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#cuz I couldn’t find a solid one lol
glowstone23b · 1 year
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:DD!!! yes!! a wither!! (i saw a video once of some guy spawning a wither in the nether and letting these piglins have at em, cuz theyre naturally aggroed on wither skeletons as enemies and i thought it was super cool- i think one suevived nearly the whole fight? and it just,, gave me ideas!)
the immortality thing is kinda like a player status thingy! so yeah! (in part cuz im super attached to some of them, namely dereck, rylan, and grimm; and so i while i was super cool with them getting hurt and outcasted and going thru a lot of angst essentially, i was super super uncomfortable with them experiencind death in any permanent capacity, so here we are 😔) so respawning is a thing! and my thought was since players (people playing the game) are able to be any kinda skin they desire, i figured itd make sense like this "player" status was bestowed upon them like a gods blessing! if that makes any sense,,
and yea so with dereck, with his withered status, it cant really go away cuz he was withered BEFORE the wither died and he got blessed, aha 🤭 🤷 (lol i just thought that what if he treats his condition with milk like in game, and so he keeps trades with zombie piglins and other players who go to the overworld so he can drink it since its not available in the nether omg *enter he needs some milk vine* and and lol if he does nothing to take care of it hes just gonna fall into a death loop cuz hes immortal 👀)
omg flint is so cute i wanna draw em together 😭 who knows if i have time tho. they WOULD be friends omg taking care of the littol ones together 🥺🥺
thank you!! i love the wither star idea! just a littol trophy for him ^-^
dereck loves u too
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How tall would you say your ocs are? Dereck here but rylan and grimm for future reference? No reason (I lie, it’s for drawing reasons). I would love to draw them together also!! I love piglins :) if you couldn’t tell fhdbsjsk
Poor guy with his chronic illness & pain 😔 but hey he’s a good channel for staying on good terms with the local overworld villages and whatnot bc of trade routes, it works out! RIP dude, don’t fall into a death loop… maybe overworld like… cow’s milk has special properties that help soothe ailments that are caused by negative statuf effects? I assume they could probably get milk from hoglins or like. Idk. Ghasts or something fbdbsjjs or maybe if nether fungus variants of mooshrooms existed? Who knows!
I’d like to see that tbh— I’m surprised a bastion could hold their own against a wither in game 😳 that’d be interesting to see the outcome of for sure! Makes sense why an oc would come of it, haha.
I have a couple more piglins in the works, but I’ll have to refine designs, tbh. I’d love to have a solid brute, but most of the ones I come up with end up being retired brutes or dropouts/wannabes, lol. Maybe a good set of piglets to draw consistently or something, too. Idk I have a bastion in my head and I just need inhabitants for it 🤔
Trying to find a good in between for in-game mechanics versus irl influences is so tough !! I do my best but sometimes I realism too hard. It’s kinda fun to mess with though :D
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sylvanianfamiliez · 6 months
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going to be autistic on here abt bjd eyes
i’ve been experimenting w trying to make bjd eyes for years at this point and im like confident in my skills but i’m struggling to find the right materials. i watch a lot of various eye makers’ tutorials to see what they use but the problem i always find is that most of them don’t seem to worry abt how the eyes will hold up longterm, which is smth i rly want for mine. like using uv resin for the base will yellow so bad….not to mention the health effects
so it’s like health + longevity that bothers me. i don’t want to use toxic materials for my eyes and risk my health for it. stop using resin without proper ventilation and shit inside your home. please.
my best bet rn is polymer clay for the bases and it works great but the major problem i have is dust in the pure white of the eyes…gonna try some ways of minimising this but i also can’t spend all my energy trying to reduce dust in my environment bcuz it’ll give me a heart attack from the stress. plus i can’t seem to get it to smoosh perfectly in the silicone molds…it’s always got some dents. that’s probably just practice though
so for the dust my thinking was maybe i’d just cover it in acrylic paint after, but acrylic paint stays a bit sticky and attracts dust anyway so. it kinda cancels out. i’ve thought about other materials to use as a base but it always comes back to yellowing. i wondered whether maybe thermoplastic could work but i couldn’t find anything about the yellowing rates so, maybe i’ll try it and leave it sometime but i don’t have high hopes
but then ofc there’s the problem of The Oven. i make the irises out of polymer clay bcuz that’s what works best for me. i’ve never been able to use pastels for my colours bcuz it just looks gross and grainy and muddy no matter what i do, so polymer clay is pretty non negotiable. which means whatever i use for the bases has to be oven safe
and the bubbles in the domes as well…it’d be good to get a pressure chamber someday but that’s a more serious piece of kit than i have room for rn. laeli suggested trying a vibrator to agitate the bubbles which i wanna try so bad lol. but i need to get the resin first….i wanna try art resin cuz it’s supposed to be non toxic so i could use it indoors. and i saw some tests where it was super resistant to yellowing as well. so it sounds perfect but since it’s 2 part resin i’d have to have a lot of eyes prepped beforehand so i don’t waste it all as it’s not cheap !!
im thinking about seeing if i could do the bases with art resin as well but since it’s only non toxic on its own cuz it doesn’t react with anything else in the air, i don’t know what pigments i could use if any. apparently their pigments they make are kinda ass and i’d need it to be a really solid white. they also don’t sell the pigments individually afaik. i’d like to try a white gel pigment but again !! i don’t know how it’ll react. it’d probably be fine but i wish i had the info…..plus i don’t know if it would just melt in the oven. you shouldn’t really put resin in the oven. and if it worked i’d definitely want to get my own little oven sooner as i’m just experimenting w the kitchen one first….bcuz it comes back to the toxic fumes. but even if i did that’s also. having the space for it
UAGH !! you see why i am going round in circles….i wish i could be one of those girlies that just fucks up their lungs and makes eyes that go yellow in 2 years and be happy but unfortunately i care for both myself and my product. i think i’m gonna have to just work on making my space dust free for the white polymer clay but I DONT WANNAAAAAA
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goldensunset · 2 years
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What are your thoughts on each of the Team Star kids?
beloveds. all of them. fave has gotta be eri though she’s both the most intimidating and the most loving. like she’s wearing this cool sparkly outfit that manages to scream ‘wrestler’ and ‘princess’ at the same time. but she’s really just another sad bullied girl like the rest of them who wants to do her best. she stands guard outside her own base and almost just challenged us right away. i appreciate that they made another named character among the team star grunts in that base to add to her character (carmen!) so then we find out that eri reached out a hand in friendship even to the girl who ruined her life with bullying because she knew what it felt like to be alone. also the way all eri’s pokémon are in heal balls! she’s the scariest and toughest of team star and she actually wiped the floor with me but at the same time she has the biggest heart of any of them
uh uh ok so for the others. tbh it’s been a while since i did those quests i don’t remember as much. atticus is a nice and polite man i think he’s cool. great character design but also the splatoon colors and patterns lol… hey as a poison type trainer he gets away with it. i do not remember his role in the group unfortunately but wasn’t it like. didn’t he make the code or something and he was super strict about it? or was that giacomo?
anyway giacomo beloved major props to him for composing all team star’s music because their music absolutely slaps. especially the squad boss battle theme. he’s the real mvp of the squad obviously who needs technology or training or whatever if you have killer music.he just seems like a friendly silly guy tbh he seems very chill. i respect him a lot
ortega is so funny even in postgame after y’all are friends he’s still a little brat. he’s like uhGHHHHHGGFG i can’t believe i lost to YOU!!! how old is this child. i would’ve tweaked his design only slightly to make either his hair or eyes darker, or to make one of them two-tone, cuz the all-pale pink isn’t as interesting to look at. or just fix his bangs slightly. otherwise it’s a fantastic design for a fairy-type trainer. and especially for a guy yeah i think ‘snotty pretentious rich boy’ is the best path they could’ve gone with that. but hey little boy can’t we be friends already
mela was the first one i did so i love her. she’s so sassy and fiery (lol) and i was like :0 when it cut away to a flashback to her past bc i wasn’t expecting it (i love that they did that for all the team star kids) basically it was just the first moment i really realized oh these are just a bunch of sad and rebellious kids who want to be with their friends. even in defeat mela still had to act all aloof but i could tell she cared! and she actually gave me a bit of trouble with her battle too bc i wasn’t expecting that revavroom. that was the first battle i really had to use more than one pokémon for; even my strongest mon who was my water-type starter couldn’t carry me the whole time. it was a rewarding experience
penny… she’s great! i just wish we had gotten to see more of her early on. like i know we were actually talking to her the entire time under the guise of cassiopeia but it’s just not the same as having bonded with the *concept of penny* for an entire game. she could’ve just showed up in person more often during starfall street, or we could’ve had one really solid conversation towards the beginning in between us intervening to bail her out from the team star grunts and her messaging us as cassiopeia for the first time. i think it would’ve done a lot. but hey given how much i love the team star storyline i have to give credit where it’s due to the one who made it all possible- both team star, and their downfall. honestly the one thing i think was really missing was nemona and arven asking her questions about it all during the endgame. i would’ve loved for them to hear the truth about team star but it’s too bad it was just never mentioned outside of that exact storyline. if they had cared at all about it and therefore had a reaction to penny talking about it all it would’ve made those endgame interactions even better. like hey remind us why penny’s here and relevant as one of my allies too other than being smart. just the teeeeeeensiest tiny little things i would’ve added if i were working on this story too. no need to remove or change anything, just add more
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txtdreamss · 4 years
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mirrorball // [g.w.]
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sequel to tolerate it
warnings: angst, fem!reader
summary: It’s been 2 weeks since George told you he has a date to the yule ball. As of now, it’s the night before and you are reflecting on your feelings for him and wondering if you can continue as his best friend.
word count: 1.5k
A/N: So, here it is! I am hoping to get this posted as soon as possible for those of you who wanted to see a part 2 to tolerate it. I had a really difficult time deciding on how I wanted to end this, and I really hope it pleases you guys (not sure I’m happy with the ending, but that is to be expected). Sorry in advance for any errors, as this is a one-woman show and I sometimes miss my own mistakes. :) Special thanks to @ajusquishy for being the first to ask about this addition to tolerate it!
*****
I want you to know I'm a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself tonight
The past 2 weeks had been the most difficult time of your life. George had been following Alicia around like a lost puppy, and even Fred was getting sick of it. Oddly enough, it seemed like George couldn’t get through one interaction with you without mentioning the girl’s name.
“Oh Y/N, we decided to match my tie to her dress!”
“Did you know she said I am the cutest quidditch player she has ever met?”
“I’m thinking about asking mum to knit her a sweater this Christmas!”
At first you could handle it. As his best friend of nearly 6 years, it was your job to handle it. Why didn’t that make any of this easier?
There wasn’t a change in George that you had neglected to notice. Hell, your heart dropped when he showed up with a new bruise after quidditch practice. You were the one who had told him to grow his hair out (and damn, was that a good piece of advice). George had even been with you when he chose his first pair of dress robes for merlin’s sake!
Molly Weasley saw you as her stand-in while the boys and Ginny were at Hogwarts. Of course, she didn’t know that George and Fred had grown in their pranking abilities thanks to your sugar-sweet exterior, but that didn’t change the role you played in the Weasley children’s life. You were the responsible friend who also just happened to lead a double life when it came to the twins.  It was thanks to you that they had received only 3 detentions this quarter, and it was their fault that you now had an affinity for “accidentally” leaving dung bombs in the outer pockets of Cormac McLaggen’s bag.
“Hey, Y/N... I haven’t seen you around much. You aren’t avoiding me, are ya?” George’s baritone voice broke you out of your thoughts. He settled his arms on the top of your head, and sighed deeply, letting his head drop. “Fred and I need your help figuring out what the best escape route from the dungeons is.”
“Go ask Lee, he can do some math too.” Yes, you were being harsh, but George’s presence was enough to shatter any semblance of self control you still had left.  “Now, if you excuse me, I have a study date with some ancient runes and Hermione.”
As you stalked out of the common room, George couldn’t bear to bring up how he hadn’t been able to come up with any solid pranks in exactly 14 days.
