#cw mixed specific racism

[my-traumacore-sideblog]

i always find it rly strange how ppl assume that ""white passing"" (in quotes bc i don't even actually pass as white good enough 4 ppl 2 not b racist i just pass good enough 4 ppl 2 throw it in my face) mixed ppl never hav 2 deal w hating our own features like.... yes we do

how do u think constantly being told that ur not allowed 2 claim ur own heritage BC OF HOW U LOOK while having 2 listen 2 ppl b racist abt u but u can't say it's racist bc then they'll say they c u as white even tho they clearly don't actually is gonna effect how u feel abt how u look?

answer: not fukin good bro!

i literally shaved all my hair off partly 4 accessibility reasons but also partly bc my curls where curly enough 4 my hair 2 get grabbed in public but not curly enough 4 ppl 2 acknowledge that them doing that was weird and racist

idk how 2 describe the pain that is hating features of ur own body bc of ppl pointing at those features and saying "this is y i think u shouldn't claim 2 b who u r, this is y u don't get 2 claim ur own heritage, this makes u look like ur oppressors but not enough 4 me 2 respect u"

it makes u hate ur body in a way that is so visceral and constantly present, especially when ppl hav this idea of what a mixed person ""should"" look like and u don't look like that despite being mixed

i don't know how 2 describe the pain of having ur features picked apart so throughly as the reason y ur not allowed 2 say who u r until u end up getting 2 the point where every time u c ur reflection all u can think abt it how much u look like all the ppl that oppress u every time u go outside

i basically don't go outside anymore and while it is partly bc of being disabled it's also in large part bc of the type of specific racism i face every time i go out, it's enough that doctors c my name and say that they're not even going 2 try 2 pronounce it and ask if i speak english but it's also not enough that they don't try 2 right "white" on all of my medical forms

it's just a constant cycle of white ppl being racist and then saying "but ur skin is pale so u can't b poc therefore im not being racist" or even going 1 step further and saying that actually ur the racist 4 claiming 2 b poc when u hav pale skin, i rly need ppl 2 stop saying that "racism is discrimination based on skin colour" bc it just leads 2 shit like this and racism isn't always based on skin colour, that's a part of it sure but there's also discrimination based on facial features and other features that r often associated w specific ethnic minorities, there's discrimination based on hair texture, there's discrimination based on cultural signifiers such as names and clothes from other cultures

idk it's just a lot and i needed 2 b able 2 vent so once again i am putting my emotions on digital paper in a way that's probably unorganised but im 2 tired 2 care at this point

[quotation--marks]

I didn’t understand all of what he said - we were most often stoned during these conversations - but the division he claimed he could see inside of me I understood very well, nothing was easier for me to grasp than the idea that I was born half right and half wrong, yes, as long as I did not think of my actual father and the love I bore him I could tap this feeling in myself very easily. 

Zadie Smith, Swing Time

[kiastirling-fanfic]

for your warden Fenris au this dadwc, "say it to the dead bodies."

Y'know, I think I found the perfect place for this prompt. Specifically, the very start of the AU. Here's Fenris arriving in Amaranthine.

words: 1019 cw: fantasy racism, violence, gore

@dadrunkwriting

“Drop the sword, slave, and maybe we won’t even whip you.”

The men were ugly in a way that Fenris had come to be very familiar with on his journey south. Bounty hunters or slavers or simple mercenaries, it mattered little to him at this point, they all came from the same source and all came to the same end. From Danarius to the end of Fenris’ sword, or with his fist in their chest if they were especially unlucky, like horrible presents sent by his old master.

They couldn’t be earnest attempts to pull Fenris back, for all that Danarius was putting on a good show of it ever since he’d left Seheron. Chased south and south and south until he’d crossed the Waking Sea and found himself here.

With his fist buried in the seeming leader of the men sent after him, the rest crumpled slabs of meat lying in pools of blood. That was all the proof Fenris needed that Danarius wasn’t trying to bring him back yet, not really; he knew how strong Fenris was, how skilled. The magister trained him, molded him, knew his every inch and secret, better than Fenris himself.

If Danarius actually wanted him back, he wouldn’t hire such pathetic creatures to chase him.

Fenris pulled back his fist and the leader dropped, dead as all the rest of the beasts were. He flicked his wrist, blood spraying off the talons of his gauntlet and walked back to the last man whose corpse was serving to hold his sword upright.

“Halt! Don’t touch the sword, elf!”

Fenris turned. These men were not Danarius, he was fairly certain. Wielding matched swords and shields, wearing middling armor with yellow dyed tabard over the scales, it took Fenris only a moment to recognize them.

“You’re late, guardsmen,” Fenris scoffed and continued towards his sword. “I was assured when I arrived at the port that the local guards could be trusted to protect the people here, but it seems the reputation of your garrison was exaggerated. Or do you frequently allow slavers to wander your city?”

“He’s gone daft. Slavery’s illegal in Ferelden. And even if these louts started a fight, murder’s murder, right boys?” The crowd of guards jeered their agreement, and the hairs on the back of Fenris’ neck stood on end. They weren’t slavers, but they were not good men clearly.

Fenris spared himself the whip by killing the slavers, only to turn his back to the rod, it would seem.

“I wasn’t aware that Ferelden had laws against killing in defense of one’s life.” In point of fact, Fenris knew nearly nothing of law in Ferelden, other than that they didn’t permit slavery or the presence of slavers; it had been a deciding factor in his taking the boat from Ostwick instead of continuing overland to Kirkwall as he’d initially planned, switching roles in their game of cat and mouse. However, a man he’d met as he traveled the Marches assured him that such laws were commonplace in Southern Thedas, and Fenris expected that much to be true.

“Tell that to the dead bodies, elf,” one of the guards snarled. The ruse was dropping. “Hands at your sides.”

The rattle of chains decided the matter. Never again, Fenris had pledged when he made his decision to flee. Had they planned to escort him without manacles, he might have complied, phasing through the cell and departing the city. With them in the mix, he found his spine turned to steal and the lines of lyrium in his skin itched angrily.

There was little difference between these guards and the men Danarius sent, after all. His sword would gut them just the same, his incorporeal fist would phase through their breastplates without effort.

It would be easy.

“Ho there! Guardsmen!” The bright voice cut the atmosphere, and a stout figure in bright blue armor came into view from a nearby alley. A dwarven women, with sunburnt cheeks and golden hair to match the heavy jewelry in her ears. She seemed half the size of the guards, yet with only a bow on her back she seemed more confident in her stride than most magisters. “What seems to be the problem, sers?”

The reaction of the guards to her was night and day, hands snapping away from blades and into a salute. “M-messere! To what do we owe the honor?”

“I was just walking the streets, overseeing my holdings. After all, I’m sure your old arl did the same, didn’t he?” Her face was round and pleasant, but her smile was as sharp as her words. Fenris knew how to catch the rebuke, even as he held back his surprise at a dwarf claiming to be the lord of Amaranthine. Did Ferelden have dwarven lords alongside the human ones? “Appraise me of the situation.”

“It’s nothing to concern yourself with,” the guards leader coughed into his hand. “Only apprehending this ruffian. You can see the damage he’s done.”

“I’ll decide what I’m to be concerned with,” she maintained that sharp smile, devious as any magister of the magisterium. “I see dead men, with serpent crests on their scabbards. Do you know what nation uses a serpent in its heraldry, guardman?”

“I… cannot say that I do, messere.”

“It’s Tevinter, guardsman. And he’s an elf. Please do put two and two together, I’ll wait.”

“That’s- that can’t be true. No slavers would dare step foot in Ferelden, and certainly not so soon after the Blight. You can’t say that these were slavers with such conviction, not when he massacred them so brutally!”

“I can, actually. I’ve met Tevinter slavers, in Denerim in fact, invited by your beloved Arl Howe during the Blight. I’ll not have you telling me what can and cannot happen in my city nor what I can or cannot do about it. But I’ll save you the trouble for now.” She finally turned her gaze away from the guards and her eyes bore directly into Fenris. “You seem quite good in a fight. I’m conscripting you. Welcome to the Grey Wardens, Conscript.”

[firebeetlefables]

Currently working on un-fucking my messy blog, so... HOUSEKEEPING!

first a lil intro since this is gonna be the pinned for now.

hello! we are the Fable Collective, but you can call us Fable. we are 22 and use they/them or it/its pronouns (mostly.) we are a mixed-origin DID system that (and this will be said ONCE.) WILL NOT PARTICIPATE IN SYSCOURSE. We use we and i semi-interchangeably, so singular references do not bother us as a collective.

beyond that we collectively like art, nature, memes, and are oriented towards positive social changes. all forms of racism, homophobia, transphobia, abelsim, etc, will get u blocked.

we are a tad dyslexic! i apologize in advance for any and all typos and misspellings.

now, onto the actual housekeeping...

im currently going through the excruciating process of mass editing all my posts and adding tags to most of them. featured tags will be as follows (in case you ever wanna scroll for specific content):

All creechers beeg and smol- general catch-all animal tag.

birb friends!- bird pictures

büg- bugs and critters of that variety. I will NEVER post spider pictures as i am severely arachnaphobic.

other bug tags: beeble, moff (for beetles and moths respectively)

my art- see name

other things I'll tag...

