#dao brain rot is back

[invisi-bee]

got morphable DAI heads working in origins yay

all vanilla DAI nose sliders are done. now i just have to finish all the gazillion other sliders too

[illuminchim]

I'm back with a drawing I did back in March, just right after finishing The Untamed

Now I'm currently drawing the part 2

[distort-opia]

Can you list out any enemies to lovers ships you’re invested in? It’s great to see we have the same taste. I also love Batjokes, Cherik, LLight, and Hannigram. I’d love to discover more.

All great ships to love! Ah man, my taste in other enemies-to-lovers ships runs from Ye Olde 2012 Tumblr days to Kdramas/Cdramas I would recommend with my dying breath, so I'll just... take you on a journey. Trying to limit myself to ships that lasted a while and for which I read fics for, and almost wrote fics for myself, yet somehow this still got super long (sorry).

But to start with the bigger ones... when it comes to other enemies-to-lovers ships that are well-known and quite big, I am also partial to Obikin (Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker), Silverflint (James Flint and John Silver), Wangxian (Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian), JWDS (Joowon and Dongsik), Thorki (Loki and Thor) and Harrymort (Harry Potter and Voldemort).

Obikin has more of the Cherik & Megop set-up; they had a very close relationship before one of them became the "enemy", ending up on opposite sides of a conflict. Don't know how familiar you are with Star Wars, but the recent Obi-Wan Kenobi show is just... so incredibly shippy. And angsty, and well-written. I fully recommend it. When it comes to Silverflint, it's a bit more complicated. They're not classical nemeses or part of fantastical worlds. It's more like Hannigram, in the sense that they're more grounded, darker. Flint and Silver don't get along, and then they do, and then they don't. It's such a complex, fascinating dynamic, and I recommend watching Black so so much. And man, I also recommend getting into The Untamed or any of its corollaries; the novel Mo Dao Zu Shi is the original, but if you prefer anime, there's also that. Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian (Wangxian) are... complicated, in the sense they're not quite enemies-to-lovers (they never truly hated each other), but they also are, since they definitely were on opposite sides of a conflict and fought each other. The thing about Wangxian and The Untamed is that it's a tragedy at its core, but one that gets a second chance. It's rather unique in that, and heart-wrenching. Then there's JWDS from the Korean show Beyond Evil; it's the ship between Joowon and Dongsik, the main characters. You've got Joowon who literally starts out suspecting his police partner of murder, and Dongsik who's... well. A wreck of a man for multiple reasons, but a manipulative one. Their enemies-to-lovers arc pretty much happens in the show, and it's brain-rot inducing, ugh. Fully recommend it. (If you watch Beyond Evil and like it, tack on The Devil Judge and Strangers from Hell on the list as well. Very Hannigram-like dynamics in these, with Strangers from Hell being... speedrun Hannigram on steroids that's somehow darker.)

Now to get into the last two rather "problematic" ships :)) When it comes to Thorki, I guess it depends on what squicks you. Back in my youth (read: a decade ago) the ship was thriving, and while there were some pearl-clutching voices here and there, they weren't the majority. Now you're likely to get people going "oh my god?? incest??" even though Thor and Loki are not even the same alien race, nevermind of the same blood. You can only call it pseudoincest, since they did grow up together. But hell, even if they were real brothers, it's a fictional pairing that's harming no one; and enough said on this front, before I get annoyed. I loved both characters and their dynamic a lot... up to Thor: Ragnarok and everything since then. No idea how familiar you are with Marvel stuff, but basically the first Thor movie, Thor: The Dark World, and The Avengers (2012) are peak Thorki-- to me. And lastly, to get to Harrymort... [sigh]. Mentioning it because I definitely ship it, but my enjoyment of anything Harry Potter has been poisoned by JKR and recent events. I don't engage much with material anymore, but dammit, the fandom has some incredible novel-length fics that do these characters and their potential more justice than the author ever did. The quality of fic for these two is unbelievable, and I'm basically... a fan of fanon Harrymort, because I could write a whole-ass essay and then two books on top about how JKR completely failed with this dynamic in the books-- and I don't mean in any way romantically, but just as nemeses or parallels supposed to teach a lesson or send a message.

