#cw kissing mention

[beebisbeeble]

"would you kiss any of your friends for a million dollars" dude I would fucking do it for free if they asked. I love my friends. they could tell me to do a little jig and I would!!!!!!!!

[steddieas-shegoes]

cw: discussion of past parental death due to overdose, mention of drug use

Steve stumbled upon the article when he was helping Robin collect articles for a project for her Industry Studies course.

He didn’t think much of reading about another small time musician getting caught up with the wrong crowd, and overdosing or getting in a drunk driving accident. It seemed like a pretty common theme. It was terrible, sad, horrible, but he’d seen about 30 stories like that in the last two days and he was kind of getting numb to it all.

Until he saw the name Munson.

Until a picture of a woman with long, curly hair and Eddie’s smile stared back at him next to a headline that read: “Kentucky Country Queen Dead at 27.”

He read the article with tears in his eyes.

Elizabeth “El” Munson, a hopeful country singer and guitarist, was found dead in her home by her six year old son, Edward. The boy reportedly tried calling his father at work with no luck before finally calling his uncle, Wayne Munson.

Toxicology reports show that she overdosed on multiple illegal substances. At this time, it is believed to have been accidental and no foul play is suspected.

It has now been made clear that Elizabeth was seeking a divorce from her husband, Al Munson, but had not been successful as lawyers were unable to locate him until her funeral. Their son has been put in the care of Wayne until further notice.

Robin found him 20 minutes later, staring at the page with swollen, red eyes. She took the paper, read the article, and put it back in the files wordlessly.

“I don’t think he wants us to know,” she finally said.

She was probably right.

But Steve had grown pretty close to Eddie over the last six months, had opened up to him about his parents, his fake friends, his concussions and nightmares. Eddie had started opening up to him, too.

He thought he had, anyway.

He told him about how his mom died when he was young and his dad was awful so he moved in with Wayne. He told him about how his dad appeared every couple years looking for money or a place to stay and Wayne always turned him away.

But he never really talked about his mom, always said he barely remembered her.

Did he know what happened?

——

Steve asked Wayne the next morning.

He’d come by to pick Eddie up for a day with the kids, but Eddie hadn’t set his alarm and was still asleep.

Perfect opportunity to find out more.

“So. Eddie’s mom.”

Wayne tensed over his plate of toast and scrambled eggs. He didn’t look up, just took another bite of food.

“Does he know how she died?”

“Do you?”

“Newspaper said overdose,” Steve tapped his fingers nervously against his thigh. “Says Eddie found her.”

“Trauma messes with your memory.”

It was final, a statement that left Steve with more questions, but a certainty that he’d get no answers.

“Yeah.” He gulped. “I’ve heard.”

——

Steve doesn’t bring it up to Eddie for a while.

He figured Wayne’s reaction said a lot about what Eddie knew or would be willing to share.

But they were a little high and alone and Eddie’s hand was warm in his and his filter was broken.

“I’m sorry you had to be the one to find your mom.”

The air around them was thick. The silence was deafening.

“Me too.”

Eddie’s voice was quiet, nothing like his usual playful tone.

Steve immediately wanted to put this conversation in reverse, pretend his curiosity didn’t matter.

“I’m sorry.”

Eddie moved closer to Steve, his arm a constant pressure against Steve’s. His head leaned against Steve’s shoulder.

“Wayne doesn’t know I know how she died. He doesn’t know I know my dad gave her bad drugs, convinced her all the up and coming musicians were doing a new strain of heroin. She’d kicked him out of the house,” Eddie’s breath caught. “She shouldn’t have let him come back that day. I heard them arguing before I left for school. She told him she was finding a manager and recording an album and that she was divorcing him. I didn’t know what that meant, but I knew it was bad.”

“Eds, you don’t have to tell me.”

“I know, Stevie. But you know everything else.” Eddie’s face turned until his nose and mouth were pressed against Steve’s arm. “I went to school. Didn’t think about it. Figured my dad would be gone when I got home and might come back in a few days once they cooled off. But when I got home, he was gone and my mom’s bedroom door was closed. And I opened it and there she was.”

Steve turned so he was face to face with Eddie, cupping his jaw and rubbing his thumb along his cheek in encouragement.

“I don’t even know why I tried calling the store first. I didn’t even know if he still worked there. But then I called Wayne and it’s like he just knew.” Eddie’s eyes closed for a moment. “Don’t think he’d ever gotten to our house so quick.”

“Did he know all this?”

“He knew enough. I stayed with him and then my dad gave up his rights. Lied to the counselor about what I knew so Wayne wouldn’t freak. Kept it up for a while,” Eddie let out a small exhale that slightly resembled a laugh. “I read the article about eight years ago. A kid in my class made a joke about me being an orphan because of the drug problem in America as if he even knew what that meant and I decided to see what the newspaper reported.”

“Do you play because of her?” Steve asked.

Eddie blinked back at him.

“I play for a lot of reasons. But I started because of her, yeah,” he whispers. “You’re the first person to ask me that instead of give me that look of pity.”

“I’m sad about how it happened, but giving you pity doesn’t change it. I’d rather hear how it changed you,” Steve whispered back.

They were close, legs intertwined, hands touching bare skin under shirts and on faces and necks.

“It changed everything for me. Wayne packed us up and moved us here as soon as he legally could. Probably for the best. Well,” Eddie gave a small smile. “Definitely for the best. Wouldn’t be here with you if he hadn’t.”

“Do you ever go back?” Steve did his best to ignore the fluttering in his stomach.

“Her birthday every year. She’s got a nice spot near her mom.” Eddie bit his lip. “It’s actually coming up in a couple weeks. Maybe you could come with me?”

“Me? Are you sure?”

Eddie nodded. “If it doesn’t weird you out that I talk to her. I like to give her updates on my life, Wayne’s life, music. Think she’d find it quite funny that I bring the guy I’ve had a crush on for two years.”

It takes a minute for the words to sink in.

“Two years?” Steve’s lips curled up into a smile. “I hope I live up to expectations.”

“I think she’d like you. She’d definitely make fun of me for having a boyfriend who wears polos though.”

“Is that how you’d introduce me?”

“If you’re okay with it.” Eddie leaned his forehead against Steve’s. “I know we haven’t talked about what we-“

Steve pressed his lips to Eddie’s, nearly knocking their noses together painfully in the process.

After the initial shock, they both relaxed into the kiss.

“I’d love to go. As your boyfriend,” Steve said after pulling away for air. “What was her favorite flower?”

“Gardenias. Always wore perfume that smelled like it. Why?”

“Because I have to impress her, right?”

“You realize she’s not gonna actually see or hear you? She’s definitely dead.”

Steve snorted. “I know. But she can still have nice things. Maybe us bringing her nice things in death is a way to apologize for the not nice things she had in life.”

“You’re a pretty incredible boyfriend, sweetheart.” Eddie kissed the tip of his nose. “And you now know more than Wayne, so it’s time for a pinky promise.”

Steve giggled before holding up his pinky. “I swear I won’t tell Wayne anything.”

“And you’ll kiss me whenever I want…”

“That’s a guarantee.”

“And you’ll let me win at Go Fish…”

“Not a chance, Eds.”

Eddie laughed. “Worth a try.”

Steve curled his pinky against Eddie’s. “So do you think she’d like me?”

“Oh. Oh god. She’d love you. You’re exactly who she’d want for me,” Eddie rolled his eyes when Steve flipped his hair back confidently. “And she’d braid your hair every night while you gossiped and sipped tea.”

“And what would you do?”

“Probably just soak it in. Appreciate having her and you around. You’ll just have to gossip with Wayne.”

“Wayne doesn’t strike me as-“

“Oh, he’s got you fooled! He’s a worse gossip than the ladies at the hair salon. Just ask him about the mailbox at the end of the road sometime. Make sure you’ve got an hour to spare.”

“Really?” Steve’s eyes lit up. “Is he home now?”

Eddie pulled Steve forward until he was flush against his front. “No and I have much better plans than gossiping with my uncle.”

“Oh?” Steve’s brow raised.

“It involves my bed and handcuffs. You in?”

“Hopefully you’re in.”

“God, you’re ridiculous. C’mon, now I’m even harder from your stupid flirting,” Eddie sat up and tugged until Steve followed. “Can’t believe this is how my night’s going.”

“Believe it, baby.”

[zal-cryptid]

Misfits in Toyland

Play Date, pages 57-61

[ebongawk]

ok ok ok ok ok HOW ABOUT a drunken kiss with hellcheer 👀 and if u make it sad so help me god i WILL fly to u and beat ur ass

4. A Drunken Kiss

They were playing fucking spin the bottle.

What kind of full-fledged high school seniors played spin the bottle? Wasn't that reserved for, like, thirteen-year-olds? But Stacie Mancini had drunkenly shouted, "Oh, my God, we should play a game!" and someone had suggested this, so now a bunch of almost-twenty-somethings were gathered in a half-assed circle as an empty bottle of vodka spun around and around.

Stacie landed on Andy Fuckface, and she looked mildly disgusted, which. Good for her. She still sucked his face for a solid five seconds. Andy landed on Tracy Mathews, Tracy landed on Jason Carver. Jason didn't even look at his fucking girlfriend before he stuck his tongue down Tracy's throat.

Chrissy, for all intents and purposes, looked like she didn't even want to be there. She flinched when Jason leaned toward the center, but otherwise made no show of being an active participant in the game.

And Eddie, with his front row seat to the action from the dealer's perch in the corner, had to wonder why no one seemed to fucking notice how uncomfortable she was.

Staying sober for these gigs was a goddamn chore. While it used to be fun to watch the chaos and debauchery unfold, being privy to the disgusting nature of inebriated human teenagers got old.

Maybe he was a little cynical. Because this shit had stopped being fun around the exact same time he caught the aforementioned Ball-Fondling Carver sneaking upstairs at a different party with Theresa Peretti.

