#chances are nothing would have changed if sammy did know.

[frutavel]

i saw you tagged an oc named samaela on my post. who are they im curious. please share with the class 👀

(aka “i made that post about a character archetype i love and getting to hear about new characters that fit that archetype is literally the best case scenario for me”)

Oh hi for the love of god hello!!!

This is Samaela. My babygirl. I desperately wish I had more recent art of her to share, but alas I don't. A quick scroll through my blog also shows that Most of the posts I've made talking about her are also a few years old and outdated at this point but rest assured I think about her Constantly.

Samaela is a World of Warcraft OC, and also one of my oldest OCs in general regardless of fandom/universe. Long story short, she's a Forsaken hunter with little to no memory of her past life but Vivid memory of her death (by werewolf) and a history of making bad decisions in the name of Living Deliciously.

She was resurrected post Death By Werewolf, and the process caused her to Become Werewolf. Sorta. She's a weird little fiend and an abomination even by undead standards, which leads to her necromancer running All Sorts of Tests and Experiements. Now those aren't as bad or nefarious as they sound, really, but Samaela gets tired of being a science project pretty quick, so she moves as far away from her necromancer as she can, makes a few friends and enters a 2-ish year long situationship with her Boybestfriend, during which she indulges in many bad habits such as hunting living humans for sport and eating them, which garners her a reputation for being vicious and needlessly cruel. She regrets some of it sometimes, mostly she doesn't care, and gets off mostly scotch free because she's very good at weaving stories that paint her in a good light, and her folks don't like humans anyway. Which just emboldens her.

(Here seen with her Boybestfriend, Tari, my other babygirl, after a bad hunt)

Eventually her Boybestfriend has to leave, and she is Very Sad about it but they part amicably. Unfortunately having her voice of reason and only person whom she trusted in this whole wide world move away makes her Worse. She continues to be Very Good At Lying, but still ends up in trouble with the authorities a handful of times, some friends turn their back on her as a result and she makes self preservation her number one priority. This leads to a sleuth of Decisions which eventually end up putting the life of someone at risk, someone Very Important to her Boybestfriend, and once he finds out their relationship cracks even more. She jumps to anger and resentment straight on and continues to push people away and make more Choices, until her own life is put at risk and she's forced to rethink.

Currently she's at this rethinking stage. She doesn't regret most of the things she did, but she regrets the things that affected her personally. Empathy is a hard concept for her to grasp, but she's willing to make an effort for her own sake. At her core she still wants to survive above all else, and if that means letting people help her..... well, she doesn't like it but she'll think about it.

Samaela is Difficult, and she will never not be. She needs a strong support system to help her, but unfortunately the mere thought of letting her walls down and being vulnerable makes her sick. She is hard to get along with and harder to like.... but a handful of people have gone through the effort it takes to love her all the same. That's enough for now to keep her from spiraling more, but her fate is very uncertain. She has many amends to make and she's not exactly willing to make all of them, but her self preservation instinct is so strong it might as well push her in that direction even if just to keep herself alive.

Despite her many Ls she has many Ws. Women want her. Men fear her. She fucks hard and nasty. She makes dioramas in her spare time. She is surprisingly good at keeping people safe. She likes the color green so much she always has at least One green acessory on her at all times. She's not very good at swimming but still loves the beach. She has a gender that can be best described as Indescribable. Woman, but watch out. She can also pretty effectively communicate with her hunting dogs due to her mutations, and her insides are so rancid due to the Experiments that getting bitten by her in an immediate death sentence, and she is quite fond of biting. Because of this some have taken to calling her Plaguehound <3

As for her previous life.... well that's a whole other mess. All I'll say is that she has two living siblings, one who hasn't given up looking for her, but neither one would recognize her now, and it's unlikely she'd recognize them either. She barely remembers enough about her human life to know her name, much less about her family.

In fact, she has met her older sister in the past. It didn't end well for the sister in question. Dog fights are gnarly 💖

[imtryingbuck]

Dancing In The Rain

~gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: reader and Bucky dance in the rain

Word count: 927

Warnings: nothing

Masterlist

“He truly loves her, doesn’t he?” Nat speaks as she holds the cup full of hot chocolate closer to her chest.

“His thoughts are so loud whenever she’s around” Wanda leans her head on the other red heads shoulder.

Steve stands next to them watching his best friend finally find happiness “what do you mean?”

“Well when she’s not here I can’t hear anything coming from him but when she is here, it’s pure love, all the bad memories disappear because of her, he worships the ground she walks on” the smile on her face slips into a grin “and the sexy thoughts… let’s just say that’s he’s more than satisfied and creative in that department” chuckling as Steve starts blushing.

“Didn’t need to know the last part Wand.”

“Is it bad that I’m jealous of an 106 year old great grand dad with a metal arm and a staring problem?” A voice sounds from behind the trio.

“Nope not bad at all Sammy, all three of us are jealous” Winking at Nat and Steve when they give her a look.

All four of them now stand side by side, Steve speaks up again “What about her thoughts?” Curious to how the woman who’s captured his best friend’s heart really feels.

“Her thoughts are loud too. She really loves him, she’s not afraid of him in the slightest - you guys remember a few months ago when he had that really bad nightmare?-” Of course they remember that night, they all got woken up to him screaming, by the time anyone had the chance to calm him down he was up and out of the bed destroying everything in the room. He thought he was back at Hydra not realising he was at the tower and he was now safe, all of them tried to calm him down but nothing worked. Steve and Sam wore the bruises for a week as proof. It wasn’t until Nat ran back to her room to grab her phone to ring Y/n, who arrived as fast as she could, out of breath due to her taking the stairs because ‘the elevator was taking too long’. Still in her pjs, her hair was dishevelled and pure panic was written all over her face. All it took was her saying his name to stop him from throwing another punch into Sam’s already bloody face. All it took was her to gently touch his face for him to snap back into reality.

Continuing when they all nod “- she wasn’t scared of him but for him. She was scared of the situation, scared of us hating him for what had happened. But never scared of Bucky. And the other day when Peter ran into him making him spill his drink? He had to take his shirt off right, the names she calls Hydra when she saw the scar on his shoulder would make a sailor blush” chuckling at the memory of that day “She’s even thought of how she was going to make Hydra pay for what they did to her Bucky, she’d put you to shame Natty. She loves him so don’t worry Steve; she’s not going to hurt him.”

Steve smiles softly “Thankyou”

~~~

~ 20 minutes earlier ~

“No” pulling his hand away “Baby I said no, we’re not going outside. It’s raining baby and I don’t want you getting ill”

“Please Buck I want to dance in the rain!”

“You’ll get ill”

“You’ll nurse me back to health” smirking with her eyebrow raised.

“There’s no music” he copies her expression.

“Don’t need music”

“It’s raining”

“It’s romantic”

Sighing, he knows she knows he close to giving up but he’s determined to get his own way this time “No Y/n now sit that pretty arse down and watch Ricky and Morty”

“Rick and Morty”

“That’s what I said”

“No you said Ricky when it’s Rick. Anyways come and dance in the rain with me”

“Don’t even think about it” is all he says when he notices the change in her body language.

“You asked for this Bucko, you only have yourself to blame” inhaling a deep breath and exhaling slowly - she winks at him “please please please please please please please please please plea-“

“God damn it you crazy woman, let’s go then”

“Love you”

“Yeah yeah love you too”

~~~

The rain falls lightly as they make their way outside, even though he’s annoyed with himself for giving in he can’t help the smile that creeps it’s way on to his face, especially not when his girl has a huge smile on her pretty face.

Gently clasping her hands in his, he pulls her into him “have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“Everyday, but tell me again” smiling up at him she makes no attempt to get rid of the raindrop that landed on her eyelashes.

“I. Love. You. More. Then. Anything” each of his words are ended with a kiss to her lips.

“I love you too James. Can we slow dance?”

“Of course, my love”

As the rain continues to fall the pair slow dance already getting drenched Bucky hums a tune, one that she doesn’t recognise. A surprised squeal escapes Y/n lips when Bucky spins her around.

“We’ve got an audience” she confesses.

“Who?”

“Wanda, Nat, Sam and Steve”

They both burst out laughing when Bucky looks up and the four Avengers standing in front of the window drops down to the floor.

“They are aware we can still see them, right?”

