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shadowetienne · 11 months ago

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Lyrical Analysis of OnlyOneOf's "dOpamine"

This is based off the official translation of the lyrics provided in the CC on the "dOpamine" MV. I did transcribe them so that I could look at them all at once, so any errors or mismatches in what I have quoted here are transcription errors (or something having changed in the CC since I transcribed it).

General ideas that I've taken away from the lyrics of "dOpamine" are that this is a story of first realizations of queer love/attraction, and that it deals with the obsession and fascination that can reside within that initial realization.

I think that there is also a question posed within thinking about this song: How can you have a fully happy and healthy love when the world/society seems to be entirely against it and the one possibility you are grasping at feels like the only possibility in the world?

[Note: this is long, I've gone through the lyrics in a lot of detail. I'm really just spinning off my thoughts on what story I think that this is telling. I would love to hear what other people think too!]

I know that we've all seen it at this point, but if you've stumbled across this and want to know what I'm talking about (or just want to watch it again, I get it) here's the MV:

youtube

Now that we're all on the same page and thinking about the lyrics, lets break this down!

FIRST VERSE

The song starts in an introspective place with:

Rummaging inside my head When I see you, my neurons wake up.

This introduces us to a place where the narrator is very much in their own head, but he has an immediate, instinctive/not thought out response to the object of the song.

This is followed by:

Like breathing, I want I want, I want, I want What you got

This particular set of lines is really interesting to me because breathing is a need, a very fundamental one, not a want or desire. It frames the entire song that this desire is being compared to breathing. It's sudden, necessary, instinctive. It also isn't normally something that you think about, breathing happens in the background, until you struggle with it and it's all you can think about. As a set up to the ideas of obsession, and potentially unhealthy love, further in the song, the feeling of this love as a need, of this ability to know the self and love in the way that comes naturally like breathing, is an understandable impetus to getting to that obsessive place.

A fantasy called love wakes me up Nobody knows, broken my heart. I used to be so bland But it completes me in a flash.

Calling love a "fantasy" makes a lot of sense in the context of queer love that is just being realized and that can't really societally be spoken. This is something that is heartbreaking to realize when it feels that no one can know you, can understand you, can let you just be you as a person with this sort of feelings of love.

But at the same time, it brings this idea that this love completes the narrator. Before knowing and understanding this about himself, he was "bland" and perhaps just going through the expected motions.

Let's get into it deeper, Even if it gradually ruins me.

This is where I start bringing in my question of "how can you have a fully happy/healthy relationship in these circumstances?" There is such an intense desire to have that connection, to get into a deeper, more fulfilling relationship, even if it ruins the narrator. There is no good option here. Will that relationship ruin the narrator from inside or outside the relationship? Who knows! But this relationship is on some level dangerous to the narrator. There's the danger from society: ruined career, ruined relationships with family and community. And there's the personal danger of an obsessive relationship, one that ends up hurting everyone involved. This is something that is a bigger danger in a relationship with the fearful rush of secrecy.

PRECHORUS 1

The prechorus has small changes each time, and this is my breaking up of the verses, but it feels like it goes here to me.

I can't control, I lose control.

I feel like one of the big things in the process of coming to terms with one's own queerness is losing the need to control and instead moving to accepting and understanding oneself. Feelings get away from you, and if you are trying to control them instead of work with yourself within them, they become this thing that can run away with you and your ability to make good decisions. I feel like that is sort of a part of what this song is about!

Adrenaline circulating in my blood vessels Blood that's gotten hotter.

I think that this framing is interesting because adrenaline can come with excitement, but it is also very much tied with fear, and there's an undercurrent of fear that sort of runs through the sound and the lyrics of this song. The fear of losing control, the fear of not knowing how this is going to go, the fear of wanting so so much that it consumes you. But that fear is also exciting!

Touching, just our reaction Feel it ecstatic emotion I want a stimulating moment. More intense, Endless thirst.

Ecstatic is a very strong word here, this is such an intense feeling, and how much better could it be? How much more could it be. There's definitely a feeling tied in here of finally having experienced something that really reaches the narrator, that makes him deeply feel this emotion, it's not just a physical response to this touch, it's hugely an emotional one. It brings us to "endless thirst" which again, like breathing earlier in the song, "thirst" is a need, not a want. It's also of course used idiomatically. The intensity of these feelings, of encountering this sort of love for the first time, is building into this all consuming need, instead of just a want.

CHORUS

This is what brings us to the titular idea of dopamine, and definitely the framing that this has fully gotten into unhealthy territory, though I'll circle back to that at the end.

You're my dopamine, dopamine Spreading and spreading, throughout my entire body Addicted (Addicted) Addicted to your love Addicted (Addicted) Addicted So beautiful.

This framing of love as an addiction, as something all consuming, and also the focus on dopamine (in itself neutral, but with the idea of chasing "dopamine highs" that you have to do more and more to achieve, which they've discussed some behind the scenes) brings us this idea of the love that is being experienced as overwhelming. It feels good, but it's taking the narrator away from everything else. It's too much for him. It's really interesting to end that chain of "Addicted" with "So beautiful," because it does sort of imply that it's not necessarily fully a bad thing either.

You're my dopamine, dopamine Cutting off and cutting off my rationality Addicted (Addicted) Addicted to your love Addicted (Addicted) Addicted Losing everything.

This half of the chorus does frame the potential problem, the reason this is an addiction, something that is concerning to the narrator: "cutting off my rationality" and "losing everything."

