#cute date night idea: get revenge on That Asshole

[skeleton-in-a-hoodie]

DDMG Tang Shen would hunt 12 Saki for sport.

No encouragement needed. Just mention that he kidnapped Miwa and tried to kill Splinter + the Turtles, and she'd be at his hideout in under 5 minutes with a claw hammer and 12 years of grief turned into pure rage.

by the time anyone else arrives, you'd just have ddmg shen covered in blood, stood above something that might have once been a human but it's hard to tell. she'd set the place on fire too.

like i just enjoy imaging ddmg shen stepping through the fire towards shredder, weapon in hand. she looks less like the woman he remembers, and more like a vengeful spirit come to drag him to the pit, mile by blood mile

[vroomvroomcircuit]

Still Waters run deep

Summary: Logan learns that his girlfriend actually is the master of planning petty revenge. Let's listen to the tales she can share.

Wordcount: 1.7k

Warnings: Mentions of one toxic and mean ex, but other than that this is 100 % unhinged fluff

🏎Masterlist🏎 ________________________________

Date the shy girl, they said. Date her, she is an easy one. She will love you forever.

That Logan will open his hotel door to see several car door windows on the table was nothing that anyone had told him before chatting up the quiet girl in his math class in ninth grade.

But here he is, staring at three windows of different shapes. “Babeeee? Are you here?” Logan continues to keep his eyes on them, thinking they will disappear as soon as he looks away.

Currently he can’t find a single rational explanation of why those are in his hotel right now. Did someone break in and place windows on his table? And not steal something else?

Did his girlfriend sleep walk and buy windows?

There is not an explanation that he can come up with that fits the current situation.

“Babe? Why do we have car windows that are definitely not the ones for our rental in our hotel room?” The door to the bathroom finally opens and (Y/N) appears back into the main lounge. “Oh hi, Honey! You need to help me with something!”

Logan spots excitement and a hint of mischief on her face while she walks with a pep in her step towards the table. “You see, these windows are from Magnussen’s, James` and Lewis’ private cars. I also got glass staining colors, glue and a canvas. I thought we could smash up the glass to destroy the evidence and then make a mosaic kind of craft out of them! A cute little date night to finish off this awful weekend.”

He blinks at her a couple of times while listening to her explanation. “Baby, please tell me you did not steal car windows from people who wronged me.” His voice is soaked with a begging undertone.

“Oh yes, I did. I mean after James stealing your car, Kevin crashing you out and Lewis impeding on you without getting a penalty, I thought about how you can inconvenience someone, whose problem is not money.” (Y/N) continues to smile, elated by the devilry she managed.

But Logan shakes his head. “And you thought vandalizing their cars is the best way? How do you even know how to steal a car window? I don’t know how you would manage to do that without getting caught.” Exasperated, he sits down on the couch.

“Well, my dad taught me in high school how to do it. You know, for revenge reasons. I’m not the type to meet someone head on when they wronged me and my dad knew that. So he showed me how to steal car windows, knowing I’m not the confrontational type.” The smile on her face is contradictory to the crime she admits committing.

The American puts his head between his hands, understanding the weight of the situation. “We need to get rid of the windows. Did someone see you? How were you able to slink away with windows in your back?” But (Y/N) shakes her head. “Nobody saw me. I can’t tell you how I got away with it, in case you wrong me. I mean, I have other cards up my sleeve, but I can’t tell you those either. Just know, no one can connect you nor me to the theft. So now to the actual important question: Do you have a motive idea for the mosaic? Because I thought we could do a bouquet of flowers.” 

After that race weekend the couple leaves their hotel room with their usual luggage and an extra canvas wrapped up in bubble wrap.

Logan starts to wonder: what other kind of unhinged things has his girlfriend committed?

“Oh, you know how my ex-boyfriend was an asshole?” That is actually no news to Logan. From the beginning of their relationship (Y/N) has been pretty open about how she was treated by her previous partner. She felt like she had to explain to him why receiving his love in the way he gives it was strange to her in the beginning.

They dated during the time Logan and (Y/N) started talking. Back then, it wasn’t obvious to her what kind of person that boy was. Logan on the other hand was ready to ride at dawn for her the first chance he could get.

Her ex-boyfriend didn’t have many kind words in his vocabulary, especially for his partner. Logan caught this early on, making sure she knew her worth, even before she broke up with him.

He also wasn’t appreciative of (Y/N) and her gestures, the small and simple gifts indicating her love for him. Her doing small acts of service, showcasing she would inconvenience herself for him. These things were taken for granted. But not by Logan. He, to this day, makes sure to show her how much he loves and appreciates her thinking about him.

“So do tell. How did you get back at him?” Logan asks on the plane back to London. (Y/N) hinted earlier that she also took revenge on him.

“Mh, I don’t feel like repeating this one, so I will tell you. But keep this close to your chest, because it was genius.” Like usually during one of their secret trades, Logan holds his pinky finger out. (Y/N) links hers with his and whispers “If you break the promise, I will hack it off.” The American does not doubt that for one second.

The woman leans back into her seat, fiddling a bit more with the crocheting she brought onto the plane. How she gets the hooks, scissors and needles through TSA every time without a hiccup is another mystery to Logan.

“So, after I broke up with him I got a 500 pack of keychains off the internet. You know, those bright plastic ones, where you can write your name and number down, in case you lose your keys? Some friends and I used a whole afternoon to write his details on them and tag them with a ‘call this number if found’. I also ordered an ungodly amount of generic keys and we put them on the keychains. Next step was just to divide the keys between us and leave them everywhere. In supermarkets, public toilets, parks all over different cities. Just, everywhere where someone could find them. I heard from mutual friends that he still got phone calls regarding lost keys years later. Knowing he has been inconvenient this whole time every now and then, that gives me massive satisfaction.” (Y/N) smiles into the yarn, reminiscing in the feel of getting back at someone over and over again by doing something so simple.

Logan throws his head back, laughing. “I mean, he definitely deserved that. But this is also so so evil. I can’t believe that you’re the same girl that makes me order for the both of us anywhere we go. Do you have any other stories like that?”

She thinks about it, letting his question rummage in her head for a moment. There was one time where (Y/N) hid throughout their high school mini plastic babies in the most random places. She also once put yogurt into the mayonnaise glass, because her brother ate her snacks and made himself a mayo sandwich every day for lunch at school. Since then, her snacks remained untouched. Then there is-

“Oh, you know how I complained about your snoring and you didn’t believe me that it was that bad?” Logan nods cautiously, not sure where this will be leading to. “Well, I recorded your snores and put them on Spotify, so other people can suffer with me. Track ‘Logan snoring for 3 hours straight until he coughed himself awake’ has 150.000 streams right now.”

His laugh is quickly quietened. “You did what?!” (Y/N) pulls out her phone and shows him the evidence on her spotify. “I told you I would do it. Do you believe me at least now about your snoring? Because I got about 150.000 testimonials.” Logan scrolls through the page she showed him, finding several of his snoring recorded and uploaded.

“You know what, I will schedule an appointment with my doctor as soon as possible”, he agrees after listening to one for a few minutes.

Their flight back is used by trading more funny stories about all the ways she got her revenge in petty ways.

“What do you want for dinner?” (Y/N) asks him later in the evening since she just came back from getting groceries. “I don’t know”, Logan murmurs, eyes stuck on some data on his laptop. The woman nods to herself and vanishes into the kitchen. Noting the time, Logan decides to follow her to help in a couple of minutes.

Unfortunately for him, (Y/N) already beat him to it as she brings him a bowl with a fork. “Here you go, Darling, have a good dinner”, she gives him the dish with a kiss to his cheek. Surprised that she didn’t take even ten minutes to whip something up, the American looks into the bowl excited for one of her amazing dishes. He wonders about the lack of having a dish herself, but maybe they share this one.

Much to his disappointment, there is no food. Instead, he is met by a couple strings of paper with “idk” written on them. He looks up to his girlfriend. “You know, this really serves me right and you played this good.” He smiles at her, seeing the satisfied grin on her face. He gets up, takes his wallet and keys and ushers her to the front door. “Let’s go out to eat. I will also order for you too, don’t worry about that.”

Logan will never be able to get over her bright smile when he reassures her about the process of ordering. In these moments, he just wants to squeeze her cheeks and never let go of her. Maybe dating the quiet and unhinged girl is not half that bad.

Still, if he learned one thing since chatting up the quiet girl in his math class, it’s that still waters run deep. Oh, and they plan the pettiest revenge.

[almostloosingit]

Tokyo Revenges Drabbles

Rindou

GN reader

Fluff

I don’t know where the idea of this man being a bad boyfriend came from but hey… he ranked 2nd on the “best boyfriend ranking” for a reason.

I get it he breaks peoples bones like it’s a stick and poses like an old fighting game character, BUT you can NOT tell me this man wouldn’t be the softest with his partner. I mean LOOK AT HIM! Ran is better at playing being tough and shit with his partner, but Rindou? The second you say something flirty or slightly suggestive this man is turning into a tomato. No way you would say something like that in public, right? He must be hearing things.

I mentioned before and it is literally the truth when it comes to Rin looking up to and respecting his older brother so if you’re mean and being to Ran for no reason… you are gone. If for example you got into a fight with Ran or he was being an asshole and you were just protecting yourself/baiting back, that’s fine, but being a pure bitch to him for no reason? Nope, he’s not having it. That’s why he was really happy when you and his older brother were getting along really well. (Ran would not have it either but this ain’t about him.)

I feel like the brothers do skin care routines, nothing overboard but they have some good stuff. I feel like Rindou would be embarrassed to tell you about it. He’s afraid that if you find out, you will see him as “less manly” or some dumb shit. When he told Ran, he gave his younger brother an eyebrow raise then burst out with laughter.

Either to say next time they were doing a skin care routine Ran took a mirror selfie with Rindou and sent it to you.

Ran was holding the phone with one hand and doing a peace sign with the other. He had a frog hair band while his face mask was light blue. Next to him was your cute ass boyfriend, his face was still close to the mirror as he was still applying the clay face mask that was also light blue. His hair band was just the back metal one. He looked so cute. But it didn’t go in noticed by you that there was a light blue hair band laying on the side. You asked Ran about it and he said that Rindou didn’t put it on today cuz he would look way too blue since his hair as well. You asked Ran to send you another picture when Rindou is wearing it. Guess what picture of Rindou you got the next day?

You were hanging out with your boyfriend. You were making him a drink when you heard your phone make a noise. (You and Rindou did a rock-paper-scissors and who lost had to change their notions sound because each time there was a notification both of you chased your phones p.s he won)

“Could you check who texted me babe?” You shouted from the kitchen. You don’t understand how happy it makes him that you trust him that much. It’s a low standard but still.

“Of course!” He said while picking up your phone. He was about to tell you when he saw your lock screen .

It was him making a peace sign while sitting relaxed on his couch with his blue hair band and a sheet hello kitty (cinnamon roll) face mask. To say the least my guy was shocked.

He came into the kitchen holding your phone with the screen facing you.

“When? How?” He asked, embarrassed. Shit you forgot to change your lock screen.

“Ran send it to me. He said that you were embarrassed to tell me that you have a skin care routine, so he started to send me pictures of you while you guys do your skin care.” You said, while walking in his direction, passing him his drink then taking your phone. “No need to be embarrassed, love. You are the most adorable manly man out there.” You said before placing a kiss on his cheek. “We should do some face masks together, you know? It would be a cute movie night date.”

He’s glad you get along with his older brother, after all if you didn’t, you and Rindou wouldn’t have plans for tomorrow night.

A special addition from @syunsww1 (one of my lovely beta readers.)

“I feel like he would hold the phone to your ear when you're on a phone call as you are painting his or your nails.”

He would also hold your phone as your painting your toenails. You know it’s a team effort. HES TRYING HIS BEST TO HELP. He also wants to hear the drama from your bestie.

I used spin wheel to determined who won the rock-paper- scissors.

@69doing

[violet-moonstone]

vigdagcup playlist song #6

"Tear You Apart" by She Wants Revenge

This song makes me feral I can't explain it. It reminds me a lot of Closer but with a different sound.

Honestly I see this as more of a dagcup song...specifically for the highschool/college Dagcup AU I made up/was obsessed with last summer - in which Dagur and Hiccup are paired up for a project - Hiccup is not happy about it because Dagur's kind of an asshole and he knows he's going to end up doing all the work. Dagur is conflicted because he has a huge crush on Hiccup but absolutely does not want to acknowledge it at all. He denies his feelings until the bubble bursts and they may or may not end up making out in Dagur or Hiccup's bedroom. (I also imagine a lot of cute bonding moments where they show each other the music and video games they like...and Dagur tries to find as many ways to spend time with Hiccup as possible.)

Dagur makes it clear that it's *only* physical and he definitely does not want a boyfriend - and Hiccup goes along with it because honestly he's surprised that someone is even attracted to him. There's lots of moments where Hiccup will forget the "rules" and hold Dagur's hand in public or look at him in a way that Dagur thinks is too romantic and Dagur keeps telling him to stop.

But Dagur starts to realize oh no he's slowly falling harder and harder for this complete nerd and he has no idea what to do about it.

At some point it ends with Dagur just saying screw it and deciding to be open about his relationship with Hiccup. I think after an argument he might go up to Hiccup in the hallway and take his hand to walk him to class. And Hiccup would ask what about the rules? And Dagur says fuck the rules.

I see this song as Dagur finally working up the courage to either tell Hiccup he's attracted to him or that he has feelings for him

btw this was heavily inspired by long exposure and american shameless

anyway that was a very long intro. lyrics below

Lyrics

Got a big plan, this mindset maybe its right At the right place and right time, maybe tonight And the whisper or handshake sending a sign Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait never mind

Late night, and passing, mention it flipped her Best friend, who knows saying maybe it slipped But the slip turns to terror and a crush to like When she walked in, he froze up, believe its the fright

Its cute in a way, till you cannot speak And you leave to have a cigarette, your knees get weak An escape is just a nod and a casual wave Obsessed about it, heavy for the next two days

It's only just a crush, it'll go away It's just like all the others it'll go away Or maybe this is danger and he just don't know You pray it all away but it continues to grow

I want to hold you close Skin pressed against me tight Lie still, and close your eyes girl So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close Soft breath, beating heart As I whisper in your ear I want to fucking tear you apart

Then he walked up and told her, thinking that he'd passed And they talked and looked away a lot, doing the dance Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare

They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do 'Cause there's always repercussions when you're dating in school But their lips met, and reservations started to pass Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last

Either way he wanted her and this was bad He wanted to do things to her it was making him crazy Now a little crush turned into a like And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her

I want to hold you close Skin pressed against me tight Lie still, and close your eyes girl So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close Soft breath, beating heart As I whisper in your ear I want to fucking tear you apart

[mypalbuck]

SOMETHING GREAT —CHAPTER 1

The day you lost your fiancé to the blip was the worst day of your life. Well, you thought it was until he returned to you and decided he didn’t want to be with you anymore. That was the worst day of your life. Heartbroken, your friends encourage you to sign up for online dating. With nothing to lose you sign up and stumble across a familiar face, a 106 year old super soldier who is sweet as honey. Will love blossom? Or will past experiences sabotage something great?

↳ in which your first tinder match isn’t what you expected (social media au)

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: crude language, failed relationship, mentions of cheating, mentions of beating an cheating ex bf’s ass

Word count: 1.8k

a/n: this first chapter has more writing than social media ik but it is needed to set the story! future chapters will either be all social media, all written or a mix of both! (anything written in italics is a flashback)

“I’m leaving you, y/n”

All it took was four words for your life to fall apart. The five years where Mike was nothing but dust was torture for you, all those sleepless nights where you cried yourself to sleep wishing and hoping he would return to you were all in vain. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” Five words that cut deeper than a knife. You wanted nothing more than to beg him to stay, but your pride knew that it would be pointless, he had made up his mind. There you sat in the middle of your shared living room, mascara dripping down your face. Oh how your friend Vanya would grimace at the sight. “I have nowhere to go...” you whispered sadly, expecting Mike’s stern gesture to soften at your vulnerability but it didn’t. 

“Not my problem! Figure it out.” Mike moved to walk out of the door, but you mustered the courage and yelled out to him. “There’s someone else, isn't there Mike...” He spun on his heel and without so much as blinking he replied “My assistant. Now hurry up and pack your shit, she’ll be here soon.” 

Nodding your head, you packed what little things you owned into your worn out suitcase. It wasn’t the first time Mike kicked you out, you knew the drill. Maybe that’s why you left the majority of your belongings in a storage container. With one final look at the apartment, you moved towards the door to leave. 

“Y/n, wait!” Mike yelled out and your heart leapt for joy. He changed his mind. He jogged up towards you and held his hand out. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before placing your free hand in his palm. Slapping away your hand, he sighed frustrated. 

“I don’t want to hold your stupid hand, I want my ring back.” You looked down to the sparkly ring on your finger, pulling it off your finger you looked at the engraving on the inside “Love, Mike.” You thought it was strange that it said that, normally couples put their initials in the ring to symbolise their eternal love. You guess that Mike wanted to reuse the ring whenever it seemed to fit him. Yuck. Looking up at your former fiancé, you let out a bitter chuckle before pegging the ring at his forehead and leaving. You heard Mike yell out insults towards you, but for the first time you didn’t care. You simply left. You felt fine… until it dawned on you that you were now homeless.

“Taxi!” you yelled from the side of the road. Unlike in the movies, the taxis didn’t stop for you. “Assholes” you muttered as you began walking for gods know how long until you passed a sushi restaurant busy with customers eating their dinner. You stood there for a moment, staring at some of the couples laughing and eating inside when a memory filled your mind.

“What do you want for dinner, Mike?” you asked lovingly, it was the first night you two had moved into your shared apartment. When you heard no response you walked into his office.

“Babe? Did you hear what I said?” you walk further into his office only to see it empty. “Where is that man?” you grab your phone and call him, just as you were about to hang up he answered. “What?” his response made you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “I just got out of the shower and you weren’t in your office like you said you’d be.” you heard a scoff and some whispering on the other end of the phone before Mike responded “I got called back into work, there was a bug in the coding I have to fix for tomorrow’s meeting.”

“Aw my fiancé is such a hard worker! How about I pick up some sushi for us and come keep you company while you work?” you suggested, placing the phone on your shoulder as you started to get ready to go. “No. I hate sushi.” the phone suddenly fell from your shoulder to the ground. Since when did he hate sushi? What on earth was up with him? You leant down to pick up the phone but realised that Mike had hung up on you.

You laugh bitterly, shaking away the memory. You should’ve known something was up after that phone call. Your first date was at a sushi restaurant, he picked the place! Since that night you never had sushi again. Not even when Mike was blipped away.

Well fuck you Mike!

You loved sushi and you would be treating yourself to some tonight. Stepping foot into the restaurant you take in the aromas of the food being cooked and sigh happily taking a seat at the sushi train. The lady working there smiles at you “Can I get you a drink?” smiling back at you, you reply back with just a water. The waitress turns to the old man sitting next to you “Yori?” she asks “A bottle of nihonshu and two shot glasses.” nodding her head, the waitress moved to get the drink. 

“Rough day? I’m Yori.” the old man greets you, turning and placing one of the shot glasses in front of you. “Y/n and you have no idea!” you sigh, taking the shot, the burn of the alcohol feeling nice. Yori grabbed a plate of sushi off the train and placed it in front of you. “Eat and then we can talk.” your heart began to swell at the kindness of this stranger, following his instructions you began to eat and drink until you were full and tipsy. 

“That bastard! Why would he do that to a nice girl like you?” Yori sighed sadly, patting your back comfortingly as you cried. “I d-don’t know…” you choked a sob before moving to take another shot. Yori reached for the shot glass and moved it away, “Is there anyone you can call to come get you?” you nod your head, mascara streaming down your cheeks. You hand Yori your phone and he makes a call to your friend Vanya and explains everything, at first she was confused but tells Yori that she knows the place and is on her way to get you. In the midst of your meltdown, you begin searching through your bag for your wallet to get money out to pay for your food and the drink but Yori puts the money back in your hand before handing his own money to the waitress covering both your meals. “It’s on me, Y/n. It’s the least I can do.” you begin to cry again, Yori pulls you into a hug. 

“Y?N!” Vanya burst into the restaurant, all eyes were on your beautiful friend as she rushed towards you and checked you for any injuries before pulling you into a hug. “I’m going to castrate that mother fu-” you begin to laugh, sobering up you stand up grabbing your suitcase and handbag before turning to Yori. “Next meal is on me, Yori.” the man smiles at you and nods in agreement. “Do you need a life home?” Vanya asks the man, wanting to do something in return for looking after you. “No need, my friend is planning to meet me here in a bit. You would like him y/n!” you smiled “Maybe another time, I should get going.” Understanding, Yori bid you both farewell.

“Vanya, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t think of anyone else to call…” you arrived at Vanya’s studio apartment. “Are you kidding me, Y/n? What kind of friend do you think I am?” Vanya moved to the fridge, pulling out ice cream and beer. Kicking off your shoes, you move to sit on the lounge. Vanya moved to sit next to you, handing you some ice cream and a beer. “Now tell me everything.”

