#Elsa and Isabela save me

[gayciate]

Keep writing Disney crossover yuri in your free time so long as you please; it's more imperative than ever

ADSFGGHFASD??? Thank you so much for this!! I must continue to contribute to the Crossover Yuri Ecosystem, rejoice - wlw be upon ye!!!!

[saywha413]

Heyyy there it’s me!! Name’s Sarah, he/she/they! Bi, ace, demiromantic, genderqueer, and agendary :) pronouns page I primarily blog abt pokemon, but there’s some cookie run, and other things!!

selfship blog: @sarahs-malewives

If you know me from discord, then you’ll know abt my silly usernames lol. If you want to call me Arven/Hugh/Felix/Kaeya/Eugene/Rolf go ahead.

also I’m a big oc guy. if you don’t like oc/canon, self insert/canon, or selfshipping please dni. other than that, relatively basic dni! you know who you are

Asks are always open! Feel free to ask me about anything you want!!

(please skim through the “keep reading” before interacting!)

i am the mod several blogs! Ones in the same universe will be marked with the same colored text !

Pokemon Ask Blogs @ask-sarah-and-co (active! send an ask, if you’d like ^^)

Pokemon Irl Blogs @arven-x-drayster-4ever (temp. hiatus)

@icy-chill (eeby/faller, temp. hiatus)

@pens-and-coins (lore blog, temp. hiatus)

@silvallyandweavile (temp. hiatus)

@perrins-portfolio (temp. hiatus)

@g-max-wildfire (temp. hiatus)

@suckerpunch-n-toxic (temp. hiatus)

@glacial-waltzes (faller, active ish)

@diamond-lost-in-time (rp, active ish)

Stardew Valley RP Blog @ask-leah-sdv (active ish)

Although I’d prefer questions on those blogs specifically, feel free to ask about them here too :)

I have a whole bunch of pokemon ships, so here’s a list (which I update every once in a while)

and if you’re looking for the old pinned (where I drew 12 ships) that’s here :) (individual drawings here)

here’s my old banner! linking to save for myself mostly lol

art tag is #my art writing tag is #my writing

tags relating to my fics: #a flame in the snow #what’s a rapport between friends?

random links: ao3 / artfight / toyhouse

pinterest / pokefarm / flight rising / strawpage / listography / unvale (I am very inactive on pokefarm and flight rising. I only check occasionally)

Interests + favorite /r ships, favorite /p ships, & fave char (if they apply) !

Major! (I talk/think about them a lot)

Pokemon (games + anime (fixated on jn but never finished it, interested in hz but never started it)). Hugh x oc. Silver & Hugh & Gladion are so friends to me. Hugh

Cookie run (kingdom). Crunchyvelvet/Velvetchip. Red Velvet & my hc for his cousins, Black Raisin & Crowberry & Prune Juice. Red Velvet

Dungeon Meshi (I am insane abt this rn). Kabru x oc, Laishuro (also if you want to talk abt one sided labru im your guy). Kabru

Unicorn overlord. Alain x Rolf x Aubin x Aramis x Ithilion. Alain & Lex. Rolf I think

Hades game. (I have beaten it !) Thanzag. Zagreus & anyone (his silly ahh banter >>>). Zagreus

Minor! (I do post about them, just not as much!)

Octopath traveler 1. Olberus/Eisenbright, Olberic x Erhardt. My current party (H’aanit, Therion, Olberic, Cyrus) is so found family to me (two gay dads and their lesbian daughter/gay son. I LOVE THEM). H’aanit, Therion

Fire emblem three houses. Felileth/Bylix. Byleth & Jeralt & Alois & Leonie. Felix

Dislyte. Lufal. Falken

Monster hunter (stories 2). Alwin x oc. Alwin & Navirou & Protag. Alwin

Dragon quest xi. Luminerik, Henjasp. Erik

Animal crossing (new horizons). It feels weird to say I have ac ships but I’m a Bianca x Audie and Freya x Fang truther. Raymond

Afk journey. Valen x Merlin/oc ig. Valen

Cassette beasts. Eugene x oc. Eugene

Mythology (specifically Greek, but I like all of them!). Athena

Cats. generally.

Making silly little bios for things.

