then Joel takes the bottle and sets it on the little table. You reach forward and scrub the soap into his hair, quickly working it into a lather. Joel watches your face closely, how you avoid looking him in the eye. He dips his hand into his bathwater then reaches for your face, his steaming hand on your jaw as he uses his wet thumb to wipe away the colored pencil that was hastily rubbed on your lips. You’re stunned, and Joel watches you with dark and hungry eyes, a little bloodshot too. “Pretty one, aren’t you? A girl like you shouldn’t be workin’ here.” 
You ignore him and continue washing his hair, tangling your fingers in the sudsy, thick curls. Joel holds your chin tighter and forces you to look him in the eyes. “You’re not givin’ me the silent treatment, honey, s’posed to talk to your clients. Make a man feel human. Answer me.” You’re intimidated immediately. If he is who the girls call nice, then…
“Wasn’t my first choice of a job,” you admit quietly. 
“How’d you end up here?”
“I needed money,” you whisper. “And the other girls said they wanted someone on bath duty. But that I wouldn’t have to-” 
Joel laughs loudly, cutting you off. “Oh, bless your fuckin’ heart. No, you’ll have to put out,” he says. “Job ain’t just washin’ dirty old men, sweetheart, that’s what a nursing home’s for. Those girls were fuckin’ with you. Sorry.” Joel gestures for you to continue. 
Your blood goes cold. You feel sick, even more nervous than before. Looking through the water, you see that Joel’s already hard for you as well.
“Go on. Speak.”
 You swallow thickly. “They also said you’re nice. Gentle.” 
Joel nods, then sips on his drink. “That’s some wishful fuckin’ thinkin’. Not me, darlin’. Think they’re hazin’ you. But-” Joel sets his drink back down, “-I’ll behave myself, be a gentleman for ya. Scout’s honor.” 
He says it so earnestly that you feel inclined to believe him. “You promise?” 
“Cross my heart,” he says. “I’ll break ya in real nice,” he adds under his breath. His little comment - or rather, what feels like a threat, has you flinching. “Relax, relax.” Joel holds his hand to your waist, keeping you close to him. “You’re fine. I treat all my girls nice. I told you I wouldn’t bite. You’re fine,” he repeats. Joel reaches for the plastic cup and fills it with his bathwater, then gives it to you to rinse his hair with. He closes his eyes, groaning softly. You’ll hear those same groans escaping his lips later when he fucks you, eats you alive. 
You admire his profile, that sharp slope of his aquiline nose, pouty lips and dark eyelashes. Water cascades down his thick neck and the broad planes of his freckled chest, landing into the pool of suds. After rinsing his hair, Joel takes the rag and the bar of soap and wets both, then hands them to you. You lather the soap on the rag, then Joel takes the soap back. You scoot closer to him and begin washing his neck and the muscles surrounding, scrubbing the rag into his skin. 
“Feel tense, don’t I?”
You’re not sure how to answer. “I guess, yeah,” you mumble.
“Yeah, you’ll fix that. Get me right.” 
Joel leans forward and tilts his head down, sighing as you scrub his broad shoulders, leaving little tracks of soap suds on his body. “Lil’ harder, sweetheart,” he groans. “Put some muscle into it.” 
You rub harder into his skin with the rag, massaging those tight muscles in his back and shoulders before lifting his heavy bicep to scrub his arm. Joel lifts his free arm and reaches for you, then tugs the front of your dress down, exposing your cleavage. “S’posed to show me a little skin, darlin’,” he murmurs, his hand lingering on your breast as he rubs his thumb left and right over your skin. “Gotta earn them tips somehow, right?” It makes your face heat up and your heart beat harder, faster. His fingers feel like electricity on your skin as he dips his hand lower, catching your nipple with his fingertips. He rubs the bud until it’s pebbled, then twists it between two fingers, causing you to gasp in pleasure. Joel smiles at that. 
