#dark book series skz

[kpop---scenarios]

Dark Book Series (1) - Masked

Pairing: Lee Felix x Reader

Warning: A lot of mentions of murder, blood, and smut. [18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

Word Count: 5.4k

Taglist: @velvetmoonlght @skittlez-area512 @skzdust @gnabnahcsworld @onlyhyunjin @stephanieeeyang @lostasoulinthedarkness @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @iam-wh0

@ayyonoona

Felix | Hyunjin | Lee Know | Changbin | Jisung | Chan | Seungmin | Jeongin

“You're not still seeing Felix are you?” Your best friend, Yujin asks, switching her load of laundry from the washer and putting it into the dryer.

You turn your head to look at her and laugh. “Yeah.” You smile. “We've been seeing each other for a few months. Why?” You ask, also switching your load. She was only at the laundromat with you because the machines in your building broke and your landlord is too much of a cheap ass to get them fixed. Though Yunjin has her own home, the both of you prefer the bulky washer and dryer at the shop, so you can do a bigger load.

She bites her lip, glancing down at her phone, typing things in, holding it to her chest as she speaks. “Listen… I'm not saying it's him for sure. But you remember that coworker you were having issues with? June?” She mumbles.

**

“Oh my god! June!” You exclaim. “Look at this.” You say, waving her over. June rolls her eyes as she gets up from her desk, shuffling over to you.

“What?” She snaps.

“We overpaid to the LCC. Look. Like, 8 thousand dollars too much.” You say, pointing to the payment total. “I'll go tell Soobin.” You say, pushing away from your desk.

“No!” She yells. “I'm already up, I'll go tell him.” She finishes, walking away from your desk. You watch her walk over there, faintly hearing every few words she tells him.

“Overpaid…8 thousand… Y/N.” Oh good. She mentioned it was you who found it. You were worried for a second that she would try to take the credit. She had been absolutely fucking awful to you as a mentor the last few months. Nothing you did was ever good enough in her eyes, even the teeniest, tiniest mistake, she pointed out, rather loudly, calling you an idiot. This happened on multiple occasions.

“Y/N.” Soobin calls out. “My office, please.” He says, gesturing June into his office, just as you see your department head walking straight towards Soobin's office. This made your stomach turn. What was going on?

You got up from your chair, making your way down the little corridor hallway down to his office, behind the head of the department. You step inside, closing the door, taking the last seat available as everyone stares at you.

“What happened with the LCC?” Mr. Jung, the head of the department, asks you.

“I was just relooking at the invoice today and noticed that it was overpaid.”

“By 8 thousand dollars?” He asks. “Who paid them?”

“June did.” You say, gesturing to her. She scoffs at you.

“I'm not an idiot like you, Y/N. I would never overpay like that.” She says. “Y/N paid the invoice.” She says, smirking at you.

“W-what?” You gasp. “No I didn't. It has June's name on it.”

“Do you even know how to read?” June laughs. “Who hired this one?” She chuckles, looking between Soobin and Mr. Jung.

“You liar!” You snap. You can feel the tears brimming in your eyes.

“Y/N, enough.” Mr. Jung says. “We will conduct our own investigation. You both enjoy the rest of your day. It's 5 pm, so go home.” He finishes. You stand up first, walking out of the office, while June calls your name, but you ignore her. You didn't want to deal with her, only thinking about the fact that your new boyfriend was down on the sidewalk waiting for you.

As fast as you can, you gather your belongings, unfortunately still meeting June at the elevator. The ride down to the ground floor is quiet. You can feel your ears turning red as you fume. The bell dings, opening the door, and you walk out quickly, not bothering to hold the door for June. The second you see Felix, it's like a sense of relief washed over you. You walk straight to him, his arms wrapping around you, holding you closely.

“June's a bitch.” You mumble into him, just as the door opens, out walking the bitch herself.

“Can you take your PDA elsewhere?” She scoffs. “No one wants to see that.”

“I'm going to guess you're June.” Felix says, pulling away from you.

“I-I am.” She says.

“Nice to meet you. I'm Y/N’s boyfriend, Felix.” He says, extending his hand. She shakes it, but winces. You not noticing how hard Felix was squeezing it. “I hope you're treating my girl well.” He finishes, releasing her hand. She nods her head, wiggling her fingers as she walks away.

“I don't like her.” Felix laughs, opening the car door for you.

“Mhm, me either.” You mumble, getting into the passenger seat. Not noticing the smile that spread across Felix’s lips as he made his way to the driver's seat.

**

“Yeah? What about her?” You ask, feeling nervous. You glance around the laundry shop, it's quiet for a Saturday night.

Yujin turns her phone screen to face you, showing you the latest news article.

“Woman - 57, Found Dead In The Park.” You mutter, scrolling down slightly. “June Erikson, 57 who was an employee at JPH accounting, Found dead this morning from multiple stab wounds…” You trail off.

Yujin looks at you with wide eyes, placing her phone back in her lap. “That's so sad. Oh my god. I feel awful for her family.” You sigh.

“That's it?” Yujin exclaims. “That's how you react to that news?” She asks.

“I'm sorry?” You say. “How am I supposed to react?”

“You're supposed to be scared!” Yujin yells. “Felix did this!”

“What? Why?” You laugh. “Do you know something I don't?”

“I'm telling you, Y/N. It was Felix. You complained about her a lot. Think about it.”

**

“Oh my god. I can't deal with her anymore!” You exclaim to Felix. “Everyday it's something.”

“Baby, it's only Monday.” Felix laughs. “What happened?”

“She told everyone that I fucked up an account, and it wasnt me! I don't even have access to that account!” You whine.

“Just breathe, baby. Tomorrow will be better.” He says, placing a kiss on your lips.

~

“So how was it today?” Felix asks, as you slide into the car.

You sit there with your arms crossed, sniffling. You're trying not to cry but June was horrendous to you and you hated her so much.

“Maybe tomorrow.” Felix sighs, resting his hand on your thigh as he drives away from your work.

The next three days were all the same. June was relentless to you, she never let up, she was never nice and you so desperately wanted to quit even though you absolutely loved your job. She was just the worst part of it the entire thing.

“Oh babe.” He sighs, wrapping you in a hug. “You won't have to worry about her for much longer.” He smiles.

**

“Okay?” You laugh, rolling your eyes. “I complained about her to you as well. Are you sure you didn't kill her?” You ask.

“You know I'd never do that!” She scoffs.

“Just like I know he wouldn't do that either.” You sigh. “You really gotta stop this.”

“I'm sorry, I don't believe it wasn't him. Remember the night you met?” She asks.

It never fails, Anything Felix does or says has her bringing up that night.

*

“Fuck men!” You scream, your friends dragging you down the street, as you all drunkenly laugh, enjoying your night out. You had just broken up with your last boyfriend, a real piece of shit, and you were so happy to be free, and able to have fun and do what you want.

“Fuck you, bitch!” Some man yells, glaring towards you and your friends.

“Aww, did that upset you? Someone's got small dick syndrome.” You laugh, yelling back as they try to drag you away.

“The fuck did you say to me?” He screams, rushing towards you. He stomps towards you, screaming, spit flying from his mouth as he approaches you, waving his finger. You close your eyes, tensing up as you wait for some sort of impact, but it doesn't come. You open one eye, peaking out, seeing a man standing in front of you, the man who was previously screaming at you, stopped in his tracks.

“You better watch what the fuck is gonna come out of your mouth next.” he snaps, no hint of humor in his very deep voice.

“This doesn't involve you.” The man scoffs, trying to move past the man who was helping you. He doesn't get very far, the man helping you, grabs the other by the collar, pulling him in close.

“You take one more fucking step, and I'll kill you and your whole fucking family. Understood?” He asks.

The man looks at you, muttering something about you not being worth it, before pushing the man off of him, turning around to go back to his friends.

The man who helped you turned around, and you felt like you had died and gone to heaven. He was the most attractive man you had ever seen. Blonde hair slicked back, dark eyes and a sinister smile.

Just your type.

“Thank you…” You trail off, unable to take your eyes off him.

“Felix.” He laughs.

“Thank you, Felix.” You smile, slowly shaking his hand. You were so mesmerized by him, you couldn't look away.

“Y/N…” Your friend, Jennie, urges, grabbing your shoulders.

“Come on. Let's go.” Jisoo whispers, pulling on your other hand.

You smile at Felix, walking backwards with your friends, still staring at him as he smiles, watching you walk away. From that moment on, you knew he'd be yours.

“That was fucking weird.” Yujin says, laughing. You can tell it's her uncomfortable laugh, she didn't like him right off the bat.

“It was hot.” You say.

“You're a psychopath.” Yujin shivers.

*

“He was just trying to protect me. And you, Jennie and Jisoo. He's not a bad man. I don't know why you can't just look past that.” You huff, grabbing your clothes from the dryer. “Look, I gotta go. Felix is waiting for me. Just please try to give him a chance?” You half smile, leaning in for a quick side hug, hoping things between her and Felix would get better.

A few weeks later, Jennie, Yujin and Jisoo had finally agreed to go out with you and Felix. You were so excited that all your favorite people were going to be in the same room, getting to know each other and hopefully finally getting along.

“I don't know why she doesn't like me.” Felix sighs, the two of you sit in a quiet pub where the music isn't as loud, people are calmer and the atmosphere is a little more relaxed.

“She will babe, I promise.” You smile at him, grabbing his hand. “Tonight she'll see how great you are.” You finish, leaning in for a quick kiss.you hear the bells on the door ringing, along with loud chatter. You can already tell it was your friends coming in. You turn around smiling and waving them over to the table, you and Felix already were sat at.

“Hi guys.” You smile as they all sit across the table from you two. “What's going on?” You ask.

“Jennie was just telling us about Hyunjin, she thinks he's going to propose.” Jisoo giggles. Your mouth drips as you grab her hands.

“Oh my god! That's so exciting!” You shriek. “Aw, you'd make the most beautiful bride.” You gush. You glance over at Felix, who's smiling, watching you with your friends.

“Sorry babe.” You laugh. “I’d officially like you guys to meet Felix.” You say, pointing to him. “Felix, this is Yujin who you sort of know, Jisoo and Jennie.” You say, pointing out each one. Felix stands up, shaking each one of the other hands, Jennie and Jisoo giggling as they look at him, but Yujin is straight faced, giving him a little smile.

She was going to be tougher than you thought.

“What do you guys want to drink?” You ask. They all give you their drink orders, Felix slides you his card with a wink, as he begins to talk to your friends, Jennie and Jisoo already immersed in the conversation as Yujin sits back with her arms crossed, observing the interactions.

“Hi.” You smile at the bartender. “Can I get 3 vodka crans, one vodka and sprite, a rum and coke and then 5 shots of tequila please?” You ask, setting down Felix’s card.

“Need some help, darling?” You hear a deep voice from behind you. You smile, turning around, expecting to see Felix but instead you're met with the face of a man you don't know.

“No thank you.” You say politely, grabbing a few drinks, taking them to your table and heading back to the bar for the rest.

“You sure? A pretty girl like you can't do everything yourself.” He winks.

“I'm good. Thanks.” You say, grabbing the rest of the drinks. The man grabs your wrist, holding you in your spot. By the time you look up at him, Felix has already gotten up and made it to you, grabbing the man's arm and pulling it off of you.

“She said she was good, man. Take the hint.” Felix says, taking a few drinks from your hand, and moving out of the way for you to go first. You blush as you make your way back to your seat, Jisoo and Jennie giggling at the interaction that just happened.

You didn't notice Felix turning his head to glare at the man, but Yujin sure did. A few hours later, Felix gives you a long kiss, heading to the bathroom, while you girls drunkenly gush about anything and everything.

“Thoughts, feelings, concerns?” You ask, as soon as Felix is out of ear shot.

“I like him!” Jennie exclaims.

“Me too!” Jisoo smiles.

“I don't like him.” Yujin yawns. “He's fake. He's acting and I don't fucking like it.” She snaps.

“You're never going to be happy for me, are you?” you sigh, feeling slightly defeated.

A few minutes of silence later, Felix wanders back from the bathroom, rubbing his hand along your back. “You ready, baby?” He asks, letting out a yawn.

“Absolutely.” You smile. “Thank you girls for coming out tonight. Let's do it again soon!” You smile, but give Yujin a little glare before you slide your fingers in between Felix’s.

“It was really nice to meet you guys. Thanks for a great night.” Felix smiles towards all three of the women. Jisoo and Jennie wave to you both, while Yujin keeps her arms crossed, avoiding eye contact.

“I'd say that went well.” Felix smiles at you, as you both pass the alley on your way home. You don't have the heart to tell him what Yujin said.

“I think so too.”

**

The next morning you woke up to a few missed calls and texts from Yujin. You open one eye trying to focus without closing your eye, until the headline she texted you catches your eye.

“Man Found Dead Outside Local Pub.” You read.

You dial Yujin's number, rubbing the bridge of your nose as you wait for her to answer.

“Did you read the article?” She asks, answering the phone.

“Yeah?” You say. “Who is that?”

“The guy from the bar!” She yells. You crawl out of bed, careful not to wake Felix as you shuffle to the bathroom.

“What guy?” You ask, quietly closing the bathroom door.

“The one that came up to you when you were getting drinks.” She harshly whispers. “He was murdered. Just like June!”

“Okay? So there's a killer out there. Honestly Yujin. I appreciate you looking out for me, but this really is getting tiring. You don't spend time with him like I do. You don't know him.” You sigh.

This shit was giving you a headache.

“I'm just trying to protect you!” She yells.

“Seems like the only person I need protecting from is you. You're trying to ruin what is probably the best relationship that I've ever had. Enough.” You snap, ending the call.

After that day, Yujin had gotten to Jennie and Jisoo, and their once fondness for Felix, turned into hate awfully quickly, and you hated it. You truly did not understand where they were coming from. He didn't hit you, he didn't yell at you and call you names. He treated you like a princess, listened to you, cheered you up, he baked for you. He was everything you ever wanted and more, and there was absolutely no way you were going to let your friends ruin this relationship for you. So you stopped going out with them, you responded to calls and texts but not in the same way you did before. Your responses were dry, responding with the bare minimum answers and you knew they knew that you were disappointed but they were still your friends and you were still going to try to get them to see Felix the way you did.

“I just don't get it.” You whine to Jennie and Jisoo. “You guys loved him when you met him.”

“He was great…he might still be but like… Yujin had some really good points too. It's only been like, what, 5 months of the two of you dating and two people that have come into contact with you have died?” Jennie says.

“It's kinda crazy.” Jisoo adds.

“So is thinking that Felix is the kind of man who goes around murdering people.” You scoff. “That's kind of a stretch, don't you think?”

“Is it?” Jisoo asks.

You let out a long sigh. You were so frustrated with how they were acting but unfortunately you weren't able to control the way other people react.

“Come on.” Jennie smiles. “Yujin is waiting at the bar.” She finishes, pulling your hand. Felix had gone out with some of his friends, which had led you to deciding to go out with yours, but you had a feeling you were going to regret it.

And you did.

“Y/N!” Yujin smiles, standing up to hug you. She was surrounded by four men when the three of you walked into the bar. “I'm so glad you came. I've missed you.”

You smile back at her.

“I missed you too.” You say, wrapping your arms around her, hugging her back.

“Come, sit, meet some people.” She murmurs, pulling you down beside her.

“This is Yunho, San, Hongjoong, and Mingi.” She says, pointing to each handsome man sitting around the table. You give them each a small smile and a wave, feeling uncomfortable, almost like this was set up, for you specifically.

“So, Y/N.” Mingi smiles. “What do you do for work?” He asks.

“I uh, working at an accounting firm.” You respond, taking a sip of your drink. “What about you?”

“How's that? Fun? Boring?” He laughs. “The four of us are in a band.” He smiles, motioning between himself and the other three.

“That's cool.” You respond, trying to catch the attention of Yujin.

“Would you… Maybe wanna get out of here? Go somewhere more private to get to know each other?” Mingi asks. You raise your eyebrow as you stare at him.

“What did Yujin tell you this was?” You ask.

Mingi laughs. “To be honest, she thought we would mesh well. This is like a blind date… Isn't it?”

“I have a boyfriend.” You say, sliding your chair back, standing up and walking towards Yujin who had moved down towards Hongjoong. “Seriously?” You snap, grabbing her arm.

“What?” She asks, trying to play innocent.

“Don't. Don't do that innocent act shit. A blind date, Yujin? Really?” You respond.

She throws her hands up in frustration. “Would you have come if I told you?” She asks.

“Obviously not.” You spit.

“Exactly! There's better out there for you! You just needed to be shown.” She smiles.

“I'm not leaving Felix for Mingi.” You say. “He seems lovely, but I'm happy. Why can't you get that through your head?”

“Because!” She yells. “How can you be in love with a murderer!?”

“I can't. I can't do this with you anymore.” You scoff. “I'm just done.” You finish, walking back to your chair to grab your bag. “I'm sorry Mingi, it was nice to meet you but I have to go.” You smile, grabbing your bag and walking out the door.

Yujin called and texted apologies everyday. For months. And you didn't respond to any of them, you were too mad and frustrated at her to respond calmly.

**

“Another text.” You sigh, looking down at your phone.

“Babe.” Felix pipes up. It had now been 3 months since you had spoken to Yujin. “I think you need to forgive her.” He says.

You look up at him, shocked. “What?”

“It's been months. How many times does she need to apologize for what she's done? She's your best friend.” He says.

“Yeah… but she set me up on a blind date, Felix. How could she think that's okay?” You ask.

“Because she's being protective of you. Like I am. Was I happy about it? Absolutely not. Do I understand where she was coming from? You bet.” He says. “She'll come around.” He smiles.

“What if she doesn't?” You ask.

“Then we'll make her.” He winks.

**

A few days later, you're sitting in Yujins house with her. All the crying, hugging was finally finished.

“Okay.” Yujin, sighs. “I know what your answer is probably going to be. But I'm going to invite you anyway because I love you and I hope you'll come.”

“Okay?” You laugh, raising your eyebrow, curious about what's going to come out of her mouth next.

“I'm having a Halloween party next weekend. Costumes, drinks, games, the works. I really hope you'll think about coming.” She smiles.

“Oh!” You exclaim, laughing. “That sounds fun! Felix loves Halloween and dressing up.” You laugh, pulling out your phone to text him.

Yunjin sits there silently for a second, you can see her face sort of contorting as she thinks about how to put her next sentence as delicately as she can. You already knew what she was going to say. It had been 9 months now, and she still didn't like him or trust him.

“Actually, I just meant I'd like you to come. I'm sorry, but he's not invited.” Yujin whispers, twiddling her thumbs together.

“Yujin. Did we not just have a whole episode of working things out?” You snap.

“Yeah we did and I'm grateful for that because I've missed you. But he's still as fucking weird, intense and controlling as he was that day!” She snaps. “You deserve better! But you keep getting with these fucking losers.”

“Controlling? You've met him like twice, and put in no effort, except to judge him. He's not controlling.” You sigh.

“Then why don't you ever come out anymore? We used to do fun things all the time.” She pouts.

“Because of you! And your lack of consideration for my relationship.” You snap. “If you had a little more respect for me and Felix, then maybe I would.”

“Yeah, sure. It's not him at all.” She scoffs.

“Okay, I'm gonna go. Text me the details for the party. I'll think about it.” You sigh, getting up off the couch and heading for the front door.

You already knew you'd be going to the party. You knew Felix would be joining you, and you were all going to have a great fucking time.

**

The next weekend, you showed up to the Halloween party in a full Harley Quinn costume. You thought you did an amazing job on the costume, and by your friends' reactions, they thought so too.

“I'm so happy you decided to come.” Yujin smiles, pulling you in for a hug.

“Yeah.” You laugh. “Me too.”

“So what's the plan?” You ask, grabbing a drink from the fridge.

“It's just gonna be us four for a few hours. We're gonna pregame until the party starts around nine!” She grins.

“That sounds perfect.” You smile, taking a sip of your drink.

“Jisoo!” Yujin calls out, you, Jennie and her gathered around the island in the kitchen, waiting for Jisoo to come downstairs.

“Should I go look for her?” Jennie asks.

Yujin sighs. “Yeah, I guess. She was done like 30 minutes ago, I don't know why she isn't down here already.”

Jennie leaves the kitchen, heading towards the stairs. You and Yujin are chatting about nothing, when you hear the start of a scream before it's cut off. You both look at eachother, walking forward, very slowly, your arms linked together.

“Jennie?” You call out, in a semi whisper. “Are you okay?”

You hear footsteps making their way down the stairs. Jennie rounds the corner, but she's not alone. Someone in a mask stands behind her, a knife placed to her throat.

“Jisoo? Did you completely change your costume?” Yujin laughs. “Scared the shit out of her, I didn't you?” She says to Jennie, who has tears rolling down her cheeks. She's trying to hold in her sobs as the person behind her cocks their head to the side.

Yujin realizes quickly that it's not Jisoo under the mask. “Who are you?” Yujin asks. “What do you want?”

No answer.

You and Yujin stand there, breathing heavily as Jennie mouths pleas to the two of you, begging you to help her.

“Just step away from h…” You begin, stepping forward. The knife is pulled away from her throat, she breathes a sigh of relief, hunching over as she tries to catch her breath. The person grabs onto her hair, yanking her back up before plunging the knife through her back, the tip poking out of her stomach.

“No!” You and Yujin scream in unison, watching your friend have the life taken from her.

She gasps and gargles as the knife is ripped out of her body and shoved in again, and again, and again, until she can no longer stand. The masked person shoves her lifeless body to the floor, blood pouring from her mouth and each wound, the blood pooling around her body on the floor.

Screams erupt from you and Yujin, tears spilling from your eyes. The two of you go through the double doors to the living room, both of you frantically trying to find your cell phones. Jennie's body is dragged into the living room, streaks of blood left on the floor as she's dropped near the two of you.

“Why are you doing this!?” Yujin screams. “Where's Jisoo!?”

The masked person walks towards you two, turning towards the closet in the hall, pointing there.

“No, No…She's dead.” You gasp, crying a little harder.

“What the fuck did we ever do to you!?” Yujin screams. You let go of her hand, walking towards the faceless person. “Y/N!” Yujin screams. “What are you doing!?” She panics.

As you get closer, the person begins to lift the mask, and you're met with the handsome face of your boyfriend.

“Felix?” She gasps. You turn around, looking horrified that it's your boyfriend. She was right.

Of course she was. He walks up behind you, placing the knife against your neck as he places a small kiss on the side of your neck.

“Please don't kill her.” Yujin cries.

“Oh.” You laugh, wiping away your tears. “He's not going to kill me.” You giggle, taking the drenched knife from his hands.

“Hi baby.” Felix whispers in your ear.

“W-what is happening?” Yujin gasps.

“You know, Yujin. I got really tired of you accusing Felix of being a murderer.” You laugh. “Even though you were spot on.”

“She was.” Felix laughs. “You should have been an investigative journalist or a police officer.”

“So he did kill those people! And you knew?” She asks, her face contorted into a disgusted look.

“Yes, and yes.” You laugh. “Your constant nagging was getting really annoying. So when I approached Felix about an idea I had, I knew he would be totally in.”

“You planned this?” She asks. “We're supposed to be best friends!”

“Yeah, supposed to be. But you just couldn't let me be happy! You really have no one else to blame but yourself.” You sigh. “But I also had a condition. Felix had to leave you…” You pause.

“Thank you… thank you… I'm not ready to die.” She sobs.

“Oh, honey, no.” You laugh. “He had to leave you for me.”

“What?” She whispers. You grip the knife in your hand, walking towards hers.

“If you had just left me alone this whole thing could have been avoided.” You sigh, grabbing her shoulder with one hand, forcing the knife into her stomach. She stares at you with wide eyes as you push the knife in a little harder.

“Oh baby.” You laugh. “You were right, this is fucking exhilarating.” You groan. You pull the knife from her stomach, ramming it in again in a new spot as her body begins to collapse.

You pull the knife out, your hand covered in blood as you drop the knife, watching Yujin slowly dying on the floor. She tries to speak but blood pours from her mouth.

“That was so fucking hot.” Felix groans, pulling you towards him. He plants his lips onto yours, thrusting his tongue into your mouth. Your bloody hand moves down to his crotch, feeling his already hard cock, growing even more.

“Fuck me.” You murmur.

Felix guides you to the couch, pushing you down onto the floor, your stomach laying on the couch. He flips up your skirt before quickly unbuttoning his pants, pulling out his cock. Felix rips your tights open in the back, kicking your knees apart to spread yourself more. He spits into his hand, gliding it up your cunt, shoving two fingers inside of you, making you cry out. Felix pumps his fingers a few times before he pulls them out, lubing up his cock with your juices. He quickly and harshly thrusts himself inside of you, grabbing your neck and squeezing. He pulls you up against him, his hot breath hitting your ear as he rams his cock inside of you.

“Did it feel good?” He groans. “Shoving that knife into her?” He gasps as you clench your cunt around him.

“So fucking good.” You cry out, reaching down between your lips to rub your clit.

“You looked so fucking sexy doing it.” Felix grunts, ramming his cock into you.

His hand tightens around your neck, squeezing harder, making you gasp for breath.

“I fucking love you so much.” He groans, fucking you harder. “Cum, baby. Cum.” He grunts. You move your fingers faster on your clit, your orgasm coming quickly.

He releases your throat, making you cough. “Fuck. I… love… you.” You scream, cumming hard onto his cock.

Felix grips your hips, thrusting into you harder and faster, cumming right after you, filling you all the way up.

He pulls out of you, tucking himself away before he helps you up, grabbing the knife from on the floor and bringing it to the kitchen. He slips it inside the backpack he stored in the closet, setting it by the door.

“Get ready to cry, baby.” Felix grins, grabbing his phone. You make your way to Yujin's body, sprawled out on the floor, forcing your tears to come.

“Help! Please help! Our friends were murdered!” Felix cries into the phone. “We're at 44776 Roadway Lane. Hurry!” He cries, hanging up the phone.

“Ready to put on the performance of a lifetime, baby?” He grins.

“With you, I'm ready for anything.” You smile, leaning over Yujin's body, forcing the tears from your eyes to fall as the sirens get louder and closer.

“Police!” They yell from outside the door.

“In here! Please.” You scream. The police rush in, seeing your distraught face hovering over your friend as Felix cries in the corner of the room.

“What happened?” One of the officers asks, pulling you away from the body.

“W-we… were having a Halloween party.” You sob. “The five of us… we were going to drink a little before it started later. Someone broke in… started stabbing them… we hid in the closet until we heard the person leave.” You cry.

“Do you have a description of the person?” The officer asks.

“No. We didn't see the person. The person was wearing a mask. And then we hid.” Felix cries.

“I'm so sorry.” The officer sighs. “Let's get you two checked out.”

Felix stands up, holding his hand out for you. You grab his hand, whimpering into his arm as the officer guides you out of the house. Felix grabs his backpack, and you both walk down the walk away, hand in hand, leaving the crime you committed behind you.

[kaysungshine]

݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .☽ fae trap ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖

{ Pairing } - Elf!Felix x Witch.afab!Reader

{ Genre } - Smut, Dark, Fantasy

{ Synopsis } - It is said, that if you ever find yourself inside of a fairy ring. The fae will punish you, by making you dance until you are passing out from exhaustion. But when you find yourself doing a different kind of 'dance' on the ground, in the middle of one, with the most beautiful creature you've ever seen you might add, you wonder; is this truly a punishment?

{ WC } - 7.7k

{ Warnings & Tags } - 18+ MDNI, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, dubcon, aphrodisiac effects, oral (f&m receiving), unprotected sex (piv; do as I say, not as I write & pee after sex!), rough/hard sex, overstimulation, big dick felix, dacryphilia, talk of breeding & mating, talking of mating rituals, please don't touch fly agaric mushrooms, srsly they're toxic and deadly, possible incorrect french usage.

{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated or depicting the actual life of the members of SKZ. It is a fictional piece of work, and I do not own Stray Kids. All works of fiction are loosely inspired by SKZ, and in no way am I saying it is true to their character.

{ A/N } - For the love of all things skz. DO NOT EVER TOUCH FLY AGARIC/AMANITA MUSCARIA MUSHROOMS. THEY ARE TOXIC. DEADLY. This is also probably the darkest thing I've written on this account so far. But it doesn't feel inherently evil to me personally??? But it is enough to warrant a TW! This started off as a birthday oneshot for Felix. I'm starting to think I'm no good at oneshots. This could be left alone, but it could also be a series... I have so many world building thoughts, but idk if I wanna do that. What do you think?

Dusk was approaching as you made your way home from your walk. 

You were blessed to own a cute little home, right on the edge of a beautiful and mysterious forest. Every day you were able to take nature walks, wandering through the treeline, exploring the vegetation. Collecting materials, making sure never to take too much of what the woodland had to offer. And caring for as much as you could, though you knew you were not essential to the survival of wilderness itself. 

That didn't stop you from befriending the little critters who made their home there, or from essentially finding your own second home there. 

You never brought anything with you to permanently invade nature. Instead you wrapped your daily essentials in a little bindle. It usually contained a hearty snack, a book or two, endless vials and jars, your cell, and a small emergency kit. Homemade salves, balms, and tonics included. 

You always had some new shiny objects for your crow friends, making sure to exchange the gifts they left for you at your designated spot. And you always made sure to leave some nuts and seeds for the various rodents who liked to stuff their cheeks. Again, you didn't need to, but they really liked sweet black walnuts and salty peanuts in the shells. Who were you to deny them that treat! 

