#cycle of hatred

[actualadvocacybruh]

One of the reasons why the rad fem idiots annoy me is because they are causing harm to women

When a young man is looking for answers to why he is alienated from society and feels attacked the last thing you should do is show him he is being attacked and tell him he is the problem cause he was born and thus evil

Cause that is when the red pillars, misogynists, incels and Nazis come running to recruit and they tell that young man that it’s not his fault it’s the females fault and he grows to hate just as much as the rad fems hate and now another angry young man is gonna harm some innocent woman cause he believes that is how he can survive in a world that he can’t find a place in anymore

You feel better about yourself when you tell these kids to kill themsleves or insist they should be shot but you never think of the long term consequences of these actions and it’s causing real life harm to actual women who due to no fault of their own now have to worry about angry men who turned to Andrew Tate or Matt Walsh cause they were willing to listen to said young man and they made him hate instead of teaching him some empathy and understanding

So they aren’t feminists nor do they care about women or girls being abused as they perpetuate a cycle of violence and hatred that caused real harm to people that want no part in their bitter bs

People arent born evil they become evil due to societal circumstances and if some young person is coming to you looking for answers you shouldn’t attack them, you should educate them and show them that society is bad right now but if we work together in a united front we can change it for the better and end this alienating and cold hearted system that seeks to break people down and grind up their spirit

[archangels-bible-annotations]

Chapter 34

34:1-4 Shechem, the son of Hamor, saw Dinah attractive and raped her. His "soul was strongly attracted" and he asked his father to get her as a wife.

34:5 Jacob was told of Dinah's defilement but held his cool until his sons returned from the field.

34:6-7 Hamor starts his trip to Jacob. The sons come back from the field. When they heard the news, they were "stunned and extremely grieved."

34:8-10 Hamor asks Jacob for Dinah's hand for his Shechem and suggests that the two families join in marriage.

34:11-12 Shechem seeks grace from their family and states for them to make the dowry however great to have Dinah as wife.

34:13-17 "The sons of Jacob...spoke deceitfully to" Hamor and Shechem because of Shechem's actions. Simeon and Levi (sons of Leah) demand every male from Shechem's city to be circumcised if they are to bridge the families.

34:18-24 Hamor and Shechem return to their city and ask all of their males to be circumcised for the sake of Shechem and the city to combine with that of Jacob.

34:25-29 Simeon and Levi took advantage of the weakness of all Shechem's men and killed all the men of their city, including Hamor and Shechem. After this, they plundered the city, taking all cattle, women, children, and other assets.

34:30-31 Jacob rejects the actions of Simeon and Levi, stating that now Jacob has become an object of hatred among the inhabitants of the land (Canaanites and Peizzites). Jacob also fears that since he is fewer in number, the others will team up and destroy everything he has. Simeon and Levi reply, "Should he treat our sister like a prostitute?'

Other Remarks:

When two people get intimate with each other, they form a soul tie as you give part of yourself to your partner. When an individual decides to sleep around, they leave parts of them everywhere they go. As this continues, the person becomes broken on the inside as they no longer have 'all' of their soul together when the other individuals leave. This is partly why it is important to not sleep with a great number of people, just so you can fulfill the desires of the flesh. (v.1-4)

Shechem creates a soul tie with Dinah, thus why he wants her as wife. Due to his behavior, this might be interpreted as not the first time he has taken advantage of a woman. However, if it was the first time, it would make sense as to why he felt so attracted to Dinah. (v.1-4)

Jacob hears his daughter was raped and holds "his peace." This is a great deal of self-control. (v.5)

Sex without marriage has been seen in the Bible before, such as Abraham and his concubines or Jacob with the maidservants. Dinah is the first individual case of non-consensual intercourse in the Bible, and it is heavily frowned upon. It also seems the background of the individual involved is significant, for those unnamed in the Bible, intimacy without marriage is not given too much attention; however, for those from important families, such as Jacob, there is serious consideration. (v.6-7)

Simeon and Levi demand the males to be circumcised. As we read before, circumcision is the sign of the covenant between man and God, thus in this request they are attempting to convert Shechem and his people to the God of Abraham. (v.13-17)

