#cuz......thats not even going into next years days yet

[roseband]

....

[jslmasaysmoneyisbest]

TCF SOULMATE AU

So in this au

Soulmates are determined by choice

so yes you can pick a wrong soulmate

but thankfully their is a failswitch but lets not get into that

This Au is about a blessed person and a cursed person

Cale chose Alberu in highschool

then they died.

and lived again as a count and prince

and again as two girls

and again in a war

His blessing is the ability to always chose Alberu that was what he wanted

yet....Alberu never looked at him

never chose him

never answered him

His soul without his soulmate weeped

and felt its owner grief

wiped away the memories

and started anew

Meanwhile

Alberu wanted to scream

HE CHOSE CALE

Alberu chose Cale far longer then Cale chose alberu

but this was his curse

to never answer your soulmate

to never chose

he was stuck in a glass box in his mind

with no way out

but like it was filled with too much pressure it broke

and he was free

but Cale already forgot

So now Alberu spends the rest of his lifetimes choosing Cale and hoping he remembers

through high school

through being royalty

through being a girl(its an otome game world)

through war

and more

-------------------end here if you don't want ending spoilers------------

Soul mates need each other to live

thats why theres a fail safe b/c if its a bad soulmate it will slowly kill you as your souls are connected

ALberu chose Cale before Cale chose Alberu so he was alright without him before

But All the times Cale chose Alberu are gone

and Alberu is dying

He knows Cale will be fine

but he selfishly wishes to keep being his soulmate even in death

so when they got reincarnated into a world of magic

he expiremented

and now with his time up

he connected his soul with Cale's soul

and Cale who was sick b/c Alberu never chose him this life

got better

but he weeped for days without knowing why

it wasn't until the next life he remembered his first

and his second

and his third

and the 100s after

Alberu did chose him!

But Cale could not find Alberu

he went to the place of the women who first placed that cursed and blessing on them

and she smiled

"Your soulmates soul...is right there" she said pointing her skinny finger to the place his soul was

"That isn't possible"

"of course it is darling."

"what does that mean"

"You can go be with anyone. or no one you'll live either way"

"Where is Alberu"

"Dear the boy has no soul. Even if he reincarnated he died a long time ago"

"What"

"Oh yes that poor dear curse has changed instead of never being able to chose you you both are now fated to never be able to be each other's soulmates"

"Alberu is gone"

"For you of course he was dying already his soul was so broken"

"But he will still be reincarnated?"

"Maybe the longest he will last is 10 years without a soul-he won't be the same no one ever is"

"Where is he"

"He is dead dear what ever do you mean?"

"WHERE IS HE" Cale said with so much venom the lady stepped back

she smiled figuring out what he wanted and told him where he was

Cale ran to get to him

and he finally arrived

step

step

step

step

and sat down

in front of a grave

From then on

Cale lived his lives with a grave as a soulmate

--------------------------------------------------------------------

thats it thats all my brain could create will add more in comments if I have anything else to add

tell me if you have any questions

cuz im 100% sure I lost some info in my brain while writing this which I was supposed to write down for this AU

[selkieioe]

read: playlists are super down below so keep scrolling!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always.

Hello Hello! Welcome to my first ever post on tumblr that just had to be about my ultimate top tier favorite visual novel of all time..Our Life: Beginnings & Always or OL:BA for short.

This game has such a special place in my heart that im afraid I���ll forever be attached to it because at this point it’s not even a phase anymore lol. I still remember that heated summer day of scrolling down on my steam shop out of boredom and i kept getting recommended OL:BA but back then i really couldn’t care less and would not even spare a glance on it until i got so fed up of it popping up in my recommended for the next few days that i decided to finally check it out.

Reading what it was about made me curious but what really got me downloading it was because of the customization of our character/characters.

And finally into the game i was! I remember when the story started, i was very surprised already by the environment, narrative and world building of the game. It truly felt like i was part of it and i didn’t get bored at all. In fact right from the start i was hooked already!

I loved ALL of the characters that was introduced, i love the fact that it was SO multiple choice that it felt like you were really integrating yourself/oc onto the game and that you’re not just forced to say the same thing as a different choice or feel as though your options are limited. Its definitely a game that you’re supposed to replay over and over because its just that fun!!

And as someone who has never had a great childhood and adolescence, absentee parent, chaotic household, unsupportive friends, want to be understood (you know…this and that) i was so happy that this game was doing that and it genuinely gave me hope to live despite going through the darkest of times in my life :)

This game has changed me into a better person and made me want to be the best version of myself that i want to be in the future! I will infinitely recommend this to anyone who wants to have a feel good game/read (+1 it will make you cry!!)

Anyway enough yapping 💀 Time to get to the point.

Here are some playlists i made dedicated to the lovable characters of OL:BA that i personally listened to during my walkthrough and may relate to their route/lore ;)

read: playlists are super down below so keep scrolling!!

1# COVE HOLDEN

the og love interest!

summer with cove holden.

this playlist is the epitome vibes of the game (growing up with them and having fun, making memories.)

from beginnings to always with cove holden.

spoiler alert!! MARRIAGE DLC WOOOO!! really love this one cuz its all full of cute romance and wedding songs. i also put some songs that i think mc and cove would have when they get kids :3

#2 DEREK SUAREZ

MY PERSONAL FAVORITE!!

DEREK IS JUST SOOOO AAHHHH He’s my ideal man and i KIN him so bad you dont even know!!!

derek suarez crushing on you.

THIS PLAYLIST. IM TELLING YOU. one of the FAVES i made!! the pining, secret crush on mc for a loong time, the angst GOSH. so cute. every song in this plays a part on each moment with him i swear

#3 BAXTER WARD

ANGST MAN.

5 years after baxter ward.

one thing i noticed about our life is it lacks certain angst aspects when the baxter dlc didn’t exist YET back then. like i LOVED the fight between mc and cove in mcs room and i wanted it to escalate more ngl just cuz i LIVE for angst! but if you want to get real hurt you should choose baxter. this playlist focuses more on the last step of his dlc and its full of taylor swift songs.

baxter ward.

honestly this playlist is catered more to his vibes, his character (i listen to this playlist and i imagine edits of him lol) but i guess some songs are related to his story/lore? i made this waaay before 5 years after baxter ward and when the baxter dlc didn’t exist yet and we all just knew him to be as the new neighbor in sunset bird but people like it i guess so here it is xD

anyway thats all for OL:BA series! GB Patch is cooking up Our Life Now & Forever and it’s not released yet! just on demo on steam and itch! i already have a playlist for it but so far i have only made Qiu Lin (one of the leads of the game) i also have a privated filo inspired playlist for baxter if you want to listen to it let me know so i can put it up in public!

[raveneira]

Its kinda funny how ppl used the recent chapter to say it proves Sarada saved Boruto there and that we all made fun of her for nothing, when KK literally says in that timeline he saw she and Boruto BOTH were killed by Kawaki, so how does that prove her intervention saved him? KK literally says she tried to help him AND DIED

These are the same ppl who will tell you you lack reading comprehension, yet look at a panel where KK clearly says Sarada DIES when she tried to intervene and say 'See!? this proves she saved Boruto! we told you so!'

Like...how dumb can you be fr? this timeline proves what everyone was already saying, that she DID NOT SAVE HIM, infact, it was actually everyone that showed up AFTER she was about to be killed that saved him and changed his fate here, this vision literally proves that Sarada didn't do shit to change his fate, all she did was be killed right alongside Boruto if her dad and the others didn't arrive when they did.

But I shouldnt be surprised, till this day ppl still give Hinata praise for Minato's fail safe he placed a whole 15 years in advance, ppl still claim Hinata is the one who saved Naruto when it was infact Minato that did, because had Minato not have had that backup plan for this EXACT situation then Naruto would've let himself be consumed and died, taking who knows how many ppl with him.

Now their doing the same thing with Sarada, claiming her intervention is what saved Boruto's life, when it was actually everyone else arriving when they did that changed that fate, Sarada did absolutely nothing in that situation but make it go from bad to worse

But to be fair I'll be a little generous to Hinata tho, because she actually did at least TRY to do something to protect Naruto, she didn't just go there just to be in the way, she TRIED to fight Pain, she was just outmatched, she knew that and still tried to take him on and fight him back even if only for a few seconds

Sarada did nothing but bluff, for ppl who talk about 'love' makes one act irrational and thats why her running there to help Boruto is proof that her feelings for Boruto are more genuine than Sumire's who stayed behind but they conveniently forget the other part of that

Love doesnt just make you irrational, it gives you courage and strength, the desire to protect someone precious to you is when you become truly strong, remember that? because we saw it with Hinata, Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, know who we ain't see it with? Sarada, because she went there blew one fireball and then froze up TWICE when Boruto was about to die, which adds up with KK saying she was going to die there, not very hard to believe when she just stood there both times he tried to take their lives so yea, I can definitely see how that future came about.

So my point? love doesnt just make you irrational like these ppl try to simplify, its true it does make you irrational, but it also makes you brave, it makes you strong, it gives you the strength to act even in the most hopeless situation where you know there's no chance of success but you do it anyway, you TRY, succeed or fail you TRY and die trying if thats what it comes to, but the one thing you DONT do? is just stand there WAITING to die, thats the OPPOSITE of what love does.

Oh and I know the excuse 'well she was scared, this was intentional, its part of her development to realize shes weak and wanna get stronger' great argument, except that was already established in 69

We already established her recognizing her weakness, her frustration at it, her wanting to get stronger so that next time she WILL be there to protect Boruto, you'd think this would be set up for a big payoff in 78 where Boruto is in trouble again and this time Sarada's able to save him right? now we're gonna see her resolve right? this convo in 69 was setup for a big pay off here right? apparently fkin not cuz this is what we got

Ok lets be generous, it was the heat of the moment, she choked, but now shit just got real, Boruto's whole eye is sliced, she sees Kawaki is serious now, she saw Boruto get hurt because of her weakness when it came time to step up, she failed to protect Boruto AGAIN when he needed her

Now surely we'll get the payoff right? if she doesn't act now then she and Boruto will DIE, Boruto has already been badly hurt because of her weakness, surely NOW is where her resolve kicks in and she protects him for real right? nope

You really dont get goofier than this, Naruto and Sasuke had their coward moments too don't get me wrong, but the difference is THEY GOT OVER IT, they REFLECTED on their weakness and cowardice and resolved to be stronger in the future, but think about it, Sarada already reflected and resolved to be stronger and prepared in the future, so why when even the danm narrative itself set this moment up to be where Sarada shows her resolve to not be weak and protect Boruto like she wants to, why do we only see her freeze, waver, and crumble when she has the chance to act?

Because this isnt just a 78 isolated case, she does it in 79 and 80 as well

Hate to say it but its the truth, the girl lacks resolve, she talks big but when its time to back it up she folds like paper

She failed to be there for Boruto when Kawaki killed him because she didn't even know he was in danger, she was mad at herself and resolved to get stronger so that next time Boruto's in danger she'll be there to protect him

What does she do with every chance she has to do that?

She froze and cost Boruto his eye

She froze and almost let them both die

She stands there shakin Mitsuki yellin at him to listen to her instead of protecting Boruto

She falls to her knees crying after hearing Naruto was killed and completely ignores Mitsuki saying he's going to kill Boruto and going off to do just that

But surely after all of those fumbles she'll pick herself up and finally resolve to stop being weak and be there for her friend right? unfortunately not, instead we get this

Flat out confirmation that she wasnt so in shock that she didn't hear what Mitsuki said, she heard him clearly say he was going to kill Boruto and she just let him go off to do that, if Sasuke never showed up Sarada would still be sitting there crying while Boruto is being slaughtered by Mitsuki or whoever else found him.

While shes there whining and crying to her dad, Boruto is fending for himself against team 10, it doesn't matter that she managed to convince her dad to go save him, why wasn't SHE there trying to save him herself? WHY did it take Sasuke showing up for her to even move? WHY did it take Sumire telling her 'hey we're the only ones who can help Boruto right now' for Sarada to finally do something? which she didn't, she begged her DAD to do something while she stayed behind continuing to do nothing.

This is the exact same crap ppl give Sakura shit for with Naruto's promise, even tho he made the promise of his own volition, ppl dragged Sakura for putting the burden of bringing Sasuke back on Naruto instead of takin action herself.

Which leads me back to what I said about self reflection...so do you think after all of this Sarada reflected on her weakness and made moves to make sure she was never this weak and powerless again? to make sure this time she can protect Boruto with her own strength and not have to rely on her dad to resolve everything? feel even a tad bit of remorse for placing that type of burden on her dad? putting him in harms way just to protect her friend because SHES too weak to? surely she's gonna have her own version of this right?

Surely we were gonna see Sarada finally reflect and address her weakness and work to change it NOW right? after all of that? surely NOW right? nope

Know what she does? yap, and Im not even kidding, thats literally what she does.

And yaps

Freezes

Yaps some more

Hugs

Yaps about hug in her head

Still not doin nothin to stop Mitsuki

Zero reflection, zero remorse, zero accountability, and zero effort to do anything different than she was before

But yall wanna claim she saved him and everybody was wrong this whole time lol she not only didn't save him, she has consistently gone out of her way NOT to save him at any point afterwards besides sending her dad to fight her battle for her.

Sakura had an excuse, she had an obligation to not fight on the frontlines as a medical ninja, Sarada has no such obligation preventing her from taking action at any point I mentioned, she chooses to stand back, chooses to be helpless, and chooses not to protect him when shes more than able to.

And no, Im not sayin she should flat out fight Mitsuki, but why the hell is her only effort just yelling 'Mitsuki! listen to me!' over and over? why not get in front of Boruto? why not punch the ground between them to split em up? hell why not even grab Mitsuki and hold him back? you don't have to outright fight somebody to still protect, nobody is saying she should haul off and start brawling with Mitsuki, but don't just stand there yellin 'listen to me!' when you know danm well he ain't gon listen and is attacking your friend right in front of you

So yea trying to use that panel to say she saved Boruto there is laughable because it literally proves the opposite, in that timeline nobody else arrived to help them, so it was up to Sarada herself to protect Boruto and she failed, I dunno how anybody took this as a W for her, this is literally one of her biggest Ls and none of yall should be celebrating it.

[itsyagurlchip]

WAIT I SENT THE ASK TOO EARLYA AUWHAUDHDEKDVW

how is the original bone skeleton man doing?? OH OH AND is the setting the usual portal opening in the house and bam you've got new uncles or something else??? YAIOEPEPWLWKWPWBAOAV

buckle up, cuz this is super long yall 🥲

OKAY!!! THIS IS WHERE MY "INTERESTING" PART COMES IN 😁 monsters are just coming to the surface, and speciesism is as high as ever. after a year of this, queen toriel decides to open a human-monster program, something that also promotes her small school.

monsters adopt humans! ebbot was a bit iffy on it, but after realizing the benefits the mayor eventually agreed. (jk that nigga only wants the money 💀-) It was hard to get the program started, because many schools and orphanages werent as trusting, and the state wasn't fundinh it at all. So Toriel took a different approach.

Many monsters put their savings into it, considering their currency is literal fucking gold, and the program would allow each child to get $1000+ per month, depending on their age and needs. and yes giving kids thousands of dollars per year doesn't sound like a good idea, but shhhhh! the plot my dear!

The monsters who take care of them aren't allowed to use it themselves in selfish situations. Both the child and the guardian has rules.

one) you guys have to interact in some way. whether it be verbally, or even physically. two) NOTHING 18+, as all children being minors, that would be kinda weird. three) follow laws as follows- just dont be a shitty parent. four) the child has to want to participate as well, and cant do anything to hurt the guardian. including verbally (bc monster souls are made of feelings pretty much [thats another hc for another day])

id love to go deeper into the details, yet i however cannot bc i dont know how a parent-child program works.

and you have to be in the program for 1 month before you or the child wants to back out.

doesn't matter if its one-sided or not, when someone doesn't like it it immediately stops. id like to say that frisk and papyrus put most if their money into this, just so she can be adopted by toriel.

so when papyrus sees that gaster and sans have been stuck in the lab (not the basement!) for globs of hours at a time, sporadic sleeping, and overall exhaustion from work, he says the craziest shit

"SINCE YOU TWO ARE NERD BUMS, AND I CAN'T ALWAYS BE AT HOME FOR YOU TWO, I ADOPTED A HUMAN CHILD!!"

sans, in his sleep deprived state, promptly rose an eyebrow and fell out of his chair onto his side.

yea, its not that he didn't take the thing well, bro couldn't process it 💀💀

gaster just rolled his only visible eyelight and went back to work

....

well that worked well!!

reader arrived to the house the next day, and seeing that it was a two story house!?!?

AND there was an in-law suite? fuck yea! orphan kid made the jackpot 💥💥😼

they had fuckin steps too les goo!!

Your dark skin shined against the light of the sun, your brown eyes sparkling in excitement.

reader let go of papyrus's hand and ran inside immediately.

Careful as to not smudge your dirty shoes against the shiney floor, you looked around the house in amazement. This place had to have atleast 5 rooms!

and then the in law suite on the side looked like another 2 rooms!?? BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!!

Not only did you have super nice guardians (you hoped), they were packed enough to keep you and themselves stabilized!! Hell, if theirs more people, they could support them aswell!!

Taking off your shoes, you looked around the living room. The long couch was green, albiet a bit patchy for a nice place, while the tan side couches could lean back!!

where those outlets on the sides? omg

"HAVING FUN DEAR HUMAN CHILD?" Papyrus smirked. He knew that the house of the Great Papyrus was enough to impress anyone, even of young ages.

"You guys are so rich!! wow- i mean, not that im tryna take your money or anything, but like- WOW!! Its so big!! Bigger than anything ive ever been to!" You were now flapping your hands and bouncing a bit. Your locs of hair bounced in it's pony tail no matter how small the fidget-hop was.

Behind the living room was a beautiful and lavish kitchen, and to the right there was the steps. To the right it looked like some like of master bedroom or guest bathroom.

But you didn't care about rooms right now, you wanted to see your other guardians!!

"Where are the other people im supposed to be meeting? Are you my only guardian or do they have to take care of me too? Are they mean? Are they bums? I hope they dont smoke or something, Do they have an addiction? What about-"

"THAT!, DEAR CHILD, IS GOING TO BE FOR INTRODUCTIONS!! DO NOT WORRY, WHILE THOSE TWO MAY BE GRUMPS, THEY ARE PLEASANT PEOPLE TO BE AROUND...EVEN IF THE LACK OF SLEEP TAKES THEIR PLEASANT PERSONALITY AWAY..." Papyrus concluded. You noticed that, despite the way he tried to talk to himself, you still heard it loud and clearly.

Maybe he had a hard time with volume control. meh.

Grabbing your hand and leading you towards the back door next to the kitchen, Papyrus opened the door. He had to lean down a bit in order to hold your hand, but he didn't mind.

The hallway was looooong. Instead of it being regular walls, it was glass windows of different colors. Which made you raise an eyebrow abit.

Seeing your reaction, the tall skeleton explained, "SINCE WE DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH SPACE FOR EXPERIMENTAL ACTIVITY, TOTALLY NOT BOMBS, MY BROTHER AND FATHER DECIDED TO LIVE IN THE SUITE!" He said, walking and talking.

You both reached the end of the hallway, hearing mumblings, ramblings, and overall terms that lowkey hurt your brain.

Getting too excited, you open the door to a glass-based lab. With the occasional plastic and metal equipment.

In the middle of the room there was an island counter filled was rainbow colored stuff ('gay as hell' , you sniggered), small green candies, and lots and lots if paper and pencils sharpened to the ends.

At one end of the room, there was a tall skeleton, a little shorter than Papyrus, who was more goop than skeleton. Infact, he looked like someone took a fire torch to his upper body, but you didn't say anything.

At the other end, there was a short skeleton, probably shorter than you (hah, being 5'0 did pay off), laying with his head on the desk, knocked out with blue slob. You marveled at the sight, wanting to know more about monsters at this revelation.

"FATHER! BROTHER! THIS IS THE CHILD I ADOPTED FOR ALL OF US!" Papyrus announced, grinning undauntedly. The smaller skeleton banged his head on the desk at the loud voice, while the other one barely flinched and turned slowly in irritation. "INTRODUCE YOURSELVES WHILE I MAKE LUNCH FOR THE GROWING FETUS!" He declared, marching out with a big smile.

If this plan went correctly, then his favorite family members would be mentally stable (as much as one could try- he thought to himself).

after banging his head on the damned table, sans sat up a bit disoriented.

why was there a human child in the house?

why was it in the lab?

"uhh kid, ur not supposed be here...uhh, its not safe and uh, you could die."

"WOW! Your so freakin cool! How do you talk without moving your face? Are you wearing a mask? I could die here! ooh shiney stuff, can i touch it?"

yea.. this kid has not had a proper friend in a minute

he was overwhelmed by the questions you asked at first, he didn't answer them at all in favor of watching gaster struggle to calm you down.

sans didn't mind how loud you were, it was moreso the curiosity that you brought along with you.

that wouldn't do.

"Hey! What's this?" the kid asked, walking towards the machine that could very much possibly cause the heat death of the universe, before getting snatched up by gaster.

"Enough! you are here to introduce yourself, and you will do as such" It was funny to see the man twitch like that. sans likes this kid already.

After knowing your name and age, sans was a bit surprised.

he honestly thought you were younger.

while introducing himself he tried to keep it simple and short. how old is he?

"how old am i old man?"

His blue slippers shifted from the movement of his ankle bones.

he thought you were just an average kid, but something about you was different.

oddly enough you always wore these earrings saying Y on the right and N on the left.

he wonder what it meant

Now its a week past since you came into the 'haunted house', aka the skele-dungeon

you two play pranks against gaster when he has free time. watching him bounce his leg in irritation every time he finds a lima bean in his notes is pure gold.

since you're virtual, due to your choice, he tries to take you places.

some of the most consistent ones are dance class every saturday and neighborhood walks you take by yourself.

