#currently still at the ''regretting all my life choices'' stage

[airenyah]

me at 8:30am when my alarm rings: *regretting all my life choices*

me at 9:30am when i'm waiting for my tram: *regretting all my life choices*

me at 10:30am when i'm sitting at rehearsal watching professional actors do professional actor things: *forgets everything bad in the world*

[magewolf-the-artist]

Domestic K-9: The Worst Pokemon Evolutions Ever

Oh boy, time to explore the ramifications of trauma and how it impacts people!

(Note: I do NOT have trauma or PTSD, although I've done a fuck ton of research on the subject for a different story and am applying the things I learned here. If anybody with any kind of trauma or PTSD spots any inaccuracies, please please PLEASE feel free to let me know. I wish to portray these issues with as much care and respect as possible)

So here I've display the three, I guess, stages of these fuckers. Life, the immediate response to, y'know, everything, and how they're holding up now. Except for Rosemary because I'm kind of an asshole to my blorbos. But obviously with Charles and Susan, they are not in any way "fixed" or even "healed" from their trauma, they moreso stabilized and got used to it. And now let's finally get into it!

SUSAN WOODINGS: So in life, Susan was generally closed off except for a select few amount of people and, while she could be snippy, she was actually pretty chill despite always looking like she wants to murder everybody in the general vicinity. Basically she looks a lot meaner than she actually is.

In death though, that's a completely different story. For the first year or so she had an EXPLOSIVE temper and would blow up over the smallest things, like a powder keg kept near sparklers. If the facility had a swear jar and money, she probably could've funded college for Sophie, Edd, AND Molly. She said many hurtful and cruel things to people she was close to (mostly Charles) that she now deeply regrets. It's all water under the bridge at this point but it still sometimes keeps her up at night.

As of the current point in the timeline, she's since calmed down quite a bit. She's less likely to snap over small shit unless it's Bon, to which she will gladly be just as bitchy as she was. She does have bad days though and is generally much more easily irritated and snippy.

CHARLES BROOK: In life, Charles is the ultimate dad. Easy going, friendly, very jokey, admittedly kinda naive, loves his kid. In death... well...

When they first got to the facility, he was an absolute wreck. He had resisted giving into Bon up until the point where he was starting to fade and, absolutely terrified of the idea of being Thanos snapped out of existence, reluctantly possessed the Boozoo animatronic. But even still he deeply regretted that choice. As well as that, he was extremely distraught about leaving his daughter and wife behind, on Lily's birthday no less, and that he was never found. He spent the first several weeks consumed by the intense misery and grief and was incoherent at best and delusional at worst. As previously mentioned, he got it into his head at some point that if he could just break down the walls, he could escape and constantly flung himself into the solid concrete walls. It didn't help that Susan wasn't terribly understanding and had little patience for this.

After a few weeks passed though, he began to stabilize and was generally able to recover a semblance of his goofy, friendly personality. That's not to say the trauma hasn't impact that though; he has to constantly distract himself or else he'll have a full on breakdown and desperately tries to change the topic whenever his death or his family is brought up. He and Susan have also since smoothed things over and Charles holds no resentment towards her now.

ROSEMARY WALTEN: Everyone's favorite sad mom!

So in life, Rose was generally kind, caring, humble, creative, and introverted, although she had come out of her shell since her younger years and was perfectly capable of being social.

But in death... hooooo boy, buckle up chucklefucks, 'cause this is gonna get SAD

As previously mentioned, Rosemary is a mess. Constantly crying, completely drawing into herself, rarely speaks to anybody but Rocket, and is unable to bring herself to do anything outside of draw, think, or cry. She's kinda just frozen in time, unable to stabilize like Charles and Susan, which is why she has no stage 3. The closest thing to that I can confidently say she's gotten is pouring herself into her art and caring for Rocket, but even still it's not much.

[senualothbrok]

A question about your "The Difference" fic, or at least a stray, errant thought I had.

How do you think Gale would react to the timeline possibility in the game where he became a god? Does he like that version of himself? Given where he is now, does he wish he were that version? Tara's disappointment? Elminster's letter? Will he do an origin playthrough with Mia to try and grasp the choices he could have made, or when he's homesick?

Hello friend! Lovely to hear from you 🥰 What a great question.

The version of Gale that we meet in “The Difference” is Professor Gale, who realised that he was enough as he is, who did not seek godhood because he realised, with some help from Tav, that he did not need to. He has come to terms with some of his deep rooted insecurities through that journey. This is a version of Gale who chose to leave the Crown at the bottom of the Chiothar, rather than returning it to Mystra. He still has the mark of the orb on his chest, but it's stabilised, because he is no longer being driven by restless ambition. He is content with himself, and no longer dependent on Mystra. Though he still has the scar, the orb is for all intents and purposes “cured”.

(This is a very rare ending that you can get in the game, and it's my favourite one.)

At this stage (chapter 7), Gale doesn't yet realise the timeline possibilities within the game. When he does, I can't imagine that he wouldn't be curious to find out how things would play out if different choices were made. I actually wanted to have him do an origin playthrough, I think that would be so fantastic and very in character - he would want to see and understand everything. I also think he would be very entertained by the romance element of the game (I had some scenes in my head of his reactions to Astarion's seduction techniques, for example 🤣).

I need to figure out where to slot these things in though 🫣 the challenge of this fic is that there are so many interesting scenes I could put in but haven't because I have to make sure the story still flows and tension is still maintained. So no promises, but I hope I can do it….

I do not think this version of Gale would like God!Gale. Because our Gale is at peace with himself and has come to terms with the insecurities that used to drive him, I feel like he would be able to tell how tragic an arc God!Gale is. He would recognise God!Gale’s power, of course, and he might have a little admiration at his home in Elysium. But Gale would also see that God!Gale is a betrayal of what Gale said he wanted to ascend for. God!Gale is indifferent and morally ambivalent, arrogant, and detached. Gale wanted to ascend to be a better god than Mystra, to help people, to retain his good, mortal heart. God!Gale loses all that. Gale would see that as a tragedy, I think.

Tara's reaction, Elminster’s letter, all of these things would just cement it.

Gale is currently unmoored because he's in a different world, but still holds to his multiverse theory ie that there are constants and variants ie that he is a constant, his form across universes may vary. Though his views of existence and self have been rocked, I don't think he would lose his values and so I think he would still see God!Gale in this way. I don't think he regrets his choices or the way his life went. He is still, within himself, at peace (though obviously he is confused as all hell).

What do you think? Do you agree? 😌

[frutavel]

i saw you tagged an oc named samaela on my post. who are they im curious. please share with the class 👀

(aka “i made that post about a character archetype i love and getting to hear about new characters that fit that archetype is literally the best case scenario for me”)

Oh hi for the love of god hello!!!

This is Samaela. My babygirl. I desperately wish I had more recent art of her to share, but alas I don't. A quick scroll through my blog also shows that Most of the posts I've made talking about her are also a few years old and outdated at this point but rest assured I think about her Constantly.

Samaela is a World of Warcraft OC, and also one of my oldest OCs in general regardless of fandom/universe. Long story short, she's a Forsaken hunter with little to no memory of her past life but Vivid memory of her death (by werewolf) and a history of making bad decisions in the name of Living Deliciously.

She was resurrected post Death By Werewolf, and the process caused her to Become Werewolf. Sorta. She's a weird little fiend and an abomination even by undead standards, which leads to her necromancer running All Sorts of Tests and Experiements. Now those aren't as bad or nefarious as they sound, really, but Samaela gets tired of being a science project pretty quick, so she moves as far away from her necromancer as she can, makes a few friends and enters a 2-ish year long situationship with her Boybestfriend, during which she indulges in many bad habits such as hunting living humans for sport and eating them, which garners her a reputation for being vicious and needlessly cruel. She regrets some of it sometimes, mostly she doesn't care, and gets off mostly scotch free because she's very good at weaving stories that paint her in a good light, and her folks don't like humans anyway. Which just emboldens her.

(Here seen with her Boybestfriend, Tari, my other babygirl, after a bad hunt)

Eventually her Boybestfriend has to leave, and she is Very Sad about it but they part amicably. Unfortunately having her voice of reason and only person whom she trusted in this whole wide world move away makes her Worse. She continues to be Very Good At Lying, but still ends up in trouble with the authorities a handful of times, some friends turn their back on her as a result and she makes self preservation her number one priority. This leads to a sleuth of Decisions which eventually end up putting the life of someone at risk, someone Very Important to her Boybestfriend, and once he finds out their relationship cracks even more. She jumps to anger and resentment straight on and continues to push people away and make more Choices, until her own life is put at risk and she's forced to rethink.

Currently she's at this rethinking stage. She doesn't regret most of the things she did, but she regrets the things that affected her personally. Empathy is a hard concept for her to grasp, but she's willing to make an effort for her own sake. At her core she still wants to survive above all else, and if that means letting people help her..... well, she doesn't like it but she'll think about it.

Samaela is Difficult, and she will never not be. She needs a strong support system to help her, but unfortunately the mere thought of letting her walls down and being vulnerable makes her sick. She is hard to get along with and harder to like.... but a handful of people have gone through the effort it takes to love her all the same. That's enough for now to keep her from spiraling more, but her fate is very uncertain. She has many amends to make and she's not exactly willing to make all of them, but her self preservation instinct is so strong it might as well push her in that direction even if just to keep herself alive.

Despite her many Ls she has many Ws. Women want her. Men fear her. She fucks hard and nasty. She makes dioramas in her spare time. She is surprisingly good at keeping people safe. She likes the color green so much she always has at least One green acessory on her at all times. She's not very good at swimming but still loves the beach. She has a gender that can be best described as Indescribable. Woman, but watch out. She can also pretty effectively communicate with her hunting dogs due to her mutations, and her insides are so rancid due to the Experiments that getting bitten by her in an immediate death sentence, and she is quite fond of biting. Because of this some have taken to calling her Plaguehound <3

As for her previous life.... well that's a whole other mess. All I'll say is that she has two living siblings, one who hasn't given up looking for her, but neither one would recognize her now, and it's unlikely she'd recognize them either. She barely remembers enough about her human life to know her name, much less about her family.

In fact, she has met her older sister in the past. It didn't end well for the sister in question. Dog fights are gnarly 💖

[wannaberp]

— WHO IS JUNG MINJAE?

she’s a TWENTY-TWO year old wannabe, born NOVEMBER 7, 2001. she’s currently undecided regarding companies and lives by the words “stars are born out of dark moments.

maybe you should learn more or ask her a question.

▶ PLAY THE CLIP [ dream_reality.mp4 ]

— ᴡʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ yᴏᴜʀ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ?That wasn’t the first interview of her life — nor was it one of the most original questions she could’ve ever been asked. Yet, it had still managed to stop her heart. Funny how, once, she would’ve been so certain about the answer, so quick in coming up with the words that had always been there from the start, her one true goal since she’d been old enough to dance in the rink. She’d sketched and dreamt of herself with an Olympic gold medal around her neck every moment of every day while growing up, at least until the moment all those fantasies had crashed down like the thinnest piece of ice.