Anyway! My main enemies-to-lovers and most enduring ships are definitely Batjokes, Lawlight, Hannigram and Cherik (in this chronological order of emergence, hah). Out the other ships I mentioned, I most heartily recommend watching Black Sails, Beyond Evil and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Also, maybe you'd enjoy Interview with the Vampire and Loustat, which is very... Hannigram-coded and incredible to watch. And Killing Eve, which hinges on the Villanelle ship? I liked these two shows a lot, although they did not quite activate Hyperfixation Mode in my brain. Perhaps they will for you. If you get into any of these, hope you enjoy <3

[dyrwoodan]

*paints my fave* *paints my fave* *paints my fave* *paints my fave* *paints my fave* *paints my fave* *paints my f

[kukuandkookie]

My sleep schedule is broken and it’s 9:00 am but I was just wondering why I don’t visit the SVSSS tags on Tumblr more often.

Especially since I’m constantly visiting the tags of my other brain rots. Like I go into the Word of Honor and Qian Qiu tags quite often these days, since those are some of what I’m currently obsessed with. Plus I literally used to scroll through tags like Mo Dao Zu Shi every single day back when I was super fixated on the series. I have fond memories of eating lunch in between uni classes just browsing the Mo Dao Zu Shi Tumblr tag and enjoying all the content. 😆

Despite this blog’s origin as an art blog, I have a tendency to just reblog whatever I like, and that often means fandom stuff. So I was wondering why I don’t reblog a bunch of SV posts at once more often—since I do it for other series I like, and I have done it for SV a few times, but not too often.

At first I thought maybe it’s because I brain rot over SV on Twitter so much (my account basically paints me as an SV “main” at this point 😂) and my lovely amazing SV friends who are all such talented artists and writers provide me with so much good food on Twitter already...

So I went into the SVSSS tag on Tumblr to see for myself and well.

I now realize why I don’t visit that often GKSKFDJDJ.

It’s true SV has seen more love lately (I think? At least I see more fans being active on Twitter and the MXTX Discord server I’m part of), but it’s definitely still the most “underrated/unloved” out of MXTX’s works. Like a lot of the top trending posts in SV are crossover posts with TGCF and MDZS—content which is totally perfect btw!—but also serves as a sign that SV occasionally gets swept over in spotlight.

Plus it’s true people can be hypercritical of the “unhealthier” aspects of Bingqiu, and I still see critiques in the tags. Like that time I just finished SV and I was really excited and I went into the tag and was immediately hit with piles of anti-Bingqiu posts talking about how “nasty/gross” the novel is.

Anyway, this is just some late night (early morning? Oops it’s 9:30 am lol) fandom musings. Don’t mind me~

I’ll finish off with saying I saw some art of LBH and SQQ I’ve already seen and yet still makes me very happy, and just say again that I adore them so much. 🥺

I was literally writing about them on Twitter a couple days ago—about how I love them because they’re both idiots—loveable idiots, but idiots nonetheless. Out of all of MXTX’s couples, they’re arguably the biggest disasters—and also I love how their outer personality contrasts with their inner personalities and how SV turns famous tropes on its head.

Anyway I’m starting to get into a whole different thing from the original intention of this post lol. I should probably get some more sleep. 😅

[dangermousie]

I got to give points to Lu Xiao even after all of this asking QYT point blank why he attempted to kill him and take him magic. Alas, QYT has no memories of this event and he can’t really say that because he knows it would sound absurd so he just says something like he must have snapped.

Ummm. Not good.

And after that Lu Xiao really loses it and when you add in that it would have been one thing if QYT had a good reason or even if he didn’t but he was so obsessed with the Dao that nothing else mattered but to LX it looks like he is able to put aside the pursuit of the Dao for his fellow brothers and his other disciple (he doesn’t know QYT doesn’t have other disciples, long story, but it’s reasonable for him to believe he does) and sacrifice himself but for him, LX, there was no consideration or even mercy.

AND HE SNAPS.

Great.

