#cuz fuck us i guess. but like. i'm not upset about it. i'm just like. fuck them their loss lmao

[my-thirteenth-reason]

kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)

[vicsdeangelis]

crazy how getting a life made me less invested in må lmao

[cesium-sheep]

she went to sleep out in the living room as soon as I laid down in bed, which is not that unusual lately but is very easy to interpret badly right now.

[weebsinstash]

Do you think Nolan or Thragg would ever be a GirlDad (TM)? Like, I can imagine Nolan finding out his wife is pregnant with a girl, and he thinks he's going to treat her the same as Mark, but then he holds her in his arms for the 1st time and all of a sudden she's Daddy's Little Princess and he's teaching her how to subjugate her enemies during her "princess tea parties" and they're both wearing tiaras cuz "Please daddy?" with puppy dog eyes.

Hooting hollering howling and slapping my knee because I never finished the goddamn post but if you take a gander over here in my drafts

SAME BRAINCELL WOO WOO

That gif is his response to you asking when you get to date lmaooo

I almost wrote like something short for it, and I kind of am constantly bouncing around between "Do I want this to be short or long or what" but I can just imagine daughter Reader and Nolan going at it "you just don't want me to date because you want me to save myself for a VILTRUMITE man, don't you?! Humans aren't good enough, huh?! I'm 'too good for a human man'?!" And he just loses it and shouts back "you're too good for ANY man, you don't NEED any man, I'M the only man you need, I'M your FATHER!!" Like. Nolan is one of those super dare I use the term emotionally incestuous yandere dads

Like. Ok I guess this is a throwaway spoiler because I would be absolutely fucking shocked if they bothered to animate this, it's such a small deal, but like. Idk. Idk. How do I phrase this. "There's another character in the series who also has to deal with their daughter wanting to have A Ho Phase and Daddy Doesn't Like It" and for the love of fucking god Nolan and Thragg wouldn't let you date for absolute shit. No dating, no fucking, you are, their pure innocent sweet but also savage little fierce warrior princess and you are untouched by no man like the goddess Artemis to them.

God. Having a yelling screaming argument where you're just so upset, "OH YEAH WELL YOU KNOW YOUR CHANCELLORS SON, THE ONE I MET THE OTHER WEEK? YEAH, YEAH, I FUCKED HIM, I FUCKED HIM IN MY BED, IN THE HOUSE YOU PROVIDE FOR ME, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, DADDY" and that's like OH MY GOD you've cut them so deep it's like actual fucking sacrilege to them. The EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. Fists are nothing knives are nothing bombs are nothing BUT HEARING THAT THEIR BABY GIRL GOT DEFLOWERED? It's like a fucking DEBUFF. Imagine you scream at Nolan about how you sucked off a Viltrumite HIS AGE and he just PHYSICALLY STUMBLES, HAS TO REGAIN HIS BALANCE, HAND OVER HIS HEART

And Thragg is, obsessively hollering about how you're the Grand Regents daughter and you're of too high status for any of these males, just screaming at you, "WHY DID I CATCH THAT MAN'S TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH? HE IS BENEATH YOU" and you hit him with "YEAH HE WAS BENEATH ME, AND BEHIND ME, AND ON TOP OF ME--" and Thragg gets so fucking RED, I feel like he's one of those wall punching dads. He won't ever hit you but he might manhandle-grab you and physically intimidate you at times. Thragg can just give you The Look and you INSTANTLY know you're in for a punishment, or that he's absolutely furious, and you're on your knees, "Please Daddy I'm sorry I didn't mean it, I was angry, please don't be upset with me, i-i-i just dont like you being disappointed in me, i love you and i want us to get along 🥺" and like. Obviously it works. But. He's not mad at YOU, he's mad at THE GUY, so, as cute and effective as buttering him up or even just genuinely being afraid and pleading earnestly is, you're not his target. The guy's still getting, tortured and maimed or something. But thanks for telling Father you love him, that'll perk him up during his next planet raid ❤️

BUT NO LITERALLY ACTUALLY Nolan with his knees bent in a little tiny plastic chair nearly on the ground with his little fake cup of tea as he sits there having "tea" with you and your Princess Ladybug doll and he's all, "now sweetheart, what did we learn today?" "That if we defeat our enemies, we should also take out their family and their allies, so they don't come back for vengeance?" "Yes sweetie, that's so good, you're so smart 🥰"

Nolan/Thragg getting in a physical fight and they could be getting maimed and disembowled or taking punches and it's like whatever, they're still chilling, but, do some shit like, knock their treasured keychain out of their pocket that you gave them or an embroidered handkerchief or just a little personal photo of you they keep on them gets ruined in the scuffle, oh, oh, NOW they're fucking pissed, NOW they've got some serious unfinished business in this fight and their opponents get DEMOLISHED and they're sitting there pouting with their broken/ruined thing you gave them because even if they got a new one from you, this one still had memories and sentimental value

I feel like similar to parents keeping baby teeth, Thragg would keep things like, first weapon you ever trained with, memorial photo of your first spar with another child that you won, your first flightsuit, a toddlers toy that was crushed on accident because you suddenly got your powers and had far too much strength than you knew what to do with. And Nolan, if he's raising you on Earth with Debbie, he's at all your school functions, whether it's dancing or sports, and if you aren't in those things, he encourages you HEAVILY (it totally isn't. Training or anything or making sure you're staying fit and active for anything in the future hahaha). He's taking photos and cheering in the crowds. He wants your art in his office. He wants to play games with you once you get your powers. He buys a case for any medals and trophies to proudly display.

Also like do you have any idea how much of an actual phenomenon it is, I've seen videos of it, where dads basically have infinitely more sympathy for their new daughters when they already have sons. I distinctly remember a video where a man was holding his second-born, his first daughter, and he was like weeping because he was feeling intense empathy for his infant daughter because she was crying and looking at him as he held her, and the wife was filming and it was captioned "he never did this with our son" and like. LMAO, THAT'S NOLAN WITH YOU WHEN YOU CRY. THAT'S THRAGG SUDDENLY GIVING A FUCK ABOUT ONLY YOU SPECIFICALLY AFTER LIKE TONS OF KIDS.

