#dancing so very close to the line between platonic and romantic

[girl4music]

CALLISTO: “There's a reason you can't allow you and your partner peace. It's your guilt, it motivates everything you do, torments you. Invite me into your soul and I can purge you of that guilt. I can cleanse you of that shame that drives you. I can give you peace if you let me. What's it gonna be, Xena?”

I go out of my mind with this episode sometimes. It’s just so damn powerful. Incredible writing. And again, I don’t know how anyone can watch an episode like this and not view it romantically. That’s the only way I can.

[f1version]

Congratulations! Your works are amazing! You totally deserved this. Can i please request a headcannons about a secret reliationship between mick schumacher and a female driver?

KISSING IN SECRET ★ MSC47

pairing: mick schumacher x merc driver!reader ( she/her ) word count: 1679 warnings: mentions of misogyny !!!

2k celebration ★ general masterlist

Love comes easy to you and Mick—friends for too long, eager to make up for the time lost. What’s hard is the nature of your relationship; secrecy protecting your peace.

It begins at a pub in Austin, 2021. You were celebrating your first win for Mercedes, and even though his result was far from good, Mick decided to tag along. Then, all it took was a couple of shots, a bit of dancing, and a lonely corner to blur the lines of friendship and fall on each other’s lips. 

A week of tension, anxiety, and avoidance later, you were falling asleep in his arms, heavy breathing and soft touches all over your body.

Now your life is based on clandestine meetings, brushing fingers or stolen kisses, and a well put illusion of friendship. 

And no one ever thought much about your closeness, not until Mick moved to Mercedes in 2023. 

When people saw Mercedes’ star driver sharing so closely with the new guy—one whose performance didn’t leave people’s mouths,—they prayed for a big story. By the time Australia rolled by, the PR team requested distance while the cameras were on. 

And it wasn't as if these types of requests were foreign to you; misogyny was a thing after all, but you were never in love with George, or Lewis, or Alex, or Lance, or anyone but Mick. It was frustrating, but it didn't change a lot of things—especially because Mick was a reserve driver.

Of course, the topic would make it into your conversations: 

“Do you think it would be a disaster? I mean going public.” Mick asked almost out of nowhere. You were lying on his chest, freshly showered after a disappointing Austrian GP. “Maybe. It will most likely follow us forever.” You said, and he sighed, “Do you think the team would be okay with it?” “I think they care about us enough.”

There were stories about this. Drivers within the same teams having such a strong relationship (let it be romantic or platonic, who knows) that they destroy not only their’s but the team’s trust. 

Both of you believe Lewis knows. Your only evidence being the small pep talk he gave you moments before his last race in the sport, in 2022. Something about being selfish, about how this sport will always judge, so you might as well take what you want.

You wanted everything. To be selfish, to take your time, to figure everything out first, but also to just be reckless. You didn’t tell him that; you just expressed your gratitude.

The European arm makes it a bit easier. Motorhomes are used, and hotel rooms become unnecessary. It’s as simple as walking into a room and not caring about avoiding people in the hallway; your only excuse is your well-known friendship. 

You love spending nights laughing, kissing, crying, and everything in between. 

You were reckless, and learned to be as careful as you needed after the George incident™

It happened in Belgium; the race and debrief ending hours ago. You were in your room, boyfriend sneaking in to talk about the race, which ended in a very lovely make-out session. And that’s when (clueless) George decided to knock on your door. 

Mick ran to your closet, making a mess of your race suits to be able to close the door. You, absolutely terrified of the Paddock’s Gossip Girl, threw a blanket over your body, taking a deep breath before facing George’s comments of: “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” and “Also hit by a truck,” and “Need help with the suits?” 

You rolled your eyes and had him complain about the car with you for forty-seven minutes. Mick could barely feel his legs after that one. 

At some point, the team starts talking. More about Mick having a crush than anything—especially since he doesn't deny it. But it’s mostly a joke; no one takes it too seriously until that teasing reaches Toto’s ears. 

For a second, you were ready to be called to his office and hear him talk about how he supported whoever you chose to love, but that if someone or something was making you uncomfortable, you must tell him. 

You had always been grateful for those talks. In the end, you knew they were there because of how ruthless the media had been in 2020, after your first dating rumors with a driver—with George, out of all people, your teammate then and your teammate now. George who had (and has) a girlfriend. It had been an awful sophomore season, to say the least.

This was different, though. This was not the media making up things; this was his own team talking about his reserve driver having a crush on his driver. This could be a different story. 

Here’s the thing: You had never heard the teasing in person, you knew of it because of Mick. You spent nights laughing at it together, making up responses he could give to hard launch your relationship. They never got out of the coziness of your bed, but it was fun. 

That particular day wasn’t Mick gossiping, that day you were there, and it caught you off guard. A good off-guard, you were ready to laugh it off. 

But Toto was also there, mistaking your surprise for discomfort. And so you weren’t called to his office, you stood next to him during a 20-minute talk on professionalism, respect, and boundaries.

You were grateful, not knowing where that joke could end up… But still, you and Mick laughed the whole night. 

Also, I would be lying if I said it didn’t set off an alarm, bringing to the table a thought you had been trying to avoid: the consequences of public. The need for security.

Consequences mean a lot to people, especially in your sport. A driver’s health could be destroyed by not acknowledging them after all.

For you, consequences meant having the media hang on to it forever to diminish your work. It means being called names, be harassed by fans. Means being accused of taking advantage of your power. It could even mean closing doors to other female drivers because misogyny is a thing.

For Mick, it means another reason for his place in Mercedes to be questioned. “Who knows how long they have been dating?” “She and his last name gave him a place.” It means being portrayed as an exploiter, his relationship reduced to an unethical plan to get back on track. Means being praised at your expense.

But there are pros. There’s a necessity to continue changing people’s minds, to be happy, selfish, and own it.

Summer break gets in the way of those conversations though...

Breaks are your favorite part of the year (as a couple). You either stay in Switzerland or avoid the so-called “hard launch islands,” where drivers pretend obliviousness towards snapping pictures of them and their partners.

(Sebastian Vettel gave it the name by the way)

“What if we soft launch?” You asked one morning, scrolling through Pinterest and looking at all the ways a soft launch could happen. Mick choked on his drink, coughing a bit before answering, “I’m so sorry, babe, but what?” “Hear me out! We can have people know we are in a relationship, but they don't have to know it’s us yet. It can be a years-long soft launch if we want.” 

Mick stared at you for a whole minute, smirk following it. He thought it was brilliant, laughing while trying to properly kiss you. 

“We have to tell PR, tho.”

Two weeks later, you called on a meeting with PR, lawyers, and Toto, they had no idea what would be discussed. 

Toto's eyes went wide as he saw you and Mick enter the room together, and everyone followed his motion after you briefly explained the situation.

Your PR manager spoke first, “I won't lie and tell you it’s going to be easy; both of you understand how cruel the media is, but I also don’t think it will be as hard as we imagine... if you go public, of course.”

Then Toto started talking about how, to some extent, he understood your worries. How “People will talk sh*t all the time; you need to unconditionally support each other so it doesn’t kill you.” He gave the support talk and visited a couple of logistical questions.

Five days later, Mick had soft-launched his girlfriend, and five weeks after that, you had a boyfriend. 

Eventually, you told some friends (those who didn’t know already.) 

George was 100% not surprised. He grins and shouts, "Knew it!” and suggests a double date with him and Carmen. (To that plan, other couples are added—Alex, Lance, Esteban, etc.)

It turns out, with the help of your team and the correct people, everything becomes easier. From interacting in front of the cameras to booking rooms.

One of your favorite things is the teasing your friends/colleagues give Mick after you score a podium. He starts giggling and muttering about how proud he is of you, cheeks turning pink and eyes unable to leave you.

Mick loves sitting next to you during debriefing, letting you play with his hand under the table when anxiety strikes. 

It feels good. Not to be so secret around the paddock. 

“You know I love you, right?” “Yeah, but I love you more.” “Okay, competitive!”

Sometimes you want everyone to know. Surprise the world with Mick being the guy on your Instagram, and Mick feeling the need to shout in everyone’s faces that his girlfriend wasn't the model they speculated to be.

The third year of your relationship, 2024, is the hardest. There are eyes on you all season, commentary becomes stronger as you fight with Max on track, and so rumors of your relationship with Mick arise. 

Mick hates everything being said about you and eventually can’t hold back the need to be loud about it. And so do you. 

Both of you want to be selfish. Take whatever you want out of this sport. Who cares what people say.

[xreaderbooks]

Unspoken

Pair: Sirius Black x Reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: mentions cheating (?), jealousy, language

Summary: You and Sirius were friends, the best of friends, lovers? There's a thin line between love and being in love with your best friend, it seems like everyone knew, but the two of you.

Available on Wattpad and AO3

Sirius Black Masterlist - Navigation

“Alright, Y/n?”

James’ familiar accent practically shouted as he slid into the seat next to you, tugging the ends of your loose hair.

“Merlin, James!” You clutched your chest, startled by the sudden interruption. You were enraptured in your History of Magic assignment and the library had been so quiet before. “A little warning next time, maybe.”

“I am the warning,” He smiled slyly, “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been avoiding Pads like the plague.”

“Nothing is wrong with me, it’s only been four days for god’s sake,” You rolled your eyes.

His eyes widened, “I didn’t know it’d been that long or I’d have checked in sooner, Four days is a lifetime for the two of you.”

“You both are so dramatic.”

“Says you who won’t even tell your best friend why you’re not talking to your lover boy.”

You glare at the boy who didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut, “Now, you know damn well you’re not my best friend and for the millionth time me and Sirius are just friends.”

You slam the textbook you were reading closed and packed it in your bag, moving out of your chair and walking away. James followed closely behind.

“I’ll have you know we’ve been friends for longer than the lot of them,” He referred to the rest of the Marauders and the girls. “You should be able to trust me.”

“You asked me for homework twice before I’ve had a conversation with Sirius or the others, that does not mean we’ve been friends for longer, that just means you're a slick prick.”

“I’m gonna pretend your words don’t sting, L/n, but I’m begging you-” He blocked the door to exit the Library. “Tell me why you aren’t speaking to the poor lad.”

You crossed your arms, frustrated, “The moment I tell you, you’re gonna be off tattling to Sirius.”

“I promise I won’t,” He spoke in a serious tone and you looked at him with a stern face. “Cross my heart.”

You had no reason to be ignoring Sirius the way that you had been, not really. After all, you were just friends- friends don’t get mad when friends kiss other people at a party. It was petty of you to have kept it going for this long but you were hurt.

Also, between you and Sirius, you were always a little more than just friends.

Nothing about the two of you was platonic and yet no physical act indicated that you were in a romantic relationship. It was known, it went unsaid, he was yours and you were his.

For years, it was an ongoing dance of lingering stares and near touches. As if the act of an embrace or a simple handshake will combust the carefully constructed invisible wall that you both had built on your friendship. It went unsaid that though you weren’t together- you are. Despite both of you being insistent on the status of your relationship as being just friends.

“He was with someone else at the party,” You confessed.

James scoffed disbelieving, “No he wasn’t.”

Your eyes narrowed, he definitely was- you saw it with your own two eyes, granted you were slightly inebriated but you couldn’t have conjured the image in your mind. If he didn’t trust your word it was fine by you, “Ask Remus if you don’t believe me then.”

“That’s why he hasn’t been in an uproar about this,” He placed his hands on his hips. “Right well, in that case, Pads was very likely drunk.”

“And this is why I didn’t want to talk to you,” You shove past him finally. “You’re always going to defend him, no matter what Sirius can do no wrong.”

“Forgive me if I don’t think Sirius would do such a thing, he’s absolutely mad for you Y/n, you have to know that.”