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[whimsyfinny]

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut

Warnings: Nudity

Chapter Word Count: 2552

—-MDNI—-

A/N: sorry this one took a while! I’ve had so much going on, I’ve struggled to get time to myself. I wrote this over the course of several nights so pls let me know of any errors as it’s only proof read by me

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Please read the below first:

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

I’m Not Your F*cking Maid

Chapter 7

Dean and I stood side by side in the dimly lit parking lot, trying not to make eye contact with each other as Sam stood in front of us; arms folded across his chest with his foot tapping impatiently. He gnawed on his bottom lip, frowning and shaking his head. He was the spitting image of an angry mother.

“You did what?” He asked, disbelief in his voice.

“Look, Sammy,” Dean started and I was unable to tell if he was about to be boastful or apologetic.

“Don’t you ‘look Sammy’ me. We’re on a job Dean, couldn’t you have kept it in your pants a bit longer?”

“Sam I’m so sorry, we didn’t mean for it to happen, it just sort of…did,” I stepped in, embarrassment taking over as I caught sight of my reflection in the Impalas drivers side window. My hair was tousled and my lipstick was almost completely worn off save for a few streaks under my bottom lip. That, and also the fact that my shredded underwear was currently scrunched up in Deans pocket. I couldn’t tell if I was more horrified when I saw him pick them up off the study floor and ‘save them for later’, or the fact that I may have developed a new kink for having my panties sliced off my body with a hunting knife.

“(Y/n),” Sam’s eyes softened, “you have nothing to apologise for; Dean should know better.” His words made Dean scoff.

“She’s not all sunshine and rainbows Sam, she’s the one who started it.”

“I did not! I only told you to kiss me, not fuck me into that desk!”

Sam’s eyes widened and his ears went pink, Dean snapping back at me before the younger brother had a chance to think.

“Yes you did.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Did.”

“Didn’t.”

“Yes, you definitely did. Don’t lie,” he paused, his tone changing, “you can’t deny it sweetheart - you wanted me,” Dean smirked, gesturing to himself.

“Ok, prove it - what did I say?” I crossed my arms across my chest, remembering I wasn’t wearing a bra. His smirk grew, suddenly making me very aware that I was most likely wrong about this and he was going to be obnoxious about the fact that he was right.

“You said - and I quote - ‘are you gonna fuck me or what, Winchester?’ Now to me, that sounds like you instigating this.”

I scowled at him, wanting to slap that lipstick-smeared smirk right off his face.

“Fuck you,” I spat, rapidly having to cross my legs where I stood as I started to feel more ‘essence of Dean’ trickle down my thigh.

“You already did darlin’.”

“Ok ENOUGH!” Sam got between us, putting up his hands, “let’s just finish the job and go home. But just so you know,” he pointed at us, “you are BOTH in VERY big trouble.”

*

The ride back to the bunker was a little awkward. I sat in the back, not wanting to move too much for fear of making a mess on the impeccable upholstery and Sam sat in total silence, giving us both the cold shoulder. Dean however drove the whole way home with the biggest grin on his face, occasionally glancing at me in the rear view mirror. Sam had taken the liberty of packing everyone’s luggage into the Impala before we had even left the auction house, so I wasn’t even granted the simple pleasure of washing Deans intoxicating scent from my hair in the motel shower. I just had to sit there for the next three hours breathing him in and replaying every red hot second of our time together in that study.

*

Dean pulled into the underground garage to the bunker and before he’d even put it in park I’d thrown the door open and jumped out, racing back to my room. I heard Dean shout after me but I had sprinted too far to know what he’d said. I ran through the corridors like a princess in a castle; long dress bunched up in my fists so I didn’t trip, with the rest billowing behind me as I frantically searched for my destination in this labyrinth. Upon reaching my door I flung it open and raced inside, slamming it behind me. I paced into the bathroom, heels clicking on the tiles and flicked on the light before turning the shower on and wincing at the loud clanking still coming from the plumbing in here. As the water began to patter into the shower basin I hurriedly peeled off my shoes and my dress before sticking my toe into the water now pooling in the bottom. The moment it was the perfect temperature I stepped in, sighing as the liquid poured over me and washed away the electric tingle on my skin left behind by the older Winchesters hands. I felt normal again, and much less sticky too as I lathered soap over myself. I couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as I slid down the tiles and sat down, letting the shower soak my hair. I tried my best to steady my mind and be calm, but all that I could think about was Dean. The way he touched me, running his rough hands over my soft skin. The way said my name; moaning it in a deep breathless voice. And oh boy… the way his mouth felt on mine was like something out of this world, the taste of him alone made me dizzy. I wanted to run to wherever he was right now and press my lips to his - to get high off of him again. It’s a crying shame that he’s such a jackass, so naturally I’m reluctant to give him the satisfaction. He’d be smug for days - or weeks - if I even mentioned that this was how I was feeling, let alone if I was actually acting on the impulses.

I must’ve sat in the bottom of the shower for at least twenty minutes, my brain going over the events on a loop, replaying again and again. In the end I gave up trying to silence my thoughts and turned off the water, stepped out of the shower and wrapped a fuzzy white towel around myself. I grabbed a smaller second towel and dried my hair, leaving it damp but not dripping as I walked into the bedroom. I searched for my duffle for a few minutes before it dawned on me: it was still in the car. ALL of my clothes were in there.

“Shit shit shit shit,” I searched through the wardrobe and dresser in the room, hoping to find something, ANYTHING, that I could wear to go and retrieve my bag but there was nothing to be found. I sat on the edge of the bed contemplating my options as I started to shiver, my damp hair making me cold. I considered wearing the dress again, but the stains on it made me think otherwise as I was now clean and fresh from the shower. My eyes darted to the door. There’s only one option: theft. Deans room was right opposite mine and he didn’t spend much time in there so the chances of me running into him were slim. I stood up, determination coursing through me as I marched to my bedroom door, opened it and quietly stepped into the hallway. I looked left and right, sighing in relief at the emptiness. I quietly padded across to Deans door, incredibly aware of how cold the air was out here. I grasped the handle and twisted, the door opening with a small click.

“Yes!” I whispered to myself, grateful it was already unlocked. Ducking in I closed the door behind me and spun around, pressing my back to the cool wood to observe the room. Eyes widening, my blood ran cold and I dropped to the floor. Dean was asleep - or so he seemed to be - above the covers and still fully dressed in his suit, a nudie mag open and covering his face. He had one hand behind his head and the other rested on his stomach, rising and falling with each breath. FUCK. I looked around whilst on all fours, feeling the dust from the floor sticking to my damp skin. So much for the shower. I spotted Deans dresser off to the side of the room; if he was asleep, I should be able to sneak in, grab a T-shirt and sneak out again with no problem. I crawled over to the drawers and started sliding them open painfully slowly to inspect the contents. It wasn’t until I opened the fourth drawer that I struck gold. Silently cheering to myself I snatched the first T-shirt I saw and pushed the draw closed. As I turned around to leave I near enough jumped out of my skin, shrieking a little. Dean was now laying on his side, head propped up with one hand and he watched me in total silence, the corner of his lips turned up.

“You need any help down there?” His voice was low and gravelly.

“No thank you,” I stood up, clutching his T-shirt in one hand and trying not to let my towel fall with the other, the corner now refusing to tuck in. “I got what I came for.”

“And you need one of my T-shirts because…?”

“None of your business,” I taunted, inching my way towards the door. Dean raised an eyebrow.

“It is if you’re being a little thief.”

“I’m only borrowing it.”

“Sure you are sweetheart,” he grinned, turning to lay on his back again, this time propped up on his pillows against the headboard with his hands behind his head. There was silence for a few moments as he chewed on his bottom lip, eyeing me up and down. He made me feel totally exposed. Out of nowhere he jumped up, reaching me where I stood by the door in one swift movement.

“I tell you what - you can keep the T-shirt for life on one condition,” he stepped closer, those piercing green eyes keeping mine entranced. I swallowed.

“What condition…?” My voice suddenly felt very small and quiet as a result of his close proximity.

“Drop the towel and put it on.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

I wasn’t able to stop the heat rising to my cheeks and I couldn’t tell if it was from frustration at his arrogance or the fact that the low rumble of his voice was making my knees weak. The words bouncing off the walls in my mind failed to leave my lips, and in my silence he spoke up again.

“Or unless you’re happy walking all the way to the garage in nothing but a towel, you still have the option to refuse.” I scowled and smacked his chest.

“You knew?! If you knew I’d left my bag behind, why didn’t you bring it?”

