#cursing my phone’s autocorrect

[ceramicbird]

guess whose parents can’t social distance for shit and gave me covid ‼️‼️

[trevisos]

my autocorrect is Certain i mean “prostrate” whenever i try to type prostate. please. leave me be.

[eponymousfics]

Literally do not have an AO3 acc but I'll make one just for you pookie bear 😻

Anxnwkdmxhjwwj thank you but also I’M SORRY

Genuinely I feel really bad archive-locking everything because I hate making new accounts for things, so I understand anyone who doesn’t want to get an ao3 account. But until/unless all the current AI scraping stuff stops or better counters become available, this is the best option I can see besides taking everything down. Which I don’t want to do, because lovely people like you seem to be enjoying it!

Anyway thanks again, it means a lot to me that someone finds the effort worth it for my stuff!

[gameboyhamazing]

hi yes i am thinking about the totk dragons again

[sink-me-in-your-ocean]

𝔊𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔥 ℌ𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔫𝔰 III

What would it be like to sext/send nudes to the Ghouls and Papa Copia? 

Prompt by the magnanimous @endhisbloodlineinmyesophagus

NSFW/Suggestive below the cut.

Copia:

Count on this man to ruin the mood, not by his own accord (although he does get flustered)

It’s because of him misspelling things/not knowing how to work a phone

It barely matters though when you’ve got him hot and bothered and you know he’ll be thinking of you all day

You sent him a photo of your juicy thighs, pressed together from your seated position. Your garter belt just barely peeking out from underneath your short skirt. 

𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝙳𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝙳𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶

Ducking, my heart?

𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙳𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙳𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙳𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜

I’m fucking crying 😂

𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚎?

(You can practically hear him cursing in Italian, getting mad at the stupid phone.)

I’ll come by later to teach you how to fix autocorrect

𝙱𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝

-

Swiss:

If you send Swiss a nude just know he’s smiling devilishly

Tries to lick his phone/bite his phone

Just feral things

Wishes he could climb inside his phone and kiss the pixels of your body

He immediately goes wherever he can and strips down to send you an equally racy reply 

You almost drop your phone at his response. There’s Swiss in all his naked glory, standing proudly in a mirror. Fuuuuck.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗’𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝙸’𝚖 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝

You didn’t give me any warning! Someone could have been looking over my shoulder!

If they were I’m sure they would also like what they saw

You’re incorrigible

Idk what that means  But I’ll take it as a compliment 😏

🙄 ... What are you doing right now? I need to see you

I’m getting ready for a ritual now but if we make it fast…

Say less 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️

-

Phantom:

His reaction to receiving a nude from you is best described in two words: 

Cartoon character

His eyes are bugging out and his heart is beating out of his chest

He practically drops his phone upon seeing the explicit photo you sent

I think I'm having a heart attack

Surprise 😽 did you like it?

When he doesn't reply, you actually get a little anxious (like, did he actually die?), but then it sounds like someone slams into your door and you about jump out of your skin.

You wrap your silk robe around yourself, barely getting it tied to answer the rabid banging at the door.

“Phantom! You’re all sweaty! Wait, did you run here?”

“Couldn’t. Stop.” He wheezes, “Had. To. See. You.” He collapses in a heap on the floor.

“Well you didn’t have to sprint here!”

He is still panting minutes later before he composes himself and grins up at you wickedly, “And you, vixen, didn’t have to send me photos of you naked, but here we are.” 

You've got a long night ahead of you.

-

Sodo/Dewdrop:

You didn’t think much of the picture you took

It was provocative, sure, but not explicit

Dewdrop thinks differently though

He’s a sucker for a tease

Boy is off his leash going feral 

Got any more? 🔥

You want more?

Fuck, yes

You send him another picture, this one showing more of your soft skin than the last.

Fuck me

When and where?

All day and I don't care

Bet

He pings your location, he’s on his way.

-

Rain:

You send him a text and a photo of yourself to accompany it

Rain’s phone is a lil slow though, so he only sees your text first

It’s not his fault

But it is his fault that he refuses to upgrade his phone...

I need your help, I fell out of my clothes 😏

Your phone screen lights up. Rain is calling.

You answer in a sensual voice, “Rain? Like what you s-?”

He interrupts you immediately, “You fell?!? Are you okay?!”

“Wait, what?”

He yells again, “Your text!!”

“Oh,” You pause, looking down at your message, “The photo I sent, did you get that?”

“Why would you send me a photo if you fell?”

An exasperated sigh escapes you, “Just wait.”

His phone pings, the picture message coming through finally. He sees a sultry photo of you, bare, in front of the mirror in your bedroom.

“Rain? Are you there?”

He spoke again after a moment, his voice about an octave lower, “I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

-

Mountain:

He does not text

Like, barely at all if he can help it

If you want to discover his weakness though, just send him a suggestive photo

This ghoul will wax poetic about your body all night long

Unless he's tired of course

Hi you

Hi I’m so sleepy

I’ve got something that will keep you awake if you want

Oh?

You send him a suggestive photo of you in bed, the sheet pulled up just barely covering your body and showing plenty of skin.

Fucking hell

Yeah? What would you want to do if you were here?

…

The chat bubbles sit there for about ten minutes before you get antsy.

Mountain?

You send him a meme from SpongeBob: “One Eternity Later”. Still no reply.

I stg if you fell asleep…

The next morning you wake up to a text from him apologizing for falling asleep. A second message says that he isn’t going to tell you what he would do to you, that he’d rather show you instead.

-

Cirrus:

You didn’t give her any warning, you were just feeling yourself so you sent a little slightly nude photo

Cirrus doesn’t have her phone on her though, it’s in her bag

The kicker? She and Cumulus have the same phone, down to identical phone cases which were gifts from Aurora 

Better not open your phone in public while waiting for her to reply

She will always have to one-up you

Cirrus’ phone buzzes, but she ignores it.

Cumulus holds it up because she thinks it's hers and reads the lock screen, “Cir - your ‘Midnight Snack’ sent you a photo message.”

“Could you open it and see what’s up?”

“Sure.” Cumulus pauses, clearing her throat, “Get over here, you’ll want to see this.”

“What could it possibly be -” Her eyes widened into saucers. "That little -"

"Are you going to reply?"

"Yes," Cirrus says confidently, "and you're going to take a photo of me to send back."

There is one thing for certain: her "Midnight Snack" is getting a treat tonight.