All Palestine content will be under "Palestine" or "free Palestine."

dogs (for my cynophobic homie)

general cw/tw stuff (feel free to rq anything that bothers u esp if we are moots and ill do my best to comply)

additionally...

i am willing to add closed captions onto any video I've reblogged that doesn't have it and photo ID's onto all photos! you may wanna request it, but if I have spoons I will!

please know, if you feel the need to correct me on any facts (making this clear: not opinions. facts! ex: "yall said in a post that cats don't have whiskers, they certainly do" or "the use of that tag is incorrect in this instance") I'm usually fairly receptive to it, I truly don't mind as long as its like that.

feel free to let me know if a source I rb from is in some way problematic, id rather know.

AND LASTLY, THIS IS YOUR HOUSEKEEPING REMINDER THAT ALL BIGOTS WILL BE BEATEN OFF MY BLOG WITH A BROOM. SEE URSELVES OUT.

[mogaiboards]

[updated Dec 10 2023]

New BYF, as promised!

We'd rather not have a DNI anymore, simply because since this is a side blog, we can't block people from this blog, and it feels kind of pointless. If you still want to interact, well, we can't stop you, just know what you're getting yourself into 👍🏻

About the blog

This is a side blog

We're very much queer, so everything LGBTQ+ -misic will be thrown into the sun. This includes but is not limited to TERFs, TEHMs, "non-binary sceptics", transmysogyny, and transmisandry. We're pro mspec gays and lesbians, lesboys/lesbian trans men, turigirls/turian trans women, AFAB transfems and AMAB transmasc, and all contradictory identities (in good faith).

We're anarcho-socialists. Racism, xenophobia, cop propaganda, and all the alt-right shit will be thrown into the sun too.

We're collectively pro endogenic plurals, anti tulpa (as in, the word "tulpa"), but keep out of the "are endo valid???" syscourse. Yes they are. There are so many other things to discuss in syscourse (✨the racism✨) and you can't debate away people's existence.

The best anon hate will be kept as a win trophy for being extremely annoying on tumblr. Maybe hung up on the wall in our room. We love this shit

Feel free to send in any questions that you might have and that aren't listed here!

What we will do

Combo flags

Moodboards

Flag coining

Term coining

We will coin everything that is within our power to do - things related to AvPD, StPD, SzPD, (polyfragmented) DID, (C-)PTSD and Bipolar; things related to Shinto, Confucianism, and Hellenism; things related to alterhumanity, especially fictionkin, otherkin, otherhearted, and therian.

We will not coin flags and terms related to things that aren't in our experience, or simply that we are uncomfortable with.

We generally reserve the right to not do something for whatever reason.

About us

We're 23, bodily (08/18)

We are collectively celestian, queer, voidpunk; aroace spec, tulipian, and omni gay

Our collective pronouns are they/them, e/em/es, and ae/aer

We're Italian, white, and perisex

We have a few mental disorders, namely StPD with AvPD and SzPD traits. We also have mixed features dysthymia, C-DID, and C-PTSD.

We have a few physical disorders, namely chronic pain, hearing loss, migraines, and rheumatoid arthritis. We don't always have the spoons to provide IDs but will try our best, and will tag #no id and/or #eyestrain cw

You can call us Aaron as it's our collective name, and will try to tag specific alters

We might have forgotten something. Feel free to ask anytime for anything you want to know!

[wahlpaper]

Queer Identity and Autism in The Deep

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

CW: Animal Death, Attempted Suicide, Grief, War, Hallucinations, Past Slavery, Man-Made Climate Threats, Self-harm, Trauma, Ableism, Racism, Drowning, Ritualistic Fasting and Binging, Described Overstimulation

5/5

The story behind River Solomon's The Deep is just as cool as the novella they wrote. Daveed Diggs, who lent his voice to the audiobook as narrator, described it as a game of telephone. This story has been told in several forms by several people, each retelling a little different. He described this as a feature of the game and not a failing. As cool as the backstory is, there is nothing to it that I can add. Because of that, this post is mostly an editorial, small part review. I'll be focusing on queer and autistic representation in the book. To fill the gap, I strongly encourage you all to listen to the audiobook to get the full experience (especially the afterward), to listen to clipping.'s song "The Deep", and to seek outside information on the story.

The Deep tells the tale of underwater creatures similar to merfolk, primarily Yetu, their historian. These creatures, the "wajinru", are the descendants of pregnant slaves that were thrown overboard. Over time they have decided that their history is too treacherous to dwell on. Once a year they share the memories of their past before passing them back to the historian. This is called "The Remembrance". It is the historian's job or burden to remember the rest of the time and to collect as many memories as they can. It is immediately evident to me, an autistic person, that Yetu is autistic as well. She easily gets lost in the memories she carries and she does not handle sensory experiences well. As deep-sea dwellers, the wajinru communicate through sonar and touch. The Remembrance is particularly intense as the memories are incredibly immersive.

Solomon, one of my favorites, is an autistic author. Although Yetu is never explicitly labeled as autistic in the novella, she absolutely is. It is not something the characters have a word for, but even before taking on the role of historian, she was different from her community. While she was picked as the successor due to her heightened ability to receive sensory input, her ability to handle it was not considered. Ultimately, The Deep is a story about a community learning not only how to face their past, but to accommodate an autistic member of their community who learns how to set boundaries. I will not spoil how, but I promise the book ends in a healthy way.

I appreciate the way Solomon approaches autism for their characters. Both Yetu and the main character of An Unkindness of Ghosts are never specifically labeled as autistic, but very clearly are. Allister people and Neurotypical folks tend to misunderstand what autism is, drawing from stereotypes portrayed in films like Forrest Gump and perpetuated by Autism Speaks. This is a narrow and negative view that doesn't focus much on autistic adults or at all on autistic people that were socialized as women. Solomon doesn't shy away from proper representation. Each autistic person has their own mix of traits and experiences with those traits. Solomon especially focuses on heightened senses, hyperfixation, being nonverbal, and thinking in ways that are different from others. One thing that these characters are not is unintelligent, as that is not what autism is. I hope to see more accurate representation of autism in literature and elsewhere! I desire for more characters like me.

The queer content does not surface until very far into the book. At one point in the story, Yetu ends up meeting some two-legged land folks. One is Oori, someone who Yetu believes is autistic. Because of their similarities, Yetu and Oori start to bond and gain feelings for each other. Oori has lost her home and her family. Because of this, she does not easily bond with others. She does kind things for the people she knows, but not with the desire to be close to them. Yetu is different, worth getting to know. The two discuss their experiences as wajinru and human. One such topic is genitalia. The wajinru are very open to differences in gender and attraction. They all have both forms of genitalia, but some identity as women, men, both, neither, and in between. Polyamory is also quite common for them. Fantasy stories should not be afraid to ditch queer-phobia. If you can create any world you want, why would you want to keep that?

If you enjoy mermaids, Afrofuturism, positive autistic representation, or Solomon's storytelling, you should absolutely read The Deep. The experience of reading this novella is enhanced by consuming it in audiobook format, so please consider choosing that over print. As it is a novella, it won't take much of your time, but every line is worth it! Thank you Solomon for another wonderful story.