You paused in the middle of the hall, you bit your lip in thought and shook your head. “He’s not mine, James, it doesn’t matter what he does.”

~~~

When the Gryffindors threw a party celebrating the final win of the Quidditch season, all houses were invited, and you lost him in the crowd. Some part of you knew.

You felt the betrayal deep in your gut, though he would never do anything to hurt you willingly, a part of you felt like it was inevitable. That was the reason you held out for so long. Life was unpredictable and everything could fall apart in a second.

A girl hung around his neck, he looked stunned but smiled droopily barely opening his eyes before leaning into her again.

All the protection you formed around you had crumbled, your heart was shredded with sharp razors and the room was caving in. You shoved through the barricade of people cheering and dancing. You needed air, now.

You clutched your chest as you felt a pain come from your sternum, you couldn’t remember the last time you cried, this would be breaking the uncounted streak. You stumbled, dropping the firewhiskey-filled cup on a table nearby, and ran to a bucket of trash, throwing up the contents of an empty stomach.

Sirius warned you to eat and drink water ahead of time, the last thing you ate was breakfast 12 hours ago, the memory of Sirius made it so much easier for your upset stomach to clear out.

Gentle hands pulled the few strands of hair that fell out of our weak grasp, from your peripheral you saw Remus’ brown sweater sleeve. You heaved into the trash bucket, “Rem.”

“You’re alright, Y/n/n,” He rubbed smooth circles on your back.

“I think I’m gonna die,” Your eyes tear up from the sting in your throat and because of what you just witnessed.

Remus tsked, softly pulling you up from your kneeling position, “Up you go, love.”

You whimpered slightly, you were in a corner hovered over but more than a few people definitely see you spill your guts into the can you held close, this was going to be embarrassing tomorrow. Hopefully, no one was sober enough to remember seeing you this way.

“I’ll take you to my dorm to rest a little before I find Sirius and he can walk you to yours-”

You shook your head in protest, “No, I can’t. Get Lily.” Sirius could potentially bring his conquest up to the room and you didn’t want to see more than you already have.

He tilted his head in confusion, you weren’t up to explaining it to him right now so you insisted you both find Lily together.

“Weren’t you together?” He asked, his hand was on the small of your back, guiding you around like a lost child looking for their mother.

“He went to get me a drink, I was with Marlene, next thing I knew I was throwing up.”

“So why can’t we just find Sirius?”

“Later, Remus, I can barely fucking stand right now.” You held onto his shoulder as he walked you a couple of steps up the stairs to the boy's dorm so you both can get a better view of where Lily was.

You caught sight of her fiery red hair, giggling at whatever James spoke into her ear.

“Wait, here-” Remus steadied you on the wall as he went to pull Lily away from his flirty friend.

What was worse was that you saw Sirius searching the crowd, presumably for you, thankfully you were hidden from view. He found James who had pouted the moment Lily walked away with Remus, he stressfully ran a hand through his hair.

Your vision was blurry, the room felt like it was spinning and you weren’t sure if leaning against the wall was helping your nausea.

Lily and Remus had managed to get you to your dorm as efficiently as they could that night. The next morning you spent the day in your dorm, Saturday was spent avoiding Sirius, Sunday you went to Hogsmeade and Monday was the only day where you had no classes with him but during meal times you had barely said a handful of words to him.

~~~

Transfiguration class was busy and stressful with what Professor McGonagall had assigned. A full description of what was learned in class today, caused by the disruption of the lovely boys you called friends. James and Sirius wouldn’t stop interrupting class with their jokes which made everyone laugh but eventually, Mcgonagoll got fed up giving them warnings.

When she was over with her lecture, she told the class to have the essay ready by the end of class, there were only 30 mintues left. 

You felt a poke on your side, you ignored it and continued with your paper. Another sharp poke stabbed harshly into your ribs, you slammed the quill onto your desk and turned to face your assailant.

The silver eyed Gryffindor was smirking into his hand that held his chin while he held onto the tip of the wand, handle side pointed at you.

“What?” You whisper shouted at him.

“Was hoping you could help me with my work?” He whispered softly to you with a charming smile that normally made you melt eased onto his features. You held strong, “No.”

His brows furrowed and a faux frown replaced it, “But darling-”

“No, Sirius.” You scribbled angrily on your paper. You were almost done with the essay, you just need a couple more sentences for it to be acceptable for Mcgonagoll. “You got yourself and everybody else into this mess, you get yourself out of it.”

He groaned a little too loudly earning him a look from the Professor, he sat up straighter and leaned closer to you, you both shared a desk and he already sat so close that your elbows would accidentally brush when writing notes or shifting in your seat. You could feel his heartbeat as his chest was touching your arm, his head was tilted to see your face but it was hidden by your hair.

You pretended you couldn’t feel him or the heat that was rising in your cheeks, with a finger he lifted the curtain of hair blocking your face and tucked it behind your ear.

“Please?”

You shot out of your seat making the chair scrape against the floor as you got out of it. You walked up to Mcgonagoll’s desk, handing her the paper and asking her if you could be excused.

~~~

When each of the rest of your classes ended that day Sirius was waiting for you at the door, he took the books out of your arms and walked you to the next one before going to his. During meal times he had his arm around your shoulder like it was something natural for him. It wasn’t even the casual loose arm around the shoulder, it was him pulling you so close that your head was forced to lean against his neck.

Not that you hated it, in fact, your traitorous heart lept in joy at every inch of attention he was giving you. Every now and again, your brain would pop in and remind you of the incident at the party that was the only thing you seemed to remember and your body would tense. The moment he felt you tense up he let you go, which ruined those perfect moments.

Each day something more was added. It made your body tingle in excitement at how it remembered Sirius’ burning touch. His arm, his leg, his fingers- his lips. Nowhere near your lips and it made you yearn for the feel of them.

At breakfast, he kissed your temple in greeting.

In class, if you had one together (he would always sit with you) his arm would be around your chair, and not only would he play with your hair but when he would stop, he pulled you into his side, tracing his fingers along your arm.

In the common room, if you were sitting next to each other on the couch, he pulled your legs onto his lap and traced the same patterns that he would in class.

After the Quidditch game this weekend against Ravenclaw, Gryffindor won and Sirius pulled you in a sweaty hug, twirling you in his arms. Once he set you down, the way he grabbed your cheeks and pulled you in you thought he was going to kiss you- instead, he kissed both of your cheeks.

The party that weekend wasn’t as big, most everyone from the last one still recovering but Sirius stayed by your side the whole night. It was half the crowd from last time but Sirius made it his sole mission to scare off any guys who weren’t in your inner circle.

You had to admit that this party made you think of the last one and it wouldn’t budge from your thoughts until you had enough liquor in you that you didn’t care.

Sirius held you close by your waist as you danced to Killer Queen by Queen, your back was against his chest, and in your tipsy state your head laid back against his heart as you swayed in an upbeat motion to the tune of the song. You and Sirius were singing along to the lyrics annoyingly to your friends.

By the end of the night, you didn’t know how much you could take of this before you exploded. You went back and forth between loving the attention and running from it, you weren't sure who was playing with your feelings more, him or you. 

~~~

This went on for a week, by the evening of the next Monday, you needed to put a stop to this before your feelings overwhelm you. During this time, you've debated on what caused the sudden change in affection and the only logical reason you could think of was James. 

“James Fleamont Potter!” You marched into the Gryffindor common room, straight to where Lily was surrounded by books on a desk, the boy you were looking for in a seat right beside her- no doubt attempting to woo the poor girl who was just trying to study. She pretended to be bothered by him, you knew the truth but none of that mattered at the moment.

Apparently, he didn’t hear so went around the desk and dragged him up from his seat by his collar and cornered him on the wall behind the desk.

“You told him, you told Sirius and now he’s acting different!” Your forearm was on his throat, he glanced down at his wand. “Try it and I’ll jinx you so hard you won’t be able to turn into a stag for a long, long while.”

He gulped as he looked down onto your furious face, “I would never!”

“What the bloody hell is going on here?” Remus held a bewildered expression once he came down the steps of the boy's dorms. You glared at James, releasing your hold on him and taking a couple of steps back.

You pointed at the boy who was rubbing his neck, “He told Sirius about the party!”

“I did not, I swore I wouldn’t-”

“Liar!”

You and James bickered for several seconds, both of you not hearing the other until Lily slammed her textbook loudly.

“Enough,” She shouted, “Both of you are behaving like children!”

“She started it,” James muttered. You huffed, “I hate you.”

“You know what? Maybe he’s acting different because you can’t even look him in the eye when you speak to ‘im and trying to get you to pay attention to him, you loon.” James blurted out and finished off his statement with his arms crossed.

Remus took a step in your direction and asked you in a careful tone, “Y/n, would it really be so bad if Sirius knew?”

“If I knew what?”

The subject of discussion just walked through the portrait, your heart stopped at the thought of him possibly hearing your entire conversation. Nobody said anything but you felt everyone’s eyes on you, you only held onto Remus' stare and walked up to the girl's dormitories, not wanting to deal with this mess.

The way he was acting differently was the way he was being more physical with you. The tuck behind your ear, the wrapping of his arm around your shoulders, the caressing of your face for you to look him in the eye. Something you’ve avoided since the incident.

Physical touch was something that you and Sirius didn’t do. To touch each other for something other than comfort in a time of need, was an admission of something that was unspoken. Those careful touches were full of care, admiration, and love. As if you could ever touch each other with meaning less than that.

It was so simple that it was never done unless one of you was hurting, or if it was necessary for a task.

The accidental brush of fingers was the one that sent a spark up your spine. His pinky would twitch against yours, or yours against his and you both knew but that was the most that either of you would allow.

There were times were he would have his arm around your chair, and he would play with the ends of your hair, never actually touching you.

The only time that was an exception was when Sirius did something wrong, in which case he would do what he was doing now and was more physically affectionate. He was a puppy rubbing his head against its owners leg to gain favor for chewing on their owners' shoes. The analogy felt fitting, and that’s what you told Lily when she came to the dorm after you, asking what was wrong.

She laughed heartily, “Well, he’s not called Padfoot for nothing.”

You laid back against the headboard of your bed, “With all these signs, he knows.”

“Those aren’t bad signs, Y/n, it’s quite the opposite actually.” She advocated for Sirius’ behavior, “That’s the equivalent of a man sending flowers to his girlfriend.”

“But I am not his girlfriend”

She sighed, “I’m sure you two have heard this a lot, but you might as well be. This affliction with touch as a way to avoid your feelings doesn’t change that.”