Flustered by both his words and his actions, you pull his hand out of your dress, and Joel wears a crooked smirk. He outstretches that arm for you to wash, and you scrub his limb with the rag, speeding through the activity out of uneasiness and nerves. You drop his arms and quickly pat your hands off on your towel, then get up to leave. 
“Nuh-uh.” Joel grabs your arm and pulls you back down so that you’re sitting on the ledge of the bathtub again, the water splashing a bit when you land. “You ain’t finished yet. Legs need washin’, don’t they?”
“Umm…” 
“Think you’re forgettin’ somethin’ important too,” Joel mutters under his breath. He props his leg up next to you, and you can see his heavy balls and his thick cock standing at full mast beneath the water. With the rag, you scrub up to his knee. 
“Higher.” 
About halfway past his knee. 
“I said, higher.”
You scrub his upper thigh beneath the water’s surface now, washing right where his leg meets his hip. Impatient, Joel pulls the rag from your hand and holds your wrist, then guides your hand to that space between his thighs, wrapping your fingers around his shaft. “Right here,” he instructs you. “I’d reckon a man’s member certainly needs washin’ too, don’t it? ‘Less you like it dirty. Some of us do.”
You quickly stroke Joel’s shaft, just a quick slide of your hand up and down. Joel holds your hand under the water, “Keep goin’,” he mutters. You move your hand and down again, though your back aches from the angle and you have a difficult time reaching him. Joel notices your struggle. “Somethin’ wrong?”
“I can’t like- you’re too far-”
“Mm. I getcha,” Joel says, nodding in understanding. “Stand up for a minute.”
You stand up off of the ledge of the bathtub and Joel shifts in the tub, the water sloshing with his movements. He puts both of his dripping hands on your waist and then turns you where he wants you, then begins bunching up the fabric of your dress. “You do the rest,” he tells you. You pull the dress off of your body, feeling insecure under Joel’s watchful gaze as you fold the garment. “Panties too.”
You shimmy your panties down your legs and tuck them beneath your folded dress, which amuses Joel. So modest, so bashful. Those qualities of yours won’t last long here in the brothel.
After setting the clothes down near Joel’s belongings, you make your way back to him. He’s holding out his large, masculine hand for you to take. “C’mon in, there’s plenty ‘a room for us both. Watch your step,” he warns, using his strength to guide you into the tub. “Attagirl.”
You lower yourself into the bath, the hot water making your skin tingle. “Yeah, the water feels nice, don’t it?”
“It feels good,” you agree. You’ve always loved a hot bath, a rare luxury in the world you live in. 
“Now, where were we?”
Joel pulls you through the water so that you’re straddling his thick thighs, the head of his cock nudges against your pussy which sends a flutter through your stomach. You wrap one arm around Joel’s shoulders to stabilize yourself, your other hand staying below the water’s surface as you once again find his cock. This isn’t so terrible. 
You pump Joel’s cock, memorizing every vein on his shaft with the palm of your hand. He tilts his head back in pleasure, brows knit together as he sighs deeply. 
“Am I doing okay?”
“Doin’ just fine, hon’,” Joel mumbles. “All the way up, all the way down. Jus’ like that.”
On the next pass, starting from the thick tip of Joel’s dick, you squeeze him on your way down, down, until you reach his balls. You give them the kindest of squeezes, earning a moan from Joel. “S’perfect. Fuckin’ A,” he hisses.
And all the way up again. You increase in speed, though to avoid splashing, you don’t work him too quickly. You can feel him pulsing under your touch, a sensation that has your core throbbing. He’s breathing heavier, surely getting close now. You squeeze him harder and incorporate a twist of your wrist into your movements, coaxing his release along. 
Just as you find your groove, Joel stops you. “Yeah, nice try, kid. I ain’t payin’ for a fuckin’ handjob. Could do that shit myself for free.”
Joel spins you in the direction opposite of himself, then nudges you forward. He puts the items sitting on the wooden end table on the cracked floral tile below, then pushes the table over to your end of the bath, the wood creaking and groaning. 