“I’M GOING TO BREAK EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY! SLOWLY SO HE CAN FEEL THE PAIN YOU’RE FEELING RIGHT NOW.” Vanya growled, standing up and putting her boots back on. Rushing over to her, you grabbed hold of her leg so she couldn’t move.

“No, I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I’m hurt.” Vanya shook her leg trying to get you to let go “But he can’t get away with it!” you let go of Vanya’s leg. “I’m not.” you walked back to sit on the lounge. “Do you have a plan?” Vanya sat down next to you.

You nodded your head yes “To start fresh, to be happy.” Vanya smiled in agreement “Revenge is a dish best served with a smile.” grabbing your phone, Vanya started typing away. “What are you doing?” you watched in horror as you watched your friend was set up a tinder account for you. “Vanya are you serious!” you tried to grab the phone from her, but she moved it further away from you and winked “Best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.” You rolled your eyes and took your phone. “I’m not sleeping with a stranger, I just got out of a long term relationship”. Vanya took a sip of her beer “Just have a look, it doesn’t hurt to look does it?” you laughed “You’re not wrong… let me set up my profile how I want it”.

Scrolling through you didn’t swipe right on anyone you saw, all the same profiles trying to show off or hook up. That’s not what you were looking for. To be honest, you weren’t sure what you were looking for until your page was refreshed and you were stunned looking at the most handsome man.

“Wow!...” you gasped, showing your phone to Vanya who nodded in approval. “He’s so cute, in a you know a he can snap me in half way.” you giggled at your friends crude language before reading his description “Hi my name is Bucky. I honestly don’t know what to write here… I’m a pretty nice guy. I like sushi!...” Vanya cheered “Someone to take you out for sushi, I bet Yori would love him!” you laughed at your friend and nodded in agreement. “How old is he?” your eyes sweeped the screen looking for his age and widened at the sight of a triple digit number “106…” 

“Very funny, Y/n. How old is he really?” you scanned the screen again before reply “106.” Vanya grabbed the phone from your hand and saw for herself. You gasped in realisation “That’s Bucky Barnes, former Howling Commando!” Vanya laughed, “Like Captain America, Bucky?” you nodded your head. “Well, what are you waiting for? Swipe!” you nodded your head and swiped right. Your heart beated out of your chest when suddenly you jumped up making Vanya spill some of her beer. 

“WE MATCHED!” You and Vanya began to jump and squeal. Maybe this was happening for a reason, you can’t deny that something changed when Mike came back. The spark you two once had, died many years ago. Perhaps this all happened in order for you to find someone who truly loved you. For you to have something great.

“WELL! MESSAGE HIM!” Vanya yelled, rushing to grab some popcorn for you both. You nodded your head and opened a new chat.

“Here’s to something great”.

next

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[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Ch. 19

Story summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi

Chapter Summary: After the photoshoot you and Yoongi decompress

Previous Chapter here  AN: SO FLUFFY UGH

You slunk back to the elevator and just stood there for a second. What a weird day. You pulled out your phone to double check your work schedule and saw a message from Yoongi.

YG: I ordered pizza.

You smiled. 

YN: Oh yeah? Did you order enough to share? 

YG: *Eyeroll* 

YN: :D Where is this food? Apartment? Studio?

YG: Apartment. Photoshoots wear me out.

You pushed the button for the 18th floor. Other people got on and off as you made your way there; it was the end of the work day for most of the hourly staff. You finally arrived at your stop and headed left.

You opened the door and took off your shoes, immediately noticing the delicious odor of bread and hot cheese filling the air. You had been running around all day and just now realized, other than a few carrots, you hadn't eaten today. 

"Oh my God thank you so much." You declared as you walked into the kitchen. You eyed the box sitting on the counter and looked around for Yoongi. “Helllooooooo?”

“Good. I’m starving.” You saw him rise up like a reanimated corpse from the couch.

“You didn’t have to wait on me.” You reprimanded, even though you thought it was incredibly thoughtful. Yoongi just shrugged and walked into the kitchen.

You opened the box and handed him a plate. 

“I have no idea if you ‘ll like this.” He said as he took some pieces.

“I like food. My favorite food is the food in front of me.” You took the plate over to the table, going back for some water.

Yoongi followed suit, quieter than normal. 

“You ok?” You asked.

“Yeah, just tired. Photoshoots take so much more energy.” He collapsed down into the chair. 

The air was filled for silence for several minutes as the two of you stuffed your faces. Finally, you worked up the nerve to ask, “Sooooooo…...did you know Bongcha was asking you out or are you oblivious?”

Yoongi looked up, shaking the bangs out of his face. “I knew. But what should I say to her? "No I don’t want to go out with you" and ruin her day? Upset her at work? It would make things awkward for both of us. Nah. Just request another stylist for a few months.” 

You pursed your lips together in thought. “Why not just date her though? She’s cute. You guys get along. Why go through this whole elaborate contract scenario?” You gestured to yourself.

Yoongi sighed. Ugh he had been dreading you asking him about the contract. Things had been going so normal. He thought, stupidly, maybe he could just never think about it again. Of course with Namjoon and BPD up his ass he knew that was unlikely. He realized he had been quiet for too long.  “Look, If I actually dated someone I worked with and then it didn't work out, imagine the fallout. The scandal. The wasted time. Plus then I'd have to go on dates and stuff. I'm busy.”  

You rolled your eyes "We went to a diner the other night. And the grocery store." 

Yoongi blinked his eyes and stuffed more food in his mouth. “Not dates.”

You scowled. "You spent all Sunday driving a van and putting up with my family'

Yoongi chewed, taking as much time as possible to think of a response. “Yeah but I did that because I wanted to."

You rolled your eyes, “You're a weirdo "

"Says the girl who signed a contract to marry a guy she didn't know. And who doesn’t eat their pizza crust. Are you 5 years old?"

"Crust is gross. Anyways. I'm a very good judge of character, I will have you know." You pouted at having been admonished over your crust preferences.

"That's true. You could tell Namjoon was an asshole within 30 seconds I bet." He jested. 

"Haha yeah. I could tell he was  rich and full of himself by his demeanor and then when he opened his mouth, he confirmed the asshole part. And, I knew Alice was awesome within like 2 seconds.” 

Yoongi pushed his plate over a bit and interlaced his fingers. Resting his chin on them, he asked, “OK. So what was your first impression of me?” 

You laughed as you recalled sprinting in your work clothes.  “That you were busy. Very busy. And a little bit short on patience, but I thought that's because you were in a hurry.” 

“Sounds about right.” He took a sip of his water. 

“The second time I met you, you were putting on an act for Namjoon. Still not sure why... " You eyed him suspiciously. “You guys have a fucked up dynamic "

"You are right all-around there. Cheers." He lifted his glass in your direction."You did a great job today."

You scoffed, "I literally just pointed at things and handed you stuff.”

“Hey I've been to shoots before, you haven't. Today went much smoother than usual. “

“Really?” You rocked back in your seat.

“Yep.” He stood up and extended his hand." Do you want more? "

"Yes please. Thanks again for ordering. I didn't realize how hungry I was til I got home.” 

“‘Same.” He took the plates to the kitchen and returned with more food. Sitting them down on the table. He pulled his laptop over and looked over some things as you guys sat in silence for a few minutes. You scrolled through your phone, returning some texts from Jimin and your brother. 

"Do you want to go watch something?" he asked, taking you by surprise. 

You raised your eyebrows, “You're not going to work?" 

"I told you, photoshoots wear me out. I'm done for today."

"Yeah sure," you stood up and grabbed the plates. "I'll clean up the leftovers and get changed. Pick whatever."

You travelled up to the loft area about ten minutes later, much more comfortable in your leggings and oversized sweatshirt. 

Yoongi was waiting on the couch, the remote in his hand as he scrolled through the menu. You plopped down on the other end, covering your mouth as you yawned.

“Grab a pillow. You know you’re going to fall asleep.” He said without looking over.

“No I won’t,” You protested through another yawn.

He shot you a look that told you he knew you were full of shit and got up. He returned a minute later, throwing a pillow at the back of your head.

“Hey.”

“You’re welcome.” He sat back down, adjusting himself into a comfortable position.

You grumbled a thank you as you balled the pillow into a couch-compatible shape and leaned up against it. You pulled back for a second. It smelled just like Yoongi. This was his pillow. You looked over, his eyes were still scanning the screen.

“Since you’re going to fall asleep in ten minutes I’m putting on my favorite documentary.” He said matter-of factly.

“I will last more than ten minutes.” You declared. You heard a small snort come out of his mouth as he dimmed the lights and pressed play. You started to watch the movie and tried to pay attention, but your heartbeat was racing. You kept replaying earlier conversations in your head and also smelling the pillow. You felt like a pervert. The man across the couch was completely oblivious. You stared at him for a few seconds and realized that yes, you did like him. Well Shit. You didn’t have too much time to ruminate on this as your eyelids began to grow heavy. Soon you were passed out, just as Yoongi predicted.

Ten minutes into the NBA show he looked over, a knowing smile crept onto his face. You were out.

He took a deep breath. What the fuck was he doing? He tried not to think about it too much. Every time he thought about you and the contract it left him feeling weird. The thought that you were getting paid to like him and to hang out with him, didn’t sit well at all. But he knew there was so much more to it than that. He picked up his notepad and wrote a few lyrics, the movie playing for background noise at this point. 

After several minutes he looked at his writing. Satisfied, he stood up and slipped the notebook into a desk. He didn’t think you would snoop, but better safe than sorry. He looked back at the couch and smirked. He thought it was hilarious you thought you would stay awake when he knew better. He went over to the stuffed animal line and pulled out a Snorlax. Appropriate, he thought as he sat it down on top of your side. He snapped a picture. Sweet revenge. Stretching, he decided to head to bed himself; only slightly lamenting that he had given you his favorite pillow and now he would have to use the flatter one. NEXT CHAPTER

@lidda  @anpanman-sonyeondan   @firefairy1  @cuteipat  @sugaslittlekookies  @janeelizabeth1216 @deeepvibes @gxldenhunny @livelyjay @niniita-ah @bobbyboops @honeysunandsoil @deathkat657 @min-yus​ @or-worse-expelled7​

[relenafanel]

Dicks (in every definition): a fake-relationship AU

Geralt/Jaskier

Find it on Ao3:  Dicks (in every definition) by relenafanel

FOR THE MODERN AU CHALLENGE. WEEK 1: Fake-Relationships

Tag: witcherauseptember

________

“I can’t believe anyone could be such an unmitigated puss-filled dick,” Essi said, staring at her phone in disbelief. Jaskier groaned and let his head thunk on the bar.

“I can.” His sticky forehead was the least disgusting part of the evening.  He'd just come out to forget his ex, and maybe celebrate being free a little (as fucked up as that was) and quite frankly felt attacked by his social media.

“If I believed it from anyone it would be that narcissist,” she conceded, biting on her lip.

“I know,” Jaskier agreed. “That’s the worst part. I feel like it’s my fault being blindsided by this, as though I should have known something was going to happen today.”

Essi snorted. “It’s not your fault your ex is the worst.”

“No, but I was with him for almost 3 years. I don’t know. That’s my fault.”

“Don’t be stupid,” she said. “Look at this desperate fucker. Do you actually think he’s winning? He might be in a new relationship but the look of this guy makes my vagina want to shrivel up and die.”

Jaskier took her phone from her and looked again. Yeah. Yikes. Valdo was definitely scraping the bottom of the barrel with that one. Jaskier hadn’t even tried to join any dating sites post-breakup, but he was pretty sure there were better options. It wasn’t even the guy’s looks so much as he just screamed skeevy douchebag. It was making Jaskier’s metaphorical vagina also want to die.

“You need to get drunk. Maybe laid.”

“No,” Jaskier said, an idea starting to form as he looked at the relationship status change. “No. I need to match pettiness with pettiness. I need to find someone so hot that I’d have trouble getting him - let alone Valdo with his sad, small dick - and make sure to post a picture on Facebook.”

“Would that make you feel better?”

Jaskier smiled with teeth. “I think it would.”

***

It was their third bar of the evening and Essi was definitely sick of the manhunt. She probably hadn’t realized that when Jaskier was judging men fully objectively and not looking for matching personalities (relationship goals) or a willing body (one night stand goals) he had incredibly discerning tastes.

Probably too discerning.

“How about him?” Essi asked, barely looking up from her phone. She gestured to a guy sitting at the bar trying to make eye contact with a woman across the room.

“Ehh,” Jaskier said. “Sweater vest.”

Essi rolled her eyes. “But cute.”

“I’m not looking for cute. I’m looking for eye-searing hot.”

“I’m having trouble remembering how you’ve ever been in any relationships with these unrealistic expectations.”

“Valdo thought I was hot.” Jaskier thought about that for a moment. “Did I stay with someone for three years out of flattery?”

“Probably. Fuck. Get therapy.”

“I am.”

“You’re going to be working on tonight for a while.”

Fucking true. “Oh god, we just saw Valdo’s taste in men. Tell me true… am I ugly.”

“You’re spiraling.”

“That’s not an answer!”

“You’re spiraling!”

“Yes,” Jaskier agreed, pulling at his hair. “I’m so aware.”

“Based on the guy in his status update I’m going to guess you’re the hottest guy he could get.”

“You’re a good friend.” Jaskier pressed his head against her shoulder.

Then, a table opened up across the room, revealing the man sitting on the other side of it. “Holy shit.”

Essi looked up. Then she looked up. “Wow.”

“I hope he’s into men,” Jaskier said. “Or at least willing to play along with pretending to be for long enough for you to get a picture.”

“You’re going to walk up to that?” Essi asked. “You have more balls than brains.”

That was probably true.

***

“Hi, I’m Jaskier,” he opened with, dropping into the seat across from the gorgeous man. Up close he was even more startlingly pretty, with a chin dimple that highlighted his strong jaw and drew attention to his mouth. “And my boyfriend broke up with me two months ago, only to post his new relationship on Facebook today. Our three year anniversary. It’s the dickest of moves, right?”

The man hummed in agreement, but otherwise didn’t stop frowning in Jaskier’s general direction. Like someone waiting for him to get to the point. Jaskier saw that frown often.

“The reason for the oversharing is that I just forced my best friend to follow me to three different bars to find someone so phenomenally hot for me to spend time with and get picture proof, and here you are. I’d do jazz hands but you don’t seem like someone who responds well to jazz hands.”

“What are jazz hands?”

Whoa.

What a voice. What a sexy, sexy voice. Jaskier knew what he was talking about. He was a connoisseur of voices.

Jaskier wiggled his fingers at him. Tada! “Jazz hands.”

“Huh.” The man took a drink of his beer. “You want to use me as a revenge plot?”

“Exactly. Can I buy you a drink?”

The man gestured to his mostly full beer. “I’m not drinking to get drunk tonight.”

That was only a no to the beer. “Nachos or some other foodstuff?”

The guy seemed possibly interested in food.  

“Fine,” he agreed.  

****

Facebook: Julian Alfred Pankratz is in a relationship with Geralt of Rivia.

“Who’s Julian Pankratz?” Geralt muttered, staring at his phone.

“What?” Jaskier groaned, coming out a shitty sleep to a few realizations:

He’d gone home with the hottest guy on earth, which he should be pleased about, AND WAS PLEASED ABOUT

He might throw up

He’d done something last night. Something he’d said “that’s up for tomorrow Jaskier to sort out” because his drunk self was apparently a fucking masochist, and now Jaskier wasn’t really sure what that was.

Only Geralt was still scowling at his phone and seemed to know his real name.

So.

“Fuck,” Jaskier groaned. His mouth tasted like nachos and the regret of doing shots too late in life. He was 28 years old, not dead, but his hangover didn’t seem to know that.  “We didn’t get married , did we?”

“...”

Jaskier risked the light filtering in through the edges of the blinds to look at Geralt. His hair was beyond mussed - Jaskier didn’t know hair could get that tangled overnight. He was still frowning at his phone.

“I’ve been calling you Jaskier.”

“I go by Jaskier,” he promised. He was too busy having his own crises to deal with Geralt’s! For fucksakes. “Now, back to the marriage thing??”

“No.”

Phew. That was probably on him. He wasn’t sure people could actually get fake married overnight. Legally. He’d seen a lot of movies, though.

Ok. Next problem.  “I might throw up.”

Geralt turned his head slowly to look at him. Yikes. Too much beautiful-man-face in his face for this early in the morning.

“It’s eleven,” Geralt told him in the dry tone that told Jaskier he’d said that all outloud.

“Eleven after getting to bed at what? Five? Eugh, boo. Do you have any food?”

***

Geralt did have food.

Well, Geralt had protein bars and electrolytes, which was basically the same thing. Jaskier could always fall on top of a burger on his way home if he had to.  He’d finally looked at his phone by the time he was halfway through his breakfast.

107 new notifications.

What the fuck?

Julian Alfred Pankratz is in a relationship with Geralt of Rivia

Geralt and I were going to wait until announcing this wasn’t an asshole move, but now that it doesn’t really matter, I just wanted everyone to know that I’m doing GREAT.

Attached to it was the picture of the two of them together that Essi had taken with the caption of “I wouldn’t feel too sorry for Jaskier tonight”

His drunk self had a lot to answer for. No wonder Geralt had been scowling at his phone.

“I can’t believe I went Facebook Official with someone I haven’t even had sex with yet,” Jaskier mourned. “What is it, 2007?”

***

It took Jaskier almost the full day to recover enough to actually look through his comments on Facebook. By the time he had, they’d almost doubled and he’d made the mistake of clicking into Instagram to find one of those quintessential happy-relationship-our-feet-are-cute-together bullshit pictures. He had a different following on Instagram, mostly using it for pictures of himself singing.

Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. This wasn’t a contained problem, if you could call their mutual friends and families on Facebook that had been gathering in the wings for 15 years a contained problem . Fucking Facebook. Jaskier friended people he’d met once. He had a database of acquaintances. It was great for - you know - being a musician looking for gigs. He’d done 15 weddings in the last year.

It was pretty shitty when he’d faked having a boyfriend so people wouldn’t feel bad for him.

But, as he read through the comments and realized that some of them weren’t for him, he realized that maybe he wasn’t the one with the biggest problem.

Jaskier: Did you just come out?

Jaskier: Are you EVEN INTO MEN?

Jaskier: I REMEMBER YOU THINKING THIS WAS FUNNY AND AGREEING TO IT

Jaskier: BUT

Jaskier: I REGRET COMMITTING TO CAPS SO SOON BECAUSE I MEAN THIS IN CAPS AND BOLDED

Jaskier: WHOEVER LAMBERT IS JUST CONGRATULATED YOU ON FINALLY GETTING DICKED DOWN BECAUSE IT MIGHT MAKE YOU LESS GRUMPY

Geralt: I see you’ve read the comments

Geralt: my brother

Jaskier: YOUR BROTHER?!

Geralt: bold and caps?

Jaskier: and italics what the fuck. Why’d you let me do this?

Jaskier: wait.

Jaskier: WAIT

Geralt: there it is

Jaskier: this was your idea

Jaskier: did you use me to tell everyone you know that you’re gay or bi or whatever you identify as?

Jaskier: what a brilliant opportunity last night was for both of us

Geralt: you went back to sleep and didn’t process any of this yet, didn’t you?

Jaskier had been seen with that, fuck. He made a face at his phone even though Geralt couldn't see it.

A few moments later a response to Lambert popped up from Geralt himself.

@Lambert who says I haven’t been getting dicked down this entire time you heteronormative asshole

Followed by someone named Yennefer posting a picture of a strap on.

Who were these people? Could you love someone based on how their friends reacted to their ill-advised fake-relationship status change? Asking for a friend.

Geralt: for context, that’s my ex-wife

Geralt: we’re ok

Geralt: especially when she’s helping me fuck with my brother

***

Jaskier was debating the merits of asking Geralt if he wanted to come up with a break-up plan or just date when another comment showed up.

Vesemir left a comment:

You’ll bring him to brunch tomorrow?

Geralt left a comment:

We’ll be there

Vesemir left a comment:

Leave the frightening device at home

Geralt left a comment:

He doesn’t need it

This was followed by a string of variations of LOL and OH SHITs from about 7 different people. Jaskier watched it all unfold feeling like he’d stepped into the middle of something he didn’t understand - yet. He was definitely in trouble, if the way his heart rate increased at Geralt’s he doesn’t need it was any indication. It wasn’t even the dick reference, though that was amazing. It was the snappy, quick response. The underlying sarcasm.

Jaskier had a type. He could end a fake relationship that was based on seeing a searing hot guy across a room, but it was a bit harder when the guy had a personality he liked. If Geralt turned out to have a heart of gold, Jaskier was screwed and would probably be proposing marriage by year’s end.

Yeah, we’ll be there , he commented.

Geralt: my dad

Geralt: thanks

Jaskier: no problem

Jaskier : gonna call

“So I’m thinking,” Jaskier said the moment Geralt’s face showed up on the video call. He was squinting at his phone like no one had ever tried to video call him before.

“Hi,” Geralt replied, looking amused.

“I’ve been debating the merits of planning a breakup for our fake relationship or just… dating? I’m thinking maybe we should date? Do you have input?”

“Dating’s fine.”

“But do you… are you even attracted to me? Would you pick me?”

Oh fuck, what was that?! Something new to bring up in therapy.

Geralt tilted his head.  “You don’t know this about me yet, but I’m capable of saying no. Overly capable, some of my family might tell you.”