She was right, you knew it- Sirius knew it, there was just something that prevented you and Sirius from taking that step. You felt like it was his fear of commitment and for yourself… as much as you would’ve loved to hear how Sirius feels out loud, what you had with him as friends was safer than ending up with a broken heart.

~~~

Tuesday after classes, the Marauders wanted to go out, but out they meant the Black Lake. Lily suggested a picnic and whatever Lily wanted, James provided.

Remus and Peter set up a large blanket, Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary held hands swinging them along while Mary held the basket. Lily and James walked behind them as you and Sirius trailed after.

Sirius halted you by intertwining his hand with yours, you looked up at him in question.

“Can we talk?”

You look over your shoulder at your friends- none of whom were paying any attention in your direction- traitors.

“Sure,” You give him a small smile.

Sirius’ silver eyes intimidated you, his beauty in his tall stature, his style, and his bone structure was pure elegance but his eyes are what you loved the most. They sliced through every rational thought you had and turned your legs into jelly, they held yours so gently it made you want to jump at his every request.

“I know why you’ve been so off with me lately,” He started and leaned his back against the tree with his hands in his front pockets.

Your eyes narrowed, and your eyebrow quirked for him to continue, “Go on.”

“It’s cute actually,” He was playing with you.

“Aren’t you going to tell me why you think I’ve been off?”

He tsked, “Now, where would the fun be in that? I wanna hear you admit it.”

You weren’t going to, “You’re the one who wanted to talk, you admit it.”

He pushed himself off the tree and stepped directly in front of you so that he towered over you, you had to bend your neck upwards to meet his gaze. He held your face in his hands so lightly, it was as if he expected you to break in his grasp.

“I admit to knowing that you saw me kissing that girl at the party, I saw you looking” You turned your head from him- pissed that he knew you were looking while kissing that girl but he snapped your head back to face him. “I was drunk, and she pulled me to kiss her, honestly I think she was wearing your perfume or something ‘cause I thought she was you. It’s not excusable I know but it’s the only one I’ve got, you’ve gotta believe me, dove.”

You didn’t know what to believe, whether you wanted to or not.

He searched your eyes for a reaction but you kept your face calm, the only sign of anything was your eyes flickering between both of his.

“I love you,” Your eyes widened. “I love you more than I’ve ever shown you, Y/n, and that’s all my fault because I should have told you. I can’t even begin to explain how fucking in love with you, I am.”

“Sirius-”

“Y/n.” He slightly shook you in his hands, “I need you to understand, Please. I wanted you to tell me that you loved me too, that it wasn’t just in my head. That you were jealous when you saw her when I should’ve gone after you, I wanted you to tell me that night or this week that you want me just as much as I want you. I was wrong, it was wrong of me,” He sounded breathless.

You couldn’t help it, your eyes flickered to his lips, you didn’t care anymore. His confession unlocked something in you that you just wanted to feel his lips finally, adoration filled your chest and any doubts about confessing were gone. He leaned down so that his forehead pressed against yours and your noses brushed, it was teasing.

He didn’t stop you when you nudged your nose against his and finally kissed him. It was a long, passionate, desperate kiss that left you desperate. Sirius turned his head and brought you so incredibly close, the kiss deepened and a heat rose from your body.

You smiled in the kiss and how long it’s been, you pulled away, your eyes filled with a new light, and you pecked his lips, “I love you more.”

“Impossible,” He kissed you some more before you joined your friends who didn’t bother to hide their cheeky smiles.

“How much did you guys hear?” You asked as you sat and leaned against Sirius on the blanket.

James’ smile widened with mischievousness, “Everything.”

The rest of them nodded and continued their conversations, as mid-afternoon turned to night, you and Sirius were the only ones left behind with the food as the others went out onto the dock, play fighting you saw James get tossed into the water by Remus.

“I know we weren’t into labels before, but I’d like to make it known that you’re my mine now,” Sirius whispered in your ear.

His words sent shivers down your spine, “Oh is that so?”

“You were as good as mine, Y/n,” Sirius confessed. “I was the idiot that didn’t make it clear enough to let you know how much I want you as my girlfriend.”

“And this is you asking,” You said it more as a statement.

“Unless you don’t want to be which is hardly believable with the way you kissed me earlier- honestly, Y/n- you’re quite the kisser, I always knew you would be but Merlin,” He spoke with an exaggeration to compete with James’ dramatics.

You lifted your body from him, sat on your knees, and straddled his legs, crawling up to meet him, “I would love to be your girlfriend.”

He chuckled, grabbing onto your hips “My little temptress,” He stroked his thumb against your cheek lovingly, kissing you softly. 

[am-i-interrupting]

Alastor ideal type in partner headcanons? I've been thinking about this and your one of the few writers I see that write alastor as close to canonly possible as can be and I really appreciate that in your writing so I knew I'd get a pretty close and accurate answer on this😭 hopefully you can get to this when it's okay for you but when you do thank you so much!!❤️

Aw, thank you, I’m so flattered!

Now, we know Alastor is for sure in the ace spectrum in canon and potentially on the aro spectrum as well and as someone who is on both of those, I have thoughts.

I think that Alastor would fall under the aegosexual category and be slightly sexually repulsed. He’s not completely thrown off by the idea of sex but I don’t feel like he would be very comfortable viewing himself in a sexual light and even others.

As someone who relates to Alastor on several levels, I feel like he would have a similar view to sex as I do. Kind of the opposite of projection here because I do think it makes sense for his character. Where it’s less about the act of getting yourself or someone off and not even about pleasure but about the ability to cause a reaction from someone that not everyone can cause. That will obviously play into any sex life you may have and thus you’d have to be okay with him not viewing you sexually even within a sexual context and more like a test subject.

Then his possible aromantic orientation. Whoever would be with him would have to be okay with him saying the words “I love you” and not being able to describe what that means. Once again, less projection and more if I feel like this thing about me also fits him. The lines between romantic and platonic in society are so rigid and the things he feels fluctuate. He knows he loves you differently than say Niffty, Rosie, or Charlie but it wouldn’t necessarily be romantic, more so bordering on it, if that makes since. Again, hard to describe.

Now in terms of a partner, some absolute musts:

Must be willing to cause chaos.

Must test his limits/challenge him occasionally.

Must have a similar moral code to his own.

Must be able to find entertainment outside of modern technology.

Must be alright with not knowing everything about him.

Some preferences:

Enjoy jazz.

Knows how to dance or be willing to learn.

Join him in hunts/killings.

Be strong headed.

Have traditional manners.

I think generally he would like someone who is very stubborn which will both provide him with entertainment and cause him to become his own. To be challenged in how to do things or how he sees things.

He’d need someone who would be willing to indulge and encourage his behavior. But perhaps due to that stubbornness be able to also reel him in.

Alastor has been described several times I believe as having a moral code to his killings. Obviously this will be a strong moral code as it tells him who to kill. This is not something he would budge on and if you do not agree with his moral code you can say goodbye to being romantic with him.

Being able to find entertainment outside modern technology isn’t as hard as some people believe. Whatever happened between him and Vox was at least the final nail in the coffin for him about modern technology and it would not be allowed in any of his spaces or when he’s trying to be intimate with you in any form being emotionally or physically.

He will not tell you everything. Some things (like his emotions towards you) he cannot describe. Other things (like his deal) he will refuse to elaborate on if you even know at all. The same is true for you. He knows when to not push. He’s good at reading people but he also trusts you to come to him if you need help and he expects you to return the sentiment.

[linkspooky]

Hello again, I have something to say about the way you post Gojo and Geto's relationship. I hope im not bothering you, and I'll try not to repeat myself

I reread the scene where Gojo and Geto were dancing together (chap. 3) and I think you did a very good job expressing how, despite their closeness, they weren't able to truly reach their hearts (it's not possible due to their line of work)

I think you did it very creatively when you used mathematical metaphors

(you used other metaphors I just forgot to make a screenshot of them :'D)

I think it gives a really clear image of how, despite Gojo's efforts (or anyone's efforts really) he's not able to touch their heart, he only sees with his six eyes the "skin" (soul) but not the "blood"(heart).

Even when it comes to Geto, the one he considers and equal and deeply loves (whether it is romantically or platonically), he's not able to fully understand him, despite Geto displaying himself "naked" in front of Gojo. Despite them not having boundaries, there's a space between them no matter how much Geto tries to reach for Gojo's heart. Gojo will always be a step ahead from him, because he didn't allow himself to connect with anybody. (I think the way you worded it could mean that Gojo has his infinity on, which also represents that protective barrier he has put for himself to avoid anybody trying to reach his heart willingly or unwillingly).

ALSO, you portrayed very well the miscommunication in their relationship and how they never addressed their feelings for each other in this screenshot, with these particles that denote ambiguity:

it's never clear to us (well, it is, they love each other, we all know, but Gege's intention was it not to be clear for us) or for Gojo and Geto themselves. They don't talk about it. They can't. They can't allow themselves to be vulnerable and love each other. Not the strongest sorcerers. Not when love is a weakness. Yet... they still want to be close. They still fight to reach for one and others' heart, but Gojo does not allow Geto in. He can't do that, not to the one he loves.

It's like Gojo knows that Geto is not as emotionally detached as he is and doesn't want to destroy that, not Geto's biggest virtue.

(They were so doomed omg☠️)

Hello think you for sending more comments, I'll try my best to give you detailed author's notes since you put so much thought into your comments.

reread the scene where Gojo and Geto were dancing together (chap. 3) and I think you did a very good job expressing how, despite their closeness, they weren't able to truly reach their hearts (it's not possible due to their line of work)

One of the main themes I wanted to cover in this fic is Gojo and Geto's inability to understand one another despite the fact fact they are each other's one and only friend they can never be more because they don't understand each other. It's like, one theme I tried to get across in this fic is Gojo has a god complex, and he sees Geto as the same as him and he can't comprehend that Geto is only human and can have human flaws and do bad things like any other human. Because Gojo sees himself as fundamentally above others.

He also misunderstands why Geto makes him feel accepted. The real reason is that Geto sees Gojo as a person and accepts him for who he is, but Gojo believes it's because someone who is the strongest they are each other's one and only equal. Something he doesn't realize until the end of Jujutsu Kaisen because he tried to find understanding and satisfaction but he couldn't find it in Sukuna who was the only one as powerful as him and then he confesses to Geto in the afterlife that the only thing that would have satisfied him if Geto was still alive and said goodbye to him. And this is Geto in his monk robes who already fell and became a curse user Gojo would still accept all of him.

I think this quote beautifully sums up my attitude towards Gojo and Geto's relationship, about their fundamental ability to touch each other no matter how much they reach out.

Someone who doesn't want to be saved is like the setting sun sinking into the mountains. No matter how you hold out your hand, there's no way to reach them. There was no way to reach him. It doesn't matter how strong you are, so long as you are alone.

Which is why the fic is called Expoential Decay because as you observed an asymptote is a metaphor for the infinity that doesn't allow anyone to ever touch Gojo. Also since this a post Hidden Inventory fic, Gojo now has his infinity up all the time which makes him even more different from Geto. Whereas in the past he used to drop his infinity because he trusted Geto to protect him.

I also wanted to show neither of them are able to deal with their trauma or even be open and honest about it with each other, which causes Gojo to drift away from Geto and be blind to Geto's mental spiral and the first cracks in their friendship are showing now. Yet they both continue to look away because they're so desperate to hang on to each other they don't want to acknowledge there's a problem.

ven when it comes to Geto, the one he considers and equal and deeply loves (whether it is romantically or platonically), he's not able to fully understand him, despite Geto displaying himself "naked" in front of Gojo. Despite them not having boundaries, there's a space between them no matter how much Geto tries to reach for Gojo's heart. Gojo will always be a step ahead from him, because he didn't allow himself to connect with anybody. (I think the way you worded it could mean that Gojo has his infinity on, which also represents that protective barrier he has put for himself to avoid anybody trying to reach his heart willingly or unwillingly).

