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chococats · 10 months ago

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muv luv alternative reflect

start date: 2/12/24

end date: 4/14/24

~~~ spoilers 👻 ~~~

first thought on the story: before i even started i was so ready like i told everyone n their mamas abt how i was going to start this epic 😐. i was expecting A LOT bc not only is it regarded so highly by vn fans but also bc it left me with a slew of questions from the first game.. likee what was the relation of kasumi and sumika? was takeru going to fr survive this n if he DID is he going to go back to his original world? WHAT made him shift into this fucket up world in the first place? WHAT exactly are the BETA and why are they doing thissss😭😭 AND! IS takeru destined to suffer forever? Why?!

But now that ive finished it all.. wtf 😭 its honestly genius. a narrative that uses its medium and genre in the fullest sense!!! despite some of its outdatedness + my frustration with the protag the STORY TELLING is what kept me going. from the themes to the characters to the world building it was all so well done 😭 and its done in a way where it is satisfying to follow especially if you like to puzzle n piece things together. what interested me the most tho was the world building!! AND HOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE.. the game took all of the cliches and mechanics it represented as a dating sim n flipped them all in its favor to tell a crazy epic cohesive multi dimensional scifi tale.. WTF.

as a novel and a game it did its job beautifully.. AND even tho SOME arcs PISSED ME OFF n SOME scenes left me scowling at what i was dealing with (bc My god,! You will deal with the shit!) i kept coming back with genuine intrigue humm

my first initial thought once i was done was 'that was a LOT' bc My goodness what a fckin rollercoaster.. ONE that seemed to only plummet DOWN. As for my second thought..? 'at least we overcame.' and u know what. So true. To this i say Congratulations âge. I was unfamiliar with ur game.

prediction of the end: i honestly did not know what to expect for the end i just wanted my questions answered LOL! but when i got there it left me feeling both hollow and full.. it was heartbreaking..! BUT also cathartic?! cuz i cried like a bitch. bc. My gosh 😭😭😭😭😭😭 its some serious whiplash stored in those last 2ish hours in the game. it was worth seeing all of it tie together tho bc in the end it left u with a glimmer of hope for the future.. even though it is so so dim, its still there.. which was the kind of ending i need during these times

PLUS they played this song at the end like why would u do that. shit had me bawling fr. we used to be so happy hearing this. now it is a bit bittersweet and nostalgic.. like a memory

what scared you most: the capabilities of the BETA most definitely r u kidding me. every single battle seemed more n more hopeless 😭 every step that was taken to help humanity had high stakes. there was no way anything was going to be done without irreparable damage n loss. it constantly felt like a losing battle watching humanity try to survive and still have the heart to fight. but what TRULY disturbed me was sumikas relationship with the BETA and how they decided to tackle it. THAT shit had me pause the game for a hot min bcuz seriously? HONESTLY? it was overkill. beating a dead horse😭 they did not have to show me all of that N whats worse is that they HAD to drag it out. LIKE WE GET IT. WE GOT IT BEFORE IT WAS EVEN FULLY REVEALED WITH CONTEXT CLUES.. U did not have to dedicate a whole 30/45 mins revisiting her trauma in such detail 😭😭😭 so unnecessary my god.

even though the BETA are (by far) one of the most terrifying enemies that ive encountered in a story i want to know more about them.. the ending of alternative mightve answered most of my questions but it also left me having more bc its interesting on how the BETA operate. but there is also like an infinite amount of them i dont even know how anyon could keep up with that.. truly humanity has it BAD.

favorite character(s): meiya = sumika > kasumi = yuuko > ayamine >>>> the rest of the queens in the valkyrie squad (including marimo. excluding kashiwagi) >> tsukoyomi > takeru >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> kashiwagi.

i straight up i do not like kashiwagi LMFAOOO like i do not like her yall..

anyone else not listed i just didnt gaf..

meiya and kasumi rlly shined in alternative for me tho <3

of course so did sumika but thats bcuz i was always biased towards her LOL. however she didnt leave a huge impression on me in this story when it came to the romance between her n takeru which is crazy bc in extra i was full #teamsumika. cuz takeru n sumika been living side by side since childhood n now this random girl (meiya) shows up n she doesnt even explain her relation to takeru but she declared that shes going to marry him like fr who are u?! BUT! even tho i was team sumika, in the end (when truths were fully revealed), my feelings were a bit swayed towards meiyas favor!

its interesting bc in alternative it was like meiya n sumika switched places bc i was more partial to wanting meiya to be with takeru for the majority of the story (!) which is so funny considering how ride n die i was for sumika at the very beginning.. of course id rather have takeru have no baes at all bcuz his character is just so inconceivably dense at times (#TakeruOUT) but i felt that their relationship had more sustenance.. i believe its because meiya and sumika flipped roles where sumika is now the random 'newcomer' instead of meiya. n also bc i spent more time with meiya in unlimited.. BUT just like how i was with meiya in extra, in alternative when truths were once again revealed at the end my feelings were swayed towards sumikas favor LMFAOO

its just tht they are both so well written and humane and so so sweet and deserving. i really love them both therefore i have decided that there is no more #TEAMSUMIKA or #TEAMMEIYA anymore. ive ended the civil war. they are both equally beautiful and i want them to be best friends forever!

AS for the protagonist. Takeru. my god man 😭 talk about change. he STILL was so ridiculous at times but even then he STILL managed to mature. proof that anythings possible. I guess. And after spending over like 60 smthing hours with him n experiencing his crazy ass situation i have been able to witness and appreciate his growth ... U know what takeru. U alright............................... I guess

favorite quote: I dont even know if i have a favorite quote there was so much covered and so many great quotes in this.. if i HAD to pick tho its probably this awesome reminder:

instead of memorizing quotes im thinking of moments.. like when kasumi and sumika speak about their connection.. or when captain isumi gave takeru that pep talk before operation 21st.. OR WHEN sumika told takeru that in every universe she loves him and him saying that he feels likewise.. kyaa.. and u KNOW they MEANT THAT SHIT THRU AND THRU! its beautiful. im still praying for her tho.

rating for the whole book: despite all that it put me through this story left me a lot of food for thought. some moments moved me in ways so honest that it left me speechless while also giving me questions in its wake.. it took me a while to finish bc it had me stop n think about life and CHOICE multiple times in the realest sense omfg. it had me think of the serious unruliness of life n how do we navigate it when the universe decides to do whatverr the fuck it wants to do.. how much of our fate can we really control... AND when all seems hopeless how do we manage to find the will to continue on.. !? it all varies from person to person but ist deep shit. Very inspiring.. AND bc of how satisfying n thought provoking it was im giving it a 5/5. OKAYY

i def plan on revisiting the trilogy in the future and see if my first thoughts still ring true.. i also will be on the look out for details and hints when i comb thru it all again. but this first read was worth it and now that i finished i kinda feel empty LMFAO. i wish for more people to read it n talk about it so i can get on my soapbox n pick it apart. 🤦‍♂️

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#l #r #muv luv

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mal-lunar-28 · 2 years ago

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Everything about kissing Minho was brought back in this part. I don’t remember clearly what was all about in the first part so I have to re-read it. Obviously, there’s still this big elephant in the room. I’m sensing that while it is clear as a day Minho is in love with her, Hyunjin is as much. But everything falls again in the MC, is like she doesn’t know what she really wants, or at least she hasn’t realized just yet, but if I have to guess is not Min (sorry baby), her attention is the whole smut scene wasn’t in him, and it breaks my heart a little to much.

In case they three decide to go for the sharing, open/poly relationship or whatever they wanna call it, they have to weigh down the pros and cons, cuz there’s a jealousy between they two men, their eyes and certain rivalry is not as palpable but when given the right context it appears. That’s what I feel cuz clearly this MC was not made to be likable, and it’s not a very reliable narrator, her feelings are not clear and even if they were, she doesn’t really state them in none of her inner turmoils like she’s only thinking with her pussy; she wants to have her cake and eat it too.

If she has to choose between one of them, more like is one of them is willing to give up on her it has to be Min, no because he doesn’t deserve her but because he deserves more in this story, we have seen him for two chapters in a row that he’s the one who’s putting himself out there and MC is not giving as half a dime as him. The whole scene where he stay at her place and cook for her? And even talking to Hyunjin before her? Like I get him, what if she’s only saying she’s going to talk to Hyunjin after work but she doesn’t and tries to continue behind his back? That’s how I see it. It’s evidently that me as a reader, I am so so confused about the whole thing, maybe I have to read everything against between the lines and see if there’s something I’m missing??? And the whole “you owe me 20 bucks” what’s that about???!!! I’m getting really heated in here, like I want to know if you’re gonna leave like that and then I have to die of pure curiosity not knowing how you crafted all of this???? I feel bad not knowing what’s going inside the heads of all of them, like in the first part Minho’s monologue was a little more reliable than this but maybe it’s just me not remembering everything 🧍🏻‍♀️

Anyway, I like your writing and obviously I’m having real mixed feelings here and a whole mental breakdown just because of this update, I’m so sorry author 😭😭 I’m just trying to break everything here for me to get the MC but i don’t 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ that means that your writing really left me trying to nitpick every single detail and just engrave into my brain and I like it very much, sorry for this long-ass review that doesn’t make any sense but I had to 😭😭😭

Me after reading this:

Catch 22

LMH, HHJ

Masterlist

wc: 5.3k

Synopsis: You hurt him so good, Minho doesn't know what he loves more, you or the pain. Part 2 to Water, but could be read as a stand alone.

warnings: smut, explicit sexual content, servicetop!minho, dom!hyunjin, switch!reader, threesome, oral (m and f receiving), cum eating, piv, cream pie, porn with barely any plot, angstyyyyy, moody little snuggles.

A/N: the part 2 probably like 3 people asked for!! Also to celebrate 2,000 followers!! hooray!! thanks for supporting this silly little blog and my silly little works, it's such a fun hobby for me and I'm grateful for everyone that interacts with me or even just silently supports me! enjoy!

Minho knew his way around your apartment too well. He flowed about the place like it was his own. You would know because when you aren’t at home that’s where you’re at. But not with Minho, instead with his roommate, Hyunjin, and it absolutely kills him inside. So he hides in your kitchen, in your bedroom, your living room, wherever you are that Hyunjin isn’t.

He’d been camped out on your couch for the past two nights, made breakfast with whatever he could find before you left for work. It was painfully domestic, hitting much too close to home that it almost made you sick.

Hiding Minho from Hyunjin when you were just friends was easy, if you got caught it wasn’t such a big deal because it was just sex. Now, you were clawing your eyes out at the thought of seeing your boyfriend-that-isn’t-your-boyfriend when his roommate/your mortal enemy confessed his love for you and was living on your sofa.

Nauseous. You feel nauseous.

Smelling the pancakes Minho was cooking made you dry heave when you stepped into the hallway, already dressed for work. Hearing your footsteps, he peaked over his shoulder to greet you. “Morning, beautiful. Hungry?”

“Not really.” Hurriedly you packed your things and hoped that the smell of syrup would leave your nose soon before you really did hurl.

You knew it wasn’t the food’s fault because your stomach gurgled, but no matter what you ate it wouldn’t have stayed down. It was Minho and his incredibly big presence. This wasn’t the Minho you knew. There hasn’t been a single threat tossed your way, no means to poke fun or even remotely tease you, he’d been nothing but disgustingly pleasant.

“Listen,” you said, voice flat. “You need to go home.”

“So I can see you making out with your boyfriend? Ha, no thanks. I’ll stay here.” Minho replied, tossing the frying pan into the sink and leaning against the kitchen counter. From your angle, he looked sexy. Plain white shirt and a pair of boxers while the morning light poured in from the window behind him made Minho seem somewhat… angelic?

Sighing while you slipped on your shoes, “Hyunjin isn’t my–”

“Fucking labels, I don’t care. I’m already sleeping on the couch and haven’t tried to touch you since. Just go, I’ll be here when you get back.” Not an ounce of anger in his tone, only exhaustion.

The tension in your apartment had been thick ever since he came knocking on your door. After the two of you had sex and you’d seen the texts from your pretty, pretty blonde situationship, you regretted every decision you’d ever made up until that point. Minho came out of the shower to find you pacing around the living room in and making a wreck of yourself. He’d tried to easy your worrying, holding you until you stopped shaking and the crying ceased but it didn’t help. You’d left and stayed out to clear your head until morning only to find your entire house spotless and french toast waiting for you on the table. It was never your intention for him to stay, he just did.

“I’m going to tell him.” His head instantly shot up, concern and worry lacing his features.

“Why? Does he need to know?” Minho was quick to rush from the kitchen to where you were standing by the door.

“He does, and I need to tell him. It’s eating me up inside.”

“Okay, but we didn’t do anything wrong, you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re not dating and–”

“It doesn’t matter. He’s my best friend,” slinging your bag over your shoulder, you prepared to walk out when Minho took another step closer.

“And what am I?”

There it was, the question you’d been waiting to slip from his mouth for two whole days. The tone of which he spoke was teetering on the brink of broken, volume soft but his eyes boring into your making it feel super sonic. It didn’t seem like he was going to cry but there was something stewing behind his irises. You couldn’t stop the exasperated sigh from leaving your mouth, coming out a bit stronger than you meant to.

It was obvious what he wanted you to say. You knew he wanted you to tell him he’s everything to you because you’re everything to him, that without him you wouldn’t know how to breathe, that if you’d lost him you’d fall apart.

And your heart ached that you couldn’t.

“You’re Minho. You’re… my Minho.” He let out a small but shaky breath, lips parting in slight disappointment but even more relief. The words weren’t nearly what he’d imagined, but he’d take it anyway because anything you gave him was just a little taste of what could be.

“Will I still be your Minho after you tell him?”

“If my Minho is the one that sleeps in his own bed, then yeah.” You reached for the knob and he stuck his hand out, covering yours and halting your escape. It was like he was silently begging you for more, more words, more emotion other than sympathy, more of anything because he could never get enough. His skin on yours after being in such close proximity without an ounce of skinship made your cheeks suddenly burn crimson.

“If you tell me you don’t want me, I’ll stop. But I want you… so tell me.”

It hurt to have to leave in the middle of this conversation, but you were late. Work wasn’t another thing you needed to mess up. “Go home. You’ll find out when I do.”

