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dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you · 4 years ago

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I saw in your tags that there’s some old destiel fic you like on ffn. Do you have any recs ? :)

omg I haven’t been on there in years! like last time I read anything on there was like in 2014 lmao xD

32 fics total - I just checked and all of them are still up...there’s like 30+ more that I bookmarked that isn’t on the list cuz I’m not sure if they’re destiel fics or not so I gotta re-read them

all the ones below are fics that I’ve recced before in the past

1. All Angels Need Their Wings - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 29,784 (2012)

Dean never thought that Castiel would ever return. And when he did, he came in a very unexpected way, a very horrifying way. SLASH Castiel/Dean. Wing-Kink. Takes place in season 7. AU.

2. Heart Trouble - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 74,320 (2011)

Dean's having a harder and harder time of denying what he feels for a certain blue-eyed friend of his. And it's making him a little ornery, and a lot confused.

3. It Hurts - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 29,963 (2013)

Inspired by the S9 Trailer Cas had watched the angels fall and with them, his self worth. Now human facing the challenges of navigating mortality he also tries to find a place for himself in this new world. It is a hope he has to find without the Winchesters, without Dean. So now he runs, from both Heaven, Hell and from Dean.

4. Small Problem - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 13,310 (2011)

A cursed artifact has made Castiel miniature, it's amusing for the Winchesters at first until they realize he might stay that way forever. Slash Dean/Castiel Please R&R

5 My Broken Angel - RATING: M | LENGTH: 24,999 (2010)

When Castiel disappears from his vessel, Dean is concerned. But when Castiel reappears and seems to avoid him, Dean is heartbroken. Set mid-season 5.

6. A Hand - RATING: M | LENGTH: 23,474 (2010)

Dean/Cas, multichapter, slight AU. Dean's busy trying to re-soulify his brother, but Cas needs help. Maybe it's time Dean gave it to him. Ch. 15: Dean glared indignantly. "I find the term 'lovebirds' to be offensive. We prefer to be called 'sex-falcons.'"

7. Saving Grace - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 38,602 (2010)

With everything that was going wrong in Dean's life, it took him a while to realize that the person close to him that really needed the most help was Castiel.

8. Candy - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 98,068 (2013)

The Fall from Heaven changed everything. The supernatural no longer hidden. Angels roaming the planet. Sam and Dean's immediate concerns were on a smaller scale. What do you do with the former King of Hell? Where is Castiel?... Destiel/Mute!Human!Cas/Angst!Dean

9. Dude, Dean Looks Like a Lady - RATING: M | LENGTH: 20,774 *gen/pre-slash* (2013)

Sam's good, Cas has been found, and demons everywhere seem to be on hiatus. Seems like things are looking up for Team Free Will that is until Dean wakes up with his very own vagina anyway. Warnings: Fem!Dean, Destiel, female masturbation and S8 spoilers.

10. Evil Intent, Trials of Love, & Finding My Angel - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 36,729, 70,453, & 59,941 *rape, graphic torture, violence* (2009)

Anna rapes Castiel and uses a method that torments him more than anything imaginable. WARNING: Rape and Castiel/Dean makes sense when you read it . If you don't like then don't read!

11. Cascade - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 44,626 (2013)

"And if you fall as Lucifer fell, you fall in flames!" An 8x23 coda.

12. Count The Cracks, Hear The Shatters, Feel The Insanities - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 44,626 *gen/pre-slash* (2013)

They've walked miles on gravel roads that led to hell and back but the journey never quite ends. This is the story of Castiel and the Winchesters after the angels fell from heaven. Post Season 8.

13. Damn Straight & Wait Wait Wait - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: about 21,000 (2010)

Humorous Cas/Dean, with multiple POVs. Slight AU. Fluffy. Ch. 5: Sam sat in the Impala in the motel parking lot, praying that three and a half hours at the library had been long enough.

14. Entertaining Angels - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 43,659 *gen/pre-slash* (2008)

A strange boy shows up at Dean and Sam’s motel room. Maybe he needs help, or maybe he’s there to help them—they can’t quite tell. Spoilers through 4.10. Not an OC.

15. Happy Friggin’ Valentine’s Day - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 22,771 (2010)

SLASH. It all started with Dean's perfectly healthy hatred of frivilous holidays and a much-coveted sack of dust. Poor Castiel doesn't fully understand 'romance' to begin with, and this crash course is most unwelcome.