He lifts you up and leans you over the edge of the bathtub, having you rest on the table, the cool air on your wet skin causing goosebumps to erupt. From here, you can see all the cracks in the wood, the swelling from the water damage. “Spread them legs, sweetheart. Make room.” 
The water splashes behind you as Joel moves into position and you brace yourself for the inevitable pain of Joel’s cock splitting you open. 
Only, it doesn’t come. You feel Joel’s thumb sliding through your folds before he spreads you wide, exposing your asshole and your pussy to himself, a picture perfect view. 
“Such a pretty cunt,” he whispers. “A fuckin’ shame it’ll get ruined.”
Joel presses a kiss to your asshole, then kisses his way down to your warm center, before finally dipping his tongue into your warm entrance. He groans at your taste, how sweet on his tongue you are with his face between your cheeks. He kisses his way up, up again, then spits on your tight hole. He circles the muscle with his tongue, tracing round and round before forcing his tongue inside. It’s fucking filthy, what he’s doing to you. All salacious and obscene. But you love it, god do you fucking love it.
“Yeah, old Joel ain’t so bad, is he?” Joel murmurs tauntingly into your flesh. He kisses his way down again, all sloppy and messy. He loves the sweet little sigh of relief you breathe out when he reaches your clit, the area you need him most. He moves his lips slowly against you, loving how you grow slicker and slicker. How your soft cunt feels against his face. Joel breathes you in deeply, taking in the scent of your arousal. No chance in hell he’s washing his face after this. Your musk will live in his facial hair for days, acting as somewhat of a comfort to him. Or perhaps a trophy. 
With his tongue pointed, Joel traces along your folds before plunging into your slick hole once more. He could spend forever between your thighs, that soft, sweet, most private of places. The momentary reprieve could last eternally, if he were so lucky. 
Joel savors all of you. Your hot, wet cunt, how your hips twist and turn as you chase your own pleasure. When he sucks your clit, he can feel your thighs twitch around his skull. Perfect, you’re so fucking perfect. He has half a mind to take you back to his apartment when he’s done with you, keep you all to himself. Leave you lying naked in his bed, be his little slice of heaven in such a cruel, fucked up world. 
Joel circles your clit with his tongue, finding that perfect pleasure that has you moaning his name. Steadily, steadily, he keeps you like this until you’re coming for him, gushing all over his face as he fucks you through your release with his tongue. 
You’re left breathing heavily on the table, trying to collect yourself. Joel leans over you and wears a cocky grin. “What’d I tell you, huh?” he asks. “Told you I take good care of pussy. Shoot, look at ya, all fucked out.”
You can’t help but smile at him. Joel moves behind you once more, spreading your legs wide and slotting himself between them. 
“But,” he says, “Fair’s fair. My turn now, sweet girl.”
Joel tugs on his cock, as it’s softened a bit without any stimulation. God, he’s getting old. Once at full mast again, Joel drags the blunt head of his cock through your folds, all slick and slippery with your wetness. “Ready?” he says, notching himself inside you. It’s already a painful stretch. 
“Mhm,” you hum, uncertainty lacing your tone. 
With one hand guiding his cock inside, Joel has the other on your hip. He squeezes you comfortingly as he inches his way inside. He can see that you’re squeezing your eyes shut, wincing in pain. “Oh, I know, I know, I know,” he coos. “S’a tight fit, I know. Take a deep breath, breathe through it. You got it,” he says. “You are a professional after all, hm?” Joel teases. 
You inhale and exhale deeply, your walls stretching and aching as Joel’s thick cock pushes deeper and deeper inside you. 
“Halfway there,” he tells you. “S’easier f’ya let me rip the bandaid off.” He’s not asking your opinion, it’s a warning of what’s to come. A courtesy, perhaps. 