Your lip twitched into a sad smile, unreciprocated. Minho let his hand flop to his side when you twisted the knob and slipped through the door, leaving him with painful parting words.

The hours you spent at work felt like living in a place where the sun never sets, no end in sight. Not that you wanted it to, you were dreading the conversation with Hyunjin. Having to put on a happy face and text him to be at home when you got off work made your stomach churn. Sending him another message you were on your way, his response was heavy on your heart.

>> I’ve been waiting all day! Can’t wait to see you

It was like you suddenly teleported to his front door, the trip over had gone by in the blink of an eye. The entire day seemed to go by in a haze, but now that there was only one thing between you and the reason for your anxiety, it became much too real.

You raised your hand to knock, but before it could come down the door swung open. Hyunjin’s hair was sticking up in all different directions as though it was being tugged at– you would know. There was a blush across his cheeks, more red than pink, and ears to match. His eyebrows were knit together in a furrow, instantly softening as soon as he laid eyes on your tired, distraught face. “Hey,” you said softly. Hyunjin didn’t respond as he took a small step to the side to reveal his roommate standing behind him.

Minho’s eyes were glued to the floor, hands in his pockets frozen still. You looked back and forth between the two men, unsure of what the fuck was happening. “Is something–”

“No, there’s nothing. Come in,” Hyunjin cut you off before you’d even started, moving further aside to let you through. Hesitantly, you entered, keeping a confused eye on the brunette who found the floor to be much more interesting than your presence.

The shutting of the door behind you made you jump slightly, tensing when a warm hand was placed on the small of your back and guided you further in. You looked behind you to see Hyunjin’s kind smile. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary besides Minho’s uneasiness.

“We were just talking,” Hyunjin spoke, keeping a hand on your hip as you set down your bag. “Weren’t we, hyung?” Minho mumbled in agreement in no particular direction, avoiding both of you now.

“I’m very confused right now,” you said honestly, glare darting from roommate to roommate.

“Actually, me too. Enlighten us, Minho. Why don’t you tell Y/N what you told me?”

The leaving of his hand on your back caused you to turn back and watch as Hyunjin fell into the couch, taking up the entire space by laying his arms over the back of it and manspreading, his head tilting to the side and eyeing the brunette.

You gazed at Minho again, raising an eyebrow. When he didn’t say anything, Hyunjin urged him, “c’mon, you were pretty vocal a few seconds ago. What happened?”

“She happened,” the brunette’s head finally raised, only glancing over your figure and looking over your shoulder at the blonde.

“I’m right here,” you waved your hand, letting it smack your thigh in emphasis.

Hyunjin laughed, “believe us, we know, pretty. You’re fucking everywhere.” His eyes bored into you— through you and towards his roommate whose chest puffed at the words.

The two were in a silent stare down, speaking to one another through intense gazes that you couldn’t seem to read. The only sound in the room was your feet padding along the floor to constantly turn between them in confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I know I never asked to be your boyfriend but I didn’t think it meant we were in an open relationship.” The blonde let out an unamused chuckle, standing and coming towards you. You looked up at him with wide eyes, estranged by the pair’s behavior and even more why Minho hasn’t left now that Hyunjin’s hands were taking hold of your hips.

He gently tipped your chin higher and peered down at you with a sickly sweet smile. The hand on your hip pulled you in closer until your fronts touched, chest to chest and it gripped tighter. Hyunjin caressed your cheek, pushing your hair behind your ear and leaning down to whisper, “Don’t stress, baby. I’m not mad… at you.”

Talk about shock factor, you were rendered entirely speechless. And breathless. And mindless now that your dirty laundry was being aired out. Neither of them said anything truly defining about the situation, which made it all the worse because you were tip toeing on eggshells hoping that you were thinking the same thing that they were, praying the wrong information wouldn’t slip.

You managed to turn in Hyunjin’s firm embrace, now facing the brunette that has barely spoken two words since your arrival.

“You told him?”

Minho looked at you through his fringe, head still hanging low in guilt. Did he feel sorry? Sure, but more for the timing of it all rather than the people it affected. He told himself he’d have you one way or another. It was just an unfortunate turn of events that Hyunjin had the same idea.

“I had to.”

“After I said I needed to be the one to tell him?”

“It doesn’t matter now.”

“Like hell! Hyune,” spinning back around, Hyunjin dug his fingers deeper into your hip. He didn’t seem affected much by the conversation, but rather amused by it. “I was going to tell you today but this fuckwit beat me to it.”

“I already knew, sweetheart. Neither of you are very quiet,” he cooed, pinching your cheek much too teasingly for the atmosphere. “I’m just upset he got to play with you before I did.”

All the air in the room suddenly dissipated, not a single ounce of oxygen was going into your body as it felt like someone just sucker punched it all out of you. Given the absurd circumstances you probably shouldn’t have kept quiet. It wasn’t like you and Hyunjin had never been intimate before, there had been many late nights of helping one another relieve the ache, but you’d never gone all the way. Of all the times for your smart mouth to not be running, why did it have to be now? Why couldn’t you have just told Hyunjin the parts his roommate left out? Why was it all coming back to bite you in the ass after you decided to finally do the right thing for once?

“Wanna know what we were talking about before you came, sweets?” Hyunjin leaned forward, pressing his lips to the shell of your ear. You couldn’t see it, but you assumed he was looking at Minho, feeling the blonde’s hot breath making your skin raise goosebumps. When you didn’t answer, he continued, “Minho suggested I share you.”

Your body shivered from your spine down to your toes, “what?”

Hands pulled you tight against his body, chest to chest with no room in between, Hyunjin grazed his lips over your cheek. “I thought he was crazy. But you two are more than well acquainted. I think,” his fingers threaded through your hair and with just enough pressure, tugged and exposed your neck. Hyunjin’s lips found haven there, “I can have some fun. What do you think, baby?” A moan slipping from your mouth had him pulling away to look into your eyes, searching for any sign that you didn’t want this.

Hyunjin was offering something that was just as bad as drugs if not worse, just as addictive, just as lethal, but so painfully good that resisting felt impossible. He’d already said he wasn’t mad at you, and you believed him, but you feared what his words and his offer meant for the brunette, who still hadn’t moved from his spot across the room. There were so many things left unsaid, important things that could make or break your not-so-relationship with Hyunjin and your fucked up situationship with Minho. Dealing with the aftermath didn’t seem very appealing, so you stared at the blonde with confusion. “Hyune, what exactly are you saying? Because if it’s what I think–”

“It’s exactly what you think. I know what I want, Minho knows what he wants. What do you want?”

It felt like someone was playing pingpong with your eyeballs, darting between Hyunjin’s own stare and his plush lips that glistened when he swiped his tongue over it. Just looking at him, only him, you didn’t think to consider it. It was a test, you knew that, one you didn’t know if there was a right answer to. “I… I want–” you made another mistake, looking over your shoulder to see Minho boring straight into your eyes now, desperate to hear what you decide.

Hesitating in opening your mouth to finish, Minho’s gaze turned from anguished to relaxed in the split second you stuttered. He sighed, unimpressed and feigning defeat, then looked to his roommate, “I owe you twenty bucks.”

A deep chuckle resounded from within Hyunjin’s chest as you twisted to him again, even more confused than before. But the confusion was quickly wiped from your overwhelming emotional state when Hyunjin’s lips found yours, crashing but delicate in the way he held you. Slotting against one another so easily, comfortably, you almost forgot about the other body in the room. As the blonde’s hands slipped into yours and held them sweetly, another pair softly ran over your hips. The second touch made you jump, but the feeling of familiar lips on your neck made you relax into the touch. Minho didn’t do anything but press kisses to the junction of your shoulder, hands not moving besides gripping tighter. “Tell us to stop,” he whispered, so softly you weren’t sure even Hyunjin, who still hadn’t detached from your lips, could hear.

You didn’t. You couldn’t. The two of them doing nothing but kissing you was already working you into a frenzy, one that you knew was going to be detrimental. But like drugs, in this moment, the high was going to be worth the painful withdrawal.

Hyunjin pulled away much too soon, you whined and followed for more. “Cute. One boyfriend not enough for you?” The shake of your head made Minho nibble into your skin, teething and already leaving marks. “Of course not. That’s okay, we’ll take good care of you. Won’t we, hyung?” Fingers maneuvered your head to look at Minho over your shoulder, who smirked deviously.

“Mhm, I always take good care of you, pretty.”

Breath hitching, Minho released you and began to walk in the direction of the bedrooms. You were left in a daze, unsure of what to do as you looked at the blonde again. “C’mon baby,” Hyunjin kissed you again, taking your hand and leading you down the hallway.

This didn’t feel real, two of the hottest men you knew leading you to one bedroom, stripping you naked before either of them were and ogling you like the last thing they’d ever see. Hyunjin was practically drooling while Minho seemed as though he wanted to devour you whole, eyes narrowing as the blonde assisted in laying you back onto his bed. When you were spread out on display, the roommates stood next to and eyed one another. Sitting up on your elbows, you spoke your first coherent sentence in minutes, “would you rather fuck each other or..?”

Hyunjin chuckled and side-eyed Minho, “ha, not particularly, sweets. But I’m not fucking you tonight.” Minho turned to him confused as well, raising an intrigued eyebrow, “you’re not?”

“No,” he began to unbutton his top, slowly, tauntingly revealing the pale skin of his chest, “I said I wasn’t mad, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt my feelings.” You couldn’t stop from following his nimble fingers as they undid each button, torn between watching them or drooling over his toned abs instead. Hyunjin smirked, “you’re staring.”

“Mhm,” you smiled back, teething at your bottom lip and ignoring the heat between your legs. From over the blonde’s shoulder, Minho was copying his actions, stripping his shirt and unbuckling his pants, causing your attention to shift from one roommate to the other. Hyunjin quickly kneeled on the bed between your legs, grabbing your chin and forcing you to face him, “eyes on me, sweetheart.”

You couldn’t tell what you were more turned on by, Hyunjin’s sudden possessiveness or the fact that Minho was loving it just as much. Hyunjin crawled over you, pinning you to the bed as he connected his lips to yours sweetly. It was completely distracting, as if that was his plan, feeling his weight shift to your side without disconnecting. You didn’t expect the second pair of hands on you to suddenly trace up the insides of your thighs. If Hyunjin wasn’t cupping your cheeks you would’ve suspected he’d grown a second pair of hands. But you pulled away for a split second to look between your legs, seeing Minho already staring back. He’d lewdly stuck his tongue out and traced a circle around your clit when Hyunjin was guiding your attention back onto him.

They were competing in a silent competition, one you didn’t mind being a pawn in– at least, you didn’t mind right now. Hyunjin was slipping his tongue into your mouth and carding his fingers through your hair while Minho was working you up further, alternating between sucking at your clit and dipping his tongue into your entrance. At this point, you didn’t know who you were moaning for, just that the blonde was swallowing each and every one of them.

Head foggy and uncaring of the way your hips canted into Minho’s mouth, tugging Hyunjin in by the collar of his shirt that was on the verge of coming off entirely, your orgasm was practically delivered to you on a silver platter and you finished all over the brunette’s face. The three of your faces were covered in varying fluids; sweat, spit, arousal, and all of the above.

You couldn’t wait to strip Hyunjin of the rest of his clothes, almost ripping it off his body while pulling Minho in by wrapping your ankles around his torso as he sat up and tugging him in. They both chuckled at your eagerness, complying much too easily. It felt almost suspicious how smoothly this was going. But by the time they’d both stripped, the suspicion was quickly overridden by lust.

Minho was usually rather good at taking orders from you, it was entertaining to watch him listen to Hyunjin as well. Honestly, you didn’t expect Minho to listen at all considering how their friendship dynamic generally worked. Hyunjin’s tone wasn’t nearly as domineering as yours was when you spoke to the brunette, but he complied with minimal argument, “stay there,” he’d told him. Hyunjin stood and came to the head of the bed, turning to you, “on all fours, sweetheart.”

It was the first time Minho had seen you listen to anyone else, he got more and more excited seeing you be obedient. You scoot towards him and unabashedly eyed him up and down, lingering a bit longer on his throbbing cock that leaked with precum, making a small show just for him by licking your lips before flipping and facing Hyunjin again. The blonde sat against the headboard, spreading his legs and lazily tugging his dick. He always did have a pretty cock, something you reminded him of whenever the two of you did have those kinds of late nights.

You settled ass up, face down, looking up at Hyunjin for further instruction. You hadn’t realized you were wiggling your pussy in front of Minho until he grabbed your hips to stop them. He tapped his cock against your cunt, lewd wetness echoing in the hot room. Hyunjin reached down to caress your cheek with his freehand, thumbing at your lips with a sly smile. “Such pretty lips. Right, hyung?”

Hyunjin looked at his roommate, who’s eyes were glued to your puffy pussy, “mhm. So pretty.”

He tapped the head of his cock against your lips as his own parted to speak again, “I think he likes what’s between your legs more, sweets. That’s why the lips on your gorgeous face belong to me, hm?” His precum was smearing against your skin before you could reply, tasting the bitter saltiness. You whined as the head of Minho’s cock caught in your entrance, head so fuzzy with so many different feelings.

Neither you or Minho truly caught the intention behind Hyunjin’s words, he was pinching your cheeks and sinking your head onto his cock before it could process. The brunette followed his roommate’s motions, pushing into your pussy with ease. Being filled on both ends made your eyes roll back and zoom out of focus, until Hyujin pinched your cheeks tighter, feeling his dick beneath his fingers through your skin. Your walls clenched as your cheeks were forcefully hollowed, the two moaning almost in sync at the simultaneous actions. Minho started moving out of habit, slowly thrusting in and out as the younger’s big hands laced into the back of your hair. You were guided up and down the length of Hyunjin’s dick, mouth filling with saliva that dripped down his balls and making everything that much more wet.

“So good with your mouth, would never have believed it could be so filthy,” Hyunjin groaned, forcing you to take more of him and gagging. As Minho’s hips picked up speed, the blonde tugged you off entirely only to connect his lips to yours. You bounced against him, loving the familiar feeling of the tip of Minho’s cock hitting the soft spot inside you. It made you whimper louder, clumsily kissing Hyunjin back with tongues slipping and sliding. Everything was just so messy, perhaps you were a bit too enthusiastic to feel the weight of your not-so-boyfriend’s cock in your mouth again, removing yourself from his lips to dip back down and take him again.