16. I’m Just a Love Machine - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 29,200 (2011)

The Impala finally gets the chance to love Dean back. The problem is, Castiel seems to be in its way.

17. It’s The Great Destiel Shipper, Sam Winchester - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 49,641 (2012)

What's Sam really doing all that time on the computer? Fangirling. Over Chuck's Supernatural books. Now Wincest might be a bit too much to deal with, but Destiel he might be able to get on board with... Especially after being around the two people involved for three days straight.

18. Pain in the Head - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 78,771 *character death* (2011)

It started out slow. "Since when do angels have headaches?" "Since they become human." Established Dean/Cas. Sort of AU. PG-13. Complete.

19. Sleep in Heavenly Peace - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 45,517 *christmas fic* (2013)

Dean wants to have a nice, peaceful Christmas for once, but it seems like the universe won't let him. Dean/Castiel. Post-8.08 (Hunteri Heroici) AU. First in "Holidays With the Winchesters are Always Fun."

20. The Shattered One - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 94,021 *grace mpreg* (2012)

When it struck Castiel, it dropped him out of the sky. He set down the first place he could find. He stood in a field in Switzerland, swaying on his feet and staring down at his body, dazed by what it had just done.

21. This Cupid Isn’t Stupid - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 41,572 (2012)

Dean receives a shock when he wakes up to discover Castiel has returned. Why is the angel suddenly back? Why have his powers dimmed? And.. Why are he and Dean joined together by an invisible rope!

22. Wild Horses, Cas - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 23,505 (2013)

(S8 Spoilers (story is set in S9), Sickfic! Destiel, Minor Sabriel). When Cas comes down with a bad case of Pneumonia it leaves Dean feeling more protective over his friend than ever, but will it also lead to Dean's admittance of his feelings towards his friend?

23. Wrong - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 51,384 (2010)

Angels are not supposed to drop out of the sky into motel rooms, broken and beaten. They're not supposed to bleed like that. It was all wrong.

24. The Reluctant Contestant - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 50,502 (2012)

AU When Gabriel is hired as a new host for a dating show, Cas has no choice but to follow his brother along as part of the camera crew. Forced at the last minute to be a contestant, he is shocked when Dean Winchester continually refuses to eliminate him.

25. The Ugly Duckling - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 81,676 (2012)

Castiel: a nerdy, skinny thing with a crush on the the most popular guy in class. Being unpopular isn't easy and it's worse when the homophobic school figures him out. A small struggle to be noticed by his crush is turned into a huge struggle for himself and his dignity. But bullying can get the better of anyone. Slash. Destiel rated M for later chapters.

26. Nameless - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 77,882 (2013)

AU. Everyone has the name of their soulmate written on their wrist at birth. Well, everyone except Dean Winchester. Complete.

27. Cufflinks - RATING: M | LENGTH: 61,845 (2012)

The world is full of creatures that prey on humans. It is up to 'Hunters' to fight against the dark. Lucky Hunters rely on the help of angels they have bound to their service. Sam and Dean may be good Hunters, but they have yet to capture an angel. One day, Sam finds an angel and seizes the opportunity to bind the angel to himself. Little did they know what they were getting into.

28. Angel Training - RATING: M | LENGTH: 95,700, Angel Training 2: Save Us - RATING: M | LENGTH: 76,888, & Angel Training 3: Uprising - RATING: M | LENGTH: 89,512 (2011)

In a world where angels are common and the most privileged or skilled people are able to own one; the world's angelic hierarchy is about to change when Dean Winchester receives a wild and recently caught angel.

29. Chasing Your Shadow - RATING: M | LENGTH: 92,077 (2012)

The prophecy says that when Castiel turns twenty-three winters old, a stranger will come into his life and bring a lot of suffering. But do prophecies always come true? Demon Dean/human Castiel AU

30. The Holiday - RATING: M | LENGTH: 32,088 (2011)

Castiel and Sam are unlucky in both life and love, so they swap houses for the holidays. Both find the experience highly...interesting. Dean/Castiel Sam/Gabriel

31. And In Your Arms I Shall Find Shelter- RATING: M | LENGTH: 33,824 (2012)

Dean Winchester is a long forgotten painter who suddenly receives an order for a painting from a rich man - Crowley. He is about to start painting when Castiel - his personal reaper visits him. The main question is: Will Castiel give Dean enough time to finish the painting?

