#cw sui idea

[emcant]

I'm really tired. My second job started this week and I'm about out of brainpower, and I have to be up in 7 hours for hurry-up-and-wait work. Please bear with me for some Genuine Blogging; I don't know where I'm going yet but it's eking its way out.

For the sake of your mentally ill loved ones, please don't take me at my word for this... but now that I'm medicated safely against my intrusive thoughts, they seem to be replaced with art concept ideas that come through with the same force. I'm beginning to realize that they used to, too - but I'd get 5 "KYS! :D" to one "Wouldn't it be cool if I made...". Same force behind them, yes. Same source feels pretty unlikely, but I definitely don't know enough about it to speak with any authority.

I've been having panic attacks around making original things for as long as I can remember. The urge always strikes under similar circumstances to this moment: half asleep but with an overwhelming, almost painful need to get it out NOW. Living with any of my parents, I would make it and tremble, scared of... showing effort in the wrong ways, I guess. Somehow having a usually very innocuous secret. I spent years drabbling out short fairy tales and self insert (G rated!) LotR fics and destroying them immediately for shame. I don't know why. Same with a fair number of particularly weird or edgy yarn projects, though I was slightly older then and mostly just wanted to see if my original techniques would work.

Of course, in an inherently toxic household, Being Weird is forbidden. I guess that's where I was trying to go with this. And more often than not, when I do get deep into making something, the signs of the inherently toxic household jump right out. Yet another thing from my childhood where I get it, but man, I'm pissed.

In the space between this weekend and now, I

got those handmade beads out to my friend, who was quite literally overjoyed. She knew just what to do to correct my technique. We got to talking about the future... and now I'm a casual supplier for a casual jeweler.

watched the utterly magnificent Jack Stauber's Opal three times including a frame by frame. Mercy! Every time I see stop motion animation, it makes me feel like I've lived my life wrong - like THAT was supposed to be it for me. I'm almost positive I don't have the attention span for it... but I've also never tried it.

became aware of Nimona taking off. Good for Gingerhaze! I was here when they were first coming up, too. We're about the same age, and built very differently. I wish I had any percent of their confidence; it seems extremely alien to me.

My high school didn't have a healthy arts program, and it never occurred to me as something to pursue. I'm really strong in English and wanted to get creative there - but performing on the spot is definitely not for me. I know it's not too late for me to get into fine arts (thank goodness for that one friend, fr) but I wish I had any kind of leg up instead of just floundering around like I have been.

Still. Progress this week.

[niinnyu]

Bodies and Souls - part 1/2

Part 2

[synthshenanigans]

You Sound Like Louis Burdett is a banger song I wish it was real 💔 [looking at you spotify]

skeleton-less & textless versions ✨ wahoo ✨

[k1ttygam3r]

Heard about the plot of the new Helluva Boss episode and I’m just sitting outside, enjoying the sun and listening to the birdsong, wondering how you fuck up a show that badly

[sslowdeathh]

✦ Aiko Tanaka (Oyasumi Punpun) ;

Names, pronouns, and titles. Requested by anonymous. Suicide mention under the cut.

We struggled with this one, so please forgive us if these don't fit the character :,(

✦✦✦ Names ;

Lovie. Joy. Mallory. Dáinn. Eros. Adore. Rose. Sade. Éta[í]n. Bécuma. Alas. Derdriu. Líadan. Nienor. Ciarán. Mara. Naenia. Amor[a]. Caress. Dýrunn. Cessair. Lilith. Éada. Cain. Cér. Killian. Máel. Lorelei. Manea. Donn. Merripen.

✦✦✦ Pronouns ;

Love loves. Sor sorrow. Unfor unfortunate. Luv luvr. Cu cult. Ha hate hatred. Heart heart. Pity pities. Love sick. Lovesick lovesicks. Re remorse. Ad adore. Greif grieves. Satisfy satisfied.

✦✦✦ Titles ;

The lovestruck. The loverboy / lovergirl. Her yearning for understanding. The regretful one. The girl that died. The girl that took her life. The temporary model. The lifeless one. Her fear of abandonment. The misunderstood one. The unknown girl.

she her, girl / one, or any other term can be replaced or removed

[kaialone]

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[facelessfinest]

I came up with a plot for a second Ghost Trick game/ Post-Canon AU. Spoilers for the game, obviously.