Geto wants to confide in Gojo and is probably more open to him than anyone else, but Gojo's inability to see himself as human and accept human weakness makes him fundamentally able to see that Geto is legitimately struggling. As I mentioned above Gojo was satisfied by Geto not because they were equal in strength but because Geto is the first person to ever treat him as well... a person. I think Geto wants to be seen as a person too, to be loved in spite of his flaws, to be able to show weakness in front of Gojo but Gojo is deliberately blind to that.

As I said that Gojo does accept Geto in the end but doesn't realize it until late in life, just as Geto thought their friendship was over after he defected but actually Gojo's feelings never changed in all that time. They both have a fundamental misunderstanding of one another, because they're both insecure about their relationship and don't want to talk. I think they're both afraid of being rejected by the other too, if Geto rejected Gojo there would be no one left to understand him and vice versa.

In some ways, Geto and Yuuta were the same. Geto was too sincere. To someone like him, the reality that the world of sorcerers presented to him was just too cruel.

'...that in a world like this, I couldn't be truly happy from the bottom of my heart.' To live for the purpose of being yourself. And for that goal, Geto could only continue to pursue his twisted dream, drowning himself in the curse that lies in the gap between ideal and reality. This was the final confession of a man who could only choose to warp himself, who had erased himself in pursuit of his goals. The only person who could bear such a curse was Gojo Satoru.

Another quote from the Jujutsu Kaisen light novel proving that in the end their insecurities that ruined their relationships were unfounded, Gojo accepted everything about Geto. But Geto couldn't see that until he was literally on his death bed.

It's never clear to us (well, it is, they love each other, we all know, but Gege's intention was it not to be clear for us) or for Gojo and Geto themselves. They don't talk about it. They can't. They can't allow themselves to be vulnerable and love each other. Not the strongest sorcerers. Not when love is a weakness. Yet... they still want to be close. They still fight to reach for one and others' heart, but Gojo does not allow Geto in. He can't do that, not to the one he loves.

I think that's what it ultimately comes down to, Gojo and Geto love each other but they can't show their weakness in front of the other. Geto hides his mental spiral from Gojo for a whole year, and Gojo can't see it because he thinks Geto's place is standing on top of other people with him. Gojo is unable to see his own humanity which makes him unable to see Geto's humanity also and his human weaknesses.

At the same time, I portray Geto as the most painfully human character in the story despite the inhuman acts of cruelty he's capable of committing. It's his inability to divorce himself from his own humanity and his inability to exist in a dehumanizing system that kills him eventually.

I also wanted to display Geto's deep ability to sympathize with others, which is why he notices Michi's distress and he's the only one to reach out to him whereas Gojo actively bullies Michi for his weakness and has like almost zero sympathy for him despite the fact they're family. At the same time, Michi tries really hard to see Gojo as a human being and understand him even though he has a difficult time.

Gojo just can't connect to others because he can't get over himself, that's the central theme of this fic lol.

[just-a-carrot]

"Send my love to your new lover, treat [him] better. We've gotta let go , of all of our ghosts; we both know we ain't kids no more." anon here

I should have probably clarified that I meant "love" in a more queerplatonic sense, but yeah, what you described with Orlam seeing it as them having a sort of queerplatonic bond meanwhile Genzou essentially was leading him on(queerplatonically)+taking advantage of him as a source of support despite at the same time still being mean to him(probably partially also as a way of harmfully venting his emotions) is how I personally see what happened between them too!

As for why people often misinterpret them as exes, I think it mostly comes down to the unfortunately common phenomenon where people aren't aware of queerplatonic love and/or make any kind of strong bond between characters immediatelly romantic. Like dangggg two good friends(they were not infact good friends but thats besides the point right now for the sake of the argument) CANNOT platonically dance together on prom night huh

ahhh this was really lovely to read! I really love this interpretation

I've always felt like... obviously Orlam didn't fully understand himself growing up (well none of them did). and I do think he would have really strong feelings about ppl. though I think many of the feelings were different. which made it even harder. but he did want to be very close to and loved by those ppl he felt most strongly about. and he would form these incredibly strong attachments in his mind, to the point that his hopes would alter his reality a bit

genzou meanwhile was Going Through It, both in coming to terms with his blindness and sexuality and getting abandoned by his best friend he has feelings for. the only one who reached out during that time was Orlam. who in Genzou's mind was taking advantage of his disability but Genzou was so starved for compassion he went along with it, letting Orlam get way too close and exacerbating Orlam's hopes that something would be possible between them...

never mind the fact that both of them just kinda knew the other one was queer even though they never said it out loud and thought they were the only ones, increasing their isolation...

and then all of that ofc building up to after prom...

and all of that disaster

ahhhh...

I tried to throw in a lot of lines all throughout the game that I thought would help put some of the puzzle pieces together on both their viewpoints of what happened (and their differing interpretations of what happened lol)

overall it's just a really complex dynamic 💦

I truly am open to all interpretations though (of anything in the game, including them) and I love being surprised and intrigued when ppl present new ones or new theories etc. especially as I know sometimes ppl use the chars and their struggles to work through their own struggles and experiences and I'm so touched if any of my chars can be a help to anyone...

mostly I'm just like HUH? if I see different interpretations presented as fact on some semi-official site 🤣🤣

anyway I rambled a little bit but I really love what you've written here. I agree with many parts of it!! even though I've never thought about some of it in so many words before (hence the joy of discovering new interpretations!! LOL)

[tinyjellyfishy]

I know people are going "KISS HER!!! WHY DIDN'T THEY KISS!!!" about that imodna conversation, and I would have been extremely happy if they did! But I'm a little saddened because calling for that feels like it misses the explicit and incredibly queer message given by their relationship because it's looking for what's been defined in expectation to be love. It misses the power that exists in undefinition.

"It transcends words, our relationship."

"You are my strong foundation." "You're my tether."

"i love you so much." "i love you more than anything." They say this while they're hugging. They punctuate this incredibly heartfelt and world-defining love by holding onto each other tight like they'll never see each other again. Women who fight for the other and have saved each other again and again. This is love. This is a love confession.

It just doesn't end with a kiss.

There is an undeniable love and care. You cannot miss how devoted these women are to eachother. It’s simply a fact. But Laudna says it herself: their relationship is beyond definition. Beyond label. It is all encompassing, all surrounding, like being soulmates. And Laudna says it doesn't have a label, because their love just-- is. Not friendship, not dating, might not call it a QP, not a mere partnership, not anything but Laudna and Imogen. Just look at it. They don't NEED to kiss to tell you how much.

I will fully admit i'm greyroace with a tenuous understanding on love despite being in my own relationship: specifically the lines in the sand between platonic and romantic feelings and what either entail. There are SO many psychology theories on various typings that frankly the best conclusion you can come to is "love is love slashy-face :/" it's all a nebulous strange connection humans being make. Love is beyond definition because man fuck, what the hell are we talking about.

And yet, without understanding it, love is powerful. It's the connection that makes two people think about living away on a horse ranch together peacefully, the kind that makes them plunge into eachother's personal hells to lead them by the hand to sunlight. It's cuddling in the night while holding eachother's hands. And it's Laudna and Imogen's. They’ve said it outloud: they are the other's better half to a better whole, and more important than anything else. You can't deny that. And it’s so wonderful to see such an incredible relationship. It doesn’t NEED to have The Big Kiss as its overture.

A kiss is not the grand thing of a relationship; weirdly, a lot of writers tend to completely STOP the story at The Big Kiss and not be able to let the characters have a functional relationship. Laudna and Imogen are unbelievably intertwined, they LOVE EACHOTHER. There's no "will they won't they" tension or dancing around the idea of dating and being girlfrienda and the squee of hot goss (which i do still enjoy btw c2 was very fun for many reasons). They are so wholly comfortable in the other. Like the old type of love between long time married couples, the kind where it's so ingrained it's simply routine. Sometimes prone to insecurity and bumps (rocks.) but every relationship has that, and the great thing is that their other friendships are there to support them, just as important to rounding out their circles, unlike some stories that would sacrifice or flander them. for the sake of the love story. They're Imogen and Laudna, Laudna and Imogen, close with their friends but eachother most of all. Imodna IS canon. Its arc is just something that isn't about what we'd call the romance of it.

It feels like demanding they needed to kiss in order to officialize(?) their love enforces a strange binary that makes their relationship lesser and unrecognized as meaningful unless they engage in traditionally romantic gestures. It's the same societal allonormativity that places a false hierarchy on romantic versus platonic relationships, that dismisses "Do you really think we were meant for normal?" Laudna asks. Isn't that ambiguity and lack of definition what queerness is for?

If they kiss in the future I will be very very happy! If you make them fluster and awkward in ur funnie fictions go wild. But maybe I've just been recently fatigued with fan culture in general ignoring the beauty and complexity of various relationships and character stories because of this narrow idea often rooted in an overemphasis on shipping culture. Denying the value in the forest because it didn't have your specific tree.

[robotslenderman]

Pls do Wendy, cock robin and calebros pls

Wendy:

favorite thing about them Will Jack Sparrow her way through shit. Has poor impulse control. Ballsy. No survival instinct whatsoever. Makes her a blast to write.

least favorite thing about them This doesn't really spotlight until the RS sequel fic (although it does show up in RS), but she puts her own needs above her principles. Even though she did eventually speak up about the Kennels in RS, it took her ten years to get there, and she never once tried to strike out on her own. She's afraid of being lonely, of being on her own, of dramatic change, and in her next fic that's going to show up and test her big time. And she is going to fail that test. She angsts a lot about being a good person but, deep down, she does not want to be. In the City that Never Sleeps she joins the bad guys who murdered someone she knew. Pre-RS she never left the Warren despite the Kennels deeply distressing her, until she had something else lined up. And in the upcoming fic she's close friends with a guy who's done some pretty bad shit and... does nothing, bc she misses him when he's not there.

favorite line I honestly can't be bothered to check. XD

brOTP I love her dynamic with Thomas Arturo. Whenever I start writing them in a scene together they just bounce off each other and have the best banter. I have to cut so much of it out bc it's mostly just blatant self indulgence lmao. Gerard Rafin is a VERY close second. She'd do well as platonic life partners with either of them tbh.

OTP Despite the chemistry she has with quite a few characters there's never been a romantic connection that's really jumped out at me. I mean, I ship her and Thomas romantically too, but only because their platonic chemistry is so great. The romantic aspect takes a backseat and doesn't hold a candle to it.

nOTP I love her and Gerard and I know people ship it like hell but for some reason whenever I consider the possibility of it when writing Wendy just gets super squicked out. I don't even know why.

random headcanon In a daemon AU, she has a ferret as a daemon: absolutely batshit insane, no attention span except when she's hyperfocusing on something that will probably kill her, constantly gets into shit she shouldn't.

unpopular opinion It's not unpopular YET but she's not nearly as ethical as RS paints her to be, and ohhh boy I'm hoping I don't get too much backlash for that in the sequel fic :X

song i associate with them Clubbed to Death -- The Matrix OST

favorite picture of them Alas, there is none.

I was getting deja vu then realised it was because you'd already send CR and Calebros in before and I never finished the draft for that, so here we go:

Cock Robin

favorite thing about them

Disabled Justicar. Badass. VTM isn't exactly known for its equity.

least favorite thing about them

Obsessed with Anarchs. We all need our hobbies I guess.

favorite line

Out of the ones I wrote for him?

"[Calebros] never learned to be a real Nosferatu because he’d never learned to be human."

brOTP

I love him and his baby sister okay

OTP

@orodrethsgeek ships him with her OC Jay, the vampiric equivalent of that black bird that dances for its mate, and I love them

nOTP

Can't think of any.

random headcanon

He's either very flappable or very *un*flappable. No in between.

unpopular opinion

I barely know of any opinions on the guy

song i associate with them

There's a scene I wrote with him and Wendy in the last chapter of the fic and when I was playing it I was listening to this on repeat:

The End -- Hans Zimmer, The Dark Knight Rises OST

favorite picture of them'

Absolutely ADORE this one:

He just happens to be a normal dude whose face is Like That. I love it, I love the cigarette, I love how he looks so thoughtful with a face that can't even make facial expressions, it's so humanising.

Calebros

favorite thing about them

Not a complete dick. It's a low bar but most Kindred have shovels.

least favorite thing about them

Gerard Rafin's right, this guy does think too much and do too little.

favorite line

One I wrote, where Gerard said something in French and Calebros went, "did he tell me to shut up?"

(Yes. He did.)

brOTP

Don't have one.

OTP

Don't have one. Tho I'd be interested to plonk him in a scene with Aisling, I think they'd get along well.

nOTP

Don't have one.

random headcanon

Canon acts as if he turned out fine but the Kennels screwed him up far more than he or anyone around him realises, and is a big part of the reason he's so passive.

unpopular opinion

I find him a bit dull, but I don't think that's a bad thing for him to be as a character. I wouldn't change that about him.

song i associate with them

None in particular.

favorite picture of them

I genuinely find this one funny:

[wutheringmights]

apologies in advice, i doubt this makes much sense, it is the product of a couple weeks occasional dot points or sentences, it is rather rambly, rather loose and just my thoughts. there is a little bit about ancient greek in there but not much, sorry. it is largely unedited, but i have cut out the most rambly/nonsensical parts, and so without further ado: Throughout ancient Greek plays and stories, we see lives tossed away and wars fought over love, but conflict and corruption of the family still exists. We can see it in the family of Menelaus, when priorities of victory overcome love for a daughter, something which is punished by Clytemnestra when she murders her husband. But in Euripides’ Electra, the author questions this murder and subsequent treatment of Menelaus’ children. We are asked what crimes we can commit against family and still be valued, and yet no answer is delivered. We are asked what is a family when familial love is withheld. Cause and effect is clear and every character brings their own tragic reckoning upon themselves and this, i believe, is echoed within your work. Your work features a perversion of brotherhood, love and violence in the relationship of warriors and the train kid, one which questions what love is and what it can be when morality is cast away under the guise of war. In both cases, war is not a result of or a boon to love, but a corrupting force. Love and hate are painfully close together and in your story the characters dance across the line in a tango nearly indistinguishable from a battle. The ancient world poses tragic love as something of beauty, martyrdom as the peak of romance, but when to love is to die, what is it to hurt and harm? With every waking moment being life and death, love becomes an all-consuming agony, an ephemeral blaze unable to last til morning. One of my favourite things that this perversion and reframing does is that it questions the very constructs of love, familial, platonic, and romantic, especially under the lens of toxicity and broken concepts of love. We see it in Lincoln and link, with the bond of blood broken, and other constructs of familial support lost to link during the war of eras. And then later he receives familial support through the other heroes, a taste of familial love then strained by, well, the plot. And within the story he is allowed unconditional love and guidance, judgment, and disparagement, yes, but room for growth, for change. He is giving constants that will protect and care for him when it comes down to it, and is that then what family is? With this concept of family, we can now examine the clusterfuck that is our three heroes during the war of eras, specifically that between Engie and link. The love between them is made condition and fluctuating, it isn’t an object of support, but a twisted distraction mangled into the form of a coping mechanism. The determination to be there for one another is near completely absent and because of it the engineer like… dies or something? Basically, it sucks. This contrast then asks us what is different, what in link’s perspective and experience has changed to allow this? The war? Distance from duty? The loss of the engineer? As a reader questions and analyses each change, they slowly begin to build an understanding and a concept of what love is, when it can exist and how it can be both corrupted and redeemed. One gains insight into how tragedy comes to be and are able to view the forces which converge to pervert what love is in our minds, for they are lonely places and can so easily become stifling.

This:

The ancient world poses tragic love as something of beauty, martyrdom as the peak of romance, but when to love is to die, what is it to hurt and harm?

And this:

The love between them is made condition and fluctuating, it isn’t an object of support, but a twisted distraction mangled into the form of a coping mechanism.

Made me SCREAM. This analysis is beautiful. Thank you so much for thinking so highly for my work <3

[bluedalahorse]

17 and 18 from the Fanfic Writer Asks!

Before I start, the ask box game is linked here in case anyone else wants to ask me something.

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

Two learnings! Food and fashion!

A food-related piece of information to start: somehow I ended up reading about kåldolmar (cabbage rolls) and how they are allegedly linked to time in the 18th century when Carl XII was staying in the Ottoman Empire. Apparently (according to what I read at least) they’re a Swedish adaptation of dolmas. Which is kinda cool to learn, especially since I’m someone who likes food from the eastern Mediterranean.

And now, fashion: Because I’m writing something set in 1809, I did end up reading about clothes closures, and the different ways that clothes were closed with pins and drawstrings and the like. I think spicy scenes in fanfic tend to fall back on buttons a lot, whether those fics are historical or contemporary. But strings! Laces! Pins! Imagine the ways they can be used to amplify the spiciness content, whether that’s through humor or through sensory surprises or whatever else. I’m just saying.

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

Oh gosh. I have a few lines I really like, but I like them so much I want readers to discover them in context. So instead I’m going to grandstandingly share a few passages from Heart and Homeland, one for each of the primary viewpoint characters I write, and say what I like about them.

So anyway, to preview… queer-and-questioning Felice! Poetry-influenced Sara! Unreliable August! Protestant Kristina!

Felice

“My father is not easy to discuss while dancing,” Simon was quiet for a moment, as if letting the air swallow the entire topic of fathers. Then a boyish smile, almost shy, came to his face. “But I heard you and Wilhelm have met before?” Ah, so the smile was for Wilhelm. “Tell me about that.”

“We were six years old,” said Felice. “Mamma has been eyeing us all night. I swear she wants me to marry him now.”

“Would you? Would you consider it a love match if your parents arranged it?”

What a strange question, Felice thought. “I’m not a foreign princess and Sweden needs an alliance. So I couldn’t.”

“I couldn’t marry Wilhelm either,” Simon said.

Although Simon and Felice both laughed at the latter comment, Felice felt Simon’s hand twitch suddenly in her own, as if he were startled. What did that mean? The music in the background did not change key or tempo, as if the orchestra itself was pressuring her not to ask. 

So instead Felice only said, “Such a droll remark, Mr. Eriksson.”

It left her heart feeling sad and a little rain-soaked, after she said it. She needed more of their secret language to say Wilhelm has a hold on you and I would like to understand it more, if you judged us friends enough to tell me about him. But she was still only a baby babbling syllables in a tongue where Simon was more fluent, and now the progression of the dance was forcing them apart from one another again. Felice’s feet grew heavy, even as her steps remained perfect.

Okay, something I like about this passage is that Felice and Simon are bonding, which is something canon should give us more of. I like being able to play with the politeness demanded of Felice by society at large, versus what Felice actually wants to say in a conversation, and how she negotiates that.

Felice is also on the verge of discovering her queerness here—something that Simon already understands about himself and has language for—but that Felice doesn’t quite have words for yet. She senses a kinship between herself and Simon, but she doesn’t quite know how to articulate it. In the passages and chapters that follow, Felice discovers more about herself and begins to embrace it. I was very conscious to make platonic friendships an important part of her queer self-acceptance journey. Felice’s choice to elevate friendships to the same level as the romantic relationship she eventually becomes part of… that’s important to me!

Queer friendship hits different and sometimes it makes me sad when queer texts over-emphasize the romantic aspects of being queer while downplaying the platonic stuff. So I decided to write what I wanted to see in the world.

Sara

When Sara and Simon were children, their Pappa told them about the whales he’d seen on his voyages. Pappa narrated grand bedtime stories about the creatures, moving his hands and changing the volume of his voice so that Sara could imagine the suddenness of a splash, the massive arc of a tail breaking through the waves. If you were patient, he said, you could see a whale coming up for air. Sara used to cling to Simon as she listened, half scared and half exhilarated. For Sara to be able to sleep at all, Simon had to remind her that the whales couldn’t get them on land.

Secrets, Sara later came to understand, swam under her skin like whales swam under the water. They moved with just as much magnitude. Sometimes, for a moment, she could forget about a secret and it wouldn’t bother her. Given enough time, however, a secret needed air. It too would force itself to the surface so that Sara could keep breathing.

Sara is probably the POV character I write who is the most influenced by the work I’ve done in poetry. My MFA advisor last fall really worked with me on images, and we spent a lot of time studying image systems in novels-in-verse. I’m pretty sure these two paragraphs were influenced by that study. Like, whales = secrets. Okay, Blue.

Sara’s memories play an important role for me in shaping her motivations and core emotions. I like including lots of glimpses of what her and Simon were like as little kids. I know we’re all hoping to get more Eriksson family backstory in season 3, and I hope for that too, so it’s something I try to include in my writing. As difficult and horrifying as things probably got with Micke at times, I think it’s also important to show moments where he’s taking care of Simon and Sara and being their father. These memories are now sad and bittersweet for Sara because of Micke’s abuse, and  they’re also an important part of understanding her and how she views herself.

August

He cast his gaze in another direction, where Sara Eriksson was curtseying to Prince Wilhelm and taking her leave. Thank goodness those two would not be dancing another set together. Now why was His Highness going off on his own again? Didn’t he understand that you could win over influential families by flirting with their daughters? And if Wilhelm was going to be king someday, August thought, he ought to have at least one mistress, for the sake of convention. Though August would never say such a thing to his cousin the queen, he could not understand why Wilhelm so insisted on cultivating a chaste appearance. It made no sense, given his position.

Anyhow! If everyone wanted to dismantle the social hierarchy this evening, why couldn’t August ask Sara Eriksson to dance and make Felice feel as slighted as he did? He wouldn’t of course, since Miss Eriksson had started the trouble between him and Felice in the first place, and August wanted to prove he could avoid such trouble. Flexing his fingers, he made his way through the crowd, toward the doors that opened onto the garden terrace. If he was going to let himself pine and rage, he might as well do it in the darkness. The English Lord Byron, with all his poetry of ill repute, could only approve of such a pose.

OH AUGUST. I wrote this passage as an homage to Susanna Clarke, whose descriptions of Lord Byron in Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell had me in stitches. Clarke is divinely talented at writing self-important men and their warped perspectives of the world, so I find myself inspired by her a lot when I’m writing from August’s point of view.

August is not a reliable narrator, obviously, and I like playing with how his perceptions of events change with time. Like, no, Sara did not start the trouble between him and Felice; he started it and flirted with Sara. But of course, August is the most wounded ever, you guys. He is so brooding he could just write (bad) poetry about it. In the next few paragraphs (not shared here) August’s thoughts start to drift toward more in the direction of Freudian death drive ideations (maybe with some Freudian sex drive thrown in, I mean why the hell not.) I found it an interesting writing challenge in terms of transitioning over-the-top ridiculousness toward the more more serious stuff that sort of hints at the traumatized core of the character.

I highly encourage that every Young Royals fan (who can do so from a place of emotional safety) try writing from August’s perspective at least once. It is a solid exercise and you will learn a lot from it!

Kristina

As a devout monarch, Kristina knew that the world to come offered far more than the world she’d been placed in charge of. The Lord had brought so many of her dear family members home to heaven—her father, her husband Ludwig, her cousin Karl Johan, one unnamed daughter who only lived three days, and most recently Erik. Especially during the Easter season, Kristina could push through the hollowness of her grief and tell herself that at the end of life, salvation waited for those dear to her. If anything had happened to her Wilhelm last night, however, it would have shaken her faith the way cannonfire might shake the windows of a building.