It was the first and only time he'd ever considered getting involved.

Like, okay, so maybe sometimes he felt a little bad when he caught people who had significant others mackin' on those who were not the aforementioned significant others. But fuck it. Not his circus, not his monkeys, right?

He'd ruined that little unspoken rule of his that Monday at school. Seeking Chrissy out, small and drawn and sad as she was, and had straight up told her what he saw. No beating around the bush, no bullshitting.

Whether or not that had anything to do with the fact that Chrissy treated him like an actual human being was meaningless.

She'd just blinked at him. Then, instead of the anger or upset he'd been expecting, she let out this vague little laugh.

"Oh. Um. Thanks, Eddie, but... Could you maybe keep this between us?"

"What? Did you hear me, Cunningham? That asshole--"

"No, I know. And, truly, I appreciate you telling me. Just... Just trust me, okay? I'll handle it."

He'd wanted to scream. To rip his own hair out and throw it at her like that would lift the starry-eyed curtain she was clearly hiding behind. But that was, like, two months ago, and he still saw her tucked under Carver's arm day in and day out, so Eddie had resigned himself to bearing witness to her silent suffering on the off chance he caught a glimpse of her in the hallway or any of their shared classes.

Why the fuck anyone would stay with a whole ass cheater made no sense, so Eddie stopped trying to understand the popularity masses.

"Oh, shit, that's pointing at the freak," someone whispered, drawing Eddie's attention out of his own head and back into Chance Kinicki's hazy basement. He blinked, meeting Chrissy's gaze from the other side of the room, and put the pieces together.

It had finally been her turn to spin the bottle, and it had landed between two of the nearer bodies and was trained on him.

Which. What the fuck.

"Nah, man, let her spin again," Carver slurred, waving a loose wrist in the air. "She's not gonna lock lips with trash. Right, babe?"

Oh, he was such an asshole. Eddie wanted to knock him down a peg or five. Preferably while sober, so he wouldn't have the excuse of his intoxication to blame getting his ass handed to him by quote-end-quote trash.

Chrissy said nothing. She just stared at him, wearing something in her expression that Eddie couldn't identify. After a few tense, quiet seconds, Chrissy stood, stumbling a little through her own drunkenness, and made her way across the room. Shaking off Jason's grabby hands as she stepped around people and bottles before coming to a swaying stop directly in front of Eddie.

"Hi," she muttered, looking down at him with ruddy cheeks and glassy eyes.

Shit. Shit. What the fuck was happening? Eddie's hands twitched where they were sitting on his thighs, staring up at her like she was an angel come to deliver some new commandment.

Thou Shalt Not Lust After Unattainable Girls Who Are a Little Too Intoxicated to Make a Rational Decision. Or something.

"Uh," he managed, the word strangled up from his throat like she'd wrapped her dainty little fists around it. Like all of his oxygen already belonged to her. Fuck, all the oxygen in the room belonged to her. "Hey, Cunningham."

"'M supposed to kiss you," she continued, tilting her head to one side as her eyes wandered along the grooves of his face. Settling on his lips once she'd taken her fill. "The game says so."

"I wasn't playing the game, princess," Eddie reminded her gently, glancing around her to see the audience watching them with rapt eyes.

Chrissy just shrugged. Like that was enough of an explanation.

"That's okay," she answered. "The bottle knew, Eddie. Right? It knew that I..."

Then, before he could react or breathe or fucking think, she was petting his hair back from his face, leaning down, and pressing a slow, soft kiss right to his lips. Like a fucking deer in the middle of the road, he froze, unable to parse together half a thought that wasn't whoa.

Fucking fireworks.

He finally got enough wits about himself to pull away, because she was drunk and he wasn't and none of this was right, which wasn't fair but that was neither here nor there.

"Oh," she breathed, blinking at him, some of the haze in her eyes clearing. Her cheeks had gone even pinker, lips still half-puckered like she wanted to lean back in and taste him all over again.

"Hey!" Jason barked, struggling to stand from the floor, blazing eyes staring daggers at Eddie. "Get off her, freak!"

Dude, he wasn't even touching her.

"Shove it, Jason," Chrissy responded before Eddie could ask him if he was serious. She leaned toward Eddie, half-shielding him with her body, and he really thought she was gonna fall into his lap, she was so goddamn unsteady. She managed to stay firmly planted, using a hand on his shoulder to keep herself straight, and actually stuck her tongue out at her boyfriend.

Eddie wanted to die, it was so fucking cute.

"Babe--"

"I'm dumping you."

The fucking gasps that erupted across the room were actually comical. Eddie couldn't have stopped himself from laughing if he'd tried. Which, he did not, because it was too goddamn funny. The cackle he let out drew the attention to him, but, Jesus, fucking worth it.

Before he realized what was even happening, Chrissy was taking his hand, pulling him along behind her as she escaped up the stairs. Her considerable strength barely gave him a moment to grab his box of tricks as she hauled him from his gig as the weekend fun-bringer.

Why he was part of her little storm-out, he couldn't explain. But he wasn't exactly unhappy about it, either. As it was, for effect, he raised a devil horn at Jason's flabbergasted glare on his way out.

"Wow," Chrissy said as they escaped into the chilly April night. "Wow! I just did that!"

"Yeah, uh––"

"Oh, shoot, we gotta get outta here," Chrissy stated, glancing back over her shoulder. Grimacing and rushing him toward his van just as the front door of Chance's house swung open, an absolutely irate Carver standing in the muted light.

They ran, Chrissy surprisingly steady on her feet, and laughed the whole way to his van. He unlocked the passenger seat, diving across the center console and yanking Chrissy in after him. Carver had slipped at one point, the alcohol probably rushing around painfully in his head, and was struggling back to his feet just as the rest of the laundry basket team finally came out. Chance and Patrick were both obviously trying to hold back their laughter, but Eddie didn't bother finding out what happened next.

He started the van and peeled the fuck outta there.

Chrissy was still laughing, although it was much quieter now. No longer filling the night air with little tinkling notes of her joy, it was more like the soft music of wind chimes outside. Following them as they ate a few miles of concrete in the otherwise sleepy town.

"So, uh. You want me to take you home, or––?"

"No." He kinda expected her to be staring out the windshield or her window, but instead she was looking directly at him. Not offering him a modicum of relief from the weight of her gaze. "I do not want to go home like this, Eddie."

"Uh..."

"Can we, like, go to the lake or something? Please?"

Well, how the fuck was he supposed to say no to that?

The back of the van was stuffed full of blankets, pillows, a mattress from Gareth's younger brother's bunk bed and a few couch cushions off the spare couch on the porch, because he and the guys had gone down to Indianapolis to see Metallica during the week and had slept in the van instead of coughing up the dough for a motel room.

Chrissy made herself right at home, making the bed until it was nice and soft before throwing open the back doors of the van where he'd parked at Rick's house. Staring out over the lake as it twinkled with starlight. Like a bunch of white Christmas lights were hidden beneath the lapping waves.

He sat next to her, trying to breathe around the way she cuddled into him like she fit right in the circle of his arms. Which. Yeah. She did, but if he thought about it too much, he'd drive himself crazy, so.

They talked a little bit about how she'd just publicly dumped her boyfriend. About how relieved she was, now that the farce was finally over, because she'd been wanting to do that since way before he told her about the cheating. How happy she was to be there with him.

Which. He didn't know how to comprehend that, really. So he let it sit in the air, soft and gentle as the breeze that made music of the leaves outside, and breathed it in. Pulling it into his lungs like her little admission would coast through the oxygen in his blood and make itself part of his fucking DNA.

"Hey, Eddie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you again?"

God, how was she so cute? The sleepy cadence of her tone, still slightly slurred with alcohol.

Shit. Denying her felt stupid as fuck.

"Ask me again when you're sober, yeah?" he said, desperately playing at lighthearted. "Might change your mind in daylight."

"Mmm," she hummed, her voice so fucking adorable. "Doubt it."

Hand to God, he hadn't fucking meant to fall asleep. He didn't know where Chrissy lived, exactly, but he figured he'd let her sleep off the drunk for a little bit before he roused her awake and got her address.

Yeah. Stupid move on his part, awakening when the sun hit his eyes first thing in the morning.

Because now he knew, intimately, the way Chrissy blinked back into consciousness in the morning light. The way the sun's rays, just barely peeking up over the wooded horizon, hit her hair and made it glow like fire. The way she sniffled, looking around in confusion before her eyes landed on him.

The way she smiled, bright enough that her eyes slipped closed and her nose scrunched up.

"Morning," she breathed, rolling over from where she'd been plastered to his side so she could stretch. Said so casually, like she wasn't ruining his entire fucking life just by existing.

"Uh," he started, his voice gravelly. Half-choked and terribly embarrassing. "Morning, Cunningham. Shit. Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

Chrissy hummed, finished with her stretching. Then, like it was the most natural thing in the world, she rolled right back into him. Tucking her face into his shoulder for effect.

Yeah. He was dead. He'd, at some point between school yesterday and Chance Kinicki's house, died, and now he was having those crazy imaginations where his unstated dreams were coming true.

"'S'okay," Chrissy mumbled into his chest. Prompting him to wrap his arms back around her. Because why the fuck not? "I, um. I definitely didn't mind."

Yeah. Heart attack. Stroke. Car accident. Something.

"Hey, Eddie?"

"Yep?" God, the way his voice broke, you'd think he was going through fucking puberty again.

"Can I kiss you again now?" A breath, like she heard the way his goddamn heart skipped a beat, before she added, "I promise I'm sober now."

Oh fuck him.

"You, uh––" He coughed, clearing his throat. "You actually want to?"

Shit, she giggled, and he fucking felt it against his ribs.

"Yeah," she said, easy as pie. Easy as Sunday morning. Easy as anything. "Yeah, I've, um. I've wanted to for, like, a while now."