QYT tells him he can take his core or even his sword (and he loves his sword like a child) in recompense and Lu Xiao is all “ummm I want your body instead” and god bless QYT who is genuinely “how fun can it be to do it just to humiliate me, you must have dozens of lady concubines!”

UMMMM

Then LX pounces on him and QYT is appalled and fights back until he sees Lu Xiao’s horrible chest scar and so decides “hell, I tried to kill him for no good reason, if he wants to get repayment by humiliating me, fair enough” and stops fighting to Lu Xiao’s shock.

OMG, Qiu Yutong is so freaking !!!!! omg and I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE LU XIAO’S REACTION WHEN HE FINDS OUT THE TRUTH, HE IS GOING TO DIEEEEEE!

Poor QYT changes his mind later but yeah, hello noncon Lu Xiao doesn’t care. I mean congrats on being a unicorn who uses lube I suppose (and it’s hilarious that demon dragon psycho who is forcing someone in revenge still apparenly knows more than 90% of MLs about this sort of thing) but it’s still written as freaking super painful, so what is WRONG WITH YOUUUUUUU. I hope someone stabs you in your demon face, Lu Xiao. You suffered poor thing? Too bad SUFFER SOME MORE SUFFER SUFFER SUFFER!!!

ETA: And the morning after, Lu Xiao has the insane temerity to be pissed and shocked that QYT says “I compensated you, now I want to leave.” LIKE THE FUCK WHAT A SHOCKER THAT SOMEONE YOU RAPED AND WHO’S IN EXCRUCIATING PHYSICAL PAIN FROM IT TO BOOT DOESN’T VIEW YOU AS PRINCE CHARMING?! You need to FUCKING die! On the plus side, rage makes me read quicker. I forgot how fun it is to rage at a story.

ETA2 it would have always been highly unpleasant but I wonder if it’s extra bad because his body is made of snow so dual cultivating with a dragon is the last thing he should be doing.

ETA3 his senior brother is shady as fuck and the worst - he totally traded him for the alliance chief token. My happy ending is QYT palling around with his sword and letting the rest of all these awful people fucking rot.

ETA4: why are 99% of web novel authors so terrible at doing sex scenes. If you parse through the way it’s written, it’s possible that we are supposed to believe that at some point during the night it switched from noncon and painful at that, to QYT at least getting pleasure out of it but the way it’s written, you really have to parse and guess because the only thing they mention is the painful bits. Like wtf. Makes me think of Minglan where clearly you are supposed to parse and get she ultimately likes it but it’s written so terribly you have to be a kabbalist to figure it out.

ETA5: The fact that the lube is in QYT’s favorite osmanthus flavor is somehow super hilarious to me because it sums up Lu Xiao’s unique combination of considerate and demented. Like - forget a few fries short of a happy meal. The only part of the happy meal he has is the ketchup packets.

ETA6: Their new detente is the most insane yet in character thing ever. LX built him a beautiful lake house and keeps making him pastry and they agree to not repeat things and QYT is all “well, that was WTF and unpleasant but I guess I tried to kill him, so we are even now and whatever, he’s still my disciple who now keeps hands to himself also PASTRY PASTRY PASTRY!!!!” QYT’s brain is not like a normal person’s but then he’s not really human and his attitude to sex is not really human attitude either. But seriously, he is so odd. And Lu Xiao seems to have recovered from his psychotic episode and reverted to disciple and is all “can I sleep outside your room pls?” God all these people (?) need therapy.

[kukuandkookie]

Hehe absolutely!

I haven’t written a lot of recommendation lists for danmei since it’s such a diverse category and tbh there are probably much much more avid readers than I, but I’ve also consumed a lot of danmei lately and there’s plenty of intriguing stories out there. ^^

If you need a starting point, most people love Mo Xiang Tong Xiu, who remains like…the author of danmei, particularly in the west.

Mo Dao Zu Shi and Tian Guan Ci Fu are the most famous ones, with MDZS having the most diverse range of adaptations. There’s a lot of thematic depth to both that people adore, and there’s definitely a reason people believe Hualian from TGCF invented love.

