#cus like sure you can say it doesnt change that much but it does!!! its sooo important to know that sasuke is being honest when he calls

[sasukeless]

back to complaining about translations but i just again came across an old post that basically was analyzing sasuke calling naruto his one and only and saying it was him being sarcastic/not truthful because he was throwing naruto’s previous words at him in this panel

and im just… this panel is wrong. the speech bubble and naruto’s thoughts are flipped. naruto did not call sasuke his one and only here, he was remembering sasuke calling Him his closest friend.

anyway it’s a tricky panel because it’s in many pages when you read the manga. like i’m not free of sin because i remember i have posted too when i couldn’t find one with the correct placement. (also i feel like naruto saying there’s no way he’d able to leave sasuke alone holds more meaning than i can’t let that happen but whatever Whatever details) but anyway this is also an scene you can watch the anime clip and see what is naruto saying. but my point is that One simple misplacement in the translation can literally lead to people misinterpreting something completely different and in this case denying sasuke’s feelings and characterization. and it’s just well. sad

[lux1fer]

oopsies i forgot to show you guys the finished product of this yeah a few weeks ago the rp actually finished completely. im really happy with how this animatic came out and id definitely be willing to finish it. itd definitely take me a year at the least though this rp means the world to me. im gonna be emotional for a second sorry folks but like i havent had this much fun in a roleplay since my old warrior cat rp days- even then they were never as good as this one was. none gave me this much whimsy a thank you to @interncontinental for hosting this amazing rp. you're awesome /gen anyways, timestamps below ! this is gonna be. another wall of text.Again. so cw for text wall if ur prone to seizures caused by text. ive tried spacing the text out to help but it's probably still pretty bad, so forewarning !

0:00 ink and error (alongside many others) are trapped in this safehouse(the multiverse outside it is collapsing) which. as the name depicts. keeps them safe the safehouse has a dome surrounding it that's miles thick with concrete, metal, all that 0:13 error REALLY does not like being trapped here, so he tried breaking through the walls with his blasters 0:26 ink attempts to convince him not to (as it is against the rules to break the walls) but error doesn't listen. they have a big fight and error ends up breaking the dome's outer layer- which is what essentially lights up the entire place, and gives the illusion they're on earth. 0:51 he, alongside ink, are sent to a dungeon as punishment. (they end up making a friend there) and they use the owner of the dome's aunt to bribe him into letting everyone out. 1:17 error and the owner end up having a private discussion, in which error realizes the owner- the guy he DESPISED, was exactly like him. they both killed multiverses. they both killed people for fun. 1:22 he ends up having a fight with his own morals, before deciding he'd change for the better. 1:29 error frees the owner's aunt in exchange for the freedom of the people locked in the dungeon with him. 1:42 while he's walking out of the dungeon, he apologizes to ink for everything he's done 1:45 error walks back to his room and cries. 1:48 ink ends up pushing a chocolate bar with a note on it through the crook at the bottom of error's door the note says he forgives him. error cries again because of it. 1:51 ink and error end up hugging

1:52 eventually, ink realizes that he's run out of his lil emotion vials due to the corruption of the multiverse, which is an issue ! 1:59 due to ink's rapidly decaying health, error decides to give up half of his soul to save the guy from going kaput! this causes even more issues 2:04 nightmare- who had come to the safehouse, decides to mess with error's mind. he convinces him to get back into his old habits, under the pretense that he's weak and pathetic otherwise. error believes this. (also nightmare was redesigned by a friend of mine- her name is al! she doesnt have tumblr i dont believe though so raghh i cant ping her) 2:17 in what can only be described as a mental breakdown, error attempts to take back the half of his soul he gave to ink 2:30 error hesitates- he doesn't truly want to hurt ink, though he's not too sure why. 2:36 (its not on screen cus i couldn't fit it) error decides to capture and attempt to kill pj and gradient (who are here too!) instead, but this backfires as ink was no longer captured. ink knocks him out with his brush. 2:42 the corruption, which had been kept safely outside of the safehouse, has crept in due to corrupted individuals entering the dome. this forces everyone to escape through a previously blocked up exit the owner had built. 2:44 huge timeskip- essentially, the place they had found to live in after fleeing caught on fire, forcing everyone to run away Again! 2:46 in the new new place they had escaped to, the corruption Also arrived! the location was a cloud castle that floated above an ocean. which was quickly corrupting. the castle collapses, and floods with corrupted water. this scene needs a LOT of context-- the bandaged character by the name of blaze (owned by @teyvawni by the way go check out his stuff) arrived to the safehouse a while ago, with his brother following suit. said brother was corrupted. fresh, paperjam, and gradient were nearby when they arrived, and upon seeing the corrupted individual, fresh decided to commit Murder! this obviously upsets blaze, and he ends up killing both fresh AND pj and gradient- pj and gradient's death being present here. ink is watching 2:47 hinto, who is one of, if not the only friend error made in this roleplay ends up getting brutally murdered. this scene depicts him dying in error's embrace (you will see these two a lot whenever i draw this rp. i love them so much) 2:49 after the cloud castle collapses, they escape to what is essentially just error's void except everything is fluffy everyone present was given a choice- the universe was resetting, as the corruption had completely taken over Everything. including universes seperate from utau. you either stay awake for the 3 trillion years it took to completely reset the entire universe, or you sleep. considering error's friend was now a ghost and he didnt want to waste this time sleeping without spending time with his best friend, he chooses to stay awake for the entire 3 trillion years. 2:51 after those 3 trillion years, error is reasonably Exhausted. everyone else is exploring this new place they arrived in, while he is simply sitting in the corner and observing. he can only really stand speaking with hinto as he watches everyone else bicker and do whatever. 2:52 after error Brutally murders the person who killed hinto (this is not included in the animatic), error, ink, and dream are speaking to eachother in a nearby bamboo forest. nightmare interrupts and attacks ink with dust tagging along. big fight occurs, error and ink are mortally wounded, and are probably hashtag Screwed! 2:56 in a last ditch effort to save the people he cares about, error decides to sacrifice the half of his soul still left to save ink from dying.

soo Yeah! thats it! if this gets like. 20 notes im gunna make a comic based off of this. this isnt to incentivize people to like or reblog (Though that would be pretty swag of you ,, flutters my eyelashes) i just want an excuse :3 ill probably do it either way. eventually

[jam-packed]

i saw someone post abt the netflix show kaos (which is good u should watch it) and during my watch, i did subject my friend to who (in motogp) would best fit the characters in the show.

spoilers cus im gonna explain them within context and talk about the ending and my prayers for a season 2 :( and 3 actually but thats it.

going to separate this in groups of confident to 🤨🤨🤨 yk. anyways.

Set In Stone (to me):

zeus - TOTALLYYYY vale. eccentric bastards, but very entertaining, very likable in the beginning despite their wrongdoings. i feel like in a different world, vale would be wearing tracksuits around his big ass mansion but a guy has to find joy in dressing like a 15 yo boy so props ig (speaking of, i LOVEEE the wardrobe of this show. muy muy bueno to me.....) both have such an intense paranoia on how others receive them and their eternal impact on the world. its all about aging and their race to defy it, but they cant and that comes to be their downfall. regardless, theyre both crazy powerful and crazy in general they are like. the same guy.

poseidon - jorge lorenzo. in some inherent way. poseidon is jorge to me. theres the (for lack of a better term) jealously that poseidon has for zeus (in terms of hera) that jorge has w vale when it comes to personability/marketability. that, and the way poseidon acts is very jorge to me as well. the way he stands like hes in drag race. anyways, theres a nonchalance to poseidon's character and how he interacts with humans that makes me think, "yeah if jorge had this much power, he would act in this way."

hear me out here. hera - dani. not just because hera and poseidon are having an affair, mind you. but yes also mostly that. because im not knowledgeable about dani uh at all im going to base this on how ive seen him ride in the past. dani, to me, is an incredibly strong rider, hes very determined and sound in his efforts. but theres always someone stronger. and while that doesnt inherently mean he is fearful of them, i feel like within the context of the show, hed probably act in the same ways hera does despite how highly she considers herself. hera's a cunt in this and tbh dani is cunt to me with that crazy power i think hed be similar. also im not saying that dani sucks as a rider, its just. the vale/casey/jorge/marc of it all 😕 bad timing

prometheus - casey fuckin stoner, man. were casey and vale ever friends? idk im sure at points. they follow each other on instagram and casey loves to hate so idk. regardless, casey would be totally on board to help a cosmic plan to take down vale, would he kill his wife for it? real vale, no, zeus vale, its reaching towards the table. prometheus and stoner dont have the same humor, but theyre smart, they know how to act. even if casey isnt one for media, he can beat vale on a bike (ducatis on the straights omgggg). and prometheus and zeus are this weird battle of wits and intelligence. im not saying vale is stupid, im saying that he is blind to his insecurities and that can harm him in the same way it hurts zeus in this series.

marc has to have his own segment cus i could make arguments for 4 different characters. walk with me:

riddy/eurydice - stubborn, headstrong, cunt(y), defined moral code. riddy is such an interesting person within this show and i think marc is very similar to her in some respects. one of the main downsides though is the lack of codependency she has with literally anyone. shes not close to a lot of people, shes kinda isolated (from what i interpret, and idk if thats the fault of orpheus but for the sake of ease, lets say riddy does it herself), but she can connect with people easily. marc doesnt really do that. one, no álex, thats never gonna happen; two, he has a hard time being alone, their upbringings are incredibly different, which may have a major part to play in all of that, and that would kinda change who marc is (duh)---if he were alone all his life rather than surrounded by his closest friends and family, as he is now. so, if you want like. bezquez with a sour note, then yeah go marc eurydice, but idk its not my favorite. maybe luca or pecco (pecco is NOT riddy do not listen to me!!!!)