-

Cumulus:

She carries her phone around of photo opportunities and to spam the group chat with memes only

You can send her a naughty pic if you want

But it’ll take hours for her reply

She will make the wait well worth your while

You send Cumulus about 20 or so texts before she finally replies to you.

She doesn't read anything, just sees the picture.

Look at you

It's about time!

You look good enough to eat

The moment is over, been over for hours Unless...

You're in luck, little temptress, because we're in different time zones So the moment is just starting for me

You play along, especially when she sends you a photo to up the stakes that has you falling to your knees.

-

Aurora/Sunshine:

Solely communicates via Snapchat, so it’s easy to get a little spicy

She doesn’t get what you’re trying to do though, at first

Once she catches on, all bets are off

What are you doing right now? 

The photo you send is slightly on the sultry side, your hair looking mussed, and your top undone a few buttons.

She sent you a picture back of her wide grin with the line: 

Just shopping! I wanted to get some ribbons for my mic stand 😁

Well what are you wearing?

Her next picture is from someone else’s POV of her body, she’s standing in a cutesy way in corduroy overalls with her arms crossed. 

Idk what this human outfit is called It combines pants and a top and I love it!

You smile at your phone, she’s so fucking adorable. You reply with a chat:

It’s called a jumpsuit, my sweet ❤️

Yes, that’s it! Cumulus says your first message was “sexting”?? 

Your face turns red and she sends another chat message in rapid succession.

I’ll be there after I check out! Don’t unbutton any more of that top! 🍽️

-

They're all truly living rent free in my brain rn

[julysn]

main 3 when they find out you write smut fanfiction

includes: slight cursing, mention of masturbation, reader writes fanfiction, inspired by a true story 😭, reader has a crush on the boys, slightly/moderately ooc(?)

a/n: inspired by something that happened to me where my crush read one of my smuts 🤧 he said it was really good though and then he showed it to all of his friwnds. and then he found out i wrote south park fanfiction.

the worst day of my life methinks…

currently in boston rn 😵‍💫 this might be slightly ooc bc i haven’t slept in a day and a half.. and im short circuiting… but i wanted to write AAAHHHH

kyle broflovski

when he first found out he wasn’t really surprised but was a little (and i mean a little) disgusted

“well you look like you do”

of course you were like “.. what the hell does that mean”

but he’s pretty smart and figures things out quickly so you’re not surprised that he said that

eventually he decides to read one of them because he was curious

he thought it was pretty good but you needed to work on some things so he offered to be your co-writer

something along the lines of “it’s good but you could do these things better”

he’s like a teacher LMFAOA

stan marsh

surprised and kinda disgusted

“what the hell”

after he said that you thought u lost your with him chance fr

eventually you mustered up the courage to ask him to read one of them

why? who the hell knows. yolo.

once he did end up reading one of them because he got curious, and he was surprised because it was really good

he ended up complimenting your writing skills

something like “it’s not that bad”

would never read one of them. ever. again. no matter what + tries to forget it even happened 😭

lucky u didn’t lose your chance w him but its still embarrassing to think about

kenny mccormick

he likes loves how freaky that is 💦

“damn that’s hot” or something 💦

0% judgemental 100% supportive 💦

when he eventually came around to reading it he jerked off. right hand dick left hand scrolling down on his phone bc he’s soaking the sex in!!

he’ll offer to be your co-writer but unlike kyle who wants to help your writing, kenny will 100% make it freakier and sexier 💦

“you should add (freaky obscure sex thing)” and you’re like “… wtf is that”

eventually you let him be your beta reader and editor and your fics were suddenly freakier than ever before!

your readers were delighted by the level of creaminess! (i meant to write freakiness but it autocorrected)

[quinloki]

I Got You

Eustass Kid x fem Reader - bdsm, forced orgasms, use of good girl, squirting, drool.

Apologies for any autocorrected words, knocked this out in one go on my phone at the end of my shift ^^;

Being physically sensitive and having a session with Eustass Kid.

You’re so easy to tickle, so easy to rile up. Ever gentle touch and soft kiss sends bumps over your skin and makes you gasp. There’s nothing you can do, it’s a curse in some ways, maybe you’re a little jumpy too.

Easy to scare.

Easy to tickle.

Easy to pleasure.

Kid’s tying you into a rope dress. The soft rope feels good against your body and you wriggle a little every time he runs his fingers against your skin, checking that the rope’s not too snug.

He teases you, you accept it, there’s no defense.

“Maybe I’ll tie you down and tickle you someday.” He teases.

“Nooooo,” you whine, but it’s not serious. You won’t deny the possibility.

He grins, knowing the opportunity entices you. Especially with him, certain you’d never be able to escape. Trusting him to stop when you needed it.

Kneeling in front of you he spreads your labia apart, the action eliciting a soft rush of air from you even though you knew it was coming. He nestles the wand against your clit and you tense, wiggle, and sigh.

“Seriously?” The damn teasing tone.

“I can’t help it!”

“No aphrodisiacs for you, you’ll literally explode.” He says, delighting in your squirming as he nestles the toy securely in place. “You might not survive this.”

“I bet I’d cum without being touched.” You admit, steadying yourself against the wall.

“You’d explode.” He insists, tugging the ropes and locking the toy in place. Your cry of pleasure seems to agree with his assessment.

“You’re ready to cum already.” He grins, and you cover your mouth, nodding as you look away.

Kid stands up, looming over you so easily. The golden eyes hold your gaze for a moment before he cuffs your wrists to thick leather restraints built into the wall. The ledge had a cushion, forcing your hips forward as the cuffs kept you in place.

Your feet barely touched the floor, forced open with a spreader bar. You’re on display, and someday maybe even for a full audience.

“Look at me.” He commands and you do. There’s no pause, he clicks on the powerful vibrator and you suck in a breath, trying to curl in on yourself and unable to do so because of the restraints.

“FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUCK!” The swear is ripped from your lungs as pleasure eats you alive.

“Hurt?” He asks and you shake your head, gasping harshly again before shivering and moaning. There’s no escape, it’s tied in so well and there’s nothing you can do. Your hips being pushed forward by the ledge drive your clit into the toy and all you can do is take it.

“Say thank you,” Kid demands, looking down at you as you’re already on the verge.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank- FUCK, ah, I’m-.”

“Cum for me.”

And you do. Soundlessly. Your body too taut and too ravaged to do anything but gape up at him and tremble.

