#cynthia moose

[sing-geronimo]

In another world I think she would have been a good older sister figure

.

also damn hearing her theme for the first time made me stop what i was doing and crank this shit out so enjoy

[kirill-kaprizov]

i dont know if anyone that follows me right now has read any of my stuff but i just wanted to let y'all know that i finished revitalizing my eddie munson fic "rough" that i posted back in 2022. all 4 chapters have been updated and had little changes made to them. links are under the cut ₊˚⊹♡

wattpad ♡⋆˙ ao3 ♡⋆˙ ff.net ♡⋆˙

[eddies-munsonmoved]

dealer’s choice pt. 2 /no! i just think i’m two steps nearer to my grave

pairing: eddie munson/oc (cynthia moose) fandom: stranger things wc: 3.3k note: this took for-fuckin-ever, im so sorry. here they are! warnings: swearing, smoking, mentions of drugs and alcohol,

Hopper leaned down, taking his sunglasses off and asked, “where are you two coming from?"

Eddie got nervous, he wanted to say something but this wasn’t his situation and he didn’t want to get Moose in trouble for his weed run. But he was stunned even more by how she replied to the cop.

“Skull Rock.”

PREV: here

READ ON: ao3 ✰   wattpad  ✰   ff.net ✰   quotev

February 1985, Cherry Lane

3:17 pm. The dungeons and dragons curse, she liked to call it. Whenever someone brought D&D up to her in any capacity, no matter if her sister was around or not, she would be roped into babysitting a bunch of smelly pre-teens. (This time it was an offhand comment made by Jeff in her sixth period science class)

“Cyn, please?” Bethany pleaded for the third time this hour. “Mike’s dad doesn’t want us over there for another session, and we have the only area big enough.”

“You mean we have less supervision here. Since mom went back to work.”

Bethany shrugged as her sister sighed and turned the tv off, “please?”

“It’s my only day off this week.” Cynthia muttered to herself. “Fine. But you have to clean whatever mess you guys make down there.”

Not even thirty minutes later, Cynthia’s car was filled by three boys, two girls and they had just finished descending their madness upon Bradley’s Big Buy to get snacks and pizza for the weekend. They were loud and caused a ruckus in the store and she was just glad to get out of there with her dignity.

After piling the kids into the car, she almost turned the wrong way and they all let her know about it, “We gotta get Will!”

As they pulled up to the Byers’ place, she put the car in park and looked at the kids in silence, no one was getting out. “Are you guys serious? Go get him.”

“You have to talk to Joyce.” Mike informed the older teen.

She grumbled as she got out of the car, and walked up to the front door. She put on a small smile as she knocked twice.

“Cynthia, hi.” Joyce greeted, opening the door.

“Hey, I came to get Will, if that’s alright.” She gestured to the car where the five kids could be seen arguing animatedly, “Beth is hosting for their session this weekend, something about Mr. Wheeler wanting them to get out of the house?”

Before Joyce could even respond, Will went zipping between them and jumped into the car, clearly an overfilled backpack swinging onto his back.

“That’s fine, is your mom home?”

“No,” Cynthia drew out. “But I don’t have to work until four tomorrow and if they run extra long, I’m sure Tim could watch them.”

“Okay, I’ll have Jonathan drop by after he gets off work to see if Will needs anything, is that alright?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. They probably wanna get outta here, I’ll see you around.”

Five hours later and they were starting to drive her crazy, they’ve gone through half their snacks and had three pizzas already. She heard another set of screams from the basement and she got up and padded to the kitchen landline and flipped open the phonebook.

Finding the number, she typed it in and held the phone to her ear, listening to the ring for a minute before a man’s voice came over the speaker, “Hello?”

“Hey, is this Eddie?”

“Yeah?” The other line sounded skeptical, “who’s this?”

“Cynthia.”

It was quiet for a moment. “Oh, Moose. What’s going on?”

“Okay,” she chuckled, “not to be a sob story but I’m fuckin stranded at my house with a gaggle of middle schoolers and I really need a smoke. If it’s not too inconvenient, could you run me a bag?”

“Sure, what did you want?”

“I got… ten bucks. So, what? A quarter?” She answered.

“Alright,” He answered, she heard keys shuffling on his end, “Cherry Lane, right?”

“Yeah, thanks, dude.”

“See you in a bit.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Cynthia replied, hanging up the phone before going back to her bedroom.

Twenty minutes later, Cynthia was in the middle of her Blondie cassette when she saw a pair of headlights flash through her window, signaling that someone just pulled into the driveway. She rolled out of bed and grabbed one of her dad’s sweaters and went out to the living room.

Expecting Eddie to be outside, she was surprised when she opened the door to see Jonathan Byers. “Hey, I forgot you were dropping by.”

“I was late.” He muttered.

She widened the door for him to come in and she spotted Nancy coming up the walkway with a smile.

“Hi, Cynthia.”

“Hey, Nance,” Shutting the door behind the couple, she continued, “the kids are in the basement. The last door on the right in the hall will have the stairs.”

✰✰✰

Eddie pulled up to the Moose’s house, Jeff in his passenger seat. They both spotted an extra car parked in front of the house. “Weird,” he shrugged to his friend and bandmate before trying to get out of the van.

Jeff laughed in response before stopping and grabbing the older boy’s arm, “I think she’s coming out.”

Settling back down, he watched Cynthia walk between the parked cars and approach the window he just rolled down.

Leaning against the van, she laid her forearms over the opening, “hey guys, thanks for comin’ out.” She quickly held out a bill between her fingers.

“It’s no big deal. Jeff needed a ride home anyways.” Eddie shrugged once again, passing a baggy into her hand that was still resting in the van. “Actually, Moose, I heard some shit about you today.”

“Oh shit.” She laughed, keeping one hand on the van as she leaned away and put her weed away. Fumbling with something else in her pocket, she tried to change the subject, “do you want some candy?”

“Don’t try to change the subject.” Eddie smiled at her as she leaned back against the van, defeated.

“Fuck,” she groaned. “First, what did you hear?”

“Apparently Hopper chased you down for being… ‘drunk and disorderly’ out on Kerley last night.” He explained as Jeff laughed in the other seat, the younger boy knew the actual story, hearing it from Cynthia in their shared class.

The girl hung her head in shame.

“It’s all good, Moose. It’s happened to the best of us.” That made Jeff laugh even more.

“Sucks you believe that, Munson.” She finally responded, “I wasn’t drunk and disorderly, alright? I was walking home, extremely sober, from the Wheelers’ after Nancy’s mom snitched on me.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, it was past curfew so he had to pick me up. That and I’ve been out of the house since Sunday.”

“You’re not home a whole lot, are you?” Eddie asked, slightly concerned.

Cynthia deflected with a laugh and a shrug, “do you want some candy? Last offer.”

“I’ll have some.” Jeff spoke up, holding his hand out.

Reaching over Eddie and handing their friend a small candy bar, Cynthia turned her attention back to the metalhead, “What about you, Eddie? Want some candy?”

“Yeah, of course. Got any chocolate?”

“You’re shit outta luck, dude, I got a sucker or sweethearts.” She laughed, fiddling around in her pocket once again.

Defeated, Eddie set out his hand, “I’ll take the sucker.”

“A sucker for a sucker.” Cynthia laughed, handing him a red, heart-shaped sucker. “See you guys around.”

They watched as she walked back up to the house before turning the van back on. “What’d you get?” Eddie asked his friend when he heard him eating the candy he just received.

“Laffy Taffy.”

Nodding, he didn’t believe his friend. “Sure. Taffy? Jeff, you have braces.”

“I can indulge.” He lied, trying to stop the older boy from wrestling his hand open to find the wrapper.

Eddie was victorious, “a snickers? Jeffrey, I think Moose is playing favorites.”

June 1985 Forest Hills Trailer Park

2:43 pm. Eddie trudged out to his van in the late June heat. He was currently thankful for his KISS shirt that he cropped so the edge of it sat right above the waistline of his jean shorts. After he got in, keeping the door open, he took some time to dig through his cassettes. Ultimately deciding on Blizzard of Ozz before sticking a cigarette between his lips and starting his van to limp to the more experienced mechanics.

Speeding up the road, he spotted a familiar station wagon turn onto the road. Slowing down to let the car pass on the narrow street, he was met with Moose. Wallace had told him the day before that she was asking about him. Eddie’s friend seemed exasperated about the topic.

Setting the cigarette down, he cranked his window open as the driver of the opposite car slowed down by him, “What’s up, Moose?” He leaned out of his van, disregarding the heat.

She seemed unprepared as she shuffled to mirror the older boy, “I heard from Wally that you were back in town and I was out today so I wanted to drop by to see if you had any?”

The boy laughed and ran a hand through his messy bangs, “yeah, I have to go see my guy and get some. Could you give me a ride?”

“Um, I— yeah, that’s cool.”

“You sure?” he asked, she nodded, “meet me at Bell’s Auto on Pine? I have to bring this beast in.”  He patted the door for good measure.

“Sure thing.”

✰✰✰

Eddie slowly pulled into Bell’s right in front of the garage doors and was surprised to see Moose already there, moving bags from the front seat and setting them into the back. When did she pass him up?

He got out and watched as she pushed a cooler onto the back seat, “How’d you get here so fast?”

She jumped in surprise, somehow not noticing Eddie behind her, with a laugh she replied, “you took an odd turn, I just went up Main.”

“My way’s faster.” He defended his ‘odd’ turn. He felt a bloom in his chest as she laughed at what he said. It was then he noticed that their outfits were nearly similar.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Munson.”

The drive was nearly silent, only the wind and the occasional puff of a cigarette occupied the car.

Cynthia pulled her hand in from the outside and glanced at the boy next to her, “there’s a box under your seat, it has some of my tunes in it. Find something you like.”

“You gonna have anything my speed?” He half-joked. He grew hopeful when he looked over at her, a smile on her face and AC/DC on her tee.

“Don’t start, Eddie.”

It took him a couple minutes of picking up a case and looking to see what it was before he found one that was clearly made at home and the cover just said Summer ‘82 (KISS, Crüe, Blondie, Whitney). Popping it into the radio, he waited, listening, until the beginning notes of Sure Know Something started.

“Where did you find that?”

He thought he did something wrong for a second before she turned up the music and started bobbing her head. “It was at the bottom of the box.”

“Good pick.” She complimented, taking a puff of the cigarette between her fingers.

Another 20 minutes down the road, Eddie instructed her to pull over to a small, shaded path, “wait here, I’ll walk the rest of the way and be back in a bit.”

“Okay,” she sighed, relenting. Cynthia wanted to just drive him up but he told her that his guy didn’t like people knowing where he lived. “See you in a bit.”

For the fifteen minutes that Eddie was gone, Cynthia mindlessly flipped through one of her sister’s old wrestling newsletters in between killing the odd mosquito that made its way into the warm car.

The current summer air reminded her of the days that her dad would take her and Beth to swim out at Jordan Lake in east Hawkins. She could feel the sadness building in her chest as she reminisced about days that were long gone; melting down onto the leather bench, she tried to breathe, pushing away tears that were about to spill out.

When she finally calmed herself down, she opened her eyes. They were blurry and when she looked up and out of the passenger window by her feet, she saw a blurry figure. She flinched hard, “son of a bitch.” She gasped as she wiped her eyes and saw Eddie, smiling with concern in his eyes.

Reaching forward, she pulled the lock up and let Eddie in, “scared the hell outta me, man.”

“I could tell.” He snickered, “takin’ a nap, Moose? Am I that boring?”

She laughed as she scooched back into the driver seat, “You’re thrilling, bud. I was resting my eyes.”

“Okay.” He relented, settling into the seat, he put a bag onto the floor by his feet as he watched the girl next to him lay her head on the steering wheel. “You alright?”

When she didn’t respond, Eddie hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder, “hey.”

She peered over at him from behind the hair that curtained her in like a shield, “I’m alright.”

Eddie pulled his hand away as she leaned back against the seat as she gathered her hair into her hands.

Giving a small smile, Cynthia actually looked over at him. “I’m good. Long day.” Tying her long, dark hair into a bun before she started the car, “let’s get outta here, yeah?”

On the way back, Eddie had pointed her to a left turn and continued in the winding woods, he insisted continuing around the lake would be quicker to get back into town.

“So what happened to your van?”

Eddie picked at his rings, “I just got back from Saginaw, fucked up my tires pretty bad on the way back. Also just general wear and tear.”

“You do drive like a mad-man.” Cynthia laughed.

“I’d call it efficient.”

“Whatever you say, Munson,” she playfully rolled her eyes. “What were you doing in Michigan, if you don’t mind me asking?”

He pulled his eyes from the road and watched as they sped through the trees, he rubbed at his slightly tanned arms nervously before he eventually answered, “I went to visit my mom.”

“Oh,” Cynthia readjusted her grip on the wheel and took a glimpse at the boy in her passenger seat, “how’d that go?”

“Alright.” Eddie shrugged, shrinking into himself. “Yeah, I had to break the news to her that I got held back. Again.”

“Shit, man. I’m sorry.” It was silent in the van for what seemed like forever, only the radio playing between them. She didn’t really know how to respond. “At least now you get to finish it out with Jeff and Wallace.” Maybe not the right thing to say but it could be comforting.

He gave a small laugh, “Yeah, stupid might cancel out somehow.”

She peeked at the boy to her right and gave him a nudge on the shoulder. “Trust me, it does. How do you think we got Tim outta there?”

“Oh, yeah. Henderson.”

“Yeah,” Cynthia was caught off guard by his response. “What happened with you guys? He says you were his first friend when he moved to town.”

“I guess. Then he went full dark side on us.”

Cynthia felt bad laughing, knowing it would egg Eddie on in his incoming rant. “Dark side? Wow.”

“Yeah! We were cool at first when school started then he just dropped us.” He started waving his hands as he talked. “Then he started sports and hanging around guys like Bull and Tommy B. We tried to be cool but—“

“How long has that truck been behind us?” She interrupted, looking in the rearview mirror.