He would've sworn he felt Cupid's arrow hit his blackened little heart.

"Chrissy, you can kiss me whenever you want," he croaked. "Like, uh. Now, later, tomorrow. Y'know. Open real estate here for you."

Christ, that giggle. He wanted to swallow her whole.

She tilted her chin back, that gorgeous grin lighting up his dingy van better than any spotlight ever could.

"That's good," she murmured, staring up at him. "'Cause I get the feeling I'll take you up on every offer."

Jesus Christ, he hoped so.

(And she did.)

kiss prompt!

(and a very happy birthday to @astorytotellyourfriends 😘🩷🖤)

[saltpepperbeard]

getting so emotional over the fact that ed was fully ready to give up, and was entirely convinced that there was no point of continuing on anymore, and now he's peacefully residing in a little seaside inn with the love of his life.

[junespriince]

Winged heart au

Wally, open his front door, sees a very out of it Nightwing on his floor: finally decided to sleep like us common folks?

Dick, giggling: no, just high? I think? Are you real? Am I real? Are anyone of us real?

Wally:

Wally: oh no, not an existential crisis on my floor, that's for me to do wondering if I made the right decision and stuff. Why are you here anyways, ain't you heroes have places to go?

Dick: feel safe here, and a pretty man live here, he so pretty like, really pretty,,,, pretty.

Wally, senses DC bs they put Dick through: okay, let's uh, let's get you to bed so whatever you're on can get through your system... God, leave a family of fast healers now babysitting the to be determined human heros,,,, *picks up Dick far to easily* oh that's not good—

Next day

Dick, wakes up worried, frantic, not in his bed:

Wally, sleeping in the chair beside his bed unfortunately uncomfortable:

Dick, noticed everything still on him, nothing different, tries to leave but boy failed:

Wally, looking at Dick on the floor: finally awake Nightwing and was going to leave after I put your high ass to bed.

Dick: sorry...

Wally: save it, you want breakfast? The answer is yes, you're way too light.

Dick: uh thanks... Did we do anything?

Wally: I picked you off my floor, you passed out on the way to my bed, I tucked you in and watched you so you didn't die. Your family broke my other window, again, and my vase my mother picked out, and now you are awake. French toast or waffles?

Dick, shocked he didn't has his autonomy taken from him: um waffles.

Wally: cool, uh you can use my shower if you like, and I have these *sunglasses* Robin says the adhesive for your mask can get irritating soooo yeah, I'll make those waffles. *Leaves*

Dick:

Dick: I'm going to marry him.

Barbara, who bugged Dick so she can keep him safe: dude, the bar is in HELL.

Dick: don't care I'm wifeing him up.

[jfleamont]

@jilytoberfest @jilymicrofics - 337 words - Week 2 Prompt:

Smoke

“I am finished.”

“You're not.”

“McGonagall is going to take my Head Girl badge away.”

Lily was looking straight ahead, and if the circumstances had been different he would have thought that she was just enjoying the view from the Astronomy tower, but she was avoiding his gaze.

“Oh, come on, she only saw you smoke, and she didn't say a word. And, she's seen me doing worse things.”

She shook her head. “You should have seen the look on her face! And it's different, James... No offence, but you're not risking much. You're a pureblood.”

“McGonagall isn't.”

Her head turned so fast that he was afraid she got whiplash. “What?”

“Her dad's a muggle. And you know she doesn't care about that stuff. It's our first week back and you're just nervous, I get it, but you're overthinking this. Plus, it's not like it was, you know... pot,” he whispered the last word, shooting her a knowing look.

“I don't know what you're referring to.”

She had a great poker face, he had to admit it.

“Mmh. I probably just dreamt that you were high as a hippogriff this summer at my house.”

“Yes.”

“And I must have imagined you trying to ride Sirius's bike, right?”

The left corner of her mouth turned up, and a dimple appeared. “You have a creative mind, what can I say?”

“Lily,” he admonished her.

“James,” her chin high in defiance, a challenge in her eyes.

He raised one eyebrow, and that was all it took to break both of them. Her laugh was loud and bright, and she had regained that mischievous glint in her eyes.

He recovered first and, still smiling, leaned on the railing again, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

“You know, I broke into Minnie's office once. I'm 96% sure she has a secret stash of catnip and if she catches you while you're high, I'll get that for you so you can blackmail her.”

“Ah, my knight in shining armour.”

[cynamonowo]

someone stop me from making those (lie)

[locklylenerd77]

Aziracrow kiss scene analysis

Okay, so we've all seen it.

But what does it mean? Today I'm going to talk about Aziraphale and Crowley's kiss.

Viewpoints

Firstly, there are numerous ways to view this scene, including assault, romance, desperation, and an attempt at communication. I won't be talking about all of these, but I do want to delve deeper into the body language of Aziraphale and Crowley.

It's not "cute".

Firstly, this kiss wasn't romantic, gentle, or tender. Crowley grabs Aziraphale by the collar and basically smashes his lips onto Aziraphale's. It's quite an aggressive kiss, throwing them both off-balance. They sway a little, both of them very still, and neither of them pull away or deepen the kiss. It's obvious neither of them know how to kiss, and I think this makes it unpleasant for them both. We see Crowley holding Aziraphale for quite some time but nothing happens. He doesn't pull away to see if Aziraphale is okay, or use body language to make Aziraphale feel more comfortable. He's got no idea what the purpose of the kiss is, but its the last thing he can do. The kiss wasn't romantic, it was a culmination of the prior 6000 years.

Aziraphale's reaction

Secondly, Aziraphale is very clearly in shock. He gradually closes his eyes and places his hands on Crowley's back. It seems to me that this is him trying to "kiss back", except he obviously doesn't know how, and he's confused and angry at the same time. He looks distressed, which could be because of the situation, but also because he's trying to decide what to do. He doesn't want to hurt Crowley by shoving him away in disgust, or kiss him passionately back. They're both in new waters.

It's important to note that Crowley seems to release Aziraphale and not the other way round. He's the instigator of the kiss. Aziraphale is breathing heavily afterwards, on the verge of tears, and this signals to the audience that he's panicking slightly. I think this is because it couldn't be more clear now that he and Crowley are in love. There's no room for ambiguity or questioning- Crowley's defined his feelings (and their relationship) now, and through a human action.

Although they were both aware of their love, they were also both comfortable in their relationship, and perfectly happy going on dates, sharing property, calling each other pet names, and hearing others refer to them as a couple (at least, they don't deny it most of the time). To summarise, the kiss wasn't needed. Defining their relationship by human means was unneeded. Aziraphale is upset and disgusted because the action is so unnecessary, so unlike them. Crowley's trying to fit them into a mould as a desperate attempt of preserving the relationship. Crowley's confession might have been a way of indirectly asking for reassurance, or making their pre-existing relationship more physically intimate, but its's not a get-down-on-one-knee "will you go to nandos with me" imogen-from-heartstopper. His confession also clearly doesn't change anything, because Aziraphale doesn't recoil in shock, or even react much. He knows Crowley loves him, but he doesn't communicate that. So Crowley, thinking Aziraphale has misunderstood him, tries again.

Why kiss?

I think it's crucial that we understand that the kiss isn't a confirmation of their love. Crowley has already stated that they could've been "us", and that "he would like to spend" his existence with Aziraphale. The kiss is a reinforcement of what's already been said, and Crowley instigates it because he's trying to communicate with Aziraphale through human behaviours to bridge their contrasting perspectives.

This fails.

Crowley and Aziraphale already know they love one another. The kiss was a "stay with me, I love you" from Crowley, and an "I know, it's more complicated than that" from Aziraphale in response, but neither of them see it that way. Crowley was trying to make it clear how he feels, when that wasn't the problem. Nothing was unaddressed after Crowley's speech, and the kiss was an unexpected and confusing event for them both. Crowley never planned this- their bad communication has just reached a point where he's desperately trying to make Aziraphale understand him using any tool he can.

My thoughts

I think the true function of this kiss is to highlight their dysfunctional relationship. They can't communicate, so they fill in that gap with apology dances, protecting one another, and human interactions like kissing. They're so far apart in perspective and worldview that the only way to communicate is through a common thing they are both familiar with, which is human behaviour.

The reason Aziraphale is so upset, from my interpretation, is that the kiss changes nothing. They're both talking at one another and not listening, not compromising or attempting to understand each other's views. Aziraphale and Crowley both talked the talk, and the kiss is just Crowley repeating his earlier words. Essentially, Crowley's still not listening. They still aren't communicating.

We view kissing as a romantic interaction between two people to show mutual affection. For Crowley, it's not that. It's a final, desperate resort. "This is how I feel, can't you understand? I'm going to make you understand in the only way I know how that I have left!" But Aziraphale does understand, and he agrees. He just wants them to be together under different circumstances because he's in a toxic relationship with heaven and he thinks he can change it for better.

Summary

-the kiss wasn't romantic, it was just passionate

-Aziraphale isn't disgusted, he's confused and devastated because they've failed to communicate again, and they can't reach an understanding

-The kiss doesn't change their relationship, it just defines it, and neither of them really wanted to define it. We see multiple people pressure them into a "relationship", from calling them an "item" to interrogating Crowley about their status (he's not anybody's "bit on the side"!), and this causes Crowley to want reassurance, especially after their relationship has weakened slightly due to the stress of recent events concerning heaven, hell, Gabriel and Beelzebub, and poor communication. He confesses due to not only insecurity, but others changing his viewpoint of his relationship.

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Thanks for reading my essay I have too much free time

[genghisthebrain]

if i'm in ever a coma just play the audio from all of glee s3e7 i kissed a girl and i'm gonna wake up just to punch finn hudson in the face

[femboysoap]

god being high and horny is the best isnt it? i love the idea of getting stoned with another cute trans boy, making out with the smoke around us and our hands feeling a million times hotter against our intoxicated skin, breathing heavy and grinding our hips together,,,,,, *sighhhh*

I loveeeee being high cause it just makes me sooo fucking needy... i have 2 cones and suddenly theres a waterfall between my legs..