32. Jar of Hearts - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 127,192 (2013)

February being the supposed 'month of love' people seem to forget that it's also one of the coldest times of the year. Valentine's Day themed events in a cafe turned bar is how Dean managed the courage to speak to the locally famous singer and somehow score a date, a relationship, and a man he didn't deserve out of the deal. Destiel college/uniAU some Sabriel

#ask me stuff #my fic recs #destiel #spn fanfic #Anonymous

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #327

starting to run outta steam... haha.

What design is on your shower curtain? It doesn't have one. Did you get in trouble for cussing on accident when you were a kid? Ha ha yeah, for yelling "HOLY SHIT!" once, lmao. Ever made a snow angel? Yeah. Do you laugh at racial jokes? Absolutley not. What’s the highest you can count in a different language? 999, in German. How’s your flirting skills? I wouldn't know, ask those I've flirted with. Have you ever cried over a breakup? For a whole year and then some. I still have episodes. What does your dream life look like? Living isolated in the woods by a river and waterfall with a fantastic spouse, me being a very successful photographer and at least somewhat above *just* financially "stable," maybe having at least one poem published, lots of pets (mostly snakes), plenty of travel opportunities (mostly for photography), being free of my social anxiety and actually being reasonably confident, back in great physical shape... I'm really daydreaming now. What’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t? bleh Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube, back when it was a much more social platform. Do you enjoy wine? No, it's way too bitter. What did you last ask your parents permission for? I asked Mom if I could snack on some chocolate chips she was saving for fudge (since Christmastime...). She was fine with it. Periods are fun. Do you get annoyed when you hear babies crying? I shouldn't, but I do. Me and babies just don't mix. Why were you in a waiting room the last time? I was at a doctor's appointment. What’s your lawyer’s name? I don’t have one. Do you own a lot of scarves? I don't think I own any... Would you ever get a face tattoo? I doubt it, but maybe something very small and subtle. Are your expecting anything in the mail? No. What would you like to see out of your window everyday instead of what you see now? Nature. The woods. Would you rather have a house exterior made from wood, brick, or stucco? Aesthetically, wood, but I don't support the continuation of wood housing in a society where we have many other options that don't harm the environment as much. So, realistically, brick. What is your favorite breakfast? Cinnamon rolls. Do you own a diamond ring? No. Have you ever stripped? No. Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? IT with Girt. Whose house did you last sleep over at? Sara's. Yes or no: foreplay? Lmao who the fuck does it w/o foreplay first. Would you ever record you having sex? No fucking way. Something nobody’d ever guess about you? I used to be in great shape. Would you like to be a journalist? I actually wouldn't mind it. It was almost my minor the last time I was in college, actually, but the required courses were a no-no for me. Last year for school, we had an assignment where we had to choose a popular song to write a story based on. What song would you’ve picked? I don't know popular songs, so I'm picking any song. Off the top of my head, given my love for dark and morbid shit, maybe "Voyeur" by Otep. That song is messed up as fuck. No, it's actually not about sex, 'cuz I ain't interested in writing about that. Did the vacuum scare you as a child? I don't think it did. Do you have a long driveway? No, it's actually very short. Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Oh yes. Are you friends with anyone missing one of their five senses? Not to my knowledge. Are you good at Pac Man? I'm no better than anyone else. Do you have an embarrassing period story? If so, what is it? No. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication? No. Do you prefer tampons or pads? Tampons. Pads are mega uncomf. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty? I don't know, actually. What stereotype do you fit the most? Geek, maybe? Emo? Idk. If you’re a worshipper, how do you worship? I don't worship anything. What’s your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Do you have a lot of people blocked on Facebook? Not a lot, no. Does your father have facial hair? Yes. Have you ever had a hamster? Yeah, we went through a few. All of 'em were evil. Grape or strawberry jelly? Absolutely grape. What language would you most like to know fluently? German. Do you remember the last song you slow danced to? "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin. Do you plan on having alcohol at your wedding? I don't know. Do you have an idea of who you might kiss next? I know who I WANT to kiss next, but that doesn't mean it'll happen. I hate psychic questions. Who’s the most controlling person you know? She's not in my life anymore. Do you own a microphone? No. Do you enjoy trailers at the cinema? I do. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. A centipede, to name one. I've gotten more into the idea of owning invertebrates, and centipedes are in that hobby, but they creep me the fuck out. They're cool to watch, but I don't want one in my house. Do you have a picture of you throwing up the peace sign? Yeah, it's actually one of my favorite pictures of me without makeup. Has a very "me" vibe. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? Ha, yeah. Can you tell the difference between a Scottish and an Irish accent? Nope. Can you read music? Probably not anymore. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. What is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating? Finding Dory takes the cake. What is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “That book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)? If you compliment my Markiplier tattoo because you get it, we are immediately family. Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? Ozzkat. I use it essentially everywhere. Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? HA, way more than once. Hyperfixation is a friend of mine. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? C U T E ! ! ! What are your thoughts on mini-skirts or mini-dresses? ALSO C U T E ! ! ! Have you ever died in one of your dreams? Yes. What appliance in your kitchen do you use the most often? The microwave. Do you use Skype to talk to your friends? Sara, yes. And Sam once in a blue moon if we're playing WoW together. Are you allergic to any animals? No. Have you ever had to go to the police department? No. Have you ever been called bipolar? Well yes, because I am. Have you ever made fun of a handicapped person? Hell no, and fuck you if you ever have. If a necklace/ring gives you green marks, do you still wear it? No. Have you ever had food poisoning? I don't think so, no. Favorite emoticon? Probably c: Do any emoticons annoy you? No, but an excessive amount of them I find disruptive to whatever I'm reading. Do you think there will be a WWIII? Yup, someday. Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? Yeah, back in high school. The most interesting thing that’s ever happened to you at a grocery store? I dunno. Probably running into someone unexpected. Do you have any good book ideas? Having written RP since I was 10 years old... I could by now write a dozen dictionary-sized novels encompassing what I think are the greatest storylines. I genuinely do believe there's some fantastic stuff we've got, but there's just too many horribly dark and twisted parts in the evil mobs that I am not comfortable publishing. Are you gonna see Cars 2? Well, this is old. I never even saw the first one. In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Yep. *points at Weed from GDW* Have you ever posted a video onto YouTube? Yeah, mostly "meerkat music videos," I guess you could say. Some tributes to certain MM characters, others just music with meerkat clips. How often do you compliment other people? I try to any time I have a sincere one. I am very much for complimenting people openly and often. The Legend of Zelda series: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I'm not a fan of the franchise, honestly. Never got the hype. Do you even game at all? Most certainly, but not nearly as much as I used to... You can only replay old games but so many times before you just can't anymore. And the "newest" console I have is the original Wii, so... I definitely don't have the modern equipment. Would you give Zumba dance lessons a try if presented the opportunity? Probably not. Definitely not while my legs are in such bad shape; the dancing is pretty intense and would seriously hurt. I could easily imagine myself fainting. Do you own a rosary? No, but I did in my Catholic-raised childhood. Do you like Adult Swim? No. Sorry excuses for humor everywhere. What’s the first thing you do when you get on the computer? Do a quick check on KM just to ensure everything's in order. What’s one thing that you just wish you could do all of your life? Not have to pay bills, haha. If someone asks for your honest opinion, do you give it? Yes, if they emphasize they really want honesty. When was the last time you felt uninformed or out of the loop? Apparently some politician (I think) died recently and people practically rejoiced on Facebook. I knew zip about him. When in a car, where do you like to sit? Passenger seat/shotgun. Have you ever fought with a good friend over