The day Yomiel is released from prison, he finds out that Sissel (The woman) has been kidnapped as part of another attempt by the foreign country to erase all the people who know about temsik. Sissel knows about temsik because Yomiel told her in his letters from jail.

With help from the cast of the original game, he tries to find her. When the team tries to confront whoever the country sent to come after them, it turns out to be…Yomiel. Again.

There’s a lot of distrust and confusion, but eventually they find out that there is a ghost who can copy the powers of anyone previously touched by the temsik meteorite, even if their death was erased. Yomiel, as the manipulator, obviously has some of the most useful abilities.

To create a ghost who could use such abilities however, the foreign country killed a lot of animals and people. In order to try and save them, yomiel kills himself in the presence of the meteor fragment in order to regain his ghost tricks. Sissel (the cat) begged him not to, because he wouldn’t be able to come back unless Sissel died as well, and Yomiel had made him promise he wouldn’t do that.

The new manipulator turns out to be a ferret named Fromm who was tricked into thinking he was Yomiel after he died. He can use any ghosts abilities he likes, but he experiences amnesia when switching between them, which is why he does it very infrequently and is very vulnerable when he does, besides, he’s must useful to the foreign country when he thinks he is Yomiel. It comes to light that the foreign country killed Sissel (the woman) to make Fromm believe the detective team had done it, in order to influence him to do the countries bidding. Yomiel finds out his fiancé is dead and goes into a rage and disappears, leading Sissel to give up his life to find him. They team up to get Sissel (the woman) back, and free all the ghosts the foreign country made in order to give Fromm all his abilities, as well as to free Fromm too. The others think he might be too far gone, but Sissel (the cat) insists that can’t be the case, and cites Yomiel as proof. Yomiel has mixed feelings, he knows Fromm is experiencing the same thing he once did, but the loss of his wife after 10 years of trying to get over her death, and another 10 years in prison waiting to see her again weigh on him heavily and alter his judgement.

Yomiel has to learn how to connect with people who haven’t been to the ghost world in order to speak with everyone, along with other new abilities.

[rainydews]

do you have any ideas on the bad end, good end, and neutral end of your omari au?

i haven't come up with much for a bad/neutral ending yet, but here's some doodles i did for a good ending :]

[itzrafee]

SPOILERS for The Sandman comic book series. All of it. Especially the ending. Okay spoiler alert over.

And a content warning about suicide.

I'm not into the fandom of Sandman so I don't know if Gaiman addressed this or if this is a widely held thought but from the incredibly affecting day I finished it so long ago, I've always held the belief that the series is essentially Morpheus's suicide note. Essentially, it being a series of him wrapping up his affairs as he orchestrated his death. I remember reading the quote from Gaiman, "“The Lord of Dreams learns that one must change or die, and makes his decision." and then realizing his actions in a purposeful way, lead to his death. He set it all up. I know he says he didn't but how else can you see his actions? He even finds his own successor. He comes back out into a dreamless world that could use him more than ever and he's tired. He's playing catch-up and barely keeping up. And his devotion to his duty doesn't let him rest. He sees the need and knows he can't fill it. He can't meet the change. He tells his sister as much. And his constant orbit around his sister shows him everything he can't be. And the opportunity that lies there.

But that's not what The Sandman is about, it's just what it is. What I find the most interesting is when the Dreams of Morpheus come together with Stories that are a result of those Dreams. And how Death wraps those two up in her arms. They're all intrinsically tied to each other. The Inn at the end of the world serving as both the prologue and epilogue to Morpheus's death really shows that they are. We are a lot of things, people I mean. Or maybe just even living things. But in one way we are the same. We are stories. We have a beginning. We have a middle. And unfortunately we have an end.

I don't know if it was just me but I remember feeling a profound emptiness and hollowness at the end of The Sandman. A grief at the story ending. And I feel as if that is what Gaiman intended. Through the inn we learn of the ways Morpheus had affected people. When we leave this world we leave a lot of grief behind. Grief in the form of stories and dreams. I remember once seeing an ask of Gaiman where it was mentioned he was the one who said "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". And I think The Sandman reinforces that philosophy through the grief it shows. In a way, the tales those at the World's End Inn share are a form of grief but we also see the way dreams, death, stories and grief intersect in many of the important side characters. Hod Gadling, an incarnation of dreams as much as death, an outlier and an immortal. Someone who more than almost anyone would mourn Morpheus. We see it in the Dead Boy Detectives, a ghoulish emptiness where a story should end. And in Orpheus, forced to live on in grief. They are all twisted apparitions of dreams, of death, of stories, and of grief.