My personal favourite of MXTX’s though has been Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System, which sometimes gets flack for being “problematic,” but it’s hilarious and angsty in equal turn, serving as a parody of male power fantasies and web-novels in general (which honestly many transmigration stories do, but SVSSS has its own unique charm).

It also falls under the shizun-fucker category (master-disciple relationships), and another super famous one of this kind is Erha by Roubao Bu Chi Rou aka Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat. I love this one because it’s sooo deliciously angsty, with amazing character development, but it’s also got some really out there, creative ideas and comedic moments.

Meatbun is most famous for her knives—and for writing cold beauties x possessive dogs. 😆

Yuwu and Bing An Ben are her other two novels.

So yeah, MXTX and Meatbun are probably the most famous danmei authors out there right now, but to expand further… It’s a good idea to start with the novels officially licensed in English by Seven Seas, mostly in terms of ease of access. They’ve snatched up quite a few beloved novels, minus the pigeon post one (for the author’s homophobia and transphobia) and KinnPorsche (which is Thai…and happens to be controversial for its author’s bizarre, hateful tweets).

There are a lot of novels now licensed in English actually, including the much beloved dystopian sci-fi Little Mushroom, which also has a really really gorgeous manhua adaptation.

For a fuller list of official English translations by multiple companies, this post is very very helpful.

Speaking of manhua and by extension donghua, I can be of help there because I have recommendations lists for all kinds of Chinese media types:

Heads-up that cdramas are the most censored form of Chinese media! Although the earlier stuff definitely got away with a lot more—such as with Addicted/Heroin or Advance Bravely. Winter Begonia is also a pretty beloved one, with The Spirealm being a recent big hit (both adapted from novels; the latter is from Kaleidoscope of Death).

PS: The reason there’s an additional list for even more danmei and baihe manhua specifically than the ones I already added to my overall donghua/manhua recs list is to avoid flooding the donghua/manhua list, but also because some of the manhua on the additional list would be…not for normies (eg Omegaverse or because of angst etc) lmao.

I’ve also been reading quite a bit of manhua lately in general, so for even more specific recommendations, I’ve written quite a number of Tumblr posts haha. For example, I have a post here for dog blood (angst) and crematorium wife-chasing (one member of a pair fucks up and has to win their former lover back), which is basically a list of manhua with red flags for those interested. And for those not interested, I also wrote this post of green flags in manhua here.

In fact on red flags, if you enjoy angst and that grovelling arc, I have to recommend the perpetrator of my current biggest brain rot, Shui Qian Cheng. She’s behind a series that people refer to as 188男团 (188 [Boy] Group—and yes, they have their “own” music, as seen here and here lmao. Bonus: here’s a cute fan song that summarizes a lot of the ships in the series!). It’s named that because all the gongs (tops) are 188 cm—and besides the dog blood and crematorium being a pattern, all the gongs are also younger than their shous (bottoms).

The reason I’m singling her out is because she’s the main culprit for so many people assuming Chinese bl manhua only have toxic male leads lmao. She’s not the only one writing them, but she’s popular enough most of her 188男团 novels have all been licensed for manhua adaptations on Kuaikan, who then licenses their manhua in English on INKR.

My current favourite is Yet You’re in Love With an Idiot aka My Beloved Fool and My Little Poplar, both of which have manhua adaptations now!

The fun thing about her work is that they all share a universe, to the point some of these stories are happening simultaneously: so for example, Yet You’re in Love With an Idiot stars Jian Suiying, while My Little Poplar stars his cousin, Bai Xinyu—and their stories intersect so you even get the same scene twice in two different POVs!

Having your novels share a universe though isn’t new for danmei, actually.

Meatbun does it too, as does Feitian Ye Xiang, a mainstream male danmei author (who actually currently has an ongoing novel—about a mafia boss iirc?—that’s still updating). Their stories though are set up more like prequels and sequels, where there’s a much larger gap of time—like generations—between their novels—so there’s less crossover.

But speaking of authors currently posting a novel that’s still updating…

Priest, one of the most popularly prolific authors out there, just came out with a new novel a bit ago! I think it stars a serial killer in a world where murder isn’t entirely illegal…? And she even warned it may not be a happy ending so you know it’s a wild ride HNGKSHS.