ari/ariadne - the brotherisms go crazy. very similar to riddy in that she is incredibly headstrong. she is not stubborn she is filled with guilt for something she didnt do my sweet lovely little pookiebear i should not be saying that whatever. so, ari's brother is the minotaur (shocker) and i think itd be interesting to explore marc's love for álex despite not knowing he's alive for YEARS (30 fucking years bro free my girl 😭😭😭). regardless, they are both smart, sympathetic to others, and get shit done when it needs to be. i think they match up as people pretty well, but we once again run into the issue of isolation and relationships throughout upbringing. ari does have some very close relationships as we see in the show (for a few episodes and then never again. ok.) like her father and her bodyguard. is that enough? idk maybe. makes me think abt santi........who will come up later actually. all to say, i think theyd make similar decisions to each other, i think marc if put in this story would be ari to an s (close enough, is my joke). anyways, marc is a good ari if you want a calm, semi-levelheaded marc (who kills someone) who will very likely end up with dionysus. but off the dome idk who dionysus could be. hm.

dionysus - he was my favorite in the show im sorry i want my faves to be each other. dionysus is such a character, hes so guy, i need him to get his cat back. ok, so dionysus is the son of zeus and he wants more responsibility/power---upsettingly, because of how marc is as a rider, i think this is why he ISNT dionysus. dionysus is a character that has to grow into himself (by learning about love ❤️) by killing his dad. haha i joke. but cmon. anyways in the context of dionysus's original goal, ehhhh not marc. but dionysus has this (again for lack of a better term) eccentricity that reminds me of marc. they have larger than life qualities but theyre quite mellow outside of that, they want people to be happy, they want love to prevail, if dennis was shiva he would do the exact same things dionysus does with that cat (carry it everywhere). theres a distance dionysus has with humanity that he loses over the course of the series, and i think thats interesting in marc's case cus once again NOT MARC!!! marc, from accounts that arent him (livio suppo is the only name in my mind rn) say that marc is very like. stable. hes a good kid, he doesnt let fame get to him (or at least how he treats others cus wtf is his house), and dionysus's arc is about connecting w humanity and i dont think marc would really have that problem. yes this was a waste of time yes it was just me convincing myself marc cannot logically be dionysus. this is my post man lemme do what i want :(

persephone - a lot of girls here. wonder what that says about how i view marc. womp womp idgaf. so, persephone is queen of the underworld, wife to hades. she LOVES hades and if we're thinking about old men and the young(ish) people that love them. santi. dovi. persephone is not one to lay down and take it, but hades is so gives me smth to play w in terms of who im going to make not a (I HAVE NO BETTER TERMS) pussy. persephone also loves love, she wants to help the gods because she wants to help her husband but she knows that isnt possible with what the gods (ZEUS COUGH COUGH) are asking them to do, so she defies them, she lies to them, she cares for her husband, she feels sympathy for dionysus and helps him to realize zeus is a lying bastard cunt. with great hair. marc to me. again, like ari, he seems the guy to put his money where his mouth he, he WILL do whats best for people cus he knows they deserve it, he wants to help, he will repay kindness, he doesnt forget (dionysus argument actually. repaying kindness this but i digress).

ares - ares literally isnt in the show yet. he got a technical mention in the last moments of the last episode but like idk......based on my knowledge of motogp and greek mythology and also his name is marc i think itd be cool.........put my man in the show give him a sword let him go ham let him kill god vale pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pl

marc my beautiful enigma u cannot be placed. except i think ari is your best bet at accuracy. especially if we're talking human strength and determination, ari n marc brother.

semi confident but could consider others

orpheus - marco bezzecchi. in my heart of hearts, as much as i love bez, he would probably act like orpheus. omggg hes so in love, he WOULD journey to the underworld but also hes a little evil hes a cunt hes a bastard hes cringefail but hes winning. except not really at all. orpheus has this tendency to. self-pity is my best assumption at a word. very whiny man. to me. cus i didnt really feel bad for him throughout the show. anyways, bez does have that intense loyalty that orpheus has, i do think he would do what orpheus does. bez is also kinda a cunt sometimes and i think he would say and do the twat things that orpheus does as well. the hardest part abt bezpheus is like. whos gonna fall out of love with him. you got a lot of options but they all kinda dont make sense yk? pecco just doesnt make sense w the character, cele does make sense he just probably wouldnt fall out of love or be in love in the first place, luca is also an option. luca marini my cringefail bestfriend who is famous and good at sports and doesnt know me, actually yea its luca. honda move, its luca.

riddy (again) - luca. it needs its own section ok i feel like i need to explain myself. luca, currently, looks like he wants to explode and die, he wants out of his fuckass brother's shadow (i dont hate vale im just full of vitriol) and if we transfer those feelings to loveless marriage, do we see how being hit by a truck and shipped off to the underworld and choosing to go to honda (I LIKE HONDA OK IM SORRY) are similar. did riddy choose to die? no its fate she doesnt really have a choice, but grand scheme of things did luca have a choice? idk, talk it up with a philosopher. im a math major, i could care less (lying).

caeneus (i think?) - álex. i think they look similar. i see caeneus and i go omg its álex márquez 2 time world champ in motorsports brother of marc márquez. also theres this weird like almost timidness that caeneus has that i feel is very similar to how álex acts and talks. hes kinda, and this is going to sound so mean to álex, average. however, he is meant for something more, he is more than the surface level by a long shot. and i think thats true for álex as well. caeneus is also very truthful, hes going to get mad at you, if he doesnt wanna tell you shit he wont but hes not gonna walk around it idly, and álex is a marc lie detector so. theres that. again, some downsides, no codependency brothers wth. anyways luca álex ship name. lucquez. aluca. lucalex. rosquez 2 less evil edition. this is so hard cus of fuckin marc bro free me.

not super confident but sure id consider it

dionysus - pecco. vale son, the favorite at some moments, biffs it at others. i dont think pecco has a problem with loving others in the way that dionysus does (aro dionysus slay) but i think theres mentalities that they both have (given by their respective parental figures) that hinder them in similar ways. pecco does not have dionysus's early personality. pecco is very calm, very controlled, (very mindful very demure) but he can also fight with someone after they crash into him, hes not gonna take everything lightly. idk if hes quick to forgive, nor do i know if hes privy to stew in his feelings. one of the primary relationships (thats explored in the show) dionysus has is with zeus. he visits zeus (the only child to do so), he gives zeus gifts (that get rejected), he steals from him (lmao), he defies him (yayy), he gets punished for defying him (NOO FUCK). turbo as dennis ough the thought brings me anguish. anyways, i think with dionysus being a sort of foil to zeus it works with pecco being a foil to vale. evil vale would say flopnaia is a disappointment tho. anyways, if flopnaia were dionysus, hed probably be feeling and doing and saying the same things as d is in the show. would he be as sexually promiscuous? probably not so yk. confidence low. but woah omg very likely marcnaia what a trip.

i dont wanna write an explanation cus this is getting too long but bez could also be considered for dionysus. literally any vr46 boy could lbr.

and tbh anyone else in the cast would confuse the shit outta me i dont know enough people in motogp in that way. i barely know the ones im talking about 😭😭😭 anyways pls diregard everything i said because it makes no sense to try to put people in the correct slots of other media, just write based on the person, not the character you want to portray, thats what makes them interesting, its what allows for different stories and outcomes. all to say i did this for nothing ❤️

[kk0hii]

How did you get into School Zone and what got you hooked on it?

Back then in 2022/2021?? i think? I was searching for some yuri/ GL to read cus i want to read that stuff more and i rlly wants the one that r yk good and stuff

I saw school zone cover but i cant tell if its the yokoe and kei running to the together or yokoe and kei sitting tgt with bunch of other chairs and the keep out sign

Anyway i immediately got hooked cus it looks pretty nice and stuff

I read it and pretty much fall in love

Im sort of always a big fan on slice of life type of media (but im also someone who love some kind of have a depth goin on media or just serious stuff depends on my mood)

At first the school zone seems like some kind of a comedy slice of life manga EXCEPT that its yuri which is amazing cus even though ive seen yuri with slice of life before i havent seen yet the one that r like this

And school zone girls comedy is hella funny especially its amazingly like how it depict on how a teenage girls act

And one thing is im pretty sure school zone girls is made by a woman

Bcs i dont trust that much men to write such an amazing depiction of how a high school girls act ( they always fumble it or just idk it doesnt feel much like it)

And especially school zone girls isnt written to be sexualization or male centered

All of the girls in school zone genuinely have their own personality and also depht! Cus the more u read the manga the more u know about them! Its soo good i love it so much

Cus i also wish other media make a media like how school zone does it! And i wish there was more media thats more of a girls centered (girl being the mc or just more girls character with interesting personality)

Literally rn after rereading school zone for alot of times it got me lazy to start another media thats not girls centered (the girl being an mc or more girls character that feels like how girls are) because so many shows already have so much idk guys bein the mc or guys character being alot more

And especially the writing on the girls

School zone girls feels so prefect for me and thats why i keep om rereading it so many times

Oh and also i wont say its 100% perfect cus we got cough tsubaki being that

But even tho shes like that i think the execution is also not that bad

At first u thought shes that but the more u read and get into that serious chapter u become understand on how she works and stuff

Usually incest character always written as a WHY NOT and idk doesnt have more depht in it or just for stupid comedy purpose

Tsubaki just have more reason for it for me because of how we get to know her more

And i dont think the author (ningiyau) will make the incest thing happening anyway