 It'd been years since that day — years since the pain and the broken bones and the blood she remembered only glimpses of —, but she wasn’t so sure she’d already found another answer to give. Becoming an idol, though, had been the first ambition she’d allowed herself to chase ever since. It’d come as a lifeline during the years when she’d felt too lost to be found.

 "My dream?" Minjae started, her deep brown eyes focusing back on the woman in front of her as if she’d just came back to reality after the briefest trip in the depth of her mind. Whether truth or a makeshift lie were about to come out of her mouth, she knew the interviewer wasn’t going to care nor to notice. She hadn’t been in that world that long — she’d barely even started to peek through the peephole of it —, but enough to understand that most people only cared about a well-polished façade. In a sense, that wasn’t so different from all the fake smiles and pirouettes she used to do to enchant the judges. "I would say my dream is something more than standing on a stage or gaining fame. It's about redemption, I want to finally be able to turn my pain into something beautiful. »

Minjae had never been one to come up with the most poetic lines — it was one the reasons why she sucked at songwriting. But she had her moments, didn’t she? Opening up about her feelings during an interview was the last thing she planned on doing — and she was probably going to regret it a few moments later —, but Minjae was finally realizing just how much she herself needed to hear that. « You know I used to be a figure skater, right? The rink was my world, and then I lost it. And then I lost myself, too. » Enfant prodige had become a menace on the streets — she wasn’t proud of her past, but she wasn’t going to apologize for it.

« And then, one day, music has simply started speaking to me in a way nothing else’d ever done. Becoming an idol is not just a career choice for me, it's my chance to reclaim my identity and prove to myself and others that I can rise from the ashes. Like a phoenix, you know? » A chuckle escaping the girl’s lips, the stage name she used while dancing had always made her cringe, but the interviewer didn’t need to know that. Minjae knew it couldn’t have been anything different. She’d gone through fire, now she was trying to find her rebirth. To be someone and do what she did best — speak through music and dance, even without the ice under her feet.

[strawberries-and-apples]

Do you know about american poetess Sylvia Plath ? In The Bell Jar, she wrote a poem called “The Fig tree”. This is how it reads :

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.

This poem perfectly describes how I feel. There are so many things that I want to do, hobbies that I want to pursue, objectives that I want to complete. But I know that each day only has 24hours, I know that I can’t do everything I desire to do...

It hurts me when I see people who had it figured out. There’s a Korean girl group currently that’s extremely popular. I’m rarely envious about kpop groups because - usually, there’s always something I don’t really like about their music, their concept, or simply how their career is being organized, and I feel like if I was in the group, and had no choice or say in that matter, I would be quite upset no? But this group is different. Everything : from their music, to their choreographies, their clothes, their bond, their success... Everything is so perfect and enviable. And what hurts the most? These girls are teenagers.

They’re teenagers, and they’re living such a full life with so many memories. They get to form an incredibly close bond with girls their age, a friendship that could last a lifetime - meanwhile, I still struggle to get in touch with my friends I spent my entire childhood with once we graduated high school. 

I know I shouldn’t be jealous, or upset, but I am. I feel like my dreams are pale and boring in comparison. But what can I do? I can’t be reborn into one of them. I have to live my life, give up on this prospect forever and accept that the experiences they’re going through, will be locked away from me forever.

Of course, I know not everything is rosy and pink, I know that the reality is exhausting for them, it’s a job at the end of the day : but that doesn’t remove the bitterness I feel in my heart writing this. The truth is, I’m so unsure of who I want to become, so it’s hard for me to run full force towards a specific goal. Because I always look back, I always wonder what else I could be missing on, I always fear I’ll end up regretting it. And I’m young for now - but that will end very soon. And the looming pressure of time weighs over me, reminding me every second that there is a clock, somewhere, ticking. 

What else do I want to be ? An artist, a seamstress, a writer, a creator... A musician, maybe, an engineer, a politician, a businesswoman, a ballerina... I want to study Chinese, then Japanese, then Russian, then Chinese again, because I just can’t commit to anything, not even myself. I feel such profound shame and I know that someone happy and feeling confident with themselves would not feel such bitterness when seeing very young girls accomplish their dreams. But I do. And I can’t lie that, standing on a stage, having the entire world love you, validate you, tell you how much you’re special and how important you are to them, all of that may play a part... I am a selfish individual after all...

I just hope that when I read back on this in a few years, I won’t feel the same way...

16/04/2023, 9:07

#feminism #Sylvia Plath #jealousy

[meintwentytwentythree]

7/1

i realised living with elijah is quite restrictive - i feel guilty if i snack, wanting to keep it quiet; i can't stay up late because i'm afraid he will be angry with me if i do...

even when i want to stay up late to journal, i feel guilty. hence, the lack of proper posts the past few days. that and, school has really taken up a lot of my energy. i'm back to needing coffee everyday, or at least some watery milo from the coffee machine. ugh. i'm definitely getting 3-in-1 instant drinks later and bringing them to school.

today is the first day i get a little respite from my working, and i went to do my booster shot (4th jab!). i regret doing it today and not on a friday night as usual, cause i forgot how tiring and restrictive it was. i can't exercise for two weeks, i couldn't really use my left arm and i started getting those feverish body aches at night after service.

speaking of service, i finally confronted something today. ordinarily i wouldn't be able to, because i would be in public and it just doesn't seem conducive. but since i was home today, i was able to just go into the room. you see, Goodness of God is a favourite for the FCBC worship team. and i even chose it for my wedding, back when... things were better. but now, or rather ever since october, i've stopped thinking that God is good. in fact, i can't see how God is good. i KNOW He is, because it's a truth that has been instilled in me from better times, but right now i've been struggling to see His goodness.

and that makes me feel very guilty, because i feel faithless? i feel like God would be unhappy with me because i've stopped thinking He's good? i try my hardest to push away all thoughts that may cause me to feel pain and hurt, and maybe in that, i've pushed away thoughts of God's goodness towards me. if it's in the darkness where light shines the brightest, maybe it's in pain and suffering we can see the contrast of God's goodness and constant.

but anyway, so i went into the room and cried. sobbed, wept, sat in my hurt and pain. and in the midst of my pain, i asked God to come meet me. me, in my brokenness and my unfaithfulness, i wanted to experience God's presence the way i once did in worship experiences. i resented FCBC's worship because it didn't bring me to God the way ILC's did. He came, but not in the way i expected/wanted. My Lord came in the stillness, in a supernatural peace that even the world, in all its fury and chaos, could not touch. in that moment when my God stepped into my room, i ceased crying immediately. i tried to ask, why? why did i have to leave ILC, when E could just as well come. why is this choice so hard, and when will i stop hurting? an answer didn't come. i wasn't sure about God's reply too. when i felt better, i thought i was okay, i went out. but as the sermon went on, i started getting angry again. every time E seemed upset/annoyed at me, i started thinking again of how unhappy i am in my current life - there are good and bad moments, but at the core of my soul lies unhappiness because of my distance from my family, what i'm familiar with, my friends and community. and i don't know how to deal with it, i don't know when i'll be able to finally accept my new surroundings. i just checked the 5 stages of grief, apparently it doesn't happen systematically. grief is messy and raw, and anyone afflicted with it will feel equally messed up and raw.

i think i'm doing good by getting it all out, though. this is why i'm doing this daily (or at least want to).

[satanwritesfanfiction]

Sean Renard x f!reader || Lingering choice ×SMUT×

Title:  Lingering choice

Ship: Sean Renard x f!reader

Triggers: Smut, no bed, feelings, spanking

Characters: f!reader, Sean Renard

Wordcount: 2410

***

Your bare feet moved across the cold floor, satin robe clinging to skin. Choices, that's all life was and you've definitely made some shitty ones, evident from your current living situation. The current lingering choice, however, was definitely on the stupid side. Stupid and cliche, he would never fall for it but even with this in mind, you searched the apartment for signs of life.

You found him hunched over his desk, still sporting a pristine suit despite the hour. His tie was loosened only slightly but other than that, perfectly how you'd picture him. You worried your lower lip, it was still a stupid idea. You stalked closer, footsteps alerting the man to your presence.

He said nothing at first which was slightly disappointing on your end. His eyes looked you up and down, making you feel a little open to interpretation until his attention fell back to his work scattered among multiple papers strewn across the desk.

"Did you need something?" Sean asked, voice even and seemingly disinterested in you.

It was an interesting way of phrasing it, you thought, you definitely had a need but whether he was willing to fulfill it remains to be seen. Under his protection and on his property, you had everything you could conceivably ask for and yet, you'd give away that protection in exchange for something more.. Primal, something only he could supply you with.

"Yes. " you stated firmly, as evenly as you could muster. The familiarity and awkwardness of the current situation mixing into an anxiety you rarely felt. The simple response lead him to glance back up at you as he waited for your demands but it wasn't something you'd like to put into words so clearly. So you moved onto the next stage of this stupid idea.

Your hands reached to the front of your body, fingers working the knot with precision and accuracy like you had done so many times before, the robe tumbling to the floor and pooling at your feet, leaving you only clad in your favorite pair of underwear.

His gaze lingered, you focused on your breathing under his scrutiny. Too much value derived from his acceptance you realized once again. He forced his eyes back to the papers in front of him, finger dragging over the edge of one in hopes to distract himself. "What do you think you're doing?"

You moved a few paces, standing in front of his desk now. He still had to feel something the way he allowed you things, the way you stayed, how he didn't immediately shut you down. A small smile lingering on the edge of your lips as you leaned over the table, propped up by your hands on it.

"Now, I thought the display was pretty obvious, Captain." you stated, emphasizing the last word.

He sighed as he got up from behind the desk, walking around the table so he was standing in front of you, hands placed on your shoulders when he spoke. "You don't want to go down that road again, (Y/n). You know what happened last time..."

You frowned for a moment, taking aback that he didn't immediately accept you serving yourself on a platter for him. You took a breath before looking up at him, taking his tie between your fingers. "That road.. Happens to hold my fondest memories." you responded, perhaps a little defensive. You looked down at where your fingers played with the tie before meeting his eyes again. "Do you regret it then?"

He took a breath. He knew it wasn't a good idea to encourage this line you were both treading and yet, he still lingered.

"No, but you know how it always ends. "

A small smile lingered on your lips, such power in knowing he didn't regret any moment you spent together, that in the end the good had to outweigh the bad. You bit into your lip as you fixed his tie.

"Worries for another time, Sean." you stated, taking firm hold of the tie and taking a seat on his desk, prompting him to follow as you did. "Tonight, I'm just asking you to fulfill a simple need. You can always say no... But you want to know what I think?" you said, spreading your legs a little so he could find his place between them. "I think you want this this just as much as I do."

A few seconds marched by, punctuated by the slam of your heart against your chest and for a moment you thought he might actually surprise you and walk away but then he took your face in his hands and pressed his lips firmly to yours. You smiled into the kiss briefly before diving back in, like being lost in the desert without knowing it to suddenly drowning, gasping for air in a sloppy display of teeth and tongue.

