#cuz im a normie

[spookberry]

Why is the Pool at Haunted High an actual giant cup of water tho

(Previous) (next)

[flightlesscipher]

now who gave him permission 2 do all dat😵‍💫👀

[freaky-flawless]

This whole time I always thought of Monster High Zombies as rising from the grave, or in Ghoulia's case being born (which I figure is a pretty rare occurrence) but I never considered the idea of them being bitten and turned...

[silly-ehggy]

Erm........ hey guysg

[subconsciousmysteries]

it pains me to announce that if you got fucked over by someone with a mental illness and now you project that mental illness onto everyone mildly strange who you come into contact with

you too are MENTALLY ILL and you need to stop scapegoating others for your problems because you are the fucking problem.

[himbopunk]

unfortunately if marriage does come up i feel like caterina would say something weird about lucanis and hakim still technically being able to have a kid [biologically]. lucanis apologizes about it profusely when they get home/are in private and hakim won't stop teasing him about it. neve probably also joins in on the teasing him about it.

[sunsoak]

Bring back bumpers

[othercrossee]

ARGirtuals r kinda special to me at this hour

[haikyooot]

asLF KAJWEFLKAWEJF FRIENDS ... are any of you guys old enough to remember this?????  😭 😭 😭 😭

[sof182]

why isthis so badass im gonna Die

WYD WHEN MY GANG PULLUP….🤑🤑

[spookberry]

oops been a while since (part 3) of this au

[maddestmao]

im so fucking baffled when i see normal ass people (derogatory) following me on bsky or twitter

like one, where the fuck did u come from, and two, what goes thru ur head when u see me posting obsessively about a fictional man and using fighting game jargon, don't u think im a fucking weirdo?? go away, ur in the wrong neighborhood!!

this is why i like tumblr, everyone here is weird (complimentary)

update: ok nevermind, this was set off by an older guy in my replies on bsky and on first glance he was a total normie, i scrolled thru his profile thinking he must be a bot cuz all he does is be a reply guy and retweet uk politics. eventually came across him happily replying to a chubby narmaya drawing, ur alright richard im sorry for judging u and i accept u as a fellow weirdo tho ur timeline is absolute dogshit

[mysterioushistorian]

KUPRUM: >OBEY.

FOLYKL: what

FOLYKL: dude    you look worse   than usual      and that pastel godtier outfit was         already gay enough     whatever that word   means

FOYLKL: the fuck did you     do to him

)(IC: isnt he beautiful

FOLYKL: i know u want to      be wrapped in     her tentacles and all     but cmon dude      shes right beside you      its your chance

)(IC: he wont listen to u gurl

)(IC: hes all mine now

)(IC: like how he always wanted to b rite?

)(IC: theres nofin u can do u disgustin voidrotten garbage motha fucka

FOLYKL: no wonder youre called      the batterwitch

FOLYKL: this coming from      me     a   witch myself

FOLYKL: also   im not even voidrotten anymore     see my      eyes      theyre back        im godtiered

)(IC: ya still gutterblood carp sides ur psionics weak as fuck

)(IC: ur useless as shit gurl u have no use for ma ass

)(IC: bitch u should be dead

)(IC: i aint cullin yo bulge buddy here cuz hes actually a powerful psionic

)(IC: always wanted to be a battery, whale hed make some fintastic use

)(IC: and hes under ma control now, right buoy?

KUPRUM: >ALL HAIL HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION.

KUPRUM: >ALL TRAITORS AND MISTAKES MUST BE ELIMINATED.

KUPRUM: >AND THAT INCLUDES YOU.

FOLYKL: holy shit   dude

FOLYKL: im gonna sound like a       fucking normie  right now     but kuprum dont you       recognize  me?  folykl?

)(IC: already told ya bitch )(E WONT LISTEN TO U

)(IC: a loyal soldier to da empire now, like how he was always destined to b

)(IC: and YOU

)(IC: soon dead, like how u were always destined to b

)(IC: what u already were supposed to b 

)(IC: now buoy

)(IC: get dat stinky ass DEAD

KUPRUM: >yes, your highness

KUPRUM: >folykl darane, i was wrong by helping you. as a loyal soldier to trizza and the condesce, i should have ELIMINATED you the first moment i set my bulbs on you.

KUPRUM: >BUT NOW YOURE DEAD LOL

FOLYKL: oh fuck

doc text, i had the idea for this interaction and i knew i had to write it

[belphiesgirlfriend]

Obey me! Brothers music taste headcanons

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more like ramblings than headcanons tbh but i had this stuck in my head and needed to get it out, also feel free to send requests for diff headcanons!

Cw’s: none!

Little bit satirical (i over exaggerate sometimes cuz it’s funny) but pretty in character overall i thinkk

——————————————————————————

Lucifer:

• You know this motherfucker listens to classical music and classical music only cuz he’s boring

• Okay but jokes aside i see him listening to like 30’s 40’s 50’s music especially the love songs.

