#cuz i've never done this perspective very well

[thescribblings]

Had a vision this morning, tried a new perspective :]

Suggestive drawing of Ori under the cut

Those tela-novelas sure are interesting to watch when you have company, eh?

That is all

Have nice day :]

[cfr749]

Initial Thoughts on Chenford in 6x07

All right... I'm feeling... a lot at the moment, so just sharing my initial reactions before seeing anyone else's. I'm sure my feelings will evolve. Also this turned into a GD essay and I'm sorry.

The Good

Grey acknowledging that Lucy was going through a lot ABOVE & BEYOND the break up. I just wish he'd mentioned the shooting, too. Lucy deserves to be more than her relationship with Tim and I need to actually see that in the future.

Lucy laying out 2 key things in her conversation with Grey - how easily Tim walked away and that he had no right to make that decision for her

Prior to the last scene (see The Ugly below), I thought Tim's interactions with the therapist were reasonably well done; if only therapy was that easy in real life lol

"You've always got a home with me" - I loved this final scene between Lucy and Tamara. I don't really have feelings either way about Tamara at this point, and this still hit me right in the heart.

Smitty's poll made me laugh, but also another solid indicator that these writers / producers do in fact really enjoy laughing at the expense of the fandom and shippers (which, whatever, I don't care that they do, I'd prob do the same; but it does irk me when people act like these writers should be worshipped because of all the things they "give" us)

The Tim

"I'm not depressed. I broke up with her."

"I was her TO." Not her friend, cuz god knows Tim has yet to deal with the fact that he started banging his former Rookie I suppose.

I dunno whether to put this in The Good or The Bad at this point; it depends on where they take it, so instead Tim gets a section all about why he's a dick.

To be clear, I do not like that Tim is a dick. But I actually do kind of like that it is very clear TO THE AUDIENCE that Tim is being kind of a dick. Do I still think people will bend over backwards to defend him? Of course they will.

From my perspective, I love Tim, I understand that he thinks he's doing the right thing, and has lots and lots of trauma. I've never seen Tim as a character that magically healed at some point between Seasons 1 & 5 (please see his storyline with his dad, his ongoing issues with UC work and unwillingness to confront or deal with them, his feelings about therapy historically, his inability to dump Ashley, etc. etc.). He's never been perfect and he doesn't need to be.

All of those things are true. None of those things give him a free pass to be kind of a dick. He still has to take accountability for how he treated Lucy (which, to be clear, was like sh*t).

The Bad

Lucy being petty AF with the invites to Tamara's dinner - let her be ANGRY, but give me villain Lucy over this dumb sh*t.

Lucy having no one other than Grey to talk to.

Others acting like Lucy is actually kind of pathetic (why do these writers love sh*tting on her so much? girl could not be down and kicked any harder at this point) -- Celina / Nolan and the double dumping crap, Lucy thinking Grey paid actors and him telling her she was out of her damn mind

The last interaction between Lucy and Tim. I am so angry for her. I needed to see that from her, but instead it felt kind of like her being dumped / a kicked puppy all over again. We got it, thanks. What's next? Lucy being incredibly happy with the hottest man on earth? I'm here for it tbh. Lucy plotting Tim's murder? Also here for it at this point. LOL.

The Ugly

I could not hate the implication of that final scene with Tim and the therapist and the door shutting more. There was ZERO reason they couldn't have had him show up during the day, and it actually disgusts me that they are pushing this line again, but especially with Tim. I am literally NEVER this dramatic, but in this case I really hope they did that to just get a reaction, because if anything were to actually happen between Tim and the therapist, I'd be 100% done with this ship and show as would a whole lot of the audience (I think). If I kept watching, it would only be to see Lucy be absurdly happy without Tim.

Well, what'd I miss? What did y'all think?

[charmedreincarnation]

I’m kind of in a similar situation to your college indecisiveness post bc I want to shift but never have the time cuz all this studying. I’m really hating life rn. I’ve tried shifting a few times and managed to detach my awareness from this reality for a few minutes at a time, so i know what works for me, but I never have time to do it. I feel kind of drained that I could be achieving so much but I’m stuck not even having the time cuz I’m not smart enough to get done with all this HW fast enough

TLDR how do I be cool like you and too smart for school to be a big concern? Do I just say f**k it and do a shifting attempt when I’m supposed to be studying?

This was such a sweet ask 😭😭💖 I'm overwhelmed by the sweetness of your words, and I assure you, I'm far from being as cool as you think. In fact, I found myself facing the very same dilemma in the past! Now, I'm not sure if you're looking for some wisdom from Loa or valuable studying tips, so ill share a little bit of both? Also college-related questions/asks have been pouring in lately, so I've decided to address them all right here. I should probably just make it a post but I’ll use this ask as a reference.

Pre law perspective:

So my senior year, was when I really started my journey. It was during this time that I learned about shifting and manifesting (kind of law of attraction) so I naturally attempted everyday and had my focus to that. However, I basically spiraled into burnout and indifference towards school. Tbh It's still a mystery to me how I managed to do fine in school when I basically stopped attending classes mentally and barely did my work.

I've always had ADHD, anxiety, and procrastination issues throughout my high school years, But senior year took it to a whole new level. The boredom and disconnection from my studies were unbearable. I went through the motions, completing my homework, but for classes I didn't enjoy, I mindlessly attended without caring or understanding the material. It was a year filled with academic mediocrity, and certain subjects like AP Calculus and AP Biology, which I didn't even need for my future plans, were absolute torture.

And at the time I didn’t even fully understand what shifting was, But I clung to the notion that school no longer mattered in the grand scheme of things. Looking back, I realize it was a detrimental mentality to have for my well being. If there's one piece of advice I can offer, it's this - find a balance. Avoid burning yourself out completely, but don't neglect your mental well-being either. You are still here, whether you're shifting or not, whether you’re god or not, and whether you're actively manifesting or not. Diving deeper into a negative mental well will not benefit you in any way. Trust me, I learned this the hard way.

As my burnout intensified, I reached a point where I no longer wanted to be alive in this boring ass reality. It became so severe that I almost didn't apply to college. My entire focus was consumed by shifting, and I simply didn't care about anything else. It was my friends who came to my rescue, pushing me to apply and offering unwavering support. Without their guidance and nurturing, I honestly don't know where I would be today.

Eventually, I grew tired of being tired. I began diving into my subliminal journey, creating playlists that combined affirmations for school,success, and luck. I learned the importance of dividing my time wisely. During the second semester, I continued this approach, focusing on school-related practices during the day and dedicating my evenings to shifting attempts.

Affirmations and scripting became the root of my routine too. Miraculously, my grades improved, even when I skipped classes for an entire month or neglected to read the lectures.

I was able to graduate high school with honors, which in itself proves that success or whatever isn’t even just about being naturally "good at school." I worked smarter, not harder and knowing about manifesting really helped with that!

So I really advice you to find a balance in your journey. Don't pour all your energy into just school or just manifesting. Embrace the plethora of easy methods available - scripting, subliminals, binaural beats - and integrate them into your study routine. Make it work in your favor. Treat shifting like a cherished hobby, something that complements your academic pursuits rather than overshadowing them.

Also, set realistic standards for yourself. In high school, I used to obsess over achieving straight A's, disregarding any grade below perfection. Looking back, I realize how misplaced my priorities were. As long as you maintain a mix of A's, B's, and even a few C's, you'll be absolutely fine. Set a goal of achieving a GPA of 3.0 or whatever scale your institution uses, and celebrate every success along the way.

Loa perspective

Ok, now let's talk about the power of the Law of Assumption!

Now that I'm in a place where I give only about 20% of my time and effort to school and still do very well, I can help and reflect on my journey properly. Back in high school, like said I struggled with anxiety and ADHD, and I thought these challenges would hold me back.

Test-taking, deadlines, remembering information it all seemed overwhelming. But you know what helped me? Subliminals.

Listening to subliminals for intelligence and confidence made a significant difference in my life. They boosted my abilities and gave me the belief that I could excel academically. And that belief was everything.

As you probably know the Law of Assumption states that whatever we expect and assume to be true will become our reality. So, I decided to apply this principle to my studies. I assumed that I was capable of achieving great grades with ease. I assumed that school life would be manageable, and I would continuously improve my skills throughout the semester. I always visualized seeing As, revised my past grades, teacher giving me the grade I know I deserve no matter what.

And guess what? It worked! My mindset shifted towards greater productivity, and I started using my time more efficiently. As a result, my grades improved, and I had more time to focus on the things I genuinely enjoyed. It was a game-changer, and it accounted for about 70% of my success. Just imagine that - simply switching my mindset and accepting the positive results from my previous subliminal experiences.

I understand that college can be more stressful and demanding than high school. But it's still the same principle at play. You don't have to drastically change your study habits if you don't want to. Instead, use general resources during the day to aid your studying. And while you're at it, listen to subliminals that align with your goals. Instead of imagining and affirming to yourself that you're a failure and worrying about all the things that could go wrong, shift your focus. Imagine the grade you want, affirm and visualize that no matter what happens on your test, you'll still pass the class with flying colors. Remember, it's just one test, one assignment, and there are so many more opportunities ahead.

General school tips

* Stop checking your grades every day. Seriously, it's only stressing you out. Grades can fluctuate randomly, especially in college (and honestly, even in high school). Instead of obsessing over the numbers, focus on staying on top of your assignments. Keep up with your work, put in your best effort, and trust that alone will reflect in your grades.

* Say no to all-nighters. Trust me, reading the same material for 12 hours straight won't magically make you understand it. If something isn't clicking, it's probably an internal issue. There's no need to spend an entire night alone trying to grasp a single concept. Look for alternative resources like recap lessons on YouTube or seek help from a tutor or classmate. Remember, it's okay to acknowledge what doesn't come naturally to you and instead focus on your strengths.

* Realistically, doing your homework and attending class means you're probably not failing. Even if you're not getting the grade you want, it doesn't mean you're headed for failure. Those big tests that carry a significant weight in your grade may impact your GPA, but they don't define the trajectory of your life. Take a moment to reflect on all the times you thought a single grade would ruin everything, yet here you are, still alive and thriving. You've been through challenges before, and you're stronger than you think. Breathe, remind yourself that you're not alone in these thoughts and stresses, and keep pushing forward.

* Make friends and join class group chats. Trust me, these connections are gold. Joining group chats on platforms like GroupMe or Snapchat allows you to ask questions, collaborate on study guides, and realize that you're not alone in this journey. Even if they're not your closest friends, having a support system within your classes can make all the difference.