I think of sans is the type of person to give less of a shit about his dad.

mostly because if the way he approaches things, iN tHE NaME oF sCIeNcE

it pisses him off everytime he tries to ask you for a blood sample

and it makes him even angrier when you say yes without a second thought.

but despite that, he cares about gaster.

but he wants to choke him out being his first son.

Despite being constantly sleep deprived, he makes time for this little new joy in his life.

Back then he's sleep at his desk, especially when his magic reserves were too low to shortcut.

But now, and you thought he didn't notice, you carry him to the living room of the main house and turn the tv volume down to 9 when you cant fall asleep.

another thing you both have in common

More often than not, you both find each other at the odd hours if the night.

since he can barely cook shit, it's mostly you making the midnight snacks

he appreciates the food you make for him, despite him initially coming to get a 10 1/2 ounce bag of chips

other times you guys will sit in the living room in silence

occasionally he'll find himself rambling to you about physics, specifically quantum, so he can keep his memory up.

sans likes the way you treat his brother.

as an uncle and not a childish cousin.

You may not be able to keep up with Papyrus's schedules and puzzles

but when you can, you two shine this wholesome light on the whole house that makes sans's soul ache lovingly.

Papyrus likes to take you out for walks more than him, or you'll both hang out in the backyard next to the glass hallway of the suite.

on his breaks, he'll find you two doing silly things

like rolling in the grass

or trying to carry each other.

without being able to admit it, sans and papyrus feel a new joy in their life.

and they got a cool kid to come with it :)

Gaster and sans were in the lab when his father said the most dumbest shit his nonexistent ears could ever listen to

gaster was never fully succumbed into the void, as sans had saved him before anything totally horrible happened.

hence his melted face and arms.

but he saw something, or rather somethings, that his meticulous little nerd brain has been hyperfiaxting on since the child came.

"Let's discover new universes!"

sans was just like 'naw, jit crazy'

so gaster fucks around with the machine for a while in secret while sans is frolicking with his newly adopted child.

ew, children.

but he guesses that she's okay, despite her adamant queries (hehe).

and soon enough, the machine made that man find out after he fucked around

Now that the machine stopped pouring in different variants of his children, this only made gaster more excited to use the machine.

sans on the other hand was fuckin freaking out.

the damn geezer did it

but not only that, there are aggressive ass versions of him who are willing to kill a child and that wont go.

sans is not gonna give on the things that bring him joy that easy.

*insert battle sequence*

ok so he got his ass whooped, no biggie.

and now his adopted child is befriending them. great.

annnddd now his brother is taking care of them. even better.

AANNNDD now his father is too interested in them to try and find a way to send them back. AMAZING!

bro wants to jump off a roof at this point

to be honest, he doesn't like the other versions of himself.

Theyre different possibilities of what could've happened currently and he already thinks about that enough.

but, reader likes them, so he gives them a pass.

but if they hurt her...or even worse, his brother...

he wont need the machine to figure out a way to take them out of this world.

KITTY!! THANK U SM!!! ✨❤️✨❤️✨🫣❤️🫣❤️ EKKK!! YOU GUYS BRING ME SUCH JOY 😋😋😋 YAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYATATATTATATATTATATATATATTATATATTATATATATTATATATA IM SO HAPPY!! YHSHABDGSIWKSBHSUWBWHAISNEGEYGSBAOWOAMQNWHUDBRYDUBJQIBSGATUWOWUEHRBXKMXBSYSJBSBZ-

i know the reader sounds super excited rn, which is sorta unexpected for an orphan centered fic, in the official thing you're gonna see a less than..nice attitude from them.

btw i wanna make a house plan to this can make more sense for your guys. ohhhhhhhh- IM TOO DAMN EXCITED 😋😋💕 i prolly gotta learn skeleton anatomy too-

@kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @amorvincitomnia-14 @spongejuice @cyb3r-st4r. if you would like to be added, check my blog. if you would like to be added, check my blog. SEE? I SAID IT TWICE!!

[throwingmuses]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii its been Quite a minute since i last postd huh . nothing serious going on 2 worry about thankfully im just uhhh Starting to think that we were Not built to endure thhe 40-hour work week ? But what the fuck ever i guess we ummmmm adapt!!!!!!!*grins nicely*

(""life update"" undr the cut for the freaks who r into tht kinda thing ...)

SO the new job has actually been going pretty good so far. Well as good as working any minimum wage job can be of course but it s certainly been a real decent gig regardless. surprisingly enjoyable at times even which is Huge. Definitely muchhhhhh better than evry single one of my previous jobs LOL. most difficult thing about it hasnt even rlly been related to the job itself but moreso the fact that this is the first time in FOUR whole ass years that ive like uhhh actually worked in the traditional sense i guess ? not 2 mention the other fact Which is that this is also the first time in my lyfe that i am workin full-time w/ an actually consistent schedule instead of like the spotty ""part time"" retail/restaurant shifts im used to having to put up with Oh also i work 10 hr shifts 4days in a row now so uhhhhhhh yeah theres been a lottt of adjusting ive needed to do lately To Say The Fucking Least 😀 on top that of course theres always 10millionbillion things that are demanding the money i hvnt even been paid yet beCause payroll has been a nightmare And also my psychiatrist turned into a total flake and general jackass out of literally nowhere so i gotta find a new one of those uhhh pretty soon actually LOL but i guess considering evrything that has rapidly changed in like every single area of my life recently i think ive actually been coping alright. or at least MUCH better than i hav in the past jesus fucking christtttttttttttt. mostly just been having a lot of sobbing fits and smoking a lot of pot but like whats new there right. so i would say thats pretty good given my track record :]

luckily my job does not require much if any real socializing as like a job duty or anything (THANK FUCKING GOD) But especially aftr spending a verrrrrryyyyyy long time isolating and essentially imprisoning myself in my home due 2 xtremely awful agoraphobia in conjunction with the fact of just like being Visibly Mentally Unwell and having to just embrace that as apart of who i am or whatever Any and every interaction i have with any other given person @ work makes me feel totally & completely socially maladjusted and PAINFULLY awkward and pathetic....... But at least im becoming more comfortable w/ the concept of being or at least being seen as a bumbling little freak and just feel like ive been coming back in2 myself finally once again and figuring out what all of that shit means now. the haze ive been kindof stuck in for several years by now has been clearing more and more as the days go on and im finding that im starting 2 move on from a lot of different things without even rlly intending to. ive just been generally letting go en masse but this time not in the self - destructive fashion. its nice to be able to say that and to finally have that previously unimaginable inverse experience where u encounter those things that typically rocket U up to neurotic levels of distress only 2 find yourself reacting to them as if u had never or had even entirely forgotten that you were ever tormented by those things in the 1st place . literally fucking unimaginable to me And yet somehow it just likeee happens. whut the fuck. But i dont really need or want to understand it cuz im just happy to b able to objectively say tht my life is getting better. also a previously unimaginable concept to me but one thats been seeming more and more plausible somehow despite all of the bullshit yknow?

ANYWAYS all that being said i also wanted 2 mention that over the next few days i will finally be able to go thru my inbox and share all the fundraisers ive been asked to share here since i am actually not busy as balls for a bit (For Fucking Once), but since theres quite a few ill be queueing them to post over the span of the next couple days or so to make sure they can be seen by more people!!!

okay thnx for reading(/glacing at) all of this love U now back to my typical bullshit

[borathae]

Chapter 2

That dick is all over campus” call that a hoeyager

oh they are very serious oof

running for her life?? TAE WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT TO DO TO ME???

“A gentleman’s secret muhee hee hee hee

“Your car is really sexy truer words ahve never been spoken

Do you enjoy music? watch his ass play johnny marvin

WHAT IS DOIJG ?? *im guessing he can charm/manipulate minds?

You didn’t want to say this, why did you say this? MOM(2seok,kook) PICK ME UP IM SCARED

You shiver and blink, feeling as if you finally found the way out of something. But what?  BYE TAEHYUNG UM I WILL COME BACK TO YOU, later..... like 500 years later as reincarnation bye

I knew that you would enjoy this place”, hOW DID U KNOW??

(footsteps)Taehyung’s were silent. STOP BYE IM LEAVIMG IM SCARED KOOK SHOULD HAVE BEEN FASTER TO COLLECT ME AAH

every lovely lady I spent time with, always shifts to my descent sooner or later.” whoops hee hee

“I want to talk to that source one day, they seem to have the raunchiest details about artists” mr. dracula must be fluttering

resting bitch face is very annoying, especially when it looks like a certain someone and u cant rest it, even at home (was a struggle in lockdown)

“It’s a little eerie here HOMEGIRL IS THAT THE ONLY THING U FOUND EERIE YET???

ofc a murderer wouldnt tell you, imagine u going

excuse me, young lady, you look really good tonight

-oh thank you, u shouldnt have

well i have to, cuz its going to be your last night.

-what?

im a murderer, so let me just stabby stab yeah?

-oh yeah sure why not, since u are polite

ok mr. not a murderer, would u mind making me hungry for more healthier stuff??? and also not let me gain weight???? thank yew

such a big house????? that you own???? in this economy????

Are you going to cook dinner for me? nope he is about to pull a hannibal and make u the dinner for all the housemates 😭

I fear not, I am quite terrible in the kitchen. But worry not, you will still get delicious food. sir i wisheth u stopped thy habit of speaking old english (jk, go on, make me laugh lol, i literally pulled on my old pants that comes up to knees and wore socks above)

A scarlet red rope adorns his naked body, opened in the front to reveal his toned torso and the matching silk pants adorning his sculpted legs. I AM HOE, SERVANT, AND MAID AND YOURS PERSONALLY, HOW MAY I SERVE YOU, SIR????

descending down the stairs like a graceful cat. ah the line is so good i love it, i can see it, not like i wasnt seeing 95% of the scenes like a movie in my head

she snorted she snorted SHE SNORTED GOOD NIGHT

He answered it clearly and loudly. WHAT DID HE SAY AAH

Where did he get that glass from? You can’t remember watching him stand up and get it. Or did he have it all this time already? boi what goes on

The movie about the messy street rat helping that weak cook U LIVED THAT LONG AND THATS YOUR OPINION??? UNCULTURED SWINE

his movie is a masterpiece. It’s about friendship and love and overcoming stereotypes, it’s so much more than just a rat helping a cook PERIOD TELL EM SIS

CARS ISNT BAD JIMINSHI MY LOVE

I like to refresh my memory sometimes SIR ANOTHER HINT AAH

How could I, a mere mortal man, sleep next to your beautiful body and not be tempted by my carnal desires?” MORTAL MAN??? U SURE ABOUT THAT?

feeling that i’ve seen them before somewhere” SAY WHAT OMG she is indeed special, i mean obviously why would 2seok call her and kook say we smell good

Do not open your doors tonight. Keep them locked.” THEY GOT DEAD BODIES PT 2

HUH??? how did she end up in the library?? does opening the door even for a second cause such stuff?

omg bad boi yoongles came to save us

the suspense is killing me the foreshadowing is hecking great

and im already excited to know more about all characters *squeaks

heheheh I love your reviews hehehe thank youuuu 💜💜

That dick is all over campus” call that a hoeyager

LMAOAO FOR REAL jfajds f

running for her life?? TAE WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT TO DO TO ME???

SUSPICIOUS INDEEEED

WHAT IS DOIJG ?? *im guessing he can charm/manipulate minds?

mhmhmhmmhmhmmmmmmmmmhhhhmmm 👀

You didn’t want to say this, why did you say this? MOM(2seok,kook) PICK ME UP IM SCARED

BESTIE HE IS DANGEROUS LIKE HELPPP

You shiver and blink, feeling as if you finally found the way out of something. But what?  BYE TAEHYUNG UM I WILL COME BACK TO YOU, later..... like 500 years later as reincarnation bye

LIKE LISTEN WHAT IS HE DOINNG??? HELLELEOOOO

I knew that you would enjoy this place”, hOW DID U KNOW??

👀👀👀👀👀

(footsteps)Taehyung’s were silent. STOP BYE IM LEAVIMG IM SCARED KOOK SHOULD HAVE BEEN FASTER TO COLLECT ME AAH

GIRLIEPOPS WE ARE SCARED

resting bitch face is very annoying, especially when it looks like a certain someone and u cant rest it, even at home (was a struggle in lockdown)

Oh no I'm sorry to hear that you can't even relax at home :/ I'm manifesting a safer living situation for you 💜💜

such a big house????? that you own???? in this economy????

so he rich RICH i see i see

Are you going to cook dinner for me? nope he is about to pull a hannibal and make u the dinner for all the housemates 😭

GIRL LEGIT LIKE PLEASE HELP HER

A scarlet red rope adorns his naked body, opened in the front to reveal his toned torso and the matching silk pants adorning his sculpted legs. I AM HOE, SERVANT, AND MAID AND YOURS PERSONALLY, HOW MAY I SERVE YOU, SIR????

lmao for real fjasjdfa

descending down the stairs like a graceful cat. ah the line is so good i love it, i can see it, not like i wasnt seeing 95% of the scenes like a movie in my head

GAAH EHEH THANK YOUU <33333

CARS ISNT BAD JIMINSHI MY LOVE

i must let you know that Cars is not Jimin's fave movie, Tae was just teasing him HAHAHAHAHAH i don't think that Jimin even has a fave movie tbhf JFAJDSFJ

feeling that i’ve seen them before somewhere” SAY WHAT OMG she is indeed special, i mean obviously why would 2seok call her and kook say we smell good

mmhmhmmhmhmhmmhmmmmm

Do not open your doors tonight. Keep them locked.” THEY GOT DEAD BODIES PT 2

LIKE SHE IS REALLY GONE NOW ISNT SHE FJASDFJ

HUH??? how did she end up in the library?? does opening the door even for a second cause such stuff?

mhmhmmmmmmmm 👀

omg bad boi yoongles came to save us

he is so hot tbfh.

the suspense is killing me the foreshadowing is hecking great and im already excited to know more about all characters *squeaks

gaah thank youu <333 I'm so happy that you're enjoying it so much heheheheh thank you for reading ilyy

[mihai-florescu]

Mihai. Mihai my enstars professor mutual. What the heck is going on with ryuseitai

Ok so i read some liveblogs but i havent read comet show or submarine so a lot of references to those were lost on me (im waiting for them to come to engstars) and thus im not the best professor for this story.

But the tldr is that there's an agency in Okinawa (same place Submarine was held in during the ss arc), Crimson Production, that opposes ES's monopoly and that's where a bunch of ex ryuseitai kids have gone to (theyre called Antistars). Tetora goes to help these kids and the media publicizes it as him leaving Ryuseitai. Shinobu goes to find out the truth, talks to Tetora about the opposing ideologies, the next day the news state that he also left Ryuseitai. So the rest of the group go to Okinawa to see what's up. They trespass, Tetora and Chiaki have an argument and fight, but dont worry, Tetora is a spy on the inside of CrimPro and needed to make his loyalty to them believable. Chiaki opens up to Tetora about his time in the war (i realise as i type this how ridiculous this game sounds to an outsider...)

This was a distraction for Kanata and Midori to find and free Shinobu, and to find papers to destroy the company. They get caught. The 5 are reunited inside the agency and Tetora reveals he is a spy for ES but he does genuinely want to help the antistars kids who are mistreated by CrimPro for being former ES idols. So CrimPro are evil and need to be destroyed but im a bit confused at this part ngl. Something something yakuza something something they actually kill people so it's super dangerous (i think this part has a callback to Submarine that im not getting). They cant go to the local police cuz the organization has inflitrated it so the only option for Ryuseitai is to renounce ES and join CrimPro.

While making the announcement theyre actually sending ES secret messages, dangerous stuff if they get caught. Theyre gonna hold a live for CrimPro which is a distraction for ES to intervene, and while theyre preparing for that, Tetora has a self hating monologue about his own skills and merits. He's not being self sacrificial bc he's a hero but bc he doesnt mind putting his life in danger::::)

At the live they discuss about roles and who's the leader. Tetora cant become Chiaki, but he can be his own person with his own skills, and like this maybe he can even surpass Chiaki. They keep their colors but those expectations of having to fill in Chiaki's shoes are going away. So anyway, back to the live, Ryuseitai had secretly sent back to Eichi evidence to condemn CrimPro and now he's ready to bust them down (i dont know if Eichi is there personally with the police or if he's just in charge from above... i assume the latter?)

They tell themselves that they're not harming people but just destroying the environment where the evil had spread (Chiaki compares it to the war, but i think he's being idealistic...people Did get hurt in the war too. There's a cenotaph for the students who killed themselves afterall...) And uh. Then we get to the epilogue, that I haven't seen translated yet. I assume they're successful (imagine if we went through all of this only for someone to die lmao)

So. Ta daa. Thats it. Erm. I know this isnt new to enstars but i feel like things have felt more dangerous and high stakes, especially in the ss arc and 1.5 (negi just. Faked being shot by a hitman. That shit was traumatizing. This is set after that). I dont really know what other stories we could get of Ryuseitai set in our current year if im being honest. This felt like Climax yknow?

Well, im looking forward to translations of this story cuz im not entirely clear on everything just with the livetweets. And looking forward to reading comet show and submarine when they come to the english server. Hope this was helpful^_^

[snaileo]

Top 5 batshit characters you’ve encountered

in Nooooo particular order...hmmm i really gotta think about this cuz i feel there are Easy ones i could list. but then again this isnt objective, nor do i need to dig deep for this to be a nice list. 1. Umataro Tenma

Of course I feel the first i should mention is Umataro Tenma. like I can't start this list off any other way, this man recreated his own son in the form of a robot and then abandoned him when his senses came to him ( but they left as soon as they showed bc man was back on his bullshit next day) like truly. Batshit King. and thats only his most well know Shit. like this one time he deliberately went back in time, i dont even remember what for, i think it was steal the not Yet Awake atom, and his younger self SEES HIM and LIGHTS HIM UP. theyre BOTH batshit young and old

like. i feel like we dont talk about how tenma was strapped enough.

2. Terry Silver

The next batshit queen on my mind recently is none other than Terry Silver. It Is Very Normal And Well Adjusted Behavior to terrorize a teenager, torturing him physically and emotionally, all because your Bestie, Your Cinnamon Fucking Apple, told you to. You know. Very Normal Behavior for people in their idk. 40s. Dude is a coked up billionaire and he wanted to play the part of Humble Down to earth man so well that he bought a beat up truck, all just to fuck with daniel.

And Oh Totally normal to go through extensive therapy, turning your life around and overcoming it all, only for it all to be undone because?? Oh?? My Wrongdoings CAnnot BE UNDONE??? BY SAYING IM SORRY???" like the moment he realized daniel wasnt gonna accept his sorry ass excuse it was Over. 30 years of therapy down the toilet.

3. Diva

Here's a more tragic one. The me from 6 years ago would kill me right now for even posting her face because I use to be SUCH a stickler for spoilers regarding her but idc right now

ANYWAY shes for real batshit and shes one of those characters who you can be sympathetic towards, the tragedy of knowing how she got to be this way but god you deserve everything coming to you. There are many things she does as truly batshit but an often forgotten one is stealing the shoes of a man she just killed. And she's later shown putting them on, before continuing her killing spree and doing something that altered the trajectory of the story forever

she also has an operatic voice, which her singing alone is an omen for bad things to come

4. The Monarch

This is a more recent one as rock had showed me The Venture Brothers and i hate this man. I hate him and i love him. I don't have much to say other than i want to bully him I genuinely want to bully him

hes just so pathetic. he didnt want rusty getting therapy because he couldnt shit on his day , because well...he was in therapy and theres rules, so he killed his therapist so he'd be free. to. Shit on his day like i dont kno waht to tell you.

5.Hannibal

this one may feel cheap but understand that like. him being batshit is the greatest thing ever .and hes def one of my favs in terms of being batshit. he made the show such a wild ride and like Cookie I am Looking at you we WILL watch Hannibal (tv show) idk wanna say anything else for spoilers but yeah theres some batshit characters for u

[solardick]

Honestly. If rather be tortured by russians. Amd have a war to fight. Instead of

Being forcbly turned into aqueer agains typur own better nature. But. Thats not

My decision to make.

Nothing beats a girls smile. Well ive spent the last 25 years in solitude and mesiry. Lloks like ill be spending the next 25 years in solitude and agony.

When a guy smoles at me. Im like wtf you smiling at?!

Vaca time coming. Thats 240 hours of stairing into a tv screen. Its honan be great.

Awefully lot of white hatchbacks driving around lately.

What do white hatchbacks have to do with the number 22? You cope with a machinated reality.

Curious swntence in type. Without the hype. Read into what you project. Save that if i were to type it like this. It becomes a little more conscricted. you Cope with a machinated reality.

But f’course: You cope, in a machinated reality. Or You cope! With a machinated reality….? No. Or You cope with a machinated reality! No, the hype settles at the end. After the fact of seeing it. Save for perhaps not fully registered yet.

On the aide note. I beleive i was dosed again. Insomina fallowed by a system crash out of nowhere.

And my christmas present this year is being forced to quit another job. Or coasting till im forced out. Though thr whole job is an exasterbation of bs. And manipulation. But. I dont know what life is without it so. Its just partnof the scenery.

Look number 22 again.

It mwans gay rape.

But atleast i know cpr. I can save a baby oatch you up. But homestly. I probably womt cuz none of you seserve it.

And all the leaves are turning into ugly coulours. Begore they fall off the tree and die.

Mayhaps perchance one day ill be anle to freely express myself. But the world has made that impossible. I hate having attention. Thoughbit extends and is cumbersome. When it comes to the individual vis a vis, one on one. Freedom is less taxing. Blockage, for fear of reactions. Or lack of back and forth. The emidiate tendency is to be not cross the threashold and sustain a good thing. To move forward in that direction. Ive seen some, reactions of others becomes similar. Disappointment and distance.

Tried in the recent years. Save for all the blanketing on my existence. Sets up for a predetermined means. Everyone holding knowledge over you. As you stand aside of person. And supress thr healthy reaction of beaten them the fuck up or picking yourself of the ground and leaving. Save for that all outlets are controled. Even in the ones that are purely personal. If its connected to other people. Other people are not what they seem. And often enough times. Making it painfully obvious.