“I don’t know, but it does look like a—” He tried to turn around to look properly before Cynthia laid a hand on his arm, making him sit forward.

“Oh fuck, it’s fucking Hopper. Oh shit.”

“Are you sure?” He leaned over, looking in the mirror on his side of the car while shuffling his bag further under the seat.

“Yes, I’m sure. The fuck is he doing out here?”

“He’s a cop, Moose, isn’t it kinda his job to be out here?”

Running a hand through her hair, she kept her speed moderate. “I guess. Shouldn’t he be dealing with shitbirds over at the mall?” She didn’t have another moment to chill out before the blue and red light started flashing on the truck behind them. “I can handle this, just sit there and look pretty,” she tried to crack a quick joke.

Eddie nodded with a quick laugh as they pulled into the dirt and waited for the cops to walk up the car.

“What’s goin’ on, rat-stache?” Cynthia nodded at Callahan as he appeared at her passenger window.

“Really?” We pulled you over and you’re gonna under—” The younger cop was cut off.

“Cynthia Moose.” Hopper greeted, setting his hat on the top of her car. “And,” he leaned down, getting a better glimpse at the guest in her car, “Eddie Munson, didn’t know you were back in town.”

“Yeah, just last night.”

Hopper scanned the odd pair and waited for a smart remark from the Moose girl akin to the one Callahan received. When she didn’t speak up, he said, “Your mom called the station today. Wanna tell me why?”

“I don’t know, man.” Cynthia was genuinely taken aback. “She knows I have the car, I have work tonight.”

“I need something better than that, last time we got a call like this, we found you out by the Pinelli’s up in Merrick Park after six days.” He was losing his patience with the girl.

“Dude, I—“ She was getting frustrated, there was really no reason for this. “I don’t know. I brought Beth to her softball game at noon and that’s it.”

“That’s it?” Hopper leaned down, taking his sunglasses off and asked, “where are you two coming from?”

“Can we keep this between us? She’s not gonna be happy with me,” Cynthia rambled on, “I just got my shit together, my mom can’t know about this. Please, Hopper?”

Jim Hopper sighed and, with a stern nod, told Callahan to go back to the truck.

Eddie got nervous, he wanted to say something but this wasn’t really his situation and he didn’t want to get Moose in trouble for his weed run. But he was stunned even more by how she replied to the cop.

“Skull Rock.”

The cop was taken aback, repeating, “Skull Rock?” to the teens in the car incredulously.

“Yeah, man,” Cynthia replied, becoming more confident in her lie, “why do you think we got a cooler and blankets back there? We had a picnic and.. Hung out.”

“Okay.” Hopper nodded; not really believing the pair but knowing Cynthia’s past boyfriend, he took it into consideration as he peeked behind them into the back of the wagon. “This true, Munson?”

Eddie looked beyond Moose’s dark, pleading eyes and straight at the Chief, “Yes.”

He didn’t want to deal with this, but he found that it was better to deal with Elaine Moose’s calls regarding her oldest sooner rather than later. Sighing, wiping sweat from his brow, “Get back to town, go see your mother. I won’t mention this.”

Cynthia let out a deep breath, “holy shit, thank you.”

“Yeah,” Hopper grabbed his hat and stepped away from the car, “get outta here.”

Eddie also let out a breath as he heard the engine turn over and they started rolling.

“Holy shit, holy shit.” The girl basically chanted as they picked up speed, heading back to town.

“Hey, Moose?” It was his turn to interrupt as he leaned his head back against the car. “If it’s alright, I’m never riding with you anywhere ever again.”

Letting out a quick laugh before she pushed a cassette into the radio, she replied, “Understandable.”

[eddies-munson]

do you think you’re better everyday? / dealer’s choice pt. 1

pairing: eddie munson/oc (cynthia moose) fandom: stranger things wc: 2.8k note: this is me missing them and providing context/backstory to their relationship (i just love them)

"There's always Eddie Munson, Tommy buys from him." Steve shrugged, taking a glance at the clock.

A confused look washed over the girl's face, "Eddie? Like, the D&D guy? He sells drugs?"

or 5 times Eddie and Cynthia got to know each other in the gloomy town of Hawkins

READ ON: ao3 ✰   wattpad  ✰   ff.net ✰   quotev

February 1984, Hawkins High School

Cynthia pushed in the doors of Hawkins High with more of a kick in her step than she’d had in the last three months, but the almost elated feeling she had left her as she got nearer to her group of friends. Friends she had almost neglected since her dad went missing back in November. They tried to stay around in the midst of the girl's grief but they could only do so much, they were just kids.

The conversation almost seemed to die as she gathered herself into the circle, “Hey guys.”

“Hi, Cynthia.” Nancy greeted, a kind smile as she was the only one to say hi.

Carol was the next one to greet her, pulling her into a tight hug, arms hanging over the taller girls' shoulders as she squeezed her, “Good to see you, Cyn.”

Cynthia gave a tired smile, Carol’s sweet perfume overloaded her senses, “you too, Care.”

The redhead pulled back, and took Cynthia’s chin in her well manicured hand, “we gotta get some make-up on you. You’re looking gloomy.”

“I got second period free.” She responded, forcing a laugh.

Carol let go with a pat to the cheek, “holding you to that.”

Nodding, she changed the subject, not liking everyone’s eyes on her, waiting for her to say something sad or start crying. “Steve, can I talk to you real quick?”

Steve looked shocked, running a hand through his hair, “sure.”

She nodded to the vacated classroom next to them. Ms. O’Donnell didn’t have a class first period and left her door unlocked.

“How’ve you been? Tim said you got picked up by Hopper.” Steve asked as he flicked on the lights and leaned back against the wall, mirroring Cynthia as she leaned against the empty chalkboard.

“Doing better,” she laughed, “I took off from home for a couple days and my mom didn’t like that. It’s whatever.”

He nodded, not really knowing how to respond to that. “So what’s going on?”

“Do you know where I could get some weed?”

“I buy from Pinelli, I could put a word in for you.”

"Steve, look me in the eyes and tell me one good reason that I wouldn't want to buy from Bull Pinelli." Cynthia rolled her eyes at the mention of her ex and Steve remembered as soon as she spoke.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I forgot you guys used to--"

"Yeah. Wish I could." She laughed dryly.

"There's always Eddie Munson, Tommy buys from him." Steve shrugged, taking a glance at the clock.

A confused look washed over the girl's face, "Eddie? Like, the D&D guy? He sells drugs?"

"I guess. Talk to Tommy."

“Okay,” Cynthia sighed, opening the door, “thanks anyways, Steve.”

The taller boy pushed past her, giving her a nod and comforting pat on the shoulder as he walked out, bell ringing as he did so.

✰ ✰ ✰

Carol’s hand was once again on Cynthia’s chin as she held her still while spreading eye shadow across her lid.

“Yo, Tommy, if I gave you some money could you do me a solid?” Cynthia asked, glancing over at the boy who wasn’t interested at all in what the pair of girls were doing but wanted to skip class.

“Depends, what do you want?” He reached forward into the pile of Juicy Fruit next to his girlfriend.

Carol sat back with a hum, finishing up with the pink shadow as Cynthia shrugged, “you get bags from Eddie Munson, don’t you?”

“The freak?” Tommy popped the gum into his mouth and rolled the wrapper up before throwing it at his girlfriend. “Yeah, you know I don’t fuck with Pinelli.”

“Yeah. Could you get me one? I’ve been smoking with Tim but he’s quitting because of wrestling or whatever. I have twenty bucks.”

✰ ✰ ✰

Tommy Hagan started regretting telling Cynthia yes as he pulled into the Palace Arcade parking lot, spotting Eddie’s shitty van. “Fuck it.” He sighed, turning his car off and walking inside the building, sneering at the younger kids that ran past him as he looked around for the drug dealer.

He finally spotted him with his nerd friends at the furthest corner, huddled around a couple of pinball machines, “Hey, Munson.” He called out, approaching the group of four.

Eddie turned his attention to the boy calling his name, “Hagan. You’re too slow, I closed up shop ‘bout an hour ago.” He already knew what the freckled boy wanted, it was the only reason he associated with him. It was kind of fun to watch him squirm in a ‘nerd’ environment.

“C’mon man, it’s Friday.”

Nodding his head towards the back exit of the building, Eddie grabbed his tin box from the floor and followed the jock outside.

“How much? The usual?”

Tommy slid his hands into his jacket pocket, fiddling with the extra twenty in his hand, “Two.”

Eddie paused, giving a confused look to the boy next to him, “Who you buyin’ for?”

“A friend of mine.” Tommy straightened up, hoping that puffing his chest a little bit would make him not question him more.

“Which friend?” He closed his box back up as a threat.

He debated with himself on whether or not to tell Eddie that he was buying for Cynthia. Tommy didn’t know how his drug dealer was with girls and if he had any weirdo vibes, he didn’t want to send it Cynthia’s way.

“Moose.” He replied with a shrug, hoping to leave it at that.

“Alright. Forty bucks.” Eddie backed down, messing with the black box once again.

March 1984, Hawkins High School

This went on for almost two months. Every other week Cynthia would waltz up to Tommy, and hand him twenty bucks with a smile and he would come back to school the next day and slip a baggie into her backpack at the end of their shared class, seventh period Algebra. Until Eddie told him this last time that he wanted to meet Moose with an almost uncharacteristic seriousness to him.

Tommy slid onto the seat next to his girlfriend and slid the bill into Cynthia’s open hand as she was gesturing while in conversation with Carol. “Bad news,” he greeted.

“What?” Cynthia replied, slipping the money into her flannel's chest pocket, displeasure washing over her face.

“Munson wants to meet you, said he’s ‘over the middle-man shit.’”

“Can’t blame him.” Carol chimed in, slapping Tommy’s hand away from her lunch tray. “He probably thinks you’re up-charging some poor freshman.”

“Fuck.” She groaned, rubbing a hand over her face, “What did you tell him?”

“I said yes, obviously.”

"Shit, alright.

✰ ✰ ✰

Three hours later, right after the last bell rang, Cynthia made her way past the old soccer field, a trail to an old picnic clearing that hadn’t been used by students regularly since before she got to the high school.

“You two really gonna wait for me or ditch as soon as I get in those woods?” She turned to Carol and Tommy sitting on the old bleachers.

“We’re waiting, scout’s honor.” Tommy waved her off.

Rolling her eyes, “‘Cause that means so much coming from you.”

“I can leave.” He wouldn't actually leave, he doesn't trust Munson.

“Please don’t,” she surrendered. “I’m sorry.”

Before she could turn around and finally go to the clearing, Carol spoke up, “Cyn? Try not to charm the pants off this one. You’re oh and one.”

“What the fuck, dude?”

“Just saying.” She shrugged, pushing a piece of gum into her mouth.

✰ ✰ ✰

Eddie came out not too long after, box in hand as he parted ways with his bandmates. Spotting Tommy Hagan with his girlfriend, he got nervous, what if this was some kind of set-up. Keeping a brave face, he nodded at the pair and continued his walk to the clearing.

He spotted a girl with long, dark brown almost black hair sitting on the table with her back to him and he started to feel even more suspicious.

Hearing footsteps on the leaves behind her, Cynthia turned around and spotted Eddie Munson, “Hey, what’s up?”

Eddie walked closer, slowly, before asking “You Moose?”

She replied with a laugh, “That’s what Tommy’s callin’ me? Damn. Yeah.”

He lightened up and sat down on the same side of the table as her feet were. He felt kind of dumb now, he completely expected Moose to be some big ass jock, not her.

“So, why?” He asked, folding his hands on the table, but not meeting her gaze.

“Why what?” She asked jokingly as she scooched down onto the seat next to him. She shrugged, “I don’t know, it was easier. I haven’t exactly been in the right headspace to deal with new people and it’s easy enough to have Tommy do things.”

Eddie hummed, accepting the answer. He could feel her start getting anxious as he kept quiet. Now that he knew Moose wasn’t some nickname for a dude on the football or wrestling team, he started piecing together how he knew her name. “Is your dad Lionel Moose? The cop?”

Cynthia drew lines in the dirt as she kicked her leg back and forth, “Yeah, he retired a year, year and a half ago.” Her mouth went dry as she started waiting for the inevitable next question.

“Oh.” Eddie nodded, tapping the black box on his side, “and how is he doing?”

“Um,” Cynthia swallowed, trying to keep her composure in front of the drug dealer, “he, uh–.” She wiped a hand over her face, trying to keep hair out of her eyes, “he’s presumably retired. From, from life.”

“Shit.” He mumbled to himself, instantly regretting the small talk, “I’m sorry, I didn’t–”

Sniffling out a response, “you’re good. It’s fine. I’m mostly normal about it now.”

“No, man. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” Eddie responded, pulling his box onto the table and opening it. “How about this: I cut you a deal this time. Fifteen bucks for your half.”

Cynthia chuckled, “Is it that easy to get a discount? I just gotta put on the waterworks for ya?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, meeting her gaze with a smirk, “Just this once, Moose.”

“Sure.” She responded, digging in her pocket and handing him her twenty.

August 1984, Bradley’s Big Buy

Cynthia didn’t want to admit to herself that she was avoiding Eddie Munson, she also refused to admit that she may have had a crush on the guy.

Not like it was embarrassing to have a crush, he was cute and nice to her which she felt that’s just how he was. But she definitely thought it would’ve gone away when she left Hawkins for just over a month to go to camp. It didn’t. Now she was avoiding the guy.

She told her friends that she wanted to finish out the summer sober (a minute lie). Ready to get back on the cheer team, the coach was going to let her back on despite being held back as long as she didn’t get into more trouble.

But here she was, working at the grocery store, stocking shelves, actively avoiding Eddie Munson since he was at the store with a couple of his friends. It looked like they were gearing up for a party, but Cameron, a close friend and co-worker, informed her it was likely they were getting ready for a D&D campaign.

“Holy shit. Moose, is that you?” Fuck. There he was.

