#dad Remus Lupin

[stonnedparrott]

Remus the "Head of the PTA" dad and Sirius the "I couldn't care less" dad

[kquil]

MARAUDERS X GIRL DAD

NOTE. this series is going to be heavily requests-based and most imagines/scenarios will be below/around 1k words long, short and sweet~ but, to start, i'll write a quick imagine for each

JAMES POTTER

DADDY INTRO. professional ice hockey player with a wife and a baby girl (you) who he lovingly calls his princess

IMAGINES.

BABY

coming home from practice

TODDLER

CHILD

SIRIUS BLACK

DADDY INTRO. mechanics shop owner for motorbikes and cars and famous motor artist, not married with a professional nanny and a baby girl (you) who he lovingly calls his mon chou

IMAGINES.

BABY

...

TODDLER

CHILD

REMUS LUPIN

DADDY INTRO. started as an amateur writer but is now the CEO of a successful publishing company. is happily married to his university sweetheart with a baby girl (you) who he lovingly calls his honey

IMAGINES.

BABY

...

TODDLER

CHILD

A/N : this was lovingly requested to me a year ago and it took me a really really long time to figure out how i want to go about it. i'm going to keep to very short, fluffy imagines and i gave everyone some background to inspire a variety of scnearios/imagines that may be requested -- nevertheless, this is a girl dad au and reader is the adorable daughter of our favourite boys!

[cherry-pop-elf]

Big Bad Wolf

Dad! Remus x Reader

It’s the full moon, and Harry came running to you for advice and help. Lupin went missing, and Harry is scared that someone’s going to get hurt. Or worse. Expelled His dad will end up shot. So, as the romantic partner to the boys father you go and help him. You both just hope to find him before someone else does

Warnings 18+, Horror, Gore, violence, fear, Whump, character death ((deserved)) happy ending

Writing Commission’s Are Open

“Dad-?! Dad!” You were startled awake, by the sounds of Harry. You were spending a few days, at Hogwarts, with Lupin. As his romantic partner it was permitted, but it sure did startle students to see someone who wasn’t their teacher in the classroom. Such as you, having fallen asleep at his desk. You were waiting for Lupin, but it seems sleep caught you first. Until now.

“Have you seen dad-?” Harry asked, as he hurried towards you. A bottle in hand, with a worried look. You did not like where this was going. You really hope that was not a full bottle of wolfsbane. As if that was needed right now. You sat up quickly and straightened up.

"He said he needed to run and talk to someone really quick, and asked for me to stay here until he came back." Now that you said it out loud, it made you very suspicious. You had a bad feeling about this. A very very very bad feeling. It seemed the feeling was mutual, and no words were needed. The two of you were soon running out of the classroom, and straight outside. Wands out.

"Great, just great-" You huffed, as the two of you were now roaming around the grounds. A worry of what happened with Remus, and if the Dementors would come your way. You made sure to hold Harry's hand, and he did not refuse it. He had a uncomfortable run in with the Dementors after all, as if he wanted another.

"Should we ask Hagrid for help?" Harry asked, as you pondered. That could be very helpful. He was a monster keeper of sorts, and more people looking could reduce casualties. Fang could help as well, but Hagrid was not the best with secrets. Still.....You had a werewolf boyfriend on the loose, and one not on potions.

"I will go talk to Hagrid; you go to the Shrieking Shack. Maybe he went there by habit?" Seems like Hermione was really rubbing off on him, because that made perfect sense. You recall a few times you could hear him, when locked in his designated room, about a shack. Along with his night terrors, and school days.

The plan was set, and Harry explained to you how to get there. Most likely knowing, in case of emergencies. The two of you would split, and Harry hurried to Hagrid's Hut. You stayed, until he made it. Just to be sure. Once he had entered the home, you would hurry to the tree, it was terrifying, but you had to. For Remus.

You had to army crawl, and enter with a few scrapes, but you managed. You hit the knot in the tree, and was able to slip through the roots. Through the dirty cavern, and across the rocks. It was a journey, but you managed. You would push at the wooden boards, and soon had your head in the shack. The stench of blood heavy in your nose. He was here.

"Moony?" You whispered, as the world went still. Even the wind seemed afraid to speak. You were terrified, but someone had to be there for him. You swallowed your biile, and forced yourself into the house. Onto your knees, wand in hand, before properly standing.

Deep breaths, that made you gag, in a vain attempt to try and calm yourself. You knew this when he told you what he was. He didn’t want you to sign up blind. He didn’t want to feel like he trapped you. The moment he told you, you tried to study all you could. Meaning you carried your own vile of wolfsbane. Small, but hopefully enough to soothe.

As you tried to follow the stench, you couldn’t help but hear something. It was someone. Someone gagging, and coughing. Seeming to be….No. No no. You had hope the blood you smelled was that of a wild animal, but no. It was of someone.

You wanted to barge in, and see if you could save them, but that could cause issues. Like him turning on you. Instead, you kept your steps quiet. Just coming closer, as the figure kept gasping and wheezing. Begging. What made your blood run cold was what the person said.

