#damn I need to keep track of the perspective more but drawing in 20 minutes is like road-killing my brain

[kurios-development-hell]

POV: You became the sombrero of an antediluvian creature.

Today the random sketch goes to @healdeals I really love that sona and find enjoyable her shenanigans with Spamton 💖 @wouldsmoochapuppet is the blog if you are curious 👀

[the-final-sif]

Also, I know it doesn't even really make any sense, possibly, but how do you feel about the headcanon that Katsuki's good at singing? It's kinda more a guilty pleasure headcanon, as far as I can tell, considering there's not much of a base like there would be with Jirou, but. Y'know. For those singers out there wantin' to project, I guess. And I just wanted your thoughts on it, so...?

!!!!

Okay, so this exact thing came up in the discord a little while ago, and it’s a headcanon based 100% around the fact that I love the song Fire on Fire and I think it’s a great todobaku song.

So! Katsuki, Izuku and Shouto are all interning together with Endeavor and Hawks is hanging around because he does that. They were on a mission that was supposed to be easy, but turned out to be a trap. The villains lured Shouto off and hit him with something akin to the trigger drug, basically it makes his quirk/him go nuts and super ramps up his power levels.

That causes him to create a giant fire and ice storm, with his quirk lashing out at anyone that tries to get close, and with his range constantly increasing. A bunch of other heroes + a lot of their classmates are called in to help evacuate people and try to help but nothing seems to be working.

Izuku reverts to his default Quirk Nerd state and discovers that there’s a weird conditional to the drug Shouto’s under, the person trapped in it can still kinda hear people outside and previous heroes facing the villain have had success with song in particular breaking the person out of the quirk’s effect. A suitable soothing/emotional song can lull the raging emotions of the effected person and draw them out of the panicked state long enough for them to regain control of themselves.

Since he figures it’s worth a shot tries to sing, but he’s quiet and awkward about it and also he can’t sing, so it doesn’t work at all. Several of his classmates are nearby and they quickly debate on what the issue is and make an incorrect assumption based on too many movies that it has to be ‘true love’s song’. The collected students all agree that the best person for the job is obviously Momo because they’re dumb and think Momo has a crush on Shouto (she doesn’t, she’s a lesbian), and so they’re trying to track Momo down on the battle field while the Shouto’s fire and ice is raging around them, and things keep getting in their way, and it’s to the point where people might die.

But then Katsuki finds Momo, and Izuku radios over to Katsuki trying to relay that they need Momo to sing a love song to beat the quirk. Only, the radio is cutting out, so all Katsuki hears is that someone needs to sing a love song to free Shouto, and that’s really fucking weird, but what the hell, he’s willing to try anything at this point since people’s lives are at stake.

Throwing aside any sense of embarrassment, Katsuki just grabs his phone and goes for the first instrumental that he has that’s a love song and which is somewhat fitting, Fire on Fire.

And then he sings and by god, can he sing. Katsuki has an amazing singing voice when he’s trying, like, it’s partially the music classes he took when he was young, partially just his voice being naturally good, and partially because when he was younger he loved to sing along with the birds when he was hiking (something he still does when he’s alone). He isn’t quiet about it either, this boy has some fucking projection and he commits to this with 110% intensity, just like everything else he does

Unlike Izuku, the effect is immediate, with Shouto’s fire/ice storm near stilling. Katsuki walks forward while singing, and as the song goes on, it’s clearly extremely effective. The fire/ice basically abandons it’s ‘battle’ with everyone else to follow Katsuki’s voice and clears a path for him to reach Shouto, shrinking/calming as he gets closer.

Now, obviously, both Endeavor and Hawks + some other pro-heroes are around, and none them have even 1 clue what the fuck is going on.

1 minute they’re struggling for their lives, the next minute, Katsuki, known hell child, is singing amazingly with an oddly calm expression on his face, walking slowly towards the center of the fire/ice storm and taming the raging quirk effects as he goes. But like?? It’s working??

Towards the end of the song, Katsuki reaches the center, the fire and ice pulling back into Shouto’s body. He was suspended by the ice/fire at like 20 ft up, so when the drug’s effect’s subside, he falls and Katsuki catches him at the end of the song, singing the last lyrics and letting the music fade as Shouto blinks awake to see the last of it.

Shouto is exhausted and he has 0 (zero) idea what the hell is going on, because he wakes up to Katsuki holding him and crooning out a gorgeous love song. Later on, he’ll actually be able to remember more of the song and Katsuki’s progress towards him, reaching out to help him, but in the moment that’s all he sees.

His left side catches on fire as his entire face goes red and Katsuki drops him (quite literally like he was burned).

Thankfully, neither of them are hurt, but Katsuki is just super done with everything so he rounds on Izuku and his group and yells at the lot of them for not saying that that was an option sooner because they could’ve resolved this ages ago. Totally back to being an Angry Hell Child. Everyone else is just stunned and trying to figure out if what they saw actually just happened or it was a collective hallucination.

Shouto is still smoldering on the ground, wide eyed and in some state of shock. Hawks is the first one to react and swoops over to grab him and get him to medical. He’s trying to be good about the situation, but he can’t help but ask Shouto if he and Katsuki are a thing, Shouto says they’re not.Hawks pauses for several long seconds and then asks Shouto if he wishes they were. Shouto looks him dead in the eye and says,

“I have never in my life considered my sexuality, romantic options, or that Katsuki would play any part in those considerations until 3 minutes ago, and yet somehow, I think the answer to that question might be yes.“

He passes out a few minutes afterwards, but when he wakes up he’s in a hospital and there’s a replay of the attack on TV and he gets to watch the whole song from an outside perspective and just how pretty and romantic Katsuki looked, fire and ice swirling around him possessively as he walks forward without a trace of hesitation or fear, also, fuck, Katsuki is good at singing and Shouto can’t get over how good he sounds particularly with the knowledge that Katsuki is singing for him.

His classmates visit him in the hospital as he’s waiting for the okay to leave, and everyone kinda awkwardly dodges around the obvious elephant in the room, until someone finally cracks and asks "Hey do you think if I went and ”“accidentally”“ got myself hit by the quirk Katsuki would-” and Shouto gets really growly/jealous with them even though they were definitely 100% joking maybe kinda.

Katsuki also gets interviewed by the media after this, they obviously ask if he and Shouto are a couple and Katsuki says they absolutely aren’t and explains it was just a dumb requirement to undo the quirk effect (and that he was “the only one of these fuckers that could sing worth a damn”). The reporter understands and then tries to make a joke about how awkward it must’ve been for Katsuki to sing a love song to a male classmate. Katsuki shuts that right the hell down and outs himself as gay with no fucks given, totally stunning the interviewer and throwing the media into a secondary frenzy.

Katsuki really doesn’t care though, and he’s so confident and firm about it that it ends up with everyone just kinda,,,,, moves on because there’s nothing else to be done. So then things go back to kinda normal, except Shotuo is a pining mess towards Katsuki, and Katsuki is completely oblivious to Shouto being a pining mess for him.

[snkpolls]

SnK S3E13 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 539 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

RATE THE EPISODE 534 Responses

WIT kicked off the arc fantastically according to the viewers! This episode got overall positive reviews, with 95% of respondents giving it a 4 or 5 rating.

An ideal opening episode in my opinion!

Incredible start for possible the best season yet ♥

Awesome opening episode to set the stage for the arc to come. Pacing was just right, imo.

HYPE MY SOLDIERS

I think it was a great ep and did pretty well with the chapters it adapted. The dialogue was there and so were the scenes, the ending hyped what is coming so much so I'm already in love!

Lack of creavity when it come to the OP and ED visuals, but the ep overall was good.

The soundtrack slaps, voice acting is on point, and the animation proves to be very promising. Overall, it's a great episode to start off the second cour!

Awesome episode with awesome soundtrack.