Joel pushes inside you all the way, the slide inside your body has him groaning and throwing his head back. The intrusion of his cock is so sharp it shatters you and scrambles every thought inside your head and you feel impossibly full, every other sensation disappearing as your mind focuses only on what you feel between your legs. 
Joel pulls out of you slowly, then pushes back in. He repeats the motion until your expression has softened, until you’re not biting your lips and your brows relax into a natural position. “There she is,” Joel praises you. “What a good girl. Knew you had it in ya. Good fuckin’ girl.”
He builds a steady pace, quickening it to his liking in time. His thrusts are fluid, deep, and intentional; he fucks you perfectly, with consideration for both you and himself. This, this was not what you were expecting. You feel both of his strong hands squeezing your middle, and Joel watches how your flesh bulges between his fingers. 
“Joel,” you whimper. “Oh my god.”
“Yeah, feels good. Goddamn, you feel good.”
The water sloshes as Joel slams his hips into yours, not that he gives a shit. He fucks you harder, faster, building that pleasure deep in his gut. Joel leans over you and finds your clit with his hand, pulling back the hood before rubbing tight little circles into the sensitive part. “Gimme another,” he breathes. “One for the road. M’gonna miss this pussy.”
Joel pounds into you, the tip of his cock hitting that special place inside you that feels so good, a primal sort of pleasure. All you can do is lay there and take it, let him guide your orgasm along with his measured thrusts and skilled fingers. It’s only a little longer of him drawing in and out of you, and then you’re coming all over again. It’s a hot and intense, all-consuming sort of pleasure. A sensation you’ve never known before now, before Joel. Fucking nothing compares. 
“Oh, fuck. Christ almighty,” Joel groans, feeling your cunt squeeze around his shaft in non-rhythm. He looks down at where his body meets yours, the creamy rings of arousal you’ve painted onto his cock. Joel quickens his pace even further, hips stuttering as he frenetically pounds into you. You groan at the loss of him pulling out of you, but your displeasure is swiftly soothed by the feeling of his hot spend painting your backside. Rope after rope of his come, all warm and sticky. 
It’s quiet, save for the splashing of water. Joel searches for the rag and the soap from before and lathers both, then scrubs his come off of your skin, which tickles you. “See?” he says. “What’d I tell ya. M’a gentleman. Somethin’ like it, at least.”
Joel steps out of the tub and dries his hair, turning it into a fluffy mess. He pats his body down next, and in your blissful, fucked-out state, you get a perfect view of his plump ass before he dresses himself. He combs his hair back with his fingers, then reaches into his pocket for some ration cards. 
“Let’s see here,” he murmurs, licking his thumb before flicking through the notes. He pulls out a generous amount, then slaps the cards down on the end table where you rest your head. “Think we’re square. You come and find me if I’m short, though, yeah?”
“Okay,” you whisper, barely lucid. 
Joel pushes some hair out of your face and bends down to kiss your cheek. “Until next time,” he says. “Keep outta trouble.”
-
IF YOU ENJOYED PLEAE TELL ME SO! I love talking to you guys, and I love how you make this blog feel like a community. Reblogs, comments, ASKS!!! Are all so appreciated. Mwah. Have a safe week, everyone 🩷
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Extra kitty pics cuz I love ya.
2K notes · View notes
alchemistc · 8 days ago
Text
There are tiny firefighters checking the integrity of the roof in a grid pattern directly on his brain.
The first thought comes as he's filtering towards wakefulness: Ow.
He needs maybe a gallon of water, and for the sun to stop being so fucking bright, and for -
His arm is pinned by something. That's - there's something wrong with that. Why is that wrong?
Tommy snaps his eyes open and immediately regrets it. The sun is too bright, and the bed he's in is too small, and the ceiling spins as he tries to get his bearings.
No clothes.
Sore muscles that don't have anything to do with the roiling of his gut or the nausea as he tries to focus or the way his brain feels too big for his skull.
He's a little afraid to turn his head, so he makes do with shifting his eyes to attempt to figure out why there's weight on his arm.