* Use EFT tapping for anxiety, especially before tests. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping is not only useful for Law purposes, but it can also work wonders for managing anxiety. Check out my pinned guide on how to use EFT tapping. It has personally helped me immensely, and I hope it does the same for you.

* Work smarter, not harder. The truth is, those who seem to breeze through school while partying every night still manage to graduate and pass just like everyone else. The key is finding shortcuts, utilizing the vast resources available on the internet, and working smarter, not harder. Embrace technology, explore online study tools, and leverage the power of the internet as your greatest friend in this journey.

Here are some free recourses:

Math and Science

1. MathMagic Lite: This app lets you write any mathematical expressions and various scientific symbols easily

2. Equatio: A powerful equation editor that makes it easy to create digital, accessible maths

3. Microsoft Mathematics: Can be used to write mathematical expressions, solve equations, and plot graphs

4. Desmos Scientific Calculator & Graphing Calculator: Utility apps for students and teachers for calculations and graph plotting

5. WolframAlpha: A computational search engine that can solve a wide variety of problems, especially useful for math and science

Article/Video Summarization

6. Smmry: A website that summarizes articles for you

7. TLDR This: A browser extension for quick article summarization

8. Inshorts: An app providing news in 60 words or less

9. Listenable: Converts articles into short audio files

Note-Taking

10. Evernote: A note-taking app where you can jot down thoughts, save things you find online, and even scan physical documents with your phone's camera

11. Microsoft OneNote: Allows for free-form information gathering and multi-user collaboration

12. Notion: An all-in-one workspace where you can write, plan, collaborate, and get organized

Concept Explanation

13. Khan Academy: Offers practice exercises, instructional videos, and a personalized learning dashboard that empower learners to study at their own pace in and outside of the classroom

14. Coursera: Provides universal access to the world’s best education, partnering with top universities and organizations to offer courses online

15. Complexly: A YouTube channel that produces a variety of educational content, including the series Crash Course which covers many different subjects in depth

16. citation machine: you never have to make source citations by yourself. This gives your both in test and citations for your essays and research.

Lastly I’m gonna put all the free resources most colleges offer for free!

Academic Resources

* Online Study Platforms: Websites such as Khan Academy, Coursera, and edX offer free or low-cost courses on a variety of subjects that can supplement your coursework.

* Academic Advising Centers: Most colleges have an academic advising center where students can get guidance on course selection, degree requirements, and academic planning.

* Writing Centers: Writing centers provide assistance with writing assignments, including proofreading, editing, and helping with citations.

* Library Research Databases: Your college library likely subscribes to a number of research databases (like JSTOR, EBSCO, and ProQuest) that can provide access to academic journals, books, and other resources.

2. Career Resources

* Career Centers: These centers offer career counseling, resume reviews, interview preparation, and job search assistance.

* Internship and Co-op Programs: Many colleges have programs that help students find internships or co-op positions in their field of interest.

* LinkedIn Learning: This platform offers courses on a variety of career-related topics, including networking, resume writing, and job interviewing.

3. Mental Health and Wellness Resources

* Counseling Centers: Most colleges offer free or low-cost mental health services to students, including individual therapy, group sessions, and workshops.

* Fitness Centers: Regular exercise is important for both physical and mental health. Most colleges have fitness centers that offer a variety of workout options.

* Mindfulness and Meditation Apps: Apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided meditations that can help reduce stress and improve mental health.

4. Financial Aid Resources

* Financial Aid Office: Your college's financial aid office can provide information on scholarships, grants, work-study opportunities, and student loans.

* FAFSA: The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) is the key to accessing federal financial aid, including grants, work-https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/712878654521262080/everything-eft-tapping?source=share funds, and loans.

* Scholarship Search Engines: Websites like Fastweb and Scholarships.com can help you find scholarships that you may be eligible for.

Other questions I got

Q: How did you manifest graduating early?

A: Graduating early was always a desire deep within me. I didn't realize it was on track to manifest until I had a meeting with my advisor. Interestingly, when I found out it was happening, I wasn't as ecstatic as I thought I would be. It made me realize that desires can change as we grow and evolve. So, if something you once desired doesn't bring you the same joy anymore, it's perfectly okay. Life is all about evolving and embracing new desires.

Q: What affirmations do you use?

A: Since I had a multitude of desires in various aspects of my life, I found it tiring to have a separate affirmation for each one. So, I opted for general affirmations that encompassed all areas of my life. For example, I would affirm statements like "I am the luckiest person alive," "Everything works out my way," and "I always get my desires." These affirmations can be applied to all aspects of life, including school. The key is to find affirmations that resonate with you and create a positive mindset.

Q: How do you manage the law/shifting and school?

A: As I mentioned earlier, integration is the key! You don't have to view manifestation or shifting as something separate from your school life. Instead, incorporate these practices seamlessly into your daily routine. The goal is to make it a part of your lifestyle without feeling like it's an extra burden or sacrifice. For example, if a certain method, like wbtb lucid dreaming, is disrupting your sleep schedule, consider switching to other methods like subliminals or reality checks. You can still set intentions before going to bed, which will be effective without compromising your sleep. Find what works best for you and strike a balance between school, manifestation, and your mental health

Q: What to do if affirmations don’t work:

A:maybe you don’t think with words. I’m more of a visual person and will always believe and like images more than words. I would just imagine my grades always being an A. No matter what, no matter if I failed a test or forgot to submit a homework even if I failed everything I still got an A! If you don’t like to visualize then change your wording to how you naturally speak. Maybe you don’t even like affirmations, it’s really different for everyone.

Q:I don’t want to go to this college but I still have to apply, is that affecting living in the end:

A: nope I don’t think taking action or not taking action affects anything If you’re living in the end. Just because you apply doesn’t mean you’ll get in simply because you took the action. Do what you have to do it doesn’t matter if you’re living your 3D life but know imagination is your true reality. If you’re a billionaire and sleep in a homeless shelter that doesn’t take away from the fact you’re a billionaire. Who knows why you’re at a homeless shelter and who knows why you’re applying for college. It doesn’t dictate anything.

Q:I needed to get into the void before college but now I’m here without my dream life and I hate it. What do I do:

A: well it’s happened so take a deep breath. You can still master the void, in fact you already have you’re just being silly and want a funny humbling story. There is no better time than now to be delulu. When you’re trying to escape something and it passes accept it and make it your bitch tbh. honestly keeping busy definitely helped me in my journey anyways, but I did provide tips above so you have free time because you shouldn’t just be immersed in school. For example when I was poor, it was because I needed a humbling back story because no one likes people born into wealth. I’m assuming you still want to be in college, and yea, it’s just cool to have started from the bottom before you become that It girl. That’s your choice and your truth but now you’re done with being humble so go tap into the void.

Q: what’s your perspective on manifesting a perfect life. like nothing bad ever happens but also having a good life with just minor challenges (nothing too big) and I don’t wanna normalize suffering bc who wants to suffer?

A: ok this had a school ask but that was just the gist of it. anyways not that my opinion matters first and foremost. But I think that’s great. Who wants to suffer… exactly. You know I like being human, but I did not like my human experience before Loa. I do like challenges, I like growth, I like not being perfect, and I like being happy and getting what I want too! you can still have all those human aspects and manifest everything you desire. Mary Sues do don’t exist because humanity exists. Don’t worry about it. Your life won’t feel stagnant or unreal or something, I promise

Ok sorry this came out longer than I expected but I had a lot to say. I hope that answers all the asks I’ve been getting ! You all got this, college, your manifesting journey, your anxiety, all of it. All of your dreams & desires are within your reach (right in front of you !!!) so go for it and still live your best life <3!

[that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you]

ttpd review: thoughts (and prayers)

cuz wtf was that. (also providing my two cents that no one gives a shit about)

Is the promotion in the room with us?

Not going to lie, this part pissed me off. As a post evermore release swiftie, the first album release I got was midnights. And while the promotion for midnights wasn't astoundingly genius, the track list release (midnights mayhem with me) was smart. Everyday, there would be chaos all over social media of taylor taking out a number and releasing the track name. The excitement over YOYOK was to die for. But after reaching peak fame, girlie just decided shit wasn't necessary anymore. Absolutely no promotion for ttpd, except a few lyrics that provided no context (or excitement) whatsoever. That, and the very non subtle "hinting" of some big reveal of what went down between her and joe, by making some playlists, that not only ruined the perspective of many of her fans and the relationship they had with her previous songs, but ALSO. THE ALBUM HAD BARELY ANYTHING ABOUT JOE. (Not that i personally care about what happened, but it was so unnecessary to center the ONLY promotion done around someone who was barely a part of the album). Swifties went on the internet to harass joe alwyn (and his female coworkers) who might as well be called a special mention on a matty healy album. Why even do all that then? We will never know.

Confusion?

taylor released 31 songs, and while a double album theory coming true would be a dream come true for any swiftie, it just... wasn't. Out of 31 songs, barely 10 stood out. Some of it just didn't make sense, in any way. "Why is this on the album?" "This sounds like a midnights vault track." "No issues, maybe this is just a skip. I'll listen to the next. Oh wait nvm. Um." Like girl what. It just feels like a giant vault album of synth pop music.

Also, it's called the tortured poets department. There is barely anything poetic or tortured about the album aesthetic. Except maybe it's torturing me, but I'm as much of a poet as she is, which basically means I'm not one.

The album just feels so different than the other albums, in the sense that they followed an aesthetic, a certain style of music and lyrics, and created some sort of story. This one just feels like she wrote many songs and put them all on an album, picked whatever track name seemed interesting enough as the album name, and called it a day. Some of the songs are gems, some create a confusion as to why they are on this album, and some just make you cringe- or atleast go "wtf". Which is fine, but if not even half the songs fall under the first category out of 30 songs, then it's a problem.

These were written by... taylor?

The lyrics omfg. I'm not going to be one of those ppl who go around saying that the lyrics sounded like an emo middle schooler (I've heard this take) BUT again, some songs have lyrics that make you question how taylor, someone who wrote the albums folklore and evermore, and many great songs like would've, could've, should've, story of us, all too well, fearless, white horse, dbatc, daylight, red... I could keep going tbh, produced...this.

It was very weird to listen to the words "tattooed golden retriever" from someone who wrote "handsome, you're a mansion with a view" (also who the FUCK is calling matty healy that??)

