#curse past me for deciding on the chapter structure before the plot

[dashuisofanubis]

Okay whatever multichapter fic I write next its going to have shorter chapters 😅

[ethanesimp]

THE OAK TREE // ZERO E.T. 

Pairing: Ethan Torchio x GN! Reader

Summary: Everyone at the Oakes Academy is aware of the rivalry that exists between two of the school’s best students, Ethan Torchio and Y/N L/N. What nobody knows is what a brilliant team they are when they’re at risk of their reputations being damaged and a killer’s on the loose.

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Just Ethan and Y/N behaving like children, mentions of killing someone (as a joke), swearing.

Masterlist // Taglist link in bio

TEASER

A/N: This is the first chapter of The Oak Tree! I hope you guys enjoy :) Huge thanks to @night-girl-301​ for proofreading this and cheering me on! I was like... scared as shit to post it so yeah.

Taglist (strike means it won’t let me tag you):  @oro-e-diamanti @gretavanfleetlove @victoriadeangeliswifey @cheese-toastie-11 @selenophiliaxx @superchrystaldrug @petit-poussin @bidet-and-legolas @fallingforyou123 @ethaneskin @soft-boy-ethan @teenyweenynightghost @reputationdamiano @cantaraiilmionome @tabi-toast @queen-of-brokenhearts @geklutst-ei @juststalking @cruz-ata @ohtorchio​ @ethan-torchio-angelo​ @unitermoonshine​ @everythingisdefinitelynotfine​

It was only a few minutes past two-thirty when you managed to open the door that led to the greenhouse. The key, more often than not, would get stuck in the lock, and you’d have to spend a few minutes trying to yank it free, but this time around luck seemed to be on your side.

You placed your large black backpack on the stool that was always by the door before closing the entrance again. Mr. Murphy was still watering the plants, completely oblivious to your presence thanks to the loud music coming from the small stereo he kept near the gardening tools. You tapped his shoulder gently not to startle him; it wouldn’t be the first time you’d come into the place unannounced and you didn’t want to be the reason why he had to walk around with a cast on his arm again. 

He smiled fondly at you and adjusted his large glasses that were starting to slide down his nose. Mr. Murphy was an old man with long white hair and kind blue eyes, he’d been in charge of the greenhouse at the Oakes Academy for almost twenty years and had been the first person to show you kindness after you first arrived at the place years back.

“I thought I told you to take the afternoon free, Y/N,” He shook his head disapprovingly and you could only shrug. You had to work at the greenhouse at least three hours a week to maintain your scholarship per the Academy’s rules and it’d been long since it stopped being a task and instead became your favorite part of each day. 

“We were let out of Philosophy earlier so I thought I’d come by before I go study. Can I help with anything?” The older man sighed but nodded. He adjusted his glasses once again and wiped the dirt from his jeans.

He pointed at the corner where all the pink anthuriums were kept, shielded from direct sunlight, “Please water those, put a bit of fertilizer on the ones that arrived on Wednesday, and if you’ve got time, can you please feed the worms?” 

“Sure thing, anything else?”

“Just those three things. I’ve got to go help unload the groceries so please lock up both doors once you’re done,” He asked with a smile on his face as he buttoned his coat and grabbed his walking cane from where he’d dumped it on the floor right next to him. Back when you’d only known him for a few days, you’d always rushed to his side to pick up his cane and help him, but quickly realized it was a thing that annoyed him because of how independent and stubborn he was. “Oh and, before I forget, the kid’s outside. I don't want to come back and see you two trying to tear each other's heads off."

A laugh escaped past your lips and you shook your head as you tilted your head to the side so you could look through the hole in one of the windows. Just like he’d said, the boy with the long hair was sitting outside by the oak tree reading a book. You looked back at Mr. Murphy and shrugged, "No promises."

"I'm serious. You're smart Y/N, and I'm pretty sure you could easily find something you've got in common. That much hatred isn't good for either of you." Those were Mr. Murphy's last words before he walked out of the room.

You stood by the plants for a few minutes as you played around with the headphones that hung around your neck. You’d already sort of been startled by the topic you’d seen during Philosophy that day and you hoped that being at the greenhouse would serve as a little distraction but Mr. Murphy’s words hadn’t helped much.

You huffed and looked around for the hose to water the pretty anthuriums to get your mind off of everything that had gone down that day.

-

Hours later, you were still unable to shake Mr. Murphy’s words off. It wasn’t the first time he’d insisted on voicing his thoughts against that rivalry you had going on with the person standing between you and your biggest dream coming true. The thing that pissed you off though, was that his words had reminded you of what your best friend, Rory, had told you just the previous night while you did your usual hate rant. According to them, it was a good way to destress yourself.

You scoffed at the thought alone and let your chin rest on your palm as a frown appeared on your forehead. There was not a thing you could name that made you even remotely similar to the person sitting only a few feet away from you at the quiet school library. Ethan Torchio, a.k.a. Your archnemesis, the person you disliked the most in the face of the earth, was biting on the tip of his pencil as he concentrated hard on the thin black book he was holding up. Those dark eyes that shone honey whenever light hit them just right and those long strands of hair that graciously fell down his back accompanied by his signature turtlenecks and pretty smile were enough to make someone’s knees weak, but they only made you gag. 

You were sure he felt your eyes bore holes into the dark depths of his soul because it didn’t take long for him to look over his shoulder and meet your stare. Ethan smirked and his eyebrows shot up as he sent you a wink and a small wave. You knew that expression of his, he was teasing you, riling you up, hell, maybe he was trying to intimidate you. As crazy —and maybe a bit pathetic— as it made you sound, a simple smirk wasn’t just that when it came to him, never had been. Those dark eyes of his communicated his devilish intentions to you while he looked like an innocent child who’d never break a plate to anyone else.

You held his stare and mirrored his expression, which made him chuckle softly. It was nothing more than a silly game you’d play with one another to see who’d get tired of it first. The stare-off didn’t last too long that time around because his attention was stolen by one of his friends, Thomas. You simply shrugged and went back annotating on your copy of the black book. It was nothing more than one of those books written for the sole purpose of boring people to death. You loved reading, but when it came to those school-issued books that took around three pages to describe the sky-blue sofas in the main character’s living room, you couldn’t read more than a few pages before wanting to aggressively chuck it out the window. 

In a desperate attempt to distract yourself from the book that did nothing other than make you feel miserable, you stood up. You walked over to the large window that went from floor to ceiling. To your delight, the curtains were drawn back, which allowed sunlight to illuminate the otherwise dark library with its beautiful hues of orange and yellow. The librarian was a grumpy woman that loved when the curtains covered all the windows and blocked any source of light that wasn’t the soft glow of the lamps placed all over the dark room. You were almost convinced this woman had never felt the warmth of the sun against her pale and ashy skin, sometimes you even thought of her as a vampire that’d burn to death if she dared to stand outside for a few minutes. 

You looked out the window and admired the green gardens that adorned the front yard of the Academy’s largest building. The Oakes Academy was old and had been around since 1057. However, unlike most ancient schools like this one, the school board hadn’t been too interested in renovating the place outside of simply reinforcing the structure enough to fulfill the basic safety guidelines and the installation of optical fiber wires for a better internet connection. Even then, it was still considered to be one of the most prestigious schools to study at, and if it hadn’t been for the generous scholarship you were offered, you wouldn’t have been able to afford it anyway.

“Still plotting that little plan of yours to end the human race?” You bit down on your bottom lip to stop the colorful curse words from spilling as you turned sideways to look at Ethan. He’d decided to wear one of those annoyingly tight black turtlenecks of his and a pair of plaid trousers that made him look taller than he already was.

“Yes, and I’ll start with you first,” You smiled sarcastically at him, “In fact, I’ll swing by your dorm and murder you in your sleep,” You added while you choked the air for dramatic effect.

Ethan laughed and rolled his eyes. He had that spark of hate in his eyes that was always present when he was talking to you. That look alone told you that all that hatred and disgust you felt towards him was returned in the same magnitude. This rivalry of yours that consisted of dirty looks and constant arguments had been going on since eighth grade and it just seemed to get progressively worse as graduation approached. 

Everyone at Oakes knew how much Ethan and you despised each other, it wasn’t a secret. Even the Head Professor had been a witness of plenty of your many petty fights and you didn’t doubt that the people in charge of the Student Welfare department were sick of the many reports you’d filed against each other for breaking the ‘student rules of politeness’. No one remotely important cared much about your reports anyways because they were far from serious and, more often than not, childish.

“How cute. Although I don’t think that’d work too well for you, would it amore? If something were to happen to me they’d know it was you,” He commented. You shrugged and bit your lip in anger at the nickname he knew very well you detested. 

You casually leaned against the window, “Meh, it’d be worth it if I knew I wouldn’t have to see your face again. Now please get away before someone starts getting the sick idea that we’re friends.”

Ethan rolled his eyes but backed up a few steps either way, “God forbid someone would think such a horrific thing," He scoffed and raised his hand only to show you his middle finger when he knew the librarian wasn’t looking.

Before either of you could utter out another word, Damiano, one of Ethan’s closest friends, walked up to where you two were standing, effectively ending the conversation between you.

He waved at you and offered you a kind smile, which you immediately returned. Unlike his best friend, Damiano was a delight to be around. He was one of the kindest and nicest people you had ever met. You were quite close thanks to the fact that he’d been dating Rory for a while and you got used to spending long nights with the two of them doing silly things like playing board games or watching films. You were basically their third wheel, but neither of you minded much, if at all. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Damiano smacked Ethan on the shoulder as he started a conversation with him. You took it as your chance to leave and just awkwardly walked away after mumbling something about having to find Rory. They had told you something about eating dinner together, and while you’d initially refused because you were supposed to finish the book and start on your report, you were tempted to accept their offer and forget about the stupid book for a little bit more.

Just as you were about to leave the library, your phone vibrated inside the pocket of your warm cardigan. You took it out and chuckled when you read Rory’s message about their new phone but groaned when you realized they wanted to see you after curfew. You sighed and left the library as you tried to think of a great excuse to tell your roommate Emilia so she’d cover for you while you snuck out.

Ethan had his eyes focused on your figure as you left the library but turned back to look at Damiano when he spoke up, “If you’d only talk to them Ethan, I-” He sighed and interrupted his best friend, already irritated by the conversation he’d had with you.

“No, I will not talk to them, okay? Not like we can even talk because we start arguing like two toddlers,” Ethan mumbled out the last part and took a deep breath in. Truth be told, no part of him wanted to talk to you. You were annoying, rude, and didn’t seem to have more than one brain cell in his eyes, so why lose his time talking to you? Not like there’d be anything to talk about.

“They’re just so exasperating!” He spoke up and Damiano rolled his eyes as he saw his hate rant start approaching. They were both aware that once he started, he wouldn’t be able to stop, “I just- They try so hard and it’s annoying. Like I swear they’re also a huge hypocrite. I know you don’t see it but I do, I’ve never met anyone mo-”

Before he could end his last sentence, he felt a body slam into his and arms snake around his waist. Ethan huffed at the impact but wrapped his arms around her frame once he noticed it was Adeline Rossi, or Addie as everyone liked to call her. 

She pulled back and looked at both Damiano and Ethan excitedly, “You will never believe this but the craziest thing just happened… Hey, where’s Vic?” She trailed off as she started looking around for her friend.

Ethan chuckled lightly when he saw Thomas quietly approach Addie while she was distracted. They all knew she was the easiest person to scare, so it didn’t take more than a slight push and a soft boo for her green eyes to go wide and for her to jump. She was quick to turn to where Thomas was standing and didn’t think twice before smacking his shoulder with the heavy book she was carrying.

Thomas put his hands up in defeat as he took a step back and rubbed his shoulder, “Okay, okay shit. Stop, that actually hurts,” He whined and Addie only shrugged as Damiano and Ethan watched the whole interaction with amusement. 

“Right, so, ignoring all that,” Addie spoke up once again and shifted her attention back to Ethan, “Since she is nowhere to be seen, could you please help me with some stuff? It’s just this little interview for one class of mine and I’ve already interviewed Damià and Thomas but I need just one more.”

He nodded and said a quick goodbye to his two best friends before following the shorter girl out of the library. However, while he was walking, he felt his phone vibrate inside the pocket of his jeans. He fished it out and frowned as he read the text that had just been sent to him but laughed once he noticed it was only his girlfriend Emilia from her new phone. 

Then he sighed and rolled his eyes once he realized she wanted to see him past curfew again and he knew Will would ask him for money in exchange for not ratting him out. He quickly texted her back and slipped his phone back into his pocket as he followed Addie to her dorm.

Next

GOOGLE DRIVE 

[thefairyletters]

✨ Spooky Recs✨

I read a lot of fanfictions... More than I am proud of. I thought I should recommend as I go before I lose sight of their existence among the sea of my favorites.

Since past few days I have been craving for some creepy, unnerving fanfics that will keep me restless and awake at night. I remembered my favorites and wanted to read more of the kind so I looked up, patiently going through each story that sounded compelling. I also revisited old stories for nostalgia's sake.

Of course, rare as they are, in Naruto fandom no less, it's even harder to find a horror and mystery fic that is well written, not dropped under 2 chapters, and really keeps your attention.

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

Genre: Horror, Mystery, Comedy

I've rated 4 aspects of the work -

Writing – I don't judge writing based solely on the grammar and vocabulary. I also consider how the author expands upon a subject, if they are consistent with the facts, if they are able to keep the attention of the readers regardless of their creative writing skills.

Characters – If the characters are well-developed, in their given character, if OCs have any real significance to the story.

Plot – How gripping is the storyline, if the story sticks to its original plot, the structure of the story, plot holes.

Flow – Mother-of-slow-burn, slow-but-steady, steady, fast, I-am-speed

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When the flowers cry : TCOOKIES777 || M || AO3/FFN || SasuSaku || Goth Horror || Post-Canon, set during Blank Period || Ongoing

When one of the greatest medical-nin in the world goes missing in what should have been a simple delivery to the Land of Spring’s Hidden Snow Village, the rest of Team 7 must reunite to find her. But even the most powerful team of shinobi will find themselves challenged in a battle against the supernatural. With Sasuke's return, vengeful ghosts of the past will test him and his love.

My thoughts : One of the best stories I've read in a while, and top tier SS stories. I read this in one sitting. I never listen to music while reading, preferring silence, but for this one, I suggest you do as the author says. Also, keep some tissues and food with you. This story is major in mystery and minor in horror but otherwise full of SS fluff.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Steady, if a bit confusing (but that's why it's mystery)

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Kyuro : silver_shot || T || AO3 || SasuSaku || Mystery || Post-Canon || Complete

“Oh,” says Naruto, “well, its sort of like that. Except in this village, the story has a way more darker ending – it basically goes like this: the girl and the guy plan to run away together. The guy steals a bunch of treasure, and stashes it away. But then, when he goes to get the girl at her village, he kills her and decides to run away with all that money. But then he is killed by the guards of the girls village and now they're both dead and the treasure is hidden away somewhere”. Sasuke stares blankly at the blond, “that story makes no sense”.

My thoughts : I know you must be thinking the same thing as Sasuke – "makes no sense". I did too, but it's a pretty cool short story. It lies on the funny, creepy side that slowly starts to lose its funny touch. SS makes stupid mistakes later on but it could be because they are MCs. The ending is very ambiguous. It's not my favorite mystery but it is something. Enjoyable read but not something I will pick again.

Writing: 8/10

Characters: 8/10

Plot: 8/10

Flow: Fast

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Moon stuttering in the sky : xfrinz || T || AO3 || Gen || Mystery || Pre-Shippuden || One-shot

Kakashi is suspicious of many things about Haruno Sakura. Too many things about her don't make sense, with too many incongruous explanations.

My thoughts : Author of this story just summarised Pre-Shippuden in less than 4k words and made some tiny changes to it. Not much though. One of my favorite gen fics yet. Read it if you haven't yet. You'll feel more sad than thrilled tbh. But worth it.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: I-am-Speed

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Breath mints : silver_shot || T || AO3 || SasuSaku || Comedy-Mystery || Post-Canon || Ongoing (maybe)

Their home no longer exists with the life it once had – in fact no settlement thrives anymore; they exist only in a snapshot that contradicts time itself. Families within their own homes sleep in a slumber that they cannot wake from. Those that were chatting on the street prior to the event simply drop their heads and remain unresponsive.

My thoughts : I picked it up for Mystery but I stayed for Comedy. But of course that's not to say supernatural elements in this story is not it, but it sure pales in comparison to effortless humor in this story. Lee and Kiba pair is something you don't see often but they get along too well here. Charactisation is on point as well. SS angst! + NS angst (but it's downplayed)

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Steady

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The Curse : sincerelyLen || T || FFN || SasuSaku || Horror || Post-Canon || Ongoing

Team 7 is unexpectedly assigned an S-Ranked Mission involving an unsolved mystery of 10 years. An eerie adventure that will test their teamwork, strengths, and greatest fears. Do you believe in Curses?

My thoughts : My all-time favourite horror Naruto fanfiction. To me, this sets the standard of how mystery and horror elements should be handled. I have never been able to get this story out of my mind even it's been years. Perfect charactisation of Team 7 with Smart-yet-Stupid!Sakura, I-can-fight-aliens-and-reanimated-corpses-but-keep-ghosts-away-from-me!Naruto and I-dont-get-paid-enough-for-this!Sasuke. I especially love OCs here. They kinda reminds me of Pillars from KnY. You must read this story, loosely based on Zombie apocalypse + curse concept.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow-but-Steady

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Silent High : Istoria || T || FFN || Gen || Mystery || Post-Canon || Complete

A bit of the Silent Hill series mixed in with Naruto. Trapped in an illusion whose rules are unknown, they struggle to find answers before darkness consumes them.

My thoughts : One of the best mystery fanfictions I've read. I especially loved how this story handled Genjutsu in the best possible way it could without it turning into some cliche, ghost story. Though really, this story has shown what my greatest fear actually is. I will never be able to leave my back open to a wheelchair. This story has simple writing yet it gives you creeps with the twists and turns. A must read one because it is unlike any other in this list.

Writing: 9/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Steady

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Silence of the Damned : Daystar Clarion || T || FFN || Gen || Psychological Horror, Mystery(?) || Pre-Shippuden || One-Shot

When Naruto wakes up to a dead body in his bathroom, he begins a quick spiral into madness.

My thoughts : Listen to Halsey's Control while reading this. Quite chilling, deals with mental issues and morbid but in a fascinating way. It gives a new meaning to Dark!Naruto, but one that actually makes sense. I never saw the ending coming... I had something else in mind and I was convinced it would be, but nope. Here's a sequel to this One-Shot (Uzumaki's War) which I never picked up.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Slow-but-steady

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To the Victor : Letta || T || FFN || NaruSaku || Psychological Horror || Shippuden || One-Shot

Naruto loses the fight and Sakura is a trophy of war.

My thoughts : A very twisted NS, if you squint. It's not horror but it might as well be... it is still a disturbing story to see from the eyes of Sakura. Quite chilling to be in Sakura's shoes. But I love this because it is one shot and I loved the ending.

Writing: 9/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 8/10

Flow: Steady

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Under the Skin : BukkakeNoJutsu || T || FFN || Team 8 || Body Horror || Pre-Shippuden || One-Shot

Your actions don't make you a monster. Your reasons do.

My thoughts : There's a reason why Shino is my favourite team 8 member. In my opinion, Shino is also one of the strongest Shinobi of his generation. His clan techniques are just that horrifying. This story is testament to that. He is so terrible.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow-but-steady

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Instant Message : Keelah || T || FFN || SasuSaku || Murder mystery || Modern AU || Incomplete

She gave him names to kill, in order not to be killed herself. But having blood on her hands was turning out to be much worse than dying. "…There's still round 2…3…4…" When does this game end? She asked. "Don't you see, Sakura?" He said, "It never does."

My thoughts : I read this story a long time ago and have read this twice. Personally, it has the most interesting concept of all stories in the list. It reminds me of Vocaloid series, "Bookmark of the end". Kind of. To those who are thinking of picking this up, go ahead! It's a great book and has one of the best suspense I've read in Fandom. BUT, it has been stopped in mother-of-all-cliffhangers and Author is MIA for 4 years now. But, all things considered, it remains to be one of the best stories I've read.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Steady

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Monomoth : Ohtze || M || FFN/AO3 || SasuSaku || Horror || AU || Incomplete

Everything ends, eventually. Eight years after the war, Sakura's unhinged and Sasuke's obsessed. The fields are filled with corpses.