• Like straight up fallout 4 soundtrack music, he’d listen to it while doing paperwork or unwinding

• He’d definitely be really prideful (no duh) about his taste in music, he’d feel all fancy and refined when he tells people

• Type of dude to be like “modern music simply can’t compare to the classics…” shut up grandpa we get it u know bach’s zodiac sign, penis size, and mothers maiden name

• Wants to be different so bad, he’d strictly listen to music from his vintage record player or some shit cause it’s the “most authentic” way to listen, fr acts like a manic pixie dream girl (he’d hit me upside the head if he heard me say that sorry luci🫶)

——————————————————————————

Mammon:

• r&b and spanish music

•but i feel like he’d like 2000s party music from all the clubbing and casinos

• def a weekend listener and like 90’s rap

• but also like i wouldn’t be surprised if he listened to some 90s rock too

• he’d listen 2 sublime or nirvana or local h (i’m projecting on the last one)

• but anyways he’d be a #1 rihanna fan he’d blast her music in his room but then deny liking her💀make it make sense!!

• also he knows her best album is loud CAUSE HE HAS TASTE!!

• also tyler the creator i get the vibe he’d love him

• kali uchis fan too

•ALSO i feel like he had a phase where he listened to juice wrld and was like “these cheating lying females….” after he got his heart broken by a witch YOU CANG TELL ME IM WRONG😭😭 it’s okay though cause he’s embarrassed by it now

• oh childish gambino too duh forgot about him

ALSO LET ME MENTION DINERO IS LITERALLY HIS SONG ITS ACTUALLY HIS

——————————————————————————

Levi:

• this one’s gonna be real fucking short IM SORRYYY

• he listens to anime openings and game soundtracks

• also vocaloid

• that’s literally all i can think of dude

• he’d be like “i don’t have time for normie music…”

• his room is literally that old caramelldansen meme from 2019/2020

——————————————————————————

Satan:

• this one was harder for me to pinpoint

• first instinct would be classical music but it’s canon he likes ska music too so 🤷‍♀️

• i really do feel like he’d listen to all types of music, like a true jack of all traits, if he likes it he likes it so his playlist is allllll over the place

• for some reason i get a vibe he’d really like 80s music in particular though

• the song that pops into my head is who can it be now? by men at work idk why

• maybe even older music i feel like he’d like sam cooke

• OH both him and belphie would like mazzy star and fiona apple idk why but they would

——————————————————————————

Asmo:

• okay crucify me for this one but…mitski I JUSG FEEL LIKE HE WOULD

• but i also see him loving lady gaga a lot cuz he has taste

•omg he’d listen to old katy perry too

•but yea also probably lil nas x he’d have a celeb crush on him

• oh tyler the creator too with his gay ass, him and mammon both love him, they def have done a duet to see u again

• he’d be a barb probably defend nicki too😭

• and as much as it pains me to say it, he’d fucking listen to ayesha erotica and be like “this is so good!!!”, hed post a devilgram story with one of her songs and then get cancelled on twitter

• “I made a severe and continuous lapse of judgement…” and then did the same thing a week later

——————————————————————————

Beel:

• type of guy when you ask him what music he listens to he goes “idk i don’t really listen to music”

• he legitimately looks up “hype playlist” on youtube to work out and that’s the extent of it

• really can’t see him being a big music guy

• if u invited him to a concert or something he’d go though for food

•he’d give you a piggy back ride so u can see better

• tbh if u were to put on music he would not care much no matter how good/bad it is

• you could walk in on him working out and literally listening 2 cbat or some shit

• HE LITERALLY IS CBAT GUY😭 he’d be like “i always use this song when i’m working out..

——————————————————————————

Belphie:

• emo fucker

• i feel like he’d like emo/ 90s rock ( but more “rockish” than mammons 90’s rock)

• but he’d also love any more relaxing music with softer vocals

• he’d be a deftones fan I KNOW GHATS FUCKING BASIC AND UR ROLLING UR EYES BUT LISTEN

• they have the combination of 90s rock but also more soothing calming vocals, theyd literally b perfect

• and for that reason his favorite albums r koi no yokan and saturday night wrist, also their self titled,

• would call mammon a poser for his music taste “nirvana isn’t even *real* rock idiot🙄”

• but nah, also like i said in satans fiona apple and mazzy star fan

• he’d suck so bad though he’d go on twitter and be like, “if you like deftones ur a poser” (while being their number 1 fan, fucking brat) then turn off his phone and take a nap for the funny

[that-hippie-user]

Taking a break, im NOT thirsty, and wont be for a bit.

my buzzy wand overheated and died, and that combined with my titty skittles acting as chemical chastity, AND repeated buzzy use, has temporarily ruined my ability to get off.