Daughter Reader would definitely be their spoiled little princess but you're also their spoiled little princess under very specific terms of CONTAINMENT AND SURVEILLANCE. You've got curfews, they need to know who your friends are, what families do they come from, what do their parents do. They'll treat you like a princess but they'll also socially isolate you from others and. Basically control your life. And if you ever try and pull away from Dear Old Dad, well. Viltrumites can have some pretty extreme reactions. Will Nolan have to disfigure that boy you won't stop talking to? Will Thragg have to build a pretty little cell so that his adult daughter doesn't sneak out to drink and fuck unknown men? That's up to how much of an obedient faithful daughter you want to be. Don't make them do something only you will regret ❤️

Jfjfkfm EDIT; I ALSO TOTALLY MISSES YOU SENT THIS

No but absolutely you're sitting there in your little costume jewelry as you twist a barbie doll and wring her like a towel "for disobeying High Queen Princess Barbie" and here's Thragg, "that's very good. The chain of command should always be respected" and you just happily start chattering away in that "im a small child and I don't know how to keep secrets or lie" kind of way

"Then Teddy Mason from down the street chased me into the woods and I kept telling him to stop but he kept using a stick to pull up my skirt so I grabbed him by the leg and threw him up into the air so he went SPLAT when he came back down!!" And you bang your little hand down on your table and Thragg is nodding in approval and Nolan just comes in looking mortified because he has no idea why Thragg is there until he. Sees that you're putting all kinds of stupid plastic hair clips in the man's hair and even his mustache and giggling and putting stickers on him And Thragg Is Just Totally Letting It Happen. Just totally casual, "Ah Nolan, you're finally here" and stands up to talk to Nolan with you in his arms or on his shoulder or just, hovering around him continuing to play with all the hair clips while your very horrified father is wondering what alternate dimension he just stumbled into to see the Grand Regent so. Calm.

The two men go into the other room "to have a grownup talk" and are they talking about the invasion? About Viltrum? No, Thragg is demanding to see all your baby photos as Nolan starts pulling out all his photo albums with absolute glee

[nekropsii]

hello!I have a question about your alpha troll iceberg.

When did kurloz sexually assault meulin?I cannot find the source for it on my own.

I’m also a little skeptical since:

1.kurloz feels some form of guilt for deafening meulin.Not as much guilt as he shows,considering how he technically breaks his oath of silence by using his purpleblood magic

2.he isn’t openly sexual other than getting the codpiece,which I view as him following any orders from gamzee and/or lord English.And also his game sprite may have a bulge to it?im not sure about my second point

3.i don’t know why he would do that because he doesn’t abuse meulin that way.In openbound 2,he treats meulin more as an easy pawn to assist him in his malicious plans to help lord english & gamzee rather than sexually assaulting her to ruin her and then manipulating her.

I’m really curious to know when this happened,since it would reframe his already atrocious actions as even worse

Also I have a bias since I have a weird attachment to kurloz for no canon compliant reason.

Hopefully this isn’t too long…it probably is but I hope 8]

I applaud the thoroughness, actually, and thank you for reaching out. I love when people ask me to Cite My Sources, so to speak.

It's in one of the Signing portions of their interactions, so I do not necessarily blame you for missing it.

This is clearly non-consensual touching that is being framed as Upsetting on Meulin's end and Deliberately Creepy on Kurloz's.

I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Well, I feel bad about it, obviously, assault is literally always bad, but I really cannot decipher Kurloz as a character. Not fully, really, 'cuz he doesn't have much of one. To me, this reads as a pure, unadulterated Makara Moment, and I'm frankly just kind of tired of it. Kurloz's character is just a nebulous haze of Plot Instigation and Racism. Gamzee's character is also just a nebulous haze of Plot Instigation and Racism. These are both characters who are coded as Black, who are portrayed as being very dominating, abusive, and physically + sexually violent - especially Gamzee. Kurloz doing this is weird, but it's not... Shocking, I guess.

His relationship with Meulin is absolutely, uh... Troubled... To put it nicely... What, with him manipulating her into a cult and mind controlling her into doing his bidding all the time, on top of this assault, the Bullshit Clown Magic having the side effects of Confusion, Brain Fog, and Memory Loss, and her still seeming to have some kind of suppressed attraction to him... It's complicated. I think it could be genuinely very fascinating to explore, if one has the stomach for it. And a deft enough hand... And is capable of handling it all with maximum sensitivity. It's verging on something really good... But it falls kind of flat, and it's fucking exhausting that we're having this same damn conversation with another fucking Makara.

This could be done extremely well. There's some genuinely solid grounds here for exploring a very complex, very visceral abusive relationship, kind of like what was going on with Gamzee and Terezi, but... There was both just not enough time to set that up fully, and also I am so tired of Makaras being Like That.

I wish I could say this was surprising. I really do. It's not, though. It's like... On par with Gamzee being kind of a Necrophile. I just have to sigh and throw my hands up and accept it. Like, god dammit, okay, I guess we're doing this today! Sure! Whatever! Fuck my life.

[rybonucleic-ket]

what evidence is there that kyle is trans in your opinion. i actually think there's more evidence for tran stan.

I mean bet send me all your trans stan ev I'm interested

there's a whole episode of kyle insisting that his vagina doesn't have sand in it.

and he's pretty regularly insisting he's not on his period.

like i mean whatever if he said 'I don't have a vagina!!' or 'I can't get my period dipshit, cartmans a dick and jokes about it all the time, kyle just says 'I DON'T HAVE SAND IN MY VAGINA!' 'I'm not on my period, cartman'

actually, with regard to getting his period. "I can just say I got my period! it's not like they'll check. i can just say i got my period because I really will get it one day. it's not really lying, just jumping the gun a little."

in the metrosexual ep, kyle gets made fun of for being really uncomfortable wearing feminine clothes "I like being a filthy, dirty little boy!"

--

sheila: "you see, kyle, sometimes a person's outside doesn't reflect who they are on the inside."

kyle: "yeah! that's right!" (*looking at his chest* 🧐🏳️‍⚧️)

sheila: "they feel like they're somebody trapped in another person's body. and so, they can have a surgery that makes them more into the person they see themselves as. do you understand?"

kyle: (*smiles* *man had his hands on his chest the whole time sheila was talking 🧐🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🧐🧐🧐*) "totally! I totally understand!"

--

"I guess what I'm saying is I'm starting to feel a lot of guilt. just for being a boy." (when guys were talking shit about women online)

--

guy on tv: "scratch your balls."

kyle: 🤨😟🤔 *confused*

guy on tv: "or, if you don't have balls, scratch whatever else may be doen there."

kyle: *shrugs* *lol ok then* *scratching*

--

I mean, one of the major pieces of evidence imo are cartman's jokes. typically, if a joke of cartman's refers to something impossible or inapplicable, kyle calls him a dipshit, huffs in exasperation. but.

"kyle's just got a little sand in his vagina."

"I DON'T HAVE SAND IN MY VAGINA!"

-

"our culture tries to make us ashamed if we don't have slim stomachs and perky little tits like kyle!"

😐

-

"and who wants to take a little pamprin so their menstrual cramps stop bringing everyone down? Kyle. *raises Kyle's hand*"

"Alright, fine."

-

"god takes your period away. apparently it makes you really irritable. i was thinking maybe that's why kyle's been grouchy lately, cuz he's going through menopause."

"dude, shut your fucking mouth!"

-

*over intercom* "may I have your attention, please? mrs. broflovski, your tampons are available at the front desk. thank you."

*upset cartman called him a girl* *grumbles*

so yeah. kyle broflovski trans. real.

actually tho send trans stan ev!!

[takami-takami]

More venting, sowry. Actually embarassing to be doing this with this pfp, bye. Interact (like button) if you read.

Trauma, grief, sui threats, animal harm, abuse (not going to label it. Just assume it's in there). This is kinda long. It's honestly just a trauma dump but I'm just tired of holding it inside. Anyways.