His mouth made a descent down your neck, open mouthed kisses on sensitive skin and you tilted your head back, allowing the man access to whatever he desired.

"This what you want?" he spoke against your skin, hand at the base of your neck and keeping you near him.

You bit into your lip only slightly. "You know what I want... But I'd say its a start. You know you don't have to hide it from me"

You felt him smile against your skin, feeling the change beneath his skin, hands slipping down your body and resting on your hips. "You're incorrigible... But I'll play."

The words barely left his lips before his grip tightened, flipping you over with such ease. Your legs buckled in the process, hitting the desk, a cry slipping past your lips. He pressed your chest into the desk by the hand that he slipped into your hair, scattered paper underneath you seemingly losing its value for the moment. You felt a firmness pressed to your backside as his free hand moved over your back gently and then it stopped just at the dip of your ass, the smack playing against the walls of his office.

You gasped at the contact, biting into your lip as you spread your legs a little more as you moved through the sting it caused. Another sharp smack landing against your skin, a sound slipping past your lips, feeling yourself get wet under his movements.

You anticipated another hit but instead his body moved away slightly so he could move your underwear to the side, pressing his thumb to your clit. He bent over you, clothed chest pressing to your back as he spoke, thumb flicking your clit.

"That a little better for you, sweetheart?" he murmured.

"Yes." you breathed under his ministrations.

His hand stopped moving against your lower region, planting another smack to your thigh. "You're going to have to be a little louder, princess."

You closed your eyes. "Yes, Sean." you cried out and bit into your lower lip..

"Good girl." he responded, tapping against your thigh twice before lifting himself from you. Both hands left your body but you didn't dare move, feeling his fingers slip into the hem of your panties before pulling down, slowly. You stepped out of the material when it pooled around your ankles. His hands covered your legs, spreading over your skin as they made their ascent up your legs until they lingered on your ass, a firm squeeze as he admired the view he had from his position.

He stood, running a single digit through your folds and gathering the wetness there before pushing it into you.

"You're wet." he hummed, pushing the digit in and out of your cunt. It was really not enough to cause sufficient friction but definitely enough to grate on your nerves which had your hips pushing pack on him. "A little needy today, aren't we?" he chuckled lightly.

He removed his finger from you, letting you know just how ready you were for him to take you when you felt the emptiness it left.

He pushed the digit into his mouth, humming at the taste of you. "The one thing you don't think about missing is taste and yet it persists."he stated, promptly followed by the sound of him unbuckling his pants.

You bit into your lip, fingers curling over the edge of the desk as you waited to be filled by one of the few people who really pushed you, who knew you. You spread your legs a little more when you felt his hand placed on your hip, feeling something warm and blunt pressed against your cunt. He ran his cock up and down your folds, grip on your hip tightening as he did before he bent over your body once more.

"Ask me nicely, (Y/n)." he whispered. "Beg if you really want it."

You wanted nothing more for him to plough himself into you, feel him stretch you and use you. You knew he'd give it to you, give into you.

"Please Sean." you whimpered almost pathetically with his cock resting against your entrance, so close to feeling full, so goddamn close to having the itch scratched. "Please, I need you to fuck me."

"That's a good girl." he responded, pressing a chaste kiss to your bare shoulder before standing up straight, one hand on your hip and the other on his hard cock as he pushed into you, achingly slow he pushed until he could no more and was buried fully inside your warmth. You sighed contently at the stretch as he stilled, body quickly giving way to the welcomed intrusion.

The first movement was shallow, front of your legs hitting against the desk but nonetheless, you gasped at the action. He repeated the action once more before moving in and out of you, picking up the pace with every thrust of his hips. He held your hips as he entered you over and over, sharp thrusts that beckoned your cries, his name lingering on your tongue as you craved more of him.

His hand left your hip, taking hold of your wrist and dragging it behind your back and keeping it there as he fucked into you. You could a feel a bruise was going to form at the front of your legs by the way he was pushing you against the desk, not at all an unwelcome thought, a reminder for a few days would be a nice gift to send you off with.

Your entire body was on fire by the time you felt your release fast approaching, shock waves pulsing through each time he'd bottom out.

"I'm close-" you cried out, walls fluttering around his cock. You tried holding on, not wanting the moment to end, not wanting him to pull out of your cunt just yet but it was really not up to you with the way he held your body, way he controlled the movement, the way his cock moved inside of you.

"Come for me, (Y/n)." he grunted, thrusts only slowing for two counts, one hand letting go of you to rub against your clit. "Let me feel you squeeze my cock."

Your release came fast after that, walls clenching around his cock, pleasure running through your body as you submitted to the feeling.

"That's it, sweetheart." he grunted though his pace didn't slow down. "So fucking tight." his hand landed against your thigh again, the sound reverberating as he sloppily thrusted into you until he stilled, pressed deep into your pulsing heat when he released with the sound of your name.

The sound of catching your breath lingered in the air as he filled you with his seed. You whimpered when he pulled out of you, a sudden emptiness as your combined liquids started leaking down your thigh. He turned you around so you were back to sitting on the desk, some of the paper underneath definitely needing to be trashed. You were clad in only your bra while he hadn't really physically removed any of his clothing. He removed some of the hair out of your face in a gentle gesture. It wasn't fair given the weakness it caused to your heart.

"I'll get something to clean you up." he spoke softly, all firmness gone from his voice and expression. His hands left you and he walked out of the room, returning after a few moments with a warm cloth. He pressed it to you, working gently against your sensitive cunt to clean all the remnants of the deed. You watched his face as you did, the thoughts the action brought had trapped you. Unresolved feelings and thoughts. You had some bold words to say before but now it felt stupid, especially how small and weak you felt for needing his approval, his attention, his care.

"Do you really think it all ends in tragedy for us?" you asked, voice hoarse.

His eyes met yours and expression looked more sad and then he sighed, his movements stopping as he regarded you. His eternal weakness. If only he could let go of the things you made him feel, of the attachment he has grown to crave.

He placed his hands on your thighs. "I think everything involving you is complicated."

You nodded, looking down. You couldn't really fault the man for the answer, just look at the current situation you got yourself in... Just look at every choice you made at every step. It couldn't be easy for him but it still brought a sting to your eyes knowing that even when he's forced into such close proximity, it all was still such a dead end.

He placed his hand under your chin, forcing your glassy eyes back up at him. "But I can admit, they're not without merit, (Y/n). I'd make the same mistakes again and again if only you asked me."

There was a moment of silence between you both as you looked into his eyes, wondering if it could be true, if you really deserved to ask that of him in the first place. He excited you and made you feel safe but could you hope?

You pressed forth, hand curling around the base of his neck as you pressed your lips to his, pushing your fears and hopes into that small action. Perhaps there wasn't any hope for people as convoluted and broken as this, maybe there was only heartache and destruction of self and each other, but he was still willing to live through that for a moment, regardless of cost. Perhaps that was enough.

[dreamkidddream]

Hii, can you do Scenario 5 with Lucifer? I hope I’m not asking for a lot today, thank you though!!

Aw no this request wasn’t a problem, it was fun to write! I can just see him sitting all smug 😏while MC is just 😰 reader is gender neutral!

SN: I might go back and add a bonus section 👀🤸🏽‍♀️

Warning: Lesson 16 (VERY minor), 25 & 26 spoilers (all minor, but still wanted to put it just in case)

Prompt Scenario: “Person A and Person B go to a fair/amusement park and Person A wants to go on the roller coaster and Person B agrees. Later, Person B regrets their decision and ends up clinging onto Person A for dear life.” with Lucifer!

You’re starting to regret this decision.

No forget that, you’re starting to regret LIFE.

The carnival was back in town, and without having to worry about finding an illegal gambling ring popping up, Lucifer wanted to have an actual date with you. He wanted to spend time with you without having to worry about his brothers meddling in or having to do anything for Diavolo. So when the opportunity arouse and he *GASP* miraculously finished all of his paperwork early, he wasn’t going to waste another second. He stole you away before anyone else had a chance to, ordering you to get dressed and to meet him downstairs in an hour, and to not let any of his brothers (mainly Mammon) distract you.

While he would prefer taking you out somewhere like Ristorante Six or even to the new stage play, he was fine with taking you to the pop-up carnival. Seeing the way your eyes shone as you rambled about how excited you were to experience this for real this time without being stuck to the second born convinced him that those plans can be saved for later.

Had it been someone else, he would have been irritated, but he suppose that it’s fine if it means to see your infectious smile.

Not to mention how much he’s enjoying you clinging onto him for dear life.

He tried to warn you about this ride, to convince you to ride the Ferris Wheel once more, but being the stubborn human that you are, you were determined to go on this roller coaster. While he personally enjoys this ride whenever he does choose to indulge, even he knows how intense it can get (not that it phases him, if anything it drew him in more).

He did express about wanting to ride it when you both first arrived, but quickly rejected any talk of going on it. If other demons and even his own brothers tense up at this coaster, what do you think it can do to a mere human? But you just shook your head, claiming how you have rides like this back at home, and how this is nothing to you.

You weren’t going to chicken out now, especially since it was something that actually peaked Lucifer’s interest (no matter how much he tried to hide it). You wanted him to have fun too, and if getting on this would help him loosen up then you’ll do it!

Head held high, you oh so confident stepped into the cart and dragged him next to you, even going as far as mocking him.

“If you get scared Luci, you can always hold my hand.”

He narrowed his eyes and just shook his head, “Just remember I tried to warn you.”

Which lead to now: you curled up in his side, having a death grip on his arm. With him looking so smug, chuckling more and more as he felt your grip tighten. The fact that he’s sitting relaxed, like he’s in his study listening to classical music with a glass of Demonus, is a sight that both pissed you off and reminded you who exactly Lucifer is.

While he’s a softie underneath his intimidating facade, he’s still just that. Intimidating. Stuff that would traumatize you wouldn’t even phase him, prime example being now.

You hated this, oh you hated this, but you could stick it out just for a little longer-

After another loop, feeling the flames lick at your face, and seeing some type of creature that you’ll probably be seeing in your sleep for the next month, you wanted off. Now.

“Hm, how the tables have turned.”

You wished that you couldn’t hear him right now, that the wind or even the other passengers would help tune him out, but you weren’t that lucky.

You couldn’t even fully glare at him as you nearly jumped into his lap after a violent jerk of your cart. You would have been even more embarrassed and mortified but an animatronic jumped out and you screamed so loud, you would not be surprised if you burst Lucifer’s eardrums’ along with yours. You didn’t want to be a killjoy, but this was way more than you expected it to be, and you are regretting all of your life choices at this point.

“Are you frightened MC? You know that you can always hold my hand if you are-“

You didn’t even hesitate to grab it.

——

Well that was probably the worst experience in your entire life. It’s up there with the attic incident, that’s how scarred you are from this.

“Do you need to sit down and collect yourself, MC?”

“NO! I-I mean, no. I’m fine, let’s continue. The night is still young-“

“You’re shivering and look like you’re about to faint.”