*****
You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you
Tonight was the night; your hair was curled to perfection, and the gown your mother had sent you was the color of holly. The heels you had strapped on were a matte black dusted with the occasional piece of red glitter. Despite the fact that George was not your date, you couldn’t help my let your thoughts drift to him as you got ready. Would he think you looked pretty? Would he think you looked as good as her?
Lee tapped you on the shoulder, and you steadied yourself before letting him gently grab your hand. “Don’t let that prat get you down. You look like a goddess, Y/N. Now, let’s go show Georgie what he is missing.” 
Lee was a great friend for doing this for you; he knew about your feelings (Fred apparently can’t keep his mouth shut), and immediately became set on helping you get back on your feet. He had become your greatest cheerleader as of late, and claimed that George doesn’t know it, but he definitely has feelings for you.
As you both walked into the great hall, you couldn’t help but let out a gasp. There were snowflakes and all types of seasonal decor strung up across the room, and it was almost like the room had transformed into a winter dreamscape. Fred and George had beat you there, already sipping punch with Angelina and Alicia.
“You boys clean up nice.” The twins and Lee let out a chorus of ‘hey’s, clearly displeased with your mockery of their appearances.
“Oi, I was betting 5 galleons that Fred would show up in his trainers...” George’s voice was surprisingly meek, almost as if he was looking for your approval with his jabs towards his brother.
The boys immediately began discussing their plan to spike the punch bowl with firewhiskey, and Angelina and Alicia launched into a conversation about where they had purchased their gowns. You felt more than out of place at this point, and decided to relocate after notifying Lee that you’d be fine on your own for a bit. Almost immediately after, Angelina went to distract McGonagall while Fred and Lee snuck under the table of refreshments.
You went to talk with Hermione and the younger trio, and were drawn into a lesson in muggle dancing.
“No, Ron, that is not how you hit the woah.” (I’m sorry I felt so inclined to include this cuz the image makes me chuckle lol).
“Well, ‘Mione, why don’t you and Y/N show us how this is done then?” Harry and Ron crossed their arms, and Hermione slipped her arm around your shoulders.
“C’mon, Y/N. You look like you could use something fun.” She dragged you onto the dance floor, and you both began dramatically spinning each other to the sound of your wheezing laughter.
If only you had noticed a certain red-headed prankster gazing at you like you had hung the stars in the sky...
*****
You are not like the regulars The masquerade revelers Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten
Fred and Angelina had taken to the floor as soon as the waltzing began. After watching them twirl to the crescendos of the music, you finally decided enough was enough. All it too was a look at Lee, and he understood what you needed to do. You slipped out of the doors to the great hall, and found yourself wandering amongst the carriages powdered with snow, occasionally stopping to draw shapes into the piles of flakes.
Following five-ish minutes of mucking about, you finally decided to sit on the steps that bridged the courtyard and the hallways. Snowflakes continued floating, but you quickly realized the droplets of water on your face were from small tears and not the weather. Sniffles escaped your nose, and you crossed your arms in a poor attempt to keep warm despite your lack of sleeves.
Out of nowhere, you felt heavy cloth drop onto your bare shoulders.
“Be careful, love. Ya look like you’re halfway to becoming an ice lolly.” George shuffled his long, lanky body onto the steps. You looked at him through your lashes, and he seemed almost squeamish.
“Don’t you have Alicia waiting for you inside? I’m sure she wouldn’t be thrilled to see you out here.”
“Bloody hell, Y/N, I think we have been pretty dense.” Confusion evident on your features, George let his larger hand cover yours. “I didn’t want to ask Alicia. I wanted to ask you.”
“What do you mean? You’ve been talking my ear off about how much you like her for weeks now...”
“I was trying to make you jealous.” Silence overtook the interaction.
“So you’re saying that we both have been blind to our feelings?” 
George let out a small chuckle, and pulled his hand away. To be quite honest, you felt like maybe you had been ignoring the signs: the subtle stares, the extended physical contact, the willingness to be there whenever and wherever you asked him to.
“I think we may want to start over and forget the last few weeks.”
“I think I would quite like that.” You stood up, and brushed the snow off your skirt before extending your hand towards George. “Well, George, the yule ball is in... now... would you like to be my date?”
“I would enjoy that a bunch, Y/N.” He took your hand, and pulled you into his chest. “May have a dance to start off the evening?”
“...There isn’t any music.” You chuckled, but George simply grinned at you before beginning to hum.
“Problem solved. So, may I have this dance?”
“You may.” You dropped your head into the nook of his shoulder, and George began to sway and spin you, leaving 2 pairs of footprints in the snow beneath your feet.
From just beyond your view, Fred, Lee, Angelina, and Alicia let out somewhat of a “oomph” and high-fived each other before turning to go back inside.
Shining just for you.
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Okay, among us requests, because I am Never not thinking about Hermit among us: that moment in the latest stream (18/06/21) when Imposter Impulse accidentally jumps in the same vent as Engineer Astro? I don't have much more specific than that in terms of ideas, I just think two people crammed into one vent while quietly freaking out is hilarious
oh big same. thats why i asked for new requests :D
btw you're one of my favourite requesters so feel free to send any and all ideas/requests you have! lol
...
As the meeting ends, Impulse heads up to the top of cafeteria, cursing in his head. Having his imposter partner thrown off is never ideal, but at least he still has a chance to win. He’s up against four crewmates, so if he can kill one and frame another, he should have this in the bag.
After faking a task, he heads into medbay. But there’s nobody there for him to kill, so he decides to hop into the vent to head to security and find someone to kill there…
…only to find himself face-to-face with Astrozoan, who is squished into the vent along with him.
The two stare at each other for a few solid seconds, an almost identical open-mouthed, wide-eyed expression of surprise on their faces.
Impulse feels the need to say something, to explain himself. After all, he knows Astro isn’t his imposter partner. But all that comes out is, “Uhhh…”
Finally, Astro shakes himself into action and leaps out of the vent.
Cursing under his breath, Impulse follows suit and pursues him, hoping against all hope that he can catch Astro before he hits the button.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t.
“I just saw Impulse vent in medbay,” Astro says, with an air of victory.
“I did vent, cuz I’m the engineer,” Impulse tries.
“No, ASTRO’s the engineer,” responds Evil with a slight grin. “Nice try, Impulse.”
Impulse scowls at him. “How can you be so sure? Anyone can claim they’re the engineer, especially imposters.”
“I know it’s him because when the last sabotage went off, he said “hey Evil watch this” and insta-fixed it right in front of me,” Evil says. “That means you’re the imposter, cuz there’s no other roles that can go in the vent.”
“The only thing that makes sense is they’re both the imposters,” argues Impulse. “And they’re trying to get me voted out. You can’t just take Evil’s word for it that Astro fixed the sabotage.”
To his surprise and delight, it seems that the others aren’t as convinced of his guilt as Astro and Evil are.
“Oh come on!” Astro sighs as the votes are tied, thanks to Etho skipping.
Impulse watches him as the meeting comes to an end. Astro’s already used his emergency meeting, so he can’t call another one. But maybe Evil can.
The reactor gets set off. Clearly, Tango is helping Impulse out from beyond the grave.
Astro sets off immediately, but Evil stays by the button. Impulse follows Astro past medbay, and as soon as they leave Evil’s line of sight, Impulse shoots Astro dead and vents from security to electrical. He figures now that the person accusing him is dead, he should be back on track. And the fact that Astro didn’t solve the sabotage before he died just gives Impulse more time on his cooldown.
But just as he’s heading back to the table, Astro’s body is reported.
“Astro’s dead,” Evil reports, staring straight at Impulse. “NOW will you believe me that he was the engineer?”
Impulse stares at him for a moment, only now realising how absolutely game-endingly stupid his decision to kill Astro was.
“Maybe he got sheriffed…?” he suggests weakly.
“I watched you run off towards reactor with Astro and now he’s dead,” replies Evil. “I couldn’t save Astro but I’m gonna avenge him. Now will you all PLEASE vote for Impulse?”
Impulse opens his mouth to say something, anything, but deep down, he knows it’s no use. Killing Astro was the dumbest thing he could have possibly done; with Astro dead, Impulse has essentially proven his own guilt. He’s proven categorically that Astro wasn’t the imposter.
“Ohh, I am the WORST,” Impulse groans, burying his face in his hands.
Skizz bursts out laughing. “You killed the one guy who could’ve taken the fall for your kills, dude! You ARE the worst!”
Impulse lets out a long groan and sinks down in his seat, watching as everyone votes for him. He locks in his vote for himself and sighs as he’s ejected out the airlock.
Immediately, the round ends. When Impulse makes it back to the lobby, he seeks out Astro straight away.
To his surprise, Astro starts laughing as soon as he sees him. “Dude, your face when you saw me in the vent was- Oh my god, I’m gonna remember it forever. When you killed me, it all just kinda caught up to me and I just started laughing and didn’t stop for ages.”
“Sorry about that,” Impulse says sheepishly.
But Astro waves away his apology. “No, it was hilarious. It was totally worth it to see your face change dramatically when you realised you’d screwed yourself over.”
“It was a really stupid decision, wasn’t it? I really should not be allowed to play this game.”
“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, it was a result of the absolute worst luck possible,” Astro responds. “Such incredibly bad luck that you happened to jump into the one vent the engineer was chilling in.”
“Well, good on you for already building trust with Evil,” says Impulse.
“Oh yeah if I hadn’t, I think you might’ve managed to convince him you were engineer. He was already suspicious of me. That’s why I fixed the sabotage earlier; to convince him I wasn’t imposter.”
“Dang.” Impulse chuckles. “Good game, man.”
Astro grins back. “You too. Make sure you check the vent for rogue engineers more carefully next time.”
“Shut up.”
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sleepysnk · 4 years
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Hey again :3 I would love to request a one shot with hanji x fem reader. Maybe the can't sleep cuz of nightmares and wanderes the Halle at night even though that's not allowe. Hanji finds her and takes care of her. Maybe she cuddles with her to help her sleep... Thank you again I really loved what you've done with my last request!♥️ Have a beautiful day!!!
hi!! sorry this took so long! i had it in my drafts, and forgot it was here lol. i'm so glad you liked my last request for you!! <3 it means so much. i hope you have an amazing day too :).
Hanji x Fem!Reader: Nightmares
Warnings: Mention of PTSD
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It all started about two months ago. (Y/N) was a normal cadet. She did her duties, did her training, and helped out the Survey Corps. She never really knew the expedition beyond the wall would cause her so much trauma. She went from being a happy cadet, to being a more skittish person. The idea of going outside the walls made her feel fear.
She watched that day as her comrades died, and got ate alive by the titans outside the walls. She even had to watch her best friend die in front of her, and the thoughts alone haunt her every night.
She didn't understand how the others weren't as fazed as she was. Everytime she'd sleep, she'd hear her best friend's voice screaming and calling her name as she stood there helplessly. The guilt haunted her everyday.
It was the same story every night. Waking up at 1 a.m. when everyone else was sleeping. Tonight was no different, she woke up in a cold sweat, and her heart beating out of her chest. (Y/N) didn't want to wake any of her comrades up, so she quietly slipped out of her room, and began to walk around the halls.
She usually did it so she could go back to sleep faster. She never got caught, but she did have to sneak around. No one except the higher-ups were allowed to be awake during the night. She walked around, and was deep in her thoughts.
"(Y/N)?" the girl stopped when she heard a voice call her name.
She turned around and saw Hanji standing there. Shit. "Oh.. hello Section Commander" she said and nodded at her. How the hell was she gonna get out of this one?
Hanji approached her and looked down at her. "What are you doing up so late? You do know you aren't supposed to be awake" she asked.
(Y/N) sighed. "I'm sorry... I just couldn't sleep, please don't tell Captian Levi or the Commander please" she begged.
Hanji seemed a little confused. She never really was very close to (Y/N), but she was one of the soliders she cared about deeply. She didn't seemed satisfied with her answer of 'not being able to fall asleep'.
"Come with me (Y/N)... let's talk in my office" Hanji said and began to lead the girl down to her office.
She stepped inside and shut the door. "Why are we here?" (Y/N) asked and looked around.