Some days you brought select crystals with you, cleaning and recharging them in the streams of spring water. Other days you'd use that same water, sealing it in jars and leaving it nearby to make moon water overnight. Those were about the only two things you ever left in the forest, always making sure to come back the next day and retrieve them. 

You always carry a little basket with you too. The forest was abundant in ingredients for many different things. Your favorite is mushrooms and fungi. 

There were many times you'd find a log of an oak tree, fallen over and resting on the ground. A bunch of chicken of the woods growing on it. You'd collect them, taking them home to cook for dinner or other meals.

Other days you'd find lion's mane, and make sure to gather some for your favorite tincture to make and take. It did wonders for your anxiety. 

You were a green witch through and through, and you were raised this way. You drew your energy and essence from nature, always taking little bits of it home. 

Today was no different. Forgoing mushrooms, you instead had bundles of mugwort and a jar full of mulberries in your wicker basket. Wrapped in a little cloth were a bunch of spicebush berries.

You were nearing the last clearing within the woods, your house was about a ten minute walk away at this point. 

The soft moss against your bare feet was grounding, and you were listening to the buzz and crackle of nightlife within the forest. Your white skirt ended at your knees, flaring out. The chiffon is blowing in the cool breeze. It was still tshirt weather, and that's exactly what you wore on top. A fitted one, pale and muted ivy green. You gave up on bras long ago, you were a solitary creature anyways. The friends who did visit never cared about your attire.

You were in your own world, playing a balancing game on a stump and humming to yourself, when flashes of red caught your eye. 

In the clearing, scattered in a broken circle, was fly agaric. 

Your heart fluttered at this rare find. You walk past this clearing daily, and never noticed any of the red mushrooms with white speckles there before. 

Eagerly, you approach. In the back of your mind, warning bells are going off. Thinking back to childhood, of the stories your mom once told you of the fae folk. You'd encountered fairy rings before, but never of this type of mushroom, and never broken ones. Certainly never one so big. You never breached the little white rings in the past, not wanting to mess with entities so possibly mischievous. 

But it would be fine right? This might not even be considered a fairy ring. It was sort of... circle-ish? But not really. There were so many gaps in between them, it wasn't a perfect circle like you'd seen in the past. And these mushrooms were so rare and so powerful, in so many ways. You could feel their energy radiating around you.

You glanced around, searching for any signs of immortal creatures lurking near. You saw and heard nothing, but that would be typical. They never willingly reveal themselves, in fact... You've never seen one. You've never seen any kind of fae folk. It's not that you didn't believe in them, you were sure some form of them existed. Afterall, you practice a form of magick. Your own form, and that exists. 

You were convinced all mythical creatures either exist or had existed, the idea of them couldn't come from nothing. Not when they were in so many stories across all different cultures. 

You paused for a few more moments, really trying to feel any negative energy. There was none, there was never any in your little forest. 

So, tentatively, you took a few steps forward. Then you paused again, waiting for something to pop out. 

Nothing.

You giggled to yourself happily, and then bent down to pluck the mushrooms from the marshy earth. 

They all varied in size, some were large with bulbous caps. Some were shorter, and had flatter caps. Each mushroom, you made sure to pick with a cloth barrier between them and your fingers. These could be deadly if used the wrong way or taken in excess. You had no idea what would happen if you came into direct contact with it, on your bare skin. 

You really should start carrying gloves with you.

You made your way around the broken circle, humming in between giggles, and unconsciously dancing. You were nearly prancing each bare step to the next. 

If you had paid more attention to your mothers tales, you'd realize the consequences of stepping inside a fairy ring were already taking effect.

You were collecting more than you needed now, your basket was overflowing. But still, you didn't want to stop. You felt strangely overcome with merriment. You never felt more at home in these woods than this moment. 

You mindlessly set your basket down, your humming growing in volume. You looked to the sky, as you allowed your body to sway back and forth. Arms stretched out towards the waning moon, coming to life in the dark sky surrounding you. 

Your eyes closed, soaking in the moonlight. And you brought your arms back down, letting them float at your sides as you twirled, and twirled. Your skirt flutters up to reveal your thighs even more, hair whipping in your face. You revelled in the feeling of the squishy dirt beneath your feet. You felt grounded, but as if you were flying all at the same time.

You don't know when your solitude was breached, or if you were ever truly alone in the first place, but you finally noticed his presence when his hands intertwined with yours. 

He was twirling with you, spinning you in circles. 

He was nearly glowing, strawberry colored lips revealing the sweetest smile you'd ever seen. His long, straight white hair framed his face stunningly, tendrils of it outlining his strong jaw line. And his face... so, perfect. He had hundreds of freckles splashed across his cheeks, nose and eyes. Even some scattering up to his hairline, and down to his chin. You'd imagine you could create many constellations with them, like the stars that twinkle in the night sky. He adorned various jewelry, all silver. In his ears, and a cuff across the bridge of his nose. He even wore a gorgeous crown that laid across his forehead as a head piece. It was thin, and wiry, made up of gorgeous silver filigree that shone in the moonlight. You knew that the rings you felt in between your fingers would be silver too. 

He wore all white. You couldn't be sure exactly what his outfit was, but his shirt was a flowing lace up top. Revealing delicate collar bones and toned chest. It was mostly a blur in the midst of his movements. 

Your gasp was delayed, only coming out when he pulled you closer to him. Your hand remains in his, while his arm is wrapped around your waist. You were nearly flush with him, feeling the rest of his chiseled torso against your plush body. But he kept your face at some distance to maintain eye contact. The smile never slipped from his lips. 

He has you captivated, and the two of you don't falter in your melodic movements once. His eyes bore into you, dark and sharp. Yet he exuded a certain softness, and you found yourself lost in the moment. It didn't seem real. 

But it was. 

You were seeing him. In all his glory, ever mysterious and breathtaking. The most handsome man you've ever laid eyes on. 

You were hearing him. He was humming the same tune you were, an old lullaby your mom used to sing to you. His voice was deep, and even, harmonizing with your breathy high pitched voice beautifully. 

You were feeling him. He was touching you, his hand interlocked with yours. His grip around your waist is gentle but possessive. He held you like he didn't want to break you, but knew if he was too loose, you'd go running. 

Though you weren't so sure you would run. 

Your mind was racing. There's no way you could stumble across a perfect stranger, who was immediately dancing with you, so close to the edge of the forest. So close to your house. Maybe this was some sort of hallucination. A side effect of being surrounded by so many toxic mushrooms. 

The mushrooms. 

That was it, it all clicked. Too late did the rest of your mother's words ring in your ears. 

His aura, his energy, his perfect pixie-like features. You noticed the point of his ears now, the glittery sheen to his skin. His smile is full of white pointed teeth, dull now, but you could tell they were once sharper in the past. His slight cat-like eyes, giving them that sharp look even though everything else about him screamed delicate.

Your humming stopped, but his didn't. Your mother's voice is filling your head, and you were repeating the words she once told you so long ago. 

'and if you're caught, the fae folk will punish you. You'll be dancing within the ring until you faint from exhaustion.' you whispered quietly. 

His smile only grew, a glint lighting up his eyes. 

He finally spoke, his chest vibrating against yours, "Wise words, from a magnificent young lady."

He had an accent, you couldn't quite place it. Something between old english and australian. It made you want to melt. 

He started laughing, and you were sure that if he didn't have a grip on you, you would've slid to the ground. 

You've both stopped twirling, but he's still moving you, moving with you. Swaying back and forth. 

"Who are you?" You ask curiously. 

"Who?" He chuckles, "Usually it's 'what are you', that people ask me. Though it's been almost a century since I have revealed myself to a mortal."

A century? Your mouth dries, and you feel something akin to fear course through your veins. But you aren't scared of him for some reason. Wary, suspicious, but not scared. 

"You're different though, you seem to have at least a diminutive amount of knowledge of my realm." 

You want to get angry at that comment. You'd like to consider yourself well informed and educated on all supernatural and magickal subjects. There'd always be more to learn though, and the human brain simply could not grasp it in its entirety. So he wasn't wrong. 

You're still saying nothing, dazed from his presence. So he continues. 

"You were right when you said fae folk." He assures. 

"You're a fairy?" You whisper, wonder dazzling in your voice.

At that he laughs again, and you swear you hear small chimes behind it.

"An elf. I believe that is the universal name humans gave us. Not all fae are fairies, there are others too." 

As he speaks, he lets go of your hand, bringing his fingers up to brush strands of hair from your face. His touch is warm, for some reason that shocks you. 

"Elf." You repeat, not a question, but a statement.

He hums, in agreement and starts to twirl you around again. His hand resting on your cheek, thumb brushing featherlight touches against it. 

You're trying very hard to wrap your head around the entire scenario. You shouldn't be surprised. You've dealt with other worldly things in the past. Spiritual realms are completely different from anything having to do with the fae world though. 

Worry floods through you again once you realize what's happening. 

"Am I being punished?" You lip quivers as you speak, "I-I was just trying to collec-"

He's bringing his head down, his forehead meeting yours. You feel the cold bite of the silver headpiece touching your skin. It's enough to shut you up.

"Shhh, darling. Don't view it as a punishment." 

"I don't want to dance until I pass out." You slowly say, even though your body feels otherwise.

Underneath the initial shock and caution, you still felt that overwhelming happiness. It was borderline euphoric... and strangely arousing. 

Everything happening inside your mind and body right now was so confusing. You were feeling lost, and found yourself clinging to the man--the elf, before you. 

"You pretty creature, don't worry. Danser dans le ronds de sorcières... that's for children." 

French? This being was a riddle. 

"I don't understand." You force out. 

He leans back a bit, so he can look into your eyes and your thighs clench, "We tell the kids, fae and human, that if a mortal is caught within our rings. They dance to exhaustion. The humans carried this myth with them into adulthood, while our kind later learned the truth of these special rings." 

He's still dancing with you, moving your body elegantly to a now imaginary song. Leading you in something reminiscent of a waltz, but you can barely focus on that when his touches are electric against your skin. 

"The truth?" You ask. 

He's dipping you down now, bending with your body as he once again is peering into your eyes. At first you think it's part of the dance. Until your back meets the land that was underneath your feet. The mixture of smells was potent. The scent of damp moss, and semi-sweet foliage filling your nose. 

He hums again, "It was never an entire lie, it always started off with dancing." 

The timbre of his voice was pooling wetness in your panties. You felt beads of sweat forming on your brow, and you were bewildered at how your body was reacting right now. It didn't make sense. 

His body is hovering over you now, his face coming close to yours. His nose is brushing along yours before he speaks again. 

"What better way to set the mood than a passionate dance, and in this case, under the moonlight?"

You whimpered, feeling disoriented and needing his touch. 

"I don't even know your name.", was the only thing you managed to mumble. 

He chuckled, and you felt his breath puff against your lips, "It's unimportant darling, but since you're so... alluring. You can call me Felix... I'd love to hear it rolling off your tongue when I make you cum."

You were mewling at the thought of fucking this mystical being, when you felt his lips against yours.

He was almost lazy in the way he kissed you. Seemingly in no rush at all. And it's not that you were complaining, but you wanted more. So you wrapped your arms around his neck, forcing his body flush with yours. 

He was smiling against your lips now, and you took the opportunity to swipe your tongue across his bottom lip, begging for access. 

"So eager. Patience little dove. You'll get what you desire and more." 

You knew it was absurd to lust after a man--an elf, gods how could you keep forgetting that, that you just met. But your body was burning and it felt like he was your only rescue. 

His hands wandered your body, groping and massaging every inch. 

He had your leg wrapped around him, his hand trailing down the back of your thigh and his lips attached to your neck. He was marking you with what you imagined to be the most beautiful bruises. You were panting at this point, and it felt ridiculous to be this turned on by so little. By a stranger. But it didn't make you want to stop.

His fingers reached the edge of your panties, and you gasped. You felt his smile again, he was enjoying every bit of this. You felt powerless to his strokes against you. Your hips were bucking up, chasing for friction.

His hand gripped your hip tightly, fingers squeezing into your flesh, pinning you further into the dirt. 

You hissed before whining, begging "Please."

"I said be patient." His voice was stern as he spoke against your ear.

It still didn't stop you from squirming beneath him, your mind wasn't registering anything beyond wanting to feel him filling you up. 

He brought his face back to yours, eyes gleaming and the most naughty expression written across it. 

"Fine. As you wish, little dove. But don't forget, I was trying to ease you into this." 

He tore your panties off of you, and his fingers were rubbing against you harshly, sending jolts of pleasure through you. 

"A-aaah!" You were moaning loudly, his movements jarring.

"This is what you wanted darling, isn't it?" He's muttering against your lips now, slipping his fingers into you. 

Your body feels more alive than ever, waves of pleasure washing over you. His fingers skillfully curl inside you, while his thumb works your sensitive bud. Swipe after swipe, eliciting more and more of your arousal onto his hand. 

His kiss is searing, and feels like the only thing currently keeping you anchored to your body. You felt your orgasm building quickly, the band growing tighter and tighter in your stomach. It felt like you'd float away when it snapped. 

You can't contain the lewd noises you're making. Between the moans he's swallowing from your lips, and the loud squelching from between your thighs, it was deafening. Or maybe it was just that your ears were ringing. 

It felt like only seconds later when he brought you over the edge, his movements slowing but never stopping. You're whining, and your legs are trembling but you don't want him to stop. You're nearing over sensitivity and when you close your eyes, you see nothing but stars.

All you can think of are the freckled constellations on his cheek. 

You feel drunk on this moment, and you don't want it to end. It's as if he knows exactly where your mind is when he speaks again.

"You're not done little dove, don't you worry your pretty little head." 

When you open your eyes, and tilt your head up, his shirt and pants are discarded. Revealing a dizzying body. He was lithe yet chiseled. His body is almost dainty, but each muscle is carved in the most irresistible way. His abs were glorious, your eyes trail lower, following the v cut. You notice the faint spattering of a happy trail, and your eyes follow it. 

And fuck.

You've never been one to view someones cock as pretty but... his was. The tip was so swollen and pink, and leaking generous amounts of precum. Faint blue veins prominent along the shaft, and he stood tall and proud. His girth made you wonder if you could handle the stretch. It had been a while since you'd last been intimate. 

He brought his hand, covered in your slick, to his member. Spreading it all over in a mixture with his precum, making it glisten. Your mouth started to water, and your legs spread wider for him. You pulled your skirt completely up, presenting yourself to him. 

His jaw was slack, mouth hung open as he watched you, fist pumping himself slowly. 

"Such a good girl for me darling, aren't you?" He said with that charming smile. 

There was something about the way he looked at you, while doing such a perverse act that had your juices dripping down you. 

Then he was on top of you again, cock sliding into you. Your entire body tensed at the intrusion and you wailed, a mix of pain and pleasure. But it was so satisfying, you couldn't get enough. Your arms wrapped around his neck again, and he was thrusting into you at a brutal pace. 

Your back was digging into the ground, and you started to feel bits of grass and dirt against your skin. You pulled against him, trying to adjust yourself so you could lose yourself in the dance you two were now performing. 

He pulled out of you, and sat back on his knees, that's when you noticed his clothes underneath him. You had no idea he was wearing a cape earlier. It was sprawled out, creating a barrier between him and the ground. 

He picked you up, and positioned you to straddle his lap, facing him. Then he slid back into you, your eyes rolled back, and you let out a filthy moan. 

This position felt more intimate but still desperate, he was reaching deeper into you. The head of his cock pistoning against your g-spot. It felt so good you could cry. 

You were crying, you realized. 

"Shhh, little dove, you're taking it so well. It feels so good, doesn't it?" 

"Yes!" You sob. 

He's wiping the tears from your eyes with his fingers, and smiling at you like you're the most precious thing on this planet. 

"That's right, pretty. So pretty when you cry." He groans out, and his pace grows faster, rougher.

His hand dips down between you, and he's toying with your clit now. In any other circumstance, you'd be embarrassed by the way your body uncontrollably trembles. Your muscles are spasming at his touch. You just couldn't bring yourself to care, he was making you feel too good. 

"Darling," He purred, as he slowed his thrusts and pinched your clit between two fingers, rolling it, "I want you to look me in the eyes when you cum for me, can you do that?" 

You were mewling as you nodded your head frantically, feeling your peak rush towards you. 

At that he started fucking into you harshly, almost painfully, and you were coming undone with a loud cry on top of him. Your body tensed, nails digging into his shoulders, struggling not to throw your head back. His hand that was playing with you, gripped your jaw, smearing your own arousal on your face.

He was making sure you kept your word, maintaining your gaze on his while you clenched around him. Your eyes were fluttering as you tried to keep them open. He was biting his lip, eyebrows scrunched together as he fucked you through your orgasm. Watching your face contorted in pleasure. 

"So tight." He grunted.

You were scratching at him now, nails dragging down his shoulders. And your mouth was hung open in a silent scream, your voice having given up on you. 

It was becoming overwhelming. 

You still didn't want it to stop.

"I know you can take it darling, take it." He growled, gripping both your hips now to steady you.

So you did, until you were limp in his arms, and he was releasing into you with a groan. 

Your head was resting on his shoulder. Sweaty skin sticking to each other, and he was soothing you. Humming and stroking your hair gently. You were breathing heavily, trying to come down from this mind blowing experience. But you weren't descending, not mentally. You were still riding that high, stuck in a lust filled haze. 

He started to roll his hips tantalizingly slow, and you hissed at it, feeling slight pain. Mostly you were shocked he was still hard. 

His chest vibrated while he quietly laughed, "Did you forget the 'more' part, darling. I keep telling you, we're not done yet." 

You whined at the sensation of his gentle movements. 

"Shhh, there there." He's teasing you, "Are we a little sore?"

"Yes." You breathed.

"I can fix that." 

You gasped when he slid out of you, hating the fact that you felt so empty. 

He was positioning you to lay down on his clothes, taking care that no part of you touched the ground. You just let him handle you, molding your pliant body however he wanted it.

His hands were rubbing down your arms, and he was smiling down at you. When you met his eyes, you couldn't explain the exact emotions you were feeling. You'd let this man take your soul if he asked right now. 

He was licking his lips as his hand trailed back to your core. You gasped again, then whined when he dragged his fingers through your swollen folds. His touch was almost massaging, yet sensual. He was touching everywhere, teasingly avoiding your sensitive bud. 

The more he touched you, the more you writhed. And sensing another comment about how you can't be still or patient, you yanked him down to you so you could kiss him. 

You were tired of just laying there, you wanted to start giving. To start touching.

You didn't know where all this stamina came from, but you were determined to use it. You jerked your hips up, leaning more into his touch. 

It wasn't until you reached down to wrap your fingers around his length that he paused his movements. 

He was still slick with your cum. And you used that to give him slow strokes.

He let out a hoarse moan against your lips, before pressing his fingers directly on your clit, rubbing in small circles. He was matching your tempo directly. You whined into the kiss, your hand picking up pace. Pumping him faster now, and he followed your lead. 

Or so you thought, just as you felt your climax starting to build, his fingers were being pulled away. 

He took your hand off him, and then crawled down your body, coming face to face with your core. 

"So pretty, even here darling." 

You were blushing at his words, but you couldn't take your eyes off of his, as he stared at you from between your thighs. 

"Still sore? Let me make it feel better, little dove." 

And you felt his tongue lave through your folds. It was gentle and it felt hot, and it drove you crazy. The flicks of his tongue against your clit were maddening, and you wanted more. 

Your hips started slowly moving against his face, and this time he let you. He lets you roll your hips, and grind against his face. His tongue flattened against you, and you slid your hand into his blindingly white locks. You started grinding against him harshly, losing all sense and control of your body and just focusing on climaxing. 

He let himself be used by you, and as your grip in his hair tightened, so did that feeling in your stomach. You felt another orgasm come over you, and he let you ride it out, quite literally.  

You expected to start feeling spent by now, but you didn't. So before he could climb back up your body to kiss you, you were sitting up and pushing him onto his back.

He landed on it with a thud, puffing out air and looking at you incredulously. 

You let the primal urges take over as you lowered yourself onto your stomach, and took his member in your hand. You licked up the underside of his cock, your eyes never leaving his. He groaned as you watched his eyes roll into the back of his head. 

You placed a soft kiss on the tip, and licked the strings of precum off your lips. 

"Fuck..." He whispered.

"Let me return the favor." You mumbled before you took his tip between your lips.

You let your tongue swirl over it a few times, savoring his taste. He brought his hand down to your face, and pushed your hair back for you. 

You let your tongue run down the underside of his cock, and you sunk your mouth onto him. You had completely engulfed him, and were struggling not to gag. Still, you never intended to stop. 

He was grunting as your head bobbed up and down on him, saliva collecting at the corners of your mouth and dripping down to pool at his pelvis. 

"Making--ah fuck--such a mess for me, darling." He groaned. 

He lets you keep at your own pace for a while longer before he starts thrusting into you. He kept your head in place, and you gagged and tears started running down your cheeks. Each stroke became more and more erratic, until ropes of his hot cum were shooting down your throat. 

He pulled you off of him and you gulped down breaths of air. He was caressing your cheek, swiping a mix of tears, spit and cum from your lips before kissing you. 

That's how you both continued throughout the night. Pleasuring each other, nearly non-stop, under the moonlight. Your mind was fractured, nothing else but him existed inside of it. He'd touched, fondled, massaged, and embraced you, until you could only respond with breathy whispers of his name. 

"Felix..." You sighed, when he was bringing feeling back to your numb legs by massaging them.

"Felix..." You moaned, as he slowly took you as you both laid on your sides.

"Felix..." You screamed as you came undone on top of him, riding him roughly.

He took you in many different positions, and you indulge yourself in each one. When he wasn't fucking you, you were whining in complaint and going down on him. If he wasn't going down on you, he was edging you with his fingers. Your hands never left each other's bodies, always needing connection. You were sure he was just as familiar with your body as you were by this point. 

The exhaustion finally hit when he had you on your back in a mating press. The last thing you remember, is staring up into the twilight sky. Dawn was approaching, the stars were disappearing before your eyes, as the golden glow of the sun started to peek through. 

Your eyes were fluttering as you fought unconsciousness, determined to finish fucking this completely ethereal creature. Felix was barely putting in an effort to fuck you, but he still slid in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace, as if he wanted to keep your orgasm at bay. You both wanted to extend this moment in time, but your body wouldn't have that.

When you finally let go, cumming on his cock for what felt like the hundredth time. That's when your eyes shut and you gave into the exhaustion. 

The familiar scent of nag champa incense filled your nostrils as you started to come to. 

Your bedroom, permanently infused with your favorite scent to burn, that's where you were. The familiar feel of your sheets beneath you, and your heavy comforter confirmed that.  

Your mind still felt a little cloudy as you started to recall how you got to your bed from the forest. 

That's when you feel a body next to you and your eyes shot open.

"Felix?" You croaked, your voice dry and hoarse.

He was laying next to you on his side, in your bed, in your house. 

He had the blankets pulled up to his waist, and was resting his head on his hand. Elbow propped up, so he could see you better. He was shirtless and he wore that same smile on his face, like he was so fond of you.

"Is that still the only thing you can say, little dove?" He whispered teasingly. 

"How- I mean, why-?" You stutter as you attempt to sit up in bed, but your entire body aches. 

You hiss at the burning sensation you felt between your legs. And your legs, gods, you don't think that they've ever felt so sore. 

"Easy darling, you need to rest." He said as he helped you sit up. 

He reached over to his side of the bed and handed you a glass of water, motioning for you to drink. 

You eyed him curiously as you sipped your water, finishing it rather quickly when you realized how thirsty you were. 

"I ran you a bath and kept it hot, when you're ready we should wash you up more." 

"More?" You questioned him.

"I did clean you up last night, I'm not a monster. The bath will help ease your muscles." He chuckled.

"How did you even know where I live?" 

"It's not hard to figure out, we weren't that far from it. Your house is the only one for miles." 

You still felt guarded around him, even after the night you shared. If the stories your mother told you turned out to be partially true, you could only imagine what other lore could turn out to be true. 

Now this mischievous creature knew where you lived, he was in your home.

"I know this is your sacred space little dove, I don't intend to intrude. However, I couldn't exactly leave you in the state you were in. How are you feeling? Is your head a little clearer?" He spoke softly as he brushed his fingers through your hair. 

It is. Almost all of that dazed feeling was gone, you felt more lucid. In that clarity though, a rush of embarrassment hit you. You felt your skin heat up at the more clear memories of last night. 

You were never the type for hookups or one night stands, yet the things you did with this perfect stranger... This perfect magickal stranger... they felt unspeakable. You'd never lost yourself so completely in someone else's presence, much less with your own... sessions. 

You hide your face in your hands and rub at your temples, trying to make sense of this entire situation. Of your own feelings. You didn't exactly regret it or hate it. Something still felt off. Not only was the entire act abnormal in general, and downright questionable. But it was so out of character for you. Did he use... compulsions? Did he have that type of magick?

"Thinking too hard will just exhaust you more." He said.

"Look..." You sigh, as you turn to face him, "I'm a little lost here, I don't know what to make of this all." 

Next thing you know, he's off the bed. He's picking you up in his arms, and you notice you're both still nude. Your face flushes again at that, and you struggle a bit in his arms.

"Be calm darling, I'm just taking you to the tub. We can talk about it all." 

You let him place you in the tub, and then he's sliding in behind you. Slotting you between his legs. He's pulling you back towards him, so you lay against his chest. You both sit like that for a few moments, absorbing the heat from the bath and getting used to each other in a new type of intimate way.

You should be kicking him out of your house. You should be cussing him out. Defending yourself, but why didn't you feel the need to defend yourself against him? Why were you drawn to him? 

When you think about the facts, some would say you were attacked last night. I mean there's a reason the Fae call it a punishment You didn't feel attacked though. You enjoyed yourself, as crazy as that is to say. 

You always knew you were an adventurous soul, but you never thought to this extent. 

How do you come to terms with actually feeling okay with this whole thing, when you knew you shouldn't be?

"You're a witch, right?" He suddenly asks you, breaking your train of thought. 

"I am... though I'm beginning to question the validity of that title, seeing as I have an actual magical creature behind me." You mumble. 

You knew the magick you practiced was real. You could feel it. It's not like you could create fire though, or move things, or transfigure things in front of you. You weren't even sure Felix could do any of that as an elf. You weren't sure of anything anymore. 

You felt like you were entering an existential crisis. Panic was starting to settle within you when you felt his chest vibrate with laughter, it was an oddly soothing sensation that you know you've felt before.

"No, you are. I can sense it, it's in your blood. It took me a while to piece it together, but you are a witch through and through. Sometimes humans don't know of their tie to the magickal world, but I figured... from your altar, among other objects and ingredients I've noticed here, that you knew." 

You hummed, your mother always told you that you were a part of a long line of witches. She raised you heavily within her practice. You never doubted her, but somehow this new revelation made it so much more real. You realize this was opening a whole new aspect in your own practice. A hidden world, seemingly waiting for your return.

"Is that why you came to me? Because you sensed a witch was near?" You questioned him, your hands playing with the water. 

"No, you stepped inside my fairy ring. I have to say I was shocked. I placed it in, what I thought was, an inconspicuous area. I hadn't realized your home was nearby."

"Okay, I'm going to need you to explain." You sighed. 

"Well... you already know what I told you yesterday. The stories you were told, were passed down by your ancestors and other mortals in general. You don't really just dance in fairy rings, that's a small fib we tell the children. As more human children found the rings, when we'd find them dancing. We'd send them off, warning them if they came in again that we would have them dancing until they faint. When our own children wandered into them curiously, we'd tell them the same thing until it became time for them to learn. It's just something stupid the ancestors came up with, I don't know... It does always start out with a courting dance though, but the main reason for them is, inside a fairy ring... you mate. They're essentially a part of an ancient mating ritual."

At that you nearly jumped up to smack him, but he was a step ahead of you. His arms tightened around your body, pinning your arms to your chest. 

"MATING?!" You screamed at him, trying to turn your head and make eye contact, "I don't fucking wan-" 

"Please, calm down little dove. It's not possible for me to actually breed you. That requires an entirely different ritual, one that hasn't been performed in centuries. I'm not even sure anyone would know how to perform it these days..." He trails off. 

"So then why even lay these stupid Fae traps for humans anyways?!" You screech. 

"They're not traps, and they're not meant for humans." He says defensively, and you can hear the pouting in his tone, "Think of it like this. You know how some penguins build big and pretty nests to attract a mate? It's kind of like that. It's a lot to explain in detail, and I had to create one. Now that I'm of age, it's expected of me to find a partner. Even if I don't find the need to." 

"And why do they exist in this realm if they're not meant for us?"

"Well, a long time ago, back when there was only this realm, and there were more Fae than humans, they came across one. That fairy was so angry at the human for intruding on something so intimate of his, and he threatened the human with a punishment. Before any of the other Fae could stop him, he entered the ring. When they both were inside of it, they were overcome with the magic of the ring. The courting dance had started, and no one else was able to enter. The desire for each other grew. In his anger he must've forgotten what the ring's intention was, and was only focused on punishing the human. But he never got that far. They ended up... mating. They never separated from that night, spending their lives together. It was millenia ago. It created an uproar though. Our kinds had never joined before that way."

You sat and listened, calming down a bit as he told you this story.