[enteisabo]

guys not to get all up on a high horse but like, you should be telling people what you like about them/their content/their style/etc. genuinely and profoundly, i feel more excitement now about people than i used to when i didn't comment on everything i liked. i started this post thinking more along the lines of content, like fanart and fic and whatnot, but like. i was trying to explain it and realized that all of this came from a much bigger change than just my attitude about art and other people's efforts. so i'm gonna talk more under a read more about that, but like. tl;dr: when you seek out reasons to compliment things, it literally changes your mindset about those things and even yourself. it stops being an active search. you just start seeing the beauty. (cw; mild talk of racism)

the two things that made me make this change were this: first, i hit a point when coming out of my judgmental adolescence where i realized that the things i'd said to people i loved were just mean instead of "friendly ribbing" like i'd treated them. i was a bully as a teenager. secondly, and this is where the habit began, is that i started my journey into activism and anti-racist mindsets. i lived close to one of the big inciting incidents of the BLM movement in america 10 years ago (like, was passed on the highway by the cops responding to riots and took in people nearby to keep them safe), and what i saw made me start noticing patterns in my own thoughts. that despite being in a heavily mixed-race area, i was disproportionately judgmental on a subconscious level. i didn't like what i thought, so every time i found myself saying something judgmental in my head about someone, i complimented them out loud. sometimes they didn't hear me, sometimes i got a quick and awkward "oh, thanks," but sometimes their whole demeanor would shift. it was beautiful to see people just suddenly, genuinely smile. some specific instances are burned into my mind just because of how much it made me happy to see them happy. then it turned into just complimenting people without the negative thing to overwrite. i've never actually talked about the whole "dismantling personal prejudice" thing being the inciting thing for this behavior. but it translated outside of these things too. i started sending asks/DMs/comments telling artists what i felt about their art, and i started to comment on fics more when i read them. people respond to these things. they remember them. and i remember that they remember them, because they've told me and shown me the differences they've made. i know that comments i've left about people's art have gotten them through art block, and things i've said about people when i know they needed to hear encouragement have been put on their walls as reminders. there are a thousand other things that people have probably forgotten, but i know that some of the things i've complimented people on have stuck with them and healed and encouraged, and i fucking THRIVE on that now. i FEEL the lights dim when i shut myself away and say nothing for too long. so just. compliment people. i know it can be scary and awkward; start over text, start online. but it gets easier to compliment people the more you do it, because you see more things to compliment. and when you're seeing more things, that means you're enjoying things more deeply. so tell your favorite writer what you love about their writing or point out something in someone's art that made you swoon. they deserve to hear it and you deserve to experience it.

[dancingwiththefae]

Alright fuck it. I read Lady Chatterley’s Lover so you don’t have to. This is long and a little rambly sorry in advance

Cw for racism, ableism, general discrimination you’d find from an English novel written in the 1920s

First, the basic premise: the book follows Connie Chatterley, an upper class woman who lives in the midlands with her husband Sir Clifford, who has become paralysed from the First World War. She has an affair with the groundskeeper Oliver Mellers and gets pregnant.

But there’s a bit more to it. And to really look at it, we first have to break down the major themes of the novel. Romance and sex, obviously, rapid industrialisation, class mixing, death and new life, ‘old England’ vs ‘new’.

Throughout the novel there is contempt for the rapid industrialisation of post war England. This is shown through the general hatred for the pitmen but they’re undeniable presence. They cannot be swept away and out of sight like they used to. The working classes are now on your doorstep. Old manors are being torn down and in their place new affordable housing is being built. Clifford’s motorised wheelchair breaks down. Mellers hates modern England. Hates the cars and the noise and the smoke. He instead, lives in the woods of the Chatterley’s land, alone, taking care of the natural land.

Clifford has contempt for this too, but in a different way. It’s not an exaggeration to say that Clifford is a grotesque character. He only accepts the pitmen if he can rule over them. He wants power, he wants to keep people in their place. He is every hang up of an old English aristocrat. He doesn’t even consider the lower classes as human. He likens then to animals. Lawrence clearly has a bug to bear against industrial England, setting it in the heart of the Industrial Revolution (the midlands) cannot be a coincidence.

But, it would have to be accepted in some way. Navigated in some way. It needs a new kind of person to do that. Connie and Mellers spend the majority if not all of their affair in the woods. They are at peace there. They take care of it. Connie wishes it could be left in peace, fears it being damaged by industrialisation. In a sense, this is where class mixing comes into play. Both classes have their set of hang ups. By combining them, the offspring could take the best of both. It gives them the best chance to survive and thrive in an ever changing England.

Connie and Clifford can’t have a child. Clifford cannot be intimate. He has his every need taken care of, he is almost reduced to an infant and Connie loathes him for it. And, tbh, Clifford loathes it too. He is somehow less of a man because of it. He wants Connie to have a child (a son specifically) and doesn’t care who the father is as long as it doesn’t affect their marriage.

So Connie goes to Mellers. They create new life in the woods amongst the new spring flowers, the pheasant chicks being born. They are in their ‘garden’ so to speak, creating a new kind of humanity.

That’s not to say this is a pleasant book, and the smut is less fun than you’d think, though it is explicit (and got the book banned). There are clear instances of anti-black racism, antisemitism and anti-Irish sentiment. Mellers essentially claims that black women are sexually compatible but not appealing. Connie’s first affair is with an Irish play-write called Michaelis. He is, from the very start, dehumanised and linked with anti-blackness and racial stereotype. He is referred to as looking like a mask worn by African tribes. He is not viewed as a person the same as his English counterparts. So, in this new race of people for a New England there needs to be heavy emphasis on, well, race.

Connie is the ideal woman in this manner. Upper class, white, sexually active but submissive. Mellers, lower class, salt of the earth, at one with the natural world. These are the traits the novel wishes to pass on. And it is emphasised by their environment. Pheasant chicks are raised by hens, a clear allegory for Connie and Mellers baby and the mixing of the classes. It is set in the spring, the season of new life. One of Connie’s tenants has a baby. It’s contrasted harshly with themes of death. Mrs Bolton (Clifford’s nurse) never getting over the death of her husband. The death of a fellow aristocrat, the pulling down of old Manor houses, the felling of trees. One England is dying while another is being born.

I think a lot of this is Lawrence’s own understanding and grasp of his mortality. Chatterley was written at the end of his life. You would be mistaken to think this was a racy self insert of a rugged man taking a prim and proper woman. Lawrence is not Mellers. Lawrence is Clifford. Lawrence is dying and with him dies the old ways.

TLDR: Mellers and Connie are together to create a new kind of person who will replace the old England and go forward into the new in their ‘garden’ in the backdrop of post-war anxiety and the ever present threat of mortality.

I have a stupid useless literature brain because it will give me things like ‘Lady Chatterley’s lover is a post-war Adam and Eve story’ and I can’t do anything with it

[ode-to-spring]

hello!! ive seen a lot about the recent discourse on sumeru and all it's characters, most especially kusanali nowadays, and felt the need to clear some things up for my own peace of mind. though i should put a disclaimer that i'm in no way from any of the countries or cultures sumeru was originaly intended to represent, though i am a POC who knows what colorism, orientalism, and blatant lack of representation feels like. if anyone from the real cultures finds something wrong in whatever i say, please point it out and educate me so i can adjust! I might not be in a place to speak and have a very little platform, but I promise you, a few minutes of research and a little empathy can go a very long way.

cw for the topics i mentioned above (orientalism, colorism, subtle racism, etc etc.) very long discussion utc!

A common excuse I see people making for aspects of Kusanali's design (her skin color, her size, etc.) is that she's allegedly based off of Kusanali Jataka, from a Buddhist collection of poems as a fairy living in a clump of grass. This much is true, she very much is named after that, and the nature-esque inspiration matches up. However, that changes when many fans on tiktok, twitter, etc. have been claiming the original poem to mention that Kusanali Jataka had "skin as pale as the light of the moon."

This specific description pertains to an entirely different diety, one going all the way to Hinduism backgrounds. She who that quote was originally used for is known as Sarswati, the Hindu goddess of knowledge, wisdom, art, speech, music, aesthetics, and learning. For the record, here is what common portrayals of her look like, as well as the description of her appearance:

See? Sound familiar? To compare, here is what a portrayal of Kusanali Jataka looks like:

These two very separate dieties were definitely mixed up, most likely in a way to simply excuse how utterly far away the dendro archon looks from the real life people her country is meant to represent. Previously we've had Zhongli and Ei, a dragon accurate to real Chinese myths, and a samurai with cultural ties even to her name, her titles, and other various inspirations such as from the Vision Hunt Decree. Yunjin proves that Hoyoverse is capable of making accurate and in depth research of real life cultural aspects. Kusanali, however, has no obvious cultural background to her design except her name and perhaps the quote of "Let great and small." Other than that? You could've told me that she's just another kid from Mondstadt and I'd believe you entirely.

It's one thing to like a characters design, but another thing to entirely erase the problems there are with representation, among other things. The problem in her is not that she has a child model, it's that she, as Sumeru's archon, is meant to represent their whole country, but at the same time she has no indications of references to SWANA or ME culture what so ever.

To add onto that, the argument of "but im from this race and im pale" is not valid at all, because just because you or your family or friends are not, doesn't mean the rest of your people don't either. In my country, we were taught as kids to bathe with some kind of papaya whitening soap, not to stay in the sun too long or we'll get tanned, that we need go "stay indoors more to get whiter," and I'm sure this isn't only a problem in mine. The few times that the people of these underrepresented cultures get a chance at the spotlight, the very least Hoyoverse can do when they'll make truckloads of money from them either way is to do it right. They deserve that much.