As the peak subsides you gasp, whimper, moan, pant and tremble. You can breathe but your even more sensitive and the toy is still going.

Kid grabs a fistful of your hair, it’s almost all of it his hand’s so fucking big, and forces you to look at him.

“Again.” He says, turning a dial with his prosthetic thumb and bringing the toy to a fever pitch right along with you.

Held in place you can’t thrash at all, chains rattling and cuffs creaking as your body pulls taut again. You beg, but he doesn’t relent, and the pleasure is almost too much.

Kid’s knee pushes on the toy and you snap, cumming so hard you scream and squirt, swearing and apologizing and he holds you.

“That’s my good girl. One more, Mouse. One more for me like no one else can do.” His voice is velvet and coarse rocks, heat and honey and need. His eyes are light and life like the gold of the sun and all you can do is babble as the third orgasm has you drooling and breathing in heavy ragged gasps.

Your tongue hangs out of your mouth, drool dripping from it has heavy desperate breathes scratch their way in and out of your throat. Please, you rasp, one more, please, you need it, you want it, you can’t even say it.

“I got you.” He says and hot lips devour your nipple, the extra stimulation being what you needed and your pleasure splatters on the stone floor as you squirt from the rush of pleasure that turns your muscles to mush and your bones to gel.

Cutting the toy away, releasing one arm, then the other, he has you draped over his shoulder as he unhooks your ankles. Cradled in his arms he praises you, checks on you, holds you.

You’ll come back to your senses at some point, and until then, he has you.

[brisquad-unit-4402]

rating luxiem and noctyx by how good they would be at taking care of bugs

my name is unit 4402 and i’m typing this on my phone. autocorrect’s suggested emojis are going to go crazy wish me luck

tags: ambiguous relationship, can be read as platonic or romantic, gender neutral reader, fluff, humor, bugs and spiders

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

🖋 Ike Eveland: 4/10

he’s neutral about most bugs. he’ll pick up critters like beetles and caterpillars with his hands and set them outside

gets grossed out by the nastier bugs though. won’t touch ‘em himself, they’re lucky if he can gather himself enough to get a paper and cup. otherwise it’s swatter time with gritted teeth and barely mustered courage

SPIDERS. HOWEVER.

certified spider hater. absolutely terrified of them get out of here!!!

he'll use a swatter, pesticides, everything. but he’s so afraid of how they disappear when he’s not looking

you’ll have to keep an eye on it while he finds the pesticide or vice versa

if he’s unfortunate enough to be the one to kill it you’ll have to hype him up, calm his nerves, and then tell him it’s okay once the deed is done

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

🦁 Luca Kaneshiro -100/10

this guy… easily the worst of both units at bug duty. you might just have to take the bullet

he gets sketched out by even the cute ones like butterflies and ladybugs if he looks at them for too long. there’s no way he could even take a moth with a level head

he even reacts to all of them the same. “AAAAH! T-t-there’s a [BUG NAME] in [room name]!”

even so he tries to be nice to them with a cup and paper, or some other method to get them out of his space

unfortunately australian wildlife has prepared him so smaller bugs are still scary but he’ll be a big scared scary mafia boss and take action

and everyone says they’ll leave the house as a joke if they can’t find the spider but it’s luca. there is a solid chance that he will invite you to stay with him in one of the kaneshiro vacation homes for about three days. that’s enough time for the bugs to leave, right?

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

👟 Shu Yamino: 10/10

oh! a bug!

is rather delighted at bug!

honestly if it’s a cool bug he might just take a video of it doing its thing and give it a personality!

he has a out-of-sight, out-of-mind philosophy with bugs. he’s fine with just about anything as long as they aren't annoying

harmful pests will get swatted tho ofc

everything else, he’s fine with bringing outside himself without much fanfare

some of them are a little creepy but he tries to rationalize it. they’re just tiny animals and he’s a big strong sorcerer, it’s fine. what are they gonna do, infest him to death?

…he’s going to spray the house down later just to be sure.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

👹 Vox Akuma: 9/10

a wild card. and also VERY emotionally invested in any bugs that come his way whether that’s good or bad

if they manage to sneak up on him he’ll probably yell “WOAH” or curse out of surprise, then figure out whether he should be scared or not

surprisingly fine with the nastiest of them. he actually loves worms, centipedes and similar critters, and he’ll even admire them if they stumble into his territory

“look reader this is me if i were a worm. would you still love me if i was a worm 🥺” “vox please just get that thing outside”

spiders have a 50-50 survival chance. he’ll kill small spiders but bring the big ones outside because the big ones are like full Animals to him and slaughtering animals is not something he can bring himself to do (tiny ones don’t count)

are scorpions bugs? do they count? either way that’s his one objection. he wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole if he had the choice, but if you’re really that scared, then he’ll put on a brave face and hide his fear

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

🎭 Alban Knox: 2/10

if he’s going to take care of a bug you need to make peace with the fact that he will whine the entire time

not a cute fun whine either. he’ll complain the entire time that it’s gross and nasty and ewww yuck ugh!

and that’s just for beetles and caterpillars

show him a spider or something else just as creepy and he will actually scream

and yell as he fumbles around to take care of it

and yell as he eventually grabs it with his hands (he’s panicking a little too hard to get a tool)

and yell as he tries to open the door and throw it outside

this is assuming he doesn’t find a slipper nearby. if he has a tissue or something he’ll smash the bug over and over until it’s pulverized

and he’ll STILL be yelling while he does that

the job gets done but at what cost

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

🐑 Fulgur Ovid: 6/10

he’s not a 6/10 because he dislikes bugs. he’s neutral towards them, not really creeped out by them but not a fan either

he’s a 6/10 because he’s a dick about taking care of them for you

here’s how it usually goes: you summon him to save you from a creepy crawly. he’ll inspect it and go “really, you’re scared of that little thing? look at it closer, it’s just a bug”

and once he quits fooling around he just swipes it up. his fingers are solid steel which allows for Precise Bug Snatching

but he’ll act unsure and go “i think i got it. here, reader, look inside my hand and tell me if you see it”

or even the dreaded move where he pretends he’s bringing the bug closer to you so you have to see it

and THEN once he’s outside he’ll open his hands and go “wait i think i lost it” just to get a rise out of you until he confirms yes, it’s safe and out of the house

if you’re legitimately terrified then he doesn’t even bother with the jokes. just point out the bug and close your eyes, and he’ll be washing his hands while you stare back at a smudge on the wall before you can even get out a sentence

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

🔗 Sonny Brisko: 8/10

somehow both a gentle soul and a complete menace

he's very matter-of-fact when you point them out. "it's just a little jumping spider, no big deal ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

in fact he's almost adorable with how he quietly talks to the bugs and coaxes them to crawl on his hand so he can get them out of your way

and then he prods and begs you to take a picture of the bug bc it's a cool little guy

surprisingly knowledgeable and can identify bugs easily, so once he's got one in his hands he'll show it to you and tell you some facts about it

which is very sweet except for the fact that it's still a nasty bug and you want it out of your face!

he'll lightly tease you over being so scared of a little bug while he takes them outside. and if it's a pest-eater like a spider he'll hide it in a dark corner out of your sight

overall very kind to bugs and thinks they're friendly

which is why it throws you so hard that sometimes after he coos over them he just FUCKING SMASHES THEM IN HIS PALM?