Cus the more u read the more its more of

Tsubaki and hiiragi trying to meet people outside of each other (because back in middle school they pretty much isolate themselv from the world)

Difference is that tsubaki is more of TRYING to find friends to change

And hiiragi changing by unexpected event (utsugi)

And both of them still having this complicated sibling issues

(Especially tsubaki she got that attachment issues goin on and im interested in what will happen to her)

I think tsubaki and how it made her that way is already self explanatory in the manga

On top of that I rlly love her writing alot

Because at first or something she seems like those anime nice girl type of styff

Those anime girls whos always niceee especially to the mc or whatveer and usually male likers

But tsubaki is her own character

Shes anxious and stuff with people and also pessimistic with her situation(when theres seem to be no way out) ven though shes very talented with grades and sport

But she can also be optimistic when she sees the opportunity or solution to her situation

And she sees good stuff in people and she also easily influences(?) by others ( example yatsude trying to make some lie story about their club at firs shes like " ITS A LIE???" but then she started to get into it and excited "OMG NEW STORY WOW" And her with yokoe

Yokoe telling her which hand to pick and say stuff about i got expectation from u and she reactinf "wow expectation!!" And also reacting "huh!?" To her respond from picking the hand)

But yeah i rlly like tsubaki and all of the cast personality and ningiyau rlly do genuinely give so much depht in them

This yuri literally have so many characters with each of their oen personality and how so many dynamic could form from those characters and its just so refreshing to see!

(Also i loooove kaname and how shes written as i wanan get to know her more)

But anyway im pretty much rambling now but yeah i think what got me hooked is just of how funny and also fresh the characters are with their own personality (especially since theyr girls) and how ningiyau execute them and the story

I wish school zone isnt gonna be underrated anymore because this yuri deserves more recognition and loves (hopefully one day)

[mik-mania]

hiiii question for mun/newest characters. how do you think condes, zander, and lionel describe themselves compared to how others("others" being like friends/acquaintances/colleagues) would?

BITING YOU AFFECTIONATELY....THANK YOU.......

i'll go ahead and say this first, condes and lionel dont really have..................................friends. due to the whole Condes Being A Militant Dictator thing. it kinda limits the friend pool.

Condes:

firstly, he sees himself as the best fucking thing since sliced bread. he's strong and powerful. he is above everyone else and makes sure they know it. his confidence is off the fucking charts.

he and Lionel have a..... complicated relationship. to where I wouldn't call them kismesises or matesprits, but Vacillates. cus. yknow. they vacillate a lot. i'll be honest, their relationship is toxic as hell! theyre so tangled up in each others messes that the two of them are a package deal. lionel would love to see condes killed, or even kill the man himself, but at the same time he wont ever let him die. he would let himself be killed to defend the guy. its a special sort of stockholm that's progressed past "poor Lionel" to "well, you didnt have to commit warcrimes about it."

zander..................hates condes' guts. she thinks hes a nasty piece of work and she can't believe that the two of them ever used to be on good terms (although it was a long, long time ago). she remembers when Avatakra wasnt war-torn planet filled with death and ruin, before condes went on his campaign to ruin their world. before he killed Dabria. now all she wants is his death.

condes has a pretty strong empire beneath him. i say empire, but it's more of a large totalitarian militia. while he has control of nearly half of the planet, it's a struggle for complete control between him and various other groups vying for power. other leaders find him despicable, powerful, and mendacious. those beneath him view him as terrifying. they may not like him, but he has witchery he can punish them with. no one is sure how to defeat him because nobody knows where he's gotten these powers from.

LIONEL:

lionel hates himself. deep, deep down, he despises himself and is the same scared kid he used to be. but that was long, long, long ago. he views himself as despicable and twisted. his senses have been all switched up by sweeps and sweeps of abuse to the point that pain and suffering are simultaneously gratifying to him. he's given up on the notion of being a good person. anyone who can write off their own humanity (trollmanity?) like that is a dangerous person, because they no longer have any limits to what they're willing to do. and he is willing to do whatever Condes wants.

Condes views him as a pathetic plaything. he has the urge to control everything the man does--he wants him all to himself. i feel like his desire to control and hurt and destroy lionel comes from their childhood attachment to each other. Condes used to be a sweet kid, believe it or not. they both used to be. but condes got into some dark, dark magic shit and it changed him. and he changed lionel. he sees lionel and he wants to kill him, but he cant quite make himself do it. it pisses him off that lionel is a living reminder of his past self. no matter how much he disfigures and remakes this man, the reminder will still always be there. and Condes hates it.

zander... doesn't feel much for lionel tbh. she used to feel bad for him. she's tried many, many times to help him escape. to bring him with her and save him. but you really cant help a person who doesnt want to be helped. she used to feel conflicted about him, watching as he only descended into being Condes' tool and weapon. conflicted that that used to be her friend, that he refuses to fight her, but wont join her either. then, she pitied him for a long time until it slowly fizzled into complete apathy. the man known as Lionel Farlow today is not the boy she once knew. and if that means eventually cutting him down in front of god and everybody, then so be it.

lionel isnt thought of much by his and condes' subordinates, nor is he a thought in the mind of other world leaders. those under him view him mostly with a mix of pity and disgust. to see such a pathetic violet blood be mistreated and slapped around by a small jade blood is something of an upset. lionel is effectively a traitor of the empress' empire at large and the entire social hierarchy that's been established for milennia before Avatakra's existence. but those on the planet lack any method of contact to reach out to the rest of the universe, let alone even leave the planet. so in lieu of any other sort of action, lionel receives the collective brunt of society's resentment.

ZANDER:

she doesn't think much of herself. in all honesty, she tries not to. she doesn't have much of a sense of self and feels that most of her died along with her childhood. introspection only reveals one thing to her: she wants things to change and she is willing to fight for it.

Condes hates her. she is yet another reminder of his past that just seemingly wont go away. while "her" forces (how he views them--zander is not part of an organization) are nowhere near as strong as his, she is a constant thorn in his fucking side. she's sneaky and she knows him well enough to get around any defenses he may set up. she's come close to killing him a handful of times and vice versa. she has a few nasty scars from the man and he remembers every single one of them proudly. if Condes ever takes her captive, he will take extreme satisfaction in her prolonged torture.

Lionel... feels guilty when he thinks about zander. so he tries not to think about her very often. when it's come right down to making the decision whether or not to kill her--he has decided against it, every single time. which is saying something, considering how often he's had the advantage over her. he cares about her in a nostalgic way, wishing that things could go back to how they used to be. but he's already chosen where his heart resides and there is no going back, regardless of how zander tries to convince him. the least he can do is refuse to kill or capture her--even if it earns him severe punishment from condes every time.

zander lives covertly in a small community just outside of Condes' territory. the community is mostly like-minded rebels such as her; trolls who have no loyalty to any of the rising powers in the world and only wish for freedom. they're brought together by the radical ideals of abolishing the social hierarchy, seeking to live in equality all together. condes is not the only power they rebuke, but he is the largest and the closest.

despite their ideologies, most of trolls in the community aren't active members. most people there only wish to live their lives, living off the land and depending on each other. zander has good standing in the community, being known as somewhat of a loner that lives a bit farther from the town. she spends her time building relationships with the trolls there, helping with development of the settlement. it's a fulfilling day-job and she earns companionship and food in return.

although she knows the handful of folks in town that actively rebel, she refuses to work with them. their rebellion is very small-time, targeted toward wandering foot-soldiers and hostile threats. zander refuses to involve them in anything more dangerous, as it would lead not only to their deaths, but most likely the whole community. she intentionally has no deep relationships with any of the townsfolk because when the day finally comes that she disappears for good, she doesnt want anybody to come looking for her.

[rise-my-angel]

what did you think about the ending of tlou?? and are you excited for season 2?? would love to hear some of that wonderful Mimi insight!! ☺️☺️

Okay, so I consider this season a closed story much like the original game. A story designed to end where it ends and the actions in front of us exist in their own merit and not that of future set up or outside sources. Meaning I do not consider events included in tlou2 to be canon, and I also don't take whatever neil/craig/usually game voice actors say about the show as truth or canon either. Beacuse a lot of what they say is purposley trying to make you think these events will lead naturally to what will be season 2 which is the second game.

I disregard the second game because I think it is completely illfitting to this universe story that forced characters to change to make it fit. And so, I am only looking at this show soley on the same way I did the first game. As its own unique thing that does not need a sequel.

That being said, (under a read more cus God forbid i make a post about this show thats not 8 thousand words long)

I love how the hospital events were framed not as tense and brutal, but painful and emotional. When the game came out everyone talked about how crazy that sequence was, but here its so interesting that its flipped. In the game you play this out yourself so you end up putting your emotions onto the scene but here we're forced to endure that this Joel isn't fueled by anger but a gut wrenching desperation. And the new added context that Joel losing Sarah drove him to attempt suicide paints it in a new light as well as direct confirmation that Ellie was not told anything and was drugged against her will.

Joel isn't just saving himself. He told Ellie JUST before they got seperated that he was so sure he wanted and was ready to die, but by some miracle, he flinched and lived long enough to heal and find purpose through her. Joel sees Ellie's pain. And he realizes, that Ellie has been manipulated into thinking that she has to do this and her own trauma might be used against her. Its why he doesnt respond at Marlenes comment to ask what she would choose.

Joel knows that he healed and that Marlene has not only taken Ellie's ability to flinch awat, but that she is the reason Ellie thinks she is the worlds only hope. Joel knows Ellie can't choose for herself, because Marlene is metaphorically holding her in place. Ensuring she won't flinch.