Cam snickered and told her to go talk to him and Cynthia obliged with a quick huff.

“Hey, man, what’s goin on?” She approached him with a friendly smile.

“Not much,” He laid his hands in the pockets of his jean shorts. “Are you ignoring me?”

“I was out of town.” She informed, mirroring his current mannerisms. “Took my sister to camp.”

“Okay, because a little birdie told me you were avoiding me.”

Cynthia shook her head, feeling heat coming up her neck, “That birdie wouldn’t happen to be standing right behind me?”

Eddie laughed, eyes darting to Cameron, pretending to stock shelves as she kept a close eye on the pair. “The birdie is actually at the front, he’s ringing up Jeff.”

She took the opportunity to change the subject, “I thought you and Tim hated each other.”

“Yeah?” He shrugged, it was mildly true. “I know he’s one of your buddies, so I asked.”

“About me?” Cynthia turned the smug mood around on him, “did you miss me, Munson?”

The taller boy didn’t have a response for that, he just shook his head with a smile, “I gotta go, see you around.”

October 1984, Mevald’s General Store

Cynthia looked up from her position at the register and saw Eddie outside, he gave her a wave and she nodded back and pointed to the back door, hoping he’d get the hint and meet her in the alley. As soon as he gave a thumbs up, she called out, “Hey, Joyce? I’m gonna take my break real quick.”

“Okay, go ahead.” Joyce responded from the store room, where she disappeared with Bob Newby just five minutes ago..

She exited the building into the alleyway and leaned against the bricks, waiting for Eddie as she patted her pockets down, looking for her cigarettes.

Eddie walked up to her quietly, “Hey, Moose.”

“Hi. You got a light?” There was a stick hanging between her lips and she couldn’t find her lighter, probably left it in her car.

“Yeah.” He reached into his jacket and pulled out a plain white BIC, before lighting her cigarette

“Those new?” She was taken aback, changing the subject, hoping he wouldn’t notice the blush on her cheeks.

“What?” He lit his own cigarette, putting the lighter back in his pocket.

“The bats.” She gestured to his right arm.

“Oh. Yeah, got ‘em done about a week ago.”

“Sick.”

“You got any?”

She shook her head, taking a drag, “Want one, don’t know what.”

Eddie got a playfully evil grin on his face, “I could give you one.”

Cynthia laughed, smoke coming out of her nose. “I think you’re cool as fuck, Munson. But there’s no way in hell I’m letting you near me with a tattoo gun.”

He gave her what could’ve been puppy dogs eyes, “I can do stink-n-poke.”

“That’s so much worse.”

Laughing, it was his turn to change the subject, “So what’d you want?”

“An ounce.” Moose muttered, tapping the ashes off the cigarette between her fingers.

“Damn, Cheech, big occasion?”

She laughed at the reference, “Um, kinda, I’m heading to a party tonight and Cam tasked me with bringing the weed, so.”

“Who’s party?”

“Tina’s.” She replied.

Eddie mostly zoned out as Cynthia continued talking, trying to remember who Tina was. When he looked back down at the shorter girl, she was looking at him expectantly. “What?”

She laughed, before taking another drag and asked, “Do you want to come get sheet-faced tonight? More the merrier.”

He almost obliged as he looked at her, her eyes almost sparkling as she asked the question. “I don’t think so, Moose. Not my crowd.”

 “Okay.” She almost seemed disappointed? “Well, I get out of here at five, so could you meet me at my place on Cherry Lane later?”

✰ ✰ ✰

7:28pm. Eddie rolled up to Cynthia’s house, a big brown house with a blue wagon out front. Walking up to the front door, he kept his black tin box in his left hand as knocked with his right.

“Come in.” A woman’s voice called out from behind the door.

He entered the home and saw a bowl of Halloween candy sitting on the ledge next to the door, he started looking through, wanting to take one.

“Oh, it’s you.” Cynthia peeked around the corner, a smile on her face, it looked like she was dressed up for the holiday. “Gimme a sec.”

Finally picking out a couple of candies, Three Musketeers and a Snickers, he watched as she came back into the main room, “nice dress.”

She was wearing a lacy button up shirt and a long, almost bubblegum pink skirt, “thanks,” she responded with a smile before holding out a bill for him.

“I didn’t bring any change.” Eddie said as he watched her walk into the living room to turn off the television, checking out the fifty dollar bill between his fingers.

“Keep the change,” she waved him off while approaching him at the entranceway of the house. “I know it’s a hell of a drive from Forest Hills, especially with all the Trick-or-Treaters.”

“Shit, alright. Thanks.” He reached into the box and pulled out a larger baggie and handed it to the girl, “It’s two different kinds, I have to make a run soon.”

“Cool.” She slid the bag into her purse that matched the skirt almost exactly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

PART TWO

[autisticassassinbird]

Anyone is free to use any of these ideas in a fanfic. Feel free to suggest things in the reblogs or replies.

Daemon forms in an Alan Wake daemon AU:

Alan Wake - northern hawk owl

Alice Wake - eastern coyote

Barry Wheeler - american ermine

Saga Anderson - elk

Alex Casey - eastern milk snake or corn snake

Ilmo Koskela - moose

Jaako Koskela - boreal caribou

Tim Breaker - northern alligator lizard

Sarah Breaker - striped whipsnake

Robert Nightingale - horned lark or chestnut backed chickadee

Cynthia Weaver - yellow pine chipmunk

Odin Anderson - common raven

Tor Anderson - gray wolf

Rose Marigold - rattlesnake or rubber boa

Ahti - leach's storm petrel or ancient murrlet

Thomas Zane - eurasian eagle owl

Barbara Jagger - wolverine

Mulligan - pronghorn

Thornton - ord's kangaroo rat

[goldeneyedgirl]

Hear me out!!!! Daddy Jasper coming home to his baby after a hunting trip!!!!

Goddamnit, not only did this give me brain rot, it also fuelled the beginnings of a plotline for this version of Baby-verse.

It’s the same ritual every week or so. It’s the thing that breaks into their little domestic bubble. The thing that stops everything from being normal.

Hunting. 

He knows that he’s not human; Alice is in the loosest possible sense. That’s never going to change. But it’s so… healing to be able to simply live that simple little life. They’re both in college, Ollie’s in pre-k, and it’s the kind of organised chaos that Jasper never thought that he’d appreciate. 

Having to go hunting breaks that facade, and he resents it. He resents watching Ollie pressing his face against the window, watching him go; Bella and Edward bring Ness with them, and Ollie doesn’t understand why he can’t go too - though Ness looks older than him now, so it’s easier to convince him that he has to stay with his mama. 

Alice is good about distracting him, but Ollie is whip-smart and fast, and the sight of him scowling against the front window is one that he hates. He does’t want Ollie to ever feel left behind or left out or in any way lesser. 

It happens again tonight, Ollie in his pyjamas as he vanishes into the darkness; there had been tears tonight, that Ollie didn’t want Jasper to leave. Alice was there with kisses and his blanket, and he knew that Ollie would be fine, but it broke his heart that Ollie had to watch him walk away. 

Alice tells him that it’s good he spends time with his family, that it’s normal for him to have time with them. The same way she encourages him to see Peter and Charlotte, to take time to be himself. Alice always seems to have an easier time with that balance; she sees Cynthia regularly, goes to dinner - with and without him and Ollie - with her parents, and makes it seem easy to be ‘Alice’ as well as a mom, a sister, a daughter, and a ‘wife’ (in all the ways that mattered).

So he tries to savour it - roughhousing with Emmett (something he refuses to do with Ollie present, lest he get hurt trying to join in), bickering with Edward, listening to Rose - who mostly wants to talk about Ollie, her current fixation being on his education. Alice wants to go back to Washington for Ollie to start kindergarten, whilst Rose (and Esme) are both campaigning heavily for some private school in New Hampshire, and he’s having keep the peace. 

This part of the country has more than enough choice for a hunt, and its a good choice too - black bear and moose and lynx. He likes the fight in the moose, even if the bear taste better; Esme always worries when he or Emmett take on something as large and aggressive as a moose. As if it can do any true harm. 

Afterwards, he watches Edward and Bella praise Renesmee for her hunt, for the mutilated   foxes she brings back. Her teeth just aren’t as sharp as theirs yet - Carlisle predicts her adult teeth, less than a year away, will do a better job. But for now, her kills are messy and uncomfortable to look at. 

There’s something about watching Ness at the hunts, at Edward with his whole family at his side, that makes him feel torn. 

But mostly, he watches Edward teach Ness to hunt and is impossibly relieved that he’ll never have to teach Oliver the cleanest way to rip out the throat of an animal. A hundred times over, he’d rather learn how to make sandwiches and toast and cereal, and cough up hunks of birthday cake than have his boy join them. He knows that Edward resents those thoughts, but Jasper would be a piss-poor father if he didn’t want the very best for his son. And that is, absolutely, for Ollie to be human. For Alice to hold tight to the humanity she has. 

And that’s why this was his favourite part - the run home. 

He’d shower and change at the main house; Alice was cautious of any kind of bacteria being spread to Ollie, and to him there was something so dark and grim about handling his son after ripping the throat out of an animal. No, he refused to go home before he showered and cleaned up. 

The house would be dark and warm; the toys forgotten on the floor, perhaps a blanket thrown over the back of the couch. 

Ollie’s bedroom is the first at the top of the stairs, and he already knows what he’s going to find. The little bed is empty, the blankets kicked back and his plush animals scattered. 

The bedroom he shares with Alice is the next one, and that’s where he finds them - Alice is curled up in her usual position, her hair in her eyes and one arm reaching out to his place in the bed. 

Ollie is curled up in the middle, with his blanket and his plush dog, pressed tight against his mother’s front, and still sucking his thumb (they’re trying so hard to break that habit before he starts Kindergarten but it’s so hard when he looks so damn cute). It’s one of those moments that Jasper is certain that he’ll remember forever, long after Ollie has grown up and gone off on his own. It’s the kind of trusting innocence that he’ll be coming back to them. (There’s still so much guilt over the Joham debacle, having to leave them both, and then coming back for Alice. They both agree that it was the right choice - then and now - but it doesn’t make it any less hard knowing that Ollie was without his mother and father, and was too young to truly understand why.) 

He assumes Ollie is asleep until his eyes flutter and then he’s sitting up and reaching out for Jasper.

“It’s late.” He sounds grumpy and just like Alice’s father David when he says that as Jasper scoops him up. 

“Are you sleeping with Mama tonight?” He asks, carrying him out of the bedroom so that they don’t disturb Alice. There’s a reason he got the family to start hunting on Friday and Saturday nights; getting Ollie to sleep during one is near impossible.

“Need to keep Mama safe,” Ollie said determinedly, rubbing his eyes, and Jasper has to resist wincing. He doesn’t want to pass his own fears down to his son - especially a totally human child. Esme was right - children heard everything. 

Ollie’s looking out the window as they walk down the stairs and into the kitchen. “It’s dark,” he informs Jasper, and he doesn’t miss that Ollie’s grip tightens on him - they’ve got solar lights dotted through the gardens to diffuse the darkness, but at the side of the house there’s nothing but gardens and forest. The fear of the dark is new - since he and Alice can home - and almost certainly the thing that Ollie was guarding Alice against.

“It’s very late.” He opens the fridge and Alice knows - Ollie’s tumbler is there with milk already in it; entirely so that Ollie can’t convince Jasper that he wants chocolate milk or apple juice so late at night. 

He puts his son down for just a second, just long enough to find a straw for his drink, and Ollie’s anxiety at the darkness outside the tall windows of the kitchen spikes - Jasper’s hand on his head reassures him.

It’s a regular post-hunt night on the couch with his son lying against him, transfixed by the cartoon on TV, and his milk cup in one hand. It’ll take the best part of an hour, for Ollie to finish his milk and fall asleep. He knows these days are numbered - that it won’t always be as easy as a cartoon and a cup of milk to fix Ollie’s problems, so he appreciates this; the smell of lemon-orange baby shampoo, Ollie’s curls tickling his face, the little giggles that Ollie lets out at the cartoon… 

“There you are.”

Alice appears sleepily, looking adorable and inviting with his old Forks High hoodie over her tank top and sleep shorts. It’s a cliche, but he swears he falls a little bit more in love with her every single time he sees her. 

(Sometimes he thinks about asking her if she’d consider having another child. Give Ollie a sibling. But then he wonders if he really wants a second child, or if he just wants a chance to do it all right, from the very beginning. As if he can undo the mess he made of everything by doing it correctly this time. And that’s not how it works. He would love any child, but he truly does not want more than he has right now.) 

“How was the hunt?” She leans over the side of the couch to offer him a kiss. 

“Productive.” They aren’t the same, honestly. He doesn’t bother to explain it, but there’s always a pull in the other direction, away from the hunt and towards his family. It steals some of the satisfaction away from feeding, but mostly he loves that he has something his instincts have deemed more important than blood. 

(Alice is getting too good at noticing when his resistance is stretched to its limit; when he’s swallowing down the burn in his throat, when his temper is short. He hates that knowing, gentle look she gets when she redirects Ollie, and kisses his cheek and says his name in that way that he feels guilty and… well, it’s just how they live. It’s why they have the family hunts, now. A regular schedule that he has to stick to.)

“Ollie says he had to keep you safe.” His words are playful, but Alice nods in silent acknowledgement of the fact that Ollie is becoming old enough to retain everything he sees and hears, even the things they want to protect him from. 

“Mmm, Ollie was trying to protect me from the dark. Lots of scary things out there,” she says. “I think Dad was right, and a nightlight is our next step. And get Esme to add some solar lights to the side of the house.”

“Tomorrow.” Ollie’s fear of the dark had started after they had come home from the Joham incident, and Alice had had more than a few nightmares. It’s worse in the winter, but sneaking into their bed to sleep wedged between them was at least a weekly occurrence. 

Alice yawns and as comfy as Jasper is with Ollie asleep snuggled into him, curling up in bed with Alice is enough of a temptation that he gently gathers his son up in his arms. 