NO HESITATION AT ALL??

WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM???

also when the bug is taken care of he'll sneak behind you and lightly tap his fingers up your arm like a creepy-crawly and then laugh when you get scared. what a shithead

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

🔮 Uki Violeta: 15/10

the very essence of "i'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with ME"

it's like watching a cat hunt an unaware mouse. he's so quick about it

and he's so good at it too?? he'll find the bug, swat it, and throw the remains away in less than a minute on a good day

doesn't even act like it's a big deal either, he just goes back to what he was doing before you asked for help

he uses tissues or shoes on the big ones like roaches, but anything small, he's surprisingly good at crushing them with his bare hands. this is especially funny when he has acrylics on bc those nails never get dirty nor in the way

spiders get the relocation pass, and he'll insist they stay inside, just out of sight

non-zero chance if you complain about it, he'll go on a lecture about how spiders are how you prevent other pests from invading the house

honestly you only see this side of uki once. the bugs are too scared to show their faces after this stint

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi

[kenobihater]

rating the most common ways i misspell obi-wan's name on my phone

Obi-Wam Kenobi

6.5/10 - reminds me of the iconic 1980's pop duo wham

Oni-Wan Kenobi

8/10 - he is indeed a demonic creature to me <3

Obi-Wan Keobi

2/10 - this is the second most common mistake i make thanks to my clumsy thumbs, i rarely catch it, and it's not even funny. my autocorrect now accepts it as a valid word and i've removed it from my learned words once already

Obo-Wan Kenobi

7/10 - big win for the woodwind community

Obi-Wan Kenobo

8.5/10 - this is funnier than the previous typo in my opinion. it's at the end of his name, so the woodwind jumpscare feels more like a punchline

Obi-Wan Kenobu

9/10 - i've heard it's a great restaurant from my aunt, i'd genuinely like to eat there

Obi-Wan Kebobi

4/10 - could be funnier

Ovi-Wan Kenobi

0/10 - my most common typo. utterly cursed, but anything i say criticizing this one could be held against me. i hereby state that i remain ignorant of the connotations of this spelling, and assert that it gets a poor score based on vibes alone. i have deleted it from my autocorrect's learned words multiple times, but i make this mistake so often that it continues to haunt me

[riversandwinds]

kiss it better?

a/n: hi hi hi! this is my very first fic, I’ve never written anything before so we’ll see how this goes. please be nice, tell me if you hate it xx ! also I got fed up with autocorrect changing y/n to yen so I just gave her a name 😭

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

summary: Being an art student, Amara’s life gets so stressful around finals week. When everything starts to go downhill, Chris is there to fight with her, and maybe even kiss it better afterwards.

warnings: swearing, angst (happy ending), kissing, not really anything else except for female rage lmfao, no use of y/n

word count: 1.7k-ish

Not proofread 🤓

lots of love ~ Rivvie

What better way to start your day off than with a whole lot of chaos. Amara was jolted awake by the alarm clock’s incessant beeping slicing through her and Chris’s quiet room. Sitting up, her face paled as she saw the time, seeing that she slept through her morning lecture. Panic surged through her, immediately throwing the covers off and shooting up out of bed (much to Chris’s very audible disappointment). She grabbed random pieces of her closet off the floor in a frantic rush, barely managing to get out the door fully clothed with a “Byeloveyousomuchpleasecleanthehouse!”. (She forgot her glasses, then her phone, then her bag, making her run back to their room 3 more times.)

Shouting her final goodbye to Chris, she could feel her phone all but explode in her pocket. She was too disoriented to focus on the messages, so she ignored it, figuring it was just a random group chat. She sprinted through the commons, finally checking her phone after deciding she didn’t care enough to make it to the lecture hall.

lindsey manager (🫥)

sarah no-showed. need you to fill in today asap.

???

amara hello

Of-fucking-course, Amara thought to herself. With a huff, she turned on her heel, making her way to the campus coffee shop. I don’t even have my work clothes, God hates me.

At work, the hours dragged by as she endured her manager’s endless complaints. “You’re late, Amara, hurry up.”, “Where the hell is your uniform?”, “No, you’re not doing it right-“

The poor girl was on edge, to say the least. Her late start didn’t help, either, as she didn’t have any time to grab food from their dorm. She was barely able to handle her hunger as she worked through her shift, her empty stomach cramping by the time her shift was done. She clocked out, silently cursing Lindsey, the shop, and every customer who walked in during her shift.

As exhausted as she was, she called her professor as she was walking out, booking the ceramics room for a few hours. Finals were quickly approaching, and her clay tea set was only partially finished. She headed to the studio, hoping to make at least a little progress on her project and make up for lost time.

Her day only continued to spiral. She’d been in the studio for all but 20 minutes before she wanted to destroy the Earth entirely. As she was leaving the kiln room, tray full of breakables in hand, the door next to her flung open, slamming into her. Not only did it: A) Slam her glasses into the bridge if her nose, cutting her face, but it B) sent her entire tea set to the ground, shattering into thousands of tiny clay shards. Amara’s world collapsed in that moment. Tears streamed down her face as she stared at the wreckage, unable to muster the strength to pick up the fragments. With a choked sob, she grabbed her bag and fled the studio, feeling the weight of her disastrous day press down on her.

Stumbling into her apartment, she hoped for just a semblance of order. But the sight of the messy living room—pizza boxes, crumpled papers, clothes everywhere—made her heart sink even lower. She dropped her bag and collapsed to her knees, her body shaking with a mix of exhaustion and frustration.