So Joel knows, he has to flinch for her. And I refuse to say he was wrong in lying because he is clearly not proud of himself for it. But, I think he's waiting. Waiting for Ellie to be more ready, to see that light he fell in love with return to her eyes and then they can talk. Joel wants to heal that guilt in Ellie before they talk about what happened, so that when she finds out the wholw truth, she is ready to accept Joels perspective and not be stuck in this suicidal ideation that Marlene tried to create.

Also, Ellie not only had full plans for what she and Joel would do after (i.e moving to Jackson as a real home and starting to live like a real family with Joel) , but she herself had doubts. In episode 6 she asks with very distant emotion and clear doubt whether or not the vaccine works and she doesn't say any more about it beacuse they and up talking about Sam. Ellie not only didn't sign up to die, she wasn't sure it would work.

I personally think Ellie wanted to finish this at the end, partially to make Joel proud. The things they'd been through, and on multiple occasions she tries to pretend shes stronger then she is (crying after shooting that guy only to wipe her tears away and pretend shes cool about it when Joel comes in the room). She now knows what they have but she wants to make him proud that she didn't give up. She has been quiet and nervous since entering Salt Lake City to the point Joel asks her about it and then when he gently says she can change her mind shes caught. She wants the only father shes ever known to be proud that she saved the world and caught between Marlene telling her it all falls on her shoulders alone.

People seem to mostly agree that Ellie at the end knows Joel is lying, but doesn't push it. But where I disagree is when they say her trust is broken. Its not. I think shes quiet on the way to Jackson because shes upset Joel is lying and she's also trying desperately to figure out what could have happened in the hospital that Joel lies about the entire thing. And I think her saying okay at the end isn't really to Joel.

Its that she decides, it's okay that he lied. It's okay because she trusts that Joel did what he did to protect her beacuse he has always done that from day one. Its why when Joel loses it in episode 1 Ellie has a torn look about her. The only person whose ever defended her like that is Riley but that was in a far more kid vs kid protecting the girl she likes manner. Joel was different then that and even from other adults.

She doesnt know why he did it much like she doesnt know why Joel is lying to her. But it's okay. Beacuse now she knows for sure its not angry or malicious. This time she knows its from a place of love and I think Ellie starts to heal from this point on.

Joel was right to do what he did, he was right to lie to a traumatized child to not add to what he knows is already survivors guilt and I think Ellies trust never wavers.

Ellie knows Joel better in the show then the game because they open up to each other much earlier and theres much more new added context to it. Theres no distrust here.

The lie isn't a set up for future problems. The lie is Joel wants to keep the worst from her until he's sure she isn't still trauma ridden and Ellie not only decides she still trusts Joel. But I think she understands why Joel lied and it only serves to strengthen it.

Shared traumatic experiences do not tear apart. It bonds peoe together.

Last thoughts: I think the flashback with Anna is legitimate but I think Marlenes flashback is purposley scued memory to justify her actions in present day. I don't think the umbilical cord conversation happened at all. I think Marlene is inventing things to eellivate the guilt of her own monstrous actions. Also I apply real world science here because its fun, and I can say for sure no amount of experiments or tests on Ellie could produce a vaccine. Its impossible and fungal infections do not act the way viruses or bacterial infections do. I think Marlene is just desperate to win a losing war and by doing this I think she is not evil but has genuinly deluded herself into thinking that she can do the impossible. And I think she purposley found the only doctor who agrees to do this, because absolutely no doctor or scientist worth their salt would think Ellies immunity had anything to do with making a cure and his moral corruption to kill a child is far more monstrous then anything Joel did all season. So the vaccine in my opinion is bogus, I think its just the delusional actions of a group of failed rebels clinging to any power even if its just having power of a childs life. Its all bogus. The first two episodes started clearly that by the time the outbreak happened, not only was there absolutely no evidence of a cure or vaccine possible, but on outbreak day they didn't even know that the cordyceps jumped the species barrier. There is no cure.

But society is already healing. Jackson is proof that its not power or control that heals. It's love. Love and respect. Funny enough the only other place that works is Boston, which tells me that its not FEDRA itself thats the problem, its the individuals in charge. We see it in Kong in episode 7, FEDRA sees thenselves exactly like the fireflies do. But they are both wrong. Beacuse its not with violence and command does Jackson work, its community and freedom. Hell even the indigenous couple proves that. There wasnt even any animosity for Joel pointing a gun at them beacuse they all understood that the way normal peolle survive is through supporting eachother. The man immediately apologizes about being dismissive of his brother because support is what holds life together.

Summary cus I talk too much: I don't consider any future games, existing sequels, or future seasons to be canon. The Last of Us was never intended to have a future. It was a closed story of healing through love and I think the show showed this between Joel and Ellie better then the game did and thats where I'd prefer the story stay.

(.......ignore that my longest series is literally me continuing the story....i didnt base my story off the cycle of horrifc theme of hate and vengeful violence based on the Isreal/Palestine contlict I continued the theme of healing through love so im allowed to write more of this story beacuse i didnt decide that the story about love triumphing hate and violence ends with love causing hate and violence.....)

[cloudslou]

how i would change “do revenge” to make it a better movie:

(spoilers for “do revenge”. obviously.)

-fashion is too try-hard and also too homogeneous across the whole movie. i feel like if the movie wanted to better hit the clueless/mean girls mark they were clearly going for, the fashion needs to stand out on who matters. if every character, every student at the school, has “good” clothes and looks like they were styled to be an instagram model, it doesnt really tell us much about the main characters when they also dress like that. re: clueless and mean girls, cher and dionne’s fashion is very unique to them in the movie, and the plastic’s fashion firmly establishes them as the Mean Girls they are.

-the film wastes too much time on gabbi and russ as eleanor and drea’s love interests, when that time would have been better spent developing the friendship between eleanor and drea themselves. sure, we see them Plan Revenge and Do Revenge, but it could have been worthwhile to see them in other settings. do they hang out when they’re not plotting revenge? what do they talk about when they’re not talking about revenge? and so this would have added weight to the scene when drea forgets eleanor’s birthday or when eleanor “realizes she’s changed”.

-there are so many gaps in the passage of time that its so boring. like the title cards of “summer” and “fall” and “spring” dont actually. move you thru the story, mostly they feel lazy. throughout the movie we move through an entire year but all of it feels stagnant.

-movie immediately goes soooo downhill as soon as its ~revealed~ (w little to no foreshadowing as far as i saw) that eleanor is like. actually on her own team and is doing this whole revenge plot against drea. like so downhill its such a weird and obnoxious “twist” and she also garners so sympathy from it. like she.... convinced drea to get not One but Two people in legal trouble for drug possession and ruin their lives? and then she actually does leak max’s personal texts, lies to literally everyone (including love interest gabbi), threatens to frame drea’s MOM for drug possession, and literally hits drea w he car. so its just. like there is no rooting for eleanor. and tbh its just such a shallow turn of events and diverges from a well-structured bad teen movie in order to basically starve itself of any salvageable good parts.

-and then somehow, with no real apology or redemption arc, DREA is apologizing to ELEANOR? telling her she’s maybe the best friend she’s ever had, and moments w her were the happiest of her last year?

-also how does MAX find out the whole story via eleanor’s phone at the admissions party? drea and eleanor were committing literally crimes just texting abt it on iphone? AND eleanor doesnt have a password-protected phone? and somehow, after eleanor and drea’s friendship falls apart, their text messages also tell the story of eleanor’s Ultimate Revenge Plan, the one that was told out loud and in person? that whole part just felt like “how can we make this more convoluted and add no substance to this story at all”.

-tbh if the movie wanted to do like “psycho lesbian goes on a revenge spree” thing they could have like. actually gone for it and made it a very action-packed, eleanor-thinks-she-has-no-consequences-coming-for-her, high-emotion movie but they....dont? eleanor says she feels things but doesnt seems to feel much at all? it doesnt help the maya hawke is like supremely bad at selling me on the character. and if they wanted to do “fucked up soulmates”, again, they could get better actors, and also they could have written a story in which drea and elenaor are actually on equal terms when it comes to being “fucked up”, cus rn we have “actually a horrific person” eleanor and “was just a childhood bully and high school mean girl” drea.

-everyone in this movie could stand to, like, become better actors

-here is my better plot idea: keep the “two very different high school girls were fucked over by people they cared about, and they team up to get revenge on those who wronged them”. they develop a real and genuine friendship despite coming from ~different worlds~, but as the school year progresses drea becomes too entrenched in getting revenge; eleanor’s revenge has been completed, but drea’s is harder and she cant move on from what happened to her. in the same vein, eleanor becomes a bit unrecognizable as she blends in more and more with drea’s former friends, the popular kids (in a very cady heron/mean girls way). the scene at eleanor’s bday part remains pretty much the same: drea forgets her bestie’s bday bc she’s too caught up in her revenge fantasy, but eleanor also gets a call out for becoming too buddy-buddy with the people who destroyed HER bestie’s life. after this fight, they spend time apart which makes them realize that the friendship they developed together was more valuable than revenge the whole time. so they reunite, make amends, etc and get back on track on completely drea’s revenge. once drea’s revenge is completed, they swear to give up on any further revenge aspirations (to show “growth”) and then the end scene where they skip their graduation and drive away singing also remains unchanged; it is symbolic of them letting go of their pasts and letting go of high school.

[minjiarchive]

dc reaction to their crush using a pet name on them!!

DREAMCATCHER REACTION! when their crush uses a pet name on them

a/n- she/her pronouns are used in this! i will change the pronouns to they/them if you guys like :)

-

JIU:

lets just say shes gonna start running laps

"hi my love how are you doing with your classes?"