A very important part of taylor's music is how it is focused on the lyrics. The music itself isn't the most special, or different, in most of her songs, but what makes them (and her) special is her songwriting. However, from her songwriting going from commonly used phrases and idioms to make them tell a story, use a wide range of vocabulary, heavily using personification, allusion, transferred epithet, and a few other figures of speech that she uses in her songs to make elements such as colours, for example, tell a story, in a way it seemed effortless and fit perfectly, to this... now it feels like she's trying to do that, but that's it. She's TRYING, and it's not yielding results, and seems more like a try hard "poet" rather than... whatever she was going for. The songs are filled with self-satisfied "clever" metaphors that are being reused and recycled over and over. This is not what ppl meant when they asked you to be more environmentally friendly, taylor.

Final thoughts I guess?

While the songs are basically only an empty shell of something that taylor used to make, the album isn't all bad. Some of the songs do sound good and go well with taylor's voice (aaron dessner, the fucking legend you are) and are quite enjoyable, if not as memorable as her other songs.

There are songs such as the prophecy, clara bow, so long, london, loml, guilty as sin?, etc., that really do come through and honestly I really like them.

I do feel that the album can grow on people, but it's just... not the best. Like she says so much, and not to quote taylor swift, but genuinely the only thing in my head right now is "the more you say, the less I know".

Overall, the album is fine, but not in taylor swift standards. It's just... not bad, with some exceptions.

[ihopesocomic]

Sorry for the mini-essay but I think people massively underestimate how much hard work and dedication goes into a Passion Project. People think that creators who make free content, who do their work as a hobby and not as a job, must only get enjoyment out of it.

That’s not how it works. Doing it purely because you want to doesn’t automatically make the more challenging, frustrating, or (gasps) TIME CONSUMING parts of the project any less burdensome. If anything, it makes it worse because you aren’t being paid for all of that labor. You’re just doing it for the sake of doing it, and as rewarding as it can be, it can also be demanding.

Im finally publishing a fanfic for the first time and don’t get me wrong, it’s been great to get feedback on my work and interact with a community. I love that there are usernames and profile pictures I can actually identify because they’re regulars on my work.

But does that mean I don’t have to constantly redo work because I don’t like how it turned out? No. Does that mean I always update on time? No. Never get burnout? No. I still very much go through all of the things paid writers do, because the Creative Process is difficult and demanding no matter what they paycheck is or isn’t.

And all of that is just if you guys WERE missing updates, which you’re NOT. So like… these complaints are not only very entitled and ignorant, but also just confusing. People really just be mad for the sake of being mad, I guess?

Anyways yeah, free content creators are still content creators, and passion-driven hard work is still hard work. You two are cranking out absolutely STUNNING visuals, compelling characters and engaging worldbuilding every single week and that’s amazing. Thank you for your hard work and I’m sorry about the twerps that don’t appreciate it enough!

Ah the price we pay for being human and having a brain, amirite haha

It's to be expected, to a certain point, that people simply don't understand that things like comics and cartoons take time. General impatience is something that can be ignored. If people asking for updates bothered us, we wouldn't post anywhere ever haha You gotta have at least SOME backbone if you want to do a comic. Or anything really.

Comics are a TON of work, and I knew this going in cuz I've done shorter comics before. It is not to be treated as if its easy. (Well, its easier than animating a whole series by yourself LOL) There's a lot of pre-comic planning that people don't tell you about. And that's just the stuff you have to do before you even start drawing. Of course this only applies to long-form storytelling, there's different rules for different kinds of comics.

And I won't even get into what it takes to making the comic itself, there's a lot of parts that need to be considered like formatting, time-management, what shortcuts you have to take to save on labor, and getting across as much information as you can in a short amount of time, while using mostly visuals. It's a skill, so it can be learned haha

A lot of doing comics is on-the-job training. Which I know can be frustrating for perfectionists, but from a reader's perspective, part of the joy of webcomics is seeing how far the art has come. And you can't exactly get out a webcomic if you keep redoing things over and over. You'll burn yourself out even faster. This is why it's important to have a plan lol it just makes it easier to adjust if you have to change things, than if you have no plan at all.

Even if RJ and I for whatever reason no longer felt passionate about this story, and wanted to move on to something else entirely, we wouldn't leave everyone hanging. We'd tell everyone what happens one way or another. Because too many people just abandon a story just to tell another one, and that's not fair to people who were here to read a story that appealed to them.

But the entitlement of people sucks, the constant heckling, the fact we can't moderate our own comment section, and more importantly Webtoons just sucks as a site anyway. - Cat

[castlebyersafterdark]

hiii i just wanted to come on here as a lesbian who is very pro spicy byler to maybe give a little personal experience and perspective to this convo. it’s also 5am for me rn so this might get too personal and also not make any sense sorry 😭😭

so at least for me, and not speaking for any other lesbian’s here cuz idk what their experience is, a big reason that i like spicy byler is Because i’m a lesbian and not attracted to men. in my own life i don’t think about men’s sexuality or have to consider men in a sexual way, so i can view sex between two men from a completely outside perspective - i don’t need feel inadequate about my own sexual experience because i don’t want to have any sexual experiences with men, there are no notes i need to take on technique, there’s nothing to feel insecure about never doing before and going “oh it would have been better if i had done that” or “that’s how it should have been? i’ve been doing it wrong this whole time? fuck.”. its almost like - because it has nothing to do with me and experiences i actually want to have in the future (at least technically, with anatomy and stuff, i definitely crave the emotional intimacy aspects) it’s just pure high fantasy. it can be hot and i can just enjoy it as hot because the characters find it hot. i think i also have a very deep attachment to these characters and their relationship that seeing them show their love in any way is very cathartic, whether that be sexually, where the release of catharsis is very much 1:1 mimicked by actually coming, or romantically, where tension is really built up and a simple, well written confession can be just as much of a release.

i do think that when i first started reading mlm smut i was definitely confused about what it meant for Me sexually. cuz it was like, ik i’m not sexually attracted to either of these men, i definitely don’t want to be in any sort of sexual situation with them, why do i find this so hot?? do i like men in general?? do i like male anatomy?? am i lying to myself??? but i’ve since realized it’s that its the emotional intimacy that i can relate to and enjoy from the character’s whereas the physical intimacy is something completely divorced from my reality, allowing me to enjoy it just as what it is without having to think too hard about my personal experience. there is no overthinking i have to do that gets in the way of my enjoyment. i can imagine for people who do have sexual experiences with men or are men that physical or sexual inaccuracy or just a general sense that this is an unrealistic physical feat or reaction can take you out of the moment and/or make you cringe - since i don’t have any experience with that, the only thing that takes me out of the moment is emotional and characterization inaccuracy. its the fact that i didn’t have to actually involve Myself (whether that be my own pleasure or how to go about pleasing a partner in a technical, physical sense) that allows me to enjoy it so much. there are zero personal implications that i have to take to heart thus allowing me to fully enjoy it without getting in my head about technicalities. its just - these people are finding pleasure in this, them experiencing pleasure is hot, what they’re experiencing must be hot. it feels very much like escapism for me. (i feel like i just said the same exact thing 10 times and still didn’t get the wording right lmao)

from what have gathered, its a very common formative experience for queer women to read and be turned on by male ships and the sexual experiences that are written about them - and ik friends irl that definitely relate to that as well. now, idk if this is the reason for all or a majority of enjoyment of this type of content, but i imagine this is not a completely unique experience in fandom for lesbians.

Thank you for sharing this!!!! Super super super interesting!!!! I kind of thought as much for some of your points but I've never seen it all spelled out quite like this. ❤️

[polyhexian]

Okay so revewing your pre-canon Grimwalkers and events, I think I'm seeing the path Belos's mindset is taking that eventually leads to Hunter.

A lot of the Grimwalkers are aware that they're Grimwalkers. It's a little different every time, but this is clearly a model that has been working for Belos, so he uses it a lot. Currently I think the only Grimwalkers who DON'T know they're Grimwalkers are Temperance and Hunter.

I get the feeling that Belos is usually pretty cool with the Grimwalkers knowing what they are. Probably easier for him that way too, since he doesn't have to keep up a whole song and dance. But I think he kinda started experimenting a bit with Temperance, if not earlier, probably due to what went down with Tell and the aftermath of that. So I think over time the thought process is…

Tell-no-lies - Knows he's a Grimwalker, is good at his job, also manages to have a secret lover that leads to his betrayal. Crap.

Virtue - Knows he's a Grimwalker, is decent at his job, I'll humor his plan but actually it's kinda stupid and he likes the palismen so nevermind we're done here.

Enoch - Tell-no-lies's daughter, not a Grimwalker but it's cruelly cathartic playing house like she's my niece, it's a shame I was never able to control Evelyn and her whelp like this, this whole situation is very amusing--oh gdi she tried to kill me.

Temperance - Maybe it's the Grimwalker thing that's causing problems, maybe telling them they aren't real people is what makes them so determined to act like real people. I'll let this one think he's a real person. With amnesia. And no one knows who he is or where he comes from so that takes care of the backstory. Now he can focus on his job - oh okay he'd rather look for answers instead. Shoot.

Jasper - YOU KNOW WHAT, BACK TO THE KNOWING-YOU'RE-A-GRIMWALKER MODEL, BUT MORE INTENSE THIS TIME. NO PERSONHOOD FOR YOU. NO EMOTIONS FOR YOU. ANY FEELINGS YOU FEEL ARE FAKE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM. Just focus on your job. Oh. Oh, wow, that worked. That worked really well. I can even rip his spine out and he just thinks that normal. And he is VERY good at his job, not that I'll tell him that. Wow, he's even lasted 12 years! Incredible! I'm looking forward to killing him but this one's had a good run! Clearly I just need to make them repress all their emotions and thoughts and feelings forever and that'll make them efficient and--why is he stealing the baby. How can your mental health be in shambles when you don't have a mental to health? Ugh, die.

Hunter - So I COULD just kill this kid and start over, but. Jasper DID posit an intriguing idea. This COULD actually be a Grimwalker-who-doesn't-know-he's-a-Grimwalker that works. It didn't work with Temperance cuz he couldn't just accept that he'd never ever learn his backstory. But Hunter here could literally just grow up in his backstory. He'd never question it. It's perfect. It's annoying that he's gonna be a useless baby for so long but I can deal. I've missed having a nibling to torment. Sure, Enoch tried to kill me, but she had a mother to give her other perspectives on life; this kid has NO ONE. I can DEFINITELY do better molding this one into what I want him to be! It's perfect!

And thus why he tells the Collector, a minute after Jasper's death, that raising Hunter will be an interesting experiment. It's a set of variables he's never had a chance to work with before, building on the methods he's already tried in the past.