Simeon and Levi's actions to kill and plunder the city of Shechem were founded on the principle of revenge for their sister. Previously in the Bible, we have seen God not finding favor in revenge, namely in how He dealt with Cain. Thus it can be reasonably assumed that this is not an acceptable action, even if injustice was done to the family of Jacob first. (v.25-29)

Of the family, Jacob has been blessed, indicating the actions of Jacob are ordained. Jacob never wishes for revenge and rejects the actions of his sons. He also tells them about the consequences of their actions as now the others of the land will treat Jacob as an enemy. The two parties, Jacob and his sons, view this issue from different perspectives. Jacob applies long-term logic and potentially the goodness of God in his decisions, while Simeon and Levi take a more worldly "eye for eye" approach. Jacob's response teaches us that although our families and we might be troubled, it is important to view the situation with forgiveness, grace, and mercy, making sure to control our anger so it not turn into wrath. (v.30-31)

This story summarizes the circle of hatred. With one action of unjust intense passion by Shechem, Simeon and Levi turn to destroy their livelihood. But the actions of Simeon and Levi cause repercussions on a different level, implicating a future action against them. This cycle often repeats until a deliberate action to stop the cycle takes place. To stop this cycle, the person initiating this change is faced with bearing the burden of the cycle up to that point, while the others who have indulged in the cycle have gotten to partly release their emotions through revenge.

The OSB highlights the attraction Shechem had for Dinah was not true love but rather a sinful passion, lust. (v.8)

The OSB highlights that Simeon and Levi repaid evil with evil and the punishment they gave outweighed the sins of the crime. This leads Simeon and Levi to be "worse sinners" than Shechem. (v.31)

Questions:

Things to Add to Prayer:

Like Jacob, help us to control our anger preventing wrath, keeping in mind Your plan over all of our troubles.

Help us to control our passions so they not take over us.

-Mikhael

[whimsicalsesquipedalian]

Y’all I’m literally never going to be okay about Simon and Betty.

Simon realising that their whole relationship he hadn’t been examining why Betty always followed him because he was too focused on his love for her and not what she really needed. Not what they both really needed.

The devastating parallel of Betty being so blindly in love with Simon that she willingly and unthinkingly always put him first. And Simon being so blindingly in love with Betty that he saw her being happy and so never thought to fucking question whether those were the right decisions to make. Enabling them every time because they were in love and that was what she wanted, right? She wanted to be with him. She loved him. She was happy. So why would he think it should be any different?

And Betty reassuring Simon that she made her own choices. That he didn’t hold her anywhere. That he never forced her to be with him, or put him first. That she made those decisions and that she didn’t have any regrets. But that they both had to let this go because as long as they were focused on each other neither of them were ever going to be able to have the life they needed.

That they had both been trapped for so long carving pieces of themselves out for other people. Betty in her blind devotion when it came to Simon. Simon in his belief that his crimes as the Ice King, and that all the ways he had let down Betty, meant the only purpose and worth he could have was in sacrificing himself for others.

That they both deserved self-possession and the ability to find autonomy and actualisation as individuals. That they deserved to make their own choices, the good and the bad, and just live without the blind devotion, and guilt, and sacrifice that was going to trap them in this loop forever.

That they meant everything to each other, but that now they needed to mean everything to themselves. That the only way forward was on different paths, but that they both deserved that. That they were able to show each other that they deserved that.

That Simon gets to live now.

I will never be okay about this show. Or these two.

[landoffreaksandfrogs]

do you ever remember the embarrassing thing you said in your past life and your brain crinkles like a piece of paper

[remember-to-be-gentle]

Inspired by this tumblr post by @hawnks 

Subject: JJK, Satoru Gojo

Title: Hate Me Tomorrow (Omega!Gojo x GN Alpha!Reader)

Trigger Warning: Dub con, omega verse, scenting, size difference, biting/marking, obsessive/toxic behavior, self-hatred, knotting, knot riding, begging, heat/mating cycles, grinding 

The sweet, musky scent of Gojo's cologne and sweat enveloped you. Even the giant stuffed beta fish you were snuggling had no scent but his. His pillow fort was surprisingly spacious, granted, Gojo was nearly twice your size so there was a lot of him to fit. But being in here with him was nearly suffocating, and not just because of the light whiffs of omega scent rolling off of him or because he'd practically ripped off your jacket to snuggle into. 