Nghhh god that would be the best rn... sleepy high makeout session turned passionate sex is on my to-do list

[bunny-lovers]

Any unanswered questions from the f/o takeover ask game? ^^

Hope you have a great day & thank you for the ask! 😊 @selfshipping-tboy @lookingupatthesamemoon @batwingstew

⛱️ - if you could take s/i anywhere, where would it be and why?

"I’d choose Bali, it has stunningly beautiful nature and has meditation and yoga."

🗒️ - what are your favorite details about s/i that you think more people should notice?

"She's a fast walker & moves her hands while she's talking."

💘 - at what point did you realize you fell in love? what was your initial reaction? what was theirs?

"It was when she and I were at the coffee café, just after a week I saved her from the villain. While she was talking to me about herself, I started to fell in love with her. It was so unexpected, it was just so sudden. Her reaction was happy feelings when she fell in love with me when we were at the coffee café.”

📙 - if you had to use one trope to describe your relationship, what would it be?

"Love at first sight."

🌟 - describe how you met

"Rebecca and I met when I saved her from the villain. After I beat the villain, I went up to her, asking her if she was okay. She almost couldn’t speak ‘cause of how strong & badass I am. About a week after I saved her, she saw me again walking in the street. She walked up to me & thank me for saving her. I said it’s no problem, I’m just hopping around & kicking the bad guys’ butts! She smiled at me, admiring her of how strong I am. She blushed when I said that. I noticed she was blushing and asked her what she was blushing about. She told me ever since I saved her, she started to have feelings for me. It caught me off guard when she said that, I said in a calm voice saying how very sweet of her, I called her little bunny and said she was cute when her face is red. She asked me if she want to have a coffee date with her and I said yes. After asking me out, she & I gave each other our phone numbers and started to call & text each other. Rebecca & I had our coffee date together and that was our first date. After the coffee date, she and I walked somewhere private, it’s just me & her. Rebecca and I looked into each others’ eyes, having arms around each other, we both lean in and had our first kissed."

💌 - describe your first date. was it a success, awkward, etc.?

"Our first date was taking a stroll and it was a success."

📺 - what's your favorite movie to watch together?

"Inside Out!"

👻 - which of you gets scared easier? any funny stories involving getting scared?

"Rebecca gets scared easier than me. No, there isn't any funny stores involving getting scared."

💋 - describe your first kiss (if you've had one)

"My first kiss was soft and sweet."

💬 - who confessed first?

"Rebecca did since she admitted to me that she had feelings for me after I saved her from the villain."

🧀 - what's your cheesiest petname for s/i, and what's theirs for you? any other funny petnames you use for each other?

"My cheesiest pet name for Rebecca is baby cakes, she doesn't like it and her for me would be honeybun. We just call each other normal ones like "love" and "babe".

💤 - which of you is the "i need 5 more blankets and the heat on when im sleeping" one and which of you is the "it's too hot in here im turning on the fan you MANIAC" one?

"Rebecca is the first one and I'm the second one."

🪱 - MOST IMPORTANTLY…would you still love them if they were a worm?

"Yes, I would still love her!"

[blueberrypancakesworld]

My natural drug ~ Kappa x fem reader ~ Part.2

warning : +18 minors don't interact, smut, shibari, use of rope, rope play, p in v, kissing, cuddle, use of drugs, implied/referenced high (on weed), marking/biting, cult leader, reader is female, fluff, comfort, alcohol, no use of Y/n

Part.1

masterlist

Info : It's finally done and I could not be more proud of myself the smut was fun and a little challeging to write but for him always. In general this whole thing is longer than I had planned it but writing is writing and I just love it. I hope you have fun while reading it and see you next time ;)

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At some point, the ticking of the clock seemed barely audible to her. It blended too much with the radio, which was still playing. The bell on the door, however, had stopped ringing after the visit of the mysterious man. The whole shop was filled with the ticking of the clock and the radio.

As well as the same rapid typing of her fingers from the calculator. The young woman had been trying to deal with the calculations for the last two hours and not be distracted by the clock or the noise.

Although she was normally quick with the calculator and knew how to enter the evening's income, she only made a mistake today. This can't be right, she thought and deleted the numbers again, which were far too high to start again.

But no sooner had she started again than her eyes glanced at the piece of paper lying next to her, just waiting for her to take it in her hands again. Sighing, she looked at the clock and saw that she still had an hour.

She still had an hour to kill before she could storm out of here. Pulling herself together, she finished the bills before she picked up the paper again, almost feeling better. She read the number and the place over and over again. But she didn't dare call the number.

Maybe it was a wrong number, or maybe he just wanted to take the piss out of her. But even though she had already entered the numbers, she did not dare to call again. What if he doesn't want to see me? she asked herself, pursing her lip before pushing the phone away and trying to distract herself with some work.

Which only ended in her almost knocking over a shelf after she remembered that the shop also sold tickets for the place. Almost running to the cash register again as if her life depended on it, which in a way it did, because she had long since given up the idea of going home.

She had more important things to do and that was to see him again. Next to the newspaper dispenser there was a small box with cards and flyers where she took out the card and spread it out on the table. ,,Where are you?" she mumbled and read the address from the card again before running her finger over it.

After a few moments, however, she found the address, which was just outside the city. Why don't you go home and get the car first? she planned her trip there and stuffed the map into her pocket before she started to turn the map between her fingers again.

But her gaze dared not go to the shelf where she stood with him. Where he had tied her up, pulled her to him and she had never been so seriously fixated on a man as she was with him. ,,Fuck" she muttered as she felt the heat come back to her cheeks and the butterflies flutter in her stomach.

Just not enough sex, she thought to herself and tried to convince herself, but it only made less sense for the plan she had. But she was sure that he wanted it just as much as she did.

Not to mention that she had probably been counting on the shop and the story of the earth as he had called it and she wanted to find out what he meant. ,,Or the drugs have clouded his mind," she murmured and giggled as she thought of her experiences with the stuff, even though she was sure he had definitely taken some.

Not that she herself had been high for one or two shifts here in the shop and had only worked half of it properly and then fallen asleep. Only with him it made him seem incredibly engaging and attractive, she thought, and looked at the clock again. Seeing that there was still a quarter of an hour to go, she slowly prepared to close up.

Changing and putting her uniform back in the locker, she took the key and looked around the shop one last time before taking the slip of paper and locking up. As soon as the shop was closed and she had checked it, she started running back to her flat to get into her parked car.

Breathing easy from the run, she unlocked her flat and grabbed her car keys. Taking a quick glance in the mirror but seeing nothing but a nervous yet excited look she hurried out of her flat and almost jumped into her car.

Spreading out the map again, she picked her best route and started the engine before beginning to drive the route. You can always turn back, she heard her inner voice say as she reached the edge of the city after a few minutes and soon came to the more remote part of the forest.

But her fingers were tapping the steering wheel too nervously, her heart was beating too fast for her not to be curious. And the tingling in her stomach did not stop.

She wanted to go there, she wanted to go to that place and she wanted to go to him. To see if there was more behind his words, if he was more than just the world saviour. Or if she was completely wrong.

But the way he spoke of the ropes, his fingers running over her body, no she couldn't be wrong he seemed to have the same intentions. Glancing at the map, she saw at least the road she had to take to get to the forest. ,,Maybe I'll be murdered too," she muttered and thought about turning the steering wheel.

But she decided against it, she wanted to find out what he was up to. Besides, the image of the ropes and his voice never left her mind and only seemed to bring her closer to him. A few minutes further through the forest, she soon arrived at a clearing and was surprised to find a house.

A house that wasn't a shack and didn't look like she would be murdered if she went inside. It was a large house with at least two floors, as if someone had simply pulled it out of a catalogue and put it there. ,,How did this get here?" she mumbled in confusion and got out of her car.

Looking around one last time as if she were doing something forbidden, she walked towards the house. Where she stopped in front of the door and looked at the note one last time and inhaled and exhaled deeply to ring the bell. Her hands seemed to cling to the note as if it were the last safe point.

Turning her gaze back to the door, it opened and she saw the black-haired stranger standing in front of her. ,,Flower you have found me...I am Kappa" he introduced himself and bowed slightly before taking her hand and kissing the back of it.

Before he looked at her from his lower position and tilted his head slightly when he saw her embarrassed look. ,,Come in blossom," he murmured and opened the door fully before returning to an upright position and closing the door behind her.

She had landed in the drug den and the big bad wolf seemed to be just waiting for his little flower, Little Red Riding Hood, to finally give in.

Looking around, she saw the colourful furnishings that seemed to have been put together from all kinds of things. As if he had simply bought everything he liked. A feeling of freedom and yet not falling out of society. But still, somehow it looked good. ,,This is an amazing house," she told him, watching him slowly turn around as if seeing its interior for the first time.

She watched him and saw that his clothes had not changed, his necklace still shone in the light, as did his rings. His dark strands of hair flew lightly in his face as he smirked. A hint of madness seemed to settle in his gaze for a moment before she saw that his pupils were slightly dilated.

Were they like this before? she asked herself, but the slightly sweet smell in the surroundings told her that he had the drugs here. ,,And you, my sweet, are an interesting guest," he decided, and she watched him disappear into an adjoining room. ,,You are an interesting host," she murmured and looked around as much as she thought was decent.

She went to the large couch that could hold a small group, in the middle of which stood the table on which she found not only the cause of the sweet smell but also more than just a bottle of alcohol and a few magazines and books.