Background! (I like these things, just don’t rlly talk abt them! Feel free to ask abt them though!)

Zelda (botw/totk). Sidlink, Revalink. Link & Zelda. Link

Stardew valley. Leah x farmer, Sambastian. Leah & Abigail. Leah

Mario. Bowser

The owl house (and the shows you would kinda associate with it? amphibia, the ghost and molly mcgee, she-ra, etc). - Goldric/Huntric, Willumity. Luz & Hunter. Luz, Hunter - Sashanne, Sashannarcy. Calamity Trio.

Encanto. H.Hear me out. Isabela x Elsa (frozen) x Cassandra (tangled the series). Luisa

Miitopia

Riordanverse or whatever it’s called (specifically pjo, hoo, and magnus chase)

Grishaverse (specifically soc duology). Wesper, Darklina. The crows.

Sims 4

Omori (got into it from a yt playthrough, never played it myself). Heromari

I’m not really into these fandoms, but there’s probably like one ship I really like in there lol

Sonic the hedgehog. Sonuckles, Blazamy. Sonic & Tails & Knuckles. Knuckles

Kingdom hearts. Soriku. Sora & Riku & Kairi. Riku

Disney descendants. Jaylos. Core four

Star vs the forces of evil. Tomco, Janstarkie.

Ace attorney. Wrightworth/Narumitsu

Miraculous. I actually hate the show (even though I watched the whole thing (it was like so bad I couldn’t tear my eyes from it)) but alas. I do like Lukadrien, Zoegaminette, Feligaminette.

if we are besties (read: mutuals), feel free to ask for discord/switch friend code! I have the right to politely decline if I feel we’re not close enough though! (no need to worry though. there’s a good chance I accept)

divider credit: x / x theme other than icon credit: x icon credit: dungeon meshi screencap pokemon sprites: x userboxes: x

[triscribe]

Something I want to see but probably won’t get around to drawing myself - more artwork of Frozen’s Elsa teaming up with Encanto’s Isabela, yes, but also: Anna and Mirabel sharing their younger sister/often left out stories and bonding over being ready at the drop of a hat to go save their home without having a single clue how to do so. You cannot convince me they wouldn’t be friends.

(Also also, Luisa hefting Kristoff off the ground by his collar with one hand, while supporting Sven the reindeer above her head with the other. “Do we weigh anything to you??” “Eh, it’s like holding a couple of grapes.”)

@isabellamadrigal I know good and well you ought to approve

[shuinami]

At this point I think Disney barely knows how to represent female characters with goals and ambitions outside of love and with no male love interest, because time and time again with their single female characters they were still meant to have love interests before it got scrapped. Merida, Elsa, Mirabel, Isabela, and probably some others I’m forgetting.

Personally, I am and always have been a big fan of romance in stories when it's important to a character and not shoe-horned in just to propagate heteronormativity. I guess my personal viewing history of Disney movies skews my view a bit, but I feel that there a decent number of well-done main female characters without love interests, and a decent number with them.

In terms of princess movies, I think Moana was a solid go of it; she's a girl who stood against idolatry, who dared to set sail and there wasn't a drop of romance in her story at all. That being said, I'm not sure if she was supposed to have a love interest originally or not. There's also Raya but that movie was mid af.

I feel like beyond that set of movies, there are a few within the Disney-verse: Alice from 'Alice in Wonderland', Joy & Sadness from 'Inside Out', Vanellope from 'Wreck it Ralph', 22 from 'Soul' and, although a ridiculous amount of people like to ship her with the fox, Judy from 'Zootopia' doesn't have a story arc that revolves around love.

I think writing idyllic love stories comes first before other ideas to a lot of people for princesses because that's a fantasy escape for many. It fulfils that need to belong with fairy dust and riches rather than through trial, error and heartbreak like in real life for alloromantics. I think leaving romances on the cutting room floor for some characters is a fair play and having the initial idea for them to have a male love interest in the first mock-ups doesn't mean they don't know how. It's really not difficult and they have done it before, although, that's just my opinion on the matter.

When it comes to the Princesses, specifically, I don't think Disney have always done a good job with representing female characters WITH ambitions of love and a male love interest, even, here are a few:

Snow White, Aurora: comatose when they have their first kiss

Cinderella: hunted down after a few hours of partying at most.