“A-are you kidding me?” Amara’s voice cracked as she shouted, her frustration pouring out uncontrollably. “I’ve had the worst day- oh god… I missed my lecture, got screamed at at work, my project is destroyed, and now this mess? I can’t do this-”

Chris, complete with an Xbox controller and a headset, emerged from their room with wide eyes. He froze, his mouth slightly open in surprise as he took in his girlfriend’s state. “Baby, woah, what’s going on?” He set the controller aside and stood next to Amara, honestly a little confused. “Why the meltdown?”

Wrong choice of words, clearly, as her red, tear-filled eyes snapped to his, going wide.

“Why the meltdown?” Amara exploded, her voice rising in volume as she began to frantically clean up the mess. “Because today has been a fucking wreck! I asked you to pick up a little, just a little, Chris! A-and you couldn’t even manage that! I come home to- to this after the worst day of my life, and you’re just sitting here playing games!”

Chris blinked, taken aback by her outburst. “Mar, calm down. It’s not that big of a deal. I was going to clean up, but I got sidetracked. It’s not like—” he bends down to pull Amara off the floor, but retracts when she spits out her response.

“It’s not like what?” she snapped, angry tears streaming down her face. “It’s not like it matters to you? You think I can just handle everything on my own while you sit at home and do nothing? I’m at my breaking point, and all I wanted was the trash off the floor!”

Chris’s eyes widened, his initial nonchalance giving way to frustration. “Hey, I didn’t make your day go bad. I get that you’re upset, but yelling at me isn’t going to fix anything. I’m just trying to understand here!”

Amara’s anger reached its peak. She stood up, maniacally grabbing all of the dirty cups and pieces of trash, stomping to the kitchen to deal with it. “You think I’m yelling just for fun? You have no idea what my day was like! I’ve been on the edge all day, and instead of coming home to something decent, our house is a disaster and you don’t even seem to care!” Throwing her now empty hands up, she lets out a choked cry, pushing past Chris to enter their bedroom.

After seeing Amara sobbing and slamming the door to their room, Chris’s demeanor shifted dramatically. He stood in the living room, the weight of her words sinking in. With a deep sigh, he started cleaning up the mess with a quiet guilt, his movements deliberate and focused. He managed to tidy up the living room, stopping to order Amara’s favorite takeout. He grabbed the blankets from the closet, setting up the couch and scrolling Amazon Prime for a movie to rent. (He eventually settled on Barbie Princess Charm School, figuring it would appease Amara.)

Around 30 minutes later, when Amara emerged from the room, she was met with a surprisingly clean space and the comforting aroma of her favorite food. Chris looked up from arranging the food on the coffee table, his face softening as he saw her. “Look, sweetheart, I’m really sorry. I didn’t realize the house was this bad,” he said, his tone earnest. “I thought I could fix it.”

Amara’s anger dissipated as she took in the scene. “Chris, I—” she started, her voice wobbling with her bottom lip. “I didn’t mean to lash out like that. I was just... overwhelmed.”

Chris walked over and pulled her into his chest, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I get it now. I’m sorry you had such an awful day, Ma.” She shrugged, pressing a kiss to his chest.

Spontaneously-DoorDashed desert arrived around ten minutes later, to which Amara all but inhaled while she focused on the movie in front of her. After almost dosing off for the third time, Chris paused the movie, brushing hair out of Amara’s exhausted face.

“Time for bed, baby. Let’s get you cleaned up, huh?” Chris said, pulling a whiny Amara up from the couch, leading her to their room.

He first took care of the little cut on her nose, placing a small kiss over it when he was done. After she was undressed and her hair was brushed, he helped her into the shower, his touch gentle as he guided her through the calming process. While she was in the shower, Chris busied himself tidying up the rest of the apartment, clearing up their dinner and putting up the clean dishes in the kitchen.

When Amara emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towel, refreshed and feeling a bit more centered, she found Chris remaking their bed, having switched out their sheets for clean ones. The room was now a haven of comfort, with soft lighting and the faint sound of the unpaused Barbie movie playing in the background. The big lights were off, the room illuminated by the soft string lights on the wall.

“God, Chris,” Amara said, her voice filled with appreciation. “This looks amazing. Thank you for cleaning, baby. I’m sorry I yelled at you over it…” she pouted slightly.

Chris smiled softly. “I know I messed up, and I’m sorry for being kinda useless. I figured this might help some more.”

He reached out and grabbed her in a bear hug, resting his chin on her head. “It’s okay, sweetheart. We all have rough days, and I should have been more understanding. I’m just glad we can talk things out and make them better.” He pulled back to kiss between her eyebrows, the tip of her nose, and a soft peck on her lips, smoothing her hair down with his hands.

He helped her get dressed, slipping a sleep shirt over her head and sliding her underwear and shorts up her legs, kissing her knee with a grin. Amara appreciated his efforts, feeling the weight of her stress lift with each passing moment.

After a few minutes, and a few yawns from both parties, Chris turned off the string lights and the tv, declaring it was bedtime. They climbed into their newly-made bed, snuggling up under the comforter. Chris wrapped his arms around Amara, pulling her close as she rested her head on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his embrace and the comfort of being understood.

“I really do love you, you know,” Amara said softly, her sincere voice filling the dark room. “Thank you for kissing it better, Chris.”

Chris kissed her forehead gently. “Always, and I love you too, pretty girl. I’ll do better next time, pinky promise.”

As the sleepy mumbling played on, they remained in each other’s arms, the earlier turmoil of the day replaced by a sense of peace and safety.

Finally settling into a comfortable silence, Amara felt her eyelids get heavy. She yawned, pressing into Chris who kissed her forehead with a hum. She relaxed into Chris’s embrace, feeling like a precious stone in the hands of a jeweler. They drifted off, Chris’s immediate snoring lulling Amara to sleep with a lovesick grin on her lips.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

tags: @her-favorite (u the only one bb 🌝)

[nerdiel-has-no-braincells]

A Lifetime | Death

feat: Nanami Kento x fem!reader, Gojo Satoru x fem!reader

cw: cussing, mention of death/suicide, mental illness, slight child neglect, spoilers for jjk

summary: taking the news of the death of your husband was something you never expected. you spiral into despair as you grieve

a/n: this hasn’t been proofread, so please forgive any typos and mistakes! I write on my phone and I have autocorrect on because I’m too lazy to fix what I type

next chapter ↝ | masterlist

You stood in the kitchen staring at Yaga with wide eyes, your hands shaking.