My thoughts : I read this story right after "The Curse", my favourite. From what I remember, Sakura and Sasuke are both mentally deranged, in different ways. Lots of death and gore to stomach, so not for weak readers. There's no speak of fluff in this one. Zero, Zilch, Nada. I wouldn't call it your classic 'Horror', but it is very disturbing, so psychological horror is more like it. Don't eat food while reading this one. Did I mention how Sakura is mentally disturbed beyond help in this one? And Sasuke is obsessed. If these suit your tastes, go ahead.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow

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I hope you enjoy this list. Let me know your opinion in comments.

[cherripeach]

Chapter 10

Little Match Maker

Summary: Your life motto is “I have the power of god and anime on my side, don’t mess with me,” and you stand by that with your life. No human, magician, or random creature could ever stop your firm belief in it.

However, getting transported to this world that seemed to turn your already bad luck worse was not what you wanted to be in your life story, but you made the most of it. Making friends, enemies, and disasters, you were in your prime in this world, and so you decided to help as many people as you could flourish, at least what you believed to be.

Chapter 1:5 i’m jared 19 and i never learned how to read

Warnings: Curse words, implied sex jokes

Words: 3.4k

Relationships: developing but future twstxreader

You three made it to homeroom right before the final bell rang, meaning none of you were late which was boring in your opinion. Being fashionably late especially on the first day just shows character. 

The classroom was full of caldrons like from Harry Potter but also full of lab coats like a science lab. There were also just shelves with glass covering them full of plants that you have never seen before and ones you hoped to never touch because you are 100.69% sure they can kill you. Then, there were just shelves of bottles of potions like in the movies which you also did not want to touch not for fear of death but because they could turn you into a frog or something which sounded kinda cool now that you thought about it. Still, you were not going to do it.

Your teacher, however: a hottie. He obviously knows about style and fashion if his dual colored hair and his fur coat are anything to go by. He also had a perfectly shaped face with sharp eyes that you just couldn’t look away from. The whip in his hand told you enough about his life outside of school, and the collar at the end of it also told you enough. This man was def not someone to disrespect, and ngl he could yell at you. That’s for another time; you just hoped you could stare at the man for the entire class. 

Once you and your three friends put the lab coats and goggles on and went to your seats (you assumed because Ace and Deuce dragged you there), the gorgeous man started to lecture, “I see you’re the fresh new faces who will be joining my class today.” He walked around the classroom and gazed at everyone’s figure. “Hm~ What an unusual hair color. Not bad at all, I say. Be careful not to take too long to finish, understood?” He made it to your group of seats near the back and stopped, “My name is Divus Crewel.” His gaze was caught on you for a couple of seconds until he returned to walking around the classroom, “You shall refer to me as Master Crewel, if you please.” He had the most miniscule smirk when he turned back to meet your eyes. 

You turned to Ace with your wide eyes and muttered, “Please tell me he gets you hot and bothered too.” 

Ace just glared and spat back at you, “Only you are dealing with those feelings.” 

Master Crewel clapped his hands twice, “Come, settle down. It’s time for class to begin. First off, a few disclaimers.” 

The entire class ceased the side conversations, and you even placed the weight of your chin on your hands with your elbows on the desk so you could balance your newfound crush for him.

The magnificent man just lightly placed the edge of the whip on his desk, “I shall have your tiny brains remember hundreds of names of medicinal herbs and poisonous plants. And mushrooms are a whole different topic. I’ll have you remember them so that you don’t accidentally poison yourself if you eat some when you go for a walk. Dogs love to eat anything they see, after all.I don’t want to see anyone getting a failing mark during the exam, so I shall be as strict as I can.”

You don’t even remember what he was saying, but you just nodded the entire time. This was a class you knew you were going to stay awake in. Your eyes were still stuck on his figure, and you knew just from looking at him that you may not have a failing grade because you bet you were going to ask for help. 

Your three idiots were seemingly having a conversation next to you while your brain was stuck in your fantasies of after school tutoring. 

Your mind was stuck in your fantasy until the end of class when someone had to use his textbook to smack the back of your head, “Ouch!” You spun around only to find Grim and Ace behind you with a textbook in Ace’s hand. 

 Grim snickered out behind you, “You deserved that, Prefect. Even I, the Great Grim, was paying more attention in this boring class.” By the end of the sentence he sighed all of it out. 

“Come on. Let’s not be late.” Deuce grabbed his stuff and motioned to your group to leave. 

You lightly and neatly put up your lab coat and goggles because male Cruella De Vil was still situated at the front of the class, and you had to look good in front of him. 

“Have a great day!” You gushed out while frantically waving at the man to give him a proper farewell. 

Ace slapped your hand down once you exited the room, “Can you please stop? It’s getting real disgusting.” 

You blew a raspberry at him while the four of you were on your way to your next class, “Oh, shut up and let me be a simp.”

“A what? You know what I’m ignoring you.” Ace shook his head and sighed at your comments. 

The conversation stopped after that when you began to make your way up stairs to get to your next class. You had to go up two flights of stairs which ended with you leaning along a wall, red-faces, and out of breath by the middle of it. 

“Hurry up, supervisor,” Deuce advised. 

You hissed, “Shut up.”

The three of you arrived at your next class which Decue said was “something-something history.” And you were actually kind of excited because you have no clue what has happened in this world, and it is gonna be so different with magic and everything.  

You three took seats near the middle of class, so all of you could still concentrate but still talk some. This class room was structured much more like a lecture hall than the past one with a chalk board at the front behind a teacher desk and desks being on different platforms going up, and so your group had to go up a couple of stairs to get to where you claimed were your seats. 

The class all took their seats and shut their mouths once an older man without a uniform came into the classroom carrying a cat. 

The cat had your full attention for this class because you now have the human desire to pet and love the cat as one should. 

Once the professor sat down with the cat on his lap, he introduced himself, “I am Trein, the professor in charge of Magical History. And this is my familiar, Lucius. I shall have you learn the history behind the magic that you are using now.”

Lucis, the cute little black cat who had a hint of white on his front right under his head, confirmed Professor Trein’s previous statements with a “Meow.”

It took a couple of seconds for you to process the Professor’s words, but once you did you turned to Deuce who was located to the left of you and blurted out, “Wait, is Lucius a real cat? What's a familiar? Can I not pet him? OMG, what if he can understand what I’m saying. That cannot be it-”

Professor Trein cut you off midway with another Lecture (Deuce was just gazing at you with disappointment in his eyes), “I do not only grade by your reports, but also by how you behave in my classroom. I will not tolerate sleeping in class. Now then, please turn to page 5 of your textbooks. This is related to the magic stone that was discovered inside the Dwarf Mines.”

You were taken aback by everything, but you also realized that you did not have a text book. You didn’t even have a book bag or pens, so you turned to Deuce to only flutter your lashes and pout at him until he shared his textbook with you and gave you lose leaf and a pen. 

Lucis decided to bring his voice into the conversation, “Meow.”

“The discovery of this jewel led to magical energy being able to spread worldwide. It could also be considered as the 1st year magic was made possible.” Professor Trein continued his lecture, and you were actually actively taking notes because this was like some wack anime and you had to know the full plot line.

“Meow.”

Ace yawned into his hand when you gazed at him. 

And Deuce was taking notes but his eyes were also beginning to close, “Oh…! The Dwarf Mines, huh… Oh…! Magical energy, huh…” You had to kick him to keep him awake.

Grim rested his head on the desk, “Ugh… I want a more explosive and flashier magic class!”

You could only sigh at the three idiots not paying attention while your pen kept on writing. 

By the end of the class and the lecture was over, all three of the spots next to you were occupied with asleep idiots. You put your stuff into your pockets and got up to nug Grim on his shoulder for him to wake up. His head slowly lifted up with his eyes still closed, so you decided to just carry him to the next class. He was in your arms by the time you got everything together and moved onto the other two idiots asleep. 

You kicked Deuce in the calf who jumped up immediately and rushed to get everything together, and then moved onto Ace to pull his hair. Ace stayed still until you found a certain spot of hair closest to his neck and pinched it and tugged on it. That had him reaching for your hand to stop your actions and had him awake and ready to move. 

“Get up, class already ended.” You let go of his hair to move to the walkway of the classroom. 

Ace shook his head to wake himself further up, “Okay.. but why did you have to pinch me so hard?”

“Were you gonna wake up by yourself?”

“No.”

“I think you see my thought process, then.” You shrugged your shoulders while the two remaining boys got their things together. After that all three of you were off to your next class, causing you to walk down stairs and through hallways until the three of you made it to a field outside.

The boys made you drop off your stuff, which wasn’t much anyway, and Grim in order to go and change into a P.E. uniform. Apparently, in the locker room, there were some extra uniforms for you to change into. 

The locker room stunk of mold and fungus from somewhere in the corners of the room, but Deuce led you to a bin of uniforms. He just pulled the first one from the pile and gave it to you. It was a bright green shirt with a dragon or lizard on it. Then, he gave you a black jacket with yellow stripes on the sleeves and a pair of pants with a faded royal purple stripes on parts of the pants. Seems were also ripped out of certain parts of the uniform with most of the colors being lightly faded. Looking at the uniform as a whole, it was definitely going to be too large on you. 

You thanked Deuce while he was walking away to the right side of the locker room, and then, you got moving. You observed the locker room to see if there were any bathrooms and to your luck, toward the back there was another door which led into the bathroom. You entered the next room to find no line and no one in the last stall. On your way to the stall, you passed up a bulky male with silver-white animal ears on his head in a yellow uniform who was washing his hands. You set foot in the final stall to only find the toilet flooded and writings all over the wall, causing you to let out a sigh and shut and lock the door just happy you did not have to use the restroom. 

Once dressed, you took your cloak and other clothes and walked out of the stall to wash your hands. Looking in the mirror was not on your to-do list, so you kept your eyes stuck on the faucet and your hands because the headache from the rat’s nest on your head and the slight pain from parts of your face gave you all the information you needed. You left the restrooms and found a deserted area where many lockers were empty. You threw your clothes in one of the middle lockers, closed it, and took account of the number of the locker. 

You left the locker room to see that you were one of the final people to get dressed and get out of the locker room. Grim, Ace, and Deuce were seated on the ground near the back of the group, and you made your way to them with many different eyes on you. 

The hulking man blew his whistle to get everyone in the class and started a speech, “I’m Vargas and I’m in charge of watching over your physical education.Excellent magic starts with excellent bodies! Behold…! These muscles that I train every day! A magician with no stamina is unspeakable! First, do 20 laps around the field! And then, 100 sit-ups!” He blew the whistle again and threw his pointer finger out the motion for you all to start your laps.

The three of you jumped up from your spot on the ground and slowly walked over to the track. 

Ace grimaced at the teacher, “Eh… I don’t hate exercise, but I can’t handle teachers like him.”

“I have confidence in my physical abilities,” Deuce had his hands on his hips and was twisting his torso around to stretch it. 

Grim shook his head, “What's so fun about running around? I’m not a hamster, yanno?”

You just sighed and joined the group of students starting to run. Ace, Deuce, Grim, and you slowly joined the middle of the group in a jog around the field. 

You were left pondering for a second about everything and anything and your mind went straight to how you could get out of the stuffy cloak because even if you did look like an adventurer you could not stand to wear it in the heat all the time. So you started up a conversation:

“Yo, Deuce,” You bumped arms with him, making Deuce’s eyes slowly drifted to your figure, “Do you know where I could get a school uniform? Is there like a store or something nearby?” 

Deuce contemplated your question for a couple of seconds until he snapped his fingers, “There is a shop on campus that has everything. We could stop there after school today.” 

“Well, that’s one thing covered,” Your feet were still in a constant jog, but they started to cramp in some areas, “I hope they have a clearance section.” 

The rest of PE was much more strenuous than you expected. This teacher thought that all of you were Olympic Athletes with all the work he is making you do, but looking at some of the students here (the green shirt-green haired fellow who is racing down the track whenever possible and the furry male who you saw in the bathroom earlier). Everyone was doing better than you. Even Grim. 

However, the exercises were soon over and you were all allowed to go back to the locker rooms and change. You were for now stuck lying on the ground wheezing from the physical activities you just completed in the past hour. Ace and Deuce went back to get changed and Grim is asleep on the grass behind you. 

“You okay?” A male’s voice could be heard from somewhere above you, but you were too drained to even move your eyes to see who it was. 

You groaned, “Don’t mind me. I’m just slowly decaying.” 

The male was speechless for a second and did not respond until your eyes fluttered open the slightest bit, “Do you want water? Or the nurse?” 

“No, oh gracious savior, but I’d rather you leave me here to be eaten by the birds.” You shut your eyes, listening to Grim groan besides you.

“Um...okay. Please get better,” The male’s footsteps could be heard walking away. 

You stayed there for about another hour in your head just trying to breathe in and out and maybe even fall asleep until a kick was landed on your side. 

“Get up, you lazy ass.” Ace was blessing you with his presence and his torment.

You hurled your body forward and up to grip Ace’s foot which was making its way to your side again, “Don’t you have a sense of common courtesy to not kick someone when they are dying?” 

“You aren’t dying, but you are wasting our break time.” Ace groaned and pulled his foot out of your grip, “So go get dressed.”

Rolling your eyes, you gathered yourself and stood up to make your way back to the changing rooms. You left Grim to be with Ace, so you hoped those two would not cause problems. The rest was a lack of oxygen and lack of water blur until you found your three idiots out in the hallway and began your track to your next class. You decided to take your time a little because you had a ten minute break before the next class. 

Deuce was looking around the hallways for the next class, “Let’s see, the next class is..”

Ace was pouting next to you, “For a magic school, it doesn’t really feel that much different from a normal school, huh… It’s a lot more… ordinary than I thought… Guess I don’t have to worry much even without magic.” His body shifted to turn to your side, “Dontcha think so, too, Grim? Hm…” 

You gazed at where Grim last was which was to the left of you and let your eyes focus and blink for a couple of seconds, “Are you fucking kiddin me?”

A gasp was heard from Deuce in front of you, “Look outside the window! That fluffball running in the Courtyard…” He pointed out Grim’s exact spot in the middle of the large area. 

Once you began your sprint to him, you could hear him cackling about how he did not deserve to listen to boring lectures all day. 

You stopped your run when you realized that you would never be able to make it farther due to PE kicking your butt, “If I have to go to school, then, so does he.”

Deuce and Ace were arriving right behind you.

Deuce crossed his arms, “Running away on the first day…” He shook his head, “That guy just doesn’t learn, huh.” 

“Being negligent on the first day, are we? So, d’ya want us to help you catch Grim?” A smirk bloomed on Ace’s face. 

You scrunched your nose, “If I have to be here, then so does he.”  threaded your hands together and squeezed your eyes shut and bowed, “Please, please help me.”

“I want some chocolate croissants from the canteen!” 

Deuce blurted in agreement, “Then, I shall have some café latte from the cafeteria.”

You rose from your bow, “Perfect, perfect. Thank yooou!!” not even thinking about how you were going to afford that. 

Ace and Deuce pulled their magic pens out of their pockets and joined each other in front of you to start their hunt for Grim. 

Ace smirked at Deuce, “And that’s a deal! Alright, shall we go help out our helpless prefect, Deuce-kun?”

Deuce narrowed his eyes and rolled back his sleeves of his jacket, “Sure thing, Ace-kun. I’m most looking forward to lunchtime.”

“I’ll be in the classroom once you catch him.” You waved the two off while they began their hunt for the cat. 

By the time you made it to your next class, the three showed up with sweat dripping from their faces, their clothes in disarray, and the teacher right behind them. 

This would surely be a great year.

[bloodyshadow1]

just finished Alanna’s route and I gotta say, I’d give it a C, it wasn’t bad, but I didn’t see a lot of good either.  There was so much crammed in as much as possible between the Society (that we barely get to see anything of), Time travel (which is fine but done pretty poorly with little buildup or fanfare or explanation), Immortals (like time travel, a decent story enough on it’s own, but only mentioned in the final 3rd of the story and barely talked about afterward), and Magic power stones (pretty vague power system that no one seems interested in telling the MC about) it feels like they accidently threw 4 darts at the idea board this time and never bothered to throw again.  It’s such a mess that the MC has to take on faith without ever being given a real reason to side with the Circle over anyone else other than her ex girlfriend is part of it and they hate her dad.  It’s so quick and it doesn’t ever feel like the right decision at least to me since you spend so little time with the Circle even as background characters to Alanna’s story.

Alanna as a character is kind of meh for me overall.  Physically her design is fine, seems cute more than hot or sexy, but sort of bland and generic.  there are other cute love interests that never felt this generic, she feels like she should be the sister or best friend character instead of the love interest of the MC.  It doesn’t help that by making her the MC’s ex returned, we know little to nothing about her, so much of a romance arc is missing because even if the MC knows, we the player don’t know what’s so great about Alanna.  All of Alanna’s character feels told instead of shown, the MC seems to worship the ground she walks on, but the actual story leaves much to be desired because we don’t really see her do anything super charming or amazingly skilled.  She’s pretty, but she’s not even the most beautiful woman in her route much less London or the world. I could understand why the MC would love her since she’s still hung up on her, so I could believe it if I took the story with a grain of salt, but the fact that her personality seems to be she’s so charming and everyone loves her without every truly delivering on such claims makes her whole route fall even flatter than it’s plot led to. The fact that the MC slept with her right away as a ‘palette cleanser’ was sort of interesting, but it still felt like being told about her, nothing about what she and the MC had gone through felt like she was so irresistible that the MC would need to get her out of her system, because we don’t know anything really about her relationship with Alanna.  And that’s a big problem to her selling points as a love interest

  We don’t know all the stories the MC has with Alanna, especially if they only dated for 2 months, the audience/player/readers, need to understand why the MC is in love with their love interest besides the route being named after them, by making their entire relationship when they first fell in love we miss all of that and are left with empty feelings and gestures between the two of them. The little back and forths between them about their past are okay to start with, but nothing about Alanna as a character from her 12 chapters makes me believe that she’s so lovely the MC can overlook her massive flaws and go along with her very unpersuasive desire to have the MC join them to help the world.  Her depression and feelings of helplessness after 200 years was interesting, but it felt like it came too late.  I’m actually really glad the MC called her out on her bullshit, by the end of her first chapter, I get a bit of where she’s coming from, but what Alanna did to the MC was fucked up and she doesn’t get to just pretend it never happened.

Plot wise, the story is a mess, like Alanna, so much of the story is told to the MC and she’s supposed to take it on faith that the Circle is somehow more morally right than the rest of the Society.  It fails because the Circle has barely any real character, they have interesting traits that if they were around more to make me care about them as something other than the vehicle to do the time travel and nothing more.  In so many routes, you’re introduced to all your love interests at the same time and they’re already a group, while you spend the most time with your love interest, you get to know most of the characters as people outside of their routes, but the rest of the Circle is pretty bland.  Not to mention that the Society is built up as this big maybe evil maybe just powerful and in the wrong hands thing..., but you barely interact with them at all.  The only people tell  the MC and her brother that the Society is bad is the Circle who are actively members of it and nothing about what they say or do makes me feel like they’re any more trust worthy than the rest of the society except most of them are going to be future love interests.  In Alanna’s route, the only member of the Society not in the Circle that has a unique character portrait is Arabella and she’s kind of a more interesting character with a more sympathetic story than the Circle. We hear about how corrupt and morally bankrupt the higher ups in the Society are, and we know the MC hates her dad, who seems to be considered the worst, but aside from being a bit stuff and arrogant, (much like the wealthy elite of our world) we don’t see much evil, and it confuses me if the Circle wants to bring down the Society or try and take control of it for the greater good without much of a reason to trust them.

The Immortal plot point fell flat to me, like the story basically skipped over the time travel plot device by making it literally a this happens and barely talk about it, but adding the Immortality plot felt unneeded in a narrative that needed a lot more structure, not irons in the fire.  I feel like if Alanna/your love interest was the only one of the Circle that was immortal other than the Elites of the Society it would have made a better route to go.  Having an immortal character in your romantic story is fertile ground, they could be a tragic figure, a figure who is hedonistic and loving their immortality, etc, there are plenty of ways to go, an immortal character with a bunch of their pals who are already incredibly powerful and have a vague sense of goodness about them, makes it feel far from a curse or whatever they’re trying to portray it here.  It could have also been introduced better to the MC by say meeting Arabella in the present day and being shocked by seeing her and needing confirmation from the Circle or Alanna, instead of Alanna dropping it in a mood to the MC.  