Belle: having to turn a beast into a man with emotional labour, something that women are often encouraged to do in hetero relationships

Pocahontas: ... 😐🤨

Ariel: literally has no voice in her relationship and her prince is fine with that

Snow White, Aurora, Ariel, Beast: unappealing message of 'one true love/('s kiss) will save your life and is the magical end goal of a relationship that leads to marriage'

I feel like the actual dynamics of the relationships in most of these stories are glossed over or ignored, because the romances are shallow, just a cherry on top, or have some glaring issue within them. The draw of the Princess characters as icons for most people, I believe, lies elsewhere, perhaps everywhere, outside of their relationships.

For some others, however, I do think romance adds something to their character arcs.

Furthermore, when it comes to Asha, the upcoming afrolatina princess, I'm hoping that she has a love interest because the representation of black women as attractive within PG content, I feel, is not where it should be. Anything where a black feminine character gets romantically doted on as a main character is welcome to me.

I specify feminine because I don't think black girl characters as masculine or 'don't need no man/relationship' needs an influx of representation as of now, not when we're still slick excluded from mainstream ideas of beauty and femininity, which is what the majority seek to be included in.

But yeah, anyways, I have to disagree there. I think Disney's creative teams are more than capable of creating and have successfully created female characters that don't dream of love or have male love interests. They just need to put in the effort and strike a better balance.

[eolewyn1010]

Talking about Encanto - Mirabel

I've actually found a few people stating online the movie shouldn't have been about Mirabel because family member x is more interesting, and I'm really not on board with that. I mean, I also wish the rest of the family will be explored in further material, but on cost of Mirabel's story getting shoved aside? Seems like it kinda abandons the premise of the movie, doesn't it?

Not that I'm not biased here because I think Mirabel is an awesome protagonist. To my own surprise, I love her - even though she shares a lot of characteristics with Frozen's Anna. They both are quirky, energetic, cheerful, dancing half of the time (I need me a swooshy skirt like Mirabel's), unswervingly loyal, have issues with their sisters, try to repair family bonds that were damaged years ago and had them be left alone with a trauma at some point, all of that. But while I saw Anna always as a bit of a brat and found her a little annoying, Mirabel is my precious darling babygirl. And I can't quite put down why I feel differently about the two of them. Is it because Mirabel is fifteen and has an overall intact family (well, not emotionally healthy, but, y'know, she's not orphaned and isolated from her sole remaining family member) and thus I don't feel her cheerful, hype attitude is as misplaced and age-inappropriate as it is for eighteen-year-old Anna who has severe reasons to not be cheery at all? Or maybe because Mirabel is so relentlessly snarky even just via silent facial expressions? It might also be because Anna is sorta pushy with Elsa and lacks Mirabel's amazing ability to listen.

This family needs so much therapy, but really? The actual miracle is that Mirabel didn't lose her temper or mind at some point over the past ten years and asked her Abuela sometime earlier what is her fucking problem. Especially given that Mirabel absolutely has the temper for it, see her flipping-out contest with Isabela. Have I already talked about how much I love their arc? I have? Shame. Because this is so strong, character-wise. Consider the point from where they start out: While Mirabel is definitely not to blame for the conflict, her handling the situation is not exactly stellar. She's pressured to apologize when she wasn't the one who ruined the proposal, so she's sarcastic and angry about it and starts to insult her sister because... well, she doesn't actually want to embrace Isabela; she wants to save the magic, and getting her to a hug is just means to an end. So there are actually two tipping points here; first is Isabela's development, and the other is Mirabel's, overcoming her grudge to acknowledge her sister for who she is instead of who she has always perceived her as.

Which, honestly? Is tough work after what she's been through. The part where no one calls her to join in on the photo, not even Antonio who otherwise adores her, not even her parents who would usually never forget about her? That hurts so bad. I've read people say that Mirabel would be in the right to have the movie be her villain origin story - good thing then she isn't villain material. (Isabela would make an excellent Evil Queen tho.) What's making things heavier is that there's 1st, Abuela, who influences 2nd, the other Madrigals, who are 3rd, the center of the entire town, giving the basis for all of them disregarding her in some way. I still wanna kick the not-special special guy. And those impudent kids who are like, "if I were you, I'd be really sad", picking up on the mindset that Mirabel is somehow incomplete, even if she doesn't perceive herself that way and would be fine if she were included like the rest. I see where the disability / ableism metaphor gets its steam.