He'd called you suddenly, saying that he needed to spend time with someone. It made sense. Geto just died and there were only so many people who were willing to pick up the phone for Gojo, and even fewer he'd actually call. Especially when it was a secret he was an omega, pretending to be an alpha and you were an alpha pretending to be a beta. 

The two of you were decent friends, hanging out after teaching at Jujutsu Tech for a drink or a quick round of gossip. He was one of the few people who knew you were an alpha and he an omega, an unusual kinship formed but it was never anything more. More importantly, you knew about his relationship with Geto. You couldn't say no. 

Which was why your thigh was snug against his, smartphone balanced on your knee, his favorite plushie shoved into your arms. His head on your shoulder breathes fast but not uneven. It seemed like he was trying not to cry. Poor guy. The winter fashion review didn't seem to be helping him calm down at all. Nor any work gossip. You wanted to stay and help, but it was getting late. If he really wanted to, he could just pin you down, sometimes that thought scared you.

Gojo curled onto his side, struggling closer to you, your jacket wrapped in his hands like a security blanket. 

It felt wrong to leave, but you needed to take care of yourself, too. "Hey, bud, I need to get going. Are you going to be alright by yourself?" 

Gojo buried his face in your neck, silent. He leaned his weight into you, just enough to make it clear he didn't want to be alone. 

Fuck. "I'm sorry. I'll come first thing tomorrow. We'll call out from work and go to the city or--" 

His teeth scraped your neck. Possessive, dominant. Alpha behavior. Before you knew what was happening, he was ripping off your scent suppressor, inhaling like he hadn't been breathing for hours. Alpha pheromones leaked from your skin, invading your nose. "Gojo?" 

Your stomach turned as your instincts awakened, the need to comfort an omega struggling with your own needs for autonomy. Your fingers dug into the beta fish plushie, filled with his scent. 

He reached for his own scent blocker and you suddenly realized what was going on. With his neck practically right under your nose, his omega scent was free. And not just that, he was going into heat. The pillow fort was a nest and this was a trap. Gojo was primed to breed and he was going to use you to fuck away his pain. "This isn't healthy, Gojo, listen to me!" 

But his patch was already off and the omega scent of him in your lungs, filling you, lighting every nerve on fire. Your cock swelled under your clothes, reacting to his breedable scent with vigor. 

Gently, Gojo took the plush and pushed you onto your back, yanking off his pants as his pale face filled with color. His bandages were already slipping, the iridescent shine of his six eyes laser-focused on the swelling at your crotch. He crawled on top of you, already tugging off his shirt. "Just for today, please." He panted, his thin but muscular chest heaving as if just sitting here breathing was a near-impossible task. 

His weight lowered onto your cock and you gasped, feeling his wetness through your clothes. His heat was so pleasant, feverish but warm, empty, and yearning. Blood pulsed lower and you gulped. 

Slowly, Gojo rocked back and forth, moaning loudly each time your shaft met his clit. His back arched, nipples swollen and pink, and standing at attention. "Please," he begged. "Just me just for tonight. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please, ah, Y/N. Please, I wanna cum. Let me have it inside me." 

It was getting harder and harder to think straight. He felt so good, the need to fill him up, let him fuck himself stupid on your cock growing. It would be better if you let him, a voice whispered. Another said, it's what you were made for. Just let him. 

"Gojo," you gasped. You reached for him, tried to make him stop so you could think, but his fingers intertwined with yours and he was moving faster now, his breathy moans coming faster. His skin was so soft and warm, filling you with his heat until you thought you might burst. Blood pulsed in your cock, his pussy was sucking at you through your clothing. He wanted you so badly. You wanted... What did you want to do again? You had to leave but why? 

"Y/N, I'm cumming." His hips rocked faster, tummy rolling with downy white hair covered in sparkling slick. "I'm cumming on your alpha cock." He let go of your hands to lay across your stomach, his head buried in your neck to take in your scent, his own making your head spin as pleasure threatened to burst out of your cock. His teeth met your skin, nibbling and biting gently then hard enough to bruise until he let out a long, throaty groan as he came. 

