#dan is naked for some reason

[flowerafterhour]

since democracy isn’t real i made them both be the golden pig.

[dmitriyuriev]

A collection of some of the hands I drew this year!

[sxcchxrine]

closer | dan heng x reader

content warning: nsfw, possessive dan heng, biting, praise kink, dan heng being a little feral — this was inspired by closer, reader is afab but will be using masculine terms with some gn terms too. ( pretty/handsome angel, attaboy, etc ) i don’t write smut often

mdni

“attaboy…” dan heng purred as he traced his thumb over their lips, his eyes taking in his mate’s delicious expression. swollen lips, their eyes filled with lust and their whimpers— it all was so delicious to him. his tail wrapped around their body as he pressed against them. he once again pressed his lips against theirs. his tongue ran over their lips savoring their flavor. dan heng slowly kissed down their jaw, cheeks— ears and soon his lips started to run down their neck. (name) stifled out a moan as they shuddered feeling dan heng’s fangs.

“use your voice angel. i want to hear you.” dan heng was trying his damn hardest to not lose control, he just wants to push (name) on his makeshift bed to claim them— to taste them. though in that moment (name) moaned softly, and hearing their ragged breathing made it so much harder to listen to reason. if he’s being honest— he’s on the verge of losing his humanity. his instincts calling out to him as it screams ‘claim them’. dan heng bit down on their neck his tongue licking up the blood that dripped from the wound.

then (name) uttered his name. “h-heng…!”

fuck.

he snapped, all rational thoughts left his head. he needs them. he craves them.

dan heng couldn’t hold it in and his true form started to appear. from his horns to his tail, it all happened so quickly. (name’s) hands traveled up his back gripping his shirt. their scent drove him mad. “sorry…sorry.” he whispered knowing that he’s going to fuck them until he’s satisfied.

he pulled them close for another kiss, it was messy— feeling his tongue touching theirs sent shivers up his spine. (name) was so responsive, each touch made them shiver in delight. they felt dan heng’s hands roam and grope their body; pull at their clothes. it all happened so fast that both them and dan heng was half naked. (name) opened their eyes and stared at dan heng. his face was flushed, eyes glowing and filled with lust— need. though there was something more animalistic about his expression, it was mixture of desperation, desire and some type of possession.

“you look so handsome angel…so pretty.” dan heng softly kissed them again. his hand ran down to (name’s) waist to pull down their underwear. dan heng lowered himself. he kissed down their thighs, gripping their leg as he lifted it up to look at their core. “so wet…” he bit down on their thigh, kissing and giving small hickies as he moved closer to their core. his tongue flicked at their clit and suddenly gasped. (name) grabbed his horns, their hands gently rubbing the tips and slowly tugging at it. that made him whimper.

he gripped their thighs a little tighter and started to suck on their clit. (name) started to tremble and their grip on his horns got tighter, they moved their hands to his hair and tugged at it. they felt dizzy and good. the way dan heng’s tongue felt against their clit then him licking their folds— (name) couldn’t help it but to moan. they gotten louder and louder.

“i’m— ..! i’m going to cum !” (name) whimpered. their voice barely above a whisper. though that feeling building up was pulled away. dan heng stared up at them, his eyes were dilated he looked so sweet and innocent like this but (name) knows that this was the calm before the storm. dan heng’s eyes quickly turned into slits as if he was a predator that found its prey. dan heng moved from where he was and pulled them towards his bed, pushing them down onto it. his tail snaked around their body.

“need you…i need you so much.”

(name) looked at dan heng’s face again, this time he looked desperate and needy — he wants them so fucking bad. he bit down on their neck and moved down to their shoulders then chest something leaving kisses in their wake. not a few moments later he pushed his cock inside them. dan heng leaned down, his lips lightly brushing against their lips. “i love you…”

[trashyvanillabean]

For some reason, while I certainly believe the Zhuming's weather is probably not too different from other Xianzhou ships, I can almost imagine that it probably still has the warmest temperatures compared to them. (Kind of like living a bit closer to the equator than most other places.)

Jingliu: "I'm melting."

Dan Feng: "I'm steaming."

Baiheng: "I'm roasting...and A-Yuan's half-naked."

Jing Yuan can't say anything because he's passed out from the heat.

Yingxing, on the other hand, is perfectly at home.

[obv10usly]

The initial shock has subsided and now I just want to put some of my thoughts into words. (And also because @calvinahobbes said I should put this on tumblr so I will.)

I love that dan and phil feel easy enough to do this with/for us now. They don’t care how this could be interpreted anymore. Just two gays comfortable in their own skin. That’s all that matters.

I love that a lot of thoughts went into the staging of this shoot. There’s the obvious strategically placed stuff to cover the bits, of course. But also they filled it with things specifically meaningful to each of them. Stack of YWGTTN, “my soul” candle, and the moon mirror for dan; the golden pig and houseplants for phil.

I love that for all these years, they’ve always found a way to have fun with April fools, doing something creative that has shock value but without being offensive, or hurtful to anyone, especially their own loyal audience. It’s just not in their nature to be mean 🥺

I love that they don’t care how it reads, but the message they’re sending with this is also loud and clear. These are two (now) openly gay men living with each other for over ten years and now own a house together. Getting naked in the same frame for a jokey shoot shouldn’t be that big a deal. It’s what’s been implied all along.

I also love that we don’t care how it reads either. The phandom has matured past caring about being cringe. Well I might choose not to show anyone irl their April fools joke this year, for obvious reasons 😅, but damn I’m proud of them.

[bidisastersanji]

Was talking with @anniilaugh about would be the funniest/stupidest reality tv shows for Sanji and Zoro to meet at so here’s a few ideas and please feel free to add your own lol

The Bachelor: hopeless romantic Sanji as the bachelor being courted by Gin, Pudding, Ace, Pedro, Violet, Katakuri, etc (all the other ships) as well as a debt-ridden Zoro who was pushed by Nami to sign up to try and get prize money (in this instance you can get a lot of prize money if you’re chosen by the bachelor and leave, or you split with him if you stay or something?) the ANGST as Zoro gets a very bad first impression but fights to stay on (for the money) and tries to charm his way into Sanji’s heart, only to start falling for him too . Sanji would struggle SO much deciding who to give roses to lol. pudding would be sweet and kind to him but calculating/ manufacturing drama behind the scenes.

Survivor- now you’ll tell me how dare you put Sanji on an island to starve again and to that I say- this time he’s prepared and he’ll forage and fish and is doing it to prove to himself he can/that he’s over his trauma . He and Zoro are on opposing teams at first and then get to know each other at reunification

A baking/cooking show for non-professionals, with Zoro as a contestant and Sanji as a chef judge . Alternatively, Sanji as a contestant on a pro one and Zoro is a celebrity guest with the difficult palate they need to please

Fort Boyard: Sanji freaking out with the bugs and spiders, the team losing their mind because all the instructions they scream at Zoro through the door are being carried out in the exact opposite manner, both parties impressing the other with their feats. Fort boyard is a show for half-famous people so it could be fun if they’d heard of each other before/are each others celebrity crushes

Mister Universe- mister France and mister Japan meet and fall in love Ehehe

The bi life/any dating by the pool type dating show: Sanji is a hopeless romantic and Zoro got signed up by Perona. They butt heads at first

The Amazing Race: established relationship ZSZ , fan favourites, always arguing and getting lost because of Zoro, the underdogs

Love on the spectrum: Zoro, swords and sword fighting special interest guy meets Sanji, romcoms and cooking special interests guy

Too hot to handle : Demi!Zoro signs up thinking it’ll be a piece of cake since there’s no way he’ll develop feelings for superficial people like the ones that usually come into that show, he’ll manage to stay celibate no problem and get away with the prize money easy . Enter Sanji, and all his plans go to hell

Queer eye: zoro is the « hero of the week » and Sanji is the food and wine expert, need i say more?

L’amour est dans le pré(love is in the field)/Farmer wants a wife husband: farmer zoro and city boy Sanji

Naked attraction: this would actually be super hilarious if for some reason one of them didn’t fully read or understand the concept of the show being full frontal nudity as the basis for selecting a partner

My mind is going wild with the possibilities but you get it lol- what shows did I miss ??

[hyperbole-smut]

I'd like to tell you the story about how I met my first boyfriend and then had my first threesome, in that order, but I don't remember most of it because I was overstimulated. What I can do is give you the parts I do remember, and maybe you can stitch them together into something coherent.

Okay, first off, I'm a bi male, 6'0", of Arabic descent and extremely shy. My girlfriend, who instigated the threesome, was straight, 5'3", and mixed Hispanic (I'll call her Dee from here on out), and she has a thing for men who are a lot taller than her. My boyfriend was 5'8", and what Americans call redbone, and we just call red (I'll call him Dan from now on). The reason for giving the descriptions will probably help explain how things progressed the way they did, or not.