something completely stupid? Oh, absolutely. There have been plenty of RP-related arguments with multiple people... In the big picture, it's laughable to fight over a game, but when you're so invested in your own creations, in the moment, it can seem like a big issue. Those drama days are long behind me now. Would you ever visit a third-world country? I don't think so, no. It would shatter my heart, especially seeing children in poverty. Are you the type that’s too ashamed to ask for or use directions? No. You overhear two people gossiping about you; what do you do? Probably call over something like, "I'm not deaf, you know." I highly doubt I'd sit there with my mouth shut. Have you ever felt manipulated? Yes. If you were homeless, how would you cope? If I was truly, entirely homeless, quite honestly, I'm almost positive I'd kill myself. Have you ever done something just to fit in? Yeah. When was the last time you tried to impress someone, for whatever reason? I'm not sure, but I've certainly done it at one point or another. Do you think that the world could function in a state of anarchy? Definitely not. How well do you know your U.S. [or your country’s] history? I mean, I know the bare bones of it, but I'm far from well-versed in history. It was one of my weak subjects in school. Would you ever wish to move to another country? I'm not kidding when I say if it weren't for family, I would probably move to Canada. What is something that you do that others might consider “nerdy”? The way I write, particularly for academic purposes. I'm very descriptive and have an exceptionally large vocabulary. Have you ever had anything expensive stolen from you? Not from me specifically, but our basketball hoop was stolen from my childhood home. I doubt it was very cheap. Do you understand/notice when someone’s using sarcasm? Usually, anyway. When was the last time you were fooled? HAHA there was this drama video suggested to me on YouTube that involved Mark in the title, and I was mega confused and inevitably clicked. Now it's basically a YouTube meme just how "perfect" Mark is, so there was no real drama; apparently some newer fans are just upset at him for playing the sequel to HuniePop, a very sexual puzzle/dating game that's honestly entertaining and can be really funny. Like... he's played the original and despite the discomfort of some scenes (which are censored, mind you), he still had fun, and it was a big hit on his channel. So him playing the sequel isn't surprising, but apparently some people got shit to say. What first Impression do you hope you make with other people? Something along the lines of "wow, she's very nice." Have you ever thought about how you make other people feel/think? Well of course. I think everyone should take time to consider this. What is your stance on getting revenge? A petty waste of time. Any wise/truthful/witty quotes that you live by? Ha, another Mark answer. He once gave the casual innuendo of, "Life's hard; shouldn't you be, too?" (this might have actually been in a HuniePop video!), but when you take the... uh... sexual theme out of it, it's a good way to look at life???? Have tough skin, unmoving willpower, y'know, that stuff. Who was the last person you sat beside at a restaurant? My sister Ashley. Spongebob or Patrick? Patrick is a whole-ass mood. Would you rather watch little kid’s cartoons, older kid’s cartoons, or adult cartoons? Hm. Probably little kid's, given my love for Pokemon. How about watching regular cartoons or anime? Anime. Who is the last person you spent money on? Myself. Do you own a copy of Roller Coaster Tycoon? No; I had SeaWold Tycoon instead. I loved that game. Do you have any birth marks in embarrassing places? No. Have you used Limewire before? Of course. Free music for the low price of a catastrophic virus. :^) When was the last time you required a band-aid? I think when I cut one of my toenails way too short. Are you afraid of snakes? Oh no! I adore them so, so very much. Not saying I'm gonna go scoop up the first copperhead I find herping or something, but I love and respect them so very much. They are such fascinating animals. If you believe in reincarnation, what animal would you want to become? I don't think I believe in reincarnation, but hypothetically, maybe a lioness. Who do you tell everything to? Pretty much whoever reads these surveys, haha. Did you have candles on your birthday cake? Not my most recent one. Exactly, how old are you? I just turned 25 years and one month old. Have you ever been bitten by anything? Besides bugs, I don't think so. I've had cats and dogs playfight with me, but none have ever seriously bitten me with actual effort. Do you wear hats? No. What was the last song you sang along to? "Lunchbox" by Marilyn Manson. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years time? I'd like to be, but idk if it's realistic.