What's really unfair about this is that the townsfolk, just like Abuela, have different expectations of family Madrigal than they have of other people, than they have of themselves. They are non-magical, but they are allowed to be non-magical. Inside the family, this is a flaw that it isn't for the rest of the world. That's what you get for elevating people to godhood status - and what isolates Mirabel to some degree from the town's people as much as from the family.

I wonder if the situation had been better if the magic hadn't fucked up her ceremony so badly. I mean, I already got into the problematic aspect of making this a public spectacle for everyone to gawk at, but that was really something - making an already existing glowy door disappear on touch? What the fuck, Casita? Drama much? Even if Mirabel didn't get a gift, I feel there's an unnecessary cruelty in denying her a room of her own. I do like the nursery; it's definitely a room Mirabel has made her home and shaped, but it is consistently called the nursery, not Mirabel's room. She shares it with five-year-old Antonio, until he gets a room of his own while fifteen-year-old Mirabel stays where she is. That is demeaning, on some level. I wonder if she gets an own room when Casita is rebuild. Or are you telling me that she's forever condemned to babysitter duties for Dolores' babies, for any of the next generation her cousins and sisters might produce? What if Mirabel falls in love; would she be the only Madrigal to get kicked out of the house to live with her partner and maybe kids elsewhere? Eeehh. This was really poorly-thought out. And it doesn't quite fit the otherwise very close relationship Mirabel of all Madrigals has with Casita.

But something more about the room, it has the same hand-decorated, self-made feeling about it that Mirabel's clothing has. That is such a specialty of hers, that she makes things her own without being naturally, magically gifted for anything in particular. I love that about her sewing; it isn't a talent, it's a skill. Perhaps that's why they managed to re-build the house, because they have a family member among them who always had to do things the mundane way - and is shockingly capable of keeping up. She might not be as strong as Luisa or as much of a vines acrobat as Isabela, but have you seen her best both Bruno's room and his in-walls parkours on the first go? Playing with super-powered siblings and cousins all your life had to pay out somewhere along the line.

And her not being put into one specific role has paid out for them as well, with slotting Mirabel into the memetic role of the family therapist. That is, because she's not stuck with one very narrow task field, she has all that energy to invest in the happiness of the people around her, helping her mother in the kitchen, setting up decorations for the party, giving her little Antonio a pep talk, listening to Pepa and Félix telling their stories, digging until she gets to the ground of Luisa's and Isabela's issues. Getting Alma to talk to her sincerely, and moving past her behavior to forgive her. And Bruno, of course, the other family weirdo. It's pretty clear that even Mirabel finds his mannerisms weird, but the bad reputation Bruno and his visions have in town don't keep her from asking his help and offering him help, namely to bring him home, in return. Because she's been on the other side of this; she knows what it feels like to be othered. I love her bonding time with Bruno.

On that note, I'm not sure I get the family relationship switching fics out there that make Mirabel Bruno's daughter. I mean, whatever, but I don't see the point when all of the family members of the parental generation treat all of the kids as if they were their own anyway. Would it actually make a difference for Bruno if Mirabel were his kid instead of his niece? Would it make a difference in Julieta's and Pepa's behavior, in Félix' and Agustín's? I don't feel it would. They are just this big family bunch with Mirabel in their middle to glue it all together. Gosh, I love the finale with the door and the photo and everything. Who needs subtle when you can have it all in a big colorful rush and it's just so good?

[escapekissed]

i have made a new decision. i’m going to add the yoko taro muses to this blog bc i dont feel like making a new one!!! if ur still here, congratulations, i’ll be adding yoko taro muses and cutting down on other ones that people haven’t been showing an interest in!

HERE ARE THE MUSES I’M KEEPING:

-fe3h: dimitri, claude, edelgard, dorothea, leonie, catherine.