Dee's birthday had passed a week before, and my own was only a couple of weeks away when she said that she wanted a MFM threesome, since I had missed her day. She just happened to know a guy who would be willing to be the third, and she invited him to come over today to do it if I agreed. She spent the morning walking around in just some lacy panties, and would occasionally sit in my lap to try to comfort me. After about three hours of waiting, Dan showed up, and I got my first look at him. He was pretty enough, especially since I have a preference for guys like him, but that's what made me nervous. I was, and still am, closeted, and I didn't want to get into a situation where I could watch but not touch something I wanted. He, on the other hand, kept looking at me, even though Dee was there with almost everything on display.

Dee took the lead then, and undressed us both, even though I tried to hide my erection and made it more difficult for her. She then told me, in an authoritative way, that I would do everything she told me to, and I agreed without thinking. Dan, on the other hand, hardly looked at Dee, instead glancing over at me as he got most of his clothes off on his own. I remember thinking that he's probably laughing at me in his head, but he told me that he was trying to see if what Dee said was true and that I did have the bigger dick (lengthwise, no, but I am thicker than he is, and according to them both, it gets bigger once it's in).

Once we were all naked (I don't know when her panties came off, but I do remember that I was the only one standing and trying to cover myself up) she got onto her knees and said that she wanted to try fitting both of us into her mouth at once. Dan stood right next to me, and I could feel his skin touching mine all along my right side, and I didn't know whether I wanted to put an arm around his waist or to pull away. He didn't have the same problem, though, and wrapped one arm around me and took hold of Dee's head with the other. As she started licking both of our shafts, I tried concentrating on the sensation, but Dan's hand started to wander down. By the time Dee managed to get both of the heads in her mouth, his hand was cupping my ass, and I was having trouble concentrating. Dan was rocking slightly, and I could feel his cock rubbing against mine while Dee played with them both.

She stopped after a few more minutes, I think, and then told me to lie down on the couch. She then motioned to Dan, and he lay with me, our legs intertwined and our cocks right next to each other. Dee then kneeled next to the couch and started jerking us off together, occasionally licking up the precum that she didn't rub over the both of our shafts. I remember that I was still nervous, and it took me longer to get ready to cum because of that, but Dan didn't have that problem, and started moving against her hand (and me) again.

When he came, Dee kept going, but she paid more attention to my dick, and she made me start cumming before he finished. She then licked up as much as she could, and pulled us both into a sitting position. She put her hand behind my head and pulled me into a kiss, and I was absently grinding against Dan as I got my first taste of our mixed cum. Ske turned away from me, without breaking contact with my face (causing some of the cum on her cheek to smear against mine) and gave Dan a similar kiss. By then my inhibitions were mostly gone, and when she turned both of our faces to each other, I traded my first kiss with another man.

While I was getting caught up in the kiss, Dee found that this was extremely erotic to her, and she leaned back to start fingering herself as I started getting into what I was doing. She kept it up until we both felt something warm splash against us, and saw her flailing around, squirting and still trying to rub her clit. As I leaned over to her, Dan's hand came down between us, and he started rubbing both of our shafts again.

I was fully hard again by the time Dee calmed down, and she pulled me down and onto her, saying she wanted me inside right now. I didn't waste time, and once I fully entered her, she wrapped her legs around me and she gestured to Dan. I felt him move off of the couch and behind me, but it was only when he and Dee spread me open that I guessed what was going to happen.

Feeling him slide into me, with some of our cum and his own precum acting as lube, was almost a holy experience. The feeling of being filled, while being wrapped in the silky tightness of Dee, made me feel like this was where I belonged. Being embraced by the both of them, as well as the sensation of Dan moving inside of me, was more than I could process, and I simply enjoyed the sensations until my partners came. Dee came first, clawing at my back and grinding her clit against me as she tightened and tried milking the cum out of my cock before I was ready. Then Dan thrust himself as deep into me as he could, and I felt the heat in the pit of my stomach before I came, and Dee bit down on my shoulder to keep from screaming in ecstasy.

I don't remember much after that, but they recorded parts of it and we watched them for our second date together. Among the highlights was Dan cumming on both of our faces and me licking her clean, Dee holding his face down onto my cock as I came, Dee riding me as Dan pounded into me behind her and finally all three of us lying on the floor, sticky and limp after cumming all over each other.

As a final note, Dan is gay. He wasn't even interested in doing anything directly with Dee, since he prefers Arabic men over Latinos, but she wanted me to have my first experience with another man for my birthday so she called him. He never let Dee do anything for him during our first threesome, unless I was also directly involved. Later on, Dee would insist that we all share a bed on the weekends, but that was mainly because she enjoys watching two men fuck. I didn't mind then, but once the three of us broke up, I find sleeping by myself very lonely. I hope you enjoy it, and that you can probably make something coherent out of this.

This was a cute and fun read 🤗 Glad you had such a positive first ecperience, both in a threesome and gay experience 🩷

Hope you've found the peace and opportunity to be open today, and that you are happy and confident in yourself 🩷

[misc-obeyme]

Hi CC! Hope you’re doing good. 🐚🦀 here!

These past few months I can’t help but ponder the demon brothers’ sock-wearing habits, especially for sleep. So here are some of my notes!

Lucifer: Old man vibes old man socks, through all seasons except summer because it might get too hot.

Mammon: One that changes depending on the temperature, cold means sock and vice versa. Although I do think that he’d get those really thick and fluffy ones to match his hair.

Levi: Going with the entire “reptiles are cold-blooded” thing, socks. All day everyday and season, he needs all the warmth he can get. Probably gets ones with his favorite characters on it but never wears them for preservation purposes.

Satan: No socks all year round but is someone (you/mc) gifts him a fair of cat ones he’s either going to try and preserve them or wear them until they have holes.

Asmodeus: Given that his preferred outfit for sleep is just… nude I’d say no socks. Unless if he wants to tease a shy mc, maybe something along the lines of: “Oh don’t be so shy mc, darling. I’m not completely naked now am I?~”

Belphie: I’d say that Belphie really doesn’t have much of a preference. He’s the demon of sloth and he is a professional in every aspect. Although I do imagine him sleeping with inly one sock to get a better temperature range when sleeping.

Beel: I can see him wear really fluffy socks like Mammon but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary. Will try to eat the socks with food patterns.

I’m not too sure about the dateables but Solomon’s definitely giving old man vibes and I dan see him getting socks with funny patterns. Maybe Luke also wears them because he’s scared of the monsters under his bed nipping at his feet.

Hope this was a fun read, what do you think? Would love to compare notes, and have a great day!

Well hello, 🐚🦀 anon! It's been a minute since I've seen you in my ask box! I hope you're doing well!

I am staunchly against wearing socks to bed... I like to be FREE lol. (To this end, I also don't wear pants. It's all oversized t-shirts for me.)

Anyway, I totally see Lucifer as a sock wearer. I mean, we had that whole saga in the daily chats about his missing socks. You can't tell me that old man doesn't cherish his socks. So I fully agree with you on that one lol.

I was under the impression that Mammon also sleeps in the nude? I think there was a daily chat where he said he only wears Devilish No 5 to bed which is a freakin' perfume. He's such a dork but for some reason that makes me love him more. But I also think that Mammon likes to be comfortable, so I think he'd wear socks (and possibly other pjs) if it was cold. Also you know I don't think he could handle sleeping nude with MC (at least not at first) and I also think he often sneaks into MC's bed. So therefore I tend to imagine him as being one of those pajama pants and tank top types. So I think he would absolutely wear socks if it was cold.

YES to cold blooded Levi always!! If they had animal forms and Levi could become a lil snake I think it'd be SO CUTE if he just curled up inside a sock. I'd carry him around in his little sock in my pocket all day tee hee~ But anyway, I very much think that he's always cold and needs socks all the time. If he's in demon form, he should have a tail sock too.

Satan can't resist the cat socks. I don't know why but I agree with you that he wouldn't wear socks to bed. He would probably find them irritating lol. He should still get a tail sock though just because that's adorable, but his is like... I mean I know we all kinda headcanon it as bone now, but it looks like metal. That thing would probably shred a sock.

Oh, Asmo. Definitely only wearing socks in order to tease MC, I agree with that 1000%. I mean you could wear socks if you sleep nude I suppose, but I think Asmo would prefer to go sockless in such an instance.

Oh yeah I think Belphie could sleep no matter what anyway. It's probably just whatever's most convenient at the moment.

I don't know why, but I kinda headcanon Beel as being naturally very warm. Just absolute furnace. So I see him not really wearing socks to bed. Though I like the idea of him wearing fluffy ones because that is super cute lol.

Diavolo wears Lucifer's socks to bed. Nobody can convince me otherwise.