One of the best episodes of the whole series, which was surprising.

RATE THE OP 533 Responses

Overall respondents liked the new Linked Horizon opening, which was a great summary of the current arc, but overall it fell flat as a song that most would be willing to label as their favorite.

OP depicts the upcoming battle well!

Great adaptation, just wish the opening was a little more original

It is the worst OP of all. The song is disappointing; it sounds like typical, boring song from random shonen series.

The opening definitely had some parts to it that felt recycled from previous openings, but I guess it's just Linked Horizon's way of linking them all together.

SPACE OPERATION RAINBOW!!!

To me it looks like they ran out of time to make an OP so they slapped a green filter on what they had done already.

RATE THE ED 530 Responses

The 104th-centered still-frame ED has some mixed reviews with most of the fandom sitting somewhere in the middle between loving and hating it. Respondents overall are leaning more toward the positive, however.

ED is perfect with the time skip just over the horizon

WE GOT A FEW NEW SAWANO TRACKS. HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT THEM? 530 Responses

Well over half the fandom are already pumped for new music from the series’ composer Sawano Hiroyuki! A whopping 76% already feel that he’s killing it. 22% need more time to decide how they feel. A small sliver of respondents don’t really care for the OST. Who hurt you?

ost perfect as usual

It was good but at this point everything sounds like it's been reused a bunch of times. Hopefully we get some new great tracks later on..

Hyeh

The bassline in the new rendition of "Attack on Titan" (or however Sawano spells it) is amazing. I cannot wait for the S3 soundtrack to be released.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 532 Responses

The scene with the Beast Titan appearing with his army of titans took 30% of the vote, with Levi attacking Reiner as a close second with 22% of the vote. 10% overall liked the entire episode, and 7% favorited the cliffhanger staredown. We can all agree the battle to come has us all hyped!

I repeated the scene where Reiner appears until the end of the episode tons of times already

Did they really had to skip Levi's frustrated expression after he failed to kill Reiner? It was my favorite moment…

Levi attacking Reiner and everything after that has become one of my favorite scenes in the series. Damn!

Nice Erwin Screentime, nice Levi nyooming behind Eren

Best girl makes her appearance

the last three minutes of the episode where the warriors show up was fucking amazing

ON SCALE OF ARMIN TO ERWIN, HOW GOOD ARE YOU AT GIVING ORDERS? 526 Responses

The majority of respondents relate to Armin’s timid nature a bit more when it comes to overall confidence in giving orders. Just a small 6.3% of you guys feel you have the charismatic swag that Erwin brings to the table.

I loved Armin giving orders politely.

How was Armin overcoming social anxiety a billion times cooler then eren flying over a 60m wall, becoming a titan and basically saving humanity.

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO GO HORSEBACK SURFING? 528 Responses

This was in no way a serious question. But at an almost even split, 35.8% of voters would totally try their hand at horseback surfing, while 35.2% would never risk their life doing such a dangerous activity!

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ANIMATION QUALITY IN PART TWO SO FAR? 529 Responses

Overall respondents are pleased with the animation in the first episode of the RtS arc, with 54% stating that it’s the best animation they’ve seen from the series yet. 42% feel it could be better, but is also not the worst. A small percentage don’t find the animation all that impressive.

I can’t believe how clean all of the animation is looking. SUPER impressed with the difference in art-style compared to season 1 as well.

The animation is on the highest level.

i miss the thick lines the show used to have

i really love the colour palette of this season and the op especially.

IMO the color tones on this episode could've been handled better, it was too gloomy on some scenes :(

The animation & art style was almost as good as season 2’s (which is one of my favorite pieces of animation of all time) but still lacked in some areas.

Looks like they went all out with budget on this season and I'm loving it

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE CG COLOSSAL TITAN IN THE OPENING? 532 Responses

57% of respondents aren’t too upset about the GCI Colossal Titan in the opening and say they don’t mind either way. 35% aren’t happy at all with the decision to make the Colossal CGI, while a few actually find the effect super cool.

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW EXCITED ARE YOU TO FINALLY SEE THIS ARC ANIMATED? 533 Responses

The overwhelming majority are extremely excited to see this arc animated after all these years. With its high levels of action and drama, it’s no surprise to us to see that the fandom is looking forward to getting this arc in an animated form!

IVE WAITED MORE THAN 2 YEARS FOR THIS IM NEVER BEEN SO FUCKING HYPED IN MY WHOLE LIFE

I've waited so many years that I'm satisfied and ready to pass now that my favorite arc is being animated

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ADAPTATION OF RTS SO FAR? 532 Responses

67% of respondents are feeling very satisfied with the way the arc is unraveling in the anime, finding that it’s a very close adaptation of the original source material. 23% feel that it’s still too early to judge the adaptation properly, and a few less feel that the adaptation so far is somewhere between good and bad.

Fantastic adaptation.

Good pacing jumping right into the action, while staying faithful to the manga.

Overall very good, but could be a TAD better

I think the adaptation so far has been great, but I need to see how the action is handled before I say for sure whether it's well adapted or not.

It was ok.

It was very well-adapted! All the important details were there and nothing important seemed to be missing, which was something I was sad about in the last arc. It seems like everything I want will get covered.

How do we come back from there without breaking my heart?

PART 2 IS SLATED FOR 10 EPISODES. DO YOU THINK THIS WILL BE ENOUGH TO ADAPT THE ARC WELL? 531 Responses

Voters are confident that WIT knows what they’re doing by shortening the amount of episodes that will air for this action-heavy arc, with only ¼ of respondents feeling that they haven’t given themselves enough screen time to cover every last detail. 10% don’t want to say either way.

i was disappointed in knowing it was a 10 episode arc, but seeing the quality and taking into account that this is an action-heavy arc, i'm bouncing off of the walls to see what wit has underneath their sleeve. hopefully they don't ruin the best arc

one advantage of the short season is that they cant draw out the serum bowl for too long. God, that was a painful wait when the manga was dropping those chapters.

Really well done, the pacing in particular was great. After seeing it I was convinced 10 episodes was perfect for this arc. A 6-4 split is perfect.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE VERY SPOILERY OPENING? 532 Responses

61% of respondents agree that the opening, while spoilery, is a great summary and teaser of what is to come for those who only watch the anime. Without context, they can’t know what every last symbolic image in the opening means, after all! 23% of voters expressed distaste at how much WIT is spoiling the viewers, however. 9% aren’t even concerned about it.

The whole opening was just one big “fuck you” to people who don’t read the manga.

it only becomes obvious b/c manga readers keep pointing stuff out. Yes, the intros have always hinted at things but it goes so fast that I don’t think every person will know exactly what something means if they’re anime only.

The Opening is good representation of this phase of the story ending.

I don't get why people are making a big deal over the "spoilers" in the opening when they're not even anime-onlies themselves in the first place.

Man, it only seems spoilery for those of us who know what's coming. Anime onlies don't understand the context of the images, so they can't recognise them as spoilers unless it's directly identified as such! We gotta stop judging this stuff from the perspective of someone who already knows what's coming.

It's definitely not holding back on the indications that'll happen in the arc

HOW DID THE NEW ED MAKE YOU FEEL? 527 Responses

61% of manga readers felt nostalgic seeing the images of the 104th during their trainee days coupled with a somber song. 20% felt sad about the ending, and 15% were just disappointed with the entire thing.

Lazy ending.

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE RED EYES ON THE TITANS? 533 Responses

Just over half of the fandom feel that the red-eyed pure titans was a cool aesthetic to add to show that they are under some form of control by a shifter. 33% feel it’s a cool addition, but not really necessary. 11% don’t care.

I was on board with the red eyes until the cart titan also had them. No longer made any sense.

I don't get why Pieck's eyes are red when she's not a mindless being controlled by Zeke…

Like the red eyes but why does Pieck have them too.