Overall, it felt to complicated of a story to tell with all the moving pieces that didn’t deliver on any of them sadly.  the whole story felt like it was a mix between Queen of Thieves and Astoria Fates Kiss, without the charms of either the story or the characters, replacing Greek Mythology with time travel.  I will also say, it the plot made me kind of uncomfortable with how a bunch of mostly white young adults have decided to be judge and jury throughout time with the first antagonist being a powerful black lesbian in london 200 years ago, and we only have their word that something is afoot.  I know that she actually was doing bad stuff, but the Circle is just a vigilante group with no actual authority and using time travel as their own means of policing people and if it wasn’t a simplistic romance story disguised as a scifi fantasy story, I feel like more nuance would have saved it.

The good parts: Alanna’s route for Immortal Hearts Society wasn’t all bad, I  I will admit I am probably overly harsh since I just finished it.  I actually really enjoyed the both the Female and Male MC character designs, they both were surprisingly interesting compared to a lot of MC’s.  I really did enjoy the MC for the most part and I liked her relationship with her brother, most of the time I’ve seen sibling relationships in Lovestruck they’re fine but don’t tend to have much actual conflict, just superficial.  But I like that the MC loves her brother, but burned her bridges with him to keep him safe, she regrets what she had to do but not what happened which is a pretty interesting take.  Alanna was enjoyable as a love interest in the beginning, but as the story got more and more convoluted, it felt like she didn’t have much actual character.  I do have a soft spot for the Circle characters, except for the two current love interests, I’m more annoyed that we didn’t get to see and interact with them more, especially since it looks like they’ll be future love interests if the pattern holds.  It was a fine story and I know I’m being overly harsh, but it just felt underdone instead of bad, which tends to make it worse in my mind because the lost potential is frustrating. 

 I wouldn’t mind continuing if the writing got tighter next season, I’ll still give it a try.  I would very much like an Arabella route before anyone else, she has such a gorgeous design and despite not seeing a huge amount of her character being a warm genuinely kind person stuck between a rock and a hard place for her family was an interesting take instead of making her one of the many false sweethearts in Queen of Thieves that stab you in the back.  I also think that if she still is around in modern day she would have fit the story as a love interest better than Alanna. 

Not sure if anyone is going to bother to read this but it feels good to get it out.  Maybe you think I’m full of shit and I’m fine with that, maybe you love Alanna and she’s your favorite love interest.  I’m sorry you read this because I don’t want anyone to feel bad, this is simply how I feel after reading the first chapter

[immortalcoelacanth]

PTA: Science Team (HLVRAI Fic 1/3)

*pulls dusty story out of garage and drops it into Tumblr*

I have been trying to finish the first chapter for AGES, and I finally got it done! I crave PTA AU content due to the wholesomeness and angst, and I just had to work on one short fic for this fandom. So, welcome to the first chapter out of three!

Word count: 1788

Summary: PTA meetings are a sham and no one hates them more than Gordon, but upon being forced to miss a “mandatory” meeting because of work, Benrey comes up with a brilliant idea to deal with this problem.

Chapter 1: Hostile Arrangements Require Equally Hostile Solutions

“Fuck! Shit! Okay-okay, I’ll just-motherfucker she did what?!”

Cursing was in Gordon’s nature. He often used it as a way to express his angry, dismay, shock, and all sorts of other negative emotions. As such it was not unusual to see pacing about and spitting insults left and right. 

What was unusual, however, was the fact that he was cursing in his own home. He had a strict swearing free zone in effect as a way to stop Joshua from picking up on any foul language, including a swear jar that tended to fill up whenever Bubby visited. It was quite fortunate that Joshua was currently being distracted by Benrey as the pair had been playing video games together for the past hour or so. 

Or they had been until, in a surprising display of stealth, Benrey crept out of the young boy’s room and slowly approached the frustrated Gordon. 

Gordon, who was currently continuing to quietly yell into his cell phone. 

“Are you kidding me?! I was scheduled for a meeting on the weekend! I have work tonight! How in the FUCK did she-”

“psssst, hey, hey feetman. you might wanna chill out there and, uh, stuff. turn down the volume.” Benrey cut in while pointing the tv remote at Gordon and clicking the volume button. “don’t wanna be a bad boy and teach joshie any naughty words.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” Gordon sighed, no real anger in his voice before redirecting his attention back to the phone call. “No, not you Natasha, it was just Benrey-”

“tell tasha her cookies are baller.”

“Wha-baller? Who the fuck says baller anymore?!” 

“c’moooooooon man, be a bro.”

“Natasha I am so sorry-tell her that yourself!”

“i can’t feeman, you know i don’t have a phone.”

“YOU WERE THE ONE WHO STUCK IT IN THE MICROWAVE!”

“i-i was just chagrin’ the battery with those radio waves, man. ads… they never lie.”

Laughter could be heard coming from the phone in response to the conversation going on between the two men. It was enough to snap Gordon out of his somewhat enraged state and refocus on whatever it was that Natasha was telling him. He gestured for Benrey to leave and only succeeded in shooing the ex-guard to the kitchen so he could have some peace. 

Not that the peace lasted long based on the muttered cursing and general sounds of Gordon stomping around. 

About ten minutes later, the frustrated physicist joined him in the kitchen, quickly making himself a cup of coffee and grumbling under his breath. Welp, looked like this was the perfect moment for some interrogation. 

“soooooo, wha was that about?” Benrey asked as he took another bite of the block of cheese he had been digging into. If you asked him, he’d say it tasted pretty gouda.

Damn, he needed to torment Gordon with more puns again. 

“Fucking-” Gordon exhaled sharply and ran a hand through his messy hair, too angry to noticed how Benrey reached out and gently pulled at some of the locks, watching them bounce and resume their previously curly shape. “Linda.”

Well, there went his good mood. 

Benrey’s eyes immediately narrowed, becoming nothing more than glowing slits in his shadowy face, as a disgruntled frown replaced his previous smile. Even the cheese in his hand seemed to start burning, smoke wafting off it as it began to melt in response to the sheer anger that name invoked in him. 

Linda Smith, the scourge of the neighborhood and one of the most uptight, pieces of shit that Benrey had ever encountered. A narcissist with a massive superiority complex, she constantly put down everyone around her who she thought of as being inferior.

Which was just a cover for how much of a racist shitwad she was, plus there were the various comments she made about fags invading the neighborhood.

An obvious insult aimed at not just Gordon and Benrey, but the other “not normal” couples that lived here and there. Poor Joshua had overheard some of the insults on multiple occasions, and she had called the kid a mutt to his face-

“Benrey? You wanna calm down before you poke holes in the ceiling again?”

Fortunately, Gordon’s exasperated voice snapped Benrey out of his enraged state before he accidentally inflicted more damage to the kitchen. A place that had seen many, many small explosions and fires. At this point, he towered over the other man as sharpened, boney spikes poked out of his back and scrapped the ceiling. Plaster fell and dusted the countertop. 

“oops, s-sorry dude.” Benrey awkwardly shrugged, flesh dripping from his arms and face in a rather gruesome display, not that Gordon was bothered by this. He was used to how… horrific his partner could become. 

Especially when someone mentioned Joshua being hurt or insulted in any way. It was actually quite wholesome thinking about how much Benrey cared about the young boy and how much their friendship had bloomed since they first met. 

“I get it.” Gordon sighed. “She’s such a bitch she’d make anyone Hulk out.”

“ten points for the ref there, feetman.”

The physicist somewhat seriously flipped Benrey off, making him laugh, before continuing to rant about the purpose of the now finished phone call. 

“I still can’t believe that stupid school listened to her, and I’m not the only one getting fucked over here!” He spat. “I can’t just drop out-”

It was at this moment that the source of Gordon’s rage dawned on Benrey, and the ex-guard spoke up. “wait, the school thingy?”

“You mean meeting?”

“ya.”

Gordon groaned and hid his face in his hands. “The MEETING! Linda fucked up my schedule! I don’t know what she said to the administrator, but they canceled the weekend meeting I was booked for and rescheduled me for tonight. When I have WORK!”

Benrey winced in sympathy and reached out to pat Gordon’s shoulder with his not cheese coated hand. “damn, th-that’s a real cringe move. can’t you get, uh, joshie’s mom to take care of it? s...shea?”

“I can’t,” Gordon muttered, face muffled by his hands. “Shea’s been on a business trip for some conference and she gets back in five days.”

“oooooh, that’s why you’ve had little josh bro for so long?”

Rather than respond, the physicist just continued to groan and hide his face in his hands as he tried to figure out how to fix the mess he had been caught up in. 

Joshua’s school had a very… specific structure to how it was run. Standard funding and where it would be directed was determined by the staff, however, sometimes the school would receive donations or raise large amounts of money through fairs and other events. 

And it was how this extra funding would be spent that the local community had the chance to weigh in on. Determining if it should be used to get more sports supplies, help fund after school programs, or be used to help make the school more accessible. 

The ramp that had been added two years ago was one such example of the potential good that these extra funds had, however there was one problem with this process. 

All parents were required to attend a meeting and voice their thoughts. This was a rather new development that had been added after a small group of disgruntled parents, ones who had objected to using the extra funds to improve the school and arguing that it should go towards planning fun trips instead, had tried to sue the school board. 

Of course, the case had immediately been thrown out and dismissed, but it had set a dangerous precedent. A precedent that now made it mandatory for all parents to attend one meeting to determine their opinions on where the funding should be used and write it down so they could not claim their voices had not been heard. 

Honestly, it was such a stupid arrangement in Gordon’s opinion. Why not just send out an email? Or forms that kids could take home to their parents. It was so… disruptive and annoying, especially for single parents who had to work long hours. 

Like him. 

His hands tensed, nails nearly dug into his skin before Benrey carefully moved them, holding them. As Gordon looked up, the ex-guard sent him an awkward yet warm smile. An attempt at reassuring him that things would turn out alright. 

“hey... you-you gotta chillax feetman, things’ll be okay-”

“How the hell am I supposed to chillax in this situation?!” Gordon barked as he removed his hands from Benrey’s, shoved himself out of his seat, and began pacing around, furiously staring at the floor. 

“I’ve been fucked over by some racist bitch! Joshua needs someone there and it has to be someone who has some kind of guardianship over him for that stupid funding bullshit!”

As his partner raged on about the unfairness and overall stupidity of the situation, Benrey decided that it was time to think. To think, and plot, and come up with something that would hopefully calm Gordon down while solving the problem that Linda had caused. 

Simply put, Joshua needed someone who had designated guardianship over him to be present during the meeting to act in his best interests. Not surprisingly, Benrey did not have this title due as both he and Gordon had agreed that it would not be the best idea due to both his inhumane nature and the potential destruction he might cause. 

But, that did not mean that only Shea and Gordon were listed as the young boy’s guardians. There was one other who had been granted the title in case of an emergency, although his presence had never been needed up until this point, which was probably why Gordon had forgotten about him in his stressed out state. 

Dr. Coomer, one of Joshua’s “grandpas”. 

And, of course, if one member of the Science Team went somewhere, then the rest had to follow. The Science Team stuck together through thick and thin, no matter the strife or struggle and always left chaos in their wake. 

Hostile arrangements required equally hostile solutions, after all. 

“this is gonna be baller.” Benrey chuckled, his eyes flashing brightly at the brilliance of his plan. Now all he had to do was get Gordon to agree to it.

“pssst, yo, xen to gaydon.”

There was something about the tone that Benrey’s voice took on that snapped Gordon out of his ranting. How calm and collected he sounded, the coherency and confidence in his words. Somewhat concerned, the physicist turned around and saw the scheming look in the ex-guard’s glowing eyes as his fingers drummed on the table. 

“feetman, i got a plan.”

                                             xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I would like to make it clear that no offense is intended towards anyone named Linda, aside from the one racist Linda I know that she was named after who will never, ever read this so my sins will forever remain unknown :>

[rpgmgames]

June’s Featured Game: Midnight Train

DEVELOPER(S): Lydia ENGINE: RPG Maker VX Ace GENRE: Mystery, Adventure WARNINGS: The game contains small jumpscares, blood, suicide, violence, murder, death, possible animal death and mutilation. SUMMARY: Luna is a traveler that is looking for a certain place. Suddenly, while she’s travelling in a train, the people around her disappear and the train stops in a mysterious place. She finds there a pocket watch with some instructions; she needs to find the next train before time runs out or she will be trapped in that world forever.

Play chapters 1 & 2 here!

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Hi! I’m Lydia, nice to meet you all! I’m the main developer, artist, writer and programmer of Midnight Train. I’m also the developer of Aria’s Story. I’ve been creating games since 2015 and it has been a wonderful experience so far! Some random facts about me: I love videogames (Pokémon, Animal Crossing and Splatoon are my favorites!), I’m from Spain, my favorite color is orange and I love sweets!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *Lydia: The game follows the adventure of Luna Wyndell, a mute girl, and Neil Lawton, a detective apprentice. Luna and Neil were travelling in a train called Midnight Express, but a curse activated and they ended up in a weird building. They receive a pocket watch with a note, saying that they have three hours to find the next train. They will try to escape from that place before time runs out while they try to discover the truth about the Midnight Express! Luna is a very brave girl who isn't afraid to fight enemies and use violence when it's needed. Neil panics easily and is very naive, but his deductions will be very useful throughout the game. They will help and protect each other during their adventure. My inspiration was my desire to make a better and more original game! I feel like I learned a lot during the development of my first game and I thought it would be a shame not to use that knowledge to make a game I liked more!

How long have you worked on this project? *Lydia: It’s been a year since I started it!

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Lydia: Steampunk aesthetic is one of my mains inspirations! Dai Gyakuten Saiban is a game that inspired me in terms of aesthetic and designs. Also, games like Danganronpa and Ace Attorney inspired me a lot, since there are deductions scenes in Midnight Train. My other inspirations are other RPG Maker games. I’m not inspired in a particular game, but they’re all inspirations in one way or another. This time I’m trying to mix elements from classic horror RPGs with other elements to make something more different and unique!

Two years ago, we interviewed you for your game Aria's Story! How much has changed since your first GOTM feature? *Lydia: Whoa! It’s been two years! I’m really happy I got the chance to be interviewed again, thank you for the opportunity! Well, one of the main things is that Aria’s Story was released last year! All the criticism I received allowed me to improve as a developer. I definitely learned a lot. I’m also really glad people enjoyed Aria’s Story. Thanks to that, I decided to make a new game! Also, since then, I graduated from university! Now I have a degree in business administration.

How different is your development process on this project compared to your previous project? *Lydia: It’s definitely very different. My main goal is to make something different compared to Aria’s Story, so I’m doing things quite different. Midnight Train is an episodic game, unlike Aria’s Story, so the structure is very different. I need to design carefully each chapter, because I won’t be able to change plot points introduced in early chapters once they’re released. Everything needs to be perfectly planned. Before starting working on the game, I planned everything relevant and important that would happen in the game, in order. Once I start working on each chapter, I plan each chapter with even more detail, following the guide. This makes it easier to balance cutscenes and gameplay, and the overall flow of the game. Aria’s Story didn’t follow this method and it wasn’t as detailed. Instead of a big goal (the release of the whole game), I’ve set myself smaller goals (the release of each chapter). It definitely makes the development more fun this way! I’m allowed to share more things about the game and it’s more enjoyable for everyone. Another important difference is that with Aria’s Story I was very inspired by games like Ib and The Witch’s House, and wanted to create something similar. I’m taking a different approach with Midnight Train, and making something more unique. I’m trying to introduce things that aren’t very common in these kind of games, and that allows me to be more creative with the development and the mechanics of the game!

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Lydia: I think the biggest challenge was the beginning, before I created this blog! I knew I wanted to make a story about a cursed train, but I didn’t have good ideas for it. At the end, I managed to create a story I really like and enjoy! Another challenge was Luna’s character! I wanted this project to be a long game, with a big story and many cutscenes. But I also wanted the game to have a silent main character, to make things different compared to Aria’s Story. I was afraid I couldn’t develop well the main character and that she would be forgettable in comparison to the other characters. The solution? Giving her a reason to be a silent main character and giving her a personality through her actions, not her words! At the end it worked really well, as I think she's the most popular character right now!

Did any aspects of your project change over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Lydia: Not much has changed, since everything has been written and planned from the beginning! I remember that in an initial concept, Luna and Neil were rivals and didn’t get along with each other. But in the final version of the story, it ended being just the opposite!

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Lydia: It was just me and MerúM, he’s my boyfriend and also the spriter of the game! He also made the character sprites of Aria’s Story. Later, Bruno Buglisi joined as a composer!

What is the best part of developing this game? *Lydia: There are many things I love about developing this game! I really like working on the minigames! They’re simple and easy, but they are fun to develop! I hate designing puzzles, so now I add more minigames instead. The game still has puzzles, just not as many as my previous game. I also love writing the deductions scenes of each chapter, it’s such a fun part of the game! Making maps is another thing I enjoy, since I like the steampunk aesthetic of the game. Another thing I really love is interacting with the community, I really enjoy reading their thoughts about the game! It makes me so happy that people are enjoying something I created!

What's your personal favorite thing about the game? (The story, a specific scene, etc.) *Lydia: Luna!!! She’s such a fun character to write and I always find new ways to surprise players thanks to her actions!

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Lydia: Definitely Neil! I used to have low self-esteem like him in the past, and I’d probably very scared in such situation. But just like I did, I'm sure he will be able to become someone more confident in himself!

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Lydia: Right now, I don’t have plans to continue exploring the game’s universe after the release of all the chapters.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Lydia: There isn’t anything I regret with Midnight Train right now, but I wish I had the courage to create a Patreon/Ko-fi sooner! It definitely helped me a lot with the development. It allowed me to invest more time working on it and develop it faster!

What about when looking at Aria's Story, is there anything that in hindsight you would like to change? *Lydia: I guess I’d have liked to develop more the characters! But since it was a shorter game with many puzzles, it was more difficult to do that. Everything was resolved at the final moment, but I’d have liked to add more foreshadowing to the final twist, I feel it was kind of sudden. But I’m really proud of it, considering it was my first game!

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Lydia: I was really afraid people wouldn’t enjoy the game because it doesn’t have horror in the gameplay (it has a pretty dark story, but the gameplay isn’t scary) and because I introduced different elements compared to my previous game (deductions, minigames, less puzzles and more cutscenes). I didn’t know if people would like it. But Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 were a success so far and people seem to enjoy the game! Now my main concern would be to disappoint people with the other chapters!

With your current project, what do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Lydia: I want to rest and have time to play other games!

Do you have any plans or ideas for a project that you'd like to work on after finishing your current project? *Lydia: I’m also working on a new Aria’s Story update, which includes new content and new endings. Since I’ve been busy with Midnight Train, I didn’t have much time to work on it! I’ll focus on that once Midnight Train is finished!

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Lydia: You should have fun developing your game and don’t overwork yourself! You can take breaks and work on it again once you’re motivated, that’s okay! Keep a positive attitude and enjoy the experience! You can do it!!!

Question from last month's featured dev @project-cadeau: How do you tend to handle mean comments or harsh criticism on your games? *Lydia: I answer them as if they were normal comments! I’m always polite to everyone, even if they’re mean. If you answer them in a rude way, I think they will send you even more mean comments. I answer them nicely and forget about it, I honestly don’t think much about it. About criticism, it really depends. If they only say bad things in the critique without telling you how they could be improved (Example: “I really hate your game!”), then it isn’t a good critique and I personally think it’s better to ignore it. Criticism is a good thing because it helps you to notice your flaws as a developer and improve them, but harsh comments and opinions aren’t going to help you in any way. Just ignore it, that person only wants to hurt you, not help you. I personally got more mean comments before the release than after the release (I'm talking about Aria's Story now). I kept doing my best, hoping that maybe they would change their opinion after playing it! I think people can't judge a game without playing it.