Wilhelm was Kristina’s miracle; she had thought of him that way since he was very little, fighting through his sick spells. At that age, when he felt well enough, he would sit at her knee in the evenings and listen to her stories of what she’d done as queen during the day. He would often repeat back the details of a particular state visit or conflict between nobles, and would do so in such a way that Kristina felt more equipped to solve the problem at hand. Then at night, Wilhelm would sleep with his arms tucked around a pillow, looking so angelic that Kristina couldn’t help reaching out stroking her son’s silk-soft hair in a way she didn’t when he was awake. No, she did not want Wilhelm among the angels just yet. So she thanked God, and then thanked Him again, and then asked Him to guide Wilhelm as he got closer to taking the throne.

Sigh. Kristina. You do love your son, you are just… so bad at showing it. And in this universe you are so, so very Protestant. I like how I managed to tie all that together here, and give this little flashback into who Kristina has lost and how she thinks back on her life. I often access a core emotion when writing each of my POV characters, and Kristina’s emotion is grief. I also think you can tell Kristina sees the similarities between Wilhelm and herself. Sometimes that means she sees him as an extension of herself, which is I think where the conflicts between them start.

Similarly to August, I highly encourage every Young Royals fan (who can do so from a place of emotional safety) to write from Kristina’s perspective at least once. She’s worth the investment of your writing time!

Anyway I hope that was all a fun behind the scenes…

[holydrakes]

Remembered that I used to be obsessed with SoMa precisely because they never explicitly got together or even confirmed to have anything going on (just UST if you pay attention enough) the ambiguity of the nature of their relationship is 'precisely' why I like them, not a source of frustration and why I read fics of them, it really was the reason I love them and why reading their fics and doujins were so much fun.

Back in the day, I did kinda take a relationship between teens unseriously and prefered my teen couples to take awhile to be together once they're both more mature and know what they are doing, and Soma definitely gave off that vibes. As teens they just had a semi-romantic friendship where they'd even flirt with each other constantly, and would even do stuff couples might do like go on dates or kiss each other (unseriously and anywhere but the lips) or joking about calling each other husband and wife to their friends every once in a while, and I can see them becoming official later after they're both adults. It's the way the story left off with their relationship clearly taking a more flirty turn but you can take as long as you need to imagine when exactly they'd realize their feelings for each other that makes the ship so fun to rotate around in the brain like a rotisserie chicken. Also the appeal of two friends who are so close and love each other so much that they don't need labels to know they belong to each other was also super appealing to me.

It's only in the recent years though that I noticed shonen action manga often have very lame hetero couples becoming official each time (often to the detriment of the female characters) that I started to wish Soma could have been official and Soul Eater could be the one action shonen people can sometime refer to whenever they ask for a series with a developed canon 'main' couple that treat both participants (especially the girl) with respect without making the whole series be about their romance (just their relationship in general especially when they're still mostly platonic) but due to their ambiguous nature I know SE can never have that kinda reputation since it will always require them becoming explicitly romantic for people to recognize them as such. At most you get: the manga where the girl and boy mains are just close friends at last (I can't brush aside the romantic undertones in their relationship though and won't really turn to SE if I want a series with a strictly platonic boy/girl besties. For me they'd brushed the line beginning with the first ep with the whole 'why do men cheat' spiel and the mind dance, and then officially crossed it with the whole 'call me an angel' nonsense. I'd rather call it, 'the manga I turn to when I want a cocktease between the main boy/girl leads' lol)

I also sometimes wonder, while I super love how ambiguous their relationship turned out and preferred it that way, if making their relationship this way hurts them more rather than help them. Shippers made up one of the most dedicated parts of a fandom and some might rather not be led on when watching a series and won't settle for a mere a cocktease.

[vampire-meta-knight]

Yes this!!!

I've been struggling SO hard with trying to understand what separates platonic and romantic relationships! Part of it is that good ol' ace and/or aro view of "I can just platonically date my friends because nothing has a stark definition so anything goes as long as it doesn't violate the boundaries of those involved."

I guess one thing I should say is that I struggle to find the defining line for myself, as allos will usually have boundaries between friendship and romantic or sexual relationship, such as only kissing, going on dates with, marrying, and having sex with people they're attracted to romantically and/or sexually. However, as QPR's and aspecs have shown us, none of those things are exclusive to those kinds of relationships. Platonic relationships can have ALL of those things and still be platonic. Same goes for alterous relationships.

When you're someone who views close friends the same way alloromantics view a partner, it becomes hard to find the line between the two, blurry as it may be, and I honestly can't say what would make me consider someone a partner vs a friend. I know the people in the relationship are the only ones who can define it, and likewise, a romantic relationship doesn't have to include any of the things listed above. It's all about what the people feel, but I just don't know what the heck I feel or how I'll ever know. I consider myself grayromantic, so it stands to reason I've felt romantic attraction before or will feel it, but I just can't define it in a way that sets it apart from platonic attraction, because I treat friends and potential lovers (I say potential because I've been happily single for years) the same.

Like, I flirt with my friends! One friend and I spank each other as a joke! I once gave a friend a lap dance, and we both thought it was hilarious! My friends call me their wife! My friends have a joke that I'm a harem protagonist and that I'm dating all of them! I'm perfectly happy with this strange dynamic and don't see a need to try to make it romantic with any of them.

The only thing I have to go off of is my level of attachment. I have some friends who I'm extra-close to and very affectionate with. So, is it conceivable that a future lover may be someone that I'm just super, super close to? That doesn't necessarily separate it from platonic, but is that at least how I'll know I want a QPR with that person? I don't know, it's still a bit confusing to me, and I've gotten to the point where I'm trying not to worry about defining it too much at all.

Other people's definitions make no sense, either. One friend told me that she feels the difference is that she can be honest with her boyfriend about the things he does that annoy her or make her angry, but she's less open about that with me because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. And I was like, "...But that's just being nice, though??? It's rude to point out every single thing someone does that annoys you???" It might be more so because she lives with him and not with me, and maybe you're more honest about that stuff when sharing a living space. I don't know, but that answer didn't satisfy me.

One of my friends who's also ace and in a relationship said that she doesn't really see platonic and romantic as different at all, she just knows she's happy with her boyfriend, and I like this answer better, though it still doesn't set the two apart aside from "general vibes."

So, I guess the answer that "it's all a social construct, do what you feel is right because it can't truly be defined anyway," suits me the best (same goes for my gender identity, so I guess it's no surprise I'd also view relationships like this). And if it's not a social construct per-se, then at the very least, it's a feeling that people interpret differently, and is perhaps most differently interpreted by aspec people. That may have been a long-winded way to circle back to OP's original point, but I just felt I needed to get this off my chest, because it'd been frustrating me that I just couldn't figure it out, and it made me feel nervous about the idea of trying to form a romantic relationship with someone in the future.

it really does bother me how no one can seem to answer the question “what even is romantic attraction, really.” like some people are like “it’s who you wanna kiss and cuddle <3” and I’m like ok well kisses and cuddles can be either sexual or platonic depending on context. “It’s who you feel passion/desire/arousal for” well that just sounds like sexual attraction which you can have without even knowing somebody so I fail to see how that’s romantic. “It’s who you want to go on dates with” I go on dates with friends all the time plus “date” is a social construct anyway there’s really no innate difference between a date and hanging out. “it’s who you have deep feelings for” great news for you that can be literally any type of relationship. my friend told me she defined it as “who you wanna give roses to” and I’m like do u hear urself??? like the more I talk to people the more I’m convinced romance and romantic attraction is an elaborate socially fabricated illusion that has no real defining characteristics. and like there’s nothing Wrong with it being a constuct but why people are so attached to defending the supremacy of it is something I cannot for the life of me figure out

[lfc21]

Ok hear me out: something where reader is an outcast who meets Rachel Roberts somewhere (book club, brunch, idk), and they bond over shared interests and wide knowledge of culture. One day they're hanging out at the Robertsons' when Robbo brings Trent to have dinner with them. She's on edge with strangers so he's only seen her a few quick times in passing, and haven't really talked. But seeing her that day so relaxed and carefree had him realize how sophisticated/attractive she is, and grows a crush? Reader's a bit older, and studying biological anthropology or something? I don't know, you take over the details, you're mind's way more organized!

The unexpected crush

You and Rachel Robertson had become the bestest of friends since the begging of the year. You both had a great fondess of books, but more specifically romantic books. Romantic books held what you urged to have but couldn't make happen, you had come close once with a man from your work but he just became a spiteful and worthless person to be around. Your life in Liverpool was very toned down you had your close group of friends including Rachel but that was it, the idea of venturing out and wanting to open yourself up scared you as your heart was let to be so vulnerable. Past trauma had sent yourself in a state of worry towards every small thing to happen but how could anyone else other than you explain that? To yourself you where damaged goods.

Mondays had always become quite bleak and stressful but today was a complete contrast to the regular Monday blues. The sun shined with great rays dancing on every object it could find, happy smiles where dotted on everyone's faces with laughter and memories being made. As this Monday had become something so unique you decided to take a day off and enjoy it as everyone else meant to. You and Rachel had decided to go shopping in the morning which resulted in a very huge dip in your bank account and alot of bags to carry. As the bright sunshine was still upon the streets of Liverpool you both decided to go back to the Robertson household.

"I think it's too hot" Rachel blurted out as her head rested on the back of the garden sofa over looking the still blue pool which had been decorated with an array of floats.

"I actually think im going to melt" you admitted as you felt every sun beam sit on your body causing a shine off glow to run across your collar bones and forehead. The hot weather was alright on holiday as it was something you payed for but this, well this was just unexpected and not needed.

"I think if I move I'll faint" Rachel said with a laugh as she felt every bit of sun on her body. You and had Rachel could spend every minute of every day with one another you where platonic soul mates. You shut your eyes as the feeling of the heat rested over you as a blanket. A tranquil atmosphere sat through the garden until an array of footsteps came out of the patio doors. You and Rachel looked up over to the doors revealing two very sweaty men looking for mischief.

"Hiya girls" Andy shouted as he carried on making his way through his garden. You loved spending time with Andy as you actually had alot in common but his best friend on the other hand was slightly more hard to crack. You had met him a couple of times with Rachel and Andy but everytime you and him seemed to get to nervous for comfort; a decent conversation was never really made up between you both. Although your nerves got the better off you around him you had developed a crush on the right back more and more, you knew this wasn't something you could pursue as he probably had lines of models waiting for him, you weren't like them.

"Hey" you and Rachel replied back in unison as you both sat up on the couch.

"Alright?" Trent asked as he came and plummeted down onto the seat next to you, he had this unresistable charm he walked with and held within himself.

"I didnt think you where coming home from training till later" Rachel questioned as she couldn't understand what they where doing here. You knew she had no idea as you where more than aware she would of told you if trent was going to make a surprise visit as she wasn't oblivious too the cheeky looks and rosy face everytime you saw him.

"Neither did we but it finished early" robbo replied back as his arm snaked round Rachel's waist as he sat beside her. There relationship was to die for, they where completely and utterly obsessed with one another and you couldn't help but want just that.

"Anyone want some food?" Rachel blurted out as she stood herself up whilst intently looking at you.

"Yeah I will please rach" trent politely replied back using her nickname due to there close relationship.

"Yeah go on then" Andy also added with a smile as he expected her service without any work put in from him, but Rachel had other ideas. She knew how much you liked him and there was no one who wanted this to work just as much as you than her.

"Babe help me" Rachel said with gritted teeth acting as if she had been pointing out the obvious for half an hour.

"What with?" Andy asked rather confused as to what his wife was talking about.