I really do like the fact that Jasper's deathbed bargaining gives a good reason for Hunter, specifically, to grow up from infancy, while most (all?) other Grimwalkers in your headcanon were older when they got picked. Canon implies that there've been so many Grimwalkers that they really can't have had a regular lifespan, so most of them being picked as adults makes sense, and then Jasper's story makes Hunter's lifespan also make sense.

Also, I think I feel the worst for Temperance, in terms of his understanding. He never knew the truth, and he barely got a lie. Hunter at least thought he knew who he was, even if Belos lied the entire time; Temperance never even got that much. What a sad existence. :(

YESSSS YOU CAN SEE THE THROUGH LINE!

He is ALWAYS playing a game with them. He literally does not need the Grimwalkers. They exist only because he wants something to hurt, some way to keep punishing his brother again and again and again. Every time he tries something different because it is FUN to him. A way to pass the time, even. He wants to make something perfect. A perfect soldier, servant, brother, father, son, wife, friend. Something he can hurt as much as he wants. Something that will never betray him no matter what. Something good at its job but also without it's own life beyond him. And jasper was almost there. He was almost perfect. He lasts a very long time because of it.

But Hunter is presenting him specifically with the opportunity to redo a unique situation he'd already tried and failed, and now with some new ideas on how to do better. AND the opportunity to continue to punish a dead man- the same way he's punishing tell now.

And honestly the only reason he DID fail with hunter is he stopped playing the game. Luz showed up and he was SO much more interested in her he basically stopped managing hunter which meant he got so much more leeway to exist beyond his brainwashing. If Belos had been on the ball hunter would probably never have left. As usual, Belos is the one fucking himself over with his own cruelty.

[midnightstarshadow]

Hey, hey, guess what?

BPFT!Crescent's reference sheet is done!

(BPFT is my God au, btw!!)

I've never done a reference sheet before so idk if I did this right but I do like how it turned out

You can ask questions about him if you want, my ask box is always open ^^

Okay, now I'm gonna ramble about him so if you don't want spoilers for the fic, you may instead focus intensely on the rendered bit on the left and ignore the rest as well as the stuff under the read more :3

So the lantern glows blue because it's fueled by his magic rather than oil or something like that

Anyone who goes to the mortal realm gets one and it basically lights the path to the task they need to complete down there (Crescent doesn't have a real task tho so it's just a funny light)

Yes, he is wearing cloud pajamas, people tend to headcanon Nightmare's realm as eternally nighttime so that means you get to wear pajamas all the time when you're a demi-god living in his realm like Crescent

This is a medieval fantasy world, but the gates to the mortal realm are partially controlled by the God of Time and so the Gods get stuff from all periods because I fucked up when making Crescent's sheet and forgot to do research Fresh exists to be a menace

The outside of the cloak is fairly plain because the God of Fear is ironically paranoid and stealth is a must, however the galaxies on the inside of the cloak are real stars from Nightmare's realm and they move like a real night sky does (or they would, if I could animate that well)

Nightmare just kinda went "Lemme just pull some stars out of the sky for you" and turned it into a cloak for his son when he was sad one time and now it's Crescent's favourite :)

I spent like.... an hour trying to figure out how to make the stars before giving up and using this image from unsplash, which lets you use images for free. IbisPaint doesn't have many star brushes, unfortunately :(

Cross is there too, though I don't got his design fully fleshed out yet so take the silly little sketch of him

Even though the text is the same for their thoughts, they don't speak the same language

(It's only English for you guys)

Crescent only knows how to speak the Gods' language (which I'm gonna say is now Minecraft Enchantment Table lol) cuz that's what he was raised to speak (and to fuck with you guys <3) and Cross would be using Wingdings

Of course, when it's their perspective, it'll be regular letters for them and those fonts for the other so you get the full experience of a language barrier >:)

Cross wants to pay back Crescent by serving him after he saved his life but Crescent just wants a friend so he never asks for anything and that makes Cross a bit upset lol

He likes helping and can't convey that

Crescent wouldn't mind help tho but he kind of thinks Cross needs to rest after almost dying but he can't convey that either

They want to communicate but they can't lol

Oh! Oh! Oh!

I almost forgot!

Crescent can't travel during the day because his father's realm is the night and Dream unintentionally sends his aura across miles during the day

He wants to be the cool uncle but his aura is very overbearing, especially for a small demi-god :(

Crescent just pulls up his hood and pretends to sleep instead

Cross keeps guard :)

He does think Crescent is a God and that he's probably capable of watching his own back but he likes doing it anyway

[enn-jay]

Can u share your list with us so we can know what to expect

Always happy to talk about my writing! 😁

So this is the list I'm working on atm. I have no idea what order they will come in as I just work on whatever takes my fancy and sometimes a new idea comes in and takes over - which is what happened with Treacherous and Is It Over Now? As I've said before, I get very little time for writing, sometimes as little as 2 hours a week, so I do what I can. Luckily, I have the amazingly supportive @emmainldn cheering me on constantly, otherwise I'd probably never get anything written!

Haylor fics currently in the pipeline:

The Very First Night - about the first time they got together in March/April 2012. I started this before Treacherous but it's got similar vibes, so might end up taking a backseat for a while as I used a lot of my ideas for it in Treacherous. I do have other ideas for it though so it will probably happen eventually. It's a bit more angsty than Treacherous as it goes a bit "rust that grew between telephones-y" later on.

Just A Little Bit of Your Heart - Sequel to Midnight, late 2014ish. Harry wants to be with Taylor properly but she's keeping him at arms length and he's not very good at communicating. Angst and possibly no/little smut which is weird for me! This is almost complete and will probably be posted first.

Cruel Summer (working title) - Summer 2016 (possibly, not 100% decided on the timeline). This one will be open/ongoing episodes/hook ups and is literally just an excuse to write smut whenever I want without having to think of a proper storyline.

A Million Little Times - this is the big boy. Long series fic where Taylor is with John when they meet but Harry falls for her anyway. Over the years they hurt each other a million little times but they can't seem to stay away from each other. This will be split into two halves and I'm not posting until the first half is nearly done, so don't expect it any time soon, but if I go quiet, I'm probably working on this. I'm pretty sure it will be worth the wait.

Passports in Footwells - Break up fic Dec 2012/Jan 2013 - Chronicals the little mistakes and misunderstandings that leads to them breaking up even though they still love each other. Heated arguments, full angst, almost definitely some smut too. This one is only a couple of sentences long atm but I can see it zooming past the others cuz I'm really excited for it. I like writing pain.

Vigilante Shit - Current Harry watching a TikTok of Taylor performing Vigilante Shit at Eras. Very short but about finished, I've only not posted this because it's so short and I'm wondering if I need to add something else or make it part of a series or something.

5 Reasons Matty Healy Hates Harry Styles and 1 Reason He Doesn't - haylor from an outsiders perspective looking in. A very jealous outsiders perspective. Inspired by an incredibly interesting 1 hour video essay I watched about Matty having one-sided beef with Harry Styles. And Robbers by The 1975. I'm well aware noone asked for this fic but the idea came to me practically half-formed one day. 😂

I Can See You - Vmas hook up! - Someone suggested this the other day, but there is a scene in A Million Little Times which I think is set at the vmas so might include it in that...if not though I will write this at some point because 🔥🔥🔥.

[romanarose]

Leather and Lace chapter 6:

Santiago "Pope" Garcia X Fem!OC

Fic Masterlist

Previous Part : Next part

Chapter summary: Benny and Laci spend the day together to get a surprise for Santi. Santi is jealous. Laci and Santi spend a special moment together.

A/N: I hope y'all know I stayed up waaaaaaaayyy past my bedtime writing this for you. Stay tuned, cuz the next chapter is angsty and then we can start getting into smut. Just a lil smut. As a treat.

Anyway I need y'all to read My Brother's Keeper by @frankiesbadlanding bc it might be the best goddamn piece of frankie fanfiction I've ever read in my LIFE and I'm OBSESSED!!

Also please read Sunshine State By @brewsterispunkk bc its gotta be the goddamn cutest benny miller fic i've ever read its got my fucking heart bro <3

WARNINGS!!!: This whole fic has mentions of rape and abuse, but this chapter has more of that in the beginning, negative self-talk, brief references to smut, and santi kiiinnnnnnddaaaaa being a bit of an ass, showing some bad behaviors.

This chapter will alternate POV's, mostly between Laci and Benny bc I wanted to give Laci a voice and I wanted Benny's outside perspective, but it will have some Santi closer to the end for narrative reasons.

Okay I'm done talking.

****************

They played friends with the boys, roommates at home, lovers at night. 

With the guys, they pretended to just be friends. No one bought it for a second, but they pretended. During the day, they played roommates, taking turns cooking for each other and cleaning, going to appointments. At night? At night, they kissed. Laci often wondered why it remained just kissing. It was odd, she had never met a man who didn’t jump at the oppretunity to fuck her, not one that was interested in her anyway. If they weren’t interested, a different story. If they were? Well, they expected sex. Sometimes, whether she wanted it or not.

Her time before Pope found her wasn’t the first time she had been raped, and she always figured it wouldn’t be her last. She had practically resigned herself to that fact.

But Santi didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to know any of that. Santiago Garcia deserved a version of her without all of that. It was one thing that he had to deal with her non-verbal episodes. Oh Santi, sweet, sweet, Santiago… So patient, so kind, so gentle. When she first saw him that day in the basement, him and Frankie, she had been scared shitless, avoiding eye contact with them, and Benny when he came down. Laci had assumed they were just the next round of men to either hurt her or take her to more men who would. Or both. Santi had insisted he was there to help her, but she couldn’t trust his word, she knew nothing about him. But when she had stood up, when he had caught her and she got a good look in his beautiful brown eyes… She couldn’t help but trust him, just a little. 

It was Ben she had first spoken to. She didn’t know why, particularly, but he put her at ease. That was his nature. From the beginning he had treated her with a sense of normalcy he wasn’t used to. He was careful, for sure, but she supposed he didn’t have the intensity Santiago did. Laci felt more at ease with him. Even as she grew to trust Santi, her nervousness had a different source. The way she felt about him was insurmountable, incapable of description. And yet, she couldn’t get a read on him… Why, when they kissed, would he keep his hands so innocently on her back or her hair? Why, when she tentatively slipped tongue in his mouth, did he not open up, why did he not return the action? He had never wanted her to feel obligated to do anything, she knew that. He easily could’ve taken advantage of her situation from the very beginning, but the whole first few days he hadn’t so much stared at her breasts. It was clear he was attracted to her. Sometimes, while they kissed, he’d adjust their placement when she felt him hardening with her on top of him. Had wanted her, that much was obvious. So why had they only kissed? She wasn’t entirely sure she wanted him. Well, she wanted him, that was for sure. He was beautiful and he was kind… but the though of sex made her chest tense, the thought of everything done to her made her sick. Santi didn’t deserve that version of her. He deserved someone that would fuck him. 