Hanji looked back at her and smiled. "Take a seat sweetheart, we should talk" she replied and pointed at a chair.
(Y/N) was definitely nervous, what was Hanji going to do know? She was always someone for crazy ideas. Captain Levi always bragged about it to Erwin 24/7.
"What would you like to talk about?" (Y/N) asked and sat down in the chair.
Hanji sat next to her. "I want you to tell me what's going on, you don't seem like yourself (Y/N). I want to know why you're wandering around" she replied and leaned back in the chair.
The (h/c) haired girl looked around her office. Should she tell her what's been going on? She never really told anyone about her nightmares, or even how she feels. In a way, she was bottling it all up, and it wasn't healthy at all.
"I'm having really bad nightmares at night, I keep thinking about my best friend who died on the expedition. I'm so scared to go outside the walls, and it haunts me everyday knowing I couldn't help my comrades" she said and looked at the floor.
Hanji nodded. "What happens in your nightmares (Y/N)?" she asked and furrowed her brows.
She felt tears begin to welt in her eyes from thinking about them. "My best friend is screaming my name, calling for me to help her, and whenever I try to move I can't. She ends up being eaten alive, and there is nothing I could do" she said and began to sob.
Hanji felt horrible for her. She never knew (Y/N) was feeling this way, and it broke her heart that she never told anybody. She knew the girl was acting different, but she never really wanted to prude on her.
"Oh (Y/N)..." Hanji said and hugged the girl.
She began to sob into Hanji's chest. "It's every night.." she cried.
Hanji rubbed her back, and tried to comfort her. "Look (Y/N)... why don't you stay here for tonight? It may help" she said and looked down at her.
(Y/N) nodded. "R-Really? Are you sure?" she asked and looked at Hanji.
The brunette woman smiled softly. "Yes of course, you need this right now. It isn't any trouble either, so come please" she said.
(Y/N) stood up and followed Hanji to her room which was connected to her office. She wiped her eyes from the tears she had, and looked around.
"Your room is so... big" she said and looked towards Hanji.
She giggled. "I know! When I was promoted to Section Commander I was shocked at how big it was" she replied and sat down on her bed.
She didn't really know what to do. She didn't want to fall asleep, and wake up screaming with Hanji being confused.
"You can sit down (Y/N)... try your best to fall asleep" Hanji said and patted the spot next to her.
She went to the other side of the bed, and climbed in. "If I wake you up, it's my bad" she said and placed the covers over her.
Hanji giggled. "It's okay! I don't sleep much anyway" she replied and lied down next to (Y/N).
She turned the lights off, and they both stared at ceiling. For awhile, it was quiet, Hanji assumed by now that (Y/N) was asleep. That was until she spoke.
"Hanji... what's wrong with me?" (Y/N) asked out of the blue.
She looked over at her. "There's nothing wrong with you (Y/N), you're just going through trauma. You probably have PTSD" she replied.
She hadn't ever heard of that before. "What is PTSD?" she asked.
Hanji sighed. "It stands for post traumatic stress disorder, basically anyone who goes through a traumatic event will experience panic attacks or nightmares if there is a trigger" she explained as she got a bit more comfortable in bed.
(Y/N) nodded. "Does it go away?" she asked.
"No it doesn't, there are ways to prevent panic attacks though" Hanji replied.
"Hanji" (Y/N) said and turned over to where she was facing.
"Yes?" she asked and looked down at her.
"Can we... cuddle?" (Y/N) asked. She wasn't sure how Hanji would respond to what she had to say.
Hanji smiled a bit. "Of course" she said and opened her arms for her.
(Y/N) shifted and felt Hanji's arm go around her waist. The feeling was comforting her, and it made her feel a bit more relaxed about going to sleep tonight.
"Thank you... for helping me" (Y/N) said and smiled a bit.
Hanji laughed a little. "Anytime, don't hesitate to come to me if you have a nightmare" she replied and ran her hand through her (h/c) hair.
(Y/N) smiled and relaxed more, as she felt herself drift into a deep sleep.
179 notes · View notes
euphoria-vmin7 · 4 years
Text
tiger flower 02 | jjk
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pairing: jeon jungkook x reader
genre/warnings: angst, hanahaki! au, non-idol! au, heartbreak, unrequited love, swearing, drinking, sad ending, implied/mentions of death
word count: 4,805
summary: the petals were supposed to be your secret.
rating: pg-15 (swearing and drinking)
– a/n: tiger flower was actually just supposed to be one part. i had no plans of writing a part two BUT since quite a few of you asked for it, I got inspired and wrote this. it turned out longer than i expected tbh. there’s a lot of angst and crying in this but honestly, that was expected with this au lol. i hope you guys like this :)
reposting this cuz i had some technical difficulties oops-
read part 1 here
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Jungkook felt an odd mixture of confusion and worry. Normally, he’d be used to you acting crazy and all, but this was different. He watched with concern as you took another lazy swig from the bottle of beer in front of you. Though, the fact that you were drinking wasn’t what was concerning him. It was the way you were acting.
Jungkook had known you for years now. He had been with you on the first night the two of you had ever gotten drunk. And to this day you had always been the same while tipsy: loud, energetic, and giggly. There wasn’t a single time he could name where you had been any different. He couldn’t even count on his fingers how many times he’d have to shush you in between giggles as you shouted random words that seemed to make sense in the middle of the bar. Crazy, loud drunk had defined you for as long as he could remember.
And though sometimes it frustrated him to no end, he found it endearing all the same. In fact, tonight he had been counting on it. He had called you to come out for a drink with him in hopes of feeling a bit more cheerful after watching you get drunk. He needed to get cheered up.
Though, instead, tonight you were different.
You were hunched over and quiet and zoning out too easily. The happy, cheerful, boisterous drunk in you had disappeared and instead been replaced by this. Whatever this was.
He briefly worried that his frown lines would permanently etch themselves to his young face.
Jungkook had been having relationship problems. That had been the sole reason why he had invited you out tonight. Though he and Jieun had only been dating for roughly three and half months, they had fought one too many times already. He loved her, he really did. But the two of them were so different in personality, that when they clashed, it didn’t end up pretty.
Another more selfish reason had drawn him to pulling out his phone and dialing your number that night. He hadn’t seen you in weeks. He had been texting you, calling you, and trying to catch up with you around campus, but every time he was brushed off in a hurried manner. He wondered whether he had done something to piss you off. But then he pushed the thought away because no, you always talked out your disagreements.
Maybe something was bothering you that you couldn’t tell him about. What it was made him frustratingly curious, especially considering that most of the times, you could always tell him about it. He’d understand. He knew you better than anyone, after all.
Or maybe it was just exactly as you said: “Sorry Kook, I’ve been trying to study for finals,”
Even though for the last few years you had always studied with him.
Maybe it was Jungkook himself. He knew that getting into a relationship had significantly reduced the time he had for you. Was he himself being distant? Perhaps you had grown so detached because he hadn’t even put in the effort to keep you close to him.
Whatever the reason was, Jungkook wished it was fixed soon. It was bad enough fighting with the girl he was dating. He didn’t want to feel your absence so deeply, either.
He thought that maybe your behavior in the past few weeks was being reflected in your drinking habits, too. Because now as he watched you gloomily take another chug of beer, he felt as though he was drinking with a different person.
He was tipsy himself, but felt as though he was seeing things much more clearly than usual. There were dark circles under your eyes that were not there before and he realized that you hadn’t once smiled fully since you arrived. You were different.
“(Name),” he nudged your shoulder, a bit surprised at how clear his own voice sounded. Your eyes lethargically moved to settle on him and he felt a bit hurt at the way you moved your body away, as though he had tainted you by the one touch.
“Yes Jungkook?” you drawled.
“What’s wrong with you?”
You snorted and chuckled. “What are you talking about?”
“Well for one you’re not standing on the table trying to imitate Jimin hyung’s dancing like usual, so what the fuck is wrong?”
“Maybe I’m just tired, Jungkook. You ever think of that?” you laughed quietly as you tipped your drink past your lips. Once again, he frowned.
“I guess…” he muttered, deciding not to push you too actively. He hoped the drinks he was paying for would help loosen your tongue. Help you spill your worries to him just as he had done to you a million times before.
“So…” you spoke up after another long gulp. “What’s with the sudden call?”
“We haven’t talked in weeks, Peanut,”
He didn’t notice how the nickname made you cringe.
“So I wanted to see you. Check in, you know?” he asked, looking down at his glass and traced the rim, feeling uncharacteristically shy. “If you were…doing okay,”
You smiled at him ruefully. He was so blissfully unaware of how everything he did made your heart swell and break at the same time.
“Kook,” you muttered, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m seriously fine. I swear, I really had to study for finals and that’s why I haven’t been hanging with you as much. I’m sorry if I worried you,”
Jungkook released a breath, an unknown weight lifting from his chest. “Ah okay. Gotcha,”
You analyzed him for a solid second before leaning back a bit. “But that’s not the only reason you called me out tonight, is it Kook?”
He winced at your uncanny ability to pick his facade apart. “No…” he responded, a miserable tone overtaking his voice. “I just…Jieun and I have been fighting,”
He missed the way your shoulders sagged with utter disappointment. Though you knew deep down that his worry for you was genuine, the fact that he wanted to meet you for help with her stung in more ways than you cared to admit. You would never say that to him though.
Instead you raise your brows in surprise and show interest. “Oh? About what?”
“I’m…not really sure,” he replies, shrugging in defeat. “We just have petty fights. I don’t know where they come from but…they don’t end well at all,”
You hummed thoughtfully, finishing your drink and motioning to the bartender for another. “Did you two, have a conversation recently that ended…badly?”
Jungkook thought back to the previous week when she had casually brought up marriage and winced to himself. He hadn’t thought about the outcome of the conversation since it had happened, but with the way you were looking at him, worry swirling in your hazy eyes, he had the urge to spill.
“She was talking about the future,” he mumbled. “And I guess I couldn’t handle it,”
Your lips made an ‘O’ shape as you took in this piece of information. “What do you mean by ‘couldn’t handle it’?”
“I…” it seemed that despite you being much more drunk than he was, he was the one who was struggling to form words. “I just…couldn’t listen to it. And when I asked her to drop it…”
You hummed once again. “Well, I guess I understand why. You aren’t ready for that yet. But she’s started thinking about it, right?”
“Yeah exactly,” Jungkook nodded. “And like we’ve only been dating for a few months now. I didn’t even consider marriage when I started dating her,”
A stagnant pause took over the conversation and Jungkook quickly wondered whether he had said something unreasonable.
“Jungkook…” you asked quietly. “Do you…see yourself getting married to her in the future?”
He balked at the question, opening his mouth to respond but finding no answer. He stopped to think about it. Did he see a future with Jieun? Sure, he was crazy about her. Heck, he was pretty sure he was in love with her. But a future?
Could he see himself, years down the line, slipping a wedding ring onto her finger? Could he see himself, years down the line, holding their children by the arms and tossing them up to the sky, tiny giggles echoing in his ears?
He hadn’t even realized that he had shut his eyes, but when he had opened them, he saw you staring at him. God, why did you look so drained?
What happened to you?
Instead of posing these questions, Jungkook tried to give you an answer. “I…don’t know. I want to see a future with her. But right now…”
You nodded. You understood. Jungkook was younger than Jieun was. She had already lived through these few years that Jungkook still hadn’t reached. So perhaps he wanted to, just not yet.
“Tell her that then,” you replied with a soft smile.
“Tell her what?” he asked, confusion lacing his tone as he looked at you. You gave him a knowing look.
“Exactly what you feel. That you want to, but not yet,”
Your voice was tired, but not because of the drinks. Something was horribly wrong and Jungkook hated not knowing what it was. More than tired you sounded…broken.
“I…” he trailed off, looking at you with shiny doe eyes. You chuckled, patting him on the shoulder before placing cash on the table.
“Trust me. You guys will get over this. You need to tell her what you’re feeling though. Don’t just drop the conversation, you know?” you grinned. “Good luck, Kookie. I’m rooting for you two,”
You pulled your jacket off the barstool and slipped your arms through the sleeves. There was a pink flush in your cheeks and Jungkook watched the way your dim eyes sparkled with something new.