“Remus, please….You would have done the same in my place. You would ha-“ Before there was silence. Silence, as bones were snapping. Crunching, and being devoured. They were dead, and you knew that you couldn’t do anything to have prevented it. You tried to reason, at least.

Finally, you were at the door. Given quite the sight to behold. This sickly looking beast, chowing away on a dead body. Beyond recognition, except for an arm. Said arm having been torn off, and slammed into the wall near the door frame. You narrowed your eyes, as you saw it was missing a finger. Clearly before the attack, as the numb was healed over.

Before you could wonder who the figure was, you suddenly felt something bite at your leg. Not in a means to attack. It was so gentle, you almost didn’t notice. A attempt to grab your attention. It succeeded, as you looked down to a black dog. Shaggy, skinny, and struggling to pull you away from the door. A means to get you away.

Seems it acted too late, as the nawing of flesh was silenced. Just the eerie sounds of blood falling on wood, as the werewolf looked over. Blacken eyes focused on you, as it growled. Clawed, and mangled, fingers were soon on the floor. Cautiously approaching you, only for the dog to block its path. Guarding you.

You didn’t know what to do. Do you run? Do you stay? Do you move slowly? You can only read so many books, before you face a real deal. Nothing prepares you for a real life experience. Was he staring at you because he recognized you? Was he no longer hungry? Was he aware of your scent, and wouldn’t harm you?

So many thoughts, only to be silenced by an ear rattling howl. That said that, and you were trying to run for your life. The shaggy dog quick to defend you, and jump at Remus. Buying you time, as you tried to think of where to go. Leave the building? Back into the hole? You didn’t know. Before you could make a choice, the rotten wood broke under you.

Crashing through you went, only for your leg to snap in the process. You screamed in pain, and that alerted Remus to you. You tried to fight through the pain, as you held your wand up. Trying to defend yourself, as Remus tore through more of the wood. Leaving splinters to rain down on you, as you laid in the broken old living room.

“REMUS-! PLEASE-!” You sobbed, as you didn’t want to hurt him. Blood pooled around you, as the torn muscle was shreds around your shattered bone. So much pain, panic, and despair. Was this the end? Dispite it all, all you could think of was how this would affect Remus. The guilt he would hold, when the moon rises again. Only to see you dead in his teeth.

Seemed that would only be a nightmare, as he was slow to approach you. Sniffing you, before looking down at your leg. Giving it a lick, and whine. As if trying to help you. If you weren’t so delirious from pain, you would find it sweet.

“Fuck, you look like shit.” A voice spoke to you, as Remus seemed to curl around you. Using himself a pillow, for you to rest on. Just feeling his ribs, and hearing his strong breathing and heart. It was soothing, and let you catch your breath. Long enough to register where the voice came from.

A man was soon standing infront of you, in a Azkaban uniform. With long, black, shaggy hair. With a beard to match, against his gaunt face. So skinny, yet so alive. Shaggy black hair, just like shaggy black fur. That’s when it hit you.

“Padfoot….” You choked out, when you weren’t crying from pain. The name made him smile, and you could see life in his hollow eyes. It warmed his heart so much, knowing Remus told you about him. That he was still spoken so positively. That Remus didn’t believe the verdict. He knew better.

“That’s me. Now be quiet, and take advantage of Mooney having a full belly.” He hushed you, as he would begin to try and help with your leg. He would take his torn shirt off, and forced you to bite into it. Trying to make you quiet, as he popped the bone into place. Making you scream into the fabric, as you held Remus tighter. Suppose in that feral brain of his could register his mate was hurting, and soon was nuzzling his face against yours. Using his nose to wipe your tears away.

“There. Worse of it is over. Now how about-“ Before he could finish, the sound of the basement door was opening. Before Sirius could do anything, you grabbed his pant leg. Trying to get him to stay. The pain, however, made you feel to weak. Your vision was blurring, as you curled up against Remus. It was all to much, and soon…..You blacked out.

Morning came, and it was unwanted. The sunlight on your face, and making you groan. “Five more minutes-“ Was your reply to the beast, before a chuckle was a reply. A chuckle you knew very well. A laugh that made you fight the sun, and open your eyes. Remus.

“Morning, pup.” He smiled, as he set his book aside. His scared up hand was quick to help brush the sleep from your eyes, as you took in the world. Such as how your leg was propped up, and that all the blinding white was from the medical wing. Another comforting sight was that Padfoot was in another medical bed. Being treated, and not sent to Azkaban.

“Lots of questions, I know. I’ll keep it short. I had made an attempt to go check on Sirius, last night, only for the two of us to stumble upon a familiar rat. We chased him for so long, we didn’t register the moon. Suppose it was a good thing we didn’t. A lot of good has now been done, with him disposed.” Despite what seemed like good news, there were tears in his eyes. Like he lost an old friend. Suppose you’ll ask about that later. Now, you needed rest.