“So you’re not saying no?”

“I’m pretty confident I said yes instead.”

***

“As Jaskier’s best friend and the only witness,” Essi said into the microphone, holding up a glass of champagne to salute the two of them. “Our happy couple gave me full permission to tell the story of what happened the night Geralt and Jaskier met. Like Jaskier himself, the story is partially an embarrassing tale of bad decisions, half-cocked plans, and a lot of heart.”

Jaskier grinned, and nudged his shoulder into Geralt’s.

“And,” Essi continued with glee, “dicks in every definition.”

[ccelinewritess]

say love—draco malfoy

pairing - (hufflepuff! reader) draco malfoy x reader, cedric diggory x reader

word count- 4.3k

warnings- cheating? toxic relationships? curse words? my lack of diverse grammar? spelling? not heavily revised? yes this has it allll.

quick note: cho, the reader, and draco are all in the fifth year, cedric is two years older (cause idfc what villain i make this boy out to be he is not dead) anyways ilu and hope you are well. here we go.

-

y/n was sweet, kind, compassionate, gorgeous and smart, so when she caught the eye of cedric diggory a year earlier he made it his personal mission to get her to go out with him, even on one date.

when she finally caved in they went on one date. then a second, a second turned into a third. he asked her out officially, she met his parents, you know how the story goes. well perhaps not, and there was no happily ever after with cedric. certainly not as hot tears ran down her cheeks as she watched her boyfriend of a year, hand caressing her face, kissing cho chang like a moth to a flame, hungry for more. prefects duties my ass- she thought as her pure devastation dragged her away from the scene, her original presence going unnoticed. anger was boiling through her blood and she lost track of where she was going, until she ended up in the library somehow. y/n loved reading and spent countless hours in the room, and she certainly didn’t want to be in the common room when her not-so-loyal boyfriend would be returning shortly enough. so instead she shrunk down, back against a bookcase, knees tucked into arms, and let the sadness and confusion take over. she didn’t even hear the library doors open once again over her sobs.

the last thing draco malfoy expected to see that night in the library while grabbing a book was the friendly hufflepuff girl y/n. and especially not with tear stained cheeks and glossy eyes. draco would never tell her, but he was always captivated by her, she was to kind and trusting for her own good.

“er- im sorry for uh- interrupting” his voice startled her at first.

“no im sorry” she said wiping her tears. “i should be in my common room, not crying like a child in the library.”

when he sat down next to her it was nice, he wasn’t too close but the company was enjoyable, even if it was temporary. “well I know we aren’t friends, like at all, but if you’d like to talk about whatever is making you cry in the library at one in the morning, im not a bad listener”

she wasn’t even considering talking to draco. not in the slightest, but she didn’t have anyone else to talk to. she couldn’t talk to her parents, they would fly out to hogwarts and personally hex the boy. and she had spent so much time hanging out with cedric that she didn’t have any other close friends she could talk to. maybe talking to a stranger would be best. draco found it quite cute that she hadn’t noticed she had zoned out, but before he got to admire her more she looked back up at him “fine”

“you need to understand that i am still confused, completely.” that’s how it started. she told him about how cedric lied about where he was, and how she went to surprise him, and how when she turned the corner she saw him and cho, practically swallowing eachothers faces. at some point in her story draco opened his arms and she fell into them, tears still sliding down from her eyes. she did find this odd at first, of all the reputations draco held, hugger was not one.

by the times she cried all the tears she could, draco walked her back to the common room. as he pulled her back into another hug he whispered in her ear “meet me in the courtyard before breakfast?” she could only muffle a response into his sweater. as they released themselves from eachother a minute later, she watched him walk away down further into the dungeon. it took her mere seconds to fall asleep that night.

-

when she saw the blonde boy the next morning alone in the almost empty courtyard, she made her way over to him, as fast as her legs could carry her without running. he looked happy to see her, but she didn’t wait to get to the point.

“about last night, you haven’t told anyone yet have you? it’s just that id like to hear what happened from cedric before people find out.”

“ofcourse not love. im a slytherin, not an asshole. speaking of cedric you need to break up with him.” he was hesitant with both the nickname and the proposition, considering that before last night they had practically never spoken.

it was now her turn to be hesitant. “but what if she kissed him though, you know, maybe it’s all a big misunderstanding” y/n was always looking for the best in people, but maybe cheating was cedrics best, she hated to think it.

“y/n! you saw him kiss her back didn’t you? there was no denial from cedrics side right? i know you look for the positives but sometimes it’s not a shame to realize not everyone’s perfect. and you deserve someone who values you” it was harsh in a way, but true. he continued to encourage her until she realized if she didn’t now, cedric would continue to go on these midnight strolls, faking prefect duties and kissing other girls.

when she entered the great hall she immediately stormed over to cedric, who was in deep conversation with his friends. when she butted in to ask if she could speak to him the emotions of the night before threatened to arise within her again. dracos words floated in her head. maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing, even the hogwarts “it” boy had flaws. he was insecure which led to jealousy, he could sometimes be insensitive, and the newest to the collection, he was a cheater. and he sure as hell wasnt going to admit to it if she asked.

once he finally acknowledged her presence with a smile she began.

“cedric, may i speak to you, alone” she glanced at his friends at the last word.

“just say it aloud, im sure the boys don’t mind” he really didn’t know what was coming.

“im not sure you want me to talk about this with your friend around”

“come on darling”

well here goes nothing.

“if you say so. we’re over. don’t try to defend yourself and act all innocent cause I know a lot more than you think. just a tip in the future if you want to have a successful relationship do not go make out with other girls in the middle of the night in random corridors, or at least breakup with your girlfriend first. asshole” y/n was sweating and cedric was pale and speechless.

y/n’s rant had gathered many eyes from across the room. as she walked back towards draco who was waiting at the end of the aisle he couldn’t help but smile and whisper “you are a baddass, come eat at slytherin, then?” when they got across the room, people were confused but no one would ever say no to draco or his friends. blaise zabani seem unbothered at her presence but kind nonetheless, pansy on the other hand, jealous that dracos eyes were for once not on her.

-

over the next few weeks a friendship began to grow between y/n l/n and draco malfoy. they were sitting together in classes, studying together, eating meals at eachothers tables and all around enjoying eachothers company. little did y/n know that as the seasons changed, so did dracos feelings for her. she was so undeniably amazing in every way imaginable, something draco had never came across in his life.

on this particular evening they were walking around the black lake on the cool evening with the pink and orange sky on the horizon. deep conversations were common between the pair and tonight was no exception. “do you still love him?” the question shocked her at first, and she thought deeply about her answer before responding. “i don’t know honestly, a part of me probably still does. and it’s not like I’ve never had things not work before, but how people leave always stays. i hate to say it, but a part of me wants revenge. i just want him to feel some sort of pain, even just jealousy as dark and twisted as that is.” a comfortable silence fell once again before he broke it after a few minutes. “it’s not as dark as you might think, actually. and if you want him to feel jealous i have an idea that could benefit us both you just need to be open minded.”

draco malfoy wanted her to do what?

“what does fake dating even mean? how do you even do that” she questioned

“i mean just convince people we are dating, cedric will be jealous and it will get pansy of my back for two minutes. all you’d have to do is hold my hand, wear my scarf, come to my quidditch games and parties with me, anything else” he asked

“we could probably go to hogsmeade togther, cedric will be fuming, thank you draco” she said before kissing his cheek making his face go a brilliant red.

yet again draco had her doing things she wouldn’t do in a thousand years, but maybe she needed a change. plus he seemed to have this quite planned out and there was no harm in trying. “if you really think this could work, then fine, I’ll do it.”

draco would never admit it, but he was embarrassingly excited that she agreed.

-

the next morning their hopefully “master” plan would begin, but that night for the first time in a long time, draco couldn’t sleep whatsoever. he tried counting sheep, drinking tea, every sleeping position and yet he couldn’t get y/n out of his mind. she was so pretty, and smart, and kind. he had trouble even imagining what kind of delusional cedric was to let her go. if she was his- and not fake his, he would do everything to keep her happy and never see her like he did in the library only three weeks ago. in the end, she was just a rose in the hands who had no intention of keeping her. after even more attempts, he finally drifted off into a deep, and dreamless sleep.

-

once y/n finally got enough motivation to roll her self out of bed for the last day of classes before the weekend the conversation from the night before entered her brain. was this going to work? everything that could possibly go wrong played over and over again. what if cedric never got jealous? would they be forty and still fake dating? she thankfully got out of her head when she saw draco waiting for her outside the hufflepuff common room. “well good morning love” he said before placing a ginger kiss to her forehead, no one was around to watch, and she didn’t recall that being in the verbal agreement, but to be completely honest, it was nice.

they were both nervous and for different reasons. draco knew better than anyone that if word of this so called relationship to his parents, they would flip. everyone knew the malfoy’s had very strong morals and were extremely racist, and no matter how much he liked her, they would never approve of the halfblood hufflepuff. y/n knew pansy would be up her ass, and there was no guarantee that this would work, she also wasn’t huge on attention, and this was not exactly going to make her any less of a subject around the hogwarts grounds.

speaking of hogwarts, was the walk from hufflepuff to the great hall that long? was her hand sweating or was she imagining it? dracos long fingers were intertwined with hers and they talked about everything and nothing as they made there way to breakfast.

once they arrived, few heads turned, as many were still engaged in conversation, much to the satisfaction of y/n. dracos green eyes immediately made harsh contact with cedrics grey eyes and they made their way to the slytherin table, where pansy’ dirty glares would go unnoticed y/n.

the day trudged along slowly. in the classes with draco they sat together, he picked her up from the rest, walking her to her next. eating lunch and dinner at his table, showing pda at any given time, even when cedric wasn’t anywhere around.

when y/n were dismissed from herbology at the end of the day she wasted no time getting back the hufflepuff common room starting on her potions essay. in a wave of exhilaration the puffs already in the common room rushed out, she was confused but followed them out anyways, unopened books in arms.

-

y/n wasn’t tall, so she struggled to see passed the crowd. finally reaching the inner layer of the circle she saw what was likely destined to happen. cedric was buffing out his chest, trying to close in on draco, despite them not being far in height whatsoever. the boys muttering to eachother went unheard after the shrill voice of professor sprout broke out. “what do you boys think your doing, everyone return to your common rooms” she said before going into a small lecture with the boys more quietly. people filed out of the corridor behind her in every direction. and once the raft of sprout had finished, and cedric had stormed off to god knows where, draco engulfed the girl in a warm hug, almost knocking them over.

that night she did her homework in the slyerthin common room, on the lap of her boyfriend, fake boyfriend- she reminded herself, it was only the first day but it was so easy to be with him.

“he’s lucky sprout showed up, he kept acting as though he was superior to me, the dumbass couldn’t beat me in a duel in a million years, I’ll show him in the quidditch match tomorrow”

“is that tomorrow already?” she sighed before continuing “well I’ll be cheering for you, draco”

“id hope, love, also how do you feel about wearing green?”

-

the green scarf actually complimented her features nicely, much to her surprise. the match started in seven minutes, and if y/n wanted to make it on time she had to leave now.

the last few weeks were cold, yes, but this was the first snowfall of the year, fluffy snow was settling on the ground and castle, like a beautiful painting. the con? the snow was also making it difficult to see, almost guaranteeing a long match. right as she sat down next to some fellow fifth years the whistle blew. dracos green scarve made her stand out in the land of bagders, recieving some questioning.

“your dating him? but he’s a slytherin?”

“and an smart, handsome, kind one at that, so I’m going to get back to the game, if that’s okay with you.”

the game was the most eventful of the year due to the multiple dirty fakeouts between the seekers. this was less a slytherin vs hufflepuff thing to y/n and more of a draco vs cedric. ofcourse she loved her house, but there was no way she wanted cedric to win now, after the cheating and lying. that thought was mutual but unshared between her and draco. and the cold wasn’t making anyone want to stay out there for much longer, despite the excitement. while cedric was trying to trick draco once more draco saw the real snitch, where cedric was only moments before. rushing towards it, arm reached out, he could almost grab it. almost. almost. almost. yes. the small snitch was clutched tightly in his palm, cedric still clueless, zooming around, not noticing his attempts had failed him miserably.

ravenclaws and slyertherins alike were running onto the field, y/n somewhere amongst them. in no time draco was being held in the air, with those around him chanting. normally she would have been pissed that hufflepuff had lost, but the smile plastered on dracos face made it all worth it. after nemurous minutes he was put down, made his way to y/n and kissed her. he actually kissed her. in front of all those people. the chants were replaced with whistles and if anyone didn’t get the message of their “relationship” it was surely out now. his kiss was sweet and soft, and ended much before she was ready to. “honey you look dashing in green”

the party in slyerthin that night was like nothing she had ever been to before. music was blasting, house elves had made food and drinks of all sorts and y/n was cuddled into the arms of draco on the sofa, in his jumper and joggers. occasionally people would come congratulate him, and even pansy had the audacity to come try to flirt with him, that was until he shooed her off.

as the festivities continued into the night, y/n fell asleep right there, in her fake boyfriends arms- who, she would never admit, she was catching feelings for. she didn’t know much, but she did know that she was not ready to get hurt again anytime soon. they had spent the last hours together talking about random deep topics, their biggest fears and insecurities as those around them danced to the rhythm of the music. draco struggled to even think someone as perfect as y/n would have insecurities, but she did. eventually he picked her up bridal style and carried to his dormitory. he couldn’t exactly settle easy, the girl he liked was sleeping in his bed, so once he confirmed that she was infact asleep he let it off his chest.

“in case you didn’t know- im crazy about you, since i found you in the library that night.” he was whispering as soft as he could

“i haven’t told you any of this because i know your still healing but god im in love with you”

he too fell asleep that night, limbs tangled with hers.

the sun hit her face from his window that morning, bright as ever, highlighting her beautiful features and draco couldn’t help but admire her beauty. for numerous minutes he laid there, staring until she woke from her own dreams.

-

cedrics next attemp at payback for draco was just as low as the first. he followed draco towards the dungeons one afternoon when y/n wasn’t in his presenceand tried to fight him right there, outside the slyerthin common room.

“draco what do you even want with her?” he was practically grumbling

“you really don’t know what you had? did you? also she’s my girlfriend now, so what do you want with her?” draco spat back, emphasizing the you.

unlucky for cedric, right after he threw the first punch, which draco dodged successfully, snape came out and gave cedric two weeks detention.

“whatever, ill get her back” cedric said fast before heading towards the hufflepuff common room. draco wasn’t too sure of that, he had fallen desperately for the girl and would do whatever he could to keep her, and keep her away from cedric.

-

they were on there daily evening stroll around the grounds, much like the one that the original idea was pitched during only a handful of weeks ago, fingers intertwined. partially because it is cold, partially because they wanted to. draco could tell that y/n was deep in thought and originally wasn’t going to ask her, but he couldn’t help himself.

“what are you thinking about?” he said quietly but loud enough for her to hear

“im feeling kind of stupid honestly. i mean it was all there, the prefect patrols on days i could have sworn weren’t his. the glances across the hall to her, god even the tutoring in the classes he was doing amazing and needed no help in.”

he could tell this was making her upset and so he racked his brain for the right thing to say, but before he could find anything she started again.

“I’m also quite mad at myself, i mean i know all relationships are flawed but looking back ours was pretty fucked up. i started dating him in our third year, and i was still very insecure and didn’t exactly love myself. i spent a lot of time worrying about things I had no control over, and he wasn’t a help in the slightest. he’d flirt with other girls all the time but one boy would look at me for a second longer than he’d liked and he’d be confronting them. I don’t know if I really loved him, or if i was just in pain but whatever it was it was horrible.” tears were threatening her eyes but not yet approaching them.

“im sorry y/n. you are amazing and beautiful, smart and kind and your sure as hell don’t deserve that, if you want to talk about it ever please ask me” he would add on to that, if they were dating- and for real he wouldn’t treat her any less than the princess he considered her to be. he pulled her into a big hug before they walked back up into the beautiful castle.

-

they hadn’t heard from cedric in weeks, mission accomplished right? well no.

being completely honest, y/n didn’t know how much longer she would be able to participate without feelings boiling over. y/n didn’t even know where it came from, and there was no denying it, she was head over heels for the slytherin prince. she didn’t know when, maybe at the quidditch game? when he gave hugged her after sprout gave cedric punishment after draco stood up for her? she too wasn’t sure.

-

the morning of the hogsmeade trip, snow was falling once again, replacing the already existing layer on the ground. leaving hufflepuff, she couldn’t help but smile when she saw the blonde haired boy by the barrels waiting for her.

walking arm-in-arm to the small village, y/ns teeth almost chattering when draco lended his green scarf to the girl yet again.

“when i said you looked good in green at the match, i wasn’t joking, you should wear it more often”

draco loved the way she looked with her pink tinted nose and cheeks. and before he knew it they were in the three broomsticks drinking butterbeer, talking about god knows what.

that was until draco decided to come clean about his feelings.

“y/n youre probably not ready to hear this, and i will wait as long as you need me to. but i just can’t take it anymore. ive been crazy about you since we started being friends and- whatever this is, three and a half months ago. and if you’d like id love to go out with you- and not as a jealousy scheme”

the cold was no longer able to mask the blush on her cheeks and she told him everything she’d been hiding. thankfully. if she hadn’t he would have lost the best thing in his life. she knew his family wasn’t exactly the lovey dovey type, and his friends could be cold, they had eachother and they didn’t need much more than that.

once they had finished and left the warmth of the building, into the snow in the middle of the street he dragged her towards him ever so lightly using his scarf. cupping her cheeks in his hands, he kissed her as soft as ever. lasting much longer this time, there mouthes seemed to move in sync. he tasted sweet, just like the first time, and undescribable. they would kissed there in the middle of hogsmeade village for hours if their lungs didn’t need so much air. so instead they stood there forheads pressed together. eventually there hands found the others and they made their way back to the school, hearts and smiles as big as ever. 

-

draco saw her room for the first time that day, he had been in the hufflepuff common room twice, but never to her room. it was much brighter and got more sunlight. y/n had shelves full of books and many plants around the room. the wall around the window was lined with poloroids of her and her friends. he sat on her bed and wasted no time pulling her onto it with him. they fell asleep that night wrapped in eachothers arms, kissing the others face once in a while, complete with the fact that they had eachother, and for real.

the next morning they woke up at 10, thankfully they didn’t have classes, but they had still missed breakfast. fortunately y/n was not only friends with the house elves, but extraordinarily good cook. she was currently making pancakes, in dracos green jumper, his chin on her shoulder and hands on her hips.

“I cannot believe almost four months ago i started fake dating you and now your cooking breakfast in my sweater” he said practically mumbling into her cheek before kissing it, and dragging her away from the stove, to dance. right there in the middle of the kitchen, and he was suprisingly amazing at it.

-

the engines of the hogwarts express were rumbling and y/n had settled into the compartment with draco. she had owled her parents informing her she would be going to the malfoy manor for the first weeks of summer, and the nerves were filling her mind.

“what’s wrong darling” he said kindly as she leaned into his shoulder.

“im just nervous, what if they don’t like me?”

“they will, there is nothing about you that isn’t likeable. and even if they don’t like you immediately, it’s not like i could stop loving you, ever”

what? theyd never actually said the “L” word to the other- at least while they were awake. yes they had been dating for six months already but had draco ever said he loved them to anyone? it didn’t matter, she knew how she felt.

“y-you love me?”

he waited another second. “i mean, uh- er, i-i-“

“draco?” he hummed in response, still clearly embarrassed “i love you too”

————

a/n: ive never written anything, so i hope it’s okay. thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed it! stay tuned for future writing.

[stetervault]

Hey, love the blog!!! I was wondering if you had any fics where Talia is terrible to Peter and/or Stiles? I know that's a lot of fics so maybe ones where it's a notable plot point? Thanks!

Here are some I know, with various levels of bad alpha/sister/all-around person!Talia (some have her redeemable, others not so much):

IBDC: Teen Wolf by moonstalker24 --> Pretend to be dating AU Part 1 & Part 2

Peter pretends to be Stiles' boyfriend, which quickly evolves into being his actual boyfriend.

The Sphinx of Beacon Hills by Guede (Stetopher)

Stiles is a sphinx, and he’s winging his way to visit his buddy Scott when a storm drops him in Beacon Hills, the craziest, crankiest, coldest place ever. And somehow, he ends up with a bunch of werewolves.

The Other Husband by Therapeutic_Steter

Tumblr Prompt: You start working with your spouse and everyone thinks you're cheating because they don't know that's your spouse.

Home by Ragga

Don't be like him, they would say, and then add, or else you get burned.

Unable to bear the whispers any longer, This One left. He forsook those who forsook him, left him bear his scars alone, the scars he bore for his herd. It was better to be alone, stay off the currents, than swim with those most undeserving of his loyalty. So mote it be.

That is, until he met That One.

Ink Blossoms by Triangulum

"So, you're going to ruin your niece's baby shower with flowers in the wrong color?" the florist, Stiles, asks when they reach the counter. He pulls out a binder and starts flipping through it.

"Not ruin. Mildly inconvenience," Peter says.

"Right, messing with a hormonal pregnant woman seems like a great plan."