-ff: gladio, ignis, aerith, jecht, barret

-kh: vexen

-ace attorney: phoenix

-disney: tiana, elsa, gothel, eugene, rapunzel

-other: date, isabela, sten.

i’m taking off all the spop muses bc i’ve lost interest in that for now. SORRY IF U FOLLOWED FOR SPOP.

from yoko taro games i’m adding:

nier automata: 2b, 9s, A2.

nier gestalt / replicant: kaine

drakengard 3: zero, two, five

drakengard 1: caim, angelus, arioch, furiae

FOR A GRANT TOTAL OF 32 MUSES.... WE HAVE CUT DOWN PALS. i’m making a new carrd with everything. probably gonna change urls and aesthetics as well.

but for the most important information (if ur still following me i dont know who is and who isnt at this point)

there are trigger warnings for nasty shit in the yoko taro universe. but none of the characters i play, save arioch, will be engaging or talking about any nasty shit on this blog. [CANNIBALISM TW IN NEXT LINE] arioch’s character is so fundamentally interesting to me BECAUSE of her wanting to eat babies that i’m keeping that she wants to eat babies (tho obviously i will not roleplay that she wants to eat babies, i just think that it’s interesting for a character obsessed with motherhood to be so evil and monstrous, but for five and furiae who are canonically incestuous characters, i am reclaiming them in the name of hypersexual lesbians with intrusive thoughts.

[INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS TW AND INCEST TW FOR NEXT PARAGRAPH after this excessively long warning. could be triggering to people with intrusive thoughts. intrusive thoughts are not what people on tumblr think they are such as ‘eat a leaf’. they are thoughts that make you want to kill yourself because they are so disgusting and perverted to you. i aim to represent myself and other people with intrusive thoughts. but this could be triggering or upsetting to read. 

proceed with caution if u have intrusive thoughts, but if you don’t---realize that this is what intrusive thoughts really are, scary and terrible and disgusting, things that don’t align with the person you are or want to be. the only way i got over my own intrusive thoughts was recognizing that i was literally ‘obsessed’ with these thoughts bc i couldn’t stand any ‘ambivalence’ over whether such terrible things could actually be true about myself. learning to accept that such thoughts do not reflect on urself as someone who suffers thru them and that the thoughts do not matter or help you ‘become better by warning you of how evil you are and you must ask yourself if this is true every time you have them because of how evil they are and how much they scare you in a neverending cycle of self-harm’ is the only way to get through them. and honestly i do believe that it is worthwhile for people with intrusive thoughts to see that other people have the same thoughts as them and that they are just as scare and feel just as broken. but be warned anyway bc its some real ass scary and serious shit]

my furiae is not in love with her brother like she is in the game. furiae has ocd and is so afraid of her intrusive thoughts about her brother combined with her genuine (platonic and familial) love for him that she is fooled by herself into thinking that their relationship of him murdering countless people for her is something she can turn a blind eye to. he’s the normal one. he’s not the ‘dirty’ one like her, at least in her mind. he’s trying his best to save her, and she should be grateful, and she would do anything for him, anything to be normal and human and to find forgiveness and safety with him instead of feeling terrified and like vomitting and hurting herself every time they’re in the same room.

five on the other hand, i’m just cutting out the part about dito and zero and giving her the arc she deserves. she’s a lesbian that sleeps with men that can never satisfy her. she doesn’t understand this feeling inside herself---that wants more than can be given by a man, or at least something different. she blames it on being little less than a goddess, but she’s really just a pillow princess who needs a good dyke to wear her down taming of the shrew style but gay

[rhetoricalrogue]

Ok...I can't help myself! For the drabble prompts would you consider writing #4 " Who gave you that black eye?" for Gavin Hawke???? Pretty, super please????!!! Thanks!

Thank you for the ask! Oh man, this got WORDY. I’m on mobile right now, so I really hope that the Read More works, otherwise I apologize profusely for the incoming wall of text.

Vivian Hawke didn’t like the way this was going, so she decided in no uncertain terms that the Gaggle of Hawkes AU was going to be a thing. For reference, Gavin and Vivian are a set of twins, Elsa is the middle child, then Bethany and Carver.

Warning for character death. This takes place post-Deep Roads expedition.

The Blooming Rose was oddly quiet for the late hour, Vivian’s nose twitching at the heady mix of perfumes that wafted through the main entrance. She wasn’t one to habitually frequent the establishment, but she’d been through enough that she got several nods of acknowledgement from several of the workers.