Hiiiiii i'm so fucking stressed ^-^ Re: the situation with my dadddd. ^-^

Uragh. There was a huge argument last night. It's very harrowing living in this house. One day, you spend 2 hours talking someone through "dude this is literally wrong" and they're just... Chipper. Smiling into the phone, "uh, yeah. I know? Why do you think I did it?"

They detail to you exactly how much they want another person to hurt, to suffer, over a slight against them. Over "disrespect." You spend careful effort not to tell them how their actions made the other person cry, in case they find sick satisfaction in that. You listen to them detail the way they feel absolutely no remorse because they are incapable of such remorse. They only cry when recounting their own pain. They never cry for another. When another person cries that's sport, that's "games."

And a few days later, he's smiling asking you how you're doing. And everyone else is "trying" with him. I don't blame them, it's self protection.

Honestly. I think part of the problem here is that I'm just describing This week. Instead of a lifetime. You know?

Because I've sat through my dad telling me how people are pawns. Faceless. I've watched him boast with glee about how manipulative he is, how he wears the title "master manipulator" with pride. How he's the smartest person, how he's above everyone else. Don't mistake this as praise for him. In one of the hundreds of times he's talked to me about this he got six times seven wrong.

But anyways. I've seen how his face morphs into a smile slowly, crawling up his face as he gets me upset.

I'll give an example. One of the many times he basically tried to kill himself in front of us or said he was going to, he explained that the reason why is because he's personally experienced grief, and that's why he chose to do it as a punishment. Specifically so that we could feel the overwhelming experience of pain and anguish. He likes that kind of shit. Makes him feel all vindicated, ya know?

But he provides for us, cuz he cares about us or whatever. I mean, we're "extensions of him and he owns us" and all, if I'm being cynical; but he definitely is capable of love. At least, love the emotion, not the action. The problem lies in that he is physically incapable of feeling empathy, remorse, or guilt. Not having empathy itself is fine, by the way, like tons of people don't have empathy and are perfectly chill people but the problem lies in that he really doesn't have that "off" switch to stop him from doing sadistic things. It's a really bad combination.

I mean I guess there's fear. Of god, of being a bad person, of being like his father. I honestly don't know what's holding him together at this point.

It's just... A lot. Dealing with someone like this as your dad. But things are "better" now. Right? He just terrorizes mom now. He just picks fights now. It's not like "before." When he threatened to slice my pet rabbit up. When he threatened to [redacted] me. When he did something to me I don't want to talk about that I read is actually a war crime. Torture. You know? Stuff like that.

I feel... So much disgust in my body. I feel so much rage and shame. I don't even know why I'm posting this. But anyways.

It'd be an insult to call this "my story" or whatevs because it's nothing like that. I'm just... Tired. I thought I'd be happier not talking about what happened but I'm not. I probably won't feel any happier saying this either. But who knows.

I haven't been able to do my schoolwork. I'm supposed to get it done by tomorrow. I have to leave wednesday for my trip. Haven't done shit all day.

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Soft Rockstar Eddie and Popstar Steve

It's about rockstar Eddie and popstar Steve. Someone made a post about them going out like once and then Steve writing the song, Not Another Rock Star by maisie peters (It's catchy and doesn't quite fit Eddie's description but it doesn't matter shh shh shh) and my brain supplied me with soft rockstar Eddie being upset because popstar Steve wrote kind of a shitty song about him after one date and not giving him a chance. Like... Steve doesn't even KNOW him.

And they see each other again at some after party and Eddie just avoids him. He stares at Steve though, until Steve looks at him and then he looks away right before Steve looks. And then Eddie goes out for a smoke and Steve follows him to ask what the fuck is going on?? Like what's his problem?? And Eddie is leaning against the building in a shadow. And Steve is like,

"hey." suddenly feeling very self-conscious. And Eddie just looks at him slowly, takes a drag and blows smoke towards Steve. Doesn't say anything. And Steve's about to say something but Eddie cuts him off, says,

"some song." Cuz the song fucking blew up and everyone KNOWS it's about Eddie cuz there were pics of them on the date. And Steve's like,

"... thanks?" Sounds kinda dismissive. Cuz popstar Steve is still a little bit of an asshole. And Eddie fucking scoffs and takes a step forward, still in the shadows up to his waist.

"Yeah no problem. Glad I could inspire you." and his voice is dripping venom and he takes another drag, the end of the cigarette glowing red in the dark. And Steve crosses his arms all dismissive and he's like,

"Wait... are you mad? Is that why you've been glaring at me all night?" And he scoffs now. And Eddie scoffs right back and says,

"Mad? Why would I be mad? I love when people write out of context songs about me and all their little fucking brainwashed fans come swarming all over social media to come at me with shit they know nothing about. What's to be mad about?" He takes another drag and flicks his cigarette butt away. Takes another step forward, Steve can see his shoulders now.  But not his face.

But he is feeling a little guilty. He didn't think. Just went home after the date and wrote it out  and then bam. It was everywhere. Steve just stares at him. Not sure what to say. And Eddie is just like,

"nothin to say?" And steve says,

"what do you want me to say?" And Eddie laughs, and says,

"Ya know, I think you've said enough actually. Maybe you should just go home and write another song about someone you don't know." and he steps into the light and Steve swears his eyes are shining, they're a little too bright for how dark it is out here, takes a step forward. Eddie flinches back the smallest amount. Shoves his hands in his pockets and looks away. And then he says,

"look im gonna go. Alright? Just.... see ya around I guess." And he tries to walk by but Steve grabs his arm and says,

"Look I'm" but Eddie cuts him off, rounds on him and says,

"You're sorry? Are you?" And Eddie looks at Steve, gets in his space. And Steve just fucking shrugs. And Eddie laughs again, humorless. And yanks his arm away from Steve's grip and says,

"You're not sorry. You're just pissed that I called you out."  and Steve's a little speechless, cuz that's true. But he's not used to being talked to like this, so he has no idea what to fucking say.

So Eddie just keeps talking. Cuz it's been like a month and that goddamn song has been everywhere and he's so goddamn tired of people and he can't even use any of his social media right now cuz Steve's crazy popstar fans are always in his shit and he just wanted to spend a nice night with Steve, he'd thought the date had gone okay... until the end. But then the song came out. So eddie just lets it all out.

He rants about how it was fucking rude. And goddamn irresponsible. And Steve jumps in and is like,

"Oh like you've never written a song about anyone before!?" And Eddie shoots back,

"I write about fucking dragons and quests and magic and shit man! What are you talking about?? And if i WAS gonna write about someone, that's not how I would do it! You don't just- I mean I wasn't- I thought we had fun? You could have just said you didn't wanna go out again! That you didn't like me! I would have understood!" And he's pacing now, and Steve just keeps shrinking in on  himself cuz he's realizing he really hurt Eddie.