We mods would like to thank Lydia for agreeing to our interview for the second time! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Midnight Train if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[morievna]

Ni-Ti loop curse - Ugetsu’s arc and predictions

I noticed that most of fandom thinks that after chapters 27-28 Ugetsu’s story is finished. It surprised me a little since I have different opinion that in fact he will definitely play role in upcoming final arc and that him getting happy ending is still possible.

Whole Given basically

Spoilers for manga below.

1. Ugetsu compared to rest of characters

Since Ugetsu was introduced I was clearly intrigued by him, but no means I expected him grow to be my favorite character. I was rather surprised that instead of presenting him in a bad-ex trope way he got full-fleshed and nuanced. I like how he is one of mysteries of the story – at first we know that he is responsible for Akihiko views of love as painful thing and we got tidbits of theirs domestic life where they seems to be intimate but we get vibe that there is something wrong. Then we got chapter 17 and we know what went wrong and it is heartbreaking. I think it interesting choice that we simultaneously got both Akihiko and Ugetsu perspective on it and we get why it went that way. Natsuki-sensei not only spent lot of time fleshing out story from his perspective to sympathize with him and clearly puts a lot of effort in showing all emotions on his face. Compared to other supporting characters he got the most of time in manga and we get him to know relatively very well – from little information about childhood, his motivation and so on. Besides, what also distinguish him from them the most is the way he impact main storyline – he is important both to Akihiko’s as well as Mafuyu’s story, while rest orbits primarily around one character.

But what I found truly fascinating is how he is foil and contrast with rest of characters, because he is such extremum when it comes to music and relationships.

Uenoyama – he is called prodigy too; before meeting Mafuyu his life was centered only on music but it didn’t go well for him

Haruki -  totally opposite in almost everything from acting towards others, living space, views on music to relationship with Akihiko

Mafuyu – another prodigy who express feelings via music, but who wants to cultivate bonds with others

Yuki – both are dedicated to music at cost of their wellbeing and relationship

Akihiko – since he and Ugetsu are paralleled a lot with Yuuki-Mafuyu I will use Hiiragi’s quote “together, they filled in each other’s missing pieces” – in terms of character qualities and simple things as providing home and support, whose they respectively needed.

By all this I wanted to show you how his story entwines with rest of characters, so cutting him from main plot would be for me at least weird.

2. Ni-Ti loop and CAC song

To be honest I was worried that we may get negative character arc to contrast him with Mafuyu. But after rereading whole story I have more hope about this. So let’s start what is core of positive/negative character arc

“The Central Problem: This is the damaging belief your character must face to complete their arc. They may believe they’re weak or inferior to others, or they may refuse to trust anyone but themselves. This inner struggle will be confronted at the Climax and their ability to overcome it will determine if they succeed or fail in the conflict of your story.”

https://thenovelsmithy.com/positive-negative-character-arcs/

Applying it to Ugetsu he believes that being isolated from others is only way to be dedicated to music, thus pushing away others and acting inconsiderate to them.

It reminds me also of Ni-Ti loop:

“Instead of a healthy balance of introverted and extroverted functions, the INFJ becomes stuck in their introverted processes, keeping them trapped within their own mind in a seemingly endless loop of thought.

As our introverted iNtuition (Ni) ponders theories, concepts and possibilities, it feeds these ideas to our Ti which seeks facts and logic to back up and solidify these thoughts.  As it obtains this information, it feeds it back to our Ni which creates even more theories and concepts.

Each time this loop goes full circle, the thoughts become more and more radical and outlandish, pushing us further from reality and deeper into our minds.”

http://www.jennifersoldner.com/2016/02/ni-ti-loop.html

So we get Ugetsu thinking about how they chasing each other and neglecting music, then instead of talking to Akihiko about his insecurities he decided to push him away since prior to their meeting he was alone and fine this way. When declaring breakup didn’t work, he fallen further in this way of thinking and tried to discourage Akihiko by sleeping with other men. However, logic doesn’t apply well to love, so he is conflicted about his feelings constantly. So there is cycle in their relationship of pulling and pushing away resulting only in more pain and violence.

But even after Akihiko leaves him after their argument, it got even worse – he got more isolated from rest of world and depressed. His solution didn’t work at all.

During CAC we can observe that he starts to understand this. He seems to be stunned that not only Mafuyu can perform music on his level and be connected to others and Akihiko’s skill in drums got so much better thanks to Haruki’s influence.

Theoretically this could be end with him failing to change but…

CAC song is about ending and begging. It conveys that positive change is possible. I like how Mafuyu is not only referencing his experience about trauma and healing, but want to help others persons in his life and reassure them that everything will be alright. And there is this frame:

Of course it has double meaning – Mafuyu want to resonate feelings via music like Ugetsu as well as to resonate meaning of song to him.

So concluding – with the both facts that Ugetsu does no longer believe in his previous standpoint and we have positive message of the song, we can discard option that his story ends here. But what comes next?

3. 3-act structure and what it means for the story

Quoting Wikipedia:

“The three-act structure is a model used in narrative fiction that divides a story into three parts, often called the Setup, the Confrontation and the Resolution.”

For Given as whole it would look like that (image from wikipedia, little changed by me):

3-act structure is one of most common used in stories. I think it can be applied to Given too, because of the way stakes are gradually rising and evolution of Mafuyu’s songs (first one about his trauma and past love, second about positive change and final will be most likely about his feelings for Uenoyama – well technically second one mentions it too, but I think it will be explored more). For now I rather want to use that structure as tool to predict what can happen. Let’s look again at what Wikipedia says about final act:

“The third act features the resolution of the story and its subplots. The climax is the scene or sequence in which the main tensions of the story are brought to their most intense point and the dramatic question answered, leaving the protagonist and other characters with a new sense of who they really are.”

How to grow more tension?

For me the most interesting it would be instead of *insert some cliché drama* getting all main four character confronted with someone who foils all of them on both music and personal level. It would cause to challenge their perspectives, disrupt the routine and reevaluate their standpoints. In the end it would be resulting in character grow for all of them.

In less vague terms my theory is that Ugetsu will perform together with Given on debut in festival. To break Ni-Ti loop the best is interacting with people and outside world. To step out of comfort zone and leave basement.

I envision this scenario roughly like that:

Since it is very likely that Mafuyu will write new song (probably together with Uenoyama)

Then he would consult it with Ugetsu

Mafuyu would be concerned about the other wellbeing hence trying to help him the same way it worked for him in begging of the story 

Tensions during rehearsals – mainly due to Ugetsu being critical of their skills at music

After some time Ugetsu will start open towards rest of group and genuine wanting to help them performing at their the best – even if it would took some sacrifice from him (like resignation from violin competition or concert)

Thus resulting in final reconciliation with Akihiko (not necessary in romantic sense, more like healing each other wounds they caused before)

Climax at debut

Of course, maybe I went too far with this theory, but it would wrap up things nicely in my opinion. This was written emphasizing Ugetsu’s story, maybe I will expand it in relation to rest characters another time.

Finally I want to point out certain issues that would tie into this from recent chapter:

1.    Mafuyu’s hesitation about debut - his fear of taking music seriously is rooted in Yuuki’s death and Ugetsu’s story as well. As chapter 18 showed he want to learn from their mistakes and I think he is afraid of losing himself too much in music and breaking up with Uenoyama in result. In order to move forward he has to make peace with music in some sense like discussing his insecurities with certain some who embodies music basically XD

2.    Akihiko pursuing both violin and drums – these two instruments are so loaded with double meaning (drums – fun, escaping pain and violin – passion and lost dreams). But regardless if Akihiko has to choose one of them or not – pursing violin corresponds to confronting why he given up on violinist career earlier and by this confronting Ugetsu

Bonus:

Doesn’t sound it like foreshadowing?

So this is all for today. I don’t remember writing this much since my thesis – I hope it is coherent and that there is not that many errors XD If there is something unclear – feel free to ask.

[cctinsleybaxter]

2019 in books

The year’s contenders for the good, the bad, and the rest. I used to make a list of the ten best books I read all year, a tradition encouraged by my mom as far back as high school, but out 2019′s twenty-six mediocre offerings it didn’t really come together. Instead I’ve decided to break my ‘honorable mentions’ category into three subsections that I hope you’ll enjoy. In order of when read, not in order of affection:

Honorable mentions [books I liked; 3+ star material]

The Fifth Season by N.K Jemisin was given to me as a Christmas present last year, and I wasn’t sure how much I would like it since I don’t really do high fantasy. Rules need not apply; I loved the world building and narrative structure, and the characters were so much better than I’m used to even when their arcs seemed familiar at first glance. I guessed what was going on with the formatting maybe a little too quickly, but even then it was emotionally engaging and I was eager to keep reading and see what happened next. Haven’t devoured a book that way in years.

The Periodic Table by Primo Levi has been on my list for a while; as a memoir told through short stories it’s hit-or-miss, but so worth it. I especially loved getting to read his early attempts at fiction, and the chapter Phosphorus regarding his first real job as a chemist in 1942 (his description of his absolute disgust at having to work with rabbits, the feel of their fur and the “natural handle” of the ears is a personal favorite.) This excerpt is one I just think about a lot because it’s full of small sweet details and so kindly written:

“[my father] known to all the pork butchers because he checked with his logarithmic ruler the multiplication for the prosciutto purchase. Not that he purchased this last item with a carefree heart; superstitious rather than religious, he felt ill at ease breaking the kasherut rules, but he liked prosciutto so much that, faced by the temptation of a shop window, he yielded every time, sighing, cursing under his breath, and watching me out of the corner of his eye, as if he feared my judgement or hoped for my complicity.”

Slowing Down from Mouthful of Birds by Samanta Schweblin is a one-page short story, but I’m including it because it’s the best in the book and one of the better stories I’ve read in general. I won’t spoil it for you since it’s more poem than anything else (and you can read the whole thing here.)

A Short Film About Disappointment by Joshua Mattson deserves to be lower in the order because it’s like. Bad. But I couldn’t help but have a self-indulgent kind of love for it, since it’s a book about white boy ennui told through movie reviews. It definitely gets old by the end (one of those things where you can tell the author lost steam just as much as his leading man), but parts of it are so well-written and the concept clever. 80+ imaginary movie reviews and psychosomatic possession by your traitorous best friend. 

The Gone-Away World by Nick Harkaway has one of the greatest twists I’ve ever read in a novel, and no that’s not a spoiler, and yes I will recommend it entirely on that basis. It does its job as a multi-year sci-fi epic; reminds me a lot of Walter Moer’s early stuff in that it’s a bit Much(tm) but still a good mixture of politics and absurdity and absolute characters. Tobemory Trent was my favorite of the ensemble cast (but also boy do I wish men would learn how to write women.)

My Only Wife by Jac Jemk is a novella with only two characters, both unnamed, a man describing fragmented memories of his wife. It has me interested in Jemck’s other writing because even though I didn’t love it she writes beautifully; reading her work is like watching someone paint. The whole thing has a very indie movie feel to it (no scene of someone peeing but there SHOULD be), which I don’t think I’ve experienced in a story like this before and would like to try again. 

Mentions [books I really wanted to like but my GOD did something go wrong]

Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup by John Carreyrou is the most comprehensive history we have of Elizabeth Holmes and her con-company Theranos. It’s incredibly well-researched and absolutely fascinating, but veers into unnecessary pro-military stuff in one chapter (’can you believe she tricked the government?’ yes i can, good for her, leave me alone) and carries an air of racism directed at Holmes’ partner and the Pakistani people he brings onto the company. Carreyrou works for WSJ so I don’t know what I expected.

Circe by Madeline Miller was fun to read and goes down like a glass of iced tea on a hot day, but leaves a bit of an unpleasant aftertaste. It says a lot of things that seem very resonant and beautiful but ultimately ring hollow, and the ending is too safe. Predictable and inevitable. 

I was also bothered about Circe’s relationships with Odysseus and Telemachus as a focal point, not because they’re father and son (Greek mythology ethics : non-committal hand gesture) but because it’s the traditional “I used to like bold men but now I like... sensitive men.” Which as a character arc feels not unrealistic but very boring. You close the book and realize you’re not nine and reading your beat-up copy of Greek Myths, you’re an adult reading a New York Times Bestseller by a middle aged straight white woman.

Reservoir 13 by Jon McGregor could have been the best thing I read all year and I’m miserable at how bad it ended up being. The concept is excellent; a thirteen-year-old girl goes missing in a rural English village, and every chapter chronicles a passing year. I knew it would be slow, I like slow, but nothing happens in this book and it ends up it feeling like Broadchurch without the detectives. Plus, McGregor, you know sometimes you can take a moral stance in your story and not just make everything a grey area? Especially with subplots that deal with things like pedophilia and institutional racism?

Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl by Andrea Lawlor is about a twenty-something who moves from Iowa to San Francisco in the 90s and explores gender and sexuality through shapeshifting. It was something I really thought I would like and maybe even find helpful in my own life, but I couldn’t stand a single one of the characters or the narration so that’s on me! It does contain one of my favorite lines I’ve read in a long time though:

“And anyway, weren’t French boys supposed to be like Giovanni, waiting gaily for you in their rented room and actually Italian?”

Dishonorable mentions [there’s no saving these fellows]

The Butterfly Garden by Dot Hutchinson was supposed to be a fun easy-to-read thriller and what can I say except what the jklfkhlkj;fkfuck. It very quickly goes from ‘oh hey I read books like this when I was 15’ to ‘oh the girl who intentionally gets kidnapped by a wealthy serial killer is accidentally falling in love with his son and can’t stop talking about his eye color now huh.’ I felt like I was losing my mind; why did grown adults give this 5 stars on Goodreads.

The Beautiful Bureaucrat by Helen Phillips is supposedly surrealist horror fiction about working an office job in a new town, and reminded me of that rocky third or fourth year when I really started hating Welcome to Night Vale. All spark no substance, and even less fun because you know it’s going nowhere. I’ve also realized this past year that I cannot stand stories about women where their only personality trait is the desire to have children. People will throw the word ‘Kafkaesque’ at anything but here it was just insulting. 

The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai alternates point of view between Yale, a gay man living in Chicago in the late 80s and watching his friends die, and Fiona, the straight younger sister of one of those friends now looking for her erstwhile daughter in 2018. It was nominated for the 2018 Pulitzer, and part of my interest was in wondering how we were going to connect the plot lines of ‘the personal cost of the AIDS crisis’ with ‘daughter lost to a cult.’

The answer is that we don’t. The book is well-researched and acclaimed beyond belief, but it is SUCH a straight story. Yale’s arc is fueled by the drama of his boyfriend cheating on him and infecting them both, Fiona is painted as a witness to tragedy and encouraged to share their stories with her own daughter. “You’re like the Mother Theresa of Boys Town” one of the men complains bitterly of her, and the claim goes undisputed. It’s a story that makes a lot of statements about love and families and art that I feel we’ve all heard before to much greater effect.

[chubbyooo]

Blurred Lines Chapter 32 - The Calm Before the Storm

after the short hiatus while i focussed on other projects we’re moving back over to Kyradia 

Kyradia and Ashara regroup with their crew and prepare for the coming fight

Kyradia covered her eyes as the Fury touched down in front of them blowing dust and sticks in their direction. They had decided they would need to be crafty if they were going to catch Zash’s people, Ashara’s bug had been working wonders they knew exactly where they were and what they were saying but catching up was still an issue. This temple was in the middle of a lake so Ashara had suggested an arial assault, definitely the right call apparently their adversaries had jumped over stepping stones for like an hour. As the boarding ramp lowered Kyradia could see the rapid foot tapping of seemingly Andronikos, as soon as it was down he strode over to them folding his arms as he arrived this was gonna take a while.

“so I’m guessing you didn’t capture them” Kyradia nodded not making eye contact. Andronikos put his hand on Kyradia’s shoulder Kyradia let out a small smile but that’s all she could muster at the moment

“come on let’s get inside we can explain in there” Ashara began heading into the fury leaving Kyradia with Andronikos, Kyradia still not looking at him

Andronikos held her by the shoulders “hey Ky are you alright you look pretty shaken up” Kyradia took a deep breath before wrapping her arms around him burying her face in his shoulder. Andronikos awkwardly put his arms around her “hey hey hun it’s ok just tell me what happened ok” they were both bad at hugs and general signs of affection so Kyradia didn’t blame him for being surprised by this

Kyradia held him for a few more seconds before she looked towards him and shakily said “Zash is back” Andronikos’ eyes widened raising his eyebrows 

He stumbled over his words as he responded “what wha what do you mean back h-how can she be back?” he seemed to still be processing the information frowning heavily

Kyradia swallowed “I uh I dunno how but she got out of the prison and I uh dunno but we gotta stop her” Kyradia hung her head and sighed heavily

She felt a hand clasp the back of her head and hug her tightly “hey it’s ok hun we’ll stop her and trust me I wouldn’t mind showing her the back end of my blaster, I’m not afraid to hit a girl” he paused “at least one like that” Kyraida let out a small chuckle 

“yeah right she’s a sith lord she’d kick your ass” she smiled at him as he frowned lifting his chin up feigning anger

He raised his eyebrow grinning at her “she may have the force but i’ve got you, with you around I think I’ll be just fine” he was right there Kyradia couldn’t wait to destroy her 

She leant in close to him “oh yeah you just assume I’ll protect you” in response Andronikos leant and passionately kissed her

Kyradia let it last for a few seconds before Andronikos leant back “yeah I do” Kyradia looked away turning a deep red 

“shut up” she punched his arm playfully

Andronikos chuckled “never” they grinned at each other before turning towards the ship. Ashara was standing there arms folded tapping her foot impatiently, Kyradia just grinned at her as her frown broadened

Kyradia took Andronikos’ hand for a second as they walked “uh thanks”

Andronikos cocked his head as they walked “for what hun” Kyradia sighed she didn’t want to have to say it out loud she was so bad at touchy feely stuff

Kyradia toiled with her hair “for uh cheering me up” ugh why was she so bad at this. They made their way to the ship in silence Ashara looking relived as they finally arrived.

The Holoterminal flickered to life with the temple structure coming into view “this is the temple of Exar Kun” Ashara explained, she was taking point on this one which seemed like the best idea she would explain it with less anger and cursing.

Xalek cocked his head at the display “and this is where the Dashade is hiding?” they all frowned turning to him

Ashara turned to him “what no” Xalek held an icy glare towards Ashara before turning to Kyradia, Kyradia let out a small sigh even now when Xalek was a sith lord he was still jealous of Ashara.

Xalek folded his arms confused “you said we were after Zash right?” Kyradia frowned but then it hit her Xalek only ever knew her as part of Khem

“um Xalek you’re aware that Khem had Zash’s uh essence inside him right, they’re not the same person” Xalek took a long moment 

“oh I uh I always assumed the two voices was a Dashade thing” Kyradia pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed “that does make a lot more sense actually” Andronikos sarcastically nodded her head at him

Ashara stifled a chuckle “well so you’re aware the real Zash is currently inside a holocron and should be some sort of human, maybe blonde but the ritual is unclear as of yet” Xalek stroked his chin nodding “ok well with... that out the way Zash’s followers, a milirian named Terri and a human named Lusari are performing some kind of ritual” Kyradia nodded, the bug had certainly given them insight on those two, they seemed very naive and unaware of the seriousness of what they were doing. She was almost positive Zash had lied to them but she wasn’t sure how much, Zash had always been lying to her so she could only assume it was the same.

Xalek got out a small notepad “so kill them and take the holocron” they all let out a long but expected sigh as Xalek began seemingly jotting that down

Kyradia spoke up knowing it would be much easier to convince Xalek if she said it “no they seem like they are somewhat being manipulated and as a result we should take them alive” Xalek nodded crossing out what he just wrote

Xalek murmured quietly “I see useful for interrogation” Ashara sighed looking towards Kyradia

Kyradia shrugged “sure but make sure they’re not that injured alright?” Xalek nodded taking futher notes, Kyradia had given him the notebook after a few incidents where he forgot key orders like that and compromised their plan, she was pleased he actually used it.