“Lucifer, I’m fine-“

“We’re sitting down”, he walked you to a nearby bench, and gently sat you down. You didn’t even realize that you were shivering, and you can’t tell if it was because of the breeze setting in or because of how petrified that ride really made you. You felt a weight on your shoulders, and felt much more cozier and warm.

He gave up his fur coat, and never let go of your hand after the ride.

“I told you that we shouldn’t have gotten on. Why must you be so headstrong?”, he just shook his head at you again. “There’s always a need to prove something with you. I’ve already made a pact with you, what else is there to prove?”

“I’m not proving anything to you, I just wanted to make sure that you’re having fun too. Did you atleast have fun on the ride?”

“While it was very satisfying having you in my arms, I rather it be when you’re not terrified and on the brink of tears.”

“Hey I wasn’t about to cry!”

“If you say so”, he rolled his eyes. His gaze turned serious, “Seeing you enjoy yourself makes me enjoy myself. Seeing you happy is enough for me to have a good time. And I know you did not like the ride, and do not try to lie to me and say otherwise. I am not a fool MC.”

You felt guilty, you were so wrapped up in trying to prove to yourself that you could handle it when you knew you couldn’t. You just wanted Lucifer to have a good time too, since he rarely had the time to loosen up and not stress about other concerns. You didn’t want it to just be about you, you wanted it to be about him too.

“I didn’t mean to ruin this, Lucifer”, you just felt stupid now. “I messed tonight up, and we already rarely get to go out with just us. So I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise-“

“MC”, he lifted your chin up, and made no room for you to escape eye contact. “Tonight isn’t ruined, far from it. While it may have put a damper on things, you still had fun earlier correct?”

Flashing back to him winning you a stuffed animal (a peacock, no surprise), sharing laughs and a Devildom version of cotton candy, exchanging kisses while overlooking the Devildom night sky from the Ferris Wheel unknowingly brought a smile to your face.

Okay, so maybe tonight wasn’t a complete bust.

“Yeah, I did.”

“So the night is far from ruined then. Did you expect me to take you out and have it end on a miserable note?”, he tutted. “You think very low of me, I see.”

He took on a teasing tone, which made you giggle. “Of course not. I wouldn’t expect the Avatar of Pride to have this night turn sour and not have a way to turn it around.”

“Besides, your current offer still stands. You wish to make it up to me, and I have just the perfect solution.”

“Hm, already?”

“Of course. After all”, he leaned in, devilish smirk adorning his face.

“The night is still young, is it not?”

[tommysparker]

Never Forget You [Chapter 3]

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Jedi!Reader

A/N: hey y’all! thank you for your patience with this chapter. enjoy!! :) [also totally didn’t have this in my drafts then forget to post earlier pfftttt whaaaatt?]

Warnings: angst with a tiny amount of fluff. anakin finally makes his debut in this series. it gets better just stay with me. long italic paragraphs = flashbacks

Anakin Skywalker had witnessed many things over the years. 

Giant beasts? At least once a week. Sith Lords? Becoming too common. Droid armies? All year long. Looking death in the eye? Simply another day in the life of a Jedi. 

Nothing could ever have prepared him for the sight he was currently witnessing. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi, his Master, The Negotiator, the Jedi Council’s most prized Jedi…sulking.

It has been a full week since You returned to the Jedi Temple and Anakin couldn’t help to think his former Master’s mood and your arrival were connected. He was vaguely aware of your past friendship, only hearing bits and pieces of the adventures you had together as Padawans. 

During his days under Obi-Wan’s apprenticeship he would often hear about how “a wise Jedi I once knew” would do certain things. He wanted to know more about this oh-so-great Jedi, however, any time the young boy asked his Master would always brush him off with a mournful look in his eyes.  

He didn’t understand at the time but now he’s beginning to piece together that perhaps there was something more between the two of you. 

“You think Master Y/l/n and Master Kenobi were courting?” 

“Keep your voice down, Snips,” Anakin hushed.

“Sorry, sorry. But Master,” Ahsoka lowers her voice, “what led you to that conclusion? I’ve hardly seen them together since Master Y/l/n came back. What makes you think they could be lovers?” 

“That’s just it, Ahoska. They’ve been avoiding each other like the Rakghoul plague. Obi-Wan told me they were such good friends, and now that they’re back they can’t stand to be in the same room as each other? I don’t buy it.” Anakin looked back to where Obi-Wan sat with Commander Cody, no doubt brainstorming new battle tactics and liberation plans. 

“So what do you suppose we do? Set them up or something?” The look her Master gave her made her regret her words the moment they left her mouth. 

“Come on, Snips. It’s a good idea. We get them to stay in the same room so they have no choice but to confront each other and talk things out! It’s genius.” Anakin smiled, his eyes still on his former Master. He had a feeling if Obi-Wan were to find out about this plan he would be in for a major lecture but he couldn’t bring himself to care at the moment. He couldn’t stand to see the old man look so miserable, not if he can do anything about it. 

Ahsoka crossed her arms and followed her Master’s gaze. Something was clearly different about her Grand-Master. He had put his full attention into ending the war, which wasn’t new. However, she could tell something was off. He no longer came out to the landing zone to greet returning fighters, stayed away from the meditation and training centers as well as the Jedi Archives which was the most off-putting observation considering that was where he spent most of his time.

Anytime someone needed to find Obi-Wan Kenobi, the first place they would check was the ancient history section of the Jedi Archives. 

“I don’t know why you find so much interest in these old books Y/n/n,” Obi-Wan complained from across the table. “Can’t we go practice our lightsaber skills instead?” 

You smiled. “Nuh uh, mister. If I won the wager you promised to sit with me during my reading time. Now shush, and read.” You pushed the unopened textbook toward the pouting Padawan. “Maybe you’ll actually learn something.” 

Obi-Wan stuck his tongue out in a childish manner, sighing dramatically when you gave him a certain look and reluctantly opened the cover and began to read Tales of The Old Republic. 

Safe to say from that point onward, Obi-Wan would join your daily Archive visits with zero complaints. 

You close the book, careful to make sure no pages fell out and gently push it back into its place on the shelf. Using the force, you carefully push the ladder you were currently standing on over to the next column and begin nitpicking through the array of old texts. 

It took a few days for you to settle in and readjust to the Jedi Temple life. Once you had, however, things quickly took a turn. 

Master Yoda requested that you help train some of the younglings who were having trouble advancing into the next stages of becoming a Jedi. In all honesty, you much rather have had the freedom to roam for at least one more week, but the new role presented an excuse to not be around a certain blue-eyed Jedi. 

“Looking for something?” 

The voice startled you, causing you to jump and lose your balance on the ladder. You yelp as you begin to fall towards the ground, bracing yourself for the hash impact and the bruises that would add to the collection on your side still currently healing.  

Instead, you feel a pair of arms catch you, one under your back and the other behind your knees in a classic bridal style. The hold felt secure instantly, and you instinctively clung to the tunic of your savior. You look up to thank the person for preventing any injuries, but the blue eyes staring back at you made your mind go blank. 

Obi-Wan stared back, unsure of what to say. This was the closest he has been to you since you left a decade ago. He longed to have you in his arms, to hug you, to regain that safety net you provided he knew he could always fall back on.

“Um...thank you, General.” It came out as more of a question, your mind still reeling from almost falling and also the fact that the man who you had been actively avoiding just happened to be in the same place you spent hours of your youth together. 

“Obi-Wan, please. No need for formalities, darling.” The old nickname slipped out, and he was about to apologize when he noticed the light blush that spread across your face. Perhaps not everything about you has changed. 

“Right...Obi-Wan. Well, I’ll be on my way then,” You rushed, trying to pass by him but he stopped you once again by the call of your name. 

“Y/n/n’s wait. Whatever game you’re playing, frankly I am not a fan of it.” Obi-Wan crossed his arms and furrowed his eyebrows. 

“What are you talking about?” You turned around and looked at him confused. 

“You were the one who summoned me here,” he stretched his arms out, “here I am and now you’re trying to run away again. I hardly think that’s fair.” He was beginning to get frustrated. He came in with his heart on his sleeve, ready to finally talk to you after so long and find out why you’ve been keeping your distance. Now, all he felt was betrayal and irritation at the ongoing dance you insist on doing around each other. 

He preferred to dance like you did in your youth, but alas this was nothing but another sign he needs to get mind out of the past.  

You scoffed lightly. “Again? What is that supposed to mean exactly?” You knew exactly what he meant, but you didn’t want to admit it. You’ve been denying it for ten years and Force be damned if you’d admit it now. 

“You’ve been avoiding me since your return--” You open your mouth to protest but he ignores you and continues “--and then you send the youngling to bring me here, only to try to flee upon my arrival,” He frowns, lifting his elbow and resting it on his remaining crossed arm. “I know our history can make things...difficult in the present time,” He glanced around cautiously as he spoke,”but I would appreciate it if we make an agreement simply to not speak from now on. No more games.” 

You blinked, head tilting slightly as you waited for him to finish. “Obi-Wan, I didn’t ask for you to come here. Nor would I ever involve younglings in personal matters.” He should know that, you thought. But should he really? 

His face fell from annoyance to embarrassment, his arms falling to his sides. “Oh.” He wasn’t sure what to do now. It was his own fault for getting his hopes up. I should have known better. 

You purse your lips and nodded slowly. “Well, I’m glad we at least came to an agreement. Goodbye, General Kenobi.” You took your leave, forcing yourself not to look back as you felt his eyes watching your figure. 

Obi-Wan let out a frustrated sigh, knowing he just ruined any and all changes of reconnecting with you. In his defense, however, you were the one avoiding his attempts at friendly conversation and refusing to meet and make up for lost time.  

Still, something didn’t feel right about this. 

“What the kriff was that?” 

Ah, there’s that something. “Anakin, please tell me this was not your doing.” 

Anakin smiled guilty, Ahsoka coming out from behind the bookshelf to stand next to her Master. 

“It was Snips' idea.” Anakin shrugged, flinching when he felt her punch his arm. “Ow!”

“You were the one who came up with the plan, and now look! Master Y/l/n and Master Kenobi will never get together--” Ahoska stops herself, realizing she said too much. “Oh no.” 

“I beg your pardon?” Obi-Wan looks at them both incredulously. “First of all, Master Y/l/n and I are simply…” he wanted to say friends, but even that was a reach at this point, “acquaintances. We knew each other in the past, and in the past our friendship shall stay. As for ‘getting together’, you both know very well any implication of that goes directly against the Jedi Code.” He crossed his arms tightly as he scolded. 

“I can tell you harbour feelings for them, Obi-Wan. You don’t need to lie to us.” 

“Whatever feelings I may or may not have for Y/n are unrelated. You must understand your responsibilities as a Jedi. No matter what emotional sacrifice we must make.” He made a point to look at Anakin at the end, knowing he won’t follow the implication but at least hoping he’ll get the message.     

“We’re sorry, Master.” Ahsoka looked down in shame not at what they had tried to achieve, but at the cost and clear damage they caused. 

Obi-Wan sighed, running a hand over his beard before resting it on her shoulder. “It’s alright young one. You meant no harm. Perhaps some things are better left forgotten.” 