No matter Santi’s patience, no matter how much he insisted he just wanted to help, a part of her brain told her no, no men don’t do that, people don’t do that, people don’t just help. He wanted something, he had to want her and it was just his decency that he was taking his time. Santi would get tired of this, he’d get tired of playing house with no sex, and he’d either kick her out or force her. Laci couldn’t see Santi being like that, but she’d been wrong before. That’s how she got here.

And that’s why things were easier with Benny. Benny and her had no sexual tension, no questions about what the future was, what they were. They were friends. When her and Santi had made back to the motel, Benny had clearly been crying when he saw Santiago safe, and had been shot. And yet, once he saw her, all that was out of his mind, he was back to himself, getting her clothes and setting her up with a shower that she desperately needed. And right now, she could sit on the couch watching Always Sunny in Philadelphia with him while Santi worked on the kitchen sink that had decided not to drain anymore.

“I swear, I usually win!” Benny was defending the reminisce of a black eye he had from the last bar fight he had gotten in.

“I’m sure you do, Ben” Laci assured him, lying.

Ben winced “I’m just better at fighting when… I’m sober, that’s all”

“And yet…” she started.

“And yet what, Laci?” Benny gestured for her to continue. Santi crawled out from under the kitchen sink “And yet, most of your fights are when you’re drunk, not in the ring.”

Laci grinned at Santi, looking particularly attractive in a white tank top covered in dirt and the gross mess of kitchen plumbing, then turned to a mock offended Ben.

“Wow, is that what you were going to say?” 

Laci sheepishly tried to hide a smile and shrugged, giving away that yes, this was exactly what she was thinking. 

“Wooooooooooooooooow” Benny drawled out. “Guess you’ll just have to come the fight tomorrow and see me in action!”

Laci’s face lit up. She hopped up on the couch, leaning over the back. “Can I?” She called excited to the man who had re-tangled himself in the sink pipes.

Ben scoffed. “You don’t have to ask his permission.”

She turned to him briefly. “If he’s driving me, I probably should.”

“I’ll drive you!”

Laci gave him a look, then turned back to Santi, taking a moment to admire the bit of skin that showed from his shirt riding up. “Hey Santi?” She called for him, hesitantly. She never wanted to put him out, but he hadn’t gone to a fight since she came into his life, maybe he’d like to go.

Santi crawled out from under the cabinet. That was the thing about Santiago, she always had his full attention. “Yes?” He sounded eager. That was another thing about Santi, he was always so ready to do whatever she asked. Another reason he deserved more than her, she asked for so much.

“Benny asked if we could go to his fight tomorrow?”

Brow furrowed, Santi whipped sweat from his forehead as he sat up. “You wanna go to that? Why?”

She shrugged. “I wanna see Benny get beat up.”

“Hey!” 

Santi seemed to almost glare as he glanced at Ben, then softening when he turned to Laci. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, a lot of not good people there.” Back to Ben. “What are you trying to bring her to a place like that for?”

Ben raised his hands defensively “She’s my friend! I want you both there, you haven't been in ages” Since I came around, keeping you from your life Laci thought. 

Santi shook his head.

“Fine. Ben said definitely. “I’ll take her then.”

Santiago stood up, giving him the irritated look she only saw him use on the guys, never her. He put a hand on his hip. “And you’re going to keep an eye on her while you fight?” The question was rhetorical.

“Keep an eye- Pope, I think she’ll be fine.”

“And that is why you’re not taking her, thinking you can leave a girl alone with that group of people!”

“Will and Frankie will be there, and you could be too if you weren’t being such an old man.”

Sant shook his head. “She’s not going.”

“It’s her choice, not yours.”

Laci suddenly felt their eyes on her, waiting for an answer. She didn’t want to disappoint Benny, she wanted to see him fight, she wanted to do something different. But Santi was everything to her, her whole world. She looked at Santi, suddenly closing up. Great. Her words were lost on her again. Laci shook her head at him, making a little wave and squinted face. ‘Nah, nevermind’ She knew Santi would understand what she was saying.

Santi looked at Ben “See? She doesn’t really want to go”

Ben groaned loudly, looking at Laci. She just shrugged. 

“Fine. Whatever. Come on, she should get going.” Ben stood up motioning to Laci, who followed him to put her shoes on. Converse. Actual converse, not the knock off’s Laci tried to get. Actual converse Santi had insisted on when he saw her eyeing them. 

Santi suddenly looked nervous, quickly washing his hands. “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive? I can put this off until evening?” He nodded at the plumbing he was not doing well on, then looked at Laci, almost pleading. Laci and Ben were going to the mall by themselves for a particular reason , a reason that banked on Santi not being there. He kept trying to invite himself along. This was the first time Laci had gone anywhere without Santi. At most, she occasionally watched Rosie alone, but that was always under the watchful eye of Frankies in-home security cameras.

Laci tapped Benny, signaling him to take over.

“We’re good Santi, we don’t want to be here when you explode sewage all over the house.”

“I’m not gonna-”

“She’ll be fine, Santi” Ben insisted.

Santi sighed. “Fine, have fun on whatever mysterious mission you refuse to tell me about.” He grumbled more to himself than anything. 

Laci gave a little wave and a smile, and Santi waved back before they headed out the door.

When they got to the mall, Benny noticed how much Laci tensed up. Maybe the reason she was always attached at Pope’s hip wasn’t entirely his possessive nature. He reached a hand out, open palmed. Laci looked at him questioningly, but when he smiled, she took his hand. 

That was the thing about Benny. It was so much easier. Nothing was loaded, nothing had to be read into.

It’s just them.

Ben guided her to the antique store. Last week, Laci had texted Benny asking if he could help her get something to surprise Santi. It took some convincing for Santi to let them go alone. Benny and her couldn’t come up with a good reason as to why Santi couldn’t come; Laci didn’t really want to lie anyway. So they told him it was a secret. Laci wandered through the busy store, hand tightly gasped to Benny’s as she searched. It had to be perfect. It had to be perfect because he was perfect. He did everything for her without complaint. It had to be perfect.

“There it is”

After Laci made the purchase, Benny bought them Panda Express at the food court.

“Fuck, I gotta piss” Benny complained as finished Laci’s left overs and threw away their trash. Laci scampered after him as he headed to the bathroom, grabbing his arm before he went in. “I don’t think you wanna come in here, honey” he laughed, but Lace looked at him wide-eyed, gripping his arm. “Oh come on Lace, you’ll be okay for one minute, I swear”

She continued silently pleading with him, eyes glancing to the busy mall and back to him. ‘Don’t leave me’ her eyes begged.

Benny softened. “Look, I know Santi treats you like a child, but I promise you are not as delicate as he seems to think. If you really, truely, do not want to be out here alone, I won’t go. But…” He looked at her pale blue eyes, nervous, but thinking. “But I think you can do it, and I think it’ll be a big step towards things being normal.”

Benny watched her think for a moment, smiling softly at her so she knew it was up to her. He had to piss so fucking badly, but if she really couldn’t be alone, he’d wait. Slowly, he felt her let go of him, step back, and nod.

Laci waited outside. Eyes watching all the feet that passed by. Back to normal… how was she supposed to go back to normal after everything that had happened? How was she supposed to go about her normal life again? Would that mean leaving Santi? Did getting better mean he’d leave her? Would she even see Will, Ben, and Frankie again? Rosie? Or was she just their charity case?

Ben emerged from the bathroom, immediately being tackled by Laci despite her being a foot shorter than him. 

“Oh god, are you okay?” He wrapped his arms around her, assuring her he was there, she was okay. “Everything alright?”

She peeped her head  up from his chest, grinning. “I did it!” She half laughed.

“You sure did!” Benny lifted her up, swinging her around as she laughed. “Great job!”

“Benny?” Laci asked as he set her down.

“Yeah?”

“Did you wash your hands?”

As they walked out to the car, Ben didn’t want today to end, not when Laci had been making such big steps. When Ben had mentioned to Will he was taking her to the mall without Santi, Will had started in on him about how now is not the time for this and Laci isn’t someone he should be getting involved with like that, and how Ben knows Santi and her have something going on. It took some convincing for Will to realize they were just friends, and jesus, Ben doesn’t only think with his dick, he thinks with his head too. Laci needed a friend, especially with how Pope is. Ben loved Santi with his whole heart, he respected him, even had crush on him back in the day. 

But Santi was intense. He was a lot. First and foremost, Santi was a protector. And right now, his focus was solely on Laci, and that focus was single minded. Laci would do anything she thought Santi wanted. Santiago Garcia was the kind of person to make you want to be your best self for him. Ben knew better than most how, when that intense gaze was focused on you, you were practically powerless. You wanted his approval, you wanted to make him smile, you wanted him to love you, whichever version you could put forth.

“We can go anywhere, do whatever you want, or just go home and see if Santi flooded the house yet.”

Sam smiled nervously, but replied. “Could we maybe… theres this park near home with a patch of woods, maybe we could go there?”

He laughed “What, Santi not taking you to parks?”

“He does! Well…” she shuffled her feet. “We walk around on the path, he doesn’t like me going off it, climbing around… I thought maybe we could explore a bit?”

Ben wanted to lecture her, tell her that she didn’t need Santi’s permission, didn’t need his okay to do anything. But he lectured her enough for the day. He wanted her to have fun.

When Laci and Ben finally walked into the house that evening, it had started to get dark. Ben was holding a decorated paper bag, both of them sopping wet and covered in scratches.

“Oh my god, Laci” Santi hung up the phone, speed walking around the count and took her into a strangling hug. “Jesus, where have you been? Why are you soaked?”

Laci tried to speak, but words failed her, as they usually did in these moments. 

Words did not fail Benjamin Miller.

“Relax, Pope, she’s fine.” He insisted.

Santi’s soft, worried face turned to Ben, hardening. Ben knew what was coming.

 “What the fuck did you do to her?” He continued to hold Laci’s arms, pulling himself back to skan her. Scraps covered her arms and legs, nothing bad but Ben knew damn well this would send Santi into a fit. When Santi zero’d in on someone, he really zero’d in.

“I didn’t do anything, we went to the park and explored, and we fell in the water… and fell down a few other things.”

“What?” Sant’s confused, annoyed glance went back and forth between Laci and Ben. “Why?”