“Fuck,” Hyunjin heavily breathed, “kisses and sucks cock like a fucking pornstar.” You shivered at the backhanded praise, loving it. Minho hunched over, wrapping his arms around your torso and kissing the expanse of your back. “Nuh uh, watch her, hyung. Don’t you wanna see what her pretty lips can do?”

“I know what her mouth can do,” the older retorted quickly, but followed the command nonetheless. Minho kept a firm grip on your hips but slowed his pace, thrusting short but powerfully and with mindful purpose. Each pound made you jolt forward and take more of his roommate’s cock, hitting the back of your throat and gagging each time. The sloppy slurping made Hyunjin shiver, already satisfied just by his friend’s response.

“‘M sure you do, you’ve had lots of practice. But they look even cuter around my cock. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?” Hyunjin suddenly shoved your head down and your nose pressed to his pelvis, repeatedly gagging around him. Your muffled humming agreement made the younger smile spitefully up at the other man. “Yeah, can’t get enough. You treat my dick like it’s a fucking lollipop.”

In the moment, Hyunjin running his mouth like it was on a treadmill and Minho stuffing you so well, you felt like you were floating, even if your eyes were starting to water. “Look at that, hyung. We made the selfish baby cry.” The younger swiped away the tears with his fingers, then held the same hand over your shoulder. Not that you could see– or that he wanted you to see– but Minho took his friend’s fingers into his mouth and sucked your tears from his skin. Hyunjin didn’t even verbally tell him to, Minho did that all on his own.

He doesn’t know why he did, maybe because this entire time, all Minho wanted was to feel your lips on his. He wanted it more than he wanted to cum, which was a lot. His body was betraying him and rutting into you with need, though, watching you take cock in your mouth with such desperation, like if you didn’t have it you’d drop dead. Minho knew that feeling because it’s the same thing he felt the night he got to kiss you for the first time. He also knew the face you were making, eyes big and blown wide, because you’ve made that face when you went down on him. But you’d never cried before with him, not like the presumed way you were now. Minho could see your tears on his roommate’s hand, continuously pouring from your eyes as the blonde kept a large palm cupping your cheek.

Hyunjin seemed unaffected by both his cock in your mouth and the tears still streaming down your face. In his head, he was loving it. He loved that you couldn’t keep your hands or mouth off of him, that even though you were taking a mean pounding from the back most of your focus was on pleasing him. Hyunjin’s head fell back against the headboard, eyeing his roommate through his lashes with a deliriously victorious smile.

Body tired, jaw sore, you weren’t sure how much more you could take. But still, you shivered when you felt Hyunjin’s cock twitch against your tongue. Mouth full, you mumbled. “Hm? What was that, sweets?” Hyunjin pried you up by your hair and you gasped for air, “wanna cum.”

The whine in your voice was like a plea for mercy, to finish you and leave nothing left. That’s what Hyunjin thought. “You heard her, hyung.”

You took hold of the cock in front of your face and twisted your wrist, looking at the blonde with watery eyes, “want your cum, too.” Hyunjin just hummed and guided you back down, kissing the top of your head and nodding at his roommate in a final command.

Minho almost whimpered when your walls suddenly suffocated his length, realizing the reaction was because of the simple peck Hyunjin left you with. You wanted more, more from him, more of him, so much so that even though you were filled with Minho, there was only one person you were truly seeing. But you hugged his dick so well and fit him like a puzzle piece, even though Minho couldn’t understand you right now, his single advantage over the other man was that he knew he could give you one thing.

Fingers collected the dripping arousal from where your and Minho’s bodies connected and brought the slick covered digits to your clit, circling it with practices, perfected pressure. You were teetering so close, but you shoved the feeling down and sucked harder on Hyunjin’s cock, tonguing more at the head and drawing out more moans from the blonde. His stomach was contracting, hips rutting up into your mouth until both his hands tangled in your hair and held you in place. Hyunjin used your mouth like just a hole, thrusting up until he reached the final few seconds, and his hips dropped to the bed and forced your nose to his pelvis one last time, milking himself dry. The warmth of his seed shot down your throat and you were forced to take every last drop, but there was so much, it seeped out the corners of your mouth. Attempting to swallow what you could with his cock still in your mouth, Hyunjin groaned in overstimulation, but took it proudly seeing as it didn’t seem like you wanted to let him go even after he’d finished.

You kept the tip of his cock in your mouth as Minho continued to pound into you, just the weight of it on your tongue somehow comforting. Minho knew how to get you to break like the back of his hand. He’d done it so many times before and he probably should have kept you on edge just a little bit longer, made you beg for him to make you cum because the way Hyunjin looked at you annoyed the fuck out of him. You should be begging him, why weren’t you?

Minho worked your clit harder, tighter until your walls pulsed rhythmically around him and finally, you came a second time. Your orgasm drew Minho’s out as well, filling you to the brim with his cum and you suddenly felt suffocated in white hot heat.

Your body fell forward into Hyunjin’s lap, both men reaching to catch you and lay you gently onto the bed. You weren’t sure whose hands were where as your eyes shut, someone rolling you onto your back while the other wiped your hair from your sweaty face.

The two men looked at each other, neither saying a word, only getting up and splitting into the bathroom and the kitchen to gather various things. Someone cleaned you up and someone made you drink water, everything felt like a blur. You had fallen unconscious for a few moments, and in those moments, Hyunjin and Minho exchanged nothing but agreeing looks. Nothing could be done about the elephant in the room if the most important party was asleep.

So when everyone was decently clean, Hyunjin climbed into his bed next to you and your arms unconsciously wrapped around his torso. The blonde looked at Minho who stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, “you owe me twenty bucks,” and nodded to the empty space behind you.

He didn’t know what to do, just that he wanted to hold you so badly, even if you weren’t holding him back. Minho, exhausted physically and mentally, got into Hyunjin’s bed and hid his face into the back of your neck, tiredly kissing the warm skin until your scent was all he could smell. He ignored the sound of Hyunjin kissing you, hoping and praying you weren’t kissing him back.

Feeling heat encase you on both sides made you stir awake just a little, enough to know you were sandwiched between the two men who made you so incredibly dizzy. Eyes blinking open enough to catch the blonde hair in front of your face, you shifted to lay your arm beneath Hyunjin’s neck while the other reached behind you to find Minho’s leg, draping it over your hip. A soft peck was placed against your lips, too deep into sleep to reciprocate but appreciated anyway. There, you fell asleep, hoping that you could wake up in your own bed and it all would have been a sick, twisted dream.

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @aliferousminho @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules

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girlgrouptrash101 · 4 years ago

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Yena (IZ*ONE) as Your Girlfriend

Request: “can i request iz*one's yena as your girlfriend please 👉🏻👈🏻 thank you 🥺”

A/N: took a lil break from studying to write for a bit, ( i hope this all makes sense, i’m really freaking sleepy rn yall T-T )

- C

Choi Yena - is she an idol or a stand up comedian? i guess we’ll truly never know

her bubbly personality and quick-witted jokes were actually the main reason you wanted to get so close to her in the first place, absolutely in awe of how she could bring a smile anyone’s face in mere seconds

which is why, after a few days of pep talks from your friends, you built up the courage to ask miss Yena on a date, to which she absolutely accepted

Yena was over the moon when you asked her, and the shocked look on her face told you just that as she hadn’t expected you to reciprocate her feelings - but her composure dropped for a mere nanosecond before she was back to her cheeky self, her arm already wrapping around your shoulder as she couldn’t wait to go on a date with you :]

one date quickly turned into much more, and you both felt the time flying by as you fell further and further for one another, leading to Yena asking you to make it official just a couple weeks later!

Everyone around you immediately gets soulmate vibes as soon as they see you two together, your chemistry is truly unmatchable

as wild and unhinged as Yena is, she always finds a sense of calm around you that she doesn’t with anyone else, and it’s always so cute to see her her usual cool girl facade bubble away when she’s with you

she has such a soft spot for you that no one else could ever get, and you love it so much when her chivalrous side comes out - plus the way she looks at you with so much makes you feel like the only person on the entire planet

Lowkey very cheesy, as in hand in your back pocket, don’t touch my baby type cheesy

(which you are an absolute sucker for, by the way)

every sentence ends with baby, no matter the context or who you’re with, she just loves calling you that SOO so much hehe

your guys’ relationship is truly like something out of like a 90′s teen movie, and no matter what Yena does, she always looks so damn cool that you can’t help but get an overwhelming amount of butterflies in your tummy

imagine Yena dropping you a text at the early hours of the morning telling you to come outside - you look out and see her on her motorbike, clad in her leather jacket and black jeans, lollipop lazily hanging from her lips as she waits for you to come outside GOD

and then she’ll take you to a little beach on the edge of town, the two of you snuggled up on the sand, only the sound of the waves to be heard as you shiver a little, even though you’re wrapped up in Yena’s leather jacket, and buried into her side :’)

Cuddles usually start with you laying in bed and Yena throwing herself on top of you, making you go “OOF” and making her giggle like an idiot

but once she gets comfortable, you best believe you guys aren’t moving for HOURS

and if you aren’t wearing an item of her clothing at ALL times its a national emergency and Yena must rectify that immediately

shows her love in many different peculiar ways, from squishing her cheeks against yours, poking her finger in your nostril, randomly nipping your earlobe or blowing raspberries against your skin while she lays her head on your stomach

funky little yena doing funky little dances in public whenever something makes her happy

which you have soon become a part of, leading to the two of you popping and locking in your local convenience store when the ice cream is on sale

However, while she presents herself as a strong, carefree person, none of us are free from worries, even Yena

when her thoughts get too loud, she’s feeling down, or even if she just had a bad day, you’re always there waiting for her with open arms and willing to listen to any of her worries; which she truly appreciates more than you could ever know.

Yena’s truly her authentic self when she’s with you - there’s no front, no shyness, she’s just pure Yena around you, and it’s so comforting to know she feels that comfortable around you to be that way.

(back to the fun stuff, sorry hjdfsjsd)

if you don’t already know how to skateboard, well you’ve basically got your very own tony hawk here to teach you how to become a pro skater

or if you suck she’ll just make you sit on her board and pull you along by the hand, both of you giggling like kids as she speeds up down the street

Her ideal date is somewhere where you two can have fun together, like the arcade, fair, going on trips (although no matter where you go, Yena always makes it fun :] )

you also both love the drive in theater near your house, and you guys go so often that you’ve basically created cuddle paradise in the back of Yena’s car, bundling up in the back, wrapped up in each others arms with the seats pushed down, wanting the night to go on forever <3

has probably said ‘no homo’ after a makeout session before

but to be honest, no matter what she says or does makes your heart flutter and fill with joy, because she truly is the m0st loving and happy spirit you’ve been honoured to have in your life, and you would never, ever change a single thing about her :)))))))))))

NSFW From Here:

yena cockiest little shit wbk

whenever she’s fucking you and you’re in any way trying to suppress your moans, she is NOT having it, simply opting to fuck you harder until you scream her name in that desperate tone that she loves so much

her favourite thing ever is memorizing the spots that make you moan a little louder, abusing your weaknesses over and over again until you’re a whimpering mess beneath her

HAS to mark you all over or else she’s not happy - leading to hickeys on the inside of your thighs, on your abdomen, your neck, collarbones, anywhere she can get access to she will always claim as hers

plus the satisfaction of seeing your spent body the morning after, the purple marks on your skin a sign of how good she made you feel makes her SO cocky n possessive and like. you’re HERS and no one is going to change that okay?

has fucked you in the back of her car after, or even during, your dates to the drive in theater,,, cuz girlie doesn’t really give a fuck, in her world its just you two and only you two

whenever you’re watching the movie, it usually ends up with you being engrossed in each scene, leaning into Yena’s side comfortably, thinking she’s paying as much attention as you - that is until you feel her hand creep towards the inside of your thigh, and that’s when you know you’re about 5 minutes away from screaming Yena’s name at the top of your lungs <3

when she invites you over to the practice room under the guise that she wants to teach you izone’s new choreo but then somehow you ended up on a chair in the middle room while Yena’s giving you a lap dance>>>>

when you’re in between her legs making you feel good and she’s looking down at you, her eyes hooded and her lip tucked between her teeth telling you how you’re doing such a good job....... FUCK

the kind of girl to whisper the filthiest words she can possibly think of in your ear then pull away and make a cheesy joke that leaves you mind absolutely REELING because like. her duality what the fuck

yena in nothing but a signature black choker with you riding her thigh in one of her oversized t-shirts, falling to pieces as she holds you close, relishing in the feeling of your dripping core against her skin,,,

also THAT mf that’ll tease you under the tables even when you’re with a group of people,, her annoying ass will just be relishing in the way your jaw clenches as you try so hard to not squirm as she teases you with her fingers

and those random times where you′re just like, at work or out shopping or vibing with your friends and then all of a sudden you get a video notification from Yena,,, and its a video of her in front of the mirror on your room, her legs spread and her fingers deep in her own heat, her breathes uneven as she does her best to keep her phone steady as she moans out your name

she LOVES doing that shit, knowing you’re turned on as fuck thanks to her just,, makes her feel so powerful

on those nights after Yena’s been away with schedules for a while and you finally get to see her, everything is always so intimate between, with longing kisses and lingering touches that truly are filled with not only lust but love too, pulling one another impossibly closer until all your senses are clouded with another.

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tulsa-trash · 4 years ago

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Can you do dating bob Sheldon headcanons please? 😊 (u can include nsfw if u want)

Dating Bob Sheldon Headcanons

WARNING(S): NSFW content, swearing, mentions of alcohol abuse+physical abuse

Note: I wrote Bob Sheldon Headcanons that kind of relate to this, if you haven’t read it I would just for a little more context. You can find it here.

The most popular couple in town oh my.

If you’re someone who doesn’t like a lot of attention or having your name in practically the entire teen population’s mouths, you’re in for quite a ride.

A lot of girls at school, mainly socs, are so envious of the fact that you’re with him. The gossip and rumors are endless, it can tend to be pretty overwhelming. The talk of your high school peers can sometimes get to you and cause problems with your relationship. If you confront Bob about it he’ll always deny and sweet talk you until you’re reassured enough.