“Bed?” He asks and Alice nods, switching off the TV. She yawns again, and her emotions are all soft and content. But Ollie murmurs in his arms, curling against him and sighing in his sleep. 

He knows he’s spoiling Ollie, indulging him, as he follows Alice into their room, to tuck Ollie into the middle of the bed with his blanket and his dog, as Alice crawls back in her side of the bed. He tugs off his sweatshirt to slip in on his side, carefully sliding Ollie so that Alice can pillow her head on his shoulder (he has no idea how she sleeps like that, but she insists that she’s comfortable). 

“Love you,” Alice mumbles, Ollie tucked against her. He’s always been fascinated about the way she just drops off to sleep - she’s come a long way since the screaming night terrors she’d have if anyone was in the room when she slept that she had had when he met her. 

He treasures this, the way both Alice and Ollie are completely relaxed, their breathing even, and their emotions that insubstantial sensation that he likens to floating underwater. 

It’s calm. It’s peace. 

“Love you too.”

[palmviewfm]

any mw counterparts?

there's  soooooo  many  counterpart  options  that  you  can  go  with  !  i'll  leave  some  under  the  read  more  for  you  to  make  it  easier.

riverdale:  betty  cooper,  veronica  lodge,  archie  andrews,  cheryl  blossom,  jason  blossom,  reggie  mantle,  midge  klump,  kevin  keller,  polly  cooper,  toni  topaz,  jughead  jones,  moose  mason,  and  josie  mccoy.

pretty  little  liars:  aria  montgomery,  spencer  hastings,  emily  fields,  alison  dilaurentis,  maya  st  germain,  mona  vanderwaal,  mike  montgomery,  caleb  rivers,  noel  kahn,  and  toby  cavanaugh.

teen  wolf:  lydia  martin,  scott  mccall,  allison  argent,  malia  tate,  derek  hale,  isaac  lahey,  liam  dunbar,  cora  hale,  theo  raeken,  kira  yukimura,  jackson  whittemore,  and  erica  reyes.

clueless:  dionne  davenport,  amber  mariens,  murray  duvall,  travis  birkenstock,  christian  stovitz,  summer  bonet  and  elton  tiscia.

charmed:  prue  halliwell,  phoebe  halliwell,  piper  halliwell  and  paige  matthews.

all  american:  olivia  baker,  layla  keating,  asher  adams,  patience,  simone  hicks,  thea  mays,  jj  parker,  damon  sims,  jordan  spencer,  spencer  james,  and  jaymee.

greys  anatomy:  lexi  grey,  arizona  robbins,  atticus  lincoln,  derek  shephard,  addison  montgomery,  callie  torres,  alex  karev,  and  april  kepner.

bridgerton:  francesca  bridgerton,  penelope  featherington,  daphne  bridgerton,  simon  basset,  kate  sharma  and  colin  bridgerton.

sex  and  the  city:  carrie  bradshaw,  miranda  hobbs  and  charlotte  york.

twilight:  bella  swan,  alice  cullen,  carlisle  cullen,  esme  cullen,  emmett  cullen,  and  jacob  black.

friends:  ross  geller,  joey  tribbiani,  chandler  bing,  monica  geller,  mike  hannigan  and  janice  litman.

the  vampire  diaries:  elena  gilbert,  katherine  pierce,  stefan  salvatore,  caroline  forbes,  bonnie  bennett,  enzo  st  john,  hayley  marshall,  klaus  mikaelson,  elijah  mikaelson  and  rebekah  mikaelson.

pitch  perfect:  beca  mitchell,  chloe  beale,  aubrey  posen,  lilly  onakuramara,  cynthia  rose,  and  stacie  conrad.

the  summer  i  turned  pretty:  belly  conklin,  conrad  fisher,  jeremiah  fisher,  steven  conklin,  taylor  jewel,  and  cam  cameron.

shadowhunters:  clary  fray,  simon  lewis,  isabelle  lightwood,  jace  herondale,  alec  lightwood,  and  magnus  bane.

gossip  girl:  blair  waldorf,  serena  van  der  woodsen,  georgina  sparks,  nate  archibald,  and  dan  humphrey.

scream:  sidney  prescott,  tatum  riley,  kirby  reed,  tara  carpenter,  sam  carpenter,  gale  weathers,  dewey  riley,  randy  meeks  and  casey  becker.

gilmore  girls:  logan  huntzberger,  lane  kim,  dave  rygalski,  paris  geller,  lorelai  gilmore,  tristan  dugray,  luke  danes,  dean  forester,  emily  gilmore,  richard  gilmore,  sookie  st  james,  and  kirk  gleason.

the  notebook:  allie  hamilton  and  noah  calhoun.

interview with a vampire: louis de point du lac, lestat de lioncourt, estelle, santiago, armand, samuel barclay, and grace de point du lac.

a  cinderella  story:  austin  ames  and  sam  montgomery.

10  things  i  hate  about  you:  kat  stratford,  cameron  james,  joey  donner,  and  bianca  stratford.

grease:  sandy  olson,  danny  zuko,  betty  rizzo,  marty,  jan,  frenchy,  doody,  putzie,  sunny,  chacha  and  kenickie.

dirty  dancing:  frances  'baby'  houseman.

heathers:  heather  chandler,  heather  mcnamara,  heather  duke,  and  veronica  sawyer.

scooby  doo:  velma  dinkley,  daphne  blake,  shaggy  rogers,  and  fred  jones.

powerpuff  girls:  bubbles,  blossom,  and  buttercup.

[winningthesweepstakes]

Hornbeam All In by Cynthia Rylant, illustrated by Arthur Howard

Hornbeam All In by Cynthia Rylant, illustrated by Arthur Howard. Beach Lane Books/Simon & Schuster, 2023.9781665924818 Rating: 1-5 (5 is an excellent or a Starred review) 4 Format: Hardcover picture book What did you like about the book? This book contains three stories starring Hornbeam, a big, sweet moose who loves potato salad. Eureka and the Picnic: Hornbeam is happy to leave his jigsaw…

[nofatclips]

Sound & Color by Alabama Shakes from the album Sound & Color - Directed by James Frost [Making of here]

[hownot2doit]

… references (or: “a few books I read”) …

Andersen, Arnold, MD, with Leigh Cohn “Stories I tell my patients: 101 myths, metaphors, fables and tall tales for eating disorders recovery” Anderson, Laurie Halse “Wintergirls” Antieau, Kim “Mercy, unbound” Apostolides, Marianne “Inner hunger: a young woman’s struggle through anorexia and bulimia“ Ballard, Alexandra “What I lost” Beard, Amanda “In the water they can’t see you cry: a memoir” Brown, Harriet “Brave girl eating: a family’s struggle with anorexia” Bruch, Hilde “Eating disorders: obesity, anorexia nervosa, and the person within” Bruch, Hilde “The golden cage: the enigma of anorexia nervosa” Brumberg, Joan Jacobs “Fasting girls: the history of anorexia nervosa” Chepaitis, Barbara “Feeding Christine” Claude-Pierre, Peggy “The secret language of eating disorders: how you can understand and work to cure anorexia and bulimia“ Cohn, Leigh “Eating disorders: a reference sourcebook” Daniels, Lucy “With a woman’s voice: a writer’s struggle for emotional freedom” de Rossi, Portia “Unbearable lightness: a story of loss and gain” Eliot, Eve “Insatiable: the compelling story of four teens, food and its power” Forrest, Emma “Your voice in my head” Garfinkel, Paul, and David Garner “Handbook of treatment for eating disorders” Gold, Tracey “Room to grow: an appetite for life” Gottlieb, Lori “Stick figure” Greenfield, Lauren “Thin” Gura, Trisha “Lying in weight: the hidden epidemic of eating disorders in adult women” Hanauer, Cathi “My sister’s bones” Hautzig, Deborah “Second star to the right” Henke, Roxanne “Becoming Olivia” Hollis, Judi “Fat is a family affair” Hornbacher, Marya “Wasted, updated edition: a memoir of anorexia and bulimia” Johns, Nicole J. “Purge: rehab diaries” Kaslik, Ibi “Skinny” Kinoy, Barbara P. “Eating disorders: new directions in treatment and recovery” Kirkland, Kelsey “Dancing on my grave” Klein, Stephanie “Moose: a memoir of fat camp” Lerner, Betsy “Food and loathing: a lament” Levenkron, Steven “Anatomy of anorexia“ Levenkron, Steven “The best little girl in the world” Levenkron, Steven “Kessa” Levenkron, Steven “Treating and overcoming anorexia nervosa“ Liu, Aimee “Solitaire: the compelling story of a young woman growing up in America and her triumph over anorexia” Liu, Aimee “Gaining: the truth about life after eating disorders” Lott, Deborah A. “In session: the bond between women and their therapists” McClure, Cynthia Rowland “The monster within: overcoming bulimia” Medoff, Jillian “Hunger point” Miller, Caroline Adams “My name is Caroline” Moisin, Laura “Kid rex: the inspiring true account of a life salvaged from despair, anorexia and dark days in New York City” O’Neill, Cherry Boone “Starving for attention: a young woman’s struggle with and triumph over anorexia nervosa” O’Neill, Cherry Boone “Dear Cherry: questions and answers on eating disorders” Orbach, Susie “Fat is a feminist issue” Osgood, Kelsey “How to disappear completely: on modern anorexia” Palmer, Catherine “The happy room” Pershall, Stacy “Loud in the house of myself: memoir of a strange girl” Pierce, Bethany “Feeling for bones” Price, Nora “Zoe letting go” Rabinor, Judith Ruskay “A starving madness: tales of hunger, hope, and healing in psychotherapy” Raviv, Shani “Being Ana” Reindl, Sheila M. “Sensing the self: women’s recovery from bulimia” Rio, Linda “The anorexia diaries: a mother and daughter’s triumph over teenage eating disorders” Ronen, Tammie “In and out of anorexia: the story of the client, the therapist and the process of recovery” Ryan, Joan “Little girls in pretty boxes: the making and breaking of elite gymnasts and figure skaters” Sacker, Ira M. “Regaining your self: breaking free from the eating disorder identity: a bold new approach” Sacker, Ira M. “Dying to be thin: understanding and defeating anorexia nervosa and bulimia — a practical, lifesaving guide” Sargent, Judy Tam “The long road back: a survivor’s guide to anorexia” Schmidt, Randy L. “Little girl blue: the life of Karen Carpenter” Sey, Jennifer “Chalked up: inside elite gymnastics’ merciless coaching, overzealous parents, eating disorders, and

elusive olympic dreams” Sigler, Jamie-Lynn “Wise girl: what I’ve learned about life, love, and loss” Smith, Chelsea “Diary of an eating disorder: a mother and daughter share their healing journey” Snyder, Anne “Goodbye, paper doll” Spechler, Diana “Skinny” Taylor, Kate M. “Going hungry: writers on desire, self-denial, and overcoming anorexia” Valette, Brett “A parent’s guide to eating disorders: prevention and treatment of anorexia nervosa and bulimia” Wheeler, Kathleen (Editor) “Psychotherapy for the Advanced Practice Psychiatric Nurse” White, Kate “So pretty it hurts” Woolf, Emma “An apple a day: a memoir of love and recovery from anorexia” Yalom, Irvin D. “The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients” Yalom, Irvin D. “Love’s Executioner” Zgheib, Yara “The girls at 17 Swann Street”

[andythelemon]

✨ PRE-ORDERS NOW OPEN ✨

REVERENCE: A Romi Park Tribute Zine

32 pg | A5 | saddle stitch | 20 artists

Thanks to your help funding our Takahiro Sakurai & Mamoru Miyano zines last year, we were able to put together a 3rd edition! Celebrating one of the most renowned female seiyuu and the impressive range of her abilities, this book features many of her iconic roles from series old and new. With Ed, Temari, Madam Red, Ken, Hitsugaya, Naoto, Nana, Pakunoda & more, you don’t want to miss out!

Contributing artists: Andy - Juliette Brocal - Luaru - Aster - Sailor - Jununy - Roll - Xenia Rassolova - Moose - Deads - Cami - Sam. C - Courtney - Marshiyan - Kiu - Sona - Fiona Hsieh - Yun - Jeanne Hammel - Cynthia Tedy

Postcards: Michelle (Ganta Igarashi) - SinfulHime (Hyuuga Natsume) - CursivePractice (Zidane Tribal) - Myst-A (Yuujirou Shihoudani) - Hon (Akane Owari)

Tier 1: PDF Tier 2: Book only Tier 3: Book + 5 exclusive A6 postcards of characters not featured in the zine + a 6x7cm glittery Gamora sticker Tier 4: Tier 3 + pencil sketch commission of any anime character voiced by Ms. Park of your choice (see listing for further details)

Pre-orders close 15th June, items will be shipped later that month. All revenue goes to production costs; any extra profit after fulfillment will be donated to Hitsugaya’s much-needed holiday fund charity. Please contact the shop if you have questions/issues not covered by the FAQ. Thanks so much for your support! 💛

[kirill-kaprizov]

falling and falling until i...

pairing: eddie munson/oc (cynthia moose)wc: 1.5k note: god these two are so dumb thank u. also technically a part three to dealer's choice BUT it can be read as a stand alone <;3 warnings: swearing, smoking, mentions of drugs and alcohol

Eddie forgot her name, and at this point it’s too late to ask her.

or 3 more times Eddie and Moose meet-up. All told from Eddie’s perspective.

READ ON: ao3 ✰ wattpad ✰ ff.net ✰ quotev

MARCH 1984

“Your dad is Lionel Moose, right? The cop?”

“Yeah, he retired a year, year and a half ago.” The girl explained, kicking at the dirt beneath her feet, dreading the inevitable follow-up question.

“Oh. And how is he doing?”

Eddie sat beside the girl on the bench, almost pressed together, facing opposite directions. She was nearly silent, trying to sputter out a response… and as she did, he felt guilty.

“Shit,” he mumbled to himself, feeling like he should’ve known this. Hell, he probably did (small town and whatnot.)