“Because,” he put his hand on the wall beside my head and leaned in a little, “where’s the fun in that?” I tried my best to hold his gaze, fighting every urge to look away as my heart started to beat faster and faster. I’ve already fucked the man so what have I got to lose? I placed my hands firmly on Deans chest and pushed with enough force to knock him back, the backs of his knees hitting the edge of the bed, making him collapse onto it. Leaning back on his hands he looked at me expectantly as I took a step towards him and away from the door. I tried my best to keep a stern expression, refusing to let him know that any of this was affecting me - the last thing I wanted was for smug old Dean Winchester to know that everything he does makes my heart hammer in my chest. I threw the T-shirt at him, hard enough that he was taken aback as he clutched the dark fabric in his large hands. A look of disappointment started to cross his face before I reached up and untucked my towel letting it fall to the floor as I stood in front of him, fighting every urge not to cover myself up. At first I was unable to look him in the eye, scared of what that alluring evergreen stare would do to me if I did. Eventually I caved in, biting my lip as I saw how entranced he was; eyes flitting over every curve on my body, studying me like a work of art. I watched him swallow, throat bobbing as he licked his lips, jaw going slack and his pupils dilating. He was silent. I took another step forward so I was in reach of him and his hand immediately shot out to touch my thigh. Right as his fingers grazed my skin I smacked his hand away, pulling him from his trance.

“Please…” was all he managed to say, all cockiness gone from his attitude. I snatched the T-shirt from his loose grip, pulling it on over my head and down over my body, finally covering myself from his burning hot gaze. Dean was finally pulled from his trance when he could no longer see the curves of my figure, his eyes eventually meeting mine again. He looked a little flustered, his hands now crossed in his lap.

“My clothes look good on you,” he said, an unusual tone to his voice - something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. He eyed my chest, observing the way the loose black fabric fell over the soft curves of my breasts and did little to hide my perky nipples. His eyes travelled south, surveying the rest of me before stopping and lingering at my thighs right where his top ends, hinting at the shape of my ass cheeks hiding underneath. He probably would have sat there all evening and ogled at me, however I could feel the tiredness start to hang heavy in my body and weigh on my eyelids, getting worse as the minutes passed. I groaned internally, remembering I still needed to go and get my duffle. But there was something about the way that Dean was looking at me that was making it hard to leave. I took a few more steps towards him until I was standing between his knees, swatting his hands away as they skimmed the backs of my thighs, sending goosebumps over my skin. I grabbed his chin unexpectedly, making him flinch. However it was only a matter of seconds until he was like putty in my hands. His muscles relaxed and he looked up at me with hooded eyes, mouth agape as I tilted his chin up to face me. I leaned down, our lips millimetres apart as I felt his hot rapid breath fan over my cheeks. I watched his pupils blow wide at the close proximity, a shiver ghosting over his skin as he stared up at me.

“Goodnight Dean,” I hummed, before letting go and standing up straight, turning to leave the room. I picked up my towel and opened the door, looking over my shoulder one last time to witness the starstruck Winchester sitting in a daze right where I left him.

“Thanks for the T-shirt.”

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Up Next:

Chapter 8 part 1

[moonlightisdancing]

Simplicity of Love/ s.f.k

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x Female Reader

Word Count: 1078

Warnings: SFW, just super gushy tooth rot, bf sammy, there is a showering bit but its still SFW

A/N: i’m having a sam down and the more candids i see of him, the worse it gets, hence this

❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀

Birds chirping, a soft breeze blowing under the curtains and the soft sound of a gentle piano in the distance dancing through the air. The smell of fresh coffee pours into the bedroom shared between you and Sam. You roll out of bed wearing nothing but one of his shirts and your underwear, feet gently making their way to the sound of ‘Unchained Melody’ coming from the livingroom, the patter of puppy paws following.

“There she is! Good morning sunshine! And good morning my little Rosie.” Sam looked up from his piano excitedly at you, reaching down to give Rosie her ‘good morning’ pets.

“Good morning, my Sammy,” you reply, still coming to your senses.

You look around and see that Sam had made breakfast for the two of you. A bouquet of wild flowers picked from the yard sat in a tiny glass cup in the middle of the table, surrounded by his little breakfast set up. He made avocado toast and tried out a new recipe for tofu he found that was supposed to mimic eggs.

“I picked some tomatoes from our garden to cook into the ‘eggs’, I’m hoping it tastes as good as it looks…” He sounds unsure of his cooking ability, but it was no secret Sam was the chef in this relationship.

Sam walks up behind you and holds you in his arms. Intertwining his fingers with yours, he sways you side to side, peppering your cheek and neck with kisses. You lean your head back to rest on his chest, feeling the warmth from his body against yours.

“I could stay like this forever, but I don’t want all your hard work to get cold.” You ushered him to the table. Sam’s arms are your favorite place to be and knowing that, he would keep you like that all day given the chance.

Sam ignored your gesture and pulled out your chair before bringing over coffee for the two of you. He places your “Dog Mom'' mug in front of you and kisses your temple before returning to his seat across from you. His coffee is steaming in his “Girl Dad '' mug that you had custom made with a picture of him and Rosebud on it.

“I was thinking we hit the record store today,” He takes a sip of his coffee, “we can get lunch at that new cafe too if that sounds good to you.”

“That sounds great, Sammy.” You watched a big smile grow on his face, his brown eyes glistening at you from the other side of the table.

You considered these kinds of days dates, even if Sam didn’t feel they were special enough for you to call them such. Walking around the record store with your arm in his, looking for new music to share with each other, it’s simple but it’s love. After breakfast, you try to beat Sam to cleaning up the table. He suggests you play rock, paper, scissors and the loser cleans the table. He distracts you so he can change his move and purposely lose.

“Awh man, I lost again,” Sam sucks his teeth, “guess that means YOU get your butt out of my kitchen, and I’ll get this cleaned up!”

You go to the room to gather an outfit for Sam and yourself, and clean towels for a shower before you guys head out. You grab your matching lotion and shower gel in Sam’s favorite scent, “In The Stars.” You start the shower so it can warm up, the feeling of familiar hands grabs your waist. When you turn around, you’re met with Sam’s tall, slim figure. He’s so effortlessly gorgeous, beautiful tan skin, perfect teeth, his big brown eyes and long shiny hair. Sam is by far your favorite sight. You begin undressing each other for your shower, something you always did without it being sexual in nature. Sam kisses your neck before he opens the shower door for you to get in, him following swiftly behind.

Sam holds you close, arms wrapped around your shoulders, your body to his, as the water runs around and between you both. He rests his chin on your head and runs his hand up and down your shoulder, gently swaying while humming ‘Here Comes the Sun’. Feeling the rise and fall of his chest with your cheek pressed against him made the shower feel that much warmer. Sam reaches over to the shampoo bottle, he pumps a little into his palm and starts massaging your scalp, still pressed against his chest. Once he’s done he spins you around under the water and rinses your hair, running his fingers through to make sure all the soap is out. You begin washing Sam’s hair, although less graceful due to the height difference. He tips his head down for you so you can scrub the top. Sam rinses his own hair for the sake of your arms. As you begin soaping up his grey loofah, he gently pours soap into your pink one. Taking turns you begin washing each other, placing gentle kisses in secret spots. You bring the shower head down to rinse off Sam and he returns the favor.

He gets the shower door once more allowing you to exit before him. Covering yourself up first, you bring Sam’s towel over to him and wrap it around his waist. Sam stands behind you in the foggy mirror, hand around your hips as you guys brush your teeth together. Afterwards he sits on the closed toilet lid so you can apply skin care to both you and him. An intense skincare routine wasn’t usually Sam’s thing, but on days where you showered together he enjoyed the pampering. After teeth were brushed and skincare was applied, you two get dressed in preselected outfits, ready to take on your day out in Nashville together.

There’s simplicity in life with Sam. He’s always open about what he wants and how he feels. He shows you videos of cute baby animals, picks you flowers from outside, and is always eager to show you what new melody he’s been working on. He takes pride in the home the two of you have built together, the garden, the memories made, all of it. Sam’s qualities make him easy to love, and over time he’s shown you how to love and be loved. It’s painfully obvious to everyone how much loves his girls, and you couldn’t have asked for a better partner.

[sweetangelanon]

I've talked about William before in the new time line being kind to the kids he previously killed. That at first it would just be a boss being seemingly extra nice to random customers.

I feel like, given this is his second chance and he def believes in superstitions if any of the previous kids are friends with his kids or Henry's kids he'll find new ways to... metal in their lives (for what he assumes in the better.*) and give gifts or just talk with the parents. Which is honestly sickening because he so clearly remembers what it was like to watch these families fall apart. In the past he was there patting their shoulders, comforting them, speaking on how they would find who did this and bring them to justice. And here he is again a fresh clean slate. Worming himself into their lives again but for a whole other purpose. One of the thoughts I had was with Fritz where he needs eye surgery done or something and his parents can't afford it. But, you know who can? William Afton baby and he pays for that shit. And Fritz dad is so tearful, thankful to him, begging him to just let him pay William back. Will just smiles like a kindly God, resting his hand upon the other man's shoulder and telling him he couldn't even think of accepting the money. He's just happy to know Fritz is okay. He still has beef with Cassidy though because of the bullshit she put him through LMAO. Mixed with him wondering if he could nurture her hate/rage to make her his new protegee.