"There were battles, not an outright war but there might as well have been. They grew to love each other, and they led the winnings of those battles to stay together. They opened the door for Fae and humans to be together, but it has always been frowned upon from both sides."

There was an entire history of this world that you had never known. One that you could never even imagine to be true. But it is. Before your mind let you delve into it though, you thought back to something he said.

"Overcome with magic? These rings hold compulsions over beings?" You questioned hastily, needing to confirm your suspicions. 

"No. It's not like that..." He sighed, "Didn't you feel different last night?" He continues, "The mushrooms release something like a pheromone. An aphrodisiac, to enhance your sexual stamina. Among other mood boosting and energy boosting properties. It starts by uplifting your mood, making you feel the happiest you've ever been. Then you start dancing, your energy building up in preparation for what's to come. It's not until your partner enters that the aphrodisiacs start releasing. But it doesn't just take away your consent like that. Both parties have to be willing... it needs to be mutual. Though that's not to say that's not how every instance turns out. Evil exists in all realms." 

You shivered at his words, trying to process everything. You could clearly remember the primal urges taking over, the need to constantly be filled. It explained that off feeling, why you were acting so out of character. But you couldn't deny that you had wanted it. 

Craved it. 

You never tried to stop it, never wanted to stop it... In fact you initiated it to an extent. 

He started talking again, "That's why I couldn't just leave you there. Especially not in that forest, where other creatures lurk and might find you. I never felt anything dark there, but that doesn't mean it won't come along. I brought you home. I cleaned you up, I made you drink because you were getting dehydrated. I cared for you."

He was loosening his grip around you to rub your shoulders. It made you think back to the skilled massages he gave you last night, in between all of the sex. He made sure to take care of you the whole night it seemed.

"But none of this answers my question from earlier, why not place the rings in your own realm now? Why would any of the Fae place them here?" You asked.

"There are many different reasons..." He mumbled, "Some of them do it because they want to experience sex with a willing human. Some of them do use them as traps for humans, and those Fae are disgraceful, downright evil. Most of those types have been banished from the realm I come from. But some are like me. We try to hide them, from everyone. Because even though we're required to have them, we don't want to use them."

Then you thought back to his previous words, "Wait... 'find your partner' you said? Are we- do we have some sort of bond now?"

The silence was thick in the air. You waited for him to speak, but he didn't, so you turned around in the tub to face him. Your legs spread out on top of his, as you half straddled his lap. 

His eyes stared into yours, expressionless. It was much colder than his usual warm aura, so you grabbed his hand to hold it, and asked again in a softer tone, "Do we?" 

"We don't have to. It's not permanent. Most Fae who get humans within their rings leave them there once they've passed out anyways. Humans don't have the same stamina as we do, even with their boosted energy from the ring. The first woman passed out, that's where the ancestors got their silly tale from." He spoke tightly, like he was debating even revealing this bond at all. 

"I see." You replied, even though you had many more questions and didn't have a full grasp on it all. 

Not much made sense. In a span of hours you found out the true existence of a hidden realm, and these magickal creatures. You met one, you slept with him, then you actually slept with him, and now you bathe with him. You talk with him, as if all of this is a normal day.

It should all unsettle you more than it actually does. You should be freaking out, 100% meltdown level. This is the story of fairy tales, and maybe not a good one. This could be the big bad wolf and you could be little red riding hood. But somehow, you were comfortable in his presence. Comfortable enough to want to spend more time with him. To learn more, about him, his world, and this new bond. 

So you leaned forward and wrapped your arms around his neck, giving his lips a small peck. 

"Maybe we could... figure it out together? See what happens next, if you explain more to me, that is." 

His eyes lit up with hope, and his charming smile returned to his face. The thought that you could wake up every day to that smile entered your head quicker than you could blink.

You'd figure something out. You had to. He couldn't leave your life now. Not when it seemed like it was just getting started thanks to him.

Taglist:

@eczlipse @sailor--sun @maisyyyyyy @jupire @prettiichocolateprincess

@meowmeowminnie @joyofbebbanburg @adieu-lisette @sleeping-beau-tay @staytinyluv

@lookitsjess @majorlymismanaged @kpopsstuffs @helloimacalumgirl @bbokarimenu

@bubblepop-stay @mauvemelon @ohhlittlegirl @ang4lheart @spnwinchestersd

@adieu-lisette @loud-minhoe @juwire @anylady-fics @antisocialties

@nebugalaxy @wowitsafemale @irrevocable-exposure

As always, please let me know if you'd like to join the taglist. And if you do, pretty please interact with my fics besides liking (ie; replying/commenting/reblogging). Although I will always appreciate liking as well! Feedback is always cherished! ♡

But again, please be gentle in your criticism! I am but a sensitive soul.

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Pack Book 2

~part of the SKZ mate series. See book 1 here ~

Summary: Now that Ateez has been destroyed Chan and his pack have become closer than ever. The wolves have gotten stronger and have gotten more powerful since they have bonded with their omega, but there is something darker still left to emerge. An old problem has started to resurface and will all the wolves make it out alive this time.

Warnings

This fanfiction may include distressing themes so please read with caution. MDNI All rights belong to the author. I own the created characters and plots to make this fanfiction. The themes DO NOT REPRESENT the real people. It is a dark romance themed fanfic!

⚠️ Omegaverse, A/B/O, Marking, Biting, Mating, Blood play, Mentions of Assault, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Torture, VERY SMUTTY, Misogyny, Anxiety, Depression, Angst, Fluff, M/M/F, Possessive SKZ, Cursing, Pet Names, Humiliation, Kinks, Gaslighting, Sexism, Dom/Sub dynamics, Threesome, Foreplay, Begging, and more⚠️

💫🐺🌙

MASTERLIST:

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3 💦

Chapter 4 💦

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9 💦 ❗

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12 💦

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15 💦❗

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19💦

Chapter 20💦

Chapter 21💦

Chapter 22💦

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Epilogue

Bonus Chapter 1

Bonus Chapter 2 💦

Book 3 (it is a STANDALONE BOOK): here

Feeling Inspired by my fanfiction. Go ahead and write your own. Any ideas, concepts or themes used please credit me accordingly© If you are unsure message me, I definitely do not bite 💙 IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT STEALING MY WORK 🔪🩸 + 🔮🪄 = 🐺🩸🌙

SHOUT OUT TO THE READERS BELOW 👇🏻

@galaxy4489 @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @leezanetheofficial @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @itzreetal987 @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @ihttinniee @kingdomofpentagon @pixie0627 @tsunderelino @notevenheretbh1 @catlove83 @h0rnyp0t @hash2013 @hyunmikim

~ Tag list closed as Tumblr only allows a certain amount ~

[atzloverr]

My favorite fics/blogs!!!

(multifandom)

The answer by @berryunho

this might me by favorite ateez fic y’all… It’s literally so GOOOODDDDD I’m obsessed… (atz x reader, cult au)

@freyaphoria

this entire blog is everything !! (never stop posting girl your stories are amazing) lovely yandere atz x reader stories

@yankpop

A blog with lots of yan bts x reader and I’m here for it!

Abundance by @angelicyoongie

ot7 hybrid bts x reader, I’m literally obsessed with this story and I still hope that the author picks it up again 😭

Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea

(ao3) LOVE this ot8 ateez x reader fic!! The story is so good I’ve literally cried reading it…

Polarity

(ao3) yandere Jungkook x reader. I don’t need to say more. Read it.

The obsidian pearl by @angelicyoongie

yandere mermaid!Seokjin x reader, only a few chapters, but still amazing!!!

Complete

(wattpad) I don’t know how many times I’ve reread this story… It’s my comfort fic i think😭 a bts x reader soulmate au fic.

The four kingdoms

(wattpad) another AMAZING bts x reader story. This fic is the first part of the “blue eyes” series, and I’ve read all four parts like a million times… The following parts:

pyramids, dynasty, mist (mist isn’t finished)

Seven sins

(wattpad) seven deadly sins!bts x reader.

Blood ink

(wattpad) tattoo artist!Jungkook x reader, gang au

Circus by @lani-heart

A sweet (and angsty) fic about ot8 hybrid!ateez x reader!!! I highly recommend it! (ongoing)

@cheollipop

suuuuuch a good blog, has atz x reader and some svt x reader

@angelicyoongie

Amazing bts x reader stories!!! (two of them are mentioned in this post lol)

@xosannie

lovely nsfw ateez x reader, I’m so happy I found this blog likeeee, obsessed with their work dirty little secret (mingi x reader)

Guerilla by @sorryimananti-romantic

serial killer!Yunho x reader, literally obsessed with this and their entire blog!!!! And I’m Yunho biased so this hit the spot

@bro-atz

One of if not THE best atz nsfw x reader fics… Literal art, go follow right now!!!

Heavy and sticky by @k-hotchoisan

some filthy Seonghwa x reader smut!!!

When flowers bloom in the dark by @makeitmingi

Already so invested in this mafia au Hongjoong x reader story. It’s sooo good

Atz as boyfriends (nsfw ver) by @sorryimananti-romantic and @eightmakesonebraincell

explicit ateez ot8 headcannons (I’m obsessed)

The feral drabbles by @mint-yooxgi

Ateez (and skz but I haven’t read) x reader one-shots/drabbles!!! Includes darker themes (yandere), and omg this writing is so good!!!

@last-words-ofashootingstar

such good ateez x reader fics and drabbles!!! this blog has yandere content as well! Love their work allure

@gyupinkys

amazing svt x reader and atz x reader!!! I love their work like crazy (yandere Seonghwa x reader)

Our leaves must fall before our flowers can bloom by @eightmakesonebraincell

poly ot8 atz x reader and ice hockey au, I literally died when reading this the writing is insanely good

Mist of celeste

(ao3) craziest read in my life. Space pirates atz x reader and this is a literary masterpiece. Read. It.

@holybibly

THE ONE AND ONLY QUEEN (atz x reader)

Sentinent by @trivia-yandere

(Oneshot) Yandere android namjoon x reader, omg I am obsessed with this and the author’s other works!!

Bloodline

(ao3) INSANE READ. I literally pray to god that this ot8 atz x reader story continues!!!

Case: It’s You by @potatomountain

Ahhhh this poly!atz x reader story was so amazing!!!! The twist in this was absolutely crazy, and I can’t wait for book 2 to get released! This author ate the enemies to lovers au

Charade

(ao3) I just LOVE this ot8 atz x reader!!! This story is a zombie-apocalypse au!

I’ll update this post if I find new works that I enjoy!

my masterlist

[yaniluvs]

𝒾𝒾 ┆ ⋆.˚ ⚾️ 승민 : AS WE ARE “ 𝑏𝘰𝘰𝑘𝑠, 𝑝𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑒𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑠𝑒𝘵𝑠 𝑏𝑢𝘵 𝘵ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝘰𝑝𝑙𝑒. ” ── baseball guy bumps into you twice in the same day, first the library and then the pathway outside a convenience store, but maybe you get to know him better?

prev. | index | next ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎

𓍯 baseballcapt!seungmin ʚଓ fem!reader ：（ 𝒾 ）4.1k ── ༯ SERIES (?) uni au, slow paced & slow burn, curiosity, fluff, strangers to friends to ???, small town, slight angst, language, skz ensemble, very long, y/n is a foreigner/has mixed ethnicity. ⸝⸝𓂃 LiBRARY . /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ྀིྀི

yani's note ˖˙ ᰋ as we are mv, i love you. i want it tattooed in my head. my heart too. had fun writing this chapter, sorry for the delay!! here you go <3 also, i just crossed 300 followers? really? if you know, i did just pass 200 like two days ago. thank you so much. this really motivates me TT. comments, likes, req/asks and reblogs are always appreciated ! send in a reply or an ask if you want to be in my mastertag, or my individual series' taglists. happy reading <3

the library was quiet, the kind of quiet that felt like it was carved out of the world itself. sunlight streamed in through the large windows, casting soft patterns on the wooden floors. it wasn’t a large library—small, cozy, and tucked away at the edge of the town, mostly frequented by students and a few older residents who enjoyed its peaceful atmosphere.

seungmin pushed open the door, a soft chime ringing as he stepped inside. he didn’t particularly enjoy coming here—it wasn’t exactly his scene—but he had a book to return, one his friend had borrowed under his name. as usual, he wore his baseball cap low, the brim shading his face, as he approached the front desk.

a blonde was sitting behind the counter, his deep voice calm as he hummed a tune to himself while stamping books. seungmin placed the book on the counter, nodding slightly.

“returning this,”

felix looked up briefly, gave a small nod, and reached for the book without much thought. “got it.”

the guy turned away without another word, heading toward the shelves by the windows. it had been a while since he’d been here, and he didn’t remember much about the layout, but he found a stool near an aisle and sank down onto it. pulling a small notebook from his jacket pocket, he uncapped his pen and began writing.

he always wrote when things felt too noisy inside his head. the notebook held snippets of his thoughts, observations, and, lately, small moments he hadn’t been able to forget—like her.

behind the counter, felix finished sorting the returned books before glancing at the time. it was quiet enough that he decided to assign someone the task of checking on the lone customer.

“y/n,” he called, his voice low so as not to disturb the silence.

she turned from the bookshelf she was organizing, brushing her hands on her skirt. “yeah?”

“there’s someone by the windows. go check if they need anything,” felix said, gesturing lazily toward the back of the library. “seems like he’s settled in, but we’re supposed to, you know, do our job.”

the girl rolled her eyes with a small smile. “fine. anything else, your majesty?”

felix smirked. “just be your usual charming self.”

she shook her head, adjusting the loose cardigan over her blouse as she walked toward the windows. the aisle was bathed in golden light, and at first, she only saw the figure sitting on the stool, hunched slightly over something in his hands. it wasn’t until she got closer that she froze.

seungmin?

he didn’t notice her at first, too focused on whatever he was writing. his profile was sharper in the soft light, the cap hiding most of his messy brown hair. she hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to speak, but curiosity got the better of her.

“so you come to libraries now too?”

her voice was soft but laced with a playful edge, and seungmin startled slightly, his head snapping up. his dark eyes widened for a fraction of a second before narrowing in faint recognition.

“you,” he said flatly, closing his notebook as if on instinct. “what are you doing here?”

y/n tilted her head, her grin widening. “i work here.”

he blinked, clearly caught off guard. “work here?”

“yup,” she said, crossing her arms. “not that you’d know, considering you don’t seem to come here much.”

“i don’t,” he admitted, leaning back slightly on the stool. “this isn’t really my thing.”

“i can see.. then what brings you here today?”

“returning a book,” he said simply, tapping the closed notebook against his knee.

she raised an eyebrow, taking a step closer. “you don’t strike me as the type to rent books, either.”

“well, it wasn’t mine,” he clarified. “a friend borrowed it under my name.”

“ah,” she said, nodding. “makes sense. still, didn’t think i’d see you here.”

“same,” he replied, his tone neutral but his gaze steady on her. “i didn’t know you worked here.”

“well, it is a new job,” she said, shrugging lightly. “started about a week ago. felix and i both work part time, after uni.”

“felix?”

“the guy at the front desk,” she explained. “my best friend. he’s nice—well, mostly,” she added with a small laugh.

seungmin didn’t comment on that, his eyes flickering toward the front desk briefly before settling back on her.

“alright, mr. mysterious,” she said, tilting her head playfully, “if you’re not here to rent books or socialize, what’s the notebook for? don’t think i didn’t notice you scribbling something down.”

seungmin’s fingers tightened slightly around the notebook resting on his knee, and for a moment, it seemed like he wasn’t going to answer. finally, he shrugged, his voice low. “just… thoughts. random things.”

“random, huh?” she echoed, leaning forward just enough to tease without invading his space. “like what? are you secretly writing the next great novel?”

he huffed, the faintest hint of a smirk ghosting across his lips. “no.”

“then poetry?” she guessed, her eyes sparkling. “or are you jotting down world domination plans? oh, wait! is it—”

“it’s none of those,” he interrupted, his tone firm but not unkind.

“you’re no fun.”

“you talk too much,”

“i’ve been told that before,” she replied, unfazed. “but come on, i’m curious! what could possibly be so secretive that you can’t share with your friendly neighborhood library worker?”

he gave her a long, measured look, as if debating whether or not to humor her. “it’s just a journal,” he admitted finally, his voice barely above a murmur. “nothing special.”

her expression softened at that, and she straightened slightly. “a journal?”

“yeah,” he said, his eyes dropping to the notebook. “helps me think.”

“that’s actually… really cool,” she said, her voice sincere. “i’ve tried keeping journals before, but i always end up doodling in the margins or writing nonsense.”

seungmin glanced at her, his brow raising slightly. “why?”

“i guess i’m too impatient,” she said with a small laugh. “my thoughts move faster than my pen can keep up.”

he didn’t respond, but there was something in his gaze that made her feel like he understood.

they fell into a comfortable silence again, the soft rustling of pages and distant hum of felix’s humming at the front desk filling the space. y/n leaned back against the shelf, her arms crossed loosely, and studied him for a moment.

“you’re a quiet one, huh?” she said finally, her tone light.

“we're in a library.”

“oh my bad. no! but still, in the field-”

“is that a problem?”

“not at all,” she said quickly, smiling. “it’s just… different. most people i know are always trying to fill the silence, you know? but you’re just okay with it.”

seungmin shrugged, his gaze shifting to the window. “silence is easier.”

“easier than what?”

“than talking.”

she blinked at the honesty in his reply, her teasing smile softening into something more thoughtful. “i guess i can see that,” she said quietly. “but talking isn’t so bad, you know. especially when the person you’re talking to isn’t half bad.”

he looked at her then, his dark eyes steady and unreadable. “you think so?”

“obviously,” she said with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. “i mean, you’re tolerating me, and that’s saying something.”

seungmin’s lips twitched, the closest thing to a smile she’d seen from him. “you’re persistent, i’ll give you that.”

“thank you,” she said, pretending to curtsy dramatically. “i’ll take that as a compliment.”

they stayed like that for a while, the silence between them growing less like a void and more like a bridge. y/n found herself wondering what he was thinking, what stories were tucked away in that notebook of his.

“so,” she said eventually, her voice soft, “if you don’t come here often, where do you usually go?”

he hesitated, his fingers idly tapping the edge of the notebook. “the field. or home.”

“not much of an explorer, huh?”

“not really.”

“well,” she said, her tone brightening, “i'm no dora but if you ever feel like venturing out, i know a all the good spots. i mean, i do live here since i was three, and i do work here now, so you’ll know where to find me.”

seungmin looked at her, his gaze lingering for a moment before he nodded slightly. “okay, but don't take my word for it.”

“already ahead of 'ya!” she beamed.

“y/n!” she heard her friend's voice calling her, it immediately widening her eyes.

“well,” she said, pushing off the shelf and clasping her hands behind her back, quickly “excuse um.. felix.” she clears her throat awkwardly. “i should probably get back to work before felix yells at me, again.”

“you should.”

“i should..”

seungmin huffed softly, shaking his head.

“see you around, car girl,” he corrected quietly, almost to himself.

she froze, turning back to face him. “what did you just call me?”

he looked up, his expression unreadable but his tone steady. “car girl. suits you.”

y/n blinked, her cheeks warming slightly. “i—well—okay. i guess i’ll take it.”

“see you around, mysterious baseball guy,” she said, flashing him a playful grin as she started to walk away. “what? you get what you give.”

he raised an eyebrow. “mysterious baseball guy, really?”

she grinned. “well, you called me ‘car girl,’ didn’t you? it’s only fair.”

he shook his head, but there was the faintest hint of a smirk on his lips as he replied, “sure. see you, car girl.”

and for the first time, as she walked back to the front desk, she felt like something between them had shifted—softly, subtly, but undeniably.

she turned again, her heart fluttering inexplicably as she walked back to the front desk. felix raised an eyebrow as she returned, but she waved him off, not ready to explain the strange, quiet boy sitting by the window.

seungmin stayed where he was, his pen hovering over the open page of his notebook. slowly, deliberately, he wrote,

car girl.

the air outside the convenience store carried a faint chill, the kind that hinted at winter’s slow approach. y/n stepped out, balancing the plastic bag of groceries on her hip while holding her phone in her other hand. the sun had dipped below the horizon, leaving the sky a gradient of pale blue and deep indigo, and the streetlights had just started flickering on.

she didn’t notice it at first, not until she heard a faint whimper. a stray puppy. it was small, shivering by the edge of the pavement, its thin brown fur offering little protection against the cool evening air.

“oh, you poor baby,” she murmured, immediately setting down her bags and crouching to its level. the pup looked up at her with wary eyes, its ears pinned back, but it didn’t run.

“hey, it’s okay,” she said softly, reaching out a hand. “i won’t hurt you.”

the puppy sniffed cautiously before stepping closer, its small tail wagging hesitantly. she smiled, her heart melting as she stroked its head gently.

“you must be starving,” she said, trying to converse with the dog, glancing at the convenience store behind her. you can call her idiotic, but hey, she's a sunshine! “wait here, okay? i’ll get you something.”

she straightened, leaving the groceries by the curb as she darted back inside. when she returned a few minutes later, she had a packet of wet dog food and a disposable bowl. she opened the packet, her fingers fumbling slightly in her hurry, and poured the food into the bowl.

“there you go,” she said, setting it down.

the puppy sniffed the bowl before diving in, eating with the kind of desperation that made her chest ache.

“slow down, buddy,” she said gently, laughing softly. “it’s not going anywhere.”

as she watched the puppy eat, she pulled out one of the ice creams that she'd got from the cvs, peeling the lid off and taking a small bite. the cold sweetness melted on her tongue, and for a moment, she let herself enjoy the simple pleasure of the moment.

“y/n?”

the familiar voice startled her, and she turned quickly, her eyes widening as she spotted seungmin standing a few feet away. he had his hands in the pockets of his jacket, his baseball cap pulled low, and his expression was unreadable as always.

“seungmin?” she said, blinking. “what are you doing here?”

“could ask you the same thing,” he replied, stepping closer, crouching down beside her. his eyes flicked to the puppy, which was still happily eating. “who's this?”

“well, a stray,” she said, brushing her hands on her skirt as she still stood crouched. “i found it shivering out here. couldn’t just leave it.”

he crouched down, studying the puppy with quiet interest. “you have a thing for strays, don’t you?”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“first a stray guy, now a stray pup,” he said, glancing up at her with a faint smirk.

“are you calling yourself a stray? am i hearing you right? also- you're not.. stray, you’re just selectively social.” y/n blinked before laughing, her cheeks warming slightly.

“is that what you’re calling it?” he muttered, but his tone was light.

“well, maybe, i just have a thing for dog-like people.”

“are you calling me a dog?”

“yes. i mean- no, but yeah! i mean, look at you. your side profile looks like one of an adorable dog's.”

“so first you call me a dog, and second, you're calling me cute?”

“did i stutter?”

“bold.”

“no, just truthful.”

the puppy finished eating and looked up at seungmin, its tail wagging tentatively. he reached out a hand, letting it sniff him before scratching behind its ears.

“cute,” he said simply, glancing over to her then back at the puppy, his voice soft.

y/n smiled, watching the scene unfold. there was something about the way he moved, so careful and deliberate, that made her heart feel strange.

“do you a dog of your own at home?”

“what makes you say that?”

“you're petting it well, like a true owner.” she grinned, shrugging. “or is it just your dog-like instincts, after all you are interacting with your kind.”

“if you don't stop-”

then came a tiny bark, from the puppy, looking at the two as they turned their heads.

“what? don't tell me you want more?”

woof.

one cvs pet-cup later.

“i got ice cream,” she said after a moment, holding up the second ice cream cup. “want some?”

he glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. “ice cream? in this weather?”

“it’s never the wrong time for ice cream,” she said firmly. “besides, i got chocolate. don’t tell me you don’t like chocolate.”

“i don’t dislike it,” he said, standing and taking the cup from her. “thanks.”

they stood side by side, leaning against the railing by the curb as they ate. the dog lay down at their feet, looking content for the first time that evening.

“so,” y/n said, breaking the comfortable silence. “what brings you out here?”

“groceries,” he said, nodding toward a small bag he’d set down earlier.

“for your family?”

“my dorm-mate and i,” he said simply, taking a small bite of the ice cream.

“oh, i see, you're a good friend and dorm-mate then, huh?” she teased, nudging him lightly with her elbow.

he shrugged, his expression unreadable. “i can't cook without burning the kitchen down and i owe the guy for cooking everytime.”

“you baseball types are all the same.”

“excuse me?”

“my grandpa used to be on a big player back in the day, and surprise surprise, he can't cook for a living either.”

“hey, it's called a skill. you can't balance two at once, can you?”

“i cook the best stews, well after my grandma. and i'm a commerce student.”

“it differs each person.”

“whatever you say, baseball guy.”

they fell into silence again, the kind that felt less like an absence of words and more like an understanding. y/n finished her ice cream and bent down to pick up the empty dog bowl, her cardigan slipping off one shoulder in the process.

seungmin’s gaze flickered to her then, lingering for a moment longer than it should have. the way her hair fell loosely around her face, the way her eyes softened as she looked at the pup—it was a kind of beauty that felt unassuming, effortless.

when she straightened and caught him staring, he looked away quickly, his ears turning slightly pink beneath his cap.

“you’re quiet again,” she said, tilting her head. “what’s on your mind?”

“nothing,” he said quickly, his voice a little too sharp.

she didn’t press, though she smiled knowingly. “you’re hard to figure out, you know that?”

“good,” he muttered, finishing the last of his ice cream.

she laughed, the sound light and musical. “well, i think i’m getting there. slowly but surely.”

the puppy yawned, curling up at their feet, and y/n crouched down again, running a hand over its back. “you think it has a home?” she asked softly.

“doesn’t look like it,” seungmin said, his tone quieter now.

“i wish i could take it in,” she said, her voice tinged with sadness. “but my grandparents… i know they’d be thrilled about a puppy in the house, but they're already busy to take care of it. and i have uni.”

he didn’t respond immediately, his gaze fixed on the dog. “it’s lucky you found it,” he said after a moment. “not everyone would stop.”

she looked up at him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice. “i guess i just can’t help it,” she said with a small smile. “things like this make me… happy, you know? helping.”

he met her gaze then, his dark eyes steady. “yeah. i can see that.”

for a moment, neither of them spoke, the world around them fading into the background. it was just the two of them, the quiet, and the warmth of something unspoken but undeniable.

“well,” y/n said eventually, breaking the spell, “i should probably get this little guy to a shelter or something.”

“i’ll come with you,” seungmin said, his voice firm.

she blinked. “are you seriously offering to hang out with me?”

“i want to help the puppy. you're just a.. plus one deal.” he said, cutting her off.

“yeah, right.” her cheeks warmed again, but she nodded, her smile soft. “okay. let’s go.”

as they walked down the quiet street, the dog trotting happily between them, y/n found herself stealing glances at seungmin. for all his gruffness and quiet ways, there was something about him that made her want to know more.

and though he didn’t say much, the way his gaze softened when he looked at her made her think he felt the same.

the streetlights cast a warm glow as y/n and seungmin walked side by side, the stray dog happily trotting between them. the soft hum of the town at night—distant cars, the faint buzz of streetlights—filled the silence. it wasn’t uncomfortable, though; it felt like the kind of quiet you could sink into, where words weren’t necessary but still welcome.

she pulled her phone out of her pocket, glancing at the time. “i should call my grandparents. let them know i’ll be a bit late.”

seungmin looked at her briefly, his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets. “you don’t have to explain to me.”

she smirked at his dry tone. “well, i wasn’t asking for permission, mr. quiet.”

he huffed softly, his version of a laugh, and she pressed the call button.

the phone barely rang before a warm, slightly teasing voice came through. “y/n, where are you? you said you’d be back by now.”

“sorry, grandpa! i got caught up with something. i’ll explain when i get back.”

her grandfather’s voice softened. “caught up, huh? does this ‘something’ involve a certain baseball boy?”

her face burned instantly, and she shot seungmin a quick glance. thankfully, he seemed entirely focused on the dog. “gramps!” she hissed into the phone, her voice barely above a whisper.

“what?” her grandfather replied, feigning innocence. “i’m just asking.”

“you're impossible,” she muttered, her cheeks still warm. “and no, this has nothing to do with him. i just—uh—found a puppy. a stray. i’m taking it to a shelter.”

“a stray puppy? and you’re walking around this late?”

“i’m fine, grandpa,” she reassured him quickly. “i’m not alone.”

the pause on the other end of the line was telling. then, her grandmother's voice came instead, even more excited. “so, it is the baseball boy! isn’t it?”

“i'll see you later, gramma!” she said quickly, her voice rising slightly in embarrassment.

“hey! be safe. and bring the puppy if the shelter doesn’t take it.”

she hung up, letting out a deep sigh and pinching the bridge of her nose.

“trouble?” seungmin asked, his tone casual but curious.

“not really,” she said, slipping her phone back into her pocket. “my grandparents just… like to tease me.”

“about what?”

she hesitated, biting her lip. “nothing important.”

his gaze flicked to her, one brow raised, but he didn’t press further.

instead, she changed the subject. “so, are you always this grumpy, or is it just for me?”

he scoffed lightly, his lips twitching in what might’ve been the start of a smile. “i’m not grumpy.”

“you’re totally grumpy,” she said, grinning. “but it’s okay. i like grumpy.”

“i’m not grumpy,” he repeated, a little more defensively this time.