And Eddie just keeps talking and Steve catches things about "back at school" and "thought I was done with shit like this." And the worst one "i just wanted to make music" and then he's looking at Steve, his eyes shining and he's breathing heavy and Steve is also breathing a little heavy and he's like,

"what... what do you want me to do?" All quiet and unsure. And eddie just sighs, losing all his fire, and says,

"just.... next time you get the urge to write a song about me... don't. And I'll return the favor." and he turns to leave. He's almost too far away when Steve realizes what Eddie said. He catches him just before he gets to the door back inside, both of them in the shadows now and Steve breathes out,

"did you write a song about me?" And his heart is pounding as looks at Eddie. And Eddie won't meet his eyes.

Steve can't fucking breathe. It was one date. And it's dark but he swears Eddie is bright red. And he can't not ask again. So he does.

"Eddie. Did you write a song about me?" His hand is still on Eddie's arm. Eddie shakes his head. Once. And says,

"Not like yours. It's not- I didn't finish it. It doesn't matter." And he finally looks up at Steve, looks him right in the eyes and says,

"Just forget about it." his voice low and shakey. And then he's tugging the heavy door open. Steve's not sure if he hears him say "I'm sorry" or not. But he hopes so.

~°~

Eddie did write a song about him. Part of one. He was in the middle of writing his first ever ballad when Gareth came into the studio looking glum and was like,

"Dude. I think you should hear this." and he played him Steve's new song and Eddie just sort of, gave up. Threw his pen and notebook across the room. Almost smashed his writing guitar but Gareth grabbed him and stopped him. And Eddie definitely cried. And Gareth definitely held him while Eddie sobbed out,

"I thought he liked me. I'm so stupid." and needless to say, Gareth holds a grudge against Steve for a very long time. Even steps in front of Eddie when Steve tries to talk to him at the next place they see each other. Steve takes the hint and backs off.

He also tries to call Eddie. And message him on all sorts of apps. He gets no response. And his song is still going crazy. So he does something no artist has ever done. He goes on the radio, and asks them to stop playing his song. Asks his fans to stop streaming it. And takes it down from all the places he has control of it. The song drops down the charts in record time. And Steve finally stops hearing it everywhere. And then, about a week later, he gets a text from Eddie.

It's an audio file. Steve takes a deep breath, presses play, and hears the most beautiful fucking song he's ever heard. It's just Eddie and his guitar. Clearly not a finished product, just... raw, and open, and just for Steve. And it's beautiful and Steve's never heard him sing so softly. He listens to it four times, it makes him cry everytime. And then he picks up his phone and hits the little phone symbol next to Eddie's name. His heart beating wildly as he listens to it ring. And ring.

And then eddie answers.

[decolonize-the-left]

I can't express my suicidal thoughts and feelings to a real person or confess my previous attempts (that are a year or so behind me now with no danger of it happening soon) because obviously it's not good for that person's mental health, even if I do take out the selfish aspect that they could intervene when I don't want anyone to.

Like, I can vent, and whenever people try to be 'its all going to be okay' 'life is worth living' it makes me want to scream at them because if it was that simple I wouldn't keep feeling like this. if an AI says that I can just let loose with exactly how I feel about that sunshine-and-rainbows-sugar droll that nobody ever really believes in anyways and just say it because they have nothing else to say.

I can't go to a therapist, I can't afford it and even if I could, I'd lose my job because I'm certain that I'd be committed against my will for how bad my feelings get, and I don't want to have to walk on eggshells when explaining my feelings in a way that won't get me put in a ward or have someone think far less of me knowing how unstable I am.

and when I get sick of talking or am in too bad of a mood to continue, I can just exit the AI instead of leaving a real person freaking out thinking I'm going to go hurt myself or something. so yeah, while human connection is important that's not an option for some of us.

I'm fucking heartbroken that you feel this way.

Not even just because you're obviously so unhappy and upset, but that you feel like other people can't handle you or your feelings.

I think how you feel is part of a Much larger issue. I know what you're talking about, I have a post somewhere about it.

About how people who've been through a lot or feel a lot get called toxic for "trauma dumping" or how they make their "friends" feel uncomfortable and how often people like that (like us) usually end up isolated because of how our feelings effect others.

Nobody says it, but maybe we get texted less often or we slowly start to be phased out of a friend group as they invite us out less and less.

And so you end up with these people who desperately need community and need people and need support and need to feel like they belong somewhere....being completey isolated from all of this and being told THEY are the problem.

You're not. We're not.

To some extent, sure, not everyone can handle people like that. But when it's....everyone? That's no longer preference.

That's structural. That's systemic.

And I just can Not believe that using AI as a stand in for that is an option at all. I mean it's good for if you just wanna blow off steam or scream at something I guess?

But I don't think any of us are ever going to Actually feel better if we keep Letting people treat us like we aren't even worth listening to and enabling that behavior for them through AI.

You should be able to talk to someone who loves you about this. Someone who cares and who is genuinely invested in your well being. Someone worrying about you is GOOD. You're worth worrying about! Let them worry!

They SHOULD be worried! You're ideating of suicide! That's a concern for people who want you to stick around and I hope you see that for the love it is.

I hope you give those people opportunities to be there for you. That's what they want. They worry cuz they care and they want you to feel better and they Don't want to end up at your funeral sooner than they should. If people are annoying about it, it's a testament to them caring.

That said, I know it can get annoying to reassure your friend when You are the one that's depressed, but you gotta remember that their friend wants to die. I don't think it's an inappropriate response to want an annoying amount of reassurance that they won't just drop dead one day ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just find people who will respect your boundaries; people who, when you say, 'i don't wanna talk about this anymore' or 'i feel like your feelings are being centered over mine right now' and will listen and be gracious with what they demand and expect of you.

Abandoning your friends and yourself by turning to AI instead can not be the right answer for how to handle this. Let them be there even if they're annoying.

That can not be what you need and I truly, honest to God think that this will be worse in the long run for your over all self worth.

What do you mean human interaction isn't an option?

And hey, if you (or anyone else) wanna scream or yell or let off steam in my asks then do it.

If you don't want me to reply or post it, just tell me. If you don't want reassurance then say that. If you don't even want me to Read it then say that and I won't. If you want advice or a reply then say that.

No I'm not an rp blog and I won't ever be one and I won't reply like I'm a character lol

But I'm an actual person willing to be there okay?

If literally nobody else is, then my asks and dms are open.

Just like, for the fucking love of God do not feel like there is nobody on fucking earth that prepared or emotionally equipped to handle your feelings.

Like I know this sounds like a cringey pick me kindve answer but like.

It's very, very important to me that you don't think so little of your peers and yourself that you would turn to AI out of a need to be comfortably and conveniently suicidal.

My application:

I'm a mom who reads a lot of gentle parenting books

Learned a Lot about regulating emotions and naming them so I could teach my kid emotional intelligence

In and out of therapy myself since I was 14 and honestly probably should've been there before that

I read like a Lot of psychology books and articles

I too have depression and suicidal ideation and I Get that people can be annoying abt it

Im actively becoming a happier person and learning to enjoy life so I also Get what people mean when they say 'it gets better' (it does but not literally if that makes sense)

I'm also not actually in therapy anymore because of bad experiences

Promise not to have you committed

Has actually been committed (5250 gang waddup) and imo it wasn't an awful experience but that's probably because the environment was chaotic enough to feel weirdly like home but we can talk about that too if you want

You do not need to sugarcoat or sugar-rainbows bullshit me cuz I've literally been there (I even snuck a soda tab into the psych facility the hospital transferred me to 💀)

Can't promise you I'll know the exact right thing to say but I will always keep it real and no bs with no flowery bs that doesn't actually mean anything to either of us

[phantomrose96]

It's been a really messed up week at work.