It wasn’t something good. It looked painful.
“I’m gonna go,” you sighed, pulling your hair out and over your shoulders. Jungkook was standing in a second, gripping your arm quickly, but gently. The touch made you stiffen.
“By yourself?” he frowned. “You’re drunk as hell, Peanut,”
“If you’re asking if I’m driving myself home, then no,” you snorted. “I’ll call a cab,”
“I’ll drive you,”
“Psh, if you think you’re in a place to drive, Kook, you’ve got another thing coming,” you giggled. “Just take a cab or call someone,”
“At least let me walk you there,” he said hurriedly. He slammed some cash down next to yours that roughly covered his expenses. Something was wrong. It was itching at his gut and bothering him to no end that you weren’t sharing your worries with him. You didn’t even remember that he had promised you he’d pay tonight. You opened your mouth to protest but he gave you a stern glare that had you sighing in defeat. You nodded mutely and turned to shakily walk out of the bar which had suddenly become far too loud for you. Your head was pounding as Jungkook’s heavy footsteps echoed in your ears when he hurried after you. He was at your side by the time you stepped out, taking a mouthful of the cold air to quell the familiar dizziness in your head.
You could faintly make out his sweet voice on the phone, calling you a nearby cab and giving the details of your location. You smiled weakly to yourself.  
You found it harder than you expected to take proper steps and kicked yourself for drinking so much. Jungkook chuckled at you and felt his heart lift when you turned to smack him. He had the conscience to hold his arm out for you and the two of you walked down the street in relative silence. You mentally thanked Jungkook for letting you walk a bit before getting into a car. The nighttime air was doing wonders for your headache.
Jungkook glanced down at you, his teeth worrying his bottom lip as he struggled to find a way to speak. How was he supposed to ask if you were okay yet again and expect a different answer?
“(Name)…” he asked.
“Hm?”
You weren’t looking at him. Lights shone in your eyes and for a second he believed that they were the ones he knew, but the bright buildings around him quickly diminished his hope.
“Are you okay?”
You grinned. “You’ve been asking me that, Jeon. And I keep telling you I’m fine,”
He watched your gaze travel around the city and he was hit with this unfounded feeling of longing.
I missed you.
“But you’re not fine,” he stressed, feeling frustrated in you and himself. “There’s something else bothering you and you’re not telling me,”
Your shoulders sagged and Jungkook mentally celebrated his victory. “I…” you started. “I promise, Kook. I’m really fine. I’ve just been studying so much and sleeping late…”
You sounded genuine. But he wasn’t sure. He used to be able to tell whether you were lying in a second. What happened?
“And…” you trailed off.
“And?” he urged, leaning closer to you.
“I’ve…been getting sick,”
He frowned at that. He never considered that it would be your health that was causing your avoidances.
“Sick?”
“Yeah,” you nodded. “I guess it has something to do with all the stress I’ve been putting on myself lately. But I’ve gotten sick a lot in the past few months so…”
He bit his bottom lip in concern. “Are you…feeling better now?”
You shut your eyes and took a deep breath in. “Now…I’m okay,”
“But…?” he asked.
“But it might come back. I don’t know, it’s all really random,”
He rubbed your shoulder softly. “I’m sorry Peanut,” he felt guilty. “I haven’t even been checking up on you,”
“No,” you chuckled. “Not your fault, Kook. I’ve been keeping to myself. I didn’t want you to see me like that,”
The words confused him. You both had stumbled into each other’s houses countless number of times, no matter how sick you both were. The other one had always made chicken soup. It was a norm.
He worried.
“(Name)…”
You turned to look at him. He felt so empty when he looked into your dull eyes.
“Please take care of yourself,”
You grinned a bit and nodded. “I will,”
He barely believed that. Something was wrong. There was something else you were hiding.
You staggered a bit and Jungkook’s grip on your arms tightened. He was about to start scolding you for drinking past your limit but stopped himself. You laughed. The real laugh. Your eyes shut, pink flushed cheeks, and windswept hair, and yet, you looked so unreal. How long had he been away from you? Did you really have such a strong hold on him that in just a few weeks of being away from you, he had forgotten the way you laughed? He felt a surge of disappointment in himself.
“You’re crazy,” he said, shaking his head as a chuckle escaped his lips. “So fucking crazy,”
“Yeah yeah,” you brushed off, slurring a bit. “Which makes me much more entertaining than you are,”
He had it in him to chuckle. He saw the cab pull up and held his hand up to catch the driver’s attention.
“The cab’s across the street. Think you can make it without kissing the road?” he teased and you laughed once again. His heart swelled with pride and relief.
“I’ve got it,”
That was a lie. You paused a bit and blinked quickly, as though trying to get your eyes to focus.
Then you stumbled forward and Jungkook scrambled to hold you against him. Though he wasn’t prepared for the harsh cough to tumble past your lips. You wheezed in pain, clutching at your chest and his heart thudded with worry. The worry disappeared completely when he saw the petals. You hacked into your hands, repetitive coughs that sounded so painful, he felt it in his own chest. They continued to fall, bright orange against your skin. Petals turned into whole flowers.
When the coughs ceased, Jungkook was looking to your palms in shock. His heart shattered when his eyes darted to your face. You refused to look at him, instead staring at your shaking hands with one expression.
Caught.
His breath hitched, and then an influx of emotions filled his chest. Shock, then pity, sadness, and finally anger.
“What the fuck, (Name),” he uttered in a low voice. “What the fuck is this?”
He knew what it was. He knew what it meant. And the only thought running through his mind was killing the person who was causing this.
“It’s…” you started and he missed the way your voice shook.
“Is this what you meant by getting sick?”
“Listen-”
“Just how long have you been hiding this from me?!” he couldn’t control the volume of his voice. “Who is it?”
“Jungkook-”
“Who is it?!”
“Fuck,” you swore, shutting your eyes and gripping your hair. “I can’t,”
He was livid. Red hot anger burned in his throat.
“You’re protecting him?! After you’ve been suffering through all of this?! What the hell is wrong with you?!”  
There was no way you actually believed you could keep this from him. You bit your lip to prevent a sob from escaping. You didn’t want it to happen this way.
“Get the surgery,” he ordered lowly and you remained quiet.
“Kook-”
“(NAME)!!” he yelled, holding your shoulders. “GET THE FUCKING SURGERY!!”
“I CAN’T!!” you shouted back, tears falling now. He stepped back a bit, though now he was even angrier.
“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU WOULD RATHER DIE FOR THIS BITCH THAN GET THE SURGERY-”
“IT’S YOU JUNGKOOK!!”
It took him a second to process what you said. He was so focused on his anger, on your tears, and on how stupid he had been for not seeing this earlier. When he repeated it once more in his head, fear swallowed him whole. His hands dropped as he looked down at you, lips parted, heart racing.
“What?”
“It’s you,” you sniffled noisily. “I’m in love with you. The petals came because you didn’t feel the same,”
What does one say to that? How does one respond to that?
I’m helpless.
For the first time in his life, Jungkook is speechless. He has no response to your words. No response that seems appropriate enough.
“I’m not getting the surgery for this, Jungkook. Anyone else, maybe. But you,” you cleared your throat and wiped your eyes. The dullness in them suddenly made sense, and Jungkook’s throat tightened. “I would never. Goodnight, Kook,”
You turn to cross the street and Jungkook is desperate to chase after you. But an unknown force keeps him rooted to the spot. His legs are heavier than any weights he has ever lifted before. And the image of your back getting further and further away from him paints itself into his mind. Petals fall from the sky and he cries.
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Hundreds of texts and plenty of calls were ignored until he couldn’t take it anymore. He had always respected your privacy. He decided he was past that. His knuckles were stinging and he was sure they’d bruise with the force of his knocks. He knew you were in your apartment. There was no way you had left since the cab had dropped you off, as Jungkook arrived only minutes later.
Jungkook made a promise to wait there until you opened the door. And both of you knew exactly how stubborn he was. He was counting on it tonight.
“Open the door, (Name),” his voice was already shaking and he cursed himself. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to force you to think rationally.
His knocks were desperate. He wished you’d just give up and open the door, but he knew you were just as stubborn as he was. Memories of competitions and play fights flashed behind his eyes and his throat tightened. He swallowed thickly and knocked harder.
“What the fuck, Jungkook-”
He himself was surprised at the way you wrenched the door open but he got over it quickly and pushed his way inside. You were still dressed in the clothes you had worn to the bar, but you looked much more tired. He wondered how many more flowers you had coughed up since you left. The thought made him sick.
“Jungkook, please,” you sighed. “I’m tired I just want to-”
“How long?” he asked quietly and you sighed again.
“Kook-”
“How long?” he repeated. He already knew, but he needed to hear it from you.
“Too long,” you answered and he shut his eyes tightly. “Years, Kook,”
“Fuck,” he cursed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“What good would it have done?” you turned away to walk to your couch. Memories of the two of you curled up on that couch made him wince.
“It…” he started but he had no answer. You smiled knowingly.
“Exactly. You would’ve just felt guilty for years and we probably wouldn’t have such a great friendship,”
“You should’ve told me,” he repeated, even though he knew you were right. You just shook your head to yourself as he took a seat next to you carefully, as though you’d break right then and there.
“It was my struggle. I have to deal with it,”
He took a shaky breath in, his hands clammy. “Have you told anyone else yet?”
“My parents know,” you sighed before chuckling at the pamphlets littering your center table. “As you can see they’ve been trying to persuade me to get the surgery-”
“And you should!” he shouted, though you barely flinched.
“Jungkook,” you said sternly, turning to face him. “You know what the side effects are, don’t you?”
He remained quiet, though yes, he did know.
“I’ll lose my memories. Of you. Of us. I can’t do that, Kookie,”
“Why not?” he asked, his eyes glazing over as tears pooled at his waterline. “Why can’t you?”
“Because,” you smiled ruefully. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you. I can’t lose that,”
He put his face in his hands and sniffled shakily. He could barely look at you. He hated that you’d given up.
“B-But I do love you,” he tried. His fingers were grasping thin air, but all they were catching were the petals of the tiger flower.
“No, Kookie,” you shook your head. “You know that’s not enough,”
Strong friendship was not enough. His friendship was not enough. He’d never be enough.
“I fell in love with you but you don’t love me in the same way,” you smiled up at him and he felt his heart break. “It’s okay,”
How could you say that? How could you pretend like everything was okay? Nothing is okay about this. He felt so useless. So upset. So angry. So helpless.
I fell in love with you but you don’t love me in the same way.
“No no,” he was crying. “No I do love you. I do,”
You shook your head sadly and he cursed you for being able to smile at him like that. Light he once knew, light that comforted him any time he needed, had completely disappeared from your eyes.
He’s helpless. He needed to do something. Anything, you persuade you. He had to show you.
I love you, I do. I’m enough, I swear. I love you, that’s enough.
When he kissed you, your heart shattered for the final time. You could taste the salt of tears but you weren’t sure whether they came from him or you. One kiss. One final kiss.
You had spent years of your life waiting for this one moment. But yet when it came, you wished it hadn’t. You wanted nothing more than for this moment to be yet another one of your wishful dreams.
Because you and he both knew that it meant nothing. It meant nothing that could save you. He was trying so hard to pull you back to him. To prove that he was being sincere. But whether he was convincing you or himself was lost in the sound of hearts breaking.
He pulled away, hands still holding your face, knowing that once he let go, he’d lose you forever. Your hair tickled his skin like the whispers of childish secrets once did, and he reveled in the feeling. He was sobbing. You had never seen him sob like this before.
“How could you do this to me?” you shut your eyes to avoid looking at him, his crumbling expression brewing yet more guilt inside of you. “How could you let me do this to you?”
“It wasn’t your fault, Kookie,” you chuckled weakly. “It was mine,”
“Stop it,” tears were dripping down his soft cheeks fast as he pushed his forehead against yours. “You’re hurting so much because of me. Stop it,”
What he was telling you to stop, even he didn’t know. A part of him wanted to shout and scream. To scold you for ever having feelings for an idiot like him. Just stop it. Stop loving me, please.