Thinking about Oz who recognizes these faces, is meeting these kids that he read about in newspapers back in his time. Sometimes looks at them and remembers the gory descriptors on a radio recording he found on youtube. Between blinks he only sees dead bodies standing in front of him before they seem normal again. I don't know if he could ever really be... friends with any of them. I just feel like he'd freak out to much in front of them to the point all of the kids in the MCI are like "this kid is super weird....." like GOD GOD YOU DON'T KNOWWW YOU DON'T KNOWWWW. I can't get into charlie, I mean i can but also that is even worse. Because we know he kills Mary Ann, makes it seem like she disappeared/ran off. Henry falls into a depressive state, William convinces this man to move in with him an his family WHICH WAS ONE OF HIS BIGGER PLANS FROM THE START. He wanted a reason to move house so that his family wasn't in the same house that their life went 'wrong' at. He wanted a clean slate, a fresh start. And Henry's like "but Will I- I can't impose like this I just-" and Will just puts a finger to his lips going "shhh shh it's okay henry," brushing back a bit of his hair while smiling going "what are friends for?" and henry cries while william is inwardly like yess tehehe the man i've been obsessed with for years lives under my ROOF NOW YIPPEEE HE'S MINE FOREVER!!!!!!!

Which means he can get his hands on charlie and sam.

He didn't get sammy before because after mary ann died in the first timeline and henry kinda lost his mind folks were like "yeah we just don't think u are fit for taking care of a kid' and handed him off to his aunt.... Which aunt idk man not sure if I want to give henry a sister like he had in the books.... will have to think about it. Anyway they all get a bigger house obviously and while Oz is like "thank god I don't have to share a bedroom with Evan anymore" he's also like "oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck" as there are now MORE people in the house and his autistic ass can NOT HANDLE CHANGE HE IS FREAKING THE FUCK OUTTTTTT. IT'S SO LOUD IN HERE HE'S SCREAMING FOR HELP HE'S BEGGING LET HIM OUTTTT. anyway yeah so like Henry basically becomes third parent. There's nothing romantic going on btw William's just obsessed with Henry and gay about it. This time around Amee is AWARE of these feelings since Will sat down and told her about how he felt/ that he was queer and it's a whole cry moment cuz he had never gotten around to really telling anyone back then about THE GAY THOUGHTS!!!!!! Henry sorta had an idea, the vibes you know but it was never openly discussed like it is in this new timeline. And she kisses him and tells him this doesn't change how she feels about him an that she still loves him to the moon and back an im gonna YARF over how sickly in love she is with him UGH.

Anyway this change brings upon the him nurturing the traits he sees as 'Henry's' in Charlie and Sammy so he can forget about Mary Ann ever being a thing. Everything is awful as the kids are unknowingly lead down a particular path that Will thinks is the right one for them and finds himself able to actally love them this time around. (I hate him!!!!!) Though during the process of trying to squish these two into his heart in the beginning if anything happened that didn't go to plan or he was annoyed he'd just close his eyes and think about how he murdered Charlie in the alleyway yikes.......... as a way to calm down..........

**When I was writing this out I had an example of an idea of what type of metaling he'd be doing. As we all know Fritz mom hates his ass rip. I'm thinking she's flat out cheating on her husband with another man because she hates the way her life is going and hates her 'defective' son. So yeah anyway William metaling and gives Fritz dad bread crumbs leading him on this hunt where in the end he finds out his wife has been cheating on him. So much upheaval happens because of it. William's like "well it's better like this she hated her kid anyway and was nothing but trouble I'm def making Fritz life better" and like yeah okay you have a point but also you do this in the meanest way possible dragging out this whole thing instead of just telling it to this man STRAIGHT. you could've come up with a lie that you saw her kissing some other dude while you where out BUT NOOOO NOOO HE JUST DRAGS IT OUT LIKE A LITTLE GAME AND IS GOING tehehe ur getting closer buddy!!!

[azurethevampire]

"You are still as cuddly as you were when you were little." For supernatural? I just started watching again and I miss seeing platonic fics for it 🥺❤️

Hope you enjoy! ♥

•-•-•-•-•-•

Two years. 

It didn’t seem that long of a time for Sam and Dean in the end. For you though? When Sam had left you had been just shy of being a teenager. Now you were almost fifteen and for someone who was still growing two years felt like a lifetime. 

You had changed since you last saw Sam. You had grown. Maybe that was why you basically avoided him for the first month during your search for your dad. Dean noticed, of course he did, and he told you – in not so many words – that you were being foolish. Sam was still your big brother just like he was. 

A part in you knew that you were being stupid. You had missed Sam so much when he was away. The rare calls you had managed during the two years didn’t mean a thing to that feeling of utter loss you had felt all the time when Sam had been in college. 

You wanted nothing more than to curl up next to Sam on the narrow motel bed and he would read to you until you fell asleep like he had done when you were younger. But you weren’t a little kid anymore. And Sam, while he was the same brother, he also wasn’t. You couldn’t ask him to read to you like that again, could you? Would he think you were being a baby? 

He wouldn’t, you told yourself firmly then. 

It so happened that Sam was the one to present you with a solution to your inner turmoil. 

•-•-•-•-•-•

Dean was going to do some interviewing alone for the case your brothers were currently on. You helped with research mostly as Dean was strict about your dad’s rule of no hunting for you yet. 

With Dean gone, that left you and Sam alone in the motel room. 

There was a small worn-down sofa in the room that you were sitting on, absentmindedly flipping through some books about folktales from the area when you felt the fabric gave way when another person sat next to you. 

“Have you found anything interesting from those?” 

You rubbed your eyes and glanced at your wrist before answering Sam’s question. It was already over ten o’clock in the evening. No wonder you were starting to get tired. 

“No”, you said, leaning back to the backrest of the sofa and bringing your feet up. “I don’t think that whatever it is that is tormenting this town is related to any of that”, you made a gesture for the books. 

“So, uh…”, Sam began hesitantly. “We haven’t really had a chance to really talk since…” he stopped and you knew what he was thinking about. Jessica, and the fire. “Are you- are you avoiding me, Y/N?” 

You physically flinched at that because you hadn’t prepared yourself for the straight question. 

“Was it something I did? You have to let me know if it was because I really did miss you so much over the two years.” 

“I missed you too, Sam”, you mumble, picking at your shirt sleeve. “I just… It’s stupid.” 

“I doubt it.” And suddenly there was an arm around your shoulders pulling you against Sam’s side. With that contact, the invisible barrier you had put up between your brother and you, broke. 

You snuggled closer to your brother, leaning your head against his shoulder. 

Sam chuckled suddenly. “I see you’re still as cuddly as you were when you were little.” 

You hid your smile against Sam’s shoulder.

“I love you, little sis”, Sam said and you felt him kiss the side of your head. 

You hugged him tighter. “I love you too, Sammy.” 

Then after a silent moment, you spoke up. “Sam? Can you read to me again until I fall asleep– like you used to do before?” 

Sam agreed and after all you might be older than two years ago but you were still you and Sam was still the same brother you remembered. 

[cas-coding]

If the drive to Stanford is hell, the look in Sam’s eyes when he sees Dean for the first time in years is worse. Dean knows he looks different, his cheekbones much more prominent and an Adam’s apple sitting under his chin. Sam nearly jumps when Dean speaks, stinging Dean to his core. He’d forgotten that this wasn’t what he used to sound like, that he had to pump himself full of testosterone each week, testosterone that he hadn’t managed to get any sooner than twenty-three.

That was long after Sam left.

The ride in the Impala is a quiet one, the tension between the brothers weighing them down. It wasn’t even about their dad or the hunt, it was about Dean. It was about how Dean’s chest is flat, how his voice is deep, how he actually looks like a Dean, how Jess had looked at Sam and said, “Oh, Sam, I didn’t know you had a brother too!”

Eventually, Dean caves, tired of Sam’s eyes on him. “Go ahead. Ask what you want to ask,” he spits, his hands tight on the wheel.

Sam sighs beside Dean, rolling his eyes before looking out the window. “What’s going on?”