I learned on Monday that 3 of my coworkers were being laid off. Two were under different managers, but one was a guy I've known since I started and he's been with the company almost 25 years. The layoffs were unexpected, and came right after a huge crunch-time for product launch, and I've been crazy upset for Ulli. Like how do you give 25 years to a company and then someone who's never seen your face just decides to let you go. Since it's a layoff, the decision came from outside our org and our managers/skip-level had no say in it happening.

One of the other guys, Jason, I didn't know well but he's been here 17 years and he was about to close on a house. Now he's out of a job and the bank won't give him a mortgage so just. Fuck you, no house. And this is after putting down the earnest money which is like, a deposit proving you're serious. If it was the 5% earnest money, that was probably like $30,000-$50,000 he won't get back.

The third person didn't reveal themselves, but like on Monday afternoon we had our usual weekly team watercooler chat and like... I made it known how upset I was and how scummy I found this. And I'm an easy crier (I've gotten better in adulthood, but the last couple months have been hard so my ability to not cry has dipped a lot I guess). But like, there was no one in the room with any power here. Layoffs are a faceless corporate decision.

And it was all extra scummy to me because the company is doing well. And they're projecting all this optimism about the future. But the stock price isn't making shitty wallstreet bros happy enough, so corporate decided to layoff 10,000 people--and that was a slow-drip of layoffs between January and March, which were going to be complete by end of March, and they waited for like practically March 31st to hit us.

So that was all... Monday... Tuesday morning I overslept (cuz I didn't sleep well Monday night) and woke up late so I like, kinda just jumped to my work computer. And there was an email from my skip level titled "Sad news about Alexei".

Since the third person to get laid off hadn't identified themselves, it sounded like Alexei was the third layoff. That didn't sit right with me because Alexei was a super super prolific engineer. Like I cannot overstate how prolific. He had a hand in everything. Even if you hadn't worked with him, you knew him. So I could just feel like something was wrong.

So I clicked the email. He died on Sunday evening. My skip-level only just found out and was informing everyone. I literally have an email in my inbox rescheduling a meeting that Alexei sent Sunday morning.

I didn't personally know Alexei all that well, but so many of my coworkers did, some for 24 years, and it's really really obvious how much this has rattled everyone. My project lead Ransom has been out most of the week, in part for the funeral and in part just taking bereavement time. Ransom is the main person I'm coordinating with, and we were just kicking off planning for next steps, so it feels like everything's in this artificial standstill.

And like... maybe I shouldn't phrase it like that. I did know Alexei. But I didn't "24 years" know him.

And now like, all the activity on Teams is either stuff beyond our org happening in the peripheral, or people within our org contributing thoughts and stories about Alexei.

For the last couple days I've been getting up intending to do work. But then I just kinda aimlessly stare at my remote desktop like it might do something. If I had some mindless tasks, I could do those, but my tasks right now are more like deep investigations and my brain won't turn on enough for those, and Ransom's not around to coordinate with. So I've mostly ended up just like... going and taking a nap and logging a sick day. I've also been so extremely tired.

It's been messed up...

[damnfandomproblems]

Okay, it may be time for another one of these sort of inbox reply compilation posts, regarding the same post Problem #5168 and the ensuing reply exchange.

One more reply from the OP of #5168, responding to this ask:

Being passive aggressive and acting superior is ALSO rude. Therefore, since it was done in reply to my submission, i have every right to swear and tell that person where they can shove it. Im not trying to say you cant give me what i give you. Swear at me too if you want. Idgaf. I just refuse to be told how to speak. People wanna act like they no longer take me seriously because i swear, but decide to argue with me and tell me they dont like that i swear. Make it make sense. idk why I'm being singled out lol. Maybe because I'm actually responding to it. Hardly do i ever curse at people. I didnt call anyone a bitch or use any particularly offensive language or anything. All my cursing in my submission was used to express my anger with the exception of telling vague people to fuck off. I swore only 8 times. Yet the first anon that submission got acted like it was truly difficult for their pure, swearword free mind to read. Like seriously how does cursing and being angry make something "hard to read"? They must have a hard time reading everything here. Honestly i think they should look to read somewhere else because this blog is all about people's problems. Everyone's angry about something or another. Ig my submission was just tooo angry for people. Guess i crossed a line by being angry and cursing in my submission. Its such a stupid thing to argue about too cuz most of these people agree to some extent but for some reason they just cant handle me being upset? I can't wrap my head around why they care so damned much about whether or not an argument has swearwords or not. There's literally no need for me to censor myself here.

And a few others' replies, regarding this exchange.

Anon:

My dude, you're accusing others of missing the point, yet in your very first paragraph you're already going on about "professionalism" when that's not what anyone else was talking about. You're putting words in their mouths.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anon:

This is becoming such a strange conversation... Even if someone is being passive aggressive and or a dick to you, stooping to their level and then some by telling them to shove a post up their ass is just childish. Secondly, are you willingly ignoring how that anon pointed out that nobody cared if you responded "professionally", it was about just doing the bare minimum? "Professional" is a pretty wild word to use, nobody was suggesting you have to sound like you're working as a bank teller. Maybe the other anon pulled something out of their ass but where did "professional" come from but your own ass...? I don't know, just reading this whole thing is just perplexing me. ^^;;;

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anon:

Can the two people arguing through the askbox get a room already

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anon:

So this whole "fuck" debacle is happening, and I can't stop laughing because all I can think of is this scene: https://youtu.be/PmCLeTqD4hY?feature=shared&t=44

(It is a YouTube link to a clip from the South Park Movie)

[keenzinemugstudent]

Smallville Clark Kent x black goth reader

Clark was supposed to take you to prom but then Lana asked him and he immediately accepts forgetting all about you...

"Do my reporter eyes deceive me or is that a smile I see on your face Y/n?" Chole asked Leaning against her locker you just let out a low laugh pretending to look for your science book

"I have no idea what you're talking about Chole." She just rolled her eyes turning towards you with a smirk on her face.

"Oh don't act innocent with me I heard it from Pete that Clark worked up the courage to ask you out for prom! How am I the last one to find out about this?!"

"It's no big deal literally we were both just sitting and talking about how we thought prom was going to be lame cuz we both didn't have a date and that's when he just asked me if could go together." I said nonchalantly closing my locker walking away Chloe scoffed and walked next to me arms crossed.

"So he asked you to prom and you're just totally okay with this?"

"Yeah I mean it's just two friends going to prom together. He's going to be in a suit and I'm just going to be in a plain old black dress no biggy!"