But even he knew it was easier said than done. It had happened. The damage had already been done.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered through cries. “I’m so sorry,”
“It’s not your fault,” you repeated, smiling. He loved that smile, but in that moment, he hated it more than anything. He prayed to the heavens that you would stop pretending like everything was okay. It was not okay. Nothing would ever be okay again.
“Get the surgery,” he pleaded. “Please (Name), get the surgery. I can’t…”
He choked on a sob but you knew what he wanted to say. I can’t lose you.
“Kook,” you mumbled, putting a hand on his cheek. “I never want to forget us,”
He broke then and there, legs going weak and he sobbed. He fell to his knees and cried into his hands. He knew that you had made up your mind. There was nothing he could do to change your mind.
He hated you. God, he hated you more than anything.
He hated the way you bent down to hug him the same way you had been hugging him for years. He hated the way you were the one comforting him when he should’ve been the one holding you. He hated how you were okay. You weren’t supposed to be okay. You were supposed to scream and cry and curse him for breaking your heart like this. You were supposed to hate him. Hate him so that he could feel the pain he had caused you all these years.
He quietly wished that he was the one coughing up petals instead.
Why were you so understanding?
How could you still love him after he had reduced you to this? How could you even bring yourself to hold him when every touch was killing you on the inside?
That’s when he realized that he would never be as good as you. All the playful competitions over the years that he had taken the prize for paled in comparison to this one moment. You won against him, but you lost everything, and his heart ached for you.
You were going. You were leaving him and there was nothing he could do to keep you with him. All his life, Jungkook had despised feeling helpless. But he had never known that it could feel like this. That helplessness could feel like utter destruction. He cursed fate. He cursed the universe. He cursed everything he knew because why? Why did fate have to do this to him, to you? Why did the universe create such a path for people? Why did the people who suffer meet such heartbreaking ends? Why you? Why did you fall for him? Why wouldn’t you let him go? Why you?
His arms felt like lead when they moved to wrap around you, but he held you tighter than he had ever done before. Your body was warm, and images of play fights, spontaneous knocks, and fortresses made of blankets and pillows filled his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, tears leaking from them. Childish laughter echoed in his ears, melding with sweet whispers, and heartfelt secrets. Somewhere in the distance, something shattered. He felt soft petals brush against his skin. They tickled his subconscious, and he choked on a sob. He opened his eyes and looked down at his arms, cursing the lies and false hope he had tried to give you earlier. He praised you for being able to see through him, just as you had always been able to. He felt bile rise up in his throat as his glossy eyes danced over his own tattoos.
He hated Tiger Flowers.
.
.
.
a/n: i wanted to leave the ending broad like this so you can imagine what happens afterwards!! though i think the options are pretty limited lol. i hope you enjoyed :)
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dwtsfun · 3 years
Text
Dancing with the Stars Season 30 PREMIERE!!!
Hey everyone. Welcome back! We are here for the monumental 30th season of DWTS. Can you believe it? It's wild. Tyra is back as host and she was much better than she had ever been last season. Len and Derek are both at the judges' table with Bruno and Carrie Ann. And I actually liked what Tyra had on. I also thought everyone but one person did a good job. Okay, so now, let's move onto the recap/ranking thing.
As we know, when we have this many people, I tend to rank the couples instead of trying to format an entire recap. The same will be true for this season.
1. Kenya and Brandon- Okay so let me get this out of the way. I have been watching Kenya on RHOA for about a decade and I do not like her character on that show at all. I'm gonna try my best to separate her character on there from how she is on here (which I hear is how she is in real life). I just wanna get that out the way so I don't have to deal with any claims of bias. That being said, this dance really stuck with me more than any other dance from Monday night. I think watching just how natural she was, seeing how much musicality she has and Brandon's choreo really blew me away. I was not expecting her to be that good. Her lines were gorgeous and I felt her hold was actually mostly good. She is one of two women that I felt really gave enough to their performance without going overboard. I'm very excited for these two for the weeks to come.
2. Matt and Lindsay- Another shocker for me! I saw that viral clip of Matt dancing on The Bachelor last year and I got so much second hand embarrassment from it that I did not have any hopes for Matt and rhythm. But listen. Matt shocked me. Lindsay actually got something out of him. So much so that I maybe feel like he's actually got potential to be good. He's gotta loosen up his hips and get that footwork together, but I'm actually excited for these two as well. And I was not expecting that.
3. Amanda and Alan- I wasn't shocked to see what these two did on the dancefloor as Amanda is a dancer and Alan has worked with a big dance ringer before (Heather). So I knew that they were going to be good. And they delivered on that end for sure. I thought her attention to detail was great (almost too good cuz it caused her neck to get wonky). The thing that made me really fall for them is that they are really fun together. Amanda also dances through the floor and not on top of it. So I'm happy that we will have one major ringer that really brings it this season.
4. Mike "The Miz" and Witney- These top 4 are here because they all surprised me the most of everyone and they were the most enjoyable. I think Mike (or The Miz, not sure how I'm gonna refer to him just yet) was shockingly good. Like good to the point that he could be a legit contender if he just works a little more on his technique and reigning in the energy. He's very charismatic. He's got the right attitude. And Witney seems to be working well with him. Actually, I'm seeing little bits of her partnership with Chris Mazdzer coming through. I'm liking what I'm seeing from these two and I hope they improve like I think they will.
5. Jojo and Jenna- So I really liked Jojo a lot more than I thought I would. I thought I would roll my eyes every few seconds, but I wasn't. And she made me actually enjoy Jenna as well? Hell is freezing over right now lol. Anyway, I thought this was a great dance. I don't think it was the best of the night score wise, but it was up there. Once Jojo reigns in all that energy, she's going to be great. That was her biggest issue for me.
6. Suni and Sasha- I really wish I could've put these two higher. But I just couldn't justify it. Suni might be the best technician on the cast this season (like most gymnasts have been). Everything move was excellence. Her transitions between each move was also really nice as well. I don't notice that too often but I noticed it with her and I really appreciated that. My issue is that she's not really performing right now. She's in her head and I just want Sasha to figure that piece out sooner rather than later. I want her to stick around and that's gonna be her Achilles heel.
7. TIE Jimmie/Emma and Christine/Pasha- I feel bad for everyone that got a tango on Monday. It's a terrible week 1 dance. I also hate that these two both got pop songs from 2007 to dance to. Pop songs that should not be anywhere near a tango. It just made for two really weird routines. That being said, both were able to show some strengths that will bode well for them in the coming weeks. Jimmie has a really solid frame and good posture. Christine has a very flexible back. I'm a little more worried for Christine than I am for Jimmie as far as fan support is concerned, but I think she'll be good this week.
9. Mel C and Gleb- I hate having to put Mel all the way down at 9th place. I love her and while I think she had some of the best technique of the night, I wanted more from her and I felt like she had more to offer. I can only blame Gleb's choreo for that. While it was fine, it just didn't make a statement to me. It fell flat. He's gotta step it up because Mel has what it takes to make it to the end. And I actually would want to see her there. But in this season, where everyone is at least good (well everyone will be after our first elimination), you have to stand out with the choreography.
10. Iman and Daniella- First of all I want to say that this dance was underscored. Iman needs to work on his feet for sure. That being said, he's got great control of his limbs, he's got great musicality and he can just legit dance. I think this could've been 1 or 2 points higher. I hope he can be a basketball player that makes it far. Also, I want to say that the tall and long men this season have great control of their limbs and are not afraid to move true to their size. That's really nice to see.
11. Cody and Cheryl- I definitely expected these two to perform a lot better than they did on Monday. I'll chalk that up to first night nerves and having a difficult week 1 dance. When Cody let loose, you could tell that he is a really good dancer. Even some of the more technical things showed off his experience. I fully expect them to come back next week with guns blazing. The one pro whose knowledge of the show rivals Derek's, is Cheryl. I think she knows that they may not be in the safest spot right now and that that needs to change, stat.
12. Melora and Artem- I thought this dance was good, but forgettable amongst a sea of other good to great dances. There wasn't anything that Artem or Melora did wrong. It's just that type of season. Melora is definitely a performer. And she's got some of the basics down really nicely. She needs to find her balance though. She lost it quite a few times during that tango.
13. Brian and Sharna- Okay, this is low. But it is not indicative about how I feel about them as a (dance) couple or how I feel about his dancing. I thought he did a good job. I think they're great together. I just didn't care for this foxtrot. And that's okay. They are only going to go up from here and I can't imagine them leaving anytime soon.
14. Olivia and Val- Olivia was good as well. However, she is kinda stiff. I also didn't really like Val's choreo. I don't have much else to say here. She didn't really make too big of an impact imo. I also hated the outfit that production put her in. It was so unflattering and looked like they threw a pair of curtains on her body.
15. Martin and Britt- This was the one bad performance of the night. And it was bad. I had heard rumblings of him not rehearsing very much and that was so obvious in that paso. I think it was smart for Britt to throw that talking part in at the beginning to minimize any dancing he had to do. But yeah, it was bad. I hate that I have to say this because I love Britt, but these two should go next week. I just can't take anymore weeks of this dancing when everyone else is leaps and bounds better already.
So that's it. Sorry I'm so late. I was going to get this up yesterday but I had a terrible day and said "fuck it" to work, school and this blog. Let me know what you all thought about the show and I will talk to you all soon!
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otometearoom · 4 years
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I Finished Tsumugu Logic!! Overview/Rant
It took me a month, but I finished the last chapter of the game and got the true ending. I will keep playing to get all of the other bad ends, etc. 
I have so so many feels about this game, y’all. I will be highlighting a few chapters in the game, so if you haven’t finished it. Beware of spoilers!!
[MANY SPOILERS/ENDINGS BELOW]
To recount my feelings throughout the game for each character: 
1. Tsumugu is a cutie pie. I actually really related to him, because I’m also at that point in my life where I have to decide what exactly I want to do for the rest of my life. I just finished university, but I’m still unsure about my career ahahah. So, seeing Tsumugu struggle to figure his life out was refreshing. 
2. “Sosei” is so hot. I laid eyes on him and thought, uh-oh, he’s my new addiction ahahah. I would buy his merchandise if there was any. The dude loves sweets (how cute is that) and he has such a good head for mysteries (my dream man). Plus, he’s a tsundere but really cares about Tsumugu, often giving hints and advice to him. He’s a very trustworthy older brother/senpai. I could gush over how much I love Sosei for ages. His drunken habits -> those are to die for. He becomes so lewd and straightforward. I love it. 
“Koyo”, on the other hand, I didn’t like him as much as Sosei. Which is weird, cause I love ikemen. Maybe I’m just drawn more into the withdrawn, mysterious guys?? I do like the concept of twin brothers though. I have a bit of a dirty mind so when the twins said they shared everything, even their gf, I was like ohohoho, 3p? 
I absolutely enjoyed the twins together though. I love seeing them pretend to be the other. I wish they had more of an appearance lol. I could even say that Sosei and Koyo are a scale higher than Tsumugu for me. I wish the twins were the main protagonists ahahah. No offense Tsumugu. 
I’ll just summarize my first impressions for others real quick: 
3. Kotoko - I thought she was cute, but I never really liked her and couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly why. This feeling will come into play later on. So at first, I was like meh, she’s okay, I guess. But, as I learned more about her, I really didn’t like her character that much. I mean, I wouldn’t say I hated her but I didn’t find her as a good fit for Tsumugu. 
- When she told Tsumugu to be a salesman or whatever. I was like, do you even know Tsumugu? Lmao. I didn’t know if it was just me empathizing with Tsumugu cuz I’ve often been told of what I should be, but no one asks what I want to be. 
- When she didn’t want to help Mirei, I thought how odd, for someone who tries to befriend everyone, she’s not doing so well as a heroine. I mean, it was realistic, at least. But, I think the chapter where she admits that she tries really hard to fit in so others will like her was starting to draw some red flags for me. It made me wonder how much of her was ‘real’. Idk if I’m making any sense though.