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 530 Responses

Perhaps unsurprisingly, over half of the fandom is most hyped to see the Eren vs. Reiner showdown in Shiganshina. Although not far behind, 28% of respondents are excited about Erwin’s badass unhooding moment as he challenges Reiner.

THUNDER SPEARS FOR NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Even though I totally know what will happen, the episode is written and directed in a way I still get goosebumps and forget I actually know what will happen. And the music, oh god. That's amazing. These two together have a really good effect.

I need the next one RIGHT NOW.

AAAAAHH!!!!

It was an introduction episode, so imo, it's just there to put the basis for the rest of the season. There was a good balance between the "emotionally charged" scenes and the more quiet ones, all this accompanied with an increasing tension in the background.

I wish theyd reanimated the scene of armin talking to eren about the opening instead of just reusing the animation from season 1.

that Zeke smile is like : hey there, i am here to euthanize you all. Love it !

I'm buying tickets into denial islaaand, bye, bye!

Airpipes. AIRPIPES. p.s. cracking soundtrack

Reiner has been enjoying himself some Marley protein, he extra swole now.

Armin was the MVP

PIECK!!!

I don't like the fact that WiT decided to spoil a lot. Some anime onlies already have guessed that Armin is going to be burned and then will become the next CT. So the serumbowl won't be as emotional and exciting for them anymore. I don't understand why WiT decided to do such thing. Don't they want anime-onlies to enjoy the show?

Exactly as expected you'll find a strange titan next to the beasty

I love Mikasa’s improved design and hope they show more of her working in a team like the manga. Focusing on the mission ect without pandering

RIP nameless soldier killed by Reiner.

Very happy to get a glimpse at best girl Pieck

Really no questions about our exactly right girl in this poll ? I am dissapointed :/

Watching this episode is bringing back all the suspense and awe I felt when I read this part in the manga. What a treat to be able to relive it!

They did a great job at keeping the tension and the "well shit everything's about to go wrong" from chapters 73 and 74, and managed to make the explosion at the end worth it, despite the fact I still think Reiner's continued survival throughout the arc is stupid and wish the anime had changed it so it'd be more believable, but here we are.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 514 Responses

Thank you to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again in a few days!

[officialjameelajamil]

I weigh

Today is my 32nd birthday.

This is the best birthday I’ve ever had because I’ve woken up to thousands of women sending me pictures and messages about the things they love about their lives, and the things they have done that they are most proud of. This has been going on for days now.

I was scrolling through “explore” on Instagram (always a certified mine field for one’s self esteem) and came across this disastrously damaging picture.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A group shot of grown women with their respective weights posted across each of their bodies, and the post asking what we think of their weights and then asking its followers, “What do you weigh?”

WHO CARES? What kind of crazed toxic nonsense is this? What is this post trying to achieve other than to induce anxiety into young women about something so entirely irrelevant? What are we teaching women about our value? Can it be measured using a metric system? Why do so many posts like this exist on social media? How is anyone supposed to get through the fucking day happy with themselves when we are given such unreasonable and shallow goals to achieve, falling short of which, no matter who we are, what we do, how many lives we save, how many children we raise, how many people’s lives we touch, we are not worth anything.

I snapped. I am just done. I’m so done with seeing this and letting it pass me by. It’s so dangerous and disgusting. It’s so belittling and abusive. We are subliminally bullied all day by the magazines, the side bar of shame, social media, and by each other. The onslaught is so aggressive that we are going to have to retaliate with 10 times the strength to undo all of the damage to the global psyche of women. So I posted this:

A small ode to the brilliant life that I am so lucky to live, that I built by myself from scratch, to the friends I am so lucky to have and to my self worth. This is how I measure myself. What I did, how I made people feel and how much I have enjoyed myself. It has taken me 10 years to get to the realisation that I am worth more than the digits on a measuring tape. And more importantly, the push back against body shaming shouldn’t just be about how much we love our flaws, it should be about something that isn’t really about the body at all. Self acceptance is important. But we deserve more than acceptance. Let’s step as far away from the conversation about our bodies as possible and make acclaim, integrity, achievement, contribution to society and kindness: Values worth shouting about again.

I posted it on twitter, and within an hour women started sending me their own ones. There were too many to keep track of. It happened so fast. The pictures were amazing. None of them were posed and filtered, nobody was contoured to within an inch of their life, or sucking anything in. It was women living their lives, writing down all of the things they were grateful for and proud of. All of the degrees they have, the babies they made, the cancer they beat or are fighting, their families they love, the disabilities they live with or help with, the relationships they have built, the companies they started. Just women waking up and remembering that they are valuable, and they do important, difficult, incredible things. Things that are more than just achieving the perfect lip liner, losing baby weight quickly or being able to EAT PIZZA WHILST AT A LINGERIE PHOTOSHOOT!!! (WOWWEE!)

Here are some of my favourites:

Women of every size and shape and age and background sent me their declarations of self love and clapped back at the shame they have been drenched in their whole lives. We are attacked by this beast our WHOLE DAMN LIVES. Bemused parents are writing to me that social media has their 8 year olds talking about diets and what they dislike about their tiny growing bodies. We are facing an epidemic of self hatred. Instagram while sometimes an amazing way for us to share, is in many ways, hurtling us at light speed towards the demise of what the suffragettes were building.

We lack focus because we are concentrating on the wrong things. Most of the women I know wake up much earlier than men to get ready, and spend much of their time and money on complete nonsense like manicures and pedicures, hair treatments, and waxing. Women bleach their bumholes. THEY BLEACH THEIR BUMHOLES. This is how far we have gone with our pursuit of perfection, that we are no longer satisfied with the natural colour of an area almost nobody in the world will ever see. We have to be thin, but with big breasts and bottoms, gravity free, spotless, hairless, ageless, light skinned but always with a year round sun kissed glow; we must be fun and eat pizza and drink beer but also completely cellulite free and we must all have tiny noses and enormous eyes and lips but with skinny faces, but our skinny faces must never look gaunt and old.

And after all this, and after all the work we do, that we do as much of as men, ON SUBSTANTIALLY fewer calories than we probably need, we get judged more and paid less anyway.

NO. I’m sorry but at some point something has to give. We have to object. We have to do it together. Rather than just complaining about it, lets fill the void of sense with some perspective and some regard for the lives we are so lucky to live. An education is a luxury and a beautiful thing, not afforded to millions of women in the world. Bringing children into the world and raising them to be happy and healthy and kind is a great achievement, that literally builds the world. Surviving illness and war and trials of mental health makes a warrior out of you. Fighting for the rights of those who have no voice is heroic and important. Reading and writing and filling yourself with knowledge makes you so much more fun to spend the day with. Travelling and being independent and supporting yourself is the sign of a woman in control of her life.

We spend our lives in pursuit of the approval of others when we don’t yet even really approve of ourselves. My opinion of me is now (and only very recently) the one that matters.

I remember being 15, miserable and so relentlessly disappointed in myself, thinking it didn’t matter that I had a full academic scholarship and that I had a job and good grades, a Grade 8 in piano and I was a good kid, because my hip bones didn’t jut out, I had a round face and my thighs were forever touching. I was taught nothing else mattered. And that my fat covered up my achievements. I am so, so aware of the damage the media does to a vulnerable mind, it ruined the first 20 years of my life.

I found this really sad old drawing I did of myself when I 16, with what I felt I had to look like in order to be accepted by girls at school, and society in general.

I can’t sit by and read the messages of self hatred that teenage girls send me, about how they hate themselves for not looking like Victoria’s Secret models. I can’t watch what happened to me, happen to them.

I hereby call out every newspaper run by a man that shames women about their appearance.

I hereby call out journalists who write passive-aggressive shaming articles about weight gain and congratulatory ones about women who lose weight.