“sure you’re not,” she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

the puppy barked softly, as if in agreement, and she laughed. “see? even he thinks you’re grumpy.”

seungmin sighed, shaking his head. “you talk a lot, you know that?”

“yeah,” she said easily, glancing up at him. “but you don’t talk enough, so it balances out.”

he didn’t respond, but the corners of his mouth quirked up ever so slightly.

they walked a little further before she spoke again, her voice quieter now. “do you think anyone will adopt him?”

seungmin glanced down at the pup, whose tail wagged happily as it walked between them. “maybe. he’s small. cute. people like that.”

she nodded thoughtfully, a small smile playing on her lips. “i hope so. he deserves a good home.”

“why didn’t you just take him in?” he asked, his tone more curious than critical.

she shrugged, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “i told you, i have uni and my grandparents are already a bit busy and need rest, you know.”

“would you keep him if you had a sitter for the time you were unavailable?”

“in a heartbeat,” she said without hesitation. “but… i don’t know. maybe someday, when i have my own place.”

he nodded, falling silent again.

“what about you?” she asked after a moment. “would you ever get a puppy?”

“maybe,” he said, his voice thoughtful. “if i had time for one, but two of my friends already have dogs, so i guess it is enough for me.”

“you don't seem like a dog person, but i bet you are.” she teased.

“why not?”

she tilted her head, pretending to think. “i don’t know. you’re just… too serious. dogs are all about fun and chaos.”

“and you think i’m not fun?”

“i know you’re not fun,”

his smirk widened, just a fraction. “you don’t know me that well.”

“maybe not,” she admitted, her voice softening. “but i’d like to.”

he glanced at her then, his expression unreadable. the streetlights caught the gold in her eyes, and for a moment, he felt something strange in his chest—something warm and unsettling all at once.

before he could figure out what to say, the dog barked again, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“we’re almost there,” she said, pointing to the shelter just ahead.

seungmin nodded, his hands tightening slightly in his pockets.

as they reached the shelter’s entrance, she bent down to give the pup one last pat. “you’re gonna be okay, buddy,” she murmured. “they’ll take good care of you.”

seungmin watched her quietly, his gaze lingering on the way her fingers moved gently over the pup's fur, the way her smile softened even further.

and when she looked up at him, her eyes bright and full of hope, he couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, she was starting to figure him out after all.

mastertag ୨୧ @cosmicalily thank you luvie <3

[bahablastplz]

All In | Chapter 7

pairing: Lee Felix x f!reader (mafia au)

summary: You didn't know what you were getting yourself into when you started dating Yang Jungwon, notorious mafia boss. Your life gets flipped upside down when you're found beaten and bloody by SKZ, the rival mafia group, and you're quickly integrated into their lives. What will happen when you try to leave your old life behind and start anew?

chapter summary: you wake up in a strange place tied to a chair. you find yourself confronting your past in the worst ways.

warnings: please see series masterlist for all warnings

series masterlist ~~ series taglist ~~ main masterlist

When you wake up, you’re tied to a chair. You scoff at the ridiculousness of it all, the cliche of getting kidnapped, waking up in an abandoned warehouse, and being tied to a chair. But of course, that’s exactly what happened. 

Your first thought is that you’re still wearing your dress, the expensive and elegant gown given to you by Jeongin. Once beautiful and appreciated, it now sits uncomfortably on your frame and scratches against your skin. It’s dirty around the edges now, slightly torn in a few places, and has blood stains on it though you’re not sure why. Your heart pangs in your chest when you think back to Jeongin who put a lot of effort into picking out your outfit and now it’s ruined. 

You take a moment to remember the events from the gala. 

Thinking about dancing with Felix makes your cheeks heat up and you shake your head, willing the thought away. Seriously, not the time. Never the time. You remember seeing Woojin, which makes your stomach twist uncomfortably… then what happened? Jungwon… Shit.

“Did you miss me?” Your head snaps up to see the man that you had hoped you would never see again sitting right in front of you.  You must not have seen him in the dark, as your eyes have really yet to adjust to the new environment but you wish you could just close your eyes and not open them again, feigning sleep. You know it wouldn’t work, so you take him in; he’s still wearing what you assume was his outfit for the gala, a black suit and tie with blazer unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up. Once his words register, you scoff and look elsewhere, anywhere else but the man in front of you. 

“Go to Hell.” You try your best to spit it out but your voice betrays you, cracking on the last word and revealing your fears. Jungwon laughs. 

“Is that any way to greet your boyfriend that you haven’t seen in two weeks?” 

“EX-boyfriend,” you emphasize. “As I remember, you beat me half to death. Sorry to break it to you, but that warrants a break-up in my books.” 

The man stands up, walking over to you and lifts your head to meet his gaze. You struggle against the tight rope chafing against your wrists and Jungwon lets out a breathy laugh. 

“I don’t really think you’re in a position to be talking back to me,” he says softly while punctuating each word. When you roll your eyes at him you’re met with a hard slap to your face and your hands jerk against the rope in an attempt to cradle and soothe the spot he just hit. “Bitch,” he spits at you. 

He walks around the chair, lost in thought. “If you’re hoping that they’ll come to save you, you’re sorely mistaken,” he says. 

“You don’t know that,” you say. Your heart squeezes at his words. 

He scoffs. “Why would they come and save you? You were just a pawn. Woojin told us everything. He told us about Lee Know, the infiltration, and how you played good at being Chan’s little pet. They’re not coming back for you. For Lee Know? They probably won’t come back for him either, that would be a suicide mission,” he laughs. 

“If you’re so sure they won’t come for me, why am I tied up?” It doesn’t make sense. It really just doesn’t add up. 

“You seem to forget I’m a cautious man. I’m not stupid to think that you wouldn’t run the first chance you have… and you’re mine. If I let you go, you’d run pathetically back to SKZ to whore yourself up to them, crying about what an awful man I am as if they’re any better. I don’t like sharing. You should know that,” he says, gripping your chin suddenly and forcing eye contact. “If you’re going to die, I’m going to be the one to kill you. I’m going to take my time with you and have my fun, yeah? Sit pretty here like the useless bitch you are, I’ll be back for you.” 

And with that, he leaves. You resist the urge to vomit as he closes the door behind him, emerging you in darkness. You don’t cry. You don’t scream. Instead, you sit alone with your thoughts and try to find a slimmer of hope. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Jungwon is wrong, you decide. They will come back for you. Just because Jungwon didn’t come for you when you were in the same situation doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t. You hadn’t known SKZ for very long, but they were kind, in a weird sense. And strangely loyal in a way that Jungwon just didn’t understand. You saw it for the first time when Woojin had touched you and lied to Chan–they cared more about loyalty and honesty than anything else. Chan’s words from the beginning of the evening rang through your ears: “We won’t let anything happen to you.” They will come, they will come, they will come. You repeat it like a mantra and you find that it soothes you. Isn’t that strange? That the one thing that soothes you and gives you the most hope is the prospect of being saved by the mafia group you tried so hard to escape not that long ago?

You find yourself thinking more about your dance with Felix as well. I want you to stay happy, he had said. It makes butterflies swarm in your stomach to think about but you try to will them away. He probably didn’t mean anything by that, you decide, it was just a nice comment. 

You don’t know how much time passes before that door opens again. You find that you almost fall asleep in the darkness despite the uncomfortable position. You physically recoil when you see the person that opens the door. Woojin. 

“Hello little mouse,” he says. He gets close. Too close for comfort, but not touching. 

“Leave me alone,” you tell him. “I thought I made myself very clear that I want nothing to do with you.” 

“No need to get snippy,” he tells you, crossing his arms. “And here I was coming to keep you company!” 

“Why would you think I want that?” you remark. “You betrayed us–You betrayed Chan,” you correct. “Why?” 

Woojin laughs and reveals his hand. In the dimly lit room you can see the missing appendage, a reminder of what happened not too long ago. 

“You’ll come to find that SKZ isn’t quite what you think it is,” he says. “There is a power imbalance. It’s not fair. The people at the bottom stay on the bottom even if they deserve to be on top. Felix has been Chan’s right-hand man for years. Do you really think Chan would cut off his finger?” You think about his words but they still don’t sit right in your stomach. 

“Lee Know. Is he…” 

“Dead? No. Not yet. He’s not in a position unlike your own, though. He’s sustained substantial injury.” 

“You told them… About his infiltration.” You push the matter forward, trying to get as much information you can. Even though you haven’t known the man for long, his absence has affected SKZ and his loss would be… you don’t even want to think about it. 

“Yes, I told them about Lee Know. It was the only way that I could get here, in ENHA and earn their trust. I’ve decided. After what Chan did to me, I needed to find somewhere else that could ensure my safety. I want him dead, you know. This is the only way I can make sure that happens. How can I hit him where it hurts? Get to Lee Know, and get to you.”  

“Chan doesn’t care about me,” you say. “If he comes for me it’s just so he will keep his word… that I wouldn’t get hurt. He’s an honest man but he’s not stupid. And I don’t think he would just come for me, Lee Know’s here too–” 

“That’s bullshit.” Woojin swallows thickly. His finger touches your neck and trails up to your jaw, repositioning you so that you meet his gaze. “You know just as well that I do that what Chan feels for you is more than what you would feel towards a hostage.” 

Hostage. That’s what you are, what you were supposed to be. And even since you escaped, you have never felt like a hostage. What does that mean?

“Chan doesn’t like in the way that normal people like,” Woojin warns. “He gets infatuated. He becomes obsessed and controlling and people end up dead. And he loves, in a sick sense of the word. Don’t you think that’s what’s happening?” 

“You’re implying that Chan loves me?” 

“Not implying. Stating. And not that I give a shit about you enough to tell you to be careful… but let’s just say that Bang Christopher Chan is not Yang Jungwon.” He laughs dryly. “Anybody with eyes can see the way that Felix looks at you too. Jungwon is right, you really just whore yourself out to anybody that’ll give you attention.” 

Before you can help yourself, you spit in his face. Woojin gasps and looks at you, disgusted, before striking you hard across the face. The metal rings on his hands bring a sting along with it and you feel blood running down your face. 

“Good for nothing bitch,” he says. “And I was trying to help you. Warn you. Watch yourself, little mouse.” With that, he leaves, encasing you in darkness once again. 

Once he’s gone, you struggle against the rope. The rope scratches against your skin, leaving it raw and red. Fight and fight as you may, there’s no getting out of this alone. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You awake with a sharp start several hours later. Your neck has a kink in it from the way your head lolled downward while you slept. You feel something touching your hands, though, and you jolt. 

“Shhhh,” you hear. You try to whip your head around to find the source of the voice but it doesn’t work. They stay thoroughly hidden. 

“Who is it?” You whisper back. You feel something sharp touch your skin and you tense, but untense immediately as the rope drops from its spot against your wrists. The man stands up and towers in front of you now, unraveling the rope from around your frame. You look up at him and squint in the darkness. 

“It’s Seungmin,” he whispers back. You massage your tender wrists and the places the rope sat uncomfortably on your body. “I need you to stay seated and pretend to be tied up until we come  back, just in case. For now, tell me what you know.” 

“Lee Know… He’s alive, but he’s hurt. Woojin is here, somewhere, and he’s completely turned tides. He’s working with ENHA now.” 

“That’s not good…” he muses. “Lee Know. Where is he?” 

“I don’t know, I’m sorry,” you say. You freeze and let out a small noise when you hear gunshots from above. 

“I have to leave,” Seungmin says with an urgency in his tone. “You stay here until someone comes to get you. Do not leave,” he reiterates. He runs and opens the door you’ve seen Woojin and Jungwon enter in and out from, looking to the left and to the right before heading into the hall. It’s several minutes later when the door opens again, and you let out a sigh of relief. 

“I bet you’re feeling pretty smug, aren’t you?” A voice says. Before you register it, you hear the click of a gun and cold metal pressed against your head. 

“Jungwon?” 

Your breath hitches as he presses the barrel further into your skin. Tears start running down your face before you can register it. 

“Why… Why are you doing this to me?” You sputter. It seems so unreal, how long ago was it that you were dating Yang Jungwon? It feels like eternity, but in reality it was only a few weeks ago. You were madly in love with him, devoted to him, even. Things went down south suddenly and rapidly and he showed you his true nature. 

“Are you dumb? I told you, if anybody is going to kill you, it’s me.” His words are laced with venom. “I’m going to show SKZ that they can’t mess with what’s mine. I wanted to have fun picking you apart and watching you beg for your life, but this will have to do, I guess.” 

“You’re going to kill me?” Your words are soft, full of understanding. This is it. What would your life be like right now if you never dated Jungwon? Would you be at home, watching bad TV with your sister? Would you still be working 9-5 at a tiny office making just enough money to scrape by? You certainly wouldn’t be here, in an abandoned warehouse with a gun to your head, spending your final moments praying to be rescued by an opposing mafia group. 

This is it. You don’t have many regrets, you suppose. You wish that you could’ve gotten in touch with your sister one last time, and you do regret letting a man like Jungwon control you for so long. You wish you could have been stronger, that you could have shown him, ‘this is the woman I’ve become. She’s not that same woman you used to push around.” Now you’ll never have that opportunity. 

“It’s over, Y/N,” you hear. You close your eyes. 

“Yes, it is,” a voice confirms. 

You never really understood how loud a gunshot was. Of course, people talked about it and they made fun of it in the movies, but nothing could have prepared you for this moment. Your ears feel like they might be bleeding and your brain is spinning around in your head. The silence you had grown so accustomed to has been replaced with a loud ringing sound that won’t go away, not even when you press your hands up to your ears to try to cover up the sound. 

When you finally open your eyes, you realize two truths: 

You are alive. 

Yang Jungwon is positively dead. 

Looking up, you see the man standing behind the trigger is Chan. You're breathing heavily now, to the point that you're not sure that your lungs are inflating despite the fact that you’re taking deep breaths. You’re covered in something all over your body, and you know it’s blood–some of it is yours, and some of it belongs to your past lover. Slumped onto the floor and still holding his gun, you see the hole where the bullet had entered his head. This is too much, you think, and you realize that you’re hyperventilating but there’s not much you can do to stop it. You feel hands on your body and someone is close, they’re too close, and you’re crying and you feel so heavy, but–

“Y/N,” Chan says. “Look at me.” His hands are on your face, willing your eyes to focus on his own and not the body on the floor. His eyes look frantically into yours and that, focusing on his face and the details of the dirt and blood caked into the crevices of his beautiful smile not appropriate for the occasion, those thoughts are enough to snap you to the present. 

He looks you up and down, lifts your arms and puts them back down, and even turns you around briefly. He’s scanning you for any major injuries, you realize. Content with what he finds, he lets out a sigh of relief. 

“You killed him,” you tell him. You’re confirming the fact–Jungwon is really dead, and this man in front of you is the one who took the life from behind his eyes. 

“I did,” he confirms. “I did what I had to do.” 

You're pounding your fists against Chan’s chest before you really realize what you’re doing. You’re crying, angry tears hot on your skin, and Chan makes no effort to stop you. You’re not really sure what you’re so upset about at first. You’re not exactly upset that Jungwon is dead, but you’re more upset with the fact that he was killed right in front of you. That you were faced with the dead body of your ex-lover, and Chan was the one to do it. So you shout and pound against his chest until you can’t anymore. 

“I need you to listen to me,” he says finally. “You’re going to go through those two doors.” He points to a set of doors behind you, ones that you mustn't have been able to see when shrouded in darkness. “You need to go and run, as fast as you can. Someone will find you.” He wipes away a tear from your face with his blood-soaked hands, accidentally further smearing the substance on your face. 

He turns from you, returning to where the violence is happening, but not before looking over his shoulder to make sure you followed his directions. 

You listen to his words. You push open the doors and run as fast as your feet can carry you, suddenly grateful for the training that you had started with Felix. The wind is bitter cold and your dress weighs you down but you hitch it up high over your waist. Your heels are long since forgotten and your bare feet scrape against concrete. You’re breathing fast and you’re covered with blood and suddenly you’re running into a body and you’re filled with surprise, because how did you not see it? 

But you smell him before you see him, flowers and musk, jasmine and earth, and your arms wrap around him in a tight embrace. You’re crying, sobbing into his chest, wordless as he picks you up and carries you away into the night. 

Because Yang Jungwon is dead, lifeless before your very eyes, and Chan was the one to kill him, and now you’re in Felix’s arms and now you are safe.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

a/n: surpriseee! i hope nobody was expecting that. there's still so much to happen i'm excited for everyone to read <3

taglist: @shuporanporang ; @purp13st4r ; @eurydiceofterabithia ; @heartsbyandra ; @thicccurls ;

@rylea08 ; @the-sweetest-rose ; @oddracha ; @kapelover ; @goldenmellow ;

@zerefdragn33l ; @uhh-awkward-rightt ; @astudyoftimeywimeystuff ; @kaleigh-2002 ; @thatonexcgirl ;

@mindfreecreator ; @linoalwaysknows ; @velvetmoonlght ; @minahaeyo ; @crystalchuuu ;

@hash2013 ; @skzswife ; @b0bbl3s ; @thecutiepieme ; @bear8585 ;

@moss-the-man ; @softkisshyunjin ; @sylveonitesworld ; @m00njinnie ; @nicoleparadas ;

@starsofasteria ; @klopez01 ; @luvlinos ; @hyunjinnnnnnnnnnnnnn ; @skz-akira ;

@boi-bi-ahaha ; @l33bang24 ; @hermione640 ; @gal82 ; @b-chansbbygirl ;

@kayleefriedchicken ; @notsojourni ; @hogwartslife64 ; @stilltrynafuckingtumble ; @ellelabelle ;

@melleus ; @hyun-bun ; @luminouskalopsia ; @leftovercigarettes ; @sabrina-gal-kpop

@ghostedgameplays ;

[bibittybopittybadbxtch]

If It Kills Me

Pairing: Mafia!Lee Know x Reader

Summary: You are the sunshine in Lee Know’s life. He will never let anything or anyone change that.

Warnings: Cannon level violence

A/N: Hello everyone! I’m thinking about turning this into a series. This was written on my phone so please ignore spelling errors, weird spacing etc…Nice comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated.

p.s

I do NOT consent to have my work posted, translated or published to any third party site or app.

Enjoy!

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Lee Min-ho, leader of south korea’s most prominent Yakuza syndicate SKZ had 8 people in this world that he cared about. Seven of which were men he had met in various stages of his life. Those men were like brothers to him. But you, you were number eight to be found but number one in the ways that matter.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Sunshine! Come here please.” You hear your husband Lee Know calling for you. The day you met him, you were wearing a yellow rain coat. He started calling you that in his head before he found out your name. The nickname stuck because that’s exactly what you are to him. In his dark and violent world, there you are shining through it.

You bookmark your page and set down the book you were reading in your home library. Walking down the long hallway to his office. On your way inside Seo Chang-bin, head of security, opens the door for you. “Good Morning Binnie” you greet as you pass him. He returns your greeting before turning off to the side to speak into his ear piece. Probably speaking to Han Jisung your personal guard, turned best friend.

Upon entering the office, the first thing you notice is your husband in all his glory.

Lee Know is powerful in every sense of the word. But his beauty makes you weak. He is sat behind a large oak desk leaned back slightly in his chair, top 3 buttons of his crisp white button down undone. Sleeves rolled up to his elbows to reveal his tattooed forearms. Years of history hidden in the ink. As he pushes away from the desk his large thighs spread slightly. His eyes are trained on you, capturing your every movement.

He notices the change in your demeanor immediately, smiling to himself. Lee Know is attentive like that. He can read you better than anyone and he does it well. “Yes?” you ask as you rock on your heels, hands tucked neatly behind your back. He cocks a brow and beckons you slowly with a finger. Once you’re close enough he wraps you in his arms and pulls you into his lap.

Lee Knows flashes you his a genuine smile and leans in to kiss you. You lose yourself in his hold. His hands are delicate holding you like fine china. He keeps you exactly where he wants you. Close. Only pulling back to catch his breath and allow you to catch yours.

He looks at with nothing but love and adoration. He opens his mouth to speak but before he can you hear an explosion and gun fire ensues. His entire face changes as he looks at you, points to his book case and says one word, “Go.”

[itsseohannbin]

• Like A Volcano | Part One | •

Han Jisung Mini Series

© itshannjisung, 2024

♡ itsseohannbins masterlist ♡

Series Masterlist

Chapter Genre: Fluff 💕Angst⚡️ Crack💥

-Bestfriends to Lovers Trope-

Summary: being best friends with the kings of kpop always has its ups and downs, and when you're offered a spot on the next European-American book tour to promote the publishing of your new book, there's one kpop king in particular who just doesn't want you to go.

Pairing: Idol!Han Jisung x Female Reader x Bestfriend Skz

** Includes two of my own original female characters, both whom are romantically involved with two of the members. Chan x Jo / Minho x Ash **

Warnings: a lil bit of fluff. angst. swearing. sexual innuendos. use of alcohol. best friend skz. selfish han jisung. lots of crying. the boys do not use honorifics.

Word Count: 9.3k

**this chapter is unchanged**

Enjoy!

Lately you’ve been feeling like you were the last of your kind.

You sat slouched back in a drunken haze, your eyes glaring at yet another group of girls as they squealed annoyingly with one another. One of the females, a tall blonde with long hair and even longer legs, had just emerged from a dark room with a male idol you didn’t care enough to recognize. The male removed himself from her side immediately and disappeared into the crowd of people that littered the large house, no doubt looking for his next target, while she was carried away by her friends towards the nearby bathroom. The girls all giggled and whispered in not-so-hushed voices, vying for the dirty details you doubt any of them would experience themselves.

You sent a hard glare to the closed door they locked themselves behind and took a long swig from your red solo cup. Even over the music and ever-growing chatter around you, you could still hear the flock of airheads screaming relentlessly in excitement for their friend.

Girls your age have always been so fucking dramatic and it annoyed the hell out of you.

“What’s wrong y/n? Can’t handle a little competition?” a familiar voice cooed softly in your ear as the cushion next to you sank and a muscular arm hooked itself around your neck. Changbin planted a kiss on your cheek before taking the cup from your hand and chugging the rest of the liquid inside. He gave you a satisfied look at your drink of choice as he swallowed before tossing the empty cup onto the table in front of you. “I never pegged you for the jealous type.”

“Come on Binnie,” you joked, lazily turning your head towards him. “You know I put all those girls to shame.” It took a couple of seconds for your mind to catch up to your movements and you were left giggling at the delayed response of your own brain.

It’s been a while since you’ve been this tipsy and damn, did it feel good.

“You’re damn right you do.” Jisung hopped over the back of the L-shaped couch you were stretched out on and settled himself beneath your legs. He had two red cups in his hands and he handed one to you out of habit, which you happily accepted. “Those chicks don’t even come close to the level you sit on, Bubs.” he purred, his hand coming to rest on your thigh.

You smiled at his words, loving the way your ego grew as each syllable left his mouth.

“And that, my dear Sungie-” you leaned in towards him and flicked his nose. “-is why you guys are my best friends.”

Jisung gave you a wide smile in return and pushed his dark hair out of his eyes before he began toying with the strings that were hanging from the multiple rips in your black jeans. 

“Because I’m devilishly handsome and put you on a pedestal not even God can reach?” 

You let out a sigh and fell back into the side of Changbin’s body, resting your head against his shoulder for support and cuddling into the warmth his strong torso always emitted. 

“Because you guys always lie to me so perfectly that I have no choice but to believe it.” you corrected him before chugging back whatever Jisung had filled your cup with.

You swallowed in disgust as the tequila burned the back of your throat. This was definitely going to be your last drink of the night.

 Jisung just smirked at you, choosing not to respond to your words as his hand rubbed up and down your leg soothingly, absentmindedly tracing soft circles on whatever skin he came across.

Changbin, however, took immediate offence to your words, as he usually did, and wasted no time speaking out against your claims.

“Yah! We’d never lie to you, Bunny!” he protested, his phone momentarily forgotten as he frowned down at you. 

You turned your head up to give him a blank look.

“Binne, you guys literally lied to me last week about going to the gym.”

“No we didn’t.”

“Yes. You did.” you deadpanned. “I asked if you guys wanted to go and get ice cream, and the two of you claimed you couldn’t because you were meeting Chan for arm day.”

The two boys exchanged a look of confusion before shrugging their shoulders at you. You rolled your eyes at them.

“I literally caught you guys eating ice cream together, at the ice cream place, without me. Do you know how much I had to pay Innie to come with me that night? Dude doesn’t like to be rented out for cheap, I’ll tell you that much.” you muttered before taking another long, treacherous drink from the cup.

Changbin shrugged his shoulders again and gave you a guilty look.

“To be fair, Bunny, the last time we went out for ice cream together you ate half of my sundae.” he stated, as if that made everything better. You glared at him, resisting the urge to punch him in the arm.

“Yeah, because you ate half of my cone. In one fucking bite!” you bit back. 

“Hey now, it’s not Changbin's fault he’s got such a large mouth.” Jisung reasoned. Changbin took the opportunity to make the joke you knew would come the second the words left Jisung's mouth.

“I’ll show you something else that’s big.” he smirked down at you, his eyebrow raised mischievously as he popped his chest. You rolled your eyes and let out a groan.

“You guys are pigs.” 

Jisung frowned at you. “So mean.”

“Says the one who lied to me.” you shot back, trying to stop the grin that fell on your face as you pulled a pillow out from behind your body and threw it at Jisung. You loved bantering with these two. You sure were going to miss this.

Jisung caught the pillow with his one hand and threw his other up in surrender, nearly spilling his drink in the process.

“Okay, okay, we’re sorry! We did go to the gym, but decided to have some guy time before coming home. You know, just us dudes.” 

You feigned offence, turning your mouth down into a frown and pouting at Jisung. You knew your actions would immediately tug at your best friends heart strings, but you continued to push your lip out further for added effect.

“We’ve been best friends for nearly six years now. When did I get downgraded from one of the dudes to just some basic bitch?” You saw the way Jisungs face softened at your pout and you felt victorious. That is until Changbin opened his mouth and made you nearly spit your drink out directly into Jisungs face.

“Since Jisung realized he’d rather fuck your brains out than fist-bump you.”

Both you and Jisung turned to stare at Changbin.

“Oh my god! Binnie! What the hell?” 

“Dude, come on. What the hell?” 

You and Jisung spoke at the same time, your face twisted into a look of utter shock, while Jisung looked as if he wanted to beat Changbin to death right then and there.

“What?” Changbin laughed, smiling between the two of you as if what he said was the most natural sentence in the world. “I’m just saying.”

“You guys are pigs.” You repeated your earlier statement, rolling your eyes at him and squishing yourself into the corner of the couch. 

“Maybe, but you love us.” Changbin said confidently.

“Well, that’s certainly debatable.” you retorted. Changbin just stuck his tongue out at you before pulling his phone back out of his pocket and going back to scrolling, indicating the conversation was done and he was satisfied with the havoc he caused. 

You glanced over at Jisung, his face flushed with embarrassment as he chugged his drink back in one gulp. You were going to reach out to reassure him everything was okay and that you knew Changbin was only teasing, but just before your hand reached his, he jumped abruptly from his spot. 

“Need another drink.” Was all he managed to mumble out before he disappeared into the crowd.

You glared over at Binnie. “Nice going, Bin.”

Changbin rolled his eyes in annoyance before standing up and straightening his clothes.

“I’ll go take care of it.” he muttered, shaking his head as he shoved his phone back into the pocket of his jeans. You called after him to be nice, but you doubt he heard you.

You took another gulp of your drink, finishing it off completely as Felix then approached the couch with a pout. His lower lip jutted out further than yours had and he looked incredibly cute.

“Lixie," you drawled, concern lacing your tone as you reached out for him. "What’s wrong?”

His eyes were red and glassy, his blonde hair was slightly disheveled and he looked so disappointed in himself you thought he was going to cry.

“I lost against Minho in beer pong.” He immediately took your hand and fell to his knees onto the couch before crawling up your body. He nuzzled himself in between your legs, his head resting on your soft stomach while his arms curled comfortably around your waist. Your one hand instantly ran itself through his slightly damp hair while the other rubbed his arm.

You smiled down at him as he propped his chin up on your belly, his frown growing impossibly bigger. You loved how much of a cuddle bug Felix was with you. It was so comforting and relaxing and nice. 

“What did you guys bet on this time?” You questioned with a raise of your brow, knowing full well that Minho would never play just for the fun of it. There always had to be a prize to be won, one that he could hold over the loser for the rest of their days.

Felix let out a whimper.

“My black Chelsea boots.”

You tried not to laugh, but the sound escaped you anyways, earning a groan from Felix as he shoved his face back into the fabric of your shirt. 

“It’s not funny, y/n.” he grumbled. You laughed again and patted his head.

“I hate to say it, but you did it to yourself Lixie. You know better than to challenge Minho to a drinking game. Didn't you learn your lesson after you lost your sweater?” you joked, your fingers still running through his hair. 

“I just wanted to see him drunk. He’s always the only sober one out of all us males. It’s not fair. And now I lost my favorite shoes because I was a fool.”

You laughed at Felix’ words. Despite him being annoyed and upset, his words came out in a delicate sigh as he relaxed into your touch. Running your nails up and down his scalp only made him sigh again and relax even more. 

“Don’t worry, Jo will get them back for you.” You reassured him. Your eyes scanned the crowd until you found Jo standing over on the other side of the room with a soda in her hand, situated across the beer pong table from Minho. She had a mischievous look in her big brown eyes as Chan held her lovingly at the waist. 