“Is it true you were makin’ out with Cherry Valance under the bleachers? ‘Cuz that’s what everyone’s been tellin’ me.”

“Who? Doll you know I only have eyes for you.”

He’s a smooth b*stard I’m not gonna lie.

He’s also a really good liar watch out sis.

The first time he met you was at a homecoming dance. He confidently strolled over to you and told you how gorgeous you looked in your dress before asking you to dance with him. You couldn’t refuse, he was just too damn charming. He gave you a ride home and walked you to your front steps, he placed a sweet kiss on your cheek before he left. You were hooked right then and there.

Def the type to help carry your books and/or bag for you in school. He always walks you to class and eats lunch with you.

Never lets you pay for anything when you go out anywhere together, he absolutely refuses no matter how much you insist.

Always has a hand on you. He likes to have a hand on the small of your back mostly. He can easily pull you towards him, plus he can slide down and grab some a*s if he really wants to.

He’s a huge flirt, he’ll shower you in compliments and praise constantly.

“You’re absolutely breathtaking, darling.”

Bob is lowkey insecure as hell, if you praise him he’ll quickly be putty in your hands.

“You look handsome today, hun.”

“I do?”

Lots and lots of dates. The both of you go out together all the time. Every now and then you’ll go on double dates with Randy and Marcia.

Your family loves him to death. They know him and his family have such a fine reputation. Whenever he goes over your house he behaves like the perfect gentlemen, they adore the way he carries himself.

He rarely talks about his family and his home life. If you persist it only leads to him snapping at you... so you just chalked it up as a sensitive topic.

“I just don’t see why you can’t tell me more about your family, you know everything there is to know about me--”

“Well you don’t have to know every single little detail about me and my life so just leave it alone.” He would growl.

You’ve only met his parents once when they invited you over for dinner at his house. Bob was very hesitant, but you were so excited to finally meet them he couldn’t say no to you.

The dinner was very tense, and awkward to say the least. Mrs. Sheldon was more talkative than Mr. Sheldon, his daddy seemed pretty grumpy.

Very possessive and is indeed the jealous type. Guy friends are a big no, if a boy so much as looks at you a certain way he will make a scene.

The first time you had s*x was in the backseat of his car one night after attending a house party together. You had already been going steady for a few months, and he had been dying to see you naked ever since he seen how that homecoming dress hugged your curves perfectly.

It wasn’t until he was hovering over your trembling, bare body did he realize just how hungry and selfish he was acting. He yanked off your clothes pretty quickly, his hands roamed everywhere, his kisses were rough and sloppy; after months of waiting he finally had all of you for himself and he couldn’t help but get carried away.

He could see how nervous you were when his blue orbs met your own, his touches became softer and the pace slowed down. Right before he entered you he made sure you were ready.

“Are you nervous?”

“A little.” You admitted, your cheeks growing even more red than they already were.

He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear before trailing the back of his hand down the side of your cheek to your collarbone. “Don’t be, beautiful. I’ll take care of you.”

The beginning of your relationship is mainly all sunshine and rainbows, because he’s on his best behavior. As more time goes by Bob becomes more careless.

After being with him for a while he becomes more reckless with his drinking around you. You and him end up getting into a lot of fights because of the way he acts when he’s drunk... it frightens you.

“You’re drinkin’ too much, Bob. It’s scarin’ me.”

“Ah, you don’t know nothin’. Quite bein’ a nag.” He’d slur.

“You’re the one bein’ a buzzkill! Gettin’ obliterated and startin’ fights ain’t fun, Robert!”

“You wouldn’t know fun if it slapped you in the face, woman.”

You’ve gotten close to breaking up on a few occasions due to catching him flirting with other girls. Whenever you mention leaving him, Bob instantly becomes hysterical and horrified. He can’t lose the one good thing he has going for him.

“I can’t keep doin’ this with you, Bob.”

“Yes you can! I’ll do better-- I’ll be better for you, I promise.” He’d swear up and down desperately. “Just... please don’t leave, alright? I love you. You’re my everythin’.”

One day as you watched him change in your bedroom, you noticed multiple bruises and lacerations on his torso. At first you thought it was just from him getting into a fight. But it was then you noticed that there was a huge variety of old and new scars, along with cigar burns on his shoulder blades. You questioned him about it and he refused to speak on the topic.

“Babe...” You scanned his back with a concerned gaze. “Who is hurtin’ you like this?”

He tugged his polo over his head roughly, “Nobody. It’s all old.”

“Bob--”

“I SAID IT’S NOTHIN’! DROP IT GOD DAMNIT!”

It took you a moment to put two and two together, but when you finally did you felt sick to your stomach. It had all made sense now, why he never wanted you over his house and why he never talked about his parents.

That night you held him in your arms while he sobbed and wailed. He didn’t have to say a word, you knew. The poor boy was an absolute mess, he was broken. By god you just wanted to fix him.

#the outsiders #the outsiders fanfiction #the outsiders hcs #the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders bob #the outsiders fandom #bob sheldon #bob sheldon headcanons #bob sheldon hcs #bob sheldon x reader

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awhst-alt · 3 years ago

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I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

#byler

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bibatbrat · 3 years ago

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Vox Machina Episode 16

Sam is just out here fighting for his life on the LA highways every episode man

Oh God no this is the episode Pike leaves I’m gonna fucking cryyyy 🥺

The Gang Goes to the Vatican City

Vax gaslights Grog into believing he is growing a beard (pt. 1)

Scanlan Assists Vax in Gaslighting Grog That He Is Growing a Beard

The Scanlan (wisdom of 7) v Tiberius (wisdom of 4) debate is absolute clownery at its finest

Sarenrae: the she-bro you never had

KEYLETH TRAGIC BACKSTORY UNLOCKED!!!!!!!!

Watching this w the knowledge that her mom is alive and coming back to her is so comforting god 💜

God, do we ever find out why Kima was so fucking weird about coming back to Vaselheim?? I know we don’t in this arc but like… please???

The party said “kima can we get some of your tragic backstory?” and she said “no” and vaulted off the side of an airship

Trinket likes it cuz it’s cold 🐻

Matt said “this place sucks shit ngl but these nerds love it anyways”

Vax trying to follow Keyleth when she’s in Giant Eagle form is gay

Keyleth getting arrested and the party just being like “Ughhh not again”

aslkdjaskdj grog and percy wanting to play out the bit

Kima claiming Keyleth v assertively…. enemies to lovers?? 😳

Kima said “for the love of god scanlan can you STOP BEING HORNY IN CHURCH”

Vex stepping forward like “well… since we’re talking about rewards…” and everyone in the party just groaning

The Gang Finds Out That Bards Are Good At Lying

The Gang Begins Their Record of Godawful Encounters With Dungeon Traps

God I forgot that Vax doesn’t even roll bad to trigger the pillar trap, he literally triggers it on purpose just to see what it does fucking moron

I’m picturing the scene in Brother Bear when Kenai gets stuck in the snare trap and is just bouncing around smacking his head on every single rock in the scenery and the moose bros are just watching and like… that’s Vax and the party rn

Keyleth putting her hands on Vex’s shoulders while Vex is drawing her bow… gay and such good posing

Vex is amazing and I’m going to murder Tiberius so hard, so fucking hard

Percy is such a bitch and I love him

I like to imagine that Scanlan’s Song of Rest is just him playing Crazy Frog over and over at increasingly high pitch, and it annoys everyone into healing faster

GOD Pike’s Spiritual Weapons are so fucking cooooool

lmaoooo poor Scanlan not even getting a hit in

Aww Keyleth and Trinket buddies

“I’m furry but I’m not Trinket” …..okay yeah I see why werewolf!Percy was such a big thing

Ashley always has the most hopeful smile on her face before she announces her terrible stealth rolls and I would kill and die for her

“They would probably be skittering” makes sense in context but the serious way Matt says it is so fucking funny to me

The platinum golems dual-wielding fucking cleavers is so insanely cool Jesus

Still, from the bottom of my heart, why the fuck did they attack Kima? As a DM, I kinda :/ with that… they don’t gotta be her friend but they are on the same side y’know

Keyleth saves everyone for the millionth time

But why the fuck do they keep chasing them?? I get it’s a combat encounter but what the fuuuuck

“Oh, Grog, your beard has been singed!” Pike is the funniest member of the party actually

Kima saving everyone and Scanlan just going, “….Kima!”

BAHAMUT DOESN’T SEE RACE SAKDASKJDLAKJD god that’s p cringe

They’re all so happy to see the Temple of Sarenrae just for Pike’s sake… oh my heart hurts

Oh my God and Pike’s so fucking important to them and they need her and everyone just immediately starting to cry when Jasira asks Pike to stay aghhhhh

#vox machina #critical role #liveblogging #j watches vox machina

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vaporsnake · 4 years ago

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i really don't like mgs4 either lol i really wish it could have just focused on solid snake tbh. don't get me wrong i love big boss and raiden, but like, why were they there? their stories have already been told

fr mgs4 just did every single thing wrong FIRST OF ALL. THE PATRIOTS BEING MGS3 CAST. WHO CAME UP WITH THAT truly it does not make sense on so many levels like its out of character, they had no believable motivation for it either, and it does NOT work thematically.. i dont buy it luv i just dont like i just know they needed a TWIST REVEAL and all the other characters were taken. like i said it also makes 0 sense thematically it wdve worked better if the patriots remained faceless........weeeelllllll me being salty about this is in part due to this making paramedic my beloved evil yes but it is sincerely out of character for all three of them to be in on it. like come on. you played mgs3 you know what i mean.

SECOND OF ALL EVA RETELLING THE EVENTS OF MGS3. SHE GETS IT WRONG. LIKE SHE LITERALLY. DOES NOT ACCURATELY SAY WHAT HAPPENED THIS PART WAS KIND OF HYSTERICAL ACTUALLY...... LIKE BABY THAT WAS JUST LAST GAME HOW DID YOU ALREADY FORGET WHAT YOU WROTE.

and what u said HONESTLY YEAH. why did big boss need to be here. yes he is my favorite little war criminal but just let my old man rest in hell???? he dieded???? he dead?????? dont bring him back <\3 yes the final scene he has with david is cute but only out of context. also fucking...major zero being there and john is all "this man caused the war". no mf it was both of you ?!?!?!?!? what are you on?!?¿°¿

and raiden fucking.... RAIDEN. him being in this game literally, LITERALLY erases his entire arc from his previous game. it just makes it. entirely irrelevant it does... but okay sure fucking whatever. why is he a cyborg now. dont answer i know why. irs because people complained he looked gay last game ...so they changed him. rip my little gay looking raiden forever in my heart.

also microwave scene. i said this like FOUR TIMES ALRWADY ON THIS BLOG BUT SNAKE LITCH OF RALLY DIDNT HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE MICROWAVE EVEN IF HE DIDNT WANT RAIDEN TO GO . OTACONS STUPID FUXKING ROBOT SURVIVED THIS SJIT JUST FINE AND COULDVE JUST DID THE MISSION. BUT LIKW. FUCKING WHATEVER AT THIS POINT I HATE MGS4. and rhe scene dirextly after the microwave when theyre sbskdjdj NAOMI IS DYING and theyre facetiming otacon. its. the most ridiculous out of tone sxene in the whole franchise like i truly CANNOT handle it i know mgs is all purposefully campy and dumb but you can tell this scene was nnnot meant to be read as this stupid. actually i hate naomi in this game in general nothing she does makes sense i STILL DONT KNOW why she deactivared the nanomachines that kwpt her from DYING FROM LITERAL CANCER bababsbdb also. wheres that post thats like why did naomi have to undress snake and cry over his body cuz hes old that was so mean. because its. true like why did she do that like imagine you saw your work friend for the first time in a while and they were like "take off your shirt". and then you did and they broke down in tears saying like "oh my god youre so shitty and old i cant take it" like i wouls just kill myself at this point.

this reminds me. isnt this the game which introduced rhe concept of snake aging fast as fuck. like correxr me if im wrong but they didnt say that before ??? right ???? yeah thats stupid as well like why would they do that. if the patriots made him. why would they think this would stop him from defecting in any way at all the only thing it does is make him a worse soldier WHEN HE WAS LITERALLY MADE TO BE A SOLDIER.

meryl marries johnny sasaki.

i hate metal gear.

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parachutingkitten · 5 years ago

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Imma Rant About How Pixal Deserves Better (cuz what else is new)

I love Pixal. That’s no secret. But the writers need to make up their minds about if they want her to be a member of the core cast or not, cuz it’s driving me nuts. Now, this is not a ‘pixal needs to be a ninja!’ post, cuz no, she doesn’t. Her being samurai x is an awesome and coherent move story wise. Moving from samurai x to the water ninja was a natural transition for Nya (even if I personally didn’t like the execution that much, but whatever- that’s a rant for another time), but if they tried to do it for Pixal, it wouldn’t make any sense. This doesn’t mean I’m against Pixal having the potential for ice powers- I wrote a fic about her reaching her true potential for goodness sake- but that also isn’t what this is about. This is just a post about her being a member of the team, because the writers have been playing her with only one foot in the door for four seasons now, and it’s NOT working.

Remember in season 1 and 2, when Nya was samurai x? Yeah, sometimes she would stay behind, but most of the time, she was going on the missions with them. She got to interact with all of the boys. When the ninja got captured, she got captured. When the Ninja went on a large scale mission, she went with them. Down. Out of the Bounty. She worked with the Ninja, beside them, not in a totally separate B plot with just Wu. Her role in the team was admittedly different, but it was still equal. But now, samurai x, as Pixal, is the designated ‘stay behind’ character. And it’s played like this big sacrificial move, and she does some cool things while the team is gone but the one big problem with it is THE TEAM ISN’T THERE TO SEE IT! So it doesn’t expand her standing within the team. It doesn’t give the satisfaction of a big heroic moment, because it’s a B plot! The one purely Pixal centered episode EVER was the one in season 11 where she fights the preeminent. Guess what? The only team member there is Wu, it’s a b-plot filler episode, and it’s never brought up again.