His stomach lurches dramatically, and Tommy squeezes his eyes shut. Not fucking again.
It's like he can't fucking help himself.
Tommy had known he'd regret agreeing to go to this damn bachelor party. Gregson is a good guy, but his best man is absolutely insane and apparently loaded - they'd all wandered in to the hotel to check in only to find they each had a room, a new suit somehow tailored to their measurements (that was a feat, considering), an itinerary laid out on each bathroom sink that included the places Tommy only ever went to when a buddy took him, and (if he's not mistaken, he'd immediately dropped his off at Gregson's brothers room) a little box neatly filled with party drugs.
It'd been fine, up until they'd split off. Gregson's best man had mentioned something about escorts, and about a third of the married men had turned to Tommy in a panic, like Tommy's sexuality was the only thing that could be a good enough excuse not to cheat on their wives, and Tommy hadn't had the heart to tell them there were definitely male sex workers and they were definitely the kind of thing Gregson's best man would be able to find in a heartbeat. He wasn't interested, anyway. If Tommy found someone to sleep with on this trip, he'd find them him-fucking-self.
So he'd made an excuse. Told Gregson they'd meet him in the bungalow the next afternoon. Six panicked men had followed after him like lost ducklings, across the lobby of the hotel and out into the cooling night.
He'd found a quiet looking bar off the strip, set them all up at the pool tables, and downed three shots in a row the moment he saw a flash of wide shoulders and curls.
It was a problem.
Tommy wasn't a fucking saint. He'd ripped his own heart out of his own damn chest, and sometimes the only medicine to try to heal that still bleeding wound was an ill-advised hookup with someone he'd never see again. Problem was, every guy that'd caught his eye in the last six months had a few of the same features. Tousled curls, blue eyes, a barrel chest, cheeks he could sink his teeth into. He did it because it felt like an apt punishment.
The guy on his arm groans. Shifts his weight. Rolls a shoulder and spins into the cradle of Tommy's armpit.
Tommy risks a peek and regrets it immediately.
"Morning," he says, and Tommy has spent months successfully avoiding this, how did he cross state lines and stumble right into it?
What the fuck happened last night?
Evan's thigh hitches up over Tommy's, criminally, perpetually cold foot tucking into the space between his legs. He slides a hand up the shifting muscles of Tommy's abdomen and there's a flash of memory there - Evan Buckley's eyes going dark and cloudy when he realized that Tommy had trimmed back up post breakup: no more gentle give to his tummy because there was no Evan cooking decadent meals three times a week that Tommy burned off in bed instead of the gym.
The hand glides up, fingers reaching to tweak a nipple, and Tommy turns his gaze to that instead. He can't look, can't see, can't -
"Is that -?"
Tommy ignores every muscle in his body protesting as he snatches at Evan's hand. His left hand.
His left hand that has a gold band settled on the third finger.
Tommy risks running his thumb over his own finger and - yeah. There's skin warm metal on his hand, too.
He waits for the panic. The terror. The absolute agony of knowing what kind of shit drunk Tommy dropped him in.
Only.
The gap in his memory is slowly filling in.
The two of them, buzzed but steady, eyeing each other across the little patio table tucked out back between the bar and a little nickel slot casino. The glittering lights above turning Evan golden as he acknowledged that the both of them had been idiots. Tommy, feeling that draw, the pull that no amount of curly hair or blue eyes on a stranger could replicate. The hand that reached for his when he'd admitted how fucking much he'd missed him.
Evan's expression when Tommy had dropped the stoicism and called him Evan again.
The longer Tommy stares at Evan's hand, the smaller the goofy smile on Evan's face becomes.
He moves like he's going to roll away, so Tommy brackets him in, tucks his face into the disaster of Evan's hair and breathes. "It's...slowly coming back, but uh... was this your idea or my idea?"
"What, running into each other in Vegas at a dive bar off the strip?"
Oh. He's - well, he sounds a little mad.