Ashara turned back to the display “anyway we know that the ritual will be starting soon and as a result we need to get there ASAP so we’re gonna fly over and drop out of the ship” Andronikos nodded looking a little frustrated to be on ship duty again

He said through gritted teeth “alright I’ll get the parachutes ready” Ashara smiled at him

“oh don’t worry you’ll be seeing plenty of action apparently they have some mercenaries prepared for extraction so you’ll be blocking their escape alright?” Andronikos smiled nodding seemingly pleased with his assignment “oh and don’t bother with the parachutes they’re too slow”

Andronikos looked taken aback “what? how are you gonna land?” he kept looking towards Kyradia clearly worried

Kyradia gave him a devious look “we got the force don’t worry” she let a little lightning crackle in her hand 

Andronikos stepped back “if anything that makes me worry more” that was fair but they’d be fine she knew it, that was the easy part

Ashara pointed at the temple “once landed we will most likely be met with one or both of the prior mentioned followers so that’s why we’re bringing you Xalek” Xalek smiled his hand brushing over his lightsaber

“sounds good I’ve missed the action” Ashara narrowed her eyes at him and Kyradia had to admit she was also worried about him accidentally killing sone of them but given the stakes they needed his help

“Kyradia will then head in and stop the ritual before Zash can I guess return” she looked to Kyradia who nodded, Kyradia wasn’t sure how Zash would come back but she assumed it would have bad consequences

Xalek looked away for a second before asking “what if she doesn’t stop the ritual” Xalek seemed reluctant to ask the question but Kyradia understood the reasoning.

Kyradia didn’t want to think about it but it was likely to happen “then I’ll have to fight Zash and hopefully you can help me” both Ashara and Xalek nodded, Kyradia felt a small well of pride knowing they’d have her back

Ashara looked to each of them “so we all clear” they all nodded “ok lets get going then” Ashara and Andronikos went to start preparing leaving Xalek and Kyradia in the room

Xalek moved to the corner and began practicing with his lightsaber, Kyradia stayed quiet for a second before speaking up “Xalek what’s the key thing you need to remember about this mission?” Xalek turned around frowning in confusion for a second

“um” he looked away “don’t kill the followers?” Kyradia nodded smiling at him, he attempted to smile back but it came out as more of a snarl, Kyradia had never related to Xalek more. “so she’s back then?” Xalek gestured to the door Ashara had gone through as he folded his arms

Kyradia let out a long sigh “ya know Xalek you’re not my apprentice anymore and neither is she there’s no reason to be jealous of her” Xalek had always been jealous of Ashara back when they were apprentices, Kyradia kinda got it he was much more traditional for a sith apprentice so it must have been annoying how she always favoured Ashara.

Xalek looked away “I’m not jealous” he paused “I just think you already have a force using friend to help you out... who says you need another” Kyradia let out a long sigh before walking towards the cockpit she didn’t want to deal with that right now. 

As she walked into the cockpit she could see Andronikos plotting the course into the navicomputer “you got everything sorted up here hun?” he turned round to her with a smile

“oh yeah these mercenaries wont know what hit them” Kyradia nodded at him raising her eyebrow

“uh huh i bet they’ll go down in seconds” she leant in giving him a quick kiss on his cheek before looking out of the view port

he put his hand on her shoulder “are you prepared for this Ky?” she continued looking out the viewport

“as ready as I can be” she paused “it’s just well we have so much history I uh I dunno I thought I’d put all that past stuff behind me and could become better” she paused again “I’m a better person now right?” 

Andronikos squeezed her shoulder “of course hun and for the record you’ve always been awesome, no one likes confronting their past” she held his hand tight

“yeah i guess I just...” she trailed off, thinking about her past always did this she should focus on the task at hand “never mind I’m gonna go check on Ashara” Andronikos frowned at her but didn’t press her as she stumbled away.

when Kyradia caught up with Ashara she found her meditating in the engine room “brings back memories huh?” Ashara was startled nearly falling backwards but caught herself.

“uh yeah I uh guess so I dunno i feel kinda homely in here” she stumbled up looking around awkwardly

“yeah I get that, no matter where I sleep the Fury is more like home to me” Ashara nodded seemingly agreeing. Kyradia looked away holding the back of her head “I uh just wanted to check you were ready for this?”

Ashara gave a warm smile “yeah I think so, I’ll have you’re back” she cocked her head “but are yo-” 

Kyradia interrupted “please don’t ask me if I’m ready for this everyone is doing that” Ashara chuckled nodding

“alright sure no worries” she paused “uh I know we’ve gotten a little caught up in all this but I just want you to know I’m sorry I judged you so harshly” Ashara fidgeted awkwardly

Kyradia nodded “I think it was completely fair I can be a real grade A bitch sometimes” Ashara gave a half smile

“maybe the old you but you’ve changed since then Kyradia, this conversation is proof in of itself” Kyradia frowned she didn’t really agree

Kyradia looked away “you’re too kind I’m not that different if yo-” as she looked away she felt arms wrap around her as she tensed up turning to see Ashara hugging her “uh ah um Ashara I’m still not a hugger”

Ashara laughed deviously “take my complement then” Kyradia’s arms went limp as she conceded

Kyradia groaned “fine” Ashara let go beaming, seemingly pleased with the results. Kyradia knew she wasn’t right though and she’d probably agree if she knew everything about her, maybe she should tell her? no after they stop Zash just in case she needs Ashara, it’s too much of a long story anyway.

A silence fell over the chamber that was broken when they heard Andronikos’ voice through the coms “we’re getting close guys get into position” looks like it’ll have to wait she had a sith to eviscerate...

[leapingtitan]

Thoughts on Chapter 114

I have to say that I’ve been looking forward to this chapter for almost 3 years. Zeke being my favorite character, his past is something I’ve been wanting to see all this time. And Isayama delivered just on time.

There are a few points to point out in regards to this, but this may very well be my favorite snk chapter, at least for the time being. It has basically all of the things that make me love snk as a whole. Main lore revelations, displays of how fucked up the world is and of course, Zeke Jaeger as a character and the revelation of what he has been trying to do all along.

Zeke’s past is, to say the least, screwed up. Grisha and Dina’s behavior towards him was very much what we expected it to be. It was hinted, but seeing it from Zeke’s eyes was just drenching. Those two didn’t really care about Zeke as a child and used him for their purposes in acquiring the Founding Titan. All in the process, they forgot that he is just a child and placed enormous stress on him. As Xaver stated, it didn’t even look like he wanted to become a warrior himself, at least not until much later.

Tom Xaver is the “Mysterious Man” from the character guidebook who was briefly mentioned at the end of last chapter. Although it was speculated to be the case because of his armband, getting the confirmation that he the source of both the Beast Titan’s powers that Zeke ended up acquiring later on and the glasses with Zeke seem to have personal value to Zeke for the obvious reason that is him and Xaver’s relationship.

Xaver, in any case, was an interesting character on his own. His manifestation of the Beast Titan’s powers was apparently deemed unfitting for Marley’s typical usage of their power, that is invading other countries and making use of the sheer force that is the Titan shifting ability. Although I’m curious to know how exactly Xaver’s Beast Titan was “useless” in that regard. Remember when Magath was analyzing each of the Titans in the first half of the Marley arc? It seems that the thing that Beast Titans have in common is being slightly taller than the others that are not the Colossal Titan.

Since Xaver was already a baseball player who seemingly had quite a bit of free time to practice the sport, my guess is his Beast Titan did not have the physical features that Zeke’s does. In this case, the abnormally long arms which would provide massive momentum and throwing strength.

But regardless, Tom Xaver chooses to dedicate the remainder of his life to being a Titan Researcher. This was personally an enjoyable aspect of his character to me, as the Titan Chemistry Research Society that has been mentioned since the Basement reveal hasn’t really gotten any direct exposition, so seeing a direct member of it was nice.

Anyway, Zeke isn’t doing that well as a warrior and Tom Xaver is not fit for combat, so the two naturally spend a lot of time together. It ultimately leads to Xaver being the one to suggest Zeke betraying his parents after he overhears that Marley is on their trail. In a way, this ultimately sheds light to Zeke’s further developments.

He betrayed his parents to save his own life plus that of his grandparents, and it wasn’t until later when he found the resolve as an Eldian Restorationist on his own. Thus, I truly believe in what he told Kiyomi. His parents being cruel and inconsiderate of him aside, Zeke may or may not have come to his own conclusion that they would only bring Eldia down.

It isn’t until Zeke’s later years that we find out about a certain reveal which I quite appreciated. Eldians, “Subjects of Ymir” are biological extensions of the Founding Titan’s biology itself. That’s just the way of saying that they’re all connected to the Coordinate in the middle, where the Founding Titan is. As Zeke’s Beast Titan can trasnform those marked to his own Coordinate, his Titan via spinal fluid, we can assume that, should the Founding Titan decide to do so, can mass-transform Eldians in the same fashion as the it’s connected to all of them by default. On top of that, Xaver theorizes that it possesses the ability to alter their biological structure to the point of completely eradicating an epidemic.

This theory is what brings us to the main reveal this chapter, Zeke’s plan which we have been theorizing about for a long time now. To use the Founding Titan’s powers to sterilize every Eldian and wait for the last generation to die either by natural or non-natural means. With that, even if one of the 9 Titans remains, once they reach the 13 year point, the power wouldn’t have anyone to transfer to. Thus, ending the “cursed history” just like he said he would.

Before I elaborate on that, Tom reveals to Zeke that he himself wishes he never would have been born due to the stuff that happened with his wife. Truly cruel, and you can see that until the end they remain on the same page. The father/son moment they had as well was quite touching but very tragic, just like the rest of the chapter for the most part.

We come to the current point in time where Zeke detonates the thunderspear in his abdomen in hopes to escape his confinement and get rid of Levi. Both of them have been opposing forces since the Return to Shiganshina arc but they both ended up making the same mistake over and over again: Underestimating each other. Levi didn’t think Zeke would do anything under his watch in the forest and didn’t think he would actually detonate himself either. Meanwhile, Zeke has underestimated Levi an equal number of times as well.

But regardless, he did it. I don’t believe that Zeke is dead because let’s be real here, he has quite a lot of plot armor and killing him after revealing his goal to euthanize the Eldian race would be anti-climatic and would render the entire chapter pointless. Levi, on the other hand, has to die sooner or later. I’m not saying I’m “happy” though I personally never hold personal bias and attachment with characters outside of ironic and meme reasons. If a character dies, they die. That’s it. I’ve been reading snk for almost 5 years and I’ve gotten used to it at this point.

With that said Levi could potentially come back later depending on how fast he heals but my prediction is, someone will find him and he’s going to have his last words. When the big boom happens, it seems to be raining. Atmospherically that seems an appropriate end for him, whenever someone finds him. As for Zeke, seems like Levi was lying. He did close his limbs from the explosion from what we can see though it’s nothing he can’t regenerate. His neck seems in tact and it looks like he’s gotten used to physical pain at this point. Honestly, it’s tragic.

Lastly we come to what I believe is the most important lead we have this chapter. Folks,

Zeke and Eren are not on the same side.

Although we can question Eren’s mental state and motives for the past 20 chapters, let’s just keep in kind that this is Eren who has ALWAYS fought for freedom. The one who possesses the Attack Titan, at that. Now, do you really believe that his idea of “Freedom” is for his own race to go extinct?

Personally, I think he may have tricked Zeke, but at the end, I believe the two to have entirely different motives and are not going to be the dynamic duo of this final arc.

The biggest reason why I think that is an interview that Isayama held a few years ago when he was asked about Zeke. This is not a direct quote, but Isayama says something along the lines of

“When coming up with Zeke’s character, I wanted to follow a main common trope that the main character, in this case Eren, needs an opposite. In this case, Zeke is the type of brotherly existence to Eren but is ultimately the kind of character the protagonist strives not to become.”

In other words, Eren and Zeke both wish for Eldia’s salvation. However, they have different ideas. Zeke wishes for the extinction of the Eldian race, while Eren likely wishes for Eldia to overcome its oppression even if it means absolute genocide against the rest of the world.

This is why I believe that the “Final Battle” will involve the infiltrating Marleyan warriors, the fleet fighting off against the remainder of the Survey Corps, while Eren deals with Zeke.

Logically speaking, Zeke has no reason to activate the rumbling, but what needs to be elaborated on is that Eren is the one who decides what the outcome of the usage of the Founding Titan’s powers are, not Zeke. I definitely believe the two will duke it out, but before that we are going to get the next thing I’ve been waiting for which is their long-awaited reunion. And no, the airship doesn’t count.

Overall, like I said this may very well be my favorite snk chapter for now. Don’t have much else to say except it’s very solid and I look forward to seeing the rest, as usual.

[seyaryminamoto]

I've been browsing your blog for Sokkla research as I feel like it has similarities to what I'm trying to write with Azula and Soren. I haven't begun tackling Gladiator yet, as it looks a little daunting, but I feel I should since I keep hearing so much. I am a little hesitant over accidentally using anything you wrote for my own story. I'd be proud if I could make it as long and epic as yours. It's very personal to me. What motivated you to write Gladiator and keep writing for so long?

Yeah, I saw your post about your crossover ship having potential similarities with Sokkla and I agree that it would, since Soren shares a few traits with Sokka, character-wise. Admittedly, Azula interacting with a character like Soren would present quite a lot of fun possibilities, so it seems to be an idea worth exploring :)

As for reading Gladiator and accidentally using similar tropes… well, I don’t know if it will ease your mind much, but there are several tropes that I’ve run into in many Sokkla fics, mine, other people’s, just… lots of them xD and it’s not really a problem. Storytelling can lead to similar places, but usually, every writer handles their tropes and character development differently.

My plan for a certain, poignant scene in Gladiator’s 96th chapter was set in stone in my head back when I started plotting the fic (like I said in that ask I answered yesterday). The scene in question is one I depicted in some artworks for Gladiator’s second anniversary: Sokka defeats Azula in combat for the first time, pins her down, aims his sword at her, and they just stare at each other before things take a pretty heated twist...

A few months after planning this, I read another fic where practically the same thing happened between them (it’s a Spanish fic, I hadn’t tried reading it yet because it was incomplete, sometimes I still scold the writer in question for never finishing it), only, rather than it happening when they could no longer resist the attraction between them, it happened when they were barely getting to know each other: Azula followed Sokka into a forest clearing, where he was training on his own. Upon noticing someone was hiding in the bushes, he leaps at her and pins her down, aiming his sword at her as well. Of course, he freaks out upon realizing it’s her, she isn’t very happy, and no heated things happen other than a lot of blushing, especially on her part xD

So, as you can see, even if the trope is “Sokka holds Azula down, at swordpoint”, the context was entirely different, the outcome was completely different and heck, the wording and even language we used was 100% different.  I came up with the idea for Gladiator before reading Majesty, later on I found out that someone had written a very similar scene already (and it was a close associate of mine, no less xD). As much as I didn’t feel like I was all that original anymore… I didn’t change my plans because of that. As long as I didn’t pull a Cassandra Clare and copy-pasted the whole scene my friend wrote into Gladiator, where was the harm in trying my own hand at it? I wrote the tropey situation in my own way, with my own words, and it’s completely my own thing.

There was something else that happened with Gladiator, another friend read it and thought I was taking inspiration for my portrayal of Sokka and Azula from a couple in a TV show she loved. Turns out I’d heard about the show, but I hadn’t watched it until she nudged me enough to do it (no regrets!), and after watching it I understood where the similarities were, but the context was all different. More than that, a certain situation (Sokka admitting his love for Azula for the first time, she asks him to say it again) was close enough to what happened between the main couple in said TV show…

… But I actually had been inspired by another couple, in ANOTHER TV show, that had a slightly similar exchange too xD

Therefore, tropes are tropes. I’ve recycled so many tropes in so many things I’ve written that people could probably psychoanalyze me and figure out all my brain chemistry damn easily if they did. I tend to have a very particular structure when writing, too (the original story I wrote and finished had 3 parts, Gladiator has 3 parts too, to name the most superficial similarity only), and I’ve frequently explored similar topics in them. It’s hardly a crime to do it again, but as long as you do it in a unique way, there’d be no harm in testing how some tropes would turn out with Soren and Azula. It could be worrisome if you portrayed Soren reacting to events exactly the same way Sokka does, but that’s not very likely to happen. As similar as they can be, they’re also different in several ways and in the post where you compared them you seemed to see those differences pretty clearly.

Therefore, I don’t think there’s any real harm in trying your hand at certain tropes and situations. If the context is different, if there’s logic to what you’re writing, and of course, as long as you write it yourself, there’s absolutely no need to worry about repeating things other people have done before.

That being said, don’t feel pressured to read Gladiator at all. I’m glad people have recommended it, but I understand if it feels not only daunting but that maybe you won’t be sure what to write if you see all the stuff I’ve done so far. Gladiator is many things, and one of them is my playground for testing Sokka and Azula’s relationship in just about every way I can xD it’s so long that I’ve been free to play with all sorts of possibilities with them, to fulfill all my shippiest wishes for these two. Therefore, if you’d rather be true to your own ideas and not get too influenced by it, it’s absolutely understandable not to read it until you feel comfortable about giving it a shot (presumably, once you’ve plotted plenty of own story and feel like you won’t be at risk of taking too much inspiration from it).

As for what motivates me… well, I guess there were many factors. One of them is that Gladiator was an idea worth digging into, with so much to explore that I was completely overwhelmed by the possibilities and I got completely caught up in it. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted the story to exist, so I decided I needed to make it happen. As it’s practically a full re-write of ATLA’s storyline, I had a chance to just… handle everything on my terms. And that meant the developments I didn’t like from the show could change: I could improve on things I thought needed improvements, I could add things that I felt the show needed, and so on and so forth. There were nearly no limits, really, and as I was absolutely lost in the beauty and glory of my OTP, I couldn’t help myself and I decided to dive right in.

It helps a lot that Gladiator’s kind of a multi-faceted thing: as I’ve been developing my art too, whenever I was bored in class I’d sketch things related to it and then, if I had a chance and the sketch was good enough, I’d finish the art digitally later. I have a lot of music that inspires me, so sometimes I just sit down, listen to it, and I let myself evoke scenes that I want to write or draw. Fact is, the whole fifth anniversary project was a mix of art and music: the songs that inspired many arcs of Part 1, along with images that referenced them.

Lastly, though… I generally know where Gladiator’s going, so I don’t usually reach a point where I’m like “Woah I have zero plans for what to do next”. I plot things for the story whenever I have nothing to do (when I’m traveling places, when I’m showering, when I’m waiting for something? Just, whenever, wherever). If an arc isn’t shaping up to be particularly fun, I try to figure out what to do to make it more interesting and appealing for me to write. Whenever I come up with something I’m hyped about writing, it helps me keep on writing until I get there. Sometimes that’s also a curse because I go overboard and write like… 12K in a single day because I am that hyped about whatever I’m doing :’D happened a couple of weeks ago xD

Anyways, always try to fulfill your own needs with your story, first and foremost. Sometimes your public won’t be 100% receptive to your ideas, but sometimes they’ll actually want exactly what you’re putting out there for them. The magic of fanfiction is that, if someone doesn’t like what they’re getting, there’s absolutely nothing to stop them from taking to writing a story they do want, right? So, why should we try to please other people instead of writing what we’d want to read?