I hereby MASSIVELY call out celebrities who don’t document what it takes for them to look the way they do. If you have had surgery, say something. If you have a strict diet and workout regime, say something. It is UNFEMINIST to push an image that was created in the fantasy lab of the patriarchy, essentially that of a sex doll, to other women, and pretend that it comes naturally to you, and that junk food and lying down in expensive hotel suites is what keeps you beautiful. You have a platform and have to use it responsibly.

I hereby call out the fashion industry for STILL after 10 years of being called out, perpetuating the idea that expensive clothing only looks good on stick thin, barely pubescent girls. (None of whom can afford your bloody clothes)

I hereby call out the women who troll other women online about their appearances.

I hereby call out the trolls that live in our own heads and eradicate all of our achievements and shower us in self-doubt and loathing.

In this uprising of female power we must realise we are being set absurd extra goals, thick and fast. The further we come as a gender, the more ridiculous the ideals we have to fulfil become. We are being distracted and exhausted and our eyes are being taken off the ball. Every minute you spend thinking about how thin or gorgeous you aren't, is a minute you aren’t spending on growing your business or your life.

I’m not saying it’s not important to watch out for your health. I’m not saying your BMI isn’t something to pay attention to. I do think it’s important to try to be active and put good food into your engine. But I also think the shame and feeling of failure is what drives us to the unhealthy eating habits we acquire to “comfort” us when we feel inferior and depressed. It’s a catch 22.

And by all means take pride in your appearance. Enjoy your looks, and your clothes and your sex appeal, but don’t make it your number one concern and selling point. It can be in your top ten, but it should never, ever define you. It isn’t important. We aren’t supposed to all look the same. And nothing good ever comes of self hatred. It will never further you. It will always hold you back.

Please think of the things in your life that you are proud of, that fulfil you, that make you happy and write them down somewhere, and look at that list every time you feel that you are failing, or that your jeans are tight, or you have a chubby arm in a group photo of a night out, or when you watch a video of a Hadid eating pasta.

Please remember you have every right to be here, and your life is important and it is precious, and on your death bed you aren’t going to be thinking about your love handles.

I love women and we deserve so much more than this. We can do better. We have to.

We can win the revolution against shame.

[sallywiththeface]