Instantly, your clothes were soaked, his hot slick smothered on your member. If you weren't fully erect before, you were now. 

Still panting, Gojo lifted himself up just enough to tug your cock free from your clothing. He didn't wait, spreading his pussy with his fingers as he sank down on your tip. Slick gushed down your shaft as he cried out, swallowing your swollen head into his heat. You bit back a groan, fingers digging into the blankets making up the fort. 

"You feel so big," Gojo moaned. "So good. I've only done this with Geto, so I'm going to have to start slow." He sank a little further, impossibly tight and hot and wet. "Feels so good," he huffed, rolling his hips and finally, sinking all the way down your shaft.

Your knot throbbed, seeming to sense that an omega was speared on your length. 

Gojo humped himself on your cock, needy moans slipping from his mouth each time his hips met yours. "Feels so good, Y/N. I've only felt Geto like this before." 

Before you could respond he pulled back to his full height, six eyes glowing in the warm darkness of the pillow fort. He spread his lower lips as he lifted himself up, clear slick drooling from his hole. His pretty, pink, clit a shining pearl at the apex of his thighs. "You did this to me. Look how wet you made me." Slowly, Gojo slid back down, pushing the head of your cock against his cervix. Again, he kept himself exposed and rose up, only to slurp your length right back down to the knot, aiming this time higher, into something spongy and mouth-wateringly soft.

"G-Gojo, I know you miss him but you can't--" 

He raised himself up and dropped down, knocking a groan from you both. "I think about him a lot," Gojo panted. "About how empty he left me. In my soul. In my body. So please, let me fix one of those. Just for now. It's okay if you hate me, but I need you now more than I've needed anyone." 

Gojo whined, flushed and excited. "Right there." He slammed back down on you with a stomach-churning squelch right into that soft sweet spot. "So good." He was riding you now, using you like a dildo to get himself off, his delicate fingers rolling his clit in circles. You couldn't take your eyes off him. "I want you to cum inside me, okay? Fill me up with your seed. Help me feel less empty." 

Pleasure gathered deep inside you, begging to come out as your knot swelled. Shit. You shouldn't. He was your coworker, your friend. But omegas needed alpha seed, he needed reprieve from his heat and you were the only one he could call--because the person he really wanted was dead. 

That thought shattered your high, grounding you back in the moment. "Gojo, I know you're still mourning Geto, but this isn't healthy for you." 

Gojo settled on your stomach, chest heaving. His hands snuck under your shirt, impossibly soft and warm in your skin. Your cock twitched inside him, wanting him to squeeze and milk you dry but that wasn't what a good friend would let him do. 

"I killed him, you know." His hands curled into fists by your hips. "He left me after taking my virginity and when he came back, I killed him on Christmas Eve because he didn't give me another choice. I'm awful, aren't I? Shoko hates me. She won't say it but I know she does. I hate me, too." The blue of his eyes shone as tears gathered, threatening to fall down his red flushed cheeks. 

"Shoko doesn't hate you." You said soothingly. You sat up, so much smaller than him, and ran your hands through his hair. "It was an impossible situation, we all think you did the right thing. We--" 

He didn't let you finish your thought. Gojo grabbed you by your shirt and slammed his mouth onto yours, his tongue filling you as if he could make you swallow every hateful thing he'd ever thought about himself. "If you don't hate me," he breathed against your lips, his spit wet and warm as it dribbled down your chin, "then cum inside me." He rolled his hips, reigniting the electric pleasure in your core. "Please. You can hate me tomorrow, but right now, I can't let you go." 

The pulsing softness of his pussy contracted, squeezing you so tightly you thought you might burst. You gasped for breath when Gojo released you and then did it again. You wanted to move. You wanted to stop. You wanted... 

Gojo pulled down the front of your shirt, rolling his hips roughly, chasing his end against your cock. He bit your chest, hard enough to bruise, marking you like an alpha. And that was enough to come undone. 

You exploded inside of him, eyes rolling back as your core emptied against his sweet spot. Your hips rolled up into his and you shivered as you felt your knot pop into his pussy, slick sliding down your thighs and onto the blankets. 