It comes in response to other sources. Which is, mostly, all is done. Part of the conditioning one would suppose. Attention is better served elsewhere.

Hope my ass gets better. So i can go back to studying a new tarot creation. Otherwise. Im not going to last long.

It be a dream to publish a deck and for it to hype. Influencing/manipulating women all over the globe for generations to come. Be something to die for.

Well, hope she likes anal. She’s gonna get alot of it.

Well im out of a job. Ive been through this a dozen tomes already i know hownit ends.

[kisssssessssssyj]

next week i finally have my very first psychiatrist appointment. It‘s mainly so I can get my meds prescribed (I‘m living off of scraps rn it feels like) but I really feel like I have a bunch to talk about.

kinda tw//death, sa, knifes and all that shit I dont wanna have this all open 😭

We can start with the fact that I‘m still super depressed from my mom‘s death, so sad I haven‘t even processed my grandma’s death yet. I still often feel like she‘s still alive I just dont see her as much.

Then my emmetophobia definetly, this phobia forbids me from eating on some days. I have frequent panic attacks when I‘m outside trying to meet people.

adding to that, I dont have any friends. I try to meet ppl irl and I get a panic attack and just leave, that is super embarrassing. I also get bullied at school even tho I‘m a fucking adult idk how that keeps happening to me.

then i need to recover from being sa‘d multiple times, thats something I havent even told many people cuz I‘m actually kinda embarrassed of it all :// I hate that I am

I also need to recover from that year long friendship that ended cuz my friend has a disorder she cant control. I‘m so sad she left my life even tho she has been the girl that came at me with a knife once. I know her diagnosis and I know so much about her that makes me think there is so much more. I wish she was still my friend and I wish we could ever find a way to match again

I especially need to learn how to trust people, anyone nice to me I feel like is just there to backstab me, like when classmates outed me as jewish infront of my classe‘s neo nazi. I‘m always scared to post on the internet cuz I think people will know its me.

actual intrusive thoughts haunt me, not those „oh lemme throw my sandwich at him“ but holding a knife is so scary to me cuz what if I accidentally stab someone??? adding to that I have this thing that when my wrists and neck arent coverd I feel so anxious (??) I‘ve had this since elementary school, it‘s kinda the only thing i remember from my time then but, when I dont wear a watch or a turtleneck i have to cover my wrists and neck because i literally feel like I‘m about to die. (it‘s not a constant thing but definitely often)

i dont sh anymore or have any thoughts of wanting to die and that I‘m very proud of but those arent the only symptoms of any disorder. I‘ve only ever been diagnosed with adhd, (dyslexia and dyscalculia) and depression but I know there is way more, especially do I think that I have autism since my symptoms go beyond just adhd.

now on a happier note and talking about adhd, my friend thinks he has adhd aswell (no diagnosis but me with my knowledge can definitely tell) and he talks about not wanting to take meds or anything, not cuz he feels like they’re bad or anything but because he has found a work place where he can work just like that and doesnt need that help of meds, I kinda felt like sharing cuz I‘m proud of him :3 thats my goal in life, finding a job in which I can work without any sort of meds <3

this was a long ass talk that could also be put in a diary but eh I’m not buying one and notes app is reserved for actual important things (like school work and appointments) tumblr is my personal diary.

thinking about it, I should maybe buy a diary and also write in it in German so I dont loose my skills (dyslexia affects mostly German for some reason I’m pretty good at English writing)

so i talked wayyyyyy too much but idc, if you read it all which i doubt cuz no one is on my blog, lmk cuz ily🙏😔😍

[rennyji]

"June 2nd tweets...here we go...",

"I‚m nothing like Ashton Kutcher, not even in my own right, especially nowadays.-",

"-But in my old Twitter days (back in 2012), I‚d tweet this following train of thought often. It went along the lines of: Ashton Kutcher is actually famous, ‚a somebody,‚ who needs to safeguard his reputation from libel, ‚and probably has and pays ‚Äòagents‚ of his own choosing‚ to-",

"-to monitor his likes and reputation. I‚m so not Ashton Kutcher in that regard or any regard. Yet I have people ‚steering my life as a whole.‚ I did not select them, and I do not even know them. They‚ve been doing what they want with a regular nobody‚life for 11+ years. -",

"-What do you make of that? Why am I not protected by my American citizenship amidst mindless zombies who just see - say it slowly: 11 years of secrets on a massive scale- everything as ‚cute‚ or casual. I mean to see this as cute... what kind of a rosy picture are you getting?-",

"-Do U know what great lengths the orchestrators took 2make me look crazy? The actual things done recently, &over these past 11 years? Where is that famous American altruism? Did they tell people these things? Not going to say it myself at this point, let the orchestrators do it.-",

"-Do they tell people, that I wrote complaints 2the FBI &that they hijacked my phone calls 2the police or rerouted them? Do they tell people about my run in w/the police at my old house &what they did with me, 4talking about ‚the situation‚ with my parents and telling the truth?-",

"-Do people care to ask? Are the orchestrator waiting for my permission to disclose? I mean, I give the orchestrators permission to disclose their aforementioned misdeeds. In cr*p American psychology, they‚re usually concerned about psychological impacts and trauma. -",

"-These racist f*ks didn‚t give a d*mn with me cuz I wasn‚t a blonde girl. Sick people on me, I dare you. Im not attached to conveniences of my life through years of meditative practices. Watch, despite that, for who I am during our 1st &actual confrontation/meeting. &my parents?-",

"-While you‚ve been living and continuing with your lives, while giving me a hard time, remember all these things you had me face. To speak in terms of your background, you had an altar server face the police, so don‚t dare to judge me for what I say or write. -",

"-and throughout all these experiences, I was compliant throughout everything-that too for 11 years. It just goes to show you, words usually being the answer, can only do so much. You deal with man-demons, don‚t waste time on word",

"next thing...-",

"-So on 6/1, I find out a doctor who my family knows, died on the evening of 5/31. She‚Harvard educated-all that work and to only pass away in her 40s. She‚a doctor and her husbands a doctor. They have two small kids, 10 and under. -",

"-She has the figure of someone, out of this world: like nice face, nice voice, only says nice things, goes out of her way for others, and smiles through everything. God bless her soul. -",

"-You see it as a privilege to be close with someone with those qualities and wish you could‚ve had the opportunity, outside of this situation.-",

"-Thats 1 woman who dies without seeing me on the other side of theSituation. Life, every second of thought/words/action is a gift thats normally invigorating. But its never long enough. Its in such a world, where 11+ years are taken out of ur life by genuine demons. They smile,-",

"-may seem altruistic, but the reality is, a normal human being cannot inflict pain on another, for an extended amount of time, without reason, simply for everyone to watch. They are Legion from the Bible, enveloping the masses.",

"oh and something else -",

"-I used to think of Americans as world saving altruists, and the setting here, on a good day without crime, to be like heaven with all its people. But in the last 11+ years, there‚something very wrong with the general mindset. -",

"-It doesn‚t seem like the common man is ‚awake‚-May sound like something from The Matrix. Everyone here is so plugged in and lacking in insight. I mean of all people, it was Americans that allowed this situation to fall on another American. -",

"-Rather than following your heart, your human spirit, you mindlessly/mechanically do what some...people?! ... tell you to do. Christ talks about the flesh and spirit being at war. But here, in America, the country lacks a soul.  The nation‚people lack maturity.-",

"- but in the face of big progress like the aforementioned, why halt or delay change, because of a  sudden concern how billion dollar companies will suffer. When two competing small businesses on the same street result in one failing, that same concern doesn't exist. -",

"-It's seen as the price of advancement and change.",

I once said we as a people always have what we need 2 progress or2 rise out of a situation however little/however much. It's about keeping our eyes open & exerting effort. I have the Alexia meditation seat. 4 the life of me I can't sit w/my legs folded. This $300 chair helps.-   https://t.co/q0wKoYyslj

"- its a bit of a relaxed example, but point being, if you can sit with comfortably with your legs folded, why do you need the meditation chair?",

"I don‚t think people get the value of someone‚undivided attention; their ability to listen.-",

"- sometimes with our own children, we dismiss everything as something inane or silly or not worth putting on the top of our list, as we‚re juggling work or making them dinner-",

"- but one thing I realized with some of my little cousins, looking at them, listening and responding to what they have to say, really makes them happy-",

"- in the workplace, you might be surprised how much of what‚said back and forth isn‚t of substance. You start off with one person speaking vaguely, then the next guy responds vaguely, might throw in a vague American reference-",

"- with politicians, I‚ve seen a clip where someone is asked something, and they‚re so out of it, they‚ll need to hear it again, and then they just keep repeating a reference that had no meaning and it‚taken as a joke. In our world, everyone just dismisses it.-",

"- Listening can have mutual benefits.",

"So, saw \"Jason Gordon Levitt\" on the news, after the repetitive topics of rigged elections, the name Hunter Biden, a symptom being live from a possible illness, the war on Ukraine causing grain shortages...there might've been one more topic that was cycled throughout the day...-",

"- Jason Gordon Levitt targets the AI effect on Hollywood workers...He says \"If AI uses your work, then you should get paid.\" I think that sums it up from which a lot of things can be extrapolated. -",

"- He says whatever is used to train the algorithm, ultimately one day producing whole movies, should be content that is paid to its source. -",

"-So this sounds like a patent. If ur sequence of camera movements, lightening techniques, wardrobe styles, acting styles, even faces of actors, the story lines of past movies, familiar phrases, accents, etc. are all used 4 the algorithm, U should patent it or do its equivalent.-",

"-if equivalent of a patent is applied 2 things AI replaces, U should find a way 2 attach ur individual or organizations name 2 something, so that U get royalty payments. Just seems like common sense; those who contributed 2 AI's algorithm, directly/indrectly, should be rewarded.",

"Life is like a field and we are all seeds in that field trying to sprout grow and become something. Why it rains in some areas more than others who knows.-",

"-Why it doesn't rain in some areas at all who knows. Why the earth under some seeds is more fertile.. who knows. Everyone has something and nothing going for them.-",

"-As a friend once said, ‚I‚m thankful for the things that I have but also the things I don‚t have. It‚what makes me, me.‚-",

"-Don‚t waste time hating someone for what you perceive as them having and not having because whatever it is you have/don‚t have are the tools you need to sprout grow and become something. After all, ¬†seeds do not waste time wondering what other seeds are doing.",

"I used to like to write very much. I loved twitter because it gave me a way to connect to new people and gain attention for my philosophical and perspective oriented mind. -",

"-How then can I continue to see here, as heaven-like. ive in each second, be conscious of what you do, follow your heart.Some of you hear this or something else, and look to it because it‚‚nice sounding‚ or ‚tantalizing‚ based on the subject. -",

"-But I speak/write to instill it‚meaning, to make a point, for others to learn from. Wake up, live a life of meaning.-",

"-Don‚t do things ‚for show‚ as ‚this situation‚ relays everything ‚for show.‚ Do things cuz it‚right or cuz it matters. Me? From all this? I just want a natural setting as described several times. -",

"-Relaying accomplishments, possible purchases, or whatever, has nothing to do with the goal set by me. It just builds random hype around a regular guy. -",

"-The orchestrators go against my whole way of doing things. Im a liberal when it comes to religion, but I go by whats said Biblically with respect to this. Do things good, do things in secret, to please your Heavenly Father who sees what‚secret, and He will reward you. -",

"-The orchestrators just can‚t respect my faith and wishes.",

"and something that happened the other day...-",

"-Went down to my basement - the other day-to do one thing, ended up doing 10 different things roaming through the mind, for other things present in life-",

"-I mean I have a focus now: Working, and working out. Based on those 2 goals, normally I‚d ignore other thoughts/ideas to possibly 10 other goals you didn‚t consider‚Äîhence how a person focuses. -",

"-(And then there are the thoughts/ideas/whatever cluttering ur mind b/c of orchestrators & the daily problems created & sourced in them, that is also taxing on ur focus-too much upstairs-& thats when every1‚having U explain every word, every action- peace of mind is priceless.-",

"-at Iona Prep High School, my GPA, weighted, was a 4.2 out of 4.0...at the party school where my parents paid for a private appointment and food delivery, having to only study, I should‚ve had at least a 4.0 GPA. -",

"-Knowing what theyve invested in me, I don‚t know why my parents are allowing this 2 happen 2 their son for 11 years. For 11 years, my mother has shown me a worse attitude then usual, minus loving listening or conversation or empathy...this is my world, but back to the point..)-",

"-But then when you‚re in a problem multiplied by a worsening factor against you by 11 years, you think to show other aspects of you. Attending to ‚the thing‚, ‚ the situation‚,‚the unknown‚ is time consuming and expensive. -",

"-Be it writing away your life or buying your coffee to meet people you‚re pretty sure will not talk to you. Truth be told, times 11 years, \"the situation\" and ur life in it, is all unrewarding. -",

"-Fills the mind with too many things to do...I mean when you do stuff, you orient your focus accordingly. But with the unknown and its variables, too many things demanding of your focus.",

"on a related note, but also transitioning to normal tweets  for the day-",

"-Clear and settle your mind, you slowly but surely, make progress in getting things done, and ultimately get things done...writing such things down can provide a release in normal situations, where everything‚not relayed-like in the Harry Potter series,-",

"-Dumbledore uses what‚called a ‚Pensieve‚ (a bowl of water where thoughts can be transferred to, until needed, or desired, for whatever be the purpose, ultimately clearing the mind...-",

"-I remember writing that in my first Twitter or the first time I had Twitter, with 16000 followers+...life repeats when no solutions...say the same old things cuz no one listens or likes to follow or hold onto tantalizing cr*p instead...-",

"on another note, talked to someone the other day and he suggested not to overdo something else...he‚cool, but it makes you wonder in these situations while something else is going on...is it a natural assumption or the result of a picture put in his head by someone else?!-",

"-(to the orchestrators, I‚m as good as a I say I am i.e. I take on and handle multiple kinds of sh*t)...really affects how one sees things I.e. this nonsense...-",

"-I mean, was talking to this hot girl for months a few years back and couldn‚t help but wonder if the correspondence was ‚for real‚ or because it was for entertainment...for whatever reason, she never disclosed the truth about \"the situation\" either...",

"so a thought on education...Education is not just math and science. It‚about being a thoughtful, well rounded individual. &the beauty of it is, you don‚t need a degree for that. Life experience, insight, or something else could do it too. Seeing it as anything less is ur ego.-",

"-2try 2achieve status of \"educated\", &then constantly be put in midst of those who are uneducated or who act as such can be frustrating..gotta expand the world..could lead 2meaningful conversations..rather than mechanical/uninterpreted literal understandings/talks of the Bible.-",

"-the orchestrators, in their childish way of doing things come off as uneducated. may have big degrees to use this kind of tech...but once again, it goes to show \"educated\" is not just about degrees, its how you use knowledge/experience.",

"more normal tweets in addition to the previous...-",

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"If u drinkTea, some teas require u 2 boil water&let teaBags sit 4at least 3min. But 4freshly brewed coffee or tea, it takes a while 4the beverage 2be only drinkably warm. Like 20 minutes 2 half anHour. I didn‚t want 2wait, so I thought Id give ‚HyperChiller‚ a try. $25 on Amazon.",

"So, I incorporated orangeJuice in2 my mornings, &thought Id invest in something w/comparably less sugar. Found Trop50 from Tropicana. Normal orange juice has 20+ grams of sugar. Trop50? 10 grams. Sucky part is that the Trop50 containers aren‚t as big as their biggest containers.-",

"-Trop50 tastes just as good as the original recipe...you wonder why they got to sell a version with extra sugar that has no added benefit...",

"If you‚re typing something in the Notes app, or I guess wherever on your iPhone, did you know, to undo typing, you just have to shake your iPhone up and down a few times?",

"If you have the AirPods Max headphones, did you know you cannot turn them off with a button? To conserve battery life and put them in standby, you gotta out them in the small case that it comes with.",

June 2nd early morning tweets right side up on tumblr blog link below:  https://t.co/Jvx1ULBOt2

"June 3rd tweets...as follows...-",

"-You know something, I mentioned how I like the name Rachel and once ‚knew of‚(not know) a girl named Rachel.I remember being in one of the reading rooms in the library at Binghamton, during my last year there. -",

"-Before I figured this girl was going out with someone, random girls would shout the name ‚Rachel‚ in the quiet of the reading room- alluding to my interest reaching an audience-",

"-...but in hindsight, why shout the name...was i to react to it in someway? Or was it because this cr*p started a little earlier?! I mean, what?, shout the name and see how I react? On ‚what ‚Äòlevel?‚‚ This girl would always post a profile pic with two of her best friends.-",

"-On one occasion, I told a guy I was interested in this girl. One of her best friends was sitting a distance away, diagonally, at another table, in the food court. I‚ve always wondered if this girl had super sonic hearing...-",

"-or is something relaying what I‚m saying...the very next day, after my conversation,-",

"-I go to the coffee kiosk in the library and there are girls acting differently...when the girl dates a mechanical engineering major, after Easter or spring break, I go through the dining hall and there are random girls with the look, ‚lol you lost ur chance‚...-",

"-then when I‚m at the Starbucks up in Binghamton, there‚another best friend taking a picture of me through the glass window of the starbucks. Was that to show her friend that I‚m not bothered about anything or because they were feeding into a medium? It could be-",

"-the medium as there were other kids with cameras...I think I remember telling my own friends about it. When I wrote about the girl on Facebook in Albany, a friend from a part time job in Binghamton messaged me on Facebook saying it‚a bad idea. -",

"-I guess I forgot 2remove him before writing was intended. But the thing with this is, in my calculus class in Albany, there was white male - little older than the rest- on 1day, who seemed enthusiastic to talk to me. Post writing on Facebook, he looked serious and ignoring me.-",

"-How could all of these social or environmental reactions happen within a day?! While I was in freedom apartments in Albany, there was what sounded like these slight male/female voices for a brief time while I was only there. Were those my roommates or...-",

"-questions questions, is cr*p American psychology waiting for something like this as part of their ridiculous methodology for some sissy American girl treatment? Trust me, in saying that I‚m not advertising myself as ‚gangsta.‚ What do you think of me? -",

"-You see a soft angle to a multi angle personality and think I‚m going to sensitively handle or cannot handle everything? What is my focus, and who is my audience?- remember that from the complaint form writing?! Am I not repeating everything from 11 years ago?-",

"-Compared 2habits now like buying sh*t, back then I was working out &swimming @ the local YMCA. So what is this cr*p about?! When I went to the FBI office in Bethlehem, NY , before the agent I spoke with, spoke to me, him &a woman on the upper floor of that area had these looks -",

"-on their faces like why is ‚he‚ here... when I wrote on a complaint form he suggested-probably as part of the f*kin country‚conspiracy to get me to write all day everyday- about certain kids, they walk past me, enraged, the next day. -",

"-When I went to guilderland police department in the middle of the night, there was an officer behind a computer screen and an female officer talking to me. After talking to me partially, the female officer goes to the guy at the computer and I hear ‚what! You means it‚true?!‚-",

"-Then she returns and tells me that what I‚m saying is nothing. This much denying and getting people to follow instructions. I tell people to do something good with their lives, for themselves, they won‚t do it. But you manage the world to be fake around me!-",

"-How is that, why is that? Remember you racist f*, in the end of this, one of us will be ruined. Whites and blacks, see your country in all its glory.",

"now in shifting the mood, focus...moving onto the next thing...",

"so a thought on relationships...-",

"-I believe before meeting a woman to be your girl friend or wife, having a career or at least a promising academic career, is essential. I means it‚different if ur just friends. When I first started college with my first major of engineering, it wasn‚t going well. -",

"-In trying 2also have a good routine/schedule/full life, I still made time 4working out, part time jobs, &a girl friend. But as engineering went south, despite the great girl friend (she would walk from her off campus apartment to the campus library to study with me at 6 am),-",

"-I didn‚t feel comfortable being in a relationship or asking someone out, when priority wise, my academic career was on the line. I want to have a life like my friend Sean and his wife. -",

"- Both of them have degrees, both of them are lawyers, both of them have each other‚back in all aspects-what a quality life you can build like that. They were best friends when we were all in college-What a privilege. -",

"-In my opinion, a career or academic career is essential 2a relationship, because when, in whatever regard, things get serious, u have a way of supporting each other or a potential way of supporting each other. When married or in a relationship, I want 2be an asset 2my partner, -",

"-I want 2make her day, and I want her to make mine. Even with the concept of flings, a career or academic career is essential. I mean regarding that, I feel Im from a different time. Amongst present college kids and that age group, things seem to be liberal and ok being liberal.-",

"-I mean, I went 2college in 2006 when Facebook 1st started- from a different time. When I‚d interact with kids as a Residential Consultant ( label for IT Support part time jobs for college dorms) while living in the dorms in 2007 and 2008, I noticed every year, students change-",

"- in personalities. I think 2006 freshman were the last of an era, at least at Binghamton. I went to schools in the 90s where they tell you to act responsibly and be mindful of the consequences of your actions in a relationship and elsewhere- different time.-",

"-When I transferred to the party school, maybe my peers of the time thought I‚m a freshman or that I‚m a teenager. But I was in my very early 20s. I grew up with a private education and transferred to a state school- a different sub culture. -",

"- I was in grade school when Britney Spears came out with ‚Oops I did it again,‚ the age of the Spice Girls, and the maca rana (the dance, if that‚how it‚spelled). If a fling goes south, with no career or academic career, how do you take care of things?...-",

"-I mean in most cases, not the kinda thing you‚d ideally want to go to your parents about. In the time I grew up, having a lot of girl friends or flings put women off. It ruins ur chances of meeting that dream girl for the future. -",

"-But nowadays, I think people think or are taught differently or are set one way by their friends. Honestly, I don‚t know what to make of things anymore -  not in a good way or a bad way. -",

"-I think women as a whole have changed. U always hear guys are after only 1 thing, but there was 1 girl I liked, who I wasn‚t sure liked me, there were some interactions like we became Facebook friends, then all of a sudden she deletes me without cause &goes a step further to -",