Peering over at Moose, he didn’t really know how to comfort this grieving girl, she was basically a stranger.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

She cut him off with a raise of her hand as she looked up, making proper eye contact for the first time in this rendezvous. Her deep brown eyes seemed weary as she said, “no, you’re fine. I’m mostly normal about it now.”

He sighed, mentally kicking himself, “no, man, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

Word vomit was Eddie’s forte.

“How about this?” The upperclassman proposed, “I cut you a deal this time: fifteen bucks for the half.”

Glancing back at Moose, she let out a chuckle, eyes still watery, “is it that easy to get a discount? I just gotta put on the waterworks for ya?”

“Just this once, Moose.” He jokingly rolled his eyes, proud he was able to make this girl laugh after he almost made her cry.

“Sure,” She smiled as he looked away and set his little black box onto the table.

Next thing he knew, their arms brushed together momentarily before a bill between a pair of slender fingers came into view next to the aforementioned box. Eddie took the pair of ten dollar bills and he still felt her big, sad eyes on him, as if she was studying him at this moment.

He didn’t say anything as he glanced over and she was still staring. But once she realized he was looking back at her, she tore her eyes away quickly with a near smile gracing her face.

There were a few moments of silence as he sorted everything out, “here you go, Moose.” Eddie handed over a baggie and a five dollar bill.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, pocketing both the items. “Probably be a week or two before I seek you out again. Just as a heads up.”

Eddie nodded, packing up the box  and sliding it over as he watched her stand up from the table. “Sure thing, I’m pretty easy to find. Here or the arcade, sometimes the body shop on Pine.”

She walked away, nodding, and before she left the clearing, she turned back and with a smile on her face, she gave him a kind wave and said, “See you around, Eddie.”

It occurred to him at that moment while he gave a polite wave back that he never got her name.

.•*•.•*•.

DECEMBER 1984

Eddie didn’t eat school lunch most days, usually opting for bringing his own assortment of snacks. But who could resist pizza day? Nobody.

He stood in line alone, next in line to grab a tray, when he felt a tug on the pocket of his jean vest. He didn’t react right away as he heard giggles behind him. Jesus, it was probably some sick prank. Unfortunately, his curiosity got the better of him and he peered over his shoulder.

Behind him in line was Moose, a sheepish look on her face as a trio of girls skittered away and left her in the lunch line alone.

“Hey, Munson.” She greeted, slipping a piece of notebook paper into the front pocket of her overalls.

“Hi, Moose.” He felt mostly at ease as he turned around with a chuckle, slipping a hand into the pocket that was just messed with.

Despite having a moment of relief, he remembered the few conversations he had with Jeff and Wally concerning the last time he actually spoke to the girl behind him. They were convinced that she asked him out back in October, which is coincidentally the last time they spoke. (Not like they really talked outside of her buying weed from him or when he’d pop up wherever she found herself working for the time being.)

Pulling a neatly folded piece of paper out of the pocket that was being messed with, he laid it on the blue tray and it read, in very sloppy handwriting, ‘GOT ANY?? :)’

“Jesus Christ,” he mumbled to himself as he started going through the lunch line, the girl with the note right next to him.

As the pair dished up together, they made plans to meet out behind the school, opting to not go to the clearing on account of the snow that was coming down pretty heavily the whole morning.

Eddie was already outside, jacket zipped up and a cigarette between his fingers when Moose walked out grumbling to herself, an angry look on her face.

“You alright?” Eddie asked, taking a drag.

“No.” She stopped beside him, leaning against the brick. “Ate shit coming out of the gym.”

He looked down and winced when he saw her jean overalls tattered on the knees; dirt, snow, and blood coating the area. “You should probably go to the nurse.”

“Think so?” She kicked her leg out, peering at the mess over her oversized jacket. “Yeah, it’s usually pretty bad if the denim gets ripped, right?”

“Usually.” He shrugged. “Maybe this can wait until later if you just want to go there now?”

“No,” she protested, lighting brushing the dirt off the knees of her pants, wincing as she did so. “I need to wrap this up before school ends. I’m going for a drive right after.”

“Busy night, Moose?”

Shrugging, she straightened back up, digging through her pockets. 

He watched her in silence, really trying to imagine if he said yes to her invitation to the Halloween party. And the more he thought about that scenario, the more he didn’t believe his friends. Admittedly he wanted to say yes that day but then he remembered who her friends were and he couldn subject himself to that (as selfish as it sounds). 

If she were to ask again.. maybe—

“Here you go.” Her hand was in front of his chest, a bill between her fingers.

.•*•.•*•.

AUGUST 1985

He would’ve thought Moose was one of the victims in the mall fire if he hadn’t actually seen her in passing twice since she got back from wherever she disappeared to after they got pulled over back in June.

Eddie didn’t expect her to poke her head out of the back door of the Palace Arcade with a smile and a “hi, Eddie.”

“Moose, hey.” Eddie greeted, making eye contact with the girl as she came outside and holy shit— she looked good. Hot, even.

She was wearing a vibrant bikini top with the bottoms peeking out from under a pair of baggy jean shorts and her dark hair was put up haphazardly.

He tried to keep his eyes on her own as she sat down, but as her large, dark eyes met his, he had to look away. Unfortunately for him, the only other thing his stupid, stupid brain wanted to look at was her chest as she sat down opposite him.

She was speaking, but he wasn’t processing a single word until he finally looked back up at her face and then he heard her. “Eddie?”

He was embarrassed, trying to play it cool, “yeah.”

She laughed, shaking her head and taking a clip from the back of her head out of her long, dark hair, “how you been? Van alright?”

“It’s, yeah— I’ve been good. Van is awesome.” Eddie stated, focusing way too hard on his lunch box full of weed. He had to change the subject. “What’re you up to this evening?” 

Moose shrugged, pulling all of her hair onto one shoulder with a sigh, “I’m taking my sister and her friends for a little evening swim.”

“Need to show ‘em it’s not as fun as it sounds?” Eddie suggested with a laugh.

“Exactly.” She smiled at him. “They’re all starting high school next week so I need to do that before some fuckwit of an upperclassman tries to.”

“Speaking from experience?”

Nodding, she was kind of taken aback by the followup question, momentarily forgetting how curious Eddie Munson was, “my freshman year; first boyfriend.”

Eddie couldn’t help the words that spilled out next, “and how long did that last?”

“Wow,” she laughed, still playing with the ends of her hair, “two years too long. And yours?”

“My what?” Eddie questioned, his eyes starting to wander once again.

“Your last relationship.”

“Oh. It was a while ago, six, maybe seven months?”

Moose hummed, once again leaning against the old picnic table, “would I know her?”

“Don’t think so.” He shrugged, laughing it off. “Yours?”

“Oof.” Moose nodded, playing with her chipped nails, “I’m pretty sure you do.”

“Really?”

“Don’t think too hard about it,” she shrugged, “might hurt yourself.”

“Yes ma’am. What can I do for you today?”

Slapping a bill onto the table, she answered, “twenty bag.”

Eddie nodded, tearing his eyes away from the girl opposite him and sliding the twenty dollar bill under his black box before he began to rummage through it.

[eddies-munsonmoved]

"Can I say something now?" "I wasn't done yet, but go right ahead."

CYNTHIA & EDDIE    x

[eddies-munson]

title: rough fandom: stranger things pairing: eddie munson/oc warning(s): swearing, referenced drug use

READ ON: wattpad / ao3 / quotev / ff.net OR UNDER THE CUT

CHAPTER TWO X

10:22 am. Walking up to Ms. O'Donnell's desk, Cynthia knelt down and asked quietly, "do you have anything for me this week?"

The teacher peered over the report she was reading over as the rest of the students spoke amongst themselves. Sighing, she set down the report and wrote on a post-it note before handing it over to the girl on the other side of the desk. "I haven't spoke to him yet, but he needs it. Library, right after school."

Getting back up to her feet, Cynthia unfolded the note and her eyes widened when she read the name.

Eddie Munson.

"Are you serious?" She asked, before turning to look at Eddie who was surprisingly in his spot at the back corner of the classroom, headphones on and drumming his fingers on the desk in front of him.

"Go sit back down, Cynthia."

Taking a deep breath before turning around, she made her way to the very middle of the room where her assigned seat was. She could say no and leave Eddie hanging; not like he'd care very much, this was his third time taking this class. On the other hand, she'd feel kind of fucked up if she didn't even try to help him, it sucks having to repeat a grade but even more so what should be your last year in high school.

"You look like you just got fired, what happened?" Her friend Robin, nudged Cynthia from the seat on her right.

She passed the note to the blonde girl and let her read the name for herself.

"Holy shit. Good luck with that." Robin laughed and slipped the post-it into Cynthia's jacket pocket.

The bell rang not too long after and the girls each gathered their things before they had to separate for the rest of the day. "I'll see you tonight."

"You're working tonight? I thought you only did weekends."

"I could use the money." She shrugged, picking up her books and walking up the aisle.

Robin started talking about a bunch of kids that came in the previous night and ransacked the horror section as Cynthia walked by Ms. O'Donnell who had Eddie stopped in front of her desk, likely running down the tutor situation.

✰ ✰ ✰

3:42 pm. Cynthia felt like she was staring through the clock and into the chipping cement paint as she waited for Eddie. She knew this was a waste of time. "Just wait until four." She muttered to herself, turning her attention to the book in her lap.

Another few minutes of annoying near-silence was interrupted by loud laughter and the door opening, "I'll see you boys tomorrow."

There he was, thirty-five minutes late, Eddie Munson. Sunglasses pulled over his eyes, sweater in hand so he was just in his Black Sabbath t-shirt and his signature jean vest. "I'm so late, I'm sorry. Cynthia , right?"

"Yeah," she replied as he crossed the room, the smell of weed wafting off of him as he pulled the chair out and sat down, laying his sweater and notebook down on the table. "Ms. O'Donnell is letting you retake that midterm from a few weeks ago you failed."

"Yeah, I got a thirty percent." Eddie took two pencils, a pen and a lighter out of his pocket.

Cynthia laughed, "How?

"I'm really bad at World History."

"Clearly. This is your third time taking it."

"I don't store all that shit up here." He replied while tapping his forehead with the pen.

"Fair. Listen, we don't have too much time today, so we can do this tomorrow or Wednesday."

"The library's open until six." Eddie informed.

"I have work at four thirty. I was hoping we could get more done but--"

"My bad, Jeff needed a ride home and I'm--"

Cynthia cut him off, her volume dropping "I know exactly what you were doing, I literally buy weed from you."

Eddie snapped his fingers, "That's why I know your face. Tomorrow won't work, I have a gig at The Hideout."

She sighed, "We have to work something out, your re-test is next week Thursday." Looking at her planner, the weekends in the mornings and afternoons were fully clear and all next week was the same. "How does after school Wednesday and Friday, then we can meet up Saturday or Sunday, early."

"I have Hellfire on Friday, everything else sounds good."

"Your place or mine?"

✰ ✰ ✰

The doorbell rung, startling Cynthia awake. "What the fuck?" Crawling over to the window, she peeled the curtain open and squinted at the driveway. There was a brown and white van parked outside, Munson. "Fuck."

Nearly tripping once she crawled her way to the edge of the bed, she stood up straight and grabbed a pair of sweatpants off of the floor and put them on as she exited the room. Impatient knocked sounded as she made her way down the hall, "hold on!"

Swinging the door open, Eddie stood there, wearing a denim jacket and a Motorhead shirt, "Damn, I've been waiting out here for so long I thought you were a church girl or something." When she responded with only a confused look on her face, he spoke again, "It's eleven thirty. Did I wake you up or something?"

"Yeah," Cynthia looked at the clock to her left. 11:25am. "My bad, I lost track of time last night."

A gasp and a hand on his chest, "And we thought I was the slacker here, Moose."

Laughing, she opened the door wider, "Get in here." She let him pass before giving him a playful nudge to the shoulder, "and you are the slacker here, Munson."

They hung out for over an hour, going over notes and the textbook, spread out on the floor of the living room. Eddie stretched and let out a loud crack from his back, "Do you wanna take a break? Order a pizza and.." he trailed off, motioning himself smoking a joint as he did.

Laughing, Cynthia rolled her eyes, "Sure, I could eat. Domino's?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna run to my van real quick." He got up from his spot and stretched some more. The girl held her hand out and he took it, helping her stand up.

"Great, I'll order that and when you come in, can you pick a movie?"

Eddie nodded and they went their separate ways, he went out the door and into the cool, November air. Unlocking his van, he climbed in the sliding door and retrieved his black box. He needed to grab his weed but also needed a moment to think.

He liked Cynthia. Not like that, at least he thinks it's not like that. She was pretty cute but he always thought she was kind of preppy for what he feels like his type is. The more he sat in the door of his van the more he realized that he never really hung out with this girl or even talked outside of small talk when he'd deal to her.

"Shit," he breathed out as he stood up and slid the door shut, playing with the rings on his left hand as he walked back up to the house.Walking in, he slipped his shoes off and set the box down on the coffee table, before muttering to himself again, "movies, movies, movies. Where-- there they are."

He knelt down in front of a box that had a couple of movies laying on the top, Evil Dead and Carrie. Opening the box he was met with an even bigger collection of movies, mostly horror. "This your collection?"

"Yeah!" She yelled from another room down the hall.

She had taste. Shrugging to himself, Eddie covered his eyes with his hand and used the other hand to dig in the box and pick at random, he had trust that something good would come out of it.

Cynthia came out of her room, in a new outfit and asked, "What'd you pick?"

"Uhh," He uncovered his eyes and looked at the case, "Sleepaway Camp."

[hoboal87]

Elastic Heart Chapter Thirteen

Title : Elastic Heart - Crowley

Characters: Y/N Y/L/N, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Crowley, Cordelia Y/L/N

Pairing(s): Sam x Reader

Summary: Y/N and Cordy have started to settle into their new home when an enemy of Sam and Dean knocks on their door.