NOPE SHE'D BE SPEECHLESS

"im doing fine! what about you?"

she seems okay but after when you leave she literally cant breathe

her hands would start sweating, i know shes gripping onto anything cus of how nervous you got her

"siyeon i cant do this anymore officially! at this point im not even gonna attend school, i love her so much and she probably doesnt like me back"

"she just called you my love... it isnt the end of the world minji please calm down!"

SUA:

will most likely flirt back with you to make it known she likes you

she'll do anything to make you know her feelings

"hi babe, how are you doing today?"

"hi baby! im doing good how are you?"

probably feel confident while saying that but when you go out of the classroom, sua will cringe hard at herself

"why did i just say that."

still calls you pet names back though cus shes strong with her feelings for you

SIYEON:

sooo many things processing in her head when you talk to her like that

"hey darling, you look pretty as always."

"..."

"siyeon?"

*in siyeons mind*

-help what do i say

-oh my god she did not just call me darling im loosing it

-lets play it off siyeon please freak out another time im making myself look like a fool

when she does get herself together she'll play it off saying she just zoned out or some other excuse

literally might scream cus of how embarrassed she is from processing everything

you reassuring everything is okay will make her feel better though!!

HANDONG:

stunned to even speak at that point

literally starts speaking gibberish cus of how shy she got

"oh hi sweatheart! you look so cute today!"

"havsjejfhsjhfdnw thank youmrnjdjfnenf"

shes fine with compliments but when it comes to you god she goes through a roller coaster of emotions

she finds it so cute though and loves pet names!

no matter how many times you call her pet names she'll never get tired of them

YOOHYEON:

might be taken back by it cus of how unexpected it was

"hey come here love, can you help me out with this homework question really quick?"

"ME?"

"yes you yoohyeon! come here please"

her knees will turn into jelly

shes gonna scramble to get herself together and everything else

most adorable girl ever

yoohyeon will show off to her friends on how she got called a cute name by you

"i got called love by my crush and you guys didnt"

DAMI:

acts cool and doesnt show that shes affected by it

she doesnt want to embarrass herself infront of you so she tries her best to keep it to herself

"darling, hope it isnt a bother but can you pass me my backpack beside you?"

"sure!"

*in damis mind*

-IM GONNA PASS OUT WHY IS SHE DOING THIS TO ME?

dami is good at hiding her feelings but eventually she will break infront of you

the next time you call her a pet name she def squeal out of excitement

GAHYEON:

she needs one of her friends beside her because she will go crazy if its just the two of you

"babe, do you mind if you lend me one of your pencils? mine broke."

"of course!"

*gives you a pencil with her hand shaking*

she's so funny bye

texting and spamming her groupchat like crazy

GUYS Y/N CALLED ME "BABE" WERE BASICALLY DATING NOW

HELLO?

ARE ANY OF YOU GUYS GONNA RESPOND?

yoohyeon: gahyeon were in the middle of class.

[pxppinmolly-archived]

💞👶🌀🌹⌛️

* Sunday HC Stuff // Accepting

💞 Would your muse ever consider a threesome (or more!)

SHE’S STILL WAITING ON THAT FIZZ/OZZIE SANDWICHING-!!!!!!

yeah ofc she has and continues to. Molly has been apart of orgies before esp when she was younger but not so much anymore because tbh lotta people aren’t shit and while YES she is easy one night stands are easier 2 pick and orgies she’s like i like to separate my peas from my mashed potatoes yk

But yeah she loves that shit. Esp if she’s the one w the center of attention <3 OAKSDJFG

👶 Does your muse want children?

SO FUCKING BAD.

IT’S ONE OF THE FEW THINGS SHE EVER WANTED IN HER DAMN LIFE.

And now she’ll never fucking get it. ... Canonically. Cus I said before yk I am willing to throw that shit out the window for THIS instance cus Im greedy n think Molly should get indulgence BUT

By default though I follow in sinners being infertile until/unless a ship partner wants 2 thread pregnancy/baby stuff in the future BUT by default yeah she is forever heartbroken and depressed of forever having a fucking empty nest.

This is why Molly spoils nearly any fucking youth she comes across she is a fucking mother hen.

🌀 What are 3 of muse’s top kinks?

Mommy kink. Breast smothering. Exhibitionism. Flipping through my f-list page. and feeling I need 2 upd8 this again

and tbh the third one can always change but the first two are constants LOL

🌹 Is your muse more interested in love or lust?

IDEALLY... She’s always interested in love.

Molly wants love. So bad. She just wants to be loved and cared after and just feel like someone gives a shit about HER... And not just for her name, her status, her body and looks, etc ...

But like you know through her entire life the only way she could ever feel that is THROUGH lust and Molly CONTINUES to act upon lust as a means to get a ‘quick fix’ of feeling like she’s cared for and desired and wanted because that’s the quickest and like. only way she believes herself to ever get it!

because that’s all she’s ever been treated as in her life yk.

and like.. this isnt to also say she just doesnt love sex in general. cus she does. its good. its fun. she does it just to do it, too but there’s sometimes it’s more of the fact of just. needing to FEEL something.

It’s an addiction like anything else really. Being exposed to such things at A VERY YOUNG AGE even /before/ she officially lost her virginity it’s just become so cemented into her person ykwim

But yeah so She’s interested in both, for sure, but in the long term she always wants love over lust

like for example with an Alastor or two she’s been with she has been PERFECTLY FINE not having sex with them... At all. Like Summer’s Alastor for example Molly hasn’t slept with yet and they’ve been together for. A long dang time. And Molly tries to initiate sometimes but he doesn’t catch on, and he ends up making her laugh or ends up just distracting her w other bits of physical affections and Molly is like Well this is fine! <3

⌛️ How long does your muse last in bed?

She can last all night and morning. From 8 PM to 8 AM. A whole twelve hours until she starts getting tired - and that is IF she’s enjoying herself with her partner. Molly is hopped up on so many drugs + adrenaline + just the enjoyment of a good time in general she can GO.

Molly HAS went even days doing sexual activity before, but. It wasn’t any fun having fun times </3 but through it she’s managed to gain quite the bit of stamina through it all and got semi used to it for awhile until ... Finally we have normalcy again but yk

[hanamakkiss]

Haikyuu boys cooking

Shiratorizawa | Nekoma | Karasuno

time for krows kakao~

Sawamura Daichi ↠ a responsible cook! uses (in everyone else opinion) too little seasoning BUT HE MEANS WELL 😭😭 so u just eat it but when he turns his back while cooking add some more salt in there!!! it needs it 😂😂😂 loves cooking with you sososoo much cus its one of the times where u actively spend time together. does sappy things like dance with u while waiting for the water to boil 🥰 and buys matching aprons

Sugawara Koushi ↠ ask him if he can cook and he'll give u the most beautiful smile and say "😇no😇" i mean, look at that face, makes u want to cook for him!!! 😒😠🥺🥰 all the neighbourhood aunties love him and bring him food all. the. time.😋 he doesnt know how to cus he nevers needs to! even when yall start living together he just keeps bringing home food from the neighbours!!!

Azumane Asahi ↠ can but rather bakes. and hes really good at it!! like baking cause the motions are calming and it helps with his anxiety. likes to listen to podcast whilst doin so. a panic baker too when hes stressed he instinctively bakes so you always have sweets at home LMAO. bakes ur fave desserts when ur down 🍮🧁😘

Tanaka Ryunnosuke ↠ knows the basics but isnt very good at it but if you're too tired to cook he will definitely whip up a meal for u!!! practices really hard to at least be able to cook ur fave dish well!!🥰🥰🥰 a fantastic person to cook for LMAO cus hes used to saeko and will give anything a try at least one cus sometimes they turn out ✨amazing✨

Nishinoya Yuu ↠ king of reaheating leftovers!!! no patience for cooking but somehow manages to make day old food taste fresh again. share your secrets young man 🔪🔪 dont lose sight of ur food while reheating cus he WILL snatch it up. doesnt matter how much he loves u cus he thinks with his stomach 🤤🤤🤤 makes up to u w ice cream (bitch!!! my lagsana!!!) absolute joy to cook for tho he eats everything

Hinata Shouyou ↠ king of prep!! cuts veggies🥒 and fruits🍑 so finely and beautifully u ask him for help all the time. he learnt from his mum when he was younger, but didnt actually do the cooking part. really good at making garnishes like apple bunnies and tomato roses. when he makes one he shows it to u excitedly and makes u go 🥰🥰🥰

Kageyama Tobio ↠ LMAO u think he can work a stove??? banned from the kitchen after he made an egg explode once. u tried asking what happened but he looked so traumatised u just let it go. will stay around the doorway just in case. (in case of WHAT? but he doesnt answer🥴)

Tsukishima Kei ↠ can do it but hates cooking😒 he thinks the clean up is too much of a hassle. if u ask him to help u he pretends he didnt hear u and puts on his headphones LMAO 🙄 in a pinch he just throws ingredients into a pot and hopes for the best

Yamaguchi Tadashi ↠ he can't! but only cause it... never crossed his mind to try? so when u ask him if he cooks he blanks out 😶 but after that he's super enthusiatic about learning and watches cooking videas all. the. time LOL he always sending u vids of mouth-watering food at night and making u hungry 🤤😠😠 lots of cooking dates where you guys try your best HAHAHAH

Bonus (because i love them 🥺)

Shimizu Kiyoko ↠ can do simple meals! shes an independant woman 😗💪🏻💪🏻 so she makes healthy balanced meals (they taste so good tho 🤤🤤🤤🤤), but make sure to take turns with her otherwise in 2 weeks she has exhausted her repertoire and u might sick of the same dishes😔