Barbatos for some reason strikes me as a no socks type. I don't know why. But he also needs a tail sock because wow that would be so adorable I think I'd combust. He would only wear something like that if MC got it for him, though, I think.

I think it could go either way with Simeon. I think he's probably one of those who wears socks depending on the weather. If he's cold, he puts some on. If he's not, he doesn't. It just makes sense.

I agree about Solomon and the patterned socks. I think he'd find that amusing. I would try to find him socks that have pact mark patterns on them because I personally would find that absolutely hilarious. This is because I have a terrible sense of humor, but I think he'd indulge me and wear them lol.

Ahhh Luke wearing socks to protect his little toes from getting snatched is so cute! Headcanon accepted.

This was a fun read, thank you for bringing it to me! It was fun to think about this! I hope you also have a lovely day!

[dapg-otmebytheballs]

SAY THE PARASOCIAL THING SAY IT

Aksjfhk okay

This got super long but basically I was thinking about that post about Phil being more open in his boundaries and I think he actually always has been! More under the cut

I think Phil has actually always been more self-assured in his interactions with the audience and I have some idea(?) of why that is. Phil has been around forever on YouTube, he is kind of a performer in a very classical way. You can see this in like how he carries himself in his liveshows, using very basic tenets of performance that we're taught like face the audience always and fill up any lulls in the conversation. There is always a screen between the creator and the audience, of course there is. But the culture we see now of internet celebrities and their audiences having very little boundaries because of how accessible creators have become to audiences wasn't as prominent back then. You understood as a creator that your audience will make whatever they want of what you're saying and you can't account for any bad faith readers. Phil always came across to me as someone who knew how much he wanted to put out there and was self assured in it. He doesn't feel the need to clarify stuff, and likewise engages with fandom in a similar good faith. What goes on in his life and what informs his thoughts, beyond what he shares, is none of our business, that was an understood thing and he's left it at that. And what fandom talks about, how we interpret stuff, how we do our parasocial shit is also not meant to be more than a performance, it isn't supposed to Say Something Serious about the creators, which is also understood. And though of course audience interactions started getting wildly out of hand some years after Phil started posting, he still is a product of a time where that wasn't how things are meant to be and he maintains that distance with ease. Thinking about stuff like draw Phil naked where he engaged with it in good humour, or how he didn't mind having sponsorships and clickbait titles because there's an implicit understanding that this is All A Performance so he doesn't have to try and "act authentic". There's a confidence he has in his role as an entertainer, and that informs how he interacts with us. (also I had expressed this all much better earlier but Tumblr ate it up so now I have to type it again sorry if this reads weird ;-;)

On the other hand, Dan seems to worry about all that stuff a Lot More. (And I was apprehensive about saying this so I thank anon here for allowing me to say my parasocial shit XD) And the thing is, the reason I notice that is Because I am literally like Dan about that stuff when interacting with an audience (I did some videos as well yeah, but also when I've organised events that I had to host, or presented poetry somewhere, etc etc) where I constantly feel the need to qualify everything I say and do very worried I'll come off as being maliciously bad, or even perceived as being a certain way or having a certain tone when I don't. I find it in rather positive ways with Dan too (like correcting language in old videos or pulling them off when there's something in there that aged badly or could be seen in bad taste). But other times I see reflected in him my own tendency to overcompensate (self referencing how he is making Easy-Content a la 'some shit a youtuber would do', making sure he doesn't come across as having the wrong political opinions by stressing on his principles when something like that comes up 'don't settle for neoliberalism' ((also he is totally correct and I actually do love those clarifications just fyi)) )

You can see this play out so well that time when Phil accidentally says 'cockies' instead of 'cookies' and Dan makes a 'cut that out' motion and Phil just laughs about it and corrects himself and Dan goes "Are you keeping that in??"

There's probably a lot of factors to why they have those particular styles of interacting, and really there's merit to both. Phil knows where the boundaries are and ever since him just speaking random shit hasn't had the extra issue of possibly outing Dan before he's ready, Phil has just gotten even more open with how he speaks, but I truly think he doesn't care as much what we think about him. It's like, what's going on in his life is none of our business and what we're making out of our parasocial relationship with him is none of his business, which is a great way of approaching being a creator and unfortunately something that is becoming less and less of an option as the culture shifts completely with generations that have been within this internet creator culture since they were born.

Dan having entered the scene later on when this kind of culture had started (plus of course his own issues that did Not help the situation) means that it made sense for him to approach us with that bit of hesitancy and that he continues to do so. I know I have that hesitancy about how I word things because I've also seen people be taken out of context and treated in really bad faith and that is a completely understandable thing to take into consideration.

But yeah Phil being the "quiet one" has never really meant that he is less certain/more shy to me, personally, I think he is an incredibly professional entertainer is the thing and I love love love that about him because he's of a dying species in the current climate.

[ectoplasmic-entity]

Could you do alphabet sfw of dark danny, since you did a nsfw one?

Oh, hah, I actually didn't do a nsfw alphabet, a past anon brought it up and I'd said I might do it one day. Unless you're thinking of someone else who did it? Although, if someone's willing to throw me a bone... 👀

SFW Alphabet Template

Dan Phantom SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Not super affectionate, in public that is. The less people are around, the more he'll shower his partner with it. He doesn't have a reason for it, in his mind anyway, Dan feels like it's the equivalent of stripping naked in public. He doesn't like being seen as soft and vulnerable. He doesn't voice out affection a lot, and as hesitant as he may be, he prefers the physical aspects. The longer he's with a partner, the less reserved he becomes. He prefers having his partner in his sight, within reach so he can pull them close. He feels the need to have his hand on them somewhere, usually on their side, shoulder, or even hip. He'll give quick kisses, nuzzles, and nibbles anywhere on their upper body. He of course, takes more time to shower his partner in private, sometimes in a painstakingly slow manner just to keep them close for a little longer.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Dan would basically be like that troubled kid your parents would warn you to stay away from. He's done a lot of questionable shit, in the same vein, it's because its fuelled by trauma and he doesn't know when to stop. If he actually likes someone, they've earned themselves a mostly dependable friend. He knows the ins and outs of the shadier parts of the Zone, knows where to get the "good" stuff, can be protective at times, gives from downright bad advice to some wise words in the silver lining. Dan will take interest in someone if they've shown that they're not afraid of him, and will watch from afar for a while.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Dan hates admitting it, but he is clingy. Particularly in instances when he and a partner have time to rest and have breathing room. And he wants them all to himself for a bit. His favourite manner of cuddling is having them sitting on his lap while he holds them close - just having someone on top of him no matter what position. Or, if they're laying down, his partner will curl into his side and he will drape himself over them.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Is it still on the table after laying waste to the entire planet over the course of a decade? Dan supposes he wouldn't mind some quiet and solitude with his partner. He's never "ran" a household, but he does like to cook on occasion to bring him out of a bad funk.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Dan has attachment issues, breaking up with his partner would be emotionally taxing. He'll become standoffish and hide away for a little while. Eventually, it comes to a head when his partner asks him what's the issue, he rationalizes himself it's like ripping the bandaid off. Once it's done and done, he'll clam up tight to try to control his emotions.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Sure, he might fuck around a lot. But once Dan has someone he genuinely likes and wants to stay with, all of his focus will be on them. No desire to get married at all, just being with his partner is enough for Dan.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Once he gradually eases himself into getting comfortable with affection and intimacy, Dan is surprisingly gentle. He wants it to feel good, so he'd rather not hurt his partner by accident (unless they asked him to). Emotionally, well, he's not great with them. He can try as best as he can.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Dan's really awkward about hugging. Most of the time, he doesn't initiate them. When he does, he does his best to not accidentally crush his partner / the other individual. His hugs go from one armed to a bear hug, but supernaturally enhanced.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Probably never. Dan cannot physically bring himself to say the words. In his mind, he knows he loves his partner. He prefers to express in other ways that don't require speaking.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Honestly, Dan's not the type to get jealous. He might be suspicious on occasion, but he trusts his partner. He may declare his partner as "his" on occasion, but nothing more.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Firm but passionate, he's had some practice 😉 Soft when he's in a mellow mood. Anywhere his partner lets him, although Dan's favourite body part to kiss is the neck. He enjoys being kissed on the chest, oh, and on the lips of course, he wants to get a good taste of his partner too.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Kind of awkward to be frank. Not overly paternal and more likely to treat them as a younger sibling than as his own child. He will be protective and make sure they know how to take care of themselves when they're older. Sometimes a child is inexplicably drawn to him, but Dan puts up with it since he doesn't mind it, much.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Slow and lazy, filled with a lot of sleepy mumbling and cuddling and nuzzling in bed. Most times, Dan gets up before his partner does. He doesn't have a consistent morning routine and will follow along with whatever his partner does.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights out when the sky's clear enough to see the stars. It's like a whole other reality to Dan, he finds it quiet compared to his daily activities. Exploring the depths of the Ghost Zone, there's all sorts of strange places no ghost has been before Dan discovered them. Back home, it's unwinding until the evening bleeds into night, sometimes it's having some "fun" with his partner 😉