"To be fair, her fiance and the father of her baby is my ex-boyfriend," Peter says. "And we weren't broken up when they started 'dating'."

Stiles looks up at him in surprise. "And you're still getting her flowers?" he asks.

"It's under duress, I assure you," Peter says. He absolutely wouldn't be here if his alpha hadn't ordered it.

"Well, shit, yeah, let's get you some purple revenge flowers," Stiles says.

God Only Knows by katiemorag

Peter still couldn't quite believe he was being made to attend his niece's wedding, reason number one being that her fiancé was Peter's ex, who had cheated on Peter with Laura.

There's also the slight issue of his entire family refusing to believe that his boyfriend, Stiles, actually exists.

You Are so Much Better Than I Ever Knew Before by lavenderlotion

“Oh sweetheart,” Kate cooed, voice sickly sweet and obviously fake. “You didn’t think you were dating...did you?”

Stiles just stood there, still in shock and only coherent enough to shrug his shoulders. “Oh sweetie, that is just too cute. No, Der-Bear here just needed something to keep his cock warm while I was away visiting family.”

what the dust reveals by WindyRein

That one where Stiles and Peter are soulmates and there's spy-assassins and wings and other stuff.

You Just Got Ghosted! by Ragga

“What’s your name, angel?” little Stiles murmured even as his eyes fell closed, quickly losing his battle against sleep.

Stiles smiled. It was a little sad but also heavy with the knowledge that what he was doing was the right thing—heavy with the knowledge he didn’t deserve the moniker bestowed upon him.

“You can call me Mietek.”

Or the one where there's time travel, feels abound, two Stiles in one timeline, and one of them stuck somewhere between the planes of existence. Yet a ghost can still manage to save the day and get the girl. Or the wolf. Manly wolf. Because Peter.

Toothed Morality (Send Me Flowers) by rightsidethru

“The world is a dark place, moje kochanie; it is one filled with monsters, always ready to gobble you whole. Be wary of the promises they give: seal every vow with blood and bone and Name. A True Name, one that will bind them to their word.”

“But how will I know that they’re telling the truth, Matka? Couldn’t they lie…?”

“You’ll know, mały płomień.”

Send Newts by Bunnywest

The first thing Peter notices is that Talia’s smiling, and that in itself makes him suspicious. When he sees that Laura’s smiling too, his distrust intensifies. “What?” he demands? “What is it?” Talia’s smile widens as she serves him a cup of tea, made just how he likes it. “Just wondering if your new husband knows you’re such a curmudgeon in the mornings,” she says sweetly. Peter’s cup clatters against the table and the tea spreads in a puddle, ignored. “My what?” “New husband,” Laura chimes in, and then she’s wrapping her arms around Peter’s neck, and saying, “Thank you, Uncle Peter,” and hugging him tight, and the memory of last night tugs at him again. What happened again, exactly?

The Various Triumphs of Mischief Bilinski by Whispering_Sumire

"Hello, Chris," sings a honeyed voice from behind.

Chris' attention snaps toward the intruder, his gun already out of its' holster and aimed at whoever it is — a boy, apparently, with braided russet hair, a red jacket, and wise eyes. He's wearing a gas mask, but Chris can tell by the way his eyes crinkle around the edges, the way sun-burnt sand swirls in his irises, that he's smiling.

Chris cocks his gun.

"You killed my father," he says.

"No offence, but he totally deserved it," the stranger agrees with cheerful solemnity.

"What the hell are you doing in my home?" Chris demands. The kid is perched on a windowsill in Chris' office, as nonchalantly as if this were something he did every day, as if they were familiar.

"I was just wondering," the kid speaks softly, fond amusement sewn through with a peculiar resignation, "how you'd feel about putting down some nazis?"

[Or: The one where Stiles goes back in time and subsequently fucks with everything.]

The Devil You Know by Triangulum

Hell is busy and Peter is understaffed. There are too many evil people being sent down below and there are only so many demons Peter has to torture them with. He needs to reorganize. They don't utilize group torture nearly as much as they should. Stiles probably has some ideas on that.

Or

Peter is King of Hell, Stiles is his second in command, and Talia summons them for a favor.

Call Me Mary Poppins by Triangulum (Stetopher)

Chris pinches the bridge of his nose and says, "You're telling me you want to fuck the nanny?"

"Don't be ridiculous, it's nothing as stereotypical as that, Christopher. This isn't porn. I want to seduce her," Peter says.

Or

A Stetopher nanny AU that wasn't really asked for.

Follow My Lead by Inell (Peter/Laura/Cora/Derek/Stiles)

Peter can’t quite figure out what’s so appealing about the young agent questioning them about his sister’s murder, but he does know that Agent Stilinski is more than he seems.

The Perceptions of You and I by lavenderlotion

“Baby, why did your secretary ask me if I was here under duress?”

Peter looks at him, blinks slowly, and then tilts his head to the side before asking, “She what?”

“She asked if you were forcing me to be here,” Stiles says, eyes flicking across the room to where said assistant is standing at the punch bowl. “She wanted to know if you were blackmailing me or threatening me.”

“She thinks you’re here under duress because Peter is such a terrifying bastard there’s no way a human Omega would be with him otherwise.”

Rent-a-Date by RebaK1tten

If Peter has to spend Christmas with his family, he's going to have a buffer. Even if he has to get him off a website.

Pissing Off The Straights by Therapeutic_Steter

platypusesrneat asked: Peter's family is alive, rich, and complete assholes. Peter can't stand them and is trying to get out of going to their stupid party. Cue Stiles saving the day!

Prayers to a Lesser God by Green

When the Hales are trapped in a house fire, Peter prays to every deity he's ever read about. Miraculously, one answers his call.

this (let's remember) by sinequanon

Peter has always done his pack's dirty work, but it's not until his sister locks him away in Eichen House that he realizes that he has other priorities.

OR

A Romeo and Juliet type story featuring less suicide and more murder.

Don't Come For His Family by lavenderlotion

In the three years Stiles had been with Peter, the man had only talked about his family a handful of times - and as far as Stiles knew had never once spoken to them. So he wasn’t exactly excited to see the mans family, even though that’s exactly what they were about to do.

It does not go to plan.

Beautiful Like Birds by Whispering_Sumire

"Stiles?" he asks, turning on the light, and Stiles looks at him- eyes wide, a flicker of utter devotion and heartbreaking joy passing his features before his whole face crumples and-

"Daddy?"

John has never seen his son like this, or maybe he has, when Claudia died, but it's different somehow, more, and terrifying because he has no idea why. He's closed half the distance between them before he even has time to think it through, but it doesn't matter because Stiles has bridged the rest and flung himself into John's arms.

He falls apart like that, holding onto John so tightly that it's hard to breathe, but he can't care about that right now because his son is sobbing and chanting "Daddy," desperately into his shoulder.

[Or, the one where Stiles goes back in time to save the world, and surprisingly, survives to tell the tale.]

We Three Can Rule The World by Whispering_Sumire (Steterek)

"Hello," he says softly, setting his fiddle down in his lap, not bothering to stand.

"Hi," Derek replies, half-gruff, then, because he should, "that was- that was beautiful but... you know this is private property, right?"

The boy throws his head back and laughs, and laughs, and laughs. The sound of it is overwhelming in its childish joy, and his eyes positively sparkle when they land on Derek again.

"Yes," he says, unashamed "I knew." Then he's standing, fiddle and bow in one hand, the other stretched out toward Derek, friendly and welcoming, "My name is Stiles."

[Or: The one where there's a fiddler, and two werewolves whose eyes flash blue, and a whole fucking world to conquer.]

The Alpha Thief by Triangulum

Something changes around the time Peter turns thirty. His wolf becomes malcontent and angry. His control, impeccable since he was a child, starts to slip, that inner rage leaking out. Talia's iron clad control over the pack chafes him. He can't explain why, but it feels like his world shifts. Pack members he's grown up with suddenly leave with barely an explanation, without a goodbye. His parents' deaths, something that occurred over five years ago, suddenly feel raw, everything after their passing he remembers feeling stilted and wrong.

Or

What if Malia's existence wasn't the memory Talia took from Peter? And what if memories weren't the only thing she stole?

[medea10]

Medea’s Worst Year of All-Time Anime/Game Superlative

Nobody saw this year coming…except for maybe Barbara Walters! Who could have predicted that this year would bless us with Australia burning, the entire west coast of the U.S. set on fire, stupid people setting fires because they wanted to reveal a baby’s gender, murder hornets, Ruth Bader Ginsburg dying, an almost war with Iran, serial killer mascots arrested, policemen killing unarmed black folks for having a counterfit $20, policemen killing unarmed black folks for breaking up a fight, policemen killing black folks for holding sandwiches, policemen killing unarmed black folks for fucking sleeping, a wide variety of “Karens” coming out of the woodworks, the end of Bojack, the end of Steven Universe, the end of Empire, and a pandemic so huge it’s killed the economy, canceled fun, and given the U.S. president the dumb-fuck idea of injecting bleach to kill the virus!?

SERIOUSLY, WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED ALL OF THIS WAS GOING TO FALL IN OUR LAPS LIKE HOT COFFEE ON THE CROTCH?!

At least there was anime this year.

…

At least there was SOME anime this year.

…

Biden won the election and Vickeblanca came out with Black Catcher this year.

Hey internet, it’s Medea here to give you her trashy opinion on this years anime and games that she’s watched or played. Because for some reason, my loser-ass loves to do out-dated as fuck memes! I shouldn’t complain, this shit brings a lot of attention to my page every year when I do this. Yes, 2020 was a complete dumpster fire so large that Domestic Girlfriend is crying foul. Many of us had to go on lockdown and ended up binge-watching the entire 957+ episodes of One Piece. I did no such thing. I am one of those “essential workers” so I didn’t hunker down for 9 months straight. But when I was home, I was watching anime. Actually, I would have done that even without the pandemic. I’m an introvert and find the human race to be deplorable.

You all know how this goes. I go over the best this year had to offer me. I had to search really hard to find the good in this year, especially in the anime world. Many things had to be put on hiatus or were delayed to a later date. Just a reminder, I don’t discriminate in what year the anime or game came out. If something came out in the happier times of 2007, that anime or game counts! Let’s get at it!

First Fandom of 2020: Interspecies Reviewers

Did anyone expect a fan-favorite of 2020 was going to be a hentai? Did anyone have on their batshit 2020 bingo card that a hentai was going to grab everybody’s attention? At the beginning of the year, my mind was set on the Railgun sequel and Eizoken. It wasn’t until licensors, streaming sites, and TV stations in Japan dropped this series that I started to pay attention. And got immediately hooked! It’s about three men going to different brothels and reviewing their time with the ladies. And these ladies are of different species! So with every bang comes possible enlightenment, new kinks, or a night of having your dick sucked off more than humanly possible. This anime blew away all of my skepticism and first impressions right out the window. Maybe it’s because I’m a degenerate and am often curious about sexual content, but this was a guilty pleasure of mine this year.

Favorite Main Character of 2020: Moroha from Yashahime

I know the majority of this story is going to revolve around Towa and Setsuna, but can we please focus a little more energy on the spunky, quarter-demon girl?! I know they’re pitting Moroha as the comic relief, but I’m hopeful that she’s going to surprise us one day. We fans of InuYasha would spend the past decade and some change wondering what InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter would be like. This year, we got our answer with Moroha. She’s got this wild side to her, probably due to the fact that she’s spent her entire life on her own. And while she’s silly at times, she can get down to business in a pinch. She has her father’s sense of smell. She has a sword. She’s able to shoot sacred arrows much like her mother. And to top it all off, she has this special rouge that if she puts it on, she’s able to unleash that ¼ demon power inside her and become Beniyasha! Yeah, I know the power only lasts a minute, she’s only 14, give her a break! I will gladly go through another week scratching my head at the confusion this story gives me if I get to see one more second of Moroha and her crazy antics or her bad-ass slaying.

Favorite Villain of 2020: The Devil Believers from Black Clover

This was one hell of a year for Black Clover. It would have been an easy choice to pick the devil and possible super devil that appeared during the elf fight. But I’d like to give a nod to the filler arc villains. And you can’t blame this group for wanting the power of the devil. They’re literally the bottom-rung of the Clover Kingdom and ones with little to no power or mana. So I can agree with why they would want the power of the devil. For one thing, they’d have more power. And for another thing, they’d be able to exact revenge on those who have wronged them. On some occasions I agree with exacting revenge and when it comes to the nobles and some characters in Black Clover, some folks do deserve death. I mean, have you met the king of the Clover Kingdom? Plus, this town and many other poorer towns get looked over by the kingdom. Peasant uprise! Anyways, I thought these people were really crafty in their crimes. I mean, they were able to knock Asta out on his ass with specially made poisons. I was actually hooked to this story of Black Clover (despite it being a filler arc). I know we’ll never see them again as they have been exiled, but it did have me semi-rooting for them.

Favorite Video Game Character of 2020: Honey from Pokemon – Sword & Shield (Expansion Pass)

Sorry Raymond from Animal Crossing!

Honey is the saucy wife of Mustard…I did not expect that to come out the way it did, but here we are! She has one hell of a team you can fight once a day. She looks out for her husband, the dojo, and the students of the dojo like they were her own children by providing food, drinks, and others. However that does come at a price as you do have to give up a sizable chunk of your watts that you collect in raid dens. I’m sure a bunch of MILF chasers were more than happy enough to give her all their hard-earned watts just so they can have their one-on-one moment on the beach with Honey.

What won me over was when that one guy from a rival dojo bad-mouthed her husband’s dojo and she…I think she kicked this guy’s ass herself. I don’t think she used any of her pokemon. Game Freak won’t show it, but we all know she kicked this guy’s ass to a point where he’s begging for mercy.

Honey, for the win!

Favorite Game of 2020: Animal Crossing New Horizons

This game was just Zen for me. I know the release of this game came with some controversy like Gamestop saying it’s an essential business and will remain open for people to get their copies of the game. Hell, I was one of those assholes in line waiting to get a copy on March 20th. Did I predict that a pandemic was going to rage out of control when I got a prepay copy of this for Christmas 2019? NO! I only predict political things, not deadly pandemics! The good news, we social distanced, didn’t catch the covid and got the game.

Anyways, this game has been a non-stop calming and fun ride. I can even forgive their botch-up of Bunny Day. They even have events for holidays I never thought they would ever touch. I mean, does anybody know when Museum Day is? Probably not until Animal Crossing had an event for it! I’ve been able to let my freak-flag fly with designing my island. And this goes way beyond New Leaf for the 3DS. I can make a sign post with the words “Fuck Trump” on it and post it in my yard. I can dig up trees and plant them elsewhere. I can poop in a toilet. I can craft furniture and put my own design on it. My furniture can have Tracey Sketchit’s beautiful mug on it. I can sit on Tracey Sketchit’s face. I am a sick fuck and I don’t care. I can give Raymond and Bob maid outfits. Magical time in my game! My hopes for next year…I don’t know, get the Festivale furniture, get Papi and Olivia to join my island, maybe visit Danny Trejo’s island, who knows, sky’s da limit!

Favorite Het Couple of 2020: Nasa and Tsukasa Yuzaki from Tonikawa

This is one of the most unorthodox marriages I’ve ever seen. But in this 90 Day Fiance world we’re living in, I shouldn’t pass judgement on these two getting married in episode one and not knowing much about each other. Nasa meets Tsukasa as he was about to be plowed by a truck. Tsukasa saves his life. Nasa says she’s beautiful. Tsukasa says she’ll be his girlfriend if they get married. He agrees. She disappears. Four years later, Tsukasa appears in front of Nasa’s front door with a marriage registration form. Congratulations buddy, you’ve got yourself a waifu! In some way, this felt like watching Yamato and Takeo from My Love Story. I was fascinated with them progressing through their relationship. The only difference is that Yamato and Takeo took the old-fashioned route. This couple did everything ass-backwards in terms of having a relationship. But I couldn’t take my eyes off Nasa and Tsukasa’s relationship during each episode. I find them cute.

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2020: Karin Asaka x Emma Verde from Love Live Nijigasaki High School Idol Club

AAAAAAAAAH! I’M IN IDOL HELL AGAIN! Yeah, no kidding! I came this close to putting Miu x Nicole from that abomination 22/7. But thank God for Love Live! There’s no telling if any of the girls from the Love Live franchise are confirmed to be lesbians. But fuck it, all of them attend all-girl schools, no males exist anywhere, and Sunshine gave us Kanan x Mari! Yeah, you know Kanan and Mari is canon as fuck, don’t at me. So naturally, I found more third-years to ship in the new Love Live series. Now I know I should have put up Ai x Rina or Ayumu x Yuu. Especially the latter due to recent events! But Emma x Karin is my OTP.

Now Emma is an exchange student from Switzerland and in coming to Nijigasaki, she first meets Karin and they became instant friends. When Emma said she wants to become an idol, Karin helped her quite a bit. Even though Karin had no interest in being an idol as her modeling career is starting up, Karin would occasionally help Emma out. And surprise, surprise, Karin ends up fascinated with the idol world and Emma helps her come to the light to be herself there. Okay, I’m totally reading this in some fragmented way, but I’m currently playing Love Live School Idol Festival All Stars and the app game has a lot more stuff involving stuff the anime has yet to talk about. Confirmed or not, Karin x Emma for the win!

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2020: Eiji Okumura x Ash Lynx from Banana Fish

It took me a while to get here, but I finally made it to 2018’s overlooked gem. Forgive me for not being fully caught up, but from what I’m watching at the moment, I’m sticking to my guns and supporting the hell out of this. I mean, I could have mentioned The Titan’s Bride here…but fuck no, I ain’t goin’ down that mess! Ash has gone through a lot, I mean a helluva lot in his past. His cute boy looks have made him a target on the streets of New York, with mafia dons, and with prison inmates. But dude can kill if you mess with him. Then you have Eiji, who is just a literal example of a “pure cinnamon roll (until episode 8)”. These two are as opposite as you can possibly get. Ash is from New York and Eiji is from Japan. Ash likes hot dogs with everything on it. Eiji likes grilled fish and natto. Ash spent the majority of his life killing on the streets. Eiji was a track superstar. You get my meaning. But when we got these two together it’s quite adorable. Ash is really able to change when he’s around Eiji. Ash isn’t some heartless killer on the street about to kill a thug with prosthetic fingers. When he’s with Eiji, he’s a joker that can easily get scared of pumpkins. And even in later episodes, you got these two acting like a husband and wife.

Fandom That You Didn’t Expect to Get Into: Les Miserables – A Girl Named Cosette

Let me explain a little something. Les Mis! I have never seen the play, watched the movie, or read the novel prior to picking up this anime. Not a single one of those! And that’s a bit of a head-scratcher when you realize I was a bit of a musical theater nut in my teenage years. But one thing I do like is when Japan does an anime based on plays or historical events (like Romeo x Juliet or Rose of Versailles). The second I popped in Les Miserables the anime, I wanted to binge watch the whole 52 episode series. It is by no means a perfect adaptation of the Victor Hugo novel. Several key players end up surviving all the way up to the end of the story! But because this was my very first viewing of anything Les Mis, I took to the story of Cosette and was eager to see what was going to happen next in her tale. Unlike the movies and play, Cosette was the main focus of the story besides Jean Valjean and Javert. And thanks to watching the unfortunate stories of Cosette, Jean Valjean, the Thenadiers, Javert, Marius, and the rest, I thought it was time to watch the OTHER adaptations to Les Mis.

…

Russell Crowe sucks.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni

Higurashi or When They Cry is one of my favorite fandoms of all time! So naturally when we heard that it was making a comeback, I was excited. It was also very odd that Higurashi was given this sequel or reboot. Ahem! There’s another franchise that needs a face-lift. Umineko still deserves a better treatment. Plus, now that this series was out of the faulty hands of Studio Deen, Higurashi will get the special care it deserves. Believe it or not, it wasn’t just the anime that made a comeback for me, but the manga as well. Since 2009, I’ve read several volumes (out of order) and would every now and then come back to read the story. Back to the anime, this reboot or sequel…you know what, I’m gonna call it a “rebooqual”! This rebooqual sucked me back to the town of Hinamizawa and all the murders. Every week, I find myself comparing the current episode to one from the 2006 version. But then the fourth episode of each arc seems to catch me off guard.

Where are they going with this story and these twist endings to our favorite arcs? I did not expect Rena to turn a simple attempted murder into the end of School Days! I didn’t expect Rika to die in the most disgusting fashion they could think of. Could someone kill Teppei fucking Hojo? I will pay ¥5000 for someone to do that job. So yeah, because I know how much of this plays out and who does what, I’m usually watching and reading while making wise-ass remarks. But I still have fun with it.

Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: Konosuba

In a year where I caught up with the popular Isekais like Shield Hero and Re:Zero, I found the wacky misadventures of Kazuma Satou to be amusing as all get-out. From the first 5 minutes, I found myself laughing at Kazuma’s misfortune. Seriously, how the fuck do you mistake a tractor for a car, have a heart attack, piss yourself, and fucking die in the first couple minutes to the series? You can only get away with this shit in gag animes! But it’s not just Kazuma’s dumbass, there’s a mage who only does explosions, but loses all her energy after one blow-up. Then there’s a busty, blonde who gets turned on by getting hurt and can’t strike anything with her sword. Anime’s biggest masochist or Cheryl Tunt incarnate, I haven’t decided which one to believe! Then you have this loud, crazy goddess chick named Aqua. She’s also useless about 86% of the time! Watching their unfortunate missions is all the crack that I need to get through this year. Seriously, Darkness is just all kinds of fucked up, but we love her.