“Dad’s missing, I thought I said that,” Dean replies, but that’s not what Sam’s talking about. He’s just gotta be sure before saying it all, making sure Sam actually wants to hear it, actually cares about Dean after all this time.

Snorting, Sam turns to look at Dean again. “Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. Now what’s going on with you? You’ve,” Sam pauses, searching for a word, “Changed since i left, so I have to ask: was it me?”

“No,” Dean admits, his eyes fixed on the road ahead of them. It falls silent again before Dean clears his throat, snapping, “We’re done now?”

He’s not one to talk about his feelings; he never was. He didn’t say anything to their dad other than asking him to call him Dean, and besides a few smacks upside the head for not looking like Mary anymore, their dad was okay about it. It was easier to drag a son around than a daughter, Dean supposed.

They never talked about it, though. Dean would get mistaken for a boy on a hunt or two and as soon as they’d finish ganking the bitch, they’d all pile into Baby and then Sam would get nosy, asking why Dean didn’t say anything about being called John’s son. “Cause,” Dean would say, “It doesn’t matter. We’ll never see them again anyway.” That was the most they ever talked about it, and maybe that’s why rage bubbles up inside Dean when Sam speaks again.

“Dean, we’re family. Tell me what’s going on with you. You know what I mean,” Sam pushes, his tone sharp. His eyes nearly burn a hole into the side of Dean’s head before Dean pulls the Impala off the road, looking over at his brother.

“What is there to say, Sammy?” Dean snaps, looking out his window before biting at his lip. He had opened up this conversation, for starters, so why was he so keen on shutting it down? It wasn’t the end of the world; it wasn’t close to the scariest thing Dean had ever done, not by a long shot, so why did he want to open the car door and run, get as far away as possible?

Sam sighs, a big heave of air, and then he’s tapping his foot, shaking the car. “I just want to know what I missed. If you don’t wanna talk about it, whatever. Fine by me, but I’d listen. Just for the record,” Sam mumbles, and despite his low volume, he’s genuine. He’d listen to as much as Dean has to say, all because he’s a good brother.

Swallowing thickly, Dean closes his eyes, resting his forehead against the cold glass of the driver’s side window. It takes him a minute to sort himself out, put the words in the right order, but then he’s speaking, his voice rough as he explains. “Not much to it, really, nothing you don’t already know. I’ve been Dean as long as I can remember, even back before Mom died. I just got the chance to look more like it a year or so after you left,” he says, vaguely gesturing with his hand, “Snagged some medication, pump myself full of it every Thursday, and then boom. Voice drops, stubble grows in, cheekbones get all handsome. Magic of modern medicine, hey?”

“I guess,” Sam replies, cut and dry, and part of Dean is itching to look over at his brother, gauge his reaction, but he can’t, afraid of what he might see in his brother’s face. Eventually, curiosity wins over, Dean shifting just a bit in his seat to pop one eye open and take a glance, getting an eyeful of nothing. Sam looked like Sam, just like he had ten minutes ago, just like he had ten years ago.

Sam clears his throat, letting out a chuckle. “You can look at me, Dean, I’m not gonna bite,” he laughs, and Dean snaps his head up, making eye contact with his brother. “It’s fine, really,” Sam reinforces, “It’s cool. You seem like, I don’t know,” Sam shrugs, “You.”

“Well, I’m glad,” Dean snorts, “Took a lot to ‘seem like me.’ Time, scars, money,” he laughs, “’Course, none of the money was mine, but David Johnson’s going to get a hell of a hospital bill for the whole,” Dean vaguely gestures to his chest, “This removal.”

Then it’s Sam’s turn to snort, letting out a string of laughter. “Yeah, how many hunts did you have to sit out waiting for that to heal?”

“Well, tore my stitches out twice, but I was back in the game within three days,” Dean says, practically puffing his chest out. He shouldn’t feel some sense of pride over the fact that he’d stitched his chest back together with dental floss, but it did make him sound ten times more badass than Sam ever was, and that makes him smile.

“Dude!” Sam shouts, a smile pulled tight across his face, “The, like, number one rule of the universe is don’t fuck with stitches? What did you do? You fucked with your stitches!”

They’re both overcome with laughter, struggling to pull in air as they laugh so hard tears come to their eyes, and then Dean knows. This is what brotherhood feels like, and it’s the best feeling in the world.

[marvelsdc22]

Fault

Summary: When life and stress gets to you, you make a decision, whether it was a good decision or not is a different story.

Before you knew it, a week had passed and you were slowly becoming more comfortable with the town that you were staying at, making some friends with some of the locals, there was of course Sammy at the Inn but there was also Issac at the Surf Shop who has been trying to get you to join him on some lessons with the surf boards, stating “It’ll help you be able to do PT for yourself AND help give you something fun to do here”  you would be lying to yourself if you said that you weren’t tempted to do it, there was also Sean who owned Blvck Market who was always kind to you but you mostly spoke with one of his workers, Benny, who was trying their damnedest to get you to buy the ring you had been eyeing for Lena, but you always hesitated, especially after what you just did, you figured that she would want nothing to do with you.

Heading out of the Inn, making sure to wave to Sammy on your way out, you finally turned your phone back on after having left it off since you turned it off the first day here, knowing you had to say something to try to ease your friends and family, heading across the way to the cafe, you were greeted by Hana, her giving you her usual smile “Usual?” She asked, this place having become one of your daily stops so you had quickly become a regular “Please” you smiled before going and claiming your usual spot in the corner, taking a deep breath before you finally hit the call button.

You listened as the phone rang once, twice she’s not going to- you heard your mothers voice finally fill your ears “Y/N! Oh my god, don’t you ever do that again, I was worried sick about you, Lena is worried sick about you!” She scolded, hearing the relief in her words but you still winced since while you deserved the scolding, it still didn’t feel good “I know… I’m sorry, I just… I needed some space” you apologized, biting your lip and giving Hana a small smile when she set your drink and chocolate scone in front of you.

“Where are you? Are you safe? Do I need to come get you?” She asked, shooting off the questions faster than you had the chance to answer which made you chuckle slightly “I’m in Rhode Island… I’m safe… And no, you don’t have to come get me, I’m actually feeling quite at ease here” you said, leaning back slightly as you tapped your finger on the table in front of you “Is Lena okay?” Biting your lip as you asked the one question that’s been gnawing at you this entire time.

You heard your mother let out a sigh “She’s upset and worried, she’s been drowning herself in her work when she’s not trying to look for you or reach out to you” she told you, knowing it probably wasn’t the news that you wanted to hear but it was all the information she had to give you, Lena was even ignoring her calls with how much she buried herself in her work.

It didn’t make you feel better hearing that, but you were glad to know that she was still around either way, knowing that she was going to be your next call, that was going to be a rough phone call so you changed topics with your mom, assuring her that you were doing okay here and that you would be back in a few weeks, promising her that you would see a doctor while you were here to help make sure everything was going well with your stump before you both said your goodbyes.

By the time you finally got the courage to call Lena, you had already finished your coffee and half of your scone, it feeling like a pit in your stomach as you hit the call button, the phone barely ringing before Lena picked up, sounding frantic “Y/N?” She asked, making your heart pang in your chest “Hi…” you answered, wincing once more when she let out a harsh laugh of disbelief “You run away and ghost me for a week and all you have to say to me is ‘hi’?” She asked, all the anger finally bubbling up.

“I know… I’m sorry and I know that’s not going to fix what I did, I needed space and I should’ve just talked to you instead of just up and leaving, everything was getting to me, it was suffocating me and I just needed to get away and I thought me giving you space would let you actually be able to live-” “Y/N,-” she interrupted “-like you just said you could’ve talked to me… We’re a team, I would’ve given you what you needed, I have plenty to do to get ready for the school year, why did you just leave? Was it me? Did I do something?” She asked, that having been nagging her since the day you left.

You quickly shook your head before you remembered that she couldn’t see you “No, baby no… It was nothing you did, it was all me and I am so sorry for worrying you” you stated, feeling your heart clench at the thought of her thinking that it was because of her that you had left “I promise that we can now talk everyday, I’m feeling better and I miss you” you admitted, biting your lip at the silence you got in return “I miss you too, but…” oh no, not the dreaded but “I need time, I don’t want to just take you back and you just leave again… We’ve been through too much for you to not trust me with something like this, I know I’ll always love you but I don’t know if we can go back to being an ‘us’, I can’t take this heartache anymore”.

You sat on the line, that dreaded beep having hit your ear several minutes ago as you sat there and processed what had just happened, you and Lena were no more… And it was all your fault.