Yachi Hitoka ↠ shes really really good at it!! cooking together was one of the ways her mum and her spent time together when she was younger. it helps calm her cause she associates happy memories with it!🥰🥰 and also she loves seeing people happily eat her food she is the sweetest!!! if u ever have craving let her know she'll give it a shot. also makes the cutest bentos ever 🍱🍱🍱

Tanaka Saeko ↠ she's an experimentalist! once in a while she gets ✨inspired✨ and makes some... questionable changes to a recipe and its a hit or miss LMAO the bads are really bad but the good experiments taste so heavenly 🤤 u wonder if she should open a resturant but she forgets the recipe immediately so u probably wont taste it again 😭😭

[vampire-christ]

i want to make my own memories. not rely on making them with someone else.

i want to ride alone at night and listen to dave matthews and the doors.

there are so many stupid restrictions keeping me from doing small shit that i want to do. nobody wants to take me driving, i have my permit still and i only have a few hours on it and i need 60 hours. they aren’t even trying to help me. i last drove 3 months ago. i want my license, i want to go out and drive and listen to music like how my mom did with me when i was young.

if i was in new york, my family would help me with my permit. i wish my dad taught me to drive. maybe this summer he can help me drive, i already know how though. idk he can just teach me what i dont know. we can go driving at night and listen to music.

i always say i want to go back but id miss my mom and my brother too much. i dont want my brother to be alone, we only have each other. i dont want talk ab tht rn im gona cry (+_+) but i always say i want to go back but i cant go back unless its the summer. and whenever my grandma decides to come. i tried to ask her if i could come earlier and she lectured me about how ive changed and i dont do good in school or hang out with my family. how is she supposed to know that if shes not here? i spend time with my family and i hate being around too many ppl n i hate loud noises but i still hang out w everyone, what is ur problem? and she was talking about how ive cut my hair n dyed it and do crazy makeup and wear revealing clothing. i dont see what any of that has to do with me coming back earlier but ok thanks for making me feel insecure again. i changed how i looked because i didnt like how i used to look and now im not insecure ab my looks; until u said something about it. but im over it now, but spent like a week covering up and not getting ready or anything thanks <3 she says my mom doesnt like how i look but i know that isnt true, she took me to get my hair dyed and she never says anything bas about my makeup or hair. why would she even say that, its not what my mom thinks its what you think. she always does that, pretty sure she used to talk abt my moms weight to her and she did it to me too. are u insecure ab ur own weight or smn why r u telling me to suck in my gut? i love her no matter what but she can be so rude. and tht just made me so sad like this why i never ask anyone if i can come back early or stay longer, cus they always make excuses for me not to stay or do that shit where they bring up irrelevant shit. makes me so anxious n tht whole time she was telling me tht shit i was crying n i didnt know what to reply to her. n then afterwards i feel dumb cus i couldve said more but i get overwhelmed and mt mind shuts off. stupid

this got so off track :|

[starrspice]

Rose Quartz isn't a villain

Unpopular opinion. But here we go

This is My personal two cents. This isn't ordered well its kind of all over the place.

WARNING. ITS REALLY LONG

A lot of people (especially since the movie) have been acting and bashing Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond and acting as though she's the cruelest villain in the universe.

And here's why I don't think she is the ANTAGONIST (a person who actively opposes someone or something)

And furthermore why she falls in line as a VILLAIN ( a character whose evil actions or motives are important to the plot.)

As well as a HERO (a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities)

Let's start with her thought process and behavior.

A big thing I see is people saying "HER ABUSE DOESNT JUSTIFY WHAT SHE DID SHES STILL A MONSTER" and it's true. Abuse doesn't justify terrible behavior but it does to some degree explain it. Pink diamond was abused by the other diamonds.

She was constantly punished for acting out, which she did not only for attention from the other diamonds (as she seemed to be left alone quite often ) but also to make them happy (which indicates that they usually are not) and bring the family together. Not only did she act out, but when punished, she was forced to say she's sorry and that she was wrong, for simply trying to make her family happy and feel less miserable herself.

Pink was basically trained to follow homeworlds rules and not to question anything. And was forced to live a life she hated.

Yes. A lot of what Pink did and HOW she acted is due to how she was raised by the diamonds.

Diamonds are taught that THEY are the leaders. All gems and other life forms are lower than they are. And while Pink did, in fact, realize that killing the planets was wrong that may very well be all she realized. Gems weren't made to fuse with other gems, or to rebel, or to find their own path in life. All of those were things introduced by the rebels. The only reason the diamonds are getting closer to behaving and thinking better than they used to is that they had GUIDANCE. Steven helped show them a better right and wrong. He's helped them work to become better people for 2 years. And one may argue that pink/rose had thousands of years AWAY from. her abusers to become better. But the big thing she didn't have was guidance. She didn't have anyone tell her that those things weren't ok. The gems couldn't tell her that because everything they were doing is new to them. They grew and developed as people but couldn't possibly understand a stronger sense of right and wrong since it had never been questioned before and they'd never been told anything except for "Diamonds know best so we never question them" if you listen to Rose's song love like you she REALIZES SHE WAS TERRIBLE but only because she finally had someone to show her how her way thinking was resulting in terrible behavior and causing problems. "I always thought I might be bad now I'm sure that it's true, 'cus I think you're so good and I'm nothing like you. " GREG WAS HER GUIDANCE but she realized that even if she tried to be a better person. Shell always has a bit of her old self. And she may very well think That's holding her back. But she knew that steven, someone surrounded by people better than she ever could be. And by a strong loving father to guide him and make him kind and considerate and the amazing steven we know and love.

I know a lot of friends who have dealt with abuse. And they go on to behave all kinds if different ways. But this show depicts 2 very different ways people can behave after a childhood of abuse. Pink ran off and made her own life, but didn't necessarily become better. She continued living as she had, not knowing her behavior was wrong because she had never seen anything else or been told that it was wrong. She acted how she was taught to act by homeworld, and as for the rebels, no one recognized how bad it was because they lived the exact same way. They were stuck and had trouble growing as people because they didn't know how to grow. Steven taught them. That's why pearl lives for herself now instead of rose. How Amethyst takes pride and lives with the support of her friends and family boosting her up. He taught garnet that it's ok to not know everything, and sometimes you just have to focus on what you can change rather than what you cant. He taught them that fighting doesn't always fix the problem. Pink didn't have a steven until she realized how much she truly loved Greg. How he was different from other humans because he taught her and was willing to overlook the mistakes of her past so he could help her future. Only at the end of her life did she learn that she was wrong, and selfish, and not a good person. The diamonds acted JUST like this. They all dealt with Whites abuse. And realized. They behaved wrongly. Steven showed them that. They had guidance. Yes. Some people can realize the fault in their behavior on their own. But some cant. The diamonds needed guidance to take steps towards being better. And they're still struggling to learn. But they have someone to help them. So they're trying to fix their mistakes. So yes. Pink diamond was a bad person. And she did a lot of what she did not only because of the abuse. But because of how she was taught to think. This is not to void her of fault or to excuse the things she did. But I feel like it's unfair to call her evil and cruel and heartless. EVERY SINGLE VILLAIN in steven universe has had some layer of depth of deeper reasoning for what they did. And even if you consider pink to be the real villain. The same goes for her. Evil is not inherent, just like all terrible thoughts and behavior patterns. Like racism isn't inherent, or bias or prejudice. These are behavioral traits that are TAUGHT. If a killer raises a child. That child may not think killing is wrong. Pink was raised where she was an important person who had a right to everything she wanted and her desires took priority. Once something didn't serve a purpose she was expected to get rid of it. And gems were treated like objects. They were used for walls, decorative statues. Even aquamarine said topaz was of no use to her. And was prepared to get rid of her. we know this is wrong but they don't. Not all of them anyway. Even the off colors thought they were in the wrong for being themselves. It's not as if she did all of this because she wanted to hurt those around her. She did everything how she did because she was taught to think that way or behave that way. We become the people we are through nature AND nurture. But one can have more sway on someone depending on their upbringing. Abd abusive upbringing like pink endured is bound to drill homeworlds ideals into her head that much more. Especially since she tried to go against the grain and was punished constantly for trying to save things and be better.

And a lot of complaints I see is that "if she tried to explain her feelings to the diamonds none of this would happen" but everyone seems to forget. SHE DID TRY. In the episode where ruby and sapphire split and pearl explains everything she shows that pink diamond DID try. But was scolded for it. And was ignored. Just like how white ignored blue and yellow. She used all her authority but it meant nothing. She felt trapped and took an out. She tried to make a change. It started a spark that leads to a rebellion. Gems thinking for themselves. Being themselves. She did do good things. She tried to leave as much good as she had. But she didn't really know good and bad. She is still responsible for her failures and actions. But it's so so SO wrong to just slap a label on her calling her pure evil like she WANTED to do all that damage. Its the same as calling someone a hero despite any terrible things in their past that may have lead up to that. It's fine to classify her as an antagonist because yes. She caused problems for the main character and everyone around them. But it's not ok to ignore the meanings and cause behind it. We all knew pink/rose wasn’t A good person. But it's not ok to belittle her and act like her suffering and upbringing played no part.

It just upsets me when people ignore the history of someone. And I repeat THAT DOESN’T EXCUSE HER ACTIONS but that doesn't mean its ok to label someone based on their mistakes. No. Rose isn't a good person. She didn't know how to be. But that doesn't mean shes a cruel villainess. It means she was hurt early on and never fully recovered.