Last Fandom of 2020: Yashahime

That’s right, the InuYasha sequel gets top spot here! Even though week after week I find myself asking more questions than when the episode started, I’m still hooked. If you’re like me, you watched and fell in love with the series InuYasha. So if they’re doing a sequel, you’re expecting to see all of your favorite characters from the prequel like InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Sesshomaru, Koga, Rin, and the rest. Actually, no! Quite the opposite! We’ve got Sesshomaru’s daughters, but no Sesshomaru. Rin is sleeping in a tree we think! We’ve got InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter, but they’re M.I.A. None of the girls even know a thing about their birth parents.

Now are these new characters a catch like the ones from the previous series? Some are! The three main girls, yes! Especially Moroha! I’ve already praised her name earlier in the superlative. Towa and Setsuna do take on some personality traits from their parents. Setsuna is definitely serious like Sesshomaru and Towa sometimes has a carefree yet loyal aura to her like Rin. I know I’m always skeptical when a series gives us a sequel featuring the offspring of the main characters. Especially when you’ve got some lame examples like Boruto and Eureka Seven AO (I might retract my diss on Boruto later)! As each week gives us a new episode, we’re unraveling new clues into a lot of things involving our old favorite characters, as well as the new ones. So I have high hopes for Yashahime for the time being!

[hopes4gf]

Thievery and Mischief (a marvel/ descendants crossover)

TW: (applies for series: discussions and mentions of rape, underaged sex, cheating, suicide, mental health)

AN: hi! this is a work in progress fanfic i’m uploading in advance of 15 chapters, so please show this some love, also sorry in advance for typos and spelling errors, my grammar is shit ;/ please enjoy!

I was so young. Too young. I didn’t understand why anything happened. I grew up in Agrabah with my parents and my brother, Aziz. But it wasn’t the dream vacation destination everyone in Auradon sought it out to be. It was a wreck. Jafar and Hades had invaded Agrabah and fought against my parents for revenge. Agrabah was damaged after their attack and our government had struggle to repair itself. So we had to live in a semi-permanent safe home for quite some time. By the way, I was also cursed by Jafar as a kid and I could shape shift into a tiger and develop other powers in the future. In my home, Mom was always stressed. Yelling and screaming how we needed to be better than they were to protect our city, especially me with my powers. My brother and I both took fencing classes, martial arts, learn how to shoot, every survival skill in the books before taking boys and girl Royal etiquette classes. Mom was the one who was particularly hard on me and my older brother throughout our childhood. Dad, not so much. He spent a lot of time in meetings in Auradon City. That’s how my first friendships began. He was great friends with King Adam and Queen Belle, elected leaders of Auradon. Ben, their only child was shy around me at first. He was intimidated by my mature stature. He like horses, painting, books, and food. I liked singing, fencing, and dancing but I also had a love for food and books so we got along through those things. We would always talk about the different ingredients in our cultures foods. His French pastries and my Arabian comfort foods. We were an inseparable pair of friends. And then I was introduced to Audrey. She joined our group soon after King Adam and Belle has decided to promise my parents and Audrey’s parents to a trust bond. A promise that would have one of us marry in the future. 9 year old me definitely didn’t want ANYTHING to do with dating my best friend. Neither did Ben. But Audrey, she was so persistent. She would constantly try to grab his attention. She was such a cheeky little girl. Raised to be such a lady compared to my more loose and carefree attitude. Somehow, Ben was happy around her. Our group soon expanded, and I met the greatest person ever. Li Lonnie, my greatest friend ever. Daughter of Fa Mulan and Li Shang, she was like me. Mature, strong, intelligent, and such a beautiful kid. Sure, she didn’t have my hazel eyes but she was such a pretty girl. She spoke so intelligently and when she spoke it was law. She was one of my inspirations as a kid. And still is :)

Time passed and we realized we weren’t kids anymore. My brother had to go away to a school in Auradon. And I was alone soon again. But I had my friends. But my child-like manners went away when I realized it was soon my turn to go to Auradon. So, I ran away. But you’ll hear more about that in the future.

Freshman year of high school. Audrey and Ben has broken off from our group and started dating in High School. Audrey has changed so much. She was such a sweet girl with a big heart but had begun to morph into a self-absorbed teen. Lonnie was still the same kind-hearted best friend. When I arrived in Auradon, I had a familiar face to help me. My cousin, Jordan. Daughter of the Genie. Everyone in that school was so nice that it hurt. My mother had raised me not to believe everything in front of me. But one particular thing or something changed that. A blonde boy with short curly hair and beautiful blue eyes had captured my attention. I still remember when our eyes had locked for the first time in the school courtyard. It was a whole new experience for me. I suddenly felt happy inside. Like a new found confidence in me was discovered. But my cousin Jordan advised me not to approach the boy. Chad Charming, son of Prince Charming and Cinderella. The most popular boy at Auradon Prep. Every girl would fawn over him endlessly. One day I had found a note from him on my lunch tray to meet him in the gardens. I swear we talked for hours about everything. We talked about our dreams, our experiences, our hopes. He made all my dreams happen. I wanted my first date to be at a carnival and he made that happen. I wanted something from the mall and he got it for me. I thought everything with him was just fine. Until that party. Ben had thrown a party for all his friends at Auradon Prep and Chad and I were there. Everyone was drinking except me. Imagine, prestigious kids of Royalty breaking illegal drinking laws. I didn’t know at the time but the punch was spiked heavily with Vodka. I never drank Vodka after that damn party. Jane, the headmistress, Fairy Godmother’s daughter had come to my dorm crying. She kept saying “I can’t take this anymore”. She had gave me the worst news of my life. She had seen Chad take me upstairs while I was drunk and touch me in explicit manners. Essentially, my boyfriend decided to rape me at my best friend’s party. I was sickened by that. And when my family pressed charges and got a restraining order on him, the case ended in a settlement. He didn’t even serve time. Because the judge was a family friend of the Charmings. I was devastated. I cried for weeks. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I just cried. Lonnie visited me every day while I was out of school. She had told me that Chad had moved on and was doing perfectly fine. I was miserable for all of Sophmore year.

By the way, my name is Adri Ababwa and I’m the world’s stupidest masterpiece. But you’ll see why later.

------------------------------------------------------------

“Adri,” My best friend, Ben called out.

My eyes widen, suddenly alarmed from my name being called.

“What’s up?” I say striding over to Ben’s side as he looks out the window of his parlor.

”I spoke with my parents about the proclamation,” Ben says.

I roll my eyes, realizing what’s about to happen.

”I told you your idea was stupid. Your dad would never let you bring Villain kids over-“

”They approved it,” Ben says, stopping me between my sentence.

My eyes widen in disbelief.

“Oh. Oh! I guess that’s good for you I guess,” I say nervously.

Ben takes both of my hands in his.

”Listen, I know things were rough for you last year, but this year we need change in this world. And I’m gonna be the one to establish that change,” Ben says.

”Even if that means bringing the daughters of Maleficent and the Evil Queen and the sons of Cruella de Vil and Jafar to Auradon Prep?” I ask nervously.

”What did I say about that?” Ben asks cheekily.

”They’re not their parents,” I reply in a mumble.

”Right,” Ben says, patting my shoulder. Ben opens his mouth to say something but hesitates.

”What?” I ask.

”That‘s why your going to be my advisor,” Ben says.

I take a step back.

”Your crazy but okay,” I giggle.

Ben chuckles softly and goes to the phone to ask his secretary if Audrey is on her way to the room for her Coronation fitting.

I walk through the door and wish Ben good luck.

As I stride down the hall, I hop onto my sticker filled skateboard and race down the halls. I greet the guards surrounding the castle and slide the down the handlebars of the stairs. I see Audrey and stop to walk the rest of the way.

”Adri! It’s a pleasure to see after so long. Out of your depression, I see,” Audrey says snarkily.

”Sure! I’m fine. And I see your makeup is looking as creased as ever,” I reply in the same fashion.

Audrey huffs and rolls her eyes.

I strut off.

”Fucking bitch,” I mutter to myself, hopping on my skateboard and skating back to my dorm.

As soon as I reach my dorm, Fairy Godmother is standing by my door.

“Can you please give me the board?” Fairy Godmother asks.

”Can’t have any fun around here, can I?” I ask, giving her my board for the fifth time this week

“Not for the first week of school. Remember we have-“

”Press coming in to report on the school, I know Jane told me,” I say at the same time as Fairy Godmother.

“Good. Then I’ll see you soon,” Fairy Godmother says dismissing herself.

I turn around and head for the courtyard where I spot Jordan under our gossip tree.

”What’s new, pinky-Lou?” I ask.

”Hey, cuz. Just doing some newspaper projects. I writing about the secret camera web series of our school and the new kids coming to the Isle,” Jordan says.

”Damn, news does travel fast,” I scoff.

”Ben posted an announcement a couple minutes ago,” Jordan says.

I roll my eyes in disbelief.

“What if one of them is cute? You gonna go for it?” Jordan asks cheekily.

”HELL NO. I am never making the same mistake of opening up to a person ever again,” I yell.

”It’s gonna happen...” Jordan says in a song-like manner.

”Shut the fuck up!” I say.

The night I sneak out of my dorm and go to the kitchens to get a snack for Roxie, my baby tiger.

”Insomnia?” A voice says behind me.

I’m startled by the voice and I turn to see Lonnie standing over the counter.

”Yes, you asshole,” I sigh.

Lonnie laughs silently.

”You know someone’s gonna find out that it’s you recording the videos at lunch,” I say.

”Stop it. That’s top secret,” Lonnie says.

”Who cares? Everyone knows that they’re asshole and dickheads anyways. And your very lucky that I haven’t ratted you out to Jordan. She’s persistent,” I say, grabbing some bacon from the fridge and putting it in a pan

”That’s for Roxie, right?” Lonnie asks.

”Maybe not,” I say.

Lonnie laughs and I take a piece of cooked bacon and put it in my mouth.

I hum softly at the taste.

”Hey. Don’t be afraid to talk to me sometimes. Especially after what I saw,” Lonnie says.

Ah. The thing. After some time in my self-quarantine of Sophmore year, I decided it was time for everything in my life to end. So, I grabbed some pills and I did something I regretted. Lonnie saved my life that day. That’s why I love her so much.

“I know, mama,” I say softly as I cook the rest of the bacon.

”You have no idea how much I care, Adri,” Lonnie says, hugging me from behind me.

”Thats probably why I love when you’re around,” I chuckle.

Lonnie lays her head on my shoulder.

”By the way I signed ya up for the welcoming comitee with Audrey,” Lonnie whispers.

”What!” I yell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks later...

Someone starts banging heavily on my door. I open my eyes and the sound in my ears clears.

”ADRI! Wake up! Your late for the Vk’s welcoming,” Audrey screams from behind my door.

Maybe I should have stayed asleep. Damn you, Lonnie.

I put on this:

pin.it/5uiV7hV

And I walked out my door.

“Ben shouldn’t have made you his advisor if you were gonna sleep in,” Audrey says.

”I’m here aren’t I?” I reply.

”Shut up, let’s go,” Audrey says, grabbing my hand and dragging me down the stairs to the courtyard.

Oh god this is gonna be terrible.

Ben sees me and Audrey coming up next to him.

”What happened to you?” Ben asks.

”Slept in,” I mumble.

Ben chuckles and Audrey takes his arm.

”It’s fine by the way, it’s actually the first time in a while,” Ben says.

Fairy Godmother begins to greet everyone in the small group of band kids and cheerleaders until she reaches our trio.

”Ben, Audrey, Adri, how are you?” Fairy Godmother.

“Good,” We all say.

The limo pulls up and the band starts playing. The limo stops and two boys pop out fighting over a scarf.

My eyes glance towards to girls who come out of the other side of the car. One has short plum hair with a plum leather outfit to match. The other girl has long wavy blue hair with two crown braids at the front.

“Why do you want whatever this is?” One of the boys with gray hair says.

”Because you want it,” The other boy in a red beanie says.

Right off the bat you notice who’s who. And the boy in the beanie is definitely Jafar’s son.

“Leave it where you found it! And by that, just leave it.” Fairy Godmother says.

”Just cleaning up!” The boy with the red beanie says.

He puts the scarf back in the limo and his eyes immediately catch mine.

He catches me as I stare at his frame. His brown hair, his dark brown eyes, his muscular form and his leather outfit all catch me off guard.

His frown turns into a smirk and he strides towards me.

”Hello, foxy~ The name’s...Jay,” The boy introduces, attempting to flirt with me.

I laugh softly at his action.

”Your quite the catch aren’t you?” I remark with a smirk.

“Welcome to Auradon Prep,” Fairy Godmother says, stepping between us.

I whisper a little thank you to her and she nods.

”I’m Fairy Godmother, the headmistress,” She curtsies.

”As in, the Fairy Godmother? Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo?” The girl with plum hair asks.

”Bibbidi-Bobbidi, you know it,” Fairy Godmother says.

“Does she ramble like this much?” I ask Ben.

”All the damn time,” Ben says.

We snicker in unison.

Audrey nudges Ben.

”It’s so nice to meet you all. I’m Ben,” Ben introduces.

”Prince Ben. Soon to be King, right Bennyboo?” Audrey interjects.

I fake-vomit at the nickname and roll my eyes.

”You had me at Prince. My mom’s a queen so that makes me a princess,” The blue haired girl says, fawning over Ben.

”The Evil Queen has no Royal status here and neither do you,” Audrey smiles cheekily.

”Yes she does, otherwise Snow White would cease to be Royalty and she is her step-sister,” I comment with a smile.

Audrey raises a brow to stop me and I wink in the girl’s direction. She gives me a smile in return.

”This is Audrey. My-“

”Girlfriend. And future queen,” Audrey says.

”Last but not least, this is Adri. My advisor and my best friend,” Ben says.

”Your new wickedly cool best friend,” I say with a smirk.

”These three are going to show you all around and I’ll see all tomorrow. The doors of wisdom are never shut! Except library hours are 8:00 to 11:00 and you know I have a thing for curfew,” Fairy Godmother says, excusing herself.

”She tends to drag things out of proportion. Don’t mind her,” I say.

Ben chuckles and Audrey nudges his arm.

“It is so, so, so good to finally me... meet you all,” Ben starts as Jay hits his chest with a light punch.

“ This is a momentous occasion, and one that I hope will go down in history... Is that chocolate?” Shaking the gray haired boy’s hand that is covered in chocolate.

”As the day our two peoples began to heal,” Ben finishes.

“Or the day where you showed four peoples where the bathrooms are,” The plum haired girl says.

“A little over the top?” Ben asks her.

”More than a little,” She says.

”So much for my first impression,” Ben says awkwardly.

“You're Maleficent's daughter, aren't you? Yeah, you know what? I totally do not blame you for your mother trying to kill my parents and stuff. Oh, my mom's Aurora. Sleeping...“ Audrey starts.

”Beauty! Yeah I’ve heard the name. You know, I totally do not blame your grandparents for not inviting my mother to their stupid christening,” The girl responds.

”Water under the bridge!” Audrey fakes.

”Totes!” The girl replys in the same tone.

They laugh together pathetically.

“Jeez, can we get this over with?“ I scoff.

” OK. So how about a tour, yeah?“ Ben starts.

We start to move towards the front of the school.

“Auradon Prep was originally built 300 years ago before my father turned it into a high school when he was elected King,” Ben says, clapping his fingers to morph the statue.

The gray haired boy jumps into Jay’s arms.

”Carlos, it’s okay. My father made the statue to remind us that anything is possible,” Ben addresses.

I laugh at the boy’s banter. Jay sees this and drops Carlos to the floor. I can feel him lurking by me as we continue inside the school.

“ So do you guys have magic here? You know, like wands and stuff?” Mal asks.

“All that stuffs pretty much retired. Most of us are just ordinary mortals,” Ben says.

”Unlike me. I was cursed so...” I say clicking my tongue.

”And you happen to be kings and queens?“

“That’s true. Our royal blood goes back hundreds and hundreds of years,“ Audrey says, placing an arm around Ben.

”Doug,” Ben calls Dopey’s son down.

“Doug, will be showing you to your dorms. If you have any questions-“

”Ask Adri or Doug,” Audrey says, whisking him away.

“Um, hey guys. Hi, guys. I'm Dopey's son. As in Dopey, Doc, Bashful, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, and... Heigh-ho.,” Doug starts, his eyes landing on the blue haired girl.

I take the clipboard from him and read their names.

”Mal Bertha. Evie Grimhilde. Carlos De Vil. Jay Farr,” I read to myself.

I interrupt Doug as he talks about classes.

”I’ll be showing you to your dorms,” I say, walking up one staircase.

”Guys, it’s actually this way,” Doug points towards me as the go in the wrong direction.

They follow me until we stop at their dorm rooms.

”Boys, you have the larger dorm here,” I point.

”Sweet!” Carlos says, hopping inside.

”What’s in it?” Jay asks, me

”Two full size beds, a flat screen tv, mini fridge, 3D printer, gaming console, a bathroom for two, fireplace, and double closet,” I say off the top of my head.

”Thank god, that’s enough to keep them busy for hours,” Mal says.

Me and the girls turn away from their room but someone places a hand on my shoulder.

”Hey, can we talk after?” Jay asks.

”Why?” I ask, raising a brow.

Jay gives me a pleading looks and I roll my eyes, walking away.

”Girls, this is your dorm. With roughly the same things as the boys except a bigger closet and bathroom and no gaming console,” I say.

”This room needs more-“

”Purple? I supposed you would agree. Love your outfit by the way,” I compliment.

”You don’t look to horrible yourself,” Mal smirks.

”I made it by the way,” Evie adds.

“Fashion Designer, huh? You could make some bank with that,” I comment.

Evie smiles.

”If you need anything, I’m the first door down the hall,” I say.

I close the door to the girls dorm and turn to see someone completely unexpected. My smile turns into a frown as I see Chad Charming at the end of the hall. As I try and stride down the hall to Jay and Carlos’s room, his gaze meets mine.

”Well, well. Look who it is. Little miss court case,” Chad says, his lips curving into a smirk.

”Your lucky my restraining order is expired, Charming,” I snark as he draws near to me.

”You know, you’re lucky Ben and Lonnie are friends with you. Otherwise, everyone here wouldn’t give a damn about your little charity case,” Chad says cockily, running a hand through my hair.

My body tenses and my teeth clench as he touches my hair.

“Don’t do that,” I say through my clenched jaw.

”Or what?” Chad says, pinning me against the wall. His frame towering over me.

”You gonna sue me again just so that I could give your pathetic ass more money?” Chad asks.

”Get your fucking hands off of her,” A voice says from behind Chad.

I look over Chad’s shoulder to see Jay standing behind him with a scowl on his face.

I can practically feel my eyes change shape, pleading to Jay to help me.

Chad gets off of me and walks towards Jay confronting him.

”Is that a threat?” Chad asks.

”You gonna punch me if it is, Princey? You know, you probably shouldn’t mess with someone you barely know. I’m sure it’ll have serious consequences,” Jay growls.

Chad backs off, intimidated by Jay.

”Whatever, man,” Chad scoffs, taming a step back.

He turns to me, his smirk returning.

”I’ll see you later, babe,” Chad says, winking at me.

He walks away and I can practically feel the tears coming to my eyes.

”Who the hell does he think he is?” Jay scoffs.

My legs start to move down the hall, trying to get away.

”Hey! Where are you going?” Jay calls behind me.

”Leave me alone!” I choke.

Jay’s footsteps chase after me and he grabs my wrist.

”Stay out of my business and leave me the hell alone,” I say in a serious tone.

”What was that about though? And why do you look like your about to cry in any second?” Jay asks deliberately.

I growl under my breath.

”Because he’s my abusive ex-boyfriend who raped me while I was blacked out at Ben’s party! And now everyone pities the hell out of me and treats me like a child because I tried to commit suicide. Is that what you’re so desperate to get out of me?” I yell.

Jay is taken aback by my words. His brown eyes widen as he looks at me. Searching through my eyes and seeing the pain in them.

”Shit, I’m so sorry. Look, I will never ever do that to you ever again,” Jay says, concerned by my action.

”Listen, don’t make promises you know you can’t keep,” I say.

Jay turns to leave but I grab his wrist.

”You forgot you tell me what you wanted to speak about,” I say with a smirk.

Jay scratches his neck nervously.

”Sorry. I was just so concerned about the way that guy was talking to you that I didn’t even realize,” Jay explains.

I chuckle lightly at his concern. How is he so chill after that? After I just yelled at him?

“I was just wondering if I could learn a little more about you. I mean-since we know a little bit about Ben and Audrey so,” Jay says.

I giggle lightly at his question. Then I hesitate, remembering this is the son of my parent’s enemy. But suddenly, my new found confidence tells me “Fuck it”.

”Well, I’ve lived in Auradon for 3 years. I like Art a lot. And um, I’m the daughter of Aladdin and Jasmine,” I say shyly.

Jay erupts in a light chuckle. My brows furrow at his actions.

”Did I say something wrong?” I ask.