“I can’t believe you came chasing after me.” He tsked, as he was already using a cold rag on your face. Helping you cool off. “Suppose Harry is to blame. I could have hurt you. I would never forgive myself if I had infected you to. I could have-“ He went on and on, before you held his hand. Forcing him to stop, as you smiled.

“Then you won’t be so lonely on those full moons, would you?” He wanted to be frustrated with you, but that would be rather hypocritical. So, he just gave a defeated sigh. With a smile. “I have a type, it seems….” Was added, as Harry was soon to enter the wing. Along with his friends. Hermione, and Ron. All needing answers about why an escaped convict was in the medical wing.

Remus would give a sigh, as you scooted over. As best as you could, so he could sit with you. The trio was soon on the neighboring bed, sitting together, while keep quiet for Sirius to sleep. A snuggle into Remus’s lap, and he took a deep breath. Knowing you were there to support him.

“It all started, when three little Gryffindors thought it was wise to become unregistered Animagi….”

[souptastical]

Chapter 6 of "Disc Rips" is up.

As a btw, this oneshot collection can work as a standalone despite being in a 552,000 word series (for the most part)✨️

[sweetiecutiedarling]

“You will stay right here young man!” Sirius yelled. The demand was so out of character that it almost shocked Remus out of his anger. Almost. Instead, Remus found himself agreeing with Sirius. Sirius moved to block Harry’s walk to the door but Regulus intentionally stopped him, taking the space. They all knew that Regulus wouldn’t stop Harry, but he effectively stopped Sirius. “We are going to talk about this!”

Harry’s mood quickly switched from bored, if bitter, to angry. He spun on his heel and stalked over to Sirius instead of leaving the home. “Don’t you fucking dare! You don’t get to pretend that you care about me!”

“Pretend- Harry you are our son! We love you! We want the best for you!” Sirius protested. “And you just threw your life away!”

“NO! You don’t want the best for me! You want me to be alive! That’s it!” Harry yelled, his eyes already pooling with angry tears. There it was, Lily’s vicious anger. “You don’t love me, you love your ‘son’! The idea of me! You don’t care if it means that I live every fucking day with a piece of that monster’s soul inside of me! You want every cut, every break, every fucking scar from my childhood to mean nothing.”

Remus was taken aback- of course, he didn’t care what it took if it meant they had to find a way for Harry to survive! They couldn’t just accept his death as a reasonable risk! What did Harry expect from them? Remus couldn’t argue with him, neither could Sirius, because Harry had more to say. Magic sparked from him angrily and picture frame glass shattered, but Remus couldn’t pay attention to anything but the words that Harry had to say. 

“If you didn’t want me to be a fucking sacrifice then you shouldn’t have raised me to be one! If you wanted me to look to you to protect me, then you should have protected me! You don’t like the risks that I took with my life? FUCK OFF! It’s not your decision to make anymore!”

It was heartbreaking to hear because, bubbling beneath the rage that only a teenager could possess, there was an unending well of sadness. A well that was rooted in what Remus knew to be the truth. Harry hadn’t wanted to risk his life, he’d felt that he hadn’t had any choice, and he’d felt that Remus and Sirius had left him to do it alone. 

“We did our best-” Sirius started to argue because he looked at Harry’s life and saw love and didn’t need to see anything else. He didn’t realize that was a part of the baseline, not an achievement because, for Sirius and his brother, love had never been given. Remus didn’t know how to help with that. 

For a moment, Remus thought Harry might hit Sirius. He whipped back over to his father and his voice dropped multiple octaves. He wasn’t yelling anymore and it was much, much worse. The accusation in Harry’s tone was final, “It wasn’t enough.”

Take Me to Voldemort by SweetieCutieDarling Chapter 58: I Want Him DEAD!

[waltzreprise]

[asthronauta]

could you do another remus x son kind of thing, i love the ones you’ve done so far!

Thank you! I'm not taking requests but of course I'll continue writing for him. I'm glad you liked them<3

[fairyofthefriz]

Anadlu, Anadlwch update!

Chapter Two

Day Three of the Bakers Dozen Fic Update Spree!

All of the Links

[jeananasartblog]

"If you could switch places with them, would you do it ?" "In a heartbeat" Redraw of this

[onceindece]

I thought I melted when Remus thought of Regulus as 'his cub' BUT THEN REGULUS CALLED REMUS DAD😭

First Day of Hogwarts

Wolfstar raising Regulus / Werewolf! Regulus

Microfic

-

Regulus’ first day at Hogwarts went well, much better than Remus thought. Despite being under his and Sirius’ care for a little over a year, the kid was still a nervous wreck with an uncontrollable temper, especially on the week of the Full. Remus wouldn’t lie and say he had no doubts about the young werewolf having a perfect first day. He still remembers his own first day, ten years ago, and how terrifying and anger inducing it was- and it wasn’t anywhere close to a Full! But despite all the odds, Regulus seemed to have a perfect day.