Ignoring the drug for the moment, she picked up one of the books and flipped through the pages. ,,The nature of carnal desire" she muttered as she read the title of the chapter and continued to flip through but quickly found out exactly what kind of book it was. A Kama Sutra on drugs, she thought, smiling slightly as she looked at the different positions.

Some of them she knew, some she had even tried herself, but with some she felt her curiosity coming out. ,,I see you have found the source of the beginning," she suddenly heard his voice behind her and she turned around, slightly startled. Still holding the book in her hands, she saw that he was holding two drinks in his hands.

Feeling slightly caught, her heart beat faster before she put the book back and took one of the drinks from him. ,,I-I was just looking...but nature I mean it's in all of us" she philosophised lightly and took a sip of the sweetish mix he had added a small cherry. A nice extra.

He smiled at her words and took the book himself. Flipping through the pages and taking a sip of his drink every now and then. ,,You're right my flower...nature, the naturalness of man, it's in all of us" he began and put the book back on the table before he seemed to find something in his slightly foggy mind.

Something that made him smile before he took her hand and pulled his guest behind him. The house was bigger than she thought when she saw the stairs leading down to the basement as well as upstairs. ,,Is this your family?" she asked as she looked at the photo on a dresser and saw Kappa with three other people.

They were all holding a pill and seemed very excited about the drug trip. She heard him smirk as he took the picture in his hand and ran it over each person. ,,You can call it a family or a group, a cult and so on...they are my followers who believe in the truth," he told her and she felt her interest in his cause grow.

This truth he was talking about, the nature, the lust. It didn't just sound exciting, it meant not just having a small community, she would be with him too. A cult of nature she thought with a grin before he took her hand again and led her further through the house before going up the stairs.

She felt the alcohol of the drink slowly pass through her body, the feeling of lightness slowly becoming clear. She also realised that he was still holding her hand and not letting go.

When they reached the upper floor, it was not very different from the lower floor. Colourful pictures, mobeliar which seemed expensive and yet somehow messy or just some drugs lying around and easy to take. ,,Your group this nature it sounded interesting...what exactly do you mean by that?" she asked and saw him walking through the upper area. He looked around and the small smile on his lips grew.

He seemed to find what he needed as he took a joint out of a glass box. ,,It is, even if the others aren't here right now. What we did had to be...you want to know what?" he asked in answer to her question. She swallowed, but whether it was discomfort or just curiosity and the fact that they were really alone. But the curiosity about what he could tell her outweighed it.

Maybe it was the alcohol? Maybe it was her bored future? Or maybe she just didn't want to forget him and lose herself in him because he seemed so attractive. It didn't matter, she was here, so she might as well make something of it.

She drained her drink in one go and put the glass on the table before searching in her trousers for her lighter and holding it out to him. ,,Thank you," she muttered, lighting his joint and taking a drag. Before blowing the smoke at her and watching her.

He seemed pleased that she didn't pull back. But before he could take another drag, she took it from him and took a drag herself. He had to answer her. ,,Me and my friends-no, everyone knows the man in the moon up there," he said, pointing upwards with his hand and looking up as if he could just see the moon.

She knew what he meant, knew that there was a man in the moon, knew exactly what he was talking about. ,,It's an abomination, it defies nature. Not even being in space, which is so infinite, no," he continued, shaking his head at her, watching him sigh as if he wanted to communicate his disgust at this even more clearly. Space was infinite and beautiful in her eyes, the images and exploration were impressive.

But living it was wrong. We are not made for that, she thought and nodded in agreement. ,,But we are not made to live there, no we are not, it goes against nature just like this mechanical robot something. It's not human, it's an abomination...that me and my friends have taken care of," he continued and took the joint back before making a satisfied sound. It slowly became clear to her what he meant, the things he had bought made sense. Did he do it? she asked and continued to watch him.

But nothing but attraction came to her. ,,Natural selection" she murmured and felt him pull her closer, resting his forehead against hers and looking at her with pleasure before he murmured, ,,Exactly...natural selection". In her mind she went back and forth between calling the police or thanking him.

But she did, she agreed with him one shouldn't have a human up in space, a machine on the ground with children. To procreate. ,,There will be consequences," she said the obvious and he moved away with a nod.

But his expression did not seem worried, rather pleased and open. ,,Yes, consequences that my word spreads, it's only natural that this should happen," he said, stubbing out the almost smoked drug before looking around one last time and seeming to wait.

Waiting for her reaction, to see if she was who he thought she was. Nodding in understanding, the things he had bought flashed back into her mind and the tingling of her skin told her she remembered the ropes clearly.

She remembered what she had felt. ,,Do you still have the ropes?" she murmured, almost startled when he whirled around to her and grabbed her hand, almost gleefully, before saying, ,,I knew you liked it, my flower".

Cute was the word she associated with him when she saw the excited look in his eyes, the happy gleam in his eyes and the broad smile. Damn cute. Before he pulled her behind him again through the room to a door where he disappeared with her.

A large bedroom appeared, the bed consisted of several mattresses with blankets and pillows lying on them. "Like a king-size bed" she thought with a grin and let her eyes wander, seeing the hook on the ceiling and the dresser on which various things were lying. It's not the first time he's done it, she smirked, watching Kappa pick out a photo album and sit down on the big bed. Before he looked at her and gestured for her to sit with him.

She made a surprised noise when she saw the photos. Among other group photos showing nice moments between friends, there were photos taken here in this room. It was like art somehow. The individual members tied up whether hanging from the ceiling or standing on the bed or sitting.

There were different designs running over the bodies of the people. Some naked, some dressed, but they all looked handsome in it. It was fascinating. ,,Beautiful," she murmured when she saw Kapp in one of the pictures, his gaze clearly veiled in lust, a rope stretching across his body and ending on his torso. His slightly dishevelled hair contrasted with the rope that constrained her.

This feeling of power emanating from him out of his self-confidence was not gone, he was handsome. Despite this position, there was something submissive about him that aroused her curiosity. Looking at him she saw the pink shade on his cheeks, he didn't seem to be ashamed of what he and his friends were doing.

He didn't have to be if what they were doing was art driven by inner lust. ,,You would look beautiful too, my star," he purred, looking from the photo to her as if he already had a clear idea of how he wanted her to look. ,,I know you liked it, you had that look... that's why you came here, to see me, isn't it?" he chuckled amusedly when he saw her caught expression before he took the photo album aside and walked over to the ropes lying on the dresser.

As if she had lost her voice, she just nodded as if completely out of it, which was not only due to the drugs. Walking to her, he pulled her back to her feet and walked around her looking at her.

She felt his hands moving over her body and back to his rope. ,,You want to try it out, don't you flower?" he asked the obvious, just holding out her arms to him. The answer was enough for him. Let him know that he could finally turn his fascination with her into art. ,,I knew you would, good girl," he praised before he took the last steps between them and finally kissed her.

Finally daring to take the step to let the two sides collide. The kiss was deep, she felt his hands on her body, pulling her closer, pressing her against him as if he wanted to touch and look at every part of her body. His giggle reached her ears and it made her giggle too as she took in his happiness. Her excitement seemed to move him too as his hands moved to her top.

Undressing her, she stood in front of him in her pants and bra, seeing his rapt look as he tilted his head slightly and smirked. ,,Little flowers" he murmured and his fingers traced the flowers on her bra. From the straps to the underwire, his gentle almost careful touch sent a tingle through her body. She knew he felt her nipples harden, his smirk saying more than he needed to.

Reaching around her, she felt his fingers on the clasp of her bra before she pulled the garment off. Letting it slide carelessly to the floor, her hands went to his dark top and pulled it over his head before tossing it carelessly into the room. His warmth was attractive and as he stood there she felt the tingle in her belly. He looked more than good.

Angel-like, she thought, with his longer dark hair falling into his face, his almost delicate but well-built torso that suited him. Her fingers grasped the necklace and pulled it slightly towards her so that she could look at the dark red stone. ,,You are beautiful," he sighed, watching in fascination as she finally stripped off the rest of her clothes and stood before him completely naked.

Briefly, shame passed through her mind and she covered her breasts with her hands, yet she was still naked in front of him. An uncomfortable fact that Kappa immediately saw in her behaviour.

To her surprise, he threw the rope onto the bed made up of the many mattresses, pillows and blankets before gently pushing her onto it before suddenly kneeling down in front of her. ,,Kappa, what are you doing?" she asked in surprise, looking at him slightly questioningly. But he only gave her an amused smile before he bent down and kissed his way up her leg.

She flinched in surprise, but he only gave her more kisses and compliments as he continued to kiss her body, caressing her with sweet, meaningless words that brought warmth to her face. ,,You are the true natural order and perfection" he murmured as he kissed his way down her belly before his fingers slid to hers and he kissed the back of her hand again and her hands slowly slid off her back. ,,Gorgeous," Kappa murmured as his words took effect and he placed his lips on her breasts.

Kissing the soft sensitive skin before she yelped as he bit into her sensitive nipples. She heard his smirk as she held onto him, not wanting him to let go of the feeling. Before she pulled him into another kiss, her fingers tangling in his hair and his hands touching her breasts.

She tugged lightly on one of the dark strands, heard him whimper, felt him break the kiss to stretch towards her touch. Saw his pupils still dilated with lust and love before she pulled him to her. His excited gasp disappeared in the kiss she evoked and deepened. He felt himself give up his control for a moment and surrender to her.

Before he broke away from her, said ,,I'll show you how artistic it looks" and reached for the rope which he began to place on her upper body. Full of tension and fascination, she felt the rope, which had a mixture of roughness and yet softness, pull itself over her upper body. ,,I'm going to make a barré belt," he explained his plan, even though she had no idea what it would look like or what he was doing, but she gave herself willingly to him.

She felt him start to wrap the rope around her waist first, the play of his fingers touching her and then the unusual rope before he pulled it tighter. Felt him tie the rope around her waist a few more times and adjust it. ,,You are doing good" he praised her even though she was just sitting still but for him she seemed to be everything in this matter.