We are stories. And when we end, people grieve. They grieve through retelling and remembering. One of my favourite iterations of this idea is the story of Shakespeare and Hamlet. Shakespeare pays for the price of his dreams through his son and as we in the real world know, he grieves through telling a story of Hamnet. Hamnet gets turned into a tale that lives on long after he passes. These are all imperfect forms of life and death but they're all stories that do end. They have to. Maybe through telling and dreaming up these stories we keep them alive just a bit longer. Maybe until the heat death of it all, Hob Gadling will live on, being the last person Death take in, but she will take him. Death may be a mug's game but it's a game we all have to play. And grief is the price those that love us pay for it. It's the high cost of living.

[crumbleclub]

ok ok so. responding to tags on this post

@lonelyfreddles and @dire-kumori

In this version of events (it's freddleskats au so I essentially wrote for an au of an au lmao), you can think of Michael's attempt as an alarm and Henry as someone who has trouble waking up. This was loud, and frightening; he's not going to sleep through it, but he's still groggy. He's operating on a delay. Henry does know he has to do something, but he doesn't know what, exactly. He's also afraid he'll fail, so he thinks that it's better not to let Michael know he's doing anything at all.

After all, their relationship couldn't get any worse, right?

To clarify: at this point, Henry is aware that his best friend should not be raising children. That being said, he really, really doesn't want someone who's like family to him to be locked away, especially if this is a universe in which Charlie has been removed from him in any way.

In the latter scenario, if Henry feels like he really has nothing to lose, it would not be impossible for him to see kidnapping as a better scenario than CPS.

[snowyblondie215]

Guess who gotta have an eye operation bc of squint and doesn't fucking know what to draw before it? Exactly, me‼️

The doctors are gonna cut my eye's muscles to make them shorten and sew it, and if I don't do, my affected eye it's gonna get blind. (Istg that I wanna kms right now...)

If you like my content and wanna support it, follow me, press the heart button and leave a comment below here 👇

[returnedfromthepurge]

I still remember.

I remember when I couldn't even stand people talking about the problems they had with their children on a radio show because I was so overloaded with stress about the 20+ children at the daycare I was parenting*. (* What daycare is these days.) I would legitimately get so angry and turn it off for the rest of the ride because I didn't want to hear anything anymore. And I had an hour drive to get home.

I would lay down for sleep and try to do my nightly routines and my mind would play back any sound I'd heard that day, their screaming, the tiny voices shouting my name and their whining. I'd try to do things for stress relief, and needed headphones to separate my mind, to avoid replaying the songs in my head that had to be played all day, because stereo player silence was not looked positively on by management or auditors.

I remember being so sick of the mascots and insisting to the children that they were real, and these characters were the reason for art and music and why we study them. I felt like I was experiencing Corporate Hell and brainwashing three year olds to talk to a plastic sticker on the wall of a mascot when I didn't have time to interact with them. We were encouraged to use that tactic often, when a child would come to us to interrupt, not knowing better of patience.

The main mascot was used as a moral guidepost, however vague.

Everything below the cut is what the tags are about.

I had a parent who told me he was surprised his five year old son was still dressed when he came to pick him up- because at his old daycare, they left him undress whenever.

I never had stress like the day I reported to CPS about a child who'd did and said things that no one his age group should even know about. That child knew evil and it was present in his eyes. I have never wanted violence so desperately, to kill what he had been made into before he got to hurt more people. I wanted to kill a five year old boy and the human creature that turned him into this .His family could die too, the entire bloodline as far as I was concerned. I wanted the satisfaction that I could not have years ago, to kill the one that had possessed someone I'd loved and adored years ago, that was now infested in this child that I could see perfect dullness in his dead eyes. They had no life in them, and I wanted to be the one to be the one who stopped the flow of blood to his diseased mind. I saved many young minds from trauma by resisting that urge in front of them. He was transferred by his parents to a different school.

The day I vented about it to my friend, I was so distracted talking to the phone in the passenger seat, I rear ended someone, and wrecked my vehicle so badly it was undrivable. Everyone was uninjured. It was ruled an accident due to the slick roads. I still think that pickup driver was texting at a green light.