The Eye of the Beholder

Sal/Larry Tags/Warnings: angst, fluff, anxiety, facial dysmorphia, potential body horror? (Just a description of Sal's disfiguration and some of the medical procedures and reconstruction), mutual pining, first person perspective, PTSD. This is just a drabble I wrote last night based on some headcanons and ideas that have been building up for me. I'm also welcome to critique and feedback! This is likely a WIP and I'll probably add to it and delete this original post later to repost the new versions as I go along, but we'll see. Enjoy! 🖤 ---------------------------------------- I stare blankly into the mirror in Larry’s bathroom, lost in my own reflection. This happened often, I'd lose track of time, gaping at the glass as I searched over and over for anything left behind from before the incident. Wishing I could find anything to remind me of how I used to look. I'd forgotten my own face not long after I'd lost it. I'm ripped from my trance as a knock sounds at the door “Sal? You still alive in there buddy? It's been like 20 minutes.” Larry's familiar voice almost immediately soothed my nerves, easing the lump of anxiety I'd felt rising in my chest. “Yeah uhm...I'll be right out.” I fasten my prosthetic back into place and come out, sighing softly and attempting to appear as calm as ever. Despite having no way of seeing my expression, Larry always saw right through my facade, he could read my body language like a book. “You look on edge, you sure you're alright?” I try to nod silently but make a resigned grunt instead before speaking, “Honestly, not exactly. Had a small identity crisis in the mirror again-” Larry pulls a sympathetic face and pats the spot next to him on the couch. Lisa wasn't home at the time, so we felt more comfortable being in the living area than normal, “You wanna talk about it?” I nod and take a seat. I'm not usually so open but something about Larry's presence was comforting in and of itself, allowing me to actually be trusting for once. “I made the mistake of removing my prosthetic and I got lost staring at myself again. It feels like I'm looking at a stranger, but I also don't even remember well enough what I looked like before aside from the few pictures we had of me back then. It's like the trauma wiped my ability to recognize myself.” Larry nods silently, simply listening to me without judgement or pressure. “I can't imagine how that feels, but I'm sure it's really confusing and frustrating.” “You have no idea man, it's the strangest thing.” I pause, mind suddenly going off track as I realize that my best friend has never gotten to see my face in all the time we've known each other. We drift into a comfortable silence as I continue to think, and Larry watches me in mild confusion, but waits patiently. Moments pass that feel like hours before I speak “You've never seen my face.” I blurt awkwardly, mouth running without my consent. Larry's eyes widen for a moment before returning to normal “I...yeah I haven't. I figured we'd get to that when you're comfortable. There's no rush.” “Do you want to see my face, Larry? It's not like I don't trust you at this point.” Larry blinks, seeming slightly taken aback “If you're ready to show me, I'd love to see what my best friend looks like, yes.” I bite my lip behind my prosthetic, mustering the nerve to actually go through with showing him. I remind myself that he wouldn't be like the others, he would never belittle me. “Just a second.” I turn away from him and start unfastening the straps, taking a deep breath to steel myself. “Take your time, Sal. Whenever you're ready-” I smile softly to myself, slipping my prosthetic away and placing it on the table next to the couch. “Just...don't freak out.” “Aw cmon Sal, you know better.” He was right, I did. I slowly face him, watching his expression shift through emotions as he takes in the details of my face, compassion, sadness, pain (he probably was imagining the attack as I'd described it). His gaze roves from my eyes to my mouth, where the deep pit of a scar on my left cheek reveals a hole in my face that had never healed properly, my canines exposed if you looked closely enough. His eyes then shifted to take in the rest, my poorly reconstructed nose, my taut and stretched eyelids, the teeth marks and shredded scars, traces of skin grafts covering every inch of my visage. There wasn't a trace of pity in his expression, and for that I was thankful. Then he surprised me, and smiled. “So this is the real you, Sally Face.” In my shock, I could feel myself blink back tears. Larry's brow furrows in concern immediately “What's wrong?” I laugh quietly and shake my head “These are tears of relief, Larry.” I wipe at my eyes with my sleeve, smiling at him. There was a look on his face I’d never seen before, a soft and compassionate smirk. “You have a nice smile, you know? I'm glad to know what it looks like finally.” “Oh don't patronize me now Larry, I look like one of those toddlers that's shoved their face into spaghetti-” he looks mildly offended, “I'm serious. It's a genuine and sweet smile.” I roll my eyes “If you insist, Larry Face.” I reach for my prosthetic and Larry looks disappointed “Uh, if you don't mind, could you keep it off a bit longer? I understand if not. It's just nice to see your expressions-” I stare at him, so he really was serious, wasn't he? “Sure, I suppose.” He cracks a wide smile “You know, you should let me paint you sometime. The you behind the prosthetic.” I raise an eyebrow at him quizzically “This grotesque mug?” He looks offended again, “You're too hard on yourself about it. I think you see it as worse than it is because of the things people have said to you.” Ouch. That one hit the nail on the head. “You're...probably right, but it's something I do to cope, I guess.” He nudges my side with his elbow “I guess that means I need to start loading you with compliments to make up for the damage they caused then, huh? And not just fake pity compliments either. I'm not about that, it's gotta be authentic.” “Why are you so nice to me, dude?” “I figured it’s about time someone was.” I shake my head with a small smile, leaning my head against his shoulder “That's cheesy. You're a dweeb.” “You know it, Sally Face.” _________________________________ Larry had the most fascinating expressions when he was drawing, and he had uniquely handsome features. Not in the conventional sense, he had a long pointed nose, eyebrows that were bit too thick by most people's standards, and his hair was rarely clean; yet he also had a sharp jawline and broad shoulders atop his thin frame, his skin dusted in freckles and beauty marks, including the darkest one under his right eye. To me, he was just gorgeous, and even if he never washed his hair, I wanted to tangle my fingers in it and never let go. I was always zoning out and staring at him while he was sketching something across the room, hair falling into his face. I had no idea what he was drawing, but occasionally he'd glance up at me and I would quickly avert my eyes, as if that weren't just as obvious as my gawking. Real subtle, Sal. I had realized not long after showing him my face weeks before, it was unavoidable at this point. I had a huge crush on my best friend. My best friend who was, presumably, not into guys. What a mess. Part of me wanted to tell him because I knew he wouldn't be grossed out or hate me, but there was still a chance it would change things, that we'd become distant. What if he didn't want me to stay over as much? What if he was grossed out by it but would be too nice to tell me so? What if I'm just freaking myself out over nothing? The latter is the most likely, but that doesn't make it any easier to form the words, ‘Hey man, I've been thinking about kissing you a lot lately.’ Or ‘Hey man, I’d really fucking love to fall asleep in your arms instead of just lying next to you.’ When did this attraction even start? It's not exactly shocking but damn. I sigh, the sound drowned out by the sound of ‘Singular’ by Sanity’s Fall playing loudly. I wish it could drown out my thoughts and help me think about anything else. Lately these thoughts would always flood my mind around him. It was becoming overwhelming and I knew if I couldn't figure out how to say it soon to get closure, I'd explode. I gnaw my lip and stare over at my prosthetic, lying on Larry’s dresser. Fuck it. I reach over and turn down the music, causing Larry to look up at me. “Something up? You seem like you're a million miles away right now.” “I have something to tell you. It's not easy to say either, but if I don't say it soon I'll snap.” He blinks and closes his sketchbook, giving me his undivided attention. “Go for it.” I bite my lip again and search for the words, picking at the fray in the knee of my jeans. “I hope this doesn't make anything weird, but I think I might-...” I drift off, words catching in my throat, “-no, there's no might about it, I have more than platonic feelings for you Larry. God I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable or that it doesn't change anything, and I understand if you don't feel the same at all. I just needed to get it off my chest, honestly…” I stare at my hands, afraid to look at him. The silence hangs in the air like smog, and I can hardly breathe. Just as I think I'll crumble under the tension, he speaks, “Why would that change anything or make me uncomfortable, Sal?” My gaze lifts and I finally see his face. Once again he surprises me by smiling, “You're still my best friend. Maybe I'll need time to process this new info and determine how I feel, but I promise you that it won't change anything for the worse.” And once again, I find myself blinking back tears of relief, only this time I can't hold them back. Tears roll down my cheeks and I choke out a single laugh, the sound catching in my throat from my shortness of breath. “You know Sal, you're not the only one questioning our relationship here. I haven't been sure and I'm still confused, but I-... hell I don't even know myself, really. All I know is sometimes I think things that aren't normal to think of someone who's just your friend.” I stare at him, mouth slightly agape, “Like what?” He glances away nervously and runs a hand through his hair, “Things like, wanting to hold your hand, or hug you for longer than usual...and kind of wanting to kiss you.” His voice grew so quiet near the end that I was almost convinced I’d misheard him, but no. He had really been thinking the same sort of things I had. Before I could stop myself the words left my mouth, “Me too.” We exchange a look in silence, the ten or so feet between us seeming to close in as we hold eye contact for much longer than normal. He stands slowly and sets his sketchbook aside, hands shaking ever so slightly, the only sign of his nervousness. My eyes track him as he hesitantly crosses the room before looming over me. “Can I kiss you?” He asks quietly, the words coming out as barely more than a whisper. I'd never seen him so timid. When I finally process his question my face heats and I nod, muttering softly, “Yes.” Both of us lean in slowly, each second seeming to drag on forever before our lips finally connect. The kiss is brief and innocent, lips pressed together for just a moment, yet when we withdrew from it we both were glowing red and staring at each other silently. I wonder if he can hear my heart drumming against my ribcage, but find that I don't care. We both smile sheepishly and laugh as I hide my face in my hands and he sets his hands on my shoulders gently, “For now, we'll just take our time to figure out how we feel before we rush in any further, sound alright?” I look out from behind my hands and nod, unable to stop smiling. _________________________________ I had finally agreed to let him paint me. After weeks of Larry occasionally pestering me about it, I begrudgingly decided to let him. I didn't really think I was anything worth painting, but he had told me that was just what I'd been conditioned to think of myself by the bullies. I'm now sitting with Larry in his room, relaxing on his bed as usual while he sits across from me and sketches the layout of his painting, looking between me and the page every few moments. The silence starts to bother me, so I speak, trying my best to not move, “Why is it you want to paint me so badly?” He smiles, looking down at his work, “Glad you asked. See, I think you represent a special kind of beauty.” I stare at him, expression blank, “I mean it. To me you're pretty because you're just Sal. If I must, I could even list things about you that are physically beautiful.” I snort quietly, nearly rolling my eyes but deciding against it, “Try me.” He looks up at me and meets my eyes, “Your hair is pretty and soft, your eyes are the most stunning blue, the crinkles in the corners of your eyes when you smile are precious and I can even see them when you wear your prosthetic. Before you stopped wearing it all the time that's the only way I could tell you were smiling. You have delicate hands, and a cute frame, I could keep going if you need me too-” I realize as he's speaking that my face feels warm and he laughs, “Don't look so surprised Sal. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's all subjective. Like a work of art, and that's why I think you're a perfect subject to paint.” I stare at him wordlessly and without thinking I shift to lean over and kiss his cheek before returning to my former position. “Thank you, it means so much coming from you.” His cheeks flush ever so slightly and he returns to sketching with a smile, both of us sitting in almost silence once again as we listen to the music playing quietly from across the room. Lisa was home, so we kept it down. As if on queue when I thought of her, Lisa knocks and pokes her head into the room, glancing between us and at Larry's sketch. A soft smile crosses her lips as she speaks, “Dinner’s ready if you boys are hungry, not to interrupt your artistic flow, Hon.” “Thanks, mom.” We both answer simultaneously. She laughs and steps back out. I'd accidentally referred to her as mom once and it had just stuck. I had a sinking suspicion she knew about the recently changed nature of our relationship, but if so she didn't seem to mind at all. Larry and I had discussed how to tell her properly, but hadn't gotten around to it. “We should tell her tonight.” I say as Larry makes finishing touches on the sketch, so we could take a dinner break, “I mean, what better time to bring it up than over a meal?” He nods agreeably and closes his sketchbook, “Alright. I think we're ready for that. It's not like she'll have a problem with it. Mom’s told me about her past girlfriends from her school days.” I raise my eyebrows and smirk, “Oh?? So you're mom’s not just into guys? The more ya know, I guess.” We make our way out to the living room. We usually would eat in there over the coffee table. Somehow it made the atmosphere of meals more relaxed, and I feel my slight nerves about telling her calm down. We take our seats on the couch, each picking our plates up from the table and thanking Lisa before we start to eat. After a few minutes of small talk and silent eating, Larry clears his throat and sets his fork down, “So, Mom, I-...we have something to tell you.” She smiles knowingly but only says, “Oh? What's that?” “Sal is...kind of my boyfriend now.” Lisa smirks and chuckles to herself, “Henry owes me 10 bucks. He thought it would be a few more months before you told one of us.” I choke on a bite of chicken, laughing when I recover, “You and dad placed bets on this???” She snorts, “Sal sweetheart it's been obvious for a while now.” I resist the urge to hide my face in my hands and Larry groans, “Mom what the hell.” She laughs again before sighing happily, “In all seriousness though, I'm happy for you two and I support you to the ends of the earth. You're good for each other. Sal is one of the best additions to the family I could hope for, and if you're happy I'm happy, son.” She and Larry exchange a loving look before she turns to me, “Just take care of my boy, Sally.” I smile and nod, “I wouldn't have it any other way.”