Doesn't stop him from sinking his teeth into the side of Tommy's pec, though.
"Or actually having the conversation you've been refusing to have with me for months?"
Another bite. Sharper, pointed this time.
"You made us go to three different chapels because you didn't like the look of the Elvis in the first two."
So. Tommy's idea, then.
He can see the edges of it. The of all the bars in all the world mentality that had given him the courage to say his piece, to listen to Evan's. The rightness of Evan's hand in his own, the absurd joy that sizzled under his skin when Evan raised their intertwined hand to press his lips to Tommy's knuckles.
Evan forces himself up, out-muscles Tommy and ignores the tractor beam of light that darts across his face so he can stare Tommy down. "Do you want me to go?"
Tommy wonders where the marriage certificate is. He thinks blindly of the joke about eating it - good luck returning me without the receipt.
"Did we actually sit down and write vows on our phones before we left the bar?"
Hours. Two more rounds of shots and maybe three beers each while they dissected every fucking misstep they'd taken those first six months. He hadn't been sober when he'd thrown it out there, but he hadn't been wasted either.
Tommy doesn't believe in fate. In curses, or the guiding hand of the universe, or soul mates.
But the coincidences seemed stacked, last night. Like this was all inevitable. Like eventually they'd be led back to each other no matter how many times Tommy found a poor substitute, no matter how many times Evan dipped his toes in and found he just wasn't as interested in someone new as he'd hoped he might be.
"I liked the bit about boils and all," Evan murmurs, and Tommy - well, he has to kiss him about that, doesn't he?
This doesn't solve anything. They've spent six months apart. They've got a share of issues that'd make a grown man weep. They - God, did they even say the words last night? He doesn't think they said the words.
Evan breaks the kiss to look him square in the eye, like he's read Tommy's mind. "I love you. I never stopped. Is that - is that enough, for now?"
Tommy feels light as a feather. Bright, and happy, and terrified out of his fucking mind. "Evan. I love you. We should get a divorce."
He narrows his eyes. Twists the ring with the pad of his thumb. "I think we could probably just do an annulment." Tommy laughs. Evan's vows are coming back in bits and pieces as his gaze in this moment mirrors the one he'd had on his face with a mildly better Elvis impersonator standing between them. Platitudes about not finding something but making it. Fancy words that only meant something because Evan wanted them to. Because Tommy did.
"I'm keeping the ring," Tommy says, and Evan's grin splits down the middle as he leans back in, somehow not bothered in the least by Tommy's morning breath.
418 notes · View notes
sassassian · 3 months ago
Text
A marauders headcanon I am unwilling to negotiate is that James and Lily loved Remus so much and vowed both to themselves and to each other that they would take care of him always, and that didn’t change even when things got dark and there were shadows of doubt that he could be the spy in the Order. They talked about it and decided that even if he were the spy, that’s on him, and they won’t cheapen the way they love by acting on an unproven possibility. So after everything happens and Remus is /desolate/ under the grief, and he’s wasted away for months and ignored every knock on his door and every attempt made to check on him, he gets to a point where he knows he’s either gotta kill himself or find a fucking way to survive.
So he gets up and he showers and puts on clothes that he’s positively swimming in with how much he’s shrunken in on himself and he sends an owl to Gringotts to see how much money he’s got tucked into his abysmal savings, and when the owl comes back the balance is tens of thousands of gallons more than he’s ever even seen in it.
And that’s how he finds out that James and Lily wrote him into their wills. That they’d set aside money for him to just in case they couldn’t be there any longer to mysteriously refill his cupboard with canned goods and his fridge with fruit and veggies every time they stopped by, or to bring him sweaters that’d grown out of that just happened to be in his size with the tag still on them, or line the pockets of the private healer that regularly came to tend to him after a particularly bad full moon.
It’s how he’s able to survive the next year. It’s why he decides to. Because even though it feels impossible to be alive in a world without them, they’d already made a plan to make sure he could do it.