"-block me- a little extreme. You get curious and manage to see the profile pic of her under the covers with the lead guy in a band. To make someone jealous? Or wanting to fulfill a - I guess - a girls dream of being with a guy in a band?..-",

"-no offense to him, but I don‚t think on my worst day, I‚d lose a girl to him, but whatever. Even compared to her, or in general, I don‚t get how girls pick guys. -",

"-Point being women can be strange and have changed over time. On that note, I think it happened in April. In Binghamton, it was a time for spring dances at the school, and I couldn‚t help but think, amidst her friends, -",

"-this girl would wanted to take part in something like that or might feel left out. There was a time I‚d see her going up the stairs to the dorm as I‚d go down, and she was carrying a red suitcase with I think wheels and a handle. -",

"-Might remember it wrong. I thought maybe she has a strict family and they make her go home on the weekends in the beginning and she just wants to live her life to the fullest, like in what she may feel her friends are doing. -",

"-While I‚m a solo act since the first grade despite passing friends and the interest of others(due to the story that comes after this whole thought/section), she needs friends and clearly gets supportive friends..I mean I could be reading into the whole thing...-",

"-but that was my impression...when her mother (or I think it was cuz it‚different from the pictures online) came to pick her up at the end of the school year, I kind of waved goodbye to her, and as they were driving, they paused for a moment, and I couldn‚t help but wonder if-",

"-her mother wasn‚t asking her about the boy that waved at her. My school wasn‚t going well and I couldn‚t dance. I was hoping she would find someone, but letting go of an interest for responsibility is a sacrifice that requires effort.-",

"-I mean you wait for a combination of characteristics and the universe delivers at the most inconvenient time. When I‚d go to Church around that time, out of my interest and resulting thoughts for the girl, I‚d pray she‚d find someone good for her.-",

"-Kind of feel like doing stuff like that as part of the aforementioned effort a sentence or two ago. If there was anything to be angry about, it was the psychotic after effect. She gets the guy and randomness follows for me.-",

"-In order to be away from familial and cultural obligations on a level beyond college, I need a career, and for that I need a good degree, all so that I can live and experience life to the fullest. I couldn‚t help but feel there were those who‚d read into my actions. -",

"-All that said, pull something like that while dating me, I‚m Not so well wishing or understanding, or forgiving that is if it happened to a couple dating. -",

"-My whole life of going to catholic schools and all boys high school, I aimed for the dream of making the prettiest woman my best friend in college and marrying her.-",

"-Then this present day 11+ year ‚situation‚ happened, messing up my academics, limiting my career options, keeping women as a whole away from me...I mean, such was my dream, as mentioned, as a kid and in my teenage years and 20s. -",

"-Now I‚m in my very early 30s and my dream about a woman seems to carry no value or effect. The dream just seemed like a waste of time (although no dream, especially marrying a best friend should be) cuz life itself went out of its way to go upside down for me. -",

"-I mean in hindsight, you wonder, did you have high morals, think too much, or are you in fact right that the rest of the world didn‚t think enough or think things through. I mean, in all humility, 11+ years ago, I was a pretty decent looking guy...-",

"-.if nothing else, I had the thickest of hair and it was long...at that time, I had so many female prospects but stayed focused on my dream...-",

"-here I am 11+ years later, bald, losing muscle and gaining weight from inflicted lifestyles by the orchestrators, tired, and having the world on one team or one side while I‚m on another.-",

"-It makes you think about morals, right and wrong, and a bunch of things like that, as ur left alone and bored out of ur mind, feeling like in a pretty jail cell‚bed, for all these years. -",

"-I think right & wrong, boils down 2 whats right ‚for an individual,‚ at a particular point in their life. In life, there are rules, religion, traditions, cultures...but ur job as a person is 2 live in each second, making both smart & wise decisions, as appropriate 4 ur life, -",

"-without caring about what others think. Don‚t model your life on anyone, but your goals and dreams.Going back to the main point, Time and opportunities were stolen from me, and here I am today, in a different world, with the dream squashed.",

"Regarding something mentioned in the previous section/thought/set of tweets, here's a tale from the past:-",

"-You wanna know how long my dream of marrying my best friend dates back? Here‚a story. Although born and brought up here, when I was in pre-k, I didn‚t speak that much English, because I spent time with my paternal grandmother mostly. -",

"-She would speak to me in our Indian dialect, and with my parents being Indian immigrants, she was of the belief, ‚why does their son need to learn English?‚ In pre-K, there was an Indian girl that I  friended and spent all of my time with. -",

"-Our parents friended each other and carpooled and we went over each other‚houses and birthday parties. While she gathered together in a circle with her girl friends, I‚d hover around her.-",

"-In the same way, I expect potential girl friends and my wife to teach me how to dance, my kindergarten friend would teach me how to bike ride and roller blade. She was my courage. -",

"-When we were in kindergarten, if she was absent from school, I would run away from school. I managed, on one such occasion, to escape my kindergarten teacher‚notice, and ran for home, as the school was 5 min away from my old house near central ave in Yonkers.-",

"-My dad was walking home and caught sight of me, and I forget if he took me back to school or took me home with him. When I graduated from that school, the kindergarten teacher was sure to write about that in my year book. That was my relationship with this girl. -",

"-Then, as first grade approached, her father, a doctor, had a job transfer far away. She was going to leave me. It was something I had to accept about my first friend as first grade approached.-",

"-But at that time, I decided I would find a replacement to be my best friend, and marry her. That‚the origin of the dream the orchestrators squashed.",

"and now, normal tweets...-",

"Was listening 2\"All 10's\" playlist on Spotify the other day. Heard this girly song called Shower, by an artist w/a very girly name of \"BeckyG\"..Despite transitioning from Memories-Kid Cudi/David Guetta-I couldn't help but think ofMyself dancing w/a potential daughter 2that song.",

"Bad Blood music video from Taylor Swift...with all those Wonder Woman like women in the video, makes a guy wish he was taller to be with them...",

"I heard on the news that you should wash you hands with soap for 30 seconds after touching money, as cash and coins have been handled by who-knows-how-many-people-doing-whatever... I wonder if anyone else does it...kind of a pain, and more incentive to use the card...-",

"-especially if you get rewards for using it or get benefits...",

"How do eat your yogurt? When I eat my cup of Greek yogurt, with one lick off the spoon-without too much tongue exposure-I consume my yogurt. I mean, I eat it kind of like a chocolate soft cone from Carvel, not like cereal.",

"Yeah life is a journey...awaiting my destination, as I‚ve been traveling for 11+ years...",

"Why isn‚t there a Wegmans in Yonkers/Bronxville?! You can still shop there through InstaCart App...you get some exotic stuff like Japanese energizing cold green tea in a can...",

June 3rd tweets...wondering thoughts relationships past normal tweets...all right side up on tumblr blog link below:  https://t.co/absWu0Ti8Z

"June 4th tweets...onwards...",

"Can‚t emphasize this enough...I don‚t know the alleged group of kids, the girl, or any of the other orchestrators...that being said, if it‚not directly from me, probably not true. To state the obvious, how do you know as much as you do, about your best friend?-",

"-Through interacting with them directly. Who else would know things better than the two people involved? I think the stalkerish kids of the past or orchestrators figured out that I just wanted to study IN ‚college.‚ I mean there‚my stalked habits, my writings. -",

"-I think I‚m pretty clear. I think some wanted to pose a hindrance to studying. Don‚t quote me on this, but I think I was broadcasted as not liking noise. Why? To get the randomly hateful following to make noise. Always from afar, and never understood the reason for the spite.-",

"-Probably the reasoning behind getting me to hear sounds in the house. A group of kids empowered, perpetuated by established individuals of a school. Then the continual teaming up against me as a school, a city, a country...the massive game is a hate crime...",

"moving on...-",

"- for a while, you think all of this is one angry girl...but why? how is she mind controlling or getting people across places to do her bidding? I mean the no studying, tons of noise, wanting you to cry, all girls not talking to you, boy and girls making out in front of you...-",

"- this whole thing about friends...i mean if someone's my friend, cool, but if not, i'm not on any initiative to make the world my friend, as this program/\"situation\" puts out...because they attract attention, i gotta tell people things like the obvious amidst rumors...-",

"- and another thing...be it the girl, kids, the school, is it because i complained about you that you're having me write away my life for 11+ years? Satisfied? I mean all of this seems much. When the party school got involved, a man with the last name \"Berg\", said, so that I can-",

"- hear, \"oh we went the wrong direction. we were helping them?! but you can't talk to him about it cuz one of the school VP's forbade you from speaking to faculty at the school about your \"situation.\" This was a professor speaking. So was there a girl? Kids? Are the professors-",

"- going crazy and acting on your suspicions of kids? Was there a girl/kids? Are the professors actually talking to these kids, making the kid's situation worse, and realizing they have to legitimize their actions of inadvertently furthering the kids agenda of ruining me?-",

"- i mean WTF?! why are these people against me and screwing with the people of a person's world? I MEAN YOUR ENTIRE WORLD! Regarding the professors, I would sit in their faculty area and study. Never caused any problem. Why are they talking 2strange kids?! If the have the nerve-",

"- of saying so you can hear that they went the wrong direction, why can't they listen to your request of making things \"natural?\" or back to the way things were, before these kids?!",

"next thing...",

"-I wonder...would anyone be jealous or envious of my position in all this? If that‚the case, ur not being told the whole story. The orchestrators don‚t tell you what they do to me out of fearing the crowds. -",

"-I‚m pretty sure a filtered version of my writing-in favor of the orchestrators-is what‚being passed around. Back with my 2012 twitter and now, I never could understand why anyone would feel anything negative, as a reaction. Regarding money and opportunity in this, in 2012, -",

"-for the school and the upstate city of Albany teaming up on one side against me and then causing chaos on the day of final exams in 2012, I was going to sue them for my tuition money. -",

"-When being u, u think of the people in the apartment area or the surrounding city, u figure, despite instruction following, they don‚t know any better,and on some unknown premise, they think they‚re ‚helping‚ by never talking 2 u. So how can you be mad at an entire city then?-",

"-You then think, to confront this, you gotta hold the source accountable, for misleading all these links in the chain. Despite the world turning Upside down, my beef/squabble/whatever, is with the ones in charge for screwing me and putting this sin on everyone‚heads. -",

"-This too, I wrote in my hacked and possibly relayed police complaint. -",

"-I remember, coming back from the party school, I started submitting my tale through a series of character limited crime tips, kind of like my series of backward tweets. -",

"-As I‚d write in the crime tips in my old house, traffic on my street would increase with suspicious looking youth, as it coincided. Years later, I remember when I was at my allergist, I told a saint of an Irish woman of a nurse a tale about emails I sent a girl. -",

"-No offense to them,  but I think they were talking to someone over what I told her. Not even she could tell me what was actually happening. Good people do this too. It overloads the brain, and everything you figure. becomes fair game.-",

"-That‚just it, it‚a game. You think it‚fun. America is all about fun, not compassion. Life in general is not like, say India,especially now. Here life continues, people wear masks, get vaccinated. There life came to a pause and people die left and right.-",

"-You as a people take part in this nonsense, cuz in one or more regards, ur life is perfect, otherwise why not see the whole thing as bull sh*t?-",

"-For the second chance at a college with a new major, I told my parents Id take a loan, & they volunteered a private apartment and delivery of food, so that I could study in peace. 50 grand & making everything natural was my goal or what I sought from the, then, orchestrators,-",

"-to overcome my wasted school tuition loan. Admission into a solid business school was what I requested. It never amazes me, that despite me explicitly saying what I‚m after and experiencing, you continue this illegal activity. -",

"-After 11 years, perhaps the orchestrators realize 50 grand and restoration to natural, was pretty reasonable. Now it will be much more, for placing someone else‚interests over a student‚mental, physical, and academic well being.-",

"-The money and opportunity I‚m seeking? From lawsuits and easy to win. Opportunities? I‚ll start domestic and international businesses. -",

"-Wait till they tell you everything. I think the word for someone, who just does, whatever another says, in slang, is ‚tool.‚ Are you a ‚tool?‚ Leader or follower? How are you living/showing that? I think some of you enjoy the power over another individual.-",

"-Some of you like having me in the wrong. It could be due to whatever bias. But for your overall happiness and satisfaction and mine, you got something to say to me, be direct.-",

"-Doing something from afar or concealing ur true misplaced negativity, elevates me, because in comparison, you have no b*lls. You know how Ive been living for 11+ years? Assuming the worst. -",

"-I feel, in this case:‚Pessimism is the road to take, in order to obtain the fruits of optimism, in one‚reality.I assume, I‚m relayed in any/all shape or form all day/everyday, that everyone‚in the know about just about-",

"-everything. I say ‚just about,‚ because I don‚t think the orchestrators tell you about my run in with the police, or what they had done to me during my time away from work. Compliance? You practice it for 11+ years. But, be sure I‚m grinding the axe.-",

"-No surprises, no disappointments in the end, due to the aforementioned pessimistic route.. Just actions to take. You know what the sounds do when I write sh*t like this... they play a ‚oh really I can take it sound...‚ we‚ll see. -",

"-You screwing with me like this, regarding the people of the world, it indicates you intend to conceal the truth. Like I keep saying, in me understanding this, one of us between the orchestrators and me, is guaranteed to be ruined.-",

"-If you, the orchestrator or follower, feel any thing negative toward me, why would you want to elevate me, in any regard? Interactions with me should be direct. I‚m all ears, and otherwise ready, with 11+ years and mankind‚betrayal fueling me. -",

"-I may not be as strong as before, but I go into things, having lost it all, nothing to gain, and With 100% of me. ith what I believed to be the FBI leaving me to rot, the local police not helping, my school not helping, the school‚VP and Conflict Resolution not helping, -",

"-and me not being consulted about this cr*p about people acting oddly, I used to carry a baseball bat in my car, if any of these instruction following idiots took things too far. My father, in denying anything‚going on, hid it, years ago.-",

"-You come at me with cr*p, it will be reciprocated, win, lose, big, small, whatever...a shove, a kick, end of day, is a shove and a kick...so long as I get a scratch in, I can rest peacefully. -",

"-Now if that bothers any of you, does it even make sense for you to be bothered when ur taking the initiative to bother someone, who wants you to take no extra effort, and leave things natural and possibly even a little MYOB: mind ur own business?-",

"-In hindsight, seeing these idiot skinny little freshman at this party school, thinking they‚re doing something for you and you should worship them for it, when they‚re actually turning things upside down for the orchestrators: It compounds: they‚re kids, old people, -",

"-they‚re idiots, they‚re stupid, don‚t know any better, being manipulated...then they follow the random instructions, some even mocking you like they have power over you...you wait till they go that extra mile against you and beat the cr*p out of them.. -",

"-But it never came 2 that. I mean u can only push a person so far..u talk, write, 11 years, illegal things happen, the law doesn‚t protect u, u find ur on ur own, &thinking, grow a pair &come at me. In the end who‚fault will it be? Mine? 4 being abused &lied to for 11 years?-",

"-In every endeavor, from having to walk barefoot when the police came, to what was done to me while away from work, February to May...I was compliant throughout everything...in the end pointless. No mistakes on my part.-",

"Moving on from irritation,-",

"-This whole thing, 11+ years and all? For a while, I kept thinking, all of this is the girl network of a girl I ‚knew of.‚ -",

"-What Im calling the ‚girl network‚ is a network of women friends spreading &sharing things thru cell phones &texts &maybe even word of mouth, (If shes not involved in anyway, its not fair 2her, 2give her spotlight,when all of thisNonsense should not have been publicly relayed.)-",

"-Then this ‚1day magic‚ or results!- never really did make sense. But the interesting thing is, it would seem the orchestrators talk 2a group that has their own intentions &doesn‚t know me. I feel like everyone is acting like this girl, in her indirect means, from long ago.-",

"-Was ‚not being direct with me‚ broadcasted as the ‚way to go with me? It‚like everything from one time period just continued for all ages. One group, whoever they are, brings in their cr*p, to ‚legitimize what I did not want, by making everyone else do it.‚ -",

"-I‚m all about being direct, and natural. And then, there‚the school. Trying to legitimize what transpired at their school, with the instilling of instructions beyond the city of their school, and into my hometown of Yonkers. -",

"-They brought this nonsense to the country of my background in India. WRT Indian women, while women as a whole do not talk to me at this moment in time because the orchestrators tell them, (and while I‚m open to all women and men )for friendships and whatever , -",

"-some Indian women passing by,seemed angry when I was talking 2my friend, Nicole, or playing cards withHer. Thru this indirect anger, am I supposed 2understand this? Do any of u realize, this is all against myWill &what I know is thru my own brain processing &remembering things?-",

"-The orchestrators, this program, \"this situation\" perpetuates nonsense of the past, by having me talk about things over and over, through screwing with the natural setting of my environment, where people are susceptible to following the orchestrator's instructions...-",

"-If theyre broadcasting me as dropDeadGorgeous, I accept what Im today &what Im not. Stick with(w/) the present, what u learn from a direct interaction w/me, being direct w/me, -",

"-being natural w/me (coming 2 think or act based on what u experience upon seeing me, &/or from whats directly from me.)",

"On a separate note/section-food for thought: -",

"The orchestrators, or these kids, or possibly a girl from long ago-I dunno...I don‚t understand this hold you have over all these people. How do you get someone to do something because you want them to?-",

"-I may be in the mind cr*p, buts it‚the people of my world who do something because someone wants them to. When I give insight upon doing something that‚right for you, right for your life, without caring about what others-",

"-think, or about cultures and traditions, you won‚t adhere to it or take it seriously. You probably pass over it as ‚nice sounding.‚Someone says to make a face or something, you do it. I mean it‚like asking someone to bend over and you doing it. -",

"-Why? But clearly all of you, are you, and I‚m singled out as me.",

"and now, normal tweets: -",

"I feel law enforcement should place compassion over the their indulgence of authority over others...",

"Lamb gyros with tzatziki sauce from local Greek restaurant or a Greek rack of lamb...epic...",

"Sodastream is a great way to make your own soda. It‚healthy and tasty and sugar free. You just add these strawberry like ,blackberry like, watermelon like , pineapple like,  etc. flavors...a good water substitute...",

"i saw a girl propose to a guy on facebook...i cannot imagine a girl even asking a guy out, let alone, proposing...such is real life vs. the TEXT...",

"-Being an American should be a privileged label requiring compassion and the Golden Rule. You‚re not just anyone, you are an American. Rise to the occasion, rather than indulging and being plugged into the Matrix of your world. Expand ur mind, gain insight. -",

"-These people involved in this should be ashamed to call themselves Americans. Would you allow this on ur kid or loved on?",

"Wipex Fitness Equipment Wipes - easy way to wipe down sweat from exercise machines in your home, that you finished using...",

"Heard of calm app, headspace app? try yoga international dot com or art of living courses...",

"The party school hacking my police complaint & telling students involved &students theyre talking to,that theyre in the complaint, increases the random vendetta of these kids, & gives them an incentive to mess up &control ur world..serious mishandling bySchool acting asPolice...",

"- now the professors, kids, or whoever the orchestrators are, are trying to save their a*ses from the content of the complaints, by legitimizing their past actions, through having the world take part, and making things about making a point with hacking people, computers, etc.",

Link to all tumblr blog posts:  https://t.co/SC6YkTDyr5

Early morning tweets from June 4th before 6:30 AM - all right side up on tumblr blog link below:  https://t.co/6kDiXgqllQ

"so despite me saying to \"act natural\" hundreds of times over these 11+years and recently, people prefer to take the effort, and waste the energy, to do what the orchestrators say, and act in a manner that suits the \"project/program/situation.\"-",

"-acting natural requires nothing from U. Just be U; don't hide that this \"situation\" for 11+ years occurred; and go by what comes to mind when U see me, or by a direct conversation/interaction. Simple. You can stop wasting your time on this pointless endeavor to pervert my life.-",

"-if that's too hard, go F*k urself. 11+ years of saying it? - I think is enough.",

"moving on...normal tweets...-",

"Bronxville Pondfield Road has several stores on both sides of the street. From outside, nice looking buildings, and you suspect the insides are about quality stuff. But the parking situation is ridiculous. To shop and spend money, U have to spend money on parking at the meters-",

"- &theres only like 20 meter parking spaces 4all these stores. Shouldn't the landlords or whoever contemplate the business that these stores are losing from lack of parking? -",

"-U drive all the way there, find out no parking...what do U do? Drive in circles until some1 vacates their meter parking space? What a waste of time...someone should do something for such a busy area...",

Try drinks from Rebbl...they can be coffee substitutes...you can get them at ShopRite but Wegmans has more variety in that brand...They're pretty expensive but I hope if more people buy them or see their value eventually the price will go down...  https://t.co/p6P78klaiQ

"I miss the days when Starbucks had an online store. Could have fresh coffee beans delivered to your residence...now you gotta go all the way to the store...-wait...did i tweet that already? if so, sorry for the repeat...",

"If you have an Alexa device, search the ‚Echo Wall Clock‚ on Amazon. It sets itself, especially when daylight savings time.",

"Have a ‚Hey Google‚ device? Try the ‚Philips Hue‚ smart bulb and multicolor smart bulb. The multicolor one provides different colors to the room on a ‚Hey Google‚ command. Search Amazon...",

"Im not sure if the orchestrators areTrying 2get me 2buy stuff or not, buts its like, from boxers to undershirts to socks to fleeces to shirts-theyve all goneMissing. I mean I know I had a ton of theseThings, when they all randomlyDisappear from ur laundry, U justThink, now what?!",

"so heard about the Blum Center and gave advice on healthier living...while their products are expensive, you learn about the benefits of all sort of stuff, even simple things like chia seeds and fiber and how they can keep you full and aid with morning bathroom rituals...-",

- from talk in previous tweet this is the Blum Center's link:  https://t.co/rRGIdABUjo

John Douillard and his LifeSpa in Colorado (offering Skype meetings) can also aid with better lifestyles and healthier living. It's rooted in Ayurveda and Yoga and Meditation. Check out their site:  https://t.co/JcihC62Llk