Weeks before I decided I would quit, I sat out beside a large bush next to a fast food place, and tears escaped before I knew why they were coming. I laid in the dirt until it was time to go clock in. A week before, I had had a panic attack terrible enough to take myself to the hospital, afraid what I would do if given the chance to run into traffic .

I bought myself a new shirt on the first day after the hospital, because I was told to be around people, for my own safety. For the days I took to recover, I bought myself a print of that one Louis Wainwright painting , " I am happy because everyone loves me." and framed it a month later.

I don't know that I'm strong enough anymore to handle having children of my own. I think I might be the best example of a person who should not have any. I think I'll be surgically sterilized as soon as possible.

I'm better now. I very truly love the job I'm at. But I know my limits more intimately than I ever thought I could. And I'm never putting myself in a situation again where I'm doing the emotional labor for parents and employers who throw money and gifts at me.

[loredwy]

Ok but, story where the world is doomed and only the chosen one can help, they then find them and start training them. BUT, the bullied hero gets tired of the pressure everyone puts on them for Not Being Enough™, and halfway through, in a messed up villain-style tantrum, they kill themselves. Now the rest of the story being about how people in this world still try to survive, regretting having treated them that bad in a redemption arc, looking very hopeful and everything near the end... just to crush the reader hopes in the last moments because everyone dies anyways.

[gaymers-and-froggers]

"you would tell me if something was wrong, right?"

No I wouldn't, I told you that I have tried to kill myself and yet when I started councilling you only told me to talk about my sexuality. You have repeatedly taken away my only safe spaces because I talked about my actual issues and I can't trust you about these things anymore

[ghousttm]

Read the tags please

Im going to put a marking on where it rlly talks about the suicide part of the story

Until then, the story shouldn't need any content warning

Artist who lowkey highkey sucks at and hates their life and copes by drawing their one oc but one day their oc comes to life and turns Oc lowkey highkey doesn't rlly like Artist bc they're a loser

Oc is different from Artist in many ways. They're pretty, they have friends, they have a direction in life and they love themself. They're everything Artist wants to be

Oc always seem pretty content and happy no matter what's thrown on them.

Artist's life basically took an L and fell off. Nothing really 'happened'. The passing of time just brought them more things than they can handle.

But everyone else seems to be adapting well so.. Artist concludes that they're just not meant to do this 'trying to live' thing

Both Oc and Artist are pretty arrogant and narcissistic

But because of how much more 'better' Oc's life and overall skillset is. Oc thinks that Artist is pathetic

Oc doesnt even respect Artist. They think its almost embarrassing how Artist is their creator. And it rlly hurts Artist since they're really really passionate of Oc, and rlly rlly love them and are attached to them

They try to get along. Sometimes Artist would use their ability to shut Oc up, or for revenge

Cw: heavy themes of suicide after this

But some day, Artist just couldn't take it. Oc is right. They're pathetic, and such a waste of space, why are they even still here? When not even their own creation likes them

Imagine being so pathetic the things you're supposed to author can't even respect you

And maybe they died

Maybe there's like someone who Artist knows that also knows about Oc being alive

But that person is an online friend, that's honestly trying so much more than Artist, at least Artist thinks so

And Artist didn't want anyone to know if they died, so they didn't tell anyone

So Oc was the one who took over Artist's device(s) to tell Friend

And doxx them so friend can come over to stop them from killing themself lol

Or actually maybe Friend called them

And Oc forced the phone to answer

And hearing their friend talk to them grounded them abit

I dont know what happens after. Maybe they try to make an online platform and make money from art commissions. Somehow there's always people who want to commission them no matter how not good their art is. Maybe its bc they started to make a lot of friends online..

They still suck at living irl. Their place is dirty and their scared of contacting anyone they know bc Artist knows its gonna be a really ouchie reality check. But at least they're eating and not living in their parents' basement, getting scolded everyday.. getting reminded at how horrible they are at living everyday

It doesnt matter, they're not trying to live the best life, they're not even trying to live a good life. They just want to live, enough to be able to see their friends the next day

Thats probably the lesson i guess

[sonofwhales]

I love how every summer I look at the sea and think to myself: "what if this year I do it, I just walk out into the sea and let it happen, no one would notice me going off anyways, I can just do it"

But then when I'm chilling and feel a bit of salty water get into my nose/throat and it burns I go: "Nope. Fuck this. Maybe next year. Fuck this."