The sorting ceremony was what Remus feared the most. All the Marauders told Regulus a million times over that none of them would think of him any differently when he got sorted into his house. Sure, they were all Gryffindors, but they weren’t about to be like the poor kid’s parents and scare him into begging for the same house. They all wanted for him to be sorted fairly.

Plus they all had a few running bets on what house Regulus would he sorted into. Sirius and James- ever the fanboys of their own house- fully believed he would be a Gryffindor, while Remus and Lily thought he would be a Ravenclaw. Peter was the odd man out with Hufflepuff (‘I don’t actually believe it but imagine how mental everyone would go if I am correct’). And lastly with Slytherin was Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas- Marlene’s Slytherin girlfriend who Regulus was infatuated by.

To only Regulus’ surprise, the dusty old hat screamed ‘RAVENCLAW�� the second it touched the boy’s black curls. The young werewolf shot his gaze over to the older werewolf, looking a mix of shocked and terrified, but when he saw the jaw breaking smile his guardian wore, he instantly felt much better about his placement and rushed over to the Ravenclaw table. Once everyone was sorted, Regulus was crowded by three other Ravenclaw first-years; A boy named Barty, and a set of twins- Evan and Pandora Rosier. Even though Remus didn’t know anything about the kids, it was safe to say that Regulus found his ‘forever mates’ as Sirius would call them.

-

The rest of the evening went off without a hitch. Remus was now fully unpacked and settled into his professor suite, and was about to change into his pajamas before he heard a soft knock at the door. “Coming.” Remus called out, a bit confused on who could be knocking so late into the night, and on the first night no less.

To his surprise, the sight of neat black curly hair, and a much too big jumper on a small pale boy, welcomed Remus. “Cub, what are you doing here?” He stepped aside so Regulus could enter his room, and the small boy did exactly that, before turning around and throwing himself into Remus’ arms. The older man was quick to pick up the smaller boy, allowing him to get as close to him as possible. Remus closed the door and walked to his bed, sitting them both down.

“Cub, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” Remus gently rocked the boy back and forth, rubbing his back- trying to offer as much comfort to the kid as possible.

“This is all too much. I’m scared and I want Siri.” Regulus whimpered, not daring to take his face away from the crook of Remus’ neck. That was always his favorite place to hide when he was overwhelmed or upset and it wouldn’t change for a long while.

“We can floo call him. I’m sure he will love to talk to you.” Remus felt awful hearing how scared his cub was. Hogwarts was meant to be a fresh start for him. He no longer had to deal with big expectations from abusive family, hell he was already on his own path by being sorted into Ravenclaw. Remus thought he was in safe hands, especially after seeing how nice the other first-years were with him. But he should have known that his sensitive, traumatized, and dramatic cub would have had some sort of breakdown by the end of the first week, he just wasn’t expecting it to be the first day.

“Please? I really want Siri.”

-

An hour has passed, and Regulus was now fast asleep in Remus’ bed with the older werewolf gently brushing his curls with his fingers. The floo call was only about thirty minutes long. It consisted of Regulus talking about his new friends, Sirius promising the both of them that he is perfectly fine alone, and a new story about baby Harry and a frazzled James and Lily.

Once the call ended, all hell seemed to break loose, however. Regulus instantly started crying again, saying he didn’t want to go back to his dorm- that the boys scared him and he wanted to go back home for good.

“Cubby, is there something you’re not telling me?” Remus sighed, trying his hardest to get to the bottom of what was truly bothering his kid. It’s been fifteen minutes since the call ended, and Regulus was still quietly crying to himself, curled up in Remus’ lap.

“…Barty had this book. About magical creatures… and the cover had a werewolf on it. He talked about how scary werewolves were and how he wanted to meet one to see if they’re really as awful as everyone says they are.” The whispered words broke Remus’ heart. It was only the first night at Hogwarts, and Regulus was already facing discrimination for his ‘furry little problem’.

“Oh cub, I’m sure that was scary. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.” Remus was already thinking of ways to deal with that little shit. He could talk to Flitwick about moving Regulus to stay with the second years, or he could talk to Dumbledore about moving Regulus into his own suite for the time being. It was hard for the young werewolf to trust anyone, especially kids his own age, and maybe forcing him to share a room with rude, snotty nosed children wasn’t the best idea! He should be allowed to settle into school for a few weeks, and then slowly integrate sharing a room with those assholes into his routine.

“They seemed so nice, but… now I’m scared. I don’t want to go back in there.” Regulus’ small voice took Remus out of his own internal rants. “Trust me Cub, you won’t go back there until you’re ready.” Remus kissed the top of Regulus’ head, sealing his promise.

The kid fell asleep not long after their short conversation, and remus has spent that time watching his cub sleep peacefully in his bed, playing with his hair, and thinking of all the ways he can keep him safe. Remus was already a very protective (‘possessive’ if you ask Sirius) person, but when it comes to Moony’s cub? He was another form of protective. He really hoped that Barty gets better, because he didn’t feel up to getting thrown in Azkaban for nearly killing a child.

-

As if it was a pattern, right before he could fall asleep himself, there was another knock at the door. Remus couldn’t help the unconscious growl that came from his gut. Who in their right mind wants to bother him and his cub this late at night?