so. calling it here. i officially WON destroy your dick december.

and you know what? not worth it.

like, okay, its been AMAZING seeing my page's audience evolve as i just, shamelessly hornypost for all to see.

my blogs followers now consists of babs in the ab/dl community, rare agere folks who are chill even if they're way more Ace than even me, stealth babs who consistently leave likes for fear of how their audience would react to crinkly reblogs ( :3 i respect you, ya dropped this, king. *hands you diamond studded gold diaper. ), hypno-curious folks CONSISTENTLY asking me "wait, you do LEGIT hypnosis? :D whats that like? can i try?", chill normies who like my memes and humor, AND-

oddly enough... a LOT of trans women age 30 to 40, consistently in diapers, with consenting partners, actively unpottytraining themselves, and just living their best lives nomming on dino nuggies, rockin cozy onesies, and humpin blahaj sharks.

like... wow, you girlies have gotten the good end for us babs, and that gives hope for my future!

:3 ditto to the guys enbies and trans guys who achieved the same, you're all awesome.

XD but sweet jebus, i got too much attention here. i cant show EVERYONE what ab/dl brainwashing is like, and im not so sure i want to...

:/ hell, got so bad i went into "bad touch" mode recently and became grossed out by like... ALL this kink stuff. XD sometimes that just happens, my sexuality can just vanish, leaving me as a scared pubby who too smol for this stuff.

:/ i'm... still kinda in that mode tbh, and idk when itll end.

what i'm saying is, this is officially my haiitus.

XD cuz like... i need to rethink what i'm willing to do for myself and others. i'm poly, so casual naughty stuff is chill and all, but it feels weird spending quality 1 on 1 time with my favorite partners, and then immediately hitting up my tumblr followers (consensually) for cheap thrills. that... that doesnt seem healthy.

:P idk what's happening next, but i guess we'll wait and see. talking to my new therapist about it next month

[torchvic]

fuck this *flicks my little magic wand* your obey me cast is all transgender. here are my personal headcanons for that (putting this under a read more because this is A LOT)

the brothers r first because i was thinking abt this for one billion hours:

asmo is genderfluid and i think he'd use she/he pronouns. (we could also argue bigender asmo because that'd be cool also)

he/they transmasc mammon. literally they/them'd in a call and i saw a transmasc mammon headcanon and i think abt it all the time now.

it's been discussed here before but levi is nonbinary transfem. she uses they/she pronouns and i will die on this hill. also uses some type of neopronouns. gamer girlfailure /j (might be femcel. idk it might be the amount of times they use "normie") (i'm in love with her)

belphie is too tired to give a shit about gender. he says "no" if asked. they/it/he maybe. probably uses star/starself neos too cuz that stuff rocks (agender belphie anyone???)

beel uses any pronouns and doesn't rly label his gender i don't think. never really gave it much thought probably but i don't think he cares. love them lots. :3

i don't think satan really cares about gender either BUT i think he could identify with catgender (he/cat pronouns (maybe more) he'd use cat-centric neopronouns this has to be canon)

nonbinary lucifer is canon on my SOUL. they use they/she/he pronouns because they can and will.

then we got the silly goober dateables + small child luke:

diavolo got that demiboy swag and once he discovers neopronouns it's gonna be awesome. he/they/prince pronouns (or any other royal-centric ones)

barbatos is agender. bro is a time master lord guy they do NOT give a shit. they/them and maybe it/its depending on the day

solomon uses them all. every single pronoun. they've lived so fucking long that they just said "fuck it" or something and claimed all of them. he made the genderfluid in his cauldron and promptly drank it. uses neos too but there's a lot that fit here. maybe it's all of them too. i do think xe/xem (and other variations) are used though because i said so

i don't know if angels have a concept of gender or not. they/he simeon though something about him is nonbinary af luv u simeon

i'm not sure for luke because he's like... 10... but again idk if angels really have the gender concept at all (probably not they're supernatural beings. they all are actually). might be a mainly he/him user but doesn't mind it when other pronouns are used. idk the gender because hes a child but maybe he'll figure it out later in life cuz rn he's worried about baking really good treats for michael

last but not least the characters they refuse to add to the system (please im in love with thirteen please PLEASE):

mephisto got that bigender swag idk something about them screams it. i do think they use they/he pronouns though (maybe she/her also, but it depends on the day lawl)

thirteen is transfem i feel it in my bones. she/it/they pronouns. i love her so much. it's my favorite character ever look everyone. obey me devs add thirteen to the intimacy system NOW PLEASE.

raphael is agender bro does not care they will rain their spears on you and then eat solomon's cooking right after to make you physically ill (/lh). uses they/xe :)

thank you for coming to my ted talk and im sorry for the intense rambling <:)