515 notes · View notes
chososprettyprincess · 4 months ago
Text
» synopsis - ⟡⋆˙ sukuna who can’t help but breed his concubine.
» contents - ⟡⋆˙ sukuna’s a TEASE & a hard dom, squirting, creampie, sukuna calls the reader degrading names LIKE A BUM 😒, slight oral? m! receiving, penetration, breeding kink, unprotected sex, true form sukuna + heian era sukuna
» warnings - ⟡⋆˙ sexual themes.
┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ⟡ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
"uraume." sukuna calls out for his servant as she gives him a glance.
"please go get my concubine." he ordered loudly but uraume stayed unshaken as she nodded.
"yes master."
you walked into his big, dark chambers just to see him with only his loincloth on laying on the bed.
he laid there on his back, resting his eyes as they slowly opened once you came in the room.
sukuna sat up sighing as all 4 of his arms were crossed. "you took long enough." he stated as he got up and walked towards you.
"undress." he simply stated and walked back to the bed and sat there as you climbed onto the bed.
he watched in amusement and coldness as you undid your kimono as he leaned on his elbow.
"mhmm, my sweet concubine's smell is so intoxicatinggg." he draggged the word before pulling you closer as he licked his lips.
you were silent the whole time as he smiled wickedly and was now on top of you, the masochist slut in you couldn't help but be turned on.
he lifted his loincloth as he was hovered over you, his leaking tip presented before you.
"clean me." he stated as you didn’t waste no time opening your mouth and licking his cock clean from pre-cum.
he smirked, "good girl.” he said as he placed a soft kiss on your temple before moving down and spreading your legs.
"ive neglected you huh?" sukuna stared at your dripping and twitching core as he gave your pussy a harsh slap.
"speak." his smirk had already faded as he stared at you with that cold look as you quickly nodded.
"you always choose other concubines over, my lord.." you said as he just chuckled darkly.
"thats because you don't deserve my attention at times." he sighed and rubbed his tip over your core.
"although, i prefer you over them. you dont speak to much, i might even make you my wife." he chuckled and licked his lips.
"mhm, ill breed you. you'll carry my heir okay? your the only one worthy too, my dear concubine."
he smiled darkly and started at a slow pace.
you felt so warm inside as he stretched you as you could see the bulge in your stomach and all.
he let out a groan as he slowly sink into your heat as your eyes rolled back into your skull as he quickly put you in a mating press.
"cmonn, stay with me now" he teased as he slammed into you hard making your eyes shot open. "mhm, thats more like it."
sukuna said as he continued to fuck the SHIT out of you.
his form was so sloppy yet so aggressive and firm as he groaned like a animal and kept shoving his cock into you, deeper and deeper.
meanwhile, you were in a whole different universe with all this pleasure.
he always made you go dumb on his cock.
"fuckk.. you whore, you want to have my heir desperately, hm?" sukuna asked, when you didn't respond, he shoved even deeper into your slick hole.
"respond." he said as you nodded quickly. "i do, i do- my lord- im gonna-" you said as he just smiled.
"so quickly? you must've been desperate, whore" he said and chucked. your release came gushing out as you wet the sheets under you.
"filthy whore" he said not giving you a break as he overstimulated you as he moaned out and whined from pleasure.
all those moans and sweet sounds coming from you mouth were getting him closer and closer by the minute.
"you want my seed bad? how bad?" he teased as he gritted his teeth to keep in a moan.
you nodded as he smiled and shoved even deeper, kissing your womb.
he groaned and let out deep moans.
you felt ropes- no, gallons of his seed filling you up as some of it leaked onto the bed.
he slowly pulled out, exhaling as you were laying there panting as he had his hand on your cheek as he called out.
"uraume!" he called out to his servant outside the room as she answered calmly.
"go alert the followers, my— no our heir will soon be born."
sukuna stated smiling as his eyes glowed in the dark.
492 notes · View notes