hhhhHHH.... 🎶 I WANT, I WANT TO BE A MACHINE / AND I WANT TO BE SHINY CHROME AND CLEAN / THERES SOMETHING, SOMETHING SOMETHING SOME / THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH MEEEEE OOH NOOOO 🎶
So amazing news, my computer just suddenly shut off and won't boot back up so that's all of my unfinished art lost once again yippie!!
Well anyway, here's a thing I've been last working on before I got very rudely interrupted
These two fuckers have been jumping around my brain for the past week nonstop someone escort them out already
Something funny because Uzi is from a planet called "Copper-9" get it? Copper nine? Copper to Nine like "[Name] to Earth, you with us"? hillarious I know
Something something Uzi is a robot that grew organic parts due to bullying and loneliness + some funky genetics stuff, while Nine is an organic guy that stapled robotic parts to himself because he was bullied due to some funky genetics stuff
I don't know how many people have said this, but Colin is hiding from technology for a reason. At first I thought it was to avoid being recorded like everyone else, but now I realized it might be something more sinister. When Colon Becher went into hiding, it was after fixing a computer, right? Maybe he say something on that computer, maybe it Showed him something. I think Colin Becher is hiding from technology because it continues to Show him something. I believe Colin is hiding from Serge Ushanka. I mean why else would he get so upset at Sam for showing his phone to Colin.
I FINALLY finished this project!! I posted the music on its own a while ago, but here it is in video form!! (I changed a few things as well)
I wanted the visuals to change with each song. It’s. Very dramatic at points.
It’s 1:19:03 long :] The tracklist is in the description, along with a few content warnings. I tried to upload the full thing to YouTube but it got blocked… so Vimeo it is.
Please give it a watch if ur interested!💕💜💚 BUT ITS LONG SO. no pressur
Thinking about how when I talked to my ex about feeling like I may not be cis, she accused me of trying to jump on a trend because her and her friends were trans. She said I just thought being trans was cool because I spent too much time on Tumblr and that I shouldn't fake it for attention.
She quizzed me on whether or not I experienced dysphoria and how I felt about my genitals. After all that she said "Well, maybe"
She said something once about being trans being unnatural and I was like, no, no it's not, it's fine. It's normal and common and has been part of humanity forever. And she argued and pretty much shouted me down until I didn't know how else to convince her that, no, she isn't a freak, actually.
She made a comment once about certain kinds of trans people (I wish I could remember exactly, may have been a microlabel like demigirl or similar) weren't 'really' trans, just wanted attention, etc. I didn't argue then, because I figured, she's trans so she must know better than I do, right?
She was also certain that nothing she did or said could be transphobic, because she was trans. I tried to argue against her because she said something unkind about another trans group and she shut me down with this.
She was so full of self-hate. She was so judgmental about other trans people and whether they were really trans enough or just faking it. She had so so much internalized transmisogyny and transphobia.
I haven't seen hair nor hide of her in many years. She left tumblr ages ago. I ghosted her shortly after she announced on her blog that she was exclusive with someone else - then was shocked when I didn't want to 'stay friends'.
I wonder about her sometimes. I hope she's doing better. I hope she's with someone who can help her learn to love herself, and her fellow queer community.
And I am pretty sure she's one of the big reasons I am so terrified to officially call myself nonbinary and update my pronouns. Cuz I'm probably just faking it for attention.
had another weird-ass dream last night and since this apparently a pattern now, there was a new rob design in it.
so it is with great honor that i now present to you all…
“robsune miku”
(my boyfriend wanted miku to be saying this lol)
he (she?) actually called himself (herself??) that in the dream. no idea how my brain came up with that or why “robsune miku” was half dragon but okay. cool. thanks brain.
she (i’m just gonna say she cuz its miku) was actually pretty cool in the dream. i think i had to fight her at some point and she became fully dragon halfway through the fight. it was super kickass and i think she killed me
drawing this also reminded me of how much i like miku! what a marvel of engineering! how far we've come since the IBM 7094! and how poetic is it that when setting out to make a digital person, humanity first gave it a voice!
I wanna draw so bad and finish all these artfight wips but I'm so mentally and physically exhausted that I just wanna bury myself in blankets and sleep 😩