She’s popular for her worldbuilding, which means her ships take a while to get together and it’s not necessarily as romantically focused, but her stuff is good. She has also written a huuuuge range of genres, so you have a lot to pick from!

Word of Honor, a cdrama based on her Tian Ya Ke, is still one of the most popular bl cdramas to date—only second to The Untamed, an adaptation of Mo Dao Zu Shi.

Additionally, she also now has an uncensored adaptation under her belt because one of her novels was adapted in Taiwan (Shui Qian Cheng is another author with both adaptations that are censored, from China, and uncensored, thanks to one Thai adaptation and one that’s a Chinese-Thai-Taiwanese coproduction).

Priest demonstrates how some danmei are known for not being as heavily focused on the romance if you enjoy heavy plots alongside your romance. One non-Priest example is Thousand Autumns, another really popular novel, donghua, and audio drama.

And of course, as mentioned, there are more innocuous ones too. Some of my favourites include I Ship My Rival x Me aka I Ship My Adversary x Me (many danmei are set in the entertainment circle!); I Can Do It (e-sports is its whole own genre as well); Salad Days; and of course the ever classic, school days stories like Saye or Fake Slackers or Beyond the Outline (body swap; shares a universe with Fake Slackers!) or Wait for Me After School.

A lot of omegaverse is also set in the modern day, with I Like Your Pheromones being a personal favourite of mine. 😆

I’d also be remiss to discuss all these danmei without mentioning that many of them have audio drama adaptations on MaoEr FM, an adaptation form that is the second least censored (after novels but before manhua)!

Unfortunately subbing for audio dramas is kind of rare, but there are some people and groups who will do so. Like I know Treasure Chest Subs is one such group, with series like Copper Coins under their belt.

A personal favourite of mine though is Bing Xing Xia Deng, which…let me briefly explain something confusing about this novel:

Its author, Hui Nan Que, is also known for writing dog blood (sort of like Shui Qian Cheng), and Bing Xing Xia Deng is usually referred to by fans as Inferior by Nature, but its official English name is actually The Selfish Gene… Which just so happens to be the fan translation of another book by Hui Nan Que. 😂

But with that out of the way, I have to say the audio drama adaptation for Bing Xing Xia Deng is phenomenal. My friend, who I view as a danmei audio drama expert hehe, has a whole thread on why it’s insanely amazing! Like it had art that would update each new episode as colours spread throughout it due to the romance developing and a puzzle on one of the cover artworks that updated slowly as it neared its end… It’s just really pretty and really cool. 🙏

To explain the plot briefly… It’s got angst, the criminal underworld, regret, an unreliable narrator, and a reunion thanks to the main protagonist being diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour. So lots of fun things to explore!

And yeah, most MaoEr audio dramas cost money, but the casts and crews really deserve love for their hard work… It’s also not actually a lot when converted (for westerners, at least), so if you can find one you like with subs or you know Chinese yourself or you just really like a novel and would like to support it, I do recommend checking MaoEr out!

There’s lots of tutorials out there on how to use it, and most Chinese media platforms now accept western payment methods.

Another fun aspect is that if you listen to the audio drama on browser and your internet browser has the function for it, you can machine translate the subs. 💪

There’s even some free audio dramas out there too…! Erha’s adaptation is free because it’s fan-made, and the adaptation of Mr. Rong’s Lovelorn Diary is free too (about an omega who looks like an alpha finally finding an alpha who’s into him despite his not-delicate appearance, except this alpha mistook him for an alpha (he can’t be with omegas due to a bad past experience)).

Erha has some banger songs, btw! Both related and unrelated to the audio drama, such as this one below—which may be its most popular:

I made a playlist here for ease of access~

In fact, if you’d like to discover audio dramas via their songs, BL Galaxy is a great channel for that! One of my current favourites comes from I Became a God in a Horror Game:

There’s also some fan fiction audio drama adaptations which are similarly free because they’re fan content, such as this one for Yet You’re in Love With an Idiot called Paradox of Love—a story I’ve totally fallen for!!—based on this amazing fanfic.