"Nothing like 90s music on Spotify...with the exception of their 2010s playlist for hits, Spotify is an indicator to me that music has gone downhill...",

"There‚something very attractive to me about a bottle of coke vs. the can... it‚just...aesthetically pleasing and tasty...",

"so there's like 10-20 normal tweets below. twitter has the most recent tweet on top. scroll down for the starting tweet with today's date...My twitter handle is @RennyJi or you can not follow me on twitter and still read with the web link:twitter dot com slash rennyji",

"in addition to the morning normal tweets, a thought-",

"So from my old complaints to the police elaborating on the science of a situation, it turns out I left out something that became transparent to me recently: This concept of filters people see through or the figurative lenses on the glasses they wear. -",

"- but I remember things and something interesting was said on the news today. To start with the latter: \"If the grass was green before you went to bed, [and you found it covered in a white blanket of snow], one could surmise that it snowed while you were asleep.\"-",

"- that cause & effect relationship was what gave the insights 2 my situation ages ago. I gave a lot of detail. Despite all that I identified, b/c not 1 person showed me the content or told me who's doing it, I couldn't prove my situation and end a decade plus worth of an ordeal.-",

"- while I go 2 new places 4 a new beginning, or explore my talents on a social TEXT platform, there's someone or someones coming with their own agenda, distorting the natural end result and occurrences that result from my actions or the domino I pushed, for an intended pattern.-",

"- I remember when I first started twitter in 2011-2012, I didn't have much followers. Then one day someone tried to direct 20 fake followers my way. Probably incentive to get me to write. -",

"-when I went to the FBI in that timeframe, one of their agents asked me if I was crazy for the Internet crime that I presented to him. Before he came down, I could see his confusion in seeing me over something he knew about and I didn't.-",

"- they directed me to,what was at the time,an unlimited Internet complaint form: IC3 forms. Again seems like incentive 2 write. I go 2 work, trying 2 mix quantity w/quality, jumping from 1 completed thing 2 the next. They have me waste time explaining myself  w/words & writing.-",

"- I realize every facet of life in America wants to screw me into exposing my speech style, my writing style, for the purpose of understanding how I think. -",

"-Whereas David Hasslehoff (the Knight Rider) might have Adam Sandler fart on his face in the movie, \"Click,\" for, if nothing, money, that's not my style. -",

"-This phenomena has caused estranged relationships, a roadblock 2 living, a roadblock 2 prospering w/a career, earning what I should make...u have no idea how much hatred I have 4 this setting. But the mind controllers, sedate me & do their own form of sedation 2 make me docile.-",

"- what do the Americans mean by \"consciousness of guilt?\" Does it mean awareness of what they were doing? Does it mean awareness that you're doing something bad or of a crime nature? what about, then, the orchestrators of my situation? -",

"- Like others, I got out of school in my early to mid 20's to set forth on my life. To find someone to marry, to get a job, take care of my parents...-",

"-But instead, and I'm 35 now, I'm being just being used for cheap entertainment with everyone's help. You destroyed my life...where is the consciousness of guilt? To take out the years from your jail sentences, you prolong my situation, that too, with everyone's support.-",

"- you as a people think everything is your body. Indians and East Asians believe the soul transmigrates across bodies and lifetimes. You, Americans, think this all there is, and that the soul is the mind, and it stems from a developed mature mind. -",

"- the U come up w/ notions like \"consciousness of guilt.\" I'm not sure what to make of that. Are you saying that across a series of actions, you were aware what you were doing, or aware of what you're doing towards a particular goal? Aren't you always aware? Shouldn't you be?-",

"- my situation is in the process of being exploited to show one form of \"normal\" for every1 to accept to further large scale mind reading/mind control. -",

"-Ur led to believe by doctors & the orchestrators of this phenomena that letting urself go on \"autopilot\" is normal, whether it's driving or anything. Mindfulness is not a luxury, but a skill to employ on all occasions.-",

"- animals like dogs go on autopilot or w/their instincts. A dog is hungry, it eats. A human being, thru things like religion, learn 2 abstain, to refrain, to practice restraint. Of all the people in the world, Im condemned for not acting on random garbage thinking or impulse. -",

"- 'Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. ' Matthew 26:41Temptations are the various hungers of our body, like trying to get me to lash out on twitter.",

"- \"For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.\"Galations 5:17-",

"- this division creates a conscious state of mind. The happiness oriented Americans, forsaking culture and religion, for psychiatry, create and propel an animal like human.",

"-Years ago, I think there was something about me being a sweetheart and in need of friends( by a girl and her friends, a school, who cares, at this point)...ok...ummm..reality being, i see the concept of friends and relationships just like the next person: through fate, destiny,-",

"-or something as simple as bumping into someone repeatedly at a coffeeshop, you meet people.(Not by ‚the situation‚ discussing your whereabouts and timing.) To see me, through the lens that I‚m on some kind of endeavor to be an American icon, make everyone my -",

"-friend- well, that doesn‚t match my goals, interests or personalities. In all that I do being relayed (probably, I dunno), maybe from my Twitter, you heard from me about how I kept a girl in my prayers; -",

"-maybe you heard since my childhood best friend/girl friend moved away, I‚ve been on a lifelong quest for a replacement; maybe from the orchestrators you heard I can be loving to my sibling...-",

"-from the orchestrators, you see me as a, I guess, f* me, a sensitive caring male. From my stories, maybe you know my values. -",

"-But bear in mind, these are aspects or sides to a multifaceted personality, just like everyone else. Who I share the above sides or personas with, are my loved ones (family/friends). -",

"-So this raises the problem of who is my audience, when I or someone on my behalf, says things. I keep saying talk to me directly, because how I may be with you individually, may be different from a painting of my identity, for better or worse.-",

"-So two things thus far...what lens/ filter are you seeing me through? Next question, are you the intended audience?And all of this boils down to reputation. The concept of a person‚status in society, their reputation globally is something people work very hard for. -",

"-It is my intention to sue the orchestrators for soiling my reputation. Understanding this, they are of the belief, by relaying my life, a reputation will follow. But then the concept of audiences, filters, all rise again. -",

"-You*re making my reputation as America‚son/friend. Not interested, beyond the Golden Rule. 11 years of my life...hmmm...yeah I feel like the orchestrators are prostituting my life. -",

"-Im in a crazy situation. A 90 year old b*tch & her possibly lesbian passenger give me the OK to take a parking space. I go out to take it. She then stops me w/her car randomly, while the tool of a couple behind me shake their hands 4 me, to ignore the parking, and drive ahead.-",

"-I had my signal on, I was moving toward the space before all this happened ...you know, be it because of a ‚situation‚ or the filter this white woman sees ‚herself ‚through, she is not my boss, and her attitude on the road would only succumb to my attitude. -",

"-What does she think of herself? That disgusting nasty face she made. Does she see herself as superior? The nerve. All after she tells me to take the space, and then decides to take it herself. -",

"-The orchestrators tell family, friends, strangers to give me something to read into...it‚mind exploding because you expect me to take the bait and keep writing...I‚ve praised women in my speech and in my writing, over their beauty and value in a mans life. -",

"-Like today, at a stop sign, driving home or taking a short cut elsewhere, saw a gorgeous tan blonde smiling. Seeing someone like her, for herself, can brighten any mans day, like a day of sunlight. But it should naturally happen. -",

"-But that said, I‚ve shown a value, a side. For some, it‚an opportunity to overestimate ur self worth. I am not desperate, despite throwing myself across the table. -",

"-In this world, without sacrificing my dignity, from one extreme to another, I can arrange a marriage, or if it was about getting laid, pay someone. I aim to do things the right way. But then I see the 90 year old and idiot middle aged American women on the side of them -",

"-road involving themselves in this aforementioned parking attempt. Your rosy lives are ur rosy lives. I live in reality unlike whatever cloud You live on, while being a victim of abuse by the American orchestrators. So, Keep a check on ur attitudes in response in reading this.-",

"-Years ago, and now, I‚ll say it again to my surroundings, I am a practitioner of the Golden Rule. I respect those who respect me. Some of you, in your world of games, please go waste someone else‚time. An American icon? A paragraph ago, -",

"- I explained how I see friends, because of randomness being flung on me like sh*t out of a toilet, for the purpose of constantly explaining things. -",

"-I make myself available, when and where, to anyone who‚anyone. The orchestrators want to dictate who can glance at me or make me approachable. Childish nonsense. Not out to make myself any more approachable than I am.",

"- Now I need some kind hearted person to talk to me and tell me what's going on. That Im not out of my mind. If ur waiting for this cr*p to be over, none of you will ever see me. I mean, I'm after peace of mind, and when I needed you, in the way that I did, you were never there.-",

"-The orchestrators may tell you to so called \"support me\" by doing this/that...but that is not from me, may not even match the plan of the day. I honestly cannot make out what they're saying. -",

"- If I'm right about stuff, its through coincidence or me figuring things out on my own. From any of you, the community, All I'm asking is for you to be a true American at heart and do the hard thing of telling me what's going on. -",

"-Thats the only thing I ever needed. Ud be a lifelong friend&hero. After this, w/my lawsuitMoney, Ill be on some privateEstate, far away, from these past ridiculous places of America. All I wanted 4 all these yrs  is peace of mind & the mutualRespect that the orchestrators took.-",

"-But going back to what I was saying, at the end of the day, beyond family and loved ones, I am not your friend or your enemy, or even paying attention to the cr*p left for me to read into. That stuff is between you and the orchestrators you blindly and ridiculously follow.-",

"-f you are not talking to me directly, then you are not helping me. Playing with your phone won‚t make you a saint-for the orchestrators, in the past, I called this the American idol mentality. You think by voting for someone to win, you‚re altruistic.-",

"-Save your energy, direct it towards someone who will appreciate it, or do something constructive. I‚ve given my spheel about ‚being natural without hiding anything.‚ That‚the only help I seek. End of the day, you be you, I‚ll be me. -",

"-At the beginning of this &now, Ive made it clear, not out of anger, spite, or because Im fresh out of some troubling incident: mind your own business. I don‚t want you in my life, and to be honest, I don‚t want to be in your heads either beyond the practice of the Golden Rule.-",

"-Get at me (Slang), or kindly get lost (Literal).-",

"-These sounds tell me they‚re going to ‚do away‚ with me. The extent, depth, seriousness of that I dunno. (But if I‚m to meet my end, I want the Americans to know this much from me, amidst the clouds you live on. -",

"-At the end of this, you all and the kid sounding faction of the orchestrators are in for a surprise. Really walked into it, as  you'll figure out, soon enough.)-",

"-Ur faces or reactions or gestures do not match up to my writings, what I‚m being told, etc.(this part goes to everyone, but especially my parents- I feel these people (orchestrators) are lying to you regarding their intentions and what they direct at me.)",

"-From past complaints being relevant in the present day or not, not gonna elaborate on past things after this. Way too much time for something I‚m not willingly taking part in or interested in. Take care.",

"ending it for today with a few normal tweets -",

"Coffee machines with adjustable strength settings...expensive, but worth it!",

"getting a starbucks card, or memberships with doordash or massage places can be rewarding...",

"a person can say/do 10,000 good things, and being human, do 1 bad thing...but through human nature, other people will only remember/consider the bad thing without thinking things through...",

June 5th tweets...summary of normal tweets from early morning and the \other stuff tweets\ from early evening...all right side up on tumblr blog link below...as of tomorrow just gonna spread tweets throughout the day-if any...  https://t.co/2yg58nFl2X

"June 6 tweets -",

"so wake up, walk to the main floor of the house, and see through the window that the sun is getting ready to shine, with birds chirping in the background...sounds like something from a book, i know...but it invites pleasantness amidst all the nonsense in one's life...",

"so theOrchestrators...what they now do, seeing I have a writing platform, is \"project\" ideas/notions my way, 1 way or the other, try 2 get me 2 mention it, or even address/explain it. In my writing about, say, 1 of the rumors they created, Id be helping 2 perpetuate false ideas.-",

"-i mean w/something as corny &simple as the sun about 2shine, who wants 2waste time on the bullsh*t of others? Who pays attention to idiots? I mean, whatever orchestrators put out, I know who I am, what I get & don't get, & we don't share the same goals or same kind of people.-",

"-Today, I have 2 degrees& aJob 2 focus on, and be grateful 4. Yrs ago, I had my own apartment&delivery of restaurant food 2 be happy about while I tried to study amidst nonsense. Yrs ago, I had 4 years of body building to be grateful for,&the local YMCA where Id swim vigorously.-",

"- amidst The Blessings of the Good Lord, there's this nonsense from Americans living in a cloud and wanting to eavesdrop into the life of an Indian. but moving on...this kind of stuff is a risk to the tranquility from the simplicity of the sun shining...",

"so i mentioned \"my own apartment\" a couple or a few tweets ago...upstate vs. downstate -the apartments are madCheap...Ive been searching for apartments locally, downstate, & places like, The Print House? $2000 rent. Every other place? $1600 &up. My upstate studio apartment?$750.-",

"- I mean taxes take like 50% of your yearly salary. Then downstate rent...That's another huge chunk...",

"Regarding taxes, if you go to Catholic or private schools, and taxes pay for public schools and other such facilities that you don't use, why does everyone have to pay the same percentage of taxes? -",

"-You live in America for the freedom and community. But seeing as I, personally don't get that, there's gotta be other places, globally, that have that...",

"So, was eating breakfast and got food stuck between my teeth...reminded me of braces and the retainers you gotta wear after to maintain the progress of the braces...in hindsight, with today's discipline, i wouldn't have been as lazy with the retainers, as back then...",

"So, on the HBO Max app on Fire TV or Chromecast, you can find the second version of the \"Justice League\" movie. Yeah, there are two!I mean the trouble for making two versions of the same movie...why?!Well, at least Gal Gadot is in it...truly a Wonder Woman...",

"So just followed Gal Gadot, and twitter suggested I follow Margot Robbie...people from Israel, Australia...they are incentive for global connections...",

"anyone else grow up with 90s Nickelodeon with Stick Stickley with Nick in the Afternoon, Doug, Rugrats, Rockos Modern Life, etc...?!",

"huge Dragon Ball Z fan. Got me into the Dragon Ball series, which I personally feel a warm attachment to then the Z Series...they're coming out with a new movie next year...even collect the figures...like a few yrs ago, really got into anime. CrunchyRoll is a good site for it...",

"RT @StarbucksCare: @RennyJi Hi Renny, while we no longer have an online store, we do have a storefront on Amazon that you can use to try an

"So where do our ideas and thoughts come from? Ever wonder?",

"For so long I thought of all this having to do with a girl and possibly player psychotic friends...I mean the whole thing is like the stereotype of an angry girl-in what I‚ve shared and not... l mean keeping you perpetually writing and making everyone not talking to you?-",

"- when we were at the same school, because of the visible no cause anger towards someone you don‚t know, I even gave her a letter apologizing if I wronged her in anyway and saying I‚ll keep out of her way. When things escalated at the party school, if it had to do with her, with-",

"- whatever filter in her mind towards me, I even sent her a brand new copy of the dvd, ‚he‚just not that into you‚ with no return address. If ur right about all this being her, you think that‚ll be hint, she‚ll know what it means, and stop whatever.-",

"- If not she got a brand new DVD for free. I mean that‚my style: I don‚t uproot the world. Then as time goes on, I figure it has to be the school, manipulating the story of the girl for their project. I mean what does a Columbia grad like her want with me anyway?!-",

"- and regarding the school, I reported everything that was happening, like a responsible person. Once again, my style. They uproot the world, lie to me, and them and their government contacts stop the world from talking to me...",

"So I talk about blondes or talkED about blondes recently. Not the only kind of women I‚m into. But moving on, did you guys know there are types of blondes?...like the ‚Nordic Blonde?!‚- I‚ve seen some with a fan and they look incredible...-",

"Me, I have wavy hair...or HAD wavy hair...saw someone with nice pin straight hair-probably doesn‚t take hair gel or leave in conditioner to style...wouldn‚t it be cool if you could change ur hair type from straight to wavy to curly by as simply as running a comb through ur hair?!",

"This one place that I go daily...it‚ridiculous how everyone there is jacked or ripped...I mean like 90%...It‚an odd-what do you call such an occurrence-coincidence?! Me personally, focusing on getting skinny first...",

"Has anyone tried aromatherapy?! Does it work?",

RT @shakirastuff_: Shakira is coming. You all ready?   https://t.co/pvq5lurJrl

"Just saw commercials for upcoming Marvel series, ‚Loki‚. It‚going to be on Disney+. I‚m not sure if the following is a movie or series, but ‚Black Widow‚ with Scarlett Johansson is also coming out...",

RT @missmorenab: Flashback to that time I wore all purple.   https://t.co/pq4nrakjpw

"In the movie, ‚Deadpool,‚ Ryan Reynold‚character is so right about his feelings toward @missmorenab (Morena Baccarin). Every time you see her, it‚like the first time. There isn‚t a second she isn‚t beautiful...",

June 6th early morning and morning tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below:  https://t.co/5fZPSYyvq2

"11 years of all this relaying and stalking. People ignore my directive, of talking to me directly, to get to know me, despite me saying how I am with people is on an individual basis.-",

"-Depending on how I, as a multifaceted personality, choose to share, Person A might recognize me as a completely different individual than Person B. So yesterday, we talked about filters, or the lenses that u see an individual through, is based on the stuff you have in ur head.-",

"- so lets introduce something I else I mentioned in the past. The concept of ‚know of‚ vs. ‚actually know.‚ All of u may have heard relayed things about a particular Renny. You think ur part of a fun game with this Renny. (Not a fan of games and view this entire thing as abuse.)-",

"-But in the things you are aware of, do you understand my goals or intentions? You think you know how I‚ll be with you and when you ignore my advice. You do not know me and simply ‚know of me.‚-",

"In the past, I was grateful for a 2nd chance at a new major at a new school with a fresh start. I wanted no distractions. As I didn‚t want the mind lingering on anything from the past, I wanted 2 remove any chance I had with a particular girl.-",

"-I wanted 2 close that door by writing something off putting so that the mind would abandon theOption. OtherGoal was 2 test the surroundings 4 a reaction 2 see if Im right about theSource of the randomness. In trying to cut off an attachment, Im left w/the idea of it for years.-",

"- intention with my battle with the party school? Get a free ride there, get life back to the way it was-in all opportunities (social l, fiscal, etc.) , in all normalcy- before things with the girl, her friends, the school, and this present day hill sh*t. -",

"- I live according to that, but the orchestrators are trying to make me an Indian, an American instead, by ignoring my people/culture/goals, and use me for their goals, while making me seem crazy for trying to get things back to the way they were, 11+ years ago.-",

"- sometimes I wonder‚ you idiots out there reading into my actions‚what do you know of the kind of life I want to live or the kinds of people I want to associate with. I buy something like a coffee machine, I think you put me out as buying something expensive. Slander.-",

"- I spice up my morning in the ways that I do, likeMachines w/adjustable strength, valueQuality‚unlike the orchestrators &the rest of their people, I don‚t live on an ‚airy cloud.‚ I actually think through things &have plans for aFuture that don‚t match this retarded situation.-",

"-11 years of eavesdropping, what do the orchestrators know of a life of meaning &value. U see me thru the filter of ur culture,ur boy friends,ur men,ur students,&what not. To the orchestrators, experiment on ur kind, rather than leaving the worst for other parts of the world.-",

"- you may see everything, may even know every thought, but you don‚t know where I stand or my intent with things.",

"Just found out season 3 of the HBO Max series, ‚Titans,‚ is set to be released in August of 2021‚finally‚and that too in the summer‚it‚sad there aren‚t a lot of new episodes to series outside of fall/winter/spring months‚Titans has Nightwing, Raven, and the rest

"Other shows like ‚Doom Patrol‚ or the anime: ‚Seven Deadly Sins‚‚no idea for a release date like the previous tweet

"‚His Dark Materials‚ was a great series on HBO Max, as well

"It can be problematic when ‚direct interactions‚ face conflict with things relayed‚I mean, What was the purpose, and a number of tweets back, recall what I said about the different recognitions by Person A Vs. Person B.",

June 6th Afternoon Tweets rightSideUp in tumblrBlogLink below. NothingMoreToday. There were tweets in early morning &morning - posted in the tumblr blog link several tweets down this page (that link is also at the bottom of the afternoon link below)  https://t.co/PMVxdtYiep

"June 7th tweets -",

"so a thought...-",

"I saw a clip of a physicist talking about something, and he mentioned other scientists of the past who came up with theories. Someone like Isaac Newton didn't have the distractions of our world. He had a lot of time to think and theorize about his observations.-",

"- When I look back at these 11+ years, its enraging. What a massive waste of time. I could be using my thought process, my observative capacity, for constructive things, rather than talking to/about this \"situation.\" -",

"-For the orchestrators, life is living on a cloud, doing whatever impulse commands you, getting drunk and laid all day. I mean if getting laid is your life's greatest goal, there are bigger and better things. -",

"-Getting laid is exhilaration, pleasure, a series of postures, for a set amount of time. But an accomplishment, a life achievement, a true goal, encompasses your entire day and rewards you lifelong, unlike the 60-90 minutes or so of getting laid...-",

"-Set your sights on bigger things, on something that can define you and fulfill you. That's true pleasure.-",

"- You know in these 11+ years, I wish I could have used my brain to think about real things, philosophize, build something -",

"- but instead the orchestrators, in my very early 30s, have me dealing with the matters of children...-",

"- The serious project that may or may not be public, that is hiding behind the nonsense of whatever is projecting the teenage-like voices...is also wasting my time with their goals, over mine...-",

"-Life is a gift. From crawling out of bed, to possibly stretching, to walking down the stairs to your kitchen, it truly is an underestimated gift. I mean you have arms and legs. You can move them. It provides a sensation. -",

"-Being forced to look over all that and be reminded of the failings of a country, in practice in your life, is ridiculous.-",

"- This \"situation\", with what it does to me daily and my environment, for me, is a waste of time, and a distraction from my plans/goals. Biblically, it is said, if ur eye causes you to sin, then cut it off. It is better for you to go to heaven maimed, then all of going to h*ll.-",