Word Count: 7.2k

Warnings: cursing, angst, TW: Torture (physical and mental), threats against a child, threats of kidnapping, CROWLEY IS NOT A NICE DUDE

A/N: Series is mostly canon compliant, taking place during season 8/9. For the purposes of this fic Sam was born in ‘84 instead of '83.

A/N 2: Please read the warnings! 

A/N 3: This chapter uses dialogue from 8x23 “Sacrifice”

Beta’d by @deanwinchesterswitch​

Elastic Heart Masterlist

Read Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen - Crowley

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” His gravelly voice sends shivers down my spine. He doesn’t wait for me to answer, stepping over the threshold into my home. He looks around for a moment, a smug grin creeping across his face. “Moose and Squirrel thought they could hide you from me, but as always, they underestimate me.”

I’m unable to stop him as he moves further into the house. My eyes dart to the kitchen, hoping that Cordy stays in there until I can get this stranger out of the house. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Maybe the rumors aren’t true.” There’s a twinge of disappointment in his voice.

Rumors? “What do you want?”

“Oh, Y/N, I don’t even know where to start.” My heart stops at his use of my name. He lets out a low, breathy chuckle. “Squirrel’s head on a platter, Moose under my command, serving in his rightful place, and you’re going to help me get what I want.”

“Who are you?” I ask, trying to cover the fear in my voice.

“Name’s Crowley.” He walks into my living room, his voice is calm, but underneath I can sense he’s dangerous. “Been watching you for some time now, Y/N, since before you left that godforsaken town in Texas, lucky for you, I’m a patient man.” He’s been watching me? “It’s fate, darling, that you’re in Lawrence. Surely you know this is the same town in which he was born, where his mother died?” I don’t answer. “Now, the only family he has left is in the same place his family fell apart.”

“Y/N,” Cordy comes out from the kitchen. The man’s eyes widen at the sight of her, a look of smugness washes over his face. “Who is it?”

“Cordy,” I try my best to keep all worry out of my voice. I have to get her out of the house, “how about you go over to Ms. Cynthia’s and play with Ava?” I try to keep my voice steady, not wanting to alarm her.

“This must be her.” His eyes narrow on Cordy. “She’s the spitting image of him; how no one put it together sooner is beyond me.” A sly smile creeps over his face. “Hello sweetie, you can call me Uncle Crowley.”

Her eyes dart between the man and me, and she doesn’t move. I move towards Cordy, and I can feel the man’s eyes on me, watching my every step.

“Cordelia Mary, look at me,” I say, pulling her attention back to me. “Go over and play with Ava, I’ll come over to get you in a little while.”

She hesitates, and I keep a fake smile on my face as she makes her way towards the front door. She stops in front of me. “I don’t want to leave you, Y/N,” Cordy whispers, throwing her arms around my waist, holding on to me tightly.

“Yes, Y/N, let her stay,” he taunts, taking another step closer to us. “I do love to play.”

I gently pry her arms off of me and guide her out the front door. She stands on the porch for a moment, watching as I do everything to mask my fear.

He leans in whispering in my ear, “I could snap her neck like a twig.” Panic fills me as he stares into my eyes. I can feel them watering, and I nod slightly.

“Stay at Ava’s until I come and get you. You don’t have to worry about me.” I close the gap between us, lower myself down to meet her eye-level, and wrap my arms tight around her. “Remember what Sam told you? About the angels?” She nods. “Then you have nothing to worry about.”

She takes a step back, and I give her a reassuring smile. I can feel Crowley behind me, watching as Cordy walks to Cynthia’s across the street. As soon as I see the door open and she disappears into the house, I let out a strangled breath. When I turn around, he’s only inches away and takes a step to the side; with a flick of his fingers, the door behind me slams shut. My heart drops, and I turn back around, desperately trying to open it. He chuckles at my attempts, before yanking me away.

“Whatever you want, leave her out of it,” I say with all the courage I can muster. “I don’t know who you think we are-”

“You’re exactly who I think you are, darling,” he says sharply. “I didn’t believe my source at first, thought she was sending me on some wild goose chase, but there is no denying it. That is the child of Sam Winchester.”

“She’s not–” I splutter, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“There’s no point in lying, darling.” He sighs, rolling his eyes. “There’s been quite enough of that already,“ he laughs snidely. "Angels weren’t the only ones keeping tabs on you.”

“Who are you? What do you want from us?”

“I hate repeating myself,” he growls. “Crowley, King of Hell.” He snaps his fingers, and I’m forced into a chair, unable to move. “You and that little bastard Winchester, are going to help me get what I want.”

“Fuck you.” I spit out. I squirm against the chair, trying with all my strength to move, but as hard as I try, I can’t fight my way out. Castiel, if you can hear me, I’m in trouble, and I need your help.

“Feisty one, aren’t we?” he quips. “I like a girl with a little fight in her.”

I continue to struggle against the invisible force holding me down. He disappears for a moment, and when he returns, he’s holding a bottle of amber liquid and glass.

“In a moment such as this, one needs a drink,” he declares while filling the glass. “You, my dear, are going to be in for such a treat. Nothing brings me more joy than watching the Winchesters suffer.”

“They won’t let you hurt me. They’ll be here any second, and they’ll stop you.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, darling.” He leans forward, a smug smile forming on his lips. “My sources tell me that those morons aren’t aware that you’re in Lawrence. They’re under the impression that you’re still in Weldon.” He brings the glass to his lips, taking a sip. “Tsk tsk tsk. I could move you across the country before they even realize you’re gone. Or maybe,” he takes another drink, “I’ll just leave your body for them to find, that is, whatever’s left.”

“Fuck you.”

“Very well then, perhaps I’ll go to your neighbors and have a chat with little Cordelia,” he smirks, and I can feel the blood drain from my face. “You’ll find I can be very persuasive.”

“Don’t.” My heart is thudding in my chest. “You even go near her and I’ll–”

“You’ll what, darling?” He grins slyly and produces a long silver blade, admiring it as he slices through the air. My eyes widen as I suck in a nervous breath. “Now, are you going to do as you’re told?”

Cas, if you can hear me, I need your help.

I clench my jaw and don’t respond, trying to hold my own against him. He’s out of the chair and in front of me instantly, holding the blade against my throat. I whimper as I feel a trickle of blood flow down my neck.

“I asked you a question, Y/N. Are you going to cooperate?” I nod defeatedly. “Good girl. You’re going to convince those idiot Winchesters to hand something over to me, something that belongs to me. Understood?”

“Why me?” I mumble, hoping that I can stall him until Cas answers my prayers. “We don’t– we’re not hunters, we’re not in that life.”

“That’s what makes this even more delicious,” He brings the glass to his lips and takes a sip. “If you were, you’d know how to ward your home, keep things like me out. Moose just left you vulnerable to any sort of attack.” His words sting; I keep telling myself that there isn’t any truth to it. “It’s usually the first thing they teach someone, Devil’s Trap, simple enough for anyone to learn. Would’ve kept me from doing this.” He snaps his fingers, and pain radiates throughout my body. His eyes narrow as I silently struggle. “Interesting.”

He snaps again, and the pain slowly dissipates, before rising again. He repeats this over and over for what feels like hours. I’m a sobbing mess when he finally stops. Please, Cas.

“You know, our boy Sam has been getting his hands very dirty for quite some time now, and you two may be the only things that can keep him in line. You see, darling, you’re what they call leverage.” He finishes the glass and pours himself another drink. “If you’re not enough, little Cordelia may be the exact motivation those piles of flannel need.” His phone rings, pulling his attention away from me; he stares at it for a moment before looking back in my direction. “Do as you’re told, darling.” He taps a button on the phone and lays it down on the arm of his chair. “Moose! I was wondering when you’d finally call.”

“We’re finishing the Trials, Crowley. There’s nothing you can do to stop us.” The sound of Sam’s voice through the small speaker fills me with a temporary sense of relief.

“Are you sure about that? Because I’ve been having quite the lovely chat with someone who may be able to convince you otherwise. Say ‘hello,’ darling.” Crowley walks towards me, holding the phone out until it’s in front of me.

“Whatever you’re trying to pull, it isn’t gonna work.” Crowley’s eyes narrow as he watches me react to Sam’s voice on the phone. “It’s over, you lose.” Crowley arches an eyebrow and smiles at me. He’s enjoying this.

“Cooperate, darling,” Crowley hisses, waiting for me to speak. “Not talking, eh? We can fix that.” He growls, and suddenly a burning sensation spreads from my shoulder to my fingertips, as some invisible force pulls it into an unnatural position. I bite my lip to keep from screaming, doing everything I can not to give him the satisfaction of knowing the pain I’m in. “Oh, I like this one, Moose. She’s tougher than she looks. Let’s see what we can do about that.” Crowley looks at me pointedly for a moment, and his lips curl.

Before I can comprehend what he’s smiling about, the force on my arm increases. Tears fill my eyes, and the taste of copper fills my mouth as I bite the inside of my cheek, desperately trying not to give in to Crowley’s demands.

“I wish you could see the look on her face. She’s trying so hard to be strong. But…” Another pull on my arm, snaps the bone, and I scream, unable to do anything else. “I always get what I want.”

“SAM!” I barely recognize my voice as I shriek out his name.

“Y/N/N?!” His voice is faint through the buzzing in my ears. I let out a sob as the pain radiates through me. “Is that you? Talk to me, baby, let me know you’re okay.”

“It’s her, Sam.” My vision has blurred, but I can still make out the smug smile on Crowley’s face. “Did you really think you could keep Y/N and that little bastard of yours hidden from me?”

“Stay away from them!” Sam’s voice roars through the phone speaker.

“Too late for that one, Moose. I don’t know why I didn’t think of using them sooner. Tommy never stood a chance. Tell me, what was it like staring into Sarah’s face as she took her last breath? Knowing you allowed another child to be raised without their mother? You won’t see Y/N’s, and who knows what’ll happen to little Cordelia.”

“No, no, no,” I whimper. Crowley lets out a low, breathy chuckle as he continues torturing me with his words. Castiel, I need your help.

“I have connections everywhere, boys, you should know that by now. But can you imagine my surprise when Y/N and Cordelia show up at the only place I have one of my plants in a hundred miles? That’s serendipitous.”

“You go anywhere near her, and I swear to God–” Sam threatens, voice full of anger and frustration.

“You’ll what?” Crowley snaps his fingers, and it feels like white-hot pokers are being dragged along my veins. “You think you can stop me from doing this?” I scream out again as his knife slashes across my skin.

“Take your hands off of her!”

“Oh, believe me, Samantha, if my hands were on her, you’d know.”

He snaps again, and I let out a shaky breath as the pain subsides. I know it won’t last long. Crowley’s getting off on torturing me both physically and mentally. I try to prepare myself for whatever he may do or say next. The sudden sound of a dog growling somewhere from behind startles me, and I turn away in disgust as a rancid puff of air wafts across my cheek.

“You know, I’m quite disappointed in you,” sarcasm bleeds from his lips. “Knocking up some small-town girl, then just walking away? That’s not a move I’d expect from you, Samuel. But the pièce de résistance? Walking away without leaving some sort of protection for your whore and the little bastard. You know what’s stopping me from getting Cordelia?” Crowley’s eyes narrow on me, “nothing, except the fact that I want you to listen as I rip Y/N’s last breath from her. Come to think of it, maybe I’ll go to the neighbor’s house and bring Cordelia back here. Let her watch as I slit Y/N’s throat.”

“Y/N/N, don’t listen to him,” Sam’s voice cuts through the air. “Whatever he says, you can’t believe him. Demons lie. We’re– I’m gonna stop him.”

“I’d love to see you try,” Crowley sneers. “Tell me, do you even know where your precious Y/N and Cordelia are?”

“O-of course,” Sam stammers. Suddenly, I’m aware of the fact that I did the one thing I promised Sam I wouldn’t do, I took Cordy and left. Crowley’s baiting him, and he’s falling for it.

“Kansas,” my voice is weak, barely above a whisper, and every logical part of my brain is telling me that Sam can’t hear me, but I try to tell him anyway. “We’re in La-”

I feel a grip around my throat, cutting off my air supply as I try to choke out the words.

“Ah, ah, ah, darling,” Crowley berates me. “Let’s not spoil the surprise, shall we?

“Le- go,” I beg him, “pl- any-”

“What was that? Did you say anything, darling?” Still unable to speak, I nod in response. “That is a poor choice of words.” Crowley sets the phone down, saunters over and pats the air next to my shoulder, “stand down, Juliet.” The growling fades away as he leans in closer and grabs me by the hair, yanking my head back. “I could have you tied down and gagged, begging for death, and while I’d be happy to oblige, it wouldn’t quite scratch the itch.

“Maybe I should have one of my demons possess you,” Crowley eyes the charm hanging around my neck and lowers his voice. “Jolly Green would never suspect such a thing. He’d be so happy to have you back. Then, when the time is just right, I’d have you watch as he dies by your hand. Can you imagine the look on his face, watching the love of his life slice him open? You’d be a captive audience, allowed to watch as he draws his last breath, feel the warmth of his blood as it flows from his wounds, maybe even get a little taste. Squirrel would be devastated. There’s nothing that he wants more than for Moose to get his happy ending. Watching him unravel as he realizes there’s no way to bring back his precious Sammy? Well, that would be simply sublime.” He lets go of me and takes another drink from the glass. “No demon will deal with him, not again. Sam Winchester will be dead, for good this time.”

“This time?” I gasp as the pressure on my throat is released.

“Ah, it seems those flannel-wearing idiots haven’t shared everything with you. Can’t say I blame them, that lumberjack has died so many times, who can keep track?” He lets out a dry laugh, and I close my eyes in a desperate attempt to calm myself. “Surely he told you how he let Lucifer out of his cage in Hell? No? Or how he let Dean rot away in Purgatory for a year?”