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Dan's not the best with his emotions, certain ones coupled with trauma is too much for him. He will take a while, sometimes even longer than necessary, to open up. It usually takes a fair bit of prodding from his partner, along with the idea planted in his mind that he shouldn't be holding it all in. Over the course of however many days, Dan will slowly speak about whatever's bothering him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Surprisingly patient, Dan will tolerate a lot because he's had so much thrown at him, it slides off of him easily. However, there will come a time when his patience will wear thin.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He always remembers his favourite things about his partner, and mentions them frequently.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The fact that he even has a partner at all. He wants the feeling to last for as long as he can.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Quite protective, even if his partner can fight for themselves, and especially if they get hurt. Dan will hover over them for a period of time until they're back on their feet, and sometimes he'll go out and take care of the culprits himself. Dan doesn't need much protection himself, he's not the most powerful ghost for nothing.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Not a whole lot, since to ghosts, those kinds of things are arbitrary. Dan always remembers his partner's birthday if they're human, he just does. One of those small details. Since Dan also goes exploring the Zone a lot, he's always bringing something back for his partner.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Hiding his troubles, to the point his emotions implode. It... gets pretty distressing for both Dan and his partner. He has a bad habit of physically hiding away too. Lashes out when angry, he tries to redirect it away from his partner and somewhere else.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not particularly. The most Dan worries about is his hair.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Yes 🥲 He doesn't want to be left alone again.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

When the opportunity comes up, Dan loves taking a dip in the Ghost Zone's natural hot springs. To kick back and "relax", especially if his partner comes along~

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Dan doesn't like people who are too weak willed, or just can't handle his intensity. The life of a ghost isn't a walk in the park. He doesn't like bad hygiene either, odd as it may be for him since he's killed people. The thing is, he always cleans himself up afterwards.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Dan doesn't actually sleep. He can't, the darkest depths of his mind will rise up and torment him. That and ghosts don't necessarily need sleep, it's optional if they want to recharge ecto-energy. He watches his partner sleep through the night, since, well, what else is there to do? Dan almost always big spoons his partner.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Post Coming Out Universe Masterlist

Basically I'm Gay: Dan's True Colors (ao3) - trancelover99

Summary: This was it: The one video that would change his entire life. A part of himself that Dan pushed deep down for YEARS. With a little encouragement from Phil, Dan uploads his coming out video. But will he be prepared for the comments that follow?

Big crowds means judging eyes (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: From their hotel room Dan and Phil can see the crowds they'll encounter at this years vidcon. In a post-coming out world, comfort is needed for the prospect of many judging eyes

Devilishly Endearing (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan and Phil are making a mess in Karen's kitchen, luckily for them, she thinks they are cute.

from the starting line (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil visit Dan’s family for the first time in a post-coming out universe.

endings are like beginnings (ao3) - wiccamoody

Summary: Dan wakes up in the post-coming out universe.

hey, brother (ao3) - lestered (clonetrobed)

Summary: It’s time for Phil to reintroduce himself to Dan’s family in the proper context, but there’s one member that he’s not entirely confident about connecting with.

I Want to Hold Your Hand (ao3) - CaibrynM

Summary: A minor incident/misunderstanding while traveling to IOM for Christmas leads Dan to reflect on boundaries and comfort levels in the post coming out universe.

i’ll meet you in the light (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Phil looks at the photo and sees them how he sees them in his own head, not them as their larger-than-life internet personas. It’s them, happy and at peace with their lives and who they are in 2019. And he suddenly has the strangest urge to share the photo, to show the world how damn happy he and Dan are, despite everything that’s happened in the past.

i'm ready now (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” -Billy, age 4 (2 of 2)

Lighter Than Air (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: Dan and Phil are sappy drunks and they're heading home together.

little comfort card (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary. Phil goes to VidCon alone. Cue separation anxiety, something Dan seems to have accounted for..

meet the howells (ao3) - toffeelemon

Summary: After a decade of going home alone, Dan finally brings Phil along to see his family. As his boyfriend.

(set after the awkward email, before the video)

Nana (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: “The thing is, coming out to his family proved to be the easy part. It’s what followed that’s been difficult, more emotionally draining, more vulnerable. It’s like the invisible wall that’s been between them now has physical form. It has a name now.“

On The Road (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: Phil still isn’t quite used to it all being okay. He isn’t used to Dan not fearfully dissecting a tweet reply that called them queer icons. He isn’t used to things like what the two teenagers they bumped into at the airport said when they stuttered out, “I met my girlfriend because of you,” feeling only good. No twinge of bittersweet.

A fic about changes and landscape.

rainbow, proud (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Phil really wants the corgi shirt, but Dan thinks he has enough already

Safe (ao3) - TearDrop1234

Summary: Phil is in a mood and works his way through it with a naked Dan.

Safe Place (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: The Isle of Man is warm and unseasonably sunny, or maybe it’s just Kath. Maybe her maternal glow just radiates off this little island.

secrets (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: of sharpie tattoos and facing the bittersweet truths of a post-coming out universe

some killer queen you are (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan’s enjoyed taking a break from YouTube, but for some reason, he still feels like something is missing. Determined to fill the creative void in his life, he decides to try out something new: drag.

stop speak support (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: There’s just an extra layer of awareness in his mind as he sits next to Phil on the sparsely populated tube on their way to a meeting, and the group of lads in their school uniforms stream into the carriage and start filling up the empty seats.

Strike a Pose (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: Walking a red carpet in a post coming out world

words that water flowers (ao3) - neopold

Summary: He would call his nan and ask, like he usually does when life asks unanswerable questions. But she would most likely refer to a bible verse, and he’s not sure he’s up to listening to a book constantly trying to invalidate his existence.

your hoodies (come wrapped around me) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Unpacking for their move into bigger quarters, Dan finds an ancient treasure in the back of their conjoined closet.

[jymwahuwu]

I see the hc about the revealing clothes, imagine if reader (GN please) wear extremely revealing clothes that barely cover them. Like you know how some of the clothes barely cover the ... Part of the character right?

Imagine if some yandere had a problem with that but then reader said : "you think my clothes are too revealing? Some of us go naked each day! The fact that I wear these (not so good) clothes is already a miracle!"

And for some reason, even if they give reader more fitting clothes. Each time something somehow always manages to give it a cut which reveals most of their body!

LMAOOO why is this so funny🤚

Dan Feng may end up tying you up because your various clothes are challenging his visual limits… Jing Yuan keeps an open mind and welcomes you to wear these. You might piss off Blade… He's already tolerant of most attire… but… an almost naked outfit? No.

[godlizzza]

can we get Dan bottoming? I think he deserves it after all he's been thru

Dan had never struggled to ask for what he wanted in the past.

However, in the past he had never felt the want to get fucked up the ass, so it hadn't really been a problem. Now, though, it was a problem. He and Herbert had only just settled into a kind of routine that incorporated sex into their daily lives, so for Dan to ask for a role reversal felt too spontaneous, too unscripted.

For some reason he was convinced that Herbert would make a big deal about it. That Herbert would grin and tease him about his desires until Dan was so hot with embarrassment he would burn to a crisp. So, he resolved to keep it to himself. After all, he certainly enjoyed what they were already doing, so was it really a great loss that he wouldn't know what if felt like to have Herbert inside him?

Christ, just thinking about it got him all hot and bothered.

Herbert had clearly picked up on Dan's antsy behaviour. He cast him a look across the kitchen counter one night while he was scrubbing dishes. Dan had taken the opportunity to sit at the counter and watch. It was a rare sight to see Herbert so scrubbed down and domestic, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and soapy suds clinging to his arms, so he tried to indulge in it when he could.

His sweet musings were broken when Herbert said, "You've been acting weird lately."

This had Dan's hand falling from its place propping up his chin to slap against the marble countertop. "Huh? Me? Acting weird?"

"Yes," Herbert said, narrowing his eyes at him. "So, what is it? Was it something I said?" His voice turned mocking on the last sentence, pulling Dan's mouth into a frown.

"No. It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

Herbert turned his attention completely on Dan then, ignoring the dishes still piled in the sink to place his fists on his hips. "Don't be difficult, Dan."

"I'm not-"

"You are, so just tell me. Is it something to do with that experiment from yesterday?"

"No, Herbert," Dan sighed, running a hand through his hair. He was growing steadily warmer the longer this line of questioning went on. "It's nothing to do with the lab."

"Then what?" Herbert sounded exasperated, as thought Dan were being ridiculous.