“W-What?” you asked quietly.

Yaga rubbed the back of his neck and exhaled through his nose. He knew this would be hard, but he wanted to be the one to tell you rather than anyone else. He was your teacher and friend.

“Nanami Kento was killed in battle against the curse Mahito. Itadori Yuji reported this incident as soon as he could.” Yaga spoke quietly.

Your heart stopped and the shaking proceeded to become worse, causing your hands to crush the glass you were holding as you were about to set a glass of tea down for Yaga. This caused the porcelain shards to cut into your hand, causing Yaga to immediately jump from his seat, rounding the island in your kitchen to get to you.

You couldn’t feel anything though, couldn’t process the news. The wounds you received didn’t even register to you as Yaga took your hand and ran it under the water, gently taking out the shards.

Kento, your beloved husband, was killed. By a curse. He had told you about the upcoming incident with the promise of coming home on time as usual. You remember him leaving in the morning as usual, leaving you with a kiss to the top of your son’s forehead and a kiss to your lips, making sure to tell you both that he loved you.

But he wasn’t coming home. Ever again.

As soon as your brain processes this, the tears welled up in your eyes, your legs giving out and you fall to the floor. The fall was softened by Yaga, who was in the middle of treating your wounds.

Once you’re on the floor, the tears began to flow, heaving sobs and screams escaping your throat. You’ve lost the love of your life, your soul mate, your best friend. You couldn’t believe this to be real, hitting yourself in order to determine whether this was real or just a terrible and excruciating nightmare.

After the first hit, you raised your hand once more, ready to strike yourself again before Yaga gently grabbed your wrist.

“Y/N.” He spoke.

You had no energy to fight against him. The air escaped from your lungs and you felt yourself have a panic attack. How were you supposed to go on without him? How can he not be here to watch your son grow?

And then it hit you — your son. How was he going to process the news? How will you tell him?

Your mom would come home after picking your son up from preschool in a couple of hours. He was so attuned to your emotions that he would know something would be off. Your son was only 4, he wouldn’t fully comprehend grief just yet as he was still learning how to be more attuned to his emotions and keep them under control.

Fortunately for you, he had his father’s personality. He was incredibly smart and understood things perfectly fine when it came to anger, but he had never had to learn how to control his grief.

The thought split your already broken heart further, feeling as if the shards of your heart had spread and was stabbing you on the inside, slowly making its way through your body, making sure to stab every nerve you had along the way.

“Y/N.” Yaga spoke to you in a gentle tone.

For the first time since you found out, you looked at Yaga through blurred eyes, fully recognizing that your tears hadn’t stopped and Yaga had been holding your hands. Your throat burned, just how long were you screaming as your tears fell?

Yaga’s expression was that of utmost concern. He was your teacher, having taught you, Nanami, and Haibara. The three of you were close to each other as he remembered.

Eventually you and Nanami had begun dating within your first year before getting married after he left the Jujutsu world. Yaga, of course, had been invited as Nanami’s best man. The wedding itself was beautiful and you were stunning. The way your and Nanami’s eyes sparkled as you saw each other was something out of romance novels and Yaga felt a sort of pride knowing that he had watched the two of you since the beginning.

And here he was, at the end, the one place where he didn’t want to be as he watched you crumble in front of his very eyes. Jujutsu sorcerers dying was almost common, but Nanami was a great sorcerer. Yaga should have known that even the strong ones would fall eventually.

First Gojo disappears, and now Nanami is dead, two things Yaga never would have expected. But he had grieved as much as he could, it was your turn to grieve. And he was here for you as often as he can be due to the events in Shivuya taking what little sorcerers we’re available. He would have asked you to join, but he didn’t want to risk Yu to become an orphan at such an early age when he’s expected to manifest his powers any day now.

Looking into your eyes, he felt his heart break. You were never to look like this, so broken and done.

You were waiting patiently for Yaga to speak, the tears never ending as you hiccup every so often, the sobs having done so much to your throat.

“Nana- no, Kento,” he corrected himself “was a great sorcerer and he will be deeply remembered throughout the years. I will help you with funeral services as soon as Shibuya is dealt with, this I promise you.”

You tried your best to smile, showing Yaga the appreciation you feel, but it felt so wrong to smile, not while you’re grieving. Instead, you nod. You couldn’t find it in your heart to be vocal fearing that as soon as you open your mouth, you’ll start screaming again.

Yaga continued to hold your hands as you worked through your tears before he was called away.

You hadn’t moved from your marital bed since Yaga left, hugging Kento’s pillow tight, feeling your heart painfully pounding against your chest, your body growing numb as emotions left your body completely. Even the feel of your own heartbeat had begun to feel numb.

You never thought you’d have to experience this in your lifetime. Kento was a strong sorcerer and he was physically gifted in combat. You couldn’t ask for the details, afraid that your imagination would run wild with the details.

The front door clicked open and shut, indicating that your mom and son were home.

“Y/N? Where are you dear?” Your mother called out.

“Mommyyyyyy!” Yu yelled.

Hearing the tiny footsteps, Yu knew exactly where to find you; in your room. Pushing open the door, Yu sees your form on the bed and his eyebrows upturned — he could feel something was wrong when you didn’t greet him like you normally do.

“Mommy?” He called out, nearing your bed before using the stepping stool you and Kento left on the side of the bed so that when Yu needed the two of you, he could climb into bed himself and cuddle in between the two of you. He felt safest in between you and his father.

“Mommy what’s wrong?” Yu asked as he climbed your bed and crawled his way over to you.

“Yu? Did you find mommy?” Your mother asked as she entered your room, stopping as she sees your still form on the bed. Yu looked at his grandmother, worry expressed on his face.

“Gram? What’s wrong with mommy?” He asked.

As your mother neared you, she shook her head. “I’m not too sure sweetie, why don’t you go to your room so I can talk to your mommy?”

Yu shook his head and held onto you. It was pitiful, you couldn’t even register your own son’s arms. You didn’t feel even an ounce of happiness that your son was home.

“Yu,” your mother spoke in a gentle tone “I need you to please let me talk to mommy. It might not be something you’re meant to hear.”

Yu gazed at his grandmother before looking at your expressionless face, your eyes red, hugging his father’s pillow before looking back at his grandmother, nodding with a solemn expression before safely sliding off of the bed. He walked to the door before turning to look back at you.