Make your story something you can revisit and smile about, make your story something you can find value in, regardless of whoever tries to undermine it. Make it yours, make it everything you want it to be. Want humor? Set up humorous situations (I mean, your lead couple would be Azula and Soren, humor’s basically guaranteed xD). Want tragedy and angst? You can have it too. You really can do anything, as long as you make up your mind to get it done. Figure out what it really is you want to write, the key scenes, the development you’re looking for with your main characters, come up with plans on how to get them where you need them to be, and once you feel you’re in solid grounds for it, feel free to start writing and always keep on looking forward to the big things you’ve wanted to write for your fic.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

⚔️⚔️🏰🐲😭 DMODT last chapter. Full draft... unless I've forgotten something? 85

*** Epilogue *** It'd been a little over a year and half since Eren had last stepped foot in Mitras. The day they'd finally left the castle, both Armin and Mikasa had pleaded with him to stay, but he couldn't. It was time to leave, to start a real life with Levi outside the city and despite all the tears, he was excited. Excited for a future for his family where they'd no longer be expected to be anyone but themselves. It hadn't been easy to reestablish themselves, but the plot of land they wanted had been transferred into their family name, Armin making sure no matter what came that the their line would always own the plot a few hundred metres down from where construction of the orphanage began the following summer. Their own adventures with building were a fiasco. Having the space of the tower had been nice, but now he had children to think of, and with the clutch on the way, Eren only wanted enough space for their small family. His own little cottage, where he'd be playing housekeeper and wife. Levi felt it should be bigger for when guests came, which resulted in a compromise. Levi's study was built to back the nursery, with space for a spare bed should guests come. Using his magic to raise the walls from the ground, he'd felt like he was cheating, simply turning up to the middle of nowhere and magicking their house into existence. The walls he could do. The plumbing... not so much, and his skills with roof making... were nonexistent. Well, they existed, they were just slightly crooked... Levi laughing far too hard at his attempts, though after promised he'd take care of it, it was nearly a month of leaking ceilings before he did, and that was because his pride wouldn't accept help from the team of builders Armin had hired for the orphanage. They'd had a great laugh too. Much to Eren's embarrassment. It wasn't like he knew the building crew would be coming out to survey the orphanage site before they'd fixed things up. Yet, despite all that, Eren was having the time of his life. Luca loved the space, happy to run around and annoy anything that moved. They'd brought chicken with them when they'd left the city, only Luca didn't know they weren't for playing. More than a few sent to early deaths by the dragon trying to befriend them. Not making the same mistake twice, Levi built a barn to right of the house, space outside the structure for their horses, which gradually grew to house their cow, and then the replacement chickens Farlan and Isabel brought out with them on their first visit. Up from the barn Levi built a greenhouse for his herb collection, which Eren left to the professionals when it came to the glass fit out of the space. Gradually, over the next six months their home came together. Levi's vegetable patch requiring a small infusion of magic secretly more than once. His husband tried his hardest, but... Eren didn't know he kept killing everything. You sew the seeds. You water everything in. You weed and watch it grow. Somehow things went from being green one day, to yellow and brown withered sticks of sadness the next. After the third failed crop, the omega couldn't let his alpha continue to suffer. Denying all knowledge of magical intervention, yet they both knew it was there, but neither of them spoke of it. Especially when comparing Levi's vegetable patch with Eren's small orchard. They'd purchased a variety of fruits and vegetables when leaving Mitras in an attempt to stock up, which didn't happen with Luca around, so Eren had sewn the remnants and now was the proud owner of some very impressive apple trees that were starting to encroach on the left side of their cottage. Luca especially appreciated being able to steal apples when he felt, though most of his time was still spent chasing after Viren. The pair of them... he loved them... but they were as thick as thieves. If they could be in out, out of it, covered in it, or hiding it, they were. Viren's first steps had been at the castle, their pup then deciding to make them wait a week before trying again... and after that... he never stopped moving. Each time Eren took his eyes off him, he was off. More than once Luca had to hook him by his nappy to prevent his escape, and more than once he'd turned around for what seemed half a second only to turn back to find Luca covered in Viren's food... mostly thrown at him. Each day his son looked more like Levi, right down to the look of annoyance they'd both share when scolded over spilling water from the bath. Their house might not be the nicest, but Eren was extremely proud of it... once things had been straightened out. He loved to watch Levi and Viren in the garden, his husband would sit their son in his lap to pull weeds, or when he Levi would put Viren on the back of their cow. He honestly didn't know who looked more confused, but each time Viren would giggle and scream for his "daddy". Most of the time the pair were together outside, Luca would inside with him. Being too pregnant to pick him, Luca had had to conquer climbing up on the kitchen bench on his own. A space definitely not made for their son, but mercifully his growth had slowed down so he could only just wedge himself there, ready for pats, kisses, rubs and most importantly left over food. Levi was just as bad when he was cooking. As his pregnancy had progressed, his husband treated him like a princess while fucking him like a whore. Every single chore below waist level was taken care of by his alpha, and every single surface in their house had been christened at least once... Armin claiming he was traumatised for life from over hearing them when he and Mikasa came to visit for Eren's birthday. The joke was on him, they'd fallen into bed on the spare bed Armin was using earlier the same day... then we're forced to strip the whole bed with how carried away they'd been. Now... now he was regretting that sex ever existed. Levi had gone on the fortnightly run to the city for supplies, and almost the moment his mate had left, his waters had broken. Entertaining a toddler while cursing contractions and attempting to control his magic, was not making for a fun morning at all. With Viren on his hip, Eren was making breakfast when the telltale sudden short gushing feel had come, then the telltale trickle as the warmth spread down his inner thighs. Levi hadn't wanted to leave, teasing him over how sweet he'd smelt that morning as they lazed in bed basking in each other's warmth. Assuring him he'd be fine, he'd waved his husband off. Swearing without thinking, his son had promptly echoed his cry of "fuck", in his cute little voice... all of which had brought him to still standing in the kitchen attempting to make Viren's breakfast while Luca clawed at the kitchen door, probably trying to attempt to free himself so he could go find Levi and not have to deal with him in labour alone. With tears rolling down his face, rising panic and a contractions that he was sure he was never going to get used to, all he wanted to do was curl up in their nest and cry until Levi came home. * Reaching the end of the road to their property, Levi didn't feel right. Eren had assured him that he was alright, that nothing would happen while he was in town, and that nothing would happen for a few more weeks. Yet, the feeling in his gut was telling him otherwise. Faced with either riding home to find Eren perfectly fine and laughing in his face, or heading to town only to come home to some kind of emergency, he knew which he'd take. Unhitching the wagon from his horse, it was a choice that took no thought at all. The past year and a half hadn't all been sun and roses, in the early days he wasn't sure how they didn't kill each other, then there were Eren's nightmares, his nightmares, a leaking roof and lack plumbing... some days it was a damn miracle they'd even got their house together in the end. Mounting his horse, the filly shifted skittishly, barely used for much more than a cart horse. Nudging his heels into her sides, she reared, nearly throwing him in the process. God. He missed his old horse. Holding his reins tighter, her urged her into a gallop, kicking up dust recklessly as he raced to return home. Leaving his horse next to the front door, Levi didn't bother taking off his muddied boots as he jogged into their house, Eren would probably yell at him, but that was a discussion for another time. The moment he'd entered their yard he could feel his omega's pain. His gut feeling proving right again. Almost breaking the kitchen door down, he bellowed "Eren!" Only to realise Eren was still in the kitchen, Viren on his hip as he leaned heavily against the kitchen counter, Luca chirping and trilling as he nudged at Levi's legs "Levi... it's... it's started... I'm sorry..." What. Wait... oh... oh fuck... rushing to his side, he lifted Viren off Eren's hip "Ok. It's a bit early, but it's ok. What do you need?" Eren let out a long breath "I need to shower. Viren and Luca need breakfast..." "Ok... sh... sugar. Ok" Piping up, Viren smacked him with his hand "Fck" Blinking at his boy, he then shot Eren an accusing look "I didn't mean to. My waters broke and it slipped out... you'd be swearing too if you looked like someone had stuffed you with melons" By a year, Eren had looked like he was well and truly stuffed, by 13 months he was a horny mess with constant back pain. 15 months he looked like he couldn't get any damn bigger without physically bursting, it'd eased a little but he was well and truly bred to the brim "Let me get the boys settled. I don't want you getting in and out the bath on your own" "Mmm... mmm... ok... why is it that the contractions are always worse than the pushing part?" The pushing part was the part that had him worried. The contractions didn't cause Eren to shit blood or spend weeks torn and hurting... "Levi, don't you dare go pale like that. This is happening. It's going to take a few hours, but this is happening" "Sorry. You're right. Whatever you need" Giving him a pained smile, Eren pushed himself up to stand, his hands going to his hips as he whined softly in discomfort "Shower, and you'll need to write to Historia. She's supposed to be coming next week to stay, but fuck being in labour for that long" "Then... nest?" There nest had gone up nearly a month and a half ago, Eren blushing adorably when Levi had sprung him layering his clothes into their sheets and furs "Barn... need to organise the barn..." Out of concern for their house, they'd made space in the outer half of the barn where the hay usually lived. There was no way Eren could give birth anally with the size of the eggs he was carrying "Ok. Breakfast for the boys, shower and barn" "What did you do with the horse and cart?" "Well..." "I married an idiot. You feed the kids, I'm going to shower" "You're not getting in alone" "There's a chair. I'll be fine" "Eren..." Raising his scolding finger at him, Levi swallowed down a smile "Don't give that. I was freaking out until you walked through that door. You're here now... don't... don't make me think I have to go through this alone" Reaching out, Levi wrapped an arm around his omega "You're not alone. You're not. I could feel something was wrong. I couldn't go to town because I was so worried for you... I'm here now... you're not alone" Eren smelt intoxicating, Levi forced to pull away "You're ok, Sweet Boy. You're ok. I've got the boys, you shower and I'll be right in" Luca wouldn't settle, for the first time that Levi could remember the little dragon didn't want his food. He was still trying to nudge and rub against Levi's legs, pushing him towards the bathroom door, only for a crashing noise to come from the direction of the bathroom. Yelling at Luca to look after Viren, Levi ran straight into the kitchen door in his hurry to reach Eren, grazing himself impressively on the the wall as then tried to get through the door before it was open enough. Striding through to the bathroom, he found the shower rack had broken, causing the commotion. Eren was sitting in the shower chair he'd insisted on leaving in there given how helpful it'd been last time, trying to pick things up with his toes "What are you doing?" "I tried a little magic... and the rack fell down" "You scared the shit out of me. I thought I was rushing in here to find you on the floor" "I'm fine. My magic's just... off" "That's it. Shower time is over" His instincts couldn't take it "I only just got in!" "I can't... you can bath... but I can't..." Eren's face softened, Levi realising he was tearing up. Fuck. He'd forgotten to write to Historia and now his alpha was getting the better of him, not wanting anyone close to Eren at all "I'm ok. But if you want to me bath, you kind of need to help me?" "Sorry. I..." "Levi, it's ok. We talked about this. I'm going to be ok... it's going to be ok. Here, come here. Luca can watch Viren" It wasn't ok. Viren's birth had been hard... he'd truly thought Eren was going to die. Catching him watching him one night, Eren had drawn his fears out, holding him as he snivelled pathetically in fear of losing his husband "I'm sorry" "It's ok. Birth is scary. I'm scared too... but we have a few hours. My contractions aren't that close yet. Now, come bath in my juices with me" "That sounds revolting" "You're lucky. I'm sure my mucus plug..." The colour drained further from Levi's face "I don't think I want to know" "Probably not..." It wasn't his fault they ended up going for it like rabbits in the bathroom. One minute he was crying and Eren was crying, then Eren was in his lap and crying for a different reason. The only small mercy was that he didn't knot his mate, instead he slipped out at the last moment and had to deal with his omega pouting at him over it, despite the fact he'd come twice as it was. Nuzzling into him, Eren sighed softly against his cheek "I need to shift soon. I won't be able to talk to you" "So soon?" "Mmm. My magic's already playing up" "I'm not ready for this. I don't know how to... what to..." "Levi, you're going to be great. We've talked about this, and it's going to be easier as a dragon. Remember? I told you I'll write if something's wrong" A sketch with a claws not writing. What if Eren couldn't change back...? "I don't think I can do this alone. I know you said to write to Historia, but... my alpha... I'm failure as mate" "You're not a failure. We know how screwed up instincts can be. I trust you. You're my husband and I trust you. Can you bring the boys out to sit for a while? After I've shifted? Luca can handle Viren, but I need to know they're both ok" "I..." He didn't know what to say. It was absolutely horrible. He adored his boys, but Eren was all he could think of "You can do this. You did this last time" "And you bled. You bled and you hurt for weeks..." "But I recovered. And look at Viren. Our baby. Every single day I thank the gods for him. I thank you for him. You're letting your fear do a me" "You're saying I'm spiralling?" "You are. It's time to get out. Can you bring the furs from our nest? I want your scent" "My scared scent?" "Your scent is still yours. You're going to get through this" "I'm supposed to say that to you" "We'll get through this, Levi. Just you wait until you see how many eggs you've knocked into me" Apparently there was a chance of unfertilised eggs having not been absorbed completely and may be birthed. Not that he was going to be able to the tell the difference. The nursery had been set up with a crib loaded with furs to settle their clutch into... but would one crib be enough? His mate wasn't... he hadn't seen his toes or his junk in the last 9 months... "You're spiralling. Here, I'm done soaking. Help me up" Luca disappeared the moment Levi opened the kitchen door to retrieve everything Eren had asked for. His breakfast still untouched, while Viren had enjoyed himself by the look of it, his mashed apple smeared across the boy's face, hands, arms... the floor. The cupboard... Luca had obviously helped their toddler with the mess, before abandoning him to take all the blame, and leaving Levi to clean it all up. If Eren saw the mess, he'd probably break down into tears then try to clean it all up instead of fussing over where he wanted to give birth. The stables hadn't been Levi's first choice. He'd wanted Eren in a soft bed, warm and safe... then his omega pointed out that he needed to be in his dragon form, and that he'd lost control of his magic last time and that he liked their small cottage in one piece, and he'd folded like a deck of cards as he agreed to everything Eren wanted. Anything to get him through this alive and safe... even if it cost them the clutch in the process. Making it outside, Eren was sitting on a bail of hay, Luca standing next with him. Viren running to his brother, rather than his mother as he realised his best friend was right in front of him "Sorry. Daddy gave him mashed apple when he should have given him anything else" "It's fine. It gave Luca and I a chance to talk. He's scared, but he doesn't want to leave me. He's such a sweet boy" "He is. Now, I have all the blankets you want. Where should I place them?" "I was thinking of laying down with my head on the hay. I'll be on my side, so it'll be better to have them near my nose" "And you're going to shift soon?" Eren nodded "Yeah. It might help with the contractions too. I didn't miss them" "I... are you sure? So soon?" "Levi, I'll be ok. Luca won't leave my side, he's made that clear. When the... birth actually starts, he's going to play his part by watching Viren" It was his job to be by Eren's side. Luca was his damn son, not their baby sitter. He shouldn't have to be strong for his baby brother and his father who was having a miniature breakdown over Eren being so pained and in such a vulnerable position. Headbutting Eren lightly, Luca started licking at his cheek as Eren wrapped his arms around him "Ok. Yes. You're staying with me. Mummy isn't making you go away baby boy, and at the end of this, you're going to have more siblings to play with. You and Viren. You're my big baby boy, and I'm so proud to be your mother" Crying as Luca turned his attention away from him, Levi placed the bundle of furs down beside Eren so he could scoop their toddler up "Are you sure you're going to be able to communicate if something does go wrong?" "Yeah. Luca will know too. Come give me a kiss before I shift" Leaning down, Levi tried not to be jealous of Luca being in the way. Kissing his husband, he rested his face against Eren's "I'm not ready" "I can't exactly say no and try again later with this" "That's not what I mean. I want to talk to you. Hold your hand and rub your back. Know how bad it hurts and be with you" "I'm still me" That wasn't what he meant. Eren didn't sound happy with him, probably because he'd accidentally insinuated that dragons were too beastly to communicate "Message received. If you want to shift, go ahead. We'll be right here with you" "I know. Historia did say I should shift back pretty soon after I birth the last egg. I love you so much... and if it gets too much, or if my magic... if my magic is too much... take the boys and go" Tears rolled down Eren's cheeks. Levi feeling guilty for making his mate feel crappier when this was a real issue "I'm not going anywhere. Your magic won't hurt us" "I could bring the roof down on you" "And a freak storm could too" "Which would probably be my magic. I'm going to shift... before I end up crying even harder" "You're going to be ok" "Yeah... and we're going to have another pup or two..." "That are going to look just like you. With those pretty scales of yours" "No... I want them to look just like you. I love you" "I love you too. And I'm going to love them... whatever they look like" "You're making me cry" Like Levi wasn't also an emotional wreck "I'm sorry, Sweet Boy. You shift and get comfortable. I'm not going anywhere" * Eren's labour continued into the night. His husband panting as his contractions grew worse. Luca refused to leave his side, even for bed time. Their son insisted on laying with his nose against Eren's, licking, chirping softly, and nuzzling each time Eren would huff if pain, while Levi had a large clawed foot resting on his leg. He couldn't hold Eren's hand, so it was the closest he could be and the best he could do as he tried to keep Viren preoccupied. Forced to leave to given Viren his dinner and settle him in bed, he couldn't give two fucks about the mess he'd left out by his husband. Viren's lunch, three nappies, his lunch that he was forced to make after Eren glared at him when he returned without food. He'd also glared at him when Levi's horse had come wandering over, reminding them both that the alpha hadn't closed the gate, or moved the animals to the other end of the barn. Still. He didn't like leaving. He'd nearly missed being there as it was, sure he would have returned around sunset, yet Eren had been terrified over everything and he'd only been gone a good half hour to an hour tops that morning. He wouldn't have been able to even hold his husband before he shifted, nor sooth his worries, though Eren did most of the soothing. As the night progressed, the temperature dropped. Eren nuzzling at Luca until Luca finally headed into the house, the look on his face clear that he'd be back out the moment the sun rose. Finally alone with his omega, Eren whined softly, calling him closer. Moving to stand between his husband's front leg and saddle, Eren shifted again, trying to rub against him in his own dopey way "How do you feel? Can I get you anything?" His mate had barely drunk any of the water he'd brought from the well for him. Shaking his head, he shifted shakily onto his stomach "Hey, are you close? You need to be resting" Whining, Eren rolled back, nudging at him with his leg "You want me to check?" Huffing like he was relieved Levi finally got the message, he placed his hand on Eren's side as moved towards his slit. He hadn't thought about adding to the glowstones on the outer side of the barn, and regretted that Eren had to give birth in the dark with all the light and warmth of the house illuminated mere metres away. The first thing he noticed was Eren's dick. He'd forgotten how massive it was in his dragon form, and because his husband hadn't exactly had it hanging out with the kids around "You're horny? Is that it?" Huffing and rolling again, that was definitely it. He shouldn't be as surprised as he was. Eren had been a horny mess during the first clutch. Sliding his hand down, he skipped his mate's neglected dick, instead running his hand along Eren's opening. With his hand so close and intimate, he could feel the almost back to back ripple of his lover's strong muscles "You're close... it won't be long now" Thumping his tail, Eren didn't want to hear it "I feel like you're trying to tell me that if I don't make you cum, you're going to use your breath on me" When Eren didn't reply, Levi laughed softly "I told you'd I'd give you whatever you want and need" Lapping and sucking at the soft flesh of his mate's clit, Eren's tail was thudding as he huffed and groaned, wriggling against Levi's mouth as the alpha thoroughly pleasured him, he knew by the weak way Eren tried to trust he was close, his rhythm shot completely and his pace exhausted yer desperate. With the kids taking up so much of their time, and settling in, making their home a home and organising the farm, then the random visits from Isabel and Farlan and few from Mikasa and Armin, and, Ymir, Historia and their girls, the only them time they really got when was the kids were sleeping or busy, and there wasn't space enough in their room for Eren to shift. He wasn't sure he knew what he was doing, but Eren was enjoying it, and his mate tasted amazing... so it was kind of a win. Sucking harder, Eren threw his head back hard enough to shake the barn, his dick spasming as cum gushed to join the wet puddle beneath the spent organ. Pulling back with a smirk, he tried not to laugh at his mate. His own arousal a smouldering mess he wasn't sure what to do with "Good?" Thudding his tail weakly, Levi's ego was stroked by the affirmation. Mindful of the puddle, he moved back to Eren's soaked opening, slipping his hand in deeper this time to essentially "finger" his dragon, he could feel their eggs, so close to being birthed but again there was nothing he could do but wait, hoping that massaging the muscle wasn't actually making it feel even worse for his exhausted love. It was about 2 hours later that Eren finally birthed their first egg, a long and pained whine as the emerald egg slowly slid from him. Levi wincing at the size of the thing, easily as big as Luca's egg had been at time of his hatching and enough to make him nearly regret impregnating Eren by accident. Setting the egg down carefully, the second that slid out in the connecting... grossness?... he didn't know what to really call the bloody mucus, was smaller and plain green. Exactly the same as Eren's lifeless clutch. His heart dropped as the third egg was the same. Eren panting softly, despite the pain Levi could feel through their bond. His mate was trying his hardest to be strong, though his lungs must be giving him grief with the cold air, uncharacteristic of a spring night. The rest of the eggs came much more slowly than the four. The 6th another brilliant green egg, freckled with speckles of grey across the surface, yet the rest remained an empty clutch until they reached the last, the 9th egg a smaller egg than the previous two, Levi nearly placing it aside with those that were lifeless until he noticed that it shimmered grey under the light. Passing the birth, it took his husband half an hour before he took his human form again. Wrecked and dripping with sweat, Eren was barely conscious as Levi gathered him into a thick blanket, his mate trying to reach for their eggs as nasty coughs began to bubble. Nuzzling Eren's hair, he was forced to make the call. Eren needed warmth now, and to rest somewhere that wasn't a dirty and disgusting barn "You did so good. Three good eggs baby. Three. I'm so proud of you. So proud" Carrying his mate into the living room, he laid him down carefully in front of the fire place, Eren crying out weakly as Levi moved away from him "I'm going to get out clutch. Our beautiful clutch, and I'll be right back. You want to see our clutch, don't you?" Nodding wearily, Eren's eyes were sliding closed as he did "I'll be right back, beautiful boy. I'm so fucking proud of our family" He was crying. He couldn't help it. Three perfect eggs. Eren had given him three more children. He couldn't be happier or prouder. Returning with their eggs, Levi placed them down beside Eren, rousing him by cupping his husband's face. Exhausted green eyes blinking up at him questioningly "I've got our clutch, Sweet Boy. I thought you'd want to see them" Needing assistance, Eren's eyes filled with the same love and wonder he'd have for both Viren and Luca "I am so proud of you. You rest my love. I'll clean everything up" Like Eren's blooded thighs and arse. He prayed some of Eren's magic had healed things down there, but as he moved his mate to make preparations, he found him torn and bloodied. Not quite as badly as Viren, but enough to make his heart ache. This time they'd wait. Eren would go back onto contraceptives, and they'd wait for the time they were ready for another child, if they were ever really ready. They'd never planned for five children. Five small mouths to feed and five tiny personalities they'd be responsible for the rest of their lives. Though Eren was happy now, there was no way to tell if he'd feel that way with nightly feeds, nappies and long nights ahead of them. He could only pray this didn't break his husband or send him spiralling into a drop or melancholy episode that he couldn't recover from. He could only pray that he wouldn't lose his memory further, and wind up another "child" to his husband. He was so fucking proud of Eren. So proud the omega was his forever. And so beyond proud and relieved that only three eggs had been viable. Despite the exhaustion he felt, his primary concern was still Eren. Cleaning Eren carefully and applying ointment to the wounds, Levi moved him from in front of the fire to their bed. A fresh kettle of boiling water positioned so the steam rose into Eren's face to ease his breathing and coughing. Outside the sounds of a storm had begun to rage, the day the perfect kind for spending in bed, even if that hadn't been his intention all along. With their clutch wiped down and placed carefully into folded blankets it sat with the other eggs Eren had birthed, across from the omega so they'd be the first thing he saw once he woke. The bleeding between Eren's legs had eased, yet each cough seemed to expel a little more, so he'd left the towel there, knowing Eren would be embarrassed once he woke. Settling down beside his husband, Levi couldn't take his eyes off of him. So in love he wasn't sure love described his feeling anymore. They'd been through far too much to make it here, yet there was no place he'd rather be for the rest of his life. He didn't miss the castle like he probably should. He didn't miss the people like he probably should. He didn't miss the riches like he probably should. This was all thanks to Eren. As long as he had his husband by his side, he could do absolutely anything. * Propped up in bed, Eren was tender. He was sore in all the wrong places, and he was exhausted beyond words, yet he was happy. Beside him Levi had fallen asleep holding his hand, his head resting on the omega's shoulder exactly how he'd been when he'd been talking softly with him over their clutch. Three eggs. Two painfully large and a smaller third that had him worried for their child, but all of which intact and that was the main thing. He'd unexpectedly birthed 6 more eggs, which was upsetting to see given they could have been potential lives, yet relieving as hell given three eggs was equal parts ecstasy and stomach dropping fear. Curled around their clutch was Luca, who looked as proud as Levi and Eren both felt. Viren didn't understand that mummy was tender, so his son was sitting in his lap, nearly reducing him to tears but he couldn't let him go. This was his family. His crazy hectic family that had just grown by three more. Kissing Viren's hair, his pup was nearly asleep too. When Viren has started crying Luca had led him into their room. Levi climbing out of bed to clean their son up after he'd wet the bed, then feed him before returning him all smiles and giggles, both of them handing Eren a glass of water which he downed gratefully. Listening to the rain against the roof, he hoped the small and quiet moment wouldn't end. This is what his mind needed far more than walls of the castle. A solid floor with no dungeons or cells beneath. A roof over his head and ridiculous over the top love and pride for his family. Levi was apologetic when he woke, quick to lift Viren off his aching stomach as he scolding him for not waking him earlier. His poor husband had had to suffer through helping him birth their clutch, he deserved some kind of medal for his patience. Or at least a long holiday away. Preferably one where someone would wait on Levi like Levi was him. He felt bad knowing he'd be even more useless until his body healed and his magic returned, yet Levi was acting like all his demands were completely natural. Like he hadn't turned into some kind of hormonal monster obsessed with his dick more than his feelings for the last month or so. He didn't deserve such a wonderful husband. Despite Levi warning him not to push himself, Eren was never great at bedrest. Insisting that he needed to get up, he stubbornly refused to admit the idea was terrible as he shuffled through the house to the toilet, regretting every life choice once he'd sat. He regretted it even more when it came to cleaning up then shuffling back through the house to the kitchen where Levi was preparing what had to be dinner by now. Refusing to let him help, Eren retrieved the note pad and pencil he kept for jotting down things they needed from town to pen his letters to Historia, and Armin and Mikasa. All three of them were going to be mad at him for going into labour early. Historia was excited to be there for him. Freya just as excited for him, writing shortly after they'd moved out of the city. She'd been amazing when he'd been forced to set foot in Marley again, then stay for the month in the manor he loathed so much in order to sort things with Asana and Onyankopon. Both wonderful people, but not quite sure how to handle him when each room held nothing but pain for him. Handing the throne over had been cathartic. To be finally free of its shackles completely had taken weeks to set in. Yet the thing that had truly healed his heart on the past was when Levi took him to visit Zeke's grave. His husband simply announcing one morning that he needed to borrow Eren for the day, then handed him a bouquet of red flowers that he "needed for when they reached their destination". Everyone had been so careful when it came to mentioning Zeke around him that he hadn't thought they'd approve of him visiting his grave, so for Levi to go that far for him, to let him sit and pour his guilty out to the man he'd been so briefly married to... he didn't think any other alpha in the world could do it. Keeping a distance so that Eren might have some privacy, Levi had told him he was proud of him once he was done, and to know that Dina hadn't disposed of Zeke like was garbage... he'd needed all of it. When he thought of the past, all he could think of was that it seemed like a dream now. He'd wanted so desperately to learn magic. He'd forcibly educated himself into a neat book induced coma so he wouldn't simply be a housewife. So he'd be an amazing mage that changed the future. He'd never thought he'd be here, being a housewife and being as ok with it all he was. He loved their little farm. He loved being simple and normal. He loved that no one stared at him or judged him, and he felt proud keeping their house organised. He wasn't living up to Erwin's wishes of him being Armin's advisor, but it wasn't like he wasn't Armin's go to man with most things. A letter between the castle and their farm only took an hour or so to arrive. Armin frequently writing back and forth a dozen times a day, sending eagle after eagle when Eren would take too long to reply. His friend having established the orphanage was well on its way had turned his eyes to Shinganshima. The place of so many painful memories for the three of them was to be rebuilt. Mikasa had led a small army to clean the city of those less than desirables, most driven to crime with the unstable economics, and most sent to work prisons on the west side of the island where the goal was rehabilitation and training. The not so hopeful side being that there were those past such methods. Armin had been forced to see his first hanging, something that had distressed them both greatly and ended up with Armin coming for a weeklong visit to get his legs back under him. Being the idealistic and loving fool he was, the block where their family homes had sat were to be turned into memorial parks. They could never take back those memories, but it felt right to remember the good times and to provide other people with similar happy memories there. Once the official opening came, they'd all be attending, but that was sometime away. The only thing Eren regretted was that he'd never known what happened to Grandpa Arlet's, his mother's or his father's bodies, and wasn't able to lay the three most important parental figures of his childhood to rest. Sighing to himself, they were all thoughts for another day and his instincts were demanding he return to his clutch, despite wanting to finish his letter and to help Levi. Jumping as surprise kiss was dropped upon his head, Levi then slipped his arms around him, resting his chin on the omega's shoulder "Everything ok?" "Mmm. Yeah. Just thinking about what we've been through to get here" "A metric fuck tonne?" "Pretty much. I want to go back to our clutch, but I also want to finish these" "Historia? And to Armin and Mikasa?" "Yeah... you should write to Hanji and then to Isabel and Farlan. They'll all want to know" Isabel and Farlan were considering moving out to live closer, but Armin didn't trust anyone else with keeping the game populations in check, begging them to stay an extra winter before they moved out to work remotely. They'd be living on the other side of the road that lead to Mitras, closer to thicker woodland once things had settled. They'd even found a cottage to rent from a farmer with a rat problem. Farlan hadn't seemed convinced, while Isabel was over the moon. Naturally, Isabel got her way. They'd be keeping the store in Mitras and dividing their time in a move Levi called "stupid" "They can wait. I'm making some clear broth for you, your stomach will probably appreciate it more than anything heavy right now" "You're amazing" "I'm really not" "You are. I've been thinking about it nonstop... I wouldn't be alive without you. I couldn't do any of this without you... I'm sorry I've placed so much responsibility on your shoulders" "You haven't. You're selling yourself short my love. Go rest, if our roles were reversed you would be doing all of this for me. I'll finish the letters and sign them from both of us" "Thank you. My instincts want to stay in our nest, but my mind..." "Is telling you to be an idiot by moving far too soon. Rest. We've got three beautiful children to think of, and three beautiful eggs to be proud of" Leaning back as Levi stood, Eren stared up as his husband's face with a smile on his lips "I love you" "I love you too. My omega. My mate. My husband. My dragon. My Sweet Boy and stubborn little shit" Snorting out a giggle, Levi silenced him with a kiss "Now go" "Yes, master" "Don't start that shit unless you want a whole other clutch" "Oh god. Nope. My everything down there is a big fat nope right now. I'm behaving" "That's a first" "It might also be a last..." "Gods give me strength. Why did I marry you again?" "My charming personality and wit?" Levi shook his head "No. It was your arse. Definitely your arse" Faking offence, Eren pushed himself up to stand, forcing Levi to move out the way before he was headbutted. His alpha raising an eyebrow at him as he tried to appear huffy "Do these breasts mean nothing to you at all?" Taking a moment to gawk at him, Levi covered his mouth as he laughed "Go to bed already, you shit. I'll be right in" "Good. I wouldn't want this arse to be lonely" Moving to hug him again, Levi was careful not to press against his stomach "Oh come here. You know I love every single part of you" "You're a god damned sap, Levi Ackerman" "Only for you" Kissing him gently, the shared three more before Eren broke off with a happy hum "Mmm. Best alpha ever"