"- so lets extrapolate. I think people of today are put off by religion b/c they \" 'think' its about telling u what 2 do.\" But I believe it's telling u \"what u can be\" -",

"-& the lifestyle that needs 2 be maintained. When I say lifestyle, I don't mean living like a nun, like literal interpretations imply. Again, you need to think about what comes your way. Literally, the aforementioned saying also has a meaning. That being, -",

"- your eye causing you to sin and the rest of the saying? Be pure in thought, follow your heart, do what's right as appropriate for your life. This results in peace of mind and eligibility for heaven. But I was talking about goals, that saying can be applied to goals.-",

"-ur eye causes you to sin, cut it off? Yeah no 1 expects the human race 2 cut off their eyes. So when it comes 2 goals, if there is a distraction in your life, u need 2 cut off that attachment. That part about \"better part of u go 2 heaven, then all of u going to h*ll\"?! -",

"- If you cut off the attachment/the distraction, your eye is figuratively cut off. What remains will inherit heaven. -",

"-Heaven can be interpreted as a state of mind. When you feel good, you feel like you're in heaven. When you do something bad, your mind is like in h*ll b/c of the resulting negative feelings.-",

"- So point being, if you cut off your attachment/distraction, what remains, inherits heaven i.e. or you'll have the state of mind (of being focused, and whatever else), to achieve your goal. -",

"- When you practice such discipline, it's rewarding throughout and \"post-process-of-achieving-your-goal\" - because you will, without a doubt, achieve your goal. Hence, if your eye causes you to sin, cut it off...",

"- See, the aforementioned is my mind. Not like the orchestrator's and the cr*p they put out. Not like the people they involve me with. Not like the Americans, who, everyday, let me down, by not telling me what's going on.-",

"-In my religion, Christ says, \"my mother, brother, sister, friend, family, are those who share in my convictions\" - to paraphrase...Amidst \"this situation,\" in whatever way I possibly can, I try to say what I'm about, what I want, what my beliefs are. -",

"-But no 1 in my surroundings shares in my convictions. After 11+ years, the label of American I wore proudly, is now a source of humiliation. Citizenship/rights-none of it respected. No lawEnforcement. In Christ's words, U are not my family, nor my people. U be U, I'll be me...",

June 7th early morning tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below - philosophy...  https://t.co/nyEjkFGjmy

"You know, growing up, I learned from experience & family, avoid jobs that depend on people. Too many variables. If ur an engineer or programmer, while you may work with a team, your part of the work is all U, giving you the freedom and using solely ur talents, knowledge, ability-",

"- but thats inTermsOfWork..4 a socialLife, yeah friends are wonderful but Im involved in ‚theSituation‚ involvingPeople. My wholeLife is relayed. IveSaid I can do 10,000 goodThings,& people, being humanNature, only rememberTheBad. ‚The situation‚ is a ‚forced on myShoulder job‚.-",

"-when my so called all day everyday job involves people, not the best thing, because of how my environment can be affected. How do you be mindful of all ur actions all day everyday‚-",

"-I mean you want people, in what ur stuck with, to be direct with you, to know you for you, not based on something put out indirectly about you

"In this situation, people think theyre supporting u, with u, even helping u‚but I keep saying what help to me is‚it‚being natural without hiding this- I think we‚re getting there, but what if some1 were to tell me whats going on & help me end this‚ud be a role model, a hero!",

"I was out today and someone was nice enough to help me speed up that part of my day‚ I keep saying talk to me and stuff, and d*mit I forgot to get this person‚name‚but I guess that‚on me

"So I‚ve grown up watching my dad use alcohol based aftershaves that are liquidy like Old Spice. But growing up, I e heard slit said that alcohol is bad for the skin. So I got the Brickell aftershave from Amazon.-",

"-Smear a bunch of it on, expect it to work, and then realize, not the best idea in sunny June weather. You‚ll just sweat it off. Maybe liquid quick drying aftershaves are what‚needed. Lotions just melt

"When someone does something nice, how do you react‚especially in this situation where people seemed to be misled or misguided in ur name, you figure it‚easier walking in a hostile environment‚but selfless kindness changes the world

"Want to hang upside down for yoga or ‚just because‚?! Get the ‚FeetUp Trainer‚ from Amazon

"Girls are lucky. They can wear shorts & look good in shorts. To look in style, a guy who wears shorts has 2 have em a little bit below his knees‚I think like in the 50s, 60s, 70s, guys used to wear the shorts women wear today-yeah umm no 1 wants to see that..a reverse of style..",

"Huge Michael Jackson fan- it‚sad someone like him had the things that happened to him, happen

"Yeah I listen to anything that sounds good on Spotify-from ‚sucker‚ by the Jonas Brothers to ‚drag me down‚ by One Direction to ‚bad blood‚ by Taylor swift to ‚wherever whenever‚ by shakira to ‚ if you had my love‚ by JLo to ‚Memories‚ by David Guetta to ‚lose yourself‚ by Eminem",

"This heat‚in Yonkers(Y-Oooo!) /Bronxville‚simply sitting while working makes you sweat‚but at least where I reside (on the border of both cities), it just got cloudy‚hopefully things will cool down

"In the heat a while back, I remember buying these Nike‚- running shoes- they are ventilated at the top‚shoes like that probably helps, if you gotta be outside

"Post lunch, my soda stream (raspberry flavor) really cooled me down

Afternoon tweets for June 7th right side up in tumblr blog link below (early morning tweets below afternoon tweets or in link that is several tweets below)  https://t.co/gIudOYfuCd

"June 8th tweets...-",

"so this thing with external parties who don't know a person, putting things in people's heads, goes way back...it leads to improper awareness, or a false filter/glasses that people see through...-",

"So here's five verses that I believe the three Abrahamic religions share. Genesis 3 goes: -",

"- 1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, ‚Did God really say, ‚ÄòYou must not eat from any tree in the garden‚?‚ -",

"-2 The woman said to the serpent, ‚We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‚ÄòYou must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.‚‚-",

"-4 ‚You will not certainly die,‚ the serpent said to the woman. 5 ‚For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.‚-",

"-6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.-",

"- so...those were the first 6 verses actually. The devil \"puts something in Eve's head.\" Sound familiar? She gains a filter that she sees through, but she doesn't realize, she's been blinded from the truth...-",

"-Eve believes if she eats the fruit that God forbade her from eating, she will be a god or at least have god like wisdom...-",

"-God told her not to eat the fruit: that part is like what our hearts tell us to do, while we listen with our tempted minds for tantalizing/nice sounding false things to be placed in our head...to live life with your heart requires taking a deep breath and gaining perspective-",

"- it speaks to us in differentSituations. when orchestrators or the devil come along&place things in our head, giving us false filters 2 see thru, resulting in the actions of accordance, we need 2 quiet down, listen 2 what our heart-which fights the impulse of human nature-says.-",

"- the orchestrators give you instructions to follow behind a single person. Like the juicy fruit of the forbidden tree, you see the orchestrators words and directives as a fun game. -",

"-But if you, humankind, were to listen to your hearts...how can you bear to have a fellow American suffer alone for 11+years?-",

"- would ur hearts allow humankind 2 be on 1 team vs. a single human being for 11+ years? U wanted 2 play the orchestrator's game like Eve wanting the juicy fruit. God didn't approve in that case, & ur hearts & true conscience doesn't approve in our case..Americans need insight...",

"Moving past philosophy, -",

"Driving with the AC on creates mist on the wind shield, towards the bottom‚needed wipers to clear it‚anyone else face that problem?",

"It‚great when your 10 min away from stores like Macys, ur coffee shop, UPS, or anything else‚I mean‚feel sleepy while working? All ways to get fresh air

"The parking spaces in Bronxville‚Pondfield Road are diagonally lined‚real pain when going from the right side of the road to the parking space on the left

"So 10:20 AM, I left my house 2go 2 UPS 2 drop something off on Central in Yonkers (Y-Oooo). Made the trip &got back in my driveway @ 10:27. Got inside &out of myShoes at 10:28. Got out of outdoor clothes &back @ my desk by 10:30..like going 2the bathroom when U live near central.",

"The concept of time has always amazed me. So much can happen through the course of 30 min‚like this morning, at the start of 30 min, was getting out of the shower. At the end of 30 min, finished getting my coffee at a coffee shop and back home

"So @theragun or @therabody -whichever is the official Twitter account for Therabody / Theragun - came out with a pneumatic compression device. Only comes in small, medium, large‚if ur chubby, ull think large, but it‚too long. Then you think medium, but it‚tight. -",

"- To @theragun or @therabody (Therabody / Theragun), you need a pneumatic compression device that‚of varying lengths for different heights, and adjustable straps for varying leg widths- to adjust how they fit ‚around the legs‚

"RT @dunkindonuts: That absolutely ‚ú®thrilling‚ú® half-second you think about ordering something different, then don‚t.",

June 8th tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below:  https://t.co/FaCfjnfbYI

"June 9th tweets...",

"Matthew 13: 13-15 - For this people's heart has grown callous; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts... -",

"-No matter how many times I implore of you to tell me the truth about the situation, you listen to the orchestrator's instruction of not telling me...or their instructions, period...",

"John 18(21-23) - Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said.‚ ...If I said something wrong,‚ Jesus replied, ‚testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?‚... -",

"- in my situation, im telling people over &over, for 11+ years, don't read in2 my actions, stop making things about U or taking things personally, actNatural without hiding things, don't listen to the instructions of the orchestrators..i think the orchestrators filter what I say.",

"Matthew 27:4 \"I have sinned by betraying innocent blood,\" he said... - in my situation, the world is on one team, and I'm on another. do you have any idea what the orchestrators did to me while I was away from work recently?!",

"Matthew 27:18 \"For he knew it was out of self-interest that they had handed Jesus over to him.\"The orchestrators &the projected children like sounds are not doing this for 11+years! to build me or make my life better. That is just the front of a massive project, for their ends.",

"Psalm 3...A priest I knew introduced some of the verses of this psalm to me, under a different context. But I believe the whole thing applies to my \"situation.\"...",

"Luke 23:13‚Äì19...I have examined him in your presence and have found no basis for your charges against him...But the whole crowd shouted, ‚Away with this man!..In my situation, u, the American people, have aided the orchestrators, in robbing me of opportunities, &be their victim.",

"so some philosophy...-",

"-Ive said before, peace of mind is priceless...but in this massive 11+year secret against one human being as part of the screwing with his mind, America has stolen peace and the opportunities of 11+ years for me. I see America in all its glory, in its superficial altruism.-",

"-There is this Biblical saying ‚And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.(Mark 9:42)-",

"- Peace of mind, or the state of mind, is that precious. Get punched in the arm, it bleeds, it gets visibly bruised, it eventually heals. But the mind...can you see its wounds from years of familial and societal betrayal? -",

"-The mind is the steering wheel/the command center controlling the whole operation of the body...on what justifiable basis do u, the orchestrators, and mankind screw with a young man's mind for 11+years? Not even Hitler did this to the Jews...he horrifically baked them in ovens-",

"- while the Americans drag out their torture as part of a massive game...But back to the Biblical saying about ‚And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin...\"-",

"- The little ones represent the innocence within the human condition. That innocence is peace and peace is God. -",

"-Heaven for all we know could be this state of mind, as Adam and Eve were like children who believed like a child, that their parents, in this case, God, would take care of everything. However, these derivations aside, the little ones in that quote represent -",

"- innocence within the human condition. To tamper with that state of mind, be it a school or a perverted few, the action is indicated as so evil, so wrong, it would be better 4 that entity to not have existed at all, as indicated by the morbid latter portion of the quote, where-",

"- the individual responsible is told to tie a rock around his neck & jump in2 the water. You don't screw with innocence, in whatever way it is expressed. It could be a regular guy, amidst 11+year hype, being relayed in anything/everything..why tamper with sanctity/peace of mind?!",

"- so that's from my philosophical side...",

"so a couple of regular tweets...-",

"If you have whole chia seeds and not the grounded up version, has anyone thought of using their coffee grinder to grind the chia seeds? Or do you need a special grinder that specifically says it can be used for other things?!",

"Try \"Kombucha\" as another water substitute. Can taste like soda and its sugar free and good for digestion...",

"Just followed @zoesaldana along with @shakira ... columbians are mad beautiful ...",

June 9th early morning tweets (before 6:32 AM) right side up in tumblr blog link below:  https://t.co/8poUrB3WEr

"U know looking back, at the state party school that I transferred to, in 2010, what they taught was done poorly & the subjects were out of date. I‚m sure they‚ll beg to differ. While they and their involvement of a ‚situation‚ strives to keep me writing in the midst of studying-",

"- other schools were teaching agile software practices, cloud computing, data warehousing, or even with a simple Java programming class: how to run JUnit test cases.-",

"- for months I tried contacting a professor for an old assignment and notes related to handling Java programming with sql database coding, never gives me what I want. Basically always says he‚too busy-",

"- in the party school, while their sister state university of Binghamton was teaching Java with Eclipse, enterprise style repositories and JUnit test cases, party school was using a baby program called Dr. Java.-",

"- my transcript is proof of the courses you teach. The duration of the situation and the kids is proof of a distraction in my priorities. My 4.0 high school GPA is testament to my academic caliber. Me, I like using the luxury of time to learn a course until it‚mastered.-",

"- students would say professor ravis course was 1 of the important courses. Didn‚t do so well the 1st time amidst obstacles. Wanted 2 take theCourseAgain.  Ur partySchool‚conflictResolution VP insisted I take remaining courses @ a communityCollege so that Im out of their hair.-",

"-can you imagine this dip sh*ts advice? From a 4.0 gpa at Iona with scholarships and free laptops to a community college. The b*stars went out of his way to convince my parents I‚m crazy after he had the faculty monitor me on the harassment on the day of my life 2012 finals.-",

"The amountOfDamage that partySchool, those spitefulKids did, along w/the rest ofThe ‚situation.‚U should see some of theseFacesIm thinking why the f*k are U in myLife, while these randomly angry agenda fueled gamePlayers areIrritated theyre not wanted playing god w/some1‚life.-",

"- to some of the randomly angry agenda fueled game players, you wanna say have some dignity and move on.",

"The orchestrators are trying to figure me out. Put corny high school paths of doing what you love my way and things will follow. How old am I? How do you explain ur perverted presence in my life? Something can be learned from the Indian concept of arranged marriages-",

"- back in India, families strive to get their kids to perfection. Find a family, a women, that‚exceptional and meets standards. We wish a similar exceptionalism for careers, futures, education, etc. I come from this culture. In my family, father sought out opportunities in the-",

"- alien country of America and took care of his family and his extended family back home. Uncle went off to a different part of India and worked as the closest contact to Indian Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi with his Italian wife Sonia. My father, my uncle, did these things thru-",

"- hard work without distractions and American party schools constantly getting in the way. It is beyond me, why my parents aren‚t defending their culture and allowing these racist Americans to walk all over us, especially me.-",

"- the thing that‚absolutely beyond me is, I don‚t do drugs, I don‚t drink, just minding my business, I‚ve done nothing to no one, if there was anything to clear up-done it 100 times over. Why‚are these freaks pursuing me I.e. the orchestrators. For 8 years, I‚ve put aside my-",

"-likes, habits, grasping with the American dictators cruelty. Now after all that, they want to prostitute my life for entertainment while not disclosing what they do. American or not, what human being stands by while the orchestrators electrocute someone? -",

"- what do the orchestrators tell their following? Hey everyone, on behalf of the party school, we want are Renny to party like it‚1999

"Moving to normal tweets again

"Americans are worse than the Germans were with the Jews In Nazi Germany‚everything they do is superficial and not from the heart

"#Loki airs today on Disney Plus

"Loki",

"You‚d be surprised how many things from ages ago, or even eight years ago, can come in handy, in the present day, today

"Saw The Wedding Ringer the other day‚great movie‚seeking a female best friend though, not an audience

"You gotta check out the @TouchofModern app from the App Store or Google Play Store. They have the coolest things for sale

"this is what I wrote years ago, when something tried to make me think, by doing nothing, by sitting around in my house, I raised a strange group of kids to bother me across several years. -",

- once again you realize what you write is used to study you while the environment is manipulated to the orchestrator's liking by having something else presented as though it were through you.  https://t.co/0C3BxJDqMM

            "display_url" : "tweetextracts-blog.tumblr.com",

            expanded_url :   https://tweetextracts-blog.tumblr.com

"RT @RennyJi: W/everything, it boil down 2 \"what void\" ur trying 2 fill. Being human=ugly-&gt;a lot of good&bad w/in. Violent offenders should

"RT @RennyJi: - it wasn‚t God who caused my situation. It wasn‚t me, as I mind my business and return to my home. It was other people. Other

"Saw movie, ‚Oppenheimer.‚ It picked up during end of movie, where U realize U.S. government is taking away Oppenheimers credibility, despite & after his contributions 2 Manhattan Project‚s: atomic bomb. His crime was he wanted 2 raise awareness against dangers of nuclear warfare.",

"What does U.S. government do, when they‚re against accountability 4 their actions? They make U look like a clown, they take away ur credibility, they take away ur say by manipulating justice system against U, despite ur defense. They focus on ‚prevent, contain, salvage.‚-",

"- brain mapping‚what if it enabled people to be operated like drones?- like a remote control plane‚the project I‚m forced into isn‚t about curing diabetes. It‚about mapping person X‚consciousness, digitally, to person Y‚consciousness.-",

"- Everything happening is about employing common citizen as a soldier w/a government designed focus. This has been happening directly & indirectly. Indirectly, when U tell some idiot 2 do something & he/she does it. Directly, is when U map controllers consciousness 2 controllee.-",

The following three clips are from the Hulu movie: ‚Assassin‚ with Bruce Willis. It‚a 2023 released movie. Here‚part I:   https://t.co/CNzYTyhf1K

- Here‚part II of the same scene clip as Twitter doesn‚t allow clips longer than a minute and 30 seconds:   https://t.co/5H45FGkV8P

- here‚part 3 of same scene clip connected 2 last two clips in last 2 tweets. Perils of brain mapping is when like how it‚said in below clip when some1 maps their mind 2 urs & controls U. In movie the controllee experiences mind control as a lapse in memory.  https://t.co/NmGl6jAzzx

On the Miami herald‚   https://t.co/ZnMpN7DbQK

What else would the government do then play down something which coincides with the timing of the Cold War in the 1980s‚  https://t.co/TXSHypQp4W

"Clip in next tweet is from History Channel‚The UnXplained series, hosted by William Shatner‚if remote viewing is possible, and masqueraded under someone being a good citizen?(what? Kinda random), what else can be done more than 40 years after the subject of the clip?!-",

-Its understood Im part of a mockery on freedom/privacy in a State with Statue of Liberty in a country being symbol of opportunity‚how long things like below have 2 happen & with how many people 4 it not 2 arouse an ounce of empathy 2 help the 1 it surrounds thru disclosure?!   https://t.co/2hHQ0vyFng

"- the focus of remote viewing in the previous clip was mentioned in a notable news source: The Miami Herald.-",

"- I was watching the questioning of the Attorney General on CNN. It, got messy. But people: get messy. Years of being in my inescapable situation had resulted in me punching a hole in my wall twice.-",

"- On 2nd occassion, after I got LASIK; signifying no eye glass or contact lens cameras; part of a process of elimination: when i hit wall, I heard a family member stop coming towards, after they initiated walking in my direction. I can only imagine some1 instructed insanity.-",

"- after a while, the improbable becomes a possibility, when all other variables are eliminated. Something is producing the effect or even assault on my senses‚you begin to wonder, what‚causing that effect.-",

"- It‚interesting that after mentioning all the things I picked up on, to the FBI, the D.O.D. voicemail, etc., that no one came to my aid. If this phase is about boosting my ego, I‚d rather have, what is now a luxury, to move on with the normalcy of a human life.-",

"so a thought...-",

"-in a very convincing manner, the orchestrators make it clear to me that they're going to, subtly put, \"do away\" with me, while in this, or at the end of this. Something this big, after 11+years, even if it were just legally, the \"situation\" does not have a happy ending-",

"-i don't think my own parents go through my written material...for one thing, i think there's something paraphrasing what i write to them. regarding the rest of America, I think a filtered version is being delivered to you of what happens to me or what I write. -",

"- for some of you, you're in a fun game. keep track of where he goes, send it to the medium/platform - i guess?! There's the children like sounds, but at least so that group will help me, there is another group doing something else. -",

"- both of which are illegal. The children like sounds are arrogant. They're convinced its just them. When this first started, I called the police several times about this whole \"situation\", from start to finish, in its peculiarity. They lied to me and didn't help me. -",

"- When I went to the FBI, they gave me something to perpetually write on, for the hackers. The party school wanted to get rid of me and had their Conflict Resolution help the kids who started this instead of me. -",

"- The secondary group of orchestrators - for distraction purposes - and the primary group of orchestrators (to make their cause relevant with past trivial issues) want me to perpetually talk about the party school, the girl, and the random kids from the beginning of all this.-",

"- thats done, i moved on, i left the country cuz I didn't want to be bothered. But the orchestrators - their whole band - followed me there. -",

"- You as a people, because instructed or otherwise, talk about the past garbage that happened at the party school, like its the most-matter-of-fact-thing. But there is something else happening: abuse. -",

"-In myLife, in these 11+years, firefighters willExtend a hand, but also hide \"theSituation.\" The police exert authority&play in2 the situation. The FBI enables theSituation. The partySchool wants 2 save its ownSkin. In an American conspiracy against 1 person, I left out 1 group.-",

"- In just going through past job application emails, I see the part where they ask you, \"if you're a veteran?\" They ask did you serve your country. Some people join the military for better opportunities after their service, and some are in it for the service. But when a normal-",

"- person thinks of a soldier, they think of someq going off 2 the Middle East &nabbing some bad guys. But we say \"Thank U for ur service.\" Well, guys, myAmerican citizenship is being violated. There is a massiveConspiracy against 1 American. Illegal all around with illegal tech.-",