The anger in Sam’s voice is almost palpable as it booms through the small phone, and I tilt my head, almost expecting to see him standing next to the chair. He alternates between threatening Crowley and begging me not to listen to the demon. Crowley continues to ramble, and I try not to react to his goading, hoping I can keep him talking until Cas shows up.

“Samantha tried to live a normal life.” Crowley walks over and picks up the phone. “Surely, he told you about the girl he gave up everything for?” I want to scream, tell him to shut up, and I can see the joy spread across his face as he riles me up. “C’mon Sam, tell us all about the girl that made you leave everything you’ve ever known. I’m sure Y/N is just dying to know why you chose another woman over her. Over your daughter.”

“I– I didn’t. Y/N/N, please, you can’t believe him. When all of this is over, I’ll explain everything.”

“I think we’d all love to hear it, Moose. Come now, share with the class,” Crowley intones. “Better yet, explain to Dean just how easy it was for you to walk away. You didn’t even think twice about it, did you? Just left poor Kevin to the wolves, so to speak. Dean was fighting for his life, and you were living in Texas with a girl and a dog.”

Sam’s breaths come hard and fast as he sputters out denials. Dean’s muffled ‘motherfucker’ filters through the discord.

“He was so close, darling, only a few hours away, and yet, he didn’t even bother to contact you, did he? No, Samantha found some other little whore to fill the emptiness. Gave up looking for his brother, for her. Gave up a life of hunting for her.”

I keep repeating Sam’s words in my head, demons lie.

“He didn’t do that for you, did he? No, he ran away.”

“He didn’t– it wasn’t his fault,” I argue feebly, not sure if I’m trying to convince him or myself. “He loves me; he wouldn’t have left if he’d known-”

“Are you sure about that, darling?”

“Y/N, don’t listen to him,” the low timbre of Dean’s voice comes through the phone.

“We’d been keeping track of Y/N for years,” Sam and Dean are silent. “Oh, boys, did you think that Feathers and all those other idiot angels were the only ones who knew about Y/N? That’s just naive. You know Lilith was planning on using her next if Ruby couldn’t get the job done?”

“Fuck you,” Sam growls. “Leave her alone, Crowley.”

“Didn’t tell her about Ruby, either? You just love keeping your secrets, don’t you?” Crowley’s lips curl as Sam goes silent. “Got you nice and addicted to-”

“Shut it, Crowley!”

“You had so many chances to track her down. Admit it; you hadn’t thought about Y/N in years. If you had, it wouldn’t have taken ten years and a Shtriga to get you back to that one-horse town. We thought Jessica’s death would’ve sent you running back, but no, your unhealthy, co-dependent relationship with your brother and need for revenge consumed every part of you, didn’t it, Sam? Every choice you made after that took you further away from Y/N.”

I remember Sam saying he dreamt of Jessica’s death. Did he know that this was gonna happen? That Crowley would come after us? I knew he wasn’t telling me something, but I never realized just how dangerous the monsters that Sam fought could be, and apparently, he decided not to warn me. Crowley is making a point that I don’t want to believe: Sam chose to stay away for all those years.

“Alright, Boris, enough with the monologuing.” Dean’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. "Y/N, listen to me; whatever Crowley tells you, you can’t believe a word he says.”

“Let her hear it from the source then,” Crowley says with a coy grin. “Tell us, Sam. Tell Y/N why you never came back, why you chose girl after girl instead of her?”

“It wasn’t like that, Y/N.” Sam’s voice is filled with desperation. Crowley’s baiting him, and he’s falling for it. “I always wanted to come back to you-to our family.”

“Your family,” Crowley mocks Sam. “Rumors about a Winchester child went around for years.“ Crowley directs his next comments to me. "But no one could find her; someone went to great lengths to cover up her existence. Had a spell of protection cast over her shortly after she was born. Lucky for me, it was only a matter of time before you crossed paths with that lumbering idiot again.”

“Fuck you,” I mutter.

“Eloquent, aren’t we?” Crowley chuckles. “You know, I’m normally much more patient, but when I heard about the trials, I just knew it was time to act. All I had to do was give Samantha a nudge here, a well-placed article there, et voila, it was like taking candy from a baby,” Crowley refills his glass. “One of my lieutenants was already in place when those two heaping piles of flannel crossed the town’s lines. You still had so much resentment for your parents you didn’t even notice the change in your father’s behavior, did you, Y/N? Would you like to know the real cause of that accident?”

Crowley sneers as I cut him off with a scream. “No!”

“Oh, yes, darling. Sometimes you just have to pull the strings of fate in the right direction,” he snaps his fingers once again, sending lightning bolts of pain coursing through me. “Now let’s talk about the little one, should I bring her back and let her watch you die? Or should I leave your body for her to find?”

Panic replaces the pain coursing through me, and each breath becomes harder to take. “Maybe, I’ll just turn her into one of my loyal followers.”

No, no, no. I can see the pleasure Crowley takes in my fear. Sam’s voice rings out tense and full of condemnation as he continues to yell at Crowley.

“I’d have little Cordelia calling me ‘father’ in no time, it would be the ultimate power.”

My body vibrates with rage as he releases his hold. “You stay away from her. I’ll kill you if you lay a finger on her.”

“There it is.” There’s a smugness in his voice. “I see now exactly why Sam chose you. I didn’t at first, but now, with your mama bear instincts coming out? You are the perfect vessel to carry on the Winchester bloodline. Crowley turns his focus back to the phone in his hand. “What’s it gonna be, boys? You’ve got two minutes to make your decision. Finish the Trials, or save your precious family.”

The tightness around my throat returns, slowly cutting off my air supply. Please, Cas, help.

“We’ll deal. You stop, we’ll stop.” I can practically hear Sam pacing the floor of whatever room he is in. “Now, let her go.”

“First, we must discuss terms, gigantor. I want the Demon Tablet, the whole Demon Tablet. Then we’ll talk about what to do with the girls.” After several moments of strained silence, Crowley grows impatient. “Tick-tock, boys. Little Cordelia could walk in on us at any moment. I’d hate for her to have to watch her mother die. It’s an awful thing, isn’t it, Moose? Watching someone you love die right before your eyes.”

“Fine, then we get the angel tablet,” Dean’s voice fills the air.

“On what grounds?” Crowley argues.

“On the grounds that you’re a douchebag, and no one should have that much power.”

“Fine. Now about Y/N and the little one,” Crowley’s lips curl as I feel my throat closing.

“They’ve got nothing to do with any of this, we’ve agreed to your terms, now let Y/N go.”

“You’re right, Y/N doesn’t, but that doesn’t mean I can’t use her in every depraved way I can think of, have a bit of fun with her.”

“Fuck you,” Sam snarls, “if you even think about laying a finger on her, I’ll kill you and every fucking demon that gets in my way.”

“Such a flirt, Samantha. Your dear Y/N is running out of time, and you want foreplay? I’m touched. Once she’s gone, little Cordelia will be mine for the taking. Azazel had the right idea; I could make myself a child-army. I wonder, Sam, did she inherit your predilection for demon blood?”

“Listen here, you son of a bitch.”

“No, you listen. You will stop the Trials and give me the tablet, or Moose’s whore is gonna bite the dust. What’s more important? Completing the trials or letting Y/N die? Will you let her become another innocent casualty in your quest to save the world? It’s up to you, Sasquatch, what’s it going to be?”

“Let me talk to her, Crowley,” Sam’s voice cuts through the haziness of my brain.

“You don’t trust me, Moose? I’m hurt.”

“Prove to me that she’s still alive.” Crowley rolls his eyes, and the grip on my neck loosens. I gasp for air as he brings the phone closer to me. “Y/N/N, talk to me, please, baby.” I choke back a sob. “C’mon Y/N/N, let me know you’re okay.”

“S-m,” I plead, “don- g- Cordy.“ Crowley lets out a deep chuckle.

“Y/N/N, you’re gonna be okay. I’m not gonna let him hurt you or Corie.”

“One minute.”

Tears press against my eyes, and I try to blink them away, not wanting Crowley to see my weakness.

“Maybe I’ll kill the little one first.” He rubs his thumb against my cheek, brushing away the traitorous tear that slipped free. “Let Y/N watch as I slit her throat.” Crowley’s voice is apathetic as it continues to torture me with his words. “Or maybe I’ll just take her with me to Hell; every child needs a father. Start her reprogramming immediately. She’s young enough. I’m sure within a few months, I could make her do anything I want. Now, shall I have her kill you or Squirrel first?”

“Fuck you,” Sam growls.

“Ah, the Winchester Wit, do you think Cordelia has that same mastery of language you have? Keep it up, and you’ll never know. Thirty seconds, Moose.“

Please, Castiel. I continue to pray silently as my vision begins to blur.

"I’ll stop the trials,” Sam mumbles, his voice so low I can barely understand him.

“What was that? Louder, Sam, so that Y/N can hear you.”

“I’ll stop,” Sam huffs, “now let her go.”

“I just need two little words from you,“ Crowley’s lips curve into a sneer, and he narrows his eyes back on the phone. "I surrender.”

Crowley’s fingers curl around nothing, and the pressure around my neck becomes unbearable. My heart is pounding in my chest, and my lungs are burning as my vision tunnels, darkness consuming it, but my only thought is for Cordy. Sam’s voice comes low through the phone, but I can’t make out his words.

Before the darkness completely takes over, the tightness around my neck loosens, and I take in long deep breaths, coughing as I exhale. Crowley is still wearing a smug smile; Sam must’ve told him what he wanted to hear.

"Pleasure doing business with you, boys.” Crowley ends the call and pockets the phone before turning his attention back on me. “This wasn’t personal; you mustn’t believe it was.” He sounds almost remorseful as he brings his attention back to me. “You and the little one were just a means to an end.” With a snap of his fingers, I find myself free from the unseen restraints. “As long as Moose and Squirrel keep up their end, my demons will stay away from you and Cordelia.” Crowley moves to place a hand on my shoulder.

“Touch me, and I’ll kill you,” I growl at him, adrenaline still pumping through me.

“Careful, darling. It may not have been about you, but I meant what I said. I’ll do things to you that will make you wish for death. The boys may have made a deal, but you didn’t. You could be in worse shape.”

“Why?” I mutter. “Why us?”

“I told you, darling, nothing motivates a Winchester better than threatening someone they love. Sam Winchester’s daughter and his former flame? You are the ultimate bargaining chips…”

I tune him out as my mind begins to race. This—this is the very reason why John wanted Sam to stay away. The reason why we could never be together. Dean said it himself, Crowley was using Cordy and me to get to him and Sam. I should’ve never told him the truth. I should’ve let him believe whatever John said to him that night.

“…next generation of Winchesters. Take care, darling.” he disappears before my eyes, leaving me alone in the empty house. My legs wobble as I stand, and I hold on to the furniture to keep myself upright. I make it to the front walkway before my legs give out, and I collapse against the wall, uncontrollable sobs leaving me.

I cradle my arm against my chest, and pain radiates from my shoulder with the slightest movement. I know I need a doctor. I foolishly pray to Cas again. Why would Sam tell me to pray to him if it wasn’t going to work? I should’ve known better than to trust that some angel was going to appear to save me.

Every instinct is telling me to go straight to Cordy and wrap her in my arms. I need to know that she is safe, that Crowley didn’t go after her anyway. Crowley said he had connections everywhere. Could Cynthia or Tom be possessed? Did sending her away do more harm than good? My mind is swimming with worry for her safety.

My legs shake as I stand back up, and I compose myself as best I can. I wrap my arm as carefully in a large ace bandage, wanting to shield Cordy from the aftermath as much as I can. I’m walking towards the door when I hear a light rapping, and panic starts filling my body again. Crowley had just proven to me that anyone or anything could walk into our house, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

“Y/N?” A familiar voice fills the air. “It’s Cynthia; Cordy asked me to come check on you.”

I open the door just enough to peer out to confirm it is Cynthia standing there. I pull Sam’s necklace over my head and pass it through the opening, “can you put this on, please?” I say through the small space, Cynthia looks at me curiously but complies. I wait a moment to see if there is any kind of reaction before letting out a relieved sigh and opening the door wider.

“Y/N!” Cynthia exclaims as she takes in my disheveled appearance. “What happened?”

The night of the werewolf attack replays in my head, and how much it pained me to lie about what happened then, how I have to lie again.

“Me and my two left feet,” I lie and let out a weak laugh. “Tried to break my fall, and landed bad,” I shake my head and try to keep my voice as steady as I can.

“Hon,” she takes another step forward, gently grabbing my arm. An involuntary hiss leaves me, and tears fill my eyes. Her eyes land on the dried blood, where Crowley lacerated my shoulder. “A fall wouldn’t cause that.” A choked sob leaves me; I don’t know how to lie my way out of this. “I think you need to let me take you to the hospital.”

“I c-can’t ask you to do t-that, Cynthia.” I shake my head. I hate being this helpless. “Cordy, I need to see Cordy.”

“Cordy’s fine, Y/N,” she walks me over to the couch. “She and Ava are watching a movie.” She looks me over again; concern etched on her face. “Whatever happened, Y/N, you can tell me,” Cynthia softens her voice. “If someone attacked you–”

“No one attacked me,” I lie again, knowing I can’t tell her the truth. Cynthia frowns, doubtful of what I’m telling her. I pick something as close to the truth as I can. “When I was a teenager, I survived an animal attack,” I sigh.

“Oh, hon, I’m sorry.” Cynthia reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze.

“I’m mostly okay, but it caused me to start having panic attacks. Most of the time, I can calm myself down before they get really bad,” I gage her reaction. “But, my usual methods weren’t working, and I didn’t want Cordy to see me like that, that’s why I sent her over,” she nods as if she understands. “I was trying to get upstairs so that I could take my medication, and that’s when I fell.”

“That doesn’t explain the cuts on your shoulder and neck, Y/N,” she gently pries.

“It’s nothing, really,” I mumble, shaking my head. Cynthia’s forehead wrinkles, and her eyebrows furrow, but she doesn’t question me further. I lean my head back, and when I close my eyes, Cordy’s worried face is the only thing I can see. My heart begins to race, and each breath becomes harder to take. “Cordy!”