“Hawke.”

She made her way to the bar. “Evening, Jerome. Or is it morning?”

“Too early or too late to tell. If you’re looking for company, I’m free.” He leaned across the wood and winked at her before pouring a shot glass full of some sort of amber liquid.

She shook her head. “Sorry, but this is a business call.”

“Ah. Then I think I know the man you’re looking for. Upstairs, third room on the right. Though I would like to inform you that he’s entered into a business agreement with Madam Lusine.”

Vivian sighed. “I figured he would have had to, seeing how long he’s been hiding here.” She paid for the drink and swallowed it in one go, wincing at the initial burn down her throat before it settled into a somewhat pleasant warmth in her belly. “Don’t worry, I’m just doing a welfare check. He’ll still be there when I’m through with him.”

She did have the decency to knock before entering: while Vivian may have known him her entire life, seeing her twin brother naked was not on her list of things she needed in her life.

She found Gavin sprawled out in the middle of the massive bed wearing only a pair of trousers. He gave her a lazy look before resuming his staring at the ceiling. “You look like shit.”

Vivian snorted at his greeting. “Same to you.” She sat at a nearby chair and played with the end of a robe that had been haphazardly slung across the back. “Before you ask, no, I’m not here to drag you out into the street and cause a scene in order to force you to come home. I merely wanted to see for myself that you hadn’t died of acute dehydration from too much debauchery.”

He let out a brief laugh. “As you can see, Dear Sister, I’m whole and hearty. Take that and report back to your mother.” After a beat where neither of them said anything, Gavin sighed. “She didn’t send you, did she?”

“No, she did not.” Vivian wished she would have thought to purchase the entire bottle Jerome offered. “She’s your mother too. She’s worried about you, Gavin.”

Gavin scowled and sat up so he was facing her. “She has a funny way of showing it. I clearly recall her saying she wished that you and Carver had buried me in the Deep Roads instead of the other way around.”

Getting up from the chair, she hoisted herself into bed. She could sense her brother closing off to her, so a change in topic was needed. “Who gave you the black eye?”

Gavin shrugged. “Pick a name, I can’t remember.” He flinched when cool fingers gingerly touched the purple ring at his cheekbone. “When did you decide to go back home?”

Vivian’s fingers stilled. “I haven’t.”

“Then how do you know that Mother’s worried...Elsa?”

“Elsa. She came by Fenris’ place and brought over a few changes of clothes, seeing as I had run out the door without anything.” She sat closer and bumped her shoulder against his. “Screamed bloody murder at me the entire time too, then promptly burst into tears.”

“Yeah, she did the same here. Don’t know if Isabela squealed about where I’ve been staying or what, but she found me.”

Vivian rolled her eyes. “You spent most of our first year hanging out here with whatever coin you could scrape up. You aren’t the hardest person to locate, Gav.”

“Funny, neither are you. I had a feeling you made a beeline to that old, decrepit mansion.”

She felt her cheeks start to burn. “Fenris mentioned that the place is too big for just two people. There’s a guest bedroom with your name on it, should your current arrangement wear thin.”

Gavin smirked. “What, and deprive the fine ladies and gentlemen of this establishment the pleasure of my company? Viv, how cruel!” He leaned forward and bumped her shoulder back. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to be a third wheel and get in the way of whatever’s brewing between you and our favorite brooding friend.”

Vivian gaped, her mouth working but no sound coming out. “That’s...I’m not...take that back!”

“With how much you look like a tomato? Not a chance.” He held out his hands and let out a genuine laugh when his sister grabbed a nearby pillow and smacked him upside the head with it.

“You know what? That’s fine,” she said, flopping back in bed. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh in I don’t know how long.”

Gavin fell backwards to lay beside her. “Well, there’s not much to laugh about when you’re the disappointing family fuckup.”

“Stop it. You’re not a disappointment.”

“I left when Dad died. If the Blight hadn’t have happened, I’d still be gone. I only came back because I needed to make sure you all were okay.”

“You came back because you wanted to protect your family.”

“I couldn’t protect Bethany, now could I?”