Oh, if only it were that simple. 

A Padawan approached the three of them quickly. “Excuse me, Master Yoda sent me to tell you he and Master Y/l/n are waiting for you all in the council room.” 

Of course, these things never are. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

heres a box to put your heart pieces in  -> []  :) 

Taglist: @queenariesofnarnia @dwarfplanet69 @katsukink @blondekel77 @generousrunawaydonut @fandomtrashwhore @fortheloveofaqueenfan @mrskenobi19 @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @hotleaf-juice @emiijemii @neji85 @doctor-warthrop @ayamenimthiriel @lizzy-95 @lovelylostminds 

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Banana Bread - IUI

This was choice number 2 for the 2k poll! These are some high stakes fam I’ve been threatening this for a minute. I really hope it doesn’t disappoint lmao.

Warnings: i mean its IUI - tattoos and stupidity are in the brand, alluding to Jaskier’s past shitty relationships, nothing harsh though, big softies and big cries

_________________

Geralt got up early to get things set up and hidden so Jaskier wouldn’t see the tattoo machine before he went to work. He even made his boyfriend breakfast so he wouldn’t have time to mosey around their flat and happen upon it. He’d had three hours to practice before a shift at the bar, then probably two hours after that to practice and clean up before Jask got home from his last appointment of the day. 

Yen had been teaching him how to tattoo on bananas. 

He’d had to bake a ridiculous amount of banana bread because of the fruit choice and he regretted not getting oranges to just make juice with when he was done with them.

This was his third day practicing and he’d finally figured out how to make a solid line without skipping or wobbling too bad. The cursive words weren’t tattoo quality, but they were legible and pretty fucking neat compared to his chicken scratch in his server’s notebook. 

He sat up and stretched out his neck when his alarm went off. Jaskier’s last appointment was just showing up so he had about two hours until he’d be home. He could totally get one more practice banana done. 

Geralt hunched forward over the fruit again and clicked the machine on, quickly zoning out on his task. When he finished the sentence (his best yet) he set the pile of bananas on the kitchen counter before packing up the machine and hiding it under the couch. 

He’d meant to get up and send a picture to Yen for approval. He’d definitely meant to hide the evidence of his plan before Jaskier got home. 

But the bar had been packed for the lunch rush and he’d replaced four kegs and staged two because Abby couldn’t lift them and he was just so damn tired. He made the mistake of leaning back to rest and within seconds he was out. 

-

He woke up to a banana smacking him in the face, then another in his shoulder, then yet another far too close to his dick for comfort. He lurched forward in horror when he realized what was happening. 

“Oh fuck!”

“Oh fuck indeed! This is why we have so much fucking banana bread?!” Jaskier threw another banana at him from the kitchen island, smacking him in the neck.

“Shit! No! Uh… fuck,” Geralt leapt up and collected the bananas from the living room floor before turning to see his boyfriend crying, “I… fucked up.” 

Jaskier’s face flitted through at least twenty different emotions in the span of five seconds but Geralt only felt terror. 

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. He’d planned a little getaway and surprise and he’d do it at the top of a beautiful hike when the sun was setting. He thought he could put a banana in Jask’s bag and ask for a snack at the top. Or something like that. He wasn’t too sure about the whole hiking thing. But it sure as hell wasn’t supposed to happen while he was asleep. 

“You…?” Jaskier picked up the last banana still on the kitchen counter and stared at it before looking back up at Geralt, “Do you mean this?”

Geralt nodded, still absolutely petrified.

“This isn’t just some sentence you chose to practice?”

Geralt shook his head. 

Jaskier took a deep breath and wiped his face, back to staring at the banana, “Why?”

“Well you said you can’t have jewelry on your hands at work because of health regulations and rings can be a pain in the ass at the bar so…” Geralt slowly rounded the couch and stood just a couple feet in front of Jaskier, “I don't know, I just thought we could tattoo them on?”

The look on Jaskier’s face was completely unreadable, and Geralt had recently said he was fluent in his boyfriend’s expressions, “No, why do you want to marry me?” 

Geralt frowned before he gently took the banana out of his hands and sunk down to one knee, “Because you are everything I could ever want and more,” he licked his lips and blinked the sleep out of his eyes before he continued, really wishing he’d stopped for coffee on the way home, “I love everything about you. Literally everything. Even the annoying things,” Jaskier gave a watery smile and held out his hand, which Geralt eagerly took as he babbled on, “I love your voice in the morning and when you yell at me and when you sing in the shower. I love how passionate you are and how you’d do anything for the people you love. I love your ridiculously blue eyes,” he gave Jask’s hand a squeeze and took a moment to clear away the tightness in his throat and blink a couple times, “I love how strong you are. I love that you’re still open and gentle and sweet even after everything you’ve been through. I will grumble and complain but I really do love that you push me to be better,” he took a deep breath and tried his best to keep his voice steady but Jask was looking at him like he was the only thing that had ever mattered in the whole universe, “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I can’t believe I almost booked my first tattoo with a scary looking guy smoking a cigarette in his profile picture. I am so so unbelievably lucky to have you and I want to do everything in my power to make you happy. Forever. But if you dont bite that wobbling lip I'm not going to make it through this.”

Jaskier laughed and wiped at his nose, biting his bottom lip.

Geralt cleared his throat again as he finally lost his battle with the tears, “Jaskier Pankratz, brilliant and ridiculous love of my life, will you marry me?”

He nodded and let out a strangled high pitched whine as he tugged Geralt up to his feet and clung to his shoulders. Geralt held him close and rested the hand not currently holding a banana on the back of his head as he cried into his shirt for a minute. 

“Yes!” Jaskier gasped as he stood back to look at Geralt, almost choked really, with the way he was still crying with his whole body, “Yes, I’ll marry you! Figured I should actually say it.”

Geralt laughed and cupped his cheek with one hand, “Thank you, I was getting a little nervous.”

Jaskier gave a hysterical giggle before sealing their lips together in a salty, messy kiss, “What the fuck are we gonna do with all these bananas?”

Geralt kissed his nose and held his best banana up, “First we have to take a picture for Yen and Triss. Then banana bread?”

They spent the rest of the night making seven massive loaves of banana bread. Well, Geralt baked banana bread. Jaskier clung to him in any way he could and followed him around the kitchen. 

When Geralt stood up from pulling the last loaf out of the oven Jaskier hugged him from behind, resting his head on his shoulder with his arms wrapped around his ribs, “Darling, since we’re getting mar-ried,” he put extra emphasis on ‘married’ and giggled, “you should know I really hate banana bread.” 

Geralt snorted, dropping the tin foil roll as he laughed and leaned back into his fiancé. 

“Hope that’s not a deal-breaker,” Jaskier giggled, pressing a kiss to Geralt’s cheek.

“I think we can work it out,” Geralt sighed, turning in Jaskier’s arms to kiss him again, only pulling away long enough to mutter a soft, “I love you,” before walking him backwards out of the kitchen and down the hall, lips still firmly and lovingly pressed together.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

You wrote your opinions on the Order of the Phoenix, what about the Death Eaters? That's another way of saying Lucius, Bellatrix, and anybody else. I honestly feel that we're running out of HP characters for you to write your opinion and reasoning about, so yeah~

We honestly are. When people start asking me questions about Harry’s nameless and faceless classmates I feel like we’re scraping the bottom of my barrel of Harry Potter opinions.

Though, that said, this is still a very large ask if you want me to analyze very Death Eater ever or even the Death Eaters as a whole (which is worthy of its own post).

So, we’ll compromise, and I’ll just look at the two you name dropped.

Lucius Malfoy

To me, Lucius is by far one of the more intelligent Death Eaters. He’s the guy who makes them almost look classy. I say almost, because Lucius is still a racist domestic terrorist and as the series goes on Tom gleefully drags him into being less classy by the minute (his house becomes a POW camp and housing for the dregs of society, Lucius just sobs, trying to be thankful he’s somehow still alive).

Lucius is rich, sophisticated, and is probably the most politically powerful man in the country. He has a beautiful wife he has... a son (sorry Draco, but you do not live up to your father) the guy has it all.

Which makes it very surprising that he got dragged into this mess. But you see, Lucius is paying for that tragedy we call youth.

Also, as a caveat, I’m about to headcanon hard and will not bother to get into the details of why I think x, y, or z in this post.

Ten years prior to the start of canon, Lucius is a very young man, probably very charismatic, certainly believes he’s intelligent and probably gets decent grades, but nonetheless the kind of stupid you see in men ages 15-25.

He’s likely chafing under his aging father’s strict guidance, knows he’s not going to be Lord Malfoy for years yet, wants to get out there, prove himself, and make a difference for his country. More importantly for Lucius, there’s this hip, exciting, new thing that all his cousins and friends are getting into called “The Death Eaters” (yes, I don’t believe the Knights of Walpurgis/Death Eaters 1.0 ever happened, I think it’s ridiculous that fandom and JKR does, I could go into why but not in this post). 

The Death Eaters are led by the single handedly most beautiful, charismatic, man in Britain. (Yes, I headcanon Tom’s still blindingly attractive at this stage, because it makes much more sense to me but we’re not getting into that here.) A mysterious man by the name of Voldemort, Salazar Slytherin’s long lost heir, who has come to resurrect the wizarding world’s true heritage and purge the land of the muggle stain. (Yes, I do believe that no one, not even Lucius who is later given the diary, knew who Tom really was. I believe Regulus’ had only the vaguest idea, informed mostly by Tom’s use of Kreacher to place the locket.) This is the most exciting thing to have ever happened, the rallies probably consist of rich kids drunk out of their minds and maybe even high on a little wizard cocaine, and Lucius is down for it precisely because his father says “Lucius, this is stupid, please don’t embarrass the family.” WELL LUCIUS IS GOING TO EMBARRASS THE FAMILY, DAD! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!

And for a while, it looks like Lucius made the right choice. Things are happening, they’re actually going out and killing the mudbloods! Unlike Regulus, Lucius never has that “wait a minute” moment as he realizes that Voldemort’s actually far more efficiently eliminating pureblood families and sowing dissention in what was once a unanimous force among the Wizengamot (the other pureblood lords aren’t necessarily pro muggleborn, per se, but they get a bit queasy at the thought of blowing them up or Merlin forbid actually blowing up their own public venues wizards use). 

And then October 31st, 1981 happens, and it all comes crashing down. Lucius has to desperately lie his ass off, having only the flimsiest lie to rely on, has to hand out a shit ton of bribes, and manages to squeeze his way out of being imprisoned in Azkaban. 

I’m sure Abraxas looked at his son, with his tattoo on his arm that makes him another man’s slave, at the utter destruction of the Black family, and just shook his head going, “Clean up your mess, Dumbass Son”

And Lucius does to the best of his ability. While some will always suspect him of being a Death Eater, while some know it, he’s able to climb very high in influence in their ridiculously tiny community. Granted, I do think he messed up, and could never for example run for minister given everything (if Crouch can’t rerun then Lucius certainly can’t). He also shows us that in some ways he is not above the law, he’s very afraid his house will be searched without warrant in The Chamber of Secrets, and this is in part why he dumps Tom Riddle’s diary off onto Ginny.