I also can’t not mention the vomics (voice-acted comics?), which take manhua and then add voice actors and some animation—which I really appreciate. Some of my favourites for manhua (mostly manhua originals) are Kiss the Abyss; Don’t Say You Love Me; How’d I Get a Heroine’s Script; and Pixiu’s Eatery: No Way Out. ^^

I actually love vomics so much I’ve subbed a lot of clips on my Twitter haha. For example, here, here, here, and here—this last clip I just listed is from Pixiu’s Eatery and it still makes me cackle every time I watch it lmao.

Oh, and this is just me being obnoxious now, but Kiss the Abyss has another one of my favourite songs!:

But of course I can’t talk about danmei without mentioning how to support the original novels themselves. The MaoEr guide I linked also discusses Gongzicp, a reading site… But one of the most famous ones is JJWXC, which you can learn to use here.

And I could just keep going and going, to be honest… But I’m already starting to hit the excessive threshold by adding guides on how to pay for things even before you’ve really gotten into danmei lmao.

But I’d be remiss not to at least mention that the community here in the west is pretty active (much more active than for donghua and manhua in general), so you have lots to look forward to if you do get into danmei… Especially since danmei itself is so diverse! It’s a category, after all, not a genre, so it’s highly likely you’ll find something you like. 😉

Danmeitwt aka danmei Twitter is very helpful for keeping up with the day to day, and it’s also nice to find all the fan art—especially those from Asian artists. Of course, most Chinese artists are on platforms like Weibo and Lofter, but there’s still plenty of food on Twitter—including allowed reposts, new fan art, fan translations, news, and recommendations (many passionate fans make pretty, aesthetic “PowerPoint slides” to recommend their favourite danmei, which is great for discovering lesser known series!).

Other active areas include Tumblr—evidently—and Reddit! The latter is also a great place to find recommendations and, of course, discuss your favourite novels with fans.

They’ll likely be even more helpful than me ahaha.

And speaking of helpful… NovelUpdates is naturally very useful for finding fan translations and information on novels in general, such as in this compilation of popular danmei. Beyond popular though, you could look via author or genre or related series or other novels fans group novels with…

So yeah, lots to explore! And because of that, I think it’s pretty safe to say there are good things in there that’ll prove worth it to you. Which means I hope this post stoked some excitement and/or was of some help! 🥰

Guys im considering gay Chinese literature, is it good?

-Fumei

[yi-dashi-a]

30 :)

Send me a number and I’ll write a drabble about my muse’s past – Someone dies

On the day Yi Hui died, he died ensuring his death was justified.

Around him the smouldering ruins of everything he once known lay. He knelt in the middle of destruction and gore, thankful that some had been culled from the world so instantly by artillery explosion. But some had not. Many had not. As Hui’s gaze fell to the ashen ground he heard the mad tittering of someone, somewhere. When he had first arrived he had thought it to be the shifting of splintered wood, or the crackle of angry embers.

His throat was dry. Destroyed by screaming that still rattled about his skull, but despite it all Hui’s internal dialogue was clear. Thoughts came in rapid succession, but they were all so very rational. He catalogued them. He justified them. When they were all so neatly collated, Hui didn’t even see the blood on his hands any more.

All Hui saw was mercy. All Hui saw was what must be done.

He stumbled to his feet, tracking the noises of anything that sounded vaguely human. Bloodied souls from in their quaint huts presented themselves at some point in his wanderings, and Hui did not questioned their state of affliction as he whipped a sword from his boot and divided them longways. They cackled as they fell, and that was he needed to hear.

You can’t cure rot on the brain. You can’t cure Zaunite rot.

Though hot tears had begun to form rashes down his face, he was meticulous like a predator as he combed the village for once people. He stalked all who babbled in tongues, and although he was efficient in his search he was not so in how he dispatched his targets. With every passing person his precision began to fail. With every passing person Hui painted a monster. But was it truly so monstrous, in comparison to the things that had befallen in this place? Was murder for mercy justifiable? He pondered all these things somewhere as he hacked and slashed at twisted minds, ensuring none would suffer on that day.