“She’s at my house, Y/N,” Cynthia attempts to calm me, but I jerk away when she reaches out. “Look at me, Y/N,” she demands softly, “where’s your medicine? Upstairs?”

I nod, mumbling “bathroom, sertraline,” in between ragged breaths. Cynthia returns with the bottle and a glass of water before I even realize that she’d left. She hands me two pills along with the glass, making sure that my trembling hand has a firm grip on it before sitting down. Once I swallow the medicine, Cynthia takes the glass from me and sets it on the coffee table. She squeezes my hand reassuringly and quietly sits next to me until my breathing begins to even out, and tensed muscles start to relax.

“Let me take you to the hospital, Y/N, I insist.”

By the time Cynthia and I are back from the hospital, it’s almost midnight. My arm is wrapped in a cast and perched in a sling. Cynthia walks us into my living room, setting a white bag with pain medicine on the coffee table. She props pillows behind me as I take a seat before her phone rings. She steps away, and I gather she’s talking to her husband, saying she doesn’t know when she’ll be home and that Cordy would be staying over.

“I can go get her,” I stand up from the couch as Cynthia walks back towards me, putting her phone away. “I don’t want to be a bother to you any more than I already have tonight.”

“Y/N, please,” Cynthia gently reaches for my good arm. “You need rest, and Cordy’s sleeping already. Let her stay over; it’s only going to worry her more if you come and get her in the middle of the night.”

“Are you sure? I know we haven’t gotten the chance to really know each other yet–”

“Y/N,” Cynthia lifts her hand to stop me. “You’re a single mom, and new around here, and you’ve already had a rough night. I’ve been there, and believe me, I know how hard it can be. Can I call anyone for you?” She asks as she retrieves a pill from the orange bottle, and I shake my head. “No family?” I shake my head again as she hands me one, and I swallow it dry. “No one at all?”

“It’s just the two of us,” my eyes drift over to a silver picture frame. “I’m an only child. My parents died in a car accident a few months ago. Cordy was in the car with them when it happened.”

“My God,” Cynthia gasps. “Y/N, I– I can’t imagine.”

“Thank you, we’re still adjusting, my parents–” I debate whether telling her the whole story. Maybe another time. “They were my whole support system.”

“What about Cordy’s dad? Is he around?”

“I don’t want to talk about her dad,” I snap back at her unintentionally.

“I’m sorry,” Cynthia’s face pinks up with embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Guilt rises in me, it’s an innocent enough question, and I know she doesn’t mean to cause the reaction in me that it does. “No, please don’t apologize, you didn’t know. Cordy’s dad and me, it’s–”

“Complicated?”

“To put it mildly,” I let out a small chuckle, and we both relax. “He wants to be a part of our lives, but his job takes him all over the country, and Cordy needs stability in her life, not a dad who comes and goes.”

She lets out a sigh. “Like I said, Y/N, I’ve been there. If you ever want to talk about it, please don’t hesitate.”

Cynthia stays with me for another hour before going home and promising to send Cordy back first thing in the morning. I’m making my way up to my bedroom when I hear a rustling. My whole body tenses, knowing that just like before, I have no way of stopping another monster or demon from walking into my house. I turn around and see Cas standing in the front walkway, and for a moment, I relax.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t have come sooner, Y/N,” Cas’ face remains unreadable as the two times I’d seen him before. As I close the distance between us, my relief is instantly replaced with rage. “But, I was otherwise engaged–” I cut him off with a slap to the face.

“You were ‘otherwise engaged’? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I shout as I ball up my fist and pound it against Cas’ chest. “Sam said you would come if I prayed to you! Why didn’t you come? Didn’t you hear it?”

“Yes,” His face and voice stay emotionless. “The situation seemed to be under control.”

“Under control?” My face hardens, and I clench my jaw. It takes all of my willpower not to hit him again. “You call me being attacked in my own home, mine and my daughter lives being threatened ‘under control’? He tortured me just to get to Sam.”

“We had no reason to believe that Crowley was going to come after you. We were told by higher authorities that the demons weren’t aware of you or Cordelia. Clearly, they were incorrect.”

“Clearly,” I scoff and take a few steps back.

“I understand you’re upset, Y/N,” Cas responds coldly, speaking only in statements of fact. “Sam and Dean will have Crowley in their grasp soon enough; they won’t let him harm you or Cordelia. You must understand, Y/N, this is for the greater good.”

“The greater good is not my concern, Cas. The only thing I care about is my daughter. Do you know what he said to me? What he told me he would do to me? To Cordy?”

“I am sorry, Y/N. The angels assured us you were never in any real danger. If you were, I would have interceded sooner.”

“No real danger?” I gesture to my injured arm, “You call this no danger?”

“I can fix that,” he says and reaches out to touch my forehead.

“Don’t you fucking touch me,” I slap his hand away. “I can’t believe I ever thought that I could have a normal life with Sam,” I say more to myself than Cas. “He says he wants to protect us, but how is he gonna do that?” I’m rambling, and Cas stands to the side watching.

“Crowley was only using you to get to Sam and Dean,” Cas says as if it should give me some sort of comfort.

“You don’t think I know that, Cas?” I snap back. “He told me. I will not allow my daughter to be used as a way to keep Sam and Dean under control. We will not be pawns in whatever game they are playing at. We’re done. I’m done. Two months ago, Sam scared me enough to think he would hurt me intentionally, and now I find out that they are letting people die, just so what? What is so important that they would let that happen? Tell me, Cas,” I demand.

“Sam,” Cas hesitates. “Sam is completing a series of tests, and when they’re completed, it will seal up the gates of Hell. Crowley doesn’t want that; he needs Earth to fuel his deals and keep his demons satisfied. Ever since he found out about the Trials, Crowley has been doing everything he can to stop Sam from finishing them. I don’t know how he found out about you or Cordelia.“

“It doesn’t matter,” I mumble. “He knows, and I’m done with all of you, angels, demons, fucking werewolves, and soul-eaters. If fate was going to bring Sam and me back together, just for this to happen, then fuck fate.”

“Y/N, if I’d have thought that you were in danger, I would’ve been here with you tonight and not allowed Crowley to step through the door.” There’s a sincerity in his voice that I had yet to hear. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you better.”

“You didn’t protect me at all, Cas.” I throw his words back at him. “None of you did. If I would’ve known something like this would happen, I would’ve lied to Sam.” I let my emotions drive my next words. “I’m done with all of it. All of you. Just leave.”

“I am putting up warding around your house. Neither Crowley nor any other demon will not be able to step inside. I am sorry, Y/N, it was never our intention for any harm to come to you.”

“Sure,” I huff, trying to fight back my tears. “I’m supposed to believe you now? After what happened tonight?”

“I give you my word, Y/N. You and Cordelia will be under my protection from now on.”

“Somehow, I don’t find any comfort in that, Cas,” I grumble. “Please, get out of my house.”

“Y/N,” Cas softens his voice; it’s almost soothing. “I will never ignore another prayer from you or Cordelia.”

“I can’t–” I choke out. “Please, go.”

“You are safe now, Y/N. Both of you are safe.” Cas hesitantly nods and reaches out, gently squeezing my shoulder before vanishing with a rush of air.

Next Chapter

Did you love it? Hate it? Feel free to send me any love (or hate) via ask or reblog!

@manawhaat​

@that-one-gay-girl

@awesomesusiebstuff

@mrswhozeewhatsis

@ilovetaquitosmmmm

@suckmyapplejacks

@traceyaudette

[withabackpackandcamera]

September 22nd, 2020

Day 9: The Rainy Road Back to Anchorage

Today was Cynthia’s day. After conquering her most difficult and strenuous hike ever, I promised her that we could do whatever she wanted to do today. So, after we cleaned up the cabin, packed the car, and checked out of our cabin, our first stop was Resurrection Art Coffee House, a cool, trendy, and cozy coffee shop located inside of an old church right off the main road in Seward. Cynthia had found this place online prior to our arrival in Seward and yesterday, while driving around looking for breakfast, we briefly stopped by before deciding on getting food at Safeway. But today, we actually dropped in and hung out in the coffee shop for a couple of hours. 

Lounging in Resurrection Art Coffee House was actually quite nice! Not only was the vibe pretty neat with its inside aesthetics, big space, and the artwork laid out all around the shop, but the pastries and drinks there were delicious too! While Cynthia ordered, I looked around for a seat and luckily found some soon-to-be-open couches next to a large window upstairs that people were about to vacate. It was the perfect place to sit and chill as we ate our super delicious and flavorful blackberry rose vanilla scone and sipped on some hot London Fog. Oh, what a nice, chill, lazy morning. I can see why Cynthia decided to do this after a long day of hiking. Much needed and highly approved.

After we lounged for an hour or two, we decided that it was finally time to move on with the day given that it was already the early afternoon. We drove through Seward and toward Lowell Point because it was an area that I had marked on my map to check out. Originally, the plan was for us to check out the tide pools there but because of how horrible the weather was, we just drove out there to see the area before driving back into Seward. We also tried to see if there was a short walk or hike we could do while there but given how far the hike started from the parking lot and the fact that the weather was crappy and we didn’t pay for parking, we decided not to go for it and just turned around. 

Before leaving Seward for good, we stopped by the downtown one last time to actually stop by and look at some stores during their operating hours instead of after they had closed. We went into a couple of stores and looked around at the different gifts and merchandise they were selling. One store that I really enjoyed going into was The Ranting Raven Gallery, not because the artwork on display and on sale was that cool or anything; rather, it was because the store owner was very nice and we had a great and very informative conversation about the current state of Alaska and everything going on in the state. I always enjoy the opportunities I get to chat with locals and learn about their world from their perspective as I know that most things they enlighten me with are topics that I never would have learned about elsewhere when traveling or when at home. 

After stopping by The Ranting Raven Gallery, we stopped in a few more stores before hitting the road back toward Anchorage. On the way back, we briefly visited Moose Pass, a very small town right off the main highway. It was pretty small and there weren’t too many things to see there. However, what I did end up doing in Moose Pass was walking to the edge of town toward the water where I had previously caught a glimpse of a parked float plane. I walked over, looked at it from a distance, and took a few photos before making my way back to the car. 

Once we left Moose Pass, we drove on toward a small town called Hope, located at the end of a highway that branched off from the main highway. My first task once we got to Hope was to watch some of the Lakers-Nuggets Game 3 since there was cell signal in the area. I watched the game until halftime or so (they were playing pretty poorly, so I got disheartened) before stepping out of the car to explore Main Street in Hope. The old-looking buildings along Main Street seemed like they were preserved from a distant era of time and looked pretty cool. So I walked along the street both looking and appreciating the historic buildings around me. Because there wasn’t much else to see in Hope besides Main Street, I went back to the car, where Cynthia ended up staying, to start the real drive back to Anchorage. 

Because there were some very dynamic cloudy scenes on the way back, I took a couple of opportunities to get out of the car again to snap some quick photos before booking it back to Anchorage because it was getting darker quickly. During this drive, the rain started to come down again and continued until we were essentially back in Anchorage. It was one of the rainier drives we’ve had this entire trip. Once we had arrived back in Anchorage, we stopped by Spenard Roadhouse for dinner before dropping off our car at Enterprise. At Spenard, we ordered their Baby Back Ribs and Korean Tofu Rice Bowl. The food was great and we really enjoyed what we ordered. And because we had some leftovers (common theme this trip), we were able to take that home to enjoy later. 

The last task of the night was to return the rental car since we didn’t need it for our last day in Alaska. We returned the car and key and then took a Lyft to The Voyager Inn in downtown Anchorage where we checked in for our last night in Alaska. Because it was getting late, we decided to take it easy and rest in our large hotel room rather than do any night explorations, instead holding that off until tomorrow because we had the entire day to explore Anchorage. . 

5 Things I Learned/Observed Today:

1. Chugach National Forest is humongous and is the second largest national forest in the country. As you drive through south-central Alaska, you repeatedly see signs for the national forest everywhere! Supposedly, it is larger than the state of New Hampshire (at around 5.4 million acres) and is the furthest north and west of the country’s national forests. Because it is so far north, about 30% of the forest is covered in ice. 

2. Resurrection Bay is a fjord. I love fjords. They look so cool! But are hard to capture on camera...

3. The town of Seward was named after Secretary of State William Seward because he helped with the purchase of Alaska from Russia in 1867. Its population is around 3000 people as of the last census in 2010. Because of the Gulf of Alaska nearby, despite having a subarctic climate, the Seward area has more moderate temperatures than would be expected. And Seward’s economy, as you can guess based on its location, is driven mostly by commercial fishing and seasonal tourism with many businesses closing shop after the summer peak season, just as we saw and experienced.  

4. After talking to a local shop owner in Seward, here is what I learned (from her perspective): Supposedly, the Alaskan governor is a “Trump Wannabe”. Essentially, that meant he was doing a terrible job and making decisions that would likely benefit a certain group of people that didn’t need more benefits and not helping out those people that actually make up the entirety of the state’s population. In one example, the governor supposedly made a decision to dig deep into the Alaskan Permanent Fund Dividend to give too much money to people who didn’t necessarily need it, thus depleting the fund’s money that could otherwise have played a vital role in financing more important tasks and projects like strengthening Alaska’s infrastructure, fixing Alaska’s roads, and funding higher education. 

5. Apparently, there has been a long, ongoing battle between locals and the government/private companies (in this case, the Pebble Mine Company) for the rights to dig for gold and copper at the mouth of a river where big salmon runs happen annually. As you can see there, there’s a very clear dilemma. And because of how corrupt the higher-ups are in Alaska and in the company, the conclusive decision about whether to dig or not has been crawling closer and closer to benefiting the private companies who want to get richer. That is, until recently, when video and audio leaked out revealing how corrupt and horrible the executives at Pebble Mine were. For more information, check out this article: https://www.cnn.com/2020/09/25/politics/alaska-pebble-mine-executives-legislators/index.html