Benny leaned in for emphasis. “Because she wanted to, Santi. And you don’t let her”

With that, Santi let go of Lace, walking over to Ben. “I don’t let her? I have been worried about her the last 3 goddamn hours, you were going to the mall and back, you couldn’t tell me you were going somewhere? I was just on the phone with your goddamn brother asking if he heard from you because I didn’t know where you two were!”

“Jesus Christ, Pope! You’re acting like she’s your daughter who broke curfew, she is a 29 year old woman!” Ben gestured towards Laci, glancing at her, checking in. She was standing there nervously, mouth closed tight. Benny hoped she’d speak up, call Santi out, but he also knew it took years before Ben stood up to him.

“Excuse me?” Despite the hight difference, Santi sized up to Ben.

“Fuck, Santiago, you treat her like one of Fatimas’s porcelain dolls, I know you have a bunch of unprocessed feelings about-”

“Don’t talk about her.” Santiago’s voice was deadly calm. Ben knew better.

He raised his hands defensively “You’re right, you’re right. I’m just saying, she’s not as fragile as you think she is” Ben continued to glance at Laci whenever he mentioned her, trying to coax her into the conversation. Santi was single mindedly on Ben. 

“Why does everyone say that? I don’t think she’s fragile, I’m just trying to help her.”

“You’re not helping her if you’re keeping her dependent on you.”

Santi blinked back at that “I’m not-”

“She about near had a panic attack when I went to the bathroom, man.”

Santi’s eyes widened. “You left her alone at the mall?”

Ben groaned “Santi, it’s fine, I was gone for one minute…. And then another minute when I went back to wash my hands.” Ben’s eyes met Laci’s, catching a small smile on her face.

Santi scrubbed his face. “Jesus Ben, that’s how people get sex trafficked!”

“That’s not-”

“I think I know how people get sex trafficked, Santiago.” Laci’s voice broke through the boys argument, louder and more irritated than either man had heard her.

Santi turned around, mouth slightly agape. He moved to talk, but Laci put a hand up. She was shaking, but fought to keep her words.

“Can you” She made sure to point at Santi, not Ben. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here?” 

She watched a mix of emotions flit through her face. “I’m sorry, Laci.”

Ben watched her, hoping she’d say more.

“It’s okay, Santi. I’m sorry we didn’t text you, when I fell in the creek, Ben tried to help and fell in, both our phones got waterlogged.” She suddenly looked really guilty. “I’m sorry, Ben says it’ll be okay but if it’s broke I’ll pay you back-”

“I’ll pay for it if it’s broken, Pope.” Ben interjected.

Santi shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I’m sorry for overreacting” Santi looked over to Benny as well, as good an apology as Ben ever got.

“Alright, I think ima head out.” Ben looked at Laci to make sure she was okay, then started to leave. “Oh, almost left with this.” He handed the bag to Laci, then walked out with a wave.

When the door closed, Santi and Laci’s eyes met, Laci with crossed arms.

Santi’s eyes glanced at the bag. “That what you’re mysterious trip about?”

Laci softened. “Feels kinda silly to give it to you now, after Benny’s doll comment.”

Laci saw Santi look at her with… wonder? He seemed mesmerized. “You got me something? H-how?”

She smiled, as the tension in her leaving. “Here” she handed the bag to him. 

Carefully, Santiago took the bag, hands shaking. When was the last time someone bought him a gift? He pulled out a porcelain dolls, dressed up in beautiful Victorian dress, complete with a hat and umbrella. “Lace… how did… how did you get this?”

Laci was rocking on her feet, wringing her hands, taking in his reaction. “Frankie always paid me when I baby sat, I told him not to but he insisted, so I saved up and got you this, to go with the others!”

Santi, for once, was speechless. He stared at the doll, feeling his eyes watering.

Laci watched him, his face almost blank. She couldn’t read it, she couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. For all his ability to read her, she could not read him. Did she cross a boundary? Should she have been saving the money to move out and stop bothering Santiago? Was it wrong to buy him something to put with his dead sisters items?

“Sorry, I probably should’ve asked about it, is this wrong-” anything else Laci was about to ramble on was cut off but Santiago settling the doll on the counter and wrapping her up in a hug. It wasn’t like the hug when she came through the door, it wasn’t possessive. She didn’t know what it was, but she never wanted him to stop.

Santiago woke up his house alarm system going off, every nerve in his body suddenly alight. Laci. Laci. Protect Laci. Grabbing the gun in his bedside drawer, Santi burst through the door, first scanning the front door. Nothing. He turned to his left to see the sliding glass door leading to the patio, and a figure in the door. “HANDS UP” He pointed the gun at the person in the door.

She screamed.

Laci screamed.

Keeping the gun out until he was sure they were safe. “Laci? What’s going on?”

But Laci was standing there, hands up, eyes clenched shut.

Laci, despite the loud alarm, heard Santi run over to her. She flinched when he touched her. What was he saying? Was he talking to her? Logically, he knew he wouldn’t hurt her, he’d never hurt her, but her body didn’t know that. She was frozen. As Santi checked the surrounding area, making sure there was no impending danger, Laci tried to focus on her breathing. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. You’re okay, it’s just Santi, Santi wouldn’t hurt you, you’re safe with him, safe, safe, safe…

The alarms turned off, and Laci felt his strong arms wrap around her shaking body. She clung to him, clung to him with everything in her. Was he talking to her? She didn’t bother listening until she calmed down. Finally, she heard him.

“Lace? What’s going on? You alright, Muñecita?” He stroked her hair gently, an extra bit of comfort, calming her.

She nodded.

He sighed, ever so slightly, knowing this meant he wasn’t going to be able to get a word out of her. 

“Did you need something outside?”

She shook her head.

“Did you just want to go outside?”

She nodded. She needed air. The fight, even though it didn’t concern her as much as it did Benny, as well as the big steps of leaving Santi and being left alone had left her shaken. When Santi didn’t come out to watch tv with her, the room had become stifling and lonely, so big and so small at the same time. She was happier outside, in nature. That’s why she explored with Ben, much to Santi’s chagrin. 

“Here, honey, let’s step outside then, get some air?”

She nodded against his chest where he held her close. He knew her so well.

Laci slowly opened her eyes to be greeted with a softly smiling Santiago, his beautiful face so close to her like so many times before. His eyes alone comforted her.

“Hey pretty girl” He spoke gently, letting go briefly to grab a throw blanket he wrapped around her, taking her outside to the bare deck. “Sorry, I promise I’ll order some furniture tomorrow. You can pick it out, whatever you want” That’s another thing about him. It was his house, his home she was intruding on, and yet he apologized to her for not having patio furniture. “Can we sit on the floor?”

Laci nodded. Santi helped her sit, laying her down so her head laid on his lap. She felt his hands in her hair, fingers gently stroking her cheek. For a man who had seen and done so much, he had never been anything but gentle with her. For most of her teen and adult life, Laci had chosen men who were loud, exciting, boisterous, much like her brother. They weren’t always bad, loud men weren’t always the ones to hurt her. Her brother was as extraverted as they came and he was everything to her. Benny was her best friend. But Santi? Santi had a calming quality, something she needed. Something she cherished. Something she never wanted to be without. She’d do whatever it took to keep him.

Santiago watched her, watched her carefully. He had scared her really bad, he knew that. He knew he was a dick today. Benny had been getting him more and more riled up lately, and although Santi would like to blame it on Ben just being more annoying, he knew that was just rationalizing it. He was jealous. Plain old jealous. Jealous of the time Laci and Benny spent together, jealous at how relaxed Laci seemed to be around him, jealous over how much Laci talked to him. She seemed to freeze up less with him around. Did she like him? He was almost certain Benny wanted her, well, who wouldn’t. Look at her. Ben was a good guy. Santi knew Ben wouldn’t just want to have sex with her; he could get that anywhere. If Laci wanted to be with him… so be it.

But damn if Santiago didn’t want her to stay. Stay with him forever, really. Right now, under the moon, she was damn near ethereal. He thought of their song, oh how fitting it had become.

You in the moonlight, with your sleepy eyes

Could you ever love a man like me?

Could she ever love a man like him? He was broken, he was a disaster, he was rough around the edges in a way Benny was not. He’d change. He’d do better, he’d be better, whatever she needed him to be.

Laci looked up at him. She needed something. He brushed a wisp of hair from her face.  “What is it Muñecita?”

Laci held one hand out, palm out, and waved another hand over it. Sign language for music.

“You wanna listen to something? Yeah, let me grab my phone-” He standed to get up, but felt Laci’s grip on his thigh as she shook her head. 

Stay

“What… what you want? I’m sorry, I don’t have my phone on me…”

Laci fully rolled over, back of her head on Pope’s thick thigh. She reached a hand up and tapped his lips.

Sing

Santo let out a nervous puff of hair. “You want me to sing? I’m not really… I’m not a good singer…” 

But she looked at him pleadingly, begging him… how could he say no.

“Okay, okay Lace, but I warned you.” Santi winked, kissing her nose. ‘What do you want to hear? Leather and Lace?”

She shook her head.

“Uhhh, Songbird?” Her favorite Fleetwood Mac song.

Another no, she frowned.

“A Bob Dylan song?”

Another no, she was growing frustrated, her legs fidgeting. She was trying so hard to talk, she wanted so badly to just tell him… 

“Hey, hey Lace it’s okay, don’t worry, we’ll figure it out… is there a clue you can give me?” 

Laci though for a moment. Then, she reached for his wrist, pointing at his watched.

“Oh. Tanto?” 

Laci nodded, smiling.  It was a song that was obviously so important to him, but she hadn’t heard it yet.

“I can sing that… I only know the Spanish, is that okay?”

She nodded. Santi stroked her face, playing with her hair.

Tú dices que: soy imposible de descifrar

Callada, reservada y temperamental

Que te encantaría que me expresa un poco más

Y hablar de sentimientos a mí no se me da

Pero lo voy a intentar

Santiago combed back her hair away from her face, scanning over her features. His eyes fell over the scar on her forehead. He thought of when he first found her, her forehead bleeding and dried blood on her face. It always upset him to think of everything she endured, and he had to bite back the anger that sss inside him.

Te amo tanto

Tanto que me siento tonta

Tonta que me duela tanto cuando tú no estás

Te amo tanto

Y para que imagines cuanto

Cuenta todas las estrellas y súmale una más

He was everything to her, her whole word. She knew that even when she no longer needed him for a place to stay and for the things he provided, she’d need him for him. Santiago Garcia was her center of gravity, the only thing keeping her grounded and sane. She wanted this forever. The days with Benny, Will, Frankie and him. The nights alone in his arms.