And maybe he was. Weren't you supposed to openly communicate with the people you were fooling around with? Even if that person was Herbert? With another sigh, Dan tried to push past his embarrassment and get his thoughts in order.

"It's about us. And...sex," Dan admitted, his voice barely a whisper.

Herbert merely pursed his lips. "Alright. What about it? Let me guess, we're not having enough of it to satisfy you?"

"No," Dan shot back, heat shooting up his neck (though he certainly wouldn't refuse if more sex was on the table). "I was just wondering if you'd ever thought about, you know...switching it up?"

"How do you mean?"

Dan licked at his lips, which had suddenly gone dry. "I mean, like...have you ever wanted to-? Like, instead of me fucking you-?"

"Oh." Herbert blinked at him as though he'd been expected a far more complicated answer than the one Dan had just stammered out to him. "You want me to fuck you?"

Dan bit down on the stab of lust that hit his stomach at Herbert's words. He settled for nodding, trying to decipher the look on Herbert's face. The look that held no trace of mocking contempt. Herbert, instead of pointing and laughing at Dan for asking to get his ass pounded, simply shrugged instead.

"Alright," Herbert said, drying his hands off on a dishrag. "Did you want to do that right now?"

Dan nearly fell right out of his seat.

They didn't end up doing it right away. Dan had a shower first, during which he cleaned himself thoroughly and attempted to finger himself open. The idea of having Herbert do it--of prolonging any instance that would involve Herbert kneeling behind him and staring directly at his naked, spread open ass cheeks--was too much to consider. It would be simpler if they could just get right to it, Dan decided. He'd tried this on himself a handfull of times, but it hadn't been for too long, and never with the intention of sticking something larger inside afterwards.

However, he thought he managed to do an okay job of it. So, by the time he emerged from the bathroom in only a towel, the water still clinging to his chest and dripping from his hair, there was a slight ache between his legs. Herbert was sat on the edge of the bed, folding up his pants and laying them on the ottoman. This gave Dan a prime view of Herbert's bare legs, milky-white and dusted with dark hair. His shirt-stays were still clinging to his thighs, the ring of them ending just past the cuff of his underwear. The sight nearly drove Dan to forget about his own plans to get railed and throw Herbert down on the bed to ravish him.

But then Herbert looked up at him and swept his gaze along the length of his body. The way his eyes darkened and settled to stare at Dan's bare chest had Dan swallowing against the sudden thickness in his throat.

"How did you go?" Herbert asked, his voice coming out oddly scratchy.

"Um, okay, I think," Dan replied, slowly approaching the edge of the bed. He didn't know how to start this. Should he just lay there and let Herbert have his way with him? He had no idea. "Uh, I'm not sure- How do you normally like it?"

Herbert took a moment to consider this, eying Dan up as he did. Eventually he rose to his feet and took Dan's hand, guiding him to take his spot on the edge of the mattress. "I'm not too picky but I quite like it like this."

He gently pushed at Dan's chest until Dan laid back, his feet still touching the carpeted floor. Herbert crowded in close until he was stood between Dan's legs, leaning forward to stroke his hands along Dan's thighs. His fingers brushing under the towel and hiking it higher up towards his hips had Dan sucking in a sharp breath.

Herbert's eyes were twin flames of burning desire as he loomed over him. "What do you think?"

Once again, Dan's voice failed him, so he just nodded jerkily. "Uh- Yes. Yes, okay."

"Good," Herbert said, sounding equally shaky.

He leaned down until his elbows pressed into the mattress on either side of Dan's torso. Dan pushed himself up to meet Herbert in the middle. They kissed languidly for a moment, Dan closing his eyes to luxuriate in the feel of Herbert's lips on his. Then Herbert gasped against his mouth and the temperature in the room spiked. Dan could feel himself getting hard as Herbert trailed a hand down his stomach, brushing the hairs along his navel, before settling on the edge of the towel.

It was when Herbert teasingly stroked his fingers along the length of Dan's erection over the towel that Dan wrenched his mouth away with a stuttering breath.

"Okay, come on. Touch me."

"So impatient," Herbert chuckled.

He tugged the towel open and Dan was suddenly naked, splayed out below Herbert who was still half dressed. Something about that just turned Dan on more and he was suddenly desperate for Herbert's cock. His face burned at the thought and he covered his eyes with his hands, sure that what he was thinking must've been written all over him. He heard the sound of a bottle being popped opened and the squelch of lube being squirted out. He only peeked between his fingers when he felt the cool brush of Herbert's slick fingers at his ass.

Herbert's face was tense with concentration as he pushed a finger inside. Dan gasped at the intrusion but it didn't hurt. Herbert's pointer finger easily slid all the way in to the knuckle. He added another and then quickly another, pumping Dan with three fingers, testing him out. Dan clutched at the sheets, eyes screwed shut as he tried to get comfortable, adapting to this new sensation. It was okay--something Dan could get used to--but it was when Herbert grasped his dick to jerk him off in tandem with his fingers that he moaned.

"Good?" Herbert asked softly and Dan nodded vigorously.

"Yes. You're so- Ah!"

Herbert curled his fingers, brushing against that sweet spot inside Dan and Dan saw stars. White hot pleasure lanced down his spine, sending his toes curling against the carpet. Were it not for Herbert's handing squeezing his cock he might've come right then and there.

"Fuck," Dan wheezed, blinking against the sweat trickling down his brow. "Fuck."

"Okay," Herbert said tightly, pulling his fingers out and releasing his cock. "I think you're, um, good to go."

Dan whined at the loss, suddenly feeling empty. He propped himself up on his elbows to watch Herbert unclasp his shirt-stays. They flopped down to dangle over his thighs, but the rings of black spandex remained taught around his legs like matching torniquets. Then he was pushing his underwear down to pool around his ankles and stepping out of them. Watching Herbert stroke himself, slicking himself up, getting ready to fuck him- It did things to Dan's psyche.

Herbert stepped close, one hand wrapped around his cock, the other running up and down Dan's leg. He pushed at Dan's thigh until Dan got the message and curled his legs up, lifting his feet off the ground. Laying there like that, his knees splayed apart, Herbert standing between his legs, he'd never been more exposed, but he didn't feel embarrassed about it, like he'd thought he would be. Instead, he just thrummed with anticipation as Herbert lined the head of his cock up with his entrance. The brush of Herbert's cock against his ass made him shiver, his body aching to be filled.

Herbert flicked his eyes up to Dan. "Ready?"

"Yes," Dan said in a rush, the words spilling over his lips. "Yes, I'm ready. Let's just- Okay?"

Herbert bit down on his lip, seemingly to fight off a smile. "Okay. Let's just."

And then he was pushing inside, cutting off anything else Dan might've even thought about saying. It took a minute of pushing in and pausing to give Dan time to adjust before Herbert was finally sheathed inside him. When his hips were flush with the back of Dan's thighs, Dan let out a choked groan. Herbert wasn't a big guy but it was still the most of another person that Dan had ever had inside his body. It was so much. He had no idea how Herbert did this on the regular, like it was no big deal.

Herbert's face was pinched with desire, his eyes squeezed shut and his glasses slipping down his nose. His breathing was coming out in shallow puffs, colour flushing up his neck and dotting his cheeks. He looked blissed out before he'd even started moving. It made a surge of fondness for him swell inside Dan. He had never met a more trying, irritating person than Herbert, but in that moment, he was as endeared to him as he'd ever been.

"You can move now," Dan told him, his voice sounding too loud in the quiet of the room.

Herbert cracked his eyes open and nodded. He rocked his hips slightly before pulling out and thrusting back in. Dan gasped at the feeling, his hand flying out to grab Herbert's collar. Herbert kept his grip on Dan's legs folded in on his chest as he began to set up a stuttering rhythm. With every thrust, a little breathy cry was dragged from Dan's throat. He felt like he ought to be doing something--contributing in some way--but he supposed his ass was the contribution. He was so used to being active during sex that he had to keep reminding himself that just laying there and taking it was what he was supposed to be doing.

Herbert clearly didn't have any complaints if the string of deep grunts he was letting out as he pounded into him were any indication. Dan gritted his teeth and hissed at a particularly hard thrust that pushed him up the sheets a few inches.

"Sorry," Herbert huffed, his voice coming out rough and throaty. "Too much?"

"Maybe a little," Dan rasped.

Herbert kept going at a gentler pace, fucking him with short, slow movements that had Dan letting out a wobbly breath.

"I don't know how you do this," Herbert whispered.

Dan barked a laugh at that, blinking up at the ceiling as Herbert hunched over him further. "That bad, huh?"

"Shut it. It's not bad. It's--mm--good. Very good. So good I don't know how you--ah!--make it last."

"With much difficulty," Dan told him sliding his hand around to clutch at the back of Herbert's neck. He yanked him down until their foreheads were touching and gasped, "Now, come on. Don't stop."