”No, but that does explain everything,” Jay says with a smirk.

”Explain what exactly?” I ask, confused by his action.

”The comebacks, the way you roll your eyes, the outfit, and the way you act around danger. You have that “I really don’t give and shit sometimes attitude”. I’m assuming it’s family trait,” Jay laughs.

I roll my eyes at his banter.

”Sure, dipshit. And you know wanna know what gives you away?” I ask cheekily.

”What?” Jay says, playing along.

”The fact that you prance around me, eyeing me just like your father did to my mother when she was my age,” I say with a smirk.

His eyes widen, catching him off guard.

”And I promise you, your little concerned or flirtatious act isn’t gonna always cut it with me, pretty boy,” I say, tapping his shoulder and turning to leave.

I look behind me and see him smirk behind me as I walk to my dorm.

That boy is gonna keep trying to win me over. And I’m in for the long game...

[yinyangswings]

Single Parent AU

So I was kind of inspired by @musicfeedsmysoul12 headcanon of the Havenfall is for Lover’s MC being a single mother. As I also like that AU I decided to give it a go. I tried to keep it as different as I could to musicfeedsmysoul12‘s which is here.

It’s a bit long so I’m placing them in the Read Below

Mackenzie

The kid is a 9 year old non-binary kid who has a minor seizure condition. Their parents' whereabouts are unknown. They were taken in and adopted by MC. They love MC and her family for taking them in, though sometimes they wonder if they’re a burden for MC.

It is later discovered that their parents are part of Code Black, but abandoned them due to their condition. They have a hard time forgiving them for that.

Mac can sense when they are going to have a seizure. If she’s nearby she’ll make sure they know to lie down. MC is super appreciative of it.

She did this even before MC knew about her being a werewolf

Mac is really nervous at first to date MC because of them. Not because she’s dating someone with a kid, she doesn’t mind that. But because she doesn’t want the kid to think that she’s taking her away from them.

Mac asks JD for advice so she doesn’t misgender them.

Hugely appreciated by them.

Beau makes off handed threats towards the kid. It doesn’t end well.

Not even the Beast is amused by that. And she doesn’t even like the kid.

They and Mackenzie bond over comic books. Mac is so pleased to have another person to geek out on comics with.

Do they cosplay? Hell yeah!!!

While both MC and Mac are good parents, Mac is definitely the stricter one of the two. Though she’s not as good as MC is against the puppy-dog eyes.

Especially when the triplets and them use it against her in the future.

Mac’s parents absolutely love them. They are their first grandchild. Doesn’t matter if they aren’t biologically related. GRANDCHILD.

Annabelle loves the kid and is a protective older sister.

No one messes with them. No. One.

Damien is protective of them too, though he shows it more in a ‘I’m annoyed older brother’ kind of way.

He may act annoyed to have them following him around, especially if Annabelle is nearby, but threaten them and there is one angry werewolf glaring and growling at whoever is dumb enough to do it.

They call her Mom in the middle of the third season. They get the biggest hug from Mac, to the point they don’t think Mac is going to let go anytime soon.

That protectiveness is ten-fold after that. No one gets close to that kid without Mac knowing.

When Grace comes back, she tries to bring them to Code Black, but they vehemently refuse. They’re already where they want to be and are home. They are even more adamant about it when they find out their bio parents are a part of the Code Black.

This does cause a bit of tension because they don’t know what their parents are capable of, and whether or not they’ve unintentionally endangered the entire town. And they’re terrified that MC and Mac will leave them eventually because of their condition.

Mac is quick to reject that idea, and says as far as she’s concerned, they’re part of her family. Her pack. They aren’t going anywhere.

Elmer gets used to seeing them coming into the station while MC is working, bringing dinner for Mac, because their mom worries.

He finds it extremely cute and he usually chats with them if they wind up waiting for Mac

They are super excited when they find out MC is having kids. And they’ll be the best big sibling. Granted they did not take into account the werewolf genes. Seriously, they are the oldest of the siblings and still the shortest. They are not amused.

They are perfectly fine with getting bitten and becoming a werewolf. This is their pack, of course they want to be fully a part of it. They don’t know how the whole medical condition would play into it though, so they’re waiting a little bit and researching.

Diego

The kid is a 10 month old little girl that looks exactly like MC. She’s the result of a one-night stand for MC and the father doesn’t want anything to do with her. He’ll pay child support and that’s about it (and even that is like pulling teeth).

Grace insists she’s the favorite aunt (though MC likes to point out she’s the only aunt).

Diego is her doctor, though she does have a pediatric doctor to go to. His necklace is a favorite thing to latch onto by the curious 10 month old. And she has quite the grip.

She also really likes his sunglasses. It’s only after Diego is revealed to be a vampire to MC that he lets her actually hold onto them. Now they are almost always covered in baby drool.

Diego takes longer to accept being with MC because he worries about endangering MC and her daughter, but the 10 month old is apparently just as stubborn as her mother and really likes Diego and makes her opinions known.

MC found it adorable and hilarious the first time she made him hold her where it wasn’t a check-up. He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Dada is her first word, directed at Diego. The vampire basically breaks down when she says that.

Because Diego doesn’t need to sleep, he tends to be the one who gets to her first if she wakes up at night.

He sings lullabies to her in Spanish.

Once he finds out (through Victor) that MC has a daughter, Antonio makes it very clear to Victor and the other lackies to stay away from the infant. It’s not like she can protect herself and he wouldn’t go that low to get revenge on Diego.

Grace has a really hard time trusting her niece alone with Diego after she returns. Diego understands it, but it doesn’t make it any less painful.

Her crying for him from Grace’s arms does not make it easier either. MC sneaks her out for some ‘daddy time’ with Diego, something both of them enjoy.

There is a temporary truce when she gets a really bad fever and MC convinces Grace to let Diego check on her. She’s not thrilled, but her love for her niece overrides her distrust of vampires.

Dracula begins to have an interest in the girl when he’s looking for and locates Diego. She looks so much like a woman who had managed to escape his clutches centuries ago.

This terrifies Diego. He debates leaving them to protect MC and her, though he realizes quickly that Dracula will try and take her whether he’s there or not if he decides she’s worth his time.

Dracula makes comments about making her a future bride when she’s older which pisses Diego off and terrifies him.

When they’re on the run from Dracula, they run into her biological father. He makes several choice comments to MC about their daughter, implying that it’s likely the little girl isn’t even his to start off with. Diego gets really, really angry at that.

Dracula uses her as bait against Diego and MC.

She likes Eva a lot. First meeting with Antonio after everything that had happened in season 1-2, she pukes on him.

And Diego laughs about it every chance he remembers.

MC struggles a lot with not drinking her daughter's blood right after she becomes a vampire.

It terrifies her with the very idea of accidentally killing her daughter for her blood. Diego is vigilant and ensures the two aren’t alone together after MC is transformed for a little while.

Playing ‘doctor’ with Diego when she’s a little older, which means Diego has to endure being wrapped up like a mummy with toilet paper. MC finds it adorable.

Spike is rather protective of her and incredibly patient with her for being a hellhound.

They are both adorable together and heart attack inducing when Spike occasionally teleports with her holding onto him.

First time that happened sent both Diego and MC into hysterics.

When she’s older, she says she wants to be a doctor. No, Diego doesn’t cry.

Much...he gets choked up a bit about it.

Diego and MC agree to let her choose when she’s old enough if she wants to be changed into a vampire.

JD

The kid is a spunky 7 year old girl who was adopted by MC. MC and her mother were in a relationship but her mother died in an accident. MC took her in after the grandparents and father stated they didn’t want custody of her. The father was because he had a new family, the grandparents because their daughter died going to pick her up.

She has severe abandonment issues over this.

She hides those issues through sarcasm.

Her favorite color is pink, but she yearns to have a leather jacket like JD. She eventually gets one and it’s her favorite thing ever.

JD gives her the nickname Punky Pink, or PP for short. She does not approve of the abbreviation.

JD tries to keep everything with MC as casual as possible and tries to not be a parent. Because this is MC and she has a kid. And they are not a good parental figure. At all.

That is evident with her coming to the bowling alley after school and the amount of trouble they get both of them in.

She loves their wings. JD HAS WINGS. HOW COOL IS THAT?!

She was very, very disappointed that the books have misrepresented them.

You’re supposed to have a goat head. And cloven hooves.

Who says I don’t have the hooves?

Those boots.

She makes a report about JD for school. Thankfully it was a creative writing project so no one really suspected she was telling the truth.

It did result in a teacher conference however. JD was very amused when they found out through MC.

JD has the paper framed and keeps it in their room.

Her mother’s grandparents are complete jerks to her, and say they wished she had died instead of her mother which just breaks her. And it pisses JD off.

They make sure to let those assholes know what they think of ditching that little girl. Doesn’t even care if they get in trouble with Mac.

After that, they take her on a really long drive on their motorcycle, and they talk about people being jerks, but that doesn’t define her or them. And she has MC that loves her to death and everyone in town who loves her too.

JD is usually just called ‘JD’ by her, though this is usually met with confusion

“We need to call your guardian.”

“Well there’s Mom and JD? Which one do you want?”

“Is JD your other mom or your dad?”

“Yes.”

She doesn’t put up with misgendering bullshit and has gotten into fistfights at school for it. She doesn’t get into trouble with MC for it though and JD is very touched over it.

Hikari and Grace battle on who is the best aunt.

It does not help when Gwen joins in.

The Facestealers wind up being nightmare fuel for the seven year old, and she has to sleep curled up to MC for several days. One day she falls asleep and just clings to JD, who at first tries to get her off of them, but basically relents when she winds up having a death grip on their sleeve. Only time Razi doesn’t get annoyed and scolds JD for not doing work.

Nessie is enraged with the girl and MC getting in the way of her and JD. She attempts to kill her and MC because of her belief that both of them are taking JD from her.

Lucifer takes an interest in her and manages to talk to her once without JD or MC present. She had been out exploring when he found her. JD is not happy when they find out, because Lucifer makes sure they know he was near her and close enough to where he could touch her.

JD almost has a panic attack and gets really angry, scaring her and making her think she’s done something wrong and that they’ll leave because of it. It takes several people to convince her that that’s not the case and that they aren’t angry at her.

JD makes it very clear afterwards to their dad. He’s not allowed near her. Not now, not ever. Do not touch her, do not look at her. There will be hell to pay if he comes near her again.

She panics when JD gives up their freedom for MC. Like she’s curled up in her bedroom, crying.

Rip Van Winkle did not know who he was messing with when she fell under the spell right in front of JD. Pure burning chaos.

Razi

The kid is an eight year old girl who is deaf. She is of Asian descent. MC had been dating her father before he died in an accident when she was six. Her mother had passed away years before, and with no other direct blood relations, MC adopts her so she doesn’t become another statistic in the system. Though she can’t hear, she knows sign language and can read lips. MC and Grace learned how to do it when MC was with her father. The others in HifL learn as well.

JD learns the words that an eight year old probably shouldn’t know. They state it’s good for her to learn the colorful language too. Razi is not amused.

Because she’s deaf, Jonas’s music doesn’t affect her, which is a relief to MC and Razi. Though it does lead to a few panicked moments in later seasons, such as when Baba Yaga makes her appearance.

She ships MC and Razi so hard.

She and JD make bets on who cracks first. JD now owes her several boxes of candy.

She has a personality like Mabel Pines which is both hilarious and tiring for Razi and MC

She gets along with Razi pretty well.

She’s always trying to play matchmaker for MC

She had already been calling MC ‘Mom’ for a little bit prior to the beginning of the whole series, but started calling Razi ‘Dad’ respectfully in Season 3. No. Razi doesn’t cry. He swears he doesn’t cry.

He does. He totally does and JD has photo evidence.

JD offers to babysit her a lot so MC and Razi can have alone time. Usually they say no, but JD figures what Razi and MC don’t know/notice, won’t hurt them. They usually go around town on their motorcycle with her. They make sure she wears a helmet of course. Because safety!

Razi is terrified about Baba Yaga ever going after her. Cue him finding out who Baba Yaga is and how many times she was left alone unknowingly with the child eater.

He does not take it well to say the least.

It is revealed that her mother was a kitsune who fell in love and married a human but was later killed, and she takes after her mother in regard to a long time span. She is unable to transform into a kitsune, she will live much longer than any human, and aging will slow down once she reaches adulthood.

This is a relief to the Nassar family, especially Razi, as they won’t have to see her grow old and die, because it is something that he wouldn’t be able to handle.

Roshni and Rahim love to tease Razi with how protective he is over the girl

Roshni convinces Rahim to put fake press on tattoos on the side of the girl’s face and says she took her first tattoo like a champ just to mess with Razi. Razi nearly has a heart attack.

Roshni and Rahim are the best aunt and uncle.

She is the best big sister to Roxie. Very protective of her and is usually following her around everywhere.

Maybe not as protective as Razi is to the both of them, but dang close.

Vanessa

A two year old bio boy for MC. She had been in a relationship with him, but unfortunately he was killed by a mugging gone bad. He’s a very quiet boy, to the point where people don’t notice him until he makes a sound.

MC is really protective of him.

He is a very curious boy, and tends to wander a lot. He’s also in that phase where he tries to taste everything.

Which has Vanessa panicking because she has way too many things that are deadly that he keeps trying to put in his mouth, Oh God.

And she hasn’t really had to deal with kids, at least that young. At least not in a long time. And now she has to protect this boy and his mom. Stress galore. So she isn’t sure about this relationship

Equally MC isn’t sure about being with a woman who literally hunts mythical creatures and endangering herself and possibly MC and her kid

They do begin to bond by Vanessa introducing him to anime and manga. She keeps it completely age appropriate and he seems to enjoy it.

She pledges to protect him and MC from the Dracula brides.

Eventually she gets the hang of parenting, though she still leaves a lot of it to MC

Antonio

The kid is a ten year old boy who was adopted by MC. His parents were not good people and he was pretty much abandoned by them. He is very protective of MC and Grace and has anxiety with them possibly leaving him.

He promises Grace to look after MC, even though he’s ten and has the strength of a wet noodle.

Antonio did NOT know that MC was a guardian to a kid. Heck the kid was asleep in the back of the truck when Antonio kidnapped MC in the first place.

This complicates things quite a bit. He can’t go through with this. If he couldn’t face Eva if he used MC’s blood to resurrect her, Eva would never forgive him for orphaning a kid.

Igor becomes very interested with the boy initially, not realizing he’s adopted. If Antonio isn’t going to kill MC because he grew a conscience, the boy should be fair game.

Igor’s threat against him lessens once he realizes that the boy is not blood related to MC. Doesn’t mean he’s not below using him as bait against MC and later on Antonio. Antonio is not pleased.

He is sarcastic as hell and doesn’t mind making digs on how old Antonio is, despite the fact Antonio is perfectly aware of how things work in the modern era.

He found some of Antonio’s attempts at making movies. He will not name names or give any hint of his resources. Much to Antonio’s displeasure.

Diego finds this hilarious. So does Eva.

He’s really patient with Eva and doesn’t mind showing her what or how technologies work. Unlike Antonio, she’s been dead for 500 years. Kind of a big technological gap to learn from.

When MC’s blood is poisoned, he offers Antonio his blood in the meantime.

Antonio rejects the offer, even though he appreciates the sentiment.

Antonio is in charge of answering questions about history later on. This is both a good thing, but also a bad thing when the textbooks get something wrong. MC has to remind both of them that ‘my mom’s vampire boyfriend’ is not a resource to use in papers.

“This is completely inaccurate. What research did this ‘author’ use and where did they get it?? It’s total crap.”

“Remind me to not show you any books about the explorers. Especially Cortes.”

“Why?”

“Er...no reason.”

Thankfully word gets around pretty quickly and Frankenstein as well as the Cult of Blood leave him alone for the most part. The Cult of Blood snatches him along with MC, but that is basically to keep her compliant.

He doesn’t like Victor at all. Don’t ask him why, he just doesn’t.

Antonio is protective of the kid, even though they act like mortal enemies in the beginning. It’s like Diego and Antonio, only if Diego was shorter and can’t speak a lick of Spanish.

They run into his parents unintentionally and he sees them before anyone else. He hides the fact he spots them, but wanders away to have a chat. It goes about as well as to be expected.

It results in him getting a smack across the face from a very angry mom and a warning from the dad. MC is not happy when he gets back to them with scratch marks across his face.

It takes MC quite a long time to convince Antonio that he can’t kill them, even if they’ve earned it.

Antonio will say things in Spanish around him just to mess with him. It’s fun until the kid starts learning Spanish. And then he has to explain to MC why she was informed that he called the kid an ass.

He blames Diego, who neither confirms nor denies it

After Igor, Frankenstein, The Master, Cult of Blood, and Benedict he tells Antonio he needs a really good vampire therapist.

He’s only half-joking

He also thinks he might need to start making a will at the rate this is going because he doesn’t know if he’ll make it to age 15.

He says this as a joke, but that absolutely terrifies Antonio.

Antonio pretty much plans for the kid to become a vampire when he’s a little older.

[crazyfreckledginger]

Dating Napoleon Bonaparte Would Include...

Requested by anon: “Hey would you mind writing an imagine on what’d it be like to date Ikevamp Napoleon?”

A/N: Hope you like it! ^^ 

Warning: smut at the end

He was assigned to protect you by the Comte.

You did not like each other at all, he said it was annoying to babysit you, you said you didn’t need his help and that you could rely on yourself.

Until you ran into Arthur, he swept right in before the flirt could lay a finger on you even when you were handling the situation well.

You became angry at him because you made it clear that, to benefit the both of you, to stay as far away from each other as possible, you neither wanted to burden someone, be undermined, not have an asshole attitude reminding you that you are a child being guarded.

Ignoring each other for a while until he comes to your room after you finished helping Sebastian with the cleaning.

You apologised to each other and decided to start over otherwise this was ‘not’ going to be an enjoyable stay.

Getting to know each other and effortlessly making each other laugh.

Basically enjoying each other’s presence  and talking about everything and anything.

He accompanies you into town when you need or want to so he can put Comte’s mind at ease, at least that’s what he claims.

Him helping you carry things.

After you understood you had feelings for him, you felt conflicted on returning to the future, because you had no idea if he returned them.

You felt particularly depressed one night and Napoleon kept you company and at a certain point, right before you were about to get ready to go to bed, he captured your lips in his, taking you completely off guard.

But you didn’t pull away, instead, he pulled you closer, hands on your hips as you stood between his knees as to deepen the kiss from his sitting figure.

A little make out session.

That turned into a long make out session.

Being a blushing mess.

Having a very sweet loving night with him.

Waking up not surprisingly before him and watching his sleep as his finger curls around your clothes unconsciously.

Finding him very cute and kissing his bare chest.

Somehow that woke him up and he ran his fingertips through your hair.

Sebastian walked into your room, asking what is taking you so long, only to find you and Napoleon naked in your bed, under the sheets.

Scolding him and telling to leave, blushing in embarrassment.

Being quite the talk of the mansion after that.

Napoleon being protective.

A little bit possessive but usually only with the other residents, unless someone really isn’t backing down at a party Comte organised.

A lot of hand holding.

Stealing his clothes.

Him stealing your blankets as revenge so you get to sleep in his bed.

Sharing all your troubles with each other.

And knowing exactly what to do to make each other happy when you are feeling sad.

A lot of cuddling.

Napoleon being an absolute cutie and Jean pointing out how smitten he is with you all the time.

Throwing a pillow at him when he is being smug.

Ruffling your hair teasingly.

Braiding his hair when he is sleeping as revenge, the rest of the residents laughing when he unbraided hid hair but it still manages to be curly.

Basically a lot of innocent pranks.

And teasing.

Hand holding.

Him kissing your fingertips, knuckles, jaw, cheekbone, eyelids, forehead, shoulder, collarbone, nose, everywhere he can possibly do before you become embarrassed of the PDA since it’s usually in public when he decides to do this.

Spooning, laying on his chest and his back.

Kissing his forehead.

Him always getting flushed when he whispers how much he loves you because it’s pretty unbelievable for him to be in love.

Always admiring you, he treasures every moment he has with you.

Finding you very attractive when you hold his sword.

NSFW

Him adoring to finger you.

And eating you out.

Usually, he would suck your skin or your nipples when fingering you.

Whispering sweet nothings to you.

Dirty talking when he feels particularly rough.

Hickies.

Riding him.

All the positions.

Regularly having sex.

Him only drinking your blood if you absolutely want to

He’s such a giver, sometimes he feels a little shy about receiving a blowjob or anything that benefits him more than it benefits you.

 Him being wiling to try new things only because he entirely trusts you and will respect his choice if there is something he doesn’t like or doesn’t want to try anymore.

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[darkpoisonouslove]

“Revenge of the Trix” Thoughts

Diving into this second special and I have to say that I am actually quite excited to see how this will go. It was fun comparing the first special to season 1 even though I kinda expected to be angered. But good news! I wasn’t. Not so much at least and I really hope that pattern will continue.

- I am not quite sure but I think they changed the timeline a little bit. Though, if it means I get the festival of the rose or that battle with the witches in Magix, I am down! I doubt it but I will hold on to my hopes until they get dashed!