"- everyone is taking facts for granted and taking the extra measure of not talking to the person involved, for 11+ years. Being an American requires the extra step of compassion and a heart in your actions. While I understand you blow things up, I am in need of your compassion.-",

"- I am in need of  an exemplary American, such as a soldier, \"fighting for this country\" (as they say), to defend my rights against a government that allows this to happen. It's been 11+ years. Why are you taking this for granted and not investigating?-",

"-If you were to help me, unlike the others who say through obligation, duty, what they were instructed, or mechanically: \"Thank you for your service.\" , I would say it from the bottom of my heart. -",

"-Why won't even you not look into what's going and help me? Is it because of my Indian skin and do I remind you of the Middle Eastern Muslims that you're stereotyped to being against? Is it because I'm not a blonde white girl that you allow this to happen to me?-",

"- To fight for my citizenship's entitlement, you don't need to go to another country. Stop this illegal thing and the façade of the orchestrators from happening. -",

"-If its because you see me as an enemy, then do me the kindness of ending me like you do with the rest, rather than having these disgusting pigs of orchestrators keep their word of \"doing away with me.\"",

Verilux Sun Lamps - might give you an energy boost...  https://t.co/PGnA20olNz

"I think there are aromatherapy oils that you can apply on the skin for their health benefits...who knew...",

June 9th evening afternoon tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below (morning tweets and resulting tumblr link -several tweets down):  https://t.co/b5ZdnSXTPw

"June 10th tweets -",

There's a solar eclipse today:  https://t.co/whsHUGh71j

"Every morning, there is this one idiot monkey making sure his vehicle's engine or whatever, is as loud as possible...What about the people who sleep at this time? Sorry something is making you drive, but don't take it out on the rest of us in our houses...",

"So get this‚went for undergraduate degree and graduate degree at two different state schools. One is Binghamton, and the other, I call the party school. I Think downstate, people know which school I‚m referring to, but getting to the point: -",

"- needed transcripts from both colleges for a particular purpose. Both unofficial and official transcripts work. With Binghamton, I have Google mail made for my Binghamton email address. I can still access records and my main account page. This is all after graduating.-",

"- I decide to get an official transcript because a pdf version of it can be emailed to you. It costs $5. At party school, the same thing costs $10. Whereas Binghamton sent me the download link for the transcript within 30 min, party school still hasn‚t reached back to me, after -",

"- charging $10. My old email at party school does not work. My old account page, after graduating from party school does not work. It just shows the kind of quality you get, if the orchestrators were stalking that too. It shows all the other things said were true. -",

"- here‚another instructing fact about comparisons between Binghamton and party school: the meal plan. Both schools partner with Sodhexo for meal plan food. But party school seems to get cheap quality food from a cheaper plan and charges students $15 per meal for an -",

"— all you can eat buffet style meal. At Binghamton, they spent the extra nickel and got quality meal plans and charge less. You get real pizza for like 75 cents. You can get a hamburger for 75 cents. You can ask the guy at the grill to make you ham, egg, cheese on a croissant-",

"- or an egg white sandwich between toasted wheat bread. On Saturday‚s, you get chocolate chip pancakes, that are big, and made in front of u. You pay for what‚eaten. At party school, I got smart and found out about paying at chipotles and other places with your school ID card.-",

"- I would transfer my meal plan money to the ID card in what was called ‚Podium.‚ That way I ate at chipotles for less than the $15 meal plan at party school.",

"-Their computer science program is a joke. Their French & other departments close down. All at the party school. They probably have their respective graduate rates because of the not up 2 date classes they teach. Check past transcripts,their curriculum, and the job market to see.",

"Moving past comparisons in features/benefits of quality school: Binghamton, vs. party school‚-",

"I personally think Im crystal clear & thorough. Be it because of the situation or non native English speakers, people don‚t see the point I wish to convey. If Ive tried repeatedly to make a point, then whose it on ?!-",

"-For some strange reason, it‚like they‚re looking through a filter, or the lens of immaturity and zero life experience, or think you imply something malicious.",

"- I mean this one guy‚talking to him‚seems like he wants to do good‚ ur every third sentence, I gotta explain that I‚m not seeing things the way he keeps understanding whatever‚that‚like in a normal situation‚-",

"- then in the abnormal situation, God only knows what ur environment reacts to. Is there someone who doesn‚t  want to be around cuz you think I‚m in a bad mood or because - Now, while God only knows why you care - you don‚t like my perceived tone or what I‚m saying in writing?! -",

"- while I genuinely appreciate the interest by some around a regular guy, surrounded by hype of a compounding situation, ur wasting ur time looking into this. Go get out in the sun, and stop adhering to the orchestrators. It‚incredible, peoples mind always sticks together. -",

"- you couldn‚t detect malicious or difficult or a source of irritation if ur lives depended on it‚just from observation‚When alll this is over, and you see the unfiltered version of my words, I sincerely hope it stings‚I tried to wake you up, get you to do nothing, be natural.",

"-u‚d rather go about followingTheOrchestrators. U may even think I don‚t appreciate some perceived magnanimousGesture on the part of urPeople or those sharing ur skin tone (offense not taken, its biology/psychology). I don‚t needThem, &ur not getting a restricted life of 11+ yrs.",

"On the up side, had a tiny exchange of light conversation with someone in my morning outing‚pleasant, and wakes u up as good as coffee‚pleasant only cuz it came about naturally and not forced

"saw episode 1 of \"Loki\" on Disney Plus...i thought it was really good...it gets into the multiverse, time travel, anachronisms...good stuff...",

"you know what's an epic name for a woman? \"Vivianna\"I mean so many syllables, starts exotically with a \"V\"...sounds fancy...",

"Did you know that : \"NeuroFactor is an all-natural, patented extract of whole fruit from the Coffea arabica plant.\" ? It's the unused part of coffee beans and I heard it's supposed to be good for your brain...",

"anyone try exercising with a vibration platform? I think you can only do (3) 10 min sessions at a time, daily...",

June 10th tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below:  https://t.co/uiS2uXSPXf

"So \"Death Wish Coffee\" could be the strongest coffee out there. They sell it on Amazon &other places u can google. 1 cup of coffee, amidst conflicted claims, has anywhere between 300-700 mg of caffeine. Big variance. Daily caffeine intake is recommended to be 400 mg, altogether.-",

"- so its like multiple cups of coffee in one mug. Kinda hesistant to try it myself, but at the same time I think Im among those who aren't sensitive to caffeine or have a tolerance. You gotta wonder if that 400 mg recommendation is for all people, or just a generalization.",

"so ads on twitter for paris hilton &Kristin stewart..whatever happened to paris hilton?",

"-The way Kristin Stewart &her fellow Charlies Angel, in the original duo, in the 2019 version look, u can see the difference b/w a model & a non-model...They \"look like\" models, and not necessarily like normal human beings...",

"Ever been out with a girl who wants to see who can drink more tequila shots? Personally, I don't see the thrill...more of a caffeine person...Why knock out your brain so much that you're not thinking straight?! The mind is the control center. Why dampen that? -",

"-But 11+ years in this, now I can use a tequila shot...took 11+ years...",

"- thinking back, you feel you had it made... i mean i was the guy who'd never get ID'd at bars. In the tequila shot incident, its kinda funny, when you pass through, you gotta help the one whose idea it was for tequila shots, get in...-",

"- I think part of the thrill is, for some, it's something you can't do...",

so saw on Google News that a woman gave birth to 10 babies...that is something else...  https://t.co/zah5uOZgmZ

"you know if I make it big, in my spare time, i think i'll be a pharmacist and/or astronomer...",

"saw this light skinned African American girl modeling for probably her Instagram, outside a store I went to today...kinda makes you wish you were taller...like I said this morning, some people have looks that go beyond the average human...like the Charlies Angels comment...",

"chicken enchiladas or chicken stuffed with cheese and broccoli...good stuff...",

"online ordering..U never no what'll happen..ordered a brownJacket of 1 particularSize from macys &got a whiteJacket of a different size..another macys story? ordered 2 large jackets from the same brand, different color. 1 is loose like XL & the other fits.-Manufacturing Defect...",

"I hear \"Harley Quinn\" on HBO Max is good...looking forward to that on Saturdddayyy...-heard its like a mature Batman cartoon...",

"currently experiencing sunset through the blinds in my room...kinda would be nice to be out in a field and immerse oneself in it...has a glow to it, unlike the brightness of sunrise...yeah i know, i'm corny...",

"looks like @sesamestreet has gotten new characters, in going beyond bert and ernie...",

"so today no tumblr link, as you can just scroll down/up and read...",

"So on Facebook you see these clips of women proposing to guys‚WOW‚it‚like women never ask a guy out and just give vague signs, and you find out there are women who go so far as to ‚proposing to a guy.‚ Why isn‚t that real life‚direct expressions/interactions over signs!",

"-there are a bunch of clips on Facebook. One is about a girl who cheated on a guy..& it got me philosophical 4 a moment..when some1 nowadays says ‚cheat‚ in a relationship, it means U had relations w/ another. I think its incredible that ‚dating men &women‚ cheat in that regard-",

"-I mean it‚1 thing if married people cheat on each other, but u wonder how do ‚dating people‚ cheat? I mean ‚can‚t u just say I‚m no longer interested &move on?‚ And then on tv, u hear women encourage each other 2 go for the ‚best deal,‚ regardless of the stage of life.-",

"- I mean one thing you learn about Americans is that they have no conscience. Corny as it sounds, you don‚t follow ur heart.-",

"The other day I was waiting on a parking space through cars passing by, while my signals on. A middle aged mother with a baby in a white SUV, seeing my signal, steals the space, and waits for my car to pass by, before getting out. A mother of a baby did that. -",

"- this is where this country is at, and by the time my ‚situation‚ is over, trust me when I say, ur going to see America exposed.",

"Moving onto another note,-",

"- I think girls are more likely to cheat then guys. Sure it‚said that guys only think/care about one thing. But here‚something you probably weren‚t aware of. I learned a while back that women can multitask better and focus on multiple things. -",

"- women are wired that way b/c evolution/biology wise, it‚supposed 2 help them be mothers. Men are wired to be able to focus on 1 thing at a time. So, on a positive note, in a relationship, a woman can be the person who comes up with all of the ideas 2 improve quality of life.-",

"- in such a relationship, the multi focus woman comes up with the ideas, and the 1 focus man, encourages a single plan for those ideas or one idea being better than the rest. Thats 1 way things can happen. But the multi focused woman will be more inclined to think of other men.-",

"- whereas the single minded man holds the potential of placing that one woman on a pedastil (if that‚how it‚spelled) or on a high place to cater to.",

"- some men want to fulfill desire, while others also seek a companion, but women are generally after the ‚best deal.‚ Their friends are notorious for encouraging this

"Moving on‚-",

"They say a husband and wife compliment each other‚so the ideal boyfriend/girlfriend must do the same‚-",

"-when ur bored with time to think, for those that solely think we‚re evolution based, how does evolution, without an Intelligent Creator, create males and females, who are complimentary with respect to physical body parts and mentally in terms of love and support provided?!",

"So vitamin water and Powerade, found at your supermarket and vending machines, has 27 grams and 34 grams of sugar, respectively. BUT,-",

"‚ Rebbl ‚ drinks are nourishing, but cost about $4.50. They only contain 9-10 grams sugar. Koia Plant Based Shake has 4 grams of sugar and protein. And bai juice has antioxidants and 1 gram sugar. This good stuff costs around $4.50 a small bottle. Why is that?-",

"-Is it because people don‚t know about these drinks that I‚ve found on InstaCart and Wegmans, and hence, not enough people are buying it?",

"Amazon groceries (Fresh version or Whole Foods version) sells a version of Chocolate Nesquick with just 3 grams of sugar‚ tastes the same

June 11th & June 12th tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below:  https://t.co/bmjlPKFDu9

"June 13th tweets

"Want 2 shave around the line up or shape up from ur barber? ‚Single foil electric‚ shavers help. There aren‚t that many on the market. Try the ‚Babylisspro‚ single foil shaver. Want to do your facial hair line up/shape up by urself? Try the ‚Andis 74000 Professional T Outliner‚ .",

"So when I first bought a particular item, it was $95. Today, just feel like googling stuff, and find that the same item is selling for $38. Really makes you wonder about the true value of stuff, what it costs to make quality things, and how much money companies are making

"The old school straight razor from Japan‚‚Feather‚ brand can help with line ups/shape ups of facial hair

"So religion and psychology‚I feel if you practice the discipline recommended by religion, along with incorporating the meditative or yogic practices of other religions, psychology, in a lot of cases, would be out of a job. There are some bad cases,but those aside‚-",

"- when it comes to religion, while people have the freedom 2 be as liberal as they choose, hard core discipline, when religions first started, must have been necessary. Guidance from religion led to good families & good upbringing of children. It led to productivity & progress.-",

"- I mean, like in the days of primitive man, or I guess like 2500 years ago, when people must‚ve partied, or bluntly put: got f*ked all day, there was no progress, not productivity, no improvement to the quality of life‚ we probably wouldn‚t have TVs, laptops, cell phones, etc.-",

"- it‚because people managed to focus on bigger and better things, that they made something of themselves, and that we enjoy the quality of life offered today, despite the lack of a conscience for the most part

"Moving on from a thought

"With life in general, from jobs to clothes, I think it‚good to have options

"Restaurants usually have a group of people‚that being known, where on earth do all the people park for the restaurants in Bronxville‚Pondfield Road?!",

"That ‚ahhh why now?!‚ Moment when you voice crackles in front of a pretty girl, from not speaking all morning

"If you like Greek food, like the more well known baklava, you gotta try the Greek dessert: ‚Galaktoboureko.‚ It‚delicious, after a Greek/Mediterranean Lamb Gyro with Tzatziki sauce

"I dunno, I started wondering‚a girl once told me she thought I‚d look good with an earring in onE ear-for starters, don‚t know how I‚d explain it to my parents‚even at this age‚-",

"-The funny thing about earrings? I went to all boys Catholic private college preparatory high school. There we had to be clean shaven and wear blazers and ties to school, but guys were allowed to wear one earring in 1 ear‚so earrings are considered proper with suits‚who knew?!-",

"Nowadays, they sell temporary tattoo printers. At present, I see a lot of people my age with tattoos.Why get a permanent 1, when u can get a realistic 1 that‚temporary?! I mean‚chances are u have beautiful skin & could be stared it all day‚why make there be less of u 2 show?!",

"So when you swipe ur card to make purchases at some food/beverage places, along with asking for a receipt, it also asks if you want to leave a tip‚I mean you go to a restaurant here and there, you naturally leave a tip‚but what if it‚a place you go to everyday with ur card?!",

"So, chocolate chip or cookie dough? I prefer cookie dough

"So back when I wore sweatpants, we‚d wear them like cargoPants-pockets on side/kinda baggy‚u can‚t findAPlace thatSellsThese sweatpants anymore-how do they go outOfStyle, compared 2 regularSweatPants?! Closest thing I could find are‚Nike Joggers‚ &they cost 40 freakin‚ bucks.",

"That moment where you wonder why the guy dropping off your box, left it on the first of three steps toward your front door, leaving you to walk outside. Like everyone else, can‚t it be dropped off in front of the front door, above those three steps?",

"As I get caffeinated to catch up on some work, it occurs to me‚I‚m in my very early thirties. Everyone I grew up with is getting married or have kids. As you may have heard from me, it‚been a lifelong dream to make a girl my best friend in college, and marry her.-",

"- the ‚situation‚, from start 2 finish, in all itsVariations, over all these yrs, messedUp thatDream. Since I was little, I wanted a female some1 who was the sameAge asMe. MyParents are 6 years apart, w/my dad being older. I dunno, I kinda wanted some1 on the same page,an equal.-",

"- now with all who I know being married or with children, I‚ll probably end up with someone younger than me. Way to mess up my ‚same age‚ dream, orchestrators

"You know what‚good? Sorbettos and gelatos

"So there‚another Thor movie coming up in 2022, Guardians of the Galaxy movie coming up in 2023-good to see what happens post-Thanos‚theres another doctor strange movie, black panther, ms marvel‚Thank God for Marvel‚DC needs fo keep up with their releasing of movies

"so in some place around the world and in older times, people would base relationships on astrology. In America, people look to astrology for fun. In India, they have their more in depth astrology system - probably more accurate, as its from Hinduism. -",

"- i think basing relationships on the characteristics of a star sign is limiting. People are more than signs. I don't believe a star sign says what you are, but instead, what you have the potential of being. According to American astrology, I'm a Libran - the scales of justice.-",

"-Ironically, i'm probably in the most unjust thing that can happen to a person. For me, it would be ideal to get Gemini or an Aquarius. But Leos are good too. But these are just limiting details. If you have an open heart and a conscience, you can be with any star sign.-",

"-Ages ago, I knew a Cancer, according to astrology. According to one site, it said \"if there's time, there's potential, and would be an affectionate couple.\" What's funny about that girl...they say there are two kinds of Librans. The partying Librans and the romantic Librans...-",

"- The one I am, I'll leave it to my potential girl friend/spouse to figure out, but the guy this June star sign went with, was, from first impression, more the party Libran. What do you do when girls want that...",

"-Me, being a Libra, the only inanimate thing in the zodiac - it says we're social, king of friends & relationships...& here we are, with the orchestrators who bring up cr*p about me not being liked or in need of friends...don't like me? chances are i don't like you either, lol..-",

"- but point being, whether it be for a relationship or your  career (as mine says I should be a lawyer), your destiny, your fate (as they're two different concepts), rests solely on the choices of an individual. Those choices depend on the smartness and wisdom of the individual.-",

"-Never let anything - be it something cosmic like astrology or another person - tell you what you are, or what you can be. You decide your fate, your destiny. Take charge of your life.",

June 13th tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below:  https://t.co/yt1vx5tnnL

"6/14/21 tweets

"Did you know February 2, 2020 was an event that occurs after 900 years? The date is a palindrome. 02/02/2020 - reads the same backwards and forwards‚Man o man, I missed it

"Whatever happened to BTS after Dynamite?!",

"Christmas songs always make one feel good‚the whole mood and setting of Christmas, especially a white Christmas is beautiful

"‚Angels we have heard on high‚- personal favorite- Gloooo-oooo-ooooo‚Äî riiiaaa",

"I have a friend from 14 years ago, named Zac‚recently saw his 2-4 year old daughter call him ‚daddy‚ in a Facebook video‚really moves a guy‚around Easter I think, there was a Facebook clip of her signing ‚Hosanna‚‚smart little girl

"From Wellerman -‚sea shanty‚ to Katherine jenkins ‚Sancta maria‚ to ‚adeste Fideles‚ to Stevie wonder ‚ave Maria‚‚my Spotify playlist just started playing this stuff‚I really enjoyed it‚whatever genre these songs were‚maybe you will too‚be warned, it‚old school stuff

"So this Church I go 2..Annunciation in Yonkers..its a nice Church..can take back roads from my house 2 get there..but whether or not its b/c I go 2 their 7:30 or 10 am Masses, theres not even 1 song‚u need a song like ‚He will raise you up on Eagles Wings‚‚ songs move the soul.",

"Aesthetics of a place, a person, always affects thoseAround u. People shouldMakeThemselves presentable &places like Churches should be aesthetically pleasing. In the sixth grade, I remember seeing Sacred Heart Church inYonkers 4 the 1st time. It was beautiful in magnificent way.-",

"-seeing that Church for the 1st time really moved me inside. It facilities feeling like ur in the majesty of God

"- speaking of aesthetics, Iona Prep is also a magnificent high school. You hear private school or college preparatory school, some are inclined to think about preppy kids. But we were shown a mode of life for our future. There I met teachers like Mr. Henry or Mrs. Fealy. -",

"- these were model teachers, exceptional in teaching. In Mrs. Fealys biology class, I struggled, but she was available after school, everyday 2 try to drill the material into the annoying kid that was me. For her, I may have been a speck in time, but r me,she was a modelTeacher.-",

"- at neither Binghamton nor party school, did I meet such dedicated teachers. I mean college professors have office hours, but a lot of them are professors not to teach, but to use the research facilities at a University location.-",

"- Binghamton is termed the Harvard of the SUNYs. But thru life experience, as appropriate FOR MY INDIVIDUAL LIFE, Ive found you get what you paid for. I think if I went to a private college, among non IVYs, like Manhattan College, facilities and instruction would‚ve been better.-",

"- state colleges are probably the worst place to seek out a money saving opportunity. Some say focus on a good graduate school, but undergrad serves as the foundation for the rest of ur possibly continuing education and you always need a good base.-",

"-anyway back to the great high school I mentioned: Iona Prep of New Rochelle. The school has a motto: ‚Estoti Firmi‚. It‚s, I believe, Latin for ‚Stay Firm.‚ Over these 11+ years, I‚ve had lots of time to think. That motto has crossed my mind, among other things‚-",

"- through the good moments in life, as well as life‚storms, you need to stand tall, with your feet in the ground, and face things- or simply put, stay firm, stay strong, maintain consistency, maintain who you are in ur identity, despite all that brushes against you.-",

"- this situation paints me in all sorts of ridiculous ways 2get me 2react 4 their entertainment purposes. For 11+ years, Ive been abandoned by people &left alone as depicted being one thing or the other. But Ive realized I‚ve got to maintain me, try to get a correcting word out.-",

"@IonaPrep  , thank you for the privilege of being part of your community, my education, you being who and how you are, and for your motto: ‚Estoti Firmi .‚",

"Great thing a grade school/high school can do is give incentive 4 a day off.-",

"-Iona Prep, run by Irish Christian Brothers-followers of Blessed Edmund Rice- had 1particularBrother‚I believe his name was Brother O‚Conner(2002). For collecting so many cans 4Thanksgiving drive, we were awarded a day off‚makes school exciting 

"So I said state ***Colleges don‚t always have the best professors‚u may argue w/their graduation rates‚but in a lot of cases, that‚not b/c of a particular professors teaching‚its b/c of a students ability 2teach him/herself the material thru their ability 2 grasp textbooks.-",

"- like when you pay for college, ur paying for their reputation (if they have one), the facilities, and those select few of professors who give exceptional notes, for making teaching urself the textbook easier.",

"Listen to this Japanese song from the anime, ‚The Seven Deadly Sins‚ ‚ it‚addicting‚it‚called ‚ Netsujou no Spectrum ‚ and it‚by Ikiminogakari . YouTube it ‚ makes you feel like ur on an adventure with friends or on some epic quest 

"So some of U may have biases towards theChinese, in terms of American made vs. China made, or maybe even basedOn COVID . But I have many ChineseFriends (along with East Asian friends in general-Im South Asian) &the Chinese are greatPeople, a smartPeople. Their products areGreat.-",

"- I personally feel America is in a slump with new products ( could have to do with present day culture and mentality). The disciplined hardworking Chinese come up with revolutionary futuristic devices that can better life.-",

"-Personally, today, things have been slow. Was having a hard time focusing, caffeine wasn‚t helping, taking my mind off work and taking a break wasn‚t working‚so I searched for solutions when this happened last‚and I found the -",

"-like I wasSaying, I foundThe‚ Afunso Head Scalp Massager ‚ onAmazon. WorthItsPrice. It uses compressionTech 2 increaseCirculation 2the head. I suddenlyFelt able&ready 2get back 2work. How many of ourProblems areDue 2 poor  Circulation? &the meds people goOn instead..sad,America.",

"So if U buy 2 exact sameShirts from Macy‚-Polo Ralph Lauren or anyBrand-theyll fit differently.Same w/Amazon. Buy 2 of anything made in America/China/Wherever, &those 2things might workComparativelyDifferently. Whats goingOn w/manufacturing? Shouldn‚t these things be identical?",

June 14th tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below:  https://t.co/ODh6egvsJt

[melodymishahiddlestan]

Rambles of an undiagnosed ADHD writer

So it’s August 31st 2023 and I have yet to post ANY completed works like I’d promised to myself that I would on January 1st 2023.