But what of Hui? Had Hui not suffered too?

Not even sure if he had brought peace to all those afflicted by the chemicals, Hui found himself on his knees once more. His arms spasmed near uncontrollably as he tried, for but a moment, to turn his sword upon his own throat. He had breathed these poisons too, right? They had settled in his own mind, right? Surely then he was allowed rest after all he had seen and done? This was the way it was meant to end. They had slain Hui in his entirety; in spirit and body.

Serenity came soon after. Abruptly and staggeringly. As he kneeled in a seizing mess of war shaped skin and muscle, he suddenly felt his heart pound against his ribs. All of a sudden it was as if feeling came back to his form, and he was hyper aware when he felt the edge of his sword barely nick the skin of his neck. That’s all the man wanted to feel as his fingers relaxed and his weapon clattered to the floor of a dilapidated home. At that moment Yi Hui passed on, his anguish too much for him to take after he had committed a necessary atrocity.

And with that the vengeful spirit known as Master Yi had already slain his first great evil. He had already learned that it was time to be done with tears, and instead he relished the feel of his gritted teeth. He drunk in a new found resolve that came with anger too. How dare anyone harm his people.

“|How dare…|”

But there were more monsters such as Hui in this world. There were others who had to pay for their defiling of a peaceful people. So from the ashes Master Yi rose, striding confidently through the chaos to go and beg a corpse for his jade dao so that he might go on to avenge them all. It would be perfect, calculated revenge.

… And it would leave no one to mourn the death of Yi Hui.

[pristinepastel]

Dragon Age Origins Appreciation Week Day Five!

i... am having trouble keeping up... Questions of the Day: What did your Warden name their pet Mabari? I refer to him as barkspawn, but since technically there are two mabari (one in the kennels at ostagar, the other belonging to the couslands) it's only fitting they have actual names. So- Abeera and Aahils dog is named Isra. The kennel dog, who is quickly adopted by Elena is named Gordito. What did your Warden do concerning Eamon, Connor, and Isolde? Cheyenne is the one who mentions going to the circle. She's done so much research on so many different spells, and rituals of that scale tend to stick in her brain. After the whole debacle of saving the circle, Shiloh is brought into the fold, as well as Cullen temporarily. After freeing Connor from possession and healing Eamon with the ashes, they continue forward. After the blight ends, Cheyenne returns to take Connor under her wing and teach him alongside Shiloh. Prompts of the Day: A Warden’s best friend, the Mabari. How much does your Warden value their furry friend? Does their Mabari stay with them after DAO/Awakenings/Witch Hunt? What happens to the Mabari if they die from the Archdemon? OK first off no one does in my canons. So hot that down lollo. Anyway, the dogs are the most popular members of the group- most of my wardens love animals and the rest don't really care either way. Elena loves them especially, as do the Cousland siblings. When Aahil follows Morrigan through the eluvian, Isra follows suit, and when Elena comes to Amaranthine, Gordito is with her. Your Warden and Redcliffe, how did they deal with Redcliffe? Dealing with the zombies was... interesting to say the least. While Nascha does respect the spirits in the world, as her parents and peers taught her, she is still... really fucking terrified of them lollo. Elena doesn't like ichor and rotting smells, but she can tolerate the skeletons, and she doesn't really notice that sort of thing in the heat of battle anyway. Abeera feels a little nauseous due to the smell, but as an archer she's far enough away that it doesn't bother her too badly. Now, Aahil and the Aeducans- they're ecstatic. They love horror stories and the like, so they're having so much fun. Alex doesn't really care- they're skeletons. They've seen worse in the alleys back in Dust Town. Shiloh is still in the circle at this point. How did they deal with Haven and the Sacred Ashes? Did they kill the Dragon or no? After dealing with the cultists and being sufficiently horrified and disgusted, they accidentally wake up the dragon. By accidentally i mean Borghild tripped backwards and the war hammer on her back struck the gong. So after killing the dragon, they retrieve the ashes. They made sure to clean their hands first, thankfully.

[kukuandkookie]

Hey, remember when I said this?

So things are still crazy, but they’re slowing down a tad at long last!