"The food you idiot" Rachel said with a laugh as she made her way to the kitchen not before giving you a cheeky wink letting you know what she was up to. She had an urge for you and trent to get together as the idea of double dates and little baby trents where stuck in her head.

"How've you been?" Trent asked as he saw Andy and Rachel finally descend into the kitchen.

"Good thanks what about you?" You politely asked back feeling a great level of nerves running through your blood stream. Trents leg was bouncing over his other causing you to feel slightly confused as to what he was so nervous about, unless? No, there was no way Trent Alexander Arnold had any interest towards you.

"Really well to be honest" trent said with a smile, those eyes fixated on yours following your every move. Trent had this effect on you in which you couldn't escape, his eyes where like addictive crystals and his smell gave you every sence of comfort and peace you had ever wanted. "What is it you where doing in university English-"

"Literature" you said finishing his sentence off ad you saw the confused expression he styled after the word English. Although trent couldn't remeber specifically you still got a wave of butterfly's at the knowledge off him remembering something about you.

"Don't you have to be all romantic and smart for that?" Trent asked with a laugh as he shuffled closer to you out of confidence. His accent was suffocating your every word making you want to bin the words and just kiss his soft and indulgent lips.

"I hope not as I don't think im particularly romantic" you replied back with a laugh as trents smile matched yours.

"I think I could change that" trent softly spoke through his lips whilst coming closer before andy and Rachel came bursting out of the patio doors with the array of snacks for you all.

"Ready?" Andy asked, he couldn't tell what had been going on but he could see you where both not quite right. You nodded your head to the Scotsman whilst running your hand through your hair trying to brush away any tension. Trent seemed perfect, he seemed like the thought what had happened was normal for him.

-

"No! That's not what happened at all y/n! I met you the day you found out your boyfriend was cheating and you where evil... I feared for my life" Andy shouted dramatically as you reminised over old times together. You and Andy had always had a brother and sister sort relationship which ment lots of banter and alot of arguments which where mainly petty.

"Oh yeah that might of been slightly true" you said with a tight lip smile and a deep breath in as you realised how much Andy remembered. You could always trust him to make you sound like the next serial killer of England. "He was a nobhead though!" You added wanting to clarify that every ounce of anger you had that day was valid.

"He sounds it" trent mumbled from opposite you with a dull look on his face. Your eyes fell onto him infront of you, the evening sunlight danced across his face as his dark eyes rested softly on yourself.

"He was" Rachel furiously said remembering the day you both found out about his huge mistake.

"You deserve better than that you know"Trent pointed out with a smile. Your heart seemed to become somewhat lighter at the sound of the words he was letting fall from his mouth. His eyes locked into yours, fitting into one another like a child's puzzle. Andy and Rachel where discussing something among themselves which you where seriously unaware off, all you could do was become controlled under his look.

"R-right I think I better get going" you quickly said making it clear it was time to go. Your head was spinning and there wasn't enough hours in the day to pretend not wanting to rip his clothes off and love him till the end of time.

"Alright darling I will let you out now" Rachel softly said with a smile as she pulled herself off the garden furniture.

"Cya later y/n" Andy happily said to you with a wave and a cheeky wink like he used to.

"Speak to you soon yeah?" Trent asked with a cheeky grin whilst looking up at your frame as you stood infront of him. You simply nodded with a delicate smile and a thumping heart.

"Bye everyone" you said sending one last wave to the two boys you had become very close with over the few years. "Oh and Trent... I want you to make me romantic" you said with confidence as you swung your hips away from him whilst walking towards the door. Rachel's mouth fell open as she couldn't believe the power you held in every word of yours. You couldn't see but trents face styled a huge smile at the words in which you spoke. Thank god for the Robertsons.

I hope you enjoyed this request! I really enjoyed writing this as I love writing about Trent and Robbo together. Please leave comments and requests as it is greatly appreciated. @prettylittletrent @cornertakenquicklyyyy @trentsko @trentshoe @trentalexanderarnold @robbo38 @robbothegoat @kostasstsimikass @chelseamount @chloereddy @hnrfc @tsimikas2l @avenirdelight @blueathens @jordanhendersunshine @mrs-henderson @thatonesexycancerian @henderson1truelover @nyctophilic0vitnir @peekapeaches @tsimikxs @tsimikostas @trentalexarnofan @leddows @moneymasnn

[sm0lprism]

Dancing with a Kaiju - Rumble 2021 fic

After watching Rumble 2021, I was somewhat disappointed with the lack of fic on here from the g/t community, considering the film in itself is just pure g/t. So, I decided to indulge myself and write a short fic about Winnie and Steve (purely PLATONIC, not romantic in any way, Winnie is a minor) with a good amount of g/t thrown in. This was just meant to be something short and fun, as while I loved the film, I would’ve loved even more goofy moments between these two as their dynamic is entertaining.  Synopsis: Set in between the events of the film, Winnie decides it’s time for Steve to take the reins and be her dance coach for a day. Antics and banter ensue (as well as g/t goodness!). 

“Come on Steve!” Winnie shouted into the sleeping kaiju’s face. “Today’s training will be fun, I promise.”

“That’s what you said yesterday,” Steve grumbled, his voice thick with sleep. “My bruises have bruises at this point. Just five more minutes, okay?”

Winnie exhaled loudly. Being Steve’s wrestling coach wasn’t exactly the easiest job, but she was determined to make this work despite the monster’s laziness. The entire Jimbo Coyle Stadium and her father’s legacy was on the line if they didn’t pull through with this.

Using one of his horns as a lever, she clambered on top of the monster’s face until she was just below his jaw. Being this close to someone as large as Steve, or any monster for that matter, was always unnerving due to the drastic size differences. Steve alone was the size of a building and she looked like a mere insect compared to him.

But she didn’t let the size difference get in the way of her coaching, nor did any monster wrestler coach.

“It’s time to rise and shine!” she yelled, pulling on his bottom lip exposing rows of jagged teeth. “When your coach says it’s time to get up, it’s time to get up!”

Steve peeped open one eyelid to quickly glance at her tiny frame on his chin. “Yeah? Make me, shorty.”

“Shorty?” She narrowed her eyes. “At least I don’t have a colossal sized ass.”

“Hey! There is nothing wrong with my behind,” Steve grumbled, his voice vibrating through her bones. “My butt looks great, thank you very much.”

“Then get that butt into gear and get up!” she exclaimed, slapping his face (which she knew wouldn’t exactly do that much, but she still did it anyway).

“Alright, alright,” Steve replied, picking up Winnie in between his fingers and gently placing her onto the floor. The kaiju picked himself up and towered to his full height, casting an enormous shadow over Winnie.

“You said this was going to be fun today,” he said. “So, what’s the plan?”

A playful smirk danced on her lips. “Today, you are going to be the coach.”

Steve’s face melted into a puddle of confusion. “Huh – I’m – what? Are you alright?”

“Yes, I am,” she answered with a grin. “Since we both know you clearly have talent when it comes to dancing, and, well, I’m not exactly the greatest dancer, I was hoping you’d teach me some of your skills so I can help coach you better.”

“Wow, I seriously wasn’t expecting that,” he murmured, perplexed. “I could show you a thing or two, seeing as your dancing is…well…pretty shocking.”

Winnie furrowed her brows. “Thanks.”

“Well, it is the truth.”

“Yeah, I know, I know. Let’s just get started.”

“First we need some good music,” he said. “You got that salsa playlist I recommended you?”

She pulled out her phone. “Got it.”

Music soon filled the training room, and immediately Steve started to get into the groove. Small earthquakes rattled through the floor at his enormous movements, and Winnie had trouble keeping her footing due to the tremors.

“The first thing with dancing is you can’t force it,” he said. “If you force it, it’ll look unnatural. You have to feel the rhythm and let it guide you.”

“Right, okay.” She finally found her footing in between Steve’s giant footfalls. She watched Steve’s massive frame move so effortlessly to the music; it was clearly very natural for him. Chewing her bottom lip, she tried to copy his movements. As energetic as her personality was, dancing wasn’t exactly something that came naturally to her.

“You’re, uh, doing something.” Steve suddenly leaned down to Winnie’s level. “I think I might need to step in here. Do you take partners?”

Winnie froze as she watched Steve press his index and middle finger into the ground, as if his hand was standing by itself. The hand ‘walked’ over to her and he extended his thumb.

“Care to dance?”

A chuckle escaped past her lips as she tentatively grasped onto his thumb. “Don’t mind if I do.”

“I think we’ll start with the basics,” he smiled. “Step forward left, then replace forward on the right.”

Steve’s fingers slowly moved forward and back, shifting the weight around on each finger. Winnie copied the movements. “Okay, we’re getting somewhere now.”

“Just remember to always change the foot from one weight to the other,” he commented. “You really need to put your weight into it.”

“Got it.”

A rush of happiness flowed through her as the two continued to dance. It was strange, normally she would be doing the coaching and instructing, but it was different being the trainee rather than the trainer. Especially since Steve, someone she had known since she was a child, was the one helping her. Not to mention she had never danced with someone this big before. It sure was strange to say the least.

“I think you’ve mastered the basics,” Steve rumbled. “Now let’s see if you can do the next step. Instead of moving your legs forward, move to the side.”

Steve’s fingers demonstrated the move; his fingers shifting from side to side.

“Side, replace, together. Side, replace, together.”

Sure enough, Winnie quickly found herself mastering the move. Her hips swaying from side to side to Steve’s instructions and the music.

“I guess you’re not so bad at dancing after all,” he grinned.

“Yeah, you better watch out, I might take that salsa crown of yours,” she smirked.

“Whoa, whoa, don’t get ahead of yourself. This is just the basics of all basics when it comes to salsa,” he chuckled. “You’ve got a very long road ahead of you until you get to my level.”

“Well, I would still watch out,” she said. “I’ve got a pretty good coach, too.”

A warm smile lit up along Steve’s features. “I could say the same thing – ow!”

“Oh, sorry!” she exclaimed, retracting her left foot. Somehow, she had managed to trample over Steve’s finger despite his finger being taller than her entire body. “I guess I just lost my footing. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s all good,” he chuckled softly. “Never thought I’d ever have a human stepping on my finger, that’s for sure.”

“I guess you could say I keep you on your fingers,” she grinned. “Instead of keeping you on your toes, it’s fingers because–”

“It’s okay, I get it.” He rolled his eyes. “Very funny.”

He continued to coach Winnie for another couple of hours. She soon discovered once he was in his element, it was almost impossible for the kaiju to break out of it.

“Now, for the next move, you’ll need–”

“Do you think we can call it a day?” Winnie puffed, not caring that she had cut him off mid-sentence, wiping the sweat that was beading on her forehead. She had not exactly anticipated to be this worn out from salsa training, especially with Steve as the coach.

Steve cocked an eyebrow. “Oh, is the wrestling coach all tuckered out? I seem to recall you making me train for even longer for wrestling. I thought we could go for a few more hours.”

Winnie’s face fell. “A few more hours!?”

“Just kidding!” he said, cracking a massive smile. “Oh, you should see the look on your tiny face! The utter dread and despair, it’s killing me!”

“I’m glad you find my misery so pleasing.”

“Come on, I never get to be the coach! It’s actually pretty fun, I can see why you do it now.”

She shook her head, a small grin tugged at the corner of her lips. “I’ll make sure to work you extra hard tomorrow.”

Now it was Steve’s turn for his face to turn sour. “No, you can’t be serious.”

She folded her arms over her chest, a smug grin plastered on her face. “Dead serious.”

“You are an evil little girl,” he muttered, scrunching up his nose.

“A true criminal mastermind,” she hummed. “Do you want to go get some Fro-yo?”

At the mention of the delectable frozen treat, the kaiju’s face shone like a beacon.

“Is that even a question? Of course!”

Half an hour later both Winnie and Steve had almost completely stuffed themselves full of Fro-yo. Steve had taken Winnie to an open field, just on the outskirts of Stoker, to lay down in the lush grass as they clutched their swollen bellies.

“We definitely went overboard on the Fro-yo,” Winnie spluttered, suppressing a burp.

“No such thing as too much dessert,” the giant monster gurgled. “But I may have eaten just a little too much.”

“Steve, you ate a tub of Fro-yo the size of a small car!”

“That’s pretty normal.”

“But that’s the largest size they had!”

Steve belched loudly, the piercing sound rupturing through Winnie’s tiny ears.

“Hey, could you burp a little louder next time? I think then my ears might actually explode.”

“Oops, sorry. Sometimes I forget how small you are.”

Winnie shifted onto her feet and began to climb upwards onto Steve’s massive frame. Cocking an eyebrow, the giant monster watched as the teenager scaled up his shoulder blade and made her way on top of his stomach.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” he chuckled softly.

“Getting comfortable,” she answered, lying down on the monster’s belly. “Your stomach is so soft. It’s great for my back.”

“Why would a girl as young as you have a bad back?” he asked. “It’s me who should have the bad back, not you.”

She flipped onto her stomach, fixing her gaze onto his. “It’s all that hunching over my study desk, that seriously messes up your back if you do it a lot.”