Hoyoverse is a multi million dollar company that is perfectly capable of making designs that aren't stereotypical and all lightskin if not paper white. They honestly dug their own grave by making the exact mistake many have made before when it comes to representation specifically in these regions, such as Aladdin, where they threw many different and diverse cultures together and thought it would end up nicely without either five different things happening at once, or an entirely whitewashed version of everything. They should not be able to cherrypick and make money out of whatever bits of these cultures they want only to leave out the outward appearances of the people that they belong to. That is colorism.

I am making this post to at least try to raise awareness on the misinformation going around about Kusanali, as well as shed light on how condescending all the pale and at most light brown characters feel as a POC. That said, however, I can't speak for the people from South Asia/North Africa/Middle East on this issue, and therefore if you have time I'm *begging* you to listen to what they have to say. If you're from those cultures and don't have any problems with Sumeru, thats okay! But it doesn't mean that everyone else doesn't either. If you're white or from a different culture and are therefore unaffected by all of this? If you want to ignore, don't say a word. Don't shut the voices of the POC that should be in the spotlight in the first place. But if you want to help? Do your research. Uplift the voices of those who are affected. Listen to what they have to say. Orientalism and colorism aren't easy topics to be brushed off easily, and they have every right to be reacting in opposition to what Hoyoverse currently has to offer.

If you're interested in what I've just mentioned, here are a few links I've found of people from these cultures that you should consider checking out ::

https://twitter.com/dorobor1/status/1553151372308135938?t=QfJI9jXKDVvPO86eqGgyGw&s=19

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSR2pcbVC/?k=1

https://twitter.com/dailynahida/status/1538609206621790209?t=JRPUQ5Z8kn_nJJ2McShbag&s=19

https://twitter.com/Altochameleon/status/1553623114650509313?t=nDhSJyZ167HqP_eR4byqEg&s=19

And many more! So many SWANA & ME people are speaking up about this but get drowned out in all the arguing when they are the ones in the right. The goal isn't to speak over them, it's to let their words be heard. So please, stop the unnecessary ignorance and disrespect in every aspect of all that's going on with the discourse going around about this topic. It isn't hard to be respectful, it isn't hard to research, it isn't hard to be decent human beings.

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSR2pT61E/?k=1

https://twitter.com/Bitanees/status/1562903344553013252?t=CyBbIxBG3IFGWM98bZYADw&s=19

[redadm1ral-moved]

Me when I see the next Mix-It Up Monday question is about crossovers-

I have an entire AU centered around what I think would happen if a COD character was inserted into a different game (well, a few COD characters, to be more accurate), with part one of my planned five part series currently in progress!

I'll drop a link for anyone interested at the end of the post, but without further ado, allow me to be briefly insufferable about Call of Honor! :D

Call of Honor is an AU where a few COD characters (namely Soap, Makarov, Yuri, and perhaps a few OCs) wake up after their deaths in the Dishonored universe, in the middle of the Plague Crisis (so, right in the middle of the events of Dishonored 1). Soap, Makarov, and Yuri all have their own individual arcs and pathways through this fucked up new world, but since the OP asked about one Call of Duty character specifically, and the currently planned series primarily follows Soap's journey, I'll focus on Soap for this post.

(The rest of this post is going under a cut to save y'all's dashboards! CW for mentions/brief discussions of racism and xenophobia.)

Soap's thrown right into the deep end: after dying in Prague, he wakes up in the abandoned Old Port District (quarantined and evacuated because of plague), and stumbles across the Loyalist Conspiracy, who take him in as part-refugee, part-prisoner. Which could be good or bad luck, depending on the way you slice it. They feed him, at least, and he's free to wander their headquarters, the Hound Pits Pub, as he pleases. So it's not as bad as it could be.

Right away he needs to adjust to differing technology, both old and new; for example, everyone uses chamber pots and only the rich have access to plumbing beyond just sinks, but Soap also must learn to navigate the new hazards that are walls of light and arc pylons. And this isn't even getting into the weaponry! Gone are the guns he's used to; he adjusts pistols more similar to flintlocks than anything else, and learning his way around a sword is essential for survival. The culture is also different—the culture and societal norms of 1837 Dunwall are much more similar to Victorian England than the modern day, though obviously not exact.

He must adapt to new geography and politics, and new expectations for him in Dishonored's world. To the people of Dishonored, he'd be considered Morleyan, which puts him at a disadvantage in Dunwall; xenophobia is woven into the fabric of the Empire, and the Morley Insurrection is still in living memory, meaning he's more likely to face discrimination and violence and less likely to receive recourse. My Soap is also mixed race and visibly Black, meaning he would also be navigating Dunwallian society as a "colored" man—and Dunwall is not kind to colored men or Morleyans, as he very quickly finds out.

Dunwall is also in the midst of what will be known as the Plague Crisis, which starts in 1835 and ends with the development and distribution of a cure in 1838 (canonically). The Rat Plague (a fictional disease based heavily off the real-world bubonic plague) is introduced to Dunwall's slums and spreads wildly, killing half of Dunwall's population by the end of the crisis. This, understandably, freaks Soap out; there is no cure, no known treatment, and though he's had vaccinations for just about anything one could think of back home, his immune system is not accustomed to the diseases native to the Isles or to Pandyssia, so he's even less equipped to fight the plague than his hosts. Death by plague is a horrible, slow way to go as well; failure to keep himself safe could result into him becoming a weeper, and the idea of such a fate would keep him up at night.

And if all of this weren't enough, Dunwall is also in the middle of a power crisis; the last Empress was assassinated and her daughter, the only known heir, was kidnapped at the same time. When Soap arrives, a Lord Regent and his entourage are running the city into the ground—and the conspiracy who took Soap in are the ones aiming to remove the Lord Regent, find the lost heir, and install her on the throne.

It's hard. One of these various issues would be difficult enough, but on top of adjusting to a new nation/empire and culture, bearing the weight of a different flavor of otherwise painfully familiar racism and xenophobia, and navigating a deadly epidemic with a tyrannical government in the center of it all, Soap has to grapple with his own death. He's dead, with everything that implies, and the chances of him reversing this cosmic error and going home are slim to none (spoilers: it's none). He grieves for himself, the future he lost, and the lives he left behind—he lives he fears he failed, because he died without ever killing Makarov or seeing the end of World War 3. And that's a fucked up thought to have, that he's a casualty of a third world war.

And being dragged into the middle of a conspiracy he had no idea existed does not do much for his mental state, either. Everyone has an ulterior motive, something they want above anything else, and Soap is in a uniquely vulnerable position that rivals even Corvo's. He's a complete nobody, someone who can be used and discarded without ever being missed. And he's not as important as everyone else, too, meaning that if something goes wrong and he's to blame, the Loyalists will have no qualms about disposing of him. Suffice to say, paranoia is ever-present.

But Soap isn't completely alone. He has relationships with his new hosts—some positive, some negative. Corvo takes Soap under his wing and refuses to give up on him, and Lydia and Samuel treat him with respect and kindness (if a little fear, in the beginning). Even Cecelia eventually warms up to him, and even Wallace may come to respect him in the end. He and Martin connect over their similar identities (Soap being Scottish, Martin being Morleyan and, more specifically, the in-universe equivalent of Irish), and though his relationships with Pendleton and Havelock are fairly awkward, there is still some mutual interest. (But all things come to an end...eventually.)

Anyway this post is becoming HUGE, so here is where I'll cut it off for now. I don't have a lot of stuff in my Call of Honor tag currently (I don't think so, at least), but if you wanna hear more about this AU or have any questions, my inbox is open! :D

Like I mentioned in the beginning of the post, I'm also working on a fic series following the events of this AU! The first fic, The Plagued Capital, is currently in progress, and there are four other parts currently being planned. TPC will focus entirely on the events of Dishonored 1, from Soap appearing in the Old Port to the resolution after Kingsparrow.

The Plagued Capital can be read on AO3 and FFN. I recommend the AO3 version honestly, the FFN version is just there for mirroring purposes. I haven't updated the fic in a few months (and no set in stone ETA, sorry), but I do plan on updating when I have the time.

I'm also planning a Makarov-centric spinoff that follows his perspective through the entire series, from The Plagued Capital to the final part of COH, The Unquiet Grave (which takes place in 1852 and follows/mirrors the events of Dishonored 2). There's no fic up for it yet; I plan to start writing it once I've gotten through with at least some of the main series.

One of my partners, @solnishka1927, is also working on a companion series called Call of Absolution, which focuses on Yuri's perspective in the same AU and timeline. Currently they're waiting on me to work more on The Plagued Capital to edit and update their work, since Yuri and Soap's storylines run pretty closely together and cross over at times, but the first few chapters are available on AO3 if you'd like to take a gander at what they've got so far! (Be sure to leave a kudos and/or a comment if you do! :D)

I also have a tag for this AU, which I've tagged this post with for organizational purposes and ease of navigation. Feel free to peruse it, though I...honestly can't remember how much I've posted in it, oops.