#survey #surveys #questions

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i-rove-rock-n-roll · 6 years ago

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Eden (cause rn there is no better title) Just some writing I felt like sharin.

He dreamt that he was back in prison, the blue walls suffocating, even as he lay in his cell, staring at the ceiling, they closed in on him. A murmur came from the hallway.

“Which prisoner is this?”

“How the hell should I know? All the same to me the damn punks.”

“I think this one's that Southern one. That one with the accent.” The other made a noise of assent and through half closed eyes, Gram saw the guard peer at him through the bars.

“Who cares?” the other guard said, disinterested.

The dream changed to nighttime, and he heard the panting nearby stop abruptly. A shovel was thrown up beside him, as Gram continued to lay, now pressed against the ground rather than the bunk.

“C’mon, Charlie, we gotta get him in the ground.”

“Why do we gotta do it?” The other man, presumably Charlie, whined. Gram felt them pick up his body, lugging it over to the grave, as his mind swirled in a fog not unlike the one surrounding them.

“Bastards got no family. No one to claim ‘im. No one to give a shit, so we get stuck with him.” They dropped Gram into the hole, none too gently, but he felt nothing, staring vacantly at the two men above him.

“Grab a shovel, bud. Get this over with.”

And the dirt covered him.

He awoke in the darkness, unable to breathe, his arms crossed over his chest. Choking on the dirt, he clawed upwards, blindly trying to get out. Finally, Gram’s hand broke out into the air, and he drug his body out.

“Who…” he gasped, “..am I? Fuckin’...Uma Thurman?”

He shivered, taking in his surroundings. The prison yard was gone, the ugly brick building no longer in sight. In fact, the only thing he could see were trees, strangely tall, in a way that made all others look like saplings. The leaves rustled, and the dark fog gleamed as an animal leapt out, followed by another, and another. Men followed, clutching leashes, but they weren’t quite right, each with grotesque faces, their eyes flashing with malice. The dogs smiled with them in unison, all with teeth sharp and hungry growls. It wasn’t hard to guess the goal of the game they wanted to play. Stumbling, Gram began to run. The trees blurred as he ran, even as his chest burned, reminding him of his lack of exercise, he moved. His legs pumped, barely slowing as he hit the river, drenching his knees with an icy rush. Gram stopped, waiting for them to follow. The not-men did not call to their beasts, but an eerie noise followed from the other side of the river. A horn sounded, followed by something dimly resembling a search light, and Gram took off again, lungs empty.

He collapsed once he reached a small clearing, the same one that contained his gravestone. He was back where he started.

Attempting to get his raspy wheezing under control, he leaned against the stone, staring at the clearly cut letters.

Jonathan Denvers. He blinked, the letters shifting. Ingram Niesler. He blinked again and watched the stone crumble.

The clearing was surrounded.

A figure stepped forward, tall and with blank eyes. The dogs at Gram’s back made no move, but growled softly before the figure’s swiveling head quieted it. Its eyes were like glass, seeing something he couldn’t.

“We have a job for him,” hissed a voice from behind, and Gram jumped. The leader of the not-man stopped a foot away, as if unwilling or unable to come closer. The others holding the beasts shifted in agreement, though none stepped up, even as the not-dogs thrashed against the leashes with incredible strength.

“As do we,” said the being with the glass eyes. “I don’t suppose you could wait your turn?” they asked mildly, ignoring the snarl they received in return.

“I don’t even know who you guys are, so I ain’t doin’ shit.” Gram was painfully aware of how high his voice had jumped up. Both pairs of eyes, clear and gleaming, glanced at him, like he were some sort of minor inconvenience.

“You don’t have a choice, Jonathan Denvers.”

“My name is Gram.” He wanted to scream, but his words came out in a squeak. “Not Jonathan,” his voice was stronger now. “Ingram.”

“You are Jonathan, Jehovah’s gift. And you will do as you are told.” The being twitched irritably and the not-man cackled at the look on Gram’s face.

“Feisty, this one. I like him.” The being slung an arm over his shoulder, cold fingers crawling against his skin. The other tensed even more than Gram. He couldn’t pull away. “Listen, kid, can I call you kid? Anyway--”

“Whatever it is, it ain’t happening.”

“Just hear me out, kid, I got a deal--” Gram snorted and the glass eyed figure seemed to smirk for a moment before becoming impassive again.

“Let me guess, I’ll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, cause I think I’m better than you? Well, I ain’t Johnny, bitch, so scram.” His courage didn’t leave, even when the face twisted and the nails made pierce his throat. The glass eyed being moved in an instant, somehow, and had the figure down on its knees, a sword pressed against their Adam’s apple. The apple quivered as they laughed silently, eyes glued to the hard face above them.

“Still got it, don’t you, Mike? I think you’re a few feathers short though--urk!” Came the choke as the blade dug deeper into the not-man’s neck, as the being now known as Mike narrowed its eyes. Somehow, and he had absolutely no idea how, Gram had been so distracted by the appearance of the sword that he missed the enormous wings spreading outward, looking very much like a large, threatening bird, but with some gaps in his feathers. Gram swallowed and.began to inch away.