People who come from abuse can rise higher than their oast and tey to be better. And sometimes they can get stuck in their past and never learn from it. But that doesn't mean it's from a lack of wanting to be better. They may just not know-how.

This explains pinks behavior. And why she isn't an ANTAGONIST. She wasn't ACTIVELY trying to harm anyone or ruin anything. She even REFUSED TO SHATTER GEMS. She had a semblance of right and wrong and what was too far, but that's as far as it went. Additionally, by the time the show takes place, Pink is gone and can no longer actively do anything against steven or the crystal gems.

So. My thoughts on Pink/Rose

Not a good person and not justified in her actions, but came off the bedside of an abusive childhood and was never taught better. Just because she's done a lot of bad things doesn't mean bashing her is ok. Try and think of it like real life. Not everyone becomes better after abuse. And not everyone has the influences and tools needed to become better after abuse. We learn right and wrong from the people around us, so what if no one around us knows proper right and wrong?

Not looking to argue and you can reply with your thoughts if you want. But that doesn't really mean ill respond (im sure ill be flooded with people telling me why I'm wrong lol)

I would go on but I feel like this is too long already

[lux1fer]

y'all remember that discord rp animatic abt ink and error. guess who worked on it some more ya so a lot's happened! the animatic actually leaves off really early in the rp- a lot of stuff has been happening, its just that a lot less of it is error and ink related lol the story goes as follows: (providing timestamps so u guys know what im talking abt) 0:00 ink and error (alongside many others) are trapped in this safehouse(the multiverse outside it is collapsing) which. as the name depicts. keeps them safe the safehouse has a dome surrounding it that's miles thick with concrete, metal, all that 0:13 error REALLY does not like being trapped here, so he tried breaking through the walls with his blasters 0:26 ink attempts to convince him not to (as it is against the rules to break the walls) but error doesn't listen. they have a big fight and error ends up breaking the dome's outer layer- which is what essentially lights up the entire place, and gives the illusion they're on earth. 0:51 he, alongside ink, are sent to a dungeon as punishment. (they end up making a friend there) and they use the owner of the dome's aunt to bribe him into letting everyone out. 1:17 error and the owner end up having a private discussion, in which error realizes the owner- the guy he DESPISED, was exactly like him. they both killed multiverses. they both killed people for fun. 1:22 he ends up having a fight with his own morals, before deciding he'd change for the better. 1:29 error frees the owner's aunt in exchange for the freedom of the people locked in the dungeon with him. 1:42 while he's walking out of the dungeon, he apologizes to ink for everything he's done 1:45 error walks back to his room and cries. 1:48 ink ends up pushing a chocolate bar with a note on it through the crook at the bottom of error's door the note says he forgives him. error cries again because of it. 1:51 ink and error end up hugging

thats where the story left off previously, buuuuuut its continued :3 1:52 eventually, ink realizes that he's run out of his lil emotion vials due to the corruption of the multiverse, which is an issue ! 1:59 due to ink's rapidly decaying health, error decides to give up half of his soul to save the guy from going kaput! this causes issuesss 2:04 nightmare- who had come to the safehouse, decides to mess with error's mind. he convinces him to get back into his old habits, under the pretense that he's weak and pathetic otherwise. error believes this. (also nightmare was redesigned by a friend of mine- her name is al! she doesnt have tumblr i dont believe though so raghh i cant ping her) 2:17 in what can only be described as a mental breakdown, error attempts to take back the half of his soul he gave to ink 2:30 error hesitates- he doesn't truly want to hurt ink, though he's not too sure why. 2:36 (its not on screen cus i couldn't fit it) error decides to capture and attempt to kill pj and gradient (who are here too!) instead, but this backfires as ink was no longer captured. ink knocks him out with his brush. WAGHH so much word vomit ! this rp is so much fun though i didnt mention it in the other post but i figure id mention it here; this rp is hosted by my good friend @interncontinental! i really suggest you check his work out, he makes amazing artwork and is super creative with worldbuilding and character creation :3

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

Ok so reasons why i Love Warcraft the Beginning, and why its perfect and i hope for more. Might be a little incorherant cus i'm just doing my thoughts as they come. i  dont have the time to spend hours writing articles i'm not being payed for.

Yes Warcraft is a great, i say Perfect movie. "But it has flaws". Everything does. That perfect movie you love so much? someone found it boring, someone found it pretentious , someone found it stupid. Perfect pizza? someone doesnt like your toppings, someone thought there wasnt enough for it. A movie, a show, a book, art in general cannot be judged by an arbitrary list of items it must meet to sufficient quality. "no plotholes, great acting, good effects" are not good qualifiers. Most ppl dont know the meaning of plotholes, different tons of story require different acting (Casablanca is seen as a masterpiece but i dislike movies of that era because the acting is over the top, stiff, and campy. however that does not make them bad, it just means i dont like it). Really the only way a piece of art can be judged is by judging it based on what it TRIED to do. If your character is suppose to show they are angry in this scene and they just seem constipated then you did fail and that was bad acting. But if your character is suppose to be angry and some of the audience thinks they should have acted a different way, then thats just a difference of opinion between author and audience.

So what did Warcraft the Beginning TRY to do? Pay homage to the original franchise, tell a heartfelt complex story, give a larger than life epic, and reinterpret the story into something thats better than it was and can be accepted by a general audience

-So i love how much the art, style and themes embraced the franchise. The intro was PERFECT. The little cameos and everything were well done. For some weird reason a few thought that was cringe but part of good cameos is world building. They arent putting "this way to the stoutelager inn" so fans can go "i get that refrence" they are doing it to create  a scene that involves a sign to an inn and might as well be a real one from the story, right? The franchise STARTED as Err orcs bad humans good but it has since evolved past that, and you saw that with the  theme of the H and A heroes banding together against guldan. The armor and costumes were perfect, using the major flair of warcraft without being overly done. Llane's and Lothar's armor is perfect example.

some people have a problem with what i'd say was the "family friendly epic fantasy adventure" aspect of the movie. yes pacing was quick but when you go into a weird story you just suspend disbelief and take things as you go. They never explain how the Flashy Thingies in men in black work, they just do. you accept it and move. And there was some slightly heavy handed themes and moments. but thats what we call Camp. Its a fantasy adventure, you have snark, a few cheesy lines, hope vs darkness and all that good stuff. I remember when Wonder Woman came out an interviewer asked about the....hammy? ending. i think they used  a different word. but the idea was that it seemed...bad? that the ending revolved around Wonder woman's faith in humanity, faith in goodness and trying to do good, was naieve. And Patty Jenkens said that she thinks the world needs more hope like that, not everything is doom and gloom and the point of a hero is to be hopeful.

A GOOD movie, a PERFECT movie doesnt need to be high art. Ppl talk about inception cus it was so intense but IMO if half the audience doesnt know whats happening then its not so good is it? and like i said So many "great perfect movies' in history are boring, or weird or unlikable to many people. And i think its a great detriment to the world that people got to act like only high art movies that win awards are any good.

And then there is the story and charactes. I loved Lothar and Llane, very relatable and good example of heroic men. The mirror between the father Lothar and Durotan was great. I loved how well they did the orcs, just everything about them. Like their meeting and having it so that you could only understand the side you were listening from, if you listen when its focused on the orcs and Garona is translating you can hear Llane speaking something that is NOT english. But like even with the kinder orcs they kept the furiosity. Durotan makes it clear that their world is dead and they cannot simply go back, and thats very realisitc. even were it not for guldan if he was fighting to save his people he'd willingly fight the humans if they tried to stop them. It was great seeing them touch on the idea of the fel infused orcs with Medivh's ability to create spells that specifically target them. Oh and geeze his whole arch. the actor and directing i think did a great job of showing him struggling to do as much as he could to help the alliance against the orcs. He seemed addled, like he was losing it or on drugs but you find out it is really because the fel is taking hold of him. thats what was great about the last guardian is the whole Inner monster storyline. Betrayal of one's self and all that. And it showed the variety in the orcs, yes you had dark ones who embraced the pillage too, and its a shame that the campfire scene "but you're...Green" scene didnt make it. Kadgar, did a good job with the whole "he's smart enough to notice when his 'betters' are wrong but he's young and inexperienced and doesnt know how to assert himself" was great.  Its funny cus some didnt like he didnt age, but far as i can tell nothing in warcraft even addressed that. Like he mentions once or twice in the book and in click dialogue that it sucks losing his childhood but there is no angst about it. you wouldnt know he's only in his 40s now. Even his little cinematic before legion focused on him taking up the mantle of the guardian.

And then there are the improvements it made. Rise of the Horde was good but they didnt have time to have the 'non fel orcs being around fel turn slightly green', so it was a good choice to have that dynamic visual change. Lothar's son arc i think gave him more of a personal reason to be invested in this other than "defense of our nation". And it kinda sucks in the original narrative that stormwind just kinda got its butt kicked. I'm sure it will still fall but it will be nice to see more effort put into it. And goodness we actually got to see varian's mother? and she was an important part of the story? she was an interesting character and had influence and was crucial to getting garona on their side. Speaking of , Garona by herself is the best change and alone makes this movie better than the original. She is a product of love, the first human/orc couple, presumably when Medivh was first exploring Draenor. And not a tool created by rape? Its so great that this shitty aspect of the story generated from the naive creator's idea of womens place in stories, was rewritten. Oh i'd be the first to say it wasnt malicious. but between Kerrigan and Sylvannas and Garona, heck this attitude exists today. That a man's humanity comes from his family, that he is violent emotionless and a killer but a wife brings out his peace and children his humanity . so the worst thing that can happen to him is his family is killed, thus bringing the beast back. And that for a Woman she is defined by her love of the man, does she reject him or accept him, does she play hard to get or support him? how freely does she give herself to him. And thus the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to have her body violated, and what many guys who grew up in the 70s-90s fantasy era that was the go to story. Woman is violated (in body) and gets her revenge and feels empowered by killing her rapist. while the man is violated by those he LOVES being killed, and empowered by avenging them and finding a new family (or a way to honor the dead ones)

So yea its REALLy awesome that this story rejected that whole farse and said "no, the key behind saving both peoples is a young woman who exists because 2 people from different planets loved each other"

[skiasurveys]

393

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? um,,? I would assume I was a young adult ig?