You struggled to breathe as Gojo laid himself on top of you, breathing fast. He rocked his hips against your knot, already trying to drag another orgasm out of himself. His arms slid under your back, pulling your chest to his. "You're all I have now, Y/N," he whispered, "so please, don't leave.”

[uncanny-tranny]

Whenever people who are entrenched in diet culture talk about how terrible chemicals are, I just want to whip out this:

[cyber-neon-at-night]

Literally

I cannot get over just hoW GREAT HAZBIN HOTEL IS!!!!

(Spoilers for episode 4)

Can i just say how much I loved the "Loser Baby" song duet between Husk and Angel like omllll

I'm a loser, honey~

A schmoozer and a dummy~

Just some quick thoughts like, I loved how it was a subversion of the sort of disney-esque 'cheer-up' song if you get what i mean. It starts off all slow and clearly leading up to something and then BAM!

You've lost your way,

You think your life's been wrecked,

Well, let me just say you're

Correct~

Angel: *shocked pikachu face*

I also just really love the message behind it and how instead of it being some traditional message about simply realizing how Great Your Life Is, Actually, the song is about validating your feelings on how much your life *does* suck, but you don't have to go through it alone.

Actually I just realized the whole song is basically just "Stop thinking you're special". I get how some people see that as a bad message (at first) considering what Angel goes through, but like, him staying in that mindset of "No one knows what I'm going through, No one else knows what it's like to be me, etc." would not be good for him at all. Isolation is never the answer to your problems, just so you know.

I've already seen people be like, "Husk is calling Angel a crybaby and to just get over his trauma because its hell and everyone's life sucks" and they almost(?) get it, but the point just went and flew over their heads i guess.

To be clear, the point is that Husk calls Angel a loser bc people, especially very hurt people, need to break their cycle of self-loathing somehow. And sometimes, sometimes, people need to hear that they are, in fact, a loser.

But that's okay.

Because a lot of other people are too.

You just need to find the other losers out there and connect w/ them instead of sentencing yourself to isolation bc you think your pain is special and unique.

The message isn't "You're not special dickhead lmao" its actually "You're not alone in this."

[mc-tummy-blur]

Wait wait wait Nimona was trying to build a connection with Gloreth after being rejected by animals and Gloreth was accepting of her despite being a shape-shifter but Nimona was seen as a monster by the village which then made Gloreth switch her opinions because her parents and the village told her that Nimona was a monster and tried to kill her then 1000 years later Ballister ended up building a connection with Ambrosius a descendant of Golreth and after being rejected by the knights throughout his whole life basically since training started young Ambrosius was accepting of him despite being a commoner but then he was seen as a murderer by the town which had made Ambrosius changed his opinion on him because of what he had seen and what the knights/Director were telling him but unlike Gloreth who while was reluctant at first to treat Nimona as a monster but then gave into hating her and wanting her to die like the people around her did Ambrosius had been reluctant throughout the whole ordeal but in the end stayed committed to Ballister because he loved him despite what everyone else was saying about him and its like the movie was already drawing parallels to how Ballister and Nimona were the same and viewed as outcasts/monsters/murderers but there's notable parallels to Gloreth and Ambrosius in how they were people close to Nimona and Ballister and it came to a point where they had to go against them but the key difference in what happened was the side they chose and the aftermath when they were being forced to chose a side and it really showcases how their generations were different thus their mindsets were different in handling the situation and its just exactly like in real life when it comes to queer people like people especially children can be conditioned to hate queer people with enough fear mongering/hate speech and that's exactly what happened with Gloreth in how she ended up treating Nimona and it was going to happen with Ambrosius but a saving grace was that he was much older so it was harder to change his opinions on Ballister that and he is in a different time period than Gloreth showing how things had drastically changed and advanced in many areas and i feel that the whole point with the parallel between Gloreth and Ambrosius is that times have changed and how even though our past generations have treated queer people like they are monsters and that we should hate them when in reality its not too late for our generation to treat them like equals and that we should love them like holy shit this movie is so insanely and unapologetically queer in so many ways that I did not imagine was humanly possible

[calamitoustide]