[aliteraryprincess]

Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust

Warning: Contains spoilers

Welcome back to Fairy Tale Friday!  Today we’re going to take a look at the first “Snow White” retelling of this feature.  “Snow White” was one of my favorite fairy tales as a young kid.  Apparently I used to watch the Disney movie several times per day, and the illustrations for it in my childhood fairy tale collection (pictured above) were my favorites in the whole book.  

As a Retelling:

In terms of the elements of “Snow White” in this book, Bashardoust draws exclusively on the German version collected by the Brothers Grimm that we are most familiar with.  She doesn’t incorporate all the elements of the story.  Notable missing pieces of the tale are the dwarfs, the glass coffin, the poisoned apple, and the prince.  However, she greatly expands on the elements she does include and puts her own unique and interesting twists on them.

In the fairy tale, Snow White is the result of her mother’s wish for a child “as white as snow, as red as blood, and as black as ebony.”  Snow White famously has pale skin, red lips, and black hair.  Bashardoust’s Snow White character, Lynet, doesn’t have these specific features; instead, she is described as looking exactly like her late mother, who was very beautiful.  However, Bashardoust does keep the concepts of snow and blood involved in Lynet’s birth.  Lynet was created from snow and blood by a magician at her father’s request after the queen died.  Because of this, Lynet can magically manipulate snow.

The most important part of this story is the relationship between Lynet and her stepmother, Mina.  In the fairy tale, the relationship is wholly negative.  The queen is so vain that she immediately despises Snow White when the girl surpasses her in beauty and orders a huntsman to kill her.  Bashardoust’s Mina and her relationship with Lynet are much more developed and complex than this.  The chapters switch back and forth between the two characters, so the readers are able to see why Mina became the way she is.  Though Mina is very aware of her beauty and considers it the only way to get what she wants, vanity isn’t as strong a motivation for her as it is for the queen in the original story.  Her main concern is keeping the power she has as queen.  Though she ultimately does care for Lynet, she knows that one day Lynet will replace her, and the threat becomes greater and greater as the events of the plot continue.  At the beginning of the story, Lynet adores and looks up to Mina, but her feelings become conflicted when she realizes Mina has been lying and hiding her true self.  

Even though she is in the role of the evil queen, Mina is not the story’s antagonist.  Instead it is her father, Gregory, the magician who created Lynet.  We learn early on that he is a horrible and manipulative person when he reveals he replaced Mina’s heart with a magical glass one and claims she can never love or be loved because of it.  Creating Lynet drained his life force, so he plans to kill her and take her heart to restore it, which is a nod to the queen wanting Snow White’s heart (or her lungs and liver in some versions) brought to her in the original tale.  It is him, not Mina, who tries to poison Lynet.  There also isn’t a poison apple.  Instead, the poison is put on a bracelet Mina had given Lynet.  Gregory uses magic to create a double of Mina who then returns the bracelet to Lynet as a supposed peace offering only to be poisoned once she puts it on.  In the German fairy tale, the queen makes three attempts to kill Snow White using bodice laces, a poisoned hair comb, and the famous poisoned apple.  Of these three, the bracelet is most similar to the hair comb since they both take effect by simply coming into contact with the body.

Bashardoust also changes the way Lynet wakes up after being poisoned, though it still involves her love interest.  As previously mentioned, there isn’t a prince in this retelling.  Lynet’s love interest is Nadia, a young surgeon.  The prince in the original comes across Snow White’s glass coffin in the woods and is so entranced with her beauty that he decides to bring her back with him.  While they are walking, one of the men carrying the coffin stumbles and causes the apple to come out of Snow White’s throat, waking her up.  Bashardoust forgoes this and the perhaps more well-known kiss method popularized by the Disney movie in favor of a slightly more practical explanation.  Nadia switches the poison out for one that only causes a deathlike sleep.  Like Juliet in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, Lynet appears dead for a period of time but eventually wakes up.           

There is also a fantastic twist on the magic mirror.  In the German version of the tale, the mirror hovers between being an object and being a character.  It’s not human, but it does speak and is ultimately what sets the events of the story into motion.  Bashardoust plays with this concept and combines the mirror with the huntsman in the character of Felix.  Due to her magical glass heart, Mina can manipulate glass.  Soon after coming to live at court and setting her sights on the king, she creates Felix out of the glass in a mirror that belonged to her mother.  He is meant to teach her how to love so she can get the king to fall in love with her, though they ultimately fall in love with each other.  He becomes a huntsman to explain his presence at court and starts to become more and more human.  Despite this, he still retains some mirror qualities; he reflects the feelings of those looking at him.  It is him that Mina sends after Lynet when she runs away, though not with orders to kill her.  He does almost kill her since he believes it will be easier for Mina with Lynet dead, but as in the original, he can’t bring himself to do it.                            

My Thoughts:

I really enjoyed Girls Made of Snow and Glass.  I appreciate that the romance between Lynet and Nadia was kept secondary to the relationship between Lynet and Mina.  So many books end up dominated by the romantic relationships, and it’s always nice to find a book where that doesn’t happen, especially since the relationship between Snow White and her stepmother is so key in the original fairy tale.  And even though it is secondary, Lynet and Nadia’s relationship is very sweet and felt believable.  Plus I love finding LGBT+ fairy tale retellings!

I also liked the way Bashardoust structured the book.  The chapters switch between Lynet and Mina, and Mina’s chapters in the first half of the book focus on her past.  This worked really well to develop Mina, Gregory, and the king as characters and show the readers their motivations.  We also get to see the relationship between Lynet and her father at different points in time and from an outsider’s prospective.  If Mina’s chapters had started at the same point in time as Lynet’s, we would have missed out on all of this and the story and characters wouldn’t have been as strong.    

I do wish there had been a little more world building, especially in regards to the magic.  Lynet has magic because Gregory used it to create her and Mina has magic because he used it to make her a replacement heart.  That’s all explained and made sense to me.  However, we’re never given an explanation for Gregory’s magic.  Why does he have it?  How does it work?  I was also left wondering about the northern and southern halves of the kingdom.  The royal court is in the North, which has been cursed with eternal winter.  Nothing can grow there and food is imported from the South, which is warm and lovely.  Why would anyone stay there, especially the royal family who clearly has the means to move?  We’re given a reason that the current king doesn’t want to leave; his first wife is buried there.  But why didn’t any of the rulers before him move the court?  Questions like this aren’t really important to the plot, but they did sometimes distract me from the actual story.                 

My rating: 4 stars

Other Reading Recommendations:

The starred titles are ones I have read myself.  The others are ones I want to read and may end up being future Fairy Tale Friday books.  To keep the list from getting too long, I’m limiting it to four that I’ve read and four that I haven’t.  This was Bashardoust’s first book, so she doesn’t have more to recommend.  Hopefully she will soon!

Other Retellings of “Snow White”:

Fairest by Gail Carson Levine*

Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire*

“Snow, Glass, Apples” by Neil Gaiman*

Beauty by Nancy Ohlin*

The Fairest of Them All by Carolyn Turgeon

Snow in Summer by Jane Yolen

Dark Shimmer by Donna Jo Napoli

White as Snow by Tanith Lee 

About the Fairy Tale:

Sleeping Beauties: Sleeping Beauty and Snow White Tales from Around the World by Heidi Ann Heiner  

Have a recommendation for me to read or a suggestion to make Fairy Tale Friday better?  Feel free to send me an ask!

[aelin-and-feyre]

Circumstance (Part 15)

The last chapter of Circumstance is now finished and posted. There will be an epilogue sometime soon! Thank you to everyone who has read this and stuck with it and loved it just as much as I did, I made me so happy. I hope you enjoy this last part just as much.

Warning: There is slight ToD spoilers in this chapter, sorry

Tagging: @aelinxfeyre @vilya1 @a-courtof-fangirls-and-fanfics@autumn03@rhysandpurred @crazybookladythings @devilsadvocate15@marimarac @carolineherr15@musiccbeach @illyrian-wingspans @illyrianinterrasen@meowsekai@iwishitwasrocketscience @gavrielthelionn @bbyshadowbat @bluephoenix222@daughterxofxnight@highladyofthedark@sugarcoated44 @fandoms-things-stuff@helloprinceling @wolffrising @the-court-of-terrasen@gcarroll@throne–of-sass @rowanismybae @peachyyymeg (thank you to you wonderful people, I’m so glad you liked my fic enough to want to be annoyed by notifications every time I posted)

Fic Masterlist

Five Months Later

Cadewyn wakes wrapped in his mate’s scent. It is the same aroma he’d been enveloped in for the past five months, and the same one he’d fallen into a utterly peaceful sleep to last night, but now, with the scent clouding his mind and making a unsolicited smile brighten his sleepy face, Cade thinks the same thought he has every morning since he met her: that there is never a time in his life that he doesn’t want to wake up similarly cocooned. The sun filters in through the canvas walls of the tent and warms his face, awakening each of his limbs slowly. Delicate strands of golden hair tickle his nose, belonging to the female curled in his arms. Sounds of the camp awakening around them drift through the thin fabric of their structure, but Cade shuts it out for a few minutes more, enjoying the feeling of peace, even though he know it won’t last.

There is a battle today. They are scheduled to attack the enemy forces at high noon, when Aelin and Ember’s power will be the strongest. Cade’s arms tighten instinctively around his mate, nuzzling his nose further in her mess of hair, and thinking about what led them to this.

He hadn’t made it back to Velaris in time to follow his aunt’s silent instruction. His room had been found empty and cold, and it hadn’t taken long for Azriel’s shadows to track him to Terrasen. Ember had found his parents and their Inner Circle in the dining room waiting for them, but it wasn’t the ambush she was expecting.