Thank you @onlycodcanjudgeme for giving me the perfect excuse to ramble about my favorite AU, my baby, my fucking cinnamon apple, and to anyone who read this entire post through, you're a real one.

[rayveewrites]

What did tumblr do? - Ying Yang

Something very, very stupid. So this is actually probably Apple's fault, not Tumblr's, but it's a Thing either way and a complete pain in the ass. If you use the IOS app, specifically the IOS app, posts tagged with certain words/acronyms WILL NOT SHOW UP on neither search nor dashboard. The result of this, of course, is that this discourages people from using said tags, including SEVERAL MAJOR TRIGGER TAGS. We don't have an exhaustive list, but @bannedtags (who has been shadowbanned, unfortunately) has compiled a list of known tags affected by this. How stupid are these, you ask? Well. Here are some highlights.

-Ask to tag

-anxiety

-Alice Lightwood (idk who that is, but Google says he's a fictional character?)

-beads

-bimbo

-CW (you know, as in CONTENT WARNING)

-Eros (as in the greek god of love ?!)

flashing/flashing lights (you know, the tag to help people with EPILEPSY.)

-fuck

-girl

-high heels

-long post (??????)

-Paint mixing

-queue/queued

-scar/scars (which will affect the GTWscar too, I imagine)

-self reblog

-single dad/single mom/single parent (idk about the nonamerican spelling for mum but this is so dumb either way)

-stim/stimboard

-submission

-suicide prevention

-Tony the Tiger (why)

-trigger warning (for some inane reason)

-trypophobia (a very common phobia that needs to be tagged ffs)

-various hair colours, including blonde, brunette, and redhead.

-various discrimination-related terms, including antisemitism, racism, homophobia, biphobia, and lesbophobia

-THIS BS:

(also mine and me)

-and an awful lot of common triggers, mental illnesses and sexual phrases.

Again. THIS DISSUADES PEOPLE FROM USING THESE TAGS. THIS WILL AFFECT PEOPLE WHO FILTER THESE TAGS. TUMBLR WHAT THE FUCK.

[dreamofmysoul-tsc]

Elias Carstairs, Matthew Fairchild, and the Disease of Alcoholism

I’m very nervous about posting this but I think it’s important. 

Now before you guys scroll past this post, I’m gonna ask that whoever may read this take some time to hear from my perspective. I would like to preface this by saying that I do not know, nor am I claiming to know, what it’s like to face racism and prejudice everyday, nor do I know what it was like to be queer in a time that was less than accepting and terribly cruel to LGBTQIA+ folks. I will not be speaking about either of those things here, as it is not my place to. However, I do know what it’s like to live with an alcoholic. I do know what it’s like to have an alcoholic parent and I have seen what addiction does to a person and their family firsthand. 

Final disclaimer, I am in no way trying to attack or target anybody. All I am doing is providing my own perspective when it comes to the discourse surrounding Elias Carstairs and the differing opinions I have seen in regards to Matthew. I would also like to state that my experiences are my own, and are in no way reflective of every addicts’ experience or the experiences of their children/loved ones. Addiction affects everybody differently. 

I am also not a psychologist or a doctor; everything stated below are my personal experiences as a child of an alcoholic. 

Now let’s get started. 

CW for alcoholism, substance abuse, abuse in general, and death

Elias

When I first started Chain of Gold I didn’t anticipate how much I was going to relate to Alastair. Honestly, I didn’t have strong opinions about him either way; I didn’t hate him, but I didn’t love him either. That was until it was revealed why Elias was sick all the time, and what really happened during his mission. I have never seen alcoholism portrayed in a novel ever. I’m sure there are novels which talk about it out there, but I have never come across one. And for the first time in my life, I felt like somebody understood. There are countless characters in The Shadowhunter Chronicles who have touched my heart, but I will forever be grateful to Alastair and Cassandra Clare for making me feel like I didn’t have to hide anymore, that I was allowed to talk about my father’s alcoholism. Because for 18 years, it had been my secret. For my mother, it had been even longer. 

My father has been an alcoholic for my entire life. I’m sure this is common sense for most people, but an alcoholic cannot be a 100% good and supportive parent. Those two things do not mix. Most alcoholics are alcoholics because of shame, pain, or other mental health problems that they have not sought therapy for. I would also like to say that alcoholism is a disease. It physically alters the brain to make the addict believe that they need to drink just as much as they need to eat or sleep. When you are constantly drunk, it can increase stress or anxiety in everyday life and leaves the addict at risk of developing depression if it was not already there. Many alcoholics suffer with depression, general low self esteem, or various other mental health problems before abusing alcohol; these problems are then exacerbated with daily alcohol consumption. 

My father never abused us, mentally, physically, etc, and he never has. He carries a lot of mental pain and shame with him, which he has continually refused to seek help for. He drinks because he does not like himself; he feels that he isn’t deserving of help. He feels like he messes everything up. And as a child, I used to make excuses for him. “Well, he never hurts us, so what’s the problem?” “It doesn’t affect his work, so what’s the problem?” I was naive then. No matter how “functioning” they may seem, an alcoholic cannot live a completely healthy, happy, and fulfilling life if they drink everyday, even if it seemingly doesn’t affect their work lives. Alcoholics are very good at hiding their addiction. I cried when Cordelia described finding bottles in odd places, or when Alastair described how he tried everything in his power to hide it from his sister and their community. I used to find beer cans stashed under the kitchen sink. Sometimes I’d find them in the spice cabinet. I don’t like inviting friends to my house because I can never be sure if my dad will be 100% sober. I didn’t want people to see him that way. I don’t want to see him that way. 

I have seen a decent amount of posts on various platforms of people wishing Elias dead or wanting him to be completely x-ed out of Alastair and Cordelia’s lives. And while I totally understand the protectiveness many people feel toward Alastair and Cordelia whenever their father is involved (I love them to pieces, too), as somebody who is a child of an alcoholic, I do not and would never wish my father dead. The thought of it makes me sick. Thus far, we know very little about Elias and his personality. We don’t know if he has ever physically harmed Alastair or Sona. This is not to invalidate mental or emotional abuse either, which are just as terrible. And while he does seem to be biased towards Cordelia, which in and of itself isn’t fair, there has been little evidence to show that Elias is violent or abusive. Of course Chain of Iron could prove me wrong, but as of now, I don’t want to immediately assume that Elias is abusive. Alcoholism does not equal abuse, although alcohol can be an expedient to violence. I do not want to invalidate the Carstairs’ experience if that is the case, but I do not want to jump to conclusions either. Of course you can call me lucky because my father has never harmed us in any way. But personally, I find that insulting. When a parent is an addict, regardless of whether or not they harm their children or how involved they are in their child’s life, they will end up leaving their child with mental scars whether it was intentional or not. My father’s addiction and the addictions of countless others cannot be measured on a scale. Addiction hurts everybody it touches, no matter how normal the addict may seem to the rest of the world. 

I know this Elias section is already so long, but I have a bit more to say before I move on to Matthew. Alcoholics make choices, many of them poor choices. They decide whether or not to seek help. They decide to drink another beer. They decide to drive drunk, even if their child is in the car with them. It is a disease which completely takes over every single part of their life. And while it negatively affects their lives and the lives of their loved ones, that does not mean that they are undeserving of help. Any addict, whether they’re addicted to alcohol or heroin or cigarettes, anything at all, needs help. And they most definitely should not be mocked or attacked for their addiction or their attempts to get help for it. Regardless of whether or not they are in recovery or in the thick of their addiction, there is absolutely no reason to mock them. There is no reason to tell them to “just quit drinking.” There is no reason to call them a “junkie” or a “drunk,” no matter what stage of their addiction or recovery process they are in. 

I am in no way excusing Elias’ behavior just as I in no way excuse my father’s behavior. He [Elias] needs to be punished for showing up to a mission drunk and consequently being unable to keep those four Shadowhunters from dying. He needs to apologize to his children. He needs to apologize to his wife. And he needs to recover. Addiction is an ugly, ugly thing. It never just affects the addict. It leaves their loved ones with scars, whether they’re mental of physical. Personally, I can’t stand the sound of metal beer or soda cans being cracked open anymore. I’m terrified of getting married. I can never feel 100% comfortable or safe around drunk people. I refuse to drink. I don’t like thinking about how the only time my dad has been 100% sober was when we visited my grandparents for a week and he had no opportunity to slip away to buy alcohol. I don’t like thinking about how my mother has had to deal with this for decades. I want my mother to be happier. But I also want my dad to recover. Living with an alcoholic isn’t black and white; I don’t hate my dad. I hate his addiction. I love him. He’s my dad. I don’t like seeing him that way. I know Alastair doesn’t like seeing his father that way either. But no matter how much you scream or cry or fight with somebody, people will not change unless they themselves want to. 