Before she exhaled almost in surprise as the rope wrapped around her upper chest and a slightly unusual tightness slowly appeared. It was almost indescribable as a slightly tight bra or shirt. Before the rope pulled back over her shoulder to be reconnected by Kappa to the back.

Doing the same with the other side, he pulled her towards him with the rope, letting his hands run over her created work, not to mention her breasts, which were surrounded by the rope. ,,How is it?" he wanted to know, turning in a circle as if his trip was going to be especially good before he stopped suddenly and walked over to the dresser and took a camera. ,,It's...unfamiliar cramped but there's something about it that makes me feel like I like it," she explained, smiling slightly as she looked at the small mirror hanging on the wall and saw herself in the darkened room.

She liked it. She liked the tightness, the way the rope stretched over her body, framing her breasts and that little tension that was always on her. But also the way he looked at her, she saw nothing but desire, attraction and adoration in his eyes. Feelings that sent a wave of excitement and satisfaction through her body.

She was all the more surprised when the click of the camera reached her ears and she looked at Kappa who had started to photograph her. ,,Shit...sweetie you don't know how perfectly natural and erotic you look" he purred and took a picture of her from every possible angle.

With each photo he told her how good she looked, flattered her and was already planning to hang her pictures up in the house for all to see. Lolling on the bed in positions he wanted her to be in but also taking the initiative themselves, the two of them had fun being photographer and model in harmony.

With every picture she saw how excited, impatient and needy he became. It was arousing. ,,Come here" he murmured as he almost threw the camera on the dresser and hurried to her on the bed before undressing himself and wrapping her in a kiss.

She felt his hands running over the rope, exploring her body, running over her breast, pulling her hair slightly down to her hip where he held her. ,,You are beautiful my flower" he crooned as she fell backwards and he began to kiss and caress her body again.

While her own hands wandered over his body, feeling the warm skin and leaving red stripes on his back. She felt his arousal on her thigh and let her know that he was more than just aroused by her. ,,Somebody's excited" he joked and they laughed together at his bad comment before he grabbed her hand and led her to his chest. She felt his heartbeat as fast as hers.

The excitement that lay dormant in both of them fogged with the thought of touching each other, finally touching and loving each other. ,,I'm not leaving...not after all this," she said to him, straightening slightly before placing a hand on his cheek and stroking it gently, causing him to lean towards her.

For a moment he looked so hurt that it stung her heart. ,,Beautiful," she murmured before lying back on the soft ground, sighing as the rope moved ever so slightly and the arousal in her centre increased.

Before he kissed his way down her body, with each bite, lick, kiss and pinch, more and more excited sounds escaped her slightly open mouth. With each one, not only did his excitement increase, but he praised her for wanting to hear them and hear them in all their naturalness. Not to defy nature.

An excited yelp came from her as Kappa bit into the soft flesh of her thigh and licked it apologetically. ,,Cute, my heart," he chuckled and continued to bite and smooch until he reached her centre. She watched as he took a moment to place himself properly. Before his hands slid to hers, his eyes met hers and he gave her a slightly questioning look.

She knew what was coming, knew what he was going to do and she also knew that she had never been so sure about anything. Nodding at him, he squeezed her hand one last time before releasing her hand and placing it on her hip before entering her moments later. ,,Fuck" she gasped as her fingers scratched over his back as she took a moment to get used to him and his length and size.

But she didn't miss his gasp either, the gasp as his hands also trailed over her skin lost in the sensation. ,,Are you all right?" he asked after he had caught himself and his gaze went to her when he clearly felt her tension. She wanted to say something but it was interrupted by another gasp before she just nodded. She was all the more surprised when she felt his lips on her body again.

Slowly taking away her tension with each new art and making her forget any doubts. With every touch of her skin he seemed to want her more and more, with each of his kisses she only longed for him more. Wanting to have and feel more of him. ,,Just relax it feels good trust me" she heard him say and seemed to be completely taken out of reality when she felt Kappa start to move and she heard his pleasurable noises echoing around the room.

Each of his sounds not only went immediately to her centre she loved his voice, that softness and vulnerability it was beautiful. ,,I-I trust you," she gasped, pulling him slightly closer again while her one hand was still on his back, trailing strands with each wave of arousal that went through her body as he thrust.

She ran her other hand through his hair, grasping the strands and releasing them, only to have Kappa hold on to them again and pull them, only to have Kappa acknowledge this again with a lustful, devoted noise. Before they both found a rhythm that was most pleasurable for both of them, which was supported not least by her touching him.

But her legs also closed around his waist, pulling him towards her, and she heard a surprised gasp before his thrusts increased, the sensation he was getting stronger from her to feel or receive even more. ,,You are so beautiful," she heard his choppy murmur before she felt his lips on hers, he engaged her in another kiss and her voice failed, broken by his kiss. But with each new kiss, each new thrust, each new pull of the rope, it seemed almost like a sensory overload.

Everything bundled together just waiting for it to come to a climax. Before he released the kiss, she threw her head into one of the many pillows as his lips settled on her breast again. Kissing the sensitive skin and making her moan throatily as he lightly bit her nipples, a jerk went through her hips which was received by him and made Kappa moan as well.

They were both in complete harmony with the nature of lust driven by being human and the desire they had for each other. It was better than any drug. ,,Ka-Kappa...I-I am" she babbled, her mind too foggy and her words too short for her to finish. But when she saw his nod and a short ,,Me too" from him, she knew that he felt the same as she did.

That the tingling and pulling in her abdomen was getting too close, that his thrusts were getting faster but more uncontrollable, that she was pulling him even closer to her to just feel everything while the pleasurable sounds permeated the room and everything existed only around the two of them.

Before moments later she pulled him closer one last time while he made his final thrusts before they both came and he drowned her silent scream in another kiss. Keeping her lust to himself and giving her love and affection.

Only to detach himself from her moments later and slowly withdraw from her, breathing heavily. She didn't see because of her closed eyes how he looked at her and let his gaze wander over her body and the small smirk on his lips as he brushed his hair away.

Before he rose and reached for a blanket lying somewhere on the floor. ,,Don't be startled my little flower" he mumbled audibly exhausted before he wiped the rough dirt off her and went behind her. ,,Just a moment more and then off to the land of dreams," she heard him say as he slowly began to untie the rope and knot, which she welcomed.

She sighed in relief as she moved her arms slightly and ran them over her breasts as the tingling sensation slowly disappeared and her muscles no longer fell asleep. ,,I'm already with you," she replied and lay down next to him before Kappa wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer.

Hearing his giggle, she playfully rolled her tired eyes and pulled another blanket lightly over her and him to keep warm. ,,Darling? Say do you want to stay with me in the group...or go back to your life?" she heard his question dully as she was already slowly threatening to fall asleep again from exhaustion.

Back to my life of stressful studies and other annoying things? she asked herself, thinking for a moment as she fought fatigue. It was a life of stress that awaited her. But here. Here she could be what she wanted, she had a family, friends. She had someone who loved her and returned her feelings despite the short time.

Turning her head to him and looking at him she said tired and exhausted but clearly, ,,With you I want to stay with you Kappa". She saw his gaze soften, the fear leave his eyes as he realised she would not leave him. ,,That means everything to me my heart...I love you" he said leaning down to give her a kiss before he also made himself comfortable on the mountain of blankets and pillows which she only replied with a ,,I love you too" before she finally closed her eyes and only moments later drifted off like Kappa into the land of dreams.

Safe in the arms of Kappa, who did not let go, who held her and protected her. The man in the moon was defeated and there was no more danger. For him, there was only her. There was only love. The love between the cult leader and his personified nature. His love. And that was you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@angelsanarchy , @quicksilversg1rl , @spookyorchid , @milsthouqhts , @jzzminex , @bvg-w1res , @roryculkinsbf , @roryculkinsgf , @beldamama

[ilikedetectives]

Decided to make apple snails bún soup for the first time the other day, because people keep gifting me beers but I cannot drink alcohol.

[wolfprincesszola]

Reasons Not to Kiss Him

INSPIRED BY "REASONS NOT TO KISS HIM" BY NATALIEWEEPOETRY

ngl cringing over every single thing i write even if i know it's not bad. have some wrightworth/narumitsu rot. enjoy and remember that likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated <3 ——————– Summary: Miles Edgeworth debates whether or not to kiss Phoenix Wright when there are so many reasons against kissing him.

Trigger Warnings: Self-Hatred, Slight Mention of Suicide

Content Warnings: Swearing

<Masterlist> <Read it at ao3> ——————–

"Kiss me."

The words uttered were so quiet Miles couldn't even register it as a whisper. It was more of a muttering under a breath than something Miles could register as speaking. For a second, Miles would have thought that it was nothing. Waved it off as something Phoenix was mouthing with no real intention to act on it. A joke Phoenix wanted to say, but stopped himself from uttering. A voice that died in his throat.

But then, Miles saw the way Phoenix looked at him. He saw the way Phoenix swallowed nervously, his Adam's apple moving up and down with every second that Miles didn't speak. He saw the way Phoenix's eyes darted at every part of his face for any clue that Miles got his message. He saw the way Phoenix's lips wavered, debating whether or not to utter the fact that he was joking. Or maybe he should keep his mouth shut, pretend like he didn't say it, just as Miles was wondering whether or not to pretend not to hear it. Miles almost didn't.

Phoenix took the silence as Miles hearing the first statement and he expounded on his statement, "I'm not scared of you. Please. Kiss me?"

Phoenix meant what he said and that was what scared Miles. Miles loved the man. He sure did. It had been more than a decade of knowing him as a defense attorney and a long time coming that they had gotten together. It would be awful if Miles didn't love Phoenix with how long they had been together; he knew the man loved him the same way. Maybe even more than Miles. But the fact that Phoenix had wanted Miles to kiss him and that Miles didn't know if he could scared him. It scared him shitless.