- I am still puzzled by Faragonda’s remark about the “powerful forces here at work”. What does that mean? Who is she talking about? She can’t be wary of Daphne so what the hell is happening? Was she concerned at the possibility of Bloom having Dragon Fire? I really hope they will explain some of this. But I like that they added the fact that Daphne was the princess of Domino. It wasn’t in the original of this scene and I am glad they changed that.

- Okay, without the bike rescue and the way the dialogue in that scene is reworked, the Riven and Darcy stuff is way more disturbing than it used to be! She straight up spelled him without any connection being made outside of that and it just looks way too creepy. Not to mention that it does a disservice to Riven’s character as well because if Darcy never rescued him, he has no other reason to be meeting her other than “I don’t care about my friends, just about being great”.

- Spring break? Wow! We really sped through that school year.

- Was that montage from Gardenia in the original? I don’t quite remember that but it is cute as hell! And to end it with Mike and Vanessa hugging while happily watching their daughter? I will go sob now if you’ll excuse me. Beautiful.

- Wait, she’s dreaming of the night Mike saved her from the fire (instead of, you know, the fire in the flower shop)? And by the looks of it, in this she doesn’t know that she’s adopted like she did in 4kids season 1... I am actually in trepidation over this next scene.

- Well, that scene went better than I thought it would. But she really didn’t know about being adopted. I am just glad that she didn’t get mad they hadn’t told her the truth. It would have broken my heart. And they are her parents anyway.

- Omg, Bloom is asking all the right questions! I cannot believe it! I am absolutely ecstatic that they changed that part because now it is really making sense (I had given up on ever saying that in regards to Winx Club again so I vote my decision to watch the specials “fucking spectacular”). She connected the dots about getting her powers from her birth parents! I have been so salty about her not asking that in season 1 but they fixed it! Imma go happy sob again.

- Faragonda is showing her stuff now? Of her own volition? Nice! I just don’t think the “Daphne lived in a lake” thing makes sense. Didn’t her soul go there after her body was destroyed by the curse of Sirenix? That is different! And considering Faragonda’s past with the Company of Light, that is not all that she knows about Daphne so she’s kinda lying.

- Now that she saw the crown, does that mean that they don’t get to waste time going to Domino even though her powers were inside her all along? I really, really hope so! And the way Daphne presented the crown to her could be taken as symbolism about Daphne passing it down to her now that Bloom is the only living heir to the throne of Domino. That was a cool detail and a great change imo (especially if they aren’t gonna go to Domino).

- Well, Lucy’s PoV was kinda made more... understandable, I guess? Like, the wording was better... right before the very end of that argument between her and Mirta. That was somehow meaner than what happened in s1. But I actually like the change to the scene with Mirta casting her spell to spy on the Trix. I think it makes more sense than the way it was done in s1.

- How does she know there is an archive in Cloud Tower when she has never been there? I think this scene suffers from the changes. And it is also really convenient that she decided to break into CT just in time for the Trix to trick her. I think those scenes were backwards in s1 and it was after the Trix saw her in CT that they came up with their plan which was better because it didn’t look so staged. Also, “What are friends for?” Yeah, right, Sky. Friends. Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. And you weren’t totally on a date.

- That scene with the Specialists was pretty intense considering its length. Since when is Brandon being the cautious one? While Timmy is like “Sure I’ll help you commit major offense against school rules, no probs”? I could take Brandon’s behavior as a best friend’s worry and Timmy’s as a friend’s desire to help out but it still seems a bit out of place. I am just glad that Sky is taking care of the tactics instead of just throwing himself at it.

- And there is no defense system or anything here. I can’t tell if that’s good or bad. It was kinda random when it popped up in s1 (never to be seen again, mind you) but it seems a bit illogical for the school to not have some kind of protection (especially if it has powerful spells inside). Idk.

- I am stunned by Sky’s absolute dumbassery that is bordering on being an asshole (and even tipping right into it). What does it matter if she’s a witch? She is still the same Bloom she was before she learned it, wtf, dude? (Not to mention that this pisses me off greatly because it implies that all witches are pure evil.) I just can’t understand why Bloom didn’t wonder how she has a fairy form then. She can turn into a fairy and that is pretty solid proof that she isn’t a witch. Why didn’t she question it?

- Awww! I love how worried Winx are for Bloom! And I think they’re skipping classes (and risking to get in big trouble with Griselda) to go look for her. True friendship!

- What is she doing sleeping in the bushes? And why doesn’t she just try to fly there? You know, get some proof for herself that she’s a fairy since she has the wings and all?

- Why is Stormy just setting random patches of grass on fire? I agree with Darcy, it can be dangerous if she sets the whole forest on fire.

- “Why would we be so cruel? For giggles.” XDDD

- They changed Mirta’s powers to transforming emotions into energies? That is kinda cool but isn’t that what all magic does?

- The Dragon just swept the Trix away? Is that what happened? It looked like it just fucked off into the sky without doing shit but I digress. But aww at the way Tecna scooped up Bloom so carefully! It was adorable!

- If I were Bloom, I would leave Sky a very angry message and he’d have to give a real good apology for me to take him back. The moment she appeared to be something he didn’t expect, he pulled away from her. That is not someone you want to be in a relationship with. I just wish Bloom would figure out that she can do better. If he shallow like that, you don’t need him, hon. (But hey, don’t blame Kiko! And that wasn’t bad advice! If you want to talk to someone, you should fucking call them! That was good advice.)

- Oh, no! No, no, no, no! Please, not the Day of the Royals! I beg of you! Though, it will have to happen because that is what makes Bloom go back to Gardenia where the Trix corner her. But what will happen with the Diaspro story? Bloom knows that Sky is Sky. Though, he still didn’t tell her he was engaged so I guess there can be drama over that. Ugh, why?

- “That’s a relief”? Fuck you, Sky! So her not being a witch is what makes or breaks this relationship - actually, pardon me, THIS FRIENDSHIP according to his own definition - and not, you know? Her goddamn personality maybe? Damn, what a fucker. Seriously, he is so much worse than in s1. Bloom should really stop wasting time on his sorry ass and go snatch Diaspro for herself instead. Why does he have a picture of Diaspro btw? He does not really care for her... like, at all. Not that he cares for anyone, apparently.

- Oh, so now he loves Bloom? Also, great going, Timmy! Yeah, just suggest breaking off a royal engagement. Without even asking what the political situation is. That is not the best idea. I mean, there was the possibility that Eraklyon needed that marriage. Which, of course, they don’t but still. It ain’t that simple. (God, I hate giving Sky an excuse but this really is a complicated situation. Though, he could have just told Bloom about the arranged marriage instead of lying to her.)

- She could have just waited instead of going for the option of getting them all in trouble. It was only one day. But at least Winx tried to talk her out of it instead of being right there with her in the impulsiveness. And yet, they still decided to support her like friends do. That is cute!

- “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.” Ya think? And yes, being around Erendor and Samara is definitely not a great experience.

- Ooh, she saw Sky directly with Diaspro! Damn, that changes things. And I hate to admit it but it makes more sense because at least now she has a solid reason to jump to conclusions.

- Oh, no! She thinks it is the Trix again. Honestly, I just wish she would have seen Sky for the lying piece of shit that he is! It would have saved so much trouble. I feel bad for Diaspro, though. She just got attacked without having done anything to deserve it. Shocking, I know. But none of this was her fault.

- Sky really did that with Riven? I thought he would be more mature than Riven but nope. He is really campaigning for asshole of Red Fountain. I know Riven started this but Sky has previous offenses against both Bloom and Diaspro so he takes the cake.

- Codatorta was very quick into action. It was kinda impressive. I see that the conflict between Griffin and Faragonda is non-existent here. “I see it’s not just my students who can behave badly”? This coming from Griffin? That has the exact opposite tone of her line in the original. It’s kinda like “Well, we’re in this together because obviously neither my, nor your students know what the hell they are doing.” Though, it can still be taken as a subtle dig as in “You thought you had the high ground when you sent me back the Trix but look at what your fairy has done!”. That actually sounds more like it, though her tone of voice was still a bit too soft for a confrontation.

- Hey, no nightmare monster? But does that mean that the Trix don’t get expelled from CT?

- Aww, I wish she wouldn’t just leave her friends behind! And that montage of memories. (But what the heck is Tecna doing at that fountain? Get down from there, Tecna! I thought you were the reasonable one!)

- How do the Trix know Bloom is from Gardenia? It sounds like they are the bestest of friends with her instead of mortal enemies.

- Awwwwww! Mike and Vanessa keep being so supportive! I love it!

- I actually think I like how they reworked this scene! Icy dropped them in the portal thingy (whatever the hell it was) to force Bloom to transform and lower her guard at the same time and I think it made some more sense than the original did.

- “Our ancestral witches”? That sounded kinda weird. I was just about to say in my conclusion for this special that they dropped the Daphne storyline halfway through this but I see they haven’t. I am pleasantly surprised! And Bloom actually learns that she is her sister (which for some reason was missing from the 4kids dub) as well as all the stuff about Domino. Well, all in very vague terms but still.

- I actually prefer the original way they plucked the fire out of her. It was more jarring while here the animation was just a tad bit too smooth for what it needed to accomplish.

- Oh, and here her fairy form just vanished after they took the flame? I love that! It was the one thing that instantly told me that she still had her powers in s1 because she still had her winx for a while after they took it from her. But here it disappeared the moment the Trix took off with her power. I am curious to see if it is actually gone. Though, I can understand how believing she doesn’t have it anymore can get in the way of her transforming because magic comes from emotions.

This was actually better than I thought it would be and I went in with some expectations because of the first special! I am so pleasantly surprised! The plot carried well throughout this one as well and I supported about 95% of the changes they made from the original storyline which is a lot more than I expected! There was a thing or two that didn’t make much sense, but overall, this was pretty logical! My nitpick would be with the title of this special because the Trix weren’t all that central to it and there was no revenge whatsoever here. I would call it more of a hunt, really. So that would’ve been better if it had been something else having to do with Bloom since she remained at the front and center the whole time... And that didn’t annoy me at all. Wow! I kinda wish they will rework all the seasons into specials now if they can make me like Bloom (though, I admittedly had my moments of that in s1 as well. It is just that the later on we go, the more I can’t stand her). Now I am hyped about the next one and I really hope I won’t be disappointed because it will be such a shame after the good work in this one. (Oh, and the rest of Winx didn’t have much role in this one but I was actually so absorbed in the Bloom storyline that I didn’t notice until this very moment. Man, these specials are really working a miracle here!)

[365days365movies]

February 22, 2021: Pillow Talk (Part 2)

Back to some old-fashioned Pillow Talk!

I’m genuinely enjoying this movie, not gonna lie. But OK, let’s jump into Part 2! First part of the Recap is right here!

Recap (2/2)

Seems like things are starting to get a bit more personal, as the two are talking to each other on the phone, while in their own separate baths.

He asks her on a date, and she breaks an existing date with Jonathan to accept. The next day, Alma insists that she go for him, and she agrees. Jonathan finds out, and is upset by this. Again, he’s the thirstiest man on Earth, so he’s offended that his thirst can no longer be quenched when Jan admits that she is in love with him.

He tries vary hard to get her not to go with him, noting that she’d have to move the Texas to be with “Rex Stetson”, but she seems not to mind much, and he says that he only wants her to be happy. Well, good for Jonathan. I’m glad he’s moving...oh, he hires a detective to figure out who he is? Like a fuckin’ sociopath? GODDAMN IT JONATHAN

Brad also shows up at the office as Jan’s leaving, and narrowly avoids it by ducking into an OB/GYNs office, which results in a weird but admittedly funny scene. When both Jan and Brad are back home, Brad gives her a call, Once again manipulating her, this time by convincing her that...Rex is...gayyyyyyyy...

That is...that’s so ironic, it’s BEYOND ironic, and I don’t know how to feel about it. It’s, just...goddamn. Anyway, Jonathan finds out via his private detective EXACTLY who “Rex Stetson” is. That night, Jan and “Tex” go to a nightclub, where Doris Day gets to show off her pipes with the song “Roly Poly”, which is cute.

And that’s when Brad...starts to intonate certain, uh...tendenciGAY. HE PLAYS GAY. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, THIS MOVIE IS DATED AS SHIT. However, this is just another manipulation by Brad to make the prospect of Jan kissing him more possible. She goes to powder her nose.

And that’s when Jonathan shows up! See, Jonathan’s obviously pissed off by Brad’s manipulations, and while Jonathan’s thirst levels are reaching desert-traveler status, I do get his irritation. Brad’s a dick. Anyway, he tells Jonathan that he wants him to finish writing the songs that he’s funded...in his cabin in Connecticut. Brad agrees, but unbeknownst to him, he also asks Jan to come along.

She calls Brad to gloat, of course not knowing the truth. Ugh. Anyway, they head off to the cabin together that weekend, right under Jonathan’s nose. But he finds out pretty quickly, and angrily heads to Connecticut after the couple.

The couple, meanwhile, is doing VERY well. What can I say, the Connecticut air is romantic, I guess. But Brad’s still trying to hide the truth, including that of his music, which he brought along with him to appease Jonathan. But unfortunately for him, she loves him...A LOT. So, when he leaves his sheet music in his coat, and she picks up his coat to feel his warmth, and than plays the music on the piano...

Remember how he played the music over the phone all the time? Yeah. that comes back to bite him pretty significantly.

JIG’S UP MOTHER FUCKER

She IMMEDIATELY grabs her shit, and Jonathan shows up AT THAT SECOND, and she asks him to take her home. She’s obviously (and understandably) pretty crushed, and cries the entire way back to New York. Geez, Brad’s a DICK. And although he’s a thirsty motherfucker, Jonathan actually does treat her pretty well.

They go to a diner, and she’s still sobbing, while the diner patrons watch. So, Jonathan...Jonathan slaps her to snap her out of it. GODDAMN YOU 1959, STOP SLAPPING WOMEN. Well, Jonathan gets his mostly undeserved comeuppance for that, as two diner patrons who’ve COMPLETELY misunderstood the situation knock him out cold. Which is...also kind of hilarious.

After the weekend, Brad returns to Jonathan, who’s FINALLY given up on Jan, and only after ALL OF THE CLUES IN THE WORLD. Brad reveals that he wasn’t able to get anything done, because he couldn’t stop thinking of Jan, and the two men realize that Brad is legit IN LOVE with Jan. Who despises him completely. And who shows up to the office building but Jan herself? Here we fuckin’ go.

She immediately leaves once she sees him, he tries to talk to her, accidentally follows her into the ladies’ bathroom, exits quickly, bumps into the nurse of the OB/GYN office, who sees him leave the room, then runs back to Jonathan’s office. She gets the OB/GYN, he scolds her for letting him get away again, because based on the previous scene, he believes that Brad might be a man who has “crossed a new frontier,” and it’s funny as shit. It’s dated as fuck, yeah, but I still found that scene funny, not gonna lie.

Brad continues to scheme about the whole situation, and Jonathan lets drop the name of one person closest to Jan: Alma, her cleaning lady. With the help of a bellhop, Brad finds Alma, who’s a fan of his. He invites her for a drunk (her favorite past-time, apparently), and she accepts. She then proceeds to DRINK HIM THE FUCK UNDER THE TABLE! WHOOOOOOOOO, GO ALMA!

She comes up with a solid-ass plan: Brad will hire Jan to decorate an apartment, with him. He barely remembers the plan the next day, but Jonathan helps him set up the affair. Reluctantly, Jan accepts the job though Pierot, convinced that nothing will happen. But Pierot was also in on the affair, and Jan heads to Brad’s apartment.

Jan arrives at the apartment, where she discovers the futuristic hook-up gadgets that Brad’s hooked up in his apartment, including a remote-control fold-out sofa bed. Damn, I wish my aunt had that when we used to stay with her in NYC, because setting up that shit was a PAIN IN THE ASS. Anyway, she tosses some shade in his direction, and he states that he will let her completely remake his apartment to one that she’d be comfortable in. She reluctantly agrees.

However, this turns out to be a TERRIBLE IDEA, and it’s now Jan’s idea to be the asshole. I mean, I get it, but there goes literally ANY SEMBLANCE of professional dignity. She tells him to move out until the apartment is done. He does exactly that, and also breaks it off with every girl he’s currently with. She, on the other hand, takes the time to essentially DESTROY HIS APARTMENT. Um...Jan? I get the whole REVENGE IS A DISH deal, but you’re losing the high ground here.

And yet...when you see the apartment...it’s funny as shit. Because she DEMOLISHED that shit. And he’s pissed, and I don’t blame him. And so, he...you know what, I think so many lines have been crossed at this point that it doesn’t even matter. He goes to her apartment and literally DRAGS her out of bed, and carries her all the way back to his apartment. And I’d say that she doesn’t deserve this, but...eh, she kinda does. I mean, so did he, to be fair...and you get my point about the lines thing?

He carries her DOWN THE STREET in this blanket and her pajamas, it’s also pretty goddamn funny, and then admits not only that he loves her, but genuinely wants to marry her.

And somehow, GODDAMN SOMEHOW, after ALL OF THAT SHIT...they get together. Like for real. 3 months later, Brad’s on the way to Jonathan’s office to tell him some good news. But the OB/GYN and his nurse see him, and try to take him back to their office. He insists that he has to tell Jonathan the good news: he’s going to have a baby!

And that’s when they DRAG him back to the OB/GYN office, kicking and screaming. And that’s funny as shit for some reason. And it’s also...

That was the surprisingly funny Pillow Talk! Also the somewhat problematic Pillow Talk, but we’ll get there later, won’t we? See you in the Review!

[ryik-the-writer]

Chapter 27: 

A03

           Chapter 1: Pan meets a Wendy

·         Chapter 2: Scars (Felix’s Story)

·         Chapter 3: Day One

·         Chapter 4: Revenge and Fireflies

·         Chapter 5: Brighter than Stars

·         Chapter 6: filler: The Tigress

·         Chapter 7: Operation Spotless!

·         Chapter 8: Operation Spotless: Reporters Down

·         Chapter 9: A Dance with the Devil

·         Chapter 10: filler: Felix and the Pancake

·         Chapter 11: The Girl with Blue Eyes pt. 1

·         Chapter 12: The Girl with Blue Eyes pt. 2

·         Chapter 13: The Girl With Blue Eyes: Underground

·         Chapter 14. Recovery

·         Chapter 14.2 Recovery some more

·         Chapter 15: Trapped

         Chapter 16: Filth

         Chapter 17: Fairydust pt. 1

         Chapter 18: Fairydust pt. 2

         Chapter 19: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 3

         Chapter 20: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 2

         Chapter 21: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 3

         Chapter 22: Reflections pt. 1

         Chapter 23: Reflections pt. 2

         Chapter 24: Closing

         Chapter 25: Felix is helping Pan

         Chapter 26: Temporary Fix

Wendy—surprisingly—slept better on Pan’s lumpy couch than she did in her own bed most nights.

Well, with exception of the 20-plus pound cat snoring on her chest.

She sat up with a moan, her lungs feeling deflated. The cat yowled in protest at being shifted from his spot so suddenly.

Wendy stretched as her brain started up.

Pan was missing.

Ugh.

The asshole could wait, and, she decided, he could deal with her raiding his kitchen for substance.

Fuzz the cat seemed to think so as well. He circled Wendy’s legs as she walked, demanding he be fed first.

“Okay, okay,” Wendy yawned. This was the reason she was a dog person.

Still, he was cute enough that when she couldn’t locate kibble, she went for a can of tuna wedged into the back of the cabinet.

She smiled as he gobbled the meat down, not at all mourning the loss of the dry food—or his master for that matter.

Wendy nibbled on her lip, wondering just where he went—or with.

Is that what happened, she wondered. Did he see someone he knew and just…dumped her?

August perhaps? Maybe Lily, or even Felix? Tink?

She dug through yesterday’s mess to find her notebook, purposely avoiding their boxes of cases. She flipped to a new page, writing out names to call.

He was somewhere in this town, and he was with someone.

Somehow, someway, she was going to find him.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Pan was indeed with someone—but at the moment he was alone, and very close to chewing off his own hand to get away from him.

“I’m going to fucking rip him apart,” he growled as he fought with the shackles binding him to the meat hook above his head. “I’m going to rip his fucking eyes out and turn them into earrings!”

His arms were becoming numb again so he rested, though the fire spreading through his veins didn’t.

I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna kill him!

He shook his limbs out, trying to keep the movement going as often as he can. This, of course, wasn’t the first time he’d been tied up by some maniac.

Jekyll…

“Motherfucker!”

Yeah, he was going to be fine.  He’d been bound, drugged, beaten, among other abuses he didn’t want to immediately remember.

But there was something much worse to be worried about this time.

He didn’t know what to expect from this new nightmare.

Cruella was pliant. Her goal was clear, and her bloodthirst was acceptable.

Jekyll was mad, but transparent. Pan was certain he hadn’t even had a goal. Just kept riding wave after wave of insanity as it came. In the end one hit him too hard he drowned.

But Jones…Pan couldn’t place him.

He was an enigma. No roots to him or Storybrooke.

Only one this was clear: he was not acting on his own accord.  

I’ve been sent by someone who really wants you dead.

That wasn’t a truly original revelation, but it meant that there was another foe to look out for when he defeated Jones. Someone who knew about Felix and Wendy, and anyone else he gave a freaking damn about.