“I love you mommy…” he spoke before leaving entirely, heading to his room as instructed.

As soon as the door was mostly shut in Yu’s room, your mother looked at you. Sitting on the edge of your bed, she placed her hand on your arm, trying her best to be gentle with you.

“Hon? What happened.” Your mother asked.

You felt your tears sting your eyes. Biting your lower lip, you try your best to contain your tears before covering your face with the pillow.

“Kento’s dead, mom.” Your voice squeaked, hoarse as you spoke. And that was it, your tears fell again as you began to sob into the pillow, attempting to muffle the sound as to not alarm Yu, who you were sure was listening in his room.

Your mother felt her heart break, seeing you like this. She knew the risk of being a Jujutsu sorcerer, but she also knew Kento was particular when it came to the missions. She for sure believed that he would stay alive, but fate is inevitable.

“Honey…” rubbing your arm, she felt your body shaking as you attempted to hold back your tears. “You can go ahead and cry, don’t hold them back. You know it upsets your stomach.”

You snapped and looked at your mom, brows furrowed.

“I don’t care about my stomach ma! My husband is dead! My partner, the love of my life, Yu’s father!” You yelled.

Your mother’s brows knitted together. “Please keep your voice down honey, you don’t want Yu to hear you.”

Your brows upturned. She was right, you didn’t want Yu to know, not just yet while you were still figuring out how to tell him.

“Daddy’s dead?” A soft voice echoed in the room.

You and your mother’s heads turned towards the doorway to see your son in his pajamas, his tiny hands clutching his shirt, his eyes wide.

Shit.

Your mother sighed and stood, making her way to Yu, before crouching down to his eye level.

“I want to tell him.” Your voice a hoarse whisper.

Your mother looked at you as you stared at the wall in front of you. You looked tired, exhausted even. It was to be expected, losing your significant other was one of the hardest things to go through.

Standing, she patted the top of Yu’s head before leaving the room, giving the two of you privacy.

“Mommy?” Yu asked. He knew you were sad and he could see it in your eyes. You looked at him and gave him a pained smile.

“Come here, baby. Let me hold you.” You asked, holding your arms out for him.

Yu immediately ran to the stepping stool, lifting himself on the bed and into your arms. Wrapping your arms around him, you looked into his eyes, the same eyes that resembled Nanami’s with your hair color.

You remembered when you were pregnant with him, Kento had quit working at his job because he was tired of exploiting others for the sake of money, and you wholeheartedly agreed with his decision. He had become a Jujutsu sorcerer once again.

You inhaled then exhaled. Looking into the eyes of your son once more, you raised your hand to gently set it on his cheek, rubbing it.

“I’m afraid that —“ you paused to control your tears, but your voice betrayed you as you continued. “Daddy’s not coming home.”

Yu tilted his head. “When is daddy coming home?”

Your breath hitches, doing your absolute best to control your emotions for your son. You never thought you would have to say this.

“He…he won’t be coming home, baby. There were complications in daddy’s mission and he…he passed away, sweetie.”

Yu stared at you as if he was trying to gauge your emotions to better attune himself to it. Eventually, the tears welled up in his eyes.

“Mommy?” Yu cried. If you could feel anything, you could feel what was the rest of your broken heart shatter. And the fact that you don’t feel anything when looking at your crying son makes you feel horrible. But you were broken and didn’t have it in you.

As the arms around your son tightened slightly to reassure him that you were there. But were you really? The two of you were grieving for the loss of Kento, your husband and Yu’s father.

You couldn’t even feel your son in your arms, the numbing feeling taking over you, the poison coursing through your veins, numbing your body but not enough to no longer feel the pricks to remind you of the poison, the grief you were feeling.

“-ey? Y/N!”

Your eyes snapped up to look at your mom, who was standing beside your bed, staring at you, her expression full of concern.

“Honey, I can stay with you, help you take care of Yu.”

You shook your head.

“I just…I just want to be left alone.” You answered, your voice had gone from a choke from holding back your tears to a low monotone devoid of emotion.

“I can take Yu and he can stay with me while you grieve.” She offered.

Yu immediately pulled away and shook his head.

“No! I wanna stay with mommy! I don’t wanna go!” He yelled as he cried harder, as if he was throwing a tantrum, which in this case would count as a tantrum.

Your mom reached her arms out and went to gently take Yu from your arms as they loosened your hold on him. As soon as your mom touched Yu, he screamed and grabbed onto your shirt.

“No! Mommy!” He screamed, holding onto you as he screamed and cried.

You continued to sit there as your son was clutching onto you for dear life, begging you to keep him safe but you didn’t have the energy to do so.

Yu continued to clutch onto you while your mother tried to pick him up. Every gentle pull resulted in him screaming and eventually your mother gave up, leaving him to cry on your chest. Sighing, your mother looked at you.

“I’ll come back tomorrow to take Yu to preschool, ok?”

“I don’t wanna go!” Yu screamed. He wanted nothing more than to be with you, his safe haven. But could you provide your son with that safety?

I hope this turned out well! I’ve been stewing on this for a few days while I’ve been trying to think of how to write the Lucifer story.

I planned on making this a series, so please let me know if you’d like to see more!

Jujutsu Kaisen belongs to Gege Akutami

©️nerdiel-has-no-braincells Please do not copy, translate, and post as your own. Reblogs, likes, and comments are ok with me!

[dbphantom]

whoag!!! so cool!!!!!!

i doubt anyone wants this, but here's the template in case you do!

chapter 1 of the merman lewis fic has been posted

[link in reblog bc apparently tumblr hides posts with links in them from tags]

[moltengoldveins]

Episode 6 Commentary because I can (first half of the ep. Cause I have the Attention Deficit in High Definition:

Dani low key implying Elyse can run if she needs to, my girl XDDD

Kyana and Dani both scanning for people in white to murder my beloved, I just learned that was a job of the MOH and I’m so happy about it.

Nell in the mother of the bride dress I can’t.

VR-LA is so Handsome, my Son, I Love Him.

Karundetrassi and Hira are just….. the funniest duo I think I can imagine. Bellbottom jeans taken to the cartoonish extreme, jangly pants made of shiny saucers, sheer button up alllll the way up, nips on Full Display, these two don’t know how to dress themselves for a wedding.

Delphine lookin GOOD. DANG.