Instead, the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court and the King and Queen of Terrasen had decided that they were going to war one last time. They were going to help their children secure happiness together, just as they fought for the same thing a quarter century ago. Brexton and Gusty, it turned out, had been the ones to step forward and convince their elders. Cade will forever be grateful to them.

Now, five months into strategy, planning, and brief battles, they are about to embark on the first combat strike that Ember will be unleashing her full power on, and will dictate who the winner of this war will be. Cade completely believes in her – with every particle of his body he knows that she will do amazingly, and that her ingenious plan will work, but he can’t help but feel nervous.

Emberlei shifts a little in his arms, groaning softly at the increasing noise outside their tent and the inevitability of having to awaken. Cadewyn runs a soothing hand down her flannel-clad back, letting his fingers graze her bottom. Ember attempts to bury her head even further into his chest, scrunching her eyes tight as she tries to cling to sleep. “Good morning, Kindling, are you ready to start a fire?”

His mate sighs reluctantly, pressing a kiss to the skin above his heart. “Remind me why we’re doing this again?” She grumbles tiredly.

A rumble of laughter escapes Cadewyn. “Because you love me and you never want to be parted from me?” He responds, half monitoring the rustling sounds of mounting armor and sheathing swords outside. They don’t have much time left to laze about.

“Oh, that’s right,” Ember replies with a soft smile. Her face tilts up so her sleep-ridden, gorgeous turquoise eyes stare into his, half a dozen emotions swirling between them. She shifts up a couple inches to press a lingering kiss to his lips. Cade’s eyes slip closed at what could be their last embrace like this. The princess senses his thoughts as she pulls away, her fingers threading with his. “Are you afraid?”

“Yes,” Cade answers honestly, even though there isn’t anything to really be scared of. Sure, they are facing five different power nations from across the world who have teamed up against them. Yeah, they are only twenty years old and have only just found each other. And of course, Cade isn’t sure what he would do if he lost her. But it is irrational to be afraid, to be anything other than swift and sure with each maneuver they make from this moment until the end of the battle that’s about to begin. “Are you afraid?” He asks, one eyebrow quirking up in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“No,” she says the word so easily, that he almost believes her. With a defeated sigh, Ember rests her brow against his own. “I am Emberlei Whitethorn Galathyius and I shouldn’t be afraid – but I am.”

Her fingers grapple for him, pulling his body tightly against her as she tucks her head under his chin, as if she never wants to leave his embrace. Cade holds her tightly, savoring this moment, committing it all to memory, as he has with everything the past five months – war-ridden months, but the happiest of his life. “I wish we’d had more time.” Cade murmurs into the crown of her head. He feels a slight wetness leak onto the exposed skin of his chest, Ember pressing her lips against his collarbone as she tries to regain her composure. “But I suppose if this was all the Cauldron blessed me with, I will live and die happily knowing that I got to know you, my mate – my own Fireheart.” His use of the name he heard Rowan calling Aelin last month seems to set Ember straight.  

The princess in his arms readjusts so she’s looking into his eyes. “I love you,” she whispers in the growing light of morning. Already, flames dance in her eyes as the power she has been spiraling into the last week is now just hovering under the surface. They hadn’t been able to do anything last night in fear of incinerating the entire camp. “Together?”

“Until my last breath,” his words are the sincerest he has ever uttered in his life. He would follow her to the ends of the earth – where no one knows of the Queen Who Was Promised, or Feyre Cursebreaker. Where there is no whisper of the treaty or the ‘Cursed Mating’ as their enemies have taken to calling them – calling what they had sealed between them just a week ago, claiming each other in a way no one can dispute. A final decision that they made together, and accept the consequences of to whatever end. “And whatever is beyond. We face this together. No matter the circumstance.”

...

“The plan is simple,” Cassian and Aedion stand before the gathering of friends and family, who have come together to fight this one last war, and show the world once and for all that they are not powers to be messed with. “Lysandra and I lead the Bane in the east,” as he speaks, Aedion points to the map spread before them, where they have plotted the territory and their plan of attack – or non-attack. “Dorian and Manon with their legion spread next to us.”

Ember turns in time to see Manon’s iron teeth slip out as she grins, Dorian’s hands flexing as he, too, readies his magic. She can’t believe they are here. The Queen of the Wastes meet’s Ember’s eye and winks. Ember supposes that Manon might just be hungry for bloodshed after so many years of peace and that is why she agreed to this.

“Azriel and I direct the Illyrians opposite them,” Cassian interrupts, nodding to his brother who scans the map with warrior’s intensity. “Helion and Lucien beside us.” Ember finds the High Lord of Day’s already watching her from across the room and she once again nods her head in thanks for joining their cause. Helion’s eyes twinkle and he smiles warmly back. She doesn’t think it’s thirst for blood that fuel’s his reason for being here, but rather love for Cade and his family, and the want for adventure. She is grateful for his help no matter the reason.

Aedion nudges Cassian aside a bit with a joking nudge to point to the center top of the hill they have picked to attack from. Her uncle looks up at her, eyes softening as he says, “Ember and Cade will be positioned here, Aelin, Rowan, Rhysand, and Feyre flanking them.” Cade’s hand squeezes Ember’s comfortingly next to her. She caresses the newly minted bond between them.  “The cadre will be interspersed through the ranks from there.”

Cassian nods his approval, the general and commander working in tandem with each other, almost fluidly after five months of strategizing. “If all goes well, not a single life has to be taken, and no one but Ember and Cade need to use an ounce of power.” He gives the two un-Settled Fae a roguish grin. “And if it doesn’t go as planned, well then the real fun can begin.”

Aedion shoots Cassian a disapproving stare, before shaking his head with a quiet chuckle when the Commander’s grin doesn’t falter. “We have five layers of attack after that, but we really shouldn’t have to go past Aelin and Rhys.” This time, it’s the Queen and High Lord who send each other sly looks. Ember has never been afraid of her mother, but it’s hard not to be a bit frightened when the Fire Breather and Darkness Bringer train together.

“And where am I in those five layers of attack?” The attention of the room turns to her little sister standing with her arms crossed and staring at the map with almost as much intensity as the shadowsinger. Brexton and his mate – a girl Ember has befriended the past few months – stand behind her, probably also wondering the same question.

Before any of the adults can shoot her question down and tell her she has to stay back at camp, Ember speaks up. “Gusty, Brexton, and Magdalene will be on the hill with me and Cade.”

Everyone now turns to her, and she can see their objections about to rise, but Cade beats them to it. “I agree, it will make me feel better to have them up their with us in case anything goes wrong.” He winks at the younger princess, sliding his arm around Ember’s waist and pulling her closer to him, as if he can’t bear to be more than a couple inches from her. Not that she is any better. Since they got out of bed this morning she hasn’t been able to part from him for long.

A couple of the adults grumble a bit but none of them contradict. “Finally,” Cassian calls the attention back to him. “Yrene will stand with Ember and be there to heal the main players if the shields fail.” The healer bows her head in acquiescence.

“Battlefield healing only, Yrene,” Chaol reminds from beside her, his cane next to him but remaining unused for now.

Aedion claps his hands and draws the Sword of Orynth. “We go to war.” He states plainly, meeting each person’s eye in the tent and then nodding to be dismissed.

Everyone begins to pick up their weapons from where they were discarded leaning against the walls, but Ember remains motionless beside Cade, watching the people around her who have agreed to fight with her – with them.

Aedion shakes Cassian’s hand, the two males nodding in respect for the other. “It has been an honor to serve at your side,” the general says.

“Same, brother, I would do it again in a heartbeat,” Aedion’s chest swells with pride at Cassian’s words, and they part ways to their wives.

Chaol takes Yrene’s slightly wrinkling hands in his own and kisses them tenderly, then walks out with her elbow through his, the cane dangling beside him. Manon runs a hand through Dorian’s greying hair and they share a smirk before also departing. Cassian kisses Nesta fiercely then smiles through her scolding and promises to come back to her. The female then takes Magdalene and Brexton in a tight embrace and tells them to be careful. Cassian slings his arms around Azriel’s shoulders and says some joke that makes the shadowsinger sigh in resignation as they exit the tent.

Elain and Lucien share a sweet moment, the former tucking a tulip in her mate’s lapel and telling him she expects it back safe and sound. Helion claps Lucien on the back and father and son head west together. Gavriel goes up to Aedion just as he and Lysandra part. The general hugs his father and they share a short but meaningful conversation before the shapeshifter pulls her husband towards the east. The rest of the cadre – Lorcan excluded as he and Elide stay in Terrasen – salute to Aelin and Rowan, then shift to bound to their respective positions.

With Amren and Mor watching over Velaris, only the people going up to the hill remain in the tent. Ember meets the eyes of Brex and Magdalene, then the High Lord and Lady, then her sister, her parents, and finally her mate. She holds Cade’s gaze for a few moments, and takes a deep breath. “To war.”

...

Cadewyn stands beside Ember atop the huge hill on one side of their chosen battlefield. Their enemy is powerful, diverse, and prepared. They have had 15 years to anticipate this attack, to plan for their defense and offense. Although Cade isn’t sure they were expecting this sort of turn out. Five enemy countries against the four most powerful full-grown Fae and their kin, along with a horde of Illyrians, a host of witches, and the armies of three different territories.

All Cade and Ember have to do is create a spectacle and not one life will be taken, not one ounce of blood drawn. The witch queen may yet be disappointed by the outcome.

With the sun beating down from directly above them, it’s time. “Whatever the challenge,” Cade whispers to his mate.

“No matter the circumstance,” Ember responds just as softly.

“We do this together.”

The future High Lord of Night and the Crown Princess of Terrasen take each others hands, staring deeply in the other’s eyes – the eyes that have kept them up for the past decade and a half, the eyes they fell in love with before ever knowing the person they belonged to – and let go of their power.

Oh, and what a spectacle it is.

Flames and wind and sun and shadows and water and ice, enough power to envelop the world and then some erupt from them. It spouts into the sky and depicts images of love and peace and well being. Both sides of the battlefield are silent as they watch in awe as the two powers perfectly entwine to portray how the two young Fae wielding it are not to be feared, but welcomed. To show that instead of destruction and invasion, they are the symbol of utmost prosperity and advancement. At least, that’s what Ember is counting on.

The power roils and twists and shifts above their heads before exploding into an array of colors and sparks and water and flowers. A cool breeze, courtesy of the young princess behind them, extinguishes the sparks and carries the flowers to enemy territory, where they fall gracefully across the standing army that is frozen with shock.

Ember breathes heavily across from Cade, her eyelids drooping as exhaustion takes over. Both of their powers are utterly spent, and if even an ember more was taken, she might be on the verge of a burn out. Cadewyn catches his princess before she hits the ground, and Gusty and Yrene are there immediately on the other side. They all kneel in the grass atop that hill together, Ember barely conscious, and watch to see what will happen next. Aelin has sparks flying off her fingers already in anticipation.

Just as they see a horse galloping through and breaking the enemy formation, Ember collapses into Cade’s arms.

...

Crown Princess Emberlei Whitethorn Galathynius of Terrasen wakes up to a dozen featherlight kisses being trailed up her body. Every single one of her limbs ache, including her head which is pounding constantly as it tries to focus on anything other than the feeling of the pecks lighting her skin on fire.

She distantly realizes that a body is hovering above her, hands braced on either side of her head as she groans and opens her eyes. Ember immediately closes them again against the blinding light coming from some infernal place she doesn’t care enough to pinpoint. A deep chuckle sounds from above her and she instantly knows that it’s Cade.

“Turn off your sun please,” she grumbles, squeezing her eyes shut. Cadewyn laughs again and the light shining behind her eyelids does indeed dim. Ember cracks open her eyes and sees her mate over her, his skin lit to a small glow as he smiles down at her. Suddenly, she remembers what happened. Sitting up abruptly, Ember knocks her forehead against Cade’s and they both yelp, the latter rolling off her so she can rise, unobstructed. “What happened?” She asks urgently, now leaning over him on their bed in the war tent. She’d probably been out for a few hours.

The future High Lord of the Night Court smiles widely, grasps her face between his palms, and kisses her soundly. “It worked, Kindling,” he murmurs against her lips. “They believe us.”

Ember parts from him and stares down, wide eyed. “Are you serious?” Cadewyn just nods, trying to pull her down to kiss him again. She pulls out of his reach, sitting cross-legged on the bedspread. “Tell me everything.”

Her lover sighs but his skin does not dim as he sits across from her and begins to explain what happened after she fainted. “A representative from one of the territories charged up the hill, our parents were ready to shoot him down but he was holding a white flag. He explained that his leader was moved to tears by our presentation, and rescinded their declaration of war and shredded their copy of the treaty. Four more emissaries from the others came shortly after, telling of things along the same lines.” Cade grabs her fingers, tears shining in his eyes. “Not one leader continued to fight. Not one.”

Ember’s heart feels like it’s about to explode. Even though she aches all over, she finds enough strength to pounce on her mate and tackle him into the pillows. He catches her with another laugh and accepts the kisses she starts peppering over his face.

“We can be together?” She asks, almost like she can’t believe it.

Cade nods, dragging his fingers through her hair while staring into her turquoise and gold eyes – the depthless orbs that started everything. “I think it’s time you finish ‘Violet Eyes’.”

Ember sits up, straddling his waist as she considers his words. “I think you’re right. Although I’m gonna have to change the name.”

Cadewyn traces his fingers over her sides, thighs, and arms thoughtfully, no longer intent on memorizing each part of her, rather content to take all the time he wants. “Hm? And what would the new title be?”

“Well, you know what truly occurred to me when our power was in the air?” Cade lifts an eyebrow. “None of this would have happened if I hadn’t come with my parents that day to the Leader Meeting. I never would have met you, we would have never switched places, and I would never have even written the song. It was all a trick of fate.”

“An aligning of crazy circumstances.” Cade muses.

Ember leans down to kiss him once more, letting herself enjoy the moment, the time they now have together – centuries of time. “I like that... ‘Circumstance’.”

A/N I know its such a cheesy and weird ending but I love it so whatever.

Masterlist

[commaeleons]

The ramble about bird!Dirk’s wings in The Price for Fire that literally no one asked for

but i'm up hours before my alarm and i’m having Feelings(TM), so here have some word vomit anyway sorry if i make you cry

So okay let’s talk about anatomy and motion and flight and how this all plays into Dirk’s narrative arc.

I mention in...chapter 4, I think? that despite having these massive wings strapped to his back, Dirk can’t fly. And okay the real reason behind that is that frankly I didn’t want to deal with the complications that allowing him to travel in three dimensions like that would involve, but as is so often the case, that gave me the opportunity to do some interesting things with him.

So, first of all: The in-universe reasons why Dirk can’t fly.

Reason number one: He doesn’t have a keel bone. Birds’ sternums are shaped very very differently from humans’ in order to support the flight muscles across their chests. Without that, Dirk’s muscular structure is literally incapable of flapping his wings strongly enough to carry his weight. Whenever Dirk does flap his wings, it’s as a slight boost to his jumps, usually to get him up to the lower branches of the trees.

(Note also that Dirk does not have hollow bones--except possibly in his wings; i haven’t decided--so he weighs substantially more than a bird of his size would. This is reason number two.)

Reason number three: Dirk’s skeletal structure severely limits his range of motion in his arms and wings. A bird’s wings emerge from the torso at the shoulder, and they have a fairly similar range of motion from that joint. Dirk’s, however, come out of his back. I have admittedly fudged this a few times already for dramatic effect (blah blah if he rolls his shoulders forwards in a certain way it opens up room on his back for the wing joints to move more freely but it’s not very comfortable so he doesn’t do it often i can make excuses all day), but at least in theory, he shouldn’t be able to bring his wings forward much past his ribs because the connection to his torso literally doesn’t work that way. When Dirk’s wings are relaxed, they don’t go sideways, they go backwards. (at an angle, but still.)

Then there’s the trouble with having too many limbs in a space that’s not really designed for it. I’m hand-waving the details here because tbh life’s too short to go on a dissertation about how the bones would articulate, but what I imagine is that Dirk has a second set of shoulder blades that support the wings, and his two sets of shoulder blades interfere with each other. So, in addition to not being able to stretch his wings forward, Dirk also can’t roll his arms back. Very much limited range of motion.

What this all means for Dirk

Basically, that his life sucks. He can’t use his wings to fly, they fuck with his ability to move his arms, they’re fucking heavy (there’s a reason Dirk usually keeps them folded up tight; the closer he keeps them to his center of gravity, the easier it is to support their weight), and oh yeah if he falls into a body of water they’ll get waterlogged and possibly drown him. (Most birds have oil glands, and they spread the oil over their wings while preening to waterproof them. The birds that don’t generally have specialized feathers that disintegrate into a powder that does the same job. Dirk has neither of these.)

On top of that, they’re really unwieldy and actually put him at a significant disadvantage if he needs to physically defend himself. Sure, he can try to use them to bat at whoever he’s fighting (like swans do), but again: He doesn’t have the muscular system that would give him real power behind those kinds of hits. Frankly, he’s much better off using his talons. But at that point, the wings are basically just huge weights that can easily be used against him because, like, if you’re trying to take Dirk down, all you have to do is grab hold of one of his wings and twist, and down he goes. Pin him on his front, and he can’t even use his talons. Game over.

And Dirk is very aware of this. It’s one of the many reasons he was so wary to interact with Jake when they first met. Like, Dirk was absolutely stalking Jake every day that he went out there, sizing him up and desperately hoping that Jake wouldn’t come back the next day. He only made his presence known when he determined that Jake was just not going to give this up and might, in fact, escalate if Dirk didn’t put an end to it. Coming down out of the tree at the end of that conversation was already a huge risk for Dirk, but he decided that if push came to shove, he could flare his wings, flash his talons, and startle Jake enough to get the space he would need to escape. (Dirk is very much flight over fight in this ‘verse. He’s not interested in taking down his opponent; he just needs to get away.)

How this plays into his narrative arc (aka that’s a hell of a symbolism no one thought was a symbolism but damn if it didn’t just get symbolized so nice job)

(okay so before i go into this section i need to admit that most of this was not stuff that i consciously planned for when i set out, but fuck it sure turned out this way and i love it)

So we’ve got Dirk with his big pretty wings and his tragic fucking past, and guys. Guys. It is the height of poetic irony.

Because wings are so often a symbol of freedom, but in Dirk’s case, they are very much the opposite. Even beyond the fact that he can’t fly, they literally limit his range of motion (anatomically) and his freedom to travel (because those wings are hella distinctive, and it would be all too easy for his past to catch up to him). They limit him immensely in so many ways.

Dirk sees his wings as ornamental, functionally worse-than-useless lies. And he’s not wrong.

One of the themes I play with in The Price for Fire (and for Dirk, especially), is that of deceptive appearances. We’ve got his “cozy cave” which turns out to be a sort of self-made prison; we’ve got this fantastical bird boy who turns out to be pretty much mundane, aside from his backstory and truly impressive anxiety; we’ve got those ember-bright eyes which turn out to be a subtle dig at humanity (“the price for fire,” indeed: you can have your fire, but it comes with the rest of this package); we’ve got his whole backstory where a blessing turned out to be a curse; we’ve got that beautifully decorated jar, which turns out to be...well, you get the point.

And we’ve got these gorgeous wings that make him feel ugly and trapped.

And Dirk doesn’t--can’t--take care of them like he should, because he was never meant to be able to. He was meant to be a disposable plot device; used and then tossed out. (How many other myths do you know of where the big P plays a role?) But his story doesn’t end there, and he has to struggle to find a reason to love himself now that the one that was given to him is gone--now that the one that was given to him turned out to be a venomous snake that poisoned everything about him that he thought could be good.

But he’s still carrying the weight of that disregard and that lack of care/love literally on his back, and it weighs him down. Disillusioned, he’s so cynical when this beacon of hope appears in his life and tries to convince him that there is something in him worth loving, that he can reclaim his beauty, his body, his life, his story and make it what he wants. And he wants to believe that’s true, but he’s spent so long knowing down to the core of him that he was made to be a trick, a trap, and it’s so hard to trust in anything when you can’t even trust yourself.

But he’ll get there.

And maybe he’ll even find a little bit of freedom.

i just fucking love this sad sad bird boy okay T_T