"Oh yeah your crush AKA Clark asked you to prom and you're not freaking out?" I bumped her shoulder caused her laughing and that's when we bumped into Clark who was holding flowers red rose's your favorite Chole looked at you with a knowing look.

"Oh hey Clark nice roses you got there buddy who's the lucky lady." Oh she was going to get it later!

Guys you won't believe what just happened!"

"Hmm let me guess you finally realize that you need a change of wardrobe and decided to go goth like me? Oh oh I know we can be goth buddies! Wouldn't that sound so much fun?" I said making funny poses to show off your goth beauty he rolled his eyes but laughed still having that big smile on his face.

"Thanks for the suggestion but no uh Lana asked me to prom." And with that the smile was wiped clean off your face you looked at Clark a bit confused.

"Wait what I thought she wasn't going to prom but she was going to skip out because of the whole Whitney thing?"

"Oh well she changed her mind and asked me if I wanted to go with her." He said blushing with a smile on his face, Chloe looked at you and you just looked at Clark like he had two heads.

"So did you say no because you know you weren't really planning to go to prom in the first place and you don't have a suit."

"I said yes and I'm pretty sure dad has one at home so wish me luck guys see you in class later Y/n!"

He said walking away from us all you could do was just stand there in shock and wondering did that really just happen? Did our whole entire conversation yesterday just flew over his head or were you just hallucinating the whole entire thing? Chloe tried to get your attention but you kind of just spaced out feeling something sliding down your cheek it was a tear...

"Y/n? Are you okay?" You wiped your face letting out a humorless laugh.

" Uh yeah I'm okay it's fine, it's totally fine I don't even know what I was thinking. I'll uh see you after class okay Chole?" Before she gets say anything you speed walked away from her holding your book close to your chest already feeling the tears escaping, today is just really sucked all because of Lana fucking Lang!

The whole day you didn't talk to anyone Chole tried to get you to say something but you stayed silent Pete who had heard what happened also tried to cheer you up but you just got up from the class room leaving for him, your two friends felt sad for you and angry at Clark who seemed oblivious to how upset you were.

"Clark we need to talk man." Pete says at Clark's place helping him find a suit for the prom tonight.

"Yeah sure what's up?"

"So uh did you notice how Y/n looked today?

"Yeah she said she had failed a math test today and was pretty bummed about it." Pete gave Clark a look and rolled his eyes putting a hand on his forehead at his friend clueless.

"Dude Y/n A class student! Why would she be upset about getting an f on her math test when math is her best subject!"

"That's true..i'll text her later ask her what's wrong she did look sad."

"Uh maybe that's not a good idea."

Clark gave Pete on a confused face and then turn to look at him .

"Okay Pete you obviously know what's happening with her more than me so why don't you just say it."

"I don't want to say anything."

"Why not? Obviously you have a big opinion on it you might as well tell me." Clark was getting annoyed and Pete was too he was there when Lana came up and asked Clark if he was going to the dance and he didn't even hesitate or think about you when saying yes it was really annoying, seeing as you were so happy but then the whole entire day you were upset.

"Okay fine I'll say it look man I'm happy that you finally had a chance to make progress with Lana but why can't you just you know realize what's in front of you and move on?"

"I don't understand I thought you'd be be happy for me. I finally have a shot with Lana."

"I am happy but weren't you already planning on not going and then you and YN had that conversation about going together?"

"I mean yeah but it wasn't serious...it was just a suggestion!"

"Maybe for you.." Clark clenched his fist.

"Come on Y/n doesn't even like prom she thinks it's lame!"

"Yeah because she's never had anyone ask her to prom dude, and the minute the guy that she's been having a crush on finally asked her out to prom you ditch her for Lana." The room was silent Clark starred at his best friend eyes wide.

"Wait...Y/n has a crush on me?" Pete nods his head.

"Yeah and she was really happy the whole day until you told her about going with Lana. Look man i get that you're happy that you finally have a chance with Lana but you really hurt Y/n." Pete grabbed his stuff and left leaving a guilt feeling Clark behind.

"Sweetie are you sure you'll be fine?" Your aunt asked sitting in the car with your uncle you have a smile.

"I'll be fine auntie I'm just going to be at home watching TV or binge watching and any snacks I'll be fine go on and have fun you guys deserve it." You're in Uncle we're going to go out and celebrate their 7th or anniversary.

"Well call us if anything happens kiddo there's some leftovers but I left some money on the table for you if you wanted to order pizza!" You uncle says you have a thumbs up and they were gone you closed and lock the door behind you let it out a sigh you are home alone on a Friday night absolutely nothing to do it sucked. You sat on the sofa eating cookies than suddenly there was a knock on the front door you had to get back up to open it that's when you saw Clark standing there you immediately dropped to the floor crawling towards the kitchen to hide from his sight so he didn't see you what is he doing here?!

"Y/n? I know your in there please open the door." You let out a scoff.

"Y/n is not here at the moment leave a message at the beep! Beeeeep!"

"Y/n! Come on!"

"Go away Kent!"

"Please just let me explain!"

"I don't want to hear it! Just go to prom with your chance to dance with Lana Lang!"

Clark winced at the anger in your voice directed towards him, now he really felt bad he honestly didn't mean to make you upset.

"Look I know I messed up but can we please just talk about it and it's raining!"

"Aww really? Well you should have thought about that before you came here without an umbrella!

a couple of minutes went by and you thought it was safe to come out cuz you didn't hear him but then you were suddenly grabbed from behind and lifted up off the ground causing you to let out a screech of surprise!

"You put me down right now Clark Kent!"

"Not until you hear me out!"

"If you don't leave I swear to God I will-!"

"Y/n please just listen okay?" He set me down but didn't let go I was now facing his chest but refused to look at him.

"Clark I'd rather not listen to anything you have to say right." I turned my face away from him trying not to let him see how upset I was but he just held me closer to his chest refusing to let go.

"I know your mad at me but I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry I'm such an Idiot."

"You're right. You are an idiot Clark! You're an absolute idiot for making me think that we are going to go to prom together! So congratulations you know you're the biggest fool I've ever met in my life!" I tired to get out of his hold but he just wouldn't but God you forgot how strong this boy was it kind of felt nice being in his arms but you were not going to forgive him that easily! You are not going to admit defeat!

"I know we both said that prom was lame but because we were both mostly upset we didn't have a date but I really did think you actually want to go with me!" I hide my face in his chest feeling tears well up he didn't say anything but his hold did loosen a bit but you were to upset to care.

"Pete told me something that had me thinking."

"Do you... like me?"

"Even if I did it wouldn't change anything now would it?"

"It would have changed a lot. Ha the farm boy and the goth girl together who would have thought?" He let's out a chuckle putting his chin on my head hugging me I let out a small laugh.

"Y/n I really really am sorry. I was so caught up on my feelings towards Lana I didn't stop to think about you."

"It's fine..."

"Don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't discourage your feelings like that. You have every right to be upset." He pulls away from the hug lifting up my chin to make me look at him you let out a sigh.

"Well it's too late now. Well I doubt there's going to be a prom now that it's raining and here I was looking forward to seeing you in a suit." I gave a pout.