- When she swung the knife at Tsumugu, I didn’t hate her as much as I did when she swung the knife at Sosei (who protected Tsumugu) and killed him. I was furious then. 
4. Sally - I admit I was really turned off by the girly lolita style. Mainly because I’m more tomboyish irl. But, she had a good sense of justice so I actually liked her. It did come as a shock to me though that she was the “gorilla” girl that was forced to kiss Nozaki. Tbh, I was kinda sad she died at the end. Like, I know she killed Hikone, but I could understand her motive better than I could understand Kotoko’s motive. Maybe cuz I have an older brother and can’t see myself being a brocon? ahahah. 
5. Toma - In terms of hotness, he comes 2nd right after Sosei. He’s a really good friend. And I absolutely adore how he scares ppl with his glare lol. i love yankees ahaha. He’s not afraid to speak his mind. He’s a very solid character.
6. Daimon - My girl crush. High key curious who she’s arranged to marry because her fiance seems boring. Who takes an hour to choose a handkerchief? Anyways, Im sad that Daimon and Sosei never got to meet because I’m low key shipping them. Idk if they’d click well romantically because they’re so similar, but I would’ve loved for some sort of interaction. They’d make for an epic couple, solving mysteries. I really wanna write a fic for them. 
7. Tsukasa Tsukasa - I didn’t like him because of the cheating and blaming on my poor Toma, but after that, he was okay. Plus, he helped write the Tsumugu’s love letter to Kotoko. Which I find is funny, because Kotoko copied Tsukasa’s writing, thinking it was Tsumugu’s. Ahahah. The lesson here, folks, is that don’t use your own handwriting in love letters, you never know if you’re crush will copy said handwriting into your own suicide letter. 
8. Mirei - that girl can sing. I kinda cried after hearing it cuz I was going through something at the time and it really encouraged me. 
9. Landlady & Hikkimori - Both names that I can’t remember off the top of my head. I think both people are fun. The landlady is super supportive. And the hikkimori refusing to talk with Sosei made for a fun dynamic. I genuinely enjoyed seeing Sosei offended. Nice way to see emotions on my fave character. 
10. Other characters (Rindo, Happy, Travel Club Members) - I genuinely did not care enough about ahahah. I think I even enjoyed seeing some of them murdered, tbh. They were really horrible people in different ways. 
The Black club members headed under Fumi. Like what? How do you control victims to be assailants and live with yourself to be a future kindergarten teacher? Like what? I couldn’t live with myself if I was her. Plus, her disproportionately large boobs were really weirding me out. I can’t believe Yu died all because Fumi wanted to f*ck him. It’s like one day you’re living your best life and someone thinks, ah, I wanna ruin this person. 
Don’t even get me started with Nozaki. That dude is a piece of trash. Human garbage. He knows how it feels to be a victim and yet thinks it’s his right to assault women. I wanted to slap that guy so hard. So many times. He was like the boy who cried wolf. He kept pretending to be dead and eventually died in the hands of Kotoko. XD I wonder what his last thoughts were. To have died in the hands of someone he trusted. 
Hikone was another nutcase. From what I understood, he just saw everyone else as characters in his book. Sure, he didn’t physically harm anyone, but doing nothing and observing is just as much of a crime as committing it. 
Shun. I never really like cutesy guys. But when he turned out to be an ex-pimp plus lover of Fumi, he fell off the likeable scale. 
Yoshimoto being an uncontrollable drunk murderer was the only thing needed to complete the psycho Travel Club members. Tbh, I thought he was the one behind the killings at first ahaha. 
Suguha. I thought she was a tough chick. It was cool to know that she had another motive to get closer to Fumi. Because I thought it was weird how she took her cellphone at the BBQ restaurant. It’s nice to know that SEEC still foreshadows like that. 
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kingdumbass · 5 years
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the progression of destiel told from Castiel’s entirely non-cracked pov:
season 4: i've only known you for a hot second, but i'm going to turn my back against everything i've ever known and do you a real solid just because you make me feel weird stuff. Could be indigestion, idk. "I was getting too close to the humans in my charge - you."
season 5: i've legit sacrificed everything for you, bro, including murdering my own species just to help you out, and yet you're still tryin' to test me? From stripclubs to Satan's bullshit -That's fucked up. "I've given everything for you, and this is what you give to me?"
season 6: i'll pretty much do anything if it means this one singular human doesn't have to have a bad day for the rest of his life, up to and including working with a bunch of dipshits behind said human's back because that objective is more important than settling the apocalypse the right way. "It seems so simple when you put it like that. Where were you when I needed to hear it?" "I always come when you call. Would anyone but your closest kin do more for you?"
season 7: turns out when you make shitty decisions for the sake of sparing one dude's feelings it comes back to bite you in the ass. and then you die. and then you come back to life. and then that same guy finds you of all people and gives you really sad pathetic puppy eyes when he sees you with someone else. and SOMETIMES you go CRAZY. "I remember you. I remember everything." insert weird clip of everything revolving around that one guy. alternatively, "Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas." wow. what a dick.
season 8: back on my bullshit. would do anything to protect that dumb guy with the car if it means he has even a fighting chance at survival. fuck my own life tho lol. error 404: castiel is broken, must reboot. kill 1,000 dean replicas and still not be able to kill the real deal. (also never TELL him about this for reasons) "You're family. We need you. - I - need you."
season 9: literally a useless human now and after everything guy kicks me out. what an asshole. really shows who your real friends are. But like holy shit, has he always been this cute? lol somehow only my grace is needed for a spell about loving humanity? weird. it's not like that guy represents humanity on this show or anything. "You drape yourself in the flag of heaven, but it was all for saving one man." / "He's in love... with humanity."
season 10: wtf is even happening. this guy i probably love has turned into a psychotic serial killer and instead of ditching his ass i've decided that watching him MURDER THE WORLD is a more romantic approach to the problem at hand. But it's ok because we mirror that other couple where the wife had to do the same thing. weird. very bro like. This couldn't have any consequences -- proceeds to get fucking pummeled. "All she asked of me was one thing. --To stop."
season 11: taking a mental vacation. gets possessed just to let the devil figure out this mess he's made. like that one meme. can't deal with that other guy liking somebody else either. lots of sad eyes. Hypothetical: guy asks you on a drive before he dies for the 118th time says "You're like a brother to me." And well, that's just the last thing you want to hear from the guy you're in love with.
season 12: wow boy i just keep fucking UP. i almost DIED. finally admitted to the human that i loved him, but i couldn't look him in the eye, and then things got really tense, so i wanted to make sure the room knew i was in love with them too. didn't die tho, got even more tense. then the guy up and makes me a mixtape? whatever that means. idk tho i ran away because i was just SO embarrassed. And for some reason he left me 27 voicemails and cried and shit so i came back, but he was REAL mad so i thought maybe we're broken up now and tried to give back the tape. "It's a gift, you keep those." AND THEN I DIED FOR REAL.
season 13: This fucking douchebag tries to taunt me for my undying love despite the fact dean thinks we're bros. "I know what you fear, I know who you love. There's nothing for you back there." meanwhile dean tries to fucking kill himself cuz he's sad about me dying. only best bros do that. like BEST bros. And then voila, i'm alive again. couldn't be because dean's gay love was so strong it pierced through the veil of death and saved the day. nope not at all. "We got Cas back, I'd say that's a pretty big win."
season 14: dean wants to murder our son and he has no respect for my feelings. i want a divorce.
season 15, probably: let's just fuck.
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madfantasy · 4 years
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hii! sorry if you've answered this before, but how did you find your own art style? it's nothing like i've seen before, very dream-like (: i feel like with so many artists out there it can be hard to find one's own style but yours is truly unique. if it's not too much to ask, do you still have any of your first drawings? thank you 💕💕
(Oh & I'm sorry if I have answered it before, I didn't find anything on my blog so woop here comes my blaber)
Hello dear!
Thank you so much, you flatter me and my bit-som of art-som, heh. Specially that you have called it dream like— cuz 1/4 of my creations does come from my dreams. I even had a dream about Severus a couple of days ago- was explaining to him the concept of gestures in smartphones, I told him it's like pulling down a scroll, to get the notifications, lol.
Before I start side-tracking too much, yes- I can't say I do know how it happens, I guess I wasn't on the base of looking for an art style for myself, or ever considered myself an artist— or a real one? Idk. The idea of having an 'art style' doesn't register with me so I'm possibly always confused what to make of it.
I mean, I didn't go into art for art's sake. I don't enjoy beauty just for beauty's sake. It has to have a meaning, purpose, hidden dilemma you need to solve just by looking deeper; is it speaking to me, or am I speaking for it?
My only concern since the beginning of time of Mani apparating this earth and what got them into drawing anyway is: telling the story as best as possible.
I was drawing before I learned speaking. It was my instinctive language. I had something to say? Illustrated it on a piece of paper to show.
Everything I see in my surroundings or mostly in mind, I had a story to tell about. So I didn't even consider that I was making art.
I remember when I developed enough cells to be aware- I started trying to copy or capture the basics of family members, making stories about them, also games or shows I played; I drew Crash bandicoot, driving into a cliff because he was hated by his family, Tiny wearing an abaya. Pink panther cuz how tall he was weirded me out in a fascinating way, Tarzan and his special muscles, a story about an abused squid lady that eventually turn into a mermaid, a guy turning into a hero coz of some near death experience.. mmm stories about my favourite stuffed rabbit CeCe Bobo— probably the only innocent adventures I drew as a child— I wanted so badly to make them into a video game, having their parents fall into a pit of flames, heh.
And because I had daily TV episodes in my brain of whatever to occupy me from unsanitary real life; I associated with many people I love to see materlized; my characters. So I had to try & draw them exactly how they look/feel, and that's what my art slowly developed based on; is this guy the way I seen and felt him look like? If not, try other ways.
At first, I drew them with literal basic shapes, like a character would have a square face, and another heart, and if I couldn't draw circle, I used my pencil sharpener that was shaped as a circle. A method still I use to differentiate my characters (without the pencil sharpener lol)
Later, since my characters have generally my favourite things, or things I enjoy, things I appreciate— basically things from me directly or from my choices, conscious they were or not—had them chopped and scattered between the lot of them. And to learn how to do some favourite factors of them is what drives my art style I suppose. I knew I didn't want it realistic, but I also didn't want it unreal. What makes art real? That's probably the always questions I face.
Ofc, I was face with so many problems to deteriorate my passion for drawing. Like, not being allowed to draw in the first place. I had wait till everyone is gone or occupied, had to always look over my shoulder and must constantly hide every inkling of any art making, and act like the project I'm making is for school, and draw in breakfast breaks at school. I used to draw under my blanket and store my art between my books or under my pillow (never related to anything so hard like when Harry was studying magic and Dursley keeps checking on him, honestly heh). Either all that or I get the whip.
Or being told what's the point of having a style like that while everybody obviously enjoys popular styles like anime or cartoon? Why don't I draw like the popular to get noticed? I don't know how to draw anime or cartoon even if I tried. It will just show as my art style, no? Exactly like speaking two different languages with the same letters.
Or like the idea of strictly sticking to gendering things while the idea never occurred to me. The base line of how men has to be ugly and women pretty. My motto is showing beauty in everything, even in scary or messed up things hehe. But I had to consent to making my guys 'ugly' as possible to continue drawing, and if u notice a line on their throats, that's one other thing I had to do, wasn’t allowed to draw girls either. And I wasn't happy with any of that at all.
But I was able to win my right to draw anytime I like in recent years, and able to draw how I like how I use digital means. So it got better heh.
And no it's not too much, if anything, it was took me on a dusty beautiful trip of nostalgia, I thank you for it. Sadly I don't have my first drawings, and I do treasure them but they all been tossed, torn and burned before me over the years, heh.
The oldest thing I got is this, a comic made, was 11 years old I think:
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Medo, a guy so beautiful that he was forced to work as a femal model, concept that felt the best to me, heh. Even tho I was in no contact with the outsider world.
He is my first solid character and I made endless comics of him.
He's develop into this -dated 2014- , he's fairy sentinel.