“In fact, I think she’s about to win them back for you right now.” you continued, watching Jo sink her ball into one of Minho’s cups on her first shot. Minho glowered at her like a delinquent as he proceeded to chug back his drink. 

Felix lifted his head from your stomach long enough to glance back at the two of them as they faced off in the intense game of beer pong. He chuckled lightly before laying his head back down.

“She’s so brave.” he whispered in amazement. “No wonder Channie loves her so much.”

You let out a laugh in agreement as your eyes stayed glued on your life-long best friends. They were disgustingly cute, and it made you want to throw up and squeal in adoration at the same time. 

You watched as Jo then made another shot, sinking another ball, and Chan congratulating her with a kiss to the side of her head, her colored hair swaying as she laughed victoriously.

“She’s the only one I know who can go toe-to-toe with Minho and actually win.”

Felix laughed before curling his fingers into the back of your shirt, squeezing you tighter. 

“I’m going to miss you so much, Bunny.” he whispered, his voice suddenly soft and sad. You glanced down at him and took in the look on his face. You could tell he was drunk from the way his eyes couldn’t quite focus on you, but you could also tell he was a second away from crying. Felix always got more emotional when he drank.

“I know Lixie. I’m going to miss you too.” you murmured.

He swallowed roughly, no doubt trying to prevent the lump in his throat from becoming even bigger.

“What am I going to do without you for the next eighteen months?” he asked. He didn’t even give you time to answer before he continued on his rant. “Who’s going to play video games with me until three in the morning and then help me bake cookies afterwards instead of going to bed? Who’s going to cuddle with me like this while we watch our shows and tell me to shut up when I talk through all the important parts? Who’s going to go on early morning walks with me and watch the sunrise from the roof? Who the hell are Seung, Hannie, Binnie and I supposed to flirt with now?” 

You gave Felix a look of confusion at his last words, but he didn’t even glance up from where his eyes were now focused on the fabric of the couch. He just rambled on.

“You’re the last single female in the group you know. If we try to flirt with Ash, Minho will threaten to kick our asses for just looking at his fiancée, and if we try to flirt with Jo, she’ll literally kick our asses. You’re the only safe, tame option available. What are we going to do?”

You let out a sigh at his words and gave his head one last scratch with your nails as you braced yourself for the conversation you knew you needed to have. As much as you loved the boys and their naturally flirty nature, you were now officially no longer single, and you needed them to know that their shameless flirting was doing more harm than good.

“Actually, Lixie, about that. I’m not single anymore.” you spoke slowly, bracing yourself for his reaction. You felt his entire body freeze for a moment before his head popped up at the sudden news, eyes wide with shock.

“Wait, you and Seojun made it official?”

You couldn’t tell whether or not he was grimacing at the news, but you gave him a hopeful grin regardless.

“Yeah, we did last week after dinner.”

Felix smiled, though you noticed it didn’t quite reach his eyes the way it usually did when he was happy or excited. “Congratulations Bunny.” 

You tried not to let his lack of enthusiasm affect you. “Thanks Lixie.”

“Guess I should stop doing this then, hey?” Felix then awkwardly pulled away from you before you could stop him, repositioning himself so he was sitting on the couch with your legs stretched over his lap, much like how you were sitting with Jisung moments earlier. Though, unlike Jisung, Felix’s hands stayed on your knees and didn’t wander. You felt your heart drop at the sudden change in the atmosphere that surrounded you two, but chose not to comment. 

Your new boyfriend Seojun never got along with Felix, or any of the other single males in your friend group for that matter. He made an effort to be friendly with Minho and Chan, as they were already happily taken, but he struggled to get used to the idea of you being surrounded by six single males twenty-four seven. Even though Hyunjin and Jeongin saw you more like a sister rather than a potential romantic interest, Seojun was wary of them too.

He was trying to be alright with the idea, you knew that and you appreciated it, but you also knew that he wasn’t going to get used to it overnight, so laying down a boundary with the guys was a must if you wanted this relationship to last.

Felix cleared his throat awkwardly and sent you a hesitant laugh when you glanced his way. “Seriously though, Bun, what are we supposed to do now if we can’t even flirt with our best friend?” 

You rolled your eyes and cracked a smile at his question. 

“Oh, I don’t know Lixie. Maybe you guys should exert all the energy you use flirting with me into finding actual girlfriends while I’m gone?” 

Felix granted you a look of complete and utter disgust, the tension that hovered in the air between you momentarily forgotten. “That’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said to me.”

You sighed.

“I’m sorry Felix, but Seojun is growing less and less fond of you guys by the second, which isn’t good considering he wasn’t very fond of you all to begin with. Anytime you guys open your mouths and make a pass at me, he gets more and more agitated. You guys gotta stop, or at least tone it back.”

Felix let out a snort of discontent. You heard him mumble something about trust and relationships, but just as you were about to question him, you were interrupted by the sound of the music being cut short and microphone feedback echoing loudly off the walls.

You and Felix, along with everyone around you, all jumped at the noise and looked towards where Chan was now hoisting himself up onto the DJ’s stage that sat in the far corner of the living room, microphone in hand.

“Excuse me, can I have everyone's attention please?” he spoke loudly into the mic. The bodies that filled the room all turned to look at Chan as he waved at everyone to quiet down so he could talk.  “Guys, please, if I can have a moment?” he tried again. 

Groups of party-goers began sauntering out of the kitchen while clusters of people sat down along the staircase and others emerged from rooms looking guilty and disheveled. You were always jealous of how easily Chan could captivate an entire room of people in a matter of moments.

Changbin suddenly plopped back down onto the couch next you, wrapping his arm around your neck once more while Jisung took a seat beside Felix. He looked a little less flustered now, but far more intoxicated than he was before.

Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin pushed their way through the crowd and came around the side of the couch, settling themselves at your feet with drinks in their hands, while Minho plopped into an empty chair across from you, pulling Ash into his lap as he did so. 

In a matter of seconds, the entire room was quiet, watching Chan in awe as he flashed his dimples and began to speak.  

“Thank you all so much for being here tonight. The guys and I could not have asked for a better turn out. I’m sure a lot of you thought that the guys and I threw this party to celebrate our most recent comeback, but this party is actually a going away party we are throwing for one of our closest and dearest friends.”

When Chan made eye-contact with you and suddenly lifted his finger in your direction, you cringed and felt heat rise to your cheeks. Everyone's head turned your way.

“Y/n, Bunny, would you please join me on stage?” He beckoned you to join him. You resisted an eye roll and sighed as you looked up at Chan, your face flushed. You did not want this to be such a big deal.

“Bunnnnnnyyyyy,” Chan teased a second later, smiling at you expectantly. You shook your head and sent him daggers, begging him not to make you stand up in front of all these people. He didn’t let up though, and instead, he jumped down from the stage and pushed his way through the crowd towards where you sat, giving you a look that you knew all too well.

“Touch me and you die.” you threatened. 

Jeongin and Hyunjin leaned out of Chan’s way once he reached the couch, and before you could fight back, Chan grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you to your feet. He immediately ducked and picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing at all.

He held you firmly with one arm, laughing maniacally as he turned and retreated to the stage, ignoring the way you kicked your legs and begged him to put you down.

“Put me down you fucking heathen!” You squealed, trying to wiggle out of his tight grip.

He didn’t set you down until he was back on the stage, this time joined by Jo, who made sure to give your ass a loud smack before your feet even touched the ground. You glowered at her, but she just smiled and winked at you in return. 

She was your absolute best friend in the whole world, like two peas in a pod. She was the Ying to your Yang, the Sugar to your Spice, the Minho to your Jisung, so it was impossible for you to stay mad at her for anything, big or small. Still, you glared at her as she smacked your ass once more before she wrapped her arm around your waist and smiled proudly up at you.

“This girl right here is one of my oldest friends.” Chan announced then, putting his arm around your neck and leaning his head against yours. “She’s one of the coolest, most down-to-earth and loving people I’ve ever met, and tonight, we are celebrating her last night in town, as she leaves for her first ever European-American book tour tomorrow!”

You felt your cheeks and the tips of your ears redden as the crowd of people you mostly recognized but barely knew all erupted into cheers. A lot of them were other idols and groups that trained with Chan and the boys before debut, and they all looked genuinely happy for you, but there were a handful of those who you didn’t know, friends of friends you guessed, who cheered regardless just to feel included.

“This is something she’s been working towards for the last three and a half years! Not only is this her first published book, and first tour ever, but Under Our Stars has just hit number two on New York Time’s Best Selling Books of 2022!”

Again, the crowd burst into cheers at Chan’s statement, your friends being the loudest and proudest of them all, and you fought back a wave of emotion that suddenly entered your body.

“She will be gone for the next eighteen months, so everyone, please, if you respect me and love me, please bid our Bunny goodbye and wish her luck on her journey before you leave tonight.”

Chan paused to grab his drink and raised it in the air.

“To y/n!” he toasted, and everyone in the room toasted along with him. "I am so proud of you Bunny. You deserve all of this. You’re going to kill it out there.”

You smiled awkwardly at the unexpected applause you received, trying to hold back your tears as you planted a peace sign to your dimple and gave the crowd a goofy grin in thanks.

Chan pulled you into a tight hug while the crowd continued to clap for you. You could hear Felix, Minho, Ash, and Seungmin scream your name as Hyunjin and Jeongin began clapping manically. Jisung and Changbin let out a ‘That’s my baby!’ somewhere in the background of the noise, but you were too focused on Chan and his now glossy eyes as you pulled back from his embrace.

“Bang Christopher Chan, are you crying?” you teased quietly, not wanting to draw attention to him. He all but nodded and buried his face into your hair, pulling you in for another tight hug.

“Y/n, you’re one of my closest friends. I’ve known you and Jo since we were in diapers. Writing has always been what you wanted to do, and you’ve spent your life working towards this accomplishment. You got to watch me and the kids live out our dreams, and I’m so excited that we finally get to watch you live out yours.”

The music started up again and people had gone back to what they were doing prior to Chan's dramatic speech, but you were too awestruck by his drunken words to return to your spot on the couch with Changbin. You gave him a frown as the tears escaped his eyes, and you reached up with the sleeve of your sheer shirt to try and wipe some of them away before you hugged him one last time.

“I love you Channie,” you whispered. Chan sniffled once, twice, almost three times before crushing you into his arms, causing Jo to step forward and grab him as he cried.

“Okay Big Guy, let the girl breathe.” she rolled her eyes as she thankfully pulled Chan away from you. “We aren’t saying goodbye until we drop her off at the airport tomorrow. You gotta’ save your strength so you can hold me when I inevitably end up blubbering like a little bitch.” she soothed, the tears still falling dramatically down his face.

He didn’t even care if he looked pathetic. He was so happy for you.

“I’m just so happy for her,” he voiced, practically sobbing into his girlfriend's shoulder. She shushed him and handed the microphone back to the DJ before wrapping her arm around him and pulling his large figure off stage. 

You shook your head at him, thankful to have him in your life, before you jumped off the stage yourself and returned to your spot on the couch. People smiled and patted your back as you passed them, congratulating you on your success and wishing you luck, which you awkwardly thanked them for.

When you reached the couch again, you plopped back down in your spot beside Changbin, cuddling into his side. Felix had retreated to the floor with the other three, all four of them watching tiktoks together, allowing Jisung to take his place under your legs once again. Almost immediately after you laid back, Jisung bent his upper body to lay next to you, his head resting on your shoulder as you pulled out your phone and began checking your notifications.

The rest of the night went by like this. You, surrounded by your closest friends, laughing and drinking and enjoying the last few hours of peace you’d have before your life turned into one big stressful puddle. A puddle filled with book signings, late flights, early mornings, meet and greets and more. And even though you acted as if the entire tour wasn’t at all a big deal, deep inside you were scared to death.

*****

You have always been enamoured by Han Jisung.

Ever since you met him pre-debut, you knew he was the type of friend you’d inevitably have for a lifetime. His hard-work and dedication, his playful personality, his big brown eyes and gummy smile. The second he introduced himself to you at Chan’s backyard barbeque, you knew his presence in your life would be infinite.

Sure, he came across as an asshole during his time on the survival show, but you knew right away his attitude was nothing but a façade he had put up in order to protect himself, to mask the anxiety in his brain that never seemed to have an off switch. 

But off camera, he was nothing but an introverted goofball who just wanted to be liked by everyone around him. He craved attention and praise, and as he and Chan and the other members who would eventually make up Stray Kids bonded, you and he bonded too, and quickly at that.

It had taken him no longer than two months to worm his way into your heart, and that’s where he snuggled up and stayed, taking up a permanent residence right next to Chan and Jo. 

The two of you did everything together. Going out for food, clothes shopping, karaoke, late-night ice cream runs, bike rides, road trips, vlogging on your crappy iphones for no one else except for you two to see. You helped him find beauty in the smallest of things, creating inspiration for his music, and he helped you see the world in a different light, bringing you inspiration for your book. 

You two were quick to become the best of friends, the perfect combo, like peanut butter and nutella; loveable on your own but together, you were unstoppable. 

You never could pinpoint the exact moment your enamourment with Jisung grew into something more, only that it was after debut, when he really started to find himself. One day he was your best-friend, the next you looked at him as if he hung the stars, because for you, he did. 

For you, he would.

Never in a million years did you think he’d feel even an ounce of something in return for you, and when he began bringing home random girls and disappearing into his room with them every Friday night, you knew you’d never be anything more than his best-friend. 

But you were okay with that. The affectionate and loving friendship the two of you shared would suffice for the next one hundred years if it had to. You’d take him however you could have him, and if that meant watching him be happy with someone else, then so be it.

It took you a long time to get over some of your feelings for him; some days you still felt like you had a long way to go, but when you met Seojun at the most recent Authors Convention nearly five months prior to this fateful night, it immediately felt easier. 

Suddenly, Jisung wasn’t invading every thought, causing a hitch in every breath, being the sole reason for every laugh that bubbled up from your throat. You loved Jisung more than you’ve ever loved anybody else, but with Seojun, it just felt easier to exist, and that was what helped your feelings for Jisung slowly begin to fade.

So, when Jisung wrapped his arms around your waist and snuggled his face into your neck in a drunken stupor, pulling you from your racing thoughts, your breath hitched in your throat, just like it always did. When he planted a soft kiss against your neck right below your ear, small enough for no one else to notice, you froze in place. When a soft whimper left Jisung’s mouth involuntarily, followed by a whispered plea, “Jagiya”, you thought your heart would stop beating right then and there.

Just like it did every time something like this happened.

Before you did something you’d both regret, you had to remind yourself that Jisung was intoxicated and just looking to get his dick wet, that he didn’t actually want you the way you wanted him.

A wave of guilt washed over you. 

You knew you needed to tell him about Seojun. As much as you wished Jisung would do it again, you had to remind yourself of the romance you had decided to chase, a promise of a long-lasting relationship with someone who actually liked you back. 

You weren’t about to throw that away for a one night stand you knew Jisung would regret in the morning when sobriety took over, no matter how badly a piece of you wanted to.

You needed to tell him, but this was not the time or place. 

You gulped as your nerves sprung to life at the mere thought of the conversation, and Jisung picked up on your change in mood instantly. He lifted his head up to look at you in concern as a shaky breath left your mouth.

“You okay, Bubs?” he whispered quietly as to not draw attention to the two of you. 

The house was emptying out slowly but surely as the clock drew closer and closer to midnight. A lot of the guests had early morning interviews and practices, so you didn’t expect anyone to really stay past one. But just because loads of people had already said their goodbyes and left, it didn’t mean there weren’t dozens more still lazily hanging about.

The music had dwindled significantly, leaving the room filled with nothing but noisy chatter. Chan and Jo were beginning their slow clean up of the house, accompanied by Minho, Jenn and Felix, but it still felt too crowded to have such an important talk. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” you gave him a reassuring smile, ignoring the way his hands ran up and down your sides. “Can we maybe go somewhere a little quieter? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

Jisung gave you one of his goofy, gummy-filled grins and nodded before pulling himself up and off the couch. He grabbed you by the hand, lacing his fingers with yours as he pulled you to your feet and dragged you away from the crowd.

“I’m actually really glad you asked. There’s something I’ve been meaning to show you and I think now is the perfect time.”

You were silent while Jisung pulled you up the staircase and down the hallway towards his bedroom. 

“I finished this song yesterday and I really need your opinion on it.” he spoke again as he pulled you into his room and shut the door behind you. He guided you excitedly to his desk and pushed you down into his computer chair, ignoring the way you sighed at him as he opened his laptop and loaded up his music file.

“Sungie, this isn’t really the ti-”

“Please Bubs? Please?” Jisung interrupted, a hopeful look on his face, his hands praying for you to hear him out. “Please, I just need three minutes of your time and then you can have the floor for as long as you want. It’s really important to me.”

You couldn’t help but give in after seeing the twinkle of anticipation in his eyes. You always loved how excited he got over the tracks he made, and how you were always the first one he showed them to. Sure, you knew almost nothing about producing music, just the basics you learned from Chan and Changbin, but Jisung always took your feedback seriously and worked his ass off to make sure each and every track was perfect.

“The working title right now is Volcano. It’s my favorite track yet.” he explained. He handed you his big headphones and helped you place them comfortably on your head before pressing play.

Jisungs expression while he watched your reaction was a mixture of anxiousness, enthusiasm, and hope, and you knew by the intensity of his gaze that this wasn’t just another track he’d stirred up in a day's time. He slaved over this track for months and your opinion and feedback alone would either make or break his decision to release it publicly. 

The song was absolutely incredible. You never heard a song so raw, so passionate, so intense before, and you felt yourself get goosebumps along your arms and legs with every word.

You closed your eyes and allowed your entire body to get lost in the beat, the emotion behind Jisungs voice overwhelming you so much that you found tears building up in the corners of your eyes as you listened to the melody, the tune, the lyrics.

It made your heart flutter and clench in pulses, and when that chorus crashed back into your eardrums one final time, you felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest and explode.

It was fucking phenomenal.

And then it was over way too soon.

Jisung was quiet while he watched you, smiling while he brought his hand up to wipe away the tears that managed to escape down your face. He waited patiently as you hit the replay button and listened to the song again, not once, not twice, but three more times.

Immediately, it became your favourite song.

After your fourth playthrough, Jisung waited patiently while you salvaged your composure, breathing through the emotions that had hit you like a brick.

“Sungie,” you whispered, shaking your head in amazement as you finally turned to meet his gaze. “That song is-” you trailed off, unable to even find the words to describe what you were feeling right now.

Despite the tears in your eyes and the proud look on your face, Jisung was still nervous.

“Did you like it?” he asked while wringing his hands together.

You let out a huff of laughter, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Like it? Jisung, it’s fucking beautiful. I love it.” you told him honestly.

A breath of relief left Jisungs mouth before his face fell into one of the brightest, cheekiest smiles you’ve ever seen.

“Thank fuck.”

Another laugh bubbled out of your mouth and you gave him a look of endearment.

“What? Was my opinion really that important?” you teased, knowing full well that it was. You were completely unprepared for the next words to slip past his lips.

“Well yeah, I wrote this song for you, Bubs.”

You froze in place, your eyes on his once again as your smile fell.

“What?” you asked.

Jisungs grin grew impossibly wider, his eyes beaming with adoration.

“A fucking beautiful song for a fucking beautiful woman.”

You suddenly felt like you couldn’t breathe.

This is not where you wanted this conversation to go.

“Jisung, I don-”

You were cut off abruptly by the sound of your phone ringing loudly in your pocket. Confused and frustrated at the interruption, you pulled it out and felt a sharp pain stab through your chest.

Seojun.

Of fucking course it was Seojun.

“Shit, sorry Ji, I have to take this.”

You didn’t bother waiting for an answer before you jumped from your seat and paced towards the door, trying to keep your voice low. Jisung bit his lip and watched you anxiously, listening in to the one-sided conversation you were having. 

He knew the second he saw Seojuns name pop up on your phone that something was up.

“Hey Seojun…. Yeah, I’m doing good, still hanging with the crew… Yeah, I’ll be heading home in the next hour or so to pack… You know I procrastinate!... Well, maybe when I’m home we can facetime and you can help me pack?.... God, you’re so wonderful…. I’ll call you when I’m home okay?… You too…. Bye.”

Jisung tried to keep it together as he overheard you speaking in a low, hushed voice. He tried to keep cool, but he could practically hear his heart shattering as each word left your mouth. You and Seojun were no longer just friends, and all plans to confess his ever-growing feelings to you after pining after you for so long suddenly dissipated.

All the years Jisung spent trying to make you jealous, trying to get your attention, trying to make you see that you were everything to him and more, was in vain. All his advances and relentless flirting had no effect on you.

You had found someone else. 

It was game over for him.

Jisung felt ill.

“Sorry Sungie, wha-” you stopped short when you turned back towards him, noticing the way his head was now hung. His unblinking eyes stared at the ground as wetness pooled at the corners of them, causing panic to set in your bones. 

“Jisung, what’s wrong?” He was picking at his thumbnail and didn’t even glance up when you spoke.

He was silent for a moment before, “I don’t want you to leave.”

His voice was quiet and sad, and it shook slightly as he responded. He knew trying to convince you to stay was useless, but now that he knew you and Seojun had taken the next step, he was desperate to grasp at straws. He needed you to stay.

You frowned at his words and sat next to him in the chair, taking his hands in yours. You rubbed your thumbs over his knuckles, urging him to stop picking at his skin.

“I know Sungie. This next year and a half is going to suck, but we’ll survive it. We always do.” You reassured him. You were completely oblivious to the reason behind Jisungs sudden change in mood, and it was making him feel worse. He hiccuped and a drop of water fell onto the back of your hand, followed by another, and you felt your heart crack.

Jisung was crying.

“Sungie, what’s wrong?” You asked him again, instinctively pulling him into a hug. His arms snaked around your waist without hesitation and he buried his face into your neck. You could feel his tears soaking your skin and you found yourself holding back a sob of your own as your hands ran slowly up and down his back.

“Please don’t leave me. Please, Bubs. I need you. I need you here with me. Please stay.” he cried. He hated groveling, hated being weak like this, but he had to find a way to stop you from leaving with a man who didn’t love you the way he did. He’d do anything.

“Ji.” you whispered as you pulled back to look at him, brushing stray hairs out of his eyes as you wiped at his tears. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”

Jisung shook his head and let out another choked sob before he swallowed and did the last thing you ever expected him to do. He quickly brought his hands up to cup your cheeks and pressed his lips against yours roughly, pouring every ounce of love and adoration he had for you into the kiss he’d been waiting years for.

His lips were warm, soft, and felt like heaven against yours, but the shock of his actions caused you to pull away from him in total confusion.

“Sungie, what the hell are you doing?” you asked, unsure how to process what had just happened. Jisungs hands stayed glued to your cheeks as he pleaded.

“Please, don’t go. Not with him.”

You froze at his words. Dread and confusion turned your stomach to mush and you felt like you were going to throw up as Jisung continued to speak.

“Seojun's an asshole. He’s not good for you. I don’t want you to go with him. None of us want you to go with him.”

You pulled your face out of Jisungs hold and leaned away from him, a look of betrayal and shock clear across your features.

“I’m sorry?” There’s no way you had heard him right. “What do you mean none of you want me to go with him?”

Jisung wiped at his face, trying to dry the tears that continued to pour out at your silent rejection.

“The only one who likes him is you, Bubs. The only reason we even tolerate him is because Jo asked us to.” 

You blinked at his statement, feeling another wave of confusion wash over you, followed by irritation and then downright annoyance. Your brain was honestly still trying to process the kiss you two shared, but your mouth was five steps ahead.

“What the hell is your problem?”

“Do you love him?” Jisung abruptly asked.

“Jesus Jisung. I don’t know! We haven’t even been dating for a whole week, you idiot!” 

“So you don’t love him?” 

He knew he was being an idiot now, sputtering out any type of bullshit he could to try and save this. He knew it was useless, but he always told himself he wouldn’t go down without a fight, and a fight is what he got.

“What the fuck, dude?” You threw your hands up in exasperation, growling at his stupid inquiries. Jisung winced at your change in tone. 

“I’m sorry Bubs. I don’t like him. He’s not good for you! You and I both know the only reason you’re with him is because he got you published.” 

That was a low blow, he knew it. But the connection from his brain to his mouth had been severed and all he could do was ramble, letting his emotions take control.

“Are you-? Are you saying the only reason I was invited to go on this tour is because of him? As if I couldn’t have done any of this myself?” you spat, feeling your anger boil. Jisungs eyes widened as you misunderstood what he was trying to say.

“Jesus, Bubs, no, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just-” he paused and ran a hand through his hair, pulling on it roughly in frustration before letting everything out, rendering you speechless.

“I am so fucking head over heels in love with you, y/n. Can’t you see that? I’ve been in love with you since before debut. I have spent years trying to get your attention. And suddenly, this asshole shows up out of nowhere and kicks me to the curb? I should be the one going on this tour with you, travelling with you, making memories with you, not him. I should be the one beside you, holding you while you live out your biggest dreams. It’s always been you and me.” 

At Jisungs sudden confession, a new wave of emotion overcame you. The anger, the annoyance, the irritation all drained from your body and you were left with nothing but tears suddenly pouring out of your eyes the same way they were pouring out of Jisungs.

You had waited for so long to hear those words come from his mouth. You had dreamed of him confessing to you and kissing you the way he had so many times, in so many different ways, so why was your heart breaking impossibly more instead of soaring the way you always imagined it would? 

Why was he doing this?

Why now?

You let the tears fall down your face freely, not bothering to wipe them away while Jisung sat on the stool, staring at you with so much conviction in his big, beautiful eyes. Anger, sadness, adoration and love, regret, hurt. All of those emotions shone back at you and you felt every single one of them as if they were your own.

“Why are you bringing this up now, Sungie?” you whispered, desperately searching for reason. “When I’m less than twenty-four hours away from going on the biggest adventure of my life. Why?”

Jisung’s face softened as he reached forward and grabbed your hand. He watched you hiccup and sniffle while he rubbed his thumb over yours in an attempt to help you calm down.

“Because I don’t want you to leave,” he whispered.

If his confession didn’t throw you for a loop, this last sentence definitely did, and you found yourself jumping out of your seat, the bubble of anger suddenly returning.

“That’s bullshit Jisung! Are you fucking kidding me right now?" you spat out in disbelief. "I have known you and the guys for almost six years. I have done nothing but support you and cheer for you from the sidelines while you’ve been living out your biggest dreams on stage, becoming the superstar you always said you were born to be. I have stayed up with you for nights on end, helping you make your mark in this industry, watching you create and produce beautiful music. I have stayed behind while all ten of you guys go on tour without me and I haven’t complained once because it’s been your dream, and now that I’m about to go live out mine, you’re telling me you don’t want me to go? Do you know how fucking selfish that it?”

You began pacing around the room, searching for something to punch while simultaneously trying to resist the urge to break anything you could find. Jisung sat planted on his stool, staring at you. 

“I’m sorry.” he spoke low enough that you almost didn’t hear him. You did though, and his words caused you to whirl around on him once more, your face now covered in mascara-stained tears while every emotion you were feeling brought an unruly red to your face.

“No, you’re not! If you were really sorry, Jisung, you wouldn’t have even brought this up in the first place! So why are you? Why now? If you’ve felt this way about me for as long as you’ve said, why now? Why not a month ago? Two months ago? A year ago? Three years ago? If you’ve felt this way about me since debut, why haven’t you told me?”

Jisung’s face scrunched up into an expressionless laugh as he crossed his arms and gave you a sceptical look.

“Do you honestly believe if I had told you how I felt all those years ago, you would’ve had an ounce of feelings for me in return?” Jisungs face was quizzical and sour, his voice dripping with a sudden poison as he glowered at you.

He was oh-so impossibly wrong.

It was your turn to let out a humorless laugh.

“Contrary to popular belief Jisung, yeah actually, I would’ve. I did.” you answered. In a split second, Jisungs demeanor flickered, his eyebrows softening at your words and a puzzled expression found its way to his face.

“Wait, you what?” he asked in surprise. You hesitated for a moment before spilling out your own confession to him. You two were already this deep into the fight, there was no point in holding back now. 

“Jisung, I have loved you since the moment I first met you. I fell in love with you after watching you work your ass off every damn day, doing everything you possibly could do to make sure you’d survive another week on the show. The hours upon hours of dedication and hardwork you put into being the best version of yourself possible. Being the most vulnerable, unapologetically, truest version of yourself. I watched you fall and fail, and I watched you fail better. I watched you grow from this small, innocent little dickwad of a teenager to this confident and cocky grown ass man who oozes charisma and charm and happiness everywhere you go. I have loved you since day one, so don’t tell me I wouldn’t have.”

Jisungs eyes widened at your confession, his eyebrows disappearing behind the hair that hung across his forehead. He choked out a breath, shaking his head at you incredulously.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

You swallowed roughly around the lump that sat idly in your throat, willing your tears to stop.

“Maybe because I had to watch you stumble back into the dorms with a different chick on your arm every Friday night for four and a half fucking years! Yes, watching the one person I loved more than anything else in this world hook up with some random bitch who didn’t know the first thing about him really instilled a lot of confidence in me.”

You saw the way Jisungs eyes fell at your use of words, and you had to force yourself to look away from his face before you changed your mind.