“This has been fun, but I think I’m gonna go home, now…”

“Oh, kid,” came the amused sigh from the being still on its knees. “You can’t go until we let you.” The glass eyed Mike blinked before Gram’s eyes, reappearing only a few inches away. Gram flinched, unable to see anything but the swirling emptiness in the eyes before him.

“Three days, Jonathan. Nicole had her chance, now it’s yours.”

The gleaming eyed being stood up, rubbing its throat loosely.

“Think on it, Johnny. You only got eternity left if you fail.”

“What are you talking about?” Gram blinked, confused.

“Cleaning up the town. That’s what your little cuz thinks she’s doing. Doing a better job than half my..well, I can’t really call them people, but still.” the being waved a hand dismissively.

“Think of it as a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah.” Mike suggested.

The figure rolled its eyes, waggling a finger in Gram’s direction. “If you don’t behave Uncle Sammy won’t give you your present.”

“I’ve never been one much for surprises.”

“I know.” The figure rolled its eyes. “Made you such a boring child.”

“I thought your name was Lucifer, anyway.”

“Newsflash, once upon a time I had a different name.” The Devil gave Gram a pointed look. “Sam was my name just as much a Lucifer is now, Jonathan.” Gram opened his mouth, but he held up a hand. “Don’t get so riled. I’m proving a point.”

“A pretty shitty one.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t do any research before picking your name?” Mike said dryly. “Of all the names you could have chosen for yourself, you chose an old Norse name.”

Gram blinked. “Is it? I just liked the sound of it.”

“It means ‘Ing’s raven’. Or ‘raven of peace’. Whichever sounds catchier.”

“You’re like a walking dictionary.”

“No, I just know how to use google.” Gram huffed, muttering something about prison and piece of crap computers. “Why go by Gram? I mean, spelling wise, didn’t that get you into trouble with paperwork?”

“Graham is a type of cracker, and Gram is shorter.”

“I can tell literally no difference when you speak.”

“That’s cause you’re a da--” Lucifer’s eyes flashed.

“Watch your mouth, kid.”

“Geez, jus’ like the swear jar at home.” Now the Devil’s eyes rolled in response, temper forgotten.

“To get back on topic, I did not choose my name by coincidence.” It drummed its fingers briefly. “The name Lucifer means light bringer. Even as Samael I brought this light to you people, yet I also doled out what everyone feared. The Wrath of God.” Their lips quirked in a humorless smile. “I was not a fluffy little cherub with a harp. None of us--them--” They jerked a thumb towards the army of angels not five feet away. “I mean, are.”

“Depending on who you talk to,” Mike said slowly. “Ravens are symbols of good, or of evil. No one gives a shit about where it actually came from anymore, just like they forget my origins and Sammy’s.” Their lips quirked in a humorless smile. “Definitions are tricky bastards, each language you people make creates new ideas and problems.”

“Are you guys going anywhere with this?” Gram’s head was spinning, but he refused to sit down. “I’d like to be up in time to get some breakfast before Uncle Lou eats it all.”

“The point, Ingram, is this: You may bear the name, raven of peace, but what side is the raven on? Peace is subjective. What one considers Heaven another considers Hell, as the twerps in your little town have already decided.”

Gram remembered the car ride with his parole officer, and the low whistle that accompanied the impressed statement.

“Looks like Eden.” He remembered his own words, half serious, half inside joke,

“Well, we call it Hell.”

“You humans have limited concepts.” The Devil said, eyes twinkling with amusement.

“That’s the way language works. Try goin’ to Spain and see if they treat you any different.” Gram paused. “What do I call you two? Ma’am? Sir? Captain?” Now it was Mike--Michael-- Gram knew, that rolled their eyes.

“You don’t need to call me anything. Just do your fuckin’ job.”

“Was that a Friday After Next quote?”

“I plead the fifth.”

“Never thought I’d meet an angel with a sense of humor.”

“Archangel.”

“Or an inferiority complex.”

“Comes with the territory, Jonathan Ingram.” The archangel answered briskly, rolling their eyes with the Devil laughed. “Now, wake up”

#writing #my writing #angels #demons #religion #one hell of a drwam

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