Herbert's eyes widened. "Did you think I was going to?"

Instead of responding, Dan pushed his face up to kiss him. He moaned into the kiss as Herbert continued to fuck him, drawing a sound out of Herbert that vibrated between their lips. Dan hooked one of his legs around Herbert's back to tug him even closer, even deeper, and that was enough to send Herbert over the edge. His mouth fell open against Dan's as he came inside of him with a guttural groan.

The feeling of a wetness spreading out inside of him was odd to Dan. Odd but not unpleasant. The knowledge that it was Herbert's come, that he'd enjoyed fucking Dan so much that he'd shot his load inside of him just made his eyes flutter shut and relish in the feeling.

Herbert's shoulders slumped but he didn't collapse on top of Dan. Instead, he pushed himself up on an elbow and reached between them to take Dan's cock in his hand. Dan was so worked up, so turned on by the sound of Herbert crying out as he'd reached his orgasm playing in his head over and over, that it didn't take long for Herbert's clever hand to work him up to the edge. He buried his face in Herbert's neck as he came, some gurgled noise tearing from his throat as he shot ropes of come over his own stomach.

Herbert pulled out and rolled off of him to slump beside Dan on the bed. This left Dan with the decidedly grosser sensation of feeling Herbert's come leaking out of his ass. He'd definitely be needing another shower.

"Well?" Herbert said after what seemed like eons.

"Yeah?" was all Dan's sex-addled brain could formulate.

Herbert huffed out a scoff of a laugh and turned his head to the side to look at him. "Well, what did you think?"

"You're asking me to think? Right now?" Dan complained, rolling his head to stare back at Herbert. He was still flushed, his pale skin blotchy in places and his hair a mess, but he still managed to look imperious as he raised an eyebrow at Dan. Dan rolled his eyes. "It was good, okay? Really good. You totally rocked my world, baby."

Herbert gagged and tried to roll away but Dan caught him round the waist and pulled him back down against the bed.

"I was having a good time until you said that," Herbert said, pouting just enough to tempt Dan to lean over and kiss him.

Dan hummed into the kiss, breaking away only far enough to mumble against Herbert's mouth, "I can show you a good time."

Then he was throwing his leg over Herbert's hips and crowding in on top of him. If he was going to need a shower later, anyway, he might as well get a little dirtier.

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

Miami Vice S1E14: Golden Triangle, Part 1

A rash of violence against sex workers raises Castillo's suspicions.

And we learn that Castillo is... I don't know? A martial arts wizard?? We'll later learn he is also a fucking samurai, but this is really the first "let's give Castillo depth" episode, and they really fucking go for it

An absolutely useless bit of trivia: some of the opening credits in this episode are in the wrong font.

This is not the Miami Vice font. It switches back to the Miami Vice font like two names later.

Love Castillo downing a cafecito from what is absolutely not a heat-safe plastic glass, and Rico and Sonny following him as he walks away like he's a beautiful girl in a bikini

Also love that Crockett's "nerd" disguise involves going over dot matrix printouts by hand by the pool. A normal vacation activity. Love less that he is just blatantly doing an entrapment.

When Sonny and Rico take Candy in, we cut to a currently-in-progress conversation in which she asks Sonny, "well, am I right or what?" Then pauses, while neither Sonny or Rico look her in the eye, but they both smile in the most hollow and awkward way possible, and then Candy nods and says, "Yeah, I'm right." I really want to know what she thinks she's right about that both Sonny and Rico basically are like 'please stop talking' about.

Candy is great-- she's very savvy about the police (and rightly does not trust them), very intense, and has no issues telling Sonny off.

Rico finds all of this hilarious.

The drug dealer who wants a safety deposit box is John Snyder, who will always be "extremely annoying Joey in the Mafia Wars arc of Wiseguy" to me, except that recently Dan and I watched an episode of Star Trek in which he was a eugenicist from the eugenicist planet. Man sure plays some roles. He's also apparently a long-time anime voice actor??

Sonny complains about the system being broken and Tubbs kind of sighs and says "the system. Want a cold one?" #1 reason Tubbs isn't as broken by the end of the show is that he comes in from day one knowing that Everything Sucks Forever, while Crockett takes it personally every single time

Alligator Nail Filing

Alligator

Nail

Filing

"We're getting too good at playing bad guys" sure is the understatement of the whole series

It's not actually clear until around the 3/4 mark that this is the first Castillo Episode, but he makes a wonderful little suspicious face when Sonny starts telling him about Szarbo-- he knows something is amiss.

There's an exchange with the cop who has been working part time as a pimp where Sonny no-true-Scotsmans him-- he states that the man isn't a "real" cop for what he's done. I think Sonny still genuinely believes this at this point in the series. He will not by the end.

Castillo finds out that one of the dead people is Thai and just absolutely flips out and is like I NEED TO SEE THE CORPSE. I get what the actual intention here is-- that Castillo has put together enough things about the case based on similarities to things that happened during his own years in Thailand-- but we don't know that yet as an audience, so it just kind of seems like Castillo is totally paranoid and thinks any deceased person of Thai descent MUST be involved in crime, which is not a good look.

I adore the sequence in which it is implied Tubbs and Castillo go to like eight Thai restaurants together, partially because I appreciate when they work together, and partially because I love seeing restaurants from bygone days.

To the tune of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

Awkward dinner naked waiter

Awkward dinner naked waiter

Awkward dinner naked waiter

Marty n' Rico having supper

It is awkward!

(but seriously why does that waiter not have a shirt)

And we learn, finally, that Castillo is a master of every martial art, as he gets in a wild action movie fist fight with the naked waiter in the parking lot. It's stupid and fantastic in equal measures, and we'll learn even more about Castillo's exciting fisticuffs adventures next time.

[tetralea]

hello hello, hope you're having a great day dori!

i just really need to know about the Summer Camp AU, so give us a bit 👀💗

Hii, I had a great day thank you I hope you did too!

This is my baby, so ofc I’ll will! :)

Basically both of them are counselors at a boy-girl summer camp, both of them in charge of a group of little boys. Charles has been to this camp, Max is new, they are ofc captains of the rival teams in the camp where you have basically 0 personal space on main. Their boys ofc mimic their rivalry, to make it cuter, and Charles also helps with the oldest girl group, for added trouble and fun. They are pinning for each other hard, often called out by others like Dan and Lando or Mick and Andrea (because we need Andrea here for Charles for moral support). Like at the lake when Max sees Charles first half naked and wet and he tries to keep it PG but oh well, he totally didn’t choke on his snack a little or made a snarky comment “there are kinds here too, Leclerc, put on something.” Or when Charles sees Max taking his shirt off for the first time. “It would be nice if you kept that on, Verstappen, there are kids here still.” Ofc only after he dropped his water bottle when he saw it. And this goes on with some camp activities. And then Charles has to stay in the camp in the only day off they had in weeks, at least he got the solitary bunk for the day and the night and Max stops by, he say for make Charles less miserable because he is annoying but clearly he just wants Charles to get to enjoy that day a little too, so he proposes the skinny dipping.

There was a knock. Understandable, people were alone there usually for a reason, getting some much needed privacy.

“Yeah? I’m dressed and all.” Not the best way to answer the door, but it was effective.

It opened revealing someone he never would have expected. “Thank fuck.” Max stepped into the small space, making it feel crowded. “Wouldn’t have wanted to disturb you.” The blonde boy explained, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Then why are you here?” Charles sat up, expecting some kind of mockery from

Max, who was just standing there. He was in camp attire, which meant he went back to the bunks and changed from his regular clothes. It was easy to forget how real clothes looked on them when they wore the camp colors all day, slept in them and there weren't many options to choose from.

Max shrugged and opened his arms, trying to fit them into his pockets. The uniform shorts didn’t have a pocket. Max’s hands were awkwardly pinching the seam of the short now. “There is a bonfire, if you are interested.” He said finally.

“I heard it through the door, but I’m not in the mood.” He kept his eyes on the other counselor, waiting. Why was he there at all? He wanted to stand up to feel like he was not being towered over, but he didn’t want to seem too interested either.

“Sure.” Max nodded, eyes alerting Charles. “I just thought you were not out all day, Carlos said you came here to rest, so maybe I thought you wanted some fun, but if you’d rather rest that’s fine.” It was one breath. Charles raised his eyebrows.

“You went to my cabin?” Clearly, since Carlos and Mick were there with the boys.

“I thought you’d be there.” Max stated the obvious. “Can I sit or could you stand? It's really weird to look down at you like this. And I’m tired too.” There was no chairs in the room, so the only place for Max to sit was the bed, which was covered by Charles’ bedsheets now.