“Wait, loved? As in-”

“Past. Tense.” You lied, glaring at the Han Quokka plush that sat on his dresser. Another one sat directly beside it, wearing a pink shirt and a tu-tu, meant to represent you. Quokka Prince and his Quokka Princess.

“Fuck.” Jisung spat, bringing your attention back to him as he removed himself from the stool and rushed towards you. You glanced at his face and regretted it upon seeing a new wave of waterworks streaming down his puffy cheeks.

“No, no, no, no.” he begged quietly, his hands coming up to cup your face once more. “Please, Bubs, I’m so sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry. For everything.” He planted a soft kiss to your forehead and you restrained yourself some melting into the feeling. “Please, stay with me tonight, yeah? I can fix this. We can fix this. We can talk about this and figure it out. Please.”

You hated the way butterflies tore through your stomach as soon as his hands rested on your cheeks, his big brown eyes staring into yours in a way you always wanted them to. You hated the way your head tilted up towards his automatically, silently screaming at him to just kiss you again. You absolutely despised the way you trembled under his touch as the pads of his thumbs wiped at your wet cheeks.

You couldn’t. You wouldn’t. You would not let yourself do that to Seojun, and you sure as hell weren’t about to pass up the opportunity of a lifetime that waited for you, no matter how much he begged. You couldn’t. You weren’t going to throw away your dreams for him. 

But with the way Jisung was holding you, it was nearly impossible for you to say no. Which is why you pulled your head out of his grasp once again and furrowed your brows together.

“You’re not listening to me, Jisung.” you whispered, your head now falling forward as you forced yourself to break your best friend's heart the way you always promised him you wouldn’t. “I don’t love you. Not like that. Not anymore.”

It was the biggest, filthiest lie that ever left your mouth, and for once, Jisung didn’t catch onto it. He didn’t hear the tremble that caused you to stutter over the words ‘I don’t’, and he sure as hell didn’t hear your heart shattering into a million tiny pieces as you spoke.

You stepped away from him and turned to leave. You needed to get out of this room, this house, before your emotions got the better of you and made you stay. You had an adventure waiting for you, you had fans to meet and books to sign and conventions to attend and memories to make, and you knew that if you stayed for even a minute longer, your resolve would break and you’d never leave Jisung or his room ever again.

“Where are you going?” Jisungs broken and defeated voice was small, but you stopped in your tracks as if he’d yelled.

“I’m going home to pack my suitcase and then I’m leaving for my tour. If this is still something you want to talk about when I get back, fine, but you’re not ruining this chance or this relationship for me. I’ll see you at the airport tomorrow.”

You took another step towards the door when Jisungs next words cut through you like a knife. His voice was hard, sharp and clipped.

“No, you won’t.” You knew if you turned back around, Jisungs face would be that of a total stranger. Stoic, numb, emotionless. His words forced a sob out of your throat at his abruptness, but you didn’t dare turn around

“I’m sorry y/n.” your name already sounded so foreign coming from his mouth, and it was then that you knew nothing between the two of you would ever be the same again. Chan always said the infamous Han Jisung loved hard and hated harder, and boy was he right. You could practically feel the daggers he was shooting into the back of your skull.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t say goodbye and let you run off with someone who doesn’t love you the way I do. I can’t let you run off and make the biggest mistake of your life. I won’t.”

You bit your tongue and swallowed hard, forcing tears back as your blurry vision found the polaroid picture of the two of you Jisung had sticking out from his lightswitch cover.

It was a candid photo Hyunjin had taken of you guys at the beach nearly three years ago. The two of you had your hands interlocked and you were dancing and laughing along the shore of the beach, the sun setting beautifully in the background. Neither one of you even realized Hyunjin took the photo until two months later when he gave it to Jisung as a birthday present. 

It was your favorite photo.

The lump in your throat grew bigger as you ripped your eyes away from the memory, knowing you’d never get that feeling of happiness with Jisung again. Not after this.

“Fine,” you sniffled one last time at his harsh and hurtful words. “I guess I’ll see you next June.”

And with that, you left.

Here we are, back at part one again!!!

Hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did!

As always, feedback & interactions are always welcome and greatly appreciated!! Thank you for reading!

Hannji Asks: what was your favorite part from Part One?

lmk in the replies or with an ask!

See you soon for Part Two!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @sungshineworld @collisvng @ihrtlix

If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know!!

Next Part

[daughter-of-eden]

welcome to my blog

hi everyone! this is my first tumblr blog (writing, rants, book reviews, art, exciting things that happened) so go easy on me if i screw formatting up. here are a few quick facts about myself:

name: call me parker, it's my middle name (i never use my first name because it's somewhat rare and my high school haters are on this app :p)

sexuality: bambi lesbian/queer; i know i'm ace (sex-repulsed) for sure, but i've been floating between biromanticism and homoromanticism, so for now i'm just queer lol

hobbies: reading, drawing, gardening, writing

favorite artists: jc leyendecker, salvador dali, frida kahlo

favorite musical artists: queen, bts, skz, shinee, the rolling stones, david bowie, etc. you can find me on spotify @ harry style's shiny forehead

aesthetic: dark academia, cottagecore, pink pastel; i'm trying to slowly reclaim my femininity

favorite books: good omens (fuck neil gaiman), anything by uncle rick, harry potter (fuck jk rowling), the carry on series, and many, many more

favorite movie: the birdcage with robin williams and nathan lane (i watch the movie every summer to cure my summertime sadness)

so yeah, that's just a few things about me. my asks are open and i welcome any questions about myself or literally anything in general. i'm looking to make friends so if you want to reach out, please do <3

[thelaughingvampires]

Looking For Friends I Guess

My name is Katy, I'm from Ireland and I'm 18.

Favourite Books - the PJO series, Maze Runner, Jurassic Park, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, Emma, Pride and Prejudice

Favourite Music - Maneskin, Xdinary Heroes, DPR Ian, SKZ, Keshi, P1Harmony, Ateez, Day6, GIdle, Sabrina Carpenter, Renee Rapp, Chappell Roan, Conan Gray, Blur, Beatles etc

(also like musicals)

Favourite Movies - Jurassic Park, The Day After Tomorrow, Armageddon, Independence Day (1st), The Conjuring, The Amazing Spiderman, The Batman, The Dark Knight, Coco, Hercules, Big Hero 6, Fantastic Mr Fox, Train to Busan, 28 Days Later, Oppenheimer, Zom:100

Favourite TV Shows - Vigilante, Smallville, Supernatural, Criminal Minds, The Umbrella Academy, Jujutsu Kaisen, Solo Levelling, BNHA, Bloodhounds, 911,

Games - BG3, Stardew Valley, Detroit Become Human, Hades, BOTW, Legends Arceus, Persona 5, Genshin impact, Honkai Star rail, ACNH, Sims4

I also have 4 cats.

If you like any of these things or have any recommendations for anything really feel free to interact if you wanna chat or something idk.

[kpop---scenarios]

I'M DOING FELIX'S FIRST CAUSE I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ WAR BOOK 3

A part of the SKZ mate series: Book 1 and Book 2

~ A Short, Standalone Story ~

Summary: What happens when two little pups called Lucas and Moon accidentally summon something in the depths of the night. Can they stop it before it gets worse. Join the adventure of the little wolves who are getting into trouble with their fathers constantly.

WARNINGS!

This fanfiction may include distressing themes so please read with caution. All rights belong to the author. I own the created characters and plots to make this fanfiction. The themes DO NOT REPRESENT the real people. It is a dark romance themed fanfic!

⚠️ Omegaverse, A/B/O, dark magic, violence, death, crying ect⚠️

💫🐺🌙

MASTERLIST:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Epilogue

Taglist for the iconic readers:

@silentreadersthings @ihrtlix @galaxy4489 @catlove83 @linocz @eastjonowhere @hyunmikim @jennibahng

[loveisonlyforthebrave8]

The new year in England is rapidly approaching and it always seems to make everyone so reflective.

So I figured, as this year has been one of the best, but also without a doubt, the *worst* years of my life, I'll make a reflective post of my own. This is more for me than for any of you, but if you find comfort or resonate with anything that I do say, hi- you're not alone.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that not everything is as you see on social media. People's lives are so vastly different to what we see through the lense of instagram or twitter, and sometimes even through his loveable hell site. It may look like someone is the happiest they have ever been, when in reality someone could be suffering and putting on a happy face to avoid the awkward questions.

My life this year started off strong- I had a dream job in film. I was financially stable. I had savings for the first time in my life. I was able to splash out and buy things I wanted without worrying what to eat that month.

One of the highlights was seeing my name on the big screen for Barbie. It was my first ever credit since joining the film industry. It had people I haven't spoken to in years reaching out to tell me how proud they were of me. It was a bit of a whirlwind to be honest. I felt untouchable, I felt seen for the first time. I felt great.

Until I didn't. Until it all came crashing down. The film industry went on strike. No, sorry, the writers and actors went on strike and the crews were forced out of work because of it. Now, don't get me wrong, I am 100% with the writers and the actors and I support the strikes wholeheartedly, but the knock on effect to the crews was one one the darkest times of my life. I suddenly found myself out of work, unable to find a new job, and that wasn't to say I didn't try. I cold-emailed every company, every production I knew who were still working, and even the ones I didn't. But alas, it was all in vain. There was no work.

My mental health was deteriorating rapidly and I didn't know what to do to bring myself back out of the dark. So I looked at my dwindling bank account and made a last minute decision. I'd never had this amount of time off from work before, and the only thing that gave me a shred of happiness was my silly little bl shows.

So I did what I thought would make me happy. I booked a last minute flight, and 3 weeks later I was in Thailand having the best 12 days of my fucking life. I met my long time, long distance bestie in person for the first time. I went to some of the most beautiful temples I had ever seen. I met the love of my life, Bible Wichapas, not once, but twice as I supported him at a local event. I made new friends who I still keep in contact with. I saw so many bl boys in the flesh it still boggles the mind. I travelled to the north of Thailand on an overnight sleeper train. I took a speedboat to literal Heaven on Earth and swam in the most crystal clear ocean. I got 4 tattoos all commemorating my time in Thailand and my love of Jeff Satur, Prapaisky, and Vegas Theerapanyakul (by definition Bible), by a local artist who charged me next to nothing (and then I got one more tattoo for my SKZ bias Bang Chan). I cried meeting an elephant. I visited some of the most iconic Kinnporsche the series sets. I rode on the back of a scooter for a forty minute journey that cost me £1.50. I ate the spiciest dish of my little white girl life. I got to see Man Suang on the big screen. I met Mileapo at the airport and Mile smiled and waved directly at me. I got stuck on a boat during the heaviest rainfall of my life. And overall it was the best experience I have ever had. I fell in love with the city, the culture, and everything in between.

But the moment I landed back home in England, the things I had desperately tried to bury by living my best life for 12 days hit me like a sack of shit. I had no income, no money, and a mountain of bills to pay. All those savings I had were gone in just 6 months. I started to panic. I had (several) breakdowns. I couldn't pay my friend back the money I still owed her. I could barely pay my rent. I couldn't tell my parents because I didn't want to tell them I'd failed. But I was stuck. I applied for any and every job under the sun, but even they didn't want me. I felt fucking useless... and once again my mental health was dragging me down to hell. I couldn't see a way out. When I did eventually get up the courage to tell my parents, one of them told me I was a fool to spend what little money I had left travelling to Thailand, as if I didn't already know it was a dumb idea. But what they didn't know was that the trip had ultimately saved my life.

After that reality check, I did what I have never in my life needed to do. I asked for financial help. And both my parents came through. I know how lucky I am that they did. Not everyone can turn to parents to help them out. I'm forever grateful. They gave me £500 each. So I now had rent money for two more months. I also went on benefits (which I'd refused to even consider for so long because to me if felt like defeat- it's not). But then I took the first job that would take me. I now have an income. It's minimum wage, but it pays the bills. I finally feel like I'm slowly making my way back to the surface. I've still got a long fucking road ahead of me, I'm still overwhelmed as fuck, working tow jobs and studying to teach English as a foriegn language, but things are slowly taking shape again.

I'm hoping the new year will help me get back on my feet. I've accepted a few days on a very well known soap which I'm excited and nervous about, but hopefully with it, the momentum in the industry I love that I lost last year will start to come back to me.

Overall, this year has been fucking crazy in the best and worst ways and I'll be glad to see the back of it. I'm not one for making resolutions as I tend to live life day by day, but my hope for this year is to get back to somewhere near where I was before.

And most importantly, I want to go back to Thailand in the not-too-distant future. Whether that's to visit or live, who knows?

2024- Let's fucking goooooo!

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

SKZ DRABBLE-OT8

The one where you're pretty sure you're being stalked. And not in the hot, sexy kind of way. Unless-?

Or the 2nd part of the SKZ!Pack Prequel Series!

Tags: SKZ, Stray Kids, SKZ!pack, SKZ!abo, a/b/o/, alpha beta omega, poly!skz, ot8, ot8 x you, ot8 x reader, SKZ x you, skz x reader, Bang Chan, Lee Minho, Seo Changbin, Han Jisung, Hwang Hyunjin, Kim Seungmin, Lee Felix, Yang Jeongin, Changbin x you, Changbin x reader, fluff, skz fluf, prequel

Genre: Nothing but fluff

Title: Killing, Stalking

Changbin is-fine-you guess. 

Even though his smoky scent burns your throat a little bit and makes your eyes water, and he comes off as somewhat awkward and a bit stern, you still manage to get away from that first uncomfortable meeting (damn you Hwang Hyunjin) somewhat unscathed, which is usually an anomaly when two strange alphas are meeting for the first time, let alone in a shared omega’s space. 

So yeah, you meet Seo Changbin, your secret crush’s weird “not boyfriend, but kind of boyfriend” and that’s that. 

Hyunjin isn’t due for another heat for six months, and Changbin is back in town regardless, and now you’ll never have to deal with alpha ‘not boyfriend’, or that, ever again. 

You can go back to sitting next to Hyunjin every week in your micro lab and secretly sneaking glances at him from the corner of your eye and harboring your weird little obsession and no one will be none the wiser. Everything will go back to normal.

Right? 

Wrong. 

Because suddenly, after meeting Changbin, you’re seeing him everywhere. 

Maybe you’re just paranoid, maybe your wolf hasn’t quite dropped the idea that Changbin secretly wants to murder you in some archaic, primal way after seeing you with his omega, but whatever it is, you’re almost positive it’s not all in your head. 

Because the scent of smoke lingers, and you’re fairly certain you’ve caught glimpses of the other alpha leaving the library just as you arrive, or darting onto the bus back to the dorms and out of sight before you can turn the corner to the bus stop. 

It’s all a little weird, and it’s got you on edge, and so, when you’re pretty sure you just caught a glimpse of Changbin lurking outside of the physical sciences building before your lab, nose in a book, eyes definitely on you, you decide enough is enough. 

Your wolf growls-low and dangerous-in agreement.

Maybe you are crazy, or maybe you’re not, but regardless, maybe a certain omega can help shed some light on the subject. 

So when you slide into your seat next to Hyunjin that morning, you ignore his preliminary greeting, and get right to the point. 

“I think your boyfriend is stalking me.” 

Hyunjin’s eyes go ridiculously wide and you resist the urge to get lost in the black of his pupils, resist the urge to coo over how cute it is when his full lips go into a surprised little ‘o’, dark lashes fanned across the tan skin of his cheeks. 

“What?” 

You lean toward him and dump your pencil case onto the desk between the two of you, holding his gaze as you repeat the words, slower this time, for emphasis. 

“Your boyfriend is stalking me. I think he wants to kill me.” 

You’re only halfway joking. 

Hyunjin scoffs now, rolling his eyes and brushing long dark hair back into the messy ponytail at the nape of his neck. 

You stifle down the urge to tangle your fingers into the soft strands. 

“What’s got you so paranoid?” 

You don’t appreciate his obvious sarcasm, the obvious lilt to his tone, and you say as much by reaching out and pinching his side, hard, between your fingers. 

Hyunjin yelps and flinches away from you, glaring at you as he rubs the offended skin beneath his palm. 

“I’m not kidding. Ever since you forced us to meet, I’ve been seeing him everywhere. Like. Everywhere.” 

Hyunjin shrugs.

 “I mean. He’s a student here too. Odds are pretty good you’d see him around campus. And he’s an alpha, so you guys have the same dorm building.” Something amused flashes across Hyunjin’s gaze, and he reaches out to snag one of your discarded pencils, tapping it along the table top in some sort of nonsensical pattern as he thinks. “Also, he’s a music major. He’s bound to hang around the music department a lot.” 

“Hyunjin! I’m a biology major!” 

The pencil stops tapping.

“Oh. Hm.” 

You sigh in outright exasperation and steal your pencil back from between his fingers, ignoring the pout he throws your way. 

“Seriously though. Can you tell him to knock it off? I’m so on edge I spilled my americano on the bus this morning when an old lady brushed my arm standing up, and I’m a poor starving college student. Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know!” 

Hyunjin smirks at you and cocks an eyebrow, only serving to infuriate you further. 

You reach out and smack his upper arm and he yelps once more, rubbing at the reddening skin as his pout deepens. 

“Yah, seriously?” 

“Seriously.” You repeat back, tone brooking no argument, as you point the pencil menacingly in his direction. “Tell your boyfriend to back off, Hwang Hyunjin, or I’ll be forced to take drastic measures.” 

“Like what?” Hyunjin looks entirely too smug with this conversation, leaning forward and resting his chin in his palms, batting his eyes at you, the perfect picture of rapt attention. “What are you gonna do to him, (Y/N), tell me.” 

Without blinking an eye, you lean forward and snap your teeth at him. 

The omega wobbles briefly in his chair, caught off guard. 

“I’ll murder his favorite omega.” 

Hyunjin tsks, sitting back now and crossing his arms over his chest, the picture of a petulant child. 

“First off, I’m not his omega. Secondly, he’s not my boyfriend, you brat.” 

You leap forward and rap him on the head, and Hyunjin squawks. 

“Yah, I’m older than you, Hwang Hyunjin, don’t forget that.” 

Hyunjin rolls his eyes. 

“Now.” You settle back in your seat, finally digging in your backpack for your notebook, glancing to the board for today’s instructions. You shoot Hyunjin a withering glare as you reach for another pencil. “Call off your guard dog, and maybe, I’ll let you cheat off of me for the final.” 

Hyunjin visibly brightens, metaphorical ears perking, and then he’s whipping out his phone, and you don’t want to make a show, but you covertly try to breathe through your nose as the air fills with the unmistakable smell of bright, tart lemons. 

Inside, your wolf, traitor that it is, is violently wagging its tail. 

*******

The next time you see Seo Changbin, you’re in the library, parked in the middle of a table, books strewn about, desperately trying to grasp the concept of Homeostasis and Regulation, your study partner clearly fed up with your obvious inability to be anything less than stupid. 

“I can’t, Minnie, it doesn’t make sense.” 

You’re whining, you know it, and the scent of frosty pine hovering in the air spikes significantly. 

The beta sitting across from you sighs in a long suffering sort of way and you don’t miss the way his nostrils flare at the fresh wave of your scent, covertly reaching up to brush at his nose with the sleeve of his sweater. 

“Focus, (Y/N). You need to force yourself to understand. Let’s go over the diagram again.” 

You groan and let your head drop to the table with a heavy thud. 

Your entire body is tired-limbs, head, eyes, brain-and the thought of having to go over the assignment again, with Seungmin as your annoyed, but patient, tutor, has you practically shuddering in your seat. 

“God, you’re whiny today.” 

You muster up enough strength to lift your head slightly, shooting the beta a glare, now watching you with slight amusement, arms crossed over his chest, and then complain halfheartedly, “I haven’t been sleeping well. And this class is going to be the death of me.” 

Seungmin tsks beneath his breath, reaching out to straighten his papers and pencils just so, and you briefly wonder if he’s ever been screened for OCD-or maybe just for neurotic tendencies in general, because that’s the only obvious explanation for how easy he’s grasping all of this. 

“Remind me again why you’re a biology major then?” 

You want to quip back something witty, but his scent washes over you-warm and ginger and citrus-and suddenly you’re feeling so much more tired than before. 

Betas really are the stress relief lotion of the subgender world, huh? 

“I’m done for tonight.” You announce suddenly, sitting up with a struggle, as you begin to haphazardly shove papers and books and pens into your open backpack. 

Seungmin watches your chaos from across the table with thinly veiled distaste. 

“You’re gonna fail you know.” 

You glance over at him and offer him your brightest, most innocent, dazzling smile. 

“No way. That’s why I have the best study buddy in the world right here, right Minnie?”

Your tone is wheedling, and makes Seungmin do nothing but roll his eyes heavily in response. 

You sigh and drop the act, hoping he can sense your desperation. 

“C’mon, Minnie. Just for tonight? I promise I’ll return tomorrow with renewed hope and even more diligent effort.” 

Seungmin watches you blankly for a moment, unconvinced, and then he sighs, and you know you’ve won. 

He begins to carefully file away his pencils into their color coded case. 

“Fine. But just know, if you have to retake this class, I won’t be joining you. You’re on your own.” 

“Yes! Okay!” You’re giddy with the thought of going back to the dorm, almost dizzy with the idea of falling into your bed, going to sleep, emptying your brain. You fist pump and shove the rest of your supplies into your bag. “Thank you, Minnie. Have I ever told you I love you?” 

“No. And please don’t.” The beta grumbles under his breath, sliding his books neatly, one by one, into the recesses of his backpack. 

You’re jamming the last of your heavy textbooks into the already protesting backpack, humming some nonsensical song beneath your breath, when a whiff of smoke assaults your senses. 

You choke on your spit, caught off guard, and begin a violently coughing fit. 

Seungmin watches you passively from across the table, entirely unimpressed. 

You glance around the almost deserted library-it is almost 1 am-and feel like you’re in the beginning scenes of a horror movie. 

That’s when you see him, sitting at a far table, apparently reading, but you know better, can feel the way he sneaks in quick glances at you when he thinks you’re not looking. 

You scrabble around the table and effectively take up hiding behind Seungmin. 

“Minnie. We gotta go.” 

He hums under his breath, entirely unhurried, as he starts to file away his notes-color coded and marked for convenience obviously. 

“I know. You already said that.” 

“No!” You hiss out beneath your breath, crouched down behind him like some kind deflated balloon man, fingers plucking desperately at the edge of his sleeve. “Like now.” 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” The beta finally turns to glance down at you, eyebrow cocked, lips pulled into a thin line, as if he can’t believe you’re actually hiding behind him, using him as a human shield for god knows what. “If this is some weird alpha rut thing-” “What? Ew. No.” Your tone loses some of its breathlessness at his statement, leveling him with a hard, pointed stare. “That’s not-” You huff out a sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose between your fingers. “We don’t have time right now for me to tell you how entirely wrong you are, but later-” 

The smell of smoke intensifies, and your eyes dart to the figure of the lone alpha, standing from the table to stretch and shove books into his bag. 

“Minnie.” You whine, tugging at him again, as he finally finishes putting every color of highlighter into their respective pouches. “Please?” 

“I’m not moving from this table until you tell me what’s wrong with you and if you need a doctor.” 

You heave a sigh and Seungmin offers you a blank look, clearly waiting. 

“Fine.” You grumble out, still crouched behind the shelter of his chair. If you weren’t practically sitting on your haunches right now, you probably would have angrily stomped your foot in frustration. “See that guy over there?” 

Seungmin follows your line of sight and his uninterested gaze falls on Changbin, now shucking on his coat in preparation to meet the cold winter air outside. 

“Obviously.” 

You resist the urge to pinch the beta’s side and settle for rolling your eyes instead. 

“Apparently he’s like Hwang Hyunjin’s boyfriend or not boyfriend or something? I dunno the specifics, and I didn’t ask, but-” “Wait, wait, wait.” Seungmin interrupts you, finally a shred of interest coming to life in the dark recesses of his eyes at the mention of a certain omega. 

A smirk lifts the corner of his lips, and you suddenly regret everything. 

“The Hwang Hyunjin? Your omega lab partner from micro? The one that you have a ridiculously, huge, asinine, creepy secretive crush on? The one that you helped through his heat, as ‘friends’, just ‘bros being bros’-that Hwang Hyunjin?” You don’t appreciate the way he’s practically gleeful now. 

“Yes, that Hwang Hyunjin!” You hiss out from between clenched teeth, eyes darting to Changbin, and then back to the overly smug beta. “How many Hwang Hyunjins do you know?” 

Seungmin shrugs, entirely nonplussed, but finally lets you drag him to his feet and shepherd him toward the door-the door opposite the one closest to a certain Seo Changbin. 

“Move your feet, dumbass.” You grit out, as Seungmin seems to do everything in his power to staunch your forward progress, glancing over his shoulder pointedly, openly curious now, at the other alpha, still gathering up his things. 

“Okay, so that’s your secret lover’s not so secret lover. Still doesn’t explain why you’re literally hiding behind me like a cat who’s just seen the garden hose.” 

“Okay, first off-” You manage to shove the two of you through the revolving turnstile, backpacks and all, and are only a little out of breath. “-I resent that metaphor. Secondly-”

 You almost trip over your own feet in your hurry to get down the stairs, Seungmin dragging at a leisurely pace behind you. 

“-Hyunjin made us meet, in person, to like, make us friends or something, I guess? And the initial meeting was fine, but now I’m running into this guy everywhere, and I literally think he’s stalking me at this point, because we don’t have that many things in common, let alone classes, and so the only logical explanation is he’s scoping me out, biding his time, waiting for the right moment to murder me and dump my body in the lake because obviously, I helped Hyunjin, and Hyunjin is his, and now he’s out to get me-” 

You’re out into the crisp late night air now, and your breath puffs in little clouds as you turn to face Seungmin, who has stopped dead in his tracks, feet like lead weights.

He’s staring at you with something akin to growing horror. 

“What?” You ask, suddenly defensive, tugging your coat around yourself as you try to hold his increasingly judgment filled gaze. 

 “So you do need a doctor.” He finally says, stuffing his hands deep into the pockets of his coat, eying you almost warily. “Just not a medical one.” 

You roll your eyes so hard you’re sure he can hear them rattling in your head. 

“Okay, it sounds a little crazy-” 

“Oh my god. A little?” Seungmin huffs, disbelief clear in his usually flat tone, eyes boring into yours. 

You bristle at his words and your wolf growls, still worked up by the lingering scent of campfire in the air.  

“Okay, so maybe a lot, but seriously-” 

Seungmin throws his hands up in the air in exasperation and looks to the sky, up at the crescent moon, as if he’s asking someone, anyone, for strength. 

“So you formed all of this-this idea-off of the fact that you’re seeing this guy-this guy who you didn’t know before, mind you-around campus more, studying at the library, god forbid, at the same time as us, when he literally goes to this school, you literally share the same dorm, and he’s literally dating your lab partner? Oh my god, (Y/N). I’m going to kill you.” 

You stand there, suddenly sheepish, and the anger cools almost immediately in the face of frost. 

“I-” You rub the back of your neck and avoid his gaze. “-okay, it sounds stupid.” 

“Damn right it does.” Seungmin mumbles, though there’s no real edge to his voice. “Now, can we please go home? I’m cold and tired as hell from trying to teach your dumb ass homostasis all night.” 

You stick your tongue out at him and he leaps forward to mime grabbing it, even though you both know your reflexes are too fast to allow him to get even close. 

“Fine.” 

You link your arm through his, even though he protests, and trudge down the snow lined sidewalk toward the bus stop. 

You’d never tell Seungmin, but you swear, once the beta boards his bus and you board your own, that a waft of smoke follows you all the way back to the dorms. 

You make sure to lock your door. 

******

You’re sitting at a table outside the campus coffee shop, enjoying the weak winter sunlight, sipping an americano, when the right moment arrives. 

A shadow slips across the sun, and you glance up from your phone, where you’re currently involved in a heated meme battle with Hyunjin, to see Changbin standing in front of you, looking entirely out of place and a lot more awkward than you remembered. 

You promptly choke on your coffee and nearly drop your phone. 

“Shit, man.” You splutter out, hurriedly reaching for a napkin as you begin to desperately wipe at the coffee stains now splattering the front of your white button down shirt. 

Curse today of all days for being the one day you had to wear formal attire for a class presentation. 

Chanbin, to his credit, looks slightly remorseful, though you can’t tell if it’s because he scared you senseless or because he’s having to watch the current shitshow that’s unfolding before him with his own two eyes. 

“Sorry.” He rubs at the back of his neck and shifts from one foot to the other in obvious discomfort, before he asks, pointing to the empty chair across from you, “Can I sit?” 

Still coughing slightly, still messily wiping at the front of your shirt, you motion to the chair impatiently without another glance. 

Well, today’s as good a day to die as any, you guess. 

You eye him warily from across the safety of the table as he slides his frame into the uncomfortable wiring of the chair, noting slightly the way his biceps bulge beneath the thin fabric of his muscle tee. 

Hyunjin obviously likes a guy who goes to the gym, and you can’t say you blame him. 

“Um-” Changbin falters, stumbling over his words, and you sit back, watching him in silence, not willing to help him a bit, and also taking the opportunity of silence on your end to study him a bit more. 

He’s good looking-blunt, square features, muscular body, dark bangs soft and touseled against his forehead-and he doesn’t look like he’s hiding a knife-a murder weapon-somewhere on his person, but you’ve been wrong before, so it’s better to stay alert, just in case. 