Vivian turned so she was facing him. “None of us could, Gavin. But I’ll tell you who you did protect back then. You saved me when darkspawn were too far away for me to get at with my daggers. You saved Elsa when she ran out of arrows. You saved Carver when he was too busy shielding Mother. He would have gotten run through, had you not been around to throw a fireball long distance.”

Gavin’s lip trembled. It wasn’t much, but for someone who made a habit of hiding his emotions, it was telling. “Fat load of good that did him. I got him killed, there’s no way to talk around it.”

“Then I got him killed too. You weren’t the only older sibling there that day. I could have demanded he stay behind too.”

“I tried,” Gavin’s voice cracked. “I tried to reconnect with him. I thought that if he went with us, if he got to bring back something, maybe he’d finally see that I wasn’t just waiting for an excuse to run again. I needed him to know that I was here to stay, not because we were stuck in Kirkwall, but because I wanted to make this work. For all of us.”

“He was always such a little shit,” Vivian said, ignoring the tear that slipped out unbidden and ran across her temple to soak into the hair by her ear. “Always wanting to prove that he was capable of providing for us. He hated me so much. I was always questioning where he was going, following after him, saving his ass when he got in too deep. He thought that I didn’t believe he could fend for himself when I enlisted in the army with him. The fact of the matter is that I hovered because I was terrified of losing him.”

“And now he’s gone.”

She sniffled. “Yeah. He is.”

Gavin rolled to his side so that the bruised eye was facing up. Reaching out, he held onto Vivian’s hand. “We’re a mess, aren’t we? More guilt spread out between the both of us than we know what to do with.” He eyed his hand, looking at the still healing cuts and scrapes. No matter how hard he had scrubbed, he could still see his brother’s blood under the nails, unnaturally dark and viscous from corruption.

“But at least we have each other,” Vivian replied, staring at their hands as well. The earth in the Deep Roads was hard packed and rocky. She’d broken most of her nails down to the quick helping to dig a shallow grave, both of them unwilling to leave their sibling by the wayside to fall prey to darkspawn. In the end, multiple days without food and rationing what little water they had meant that their strength had simply not been enough to bury Carver properly. Varric had been the one to suggest piling rubble on top as a makeshift cairn to protect his body from scavengers.

“That we do. And we have Elsa.”

“And Mother, even if things are tense right now.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Does that mean you’re going to go back home?”

Vivian freed her hand to wipe at her cheek before grabbing onto his hand again. “Eventually. What about you? Are you going to give all of your share of the money to the Rose so they let you rent out a room indefinitely?”

“I only gave enough coin to cover a week. After that, I figured I could crash out at the Hanged Man.” He squeezed her fingers. “I’ll come back eventually. I just need some time.”

“I know. Just remember that you don’t have to do things alone, okay? We’re a team, you and I. Us elder siblings need to stick together.” She didn’t bother hiding her yawn. “And if you wallow in your own funk for too long, I’ll just come and kick your ass.”

Gavin snorted. “Then I guess you’ll have to kick your own ass too, because hello, Pot. My name is Kettle.” He made a lazy hand gesture in the air and Vivian felt the familiar prickle of his magic extinguishing the candles, leaving them in darkness. “Come on, it’s too late for you to be walking around alone. Get some rest.”

She huffed, even as she kicked off her boots. “I can take care of myself just fine.”

“I know, but humor me. I am older than you by five minutes, you know. Go to sleep. You can run into bandits and murderers and kick their asses tomorrow night.”

“Your concern for their safety is overwhelming.” There was still a low glow from the embers in the fireplace nearby. It was enough for her to see his profile by. “I love you, Gavin. No joking allowed, you’re my best friend.”

“I love you too, Vivian. No joking back, you’re my best friend too.” If his voice was thicker and held more held-back tears she knew he would refuse to shed, she didn’t mention it.

“Get some rest, you. In the morning, we can go to Fenris’ place and make breakfast. I’ll even make that fancy omelet you like.”

“And serve it with a side of blushing pining over our host? Ow!” Gavin rubbed at his side where Vivian had pinched him. Sighing, he listened to her grumble as she settled in and eventually fell asleep.

He smiled. For the first time since coming out of that blighted hole in the ground, the guilt he carried around his shoulders didn’t feel as heavy.