Untitled

the grudge - olivia rodrigo/'Infinite Jest' -David Foster Wallace/unknown/unknown/The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - Taylor Swift/Unknown/Unknown/Cool About It - Boygenius/The Grudge - Olivia Rodrigo/The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived- Taylor Swift/@firstfullmoon/Unknown/The Grudge - Olivia Rodrigo/Letter To An Old Poet - Boygenius/unknown/unknown/The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - Taylor Swift/fatima aamer bilal/The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - Taylor Swift/Unknown/Unknown/The Grudge - Olivia Rodrigo

[spacenintendogs]

the cycle

30 days of wolfox: day 11

[mightnotfeelrealbutitsok]

The debate about whether it is Men who are worse off because they die, they’re sundered from their home and kin and have their opportunity for pleasure limited, or Elves who are worse off because they never die, they must stay in the world no matter how much they tire of it and despite whatever ruin it might fall into, has me like aghhhhdhfkcksoad

[vampire-rodeo]

d’y’all ever have that one friend that lowkey you hate and lowkey you love. can’t go a week without infuriating each other but also yall are the only people who can truly relate to one another and say things that the other has been trying to put into words their whole life. sometimes getting so close and feel so connected that in a romance-centered society it almost feels like a romantic crush, even if it’s just a non-romantic magnetic pull to each other, you almost convence yourself you like the other person… just to go back to hating them other ten more minutes later. sometimes getting so close to actually quite literally blocking each other. toxic yuri cycle of death and rebirth. stuck together only by mutual friends that can’t know how much y’all secretly despise one another? and even then, will never understand how much y’all understand each other?

yeah i don’t have that either but Spock and McCoy do and I think that’s the basis of their relationship.

[madforhoran]

i'm not crying, you're crying

[karamazovanon]

i think the recurring theme of dostoevsky's that will always destroy me the most is when despite how much a character wishes and yearns for it, they continuously refuse pure and unconditional love when it's offered because they don't think they're worthy of it (and then hate themselves even more for turning it down). it will ruin me EVERY TIME

[yellowocaballero]

obito fic 👀?

HELL YEAH BABY. HELL YEAH. I HAVE JUST POSTED THE 70K OBITO FIC GO READ IT.

Naruto. Man. Very treasured aspect of my childhood. I've written a few fics now that are about an influential childhood media or character, and they always have such a unique quality about them. But I love my BAMF!Sakura fics so much. You Call This A Utopia is for her.

I talk a little bit about the specialness of that useless little girl in the author's note, but #justiceforSakura has always compelled me - on one level, just such wasted potential as a character, but on another level, it was one of my very early frustrations with sexism in writing. I wanted to live vicariously through her, to use her as a self-insert power fantasy like all the boys got to do with all the male Naruto characters, but even if she's a chakra master (!) and genius doctor (!!) who can wreck mountains with her fists (!!!) she was never quite able to make the tween girl readers feel special, because she was never valued. BAMF!Sakura fics were how I was able to have my little kid power fantasies in my favorite good-bad shonen. Today, if I'm reading BAMF!Sakura fic I am spiritually watching Saturday morning cartoons and eating sugar cereal and crying.

I didn't have very strong feelings Obito until I read butter_peanut and realized that one could hypothetically make him the most fascinating fucking character. Naruto fic writers are so creative and magnificent and better than Naruto. I do vaguely remember Tobi being my favorite Akatsuki character, because he had so much personality and was a lot of fun after Naruto got kinda serious. butter_peanut having Tobi say the word "bestie" truly inspired me. After writing him I now understand them completely, because I have happened to discover that he is the funnest fucking character.

I feel insane. Like a precious few people know and understand that Obito is so much fun to write. I love writing insane people and we know this but Obito is truly on another level (he is a villain in Naruto and you cannot match that level in any other fucking series). He is genuinely so unhinged and he genuinely believes that he is a normal person. He is so fundamentally broken and it is so funny.

What caught me about Naruto villains - because this is Naruto, it is interesting in theory and so stupid in practice - is that they are almost all, fundamentally, good people. The goal of most Naruto villains is "create a better world with no war and only love and peace". Which means that you have to be a special kind of nuts to be a Naruto villain, because you are a good person who got so incredibly fucked up and twisted by your incredibly violent life that you are now an evil schemer who is trying to blow up half the continent. The evil in Naruto is on a systemic level, not a person one. You Call This A Utopia?! is fundamentally about this. Except stupid.