“Listen, I-” Changbin clears his throat, trying again, and shifts in the chair, and your eyes are briefly drawn to the way his tan skin brushes against the cold, crisp lines of the wire backing. 

He’s not even wearing a coat. 

So Hyunjin’s type is not only strong, but strong and dumb. 

Respect. 

The silence becomes too much, his fingers tapping nervously on the table, your coffee growing cold in your hand, the strong scent of smoke intermingling with the cold smell of frost, both sharp and bitter and souring quickly. 

You decide it’s time to up the ante, face the beast, if you will. 

“Are you going to kill me?”

Changbin’s mouth drops open so fast that you’re surprised the hinges of his jaw don’t snap in the process. 

“What?” 

You warily eye him over the rim of your cup, going in for another careful, slow sip. Don’t want a repeat of last time. 

God, no wonder Hyunjin likes him. 

He’s pretty and stupid and altogether kind of cute, sitting there staring at you, gaping, like a fish out of water.

 Not to mention, he looks like he could bench press both you and Hyunjin’s weight combined.

You tap your finger on the table in rhythm with your words. 

“Seo Changbin. Are. You. Here. To. Kill. Me.” 

His mouth is still hanging open, and you resist the urge to sit forward and close it with a finger beneath his chin. 

His jawline is as chiseled as the Appalachian Mountains, and you bet it’d feel like granite beneath your fingertip. 

“Why-” He seems to be struggling, his brain trying to catch up, and you can physically see the confusion, the wheels turning, inside his head, eyes dark and wide. “-Why would you think that?” 

You snort and shoot him a look full of open exasperation. 

“You’ve literally been stalking me. What else was I supposed to think? Usually when someone stalks you, their intentions aren’t purely ambiguous.” 

“I wasn’t-” Changbin looks entirely caught off guard again, lips parting, and you almost think he’s going to gape some more, as if he hasn’t done enough of that in the last five minutes already, but instead, he groans with obvious agitation, scrubbing at his face with his hands. “I wasn’t stalking you!” 

You arch a brow and wait, because clearly, you can’t believe otherwise unless he gives you another explanation, and so far, Seo Changbin hasn’t given you a whole lot of anything other than a pretty decent impression of a goldfish. 

“I was just-” The alpha across from you stutters to a halt once more, clearly frustrated. “Look, I’m not good at this okay?” 

Something in his vague, but entirely honest statement, lures you back into the conversation. 

“Good at what?” 

“Okay first off-” He waves a sudden finger in your direction, eyes suddenly wild and a tiny bit defensive. “I wasn’t stalking, I was lurking-” 

You snort again. “Not much difference there if I’m honest, buddy.” 

Changbin levels you with a glare and you shut up, almost eager to hear what he has to say next. 

You can’t wait to hear the explanation on this one. 

“And secondly, I just-” He rubs at the back of his neck again, a nervous motion that he obviously does subconsciously, and you offhandedly wonder if the skin is raw yet. 

A muscle in his jaw ticks, as if he’s working himself up to whatever he wants to say next, and it only serves to pique your curiosity, your eyes drawn to the miniscule movement. 

That and damn, did you mention, Seo Changbin is just kind of so ridiculously good looking that it makes your mouth water? 

It should be illegal honestly. 

You’re even getting used to the smell of smoke, now almost raging into the burning scent of a forest fire, that fills the air. 

You can’t say as much for the omegas sitting at the table next to you, judging by their hurried, curious glances in your direction. 

Changbin sighs-long, heavy, accepting-and then he swallows, hard enough to be audible, and opens his mouth. 

“I wanted to get to know you better.” 

It’s your turn to catch flies as your mouth falls open abruptly. 

That’s honestly the last thing you expected to hear from the mouth of the obviously uncomfortable alpha sitting across from you. 

“What?” 

Changbin huffs out something between an exasperated sigh and a humorless chuckle and sits back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest. 

You try not to get too distracted by the way the move makes his biceps bulge, or the way his pecs flex in response. 

“Yeah, I mean, I can totally see now how-” He eyes you pointedly, lips almost curving into the start of a sardonic smile. “-’lurking’-” You roll your eyes. “-wasn’t the best way to go about it, but I really was just interested in you-everything about you, really-ever since Hyunjin introduced us.” 

There is not currently a coherent brain in your head. 

“Wait, so you-” You hedge out, picking at the table cloth now, suddenly unable to meet his gaze in your shock and encroaching humiliation. “-weren’t mad?” 

Changbin laughs, the sound full of disbelief. 

“Mad about what?” 

You glance up, and something akin to understanding suddenly washes across his gaze at your very obvious ‘figure it out sherlock, shit’s not hard’ expression. 

“Oh. Oh.” He breathes out, and you can see the wheels turning again, connecting all the pieces. “You mean Hyunjin, right?” 

God. You may be dumb and more than a little bit paranoid, but Seo Changbin is just as stupid, maybe even more so. 

“Of course I mean Hyunjin.” You blurt out, disbelief bleeding into open annoyance, carried across in your sharp words. 

Changbin laughs again, and maddeningly, this time, he doesn’t sound anything but utterly gleeful, if not a little delighted. 

You instantly pout. 

“No, no, sorry.” He waves his hand at you, almost breathless because of the laughter, though you fail to see what’s funny, and swipes at a few mirthful tears that have gathered in the corners of his eyes. “I just-you thought-Hyunjinnnie and me-?” 

“Well duh.” You exclaim, hands going wide, as if to make him see the whole picture. 

That, and you’re just annoyed now at his continued laughter at your expense. 

“Shit, man. Do the two of you even hear yourselves? You just called him ‘hyunjinnie’ and don’t even get me started on the pet names Hyunjin uses for you when you’re not around and then there’s the whole ‘just helping each other out when biology calls’ bullshit, and everybody knows that’s so obviously just an excuse, like c’mon, maybe the oldest one in the book even, and god, even the way the two of you look at each other is openly disgusting enough to make me want to vomit.” 

Changbin has grown silent now, and something inside of you preens at effectively shutting him up. 

The other, more major part of you is caught entirely off guard by his obvious and sudden “deer in the headlights” expression. 

He looks shell shocked. 

“Wait-Hyunjin calls me pet names?” He openly chokes over the statement, and his skin-once bronzed like a greek god-is looking more than a little green. Okay, so maybe Changbin is a whole lot more stupid then you first gave him credit for. 

That, and absolutely oblivious. 

You silently add that to the growing list of adjectives you’re using to mentally describe him in your head. 

Mouthwateringly Hot. Check. 

Dumb AF. Check.

Rippling with muscles. Check. 

Startlingly Stupid. Check. 

Absolutely, infuriatingly, oblivious? Check. 

Changbin is still staring at you in shocked silence, so you pull yourself away from your list, and return his stare right back, one eyebrow cocked. 

“Seriously? How are you this dumb?” 

At your blunt words, Changbin promptly chokes on his spit.

You wordlessly slide the rest of your now very cold americano across the table toward him, a peace offering of sorts, or maybe just a way to end his very obvious misery. 

His fist closes around the mug and without so much as a word, he downs the offered drink in one fell swoop that under any other circumstances might have been impressive, but right now, when he’s currently having an existential crisis over his “not boyfriend,” just comes off as little more than desperate. 

You wait until he’s cleared his throat and his face has gone a little less red, and then you sit back in your chair with a smirk. 

“You really didn’t know, huh?” 

Changbin glowers at you, though it doesn’t quite have the effect he’s wanting, currently clutching your empty mug like it's a lifeline, his lost breath still not quite caught. 

You whistle under your breath, and openly tsk at him. 

“Damn, baby, you certainly came off as the kind of thick musclehead type in our first and only meeting, but I gotta say, even with my limited knowledge, this is embarrassing, even for you.” 

Changbin sighs in annoyance, and your smirk grows. 

“Congrats. You’ve made your point. I’m obviously bad with feelings, okay? Otherwise, I wouldn’t have just lurked around until I finally got up the courage to ask you out.” 

“Stalked.” You correct innocently, with a sweetly saccharine smile, earning yourself another glare from Changbin in the process. 

“Whatever.” 

“So,” You sit back, taking pity on him, content for now to deal with the whole ‘how did you not know your friends with benefits was actually more than a friend’ conversation later. “Is this you asking me out then?” 

Changbin’s ears go pink at your forward statement-it’s frankly adorable, and you resist the urge to audibly coo-but he nods regardless. 

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Okay.” 

He looks shocked, and you think it’s becoming a permanent expression on his features at this point. 

“Okay?” 

“Yeah. Okay.” You repeat, pulling out your phone and sliding it across the table to him with an amused smile. “But please, for the love of god, give me your number this time, so we can communicate normally, instead of one of us stalking the other and meeting up unexpectedly at a coffee shop where I think you’re going to kill me.” 

Changbin rolls his eyes, but takes the offered phone anyway, typing in his contact information. 

Something inside of you is giddy to see that he has added a little standing man emoji next to his name when he hands it back. 

Progress, you think, and your wolf purrs at the scent of campfire-suddenly no longer irritating, and a little more comforting. 

“You should know-” You say offhandedly, as you casually stuff your notebook into your backpack and gather up your things, noting the time before your next class. “-the thing with Hyunjin? It’s not usually like that. I don’t usually make it a habit to put out on the first date-minimum rule is usually three-so don’t think you’re gonna get lucky.” 

Changbin chokes for what feels like the fifth time in as many minutes, and you can’t help the laugh that bubbles past your lips at the sight of the red blush creeping slowly but steadily up his neck at your blunt words. 

“What-I didn’t-I don’t think-” 

You grin at him, shooting him a text so he can save your number, and his phone dings loudly in the flustered silence between the two of you.

He glances down at his phone, and his eyes scan your message, which simply says, ‘hey stalker 😘’ before he shoots you another halfhearted glare. 

It doesn’t land, considering he looks more like a vine ripened tomato currently than a scary alpha predator. 

“Lucky for you, alpha-” You let the word slip off your tongue in a purr, leaning toward him, and in a bold move, brush an errant strand of hair from his eyes, fingers featherlight and nothing more than a moment as they come in contact with the warmth of his skin. 

The scent of smoke spikes considerably, and you bite back a self satisfied smirk behind your teeth. 

You keep your expression neutrally blank as you regard him easily. 

“-I’m counting this whole misunderstanding as our first date so-” You shrug nonchalantly, and shoot him a lazy wink, before you stuff your phone into your bag and turn to walk away. “-only two more to go..” 

You don’t have to look to know Changbin chokes, the stuttered cough serving to confirm your suspicions. 

You grin to yourself, but don’t look back, giving a blind little wave in his general direction, entirely too smug. 

“See you around, Seo Changbin. Don’t wait too long to confess to a certain omega we both know.” 

He must have gotten his second wind, because you promptly hear his annoyed voice call out over the distance between the two of you, startling some of your unfortunate classmates with the volume-

“I’ll confess when you do!” 

You turn around, walking backward, smirk no longer hidden, and give him another little dismissive wave with your fingers before you yell back, miming thoughtfulness-

“Confessing is like a fifth date thing. Minimum.” 

“Bet.” 

Changbin grins now, the first time you’ve seen him completely at ease since he first sat down, and something inside of you flutters, stupid and vulnerable and giddy, at the sight of the lazy grin, stretching to reveal perfectly straight, white teeth. 

Dammit, Changbin is pretty. 

Maybe Seungmin is right, maybe this is some weird alpha rut thing. 

You put a hand to your forehead, just to check for fever, to be sure. 

Nope. Cool to the touch. 

And your wolf is still turning happy circles deep within the hidden confines of your chest. 

This time, he’s the one who gives you a little wave as you turn back around,and you promptly hide your ensuing smile in the collar of your jacket and tell yourself it’s just because the brisk winter wind has suddenly picked up. 

Definitely not because of the alpha standing behind you, still watching you go, and definitely not because of a certain Hwang Hyunjin and his stupid omega instincts. 

Damn him. 

Your phone dings in your pocket, and you dig around until you find it, holding up the screen to squint at the text message in the weak afternoon sunlight. 

‘Is it still considered ‘lurking’ if I tell you I’m openly watching you walk away and that you have a fantastic ass? 👀🍑’

You grin and stuff your phone back into your pocket. 

Inside, your wolf purrs. 

************************************************************************

💗Taglist: @hosh1kwon @carolinexkpop @blithevix @sunabokuto @illicee @maddmartian @rejem @xwinchesterprincessx @ley-lani59 @shimmeringmoons @rosegaming117 @meivida @sai-kida134 @cutecucumberkimberly @aroseharder @spideyweirdo @coureurs-de-bois9

[hh0320]

𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥;

part three of the velvet opiate series. part one, part two.

pairing: rockstar! hyunjin x reader (+ minho, felix, chan)

word count: 4.6k

genre: visual gothic rock band, romance, dark smut, hurt/comfort, toxic skz, set in the late 90’s-early 00’s.

warnings: profanity, mature themes, drug & alcohol abuse, foursome, unprotected sex, filthy talk, light bdsm play, light sadism.

🏷: @ughbehavior, @cb97percent, @svintsandghosts.

tunes: radiohead (go slowly), mareux (the perfect girl).

Recordings for the new album lasted for a month and a half.

In those forty five days, none of them could move an inch away from the studio, without Joon breathing down their neck, threatening to kick them out the band. Some nights they would sleep in there, dreaming of riffs, and melodies.

Felix had lyrics. But lyrics were nothing but pretty poetry without the music, and Velvet Opiate were not looking to sell books—Chan was very aware of that.

He hadn’t been sleeping properly, if at all. Notes came to him organically, he could get inspired by anything, had a natural talent in song making, and got paid good money to keep it up—yet, he was fucked.

They needed a title track, and all they’d made so far were B sides. And it was on him. It was his fault, because he was so busy running around saving his band mates from themselves, that he’d had no time to sit down and produce. The one thing that was truly of any significance, for them, but to him, especially, solely.

Bang Chan had his music, entirely. Without it, he was just an entitled clown with a drum kit. The company needed a title track, and he’d provide, even if it killed him.

Nothing else mattered.

“From the top!”

The four of them inwardly groaned, fingers raw, sweat dripping from their hair. That was the fifth time they had to repeat that damn song, and they were fucking sick of it.

“Jail would be better than this,” Felix muttered under his breath, throat dry.

Minho chuckled, discarding his wet, sweaty shirt, bass propped on his thigh. His hair stuck to his forehead, dark circles around his brown eyes; he looked like he’d escaped hell.

Maybe he had, Hyunjin could never tell with his older friend.

“What do you know about jail, sunshine?” The purple haired man asked, sarcastically.

Felix rolled his eyes, a devilish smile on his lips. “I know that I’d drop the soap for you, handsome.”

Minho smirked, leaning forward. “All you gotta do is ask, sweetheart.”

“Please stop flirting, it’s making me fucking nauseous,” Chan interjected, a disgusted look on his face.

Hyunjin laughed, going through the tabs. “D’ you think they’ve already fucked, Bang? The tension is palpable.”

“He wouldn’t be able to handle what I give, doll face,” he concluded with a wink, and Hyunjin shook his head, smiling.

“What are you into these days, anyway? Satanic summonings?” Felix widened his eyes, in emphasis.

“Boys, get serious,” Joon said, through the microphone, on the other side. “Again.”

“Lix, shut the fuck up, before he ties you to a goddamn cross.”

Felix pft’ed, while Hyunjin started playing the intro of the new song. “He wouldn’t—”

“Oh, I would,” Minho warned, staring at the singer. “Careful what you ask for.”

Felix swallowed hard, and started:

‘His eyes were heavy

He carried a gun…’

Minho was bored.

His whole life, it seemed, was a mundane routine of waking up to uneventful days, eat, breathe, piss, fuck, repeat. Such was the mortal existence; to have your little time on earth, and then fuck off to whatever afterworld you believe in.

How mediocre—plain. Lee Minho refused to succumb to the monotonous, the tedious. That is why he joined Velvet, that’s why he is the way he is.

Tragic fucking backstory aside, since who the fuck really cares, Minho won’t blame the orphanage beginnings, or the loveless child trope that he’s carried throughout the years.

Juvie at fourteen, mental rehabilitation institute at sixteen, the freezing streets of the capital when freshly eighteen—could he condemn his bad luck? Ignore the responsibility of his fate?

Minho was many things, indifferent to everything, numb to surprise and pain, but he had a sense of responsibility for his actions—he’d never inconvenience anyone, especially the people he associates with the most, because of his own self destructive tendencies. His personal life was his, and his only.

That was the kind of picture Lee Minho painted. A rational one; a competent, sane person, albeit a little unreliable as a narrator.

Some called him a heartless son of a bitch.

Alas, no one was perfect.

It was well after midnight, a Friday on their second week of recordings, when they spotted the fans they’d been warned about.

They were waiting patiently on the side of the exit door, girls in their early twenties, masks hiding their faces, giddy eyes searching for their beloved artists. Joon had given them black caps, and advised the band to keep their heads low, and wave.

Felix broke first, but he later swears it was only because of their long time fan, and founder of his fan club, holding out a gift for him. He hugged her, and signed some pictures for her next giveaway.

Felix was like that—thoughtless, whimsical. It wasn’t exactly a fault, Minho thought, though Chan had reprimanded him quite a bit for his capricious actions.

That night, Minho had a craving. It was an urge, a thirst he couldn’t shake off. And what Minho wanted, Minho had—absolutely.

His gaze had caught the brunette on the far left of the group. She noticed him looking at her, and lowered her eyes immediately, succumbing to his intense stare.

She’ll break easily. That was fine by him, he wasn’t searching for a challenge, not tonight.

A nudge and a knowing look to his bodyguard, and he entered the van after Hyunjin, who’d nearly ran there.

He texted, ‘and her friend,’ to his not so little helper, and smirked down at the screen, feeling Hyunjin’s curious eyes.

“Fuck me,” the blonde boy rolled his eyes. “Just fucking—keep them quiet, will you? It’s a hotel, not your goddamn torture chamber.”

Minho chuckled sinisterly, watching everyone get in the vehicle. It was somewhat unfortunate he didn’t have his…toys with him, but if he was being honest, his patience had ran thin after all the work stress, and not being able to be at the comfort of his own home.

He just needed…release. And they’d have to fucking do, for now.

“I make no promises, doll face.”

Felix turned to that, confused. “Wait, what?”

“Shit, Minho don’t fucking tell me—” Chan started, annoyed.

Hyunjin snorted, lighting a cigarette. He could hear the girls yelling goodnight’s, and I love you’s, and absentmindedly smiled at the words.

“It’s true,” he mused, crossing his arms over his chest, and leaning back against the seat. “Minho’s gonna bless our ears, and get his dick wet.”

“Charity work, boys. You’re welcome,” the perpetrator finished, amused by the attention he was getting.

Chan groaned, while Felix scrunched his nose, wanting to retaliate.

“We’re gonna get kicked out, again. Fucking watch.”

Hyunjin had gifted Minho a pair of Vivienne Westwood pearl earrings for Christmas. It was her original design, and he’d gotten them as a last minute thing, a thank you for all the times the older boy had covered for his ass to their manager.

Hyunjin would follow Lee Minho inside a burning house. He would, if only to see what invisibility truly was. Minho was deathless, a distant form of a man that got away with everything.

His cunningness, his endearing personality that made you blindly follow him to the edges of the sharpest cliffs—where Hyunjin would free fall, searching for any kind of high, Minho could convince people to jump in his place, manipulate them into thinking they’ll be okay once they reached the bottom.

You had to really know the question mark, to know the fairytales it spewed. And Minho did tell a lot of stories. It depended on the kind of person you were—what you did and did not deserve to find out. For some, dragons have been slayed, princesses rescued—others know of the tales of the cavernous forest; about the tough fight against the darkness, how it stole everything, fed on his soul—

How he lost that soul, and what it cost him in the end.

There were a lot of stories, all of them fake. What was Lee Minho in his essence—a con man, hiding inside a thousand mirrors, each one containing only an echo of the small, scared boy he still was, deep down.

Hyunjin caught a glimpse of those earrings, dangling in the bright lights of the long hall leading to their rooms. Hair shining an intense purple, Minho disappeared behind his door, voice lost and now trapped against the four walls, no doubt a warm greeting to his guests for the night.

Chan was leaning against the railing, smoking one of his rare cigarettes. If nicotine was involved, Bang Chan was fucking stressed. Valid, considering.

“I’m worried about him,” he admitted, running a hand through his silver hair.

Lighter already in hand, Hyunjin copied his band mate. He stood next to him, silent for a while, wondering how could anyone worry about a snake.

The level of danger depends on the kind, but most snakes are adaptable, secretive creatures. They shed their skin when they’ve outgrown it, are reborn stronger, stealthier. A snake cannot truly die. If Hyunjin had to guess, Minho would be a saw-scaled viper, quick to attack, so you never see him coming.

He could survive anything, because he always put himself first. No exceptions, unless specified.

“These walls are paper thin.”

Chan sighed. “I could fucking care less about that, I’ve seen him fuck and get fucked forty different ways. I’m talking about his coping mechanisms—” he lowered his voice, glancing around.

Joon had their entire floor cleared, so it was only the four of them staying there, but some things Velvet Opiate kept close to their heart of hearts, never daring to speak about them out loud. It was an unwritten rule.

“Ever since his accident, her death—he’s never been the same again. I couldn’t possibly know what the fuck he’s thinking now, if I ever did back then.”

It was true. Minho had been in a fatal car accident, a couple years back. He ended up with several broken ribs, a fracture, and a broken leg, but the truck had come into impact with the passenger seat first. His then girlfriend was pronounced dead as soon as the paramedics arrived at the scene.

Perhaps, his most severe wound had been her passing.

The band had gone on hiatus for three months, and Minho didn’t once leave his house during the entire time, except to attend the funeral. And that had been a horrible thing in itself—the freezing cold mask he wore accepting condolences, the ghost that’s followed him ever since.

Lee Minho is the burning house. He’s been in flames ever since he was four years old, and the fire has only grown worse overtime. Hyunjin could only hope he knew how to put himself out before it was too late.

But wasn’t he the same way? Didn’t he also have a time limit—a certain amount of fuck ups before it was game over? What the fuck did he know?

Hyunjin exhaled smoke, nodding at the words his friend had said. “You have to walk through the pitch black darkness, to come through the other side.”

Chan finished his cigarette, shaking his head. “Hyun, he’s fucking drowning. You two are more alike than you think.”

The two boys looked at each other, brown on brown. Hyunjin could see the effort it took for Chan to be this vulnerable about his thoughts—he’s always been the crutch, the lifeboat.

The glue that held everything together.

“Maybe you could pull each other up,” he said, patting Hyunjin’s shoulder, and turning to walk to his room, three doors down.

Hyunjin would follow Lee Minho blind. He mused over the stick between his fingers, slowly turning into ashes, how it would always burn, always reduce itself down to the butt—there was no other outcome, no other way.

Predictable. That’s what Hyunjin was becoming. Inevitable.

He thought of you, and the way your skin felt underneath his own, how your eyes looked up at him with the brightest glint, the angel, the untainted. The holy.

You were probably waiting for him at that bleeding bar, wondering how long until he came back to sweep you off your feet. Tasting him in everything, laying awake panting, dreams of him stuck on your eyelashes. He hoped. He wished.

The damned have their prayers and their credulous hopes.

How expected of him to be this weak. Unsurprising.

What other fucking way does Hwang Hyunjin know, except the dark, thorny one? Except the mud, and the monsters, and the hopeless fight?

There’s only one story for him.

He gets up, knocks on the white door. Pearl Vivienne Westwood earrings greet him, an insouciant Minho blinks at him once, and moves out the way.

Hyunjin enters.

The lighting was dim, atmospheric.

One girl was tied on the headboard, the other on the floor, on her knees waiting, gaze downwards.

Both naked.

Hyunjin momentarily wonders if they were aware of Minho’s sexual preferences. Judging by the girl on the bed, her content face, he decides they probably don’t even care—too happy to be near their favorite idol.

Minho nods over to the vanity desk, thin white lines laid out, a credit card, and a bill next to them. A bottle of whiskey was open, three glasses empty around it.

This was the scene. The car accident, the neon lights, the siren. The death over and over—the self destruction was a suicide. The eventual joining, on the other side.

Hyunjin was familiar with this best of all, because he’d been guilty for it too. Only for him, there would be no rejoicing, no motive. No reason beyond the high.

Minho had moved to the mattress, sitting next to the gagged girl, that had been whimpering and fighting against the restraints. He spoke low to her, almost a whisper; his mouth was sinful, his language filthy.

“How wet is your cunt right now, love? Sprawled like a fucking whore for us. It’s what you wanted, right? To be fucked by a couple rockstars?”

The woman’s thighs rubbed against each other, no doubt aroused by the scenario.

Hyunjin had his eyes set on the submissive one on the floor, though. She had made no move, no sound, ever since he’d entered. She remained perfectly still, deliciously compliant.

He hadn’t used in three weeks. That was a record for him, though he couldn’t entirely put it on himself—everyone’s been micro managing him, monitoring his every move. His phone had been taken from him, all contacts removed.

He hadn’t fought it—he’d actually wanted to give sobriety a try, if for nothing but the sake of the band. But Minho had seen right through him, apparently, had spotted the beast inside Hyunjin, and promised to take care of it.

How expected of him to be this weak. Unsurprising.

Cocaine wasn’t his drug of choice, but anything is food to a starving man. He snorted a line, and rubbed his nose.

Then got close to the girl. Her hair was long and black, a curtain around her face. Hyunjin got on one knee, lifting her chin with his thumb.

Watery eyes stared at him, innocent and willing. Like yours.

“You’re being so quiet, sweetheart. Such a good girl,” he praised, taking in her body.

Perky breasts, tiny figure, hands balled into fists on her thighs. It wouldn’t take long at all—this girl was already broken.

Hyunjin loved broken things. There was no reason to be careful with them, at all. He fisted her hair, inspecting her reaction. She blinked at him, lips parting.

“You know what’s gonna happen, don’t you, pretty girl?”

She nodded weakly, never once breaking eye contact. Oh, she’s fucking done this before alright.

His other hand slapped her cheek, once. Softly, testing the waters. She flinched closer, but there was no pained look, no widening of the eyes. Just plain, unfiltered desire for more.

“Turn around, on your hands and knees,” he ordered, unbuttoning his shirt.

It was a split decision, her mouth opened—

“Can I touch you?” She regretted it as soon as she said it.

The second slap was harder, his palm leaving a red mark on her pale skin. She bit on her lip to keep from crying out, and scurried to get into position, afraid of worse punishment.

Hyunjin had no limit when it came to this—he would take it as far as his partner was willing to go, no second guesses. It was the only thing that gave him control, the only thing that truly gave him pleasure.

Feeling someone physically and mentally submit to him, connecting through inflicting pain on them… he’d been wired that way, it seemed. Violence got him fucking hard, the detachment, the deep emotions of the one receiving—the sweet release. All of it was incredibly arousing.

You had been the only exception, in all his years. With you, he wanted to take his time, defile you slowly, take care of you properly.

You were his angel, untouchable otherwise. You were different.

He pulled this girl by the throat, bringing her back flush against his own naked chest, mouth next to her ear.

“You’re fucking helpless. This is for me, and only me. You better keep fucking quiet, and take it, do you understand?”

She nodded frantically against him.

“Now, what’s your safe word?”

“Burn. It’s burn.”

Burn… This fucking girl.

“A true fan,” Minho commented, amused.

He was fucking the other girl’s mouth, both hands holding her face still. She was struggling to breathe, a slobbering mess, but there was no voice to her.

“I wrote that song, beautiful,” he winked at Hyunjin’s girl, and she blushed, before going back down, position resumed, lesson learned.

“That’s a good fucking girl,” he slapped her ass.

Sliding two fingers in her cunt, he found it soaking wet. Cursing, he fucked her like that for a while, making sure she’d keep to her word and make no noise. Her face was pressed against the carpet, arms barely holding her up.

He grabbed them, holding them behind her back, and removed his fingers. She clenched around the loss, juices running down her milky thighs.

What a fucking slut.

Hyunjin entered her roughly, using her arms to get deeper inside. She screamed, and then apologized immediately, her whole body tensing up, waiting for punishment.

“Didn’t I tell you,” he groaned, drilling into her, “to keep fucking quiet?!”

The girl on the bed was crying by this point, Minho relentlessly pounding her ass, hands still tied, a black scarf covering her eyes. It was like he was deaf to her screams, not present, as his movements quickened, her knees giving way, falling flat on her face, and yet never once shutting the fuck up.

Hyunjin glanced at his friend once, noticing the stoic expression, the hard lines of his mouth. He wasn’t there mentally, he was dissociating. It was what usually happened when Minho was high—he had no restraints, no way to stop, not unless he got what he wanted.

“Get on the bed,” he pulled his girl’s hair, slipping out of her.

She tripped, but did as told. He circled an arm around her waist and placed her right next to the moaning myrtle. The need to gag her was overwhelming, but Hyunjin knew Minho left her like that on purpose. To block his mind; static noise.

He slammed back inside her, cunt now a sloppy mess, lifting her legs over his head. Holding them with one hand, he fucked her brutally, exorcising the thought of you.

Minho stopped, as if awakening suddenly. The girl came hard, spasming violently. He pulled her up by the throat, and bit her shoulder.

“Join them. Let me see you.”