"We can still have prom." He gave a smile causing you to stare at him confused

Later he told you to go change into your dress which honestly confused you but listen to him when you got down stairs you saw the living room full of candles and Clark stood in the middle playing a slow song holding a red rose.

(I tried to find a black girl in goth dress but didn't find much😭)

"Clark...what is this? " You looked around in amazement he grabs your hand handing you the rose.

"Seeing as I asked you to prom first I should keep to my word."

"What about Lana?"

"I called and told her I already had plans with someone else for prom."

wow he rejected his only chance of being with the girl he's liked forever to do all this for you.

"Clark you didn't have to do all this." I looked down feeling my cheeks getting warm but he steps close to grabbing a hold of your waist causing you to look at his smiling face.

"I'd rather be here with you Y/n and this gives me the chance to finally see you in a dress for the for first time. You didn't think I was going to miss that did you?" You rolled your eyes than let out a gasp as he twirled you around the room.

"Whoa I didn't know the farm boy had moves."

"You can thank my dad for that."

"Oh I bet that was fun."

We both laugh it wasn't anything like the prom you imagined but it was close and it was comfortable I leaned on his chest feeling his warmth you could hear his heartbeat beating faster than usual

"Y/n?"

"Hm?"

"I hope this makes up for everything that I've done. I really didn't mean-" I put a finger to his lips stopping him and gave him a smile.

"Let's just have fun tonight Clark I really just wanna spent time with you." He smiles nodding grabbing your hand to land a kiss he stops to stare at you than leaned in a bit whoa whoa what's going on right now? Is he about to kiss me? Is my breath fresh? Are my lips chapped up enough oh no!

I closed my eyes but felt a kiss on my nose. I let out a sigh of relief which caused Clark to look at you confused.

"Sorry it looked like you didn't want me to kiss you...yet."

"So you kiss my nose?"

"You have a cute nose okay!"

"Well that's no fair!"

I stand in my toes to kiss his nose back which made him blush.

"There now we're even!"

"You are such a weirdo."

"Just shut up and dance with me."

"Yes my lady of the night."

"And don't you forget it farm boy."

we continue to dance to the music it was still raining outside but all that matter is that you were in the arms of the boy you cared about the most prom wasn't so bad after all.

I have noticed there are not a lot of Smallville stories and honestly I am disappointed because I grew up watching Smallville but This was absolutely fun to write and there's definitely going to be some more on the way just need to come up with some more ideas I hope you guys really liked it leave comments open to criticism and sorry if my grammar sucks😭

[feh-alt-battle]

thoughts on brave marianne? cuz sooo many people hate that one and i really don’t see why? i mean i guess it’s a little bit sexual (and honestly not really) and ppl don’t particularly enjoy her artist but i just don’t get the hate 😕

I'm asexual myself and with that (at least for me) comes with a distaste for all things sexual, and I have a particular hatred for sexualized women in battle contexts. That being said, while my first impression of Brave Marianne was "Where's her armor?", I'm not too upset about it in the long run because it's just a game and no matter how much I might complain, I'm not the audience for this

I DETEST the idea of 'rule of cool' when it only comes to sexualized armor. Rule of cool is AWESOME, I play dnd by that rule, but it's hard to believe when the men are armed to their jaws and the women are in like one or two layers of clothing

Even with all this being said, I enjoy Brave Marianne! She was the first unit I got as a 'welcome to feh' prize, and she carried a lot of my early game! I really like Marianne as a character, being my second choice for a marriage partner, and I'm just glad she's got at least one alt! There are times where I'm like "she would not fucking wear that", and I wish she had actual armor and even used Blutgaang instead of a tome!

My thoughts? I could complain endlessly about sexualized armor, but as it is on Marianne? I suppose it could be worse. I even drew her for her birthday and it ended up being on of my favorite Marianne arts <3

[kazachi69]

hhey just coming from melo's blog here. im not jumping to conclusions. i mean i dont agree with what you said but like bruh i cant judge cuz like i dont know your side of the story so if ya comfortable.. share your side?? if you comfortable??

TLDR: In response to that post, I ain't about all that.

I'll continue to operate as normal because I'm not so childish as to let one thing weigh on my mind forever. If you think different of me based on someone else's account alone, especially after knowing me, yall are kinda fucked up for that not me.

If you actually want to know stuff it's down there V

Well, a few month ago, when I still was good friends with Melo, I was reading out some and watching some offensive memes with them and read something out that I didn't quite like (not using the word here as it still makes me uncomfy), and then later in dms kept questioning me.

I didn't exactly know how to respond, but it felt weird since I already apologized once in call and then multiple times the day after that and tried to explain it to them later as it didn't sink until they made it. Even though I felt really bad, even if I wasn't paying attention and just reading something out loud, I thought that they would be more chill with it considering that they said the f-word, (not fuck), earlier.

Something that they conveniently left out, which I asked them about right after the voice message they sent in the last screen shot

And yeah, we were done with it after that, I apologized for about an hour and a half and then they never mentioned it to me again. If they did have that big a problem with it, they could have come to me like they had with other problems that affected them more directly, but it's not like either of us wanted to hear me say it either.

I talked to them about teasing them about certain things and what not, but they didn't say yes, or no, or even whatever. And if they were really that upset I'd think that they'd tell me about it and be more definitive instead of saying they "need to be entertained" whenever they wanted to hang out, but I did limit myself in that regard as well.

Tbh, I don't know what's happening with Glitchy, but I know they don't tolerate that stuff, but have to deal with it even if they don't like it. Idk why or what Melo's problem with Glitchy is, but it doesn't make any sense to me, and it feels like they were just hoping to hurt us. It pisses me off more that they went out of their way to go after Glitchy than they did me tbh, because it looks like Glitchy only explained to them. There has been other drama that they indirectly started when I first got to know them, but I talked them through it and helped them calm down.

This is oddly convenient as well that it's happening after *I* broke the friendship off after how they were treating me, although I could have talked to them more about it, I was really pissed at the time, and by the time I wanted to apologies, (even though I was upset) I was blocked. It seems a little unrelated, but to me, it feels like they're just trying to get back at me in some way, but I honestly don't know.

It does suck, cause a lot of people Gltichy and I considered friends blocked us without any second thought. Then again, I guess they're not really friends if they don't want to hear our side of the story or anything, so no big loss I guess.

I'll continue to operate as normal because I'm not so childish as to let one thing weigh on my mind forever. If you think different of me based on someone else's account alone, especially after knowing me, yall are kinda fucked up for that not me.

TLDR: In response to that post, I ain't about all that.