“Hello?” Remus grumbled, opening the door to see two small boys. The same two small boys he saw at the Ravenclaw table with Regulus earlier that evening- which means one of these assholes were the reason why his cub spent the last hour crying and terrified.

They better have a good ass reason for being here.

“Professor Lupin, I’m Evan, this is Barty. Is Regulus here? He ran out of the dorm room crying an hour or so ago and we’re really worried about him. We’ve been all over the castle looking for him and I really hope he’s here. If not… we might have some issues.” The kid- Evan, said while rocking back and forth on his feet. It was clear both boys looked terrified. Whether it was about the wellbeing of their roommate or it was fear of facing the wrath of Regulus’ guardian- Remus wasn’t sure.

“I’m really sorry to bother you sir, but we’re both very worried… and thought you should know as his dad.” The last part took Remus by surprise. His dad? Did Regulus really tell these two boys that he was Regulus’ dad?

Huh.

Remus did not mind that one bit.

“Yeah, he’s in here. Got really homesick and wanted some comfort. Thank you for checking on him, but I promise he’s safe with me. You two should head back to your own beds and go to sleep. You’ll see him tomorrow.” Remus assured the two boys before sending them off back to their dorms.

Maybe they weren’t all that bad, they did seem genuinely worried about Regulus.

But their worry wasn’t what had Remus’ spirits so high.

‘As his dad’

Regulus saw him as his dad.

[cannissmajor]

morning at the lupin cottage ☕️📰

(late remus birthday post)

[honeycaksy]

Childhood friends

Prongs,

I hope you and Lily are doing well. And thank you again for that Polaroid of the boys. They look absolutely adorable. Harry seems to be recovering well after that little injury from a few weeks ago.

Harry and Alphie’s first school year in Hogwarts is fast approaching. Is Harry excited? Alphie hasn’t stopped talking about it on the phone for days. You know, Sirius even told me Alphie has decorated his entire room with Gryffindor banners, despite Regulus advising him to wait until the Sorting Hat actually places him in a house.

That said, I stand by my opinion: giving them the Marauder’s Map for Hogwarts is an absolutely terrible idea. You know exactly what Alphie and Harry are like when they’re together… Just think back to what happened with your signed broom.

Take care, and give my regards to Lily.

– Moony

AU where Regulus’ karma is having a son who happens to be the carbon copy of Sirius: p.1 | p.2 | p.3 | p.4

[souptastical]

changed the cover of "Disc rips"

[remvs-black]

baby wolfstar but it is remus lupin not knowing that people don't usually give cheek kisses to a friend they made yesterday to say "thank you" but touch-starved sirius black being like, you know what? hell yeah

[ricochetyears]

everyone’s always talking about how james is such an amazing dad, and yeah, he’s awesome, but can we take a moment to talk about regulus as a parent? i mean, let’s just agree that he’s sooo attentive, and sooo loving, and he always lets their kid hang out with him in the kitchen while he’s cooking or cleaning, just listening to them go off about random stuff like, "daddy, mr. snuggles (aka the stuffed bunny) said he doesn’t like carrots. we had a fight." and regulus will give this exaggerated shocked look and be like, "no way? seriously? you’re telling me?" all wide-eyed and dramatic, and they’ll just go back and forth like that for hours, because their kid’s got the same endless chatter as james

[asthronauta]

WOUNDS THAT NEVER HEAL│Remus J. Lupin – Son! Male Reader.

Summary: Remus had within him a destructive beast that destroyed and destroyed itself. And on one of those nights he gives himself a wound that cannot be healed.

Warnings: Angst, the kind of Angst that will destroy you. Happy ending tho? There is some Fluff (father-son bond) but mostly Angst. Description of wounds (the wolf attacking itself). Sensitive topics. Remus is a great dad :( Enjoy?

Btw, english is not my first language so there may be some errors in my writing. I'm still learning!

Remus' body was covered in scars of all sizes. Some longer, some shorter. Some more painful, some less painful. But they were all there. Written on his skin, telling his story. Like a brand that would stay with him forever. The evidence of his pain, his past, his present and his future. The wounds he had inflicted on himself as a result of his own desperation, of his own pain, of that beast that lived inside him and escaped from his interior every full moon. Remus hated himself, he always had. And he didn't believe he ever stopped doing it. It was something he couldn't help. His condition, his curse, that burden that he carried with him everywhere. The burden that he forced everyone around him to carry. His family, his friends... His son. Remus felt like that, a burden. A nuisance.

That's how it was for many years. Eventually, he learned to live with it. Maybe it was all the nights that Sirius had comforted him or the responsibility of being a father that had made him put his own pain aside, but Remus felt happy. Happy because, despite his lycanthropy, he had a wonderful life. He had people who loved him. He had friends, he had family. He had lost many loved ones, yes, but he still had many more to carry on for. The most important person in his life; his son, would soon be graduating, and Remus' only wish was to see him grow up. That was the only thing he wanted. Remus was happy because for the first time in his life he looked around and didn't see pain, he saw love. He saw a future that he was eager for. Seeing his son grow up, graduate, fulfill his dreams, was enough for him to forget everything that had been tormenting him for so many years.