However, he wields total control of the Prophet, has a seat on the Wizengamot, has the ear of the current Minister, is on the Hogwarts’ Board of Governors, and has his hands in pretty much every pie he can.

I imagine during this period Lucius grows up. He brushes the indiscretions of his youth under the carpet, gleefully leaving it all behind him, and the only real friend he maintains contact with from that period is Severus, the least zealot like of all of them. (Crabbe and Goyle Sr aren’t friends, they’re minions). 

Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a racist slime bag, and I don’t think he really regrets the domestic terrorism. He just regrets nearly getting caught and putting his entire family’s security on the line. He witnessed first hand what happened to the Blacks.

And then the worst thing happens: Tom Riddle rises from the dead. He rises, impossibly, from the dead when Lucius has his own hand caught in the cookie jar.

Lucius has been living a life of luxury and influence while his great master, the man he had pledged everything to, was dead. Worse, Lucius took what was described as a treasured item to be protected at all costs, and not only threw it away but sent it to Hogwarts where it caused massive havoc and was ultimately destroyed. 

And Lucius, I imagine, no longer wants to serve a master.

But he has no choice. And so begins Lucius’ descent into misery and hell as he’s given an increasing set of impossible, horrific, tasks in punishment that involve him watching as his wife and son are put through hell.

I believe Tom holds a special place in his cold, black, passive aggressive heart for Lucius Malfoy.

First, Tom makes Lucius’ house his headquarters. Oh, Lucius, you have a very nice, very large, estate? Why don’t you host your beloved, mad, cousin, her equally mad husband and brother-in-law? Oh, Bellatrix threatened to cut off your ear? Well, she’s just so passionate! 

Second, Lucius is told to go get the prophecy. Well, this is easier said than done. He nearly succeeds but then it all turns into the world’s largest clusterfuck that ends in two notable things. First, the prophecy is lost forever, shattered. Second, the government admits that Voldemort is truly resurrected. Both of these things are very bad in Tom’s book. And the blame can easily be put on Lucius’ head.

In response to this, Draco is now given an impossible task that Draco is too stupid to realize is designed to cause him (and his family) as much misery as possible. Draco is to assassinate Dumbledore. 

Likely, Tom was already informed by Snape that Dumbledore was dying. The blackened hand was too obvious a tell coming from too obvious a source for the pair to have hid it. I think trying to hide such information would have immediately blown Snape’s cover. So, Tom knows the man is dying, and doesn’t see fit to tell Draco this.

Instead, he tells Draco, “Kill Dumbledore as soon as possible or I deliver you to Fenrir Grayback.” Draco, however, is young and stupid, so he honestly thinks he is doing this to restore the family honor, earn glory for himself and for the cause, and is expected to do this entirely by himself. As a result, when Narcissa begs Snape to aid Draco, Draco blows them both off and only accepts help from Bellatrix because HE CAN DO THIS ON HIS OWN! DRACO IS A MAN.

This, of course, doesn’t work out either. Draco doesn’t deliver the killing blow, Snape does, but Tom decides to give him a pass.

Instead he moves on to his next plan which is making the Malfoy manor his torture chamber and POW camp. Even Draco, at this point, realizes this all kind of sucks. 

And then Voldemort finally dies a second time, and I’m sure Lucius just stares numbly at his malformed corpse, wondering if it will really take this time.

So that’s Lucius for you, paying always for his mistakes, and pretending he’s just as much of a nutcase as Bellatrix to fit in.

Bellatrix LeStrange

God, compared to the novel that is Lucius’ ridiculous life, I really don’t have much to say about her because I feel like there’s not much too her.

Bellatrix reminds me a lot of the Manson family, she gives off those same vibes. Point being, I think even before Azkaban (while Azkaban certainly didn’t help), she was insane and a little too worshipful of Voldemort.

I guess I can start there, I don’t think Bellamort is a thing, at all. 

Tom may have, probably did, have sex with her before he died but afterwards? In that body? Forget about it.

That said, I’m sure Bellatrix both wanted to have sex and is convinced she did have sex to produce whatever the hell Delphi even is. It just wasn’t with Tom, and probably was Rodolphous with a Halloween mask on his face as they got a little too into role play.

And there we go, I suppose, I can’t take Bellatrix seriously. You often see her portrayed as sexy femme fatale Death Eater, the most competent of all of them, if a bit of a sadist.

Oh she might be a very good duelist but she’s... Bellatrix.

She prances around in corsets, shrieking madly, and just what part of that is supposed to be femme fatale? I literally cannot take her seriously on any level. When I even try to write her seriously, in very serious stories, I end up with lines like the following:

"My lord, if there's anything you need… Anything from me, specifically, as a woman…" 

- Bright Eyes

That was my best attempt. That was the best I could come up with. It’s still something that belongs in a comedy.

So, I don’t think Tom really corrupted her. I think without Voldemort she still probably would have been blowing up Diagon Alley, just in a much less organized manner.

Even in canon she does ridiculous things. For example, Bellatrix, frankly, could have easily avoided prison.

For weeks after the dark lord fell neither she, her husband, Barty, nor her brother-in-law were arrested. Bellatrix in grief and utter disbelief that the dark lord could ever do something so mortal as die, said “remember that other house our lord mentioned, THEY MIGHT HAVE INFORMATION, LET’S GO MURDER THE LONGBOTTOMS!” They torture and kidnap Frank, demanding he tell them where their master is, THEY KNOW HE KNOWS. He doesn’t know. They go too far and torture the man into being a vegetable. “Shit, GET THE WIFE!” They go get the wife, do the same thing, with the same results.

They now have no information on the dark lord, two well regarded aurors tortured into brain damage, and are quickly caught and brought before the court with absolutely no “I was imperiused” excuse they can give out. 

How am I supposed to take her in any way seriously?

I mean, to end your life killed in a duel with Molly Weasley. That just says it all.

[dungoubaystrogs]

excuse the mind rot but i do not care ab what anyone else thinks or says bc in my head childe and shenhe would understand each other so much. like, at this stage we're not exactly sure what happened to shenhe when she was a child but we know she's *been through some shit*, just like Ajax had when he was younger. they're both mORTALS who got taken in by a sort of "system" that immortals are usually affiliated in, in which the partial reason was to keep the two of them stable, due to their impressive abilities (ajax joining the fatui and shenhe going with the adepti). the only primary differences between them is shenhe's supposedly ruthless tendencies are *contained* here, by those red ropes, whereas childe's are practically weaponised. it's why shenhe's character teaser is more open about her past and her current dilemmas and seems more regretful, whereas childe's literally just showcases his harsh duties and choice to be heartless when need be. childe also seems strangely *happier* in his teaser, and heck even in game we haven't seen him actually bring up his past at all other than perhaps teucer and his foul legacy transformation which suggests that either he does not regret anything that has lead him to this point OR he's just very shielded about whatever happened, whereas we see that shenhe has frequent nightmares about hers and seems far more longing of a normal life. another thing to factor in is that shenhe's family supposedly perished in whatever disaster happened, while childe's are still alive and safe, which perhaps is another reason shenhe's character as a whole seems so lonely whereas childe's feels less so.

[mrstaeminlee]

Mission Complete Ch. 1

You had two goals in life. One: Complete your squad training without dying. Two: Fuck Levi Ackerman

Pairings: Levi/f!reader

Warnings: Swearing, eventual smut, lmk if I need to add anything~

You really had no idea what the fuck prompted you to join the military. Maybe it was to find some redeeming grace in the eyes of your dying mother, maybe it was because you wanted a life with as much stability as one could muster, maybe it was because you just fucking hated farming.

Whatever it was, you wished to any God that would listen that you would have buried it in the ground along with the countless friends and family members you had lost to the Titans.

The first week of the cadet corps was everything you knew you would hate and more. Between the foul smelling breath of the commandant threatening to make you puke up the bread you had managed to steal, to working your body to the point of sneaking away from one on one combat to puke behind the bushes, after seven days you had almost decided that maybe digging in the dirt for the rest of your miserable life wasn't so bad.

There was only one thing stopping you from making your own walk of shame to the wagon of regret.

Levi Ackerman.

AKA the man you fantasized about every night when you managed to find enough strength to finger yourself below the covers.

He was a couple of inches shorter, true, but you were willing to break your rule of not fucking anyone shorter than you for him.

You had only see him twice in your life by complete chance, the first had been when you happened to be by the gates in time to see the Scouts returning from what was undoubtably another failed mission, and you decided that what the hell, might as well have a look at Humanity's Strongest in the flesh. Granted, it hadn't been his best day; his green cloak was splattered with what could only have been the blood of his comrades as it didn't look as if he had a single scratch on him, but he looked like a god, albeit one that had just gotten his ass kicked out of heaven. His eyes seemed to be sunken in, and even from how far away you were you found yourself shivering from the intensity of his dead gaze. You weren't sure what possessed you to lift your hand as he eyes moved through the crowd, looking for whom, you didn't know, or what possessed him to raise those eyes to you, but you found yourself lost in haunted silver as you gave a soft wave. The way he seemed to look straight through you, not even seeing you even as you stared at each other, was enough to convince you that you needed to do whatever it took to see this man again.

You enlisted the start of the next week.

The second time was completely by chance.

Everyone was desperate for military recruits, and desperate times called for desperate calls to important people to make appearances in front of people that were well, not very important.

Erwin Smith, Dot Pixis, Nile Dawk, Levi Ackerman, Hange Zoe, Rico Brzenska, and even Darius Zackly graced the entrance ceremony of the new Cadets, and you thanked whatever bone in your body made you a teacher's pet because you had a front row seat to the man that had plagued your thoughts every single day in the past week. His appearance was brief and he didn't speak, just stared at the fresh faces, some cocky, some blank, but mostly terrified new recruits, and you could have sworn that you saw a tinge of sadness hidden in the silver, as if he could already foresee the deaths of everyone in front of him. He followed after Erwin immediately after the blond gave his speech about thanking you all for making the decision to serve humanity and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. 'I'm not doing this for humanity, I'm doing this for dick,' you thought as you signed your life away to this shit camp for the next two years.

How one man who was fucking shorter than you managed to convince you to trade the next 728 days, 14 hours, 37 minutes, and 15 seconds of your life for physical and emotional hell was beyond you, and yet here you were, standing proud and slightly hungover from the pre-graduation celebrating you did with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin the night before. They hadn't initially been your first choice in friends, but Armin was nice to you from the start and once you very quickly learned that flirting with Eren in front of Mikasa was not in your best interest, you had decided that they were alright; especially when Eren's Titan form had been revealed. If anyone was going to have to get close enough to keep an eye on Eren, it would be Captain Levi.