The brunette stood up, moving his limbs around. He was laying for so long. “So? What do you want, Max? For real?” A small smile formed on his lips, clearly being entertained by the other’s awkward stance.

“I just thought to come here and ask if you wanted to do something fun. It doesn’t have to be a bonfire. Since you were in all day instead of coming with us. We can go to the lake, we could swim.” He offered, his eyes shining, finally something came to him. He heard from his boys how much Charles liked to sit at the lake at late hours, enjoying the stars. They were beautiful. He had to give it. With little to no light there they were clear and shining breathtakingly.

“I don’t have swim shorts with me, I’m sorry.” Charles looked around, like he was searching for them. “And I don’t want to go back to the cabin to get them, if the boys see me I won’t have any rest.”

Max snorted, shaking his head. “You are no fun. We don’t need those.”

“Are you drunk?”

It was very straight forward, and threw Max off. His lips opened and closed, eyes widened, staring at the brunette boy dumbly. “That is not relevant now.”

Charles laughed, amused, stepping closer, his green eyes looking into the clear blue ones, like he tried to see if Max was drunk. He stood close, awfully close. He leaned closer, and before Max could have done something he positively would have regretted he spoke. “So?”

“Are you asking me to go skinny dipping with you?” Now saying it out loud, maybe it wasn’t the brightest idea, but Charles was grinning, most probably thinking Max went mad. It was absurd.

“Yeah, are you too afraid to do it, Leclerc?” He dared the monegasque, pushing more into his space against his better judgment.

“Not at all, Verstappen.” With that Charles grabbed his green hoodie from the top bunk, pulling it through his unstyled brown hair, smoothening it out at the end. “Let’s go, I could use some swimming.” He nodded towards the door.

Max got out and he turned off the lights.

“Are you sure everyone is at the bonfire or with the kids?” Charles asked jogging next to Max, the gravel cracking under his sneakers. The blonde one only nodded, and pulled his hood on his head, just in case. Charles did the same as they walked through the only well lit part of the camp towards the lake.

Down the slope they slowed down, both of them balancing with their arms out in the darkness. The lake was reflecting the stars in front of them and the yellowish lights of the camp were flickering from behind them. Yet they felt they couldn't see a thing.

Finally when they arrived at the docks, it was easier to walk. With hushed breath they kicked off their shoes, picking them up as they walked on the green flimsy material covering the docks. They walked to the very end, and turned right to get to the furthest point.

Charles kneeled, dipping his fingers in the water. “It’s nice.” He whispered, standing again. They should have gotten naked now, right.

The moon and the stars illuminated the lake and everything around it, covering everything in a light glow or leaving only black silhouettes there. It wouldn’t have been different with their bodies either.

“Alright, I’ll turn around. But if you dare to push me in the water, I’ll make sure you get fired tomorrow.” Charles threatened, turning his back to Max nonetheless, pulling the hoodie off his white shirt.

He never asked Max to turn around, but he did anyway. He didn’t want to, oh no, he wanted to see Charles, to see the parts he hasn’t yet, yet yearned for it more than he wanted to admit. He saw him shirtless, he saw him in briefs, but whatever was under he hadn't seen it.

“Aren’t you afraid I’ll peak?” His voice was a whisper yell, while he pushed his own shorts. Their clothes were ruffling and the water was splashing as they moved on the dock.

Charles giggled. “No, not really. I mean, I’m sure you have seen something like this before.” He felt his cheeks heat up to his own words, hidden in the monochrome moonlight. Many things, heavily implied in one sentence, hanging between them until Max spoke.

“Yeah, but it’s not the same.” His voice was distant and Charles didn’t want to turn until he heard the splash of water. Max was sinking into the lake, trying to make as little noise as he could.

Charles turned, looking at Max just catching a glimpse of his gaze as it turned to the woods behind him. With pursed lips and racing heart he sat, letting his legs sink under the water. He hissed, drawing Max’s attention immediately.

There was not much to see from the way as he was sitting, yet Max looked away as he got convinced Charles was fine. “It’s colder than I thought.”

Another splash of the water confirmed that the monegasque was also in the water now, and Max turned, kicking the water under himself, to stay afloat.

“It is fresh.” He laughed, his voice wavering a bit.

“But very nice.” With a soft groan Charles turned his face to the sky, closing his eyes enjoying the peace and quiet. The water was nice, swirling around his body, soothing his skin and making his muscles work. He was a bit sore from yesterday’s classes he taught. Swimming will help with that. Neither of them talked for a little while, they swam around, never losing the other one from sight, never really leaving much distance either. Charles submerged before, turning to float on his back, the sweet water not helping him like the salty at home, but he could make it work.

“So nice.” He groaned, and sighed, closing his eyes, letting the water mute the noises of Max’s moving around him. “Thanks for not letting me stay in the cabin.” He said, his own voice sounding alien through the water.

“Yeah, it’s nothing.” Max mumbled from much closer than he expected. He turned his heat to look at the blonde boy. He hasn’t really looked tonight. Max’s hair was still dry, eyes fixed on Charles, his lips tugged into a smile. He swam even closer, making Charles change his position quietly getting closer to the docks again. “You need to rest too if you want to make it, you know, and you couldn’t really do it today.” The explanation was soft, muted by the water, a bit messy as Max was swimming and talking.

With a small laugh Charles grabbed the wooded, floating panel, resting the back of his head against it, his fingers holding onto it, making it easier to stay afloat. “Yeah, it wasn't as planned.” He admitted, looking at Max joining him. “But he got so scared, you should have seen him at the nurse. He was crying and holding onto me. I could have left, but I would have felt like shit.” There was a small sigh, his eyes fixed on the dark waves, taking in the surreal yet beautiful sight.

“You are very good with them.” Max admitted, his eyes trained on the brunette, watching his eyes shine, his lips twitch before breaking into a kind smile. His gaze stayed there, he didn’t even notice.

Charles closed his eyes, seeing all the kind faces of his boys for a second. Seeing something else, another kind face, playing and joking and laughing surrounded by a pack of kids too. “Thanks, but I could say the same to you. You can really make them listen and focus.”

Max laughed. “Yes, except when they need to go to sleep, that’s always a bargain.” He looked to the lake for a second, taking in the view before turning back again. He never was this close to Charles, at least not in peaceful terms like this. He knew he had those dimples showing when he smiled, but he never saw just how they form as the cupid bow lips turn to a smile. He wanted to kiss them.

“Bedtime is always a chaos.” Charles hummed, with a little nod before turning towards Max. This time the blonde didn’t look away, he let the now dark eyes look at him, look at him looking. He was hoping the darkness would hide it instead of him this time, that he can cheat life and he can look at Charles like this without being seen. He never noticed how the brunette never looked away either, he was trying to cheat darkness and tried to see the same thing Max wanted to hide.

He tried to move closer, but the water was deep and he needed more leverage, one hand wasn’t enough, he would have forgotten about himself and let go. “How about sitting in the beginners' pool?” He suggested, tilting his head, making it sound so soft, so inviting, Max forgot to breathe, before nodding.

Charles thought about warning Max not to look, making a joke of it, but what was the point. “I trust you won’t look.” He whispered, holding his breath. “Yet.” With that he pushed himself out of the water until he could put his feet flat on the flimsy surface to stand. With quick steps he crossed the dock and stood in the little artificial pool in the middle of the docks. He sat on his knees before he could have heard Max getting out and then feeling the water move as he joined. It was much more comfortable like that, not having to swim and float every second. Both hands freed.

“Would you be happy if I was fired?” Max asked, now not looking, stubbornly examining the vast water.

“Not at all.” Charles shook his head, leaning just a bit closer. “A competition is only fun with a good competitor, and you are just great.” He admitted, and Max smiled, exhaling slowly. “I mean, we could be so fired for this.”

“You mean swimming, at night, without a guard, naked?” Max listed their sins and Charles laughed a little, dropping his head, biting his lips.

“You are drunk too.” He remembered.

Max shook his head, turning to face him, the water hiding the inches he covered to get closer. “I’m as sober as I can get, so we can’t add that to the list.” They were almost chest to chest.

“No, that, not.” Charles eyelids dropped as his eyes followed the line of the plump lips, the curve illuminated by the moon. He would have found them easily anyway.

He leaned in, his head lightly touching the wood, but it didn’t matter when Max covered his lips with his own. A small sigh welcomed, a quiet groan as they kissed, lips moving against each other in a slow, trying rhythm. Charles' hands were leaving a wet trail on Max's neck as he cupped the pretty cheeks, pulling him closer, opening his lips, inviting the hot tongue to lick into his mouth. It was an uncomfortable position and they forgot just how much they weren’t wearing anything, until Max’s hands found Charles bare hips, coaxing him closer.

“Is that okay?” He mumbled into the dark, hot space between their lips, pulling on the petite hips.