Soy reservado no lo tomes personal

Tanta cursilería, me suele incomodar

Si me quedó sin palabras no es intencional, ja

¿Cómo expresar algo que yo no sé explicar?

Pero lo voy a intentar

His eyes were drawn back to hers, finding them glued to him. He was damn near transfixed. Pope could not imagine a more perfect moment, he wanted nothing more than for this night to last forever, just them. He’s doing her every song he knew. Laci and her sleepy eyes, only open to look at him. Santiago had neer been in love before, but he was starting to think this was it. She was everything he could ever want, and she was laying with him, of all people

Te amo tanto

Tanto que me siento tonto

Tonto que me duela tanto cuando tú no estás

Te amo tanto

Y para que imagines cuanto

Cuenta todas las estrellas

Y súmale una más, ja, y súmale una más

Laci was engrossed in his eyes. Beautiful and brown, she felt she could be content looking at them for the rest of her life, nothing else. Still, she scanned over his features on his beautiful face. Strong jaw, large nose, thick curly hair with a hint of gray from all the stress he had seen. His face with lines that carried every horrific thing he had witnessed. Perfect. He was perfect. And he was singing to her, his beautiful voice in his native tongue. Perfect.

Te amo tanto

Tanto que no sé explicarlo

Tanto que hasta yo me espanto

Solo de pensar

Santiago wasn’t a religious man, but tonight, he looked up at the sky, all the stars sparkling at him. He thanked God for bringing him to her, thanked God that it was in time, thanked him that she was alive. He thanked Him that the scar is the worst of her physical scars, and that she was coming along so well, adjusting as well as one could expect. He thanked God for her.

Te amo tanto

Tanto que me siento tonto

Tonto que me duela tanto cuando tú no estás

Te amo tanto

Y para que imagines cuanto

Cuenta todas las estrellas

Y súmale una más, ja, y súmale una más

Laci wanted to kiss him, she wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to feel him move inside her. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, like this, with him, with him… Only Santiago. She wanted to tell him she loved him. Laci wanted to scream at the top her lungs that she loved him and god, did he love her? She opened her mouth.

Santi looked at her patiently. “Yes, Muncecita.”

She tried. She tried to get it out. I love you! I love you! I love you! But nothing happened. Words couldn’t find their way to her lips. Her eyes were fighting to stay open.

Santiago kissed her forehead, prompting her eyes closed, and they didn’t open.

“It’s okay Lace, go to sleep. I’ll be right here.”

When Santiago felt her breathing slow and her snoring start, he carefully scooped her up, carrying her inside the house and to her bed, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist and arms around his neck. Cradling her head, he laid her down on the pillow. With one more kiss on her cheek, he whispered.

“Goodnight, Lacina, I love you”

*******************

THANKS FOR READING!! reblogs help a lot, comments mean the world!!!

Spotify playlist: if anyone has songs you think fit, comment it send an ask!

I would take the handful of you who are passionate about this story that a hundred likes. The fact y'all get so excited and leave such nice comments means the world to me

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[navree]

Why do people (especially here in tumblr) hate Tyrion so much?

I mean, from what I've seen, quite a lot of people like Tyrion, considering he's a well written character and his storylines are both some of the most compelling and the most central to one of the two core plots (the politics side of ASOIAF, while Jon's the one most central to The Others side). I think we also need to divide it up into show Tyrion and book Tyrion, because the reason people dislike show Tyrion is that he turned into a little idiot once D&D had to actually write out his plans himself and it's incredibly frustrating to watch him continually be such a fuck up but the narrative still treating him like he's in the right. Also his issues with Dany make no sense even before The Bells, which is also a heavy factor.

For book Tyrion, I mentioned it in a prior ask, but Tyrion's chapters can be genuinely hard to read. Tyrion is incredibly misogynistic - I don't consider this a flaw in the writing, GRRM is being incredibly purposeful with it and it's there for a reason and a lot of his actions are understandable, and Tyrion where he is in the books right now is in the midst of a darkening downward spiral for the furtherance of his arc - and even ignoring his actions, his constant thinking about how he wants to be violent towards various women he dislikes or sexually assault them (him constantly talking about wanting to rape and kill Cersei for thinking that he killed Joffrey when he knows she genuinely believes it, unlike Tywin who was using it as an excuse to get rid of him is particularly galling for me) can literally be draining. For me at least, it can be an actual trial to get through some of Tyrion's chapters, not just because the misogyny he exhibits is so constant, but also because this isn't a way of thinking that's isolated to ASOIAF.

The series tackles very real world issues, but still within the confines of a world and system most readers are never going to experience. It is highly unlikely that most of the readers are going to experience what it's like to live under a feudal system modeled on Middle Ages Europe and all the issues that entails, but men who feel that women owe them sex just cuz they're having it with another man (like Tyrion says to Cersei in ACOK), men who hit a significant other for saying the wrong thing (like Tyrion does to Shae in either ACOK or ASOS), men who take their own anger at their misperceptions out on other women (like Tyrion killing Shae in ASOS), men who immediately feel sexually violent when angry at women (like how Tyrion thinks about Cersei in ADWD), men who still have sex with women who are clearly not into it or in a position to consent because their pleasure matters more to them (like Tyrion with the slave in ADWD)? Those are very real men, that any female reader of ASOIAF can run into or have in her life.

There's also other stuff, I don't know how popular these reasons are but this is from my perspective, that Tyrion does that sometimes make me roll my eyes, mostly just things like not realizing that summarily banishing Janos might read badly to the general populace, or his tendency to be kinda rude to people who serve him like Pod (he's highborn, it's not unexpected but still aggravating), or even the fact that, for as smart as he is, he's nowhere near as smart as he thinks he is, especially when it comes to interacting with other people. Again, all of these are purposeful parts of Tyrion's character, they're not being done accidentally, but if I'm looking at Tyrion as a person, separate from a character constructed by an author (which I do generally try to do, since I think there's a difference between liking a character as a character and liking them as a person, similar to how I can find certain historical figures interesting but still dislike who they were as people), these also aren't things I particularly like about him.

I've said this before, but I don't think Tyrion is all bad. There's stuff I like about his arc, about how he's written, about what he means as a character and the things he does, and his place in the narrative, but as a person? No, I don't like Tyrion, and the reasons I don't like Tyrion are reasons that other people do share. It can be tough spending time in his head, what with all the aforementioned misogyny, and that can be enough of a turn off for people, especially socially conscious readers or female readers who have to deal with the real life misogyny Tyrion's is inspired from. That doesn't mean that no one likes Tyrion (most people I know actually do like him quite a lot, and he's an incredibly popular character, as well as the author's personal favorite), or that someone's a bad person for liking him, but there are reasons for the dislike some people have, and for me at least, these are mine.

[destinyc1020]

Tom was so funny for that “It was my fault… kinda… sorta” He can’t help but be honest in interviews 😂 I’m sure they came to the conclusion that they both made mistakes.

Well, the interviewer asked a very intimate question that he probably didn't even see coming lol 😆 It wasn't really a typical interview question imo. It was so stealthily done too lol.... "This film goes into heartbreak and how it affects people... have you, Tom Holland ever had your heart broken? Or have you ever even had your heart broken?" (Very LOOSELY paraphrasing).

The way she worded the question was so ingenious cuz of course he knows he's been heartbroken before, and he doesn't wanna come off like a jerk like, "oh no, I've NEVER had my heart broken before lol" lol 😄

But then, he had to go back and clarify that he sorta broke it himself lol 😆

Idk I just feel like it was a good answer to a good question.

I love it when interviewers ask unique/deep questions without being rude or too intrusive.

He could have easily just said, "no comment", or, "I'd rather not talk about my personal life", but no, he was open and honest! He gave enough without giving TOO much.

I thought it was perfect actually 😄👌🏾

But yea, I'm SO SURE they both had some regrets about how they operated in 1.0, and they both seemed to regret their breakup too.

But like I've said before, some couples actually NEED to break up lol. 😆 I honestly don't think they would be as strong as they are today if they hadn't broken up.

Plus, they were so young when they first started dating each other. I personally think they needed to both date other ppl honestly. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I know that's an unpopular opinion, but sometimes when you've been together with someone for so long during those younger formative years, you actually DO need to kinda take a break, date some other ppl for a while, and get a new perspective on ppl and on life. There's a reason why ppl date many people before settling down. That's all I'll say. And if you still love your ex, then go back to them if they're still available and the love is still there. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[calicohyde]

Happy STS! What is the best novel you've ever read? What did you like about it, from a storytelling perspective? Has it influenced or informed your own approach?

*instantly forgets every book i've ever read in my life*

in the name of. having an answer. i will pick The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. i don't remember it well enough after so long after having read it (and i've only read it the once) to pick out specific storytelling mechanics, but i do remember being impressed and thinking it was very well done in addition to having a lot of important things to say and being engaging and entertaining. i also remember i had borrowed it, and then texted the friend i'd borrowed it from to ask if he had the next book and if i could come pick it up right then. at 3AM.

one particular thing about the TGWTDT original trilogy (the only ones i personally count as "canon" lol) that really stuck out to me as unique and special to me personally and that i've wanted to see more of since - and am planning to be the change i want to see wrt - are its quote unquote "unlikeable" protagonists.

lisbeth is autistic and point blank refuses to mask, and in addition she's acerbic and angry and tends to reach violence as a much sooner resort than many, she's not exactly arrogant but she would never even dream of not taking credit and representing her skills accurately or god forbid using upspeak, she simply does not follow rules (or conventions or etiquette) she thinks are stupid and she's vocal and unapologetic about it, she's an actual genuine punk and fucks severely and without romance (until mikael), and as far as i remember she never once says sorry to anyone for anything no matter what. i love her with every fiber of my being.

mikael is a workaholic which is not unique, except that everyone hates his guts for being so single-minded and rigid and unavailable, which is, and which i really liked. of course people would not find him fun to be around. he also is arrogant, and a hypocrite, and can be unkind. and these two are the best good guys we've got! (this is also why i discount the opinion of anyone who claims mikael is a "romanticized" self-insert on larsson's part like bruhhh.... just cuz they have the same job? this bitch is not a romanticized version of anyone or anything he's a fucking rat bastard who happens to also be a good man smdh. i mean maybe he is a self-insert but not a fucking romanticized one! he sucks! i'm passionate about this.)

i also really liked the age range of the characters and the polyamory and the queers. additionally, larsson has a really unique and fascinating writing style (which critics have attributed to his writing career starting in investigative journalism before he ever did creative writing or fiction). i think it fits absolutely perfectly with the protagonists and the subject matter, and the way those things match up and meld together makes the series so much more absorbing.

but yeah i always liked a writing style and a narrative voice that was fitted to the characters/content, and i think larsson did it particularly well - even if it's a sort of chicken or egg situation with him. we'll never know since he died of those Natural Causes before he could write anything else and all. anyway! i would have done this regardless, because literally all of my favorite authors do it to some degree, which is why they are my favorite authors. (much of what people say are benefits you can "only" get from first person narration i feel you can get just as well from a limited third person, if you uh. try.) but yeah TGWTDT is a stand-out example!

i also can't necessarily give TGWTDT/larsson credit for my life long love affair with angry and contrarian good guys, but again it's a stand-out example and an aspiration in this.

thank you for the ask, nico!! <3

[dojae-huh]

I can't believe I found ur acc after about 3 whole years of searching that was long.. I read ur blog in like 2020/2021 I think and ever since, I've never come across someone with such a unique take on jaedo. I secretly enjoy ur blog ngl. I need to read the whole thing ^^

I liked how you mentioned that jaedo are already in a relationship and that was very different from my thoughts on them cuz to me jaehyun was still pinning on doyoung and it has always been a one sided or maybe even unrequited love..