[jetbootcollection]

Blue Balled by the Blue Paladin

Characters: Pidge, Lance, Green Lion

Ships: Pidge/Lance

Rating: Explicit

Words: 5103

Summary: Five times Lance interrupts Pidge, and one time she helps herself.

Trigger Warnings: Rape, Masturbation, Drug Use, Lance Being a Responsible Gentleman, Bedsheet Bondage, Changing Perspective

Pidge was something of an early bloomer when it came to masturbation, having discovered the adult side of the internet at a relatively young age. After the loss of the Kerberos Mission, she had taken to using it as stress relief every few days. By the time she had enrolled at the Garrison as a boy she was doing it almost every night, which she justified by telling herself that it was so she could avoid developing inconvenient feeling for the cadets around her. Keeping it a secret had not been too hard. Having no roommate certainly helped, and months of clandestine sessions with her parents asleep across the hall had trained her to be completely silent.

Now that she was crammed into living with four stupidly attractive young men and a literal goddess of a princess, she was having a bit more trouble controlling the tension. To make matters worse, a slow puberty was hanging over her head, ready to drop a truck load of hormones on her. She was sure she could handle it as long as she kept up with it. A quick one every other day in her free time was enough for now.

As the Galra War dragged on, she craved stimulation more and more. She was careful to keep it subtle, sneaking it into her usual routine with clever multitasking. And it worked for a while. But now it was taking more and more focus to get off. She knew her teammates were going to find out at some point and she needed to stop, but sometimes it was all that got her through the day without snapping at people.

The first time she was caught was in the Green Lion’s hangar. The mood had struck her while running a maintenance scan on her Lion’s hydraulics. This scan took no more attention than watching a progress bar, so she let a hand wander up the front of her shirt. Leaning on the workbench, she closed her eyes to enjoy the sensation. Before long the hem of her shirt is in the crook of her elbow, raised high enough reveal her sports bra and the hand underneath.

Between the beeping of the diagnostic equipment and her own distraction, she did not hear the door until it closed with a clunk. Her eyes snap open to see Lance across the room.

“Oh! Lance. Hi.” She squeaks while pulling down her shirt hastily.

“Should I come back or…” he had seen some skin and was curious.

“Nope. Just a stubborn itch that won’t go away. What’s up?” She wasn’t lying. It just wasn’t that kind of itch.

“Just came by to see if you remember how much money comes with Monopoly. I’m thinking about making a set.”

“I’m not going to let you corrupt Allura and Coran with that awful game. Monopoly is objectively the worst board game ever created and I don’t what the best alien friends we have getting the wrong impression of Earth.”

“Okay, Geez. You make it sound like people have killed over this game.”

“What makes you think I haven’t?” She said menacingly, trying her best to make her eyes look dead and ominous.

Lance throws his hands up in defeat and turns to leave. Clearly he was not going to get any help from her. When the door closes behind him, Pidge leans back on the bench and tilts her head up to meet her Lion’s eye.

“You don’t think he saw anything, do you?” She asks Green. The metal Lion gently rumbles with a sound Pidge had come to know as the equivalent of a shrug. “I’ll have to be more careful.”

The second time was when Lance went to get her when she was late to training. Shiro did his usual head count and found the shortest head to be missing. This was far from the first time this had happened, so Hunk pulled out the marked sticks from his bag and held them out for the group to draw from. Lance drew the green stick, and he was not about to argue with this sacred decision. Keith was kind enough to let Lance know that he had seen her walking toward her room.

As Lance approached the door opened automatically. Pidge was taking off her shirt with one hand and pulling on her boxers with the other.

“Out!” She screamed without even seeing who it was.

“Lo siento hermana!” Lance apologizes automatically, backing into the hall to let the door close.

As Lance waits outside for her, he can’t help but think about what he had seen. Good thing Pidge took her time getting dressed so his blush could go down.

“Why didn’t you knock?” she asks as she comes out in full armor.

“I tried!” he lies. “And why are you late? We always have practice before lunch on Mondays.”

“But today is Sund…wait, you’re right.” She conceded, having pulled an all nighter yet again. The days were blending together to the point of forgetting when she had free time. She had been on edge ever since Lance had caught her in the hangar, too paranoid that someone would walk in on her to even try. And the moment she thinks she can get away with it, he catches her with her shorts down. This was already the longest drought she could remember, and it was only getting worse. Never mind that it was she who had a hand in her underwear during a scheduled event. It was totally his fault.

She made sure to kick Lance’s butt during training.

The third time Lance was on a tech support visit to fix his holopad. No one else seemed to have as much trouble with theirs, but he somehow managed to pull a nonresponsive pad out of his coat pocket almost once a month. All he could think of that it was the pocket itself doing it, but even his tech-illiterate brain knew that couldn’t be it. Regardless of the cause, Pidge was the only one that could fix it without giving him a lecture on taking care of personal technology.

He actually does try to knock this time, having learned his lesson. The door opens automatically anyway.

“Hey Pidge, my holooooooo…” He stops at the sound of a laptop slamming shut. Pidge is seated at her desk, facing away from the door. The plush office chair she had built was too large to see her or what she had been doing, but Lance grew up with sisters and he knew.

“Lance. Turn around, wait about 20 seconds, then try again.” She said with a perfect impression of Commander Iverson’s deceptively calm ‘follow orders if you want to live’ voice. Needless to say, Lance immediately took two steps to the right to get out of the door sensor’s range.

Listening to Pidge getting dressed was becoming an all too frequent occurrence. This door was going to be the death of him if this kept happening. Of all the reasons he had thought he might die at the hands of an angry women for, an automatic door was definitely not on the list. He waited a full minute once the noise inside had stopped, just to be sure she had calmed down, and took two steps to the left.

“Hey Pidge, my holopad is on the fritz.” He started again as the door opened. This time Pidge was on her bed with headphones on, and hopped up to assist him as if nothing had happened. Her face told a different tale, however. She looked almost sunburnt with how red she was, but it was fading fast.

“Let’s take a look down in my hangar. I don’t have my tools with me.” She lied straight through her teeth. Lance could see her tool kit at the foot of the bed but he was a good enough sibling to know when a girl wanted him out of her room. The walk down to the hangar was in complete silence, enforced the heat still radiating off Pidge’s cheeks.

Cracking open the casing of the holopad was a welcome distraction. Somehow Lance had managed to stop the perpetual motion crystal that powered the device from spinning. A quick flick to set it in motion again and all that was left was to fix the short circuits the lack of power had caused. Once the holopad was fixed and Lance was gone, Pidge walked over to flop on top of Green’s paw.

“That boy will be the death of me.” She told the Lion, her check pressed into the armor plating. By now she had lost track of how many days it had been since her last release, and being forced to stop half-way was not helping in the slightest.  Through her bond with the Lion she could feel a reassuring pat on the back. A stray thought to hide from Lance inside the Lion flowed back to Green, who was surprisingly okay with the idea. “Thanks for the offer, girl. But I’m not in the mood anymore. Maybe later.”

The fourth time was during a mission. The team was doing a stakeout, and Pidge had been paired up with Lance and Keith to keep watch over a mountain pass outside a city. After a few hours of playing solitaire with the deck of handmade cards she had brought, Pidge was decidedly bored. Leaning back into her seat, she took her helmet off and lazily dropped it to the floor. Wearing armor for this long with nothing to show for it was stifling.

Without even thinking she undid the clips on her breastplate and lifted it over her head. The Green Lion purrs in her mind to remind her exactly where she is. Green knew what Pidge was about to do, and would rather she didn’t accidentally bump the controls.

“Oh. Right. I’ll use the bathroom.” Pidge said distantly to the ceiling. She was horny enough to be lost in her own little world. Behind the cockpit was a small living space in the Lion’s torso. It was meant to be a place to rest on long missions and was easily put to shame by the dorms they had back at the Garrison. By the time she makes it to the divider that separates the bathroom from what passed as the main living area, she is down to her base layer.