And yeah, that’s the only Pixal focus episode in the whole series. She’s a side character in season 3, she’s non existent in seasons 4-7, season 8, her reveal episode is cluttered with baby Wu/Harumi drama, and she’s not even physically and mentally there until the last few seconds of the episode (that rewrite is on it’s way, promise), season 9 she’s drowned out by the EMs, season 10 she has half an episode to shine where, once again, she ‘stays behind’ in a b plot with 0 character growth, which leaves the one episode in season 11 where she is the true 100% focus, and even then... it’s ‘stay behind’ b plot filler. Pixal hasn’t even been given a decent character arc... ever! She has like 2 (and a half) arcs total in the whole series. Season 3′s ‘getting a heart and falling in love’ arc, Season 8′s ‘I am samurai x arc’ which they don’t even explore that well, and then arguably, if you really squint, season 4′s ‘becoming part of Zane’ arc, but even then, that’s pretty much discovered and wrapped up in one episode. Complain all you want about Cole not having his own full season, but at least he’s got himself several well written, entertaining, A-plot, multi season arcs. The ‘Holy crap I’m a ghost’ arc, the ‘frustration with my best friend’ arc, and the ‘I am a father now’ arc. Say what you want, but he’s a main character of the show, and one of the go-to characters the writers love to throw stuff at, with distinct relationships with his cast-mates.

Pixal’s interactions with the team all feel so forced. Like the writers want to include her, but don’t know how to. Mainly cuz they don’t know how to write her when she’s not around Zane. Her scenes with Zane are drop dead adorable! And... I suppose her alone time with Wu was...okay. But it’s like when she’s not alone with Zane the writers forget who she even is. That season 11 episode? They play her weirdly innocently. I’m sorry, that’s not Pixal at all. It’s been established since season 3 that she’s our grounded, painfully realistic, sass robot. Where is this “does that mean you’re not mad at me?” stuff coming from? Thing is, later in the episode, she’s acting like herself. So... idk what happened in the middle there. But because they don’t know how to write her in the context of the team, most of the time she’s reduced to standing around in the background. Even in fight scenes. Why? WHY?! You obviously want to include her? How do you do that? Maybe, I don’t know, HAVE HER INTERACT?!

Seriously, this isn’t that hard to fix. You split up the team all the time. Just have her go on a mission with Jay. Or Cole. Or Nya. Or anyone other than Zane. Play it for laughs. Play it seriously. Play it for those sweet sweet wholesome vibes. Idk. Just have her do something! These characters have stuff to bond over! Jay has a fascination with Borg industries in general, that would be fun to play off of. Cole and Pixal both have a pretty DEEP untouched emotional baggage. Lloyd and Pixal both have this sort of “not part of the pilot cast, joined later and never really integrated 100%” vibe going for them. Kai and Pixal have beef! This could be one of the great Ninjago rivalries! Nya and Pixal can bond over samurai x, that’s a total gimme one! These characters have relationships ripe for building, but they just DON’T TALK TO EACH OTHER!

Every main character. EVERY MAIN CHARACTER has at least one episode (but likely many more) dedicated to them, where they do something real cool, single handedly save the day or something, and the whole team comes and hugs them and says “wow, great job!” “You’re an important and valued member of our team!” “This is why you’re great!” and... I just want one of those for Pixal. Please. Pretty please. Just so she can have some validation. Just so that the main cast can acknowledge her existence. And as trivial as this one episode may seem, I think it’s really important. She needs her big ‘save the team’ episode. She never had a sort of “true potential” moment when she really proved herself, and I think that’s really what she needs. Think about how good the Royal Blacksmiths episode was for Cole. He spills about some of his baggage, each of the team members is forced to interact with it, and try to understand it, and in the end they all work together to help him get past this rough patch in his life, and he ends up looking like a boss and saving the day in the process (also note, probably the best group hug ever in Ninjago history). Now, you could argue that since she doesn’t have a element, her being samurai x could work to give her that episode. Great. Cool. That makes sense. But Pixal doesn’t have a “true potential” episode- she has a “reveal” episode, where the ninja have to fight her cuz she’s evil and she doesn’t end up saving the day, Nya does. You see why even though it’s technically “focused” on Pixal, it isn’t meaningful at all to her character?

Thing is, I wouldn’t even be that mad... if she were a Skylor type character. I like Skylor as much as the next chick, and say what you want about her screen time, but at least she has a defined role within this universe! If Pixal was Zane’s cool robot gf/ samurai x - secondary protector of the city - that popped up for a cameo once in a while and played a larger role in seasons that merited her, I would be fine with it! Borg isn’t a big character, but he gets appropriate screen time, some seasons more than others, and he still feels like a cared about piece of the canon! This would work pretty well for Pixal too! Would I like this better than her being an active part of the main team? Hell no! I think her being on the team is the right way to lean, but as of right now, she’s just doing nothing of substance. I’d rather the screen time she has be meaningful than have her as a token nothing in the background of every episode.

That’s my main point here. Either start respecting her as a character, or stop pretending she’s on equal footing with the team. We already know season 12 isn’t gonna improve on that. The ninja go into the video game world and Pixal stays behind. Granted, Zane doesn’t go either, so maybe we’ll get some good content. But again, it’s the B plot, and with Zane. Nothing we haven’t seen before. (I could keep going about how the show has been pushing Zane out of the picture even back in season 3, but again, a rant for another time)

Anyway, this rant pretty much sums up why most of my fanfic is Pixal-centric. It’s a character the writers just REFUSE to write for but has a decent amount of screen time, so there’s a lot of possibilities. Might do another rant about the whole ice powers thing. Idk. Just needed to get this out. thanks for reading :)

#ninjago #Pixal Borg #parachuterants #pixal deserves better

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ciel-phantomhives-world · 9 months ago

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Exactly. I couldn't agree any less. Like I'm super disappointed with this opening. The song is bad. The opening sequence is bad (just a bunch of slide shows and weird out of context stuff appearing). But black Butler, being the masterpiece of a manga as it is , deserves more than whatever this is. It's been almost 7 years since the bota came out. They could handle this better.

The ending is also so mid (just Ciel falling and then that Sebaciel fanservice?). It's as if they don't know how to attract the audience or their attention without putting Sebaciel at this point. Like y put those fanservice in almost every single movies, seasons, ovas (I get it that part of it is because of Yana) but this is too much extra. They could make a freaking badass opening like the black Butler season 1 or 2 or boc openings but no. They made an opening that's purely boring and won't attract anybody's attention. Even though I'm such a strong black Butler fan, I'm always skipping that opening (and I never did that for the other seasons) as it's that bad. And then that ending that had the potential to be better with those beautiful school scenes but again NO. They had to turn it to slideshow again and then add that awkwardly long Sebaciel vibe moment. That's all.

The anime is just a disaster. Firstly S1 was mostly non canon, although I know the reason why (I also enjoyed the non canon parts) but when they were adapting chapters from red butler arc or yellow butler arc, they could freaking show us all those funny wholesome moments instead of changing them or removing them entirely (like the time when soma drew that elephant or agni was prepared to come clean to Randall).

Believe it or not but most of those wholesome moments got their own importance as well cuz Yana puts her little foreshadows or hints here and there and everywhere. They r not just funny or wholesome but also important.

And then we got s2. S1 and s2 actually feels like those anime writers just took some of Yana's future plans of how she would turn her manga and ran with those ideas, thus turning everything to disastrous (season 2 that is). It's like copying ur classmate's homework but changing some things so that the teacher won't notice lol. But S2 had one of the best ending songs by kalafina and the opening and ending had that gothic black Butler essence and sadness and was also badass.

S3, book of circus was perfect. They showed the entire arc (skipping the Nina Hopkins, Lizzie, soma chapter). They added some new scenes (with yana's permission). Some were great and actually created more emotions while some where totally unnecessary (like the boc first episode where Ciel was going to get ambushed again, like come on, we didn't need that although it was badass, it just didn't make sense at that point where Ciel would constantly get these backstabbers and he would pretend as if he doesn't know that).

Book of murder and book of Atlantic are the ones that disappointed me the most (especially book of Atlantic). Like how dare they turn the Campania arc into a freaking 1 hour movie. They left all those important stuff of Tanaka, snake being insecured, how Ciel obtained his other golden ring, and so on.

The animation for all these seasons were bad (especially s2) or average. Still they were better than what we got this year. Now, of course Season 4 is adapting everything exactly how it is in the manga without removing any scenes most probably. But it feels like something's not right. It feels like so unhinged. I know that it's different studios and stuff. But I can't feel the black Butler vibe or essence from this season anymore. The moments that I once laughed at a lot in the manga, I can't even feel that for this anime. It looks so dull or I feel like the characters aren't moving that much, rather it's slides or something, idk. Whenever something funny happens, it either passes way too quickly to even react or it happens in such a way ( that I can't describe) that u won't even feel anything that Yana was trying to convey in her manga. The feelings are all washed up. Just coping the manga panel by panel is not enough, I guess, they also need to put effort on how to convey the feelings properly.

I was so upset that bom and bota didn't get anime opening but now I'm regretting this. I feel like nothing is better than this. It's kinda feels a bit of disrespect at this point to yana's manga and hard work and how they r just shitting on her hardwork (removing all those small important details, foreshadows, consistency, bad opening/ending). They r also trying my patience by ruining some character designs like Francis, Alexis maybe, Sebastrash, Vincent and all. I'm so done.

All in all, the anime did Yana dirty and anime only fans won't even know that. Black butler anime didn't get the justice that it deserved like the manga 💔.

I'm just ranting at this point. I'm so sorry pal 😞.

College arc Black Butler Opening

I would have wished they took the opening song from the musical "Perfect Black". Of course with better singers and some changes in the lyrics here and there. The bells chime in the song are so eerie and unique. It perfectly reflected the dark tone of the plot for me. Thing is in my opinion Black Butler doesn't deserve a generic opening song and it feels to me that this one is and it isn't catchy at all. Have secret hopes "Perfect Black" will be played another season of this arc if we will even get one. As a manga reader and anime watcher Edward is terribly underrated, he seems the most human from the whole bunch to me. There, I said it.

#kuroshitsuji #weston college arc #yana toboso #black butler matters #hot guys lives matter #justice for anime #this is not fair

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redandfranticfeelings · 6 years ago

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okay ive been wanting to make a post like this for a while but i wanted to make it an essay and i dont know if i can really organize my thoughts in that way yet, so here’s a chronological bullet-pointed dump to explain my very important thesis:

be more chill is about internalized ableism, and jeremy, michael, and christine are all highly autistic coded. this is going to be very long and detailed but only because there’s a lot of details that work very well under this lens.

there’s probably even stuff i missed but this is already extremely long so it basically just functions as a way for me to collect a bunch of details that i can piece together later in a more coherent manner.

“more than survive” in the context of jeremy being autistic works so much. the theme of wanting to be just socially acceptable enough to not burn out or be harassed is so relatable, and it visually establishes very early how jeremy is isolated from his peers due to his own awkward behavior and hypersensitivity. it’s coupled with his very obvious anxiety disorder, but the social aspect just screams autistic coding to me. i take this song to basically be “not having a meltdown is basically my goal but i would love to be neurotypical enough so i can heighten my standards and actually enjoy my social life.” some choice segments:

“if i’m not feeling weird or super strange, my life would be in utter disarray, cuz freaking out is my okay”

jeremy’s house being a mess is partly due to his dad’s serious depression, yeah, but i believe the other aspect is that jeremy’s executive dysfunction makes it just as hard to clean up in his place

he gets super anxious at the prospect of his expected routine being shaken up and having to make the decision on his own of how to get to school

“so i follow my own rules and i use them as my tools to stay alive” honestly sounds like a euphemism for autism to me

jeremy not really realizing that he’s staring at chloe

“avoiding any eye contact at all” explains itself

michael’s introduction, oh my god, every time i watch this part i just adore it. i could talk a lot more about michael’s autism later but this whole segment sells it especially.

first off, michael keeping his hood up and headphones on in a deliberate attempt to avoid social interaction and stay in his own space is such an autistic mood. even before this scene he’s constantly moving in the background to his music a la stimming. in the later performances he spends a lot more time playing with his hoodie strings and even chews on them!!

the fact he doesn’t talk to or even really look at jeremy until his song is done playing also feels very autistic to me! and the way he dances so confidently and basically pretends even his best friend isn’t there for the time being because he’s engrossed in his own passions.

michael is a great friend but it’s clear that he doesn’t really understand that his coping mechanism doesn’t really work for jeremy, and that even though michael feels confident reclaiming his identity as a ‘loser,’ jeremy doesn’t really feel any better about it. i think a lot of autistic folks, or at least i do, have this tendency to assume what works for us works for everyone around us at first due to our struggles with empathy. michael tries his best but struggles to see outside his point of view. it’s mind-blindness in action and jeremy can’t communicate why it upsets him any better than michael can pick up on it not working for him.

near the end of the song, they have a brief moment where all the ensemble crowds in around jeremy and the lights start flashing, which i interpret as a visual representation of sensory overload.

we’ll talk more about her soon, but outside of jeremy’s fantasies about her, christine also avoids social interaction during this number, constantly hiding her face in a book and avoiding eye contact just as much as jeremy. people forget that she’s not comfortable with unexpected social interaction, and that really informs my headcanon for her which brings us to....

“i love play rehearsal” is an autistic anthem. it also works, possibly even better due to in-text evidence, as an adhd anthem, but combined with the above it makes so much sense for her to be comorbid autism/adhd. i did a breakdown of the song in this context before, but i’ll sum it up here

the song showcases what having a special interest/hyperfixation is like. christine is singing to jeremy, yes, but she really seems so caught up in her own passion without much regard for how jeremy is following it, and even cuts him off from responding to her once or twice because she’s just so hyped up on her own feelings. she also basically implies her happiness is reliant on her special interest which is very relatable.

lines like “you follow a script so you know what comes next” also really sell the interpretation that christine isn’t good in unpredictable situations, and has so many identity issues and likes having something to look to where things are laid out for her. i think that stability is what a lot of autistic people look for, especially teenagers.

also with that in mind, look at how upset she gets watching a play she loves about get rewritten into something weird and new that she doesn’t know.

also gotta love how she still self-isolates before this song by focusing on her book, until she has a reason to infodump to jeremy. and then feels guilty afterwards and goes right back into her book while apologizing for getting “carried away”....biiiig mood there

the whole intro scene showcases both of their awkwardness so much. jeremy gets completely thrown off by her sarcastic comment about the swim team and almost believes it, which implies that he can’t read tone very well. and then christine’s “you’re a virgin” comment comes across like she really didn’t think about how that would sound to jeremy before saying it since she only made the clarification after he was ready to panic about it. she has a habit of speaking before she thinks, i think, the self-harm comment is also very awkward considering she barely knows jeremy.