[caspersickfanfics]

aoxlfkakgjqkksajflqakahskcjabsjc

I am. Undone. I need 10-12 business days to recover from your fic 😭😭😭 (but like in the best way possible!!!)

angst like with partners fighting is Honeslty so scary to read sometimes!!! But!!! SOMEHOW you paint this beautiful picture of real and RAW upset and hurt and flaws AND ITS STILL OKAY IN THE END!!! there’s something so healing about that??? Like hello????? Because their bond is so much deeper than moments like this. I LOVED how vulnerable Tighnari was, his high standards for himself and his really VALID frustrations!!! Fuck that guy that sabotaged their letters that’s so (clever of you) but EVIL!! But also like, I loved his very human mistakes too! And his even more human break down 🥺🥺 he sounded so terrible and Just sooo defeated. I like to think Cyno stayed for days just silently but very specifically doting on him, making sure he had gentle foods to eat, extra protective, extra silly, and super reluctant to leave.

speaking of I know Tighnari is our caretaker king but I think cyno simply excels at creating safety and holding space for Tighnari. Cuz the anxiety he must have felt was so real!! I was feeling it as a reader lol 😂 but he trusts nari and chooses to breath and wait and meditate- like that’s so honestly goals and such a healthy response!!’ And then after that he’s just more than anything ready to hold Tighnari and meet him wherever he is and protect his heart and - GAAAAAH I can’t!!!!!! Like he may need a bit more instruction on how to heal people in the literal sense but I’m convinced he heals Tighnairs heart over and over again. 😭😭😭😭 this was so good- OH and the ENDING!!! so sweet and fluffy 🩷🩷🩷 I was so glad that nari was able to begin to relax a little, and make a joke WITH cyno aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! My HEART!!! and just nari scooping Cyno back because he demands more cuddles. Beautiful. I’m so proud of them I love them. I want what they have 😭😭 I LOVE your cynari fics!!

!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU?!?!? give me some days to cover recover from this ask please i have melted into a teary-eyed puddle

Okay, attempting to be coherent - I'm really glad you enjoyed it despite the extra tension of arguments. I had points while writing this where it was very stressful because of that, but I honestly just wrote and re-wrote until I found the words to make it comfortable for me, without taking away from the bite and the conflict. It ended up being surprisingly healing. I like the idea that emotions, even when they aren't expressed in the best ways, exist to inform us about ourselves and the people around us in a way that words sometimes fail, so I wanted to make sure something good would come from the conflict, in the end. I'm not sure I'm expressing this well, but - they care about each other enough to see bad behavior and go "that was wrong, but I still care about the hurt that's behind it because I trust your goodness and love your whole" and I think they are stronger for it (both individually and as a unit).

And yes that evil guy is not gonna have a fun time when Cyno's back at work 😈

Tighnari 🥺 he had such a rough time, our little fox guy. He was under so much stress already and the migraine and the storm on top of it :( If I were a fluff writer I'd absolutely write a whole extra chapter of Cyno coddling him, because he deserves it. They'd also figure out an actual plan for getting both of their needs met - Tighnari needing support with Collei, Cyno balancing that with his job demands. They probably set up weekly check-ins, so that if the communication is ever disturbed again, they'll know right away.

Regarding Cyno - outside of the unresolved trauma (it's there, but not always making itself known), I guess I headcanon him as being quite emotionally healthy! He doubts himself a lot because the trauma bits feel uncontrollable, but he's a good listener, and he cares, and I like to think he had to learn a pretty extensive degree of emotional control to manage Hermanubis at a very young age. There are some complexities there, where his initial instinct for himself is to numb or push the emotions away, associating strong feelings with danger and damage, but he has to have some logical understanding that emotions become dangerous when they're ignored for too long. So he tries to keep things unpacked, even if he prefers to do that when he's alone. Of course, he misses things sometimes.

All this to say - I agree!!! I think he manages his own worries and concerns and even grief really well in this fic. He knows they're there, takes a step back to check himself, and either embraces the feels or sets them aside for later based on what's most needed and productive for the situation. It goes along with "endurance vs. patience" - endurance relating to withstand poor circumstances (which is how he (correctly) interprets/internalizes Nari's temper); patience relating to response to wrongdoings (why the evildoer will have a Very Bad Time with Cyno). (No one asked but I interpret Tighnari as someone with a great capacity for both of these, but who is selective with when to utilize them)

Ugh the ending - I was cringing at myself and them but I now have a Need to include a bad Cyno joke whenever I write him 🤣 I am glad it added a bit of fluff and healing as well though!!

Wow I apologize for such a long response and like, an entire unsolicited character analysis, I think I'm still processing my own feelings about this fic 😂 😭 If anyone reads this far... thank you for your time?? ^^;;

[midnightstarshadow]

Hey, hey, guess what?

BPFT!Crescent's reference sheet is done!

(BPFT is my God au, btw!!)

I've never done a reference sheet before so idk if I did this right but I do like how it turned out

You can ask questions about him if you want, my ask box is always open ^^

Okay, now I'm gonna ramble about him so if you don't want spoilers for the fic, you may instead focus intensely on the rendered bit on the left and ignore the rest as well as the stuff under the read more :3

So the lantern glows blue because it's fueled by his magic rather than oil or something like that

Anyone who goes to the mortal realm gets one and it basically lights the path to the task they need to complete down there (Crescent doesn't have a real task tho so it's just a funny light)

Yes, he is wearing cloud pajamas, people tend to headcanon Nightmare's realm as eternally nighttime so that means you get to wear pajamas all the time when you're a demi-god living in his realm like Crescent

This is a medieval fantasy world, but the gates to the mortal realm are partially controlled by the God of Time and so the Gods get stuff from all periods because I fucked up when making Crescent's sheet and forgot to do research Fresh exists to be a menace

The outside of the cloak is fairly plain because the God of Fear is ironically paranoid and stealth is a must, however the galaxies on the inside of the cloak are real stars from Nightmare's realm and they move like a real night sky does (or they would, if I could animate that well)

Nightmare just kinda went "Lemme just pull some stars out of the sky for you" and turned it into a cloak for his son when he was sad one time and now it's Crescent's favourite :)

I spent like.... an hour trying to figure out how to make the stars before giving up and using this image from unsplash, which lets you use images for free. IbisPaint doesn't have many star brushes, unfortunately :(

Cross is there too, though I don't got his design fully fleshed out yet so take the silly little sketch of him

Even though the text is the same for their thoughts, they don't speak the same language

(It's only English for you guys)

Crescent only knows how to speak the Gods' language (which I'm gonna say is now Minecraft Enchantment Table lol) cuz that's what he was raised to speak (and to fuck with you guys <3) and Cross would be using Wingdings

Of course, when it's their perspective, it'll be regular letters for them and those fonts for the other so you get the full experience of a language barrier >:)

Cross wants to pay back Crescent by serving him after he saved his life but Crescent just wants a friend so he never asks for anything and that makes Cross a bit upset lol

He likes helping and can't convey that

Crescent wouldn't mind help tho but he kind of thinks Cross needs to rest after almost dying but he can't convey that either

They want to communicate but they can't lol

Oh! Oh! Oh!

I almost forgot!

Crescent can't travel during the day because his father's realm is the night and Dream unintentionally sends his aura across miles during the day

He wants to be the cool uncle but his aura is very overbearing, especially for a small demi-god :(

Crescent just pulls up his hood and pretends to sleep instead

Cross keeps guard :)

He does think Crescent is a God and that he's probably capable of watching his own back but he likes doing it anyway