Tobi is also one of the most challenging but rewarding characters I've written. FUN FUN FUN. Lots more to say about literally all of this. For now I'll just say that I'm an adult, so these days I gravitate to adult POVs. Obito is the adult's window into a kid's world. But Obito is honestly an overgrown kid himself. Let's see how that all plays out.

[butch-with-a-deep-voice]

I’ve always wondered why stone butches are exclusively a lesbian thing (as far as I know). Like, you never hear about gay men where one doesn’t want to be touched sexually, so it’s not a gay thing. You don’t hear of straight couples where that’s a thing either, so it’s not a woman thing.

The only reasons I can think of are that women have more sexual baggage and feel more vulnerable (and are less horny than men generally), so it’s unlikely a man would want this. And then on top of that a man in a straight relationship is unlikely to tolerate his girlfriend not wanting her genitals to be touched ever, so a straight woman who felt like this would probably just be single. But then again, I’m sure there are men who would be happy to be sucked off by women during casual sex with no reciprocation - and I’ve never heard of that either!

But are there other reasons do you think? Is it butch women having hang ups about their female genitals being touched, or about feeling vulnerable to a partner because they are masculine as a woman?

I find this so interesting to think about.

While I can see where this line of thinking comes, from I would like to challenge it for a couple of reasons.

The first being that stone lesbians have a long historical association with the term. For many of us, our stone-ness stems from trauma and that cannot be separated from it. The identities, what they connote, and the safety they bring to the lesbian community can never be devalued or disassociated. And I am specifically talking stone. Both top and bottom, butch and femme. This isn't a hang up about "female genitals". I have classically "male" genitals and still identify as a stone butch. Stone comes from a collective understanding of our needs, and how factors in our life made us not okay with certain things being done to us, and saying "yeah, those needs are okay actually. That's desirable. I'm not broken." So firstly anon, I'd like you to ask yourself where your perceptions of stone stem from.

Secondly though, while I can see where you're coming from, I really want to challenge the notion of men not wanting these things. Of men always wanted to be touched, wanting sexual attention. This speaks to a deep issue of stigmatization/generalization of male sexuality. As horn dogs. As sexually hungry machines. I challenge the idea that there aren't men who don't want acts associated with stone tops/bottoms because I know men personally who do. I know men who are sex repulsed. I know men who only ever want to eat their cishet girlfriend out, top her, and focus on her, never once asking for reciprocation. I know men who have that classic "infinite libido" of male hood but are the biggest power bottoms on the planet and would rather eat glass before topping someone because it makes them feel dysphoric. Makes them feel wrong.

As for "women are less horny than men", have you seen lesbian tumblr? Have you seen booktok? Some of us are SHAMELESS. Feminine libido has nigh on infinite potential for some and it is a beautiful thing that should never ever be swept under the rug with a generalization like that. Men are expected to have limitless libido and this too must be challenged. Growing up male, before coming out as trans, it was an extreme source of shame that my sexuality didn't align with the other boys. That I didn't experience sexuality the same. I got bullied incessantly for not being a sexual deviant, and I wasn't the only one. This idea of the ever-hungry masculine directly attributes to toxic masculinity and ideas perpetuated by patriarchal relationship standards.

Part of how I think collectively we can evolve and heal our understanding of sexuality and healthy sexual practices is understanding your needs intimately, regardless of gender or sexuality. Learning how to effectively communicate those needs, and subsequently accepting when others have their own needs (including when they don't align with yours, not everyone is compatible and that's okay). Just like how a classic stone4stone relationship seems to be what will be my ultimate ideal match-up, everyone's needs deserve to be met and honored by a partner with needs that align with theirs.

Stone top/bottom, stone butch/femme are incredibly unique and important identities within the lesbian community. Claiming stone for myself has helped heal years and years of shame and trauma around my sexuality that I never thought possible to heal. Those terms I can argue stay in the lesbian community for the various historical and cultural implications. But I also really do need to stress how much we should accept the experiences associated with stone being applicable to everyone, even if the terminology may not be.