But life is cruel, isn't it?

Just a few days after his son turned seventeen, Remus had a particularly rough night. He didn't have Wolfsbane, he had spent that month's money buying his son a gift. It was a sacrifice he was willing to do for him, so he simply decided to find a place where he can spend the full moon. Just like old times. He had already been through that many times so he didn't thought this time would be different. What a mistake. Remus would never be able to get that night out of his head. It would repeat itself in his consciousness over and over again like a broken record because that day his life changed completely.

His wolf was enraged. Out of control like it hadn't been in many years. He dug his long nails deep into his own skin, Remus could feel the burning pain course through his body as his wounds spurted blood. It was horrible. Maddening. A pain that Remus had forgotten and didn't want to remember. But there it was, reminding him once again like a macabre joke. His wolf bit and tore his own skin, almost skinning himself. It seemed like the animal wanted to kill itself. Hitting against things, banging his own head against the wall until he almost lost consciousness, biting and scratching his own skin until the floor was painted with his own blood.

It was a blurry night. The only thing Remus remembered from that night was all the pain he had felt and waking up in the hospital the next day. Bedridden. Not being able to move, not being able to speak. Completely paralyzed.

•

•

•

•

Time passed since that night.

It was a cold morning. Christmas was near, the year was ending. Many people were celebrating with their families and friends, but Remus couldn't. Not in the condition he was in. His son dragged the wheelchair to the kitchen, settling it in front of the table where [Y/N] hurried to put the dishes. “Today I cooked your favorite, dad” the teenager said, speaking with a naturalness unbecoming of the situation. Remus watched him carefully, the boy was serving breakfast with a smile that Remus knew he was forcing onto his face. “I tried to do it like you used to. It was a little difficult because I had to do it from memory but hey, I don't think it's that bad” [Y/N] said, showing him a weak, gentle smile, sitting next to him.

[Y/N] still spoke to him, and Remus was deeply grateful for that. He understood that it wasn't easy to talk to a person when you know you won't receive an answer. [Y/N] was strong enough, thoughtful enough to still talk to his father. And Remus was grateful. He never in his life wanted to say ‘thank you’ as much as in that moment, but he couldn't. Even if he tried, only a few sounds would come out of his mouth. Nothing more. [Y/N] looked at his father, motionless in that wheelchair. He felt a horrible lump in his throat, and the deep need to cry. But he held back. He couldn't. Not there, not in front of his father. “...Here, let me help you,” he said, bringing the plate to him.

Helping him, that was what [Y/N] had been doing for him since the accident. That and so much more. Since that night, since that full moon, Remus had been confined to a wheelchair. His body was completely paralyzed. Weak movements with his face and hands were all he could do. He couldn't speak either, a few moans were the only thing he could let out with effort. Remus was imprisoned in his own body, a body that had become useless. [Y/N] had practically become the man of the house, Remus couldn't work anymore, he couldn't do anything for himself. And the responsibility had fallen on his son, who wasn't even an adult yet. “Wanna try?” [Y/N] said, holding the fork to Remus' mouth as if he were a baby. Remus swallowed, one of the few things he could do on his own. He felt useless. “It tastes good, doesn't it?” [Y/N] couldn't help but let a small proud smile leave his lips. He didn't usually cook, he had been forced to learn to do so after the accident, and every small achievement was a source of pride for him, and for Remus too. Remus was happy for him and at the same time he was so sorry. “I'm not that bad of a cook after all, huh?” he said with a boyish smile. He felt so proud of himself, Remus wanted to smile at him so badly. Tell him that of course he was a good cook, that he could be the best if he wanted to. But he couldn't. He was trapped behind his motionless body.

Remus never felt so miserable in his life. He felt so useless, so desolate. He was screaming in pain inside but he was silent outside. A silence that drove him crazy. It was a pain and desperation that he couldn't show and Remus had never in his life appreciated being able to speak as much as he did now. He couldn't stop thinking about all those times he didn't speak, all those times he kept things to himself. All those times he had something to say and didn't say it. All the things he had to say and couldn't. It was an overwhelming anxiety, wanting to scream and not having a voice.

But you don't appreciate what you have until you lose it, right?

“I've talked to mom.” [Y/N] continued talking while feeding his father. “She said she will send us money this month too. Luckily she's been.. ehm, nice.” Remus didn't get along with [Y/N]'s mother. It was a strained and uncomfortable relationship. The woman seemed to hate Remus and has stayed away from him since [Y/N] was born. She only spoke to her son's father because she had no other option, and Remus was sure that if she could make him disappear she would. But her heart seemed to have softened when she learned of Remus' new condition -which only made Remus more miserable-. She had been the one who had been helping them financially since the accident, because Remus could no longer provide for himself or his son. “Still, I've got a job for this vacation,” he smiled at him, “I want to help, you know? Even if it's just a little.” The teen said, giving Remus a small smile that reminded him of his own. Remus felt so guilty. His son was still a child, Remus still saw him as a child. A teenager who didn't know anything about the world yet. A boy Remus had yet to finish raising, whom he still had so many things to teach. He was just a boy. His boy. His son, who had been robbed of his teenage years. He, with his limitations, had taken away his teenage years. Even so, [Y/N] continued to help him in every way possible. Cooking for him, helping him bathe, change clothes, even getting a job to help financially. Remus was so proud of him and at the same time he felt like he owed him so, so much.