Peeling off the black body suit could not happen fast enough for her. She turned to face the mirror and saw her naked self for the first time in what felt like forever. Her thoughts immediately stray into fantasies about Allura sweeping her off her feet. Pidge thought of herself as straight but damn was the princess hot. Just imagining her silk dress falling to the floor, revealing the exotic beauty underneath, was enough to get her wet.

Meanwhile, Lance was in the Blue Lion failing to pass the time gracefully. Try as he might, there was just nothing to distract him. Looking out over the landscape though the view screen for the millionth time, his eye is drawn to the Green Lion standing a fair distance away behind some trees. Lance really wanted to have someone to talk to, and maybe having a normal conversation with Pidge would help smooth over the awkwardness between them.

Weighing the alternative of calling Keith, he opens a com channel to Pidge. Even if she did nothing but growl at him it would be better than that big ball of emo. As the display window blinks into existence, Lance sees an empty green chair.

“Guys, I think Pidge went for a walk.” He tells the others over the group channel. The other Paladins take a second to confirm the empty chair on their own display windows just in case Lance had gone crazy from the boredom. Lord knows they were getting to that point themselves.

“We would have seen her leave.” Keith notes. He was right of course. The rocks in the area were a dark navy blue that would contrast against their white armor.

“We can never be too careful. Lance, check her Lion for signs of a fight. Keith, search the surrounding area. Hopefully she just got bored.” Came Shiro’s reply. He sounded like his usual commanding self but his boredom was palpable, almost as if taking a walk to pass the time sounded like a good idea.

Lance grumbles to himself for having been picked yet again to check on Pidge. It wasn’t like the others were never picked, just that he seemed to be the only one to catch her at a bad time. He makes his way over to the Green Lion and uses the emergency ladder to get in. The particle barrier was down, so she could not have gone far.

Inside, Pidge was well on her way to her first release in…how long had it been? She had braced herself against the wall, then slid down to sit on the floor. She could swear the floor was warmer than usual and vibrating gently. Quickly attributing it to Green trying to help, she makes a mental note to thank her later and gets back to work. Climbing higher and higher, she could feel the payoff coming ever closer.

“Pidge? You in here?” Lance suddenly calls from the other side of the divider, accompanied by the sound of the emergency ladder hatch opening in the middle of the floor.

“GHAW!” Pidge exclaimed, suddenly thankful she had not been standing as her legs spasm in surprise. In a moment of panic, she comes up with a flimsy excuse. “Can’t a girl use the bathroom in peace!?”

Lance looks around the room and finds most of her armor scattered around. Peeking around the end to the divider to the bathroom was what looked like the sleeve of a black body suit.

“My bad. You weren’t there when I called so I came over to check.” He said trying to keep his cool despite the fact that there was likely a naked woman that had every right to hate him on the other side of a thin wall.

“I…I’ll be right out. You can head back to your Lion.” When she hears the hatch to the ladder lock shut, she slumps before standing up to wash her hands and wipe down her thighs. “I know I shouldn’t have, but it’s been so long and we had the time.” She says to the wall, hugging her stomach to ease away yet another ruined moment. The Green Lion purrs in sympathy and apology. At least there was someone in the universe that understood her plight.

The fifth time was entirely Pidge’s fault, start to finish. At some point she had casually brought up human standards of privacy to Allura, and the princess approved her project on the condition that no doors ever actually get locked. They need to be able to respond to emergencies, after all. So Pidge installed a simple switch in everyone’s quarters that toggles a green light and a red light in the hallway. Red was the sign for ‘locked,’ and everyone agreed to respect it by staying clear of the automatic doors. The Paladins were quick to adjust to the new system. After a few days, it was like the lights had been there from the very beginning.

Pidge was late to dinner one evening and Coran had asked Lance and Hunk to get her. Hunk went off to her hangar, where she was more likely to be, which left Lance to check her room. The light outside her door was green, so she was probably down at the hangar. Ever since she had installed those lights she had it set to red anytime she was in there. But he had to check.

Not expecting her to even be there, he’s surprised to see that she is again at her desk. Her chair is turned to the side a bit to allow her to put a leg up over the armrest, giving Lance a partial view of her laptop. Before she can close it, he thought he saw some erotic looking aliens.

“Oh my god Lance.” She said in that voice that is usually reserved for when she had not slept in three days. It wasn’t an angry voice, just dead tired to the point of stretching syllables. There was no way she could have known it was him, but at this point, who else would it be?

“Sorry! Dinner’s ready!” Lance spurts before running away.

He gets to the dining hall and is surprised yet again when Pidge shows up not five minutes later. Her hair is a mess and her clothes are disheveled. She was wearing her headphones and an upset look on her face. Shiro shoots Lance a disapproving look as if he had done this to Pidge.

“You know, if you wanted to sleep through dinner you could have just flipped your door to red.” Lance tried to play it off as if he had woken her from a nap. Everyone seemed to buy it.

Pidge mumbles something in Altean that earns a small gasp from Allura. When she takes her headphones off, her ears are bright red. Five people at the table think it’s because of leaving her headphones on too long. Two people knew the truth. And one person decides she would need to take drastic measures.

This time, Lance was wondering the halls late at night trying to clear his head. Pidge deserved an apology, but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up. Back home he had walked in on siblings plenty of times, but they had always gotten a good laugh out of it in the long run. With Pidge, he felt he had stolen something precious from her. Their friendship was certainly suffering, having not exchanged so much as a single kind word since he had found out she wore boxers.

As he strolled back to his room he saw the red light outside Pidge’s door. Not tonight, then. He thought to himself. Right as he passes in front of her door on the far side of the hallway, he hears a moan. He freezes.

“Pidge…” escapes his lips. He is about to take another step when he hears motion inside her room, the door opens, and he suddenly finds himself flat on his back with a naked woman standing over him.

“Not this time.” Pidge says quietly like a woman possessed. Her irises were wide even as light flooded the hall from her room. “I’ve been blue balled by you for weeks now and I’m not going to take it anymore.”

Before Lance can ever protest that he had not done it on purpose, the small woman is already sitting on his chest to pin him down and presenting herself to him. Her fingers immediately go to work, and soon she is sliding up and down his chest to enjoy the roughness of his shirt.

Lance concludes that Pidge must be sick with some alien sex disease and is not fully in control. He also concludes that they are still in the hall. Not wanting to be seen in such a compromising position, he notices that the door to her room is still open thanks to Pidge judo throwing him closer to it. He lifts his legs then swings them down to get enough momentum to grab Pidge and roll into her room. This by no means stops her hands from performing their task. Pidge ends up under him as the door closes behind them.

“What has gotten into you?” He asks in a harsh whisper.

“You will, if I get my way.” She relies seductively.

Lance is so flustered by this he doesn’t notice her lift her legs up to slide off his pajama pants and underwear with her toes. When he does notice and tries to keep his pants on, Pidge takes advantage of the distraction to put the boy in a leg lock, skillfully inserting him. Her eyes roll as she immediately climaxes and goes limp with a long moan rolling off her tongue.

He makes an almighty effort to not continue. Pidge is clearly not herself and using her current state for his own needs would be wrong. He plants his hand on the floor and lifts himself off her. She shudders in aftershock as he slides out. Thinking fast, he rolls her up in a bedsheet, ties her hands and feet, and picks her up to cool down on the bed. Pulling his pants up, he takes a seat at the desk to wait out whatever ailed her. It takes several minutes before Pidge is coherent.

“…Oh quiznak…did I…”

“Yes you did. And I would love an explanation so I knew if I should be calling Coran to haul you down to the medbay.”

“NO!” Pidge said with a panic, embarrassed for what she had done. “I just…and we…I only…you kept interrupting me!”

“And I was meaning to apologize for that. But this was too far.”