He flicked his wrists, trying to keep the blood going as much as possible. As much as he wanted to tear Jones’s throat out with his teeth, he’d have to—regrettably— wait. He had no idea who he was up against, and that pissed Pan off more than anything.

“I’m going to fucking kill him!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Tink was at the top of Wendy’s hit list.

She could just see Tink’s form near the window, watering plants it looked like. She kept glancing back, to someone behind her, smiling. Wendy could only guess it was Felix.

They would know, Wendy reasoned. They’ve known Pan much longer than her. They know his patterns, his stomping grounds.

Yet Wendy found herself ducking her head and hurrying down the street as inconspicuously as possible.

She couldn’t face her just yet, not while she was still healing. Besides, she’d probably care less if Pan was missing or not, and Wendy didn’t blame her.

She’d probably care even less that Wendy was looking for him.

She buried such thoughts away, redirecting her focus.

The newspaper was next. Maybe Pan had finally snapped and was demanding that Glass take him off suspension right now. Honestly, she’d be almost relieved to deal with one of his yelling fits…as long as she got to have one afterwards.

The newsroom was very quiet, the few other reporters the Mirror had off on assignments, making her quiet entrance much louder than she wanted it to be.

Sydney noticed her instantly and made a stiff beeline to her, the lines of his back brace clear through his shirt.

“Kid…” he warned exhaustedly.

“I’m not here to fight,” Wendy sighed.

Glass physically sagged. “Thank god. What’s up?”

Wendy chuckled. “I’m looking for Pan.”

Glass tensed once more. “That’s worst, come on in.”

Wendy followed him into his office, the smell of a fresh pot of coffee lingering in the air. It was comforting, and for a moment Wendy had hope things might be okay.

“He hasn’t come in today,” Glass said. “In fact I haven’t seen hide or hair of him since the other day.”

And all hope is lost.

Wendy sagged in her chair, groaning.

“I’m going to kill him,”

Glass chuckled. “Set a date and send me an invitation.”

Wendy scoffed. This was nice. Familiar. If only the brick of anxiety wasn’t weighing her down.

“When did he go missing? What happened?” Glass inquired.

Wendy swallowed, knowing she’d and Pan be in more trouble if she revealed that they were exploring old cases.

“Just hanging out, trying to…find some common ground.” Wendy answered, satisfied that her answer was vague enough to surpass suspicion.

However, Glass gave her a peculiar look.

“You two are spending time together now?”

Wendy felt her face alight. “What? No! Of course not, no!”

Glass barked with laughter. “Relax kid, I’m staying off that train wreck.”

“Do you know where he’d go?” Wendy redirected. “I just... want to be sure he’s okay.”

Glass mused, still smirking at Wendy’s embarrassment.

“Have you talked to Tink or Felix?” he inquired a bit more seriously.

“Not yet,” Wendy admitted, feeling a bit childish. “I’m going to them last, if Tink will see me of course.”

Glass nodded, setting jokes aside.

“Try the diner, and maybe the hospital, just in case.”

Wendy’s stomach turned at the idea, but made herself remain calm. Surely they would know if he was there by now.

“Okay, thanks,” she said, heading to the door.

“Kid!” Glass called after her. He hesitated for a moment, looking a bit paler.

“You know, I only did what I did to keep you both safe, right?”

Wendy smiled mildly at her boss’s conflicted conscience. She hadn’t given Glass’s decision much of a second thought, knowing the alternative would have been jail or straight out firing. Pan had been the only one vocal about it.

“I know,” Wendy nodded, watching as he relaxed as she headed out of the Mirror.  

Yawning, she decided to go to the diner first. Surely someone would have seen him if he’d been there today.

The crisp air cooled the heat on her cheeks, the embarrassment from her conversation with Glass easing some.

She’d have to be more articulate with her story as her search for Pan continued. The last thing she needed was for a rumor to pick up around Storybrooke.

She recalled how quickly word used to spread through her neighborhood back in London. With her parents being such prominent members in their community, eyes were constantly on them. Anytime something would happen—from her brother’s unfortunate trouble with the law, to Mrs. Darling’s cancer diagnosis so short after her mother’s departure—everyone would know in less than a day.

Storybrooke could fit in her old neighborhood, and word spread much quicker.

She would simply ask people for now on if they’d see him, and cut their last interaction off at the hospital where they surely had witnesses during their failed attempt to visit Belle.

Just as she was circling the corner to get to the hospital, the sound of a loud engine began to grow just behind her. Wendy glanced back and saw someone on a motorcycle coming her way, and she turned to face it when the motorcycle stopped right in front of her.

Wendy felt the wall, all the apprehension she’d built up in the past several weeks keeping her on edge.

In a flash however, her fear turned into embarrassment when the rider removed his helmet, revealing August’s Booths smiling face.

“August.” Wendy gasped, her face going red when she recalled the last time she saw him at Peter’s apartment. “I was…actually looking for you.”

“Oh,” August replied, eyebrow quirked in amusement, leaning onto his handlebars.

“For Pan,” Wendy croaked, throat awkwardly dry. “I lost him.”

“Just shake his food bowl, he’ll come back,” August chuckled.

Wendy couldn’t help but smile at the image. “Have you seen him in the last day or so?”

“Not since the last time I saw you,” August smirked.

Wendy wished the ground would open up and swallow her.

Thankfully, August sensed her distress and cease his teasing.

“Have you tried the Mirror? Maybe Tink?”

“Yes and…” Wendy groaned, realizing she’d have to tear the band aid off and face Tink once and for all.

August saw her expression and frowned. It was no secret that Pan had done major damage within the town. Tink had high regard in Storybrooke, from the nuns to the drunks she would slip free coffee to. Everyone knew she was hurting, and the town would want blood if they found out.

Yet they didn’t know Pan’s involvement, even if a select few did.

But August knew. He knew from the moment Pan called him at 1 a.m. the night Mother Superior died and pleaded with him to meet him outside the Mirror.

He knew from the light coming through the second story window of the paper.

He knew it when he saw the look on his face when he was locking the door—and when he gripped his sleeve and took him back to his apartment.

“You want to tell me what happened?”

“No.”

Pan was feeling.

He hadn’t realized until word of Mother Superior’s death got to him just how serious the situation was, and that somehow the blame had been shifted to the woman in front of him.

“You know,” August said. “He does stuff like this a lot. Maybe just let him breathe. He’ll come back when he’s ready.”

Wendy looked up at August, this strange man who had such a strong link to Pan.  

She wanted to take his advice but…something was wrong. She could feel it just on the surface of her bones.

Like a sickness…

“Maybe,” Wendy finally answered. “I’ll look around anyway.”

August frowned, but nodded his consent. It really wasn’t his business, no matter his relationship with Pan.

“If you say so,” he said, putting his helmet back on before heading off down the street.

Wendy bit at her lip, exhaustedly turning back to the direction of Tink’s apartment. This would suck, but it was  her last resort.

She had to find him—bothersome moron that he was. She had to fix the damage she helped caused—by making him see the light.

She stood outside of Tink’s door for what felt like hours, wondering just how she could approach the woman without getting thoroughly thrashed.

She’d probably would scream at her, which Wendy couldn’t blame her for—even if they both knew none of this was her fault.

Still, Wendy would take a good thrashing if it meant her and her friend could just talk. It was time, past time at that.

Just as she summoned the courage to knock, the door swung open just enough for Felix to ease through, closing the door softly behind him.

“You’re asking for trouble,” Felix greeted through a clenched jaw, closing the door softly behind him.

“I’m not here for that,” Wendy assured, though she knew good and well it was unavoidable.

“She’s not ready,” Felix warned, nearly desperate.

Wendy frowned, staring at the door that separated her from Tink. She wondered if the woman even knew she was here, if she was just on the other side listening, waiting.

“I’m actually here for Peter,” Wendy said.

Felix stiffened, and Wendy could see a secret just behind his eyes.

“I’m looking for him,” Wendy clarified. “Here…I mean…is he here?”

“No,” Felix answered, his body sagging some.

“Have you seen or heard from him since the other night?” she questioned, her jaw clenching when she saw his face.

There was something there. Call journalist intuition or common sense, but Felix was trying to keep something from her.

“Felix…what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Felix shook his head. “You need to go. Please.”

Wendy swallowed a hard lump in her throat. It hurt to be dismissed so coldly by the one person she’d been on such even ground with.

“Fine.” She said, turning on her heel quickly.

Fine.

No one knew, and no one was going to be able to help her.

She was alone and Pan was gone.

And for whatever reason, he didn’t want to be found.

Maybe Glass and August were right, perhaps she should leave him be, let him sweat out whatever toxin had found its way into his blood.

Maybe he was simply being his usual bastard self and dropping her the second they were making progress.

Wendy tried not to let the pain from that idea settle in. She should be used to such a thing by now, should be used to him hating her.

She was circling into the diner—just a peak, she swore, for Pan—when an immediately recognizable man came into view.

“There you are!” Killian Jones greeted from his place at one of Granny’s outside tables.

“Mr. Jones,” Wendy swallowed, her cheeks heating up as she remembered their last, very odd, encounter.

Jones twisted back just enough to single to a near-by waitress, making some kind of signal with his hand that caused her to nod and hurry back inside.

“I…” Wendy began to protest, still unsure just where she stood with the man who had kept her from bashing her brains in twice now.

“I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I ordered us the same thing,” Jones said as he motioned at the chair across from him.

Wendy gulped, itching to run and barricade herself somewhere safe. Who is this man and what was his interest in her? Yes he helped her, and she applauded him for that, but why the pursuit?

She couldn’t help but think that Pan would know.

Before she could dismiss herself, the waitress came out with two to-go cups, sitting them in front of Killian who nodded his thanks before taking the one closest to him.

“Irish coffee, hold the Irish,” he laughed.

Wendy blinked. Well, at least he wasn’t trying to get her drunk.

He stared at her as he sipped his coffee, waiting, and by the looks of it, hoping.

Wendy made a sound. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, and really he’d been a gentlemen during their previous encounters.

Also, a little caffeine might make her feel better. What was the harm in one drink?

Wendy took the provided drink and held the warm cup close, waiting until he took a sip from his before she followed suit.

“What happened when you found him?”

Wendy blinked. “Pardon?”

“Your fellow, the one who left you at the club last night. Did you give him a what for?”

Wendy snorted, hiding her grief behind a smile.

“Not yet,” Wendy said, tapping her cup. “But I think I’ll take a break from looking for him for a while.”

Jones eyebrows rose. “Oh really?”

“He doesn’t want to be found right now ,” Wendy said, more to herself than to the stranger in front of her.

“Indeed,” Jones laughed, hiding his smile behind his cup. “Don’t let him steal your good days, lass. You never know when they’ll run out.”

Wendy arched an eyebrow in question. What an odd thing to say.

Jones didn’t seem like an odd man—or at least he was odd enough for Storybrooke’s standards.

He was clean-cut, and had a fondness for leather jackets it would seem. And of course he was uniquely handsome; she hadn’t seem a pair of eyes that blue since Belle.

It was odd that the other day was the first time they had come across one another; especially since he seemed to be around every corner now.

Wendy felt a tenseness in her throat. Strangers were meant to keep one weary; that was taught human nature. But strangers in Storybrooke seemed to be a whole different species. Carnivores if she had to label them properly.

Psychopaths.

“Have I lost you already?”

Wendy blinked, finding Jones staring at her, amused.

“My apologies,” Wendy smiled, “I was just trying to make a decision.”

“Oh,” Jones responded. “About?”

“You.” Wendy answered bluntly. “I’m trying to decide just who you are and whether I’m doing the smart thing by allowing myself to be so close to you.”

Jones listened to her, his expression not betraying what he was feeling.

“I find it just a bit odd, that I don’t know you at all but I’m here having coffee with you as if we’re old friends,” Wendy stared harder at him, hoping he’d say or do something that would give him away. Something that would reveal he was like everyone else she’d come across with.

Cruella.

Jekyll.

Monsters.

But Jones simply smiled, and to Wendy’s chagrin, his eyes filled with sympathy, as if her damaged psyche was spread out before them.

“Perhaps we knew each other in a past life?” he offered kindly.

Wendy groaned and covered her face. What the hell was she doing? She was accusing a man who had honestly saved her from having her brains bashed in twice of someone else’s crimes. She was being a suspicious ninny, and it was below her...

It was something Pan would do.

Pan got to you. You’re just as filthy and selfish as he is.

Wendy jolted. “No!”

“What,” Jones jumped. “What is it?”

Wendy shook her head, willing any of the god-awful thoughts in her head to simply fly away.

“I’m sorry Mr. Jones,” Wendy sighed. “I’m afraid I’ve been mulling far too much lately. Not exactly the best company.”

“On the contrary, I’ve found you be exceptional company so far,” Jones shrugged.

Wendy snorted. He certainly had manners. He almost reminded her of the boys in her social circle back in London. Overly polite with the weight of an entire society on their shoulders. Walking midlife crises.

But Killian Jones was no boy. He was a man, and the darkness under his eyes showed her that perhaps he wasn’t the nicest one. Wendy blushed when she felt her heart begin to pound at the thought. It was nearly shameful that such a well-bred lady like herself would even think of a man like him in such a light.

Then again, Pan was about the same. At least Jones had some kind of pedigree.

“So why me?” Wendy asked bluntly, eyeing him carefully. “What’s with the sudden…interest?”

Killian Jones tilted his head, smiling at her indulgently. It embarrassed Wendy a bit, making her feel almost like a child. Overly paranoid.

“Let’s see,” Hook mused, leaning back in his chair, feigning deep thought. “I had just docked and was enjoying the scenery when suddenly,” he paused, staring at Wendy so intensely a shiver ran up her spine.

“Suddenly, there was this woman and walking down the street. I saw the ice before she did and…”

Wendy gulped. God his eyes…

“And the second she was in my arms, I knew I couldn’t let her get away again.”

Wendy stared at him, her mouth slightly agape. Not the most ladylike reaction, but it suited the insanity of the situation.

Killian Jones was certainly a charmer, and had the air of a gentlemen to woo in any heart-eyed woman.

It would be nice to fall into them, be a foolish young woman who lived the way any woman would. Free, wild and maybe a little careless.

She’d never had a fling before, not even in college. She’d been too studious, too content with being ‘good’. And technically, she was dating Edward at the time.

Not the most exciting time of her life, but not wasted in her opinion. Her hard work brought her here, and even if she wasn’t sure yet if that or not, it had prepared her for the world and its grittiness.

But maybe it had stilled her personal relationships. It had pretty much destroyed the friendship she’d built with Tink, and with Felix too, it would seem.

Gods only knew what it had started or destroyed with Peter.

She outwardly scoffed. She couldn’t call what they had a relationship. He squashed their progress at every turn, the other night was evidence of that.

And now there was the man before her. What kind of a woman just jumped into a relationship with a man they just met? It was ridiculous, and after her run-ins with her various foes, she was understandably uncertain of anything.

She was…damaged.

“You flatter me,” Wendy said honestly, sliding her empty cup aside. “But I…”

Am afraid?

Don’t trust you?

“I’ve come on too strong,” Jones offered, and Wendy nodded reluctantly, and it was rather true. She just didn’t know anymore how to have a normal interaction with another person. Every conversation she’d had up to this point had been a confrontation turned into an act of survival. She didn’t know anymore how to separate that instinct from the calmness in front of her.

He got to you.

“Coffee was a good start.” Wendy said quickly.

“Perhaps…” Jones began with a raised eyebrow. “Dinner could be the next step?”

Wendy smothered a grin. He really was trying, and she felt oddly calm at the thought.

Perhaps…just maybe with Pan sulking in a ditch somewhere…she could try? Maybe with Pan at a distance, without the insanity that lurked in his shadow that always cast her way…she could be-

Normal?

What an odd, lovely thought.

“How about lunch?” Wendy jested. Lunch was smaller, simpler. Small was good. Small was safe.

“I’ll endeavor to be patient,” he agreed, standing. Wendy followed his cue, ducking her blush.

“We’ll run into each other soon, I’m sure.” Wendy said.

“Oh I’d count on it,” he returned, bowing a bit. “Until then.”

Wendy nodded and began to leave, leaving Jones at the table. She could feel his eyes on her as she walked and for the oddest reason it did not make her feel paranoid or on edge.

She was suddenly a normal woman who had just had flirtatious coffee with a polished stranger.

It was inspiring an exciting, and so new to her she could have burst.

She turned then, meeting his sparkling eyes with a smile.

“Wendy Darling.”

He laughed wetly. “Pardon?”

“My name,” she reinstated, the words leaving her lips with ease. “You’ve earned it.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Pan startled awake at the sound of—what the hell—whistling? Why the fuck was his kidnapper whistling!

He glared as Killian Jones entered the underground bunk he was keeping him in, glared even harder when he took off his jacket and casually threw it over a chair before sitting a brown paper bag on the back of a chair.

Pan squinted and could just make out Granny’s logo on the paper.

“Here,” Jones greeted, throwing a foil-wrapped sandwich at his feet.

“And just how the hell am I supposed to eat this?” Pan growled.

“You’re a clever boy, use your imagination.” Jones smirked as he pulled up a stool to sit in front of Pan, staring at him expectedly.

“What’s the point of feeding me if you’re just going to kill me?” Pan spat.

“What can I say, I’m a showman.” Jones shrugged, his thoughts instantly wondering to the pretty blonde distraction he was having to deal with at the moment.

“Why don’t you go ahead and tell me what she knows so I can kill both of you and be done with it.”

Pan yanked against the cuffs, his arms too numb to know if he made a difference or not.

“For the last fucking time, she doesn’t know anything. I don’t even know what the fuck you’re talking about!”

Jones shook his head. “Of course you don’t. Then why did your little lackey request all those files, hmm? Information not even the police wanted, but for some reason you did.”

“I was fucking bored!” Pan shouted. “Do you want me to burn them to a crisp? I’ll burn my whole damn apartment if that will make you shut the hell up!”

Jones smirked. “I wish it were that simple lad, but you hardly seem like the type to let things rest.” He leaned in some more, enough to make Pan slightly more uncomfortable. “Are you?”

Pan didn’t answer. Why would he? The answer was already obvious.

“She’s the kicker, isn’t she?” Jones mused. “And she was so concerned about you. Tell me, would she keep digging after you die?”

Pan’s eyes narrowed.

“Or maybe she’s be happy that you were gone.”

Pan caught how his smirk drooped some, and how his eyes hardened.

“Tell me something lad,” Jones began, leaning in some. “Why is she so on edge when it comes to you.”

Pan held off a smart remark, wanting to put the blame on all their misadventures.

But it would have come back to him. It always would.                                      

“Did you hurt her?”

Pan’s throat tightened. Of course he had, and he never had to lay a hand on her to do it.

When he didn’t answer, Jones stood. He’d have to lay his suspicion to rest and focus on why he was here. He had to regroup and find out how to get Wendy to talk without making her suspicious, which judging by today, would be a lot harder than he’d thought it would be.

That’s fine though.

“She has nothing to do with this!” Pan croaked as Jones began to leave.

“I’ll find that out for myself,” Jones sighed.

“Stop!” Pan yelled out before he was locked away once again.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

August stood outside Pan’s apartment, ringing his phone for what had to be the tenth time that hour.

He wasn’t answering, which wasn’t a surprise, but something still felt off. When Pan did things like this, he was always back within a day or so, the quiet getting to him quickly.

With an aggravated sigh he got back on his motorcycle and began to head back to the woods, already deciding to go to Felix first thing in the morning. Felix kept better track of Pan than he did, and even if his relationship with Tink was keeping them apart, there was no doubt Felix wouldn’t know something.

He glanced down and noticed his gas tank was nearly empty and shifted towards the docks where the closest gas pump was.

He signaled to the attendant behind the glass and began to fill up, sighing exhaustedly as he looked out into the ocean in the distance.

Things had certainly been a lot more interesting in the sleep town lately. Sure, Pan and his antics usually kept things very lively, the bouts of excitement have become more of a constant occurrence than the usual spontaneous happenings since Wendy got involved.

He smirked when he thought about the blonde spitfire. She didn’t realize yet just how loyal she was to him yet, like most people didn’t.

It would be interesting to see what she would do next, what they would do next together.

Pity, he liked the casual fling he had with Pan, but the wild boy needed someone constant in his life. Someone could tame him just enough to keep him out of trouble.

August scoffed. Like Peter Pan would ever stay out of trouble.

As he waited for this tank to finish filling up, he pulled out his cell phone to give him one more ring before calling it a night.

His hand was poised on the gas handle when a very familiar song rung out in the air.

August’s heart leapt, and he moved away from the gas pump to follow it, ready to call again if the sound stopped.

Within a moment he found Pan’s cracked phone buried in a mess of dried grass near what used to be the town’s cannery.

The battery was on 11 percent. He hadn’t been gone long at all!

He looked up, hoping to see some evidence of Pan along the docks, but there was nothing there but a few shacks, seagulls, and oddly antiquish ship tied off several yards away.

 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Whoa…this took three months…whoa.

Yeah, work takes a lot of my concentration, and this last month has been especially hectic with the coronavirus. As a journalist, I really don’t get a day off -_-* but you know…

I’m especially having problems writing Hook. I’m trying to remember pre-season 3B when I actually liked him but then I think about how icky he became and I just…ugh.

Gonna have to take it slow with this arc, but will update soon…maybe…