after that scene we get “more than survive reprise” where jeremy admits to routinely having such bad breakdowns that he needs to step out and go to the nurse which works for both the anxiety disorder and the autism interpretation.

i’m not quite sure whether i see rich as autistic (i see him with a lot of mental issues for sure though) so i can’t say much on “the squip song” but there’s definitely something to describing a confused autistic kid as “almost helpless.” rich definitely has a habit of giving too much information though, i’ll say that.

“two player game” is just jeremy and michael being autistic solidarity: the song. i guess this is a good place to say that jeremy and michael work well as a contrast b/w two sides of autistic community, the side that struggles to function and desperately wants a change bc they’re afraid of being alone forever, and the side that tries to love all their symptoms and embrace their autistic pride. and as coincidental icing on the cake, jeremy wears blue (associated with the derogatory views from autism speaks) and michael wears red (associated with combating said views through autistic pride).

btw you could probably attribute michael’s ability to casually down a long-expired crystal pepsi as a sort of weird sensory quirk. and his fixation w/ that sort of memorabilia honestly feels like a special interest in its own right!

both “nice sideburns....wolverine, right” and “like in x-men????” using fiction as a reference point for real life always gives me autistic vibes (esp the first point where he awkwardly uses it to start conversation). can we assume x-men is a special interest? :3

jake referring to jeremy as a ‘freak’ when the squip turns on is really sad in this context but it also does make so much sense

now we get to the squip.....and what do you know, it uses tactics from abusive therapy used on autistic children. dare i say that “be more chill” as a song isn’t just an abuser’s song, but an ableist’s abuser’s song.

first off, the “spinal stimulation.” here’s a not so fun fact: electroshock therapy has been used to discourage autistic behavior in very recent years. (content warning in link for graphic description of ableist torture)

then the lyrics, in which the squip mostly focuses on jeremy’s posture and physically punishes him for disobeying. jeremy is shown to really struggle to stand up straight and pose himself in a normal, confident way, and i think that tendency to be unaware of what our body is doing is a pretty autistic thing?

the fact the squip singles out stammering and refers to jeremy’s “tics and fidgets” brings attention to two more autistic traits of jeremy’s

the squip basically punishes jeremy for responding “incorrectly” to social situations like rejecting brooke, even if they aren’t objectively wrong. it eventually just starts speaking for jeremy because jeremy seems incapable of acting natural. the squip is an abusive autism parent.

“sync up” demonstrates jeremy’s weird relationship with empathy. he wants to be nice to everyone- will has even called him “deeply empathetic”- but he’s initially really bad at seeing other people’s point of view, which is why he positions himself as sort of against the world, seeing everyone as better than him or trying to set up these barriers of Coolness where everyone else must be perfect compared to him. he’s so surprised to learn that the popular kids also hurt because of his strict idea of the social structure. it’s a combination of low self esteem and a black-and-white viewpoint.

let’s go back to christine. the squip, already established as ableist abuser, finds her “highly unusual” for acting in a way that disregards everyone who views her. she has very strange and specific visions in her head, and it seems very natural for her even if jeremy struggles to follow along.

in later performances, she chews on her sleeve and spins around during AGTIKBI. that’s stimming, babes. also gotta acknowledge “i don’t always relate to other people my age, except when i’m on the stage”

i’m gonna use this section to talk about jake and christine. christineis a bit unsure when interacting with jake, until he validates her interest- her acting is what really touches him. but jake, while good-hearted, has trouble being self-centered and thus not fully aware of christine’s own needs and space. so christine is always a little uncomfortable around him, especially in public, and not always willing to socialize. he is right about her being kind of stuck in her comfort zone, though, not doing anything off of her stage. and he is genuinely nice to her, it’s just a matter of their social strategies clashing.

the fact that the squip blocks out michael...i’ve had a lot of times in my life where i was told that socializing with other “weird” people would be counterproductive for my social development and it was part of why i was stuck with so few friends. so i really feel the idea that blocking out the person who helps you feel confident in your atypicality is framed as a good thing so you can act more socially adept, and that doing otherwise would just drag you both down.

hot DAMN does “loser geek whatever” make so much sense for an autistic kid with internalized ableism.

“it’s not only school that’s rough, being lonely’s stupid tough” makes it pretty clear this isn’t about the school social scene as muc as it is the entire social scene of the world. we may not see it, but it’s just (not) interacting with people in general that jeremy can’t stand.

“michael says that weird is rad but feeling weird just makes me sad” as stated above, makes a Lot More Sense with the idea that michael is both a more confident autistic and really bad at addressing jeremy’s own internalized ableism and desire to make connections outside his small friend group.

everything about jeremy boiling down all his problems to his “instincts” sucking and needing to basically be told what to do really highlights how autistic kids can feel broken because of their inability to fit into the social norm, to the point where we repress every behavior that actually makes us feel comfortable and unique.

not to mention the line about him being seen as a “normal handsome guy” since autistic people tend to be infantilized and never seen as desirable (will roland also implied this line has trans coding which is another discussion altogether but i feel i should acknowledge that here)

all of those terms that jeremy calls himself near the end- namely weirdo, misfit, oddball, freak, failure- all of this sounds like the shit people throw at autistic kids. like this goes beyond anxiety alone, this is jeremy being outcasted and oppressed by the general public due to his behavior. especially the “please don’t speak” part, considering how often autistic kids are mocked for misunderstanding when to speak, how to speak, and what to talk about. jeremy needs some freaking love. :(

“michael in the bathroom” is a panic attack, related to severe anxiety, but i do see a lot of aspects that play into autism as well. the little nervous stimmy movements of foot-bouncing and picking at grout, the explosive sensory overload during the “knock knock” section of the bridge, the whole concept of losing the only person you ever managed to connect to without sacrificing who you are, dealing with this massive change to your sense of philosophy and reality where you pinned everything on one person to ground yourself, and thus you’re now completely lost trying to isolate yourself from this big overwhelming social gathering...neurodivergent anthem all around.

jeremy and christine’s couch interactions during halloween give me such autistic positivity. christine basically echolales jeremy’s weird noise and they both have so much fun vocal stimming that they forget there’s another person in the room. it’s such a sweet moment until jeremy ruins it by realizing that asking her out right after a breakup is Not Really Good For Her.

christine’s reaction to the fire demonstrates a clear case of hyperempathy to me. it isn’t discussed as much as a complete lack of empathy, but autistic folks are prone to feeling way too much especially when it comes to others’ pain. christine talking about how she hates that everyone’s hurting and desperately wants to help but doesn’t know how, and how we’ve already seen how much she struggles to connect with others like jake....it’s a very relatable, very specific autistic mood.

going back to the theme of jeremy and empathy, christine’s above hyperempathy kind of breaks this mold, and while jeremy always does feel for the other kids, by this point he feels so strongly- particularly for christine, who he also saw as a perfect confident being until now- that the squip can manipulate him into “fixing” everyone the same way the squip was supposed to “fix” him. and he never considers that christine doesn’t need to be fixed because he just projects his own insecurity that strongly onto everyone else who seems “weird” in the same kind of way- hence why he assumes michael is jealous of him back in MITB. it’s likely a result of the squip’s manipulation but i feel like mind-blindness is a factor, even if jeremy switches between struggling to process others’ emotions and being extremely empathetic.

michael’s special interest saves the day!!! :D

the whole fight b/w jeremy and michael, assuming it comes from a genuine place of repressed bitterness, has a lot of added subtext with them both being autistic. jeremy accusing michael of “giving up” on social interaction, michael envies jeremy for trying bc michael is clearly Not comfortable in most large social settings, jeremy envies michael for his pride, it just hits home for me i guess

rich calling michael “antisocial headphones kid” honestly how is michael not canon autistic

in the off-bway version michael briefly speaks too loud forgetting that jeremy’s head still hurts which is a relatable Forgot About Boundaries thing. plus him smacking rich playfully forgetting that rich is Still In Pain

“voices in my head” works nice as a fuck-societal-norms-and-just-be-happy song. “embrace the traits that make you so odd” in particular :’)

jeremy remembering christine’s infodump about her obscure bowling alley performance art idea and bringing it up to her again!!!

the squip doesn’t go away because ableism and the anxiety it brings and all the upsetting symptoms of autism don’t go away, but with the right support and confidence you can live with them!!! good message for mental disorders in general and works very well in this context!!!

so in conclusion.....be more chill is autistic pride!!!

#be more chill #bmc #actuallyautistic #autistic headcanons #long post #be more neurodivergent #queue are so busted

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underwaterwoods · 5 years ago

Text

so i saw the star war

spoilers ahoy

i guess this is just gonna be random bullet points

* i actually feel pretty chill about it. yay for being spoiled. also like.... if you ignore the ridiculous stuff there’s actually a lot to have fun with in this one. i don’t know how i’ll feel about it once i’ve processed it more. i just know i had fun while watching it, which i know isn’t true for everybody. i totally understand the negativity - it all makes sense to me. i’m just glad i sort of.... FORCED myself to have enough distance to just go in like ‘i’M PrepArED fOr wHAtEveR’

*i did like all the jumping around between locations in the first half and how ben would show up everywhere rey was. what a ‘you’re everywhere i go’ pairing. /chef’s kiss/. also having the different locations gives a sense of spaciousness (even if it’s all happening over a short period of time) which i missed in tlj.

*one of the things that gave me the most joy as the hux thing ??? X’’’D it was EXACTLY like that ‘the farce awakens’ ep where hux LITERALLY JOINS THE RESISTANCE cuz he can’t stand kylo. like what kind of fanfic...... how do the hux fans out there feel? (i really love the hux fans they’re a great bunch XD). shame that he was gone right after though.

* i actually enjoyed the trio dynamic? like i get the desire to move away from ‘trio mentality’ but the rey/poe tension with finn as mediator was fun. and finn and poe as joint generals? adorable. shame that the whole finn/poe thing got a bit clouded by.... stormpilot baiting and rose erasure and all the things... Also i’m not anti any character - i like zorii - but.... let poe stay a gay icon? i guess he can still be a queer icon it’s all good i’m down for whatever.

*speaking of finn.... loved seeing more of his humour back. didn’t love that there was no unpacking of how he feels taking out stormtroopers. but loved the found family of jannah and the other ex-stormtroopers. i feel like that gave SOME resolution/depth to finn’s origins. and finn being a non force user but seemingly super attuned to the force and its ways? i can roll with that.

*more speaking of finn... i wonder what they were doing with the ‘thing he wants to tell rey that he never gets to tell rey’. seems like an obvious ‘i love you’ thing. but at the same time we got reylo (/basks in that for a second/). it feels to me like throwing a bone to the finnrey people? like they didn’t get it in this movie but it could be a thing in the future? regaurdless, i did like how finn and rey were very connected and back to that loving friendship they had in tfa. we never quite got the ‘you have a force bond with the supreme leader?!!’ conversation but we got.... SOME conversation.

* speaking of the supreme leader... kinda love that we got renperor AND ben solo TM. i prefer to view ben more holistically (he is both ‘ben’ and ‘kylo’) but i get that making them two distinct identities was a helpful shortcut of sorts. he could ‘kill’ kylo and switch to being ben in a single scene. i always prefer Soft Boi Ben but if we were gonna get Bad Boy Kylo i’m glad they established it right out the gate. it was like ok, this is what to expect; this is where we’re at with this character.

*ben with his costume change at the end....... omg. gave me BIG smuggler!Ben vibes. urgh, give me all the AUs. ben deserves more.

*the amount of swagger when he was fighting the KOR

*idk i feel like i’m not even touching on the big stuff. this was just a ‘get all my side thoughts out of my system’ post.

*adam’s smile after the kiss though......... ... /the most beautiful thing in this world/

*truly iconic that people were right about the strategic, covert introduction of force healing via baby yoda like one month before tros.

*oh yeah it was wILD that so much of the imagery from the trailers/tv spots etc was in like the first five mintues of the movie ??? i totally assumed the ‘i have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head’ moment would be climactic rather than right up front

*oh yeah the vader mask.... that didn’t really mean anything in the end then did it?

* re: ben’s death. maybe it’s because i was braced for it but in some ways it’s the best way he could have gone. he was definitely happy and reunited with the light - both through love of rey and of his family. hIGHKey could have done with ben’s force ghost also appearing at the end? the only good thing about not seeing it is.... LF deciding to retcon his death ? ??XD obs they’re not gonna but if you want a crackpot silver lining there it is.

*what exactly does rey’s future look like, may i ask?

* oh yeah, Passing The Saber Through The Force. maybe my favourite moment. the force bond as a bare concept is so romantic to me i would watch a whole trilogy just exploring the magic system of that - it’s limitations and possibilities.

* i do like that jj developed the visual style of the bond. we got to see them occupying the same space, the way each of them would be seeing the other (’can you see my surroundings, i can’t see yours, just you’)

*i miss that rian johnson sound editing on the bond though..... god, the iNTIMACY of the tlj bond scenes....

*’i DID want to take your hand’

*also just the word choice of ‘take your hand’/ ‘i offered you my hand’. it’s extremely marriage.

*there was also a moment in the hanger when ben was like ‘we’re one’ basically? he was saying it in the context of rey’s lineage but still...............the validation. one soul.

*palps was like ‘you live and die together’ which made me REALLY think of skytalkers podcast. obviously assumed they would both have to LIVE together but.... /deep sigh/

*blah this could go on forever i’ll add more later

edit #1:

* OH YEAH! reverse anidala was such a thing! why did it have to be SO reverse anidala though? X’D instead of taking her life, he gives her his own. (i know it’s not clear anakin totally killed padme etc etc but ya feel me)

* ok i hate that ben died obvs obvs but, taking that for what it is, it was very romeo and juliet. i kinda love just the imagery of it. like... the physical blocking/choreography of adam getting daisy into his arms, holding her, then he falls and it’s her holding him. the way she catches his neck. really reminded me of the smoothness of the bridal carry. and rey’s flexed foot in that moment of shock. love the body language. back to that kind of ‘’staccato’’ rey of tfa days.