“It's in a bookstore, that bookstore where the old lady who always wears flowers on her head works, remember?” [Y/N] spoke normally, as if it were just another day in his life. One more of those days before everything happened. Remus remembered that lady. She was a kind, chubby lady, a lady who had practically seen [Y/N] and even Remus grow up. In Remus' first memories of that woman she was already old. And she already worked in that old, small bookstore. Remus remembered a little [Y/N] standing on his tiptoes on the counter every time he went to buy a book there, trying to see over it with his eyes barely catching the old woman's tender smile. Remus would give anything to live those days once again. “She told me that she heard about… you know, the accident. And she said that she wouldn't hesitate to give me a hand if I needed it.” Remus sighed, everyone had been doing that. Feeling sorry for him. Was that supposed to make him feel better? Because he only felt more miserable.

Remus rambled on about that lady for a moment. He had been doing that a lot lately. He couldn't do anything but think, so he had become something of a gossip lady. He couldn't remember the lady's name, but he could remember something very specific. He remembered that that lady's daughter had died, and that she was taking care of her grandson by herself. It was curious, that thing in particular seemed to have been erased from his memory until now. He was surprised to notice all the suffering that that lady had been hiding behind her smile for so many years and Remus not only didn't give it any importance, he also cared so little that he simply forgot about it. He couldn't help but wonder if that would happen to him too. If everyone would eventually forget about his suffering, about his accident. Remus couldn't help but think of his friends turning their backs on him, of his son turning his back on him.

At that point he was just rambling. But his mind had become a black cloud of negative thoughts that followed him everywhere. Maybe they were just stupid thoughts, but he couldn't help it. It's just that he felt so, so useless. He felt like a baby that needed to be taken care of, and he didn't believe that anyone would want to take care of him forever.

It seemed curious how everyone seemed to have so many experiences, so much pain within them. And how simply everything that makes a person cannot be seen behind a look, behind a smile. It was even cruel how everyone just continued with their happiness when so many others were suffering in silence, forgotten. Remus assumed that; everyone suffers in their own circumstances, but that we were always selfish enough to put our pain above that of others. No matter what. Because at the end of the day, we are all a little selfish. Even him, completely forgetting the suffering of the lady he saw almost every day on his way to work.

And no one cared about the pain of a man who couldn't even move.

“And then I remembered that I hadn't seen her grandson in a while, I asked her about it and she didn't hesitate to tell me” He couldn't help but let out a small giggle at that. [Y/N] remembered how much that woman liked to talk and vent about her life. “She told me that her grandson moved, that he was studying at a university. Then she started complaining that her prince” He rolled his eyes at the nickname, smiling. Remus would have smiled alongside him if he could. He had never before noticed how beautiful it was to smile at his son. “left and given up the cashier job. So I didn't hesitate and asked her when I could start working.” He said, with a boyish, victorious smile. Like a child proud of his little achievement.

His son was growing up alone in front of his eyes and he couldn't do anything to accompany him. It felt horrible to miss out on his son's life as time continued to pass and pass before his eyes. Remus looked at his boy, barely noticing the innocent features of his little boy on the face of the teenager about to become a man in front of him. [Y/N] was so much like him, in some way or another. Molly had mentioned it several times, his son looked like him. Sometimes it was small gestures, sometimes it was the way he explained things, or sometimes the angle where he looked at his face. But his boy had a lot of him in him. Sometimes Remus looked at [Y/N] and couldn't help but see himself. To see in his son's eyes the same eyes he had been looking in the mirror for years. Remus couldn't help but think that [Y/N] was an improved version of him. And he was so proud of his son.

“Mhm! I haven't told you” [Y/N] said, removing the fork from Remus suddenly, just when Remus was about to make an effort to swallow. [Y/N] raised the fork to his mouth casually, as if he didn't notice. And watched as his son swallowed the food that was meant for him and couldn't help but want to giggle. It was such an innocent, dumb action. [Y/N] hadn't even realized and for some reason it touched him. Remus really, really wished he could hug his boy right then. “I had a new DADA teacher this year” [Y/N] began to tell, Remus' interest quickly piqued. “I think he's my favorite so far.. he's not as good as you, of course, but I like him. His name is Edward.. I hope he lasts and doesn't leave after a year like all DADA teachers, I don't want Snape to be my teacher” [Y/N] said, making a small expression of disgust that Remus would laugh at if he could. He was happy to know that [Y/N] liked his new teacher. Remus regretted not being able to continue being his son's teacher, but at least now he knew that his replacement was good and that his son would continue to maintain a good education. Although he would love to be able to teach his son himself.