Of course the future is still murky and in reality when I think of it I’m still anxious, but it is nice that overall tasks are starting to finish with the semester ending. There’s still a lot of immediate future things that I’m uncertain about, but I’ll get to those when I get to those. 😭

I’m still having a lot of stress and anxiety and my sleep schedule got messed up again due to another school project and exhaustion, but I’m doing better than when I collapsed a bunch and hit my head on the heater/toilet in the washroom.

I’ve also started reaching out to people again, and the people I have been communicating with have been very, very sweet. 🥺

For example, when I told a strict prof I have about my fall, which is why I missed a quiz, she was very reassuring and was just concerned about my health. I have had her before, and a classmate noted to me that my prof seems to like me a lot (according to them, her eyes apparently light up when I speak haha). She even asked for us to stay in touch, since I won’t have any more classes with her. But what’s more, she actually recently emailed me to check in on me!

The fall also caused me to miss a 7:30 am tutorial (10:30 am their time), and I emailed my TA about it, and she said it was alright as well. She even said “you deserve all the best,” and idk words like that can just be really touching...

Getting those emails, I practically cried agkdlfjksdj. My friends on Discord have also been very sweet and supportive, even as I started retreating in another group because my brain cells can only handle being active in 1-2 groups at once.

Anyway, I have one more project due, one more exam, my thesis, some more art and writing tasks, and the issue of moving out, and potentially going back to China for family/health issues, and then I can finally relax.

A bunch of my friends want to do art collabs with me, and I’m so...touched? It’s been a while since I’ve been in such an active, intimate friend group of artists, so it’s really lovely.

My Bingqiu fanfics have also been doing really well and it’s so cool being in a fan community that I’m actually super brain rotting over and inspired by! Like I did create a lot for Steven Universe and SVtFoE back in the day, but I wasn’t as obsessed with those shows as I could’ve been. In contrast, I was obsessed with Mo Dao Zu Shi and various donghua, but didn’t have the time/inspiration to create stuff for them. With SVSSS, it’s been really nice that I feel both!!

Hopefully I’ll figure out the China/family stuff and get a solid schedule sorted out for collabs and other art/writing tasks! For example, I want to tackle a MXTX Big Bang and another Chinese fandom Big Bang with two of my friends! ♥️

Like a while back, I had a bit of a reality check in terms of another friendship of mine, and with my growing anxiety that causes me to ghost even my bestest friends and family, I just withdrew even more. Quarantine has been interesting in that I have both withdrawn and come out of my shell, and it can sometimes feel like I’m scuttling back and forth ahaha.

The people who are in my life are all positively lovely though. My Discord friends keep sending me supportive messages and calling me cute and sweet and reassuring me I am working hard even when I feel like I’m not, and I’m so glad they’re so supportive. I hope if they ever meet me irl, they’ll still like me—it’s easy to feel like you’re unlikeable the more someone gets to know you, or in comparison to how they treat other people. I’m always surprised when it seems like other people actually care about me and what I have to say and want to be around me.

And despite all the family drama, I did recently reach out to my cousin, who’s just such an absolute sweetheart. She even agreed to buy me some SVSSS and Nezha merch from Taobao to store with her because it’s cheaper that way. She sees me as a little sister and it makes me go 🥺 all the time.

But yeah, it’s rare I delve into my personal life on Tumblr, but right now I’m actually glad my Tumblr is so removed from my personal life. These are just some thoughts I want to express that I don’t necessarily mind my friends seeing, but I also don’t want to worry them and it is a little embarrassing admitting how much things affect me, both positively and negatively.

I tend to keep my personal life off Tumblr (anything whiny about school that I don’t have the impulse control not to stop myself from posting goes on Twitter)—but I have too many friends following me on Twitter who may perceive me, and I don’t wish to worry them.

I just needed a place to say that I’m really close to falling apart and having a breakdown because I’m so overwhelmed and confused and lost and terrified. Things keep happening and piling up and up and up and I’m not communicating with certain people again because I’m so overwhelmed and anxious I’m at a loss as to what I could even say.

I’m just having a rough time.