edit #2:

*lololol @ LF trying to establish how ‘bad’ kylo is by having him kill a bunch of people in the beginning. it was just.... Hot.

edit #3:

* rose deserves better. obviously. she looked so good though. i like that she had some moments with connix too.

* ben called han ‘dad’......

*ben standing there, overlooking the waves, with his leG EXTENDED BEFORE HIM. wanderer above a sea of fog. wanderer above a sea of foggg.

* rey having compassion for the snake thing. we been knew. kinda nice to have it in there. obviously good set up for ~later force healing shenanigans~

* OH YEAH OH YEAH. i kept thinking about atla. i know people have been making comparisons to it from the start and i’ve been DEEPLY INTO those comparisons. but it was truly a blessing for me to remember.... there is a version of this out there that you love and that is Good Content TM. legit i can just go watch atla again to heal from this. omg yeah cuz REY HEALING HIS WOUND ALSO HEALED HIS SCAR. very crystal cave.......... nah but nah but - the ‘you are every jedi’ was EXTREMELY avatar-esk..... like, engage avatar state. i don’t like how it ended up being the same old conflict between jedi and sith - ‘good’ and ‘bad’ - OBVIOUSLY THE POINT IS TO INTEGRATE THE CONFLICTING PARTS OF SELF; THE SHADOW SIDE; TO TRANSCEND OLD DICHOTOMIES - but i did love hearing all the voices from past jedi. that’s some good ‘the ancestors are with you’ shit.

edit #4:

* i think the first thing we hear rey say is ‘be with me’? ngl i was like ‘pls be invoking the force bond’ X’D i am a clown. that was a beautiful shot though. and love that a version of the bond kicked in like two seconds after that.

edit #5:

*there’s that bit where reylo are fighting on the death star ruins and he’s winning and rey kinda falls to her knees panting and lowkey defeated and, not to be a shallow bitch but..... it was Hot.

*also dark rey......... was HOT. SHE WAS SO KIRA, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS, AND I WAS INTO IT LIKE HNGGGG

*obvs i wanted rey to be truly no one. but casting jodie comer as rey’s mum ? ????? urgh, pefection, i love it.

*palps was so random i stg..... his plan was.... convoluted to say the least.

*also who was under all those hoods?

*the KOR just kinda... being around again was hilarious. no explaination required. the boys are back in town. ben facing them without a mask and essentially wearing his pjs? loved it.

edit #6:

*seriously though ben’s redemption outfit.............. /heart eyes emoji into the sunset/.......... you can see his collar bone.............. /cares about the important things/.................

edit #7:

*one thing i loved about the reylo was how Space Wizards TM they both were in this movie. it so highlights their connection by making it clear that they are each other’s only peer. i thought it would be a thing of ‘why is the supreme leader constantly interacting with/going after this girl?’ but it’s not because it’s so clear that they are the only two people on each others’ level. no one would dare question the fact that they’re constantly circling each other in a lustful murderous rage.

#tros spoilers #tros reaction #3 #4 #5 #mtp #the rise of skywalker #star wars #this is messy as hell #just getting some thoughts down

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commentaryvorg · 6 years ago

Text

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 3.5

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time in chapter 3, Kaito ditched the training that would have helped him feel at least a little better thanks to his delightful idiotic selflessness, Maki and Shuichi discussed why Kaito has been good for them (hint: not because he’s invincible) and Maki started opening up just a little about her awful past, the student council became a dictatorship, and Kaito was still not able to properly be himself despite trying as hard as he could.

Now it’s free time again.

Kokichi: “I went to check on the manhole, but it was covered in debris. But Gonta’s simple. Do you think he’d move it for us if we gave him a little nudge?”

Like you actually care about that tunnel when you never did before. When you were the one to manipulate everyone else out of even thinking about trying it again, because you’re a coward.

(The game designers actually did put rubble on the manhole, for the record.)

Gonta: “Oh, Shuichi… Um… Gonta is member of student council now… Angie tell Gonta, he need to set good example. So Gonta no can spend time with you! Sorry!”

Oh, Gonta. Of course he wouldn’t question it, but it makes blatantly no sense how him not hanging out with Shuichi could be “setting a good example”. Surely the best way for him to set a good example would be to actually hang out with Shuichi and spend the time acting in the proper student council way (whatever the hell that is) so that Shuichi can learn from that example? Angie doesn’t care about setting a good example at all and is just manipulating Gonta.

But it’s not just Gonta – literally everybody in the student council will refuse to hang out with you today. The others who aren’t Gonta don’t even give you a reason; they just tell you to go away and leave them alone.

So, given that plus the fact that Kaito is also still holed up in his room feeling too unwell to hang out, this means that for today’s two free time slots, there are only four options out of the eleven surviving non-Shuichi characters: Kokichi, Kiyo, Miu, and Maki.

It should go without saying that there is only one correct choice here. There is no conceivable universe in which Shuichi, if left to his own devices and not controlled by a player with separate opinions from him, would actively choose to spend his free time with any of Kokichi, Kiyo or Miu in this situation. I could maybe imagine him deciding to tolerate one of them if they were his only options, but not when there’s also the option of him spending time with a Maki whom he’s already started to become friends with.

That’s part one of the reason I didn’t hang out with Maki yesterday. Part two is that Maki’s FTEs are written such that her third one and onwards clearly canonically take place only after a specific scene in chapter 4. So the only way for today’s two FTEs to make any sense in terms of keeping Shuichi in character and in terms of keeping their contents in line with canon is if they’re spent doing Maki’s first and second events. That’s why I couldn’t do them yesterday, and that’s what we’re doing today.

Maki: “If you want to know my job, then I don’t mind talking about it. It won’t be a problem.”

Implying talking about something else might be a problem? Perhaps it’s not a surprise her first FTE is spent talking simply about the logistics of how her job works – that’s easier to talk about than how she feels about it, and much easier than talking about her normal life back at the orphanage that she can never have back.

Maki: “It’s a new cult. From behind the scenes, it trains assassins.”

Shuichi: “Th-That sounds… made up.”

I don’t know if you’re noticing a pattern here, Shuichi.

Also, remember your alligator hunt? Your own past sounds a little bit made up too.

Maki: “There are several assassins besides me, but no one is devout. We don’t really get along with each other anyway, so I wouldn’t know.”

It’s implied later in Maki’s FTEs that all of her cult’s assassins are child slaves like her. It’s a shame they couldn’t be friends and help each other through this awful ordeal… but of course their training would condition them not to think of each other that way.

Maki: “When the time comes, assassins will be cut and disposed of.”

…That and getting attached to a fellow assassin in this cult sounds like a recipe for heartbreak anyway. I wouldn’t be surprised if the cult leaders dealt with any troublesome friendships between their assassins by forcing the friends to fight to the death and keeping whichever one survived.

This line is also, of course, implying that the cult was just going to kill Maki off once she was no longer useful to them (possibly when she reached adulthood and was therefore too likely to start thinking for herself and fighting back?), so that’s a thing.

Shuichi: “…” (Her tone hadn’t changed. She’s just accepted it. …What did I say to put her in that state of mind?)

It wasn’t you who did that, Shuichi! It was the awful people she works for! She’s had no choice but to accept it; it’s the only way she can cope with it.

Kokichi: “Aw, maaan, stupid student council! Maybe we should just get Maki to ‘clean’ them up!”

Oh, so now you’re okay with the fact that Maki’s an assassin, when she’s only potentially going to kill someone who’s inconvenient to you and not you yourself? That’s noble of you.

If you try and talk to Tenko here, you catch her looking really worried for a second before she snaps herself out of it and goes into I’m-totally-on-the-student-council mode. Probably worrying about Himiko, heh.

Gonta: “…Sorry! Gonta no can spend time with you… Cuz Gonta member of student council. Shuichi… will you join student council? Please? If everyone join… we all can spend time together with Atua.”

Aww, Gonta! He really wants to be able to spend time with Shuichi and thinks that the only way for that to be possible is if Shuichi joins the council too. He has no comprehension of how fucked up it is that Angie is forbidding him from being friends with half of the people here as a price for him getting to “be useful”.

(He’s also hanging out in the room with the manhole, making me wonder if he’s sort of regretting covering it up.)

Maki is hanging out under the terrace at the training spot, which makes me smile.

Maki: “…Is Kaito alright? He complains about others, but he can’t even take care of himself… Irresponsible idiot…”

Look at Maki being worried about Kaito! She really is a lot more caring than she thinks – and cares about Kaito a lot more than she lets on considering that she claimed two nights ago she was only training to stop him from bugging her.

She’s also completely right. Usually when someone calls Kaito an idiot I try and argue that that’s not quite the right word, but, in this context? No, his inability to look after himself – to even want to try to – really is incredibly stupid of him.

Maki: “I mostly have knives. Also poison, sniper rifles, jiu-jitsu, bombs—”

Maki’s go-to weapon of choice being a knife is certainly going to be relevant later, as is the fact that she knows a thing or two about poisons. (No mention of crossbows, though. Apparently that’s not a common one for her.)

Shuichi: “…So what kind of people have you assassinated?”

Maki: “What do you mean?”

Shuichi: “Well, I only know about assassinations from movies and stuff, so…”

Maki: “…This will probably disappoint you, but I don’t kill only bad people.”

Shuichi: “…”

Maki: “I kill anyone on my orders list. It doesn’t matter who the person is.”

Shuichi: “I suppose that’s just the way it is.”

It kind of sounds here like Shuichi was fishing for a reason to try and think that Maki’s not such a bad person because maybe she only kills bad people – and Maki picked up on that and deliberately shut him down. She could easily have instead talked about the reasons she kills people and the fact that she really has very little choice in the matter, but she didn’t, because she still feels like Shuichi should think she’s a bad person.

Maki: “…But, I’ve also had to dispose of people who I knew well.”

Shuichi: “Huh? Like who?”

Maki: “Friends from school.”

…This is probably part of the reason she feels that way. It turns out she’s only talking about one single friend, someone who was the daughter of a yakuza leader, but still. Couldn’t the assassin cult have given that job to a different assassin? No, they probably wanted her on the job because she already knew the target well and they didn’t give a fuck about how she felt because their child slave assassins are just tools to them. God damnit.

(More to the point, god damnit Tsumugi not easing up even a little on the mountain of awfulness you’ve given this poor girl to deal with.)

Shuichi: “Just make sure you don’t forget her.”

Maki: “Why are you looking at me like that? I don’t have time to remember every face I killed.”

I think it’s less that she doesn’t have time than that if she remembered every single person she’s killed then the weight of that guilt would absolutely crush her. She’d obviously try and make a point to not remember them as much as possible, simply so that she can keep going.

Maki: “But… I actually do remember her. Is this… …No, it’s nothing.”

…But of course a friend that she’d killed would be someone she couldn’t forget even if she tried to. This is you regretting it, Maki, and feeling bad about it, because you’re not a heartless killer who kills without remorse, however much you try and tell yourself you are.

Maki: “Everyone does what they can to live. You, me… and everyone I’ve murdered. I kill. But I can also be killed. That’s all.”

This is actually a really respectable mindset for Maki to have, given that she’s an assassin. She fully accepts that the people she kills had reasons to live and yet she killed them anyway – and in order to not be a hypocrite about that, she also accepts that she can be killed at any time despite her own reasons to live. (Said reasons are, of course, the kids at her orphanage, not that she’s ready to talk about that yet.)

Nighttime comes around again, which means more training… and more Kaito not feeling well enough to train.

Shuichi: (I’m worried about him…) “I wonder if Kaito’s okay… I hope he’s feeling a little better.”

Can we take another moment to appreciate how adorable it is that Shuichi is this worried about Kaito. They are friends.

Kaito: “O-Oh, hey bro… Perfect timing. I gotta apologize to you, too…”

Kaito, you’re not supposed to apologise when something’s not your fault.

So here’s part of the reason I kept stressing Kaito’s convictions about apologising – because as it turns out, under certain circumstances, he will break his own principles on this and apologise more than he believes a person should, even when he hasn’t done anything wrong. Specifically, the times when he does this are when he feels like he’s let his sidekicks down. No matter how much he didn’t want to do so, no matter how much the reasons for him having done so aren’t remotely his fault, it’s still something he feels like he has to apologise for, just for having done it at all.

Recall how the main reason Kaito believes you shouldn’t apologise when something’s not your fault is so that you don’t go making yourself feel bad for no reason. But when this is applied to him? Apparently he doesn’t care about not making himself feel bad unnecessarily. If he let down his sidekicks, even though he never meant to, then he should feel bad about it, right?

(This isn’t the first time he’s apologised for this, either – it just seemed most appropriate to talk about it here, since he’s making a point that he believes he has to apologise. No, Kaito, you don’t.)

Kaito: “It’s pathetic, but… I haven’t been able to eat or sleep much since yesterday.”

It’s not pathetic! You’re sick! That’s not your fault and not something to be ashamed of!

Part of this is down to the fact that the real reason for him feeling this way is his phobia, and Kaito feels like he should be able to not let that get to him so much and stop him from functioning normally. But no, that still counts as him being ill, just in a mental illness sort of way instead, so it still isn’t his fault.

Mind you, even his phobia wasn’t involved, I feel like Kaito would be calling himself pathetic anyway, just for being sick and having the sickness hinder his ability to do stuff. Which, you know, given that he is also physically sick and that’s going to be affecting him more and more from here on, is pretty relevant.

Kaito: “I think I’ll get better if… I just rest a little longer, y’know?”

This sounds sensible. This would be Kaito dealing with his sickness in a reasonable way and making efforts to take care of himself, if he really was just physically ill.

But since that’s not what’s wrong with him right now, this is actually almost entirely an excuse so that he can hide away in his room and not risk letting Shuichi and Maki see that he’s scared of ghosts, which he believes is even more pathetic of him than just being sick. After all, I went over yesterday how him coming to train with them would be more likely to help him feel better about this than staying shut up in his room. And we know that when he really is just sick and nothing else and absolutely should be looking after himself and resting, he won’t even try to.

Shuichi: “Yeah… sure, Kaito. Do what you have to do.”

Shuichi is smiling and being glad that Kaito is going to look after himself. Man, he has no idea how much of an idiot his friend really is.