The very man you were thinking of walked on the stage along with Nile Dawk, Dot Pixis, and Erwin Smith as the three took turns giving their pitch. You hadn't made the top 10 but were happy for your friends that were, you were content with your place as 13th. In a class of over 500, you still considered it a win, and if your parents were still alive you knew they'd be proud. As the remaining members of the top 10 who had opted to join the elitest MP's went off to talk to Nile and the other scared fucks ran off to sign themselves to the Garrison regiment, you and around a hundred other members stayed where you were and you licked your lips, forcing your heart rate to calm itself. 'Calm down, you can't work your way up to fucking the strongest man in the world if you die of heart attack before-'

"Listen up you little shits."

Oh my God he was speaking you've never heard his voice before it's so fucking-

"Most of you are going to die. Are you prepared for that?"

Ah, so Humanity's Strongest was a sweet talker.

"Erwin is making me come up here and talk, so we're all going to pretend that I'm saying some meaningful bullshit. But here's the truth: If you aren't strong, you will die, and it will be painful. Imagine the thought of seeing your childhood friend's entrails being slurped up like spaghetti by a Titan, while the entire time he's conscious enough to reach his hand out for you, and you are able to do nothing for him because you spent exactly one second hesitating, or you were a moment too late to draw your blades, or react to the threat. If that scares you, then do us all a favor and put down that half assed salute and sell your soul to the Garrison where you'll spend your days fucking the best whores for a discount if you're in uniform and getting drunk on the clock."

After his touching speech you and your now dripping panties decided that you had indeed made the right decision in selling yourself to the Scouts.

One month later

It was moments like these, where you weren't quite trashed but definitely more than tipsy, that you had never been happier to be part of the survey corps. I mean, you were in peak physical shape (you still couldn't believe you had abs. Abs!), you were hot, you were fit, and you knew Sasha Braus, who had managed to steal a few bottles of top shelf liquor from the higher ups.

You were also horny as fuck. It had been over a year since you'd gotten laid, and you were using the dildo you'd bought on your first trip back into town as often as you brushed your teeth (twice a day, you didn't fuck with cavities). You briefly thought about enlisting the help of one of your current drinking buddies but after seeing your choices you decided to leave it to old faithful hidden in your pillowcase. There was Jean, who albeit was pretty hot even with the long face but was so in love with Mikasa it made you want to vomit. Marco, who you were almost one hundred percent sure was gay; Connie, who held the sexual appeal of a pile of horse shit, although he was super nice. Reiner almost looked promising but you knew underneath those stocky muscles was a shitload of emotional baggage you didn't want, and Bertholt was head over heels for Annie of all people. That left Armin and Eren. Eren you already knew was out, while your slut senses told you he'd be a great lay, you weren't quite ready for your life to end at the hands of Mikasa. That left Armin. You tilted your head, staring at him as you sipped on your god forsaken concoction and debated fucking him or not. He wasn't outright sexy, but he'd filled in well during the two years of training and you had seen glimpses of his surprisingly impressive muscles under his white shirt. He might actually do. He'd be shy as hell and you would have to lead everything, not to mention he'd probably cum in less than a minute, but it just might-

“Did you guys know that Captain Levi is a virgin?"

You spit the mix of vodka, rum, and whatever mixer Reiner had put in all over the face of the person you had just considered fucking.

"I'm sorry, what?" You turned your attention to Christa, apologetically handing Armin a napkin and patting his cheek.

Christa blushed at the attention and scooted closer to Ymir, who threw an arm around her shoulders and gave Reiner her customary 'If you even look at her weird, I will gut you' look. "W-Well, recently I started helping out in the infirmary because they've been short handed. You all know, it's that time of year where everyone has to get looked at and they give us that sheet of paper to fill out with all of our personal information to keep track of potential diseases. I was in charge of filing the paperwork the day they brought all of the officers in, and on the paper they ask you how many sexual partners you've had and Captain Levi wrote 0. But you guys, you have to promise not to tell anyone! This is private information, if it somehow gets out that I told you this I'll get into a lot of trouble!"

Ymir chuckled, placing a sloppy kiss at the top of the blonde's head. "Don't worry about a thing sweet cheeks, if any of these miscreants here says a word I'll kill them for ya. But we don't have to worry about that at all, now do we?" She glared at each person in the room, who all looked as if Christa were a ghost, and slowly shook their heads.

Your life was changed.

Captain Levi Ackerman.

The strongest man in the world.

Rumored former thug of the Underground.

The person responsible for killing as many Titans as a hundred soldiers.

The person whose squad every scout dreamed of being on, was a virgin.

You screeched out a laugh before you could help it, the alcohol doing nothing to try and make you quiet yourself as you fell onto your back laughing, cup long forgotten as it rolled across the floor. The person who initiated your drive to join the military in the first place, the person you literally dreamed of fucking, had never gotten his dick wet.

Clearly, you had your work cut out for you.

If you managed to live through the sight of Ymir reaching over to punch you in the face to shut you up.

[lcksndkys]

Pairing: hobi x reader

Rating: SFW

Genre: dancer!hobi x bff reader

Word count: 1,474

A/N: This piece was written as part of the btsghostiewriters drabble marathon!! Dialogue prompt #3: “Do you take constructive criticism?” “I only take cash.” Enjoy and feel free to talk to me about it! I'd love to hear what you think!! As usual, s/o to my peoples @jinpanman and @wwilloww for the support and encouragement!! Also, the song is Permission by Ro James.

Summary:  Hoseok wants to audition for a position as an exotic dancer at The Pied Piper, a new strip club that provides entertainment for all. He wants your opinion of his routine. Except, you’ve been silently harboring a tiny (re: massive) crush on your friend. 

OR

You accidentally tell Hoseok you don’t find him sexy.

01, 02

"You wanna strip?" you ask, cocking a brow. 

“I need the job,” Hoseok explains. “I wanna buy Dynamite from Sejeong Hyung and run my own dance studio. Plus, it's not stripping, it's called exotic dancing.” 

“What about a loan?” you try to counter, ignoring the second part of his claim. 

“I wouldn’t even qualify for one big enough for Dynamite. This job will pay well enough to cover whatever expenses are left over after the loan” he continues.

The new strip club, The Pied Piper, provides entertainment for all and is currently hiring male exotic dancers. According to Hoseok, the type of dancing is sensual, but classy. He even pulled up a video advertisement to show you proof.

He sets his laptop on the ground in front of the two of you and presses play.

The characteristic beats of a familiar song ring through the air. Pony, how cliché. You watch the men on the screen gyrate their hips along to the beat of the greasy song, body-rolling around the stage in nothing but their fitted jeans. The physique of each man is eye catching to say the least.

The choreography is complex with each dancer making small stylistic adjustments so that they look in sync, but not matching entirely. Clearly, many of them are classically trained and/or professionals. 

Enraptured, you watch as their bodies move sensuously with the music. The clip shifts to one of the male dancers who pulls a woman on stage. A sparkling white and silver sash looped around her torso indicates she’s a blushing bride-to-be. She’s helped to a chair and approached by one of the dancers. Before the clip is over, Hoseok is closing his laptop and looking for your reaction.

“So, do you think I could do it?” he asks you eagerly.

You look into his hopeful eyes and your heart melts a little bit. He’s your Hoseok. Sweet, shy, sensitive, scared-of-everything Hoseok. You still remember how he cried when he was stung by a bee during dance camp in high school. How he has a 1.5 drink limit- half a drink better than when you both started college years ago. You try to imagine your friend dancing like the men you just watched on the screen.

“Well, those men- they’re really...” you struggle to find an appropriate term. You settle on “They’re really sexy” and then immediately regret your choice of words.

“You don’t think I’m sexy?” 

Looking at Hoseok’s crestfallen face, you rapidly launch into damage control. 

“I just mean- I’ve never seen you dance like that, Hobi”

There’s a few tense seconds of silence as Hoseok regards you before he slowly releases one long breath through his nose.

“I’ve been practicing,” he claims.

You swallow the lump in your throat at the dark look he’s suddenly giving you. It looks like danger. 

Hoseok digs a folding chair out of the dingy closet of your modest dance studio. He drags it across the floor, props it open, and gestures for you to have a seat.

Sitting on the cold metal folding chair, you cross your arms and legs. You affix the carefully crafted neutral mask over your face. Secretly, you’re proud of your ability to hide the secret crush that has been quietly brewing over the last year.

“Can I show you what I’ve been working on?” he asks.

You nod your consent.

“Good. I’d like your feedback” he smiles. 

You watch as Hoseok browses through his playlist and assume he’s looking for his audition song.

The sensuous music fills the little studio, echoing against the hard walls. The blank expression on your face hides the nervously pitter pattering of your heart. 

With your permission

Tonight I wanna be a little me on you

Your skin prickles with heat as you watch Hoseok start to dance slowly to the beat. Limbs fluid with practice and hip swaying, you’re mesmerized by his movements. 

He suddenly dives for the floor, twisting his body in a quarter turn mid-air, catching himself in a near handstand position before slowly lowering his chest, then pelvis to the floor. On hands and knees, his head swivels to make eye contact with you. He parts his legs, lowering his hips and thrusting against the ground making you gasp softly. Desire pools deep in your belly and for the first time in your life, you wish you were the flooring of this grimy, old studio.

Flipping over, Hoseok keeps his knees bent and plants his feet on the ground. Thighs spread wide, he bucks his hips up towards you. Your eyes follow the undulating of his hips as he pumps himself against the air.

Come on give me that green light

And you can let your hair hang down

But only if it feels right

You grit your teeth together to keep from panting.

He gracefully stands, adding a flourish to his movements, and begins unbuttoning his shirt as he approaches you.

At the last button, he sweeps open his top exposing the lithe planes of his chest and abdomen. Although not as muscular as the men in the video, his body is perfectly proportioned with well toned pecs and abs and delicate collarbones.

You gulp, hoping Hoseok hasn’t noticed how he’s affecting you. Watching him dance for you is alarmingly arousing.

There's a whole lot of motherfuckin' lovin' that's way past due

I owe you

With your permission

I'ma do all the things that I said I'm gon' do

Hands on your thighs, he uncrosses your legs then arms with a smirk. He straddles your lap and pulls your hands up to cup his ass. 

You feel heat lick its way up your neck and cheeks. 

This close up, you see every detail in Hoseok’s beautiful face. His perfectly sloped nose, the mole on his upper lip, every lash framing his usually warm eyes.  

Encouraging you to hold onto him, he grinds his hips against you to the beat of the song. With both hands clutching his tight gluts, you can’t help but feel every sensuous movement of his pelvis. Your mind drifts to his stroke game, sending another wave of arousal through your core. He brings one hand to your neck, long fingers wrapping around you to lock your eyes together. The other holds onto the backing of the chair he is currently defiling you against.

Satisfied with your gaze, you feel him bury his fingers in the hair at the base of your skull, scratching luxuriously against your scalp and you nearly moan out loud. Instead you bite the inside of your cheek and hold your composure.

Your hands start to wander up the planes of his back and sides, feeling the bumps and grooves of muscle and bone. 

Hoseok continues to fuck you against the chair until he draws a whimper from between your sealed lips.

He smiles in victory and buries his hand in your locks at the base of your skull and pulls. He noses along the column of exposed skin while he grinds against you making you shiver with need.