Matthew

This section will be much more brief because many of my thoughts surrounding Matthew are similar to my thoughts surrounding Elias. I would like to touch on two things, however.

I have seen people talking about Matthew, or more specifically Matthew’s friends, saying that they don’t understand why they [The Merry Thieves and Co] seem to be ignoring Matthew’s alcoholism or aren’t doing anything about it even if they do realize he has problems with alcohol. Part of it is because of historical context; alcoholism wasn’t considered a disease until very recently, and the beliefs that alcoholics can either a) stop drinking whenever they want or b) are abusive, useless members of society still persist to this day. But the other, bigger part of it is relatively simple: people won’t change unless they believe they can change. Addicts need to want to change in order to begin the recovery process. You can’t force them to. If their heart isn’t in it, they’ll attend therapy or AA meetings a couple times to appease you, and then they will start drinking/using again. Or they’ll lie to you even more, telling you that they did attend a meeting or a therapy session when in reality they bought another pack of beer. Matthew will not seek help unless he believes wholeheartedly that he can change. He needs to believe that he is worthy of change and he needs to truly want to get better in order to begin to make significant improvements in his life. Of course relapses will happen, but the point is that he wants to improve his life. He wants to recover. No matter how much James or Thomas or Cordelia or Lucie tell him to change, no matter how much they want him to get better, he simply will not unless he wants to. It hurts. It really does. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. You can love somebody so, so much, but your love is not going to make them better. Your love will not magically make their addiction go away. To reiterate what I said about Elias earlier, you can scream and cry and fight and give them all of the love until you’re blue in the face, but if they don’t want help, they will not seek it out. Matthew needs help, but more importantly, he needs to come to the realization that he is deserving of that help. He is deserving of a successful recovery. Every addict is.

Lastly, there is something about Matthew and Cordelia’s relationship that has never sat right with me. Children of alcoholics are statistically more likely to get into a relationship or marry an alcoholic because it’s what feels “normal” to us. And while I have always wanted Matthew and Cordelia to become friends, part of this is the reason why I don’t want them to have a romantic relationship. I don’t want Cordelia to have to continue that cycle, never able to escape the effects of addiction. I want Matthew to focus on himself. I want him to recover. I want his friends to support him. I want both Matthew and Elias to have a successful recovery, because the amount of addicts who die from their disease every year is staggering and upsetting. Of course Matthew is deserving of love, but he needs to focus on recovering, both from his addiction and his trauma, before he puts all of his energy into a romantic relationship.

----------

Overall, I want Alastair to have time to be himself, to not have to carry the weight of his father’s addiction on his shoulders. I want Elias to recover and to apologize for how he has hurt his family, whether it was intentional or not. I want Matthew to forgive himself and to realize that he deserves to take up space in this world just as we all do. And I ask that you, whoever may be reading this, to try to feel a little more compassion for these characters and addicts you may know or meet in your life. Or to put yourself in their shoes and the shoes of their loved ones. We should not be mocking them, or hurting them, and we certainly should not be wishing death upon them. There are far, far too many addicts who have died because of their disease and their mental pain. When dealing with addicts or the loved ones of addicts, I ask that you try to support them and encourage them to seek help, whether it’s therapy or AA or any number of support groups. The effects of alcoholism and drug addiction will stick with the addict in recovery and their loved ones for the rest of their lives. Some days will be harder than others. But the important part is that, when those hard days come, they have a support system of therapists, family, friends, even people online to remind them why they are in recovery and to encourage them and their progress, no matter how small. An addict in recovery, no matter how slow or fast their progress may seem, is better than an addict who has died because they never sought out the help they desperately needed.

If you read through this entire thing, thank you! I really appreciate you taking the time to read through my personal experience. This topic is very important to me, and while I’m relatively new to tumblr, I still felt the need and the obligation to share my perspective. I’m not trying to sway your opinion of Matthew or Elias, just to maybe make some people think about this complex issue. If you aren’t a fan of either of them, that’s totally fine. If anything, what I would like you to take away from this is to be more aware of alcoholism and its effects. If something doesn’t seem right, speak up. I will be providing resources below if you or a loved one needs addiction counseling or help, or if you simply would like to learn more about this. If you have anything to add to this, would like to share your opinion, or have a question for me, feel free to reblog or message me in my ask box. Please be respectful, y’all! This is a sensitive topic and it affects everybody differently; I want this to be a civil discussion, not a witch hunt.

Thank you very much for reading and considering my point of view. 

Resources:

What is Alcohol Use Disorder?

SAMHSA (a helpline)

Alcohol Rehab Guide (this website also includes educational resources and a helpline)

Substance Abuse Helplines and Treatment Programs

How Parental Alcoholism Affects Children

[teacup-tai]

Hi babes! I was wondering if you have any specific hobby besides reading/writing and if you do, could you share a bit with us? Or if you don’t, I’d love to know more about your favorite Brazilian references: artists, poets, musicians, anything that strikes your fancy! Sending lots of love ❤️ - Liv

Oi Liv! Gorgeous question, thanks so much. So, I guess watching series is a hobby, right? lol I'll be cheeky then, and talk about Brazilian series, as most folk around here didn't have the opportunity to discover Brazilian audiovisual art amazeness! Let's do this!

Once upon a time, 15 years old Tainara wanted to study audiovisual arts/cinema, to write screenplays for Brazilian Telenovela. I was OBSESSED with telenovelas since I was a kid. Many of you probably don't know this bit of information, but Brazil used to be the biggest exporter of soap-operas in the whole world. We are BLOODY GOOD AT IT. :) I think it shows, now that we have the opportunity to watch international series online. What to say, drama and creativity run deep in our veins, with hot Latin blood. xD

WARNING: I just realised that being Brazilian, we end up normalizing so much violence. I don't wanna trigger anyone, so be responsible. The only soft one is Capitu, you can jump to that rec and vid if you prefer. CW: drug use, violence, murder, domestic violence and other. well, tipical latin american film/series to be fair. how sad is that? fml.

5 Brazilian series you should watch:

DOM (2021, E+, Amazon prime)

I just finished watching this series and, as always, the depth of the plot is stunning. This series talk about Pedro, a boy from Rio de Janeiro who ends up involved in drugs and criminality. The gorgeous thing about this series, is the amazing 360º approach they take on the story of cocaine in Brazil, in the favelas, how drug addiction impacts the individual, the family, the community, the police, etc. It's really hard to watch bc it's very intense. The acting is gorgeous, the soundtrack is marvellous, the plot is deep and angsty and sexy and oh man, I miss Brazil.

(cw: drug use by adults AND minors, a lot of violence, torture, police brutality, corruption, guns, there's OD, and a lot of great naked sex scenes done the brazilian way: I mean very explicit and crazy hot!).

Girls from Ipanema (2019, E, Netflix)

Hear me out, this series show a bit of the Brazil from the 50s-60s. It's the story of Malu, a woman from Sao Paulo's high society that after being abandoned by her husband, decides to try her life in Rio de Janeiro. It's a story about women empowerment, as along the way she meets other incredible women. The series touch topics as racism, sexism, domestic violence and growth. It's AMAZING. The actresses are all wonderful, the soundtrack - as always - impecable. We get to learn a bit more about how Bossa Nova was born in a incredible mix of Samba from the favela and Jazz. Please do yourself a favour and watch it!

(cw: domestic violence, rape, great naked sex done the brazilian way etc)

Invisible City (2021, teen and up?, Netflix)

Well, this one is a tad bit lighthearted. There's murder mystery alright, but it's mixed with Brazilian Folklore!All the old legends us Brazilians grown up listening too, there's the river dolphin, the mermaid, the Cuca, Saci... While investigating the murder of his wife, detective Eric is surrounded by invisible forces and magic and suspence. Dudes, this was such a cool watch! just amazing how they made it work, the folklore and the mystery, it's lovely really!

(cw: a bit of violence, a bit of corruption, a bit of dark magic, but it's soft compared with the recs above)

Capitu (2008, T, online probably)

This is a series from 2008, and you probably won't find it in English. I hope I'm wrong, because Capitu is a bloody spectacular creation. It's a short series based in one of the most (if not THE most) aclaimed book of Brazilian literature: "Dom Casmurro" (1899) by Machado de Assis. It is, most definitely, one of my favourite books and author of all times, with unreliable narrator done as brilliant as heaven. It's a story about two teenagers who fall in love against their family approaval, and how, after years in the Seminar, Bentinho (the protagonist and narrator) goes back to Capitu (the girl, the mysterious love interest) and then, a lot of jealousy and shit happens. Anyways, the series is a bloody delight, they got theatre actors, they did not add a stable escenary and decided on a turning one, it's actually done as a play, you feel like you're in the theatre watching it happen in front of your eyes, mesmerised. Sometimes, I wish everyone understood Portuguese, bc honestly, this series is a dream come true. If you can't find it subbed, try to buy and read the book, you won't regret. I couldn't find a trailler in english but I found the videoclip for the series with Elephant Gun, the music theme of the opening. So I hope you all enjoy!