There were thousands of things against their relationship. Against the idea of them kissing each other. He knew that, but that wasn't what he cared about. That wasn't what scared him. In fact, he couldn't care at all about the people that hated their relationship, about the things that were trying so hard to keep them apart. He could waive them off without a single thought.

It was his mind that scared him. Because he was listing every reason he shouldn't kiss Phoenix in his mind, trying to find a reason to say no. Ten came to mind that was stopping him.

One. Miles wasn't raised to love tender.

As much as he hated it, he was still Manfred von Karma's student and his mentor was not someone who loved tender. If he even loved at all. Miles still wasn't sure about that, but he was taught to hurt and lash out when he was attacked. To sting a bee before it could sting him. That meant that with love, he was expected to lash out before he could truly be loved and appreciated. That meant that being loved by Phoenix scared him so much because he didn't know how to stay with Phoenix when all Phoenix needed was a hug or to talk about his feelings. He was always taught tough love. Stand up and pick himself back up so he would know how to help others pick themselves up. He tried his best. He helped others with picking their broken pieces up and trying to help glue them back together, but it was different with Phoenix. Phoenix was delicate porcelain China and unbreakable plastic containers at the same time. Almost impossible to rip apart, but almost impossible to put back together again. Miles struggled when it came to helping him because the way Miles loved came from a place of hatred. It was filled with hiding the truth. It was filled with too much grief. It was filled with frustration. It was filled with staying quiet and listening. It never was speaking out and preventing him from making those mistakes. Phoenix himself knew that, but for some odd reason, he didn't seem to mind. He didn't seem to mind that Miles wasn't raised to love tender. Instead, he always lent a hand in helping Miles understand how to love him and he always tried to find a way to love Miles in the way Miles knew love to be. Phoenix compromised for Miles.

Two. When Phoenix was around, all Miles could do was tremble. When he was around, Miles wanted to get on his knees that were too weak to stand. Phoenix had so much power over him that it was dangerous.

Miles didn't like it when men had power over him. It was a sign of weakness and no one in the family that raised him was ever weak. Crying, speaking out about feelings, sadness, being too stubborn. All weaknesses that ran in the von Karma legacy. That was how it had always been, so it was suspicious how much power Phoenix had over him. How much power Phoenix chose not to use on him. Always with free will. Always with smiling at him. Phoenix never made Miles feel pressured to do anything, never exercised the power Phoenix had over Miles to make him do what he wanted. There was always a "only if you want to" and "would you mind helping me" hidden behind all of Phoenix's requests. He could have Miles at his every beck and call. Making him food, buying him presents, being there to satisfy his every need. Yet, he didn't. It was weird considering what Miles dealt with in his family. He was asked to do things that seemed more like demands. "Help your sister", "do these chores", "excel in your courses", "listen to me whenever I ask". That was how it was, especially as an eldest son. It was expected of him and it was fine. His family knew they had power and respect over him, and Manfred von Karma especially exercised that authority. Phoenix? He understood how much Miles was head-over-heels for him. He understood just how much Miles's heart pounded every time he approached the man, just how much he had Miles wrapped around his finger, just how much his smiles could make his day better in just a millisecond. Phoenix could easily have Miles serving him, but instead, Phoenix gave Miles all the power he had over him. Phoenix gave Miles the self-control to be who he wanted around him. Miles wasn't too sure how he liked that.

Three. Phoenix was too good at forgiving and Miles was too good at violence.

He never exercised it at Phoenix, but Phoenix had seen how angry he could get. Phoenix had seen just how much Miles loved him because he had gladly punched plenty of people who harassed him endlessly. A couple of school bullies, stalkerish fans, criminals, and more. Miles had seen them all around Phoenix and he had seen just how much Phoenix had been scratched or been pushed down by them. It boiled his blood hard enough to result in him seeing red and sometimes that red was blood. Blood from the persons. He was violent and angry all the time. That was the way he was, but Phoenix didn't mind. He just smiled at Miles and patched him up without a complaint. He held Miles' glasses so Miles wouldn't break them and protected Miles from getting hit. He had stepped in a few times and had even defended Miles for hitting them. It didn't make sense. How come Phoenix wasn't scared of him? How come he continued to forgive Miles? How come he never seemed to care that Miles was so good at violence? How come he could trust Miles so easily to know that Miles would never hit him? How could Miles trust himself to know that he wouldn't eventually hit, or more importantly hurt the people he loved? Especially Phoenix. That, he didn't have an answer to.

Four. Miles knew what society said about monsters, and most importantly, what happened to the men that loved them. Was he really going to do that to Phoenix?

He was a monster. He knew it himself. He hurt people when he didn't want to, lashing out at them either physically or verbally. Most likely verbally. He couldn't pick up on signals and sometimes, he would pick the wrong action that he knew was the wrong choice. When he should've been comforting, he gave tough love. When he was comforting, he tried to hide behind his uncomfortableness and instead tried to take a backseat stand. He didn't know how to deal with emotions. He never really learned how to deal with them. He was easy to snap and it terrified him down to every cell in his body what would happen if anyone truly made him angry. Angry enough to kill. He was sure he was close to it whenever someone hurt Phoenix. He knew that the men that loved monsters always got the worst of it. Monsters always shifted back, always killed the ones that loved them, or at least what was of those. Always hurt the men that loved them and changed the men until they were almost unrecognizable. Miles knew he had already done that with Phoenix. He had seen how Maya and Larry had mentioned how differently he acted. Even Trucy, who didn't really exist in a time where Miles was out of Phoenix's life completely. They said it was better that way. That Phoenix was a fraction of an eggshell before he managed to find his identity with Miles. Miles wasn't so sure about that. He wondered if it really was a good thing. If changing Phoenix was really something that everyone adored or if everyone would eventually turn on him, the way society always did on monsters. If they would realize that Phoenix changing was awful and if they would lock Phoenix up from protecting Miles from the harm society would lash at him. If they would treat Phoenix as if he was insane and if they would hurt Phoenix for loving a monster like he loved Miles. He didn't think it was worth the risk.

Five. Miles's hands didn't know how to be gentle. He thought about the last beautiful thing he held that shattered in his palms, the fresh rosebuds crumbling between his fingers like a bruise. A wolf-man and war machine like him wouldn't know how to hold something magic and not destroy it.

Phoenix was magic to him. He saved Miles in the worst time and kept him from being drowned. He stayed there with Miles during his toughest days and was often the result of Miles having life-long debts to him. Phoenix was gentle to Miles. Always delicately framing pieces of hair out of his face, always holding him closely as if he could break if Phoenix squeezed, always giving him the kindest and gentlest smiles to keep him going throughout the day. Miles wasn't like that. Just as he was his mentor's student, he was Franziska's older brother. Just as his sister was rough with the things she did, Miles was too. Miles learned from the reckless, crushing anything in his palms that could not be pushed around or bruised. Anything magic faded and anything beautiful lost its beauty when he held it too close to him, not wanting to share it with anyone in the world. With Phoenix, Miles never wanted to let him go, but he always did before it was too late. Before he crushed Phoenix to pieces and was left staring at a broken pile of what once was beautiful. What once was the amazing Phoenix Wright. Someone who had fought through a war every day of his life wouldn't know how to hold someone who had brought him everything. Someone who had to deal with destruction in his childhood wouldn't understand how to keep something close to him without destroying it before anyone else could find out.

Six. If Miles hurt Phoenix, it might kill him.

Knowing that it physically ached his heart and made him angry to even see Phoenix be slightly wounded at any remark that was told his way, Miles knew it might kill him if he knew he hurt Phoenix. If he kissed Phoenix, he would let Phoenix in and it meant the man could be hurt. Miles always hurt the people he loved, no matter how much he tried not to. It was the way everything went. He hated it. If Phoenix shed a tear because of him, Miles would never be able to forgive himself. Miles knew the damage he did on people who made Phoenix cry or on people who tried to break Phoenix. He wondered if he would die from a broken heart because he hurt the man he loved most in the world.

Seven. If Miles hurt Phoenix, he might kill himself.

Miles knew he'd hurt anyone that even made Phoenix annoyed. That came with his love. His heart was sometimes too big that it was hard to hold it inside of him. Too physically big for him to express that he needed to do it in other ways. One of those ways being hurting those that hurt Phoenix. He knew that if Phoenix even exhaled to keep his cool, Miles could be on his way to make sure that the person would never hurt Phoenix again. If dying from a broken heart didn't kill him, he was sure that he'd kill himself. After all, he loved Phoenix in that way and if he hurt Phoenix, he would do anything in his power to make sure that he could never hurt Phoenix again.

Eight. Miles was very bad at rehabilitation. This might be one addiction he'd fail to give up. Phoenix would ruin all other kisses and all other men and he would be stuck spending the rest of his life trying to forget his name.

Miles had a history of addiction that ran in his family. That's why he never got started on drinking alcohol. It was too risky, which mean that beer and wine were out of his life. He tried his best to get rid of any other addiction he would have. Steel Samurai collectibles? No. He would never stop collecting them and would spend the rest of his life trying to hide his hobby. Shopping? No. He was already trying to stop that addiction. Coffee? Absolutely not. He could even tell from a sip he had once that the burning sensation and the ability to stay awake would spiral him into an addiction. Poker? He couldn't think to gain a gambling addiction with his luck in winning. There were so many. He never stuck to one hobby too long, fearful that it would give him an addiction. With how smitten he was with Phoenix, he was scared that if he kissed Phoenix, he would never be able to go back. He couldn't break habits and he couldn't love someone the way he loved Phoenix. Phoenix was his first and only love. He was there with Miles through thick and thin, even when Miles was awful to him. Even when there seemed to be no reason for Phoenix to help. If he kissed Phoenix, he'd never be able to get rid of him when he tried to love another man. Tried to kiss another man. If they were to separate, he'd be forever searching for a way to erase the seared memories Phoenix implanted within him from the first moment they met. He just couldn't.