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And I found few of my old or first time drawing them pics of the main characters in my stories, I'd love to share:
Juicy and X-bi— second ones I made. But these drawings are maybe 2 or 3 years after I made them
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I know I said that lots, but x-bi was a mask wearing imaginary friend I translated into X-bi. He has almost always cold hands so I used to put my skin on cold metallic surface and imagine it his hands trying to ease the pain.
And since I had no audience home, my stuff showed at school as i drew alone, always with various replies of 'its good, but'
Juicy got me in trouble with a teacher, by a careless student that was browsing my drawings In front of them, and I was classified as mentally deranged and need help for not drawing the usual princes and white knight.
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Fernando and Carlos are also old characters that expressed romance in everything they do, so when I had a drawing of them Carlos tending to a fevered Ferry, and it was snatched from me, everyone considering it intimacy and I had to punch my way through them to get it back. Being called perverted and sick in the process, even tho all they talk to me about is marriage and the process of making babies. One of them literally told me on random occasion that their heart was like a ten story building for rent, there's always someone new in and out.
Carlos is Fernando's soul guardian💛
I created General Pumbkin in school! expressing fashion in strictness with my fav hooked nose!
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Axel was my joy in everything, and the most common character I got beat up for, for being girly. I don't draw him too much anymore but seeing him again made me auto happy , hes all about giving loff, darling hehe
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Candy, a less brain developed babyy
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Brain and Pain, my sibs fav characters from my bag, heh
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And Sabine was said to me that he should be a girl to be that scared in a scary story, his story is like dark and twisted fairytales vibe that I love dearly. I'm trying to continue writing his story.
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Despite whatever, I love doing art, I have to. It what gives me soul juice heh.
And thank you for sticking on my prolonged answer. I hope I didn't bore too much, I'm flooded with memories happy and bad, and they are all okay. It made me feel passionate again, so thank you for the opportunity 🙏
1.5.2020
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destressjournal · 3 years
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DCOM Rankings #92: Teen Beach Movie
This received a lot of hype when it came out, though not nearly as much as camp rock or HSM. But it tried to be the next big DCOM Sumer musical. And from my knowledge I think it was pretty popular, again, just not as much as previous musical movies.
Still, I remember a high school friend saying that she was obsessed with the movie, and even though I didn’t watch Disney channel anymore, it still intrigued me. So I was curious to watch it for this ranking. My thoughts are as follows:....
The first half was good, the second half fell flat.
Ok review is over!!
No I kid.
So let’s talk about the overall story and themes. You got a girl with a dead mom (of course) who wants her to fullfill her dreams and be successful, but never really specifies beyond that. From a young age, Mack carried that journal with her as her one true reminder of her mom, and got it in her head that she needed to be successful like her aunt that raised her, as if that’s what her mom meant. Over the course of the movie, she figures out that she likes being on the beach and surfing, and wants to stay where she knows she belongs. And she realized that was probably what her mom really meant.
I love the concept of a girl thinking that she needs to be something her whole life, because her dead mom said so. I think it’s so powerful how kids can just attach to that as if it will still make them closer together. And take those words to heart. That to me is great (thematically, not actually) and the way it’s portrayed at the beginning of the movie is pretty solid, with its own DCOM cringiness. She was willing to leave the town she loved to “become successful” like what her mom wanted, and if she didn’t fullfill that, it’s like she’s severed her last connection with her.
I WISH THIS WAS SHOWN/SAID IN THE MOVIE A FUCK TON MORE!!!
Idk I feel like we should have gotten more context in the beginning, I felt like we were kinda thrown into the movie world a little too early. Maybe not, idk. Now I’m second guessing myself. I guess I just wish Mack explained this more to Brady to make him understand why she needs to leave their beach town. Because throughout the movie she kept saying she needs to leave because “she has to” and that’s pretty much it. She could have said “cuz this is what my mom wanted and I want to make her proud of me” OOF, right in the feels. Maybe she can say “has to” near the end when she isn’t sure anymore and is tired of explaining it. Maybe it’s me just not being attached to any of the characters that much that I need them to be more motivated.
But let’s move onto something else, the movie and movie world. So it’s based loosely on west side story. Now I don’t know that much about west side story, and I know that I need to edumacate myself, but i think the overall theme is there, right? Two different groups of people, two people from those groups fall in love and start a gang war. But I don’t know any of the specifics other than that. But yeah this movie within a movie is supposed to be set in the early 60’s, and there are times when it kinda looks like it, and there are times when you don’t believe it at alll...I think mostly because beaches look the same regardless of time period but yeah. The editing for this DCOM is not very good, and you know they’ve been trying to add more visual effects over the years and 2013 was still in the early stages of that for TV, so I’m not going to be too critical of it, but it’s mostly how the characters dress and talk doesn’t seem very 60’s a lot of the time. But hey what do I know? I wasn’t alive in the 60’s.
I do NOT like the weather machine side plot though. I thought that was really really stupid. But I do understand that there needed to be a common enemy for the two groups to work together to fight, but mad scientists and a weather machine is the best they could come up with??? They were in the movie for like 5 minutes total I would say. They have 0 motivation, they are only used to get the two groups to get along, and they are used as an excuse for the storm. That’s it. The villains are just devices and not actual characters. Like I don’t need a sob story for a villain to get behind them, just someone at least interesting...I mean, I know the movie within the movie is supposed to be really cheesy and dumb, but you can still have interesting characters.
I do however like the way that Mack and Brady call out some of the bull crap that’s in these movies sometimes, like how they suddenly know what’s going to happen next even though they couldn’t have known, in order for the movie to move forward. It’s so meta haha I like it a lot. At least the writers have some idea of what’s up.
The characters. I did mention it a bit earlier. Mack is probably my favorite (again, it’s not like she’s my favorite character ever, like by any means). And the main biker girl I forget her name. She is really cute and her mannerisms and looks are perfect for the time period I think. The boy characters kinda suck. I mean Brady has a point that he didn’t realize Mack was even leaving until the night before she was supposed to leave. Like,I feel like that’s something you should mention when you meet someone you wanna date??? “Oh by the way I have to leave in a year for school so I’m not going to be here long” like was it that effing hard to say???
Sorry off topic. Brady just loves surfing and having fun on the beach, and that’s about it. Oh and he loves this movie a lot so when they get trapped in it he already knows the context. So that’s basically it. Mack is pretty much the only real character in the entire DCOM and everyone else is just used as a prop to get her where she needs to go. BUT it doesn’t mean I hate all the rest of the characters, in fact I find pretty much all of them to be entertaining, except for the villains who are really useless.
Let’s talk about the aunt and the grandpa for a second. So they made a deal that mack would stay with her grandpa for her first two years of high school, and then she would go with her aunt to this new school for her last two years. Alright, cool. I thought grandpa would have more of a presence in the movie, or talk more to Mack about....well anything. But I guess not? He just stands there and watches Mack get swallowed by the wave and seems to be told to act sad. Sorry my mind is all over the place. Anyway, Mack says at the end of the movie that she wants to stay where she is and the aunt is like okay, even though her character was all stiff and huffy and uptight. Like you’re not even gonna put up a little fight??? Things don’t go this well in real life, I hope kids know this.
Okay ranting over lol. The songs were pretty good, not the absolute best I’ve ever heard but they’re good, just not catchy enough I guess. It’s just trying too hard to be HSM but it’s fine I guess. At this point nothing can top the HSM songs, so I won’t knock off too many points for that. I really do like the twist in the middle where Mack and Brady mess up the movie, but it basically ends up not mattering later (something I’m also mad about) but for a while I was like ooooooooo spicy! And I also like how Mack gave the biker girl advise about boys and standing up for yourself and doing things because you want to, not cuz someone else told you to, which directly applies to her own life. Clever stuff man.
Alright time for an overall grade. I gave this one a straight B because even though I did rant about this movie a lot, I felt weird giving it a C. There is slightly more going for it than against it. It’s still a fun summer movie, and it’s not meant to be taken too seriously, just like camp rock 2. And that’s alright in my book! I just wish this one put more heart and meaning to it, but it was definitely itself entertaining with some classic DCOM cheesy and cringey elements.
One last thing I forgot to mention: I guess they don’t allow lip kissing anymore (I’m sure I mentioned this before) all the main character couples do is hold hands and hug and stare into each other’s eyes. Like who the eff made that decision that all kissing was banned? (Cheek kisses are still a thing but wtf) I’m just ugh did parents complain or something? Is kissing seriously too gross for Disney channel, even if it’s just a peck? What the poop?? Ughh second rant over.
So the next DCOM looks like a snowboarding movie which is like the complete opposite of this movie about surfing, just thought that was funny! I’m going to challenge myself and see if I can get the rest of these movies done by September 1st, but at the rate I’m going now, I doubt it...but we’ll just have to see. Wish me luck lol
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selfcareparker · 4 years
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LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)
oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...
AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.
THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.
about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...
GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao
OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)
I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭
oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩
LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.
OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol
+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭
not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so
hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧
these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3
Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz
Dear lovely anon,
ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)
okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)
OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺
Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time
Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)
SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon
also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo
i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)
i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)
so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴
Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK
(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)
okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow
it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again
girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh
awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)
When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—
Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl
what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3
and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too
And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK
Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)
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Text
Beautiful In Your Skin
Characters: Spencer Reid x Reader, the other members of the BAU
Word Count: 1,406
Warnings: fluff, hating the way you look angst
request by @reminiscing-writer​: Could you maybe do one where the readers eyes are like really (really) bad, but she only plucked up the courage to get them checked after she got w Spence, and because of her bad eyes, she has to wear glasses, but she only does so when she’s not around Reid. Cuz she’s like super self conscious about them and thinks she looks nerdy or old. (I got my glasses in today and I am no excited to wear them :/ need some courage lol)
Summary: You hate your new glasses, but Spencer makes you comfortable in your skin.
Author’s Note: If you have any requests, please send them in! this is unbeta’d and every mistake is all on me.
Feedback the glue that holds my writing together
Tags at the bottom
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Spencer is already at work which calms your nerves when you wake up. Living with him has been a nightmare for reasons not that common. He is such a great boyfriend, and you couldn’t have asked for a better person to live with. He is always so thoughtful not to wake you when he gets up to go to work (he likes to go in extra early to get more stuff done). He makes you laugh, and you’re always excited to go home with him after every day. The reason it’s a nightmare is because you can’t fucking see.
You’ve always had bad eyesight, but you’ve ignored it until recently when things started getting more blurrier and less focused. Without him knowing, you got contacts to use, and they work like a goddess… until you ran out. Your eyesight must have gotten worse with your corrected lenses which is why you have to wear the glasses that came in last night. It sucks not being able to see, but it sucks even more to wear glasses.
They make you look so dorky, and you’re afraid once Spencer gets a look at you with them on, he’ll no longer see you as attractive and kick you out of the apartment and his life. Now, the rational side of your brain tells you that he would never behave that way, and you know it’s right. However, your anxiety is telling you a completely different story, and you’re more inclined to listen to that side.
Everything around you is blurry, and you squint to try and see what is in front of you to prevent tripping and breaking something. Your hands were out in front of you like a zombie, desperate to cling onto something solid that won’t move or take you down with it. It’s a struggle to get dressed, but you manage to make it to the bus stop on time. There is no way you were going to drive with vision like yours. You took your glasses just in case, but you don’t plan on wearing them at all. Just pretend like everything is fine, and no one will suspect a thing.
Getting to work was a bit of a struggle, but you make it into the office with five minutes to spare. Spencer is already at his desk, and his face brightens when he sees you. He gets up and greets you, expecting a kiss from you. Thinking he was more to the right than he actually is, you miss his lips and end up planting on at the corner of his mouth.
“Are you okay?” he asks and pulls away.
“Yeah, fine,” you chuckle.
You reach up and grab his cheeks to make sure you know where he is and run your thumb over his bottom lip. Now that you have more confidence in yourself, you plant one on his lips and grin at yourself for getting it right.
“I love you,” you smile.
“I love you too,” he says with a bit of confusion.