Taglist:

@unexpected-character

[dangerouscowboyfrog]

Ways I think Destiel could have ended because my brain likes to see me suffer.

Castilel telling Dean how he feels (you changed me etc.) and Dean just staring at him for a moment knowing what this means, what it always means, before moving in, kissing Cas like he never kissed anyone before. It's a short broken and messy kiss, but that's all they get, all they ever got. Dean holds on to Cas, aware of what happens next, what always happens. Cas pushing his love away, letting the empty tkae him to safe the men he fell for.

Dean not letting himself being pushed away, grabbing onto Cas like a drowning man would grab a plank. The empty slowly crawling towards Cas, so painfully slow and inevitable. "I can't loose you. Not again" Deans voice is rough and low, the tears he held back being set free. Cas shakes his head, another tear falling down. The last words the angel heard before they both got drowned by darkness were spoken with the softest voice Cas ever heard. "I love you too Cas. Of course I do."

Dean is in heaven. The way he went out wasn't really how he wanted to go, but when does a Winchester ever get what he wants? The hunter looked around, a smile appearing on his now younger face. His baby, his Impala was here too. The brunette walked to his car without a second thought, slowly opening the door. It felt wrong. Whenever he drove his baby there was always someone next to him. His Das, Sammy or- ...or Castiel. Dean sighed. With a heavy heart he gets into the car. Just when he wanted to start the motor, a familiar rustle of feathers was heard next to him. Dean freezes, not daring to look up, this can't be he can't face another fake Castiel he- "Hello Dean" Still frozen in place but now with tears falling freely on his cheeks. Slowly still not daring to look up did the green eyed man raise his head. A hand touches his face cupping it with soft hands and finally Dean looks up. There he was. The love of his life, his Angel his savior his best friend. The soft smile was filled with love and adoration. Deans hoarse voice cut through the silnce. "Dammit Cas... I thought I lost you I- I-", his voice broke away. Cas let go of Deans face pulling him into a warm hug. "I love you too Cas, I love you so so much I'm so sorry I couldn't say it I lost you I couldn't I-". Castiel listened. He whispered into the hunters ear that it's okay and that it wasn't his fault. They didn't break their hug for a long long time.

The empty appears lo ot out of nowhere. The black tentacles giving of a disgusting sound. Castiel pushes Dean away from him, away from the dangerous black goo. Just in time. Only moment later and the door is flying through the room, death rushing in. They stop dead on their way to their victims as they realize what's going on. Without giving death a chance to fight the black goo shoots towards them to grab and take them into the everlasting darkness. Castiel doesn't care about that, not breaking eye contact with the human on the floor. A last tear falls as the angel turnes around, facing the black goo, ready to go. But no tentacles reach out for Castiel. Nothing happens. After a few seconds, a head made of goo appears in the black portal. "You gave me something good Castiel. I may still hate you, but for this pleasure I will grant you freedom." With those words the portal closes. Castiel falls to his knees legs weak from the thought of still being alive. Dean slowly stands up, not sure what he should say. He stays silent. Castiel breathes slow and thankfull before he stands up with a painful grunt. He turns around slowly and looks at Dean with eyes that scream of forgiveness and love. They fall into each other a hug turning into a desperate kiss. They stay like this for a long time.

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS

Andrea isn't as hard to get along with as she comes across as. She's just passionate about what she believes in and won't allow anyone to run over her.

AN IMPORTANT HEADCANON

Andrea wanted Woodbury and the Prison to get along so that they could build something of a better future for all the people that she cared about. She was blinded by her desire to have something normal with Philip (Governor) and she let her heart overrule her head. In the end, she paid the high price of being tortured and having to live with the PTSD from that encounter for a long time.

A USELESS HEADCANON

Andrea's birthday is December 17th. So Christmases and birthdays kind of ran together in her house.

POTENTIAL TRIGGERS

blood, gore, zombies, apocalyptic settings, etc.

SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ABOUT (WRITING) THEM

Andrea is so confident and self-assured that I get to pretend that I'm the same way when I play her.

SOMETHING YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW BEFORE WRITING WITH THEM

She's not one of my in high demand muses, so I welcome anyone wanting to play with her.

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS

Beth is usually dismissed as being naive and flighty, but when she puts her mind to something, she sees it through.

AN IMPORTANT HEADCANON

Beth used to help break the horses for the farm. So when they started raising horses for transportation, she insisted on being there whenever a foal was born so that they could get used to her from the very moment of their births.

A USELESS HEADCANON

Beth's favorite childhood show was Barney & Friends.

POTENTIAL TRIGGERS

blood, gore, zombies, apocalyptic settings, etc.

SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ABOUT (WRITING) THEM

I enjoy Beth's sweetness to people. Even those that may not deserve it.

SOMETHING YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW BEFORE WRITING WITH THEM

Beth is one of the two muses that I'm not as comfortable writing as she is nothing like me. The other being Shane Walsh.

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS

That Carol is heartless when it comes to children. This is not true. She just tries to protect her own heart and not get too close. This doesn't count with kids of those that she considers family.

AN IMPORTANT HEADCANON

Carol enjoyed sex with Ed. Ed wasn't always an asshole. It wasn't constant abuse. She loved the man at one time and wholeheartedly believed that he could and would change.

A USELESS HEADCANON

Carol's favorite color is red. Any and all shades of red, but the dark red is her favorite.

POTENTIAL TRIGGERS

blood, gore, zombies, apocalyptic settings, etc.

SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ABOUT (WRITING) THEM

I enjoy writing Carol because she goes from an abused housewife to a certified badass. I love playing all the parts from the beginning to the end.

SOMETHING YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW BEFORE WRITING WITH THEM

My Carol isn't the same as other people's Carols. I keep all parts of her canon and expand on them.

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS

There aren't any common misconceptions with Charley.

AN IMPORTANT HEADCANON

Charley will do anything and everything to protect Sammy. Even sacrifice themselves so that Sammy lives.

A USELESS HEADCANON

Charley has two published young adult science fiction books published under their real name.

POTENTIAL TRIGGERS

blood, gore, zombies, apocalyptic settings, etc.

SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ABOUT (WRITING) THEM

They are completely uncompromised by canon.

SOMETHING YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW BEFORE WRITING WITH THEM

Charley isn't for everyone, and I respect that. But they could be super fun if people would give them a chance.

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS

That Daryl has never had sex when he has had plenty of one-night stands.

AN IMPORTANT HEADCANON

Daryl was in love with Leah and considered giving up everything to go with her, but he's glad that things worked out the way they did because he wouldn't have supported her or her group going after Maggie and her group.

A USELESS HEADCANON

Daryl can hold his breath underwater for over a minute and a half.

POTENTIAL TRIGGERS

blood, gore, zombies, apocalyptic settings, etc.

SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ABOUT (WRITING) THEM

Daryl is so interesting. He's different from other characters as he has had to overcome abuse and rejection, and he's learned to love himself through the love of others for him.

SOMETHING YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW BEFORE WRITING WITH THEM

Daryl isn't a virgin. And I won't play him as such.

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS

Rick isn't a completely aloof idiot when it comes to affairs of the heart of his partners. He's just not good at talking about things.

AN IMPORTANT HEADCANON

Rick had truly forgiven Shane and Lori for sleeping together when they thought he was dead. He never blamed them, and he truly accepted Judith as his the minute Lori confirmed that she was pregnant. Nothing would have ever changed that.

A USELESS HEADCANON

Rick's favorite color is blue. That's why he wears a lot of blue shirts.

POTENTIAL TRIGGERS

SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ABOUT (WRITING) THEM

Rick is a lot like Carol in a lot of ways which makes him my favorite male muse to play across all fandoms that I roleplay in.

SOMETHING YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW BEFORE WRITING WITH THEM

Rick won't fall in love with anyone under the age of 25. It's just not happening. Probably pushing 30 if I'm being honest. He's just not into young people that he has nothing in common with.

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS

Shane isn't completely heartless. He's got a heart even if it doesn't always show.

AN IMPORTANT HEADCANON

Shane was molested by his father at age 11. His Grandma Jean walked in and caught her son molesting her grandson. She kicked his ass and then called the police on him and helped them find him to arrest him.

A USELESS HEADCANON

Shane's favorite color is orange.

POTENTIAL TRIGGERS

blood, gore, zombies, apocalyptic settings, etc.

SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ABOUT (WRITING) THEM

Shane is a tough son of a bitch with a heart. I like that.

SOMETHING YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW BEFORE WRITING WITH THEM

Shane is one of the two muses that are the hardest for me to write. So be patient with me if it takes me a bit to be okay with a plot for him and your muse.