The two women started kissing, completely fucked out, while Hyunjin continued his pounding—close, so fucking close. Eyes shut, you’re there, a vision in black, red all around, getting fucked by him against a wall, like a fucking whore.

His whore. Hyunjin holds you up, your cunt heaven, a church he build to hide inside, praying to your name on his knees. Important, bigger than life, your half naked frame filling his mind, driving him over the edge.

“Burn! Burn! Fucking burn, fuck!”

He spilled inside her, growling, head falling on her stomach. She shook him off, pulling away, wrapping her arms around her knees, exhausted, tears streaming down her face.

You’d hate him for this. But you didn’t understand, yet. He’d make sure you never found out.

“All yours,” he says to Minho, getting off the bed.

“Don’t be scared, kitten,” Minho reasoned with her. “You didn’t think we’d go easy on you, did you?”

Hyunjin quickly slipped into his pants, remaining shirtless. He saw as Minho tamed both women, his voice level and soothing. It’d be a long night.

Pouring himself a drink, he downed it in one go, lines tempting him again. But he could already feel his high, and he really could care less about cocaine, so he left, right as Minho took out a vibrator—

Kinky motherfucker.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Minho called out to him, as the door clicked shut.

For the first time in his life, Hyunjin listened.

Back in his room, he showered off the sex smell, and sat by the window smoking, clad in nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms.

He thought of you. Your scent, your soft hands, the way you reached for him. The way he’d scared you by attacking that scum. It’d been too long since then, and his need to see you, to touch you, only grew stronger.

But his life was a golden cage, and he remained a prisoner. Hyunjin had the least freedom of them all, and he had nothing but his addictions to blame.

Grabbing his guitar, he played through random notes, smoke burning his eyes. His fingers settled over a strumming pattern, and he repeated it, a faint melody coming together.

Hyunjin went through it again, and again, building on it, the music descending on his heart, painful and familiar. Reminiscent of the way you said his name.

He hummed along, and where lyrics failed, they now came to him freely, devastating.

‘I tried counting

Her smiling pain…’

He shot up from his seat, cigarette long forgotten, hanging limply from his mouth, and run out of the room, two doors down. Chan’s door was always open, because he never fucking slept.

He was in front of his equipment, free styling on the keyboard, when Hyunjin burst in and stood in front of him, grinning from ear to ear.

Chan squinted up at him. “Are you high?”

Hyunjin shook his head, guitar in hand. “Never mind that. I got us the title track.”

At that, the silver haired boy’s eyes widened, and he leaned back in his seat, intrigued.

“No shit. Never thought I’d see the day, Hyun.”

It was true. Hyunjin never wrote songs—there’d never been anything inspiring, until he met you. And he was so sure of you, his brave girl, so enamored by what you showed him, by what he felt.

“It’s called Knife.”

Chan gestured for him to sit on the bed. “Let’s hear it.”

Hyunjin played.

It was a bit past four in the morning, when Minho’s groupies left. Disheveled, and bruised, shoes in hand, they tiptoed to the elevator like thieves, giggling to themselves.

Hyunjin and Chan were taking a break out in the hall, and watched as they let out similar high pitched screams when they noticed them there.

The black haired one screamed, “I love you Bang Chan!” She looked drunk.

Chan chuckled, waving at her. “What’d he do to them?”

“You want the politically correct answer to that?” Hyunjin asked, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Never mind.”

They both looked down at the lobby, and met the security guard’s gaze, as the two women passed by him. He probably thought, fucking rockstars, thinking they can do whatever the fuck they want, and he’d be right.

Sometimes they did the most excessive shit for the hell of it. Money and fame gave them the right to do so. What was a hotel’s security guard going to do about it?

Look the other way. They all did.

“What the fuck are you looking at, asshole?” Chan provoked him.

Hyunjin smirked, elbows resting on the railing, letting the scene unroll before him.

“Go back to your rooms,” the guard told him, scowling.

Chan scoffed, laughing humorlessly. “And what if we don’t, tough guy? Are you gonna spank us?”

At that, Hyunjin snorted. Chan had the worst temper of the four, and he loved getting riled up. Shit talking was his favorite pastime, only second to making music.

They had only gotten kicked out of a hotel twice before; once when Minho’s birthday orgy got out of control, and then back when they first became well known, for vandalism. That’d been Hyunjin’s fault—he’d been high as a fucking kite, and decided trashing his room and knocking on every door of his floor, screaming lyrics from their debut song was a great idea.

He got arrested for private nuisance, and fined three thousand dollars for destroying property. He’d barely made it to their first concert in America, and Joon was mad at him for a month after that.

He hoped this wouldn’t be the third, but did nothing to prevent it from happening.

The guy talked in his walkie-talkie, no doubt requesting back up. Hyunjin doubted he’d need extra men, but then again, Chan was known to be unpredictable when messed with.

“What a little bitch. Do you need me to show you, fuckface? Have you ever properly fucked a woman before?”

The receptionist came into view, looking up at them. “Sir, I advise you to calm down, or we’ll have to call the police. Please go back to your rooms, or you’ll be escorted out of the premises.”

Right on time, Minho and Felix came out, curious faces staring at their band mates. Hyunjin sighed, tugging on Chan’s sleeve.

“Do you really have to start shit, Bang? This hotel’s been pretty flexible with us.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Felix asked, rubbing his eyes, looking down at the lobby.

“I’m calling Joon. Chan, fucking calm it, before we’re front page news again,” Minho warned, opening his flip phone.

Chan hit Hyunjin in the back, taking a deep breath, and nodding at Minho.

“You’re right. But let me just—fuck you!” He shouted to the guard, a maniacal smile on his lips.

“Okay, I’m done. Fuck, that felt good.”

Felix laughed, following him to his room. “Fucking Bang Chan…”

Hyunjin stayed behind with Minho, who was on the phone with their manager, explaining the situation.

“So much for laying low,” Hyunjin mocked Chan’s words from earlier that month.

Minho smirked. “We’re Velvet fucking Opiate, doll face. We don’t lay low.”

The blonde smirked back, and put his arm around the older’s shoulders. “Sounds about fucking right, honey.”

“I wrote a song, by the way!”

“About fucking time. We all just thought you’d be a pretty face forever.”

“Fuck you, Lee.”

“Next foursome, doll.”

A week later, the new publication for ‘Nicola’ magazine was out. It was the go to for every teenager in Japan, and Velvet Opiate had been a regular issue on their pages, mainly for their fashion appearances, and hot gossip.

This time it was the latter.

The title read as such: ‘Velvet Opiate fans confess—we slept with the band! EXCLUSIVE’

“Guys!” Joon yelled, reading through the article anxiously.

The band gathered around their manager, peaking at the magazine, curious.

“Fuck,” all four collectively exclaimed.

They were in deep shit.

[bearseungmin]

always ask, never wish.

You had noticed it: the change in energy, his lingering eyes, sharp tongue and deep voice. Felix, your happy-go-lucky college roommate who never failed to shine a smile at anyone, was never like that before. The summer had changed him, Felix was no longer with you. And now you have to survive an entire semester with whatever he has become.

DETAILS — [ 18+ | fic | 5k ] PAIRING — void! felix x gender-neutral! reader GENRES — nogitsune! au, college! au, psychological thriller, romance, supernatural, horror, angst, smut, slight slow burn WARNINGS — mature content & suggestive content, possession, nightmares, mentions of insomnia, insects (fireflies), physical altercations, blood + injuries, drowning, virginity loss, & dimension shifting do not interact with this if under 18. this fic is based off the tv series ‘Teen Wolf’ (season 3)!!! part of my strange devotion halloween skz collab!!!

[taglist]: @sleepylixie @dom--minnie @aliceu @lixesque @jaerisdiction @fairygirl18​ @doie-sun

prologue.

It was trial and tribulation. Shadows held the scariest things: beings, creatures, whatever considered most frightening. The temptation of the darkness had surpassed him so many times.

But it was the blood-curdling voice echoing from those very shadows, the name whispered that had him halting in place, and the deal to be dealt that led him to decide his own fate.

The summer had swallowed him, melting heat bringing sweat to his skin. Hair matted down to his scalp, eyes shifting along the patterns made by the moonlight above, he had no moves to play here.

"What do I have to do?" The question didn't bring chills to his quickly cooling skin, but the answer did.

"Lend me a hand." Claiming voice, chattering teeth, and a now stone cold room to accommodate the situation. "Lend me a limb. Lend me your brain."

His breath caught in his throat, a sorrowed look in his eyes.

"Lend me your shadow."

one.

The familiar sound of door hinges squeaking brought your eyes to clench shut. "Glad some things didn't change." Your whispered voice laughed, eyes engulfing the comfortingly small kitchen as you entered into the dorm.

Nearly four months of freedom diminished, the school year lapped back into your daily schedule. Studying for exams was horrid, and the college curriculum was overbearing. Majors and minors caging you inside to learn everything you can only to forget it all the moment the test was at your fingers. Late nights reading through outdated books, taking notes with ink pens that either ran out or bled across the page every other time you wrote with them, snacking on foods and humming to the tune of the faint music playing from your small speaker until a gentle laugh pulled your attention away from it all. Oh, did you miss Felix's laugh.

Your roommate had easily turned into the best part of your college years. Felix, the guy with a big, dumb, and stupidly large smile on his face over any little thing, had been by your side for three years now. With the final year before you, you had only one, true hope. Never to lose someone like him.

But the comfort of the shared dorm eased away with each step. Single bag over your shoulder, the important part of your entrance was missing from the living room. Even the dent left from where he always sat on the sofa was cold, your hand leaving the fabric as you walked by it.

You wanted to shake it off, pretend the air wasn't thick. The blank walls freshly repainted made the dorm feel smaller as you walked down the hallway, closing in on you so tight that the sight of his back facing you was startling.

"Felix!" He stood still, back hunched over one of your tall cardboard boxes brought up by staff earlier that morning. He didn't falter at your voice. He didn't even turn around.

"I was wondering when you'd come in. I thought we agreed to return by this morning so we could order lunch and eat while we unpack?"

His eyes met your form in the mirror of your vanity, the simple piece of furniture giving him full sight of where you stood in the doorway. To you, you stared at him. But to him, he seemed to only stare at his reflection.

The corner of his mouth twinged at your silence, his index and middle fingers holding a single polaroid picture between them. "Freshman year at the fair. I remember this." He smiled with his words, eyes growing soft at the younger version of you. "You were so cold that night so I gave you my jacket. And you never gave it back."

His eyes only shifted back to the mirror for a second, your awkwardly standing body moving in on him at a slow pace. Laughter bubbled in your chest the moment you looked at the picture close up. The air around your best friend was almost as chilly now as it was that night.

"I wanted a relic for that night. It was one of those moments where you realize-- in time, you won't get to live through something like that again."

"So, you resorted to stealing." The grin on his face was as wholesome as it was stirring, the rapid beat of your heart heard easily in your ears. "Hmph—"

"My excuse is solid." You chuckled.

Back falling down flat onto your unmade bed, the mattress was just as soft as you remembered. Felix's irises were softer as they floated over you, blinking slowly. Now tilted over your form, the man wore a glistening shine on his face similar to when you're sick and attempting to break a fever.

You had seen the look before. The never-ending puppy eyes he gave you on the daily, only they grew colder the longer he stared at you. Almost uncomfortable at the stern glare, your body twisted and sight fell down to his clavicle.

"Did you get hurt?"

Even he had ignored the strange purple and red marks flaring beneath his skin until now. Felix's fingers rose to the blemish, the vein-shaped lines making his eyes blink to a close.

"Ahh, this." He mumbled, sighing. "I think I got a rash or something from walking through the woods back home. Some old friends and I caught up and went searching for our hangout. All we found was wooden planks and darkness hidden in the moonlight."

"Sounds like the outdoors nearly a decade later." You shook your head, memories of your own childhood floating back but dismissing at Felix's silence. His stare was almost overbearing, eyelids appearing heavy with dark circles surrounding the bottom of them. He looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep.

"Still getting nightmares?"

You knew him as well as anyone could over the duration of three years, but the long nights of comforting him only rolled back into your mind now. The beady sweat gliding down his skin, his fingers prying at his covers as he screamed out disoriented claims. Waking him from the absent sleep was the hard part, but watching him become conscious from within the terror of what he saw was somehow worse.

"They weren't as bad when you slept beside me." Head hanging, your fingers ran through his soft, blonde hair. The affection was normally enough to make him shiver, yet he only sat still.

"I'm right here again, Felix. You have me for an entire semester, and then wherever the world takes us when we graduate. I'm not going anywhere."

"What if aliens reigned down upon us and tried to only take you from our Earth?" This was the Felix you knew; the one who made strange jokes that hit your funny bone harder than anyone else could.

"They'd have to pry you from my cold, dead hands." You laughed.

His laughter was deep, eyes darkening as his head sunk back down and lips went flat. "That could be arranged."

It was impossible to pretend that Felix wasn't different.

two.

His body thrashed within the nightmare, limbs moving in different directions as if he could stop the impact, keep away from  whatever was trying to get to him. Cries and whimpers fell from his mouth, Felix fighting his own mind like he never had control of it in the first place. The shortest breaths surrounded his shallow words, a faint whisper moving through the air. “Please, make it stop. I wish that it would just stop.”

It had gone on for months, your reassuring voice always pulling him from the depths of his nightmares right at the time you pulled him into your arms. Routine, more like it.

He consumed your every thought and worry. Watching purple shadows form under his eyes took something from you, but witnessing him losing himself destroyed you both.

You never complained, but you feared for him. Each night you'd lose him to sleep, feel his skin run hotter than the sun until he broke with a sweat, feel his limbs hit against you as he fought nothing in reality: all for as long as it took the sky to turn black to purple, then blue.

There was even a time where his nightmares abated his grip on reality. Such as with severe insomnia, the two meshed. His nightmares were twisted tales of daily life according to what he would recall when he woke and tried to remember. Sometimes he'd have to ask if he was awake—if you could see him—multiple times before he would leave the bed.

Insanity, a lesser-known term for the situation. He had long hit a bend in his normality, turning himself on and off. He couldn't fall asleep, and he couldn't stay asleep. When he did the nightmares flooded in continuously until he was awake again. It was like an inception.

But that night, the one filled with too many soft touches, gentle kisses, deep groans and hallowed moans only to end in a sweet, double release, it lifted it from him. The nightmares vanished, he slept soundly, and you stayed too close.

"What's on your mind?" The honking traffic out on the road was nothing like his voice that could slice through any thought in your brain keeping you from him. He knew you too well to ignore when you zoned out. But as your eyes matched his face, the smile he always wore was merely faded all the way away.

"Thinking of old times and wishes." You smiled, the warm drink in your hands keeping you from shivering all over again as your eyes met. Still Felix, he just seemed distant.

"They aren't true." He asked, a painted smile reforming on his mouth. "It's easier these days to act it out in reality than to wish and hope. Less time consuming."

Laziness, he stayed glued to an easier way until truly challenged.

The dim walk back to the dorm was just as it had always been in September. Cloudy sky, bright moon, chilly air, warm drink, and Felix at your side. He usually tripped over his own shoe laces, regretting not re-tying them before leaving the campus' coffee shop. Right under the same lamp, like clockwork. No matter when, how often, or how scarce. But he didn't trip; in fact, his laces were tied and tucked into the lip of his shoes.

"If you keep looking down—" Hoarse and crooked, his voice breaking while catching you staring at the apparel below. "—you'll trip."

"Right." He is here, but not himself. How can one person change so much over the summer?

But the one charming piece that never changed in yearly-life was the last of the fireflies still around in the night air. Hovering around trees or in bushes, only slightly swaying towards those who walked by them or attempted to catch them. Their lights were so bright, yellow-green glowing like headlights as they gathered closer and closer.

"That's odd." Your whisper went unheard, the insects flying around Felix as if he were a beacon.

It was only in their light that you took in your best friend for what he was. An opposing expression as he glanced around, finding each and every one in a confused way. They glistened enough to show you the growing darkness in his veins, how his arteries seemed to thump with his heart beat, the whites of his eyes being paired with a white filter over his pupils, and the creepy smirk growing on his lips.

"See something?" His voice was so innocent. Like running your hands through flower petals, Felix's cherishable voice sounded normal for a split second. "Because you're looking real hard." But there it was again, the grained chord in his voice that wasn't there before.

The whites of his eyes were yellowed, a theme of sickness clearly wreaking havoc on his form. His skin still held the paleness of a fever, warm to the couch but dichotomized with many bumps from visual chills. Felix only got sick once a year from allergies, this appearance made no sense before the well-lit bugs illuminated him.

Tender flesh and body tainted with something more sinister than the naked eye could see. The fireflies only showed you what your gut already knew.

"I'm looking for you."

"Well." His teeth didn't chatter with the wind, but his eyes grew larger. "Here I am."

three.

It was the bear trap around your ankle that caught his breath. Cold air seeped in through the small building, wooden planks fallen and decayed from the elapsed time causing anything to make its way in.

But Felix stood disoriented, just as he always did in his dreams. "They're only forms of my imagination." He'd speak to calm himself, but sometimes his breathing would only speed up to that of a panic attack.

Everything in its place, the blood seeping from your skin as if reality was right before him. The scent of metal in the air from your blood-loss, the short whimpers from between your lips, and your eyes falling on his stone-cold form.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

The question in his direction daunted him. Never once, not even for a moment during the three years, had any of his nightmares starred you. Dark tales and twists, things seen and heard that would give anyone the heebie jeebies. Even his imagination knew to keep you from such danger.

Yet, here you are—in the flesh.

So much had been removed from his mind by it, including the promise you made to visit him at his hometown that first summer during your yearly travels. It had his tongue, let it lap the words, and pulled you right into him. But why did it wait?

"Let go." A command came from Felix, the one thought to be in control. His limbs only ran cold at the laughing hum in his ears. "Let. Go."

"At what price?" The voice was sinister, one you'd hear as a voice-over in a horror movie. Aura dark in the looming place, the sound was the creepiest of all. "You only see what you want to see."

"Why would I wish to see this?" Felix asked in a stern voice, but the faded marks around your form only made him grow hush.

"Your mind is sick, Felix. Tainted and twisted, all on your own." Its cackle was like a gunshot, Felix's frame held still on a chair not far from the figure itself. Old, face concealed by gauze that had long been stained by time. Even its walk was other-worldly, a wobble from side to side as if it was injured. "You must let it be released, or it will eat you alive."

"Everything you're saying is a lie."

"Oh, but I don't bargain such tactics freely. Those that walk amongst you have seen you change. And they're worried—worried about you, Felix."

His hands tried to swing upwards to his head, cover his ears with his palms and keep the rogue creature from his senses. But his wrists were bound down to the leather seat, the chair becoming a cage. He had only been seeing what it wanted him to see.

"Why are you doing this?" He growled, teeth clamped like a rabid dog at the sight of you wounded and in need of help.

"Always ask, never wish." The creature hummed like a metaphor only it understood.

Felix's limbs jolted, the steel binds now unlocked from the seat. He felt his limbs bring him to stand, but felt the thump of his heart warning him of what was to come.

"There are so few things that require companionship. But you humans are the exact example of weakness." It lifted foot from foot, waltzing slowly towards Felix. "Lovers, friends, family: you'd die without them. Those you care most about—the one you see now—what could you do without the existence of someone so important?"

"You can't do any real harm." Almost on impact, your cry met the sound of his ears. Top teeth sinking into his bottom lip to keep him from screaming at the sight alone, Felix's weak legs shook until his form hit the uneven flooring.

"Stop! Why!—" His cries were most painful, but the pain had yet to begin. "—Why are you doing this?"

"Same question, different context. If you have to ask, your gut already knows the answer. Why don't you try—" If it had any real teeth to show, Felix would see its wicked smile. "—saving a life?"

"What do you want from me?!"

The ceramic bath only came into frame for him now, his peripheral hiding such a standoffish piece in the heavy room. Water flooded in, ice topping it off, and it was now cold to the touch.

"If you get in, allow your body to fall into a silent slumber—you can wish to find the one you love in time before death comes knocking."

Felix shivered at the sight of the bath. Tears brimmed his eyes as his flat hand sunk in for an idea of what he'd feel as he got all the way in, but the pleading sound of your cries were too much to bear. Wherever you were, wherever it put you—he had to find you.

His body sank in slowly, every limb running numb from the paralyzing temperature. He wanted to scream, but his body could make no sound. Each nerve in his warm body ran still, the blood in his veins moving at the slowest pace possible to preserve his life. Like he was contributing himself to science, becoming a test subject—the life drained from him until little remained.

Pale form floating in the bathtub in the middle of the place he once considered happy, where he shared kind times with acquaintances, where he wanted to share time with you—he only laid still.

"Always ask." It repeated in his ears only. Black filled his veins, laughter filled his mind. He let it in to save you, but you were never really there. "Never wish."

four.

It all made sense. His weird, continuous vibe of being himself and not at the same time. Felix was too bright to be so dim like this, how did you not notice right off the bat?

Weeks were passing like days, the leaves of fall changing from bright colors to the browns of deadened plants. The grass had withered into itself more and more every time you stepped out of the dorm, a tactic to keep a distance from Felix.

In normality, the man would have found his way around your odd tangent. He wouldn't keep his eyes locked in on you as you walked past him, he'd chase you down and wrap you in a hug while asking about your day. He wouldn't bring home dinner for one, but two. And he most certainly wouldn't be sleeping so peacefully.

Back straight on his mattress as you peered into his room, he looked like a corpse lying within a coffin. His skin was a milky-white, thin enough that you could see the dark veins controlling him. His eye lids were shut, relaxed and not the tightness of Felix fighting himself to rest as usual.

"I've been wondering when you'd check up on me." His groggy voice was even deeper than the bass-y tone it normally was. A single eyelid rose, his black iris found you where you stood, and a shiver went directly down your spine.

"I-I thought you were sleeping." You choked out the words like you had something caught in your throat, fingers latching around the edge of the door-frame for your own comfort.

"How could I sleep on a night like this?"

His question daunted you, face attempting to conceal what he meant but ultimately shining an unhinged smirk in the process.

A pitch black November night, the sky filled with nimbus clouds that threatened snow at any second. Peering out his window from where you stood, it was too easy to recognize the almost identical scene.

"You know what I mean?" His sentence ended in a high-pitched tone, your face distorted with the memory you had completely pushed out due to Felix's current state. "It's not every night that two virgins lose themselves to one another."

It was taken from a love novel, the laced fingers while your hands held tightly together and your bodies rocked against one another in unison. You had known Felix was special, a ‘first real love’ situation. But that night solidified something far greater than you imagined it could.

"Y-You remember."

"Of course."

It was the first memory he spoke of off the top of his head, not from the sight of evidence such as the polaroid picture of the day at the fair.

You wanted the uneven breathing of his heavy panting in your ears to be forever recorded in your brain. The way he shivered each time your fingertips ran across his skin or your hand clamped on his shoulder for support as you both rushed to your own climax. Too easy, the sweet release of those in love without stating it.

"You gave yourself to me." Felix claimed sitting up from his lying position.

Palms digging into the mattress as his arms propped him up, it was the obvious gleam in his eye. The way his tongue swirled through his plump lips before rushing over the dryness of them, leering you to finally make a decision.

"I gave myself to Felix."

He only scoffed, head turning to the side to stare at the blank wall parallel to his skinny bed.

You knew, he knew, it knew.

"Who was running from me." His eyes only turned colder, the figure showing itself within your best friend like a distorted reflection in the mirror.

Felix's dyed blonde roots had become overgrown, now exchanged for his natural black hair. Small patches of the yellow color still dried and brittle at the middle of the length, it was a direct visual to how whatever was inside of him was taking over.

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?" His soft-toned voice like Felix's was so condescending that your fingers curled into your palm and created fists at your sides.

"Why Felix?"

"Pure then tainted. He was a lost cause the second your lips landed on his."

In every horror story, the virgins losing themselves is what gets them killed. It was figurative until it was reality.

"You gave yourself to him, me." It smiled outside of him, but you could still see Felix's eyes watering with tears from within. "So easily."

"Why are you doing this?"

"You took his place once. Would you do it again?"

"What do you mean?"

For a split second, everything had changed. Felix had a door opened by you that night, one that allowed in any and all that needed a place to stay. You gave yourself to him, but he gave himself to the world. And that caused someone to come knocking.

His nightmares only stopped after that. Originally haunting and tolling every second of each day, it was really you who had corrupted him until he was lost.

The pain of seeing him go through that, and now living inside of it. It was so much to bear.

"Is there anything I can do?" Your chest swelled from the words spilling past your lips. No matter how much you loved Felix, you feared this creature’s power much more.

"What is the cost of a loved-one?" It asked, voice narrowed and eyes on your form like it could see right through you. "Love is an abstract way of coping with your human life. It leads you down many paths, brings you to meet many different kinds of people. But where does it end?"

"Sorry?"

"How often do you forget things?"

"More often than I believe I do."

"So, how easy would it be for Felix to forget you?"

The question had never come up. Not for the three long years you had been his roommate, not for the two unveiling years you realized you were falling in love with him, and definitely not now when he was no longer before you.

The answer was easier than it should be.

"He won't."

"Would you wish to save him, even if you had to take his place?"

"Of course."

The two words were so simply executed, like a reflex. Felix had become someone you couldn't be without, but this torture—this never-ending torture—was far higher on the priority scale.

"He's my soulmate." You admitted, watching the creature twist and turn with little comfort. Almost appalled by your response. "What do I have to do?"

"Let me in."

In all things evil and tainted, you were upon one of the worst. It didn't take a bright mind to see the trickster and its ways. But it did to see the true exchange being made, and you were blind-sided.

"You already are."

epilogue.

All things are trivial. If human-like senses are the extent of survival, then when do other things become involved such as pain, heartbreak, emotions, starvation, and the gut feeling where your stomach twists?

The pain set in, your world shifting in an instant. Light sounds of a post rainstorm patting against the wooden planks through the open ceiling. Bright, blue moon right above to light your surroundings. And the clamped bear trap on your ankle.

A screech never subsides or explains just how terrible the pain is. Tears breaking from your eyes, mouth agape from the shreeks you released, and the demented creature's final stage running steady.

The metal was sharper than anything possible as your fingers tugged at the clamped trap. Squeals of its hinges, but no movement. A chain mounted to the ground brought a lack of motions you could make to reach for anything to help break yourself loose.

Replacement, it had brought you to where it all began.

This was the first summer shared with Felix outside of school, his hometown welcoming. The large tree in the middle of the same forest had thousands of fireflies to light up the sky as you walked hand-in-hand towards the run-down building he used to spend time in as a kid. Everything was meant to be, fated and scheduled.

Your hands clasped around your bleeding ankle, the skin broken and releasing blood faster than you could reach for the bottom. A thin tray beneath the clamp, the trap had to have a latch to release it. Your fingers fiddled, hope still on your mind, and found the small release. Weight lifted off, body stumbling to stand, your eyes locked on something you felt you hadn't seen in a lifetime.

Porcelain bath broken and leaking the ice water from a small crack, Felix's body floated with a state of rest you had never seen on the man.

No black veins, no black roots, and no wicked smile. You had found him as he was before, your body limping to the bath and pulling him above the water.

You hissed at the cold temperature of the bath water, using all the strength you had left to tug him over the side and down onto the deadened grass beneath the old, wooden floorboards of what once was a run-down cabin.

Thumb and index finger pinching his nose, deep breaths into his mouth filling his lungs, and pressure applied to his chest to restart his same heart that fought so diligently to survive and be with you again.

"F-Felix!" The warmest feeling wasn't finding him, it was the hot tears streaming down his cheeks onto your hand as he awoke from his never-ending sleep. "Felix." A relieved sigh broke from your chest and through your nose.

His words were shaken, mumbled and quick. But they were his, for once they were his. "I f-found you."

You were never far from Felix. And he was never far from you.

"You're okay—" First a whisper, then a reassuring statement. "You're okay."

Felix's long, blonde hair dripped the remaining cold water onto the skin of your shoulder, summer air floating into the open space like a deep breath. His eyes found yours, bright and alive like always.

"All I did—" Hefty breaths between syllables, no physical affection or words could comfort him from what he had been through. "—was wish for it all to stop. That was all. How did this happen?"

"It was in your shadow for a long time, Felix." Crying together with him was more relieving than all the time spent at his side. "It had you longer than I even knew it did. I won't let it come back."

Your voice rang in his ears, eyes blinking for only a moment. In a world less tangible, less understood, the crossing paths of what's alive and what's taken was fading.

The coldness crept up your back like a cold hand, an itch-you-can't-scratch feeling filling your veins. It was waiting for you.

"Do me a favor?"

Replacement. In your world, you were inside that deteriorated cabin holding up Felix with the last of your strength while staring into his eyes.

In his, he was only sitting in his pitch black room. Alone, the memory of you fading until even your voice was unknown to him.

"What's that?"

The fresh feeling of meeting him that first day, someone who stands out in a crowd and shines on his own. He was a beacon before you even knew they existed. With all evil removed from him, he was just your best friend again. The same friend who took you to the fair. The first man you ever made love to. The first person you claimed fate brought you to. Felix was himself again, but he'd never remember you existed.

The voice leaving your vocal chords was now darker—it was no longer yours. Felix's eyes opened from the deep tone alone, the last flash of your face in his memory leaving him.

"Never make another wish."

© copyright bearseungmin 2021, all rights are reserved. do not modify, repost, or translate without my permission. please.