Aruanas (2019, E+, GloboPlay)

Next one on my list ! It's a political-corruption series about Enviromental Activism and Realistic Murder Mystery, probably based in real facts in Amazonia. The casting is TERRIFIC, I'm in love with all of them! Such great actresses. I can't wait to watch it. Seems pretty violent though, but very empowering for the activists out there, that like me, are fighting the good fight against a corrupt government and oppression of vulnerable communities.

(cw: violence, guns, murder, indigenous murder, sex. Probably a lot more, but I haven't watched yet, sorry)

I hope you all enjoy the recs! Don't watch if you think it's too much, take care of yourselves. And that's a wrap!

[indecentpause]

Hiii! I'd love love love it you hear you ramble on anything Devils related! But for a specific question, I'd love to know about Sigrun and her father, what was their relationship like?

Hope you're having a good day 🥰

Hi! Thank you thank you, I'm having a great day now that I've gotten this message! I hope you're having a good day, too!

cw: period typical racism (prohibition era), violence, murder

Sigrun's father was named Ahren, and he became the family boss before Sigrun was born. When her grandfather died, he specified that Ahren take over. There was some infighting for a while but Ahren put that to a pretty quick stop, because he was ruthless and his judgement was swift. He proved that might makes right in their family.

Sigrun is half-Black, white on her father's side and Black on her mother's. Her parents never married, and Sigrun didn't know her mother all that well, because she died when Sigrun was five. So she has some vague memories, but nothing super sentimental. Because of that, and the fact that Sigrun is an only child, Ahren was very present in her life, almost overbearingly so. Sigrun was twelve when she held a gun for the first time, fifteen the first time she killed someone.

While Ahren was ruthless with his enemies, and even his brothers, he always had a soft spot for the kids--not just Sigrun, but her whole generation. While he was ruthless, he was not cruel, and with his daughter and nieces and nephews he was very kind. There were a lot of gifts and outings and lots of physical affection. Ahren was the favorite uncle, legitimately, not just because he was the one with the most power, but because he was present, and because he cared.

Sigrun was an outcast with her aunts and uncles, because of being mixed-race (this takes place during Prohibition, remember). They wanted her shuffled off and hidden, a dirty little family secret. But Ahren loved Sigrun more than anything or anyone else in the world, and while it was hard when her mother was alive, once she died it was even harder on Sigrun, because her family was all old rich white guys or meek, mousy housewives (again, all white). She did not go to school because things were still segregated at the time this takes place. Instead, Ahren hired tutors for her so she could be sure to get a good education. She stopped classes when she was fourteen, but she needed to know what school had to teach her, especially numbers. But it was more specialized so it was more relevant to her eventual job in the family.

From the get go, Ahren wanted Sigrun involved in the business. He wasn't perfect and he had his prejudices, but he was relatively progressive for his time, and saw Sigrun as his child and legacy before he saw her as a little girl. He knew she would have to work ten times as hard as the others, for less than half the respect. So he taught her to be strong, solid, smart, and to take no shit.

Sigrun was there the night her father died. She, Ahren, Milo, Wolfgang, and Ulrich were all there, on what was supposed to be a standard truck-jacking. Everything was quiet and smooth until a shot rang out and Ahren went down with a bullet to the shoulder. A second shot in his head and he was dead.

In between the two shots, he was quick enough to manage to yell to Milo to get Sigrun out of there. Milo's an asshole but he's loyal, and Ahren knew if anyone here would be able to get her to safety, it was him. Sigrun tried to get to her father but Milo knocked her out with a pressure point for just long enough to throw her in the backseat of the car and speed out of there before she came to.

From the first shot to Sigrun and Milo's escape, it was all over in less than thirty seconds.

[sfblah]

Not so much a rant as a ramble, but here we go.

I’m mixed white and Asian (Korean specifically), and I’m not totally sure how to actually describe this feeling, but a lot of the time I feel like I’m basically “just” a white guy. For probably more than two thirds of my life, I basically only had white friends, teachers, acquaintances and so on, to the point where I was basically the closest thing to a token minority in my social circle. Outside of a few instances of people assuming I spoke Chinese or something, it never really felt like it though. I really only speak English, I’ve only ever visited Korea once, and I feel like I’ve had basically no exposure to the culture outside of the food.

I know I’ve lived a very privileged life, and I haven’t experienced systemic racism the way many people clearly have. I don’t know how much of this is just my anxiety talking, but even now I kind of worry that I’m saying this less to make a point and more just to go “waah don’t forget about meee,” and honestly I don’t even know what the truth is there myself. Heck, I stopped writing this right here for like 10 minutes and considered just deleting it and not saying anything, but to hell with it, let’s go.

More under the cut, likely CW for racism. I apologize in advance if any of the content or my attitude about it are offensive. I tend to get kind of blasé about this stuff as it applies to me, that’s just kinda how I’ve always handled it. I wouldn’t want to get jokey with anyone else’s experiences.

Probably the biggest thing I’ve picked up on as I’ve become more conscious of these things is that Asian characters in fetish stories and such are pretty much the same as Asian characters in American media as a whole: they practically don’t exist unless they’re being either stereotyped or fetishized. There are of course some counter examples that are always nice to see, but I’m sure everyone has at least unconsciously noticed that there are hardly any Asian characters in popular media who aren’t martial artists, doctors, or frail submissive uwu tradwives.

No guesses which of those is most common in snz fiction. I will say I wonder if things are different in the realms of fanfiction, and stories that focus more on male sneezing. But in that oh so special realm of straight men writing women for their own pleasure, Asian characters basically don’t exist unless somebody’s got mad yellow fever. Again I’m sure there are positive counter examples, or at least I hope there are, and I’m not throwing shade on any specific people. Except one, we’ll get to that.

I can only speak to my own experiences and I know one person can’t just tell you what is or isn’t okay when it comes to fetishization and representation. Well, it’s a lot easier to say what isn’t okay, I think you get what I mean. But at least to me, if you find physical features commonly associated with Asian ethnicities attractive, I think that’s totally fine. Be more eloquent about it than I am right now, but describe your characters’ monolid eyes and flat noses, more power to you. I know something I’ve struggled with is worrying that a baseline of describing what a character looks like will come across as fetishizing them, but there are perfectly fine ways to just be tactful about it. If those things that make you go doki doki are literally the only traits said character has, then maybe it’s time to take a step back and think about it, but hey, that’s an opportunity to learn.

Also I do need to own up myself, I’ve basically only written like three Asian characters ever, and yeah, pretty much every other character I’ve penned has been white. Even with characters I’ve created whose appearances and ethnicities are unspecified, if I’m being fully honest, they’re probably white in the theater of my mind, and I know that’s something I need to work on.

And now to close things out, some fun. You want your bad rep? I got your bad rep. I’m still not gonna name names, but let’s just say this guy is an honorless p’takh, and nine times out of ten he’s the one I’m referring to when I complain about the forum not properly hiding posts by people you’ve blocked.

Anyway, years ago I’d set up a little roleplay forum, separate from blue, but all you needed to do was follow the link and sign up. I can’t remember what the url is, it’s been a long time, but it’s probably still out there somewhere. I was doing an RP with this guy and a few other people, and our characters were trying to survive an alien invasion. (For anyone who knows me, this is probably the least surprising snz RP premise I could have come up with lmao.) Our characters had just gotten out of the city where we started, and our plan was to hide out in the woods.

This guy’s character was a young Japanese girl, and he didn’t join the RP until right around this point. Pretty much every single post he made was about how his character was so “traditional” and mysterious, and without any meaningful interaction with anyone else in the group, he had her split off from the group to go bathe in a river, assume all of our characters would be confused by her strange foreign ways and even outright hate her because of it, and then just straight up run away from the group and essentially quit the RP entirely.

At the time I didn’t really get what had even happened, and I just wrote it off as a weird RP experience. But a few years after that, I posted a story with one of those three Asian characters I’ve actually written. This guy sent me a PM not long after, told me how much he liked that character in particular, and asked if he could write his own story with her. I’m already not in the business of giving out my OCs for other people to write so I likely would have said no anyway, but this moment was what got me to connect the dots between there, that RP, and the greater context of what was happening.