“That’s pretty concerning that your back is already screwed,” he muttered, his voice rumbling all around her.

A moment of silence passed between the human and kaiju.

“Hey, do you really think I’ve got what it takes for wrestling?” Steve said out of the blue, his face suddenly turned serious.

“Wait, really?” she said. “What makes you think that? You’re doing so well now that you’ve found your groove! I really think we can do this.”

“Do you really think that?” he persisted. “Or are you just saying that to make me feel better? You can be honest with me, Winnie.”

Winnie immediately rose to her feet and began marching along Steve’s massive stomach towards his head.

“Just what are you doing now?”

“Look here, mister,” she said firmly, both of her hands grasped firmly on his chin, her eyes locked with his. “I am being completely serious right now. I really do believe you have what it takes. Sure, your methods aren’t exactly the traditional method for wrestling, but who cares about that! The main thing is that you’re winning!”

“But I’m not sure I can keep this up,” he murmured. “I mean, who is going to take me seriously when I’m winning matches by dancing?”

“I thought you just wanted the money to pay back Lady Mayhem.”

“I – I – well, you see, um-”

“Hah! You are enjoying yourself.”

“No, no, you’ve got it all wrong-”

“I know when you’re lying.” She placed her hands on her hips with a very matter-of-fact look on her face.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine, you got me. I do enjoy wrestling.”

“Hah! I knew it,” she smirked.

A loud, deep grumble suddenly interrupted the conversation. It sounded almost like another monster entirely.

“What the heck was that?!” Winnie exclaimed, glancing around to find the source of the monster that had made such a noise. “That has got to be another kaiju. It wasn’t you, right, Steve?”

“Heh, actually, it was me,” he admitted with a hint of embarrassment. “Well, it was my stomach to be exact.”

Winnie’s mouth gaped open in shock. “Wait, so you’re telling me you’re still hungry after all of that Fro-yo?”

“Hey, I’m a big guy!” Steve said. “My stomach is essentially bottomless at this point. I could really use a colossal sized burger.”

“And that why you have such a colossal sized ass.” She shook her head. “We really need to work on your diet more.”

“Hey, don’t bring my butt back into this!”

[critical-derolo]

bandaging/stitching up an injury with Beau and Jester, romantic or platonic?

"Sorry that I'm out of spells," Jester says softly. The darkness of the night around them envelops the moment like an unending hug. The stars shine bright but so distant that their light doesn't touch the ground and instead illuminates the ocean of space above. The darkened outline of trees surround the little clearing the group set up camp in, with tall grass cupping their little campsite.

In the very centre of all the bedrolls and sleeping bodies, a small fire burns to keep the chill at bay. Its light dances in the blue and purple of their eyes, casting shadows over faces making them harder to read. And that's on top of Beau already being quiet and reserved.

She's not quite back to 100% after seeing her father. She hasn't bounced back yet - and she will. She will. This is Beau, and Beau always bounces back, and they all made her do it. Well, maybe they didn't make her but they wanted her to and they all knew there isn't anything Beau won't do for them. That's basically like making her do it.

Jester made her do it. And those blue eyes have been red-ringed and watery ever since. Her words have been sharp and growled out between clenched teeth. She's... she's... she's hurt beyond anything physical. Beyond what Jester can fix.

There's a grunt that could be pained or just grumpy, the tiefling isn't sure which. But Beau lifts and drops a shoulder lazily, hard eyes staring into the flames. "I'm used to it."

"I always heal you."

"From before, I mean," Beau mutters. She drops her chin to look at the bloody, jagged gashes clawed across her ribs. At the charmingly blue fingers pulling a needle and thread through the skin to close the wound until morning. "They only used magic if you were dying, back at the Soul. We can't heal ourselves so we have to be able to stitch up whatever doesn't kill us. Some bullshit like that."

Jester frowns up at her... friend. "I don't like the Cobalt Soul."

"I'm not the greatest representation-"

"You're extraordinary, Beau," she hisses out emphatically. Enough that the monk's eyebrows bump up in surprise and startled blue eyes finally, finally look at Jester. Actually see her, for the first time in weeks. "And they've never deserved you. I don't think they ever will."

"Yeah? And who does," Beau scoffs and shakes her head.

Jester's frown deepens and she tugs the needle maybe just a little too hard - her heart breaks when Beau doesn't even so much as flinch or wince. She's used to it. To pain. "Ioun, maybe," the cleric muses and feels Beau's inquisitive look. "I've been reading about the gods, you know, because of the Traveler, and the Wildmother, and the Moonweaver... the Dreamweaver? Shit, Beau, what is her name? Whatever, whatever, that doesn't matter."

Jester shakes her head and then her shoulders, like a dog coming in from the rain. But instead of shaking off water, she's shaking off the distractions of a separate thought. Entirely missing the way those hard sapphire eyes soften as they watch her.

"Anyway," she continues and pulls the needle back through Beau's damaged skin. The bruising around the wound is dark and worrisome but it should be fine until morning. "She sounds, like, super cool and I think you're everything she... I dunno, wants? Wants her order or whatever to be? But she can't have you."

Dark eyebrows pull together and Beau shakes her head along with Jester, trying to follow the line of thought. "No?"

"Nope! Not for a long, long time because we have you," Jester informs her matter-of-factly.

"Mighty Nein over the Cobalt Soul?"

"I meant people," Jester says and taps her chin. "You stopped a war, Beau. Do you even know how many lives that saved?"

"We all stopped-"

"You got Avantika's journal to the Plank King, saving all of us and stopping her from unleashing Uk'otoa! He sounds pretty bad if Fjord is that scared of him being free."

"Again, you all-"

"You confronted the hag for Nott, you saved the Shewsters' parents, you saved Kiri, you saved me and Fjord and Yasha," Jester's voice gets faster and faster until she's fully kneeling over Beau. Cupping those warm, dark cheeks between her hands and staring into those eyes she prays will never stop looking at her. Will go back to being soft, and warm, and playful. "And yeah, we were there with you but if you weren't there, we wouldn't have done it. It wouldn't have gotten done. So we did it but that means you did it, too. And I don't see those other stuffy monks out here changing lives."

The human licks her lips, her eyes flicking between Jester's as she sits there. Perfectly still. "Remaining unnoticed is kind of the whole point-"

"Beau."

"Yeah?"

"You're the pebble at the bottom a pond. You can only see the water, you can't see the ripples you've made."

"I'm Ioun's rock, then," Beau clarifies.

Jester thinks hard for a second and then settles back on her knees once more. Her fingers gingerly press around the stitched wound and she hums softly. "No, you're mine. For a long, long time."

The fire crackles and crickets chirp in the distance. Serenity falls over the campsite and Beau relaxes back into the side of the cart again. "What if she comes to collect?"

Without looking up from her work, Jester's reply is light and breezy but holds a weight that leaves absolutely no room for questioning. "I won't let her."

And having watched this little blue tiefling pull their friends back from actual death, march into an ancient, powerful hag's hut armed only with an old cupcake and come right back out having broken a curse bound in a cruel contract... well, Beau is inclined to believe her and feels a little more of that weight lift off her heavy heart.

[gorbo-longstocking]

hey! i really love ur fic and am just a thirsty little flower and you water me with your skeletons <3 question tho: when the slow burn has finally burned itself down, describe the cuddle pile logistics, if u think that’d happen :0?

WAAAAAH IM REALLY GLAD YOU LIKE MY FIC THATS SO SWEET 😭💞💕

ok the cuddle logistics! ive broken them down into how they are with platonic cuddling/touching and how they are with romantic cuddling/touching just in a general sense!

im really happy you asked because i am sitting on so many thoughts and headcanons right now, i want to unleash them. this was a blast to answer! :D

sans - in terms of platonic cuddling id say it takes him a HOT second for him to get comfortable enough to be super touchy feely with someone but after he trusts you casual touching is on the table like leaning on each other while waiting in line, sticking your feet in each others laps while watching a movie, and little squeezy sidehugs are all things hed do. with a romantic partner he will just lay on you 24/7 like a cat whenever the opportunity arises. especially if hes had a bad day. congratulations you now have your very own skeleton shaped weighted blanket

papyrus - oh he is all about platonic hugs, cuddles, and everything in between. kind of guy to pick you up and spin you around when hes excited. he is very casual with his touches, always having a hand on you or something. he loves to pat your head, your hair feels cool and he would love to try and style it in some way (no matter how much or how little you have he will find a way). romantically he manages to be even more physically affectionate and will also start carrying you places like a ferret. he likes to hold your hand while driving, one on the wheel the other tangled with yours.

blue - platonic touching is a double edged sword for blue because on one hand he is all for it on the other hand he is so painfully awkward (an unfortunate side effect of sansism) he feels like he is crossing some unspoken boundary between you two so unless youre very communicative of your comfort he will dance around anything beyond greeting hugs. romantically, hes still very attentive to your boundaries, but he is much more loose with his affection. he is SUPER domestic, hes always loved the sappy stuff from romance movies, so he tends to default to that. he likes to twirl you around, hug you from behind, and gush about you to anyone who listens. a full cuddle session is hard to get out of him, not because he doesnt want to, he just cant sit still. i hc he has adhd which plays a part in that.

stretch - in terms of platonic cuddling or touching he is a very laid back guy. you can lean on him, lay on him, or cling to him all you want, he doesnt mind at all. he wont initiate anything until you do though, hes lax with his boundaries, but hes aware not everyone is. stretch also has a tendency to slap the nearest thing to him when he laughs really hard ranging from his knee, to the arm of the couch, or the shoulder of whoever is closest to him. romantically though, you would need the jaws of life to remove him from your side ESPECIALLY while sleeping together its almost like he coats himself in gorilla glue before latching onto you.

red - platonic cuddling is not really his thing, he feels very vulnerable in that position which makes him uncomfortable. hed have to be VERY close with you as a friend or just VERY tired to really get all in the cuddle zone. while hes sleeping he will just hang onto the closest warm thing he can find. romantically, thats not a problem. to be in a relationship with red, hes gotta trust you a significant amount anyway, so its no longer a factor. hes kind of possessive and loves showing off his partner so he’ll have an arm around you in public (he is your scary dog privileges) or playfully knocking into you while youre walking around together. he really likes to hold you while hes watching tv. i hope you like rick and morty.

edge - platonic cuddling is not really his thing, even touching is weird from him. he is not used to being that open with someone. he will grab your shoulders or have a hand behind your back to steer you places, either out of his way or out of harms way. he absolutely instinctually puts arm out to catch someone when he hits the breaks too hard or before crossing the road. romantically he is not a fan of pda but in private hes kind of a sap. at first he wont ask to cuddle or hug he will just stare at you until you do it and VEHEMENTLY deny wanting it. as he gets more comfortable in the relationship he is much more open about what he wants, though there are some things youll have to juice out of him.

lord - literally do not touch him. platonically youd be VERY VERY hard pressed to get anything out of him that isnt the worlds most stiff and awkward hug or a pat on the back. if you initiate anything, it depends on how close he is with you. he will either remove you, or stiffen up completely for like an hour before relaxing. romantically, its not much different. you are welcome to lay on him or touch him all you want (he silently likes the contact) hes used to his brother’s mode of affection, but hes still not used to dishing it out himself so hes still SOOO awkward about it. give him time, he’ll get better about it.

mutt - the only difference between cuddling as his friend and romantic as his partner is if you are romantically involved he has wandering hands. he literally lays down on anyone and everyone he can in the craziest positions. on the couch, in the car, upside down, in a hammock, on the roof, on the floor of the grocery store. hes just a very tired, very touch starved dude. hes the kind of guy to try to trap you in bed when you have to get up in the morning to do something and whine about it as you try to pry him off.

general cuddle pile: can be broken up into the ones who are all for it and the ones who are not.

papyrus, red, mutt, and stretch are totally cool with melding into a giant mass, theyre pretty comfortable with affection towards each other as a family and having you involved would be pretty epic. it’d probably only happen during a movie night, a game night, or watching a show. (red isn’t comfortable being affectionate towards everyone in the family, just these three and edge despite the fact being affectionate with edge is like lion taming)

sans, lord, edge, and blue will pass on the cuddle puddle. lord and edge are just uncomfortable with that much mass affection, sans is absolutely mildewing with guilt and will continue to mildew about it for an eternity so until he gets blasted with some healing its out of the question, and blue has a very hard time sitting still and he doesnt want to disrupt things so he will not join. he is more than happy to sit on the sidelines though!