Gosh darn reporters, why. (VR-LA was like two seconds from teleporting her into the sun my guy XD)

“I guess this is what we’re wearing.” Vahs my beloved.

“Is she wearing white?” “She is wearing white.” “ABSOLUTELY NOT.”

(Wine thigh holster is an amazing mental image and one I find unnaturally appealing. I might do that for my bffs wedding.)

-Aaaaaand it’s KYANA WITH A BOTTLE OF WIIINE!!!! *Air horn noises*-

“Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of our… fricken… backstories, ah whatever, I Cast Fireball.”

(my phone really hates spelling Vhas’s name. So far I’ve gotten autocorrect to write Bans, Vans, Chas, and Baja. I’m loosing my mind.)

anyway, Vahs&Kyana battle friendship is my new favorite thing :D

Dani!! Taking charge!!! Making plans!!!

“Oi! Bloodbag!” Is my new favorite greeting.

“Ugh, I keep forgetting my dumb wedding and it’s dumb bonus effect to my dumb ac.”

“I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE AGAINST YOU MUSHROOMS!!!!” “I do not see it, I do not believe it.” This just in, Area Man Actively Incapable of Gaining VR-LA’s Respect Despite Multiple Attempts, More at 6

Noir and Sophia’s cold read of ‘She gets knocked down, but she gets up again.’ ‘They’re never gonna keep her down.’ While in the background Kyana carves into the bride like a firm salami is probably my favorite part of this fight so far XD

CURSE AUSTIN AND HIS INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF VR-LAS ABILITY TO COUNTERSPELL ONLY ON REACTIONS NO-

…. Vahs Backstory Pog???

aaaaaand the Break

[frogwithhatto]

König being Austrian

I posted these like a week ago on Ao3 and totally forgot to cross post them here!!

- König speaks the roughest german dialect known to man there’s no way he speaks high/clean German like they do in Germany. He can talk clean German but just chooses not to just to fuck with anyone who might have a poor command on his language.

- He swears. A LOT, like to the point where there are bets on how often he will use certain words of his mother tongue. I’m talking „oarschdreck“ and „gschissener“

- When someone pisses him off he mumbles „deppada oarsch“ under his lil hood. He knows no one will hear it so maybe he throws in some more of his favourite curses.

- „Schau da die trotteln an so a Haufen deppada.“

- His phone has autocorrect on and some English words get corrected to German one’s so texting with him involves a lot deciphering. It also doesn’t help that he uses like 10 different emoji’s after every sentence.

- I know that man makes an excellent cucumber salad. It’s definitely his comfort food. It’s cut up cucumbers with a dressing made of sourcream, garlic, vinegar, oil and a bit of sugar. Most of the time he will eat it straight away but sometimes he has enough self control to let it sit for a bit. (It’s way better if the cucumbers soak up some of the dressing!)

- Speaking of food. He loves cooking for other people and will be incredibly careful and considerate when it comes to special diets, allergies as well as vegetarian and vegan food. (He just wants everyone to be happy and full okay??)

- He also bakes (occasionally). He got gifted one of those god awful aprons with the sexualised picture of a woman’s body wearing a Dirndl on the front. (please tell me you know what I’m talking about)…he wears it every time he bakes and cooks.

- L o v e s to sing along to German Songs knowing no one understands a word. (Especially when he’s drunk)

- He loves Rammstein. (No I won’t consider other opinions)

- König‘s taste in music is generally heavier but he does like to listen to Falco from time to time.

- Definitely watches children’s shows he remembers fondly from growing up whenever he comes home from a mission it’s sort of a tradition. Will ask other people if they want to join him because he forgets the fact he watches them in German. He would eat Griesbrei (with cocoa powder) or rice pudding (with raspberry syrup) while watching.

- English not being his first language he sometimes struggles with it especially when he’s drunk, anxious or horny. Switching between the two in a matter of sentences or sometimes even words.

- König knows his English isn’t as bad as it could be but he does get insecure about his accent sometimes. It’s hard for him to pronounce certain words especially if he starts to overthink them. German being a harsher/rougher language when it comes to certain letters makes him struggle with the smoother English ones.

- He loves complimenting people in German. If he musters up the courage to compliment anyone it’s in German and probably half mumbled too.

- Sings or hums german lullabies to himself if he can’t sleep or attempts to ground himself.

- Gets a bit shy about his heritage sometimes so he would be absolutely delighted to teach another person something about his culture and maybe you want him to translate some English words to German?? Want to try some of his favourite food from home? No problem „I vould luv to cook for u.“ he smiles.

- Speaking of someone using German when talking to him… Call him „Meins“ or „Liebling“ and he’s going to be putty in your hands.

Translations: Oarschdreck - fucking shit (?)

Gschissener - could be used for calling someone an asshole

Deppada oarsch - dumb asshole

Schau da die Trotteln an so a Haufen deppada - look at those idiots, a bunch of douches

Meins - mine, Liebling - my love

[zestialmorde]

🕸️Slightly Important Mod Update🕸️

Adding this to the back of the queue Thursday evening. So if you see this on not Thurday, consider this update valid :3

After facing numerous roadblocks, our trailer is finally ready to move into (provided it doesn't catch fire tonight). Big things are happening! But as with all good things, there must be a catch. The catch here seems to be rather small—no internet. But what's the big deal, right? Surely your phone has data? You fool! Of course, my phone has data, but it is also cursed with autocorrect (a feature I cannot turn off, lest I become incomprehensible).

Are you aware of what autocorrect hates even more than curse words? Old English. Surely we are on the same page about what the issue is. Now, is this an unbeatable hurdle? Of course not! But it does make speaking as Zestial more cumbersome, making me question all my life choices with every rewritten "thee."

With the dramatics out of the way, posts may slow until internet is obtained. Please have patience, and hopefully, we will get internet soon.

[calandrinon]

i did not mean ad gloriam duvet but i do now >:)

anyway n-avem oști, dară iubirea de moșie e un zid care nu se-nfiorează de-a ta faimă, baiazid

no, no, no, calm down, no need to get the arms ready

Weithiau, mae angen rhywfaint o help ar hyd yn oed

Nous somme ensemble, car maintenant nous avons un enemi commun

Mucho más grande que yo, y mucho más terrible

Cal is on one task, i shall give you the other, sooner or later

(PS : Daj się przetłumaczyć)

hostes nostri legionem fortasse, sed teutones sumus. arminius nos ad gloriam ducet