There's a tension, between us two

Red light special, girl you're special

You a blessing, so let me bless you

As the song winds down, Hoseok pulls back, eyes blackened with desire as he stares down at you. 

Like magnets, you are drawn towards each other. Hoseok presses his soft lips against yours in a tender, chaste kiss- a stark contrast to the dirty grinding of his body against yours. Hand still in your hair, he tips your head to the side sending his tongue out to lap against the seam of your lips. You part for him feeling the warm, wet muscle glide into your mouth and stealing the air from your lungs.

By the time he pulls back to study your reaction, you’re dazed and scrambling to find something coherent to say.

“Do you take constructive criticism?” you choke out, trying to sound casual.

“I only take cash” he quips back at you holding a hand out as if asking for a tip.

“Ok, well you probably shouldn’t kiss any of the patrons” you advise quietly thinking it was a planned part of his routine. 

Disappointed by your seemingly lackluster reaction to his kiss, Hoseok pulls back from you dropping his hand from your neck. 

“Is that all you have to say?” Hoseok grunts and climbs off you, no longer smiling.

“It’s just so cliché,” you try to explain.

“Yeah, well, so is falling for a friend” he throws back, hurt.

You gasp. 

“I never-” you panic.

“- I wasn’t talking about you” Hoseok effectively cuts you off.

You swear your heart stops for a second as you process Hoseok’s words. You’re speechless as he quickly packs up his belongings and takes one last look at your bewildered face before he leaves you sitting in the middle of the studio. 

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 9 (part 1)

“ppl & feelings can’t be bound down”~

What an ep for my girl tohru! She completed her growth thanks to kyo’s rejection. really, It was so hard, cruel, understandable but above all so necessary for her to reach a logical realistic conclusion that “I can love/want things from the bottom of my heart, but at the end I can’t force or bound them to me, I won’t regret loving/wanting them, but I’ll move forward regardless, no more standing still”.

-The fear of being alone:

Aren’t we all? We’re scared to face the word after breaking bonds, changing, not getting what we want, having to start over. Such feelings run deeper into us all. Both tohru & akito were scared to face the word without the old comfortable bond that they got used to:

Tohru realized today, that she cant keep talking to a cold photo, can’t live according to her mom’s expectations, to fulfill her mom’s wishes, can’t narrate her daily life to her mom & fill her life with other ppl’s own issues to distract her self from facing her own loneliness & from looking deeper into what should she do with her life. As she fell in love with kyo, tohru started talking to him! forgetting to inform her mom abt her life’s details, thinking abt what will she do “after graduation?”. As kyo asked in se02, ep2. Graduating highschool is ur mom’s wish, What would u wanna do after?” Tohru didnt have a response of “an after”cuz her mom wasnt there to tell her! Tohru has to choose “the after” herself!!!! “The after” was being with kyo & starting life together! figuring what to do next together! She no longer alone! she found her most precious person!

Except: he cant be with her. Again tohru is scared. What to do now! she wanted a bond but is forced to leave it. Loving kyo was stage 1 to be free from her grief. Moving forward without kyo is stage 2 to learn not to repeat the painful journey again! She didnt let go of her mom & kyo easily. It was hard, scary but she must do it. You must respect their wishes & move on. As scared as she is, there will be sadness & happiness ahead.

Akito realized she cant keep an empty box, cant keep fulfilling her dad’s wishes to “be loved & special” cant bound the zodiacs to her for good. They may love her or not, it doesn't matter, if they wish to leave for whatever reason, she cant force them to stay.

Except now that the zodiacs are leaving, what does she have to live for? who will be with her? she isnt good with strangers? she never met anyone who wasnt forced to obey her & be grateful for her. Strangers cant be forced to love her! what will she do now? stretch you hand for a greeting. Tohru told her, make a friend, they might refuse you, but hey might accept u too, I’ll make it easy, Hi, I;m tohru, whats ur name?

The power of true love: ( reality vs fiction)

In fairy tales, the princess fix the prince. the prince save the princess. The prince kiss the princess, she wakes up & they be happy ever after. Except real life has no prince & princess, You cant always be saved, you cant always save others, pure intense true love cant always be the answer!

Yuki was first when tohru needed physical saving. he saved her twice! Yuki’s nickname in school ”the prince”. Yuki is always cool, thoughtful & kind. Yuki always knew what to say & do! he deserves tohru’s romantic love more than kyo, right? But “ppl & feelings can’t be bound down”~ . Yuki didn't feel this way towards tohru, granted no one (excepts kakeru) knows the reason why he loves her fondly (she’s his mom figure). The official” prince isnt the one for her. Real life isn’t a fairy tale. Yuki has someone who sees he isn’t cool, perfect or a prince “ granted no one knows abt machi, yet! ) XD

In tohru monologue: she didnt think abt saving, that's not why she loves kyo. She stated normal, silly, mundane things! a shy smile, awkward kindness & the likes. Stuff ppl love abt each other in real life. You dont say, I love my husband cuz he saved me from a burning building in the 7th floor! lol. But fiction is so full of this. Princes saving princesses.

Tohru didnt fix kyo, too! as much as her love helped him greatly to find hope, the best writing choice is that tohru’s love also brought despair to kyo! To him, she’s the symbol of hope, peace & comfort! she’s also, the symbol of despair, torment & unease! EPIC! The kyo who’s stuck in the past cant be with her, the kyo who will move beyond trauma, abuse & broken soul will be with her. The duality is all on kyo’s shoulder: what will he choose? Can he choose in his state now?

In fairy tales the princess wakes up after the kiss. In real life, we don't. Tohru didn’t. Regardless if she fainted during or after the kiss. The kiss fixed nothing. Kyo’s despair in seeing near-dead tohru in a not-so-subtle mimic to his nightmare, has manifested itself into the sweetest kiss upon seeing her conscious & talking. Kyo isnt good with words, his actions are his words. When he’s scared, sad, in trauma: running away. when he’s  fond of her, grateful for her existence: head knock, head pats, hand holding & a kiss. Still the kiss fixed nothing. Kyo is still traumatized more than ever now. Tohru still feels rejected “even if I’m not with you, plz live”.

Talking fixes everything. It didn’t here, kyo & tohru talked & showed their most vulnerable side to the other, but still didn’t meet half ways, regardless of all the love. That’s cuz they keep missing each other’s best timing. Kyo is stuck in the past while tohru has moved forward. even if in her mind she’s the one who stood & he moved. this shows they aren’t on the same wave yet. Before meeting each other again, kyo must learn from his mistake like tohru did. He must face his ultimate demon: his dad. The one who created the current broken kyo.

Rebelling against parents: ( sign of growth & freedom of choice):

Rebelling against parents  is a sign of a desire to choose one’s path, decide one’s own future. Away to express an oppressed desire.

Yuki rebelled against his mom in se02. he told her I’m not going to the college you chose. I’ll chose my path. I’m not staying away from Ayame. My bro is good in my book. I chose who I want to be with. He told her what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.

Tohru rebelled against her mom today. told her I’m not wasting myself doing only what you I think you’ll approve off. You might bot forhet kyo, thats ur choice, But I DO. I love him even if you might not approve of him, Even if he rejected me, my feelings wont change, but I’ll move forward from the grief & pain. mother. She told her what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.

Kyo WILL rebelled against his disgusting dad. He MUST. It is his turn now. He’ll tell him I’m not wasting myself being locked in a cage. I have a future! I’m not a monster. I am LOVED! I might not 100% sure why I’m loved, but the truth cant be hidden. I have ppl who love me! cheer for me! I want to live! enough of death! mom & kyoko died, tohru nearly did, but I’m not gonna die! I’m not killing ME! I’‘ll do what MOM didnt do! I’ll do what YOU couldn't do! I’ll live! He’ll tell him what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.  I cant wait! I’m in tears just thinking abt it! Kyo was punished enough! time for happiness!

Side Notes:

While I’m impressed with tohru’s growth, as they did her justice in this ep, this doesn’t erase that the buildup for tohru’s own journey & trauma was mediocre. There is a reason ppl commented ” omg tohru, you can love your mom AND kyo!. ” Grief is illogical, long process & it sucks that we weren’t allowed to experience tohru’s grief & her mom’s role in tohru’s abandonment issues. Huge lost opportunity that a good conclusion ep cant erase! but like tohru, I’m moving on ~

The path of growth for kyo will start by rejecting the demon: his dad. No. other. option. Hold abusers accountable for their crimes. Stop their madness. Tell them off.

We know kyo is baka! that’s his trade mark, the endearing baka! a lot of characters in the show think so! I love it, but I’m craving baka-yuki! XD! really, yuki is cool, level-headed & smart, but let him be baka too! this only shows up in tiny microscopic doses, but they’re my fave doses of yuki! it humanizes the “perfect prince”, the “gifted high status rat”! Thus him not seeing kyo running the other side, is my fave look on him! XD.

I appreciate that kyo & yuki put their differences aside when they’re with tohru. You cant tell yuki is hella pissed off with kyo, but he restrained himself. His gaze while full of anger is also full of sympathy as he heard/saw kyo’s panic upon the thought of loosing tohru. He understand they both only mean the best for each other, but also tried they both keep missing each other & not meeting half way! Also, yuki being the only one in the hospital is realistic & endearing. No need for them all to be there & yuki lives with her & is so close to her.

kyo not being the hospital is fantastic! thank you writer-San! why would kyo go to the hospital after thinking his nightmare came true? kyoko /his mom warned him, you’ll hurt another person.. he did.. he didn't cause her fall... but caused her sadness & hurt.

Momiji’s reprimanding gaze is my fave look on him! Also, the best response to what akito did. Akito isnt used to such judgemental gaze. Kureno grabbed her cheeks, gently told her you shouldn't do that, the old maid told her you are right, Dr. Hatori erased her mistakes from ppl heads & bodies, shigure being either cold or kissing her ass, coxing her to yet torment another zodiac in his grand scheme to break the curse as happened in the beach arc.

You bet hana & arisa will be there next ep! Arisa will meet kureno & akito for sure. To path the way for their romance as seen in the ED.

Shigure’s “remorse” is a whole can of worms. Playing with ppl’s hearts & feelings to gain someone’s affection is no laughing matter. Each time blood is shed, he contributed somehow. he didnt force anyone to hurt the other, but he played with matches & never got hurt.

Shigure must be glad akito stabbed kureno. Not cuz he’s sadistic or bad person. He isn’t, but cuz akito stabbing kureno is akito cutting her bond with him. Go shigure, your girl removed her lover with blood. Kureno is punished for sleeping with ur girl by blood! so, when is ur punishment for sleeping with ur lover’s mom? none? ok.

The animation is good. They didnt villinize akito by drawing extra manic features like se02. Kyo’s broken & tormented face once again epicly drawn. However, akito’s slaps on tohru’s face were comedic, unnecessary & such bad taste! Stop using violence for extra drama, furuba!

Also, tohru, I love you, I understand you are broken but charging at a person, who has a history of violence & physical abuse & holding a knife, is stupid. No other description. I’m glad she didnt accidentally kill you in her initial rage.

Everything akito’s redemption, kureno & shigure are part 2 in my review.