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#damaged but beautiful
shrewmingledotcom · 3 months
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itsuki's phantom illusion looking a lot smaller and unfinished because of the experimentations of alter trigger on to him affecting the way he can produce phantom illusions
it's damaged but still nonetheless beautiful
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inkskinned · 1 year
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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s-aint-elmo · 3 months
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they could have been such haters together
(ID in alt text)
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wondercircuit · 2 months
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Lance on being asked who his favorite driver is
2014 Prema Racing -> 2021 Turkish GP Press Conference -> Joking around at the 2023 Aston Martin F1 Car Launch
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The thing abt john winchester is that he is too complex for the majority of the spn fandom and for a good portion of the writers on the show too.
Because at his core john is about love over everything else. When he looks up at his sons (yes, up, the fact that they’re both taller than him>>>>>), there is love seeping achingly from every single pore of his being even as he abuses them, as he destroys their souls beyond belief. He does it all entirely out of love. And he is so, so wrong for it. A part of him knows it. But he wants to keep dean alive, and he wants to keep Sam pure. And he loves them so much. And he damages them so horribly. John Winchester is the foundation upon which they are both built, they only become more of what he made them as the series goes on. Sam stops fighting it, Dean continues to mold into his image no matter how hard he tries to fight it.
Hell puts them both on steroids, but their individual trauma responses that influence this are the foundations that John built into them. No wonder azazel wanted sam to win so badly. John Winchester crafted his sons into alastair and Lucifer’s ideal victims, respectively, and dean was a better (worse) john than John ever was. John held out in hell. Dean acquiesced to his abuser despite all of his efforts to fight him, and he’s never been the same since.
Sam fought like hell, and he fought destiny, but at his core, he did what John always wanted him to by doing what dean wanted him to do, and then he stops fighting at all, loses the fire he showed john in adolescence that john immediately notices when he returns in s14.
And the sad thing is. They filled their roles so well that John is saddened by what they’ve become. He didn’t want dean to break. He didn’t want Sam to be dimmed. He’s sad to see what Sam is like in s14. In the process of recovering his wife, he ensured he would mold his sons into what he wanted them to be, and when he got what he wanted, he was devastated.
John Winchester is so driven by love and grief and he’s so filled to the brim with both that it’s painful to watch him on screen because he destroyed his family because of it. And he wanted this all along but he didn’t realize what he’d have to give up to get it.
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jaggedjot · 4 months
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There is a deep rooted bitterness underneath Claudia’s immediately infamous “two blood fat cocks slapping hands” line. After having spent more than a cumulative decade of her life searching for another vampire and being met with nothing but silence or pain, Claudia was welcomed by more than a dozen in one night, only to then be told by Louis that she should not see them again. It must reignite the resentment Claudia felt towards Louis’ open pessimism and misery while they travelled through Eastern Europe. The purposeful crudeness of the line, a sudden sour note after her teasing Louis’ fear “of your own lust”, suggests her frustration at being unable to fulfil her sexual desires. The disagreement the pair have in this scene about the significance of Lestat’s portrait reflects the larger rift in their relationship over Louis’ unwillingness to move past Lestat (“He's a hundred-and-something-year-old painting in a frame.” “They got a fսcking shrine to him!”). Claudia’s life was forcibly shaped time and time again to better serve Louis and Lestat’s love for each other; turned into a vampire so that they could repair their relationship, intimidated and hurt when she encouraged Louis to leave Lestat, made prisoner by Lestat ostensibly for Louis’ welfare, and now the memory of that relationship threatens her newfound kinship. It is galling enough that her long awaited introduction to a vampire community comes as an afterthought tacked onto Louis’ hand delivered invitation (“Come. And bring the petite beauty with you.”, “Monsieur de Pointe du Lac. Our finest seats.”), but the realisation that even that was determined by another man’s attraction to Louis has to be beyond infuriating. 
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ophernelia · 3 months
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Melissa Thalia Howell, Lou's mother.
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sehaniine · 3 months
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post calamity and zelda’s dragonification, healing both internal and external wounds together
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zhonnoe · 1 month
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What y’all know about Rei Izumi !!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️
I finished his route a lil while ago and AGHHHH I love him…. I did miss his long hair but whatever makes my baby happy uuu
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honehonn3honey · 7 months
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"But instead of pressing his palm against yours, his long fingers suddenly grasp yours, clasping tightly."
Art inspired by 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 by @andypantsx3. (Series of interconnected drabbles & oneshots)
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whatohitsonfirewelp · 5 months
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I want to say something after the episode.
Hen and Karen’s reaction was the perfect balance.
It’s hen whispering to her wife, we as the audience are allowed to see that moment but no one else does, and if they do it wasn’t meant for them.
And that is such an important detail. The two of them aren’t downgrading Buck, they aren’t making him feel small with the realization that Other People Knew Before He Did. It’s not taking away from his little moment or from the celebration of Maddie and Chimney.
It’s a small private moment between two queer woman about their friend who has realized something about himself that they already saw because they can see themselves in him.
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foursaints · 4 months
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re: last post. evan rosier being sacked from st. mungo's & then swiftly scooped up by tom to fill the death eater's need for a healer is something that can be so personal
evan had his own room at the back of riddle house. it was filled with antique surgical devices and "medical" textbooks with the most concerning titles & absolutely NOBODY ever wanted to get healed. i picture like, avery or whoever clumsily healing lucius's wounds until tom comes upon this like ? i've specifically enlisted a VERY SKILLED healer for this exact purpose. and the other death eaters are just like.... i don't know how to tactfully say that you couldn't PAY me to enter evan rosier's den of inferi autopsies & rusty bone-saws. he was FIRED from st. mungo's. his healing magic hurts WORSE than the original wound. he's WEIRD and it smells like DEATH in there
they go anyway because they're scared of tom. barty is the only one who just simply can't relate. that's his happy place
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monsterhugger · 5 months
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i think it's so fitting that the banana fish fandom is so enraged over and in denial about ash's death because it so perfectly mirrors eiji as the audience insert
the idea of 'he could have healed if he lived' when that's literally eiji's mindset. he could have flown ash to japan and kept him safe and made him all better. and when he can't it eats him alive
i think in another world ash would have been happy in japan. but i think it still would have eaten eiji alive how badly ash's past still haunts him
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arotechno · 2 years
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not "love is just chemicals in your brain" as in "love isn't real and doesn't matter," but "love is just chemicals in your brain" as in "love isn't any more special or pure than any other emotion"
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isthei · 5 months
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my fav dynamics in atla are. not ships?? the platonic interactions are so so compelling, just as if not more compelling than the ships. i love u fire siblings tragically destroying each other. i love u water siblings torn apart by gender and brought together by love. i love u ursa being a complicated person. i love u uncle iroh possibly projecting lu ten on zuko. i love u toph’s horrible relationship with her parents. i love u aang’s conflict with the past avatars
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frogs-in3-hills · 6 months
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i think about it do you think about it
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