2.Which is worse, failing or never trying? never trying, b/c you would never  know if you were good or not. 3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?  idk..man because we feel forced by society 4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done ? I hope not. 5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? I wish people would stop flexing. 6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? spending time with my loved ones tbh, and making art. 7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? rn i am in college so 8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? no different. 9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? a little, im trying to fix it. 10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? doing things right..i always think im gonna be a failure. 11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? I would let them know that she is my friend and i find it disrespectful of what theyre saying. 12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Honestly, dont worry about what others say. do what you want. 13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? yeah i would.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Yeah look at most art lol 15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Im not sure... 16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? because were all just different people? 17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? travel really. I want to see more of the world  and cultures.

18. What’s holding you back? money.

19. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? yeah my fathers death.

20. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? maybe the UK? and Idk its different and i dont wanna live in the us. 21. Do you push the elevator button more than once? not really. 22. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?  joyful 23. Why are you, you?  life experiences.

24. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? I think i have but i do have a lot to work on. 25. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?  losing touch. it sucks when you can feel them slipping away right from your fingers and you cant change it. we live in a world where face time is a  thing so when someone moves it doesnt feel that much different. 26. What are you most grateful for? My mom 27. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? fuck. Never make new ones.  28. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? idk..? 29. What is your greatest fear? Has it ever come true? Drowning. lol

30. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? it wouldve been either when my friend hurt me or when my dad had died. so yeah. 31. What is your happiest childhood memory?  vaca with dad

32. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? im not sure.. 33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? idk. 34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?  Of course, sometimes the best people are the people you dont have to make up a lot of words. 35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Cus humans. 36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? yes and no. we all have our set of morals. for sure murder is evil..i would hope everyone would agree. 37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?  yes. even tho i just got it but like i hate working LOL. 38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?  more work i like to do 39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? yes.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? what

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? i would try to see them all lol

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? Of course LOL 

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? alive is just doing ur boring ass shit every day but living is like actually doing what u love lol 44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? you just know tbh 45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? because we dont wanna look stupid or hurt others. depending on the mistake. 46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? dress better and be more active with my social media career. 47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? right now 48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? i love art, i always have. it just lets me express myself without feeling weird. 49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? i will for sure b/c i just started working at this shit job so ill for sure remember this. i better not be here in 5 years or ill kms. 50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? myself but i always ask ppl for advice to help me. so both?

[lenjaminmacbuttons]

Hope you’re doing okay, I know there’s been a lot going on the past couple weeks. 🌈🌈💛💛

FOOF YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN

thank you for the good vibes anon, i love you and it means a lot to me. however unfortunately now im gonna use this to vent dump exactly how much has been going on the past couple weeks off the top of my head. this is actually pretty far from Everything thats happen but im so tired and dont want to think about any of it anymore

my grandma passed away last week. we were prepared for it and we know she’s at peace in a better place et cetera et cetera, her body was all full of restraints & impediments that she doesnt have to deal with anymore and the next time she’s in a body it’ll be all New And Improved and awesome. i missed so much work in anticipation of this that now i can’t get work off on the day of the funeral, so i can still go to it but i’ll have to go immediately to work right from it and have to pretend everythings fine and dandy and nothings going on.

everyone at work Does know there’s something going on however and the two coworkers i have who are actually like i consider them friends mostly they’re all like Hey Im Here For You Talk About Your Feelings Honestly with me and i. dont. want. to talk about my feelings at work. thats not what work is for and i dont like talking about my feelings anyway and i dont want them to ask anymore

the changes to the handbook and the honor code have completely sunk my heart. i had so much hope up until those hideous ridiculous unfathomably transphobic things they wrote and now i don’t feel like i can trust or have hope in ANYTHING the institution does anymore. ive been up all night going back and forth over whether i want to go to church today. or ever again. it’s not bringing me joy. it’s making me feel anxious and depressed and frustrated and alone. i keep seeing people just on the street or on facebook who are so happy and content with the church and whatever it does and i just…i get struck every single time with this thought of “they don’t care about me. they don’t care about any of these problems. they’re not affected personally by it and so they don’t care.”

and then that makes me feel like such a hypocrite because!!! ive been them too for so long!! what makes this moment so different!!!!! why is this the straw that breaks the camel’s back when the camel should have thrown off the whole burden and run to join its friends at the first strike of the owner’s whip!!!!!!

plus it’s making me feel gross about my mormon memes blogs. idk if i can keep running those anymore.

im failing this semester anyway and i keep getting emails about it. i was planning to take a break from school After this semester but ive missed so much class that i just really can’t go back to any of them so i guess im just dropping out right now. as much as i’d love to participate in all the incredible amazing protests going on right now i really really cant be on campus at all without feeling literally physically ill. and my Hope was to do really well this last semester and then submit mission papers and that way i’d know exactly what next to do with my life until i decide what After, and id be able to Get Out somewhere and travel someplace while still feeling like my life has some semblance of structure and direction. however! HOWEVER!!!!!!!!

i’ve been feeling so, so horrible and so worn down and i dont even know where or what my testimony is anymore. but that’s probably a lot lower on the list of Why I Can’t Serve A Mission, because a. i still don’t trust my Local Bishop enough to talk to him about things The Handbook says to b. i am finding it harder and harder and harder to be perceived as female. i never really have dysphoria about my body or my presentation or anything but like, when people say Sister and Ma’am and Miss and Daughter and Hey Pretty Lady It’s Me Your Relief Society President it’s like…that’s not me. that feels gross. and i wear suits and ties to church, have done so for a while and never get any flak for it, and im gradually working up the nerve to maybe start introducing myself as lev or levi instead of lillie buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut. socially transitioning apparently is not allowed.

not to mention my temple recommend expired ages ago anyway. anxiety about bishops prevented me from ever going in for an interview to renew it. i haven’t visited the temple once since before graduating high school. but every time i see it or think about it i long for it so badly and it hurts so much.

and also like, i get that same kinda horrible regretful longing feeling whenever i hear violin music? because i played violin for a few years and then stopped but i still have the instrument because it was given to me by my grandmother. who played it herself until sickness wouldn’t let her anymore and she entrusted it to me and i Stopped Playing but then i hoped to pick it up enough to at least learn how to play her favorite song and aw wouldn’t that be so nice to play that for her on her violin except i never actually got around to printing out the sheet music or practicing At All. and now she’s gone.

and one of the last things she said to me was that she would love to hear my book since her eyesight was too gone to read it so i said i’d record it as soon as i got the right software/hardware to do that and then i never did that either. also i promised alla yalls that book would be Published Published coming up on four months ago now and i still haven’t done that

i took a pair of safety scissors to my forearms as mentioned in a previous post and surprise surprise, the lines have not healed still, it’s getting warmer outside and thus harder to wear long sleeves, and guess what! a while ago on a separate occasion i complained that i kinda wished my self harm scars looked more like the classic cutter lines and Now They Do!! And I Hate It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a couple nights ago my little sister saw them and so i told her i got attacked by a spider-pawed bear and fortunately my brother Understands and backed me up like “dang what do they teach in schools these days i cant believe youve never heard of the spider-pawed bears that live in the mountains and are totally normal and real”

and steven universe is ending. that’s a thing.

and like….okay. not everything in my emotions right now is bad. some of it is just complicated. one coworker friend i have recently confessed that she’s had a crush on me for several months now. fortunately when she said this i was able to be honest and say that im not super eager for a relationship right now, im not ready in the slightest to settle down or anything, im still hung up on my high school crush and also dealing with issues from my last relationship, and she replied that’s all perfectly fine and she doesn’t have any expectations and she’s great being friends and we can take things at whatever pace is good

except i also now have a date with said high school crush loosely planned for tomorrow and i told this coworker friend about it and she admitted it’s making her a little jealous and then she said jealous is an ugly word and amended it to Insecure and i feel bad about that

but i also like. am really excited for this date. like it’s not really a for sure romantic capital-d Date and that’s fine, but i haven’t seen this friend irl for so long and ive been missing her so much over this past little while that we’ve been internet chatting and that ive been i guess officially falling back in love with her but i also like, i dont know what her deal is romantically right now i don’t want to presume anything but i really really really am itching to see her

work is stressful. it’s only gonna get more so as weather gets warmer. but we’re getting two new managers with loads of experience and glowing reviews next week. i have hope that they’ll makes things a little lighter.

and there’s also. good things. peridot took off her visor for the first time ever in canon and i saved like 50 different gifs of it to my computer cus it rocked my world. sonic has she-ra toys for the kids meals and i managed to snag a tiny inflatable version of the sword. i’m making cosplays of the tres horny boys from the adventure zone and they’re all very exciting and making things makes me very very happy. i’m finding joy in all the fanfictions i’m writing right now and in talking about dungeons & dragons with my brothers and friends. ducknerva is a very beautiful Good Ending version of marahope which makes me happy and taako is a super effective projection outlet. i bought cupcakes today and they were delicious. and when i think about those good things, when i think about any good thing no matter how small, everything else disappears.

whatever happens happens i guess.

she who lives will see.