But observing jaedo over the years till now, the theories are always endless. Like how I'm now sure doyoung knows very well jaehyun has feelings for him but he doesn't know how to reciprocate the feelings.

One day it's like dy can go well with jaehyun's little flirting remarks and banter then the next he's completely ignoring his entire presence??

To understand where dy stands will always be complicated but with jaehyun, how come he's so patient and so understanding to wait for all these years? Unless they're already dating, but that's a stretch. To me at least I can't see it like that.

If jaedo are currently going out, then I'd say it's very cruel to jaehyun cuz of what normally happens. It's been years, and doyoung only gives his attention to jh sometimes (oncam) while for jaehyun he'll break his neck for dy even at the slightest mention of his name.

One thing that helped me from ur blog was how u mentioned the thing about jaehyun's mother and how strict she was and the way he would want her to praise him by doing stuff like washing the dishes and stuff. It really put everything into perspective.

Jaehyun is braver than doyoung, that's for sure, but he's not brave enough to confess to dy. His teasing and small compliments are a way to get doyoungs attention to focus on him he hasn't done anything more. Same with how he washed the dishes, he'll do everything to make dy notice him but a confession hasn't happened yet I fear. (Even tho dy probably knows by know, and the entirety of ilichil)

I always ask myself this question who has the upper hand in jaedo (that's a bit toxic :*) but to me it's like who has a say in the relationship and how to move forward with it. My answer has always been dy but it recently changed.

The same way jh was the first one to catch feels (obvi) he'll be the same person to organise his thoughts and feelings if things don't work out with dy. I Wish him all the luck btw :( (dy is my ult jh is just a bias)

But if jaehyun suddenly pulls away from dy completely how will dy react? I feel like doyoung is not honest with his feelings, he might not like or even like jh but it's like he doesn't want to address it at all. (My opinion is purely based on observing them over the years)

I think the time for jaedo closure is a now or never thing. cuz with the military enlistment coming soon things might never go well for them.

Hi, welcome back.

Well, as much as it is interesting to read another person's point of view, to know how the same events are interpreted by a different mind, I can't agree to entertain your version. There are no endless possibilities. And it's not me being stubborn or narrow-minded or wishful-thinking, I simply considered all scenarios and scratched off those that are not supported by the facts from reality.

You say you observe JaeDo over the years, but it seems from your words you are too moved by the daily fluctuations. You look at the waves and not the sea bottom underneath. And you are talking about two grown up gay men like they are teenagers in Victorian era.

They are all fake on camera. Jaehyun, Doyoung, Haechan, Yuta with his Mark. It is not their life, it is their job. They have personas, images. Doyoung directly says his boyfriend pics for Insta is image, that they live the life of pretence, that he switches from Doyoung to Dongyoung. And yet, many still put too much importance on what happens before cameras. I mean, it definitely helps to draw the picture, but it's not their personal life.

Do a thought experiment. Ask yourself why would Jaehyun be still in love with Doyoung after all these years if all he ever knows is Doyoung being cruel to him? Is Jaehyun a masochist? Doyoung ignores him and Jaehyun instead of suffering sends him a megaton watt smile back his direction? When Doyoung really ignores Jaehyun, Jaehyun makes Doyoung's life hard (how it was in 2017). Jaehyun is not a patient guy, nor is he capable of yelding to others on things that matter to him.

JaeDo live in a homophobic society, but not in one where coming out means being thrown off the roof of a building. Dating a collegue or confessing, being rejected, and moving on is a much more usual and healthy way to pestering feelings over 10 years. They work 24/7 together, they can't afford endless pining or endless denial of feelings unless they are both internally homophobic (which they are not).

The common sense aside. JaeDo still pining after each other is simply not supported by what is observed in reality. For starters, there won't be any reason to pretend to dislike each other on public instead of being second TaeDo. As well as being censored by the company. They have to lie to the public because they are honest with themselves.

P.S. You watch too little content. Jaehyun said he is the type to confess right away. While Doyoung said he thinks if you love someone you should let the person know.

[gorogues]

tricksterrune replied to your text post: Clearly he has a pair of dice in his fist, ready to fling them dramatically at the right opportunity

Oh yes, clearly!

aukisstic replied to your ask post: THANK YOU I hate the pride special so much…

Yeah, I just did not think that story was good at all.

demonbirdsforever replied to your ask post: See this is where I go… they were in other comics!? I missed those!🥺

The Rogues are in tons of issues (cumulatively), but not all those stories are great :>

it-is-i-zim replied to your ask post: Not to be weird or anything but rn I actually feel like for Captain Boomerang, Knight Terrors Robin #1 or Suicide Squad Blaze as a whole are the worse than Suicide Squad v4

You're not being weird at all, but neither of those are canon. If I'd included non-canon stuff the list would have been really different lol, but in hindsight I should have made that clear.

it-is-i-zim replied to your ask post: Cuz Suicide Squad Blaze treated him like he was nothing more than a joke (and called him Captain Cultural Appropriation, which if we take Suicide Squad v4 #26 into account, where his mother is aboriginal, it feels like the writers just don’t know him), killed him off revealed that he was actually assaulted by whatever monster he was fighting and then killed him off for real.

Believe me, I agree that story was terrible :] It just didn't make the list because thankfully it's an AU.

it-is-i-zim replied to your ask post: And then in Knight Terrors: Robin #1 like… I understand it’s supposed to be from Tim Drake’s perspective, but it really paints Captain Boomerang in a really bad light. Like he killed Jack Drake on purpose. When he didn’t even throw the boomerang until he was collapsing from 3 gunshot wounds to the chest.

Well, Digger did go there to kill Jack, but Identity Crisis was a terrible story anyway. I should have included it in my worst Digger stories list, and am not sure how I forgot. I'll add it with a note that it's a late addition.

it-is-i-zim replied to your ask post: Like… The beginning of Suicide Squad v4, yeah, I agree, they fucked over Digger big time, but at least it got better at the end, despite issue #26 also calling him Owen instead.

It's of course a very subjective matter (all best/worst lists are), but I just thought those comics were straight up edgy and terrible. I've never liked any Adam Glass or Ales Kot comics.

it-is-i-zim replied to your ask post: Suicide Squad v1 was also Not Great™ as a whole due to the use of slurs for aboriginal people within it. Issue 4 was the worst of those where on top of using a slur for an aboriginal person to a black man, he also said black people can’t be artists and tried agree with a Nazi and made the super racist statement that minorities commit the most petty crimes.

This is also subjective, and I get where you're coming from but I don't think they're bad comics. It's fine if you don't like it -- a lot of people don't like what was done with Digger in that series, and that's valid -- but I think it's a good series. It hasn't always aged well, but it's the reason the Suicide Squad concept exists to this day. The racism is tough to read, but Ostrander was making a point about the garbage Waller, Bronze Tiger, and Vixen have to fight through to do their jobs and just exist as Black people. It does suck for Rogue fans that Digger was chosen to be the problematic mouthpiece, though, so I understand why some people don't like it. I agree it was a very drastic swing from his pre-Crisis characterization, so I don't love that aspect either.

it-is-i-zim replied to your ask post: Sorry, I have many thoughts on the true worst Captain Boomerang comic.

That's fine! :)

it-is-i-zim replied to your ask post: Also for Owen I’d argue for the Supergirl v5 comics. Cuz apparently that version of Supergirl that he’s not only rooming with, but is also trying to get with is 16. And he’s like… Literally an adult man. He literally called that version of Supergirl “jailbait” in one of the better comics of the bunch.

Yeah, I have mixed feelings on that series. It wasn't good, but unfortunately I think a lot of Owen's stories weren't great so to me it doesn't necessarily stand out. He's a good character who's been in a lot of mediocre stories…in part because a lot of DC's output was mediocre around that time.

demonbirdsforever replied to your text post: I read the Catwoman issues you recommended and now understand the kiss.

Hope you enjoyed it!

[land-sh]

Helloooo!! Totally not dropping in to deliver some asks from the HBO war ask game you reblogged 🤫

So, if ur down to answer some questions: 19, 3, 7, and 21?

Hiiii! Totally not, cuz actually it was your idea from the beginning, I mean...

Soooo, let me think... 🤔

19. Did any of the series change your perspective on the historical events? How?

Everything (? Well, it's just that I had never been so interested in the topic of World War II focused on American soldiers. I was much more interested in everything related to the Holocaust and/or the Germans. But I always appreciate learning a bit more about any topic.

I've been told that there are some small inconsistencies in the series. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to spot them yet.

3. Have you read any of the books related to the series?

None. 😭 What do you think? Should I?

7. What was your favorite thing about Band of Brothers?

Gosh, this one's hard to define. Basically, it's very well done. In my opinion, I think all the details are beautifully executed, as the perspective of the soldiers, their evolution throughout the entire season, is endearing. The actors' performances are also commendable. I just love seeing men in homoerotic situations and the speirton, let's not forget the speirton. 🤭

AND THIS BEAUTIFUL FANDOM, YOU ALL. I would have never found you if it weren't for BoB. I adore you. 🤗

21. Are you excited for Masters of the Air?

I am! Who wouldn't be by now? I feel like a missed a lot already because I didn't watch HBOwar long time ago. I won't make the same mistake again.

Thank you so much for your questions, I'll reach you very soon! 🥰