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS

Sophia isn't weak. She learned from her mistakes and is stronger for them.

AN IMPORTANT HEADCANON

Sophia survives the farm and thrives until the bitter end to die old.

A USELESS HEADCANON

Sophia's favorite color is pink. Any and all shades of pink.

POTENTIAL TRIGGERSblood, gore, zombies, apocalyptic settings, etc.

SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ABOUT (WRITING) THEM

Sophia is my youngest muse, and I love playing someone that has been influenced the most by the world they're in.

SOMETHING YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW BEFORE WRITING WITH THEM

Sophia can be played at any age from 12 to whatever. Just ask if you want her to be older. But it will fall along the canon timeline so keep that in mind.

tagged by: @uncxntrxllable tagging: everyone that wants to do this one!

[berniecranes]

ii. sanctified

Lincoln adjusted his hands on the wheel, gripping it tightly. He let his eyes drift off the road and onto the sign he was speeding past. The sign read, 'Leaving New Bordeaux.' This almost didn't feel real, he couldn't believe he was finally passing this line and leaving home. He actually was able to leave, which now, it felt like a lifetime ago that he wasnted this. He can't help but wonder, what if he was able to do this all sooner? What if everything actually worked out as it was suppose to?

There was no point in lingering on the pass, what happened, happened. He will never regret what he did, he already made peace with that. Even more so, he still can't escape the words of The Father. That is what was important to Lincoln. Lincoln left for himself, but also for The Father. If there was any family he had left, it was him. He wanted to make things right. Hearing the Father give him his blessing to leave felt freeing. With this, it made Lincoln believe maybe he did have a chance of going back to normal. Trying to live a life again, because he knew whatever this was, wasn't it. It wasn't a life.

He had a long drive ahead of him, he didn't know what to expect, quite fully where he'd end up, but he's glad to get out. He needed to actually try to change, to do as he wanted originally. He couldn't let this feel like it was all for nothing. He knew Sammy and Ellis would understand, but that wasn't as easy as he hoped it be.

The breeze felt perfect, with the window rolled down and going at this speed. He couldn't feel worry. He couldn't feel the sadness of everything. He could only feel that never-ending heat and embraced the beautiful trees and landscape of the area for the last time.

[fuckyeahvanhalen86-95]

As Wolfgang Van Halen discussed in a recent conversation with The Messenger, he has his sights firmly set on the present, specifically a new album and tour dates featuring his solo band Mammoth WVH.

But with the Van Halen name comes endless drama. The band's well-established dysfunction didn't cease with the 2020 death of Eddie, the iconic shredder and Wolfgang's father; ever since, there has been nonstop chatter and bickering around the idea of a tribute show or tour, which bubbled up again last month when Sammy Hagar said that Alex Van Halen won't return his calls and that there's "no way" David Lee Roth would work with him.

For his part, Wolfgang simply says, "I view me just being alive and being in the music business as a tribute to my father every day."

Elaborating, he gave his candid take on the tribute-show rumors and discussed how playing Van Halen songs at last year's shows honoring late Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins gave him a chance to honor his father's legacy.

THE IDEA OF A TRIBUTE TO YOUR DAD KEEPS COMING UP. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY IT REMAINS SUCH AN ACTIVE CONVERSATION?

It's out of love and how many people my father's writing and playing touched around the world. But life isn't written to have a happy ending — some things just suck. And if I have to figure out how to have a life without my father in it, I think people can figure out how to live without Van Halen, because it can't happen. Dad's not here, Van Halen doesn't exist anymore as far as I'm concerned. The music and the legacy are there, and I'll be here to push that forth, through things like dad's guitar and amp company, and help in every single way.

The unfortunate thing in comparison to what Dave Grohl was able to pull off with the Taylor Hawkins tribute, is that the Foo Fighters have a very friendly thing going on. There wasn't a lot of animosity between members to get it done and Van Halen is quite the opposite. I don't know, maybe it's just '80s bands — there's something about '80s bands where it was the cool thing to be dicks. But some things just don't work out and it seems like this is one of them.

DID PLAYING IN THOSE TAYLOR SHOWS CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE AT ALL ABOUT THE IDEA OF TRIBUTE EVENTS?

Luckily, I feel like I was able to get that feeling from the Taylor thing, which is why I played Van Halen songs and that's not something I take lightly. It felt like the right thing to do, knowing how impossible it would be to do it as a separate thing. I took that as my opportunity obviously to pay tribute to Taylor, but at the same time pay tribute to my father. And that was it for me and it's over — that was me having that moment and being able to do it myself, outside of all the bullshit that the Van Halen duff gets muddled in with. I think I was able to put that to rest and not say goodbye, because I hate to ever speak in absolutes, but for the foreseeable future, Van Halen is not what I'm focused on in any way.

IS IT FRUSTRATING THAT YOU HAVE TO KEEP DEALING WITH THE SQUABBLING?

Beyond that, it's emotionally difficult for me to hear about it every day. But that's the position I'm in unfortunately, and there's nothing I can do about it. I think Zelda Williams, Robin's daughter, put it in such a beautiful way — on one of the anniversaries of his passing, she said that even a truckload of roses weighs a ton.

I understand that it's all rooted in positivity, but it gets very jarring, and it wears you out. I can't go online or do anything without somebody reminding me "Hey, knock, knock, your dad's dead. Do you miss him?" I feel like unless you're in this position, nobody really understands it. You can empathize with it, but it's very tough to relate to.

[iconoclast-infidels]

"Koala? That's what Nick Knack's going by these days?"

She couldn't help but smile. She shook her head just watching Dmitry and thinking of her son.

But, it all took another turn when the Murmur conversation began.

Incoming story of Dmitry and Nico's past.

Back up. First Dmitry worried about anything she might need. For now she waved him off too hyperfixated on the subject at hand.

Finally, he started talking.

Starting out a story with "when I died" probably wasn't going to blow over well in most crowds, but Nova didn't hesitate to believe and took it literally from the moment he opened his mouth.

Her mind had a hard time following. Nico caught that he couldn't stay dead. She did just walk through the veil with him. She'd been too groggy even as she went into mission mode to put everything completely together. She actually didn't know his powers. She wasn't there when he was a teenager and he'd been so frightened by his changes. Her thoughts were racing. Was he like her? Did he have human medium abilities? Was all this from his father? Her mind was going places it hadn't had a chance to latch onto yet. She and Nico hadn't had their own private sit down yet. She'd been so set on getting supplies. All of this was going through her head while trying to learn about Dmitry. It was very emotional under her still exterior.

Sammy? Her mind was clocking this.

"Sammy? Reaping? You aren't referring to Samael?"

Was this guy really referring to the Angel of Death as Sammy?

Soul chunks? She shook her head a bit. Nova lived in a mind that was pretty sure to take this literal, but considering the proclaimed love a few moments earlier.

"Literally?" She just wanted to keep the conversation clear.

"You're saying you're tied together in more than a metaphysical way, physically, spiritually speaking?" She was searching for the words but she had a feeling Dmitry got her line of thought.

She was still shaking her head because she didn't get what made him think Murmur wouldn't hurt Nico. Her whole life was about protecting him from this because she believed he would.

Then came the caveat that she always knew would come back around. Murmur wanted him. He acted like he didn't to Nico, but to Nova, it was different. Nova and Murmur had a different relationship. She always knew he'd be back for Nico. That's what she was trying to prevent. Now, here she was all these years later after being rescued from a trap she finds out Murmur has been trying. Even Dmitry understood. It didn't feel like normal fatherly reasons. This much she latched onto. But, what was bringing her heart to the floor was thinking of all that had happened to bring them all to this moment.

She failed. Things were set in motion. She didn't prepare him enough before she got her motherhood stolen from her. How many times she thought I should wait until he's older. She wanted to beat herself in the fucking head. She fucking failed.

She'd look away into the distance at nothing in particular crestfallen. She wouldn't respond for what might be considered an inappropriately long time. The past was catching up to her. It took a lot to remain strong right then.

Then she had to suck it up and remember she was here with Nico and this Dmitry. How much had Murmur gotten a hold of him by taking her out of the equation? It didn't take her long to deduce if Dmitry was talking this way that meant there was some sort of ongoing contact. It was then she realized this wasn't just prevention anymore. It was damage control.

She looked over at him finally after quite the long silence with a daze still on her features.

"Nico already loves him, doesn't he?"

She was bracing herself for a truth she felt like she already knew. It was between the lines. Grooming Nico. Even if Dmitry distrusted it meant he was around. Already back. In the damn picture and Nico was letting it happen.