You head over to your desk since there is a mountain of paperwork ahead of you. There is no case today, or at least, you hope not so you can put all of your energy into this one thing. Being out in the field with your vision is a bad thing, and then surely everyone will know you wear glasses. Instead, you’re glad that paperwork is calling your name.
The entire morning is spent filling out paperwork and placing them to the side for Hotch to review later. Spencer’s desk is right next to yours, so he has a good view of everything that you’re doing. When one file is done (not so neatly), you grab the stapler and puncture the edge. Since your vision is corrupted, you couldn’t see exactly where the staple ended up. Sometimes, half of the metal is sticking out of the side of the papers.
Spencer watches in confusion. You’ve never acted this way before, so why were you doing it now? When your pile of files got too big, you took the stack and headed over to Hotch’s office to drop them off. As you went to turn, you trip over the wheels of your chair, knocking it into your bag which exposes the contents. Not knowing your glasses were in full view of anyone who looks at it, you walk to the stairs. You actually miss the first step, and Spencer watches the entire ordeal. He is so confused until he looked at your bag. A lightbulb goes off in his head as he puts the pieces together.
Why weren't you wearing your glasses? When did you get glasses? Were you always wearing contacts? How come he didn't know this about you? Why were you trying to hide it? The straw that broke his back is when you bump into a concrete post and say, “excuse me”. When you enter Hotch’s office, he quickly snatches your glasses from your purse to bring it up later. He is going to get to the bottom of this mystery.
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Turns out there is a case, but it came late due to poor judgment of Atlanta PD. They didn’t think they were dealing with a serial killer until more bodies started popping up, they finally requested the help of the BAU when they couldn't figure out who was doing it and why. As a favor to everyone else, you were cleaning up the briefing room to get it ready.
Spencer walks in the room just as you laid out the last file. JJ is out of the office because she’s sick, so you are going to present the case this time.
“Hey,” Spencer says softly.
“Hey,” you smile.
“I don’t know about you, but I think you need to wear these,” he states and holds up your glasses case.
You look up, but he’s too far away for you to see what’s in his hands. You don’t want to squint because then he’ll know you have terrible eyesight. He understands what you might be thinking, so he takes your glasses out of the case and places them on your face. Almost immediately, you turn away from him in embarrassment.
“What the hell are you going through my bag for?” you ask angrily and take off the glasses.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I noticed you stapling papers wrong and bumping into concrete posts and saying, ‘excuse me’. Y/N, why didn’t you tell me you needed glasses to see?”
“It’s none of your business,” you say with your back still turned to him.
“Please look at me,” he sighs. You comply and do as he asks but keep the glasses off. “Put on the glasses.”
“No,” you whisper.
“Why not?”
“I’m afraid you’ll leave me when you see how ugly I look with them on.”
“Do you really think that low of me? That I’ll do something like that?” he asks, clearly offended.
“No,” you sag your shoulders in defeat, “but my anxiety seems to think so. Spencer, I look dorky with these glasses on. I had contacts, but they ran out. I have to wear these until I get new ones.”
“I bet you look beautiful with them on.”
“Clearly you haven’t seen them on me.”
“Can I? It’s just the two of us here.”
“And what about when the rest of the team comes in? Derek always teases you based on how you look. Why wouldn’t he do the same to me?”
“Derek doesn’t mean any harm by it. And, if he does, I’ll tell him to stop. Please, Y/N. You can’t go on without your sight. It’s dangerous.”
“I know,” you sighed. Because there is no one else in the room, you decide to show him what you look like with them on. He’ll see it eventually, and you’d rather get it over with now. You put the glasses on, but you couldn’t look at him in fear of what might lie in his eyes.
“Oh wow,” he breathes softly.
“What?” you ask, deciding that it’s better to rip the band-aid off.
“I didn’t think it was possible for you to get more beautiful.”
It’s safe to say you never went back to contacts because Spencer made you feel beautiful in your own skin. You still think you look like a dork, but you’re Spencer’s dork which is all that matters.
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nanakibh · 4 years
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Like the subplot in the Tonberry raid quests, I discovered that there was also a strange subplot going on in the Malboro quests. I don’t have much context besides the raid announcements, but they still give you a pretty good idea of the “story.”
This is, perhaps, even stranger than the Tonberry subplot. Somebody on the FF Agito writing staff was like “You know what this game needs? Aliens.”
Suppress the Source of the Contagion! Malboro Elimination Mission
[Rem] Have you heard the reports of a large Malboro appearing in the mountainous region of North Togoreth? Malboros are really dangerous monsters, aren't they? They're strong, but the scariest thing about Malboros are the many diseases they carry and the way they spread them. The village I grew up in with Machina and Izana was devastated by the diseases carried by a Malboro. Let's hurry. We can't let them create more victims.
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Dominion-Lorican Joint Battle! Cosmic Malboro (Wind) Elimination Mission
[King of Lorica, Gilgamesh Ashur] It's here, is it! So that's the creature that came from outer space. It's gotten rather big, hasn't it? I'd like to tell you guys to dispose of it, but if it's also gonna harm the people of Lorica, then I can't sit this one out. Huuuh?! An epidemic?! Poison? Ha ha ha ha ha! Is that too much for you weak Dominion-dwellers to handle? Me and the Lorican Knights will take it from here. You can tremble in the shade of our rock-solid defense.
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Save Nature! Cosmic Malboro (Holy) Elimination Mission
[Azure Dragon Five-Star Royal Guard, Yoiyami Warden Konoha] Oh, here it is. It's a displeasure to meet you. Are you that "visitor from outer space" those frickin' guys from Rubrum have been talking about? To be honest, I couldn't care less if you came from somewhere outside Orience or whatever. I'm not interested in discriminating against you just cuz you "fell from the sky." If you've got some kind of use, then I'll use you without hesitation, but if you don't, then I'm just ignoring you. The thing is... That would've been the case if this thing weren't posing any real danger to me and the rest of Concordia. If it's gonna be a freeloader, then it should act like one and keep quiet instead of swelling up and releasing that foul stench. Everything's got a limit. That's why I'm gonna crush you. You don't mind, do you? If you wanna live by your own rules, then you've gotta have the power to silence everything around you.
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Midsummer Night Snow Cosmic Malboro (Cold Air) Elimination Mission
[Lean Hampelmann] Yo, cadets. I found that Cosmic Malboro y'all were pursuing. It's hiding out in a cave in East Nesher with a horde of Snow Giants. I don't quite understand why or how, but it seems like it's coexisting with those aggressively territorial guys. Could it be... Yeah, it may actually possess some intelligence. After all, it'd be difficult to fight it in that cramped cave. I gave ya a lil' hand and lured it out. Ya better hurry 'n' go take care of it. I'll get in trouble if my old man finds out I'm helping you.
Note: The word Lean uses for Cid here, gifu (義父), means foster father. This was a strange place to find confirmation of their exact relation, but there you go. lol
The version of the announcement on Twitter:
[Lean] The Cosmic Malboro (Cold Air) Elimination Mission will take place on 8/14(Fri) 6:00 thru 8/16(Sun) 23:59. I lured the target residing at the summit out to an open area. Leavin' the rest to you.
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Encounter with the Unknown! Malboro Queen Elimination Mission
[Malboro Queen] Hu mAn S... tHe domi Nant LiFEfor ms of THis world. Ac CEPT u s... YouR wISHes... can GRANT, g i v e  y o u  p o w e r. Accept us...
From the additional quest information: (As usual, this part sounds like Miyu to me.)
I'm sure you cadets have heard about the Cosmic Malboro that's been causing disturbances all over Orience. The Cosmic Malboro is a terrifying creature that parasitically takes over the body of any living creature that comes in contact with its seeds. A specimen that calls itself the queen of the Cosmic Malboros... We've identified the existence of the queen and where that queen has been lying in wait. If we don't take down the queen, we'll continue to live in fear of the threat it poses. In order to completely exterminate the invaders from outer space, the Space Malboros, we'll eliminate the Malboro Queen at Akademeia. According to intel from the Concordian army, the Malboro Queen is a dark-type monster, so dark-type moves will be ineffective against it. (The rest here is just battle information.) To protect human history, we must bring them to extinction. Cadets, I pray for your victory.
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Bureaucracy Pop Vinyl Tutorial!
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Most of the things I learned about customizing pops I learned from @bringthekaos. She started customizing them 2 years ago when she made these two precious babies.
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So really, all credit goes to her for figuring this shit out on her own lol.
Alrighty! Step one! Find pops that look fairly close to the shape you want. Clothing, hair, etc. For Gabe I was able to just use one pop and paint over everything. I used a Michael Scott pop from The Office because I loved the "World's Best Boss" mug he was holding and thought it would be hilarious for Gabriel.
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So he was pretty simple. I mixed my own acrylic paint colors to get the right shade of grey for his suit, and the lavender color for his tie. His hair was a little more difficult, because Hamm's hair seems dark brown with some silver mixed in? So I did a kind of dark grey-brown color for the base and then dry brushed a little light grey on top (dry brush meaning coat your brush with the light grey color, and wipe most of it off so you get a really subtle look.) I painted his shoes brown first and then watered down some metallic gold to paint on top of that (of course with red soles because Jon Hamm wears Louboutins because he's a fancy bitch). Then paint those lovely purple orbs and you're DONE!
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Bee was a little more difficult. Couldn't find one pop that had the right clothing and hair style, so I used two different pops. One for the head, one for the body. For the head I used Major from Ghost in the Shell, cuz I liked her hair and angry eyebrows haha.
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It's pretty simple to remove a pop vinyl's head. Just boil a pot of water (deep enough to submerge the head without the plastic touching the bottom of the pan, cuz the plastic could melt). This particular pop is not hollow like most, it is solid plastic, so unfortunately you can't just pop the head off. You have to hold it in the water for about 20-30 seconds, so the plastic is softened, then use an exacto knife to cut the neck, as close as you can to the head. Then all you have to do is paint the hair (Major has a little blue ombre, so just paint over that with black acrylic) and make the fly. As a cosplayer, I have Worbla sitting around my house. (It's a thermoplastic you heat up with a heat gun, and once it's malleable you can basically shape it like clay, then it dries and re-hardens in a matter of minutes.) I've heard you can also use Sculpey clay, but I've never worked with it before. The great thing about Worbla is it bonds to itself EXTREMELY well, and also to other plastics. So I didn't even have to glue it to Bee's head, just warm up the bottom with the heat gun, hold it onto the head where I want it, and it will never break off. Ever. I could yeet this pop vinyl and that fly ain't going anywhere.
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Now to the body. I used the Twelfth Doctor, because his coat had the look of Bee's morning coat. I also liked the idea of using a female pop vinyl for the head and a male one for the body.
WHAT IS GENDER.
Anywho.
This is what the body looked like before.
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Again, I boiled the head (this one you can just wrestle it off the body, because it is hollow). You'll have to trim the neck a bit with the exacto knife to be able to attach it to the head later. I also held the body in the boiling water (probably best to do this before removing the head so you have something to hold on to while the body is in the hot water) and then cut the sonic screwdriver out of his hand, as close to the hand as possible. Now the real work begins.
PAINT EVERYTHING. Bee's tiny details almost broke me (the regalia, the crown lapel pins, the net/chain waistcoat, the sash, the pinstripe pants, THE FISHNETS. How dare that demon have the AUDACITY to wear ****ing fishnets grumble grumble grumble)
In short, buy the tinyest itsy-bitsy detail brushes you can find, and sacrifice a goat to Satan so your hand will be steady enough and you will have the GD sanity to paint those stupid details.
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(Photo taken before the fishnet socks were painted on because I was about to rage quit lol)
Now instead of glueing the head onto the body (which you could definitely do, I'd suggest super glue or E6000) I once again used Worbla, because I wanted the strongest bond possible (especially since these are a gift and will be shipped across the globe lol).
So instead of glue, I just warmed up a tiny dot of Worbla and used that to fuse the neck to the head.
You can spray them with matte Mod Podge, as a sealant, and then YOU'RE DONE!
(Now if you're wondering what happens to the spare pop vinyl parts, like Major's body and the Doctor's head... yes, we do indeed have a drawer in our craft supplies of spare body parts.)
*Laughs in Frankenstein*
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