Nine. Miles still wasn't sure Phoenix wasn't just a dream.

Phoenix came at just the right time. He saved Miles from the lies Manfred von Karma gave him and solved the mystery behind his father's murder. From the deepest pits of hell and helped Miles pick the pieces back up that he tried to do himself with difficulty. Phoenix made it seem so easy to support Miles and he gave him the stepping stones to help Miles love himself. To know who he was as a person. It was no wonder that Miles fell in love with Phoenix after that. For that to be taken away from him at a moment's notice was heartbreaking by itself. He had tested it plenty of times. Pinched his cheeks, smacked his face, felt Phoenix's face. All to see whether or not the man was part of a great dream he was having. As if the man would disappear if he were to blink, and he would be thrown back into the real world where he was the Demon Attorney.

Ten. If Miles kissed Phoenix, he might wake up.

If Phoenix was truly just a dream, Miles knew that it would have to come to an end. If this was really his picture perfect movie, it had to end somewhere. And most of the time, it ended right at the kiss. If he kissed Phoenix, there was a chance he would wake up, alone in a bed that didn't have Phoenix in it. Alone in a life that Phoenix did not exist in or in a life where Phoenix did not exist in as his. That terrified him to even think about. Thousands of hours poured into loving a man that was just a dream. Thousands of hours poured into loving a man that would be gone in a blink of an eye. If he stayed in that moment, if he stalled the ending, it would be okay. He could stay with Phoenix for as long as he wanted.

But then, he looked at Phoenix, who was still waiting for his answer. Who was searching his face for any context clues about how he was feeling. Who had just whispered his name to try and get his attention back to the matter at hand.

"Miles."

Then, he began to search for the reasons to kiss him.

One. Because Phoenix was beautiful.

Even if beauty was in the eye of the beholder, Miles could agree that he loved everything about Phoenix. From the jaw he traced his fingers over every time he tried to memorize Phoenix's face to the raven hair that could only be described as the same color of obsidian to the blue eyes that reminded Miles of the salty waves in the ocean. The type of blue in the waves that could drown him if he was pulled in too deep. If he wasn't careful enough. All of Phoenix's appearance. And all of his personality. His kindness, his enthusiasm, his happiness, his bravery, his chaoticness, his consideration, his ability to love, his heart, his brain. All of it. Every part of him was beautiful to Miles and that was enough for Miles to understand that Phoenix Wright was the most beautiful thing he had ever come across. How could he reject such a beautiful thing?

Two. Because Phoenix asked.

There he was, so politely asking Miles to kiss him. To humor his wishes and to offer something that could so easily be shut down. It was brave what Phoenix did. Putting his heart out so easily just to ask for a simple brush of the lips. Miles couldn't fathom how Phoenix could so easily ask him just like that, as if it wasn't a make-it-or-break-it deal to their relationship. How could he say no to something so kindly asked for?

Three. Because Phoenix preceded "please" with, "I'm not afraid of you".

He had heard what Phoenix had asked. He knew Phoenix knew about his thoughts. He knew Phoenix knew Miles thought himself of a monster. He thought Phoenix feared him just as much as he feared himself, but that one sentence had changed his entire mind. In that moment, he realized that Phoenix had never been afraid of him because he knew Miles better than anyone. Knew Miles better than even he knew himself. His kindness, his heart, his anxiety, his worries. The inside and outside of him. Phoenix understood where Miles was coming from and what he was always thinking. It was always that. Phoenix somehow always knew and he knew that Miles feared himself. That he would one day mess up. That he would hurt Phoenix. And in that one sentence, Phoenix had proven that he didn't care what happened because he knew it would never happen. How could Miles not kiss Phoenix when he knew he could never hurt him?

"Yes." Miles swallowed his fears away and cupped Phoenix's face. Ignoring his pounding heart, he pulled Phoenix closer to himself. His hands shook the closer he approached the man, his lips hesitating when they were millimeters apart. Their lips brushed against each other and he could feel Phoenix's lips that were just a bit chapped from the cold of the air.

"You don't have to kiss me. It's okay." Phoenix whispered as if he knew about Miles's hesitation. "I'm not going to force you."

As Phoenix's lips moved, so did Miles's from the sheer distance. Even when Phoenix knew what he wanted and was this close to getting it, he still hesitated, wanting to know that Miles wanted it just the same as he did.

"Wright..."

"I'm serious, Edgeworth. I'm not going to force you." Phoenix grabbed Miles's face to pull himself away, but Miles couldn't allow for it. He wanted to kiss him so bad. Despite the 10 reasons he had convinced himself to not kiss Phoenix, there were still that three that were convincing him to just do it.

So he did.

He leaned in and connected their lips together, feeling as Phoenix melted in his arms.

Phoenix tasted of coffee grounds and matcha green tea. Probably from the boba drink he had just ordered. Angry Matcha or something. Matcha milk tea with an espresso shot mixed in. Miles remembered looking at the description, though he wasn't sure why that was important at the moment. Phoenix's lips weren't necessarily rough as Miles could still feel the chapstick he had put on only a few hours before, but they were rough enough for Miles to know that he had to reapply it soon.

As soon as Miles pulled himself away from Phoenix, he searched for any sign that Phoenix hadn't actually wanted Miles to kiss him, but all he found was a shit-eating grin on his face, one that he couldn't quite stop if he tried. As soon as they separated, Phoenix had pulled Miles back into his arms, pressing their lips together once more.

He was right for one thing. Phoenix was definitely an addiction that he would never want to get rid of to the point where he had forgotten a very vital part of living. At least until the two of them were practically having to push themselves off of each other to catch their breath.

Miles smiled as he stared at Phoenix, still there in front of him. So he didn't wake up. He leaned his forehead against Phoenix's, trying to hide the smile that was coming onto his face as well.

Phoenix reached over to Miles and pinched his cheek. A slight pain reached his face and he scrunched his face up just as Phoenix let go.

"What was that for?"

"Just so you know it wasn't a dream." Phoenix smiled. "I love you."

And as Miles stared into the eyes of the love of his life, he realized that it didn't matter how many reasons there were to not be with Phoenix if it meant that there was one that brought hope and kept their relationship going.

"I love you too."

[kagoutiss]

Actually I'm not done talking about your Ganondorf yet, he's so blorbo/pos, this man wants power but has to put up with so much shit that he makes everyone else put up with his shit too. 10/10 also I would like to kiss him please

FIRST OF ALL THANK YOU AGAIN AAA, SECOND OF ALL you’re so right about this that i ended up…writing many paragraphs of character analysis about him in this regard because this activated something in my brain. like about him inflicting shit on other people because of the shit that’s inflicted on him, and how much i’ve thought about that. i have so many feelings about his shitty personality, i think a fundamental part of why i love him is that he is…literally an asshole and he’s kind of impulsive and often terrible to people for no reason and he’s probably genuinely unbearable to be around even if you are close to him, but i think he is that way by virtue of the COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE REALITY that he lives in?? like.

ok so. i feel like OoT ganondorf is AS unpredictable & unreasonable & unpleasant as the circumstances that he lives with. we’re talking about someone who was not only born into the role of king of a nation that’s been generationally abused by Hyrule since the start of a centuries-long war predating OoT, but he’s also become accustomed to fighting against the Sheikah of that time period, who notably still had an immense technological advantage, and apparently inherit divine knowledge from the gods, and are capable of making evidence of their crimes against humanity just sort of…DISAPPEAR from the sight of most average people??? and also they. fucking invented time travel apparently

one of my favorite bits of really underrated OoT lore is how the Composer Brothers (who you can speak to as ghosts in the Kakariko Graveyard) were hired at some point by the royal family to study the powers of the royal bloodline, and they invented the Sun’s Song, which accelerates time, turns night to day, etc. a form of time travel, in essence. and. canonically. the Composer Brothers committed suicide when they found out ganondorf was going to try to steal their completed research. maybe to prevent him from torturing the the information out of them even if they destroyed it? which is a completely fucking batshit piece of lore that i still cannot believe exists

but imo it also gives a bit more context as to how desperate ganondorf probably was at the heel end of the civil war, or whenever this happened. he was literally having to contend with people who can fucking time travel, and to some extent, alter reality at will, superficially or otherwise. i’m not at all surprised that he has a tendency to 1) hold grudges forever and remember everything that’s ever been done to him, and 2) obsess over stealing the full Triforce, the one chance that any regular mortal has at changing their reality in a fundamental way. i think it’s probably difficult to make real personal connections when you’ve always been constantly at risk of losing anything & everything that you care about, in a way that may or may not affect whether those things had ever existed in the first place

i also feel like he PREFERS to be demonized/label himself really hyperbolic things like the King of All Evil and stuff because it’s…the opposite of what Hyrule does. Hyrule makes itself out to be this Supremely Benevolent Institution That Is Chosen By The Gods And Can Do No Wrong, while simultaneously disappearing its naysayers underground and torturing them and killing them and committing genocide against any territories that refuse to be absorbed under the Hyrulean banner. i don’t think Ganondorf cares whether his actions are necessarily good or evil, but i think that to him, the most abhorrent thing in existence is a thing that claims to be good when it isn’t.

so. he presumably spent his entire early life having to fend off the ever-looming bootheel of Hyrule’s royal family, while their army and their secret police were actively destroying the Gerudo and then gaslighting them all about it on an Existential Level. like. yeah no i think him having immense issues and…projecting the lack of control that he feels onto people around him, and being fully defined by his ambitions to take the triforce, and wanting people to despise him/see him as fundamentally evil, and him being sort of incapable of forming genuine connections with people, is…kinda par for the course with that agdkahkfjagajfhs