“Yeah, well…I might have…resorted to drugs…” Pidge said looking ashamed of herself as she curled up inside her blanket cocoon, wanting desperately to hide her face. The knot behind her back meant she would have to use her knees to break line of sight with the boy she had just assaulted.

“What? Pidge, no. You’re too smart for that.”

“But it had been so long!”

She was on the edge of tears at this point. Lance knew better than to try to shame her for it. He had lost friends to drugs before, in more ways than one. Right now, she needed support. Looking over the desk he quickly finds a poorly hidden bag of pills.

“What’s this stuff called?” Lance asks, taking on a more academic tone as he held the bag up to the light. The white pills where small by Earth standards, and had flecks of gold on either end with a band of purple around the middle. He can’t help but wince at a joke Pidge had once made in the medbay about Altean designer drugs being true to name in both form and function.

“It’s…um…the Altean’s call it ‘Warrior’s Lust.’ It’s a…battle supplement the helps people…get off easier.” She answered slowly, fishing for terms to describe it in a less damning way.

“Mhmm.” Lance hums in response, opening Pidge’s laptop to look up the effects of the drug. He is immediately met with a mother lode of alien porn. Closing the first few tabs revealed tentacle monsters, demonic looking creatures, and, most notably, mermaids. “Tell you what. We get you sobered up, you send me this sweet stash of yours, and we never bring this up to the others. Deal?”

“Deal.” She accepts without hesitation. The drug was taking its toll on her. Right now she could think about things other than sex only with some effort, but every part of her body was hot and sensitive. She could feel the fuzziness creeping back into her mind.

Lance finally finds the bottom of the porn tabs. Opening the search directory, he quickly finds the page for the drug and skims through it. The main effects were sharpened senses and increased dexterity, at the cost of single minded pursuit of stimulation. According to the Castle’s database the medbay dispenses the drug in sets of six to be taken two at a time as needed. Checking the bag, there are three pills.

“Looks like you overdosed a bit. You’re only supposed to take two.” Looking back at the screen he finds the dosage chart. This was not his first rodeo. “Someone your size might be able to get by with one.”

“I thought it might have a weaker effect on humans.” Pidge defended, looking like she got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“Look. I can see you’re sorry, so stop beating yourself up about it. Let me get you some water.”

Lance is gone for maybe a minute when he comes back with a full water bottle.

“~Laaance~” Pidge said with a giggle. “I think it’s coming back.” She was squirming so much she had broken out of her cocoon and had nearly worked her feet free of the knot.

“Calm down, Pidge. Here.” He offers her the water and she drinks deeply from the bottle’s built in straw, somehow making this simple action look erotic. Something had to be done or he was going to fall for her tricks. “Let’s try getting you dressed.”

Pidge was by no means a paragon of femininity. The only things she had going for her were largely flawless skin and the cute ‘fun sized’ aesthetic. Still, making her decent would make this easier. He picks up a sports bra off the floor and unties her hands to put it on her. Pidge moans from the stimulation of sliding fabric. Lance works fast to not let her hands explore and makes sure to double knot then in front of her the second the bra is in place. Not wanting to overstimulate her with putting on shorts, he elects to fashion a diaper out of the bedsheet.

“We need to get you down to the medbay. I’m going to carry you on my shoulder.”

“But you said…”

“I’m not going to call Coran. Now, try to stay quiet.” He says, leaning down to pick her up. It quickly became apparent that she was not going to be able to hold still enough to stay on his shoulder, so he settled her on his back with her tied hands resting on his chest. Lance prays to whatever space god looks over this sector that no one else is awake to see them like this and starts to walk.

They didn’t run into anybody on their way down, and Pidge had only tried to grind on him for ten seconds before catching herself. Lance sets her down on a medical cot before heading over to the synthesizer. Warrior’s Lust would usually be remedied by manual stimulation, as the info page had put it, but with so much in her system Pidge needed internal help. He double checks the formula on his holopad before punching it into the machine.

“Hey pretty boy. Untie me so we can have some fun.”

“No, Pidge. Take your meds and get some sleep.” The irony of turning down a ready and willing woman was not lost on him. At least she was willing to swallow the antidote. It would take time to set in, and Pidge was only getting more restless, so Lance decides it’s in their best interest to use the cot’s restraining straps. “I’ll grab you some clothes for the morning and leave Shiro a note saying you’re sick. Be right back.”

Once the note was stuck outside Shiro’s door, he grabbed her armor’s base layer from her room and went back to make sure her head hadn’t exploded. She had already fallen asleep but was tossing and turning as much as she could under the straps. He shook his head at everything that had happened, set an alarm to wake him up in a few hours to get her dressed properly, and laid back onto another cot.

When Pidge woke up the next morning she was confused as to why she was strapped to a bed wearing nothing but her armor’s base layer. She strained against the straps to lift her head high enough to get a good look at the room. This was definitely the medbay. Had a mission gone bad? Did she get zapped while fixing something? Or was it the pills she had taken? Groggy memories of last night started to filter in, telling her it was absolutely the pills.

“I hope Lance can forgive me.” She says to herself, letting her head fall back onto the pillow.

“Already have. Or I will, once you forward me that porn stash of yours.” Lance replied from his cot, surprising Pidge.

“You saw that, didn’t you?” Lance’s nod made her feel even more deflated. “Fine, I’ll forward it to you. Now get these off me.”

“Not so fast, my little harlot. First you have to tell me what the sexiest thing you can think of right now.” He said while getting off his cot.

“What?! Lance!” She could see he was not letting her out without an answer. “Fine. Um, kissing, I guess?”

“Perfect. I think you’re cured.” Satisfied, he undid the straps. And not a moment too soon, as Shrio walked in the moment she sat up.

“I got Lance’s note. You alright, Pidge?”

“Yeah. Just some…feminine problems.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow at this but let it go. They had not been friendly lately, so he would expect her to pick Hunk for this sort of thing.

“Good to hear. Take it easy during training today.”

She did one better and sat out of training. Lance volunteered to keep an eye on her, which Shiro and Allura both agreed to. As they sat in the observation booth, they found themselves alone when Coran announced the machine that dispensed the Gladiators needed adjustment.

“Don’t wait up for me. This looks like it will take a while.” He had said on his way out. Pidge took one look at Lance now that they were alone and sat on her hands. There was not taking back what she had done.

“You want to talk about it? I don’t remember all of it but…”

“It’s cool, Pidge. Super geniuses like you pull crazy stunts all the time thinking it’s the best thing to do.” He was basing this entirely off movies, but the point was the same. “And the only things bruised are my elbow and my ego.”

“Good thing your ego is so healthy.” She jabbed. It was nice talking to Lance again, even if it was awkward.

With the tension diffused, a comfortable silence settles between them as they watch their teammates on the training deck below. But something was still bothering Pidge. Maybe it was the residual effects of the drugs, but she felt that it needed to be said.

“If it’s worth anything, I think you’ve got a pretty nice dick.”

“And you are downright cute. I wouldn’t mind another round.” Lance replies with some well-practiced finger guns and a lady-killer smile.

They both stare at each other, trying to decide if the other was serious. Pidge is the first to crack and they both burst into laughter at the awful attempts at flirting.

    Notes:

Don’t do drugs folks. Self-medication is never the answer to life’s big problems.

Sorry if this wasn’t as sexy as you thought it would be. It’s my first time writing smut, and I was going more for a tone of frustration than anything else.

Yes, Pidge wears boxers. She was in full boy mode when they left Earth and they have yet to update their wardrobe. Besides, boxers are comfy and easy to wear.

Also, yes, girls can get blue balled. Sudden changes in blood flow in response to changing situations can do that, even if the amount of blood in question is smaller for girls. Google it.

This was supposed to be a quick afternoon dabble, but they just kept talking… And now this is the longest thing I have ever written.