Remus looked up, meeting [Y/N]’s eyes again. But this time [Y/N] was silent. Remus knew his son well enough to know he was thinking about something. [Y/N] seemed hesitant this time, his lips pressed together, trying to decide if he should express what he was thinking. Finally, he decided to do it. “...They miss you... your students, they miss you.” Remus knew it, he had received many letters from his students after the accident. He loved teaching DADA. Teaching, communicating, connecting. He missed it so much. His classes, his students. And they missed him too. He was missed, and he didn't know if that made him feel better or worse. “...You were a wonderful teacher, dad.”

A bitter tear ran down his cheek. And then another, and another, and Remus couldn't stop it. He tried to swallow the heavy lump in his throat but the bitterness ran through his body and swallowing hurt. His eyes clouded over and Remus couldn't see his son's worried face anymore. Remus missed so much, so much, that he would give what little was left of him to relive a single day of his old life. “Dad…” [Y/N] murmured worriedly, terrified to see his father crying. He reached out and gently placed his hand on top of Remus'. Oh, his boy. His sweet boy. Remus owed his boy so much. His weak hand struggled to move, finding his son's and giving it a gentle squeeze, a squeeze that was the only thing he had left from those old hugs. He missed being able to hold his son. Remus remembered his baby, his little baby boy, so small and fragile in his arms. So innocent and so pure, sleeping in his father's arms with all the tenderness of a small being. Remus couldn't believe that that tiny baby was now this amazing young boy in front of him. Remus didn't know how he managed to raise someone so wonderful but he was so proud. Remus didn't deserved him, he just didn't.

“Dad don't.. don't cry” He stammered, feeling emotional himself. His father was the strongest person [Y/N] knew, and seeing him like this, so vulnerable, so fragile, so hurt, broke his heart. Things weren't easy for [Y/N] either, he had cried entire nights missing his father. It was all so scary, so sudden. He was just a young boy who now had to face everything by himself. And he still needed his dad, he needed him so much. His care, his guidance. Now he was the one who had taken over as caretaker, and although [Y/N] knew he would do anything for his father, he was terrified. And lost. “I…” [Y/N] bited his lip, trying to hold back his own tears. He didn't know what to say. Seeing the man who raised him break down like that in front of him scared him so much.

[Y/N] could feel the weak grip on his hand. His father's desperate attempt for contact, to feel him close again. He squeezed his hand back, feeling completely destroyed inside. Was this all that was left of his father? [Y/N] missed him so much. He would do anything to be able to hear his father's voice one more time. [Y/N] trembled, swallowing the lump in his throat. His father used to tell him how brave and strong he was when he was little, he wanted to have those words present at all times. Especially now that his father couldn't use his voice to remind him himself. He knew that's what his dad would want him to do. He wiped away the tears with his free hand and then leaned towards Remus, giving him a soft, gentle kiss on the cheek. “It’s okay dad… don't be sad.” He said with a trembling voice, not knowing what to say to take away his father's immense pain. He looked at him, his father's gentle face now static and haggard. He could see the deep sadness behind those empty long-suffering eyes. His father's warm chocolate eyes seemed to have darkened.

“I… I love you so much, dad” His voice had become small and weak, no matter how hard he tried to keep it steady. “And… you don't know.. how much it hurts me to see you like this” this time he just couldn't hold back his tears. “I just… I miss you so much… You don't know... You don't know how much I need you... I need my dad, I...” he trembled “I know you raised me to be brave but... Dad… I'm so scared” He looked at the ground, unable to look his father in the eyes as he finally broke down like a little child. “Please.. come back… I still need you…” He whispered weakly, sobbing as he looked at the ground. Trembling with no one to comfort him.

[Y/N] let himself cry, cry like he had been crying all those nights since the accident, cry like a scared little boy. He liked to imagine his father's long arms hugging him, hiding him in his chest, away from fear, away from everything. Just him and his father's warm love. He wanted to be comforted one more time, just one more time, like when he was a little. He needed it more than ever. He remembered his small form, tiny in front of Remus' large body. He remembered how he used to crawl under his father's sweaters and long coats in the winter, refusing to leave. He remembered his father's sweet chuckle, looking down at him with his warm eyes “So you're going to live in there, huh? Then I guess I'll have to pay you rent.” [Y/N] perfectly remembered his father's voice saying that and it hurt him so much.

It was at that moment when he felt a subtle, soft, almost phantom caress of his father's thumb on his hand. [Y/N] looked up, thinking that perhaps it had been his imagination, that his mind was cruelly playing with him. But there it was. His father's long, weak fingers were moving ghostly. Caressing him. Speaking without speaking. [Y/N] began to cry again, but no longer from sadness. He trembled as he felt his father's caress, because it was a caress that provided comfort, it was a caress that provided love, it was a caress that said 'I'm still here.’