“Yeah.” Charles slowly moved in front of Max, his thighs going around the strong ones, floating above Max’s lap. Chests pressed together, he was holding onto the round shoulders, while Maxs arms around his back secured him in place. It was perfect. He leaned in again, tasting the stranger yet familiar lips on his own for the second time. He couldn’t hold back his moans and whimpers, as their tongues met, sharp teeth tugging on his bottom lip, plush ones soothing the ache. “God.” He pleaded pushing closer, unthinking. The water took the edge off, the much anticipated friction never came. With a frustrated noise he tried again with the help of the big palms occupying his ass, their hard cock trapped between their abdomens rubbed together.

“Fuck.” It was muffled and bitten by Max but not less satisfied.

Charles pushed forward again, pressing Max’s back to the wooden railing under the water, his arms embracing the blonde, hands making his still dry hair wet, ruffling it at the back, on the top, nails scratching on the pale shoulders, keeping himself close, trying to touch and feel as much as he could. Like his palms were hungry, hungry to touch, to feel Max’s skin under his own. Finally.

He moaned softly, as Max’s palm slid up, following the graceful line of his spine, little drops of water were running down on the freckled skin on their wake. The long fingers reached up, adding more water to the already wet hair, messing up the short strands, making Charles’ hair even more wild than it was before. He sighed, relaxing into the touch, arching his neck, giving more space, like it was something he always ached for, when Charles kissed down on his neck, lapping up the cooling water drops, warming the chilling skin with his hot, wet mouth. He hummed to the taste, like someone who was eating their favourite snack, licking and sucking lightly, trying, teasing, committing it to his memories. Max lifted his head, giving him space to wander to the other side, his skin tingling in the wake of the hungry lips.

Max groaned, pulling Charles closer in the water, one hand still holding the rounded ass, the other grabbing and groping the strong arms, lean side, petite hips. He needed, wanted to feel, to touch, fucking finally.

[gulliesforever]

jake and amir wrote a christmas party episode and it's absolutely bonkers insane here's my best attempt at transcribing the draft !!! : D

Jake and Amir: Christmas Party Draft

[JAKE IS WORKING IN THE OFFICE IN THE MORNING. AMIR WALKS INTO FRAME IN A BRIDAL GOWN]

AMIR: Here comes the queef, here comes the queef! [PLOPS DOWN AT DESK]

JAKE: Okay, everybody, he's NOT DEAD.

EVERYBODY IN THE OFFICE: Boo!

AMIR: They hate me, they reaaaallly hate me. [HIS MASCARA IS RUNNING]

JAKE: Yeah, they do. And I think they have every right to, don't you?

AMIR: Ah [VAGUELY OFFENDED]!

JAKE: You threw a molotov cocktail on the dance floor at the holiday party last night.

AMIR: When? Psh- When!

JAKE: LAST NIGHT!

AMIR: So then SAY THAT. Say when. You can't just say 'you threw a molotov cocktail', that could have been fucking four years ago. You don't know when or where- 

JAKE: I said WHEN and I said WHERE!

AMIR: Meaning?

JAKE: Meaning I said both those things, and also it shouldn't matter. You shouldn't be throwing molotov cocktails now or four years ago, right?!

AMIR: [IN A VAGUELY BAD SOUTHERN ACCENT] I did what I had to do, and I wouldn't change a goddamn thing.

JAKE: Really? You wouldn't change walking into the IAC holiday party dressed as Santa Claus from the waist up and completely nude from the waist down, singing, as you just recently did, 'here comes the queef, here comes the queef'?

AMIR: You're a mean one, mistah queef.

JAKE: You emitted a very high-pitched queef, which got a smattering of applause and some chuckles... which is, admittedly, much more than it deserved. People were trying to smooth over the awkwardness.

AMIR: They were impressed! That I was dressed to impress!

JAKE: You were undressed to depress.

AMIR: OH! Are you going stag to the holiday party? Are you like, bringing a-

JAKE: It was LAST NIGHT. It already happened! You tried to ruin it, you showed up naked, you're a mean one mister gr- mister queef, molotov cocktail.

AMIR: I feel like if Sarah or Dan did this, nobody would care, but for me they're not granting me the benefit of the doubt in some weird fucked up way 'cause I'm like, a known to be loose canon guy! How's that fair?!

JAKE: It's almost like you have a history of doing this fucked up shit.

AMIR: Yeeeaah, exactly right!

JAKE: That is one of the reasons why people do have less patience with you. It's entirely fair. And- And even if that was your first time offense, immediately after you said 'I'm going to spike the punch!' and stole a football from Gronk who was there as a favor to our boss and spiked it into the holiday punch bowl. Everyone got wet, everyone got stained. That was when you butt-chugged a bottle of champagne, filled it up with gasoline that you also had, and then you started singing Prodigy's 'I'm a Fire Starter'. You grabbed Barry Diller by the necktie and shoved it inside the bottle of Veuve Clicquot and you said 'It's time that we go!' We lost you for half and hour, I guess you crashed a wedding-

AMIR: What gave you that idea?

JAKE: [POINTS AT AMIR'S BRIDAL OUTFIT]

AMIR: Oh, right. I thought that was a thinly VEILED reference [HE IS WEARING A VEIL]

JAKE: ... What's wrong with you, man.

AMIR: [QUEEFS] 

JAKE: When we found you, Mariah Carey's 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' came on, but you changed the words to 'All I Want For Christmas is Jews'. And you said "oh shit, my parents are home!" and called the cops - then two male strippers - dressed as Rabbis - instantly walked in. I guess you hired them ahead of time. They started taking off their Tallits (?) in a sexy way.

AMIR: I thought they were born to run!

JAKE: What does that mean?!

AMIR: It's a THINLY VEILED REFERENCE.

JAKE: To Bruce Springsteen?!

AMIR: YEAH!

JAKE: Right. Because that WAS who the third stripper that showed up was impersonating. Where the fuck did you hire these guys?! Every time you spoke a stripper or two sprinted onto the dance floor ALREADY NAKED from the neck down. Finally, there were so many of them and the dance floor was covered with kerosene and champagne from your butt-chugging and molotov cocktailing that they started that they started slipping and sliding each other. The biggest most muscular one slid with both of his legs in the air and hit the ground with a sickening thud. I think he snapped his neck, he was killed on impact. Does that sound at all familiar?!

AMIR: Uhh. Bits and pieces. I do remember going stag. And I had had a vodka soda, so the details are hazy.

JAKE: A man died in front of you. Is that hazy? You tried to light the building on fire. Is that unclear?

AMIR: Yeah, yeah, it sounds familiar but I bet you're not even going to ask me what I got you for Christmas.

JAKE: I ALREADY KNOW. It was 48 male strippers who you tried to get to give me a dance! You pulled up a chair with a giant dildo strapped to it and tried to get me to sit down! Finally - I don't know how you convinced everyone else at the party - but they forced me on to it. I sat on the dildo chair. Is that what you wanted?

AMIR: [ANOTHER QUEEF]

JAKE: Got it. Where the fuck did you get the bridal costume.

AMIR: I guess you could say I crashed a wedding last night. That whole dance party thing was the borderline lead up to what ended up being a pretty epic night.

[THERE ARE SIRENS IN THE DISTANCE]

AMIR: Ah, shit, here we go.

[A GUY ENTERS]

GUY: There he is! There's the guy that stole... MY HEART! [STARTS DANCING AND STRIPPING]

JAKE: Is that- Is this another one of your strippers?!

AMIR: No, I think he's just taking a moment to express himself!

[THE WIFE OF THE GUY COMES IN WEARING THE SAME OUTFIT AMIR WORE LAST NIGHT]

WIFE: Last night was the fucking night of my life thanks to that man!

AMIR: Merry Christmas to ALL! And to all a good wife!

[THEY ALL LOOK IN THE DISTANCE AND SEE SANTA'S SLEIGH FLYING OVER A CHURCH ON FIRE]

SANTA, IN THE DISTANCE: HO HO HO

OTHER JOKES THAT DONT FIT IN THE STORY BUT DESERVE RECOGNITION:

>  Turns out the guy IS the 19th stripper, and he goes 'And I think you've been a bad boy' [POINTING TO JAKE, AND HE BRINGS OUT THE CHAIR WHICH IS BLURRED] SLGSLDKGMSDG

> AMIR: It go down in my BMs. It go down in my BMs. 

JAKE: That is what you said as you tried to shit on to the buffet! Your pink sock came out! Everyone saw your colon!

AMIR: I WAS PRAIRIE DOGGING

JAKE: It was MORE than prairie dogging! You have an ulcer! A doctor said you had to get it looked at!

AMIR: My insides were out that night, yeah! That's my Christmas stocking! And actually, could you stuff her? Back inside of me?

COMMENT: This is too much, too blue. What makes it in is usually much tamer.