I’ve written 3 separate NEW stories (all different fandoms) and have worked on a fourth which I’ve been working on for YEARS (i first started it in 2017!) and I’m tired.

TIRED!

Tired of my brain feeling like a computer screen with 3000+ tabs attached to it all with different things going on simultaneously.

Tired of spending hours building complex backgrounds for my OCs with Easter eggs of my character’s involvement within the Canon Universe for my own AU.

I hate that I want so badly to think straight to get these ideas out to you (cuz I think people will genuinely like them) but my brain keeps distracting me and I end up spending WAY too much time procrastinating on my OCs backgrounds and Family dynamics which doesn’t help with the ACTUAL writing.

I know I have ADHD, everything I see about it on S/M screams “THATS ME! THEIR DESCRIBING ME” but I need to be diagnosed and get the drugs to help me think straight…

I have rung my GP three times this week alone to get an appointment just to see my Doctor for a referral and every time I do I get ‘sorry we have no appointments today, ring back next week’ (I’ve done that 3 times this last 2 months)

It’s frustrating.

I’m lashing out more, even at my own kid. (That’s not fair on them!)

If I could go private I would but guess what? I can’t afford it. I’m a writer that can’t write with ADHD who hasn’t been properly diagnosed.

I’m crying rn cuz I’ve just spent the last three hours sleeping (I went sleep early cuz I pulled an all nighter the day before) but woke up just now cuz of a extremely vivid dream featuring Bucky Barnes and Loki Friggason and me that I’m itching to write up about! (I already have two of those stories on the go!)

My brain in so overwhelmed and overactive that I can’t switch off even to go sleep. I’m tired even after I’ve been asleep.

I’m sorry for the rant but I have no one else to talk to about this.

[sungbeam]

HEY HEY HEYYYYY

I’m back only to be blessed by 2 (TWOOOOOOOO) FICS PHEW WHAT HAVE I DONE TO BE BLESSED LIKE THIS

Also omg all the concert vids have me going INSANE esp with Saviour like LORD CHRIST ALMIGHTY THAT WAS THE ONE SONG THAT I HAD TO HAVE ON THE SETLIST OR I WOULD’VE DIED FR

I really hope that they come to my area for the tour esp since Sunwoo said that they weren’t sure if they’re going to do a tour next year 😭 and then Sangyeon will be enlisting soon too (not SOON soon ik but still somewhat soon 😭) so I really hope I can see an OT11 concert before then 🥹

And hopefully you’ll be able to see them too! So we can scream abt the concerts together hehehe 🤭

Also! The Hyunjae fic was TOOOOOOOOO GOOD PHEW had me tugging at my heartstrings and screaming at Hyunjae to stop being oblivious but it *is* a bad habit for us virgos 😔💔 and the confession scene AHHHHHHHH the whole fic kinda felt like an early 2000s romcom aka the BEST era for romcoms and I ate it up SCRUMPTIOUSLY such a sweet ending the the main/bigger fic section of the series and I really can’t wait to see the rest but please take your time and there’s no rush as I also saw that you’ve been feeling stressed irl so please take a break if you need to! I’m sure we’ll all be waiting patiently for your return to writing and your mental health is top priority so please always take care of yourself first! 🥺🫶

THE MOST RECENT CHANGMIN FIC THO WOAH. So what if I was giggling and kicking my legs 🙄 Changmin’s duality is what has me going insane man 😤 and I always appreciate the love-hate banter hehe e2l is my guilty pleasure what can I say 😵‍💫

All in all, I’m always happy to log back into tumblr and go straight to your blog to check for any updates and just your regular posts bc I find you to be v funny and just like me fr 😭💖 but please take care of yourself and do what you have to do! You got this! *virtual kiss and hug hehe*

P.s. I did the quiz and I got Chanhee! I did cry cause he’s just saur… saur sweetie I love him sm TT

- Love, 🌷 anon

OMG TULIP HI LOVEY !!!

PLS IM SO KSNFKD i've been hard avoiding concert clips bc i get fomo low-key 😔 i will watch them soon tho trust !! BUT ALSP THE FACT THAT THEY PERFORMED SAVIOR SKFNSKFN KILL ME NOW IM NOT READY I AM NOT PREPARED RED ALERT RED ALERT—

DKCNKE PLS SANGYEON ENLISTING I CANT EVEN IMAGINE like i just realized how many of the groups i stan haven't gone to the military yet and that's gonna be so odd, but i do hope i get to see them before they go (_ _;) if they come to my city/cities and if i can afford it and find people to go with too :') OMG BUT I HOPE U GET TO GO SKCNKDFN CUZ IF I DONT U CAN TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT :'))))

AHAHHAHAAH IM CRYING NOT THE US VIRGOS BIT 😭😭😭 waiiiiit a min—thats such a big compliment that it feels like a 2000s romcom 😭😭😭 i actually am so stoked that u think that ahhhhhsjjcjd yeah im taking my time w them :') writing's been slow for me lately, and mental health has not been at its best but im tryna pull thru!! the past couple of days have def been a lot better which is why i've been so active, but im def always feeling like im just waiting for the ball to drop ;-;

ANYWAYS yes the uh,,, haha changmin fic 🤡 i had the beginning of it just sitting in my docs and i finally got to finishing it on the plane, so there it is 🤡 PLS HIS DUALITY MAKES ME SWERVE TO HIM SO HARD ITS RIDICULOUS and honestly i LOOOOOVE writing banter like that for him and his character(s) like that's what brings me absolute delight in writing 🤌🏻

PLS U FLATTER ME SO (ﾉ´∀｀*) im not often told that im funny so thank u :')) ig we just vibe like that then !! HUGS AND KISSES AND GOLD STARS FOR U MWAH MWAH

(omg chanhee 🥺 congrats !!! thanks for taking the quiz teehee)

[tendouluvr]

aizawa calling you clingy - gn reader

- [attempt at] angst to fluff

- warnings: being called clingy, aizawa gets annoyed with reader and berates them, one use of the word ‘shit’

- wc: 1.9k

a/n: this wasnt......as sad as i wanted... i cant tell if im just not so good at writing angst or immune to it T_T

once again, not edited!

#! aizawa!!!! eee

#! hes a levelheaded man so arguments are rare

#! u both trust one another so theres no reason to have doubts in ur relationship

#! being his s/o, he tells u things thats not so easy to tell others over time, and you’re patient enough to let him take however much time he needs to let u in

#! however, years of keeping to himself most of the time doesnt just disappear even if you’re his s/o

#! so aizawa does have this tendency to close off and distance himself from u bc of his stress and insecurities

walking through the spacious halls of ua, you were headed towards your lovely boyfriend. aizawas been pretty busy lately with teaching his class, making sure no one is being left behind progress wise, doing his job as a pro-hero, and then spending his free time training with shinsou.

you knew showing up at school unexpectedly was something aizawa found irky, that’s why you made sure to tell him the night before that you would be coming during lunch time to bring him some yummy homemade food.

humming softly to yourself, you finally reached the door opening to class 1-A and walked in. the classroom was empty, but there at the front was no one other than mr. aizawa shouta. you quickly greeted him with a smile and he turned to look at you.

“what are you doing here?” he slowly asked with a look of confusion.

“i brought you some food! did you eat yet? i hope not, i made-,” you quickly stopped talking once you noticed the look he was giving you.

“why are you here? i already told you, you shouldnt be showing up without letting me know first. our relationship is quiet, if the students see they’ll get noisy and ask questions, i’ll get bombarded by my colleagues, and it’ll put you in danger if words get out. did anyone see you coming here? can you listen to me for once instead of continuing to always be near me? you’re so damn clingy and need to start thinking about the consequences your action will bring. i already ate, just go home before anything happens.”

your jaw dropped a little after hearing what he just said to you. did he not remember what you told him last night?

worst of all, you couldnt believe he just called you clingy. you just wanted to do something nice for him by making his favorite food hoping that it’ll relieve some of the stress thats been building up, but he just thought of you as clingy.

fine, if clingy is what you are then you’ll stop bothering him. you quickly whispered an apology, not sure if he could hear or not, and began making your way back home as fast as possible. the food you made for him was still tightly grasped in your hand.

due to the new dormitories, aizawa stays at ua majority of the time. he comes home to your shared apartment whenever he can to spend time with you. unfortunately, those time aren’t usually much because as soon as he’s free, he’s quick to do something else.

once you’ve made it home, you packed the food away and put it in the fridge. you felt your phone buzzing repeatedly, already guessing who it could possibly be, you took it out to see it was your boyfriend.

shou <3: im sorry

shou <3: honey, im so sorry. pls text me back when u can

shou <3: i know what i said hurted u, but i promise u i dont mean it. pls just call me or text me so we can talk about this

shou <3: i have to go back now. but i love u. so much.

staring at your screen, you contemplated texting him back.

letting out a sigh, you decided not to.

putting your phone to the side, you walked to the bedroom and changed out of your clothes into the comfy pjs you were wearing right before you left.

seeing that there was nothing for you to do other than wallow in your insecurities and let out a few tears, you got into bed and made yourself comfortable for an afternoon nap.

aizawa on the other hand was at school and distracted. his own words kept replaying over and over in his head and all he wants to do is smack himself a few times (after comforting u ofc).

his students could tell he was in a badder mood than usual so they collectively agreed to not worsen it (one particular student does not care. can u guess?). aizawa just wanted the day to pass so he can apologize to you directly and make it up with some cuddling.

despite being distracted with planning his apology and thinking about you, he was still teaching as he should and constantly telling his students to be quiet because he’s intimidating like that.

a few hours passed, the students are back in their dorms and some of the teachers are still in school finishing up some work. the hallways were empty and silent, and the weather outside was nice and calm - not too sunny with just the right amount of wind.

however, if you were to peek your head inside of class 1-A at the moment, the environment is an exact 180. aizawa is quickly trying to grade the remaining stack of papers he has on his desk so he can leave as soon as he can. there’s papers everywhere, he’s not so sure where the answer key went off to but to hell with the answer key. he just needs to go home.

his hair is messily tied up and his lips have probably been gnawed off by now. as soon as school ended, he got out his phone to see if you replied and sadly you didn’t. he doesn’t blame you though, considering all of the shit he said to you earlier. 

finally writing down the fat score in red pen onto the final paper, he gathers everything and put to the side of his desk and packed up his stuff. his stuff being his yellow sleeping bag and that’s it.

he went to his room first to clean himself up a bit, and then grabbed a taxi to go to your shared apartment. arriving at the front door, he takes out his copy of the key and entered.

first thing he noticed while entering and taking off his shoes was that the apartment was dark and quiet. he made his way to the kitchen first and turned on its lights to check the fridge. in the fridge laid the food you made for him earlier today. he took it out to start heating it up in the microwave then he walks away from the food and to your bedroom.

quietly opening the door, he poked his head in to see you laying on your side with your back facing the door. he assumed you were asleep and gently closed the door to not wake you up. he made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. 

you, feeling the bed dip, slowly opened your eyes to be greeted with the sight of your boyfriend gingerly brushing his fingertips across your cheekbones. he notices that you’re awake and looks up to meet your eyes.

making eye contact with him, you quietly grunted and brought the blanket up to cover your face while turning your entire body to the other side to ignore him. aizawa sighed and brought his hand down to rest on your waist as he begins talking.

“yn... i know you’re.. mad at me for the things i said to you earlier, but i’m truly sorry. i know saying i didn’t mean it isn’t good enough for you to forgive me, but i want you to know i’m really really sorry. i’ve been so busy for the past few days, my head is all over the place, seeing you at school just got me overthinking and worried that i ended up saying things about you that’s not true at all. i love you so much, hun. you’re the best thing to happen to me. you don’t have to forgive me now, i understand if you want some space.”

it was silent for some time after he finished his apology. the echoing silence was slowly making aizawa worried that you’ll leave him, but he won’t tell you that. thinking that you wanted space, he lifted his shaky hand off of your waist and moved to get off of the bed when you suddenly grabbed onto his hand to keep him there.

“i...i told you the day before that i was going to be visiting you during lunch time. did you not remember? or even hear me tell you?”

aizawa situated himself back down onto the bed before replying. “if i’m being honest, i don’t really remember much of that day at all. my brain was occupied with work and rest, so i was practically drained by the end of the night. i’m sorry i took it out on you, it’s my fault for overworking when i know you’ve been trying to help.”

letting out a soft sigh, you turned your body back towards him. still holding onto his hand, you carefully slotted your fingers in between his and pulled him down to lay with you. he immediately found comfort in this and placed his head into your neck. you could feel his facial hair against your skin making you let out a quiet giggle.

“i love you. i know you have a habit to overwork since that’s all you did before we dated, but please shou, take care of yourself. im not talking physically, cuz you’re already so damn fine, but mentally. i hate seeing you bury yourself in work and training that it even makes me tired just watching you.”

he grumbled something against your neck - his usual reaction to you complimenting him - and held onto you tighter while putting light kisses on your collarbone.

“i know. i will. please bear with me, i know i’m a pain but i’ll always try to be my best for you. i’m never letting you go, love you too much for that.”

“hmm? who said i’m going? you’re stuck with me forever just so you know,” you laughed and patted his head before rising from the bed.

“i heard you heating up the food earlier. get up and come eat,” you tugged aizawa to get him off the bed.

he grumbled once again because he was being forced to leave the warm comfort of your shared bed, but followed you out anyway holding onto your hand.

“wait. you heard me entering? so you were pretending to sleep when i got here?! not funny, babe. not funny. -also don’t take sleep for granted. i did and look where that got me. stop laughing!”

bonus:

it was the next day and aizawa just finished passing out the grades he rushed grading yesterday. even though it was rushed, he was confident that there wasn’t any mistakes-

“aizawa sensei, you marked this question wrong when it’s right. this one too. and this other one on the last page. are you trying to fail me?!” denki dramatically wailed as he showed aizawa his papers.

guess he did make mistakes after all.

[yukisnowywriting]

I Will Always Be With You, Promise.

Karatachi Kagura x y/n

masterlist

genre : angst, hurt/comfort, fluff.

warning : suicidal, depression, all that dark stuff

a/n : ayeeeee im back ayeee (no one probably cares but ayeeeee). this is quite OOC cuz my mans got no enough screentime and I just made this to comfort myself with some imaginations so yeah... Enjoy! (i swear theres so little fanfic of kaguraxreader)

I dont know kaguras age so lets just imagine hes 15 (ah... young love)

(btw u could change the chara u imagine if u dont like him or dont know kagura)

---

Being a rare child thats more smarter and talented than other people in kirigakure was a very great thing, the adults respect you, the mizukage knows of your well being, and its easier to win some quiz or test while ending up number one. A dream like life, atleast for everyone else. For y/n, the expectation of being number one burdens you too much. Especially for you who was still turning into a teenager.

The burden was too much until when you end up number one again, you stopped feeling happy nor proud. Y/n only wanted to spend atleast her teen years with friends your age and having fun.

ah right... you dont have friends your age (typical y/n, sad that im really like this). You only managed to talk to Kagura, well hes only 2 years older... eventhough you feel like hes avoiding you, maybe he hates you too.

guess you have nobody

---

Kagura POV

..."why is she so cute" (simp-)

Getting to introduce myself and to talk with y/n was the best mistake Ive made. Sad that we dont spend time that much. My heart races too much whenever I talk to her, this is bad for my health.

The way she smiles, walks, runs, everything she does makes my heart flutter...

we've know each other for two years, but it feels like theres a barrier between us that she made, always one step closer and two steps back.

i look at her from afar every time i get a chance to, i feel like im obsessed, but just seeing her blink makes me fall in love all over again.

i feel like at this point i know almost all her cute habits, what is she probably doing at the second, and many more. I wonder if I should... get closer to her.

maybe starting next week. i dont have any schedule next week anyways, and neither y/n

end of pov

---

one week later

You were just at your normal spot, a high cliff near the ocean, kirigakure sure has a very great view eventhough being called mist village. But today, life was more tougher on the little details than usual with you, and now when you see the ocean, you think 'how peaceful it is, even thy waves move with big heavy strokes, yet always reflected beautiful and peaceful.' and to get to the point, it felt so peaceful, that you felt like.... being in it will have you in peace.

You take on step to the edge, and another, and more follows as your eyes began to be lost of the people youve cared for.

you may have a little crush on that cute yet powerful blonde, and actually tried to convince yourself that the two of you were similar, you came to conclusion that the two of you are not to be compared. Kagura is way better than you, the gods picked him to support. He is just the same as you, a powerful individual, but not like you, he develops himself fastly, even when no one in the village turn to eye him as a person and not of the forth mizukage bloodline, he still grew into a powerful person to protect. How you envy his mind. How you hated that he could do what you cant. How you hated that you hate him so much but each time he sees you he gives you a smile and a compliment that youve always wanted. How he says "your a very exceptional person, not like what they say, your not just a genius, your also a very lovely person". You hate that everything he does makes you want to breathe another day just to see his smile. You hate that the fact that you will break into tears right now and stop the thing your going to right now if he comes up to you.

Just like right now...

---

As he took every confidence to stand beside you, he walks to your usual spot with the intention of getting more close to you by striking up a conversation and inviting you to spend the day with him.

But the moment he was there, he panicked as he sees you stepping towards the edge abnormally, it looks clear that you were trying to jump, but the waves today were too much for you to go swimming so he knows that whatever you were gonna do, it wasnt gonna be good. He wants to stop you but once he looks at you eyes from afar, he could sense all of your negativity and a little light that whispers your hope of wanting to dissappear from this world. As he stops and stands a few meters behind you, he ask "are you okay?". he seemingly did not catch your attention but know by how you fasten your steps little by little that you were still willing to jump.

He grabs your hand and spins you around, he bends his body a little to meet your eyes with one arm engulfing you in his embrace. "you had a bad day didnt you? do you want to share it with me?" he pulls away giving little space between you and him, as he gives you a warm gentle smile. you just looked down as tears start to escape your eyes, and little sobs break. he once again embraces you and gently tucks your head in his chest. After a few moments, you start to ramble on about what your feeling;

why does it have to be me? why do people carry me oh so high but when i fail, they turn their backs. they appreciate me when Im all correct but even 0.1 mistake can take effect... i dont like this... im still 13, in the last mission, people my age were running around, laughng with their friends. why cant i do that? i dont wanna keep being lcked up in a room reading books, i want to play too! i dont wanna do paperwork everyday! i want to go out relax with friends.... but all im expected to do is- is- learn- win number one- ranked number one- complete missions- and not fail... i dont like this... its to heavy... the pressure is suffocating me... i-i-

I dont wanna die...

she says to the person that embraces her lovingly for the first time. her last sentence was heard to be aa quiver as she continues her quite cries which were never heard before.

Kagura always knew her as a quite yet cheerful person. she brings a big positive energy to thee who is beside her. The moment she introduced herself to him for the first time, her voice was like light that could reassure people of their path and that everythings going to be okay. But he didnt knew that the one in need of the light is the light itself.

He strokes her hair gently as If she was made of glass. And silently snuggles closer to her smaller figure... Then he lets out a soft whisper

"you've went through so much until now. I can't comfort you nor can I help, but for now the only thing i can do is be by your side. We don't talk too much and we don't interact the most, so i think this is too early, but I love you. You did a great job, you've handled so much until this second, you've carried so much until now, even if people are dissatisfied of you, just remember, i will always be proud of you, i will always support you, and i love you"

"you could rest yourself now, even just for a second. Just rest and forget all of the pressure as if it doesn't exist." He continues

"i don't want anyone to hate me- i don't want to disappoint anyone" you wanted to continue but then he says

"even if the world is against you, i will always be by your side. Promise"

----------------------------------------------------------

Everyone has their own bad side, and everyone makes mistakes, this was just a fanfic to comfort myself and also just me ranting. So this whole fanfic is probably to ooc, if u didn't like it, it's okay, if u like it then I'm glad. I don't see much Kaguraxreader fanfics, and i really need some whether in Wattpad or Tumblr or any other apps,

PLEASE FRCKING TELL ME IF YOU KNOW ANY FANFIC OF KAGURAXREADER. I AM DESPERATELY SEARCHING EVERYWHERE DAMMIT- thank you (´；ω；｀)