The feelings that the narrator is experiencing are overwhelming to the point that he can't think. He can't make good or clear decisions, he's just chasing the feeling that this sort of love is giving him. He's not sure if he's making good long term decisions because he is so overwhelmed. And that potentially has him making huge decisions that could change his life, that could have him lose a lot in his society, without actually giving it proper thought.

And that is scary! That brings us back to that adrenaline from earlier. And here, the message sort of feels like, the narrator needs to think! He might not even be making the wrong decision, but it's not being made in a way that will help him long term.

SECOND VERSE

This verse really digs into the way that the narrator feels (at least initially) in this relationship/encounter, this dynamic that is making him realize his queer feelings.

I can feel my heartbeat Like walking on a cloud Everything from the tip of my feet feels so light It feels like a dream.

This sort of feeling in a relationship feels incredible, it doesn't feel real! The narrator is almost relieved in how he is feeling light! But still, it doesn't feel real. In the moment of the connection, the relationship overshadows all those fears that we were just talking about.

Perfect visual stimuli I can't keep my two eyes away, I can't concentrate on anything else Feeling dizzy all day If I get to know you deeper I know I won't be able to get away.

Very quickly, we get back to those overwhelming feelings though! This dream is incredible, but it's also frightening, it's something that sucks the narrator in and he can't get out of. He can't step back from this realization, and it's making have hesitations. But even so, he can't back away from this realization.

PRECHORUS 2

This is mostly the same as the first prechorus, but there is an important change in the discussion of adrenaline that shows the progression of what is going on in the story of the song.

Can't stop the adrenaline Engraving it in my cells.

At this point, there's no stepping back. The narrator has learned about himself, about what he wants, about what it feels like. He can't back away, the knowledge is filling his understanding of himself. And he just wants it more and more, to the point of it feeling like a need.

CHORUS 2

We at this point can see a little more about what the narrator means by the love that he is feeling cutting off his rationality, but the bridge/third verse is what all of this is really leading into.

BRIDGE / THIRD VERSE

There is obviously a shift in the music here, also a shift in the tone. This is where we can really see that the relationship has run away with the narrator, what he's been saying about losing control, and losing rationality. This is where the utter overwhelming nature of it, and what is frightening the narrator becomes clear. This is really the pivotal point of the song.

I want you I stay up-up-up-up-up-up-up all night Getting thrilled Feel like Can't live without you, You're my only one, hana [one]

We can see how this is consuming the narrator. I think that the "Can't live without you" like is the one that really got to me. It's this idea that there is no other person who could make the narrator feel like this, and he feels like he needs to be able to feel like this now, now that he knows that it's an option. There's all this fear, all this need and want, and right now, it's all focused on this one person, this first person that the narrator has been able to feel like this with.

And that's a relatable, understandable queer feeling. Up to this point, the narrator has been repressing that sort of emotion and want, not daring to even really think about it, let alone experience it, and now he knows what it's like. But it was so hard to get here the first time! How could there be someone else that he could feel this way with?

What makes me laugh is only one Everything's interesting if it's you Especially, even more so, Just like this, more It's OK for my uncontrollable heart to ruin me

This set of lyrics is so overwhelmed, but it's interesting to me that the narrator is saying that "It's OK" that he's accepted the potential for ruin. I think that there's an element of in all this overwhelm, which is probably too much and not healthy in the long run, at least, finally, this feels right in a way that nothing like this has before.

PRECHORUS 3

We've lost the lines about control, and the lines in general have just changed a little bit, but we come back to our chorus lead in, if abbreviated. We have an interesting changed line:

Touching, new reaction Feel it intense emotion I want a stimulating emotion More intense So crazy oh.

It's interesting to me that at the end, we move to it being a new reaction. The narrator is realizing more and more about his feelings, and maybe starting to see a little further, but this is still something new and growing and evolving for him. It's what keeps him absorbed in all this. It's just "intense" here, not ecstatic anymore. There is no more adrenaline mentioned here, but that sort of build up of fear/adrenaline is remembered here.

CHORUS 3

With the final chorus, we are left on the line to finish the song:

I'm losing myself

I'd say that in a way to lead into the rest of the album, we're going to think about figuring out who the narrator is after this realization and intense, overwhelming set of feelings. The narrator has learned something about himself. He knows now that he has this attraction, that it's intense and feels incredible, but it also scares him, and it leaves him uncertain of who he even is now, of his relationship to his past self and society.

CONNECTIONS AND CONCLUSION

I think that this song is a really interesting counterpoint and echo of "libidO" because it's about instinct and unrestrained feeling, and how frightening and overwhelming they can be. When we look at this song in the body of OnlyOneOf's work and in the context of the rest of the album, and it's eventual conclusion in "gravity" we know that OnlyOneOf is leading to the message of "it's OK" and "you're allowed to feel the way you feel." Even so, these are some really understandable, big feelings for our "lovers who have not been blessed." It's good and scary at the same time!

I also think that this really ties into new relationship energy and the realization that you have to find a place of balance, to negotiate and stabilize the relationship after that initial burst of everything being new and exciting. It can't build forever, it's unsustainable and unhealthy. This song is very open ended, where will this go? It's all so new to the narrator!

I do think that it's also in conversation with many of OnlyOneOf's songs about guilt around attraction, and I like that this song isn't guilty textually, even if it is afraid! That's a feeling of progress in the overarching narrative voice of OnlyOneOf's albums.

#OnlyOneOf #dOpamine MV #dOpamine lyrics #lyrical analysis #hey look it's the first essay #yes I have a lot more to say #this is just the start #Youtube

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