Kaito: “We’d have to reschedule our training sessions either way, come to think of it… The student council said being out after nighttime was prohibited, right?”

This is so unlike Kaito and it’s heartbreaking. He would never usually let anyone push him around and tell him what to do. His phobia really is just draining his emotional strength in a way that absolutely cannot be his fault, because if he had any control over it, he would refuse to let this happen to himself.

Maki: “If you’re feeling sick, that’s one thing. But I don’t want you to change the training schedule. You don’t… need to do that.”

And I love that Maki realises just how unlike Kaito this is and she hates it! It was Kaito’s indomitable stubbornness that got through to her and convinced her to change in the first place. She hates that he seems to be compromising that part of himself now. If he’s not really that ridiculously stubborn person after all, then why the hell did she even begin to change?

Maki: “…Do you want to die?”

Shuichi: “D-Die!?”

Maki: “Oh, sorry… That’s an old habit. Just pretend you didn’t hear that.”

Here’s the first instance of her catchphrase! That’s a landmark. Let’s appreciate: A, how fucked-up it is that she developed this catchphrase at some point during her training presumably as some kind of twisted black comedy coping mechanism, and B, how safe she feels around Shuichi and Kaito by now that she’s able to let herself use it in front of them without being afraid they’re going to think she really wants to kill them.

Maki: “Anyway… I don’t want to give up now. I’ve finally started to think about… how I can confront it. So… if I have to train alone, so be it.”

She’s talking about her “enemy”! She’s really committed to figuring out how she can get stronger and find a way to like herself, and she’s thinking of these training sessions as a way to help her do that! Kaito has been so, so good for her!

…And Kaito’s apparently in too much of a state to even respond to that and be able to feel proud of how far she’s come already, which makes me sad. Hopefully he still noticed it, though? That can be something for him to think about while he’s cooped up in his room, to take his mind off the resurrection ritual and get his phobia to leave him the hell alone.

Shuichi: “…Maybe it’s just because you’re not feeling well, but this is really unlike you, Kaito. I never imagined that you would obey Angie. I thought you did whatever you wanted.”

Shuichi also cares about how Very Not Kaito this is of him! Don’t worry, Shuichi – it is just because he’s not feeling well. He would never compromise his principles if he had any control over it.

Kaito: “Shuichi, I’m sorry, but… can I leave the training to you until I’m feeling better?”

I can’t be completely certain because this is one of those ways in which English is ambiguous, but… I’m pretty sure that’s meant to be a singular “you” there. (When Kaito uses a plural “you”, he usually says “you guys”.) It’s almost like he’s asking Shuichi to take his place and be the figure of support and motivation for Maki’s growth. Like he wouldn’t ask Shuichi and Maki to support each other, because he feels like Shuichi doesn’t really need as much support any more – but since Maki still does, Shuichi is enough of a “hero” that he’d be capable of providing it.

(And look at Kaito still apologising about not being able to be there for them himself.)

Shuichi: “Maki, about Kaito… You shouldn’t worry about it. He’s just feeling a little weak because he’s sick, I’m sure he’s not—”

…not being such an irresponsible idiot that he’d flake out on the unshakeable stubbornness that convinced you to change in the first place, Maki. Again, Shuichi understands just how much Kaito cares about trying to back up his own words and that any appearances to the contrary are misleading. That if he doesn’t appear to be trying to do that right now, then there must be a really damn good reason for it and it’s not just that he doesn’t really care after all.

But before they can start training, Tenko shows up, and Maki gives her her most terrifying glare.

Tenko: “You probably want me to leave, right? But… I won’t run away.”

[Maki drops the glare]

Maki: “I’m not here to fight you… and I don’t think you’re here to enforce the curfew.”

Seems like maybe Maki was only glaring so terrifyingly to test Tenko, assuming that if she was here on behalf of the student council then it would have scared her off, and the fact that she stayed anyway means that she’s here for a more important reason. It is pretty brave of Tenko to be asking Maki for help, and to not break under her terrifying glare, after she showed signs of feeling threatened by Maki earlier in the chapter.

Maki: “You’re not brainwashed… Does that mean you willingly joined the student council? That sounds… worse.”

Pfft, that’s just like Maki to think that – being brainwashed wouldn’t be her fault, but joining it willingly would just be her being stupid.

Tenko: “I only believe in Aikido! As long as I have that, I can’t be swayed by anything! Aikido values mental fortitude, and Aikido moves are a reflection of that fortitude.”

Look at how much Tenko cares about sticking to her convictions! Have I mentioned how much she and Kaito would get along swimmingly if it weren’t for her stupid annoying prejudices.

(Which have barely been brought up at all in this chapter, by the way, and I very much appreciate that. Again, this chapter’s writing is worse in a lot of regards, but significantly better with how it handles Tenko.)

Tenko: “I think… Himiko has gotten so lazy, she’s given up on thinking for herself…”

It’s a shame that not even Tenko understands the fact that Himiko’s problem isn’t that she’s lazy but that she’s horribly depressed. Laziness as bad as Himiko’s doesn’t exist. That’s just what people call depression when they don’t realise what it is.

Tenko: “Angie… truly believes in Atua. She believes that she is under Atua’s protection. That’s why… she does whatever she wants. She thinks she’s Atua’s vessel, so she doesn’t feel guilty about anything she does.”

And that’s Angie’s character. At the very least, there’s no active malice about her, but even so, she’s deluded into believing that her whims are always right and she doesn’t have any culpability for her actions. So still not a great person.

Maki: “And that’s why you want me to kill her?”

Shuichi: “Huh!?”

Maki: “Asking someone like me for a ‘favor’ can only mean one thing.”

Maki, no! Even though she’s been making some progress, she still sees herself as just a tool that others use to kill people and assumes that’s surely the only reason anyone would ever want her help. How could she possibly ever help anyone in some way other than that? Guh.

Tenko: “I… won’t deny that. I’ve wanted her gone even before all this happened… And I think everyone has wanted someone to die at least once in their life… But going through with it is a different thing! It’s wrong for a person to commit murder! It doesn’t matter what the reason is!”

I really like this! I like that it shows that Tenko’s not a perfect person and her jealousy of Angie getting more of Himiko’s attention has led her to have some pretty dark, twisted thoughts – but she’s still a good enough person in her principles that she would never even consider consciously acting on those thoughts.

This is also setup for the part in the trial where people start suspecting that Tenko killed Angie and then herself – in order to move past that assumption, Shuichi has to trust that what Tenko is saying now is the truth. Which it is.

Maki: “Do you… realize who you’re talking to?”

Tenko: “Oh! I’m so sorry! That’s not what I meant…”

Apparently Maki took Tenko’s speech as an attempt to guilt trip her specifically. It’s not like Maki doesn’t also believe killing is wrong, but she still hates herself enough for doing it that she feels people have every right to attack her for it and automatically assumed Tenko was doing that. In reality, to someone not in Maki’s position, it’s pretty clear that Tenko’s speech was mostly to herself, to remind herself that her desire to see Angie dead is wrong and stop herself from acting on it.

Tenko: “That’s why I came to ask you two! You’re the only ones who can stop Angie!”

Shuichi: “Only us?”

Tenko: “Well… I obviously can’t ask Kokichi, Miu, or Kiyo. And Kaito’s not feeling well, y’know?”

Look at Tenko considering her best options to include Shuichi and Kaito without a single comment about how male they are! And treating Kokichi and Kiyo like bad options because they’re shitty people and not because of their gender! Tenko is at her best when the writers completely forget about her stupid prejudices and I wish they were just never a thing at all.

Shuichi: “We didn’t even answer yet!”

Tenko: “Grghhhhh! Quit complaining and do this favor for me, you degenerate! I’m even bowing to you! And I would never do that for any male!”

…Well, mostly. At least the writing acknowledges that she’s willing to put aside her prejudice for this.

Maki: “So what will you do, Shuichi? This seems like something you’d ignore.”

Shuichi: (This is something I’d ignore? Who do you think I am…?)

…Apparently Maki isn’t a great judge of people? I don’t see why it shouldn’t be pretty clear to her by now that Shuichi would care about stopping the potential motive. I guess she’s mostly seen the meek, nervous Shuichi that he is outside of investigations and trials and assumes that he’d be too passive to take action here.

Man, those Flashback Lights can do some serious work if they can make an ordinary, untalented person into someone capable of creating these near-perfect waxworks of people who aren’t even there anymore for her to use as reference. This is one of the parts of the whole implanted-talents thing that’s a little difficult to buy, but, eh, let’s just go with it.

Maki: “You do such cruel things so innocently.”

That’s saying a lot coming from Maki… or maybe not, as someone who has done plenty of cruel things herself but who had to become so, so far from innocent to be capable of doing them. She still realises that they’re cruel, and she still sees this – creating lifelike representations of their dead friends – as an act of cruelty even though she herself is probably desensitised to it and not as creeped out as the others.

Maki: “You try persuading her first. Detectives are good at talking, right?”

Shuichi: (I feel like she might have some misconceptions about detectives… But I know Maki isn’t very good at persuading people. So it’s up to me.)

Look at Maki again assuming she’s worthless at doing anything except killing people. She probably wouldn’t actually be that bad at persuading people if she tried – she has a very blunt, pragmatic way of approaching issues, but that can be kind of useful sometimes.

Shuichi also isn’t the greatest at persuasion either. Too bad the most persuasive person they have is currently shut away in his room not feeling like his usual self.

Shuichi: “The effigies were nearly perfect, but the real bodies still had traces of a soul. A soul desperate to live, struggling, fighting for life… That’s something that can never be replicated.”

This is a bit of a weirdly poetic way of putting it, because I’m going to assume Shuichi isn’t being completely literal here. (Kaito would balk at hearing his sidekick talk like souls are things that really exist.) I imagine what he really means by this is that looking at the bodies gave the sense that they were once alive, and you can’t copy that by creating a fake body that was never alive at all.

Shuichi: “No matter what technology you have, you can’t fake a soul.”

…Not quite in the way Shuichi is thinking of it, you can’t. But Flashback Lights can create entirely new “souls” and shove them into living bodies to overwrite the one currently existing there, as it turns out. Even “souls” that are exact copies of previously existing ones, if one wanted that. So in a sense, the technology to fake a soul actually does exist here.

Angie: “Hmm, are we done talking now? Cuz I’m still busy preparing for the ritual.”

What other preparation is there to do? All that’s left is to burn the Necronomicon and sprinkle its ashes on Rantaro’s effigy. If Angie went to get a candle for that right now instead of randomly at 2am, then she wouldn’t get murdered tonight.

Angie: “It’s safe to say that Tenko has betrayed the student council, right?”

I don’t think she’s realised that Tenko was never even on board in the first place. Not that she actually cares about being betrayed, because she doesn’t care about anything except her own whims, and Tenko’s trust or betrayal has no bearing on that.

Himiko: “Nyeh!? She betrayed us!? That sounds like a big problem, but if you’re saying ‘it’s nothing’, then…”

Himiko shows up and hears this and seems to actually care about being betrayed for a moment – you know, like a person with feelings would – before slipping back into being brainwashed and worshipping Angie.

Tenko: “Please, snap out of it! Aren’t you a mage?”

Himiko: “That hurts… let me go…”

Tenko: “Himiko, why can’t you see that you’ve been brainwashed? If you can’t even see that, then… you’re not a real mage at all!”

I like how Tenko tries to appeal to Himiko’s belief in her “magic”. She knows that’s very important to Himiko, kind of like Tenko’s own belief in her Aikido that she was talking about earlier, or at least she’s hoping that it is and that this will help her get through to Himiko.

Tenko: “Feeling angry? If you are, then show it! Get mad! Get upset! Yell at me! Just fight back already! Do something!”

It’s also sweet how Tenko wouldn’t even mind Himiko getting mad at her just so long as she starts showing some kind of emotion and facing up to her own feelings. I appreciate Tenko’s feelings towards Himiko the most when they cause her to try and help Himiko selflessly like this, without the ulterior motive of trying to get with her that Tenko seems to have half the time she does anything involving Himiko (but which, again, isn’t really a thing in this chapter specifically and I appreciate that).

Tenko: “I-I’m so sorry! I can’t believe I just yelled at you!”

Because you had emotions, Tenko, and you acted on those, which is exactly what you’re trying to get Himiko to do! Don’t be ashamed of that!

Himiko: “…”

(Himiko didn’t look Tenko in the eyes.)

Here’s a small indication that Tenko did get through to her a little bit and that she’s ashamed she doesn’t have the courage to do what Tenko wants her to and face up to her emotions.

Tenko: “Augh… I know she’d never hate me, but she’ll demote me from best friend to just a friend!”

Maki: “You guys were best friends?”

Tenko: “Well, if you round up to the nearest whole number, we were basically best friends!”

Shuichi: (I feel like you’re rounding up a little too much there…)

Yeeeaaaah, Tenko is absolutely deluding herself about how much she and Himiko are friends. At least Maki and Shuichi (and therefore the narrative, too) are aware of this.

Tenko: “Don’t worry! I’ll use my own words to apologize to Himiko!”

Admirable as it is that Tenko wants to apologise to Himiko… if we go by Kaito’s logic regarding apologies, then she shouldn’t really do so. She still meant what she said about wanting Himiko to show her anger and would still stand by that now, and it did get through to Himiko just a little bit. Without Tenko’s outburst just now and her future, admittedly rather less heated speech about it just before she gets killed, Himiko might not have been able to change at all. That is absolutely not something Tenko should apologise for. Perhaps she should apologise for the way in which she said it here, but not for what she meant by it.

Maki: “She bounced back rather fast… I guess I didn’t need to worry.”

Shuichi: “Ah, you were worried?”

Maki: “…Huh? Is it weird for me to worry?”

Nope! It’s really starting to look like it’s not weird at all to see that from you, isn’t it, Maki.

Maki: “…Do you want to die?”

Shuichi: “…Ah!” (There’s that habit again! Well, I suppose on the positive side, she’s able to act more like herself around me.)

Aww, Shuichi’s realised that Maki beginning to use that catchphrase is a sign of her growth, even if the phrase itself is kind of alarming until you get used to it.

Shuichi: “But I’m glad.” (Especially now that I’m able to talk about things more with Maki.)

He’s glad that they’re becoming friends! Did you know this game is about friends.

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