Moral of the story is, I obviously can’t give anyone carte blanche to do whatever they want, but I think I can safely say that if you want to write Asian characters and are worried about coming across like you’re fetishizing them, as long as your heart is in the right place and you don’t do any of that stuff I just said, I’m willing to go on a little faith.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I know I probably still have big redditor energy even after all these years, but please do let me know if anything I’ve said is horribly offensive or just plain wrong. I mostly meant to just talk about my own experiences, but this is definitely something I know I still need to learn more about, and I wouldn’t want to be combative toward anyone trying to help in that.

[keplercryptids]

nonfiction LGBTQ+ books i read this year

i read a lot this year, and a good chunk of it was LGBTQ+ nonfiction. so i thought it might be nice to list what i read. as a note, many of these books deal with LGBTQ history in the United States. too often, mainstream US-centric LGBTQ texts focus on white middle-class cisgender folks, though I’ve done my best to balance that as much as possible with other perspectives. (that being said, if you got ‘em, i would LOVE book recommendations that tackle worldwide/non-white LGBTQ issues!)

Accessibility notes: Given the nature of the genre, there’s a lot of intense discussion re: homophobia and transphobia. Basically every book listed covers those things to some extent, and I’ve specified where there’s additional potentially triggering content. (If you have specific questions about triggers, please let me know!) also, some of these books are on the academic side. I’ve done my best to note when a book was very academic or when I found it to be more readable. (full disclosure on that note: I’m a college grad and voracious reader without any reading-specific learning disabilities, so my opinion may be different than yours!) as a final note, I was able to access most of these as e-books/audiobooks through my local library. I live in a major metropolitan area, if that gives you any idea of how easy it’ll be for you to find these books. I’ve noted when a book was more difficult to get my hands on.

History

Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World 1890-1940 by George Chauncey. As the title suggests, this book focuses on gay male communities in NYC pre-World War 2. Even with that limited scope, this is an important read to better understand gay male history in the early 20th century. Gay communities thrived in the early 1900s and this snapshot of that is really wonderful. This is definitely more of an academic read, but I highly recommend it. while it definitely focuses on white middle-class gay men, there was more discussion of poor and/or gay men of color than i had actually expected, so that’s nice. (CW for rape and sexual assault, homophobic violence and medicalization of homosexuality.)

Queering the Color Line: Race and the Invention of Homosexuality in American Culture by Siobhan B. Somerville. Finally, a book about queer history that actually talks about black people! I was expecting more of a history book, whereas this was more of a critique of specific novels, plays and movies of the early 1900s and was way more focused than i was expecting. don’t get me wrong, I majored in English lit so i’m super into that kind of analysis as well, it just wasn’t as far-reaching as I would have liked. Also, it’s very academic. (Only the print version was available at my library.) (CW for racism, mentions of slavery.)

Transgender History by Susan Striker. This book describes itself as an “approachable introductory text” to transgender history in the US, which I agree with. It’s a pretty short read given the enormity of the topic, so it doesn’t go into much detail about specific groups or events, but imo it’s a good introduction. Especially interesting to me was the information about where and when TERF ideology began. Academic but on the easier-to-read side. (CW for transphobia, gross TERF rhetoric, brief mentions of the AIDS crisis, police violence.)

Gay Revolution by Lillian Faderman. okay so, I gave this 1 star. it’s probably a good book if you know absolutely nothing about US LGBTQ history and want an intro, but a review on goodreads said that it should be called Gay Assimilation instead and i completely agree. Faderman focuses on white middle-to-upper class gay and lesbian assimilationists, often at the expense of radical queer and trans people of color. The latter is hardly mentioned at all, which is ridiculous given trans folks’ contributions to the LGBTQ movement. When radical people ARE mentioned, it’s often in a disparaging way, or in a way that positions the radicals as too extreme. Faderman constantly repeats the refrain that the fight for LGBT rights was “just like what black people did for their rights” without any addendum about why that is...not a good take. There’s no meaningful discussion of race, class or intersectionality. She lauds Obama as a hero for the gays and there’s a ton (I mean a TON) of content about how military acceptance + gay marriage = we won, or whatever. anyway, i wasn’t a fan, although many of the events and organizations discussed in this book are important to know just from a factual basis. (CW for all the stuff I mentioned, plus police violence, medicalization of homosexuality. it’s also fucking LONG so i recommend the audiobook, lol.)

Queer (In)Justice: The Criminalization of LGBT People in the United States by Joey L. Mogul,  Andrea J. Ritchie, and Kay Whitlock. This is “a searing examination of queer experiences--as ‘suspects,’ defendants, prisoners, and survivors of crime.” A frequently upsetting but super important read about how LGBTQ identities have been policed in the past, and currently are policed today. i wish there was more focus on trans folks, but other than that it’s a solid read. (CW for all the things you’d expect a book about policing and imprisoning LGBTQ folks to include: police and institutionalized violence, sexual assault, transphobia, homophobia.)

Stonewall by Martin Duberman. This book follows the lives and activism of six LGBTQ folks before, during and after the Stonewall riots. Note: Stonewall itself is only discussed in one chapter about 2/3 of the way through, the rest of the book dedicated to the six individuals’ lives and activism up to and after that point. It’s a history book with a strong narrative focus that I found to be a fairly accessible read. (CW for minors engaging in sex work and sexual predation by adults, sexual and domestic violence, police violence, drug and alcohol abuse, mentions of suicide.)

And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic by Randy Shilts. This is a HEAVY but really important read about the AIDS epidemic in the US, tracking the disease and the political/cultural response from about 1980-1985. It’s journalistic nonfiction, so although it’s a very long book I found it easier to read than more academic-y books. the only thing i really disliked was how the book demonized “Patient Zero” in quite unfair ways, but it was originally published in ‘87 so that explains part of it. I want to stress again that it’s heavy, as you’d expect a book about thousands of deaths to be. (CW: oh boy where to start. Graphic descriptions of disease/death, graphic descriptions of sex, medical neglect, republican nonsense.)

Memoirs, essays, etc

Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme edited by Ivan E. Coyote. i felt mixed about this one! i appreciated the different perspectives regarding gender and desire, especially since this anthology contains a lot of essays by people who came of age in the 60s-80s (so there’s a historical bent too). but some of the essays feel dated, at best, and offensive at worst. there was more than one instance of TERF-y ideology thrown in. probably 1/4 of the essays were really really great, and i’d still recommend reading it in order to form your own opinions--also, imo it’s useful to see where TERF ideology comes from. this book was harder to find, and i had to order a print version through interlibrary loan. (CW for a few TERFy essays. i read this earlier in the year so it’s possible i’m forgetting some other triggers, sorry!)

Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation by (editors) Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergman. Serving as a follow-up of sorts to Bornstein’s Gender Outlaw, this is a collection of narratives by transgender and gender-nonconforming folks. While not “history” in a technical sense, many of the writers are 30+ and give a wide array of LGBTQ+ experiences, past and present, that are important. I didn’t agree with every single viewpoint, of course, duh! But some of the essays were really powerful and overall it’s a good read. (CW for one essay about eating disorders, some outdated language/reclaimed slurs as to be expected--language is one of the main themes of the collection actually so the “outdatedness” is important.)

S/He by Minnie Bruce Pratt. A memoir published in 1995, focusing on Minnie’s life, marriage, gender identity, eventual coming out and relationship with Leslie Feinberg. i really enjoyed this one. it was beautifully written. there are many erotic elements to this memoir so keep that in mind. also was a little harder to get, and i had to order a print version via interlibrary loan. (i read this awhile ago and can’t remember specific triggers, sorry! if anyone knows of some, please let me know.)

I’m Afraid of Men by Vivek Shraya. A memoir by a trans woman ruminating on masculinity. it’s beautiful and very short (truly more of a longform essay), so it’s a good one if you don’t have the attention span/time for longer books. (CW for sexism, harassment, transphobia.)

Zami: A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde. god, this memoir is gorgeous and is one of my favorite books of the year. it chronicles Audre’s childhood in Harlem and her coming-of-age in the 1950s as a lesbian. ultimately, this is a book about love and that resonates throughout every page. idk can you tell i loved this book so much??? (CW for child abuse, sexual assault, a friend’s suicide, racism.)

We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir by Samra Habib. suuuuch a good book! Samra writes about her life as she and her family arrive in Canada as refugees from Pakistan in her early childhood, onto her life today as a queer Muslim woman of color, photographer and activist. beautifully written and just such an important perspective. Only the print version was available at my library. (CW for child sexual assault, a suicide attempt and suicidal ideation, non-graphic mentions of domestic violence, racism and sexism.)

Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kababe. this is a beautifully illustrated graphic novel memoir about the author’s journey of discovering eir identity as queer. i related to a lot of it, which was great on a personal level, but i also think it could be a great educational tool for those wanting to know more about gender queerness (especially for those who prefer graphic novels!) (CW for gender dysphoria, descriptions of gynecological exams, imagery of blood and a couple pages depicting being impaled, some nudity, vomit.)