Dmitry averted his gaze sheepishly, blushing at Nova teasing him. He had an almost boyish expression about it. Somehow, Nova being Nico's mom had managed to pull that reaction from Dmitry, who otherwise would have been very blasé about it. He nodded though, smitten. "Koala, yeah. What can I say, he's cute."

He had started to notice she didn't seem to recall the night before, which made sense with the drugs she'd been on.

About the time Nova started talking about celestial motion, though, he felt understood. She'd know, then, that the layouts he was planning on painting were associated with specific times. It wouldn't necessarily be easy to guess exact dates, hours, because the stars are there even if the sun is shining too brightly for anything else to be visible, and as such, any snapshot of the sky could occur at any day at specific moments. But of course, it's generally impractical to care about stars during the day, so when he picked seasons, dates, he centered them around nighttime hours as is customary. In that, she was right — none would be the exact sky outside at any given moment. For that, they'd need a lot more house, a lot more sphere.

He understood what she was saying, though. These were landmarks, it seemed; landmarks to help mark spells and timeframes. He thought about that, and about the cartography for a bit before shooting Nico a text message requesting a few more supplies to aid in drawing the sigils. "Okay, that should be enough to start with."

Dmitry watched her carefully as she hopped from the table to a chair, realizing this was suddenly a lot more serious than he'd thought. She didn't seem angry, just... concerned? Confused? Yeah, that was fair. She asked him why he thought Murmur wouldn't hurt him, and he realized he suddenly had a lot to talk to her about. He sighed with a nod and sat on a chair too. He'd have sat against a wall, on the floor, but the nearest one was too far for that to be comfortable conversationally. No, he needed to be close to her. In fact, he was specifically missing Lisbeth suddenly, as a measure of comfort. She'd gone off with Nico, though, so that wasn't an option.

"There's a lot to catch you up on, so... I guess I'll start from the beginning? Though first, I don't know what exactly they had you on, I just saw what they sedated you with. If there's anything you need to wean off of, I can ask Nico to get it before he comes back. Like I said, I know it's not easy." This was sincere, not out of pity but out of real empathy for her in this situation. After her answer to that, he'd get on to explaining.

"So... I suppose the real beginning is when I died." He bit on his lip, shaking his head slightly. He clearly felt exposed talking about it, but on he went. "Look, it was stupid. The point is I guess I got a chance to return, and so I'm here. Nico thinks it's a curse, I don't see it that way. Maybe a little, but... I don't know. Not the point. I can't stay dead, basically, and Nico probably caught that the first time we met, and now we're together, so there's that. The real problem is we're both half-something, and I think it's unusual enough that people don't.... love that. Demons seem to think Nico's not the greatest, I'm especially an aberration to them. Angels... eh, they're more chill. Sammy— Samael, he's my friend. Kinda hard not to talk to the guy who keeps reaping you. That's not the point either, um..."

He suddenly seemed to remember the question he was actually trying to answer. "Murmur can't hurt me without hurting Nico. I don't mean just like... emotionally, though yeah Nico'd be fucked up if something happened to me. Not that... I mean, if I die, I'll just— What I'm trying to say is he's got a chunk of my soul and I have a chunk of his. I did a stupid thing, he did an impulsive thing, point is if he hurts me, he's hurting Nico too, and I... get the feeling that Nico might have worth to him as a tool of some kind? Not like loving father kinda shit, I don't think he's capable, but it's... It makes me uncomfortable and I think that's what it is, it's like he's trying to groom Nico into being some fucked up kind of useful to him. So, hurting me is counterproductive, as much as I'm pretty sure he would otherwise just end me if he could."

He shrugged, pulling up his knees to his chest. "I guess he could anyway, who knows what Murmur thinks like, but I just don't see it as being advantageous to him, really. I don't trust him, I just don't think he's my biggest problem either, necessarily."

[wolfheartsstuff]

The Secret She Kept (werewolf Sammy au) (Major Trigger warning for abuse in chapters 3 and 4)

Sammy left the tree house at the same time just after the others went to sleep. And Yaz took watch tonight so this change would be harder to hide.

Sammy always went on a nightly run to get rid of the excess energy of her wolf side and to check the perimeter. As Sammy started to walk to a clearing she heard a stick snap her head whipped to where it came from and saw nothing, she kept walking until she saw the moon's light shining into the clearing.

She liked shifting under the moon because it calmed her and made the shift less painful. As she looked up at the half moon she let herself go and the wolf slipped out almost painlessly just mild discomfort with her bones reshaping.

Her paws touched the soft grass with a small thud, and then she took off into the jungle happy to be free again after having to stay human all day. The sounds blended as she ran through the thick underbrush toward a cluster of large rocks. She came to a stop and started to climb one of the rocks that were closer to the ground and sat there for an hour watching the jungle her eyes and ears on high alert.

She heard the rustle of leaves and a soft gasp she looked in the direction and saw Yasmina's head dart back into the woods a low growl rumbled in Sammy's throat as she didn't realize how careless she was to let herself be spotted.

She huffed and ran to the tree house bolting right past the girl and knocking her over. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears as she saw the tree house she shifted into her human form and slipped back up the ladder and into her bed.

Her anxiety about Yasmina telling the others the next morning was near overwhelming. Would she just tell them or confront her first? She hoped Yaz would choose to confront her first.

But as she got up from her bed the following day the others looked at her like she was some wild animal, feral and unpredictable. She looked at the athlete standing just a few feet away from the rest "So she told you about last night?" Sammy asked her words were sharp the group flinched and nodded.

Darius was the first to speak "Why did you keep this from us?" Sammy's reply was sharp "I didn't want to be seen as a monster like everyone else in my life has seen me. You guys were the first people to accept me. So I kept the wolf hidden." Sammy flinched a little when Brooklynn asked about her family and her wolf heritage "My family is fully human but I was somehow born like this."

As she answered the group's questions she saw Yaz stepping closer to the others keeping her eyes on the wolf in front of her. Sammy looked at her as she spoke "Guys as much as I want to answer more of your questions I need to talk to Yaz." The group nodded and left the two alone.

As they saw the others leave Sammy looked at her and growled "How could you! I have been working so hard to keep my wolf hidden. Why would you tell them?" Yaz backed away from her hands held up in a surrender gesture "I was scared for the safety of the others okay? I didn't want them to get hurt if I had a chance to warn them." Sammy huffed her face shifted to her wolf's "So you see me as an unpredictable monster Yasmina?" The wolf slipped out of her again paws hitting the wooden floor with a heavy thud while she spoke "One that should be chained up, caged, and beaten till I can barely stand? Cause I have been through that before and I barely kept myself alive and sane while my family hurt me more than you could ever know." As Sammy circled her Yaz could see the many scars that littered the wolf's form the scars on her front legs and eye were the most prominent.

Sammy smiled as she watched Yasmina's face as fear coated each feature, her eyes searching for a way out, "I'm not going to hurt you though, as much as I want to. But our friendship is over Fadoula." Sammy spits out her last name as if it was bitter on her tongue and then left after transforming back.

Chapter 2

The group noticed that after Sammy and Yaz talked the werewolf stayed away from them and stopped talking to anyone. It was shocking how quickly the once optimistic girl now became closed off and soft-spoken, Brooklynn had tried talking to her multiple times but every time she got either huffs or one-word answers.

They have caught Sammy taking naps in her wolf form a few times and it startled them at first but they soon got used to it. But they have seen the scars they thought the wounds were from the dinosaurs though they will never know the true source. And that made it more jarring.

Yasmina flinched whenever she saw the wolf form of her ex-best friend who would always look at her like she didn't matter and it hurt more than anything. She regretted telling the others but she didn't have a choice, she didn't want to see the others hurt if she could prevent it even if it meant losing her only friend who had helped her overcome so much.

Sammy stayed in her wolf form most of the time now, but she made sure she kept her distance from everyone including Bumpy so she didn't hurt them. Even if the others didn't question her she still felt as if her parents were watching her. She had nightmares of the chains wrapped around her neck and legs, the fierce hunger that made her feel like passing out all felt real again like she could never escape it. Tears streamed down her face after she woke up after every nightmare.

Chapter 3

Sammy ran her fingers over the patchwork of scars on her arms and legs that she said were from animals. They were from her parents who beat her and chained her in the basement for weeks on end with no food and little water, taunting her with dead animals waving them inches from her face trying to coax out the dangerous animal lying within the girl out every time they would beat her if she dared to move forward. Her body was almost always bloody and bruised until she left. She wanted to kill them for what they put her through.

That was until Mantacorp came and asked for Sammy to spy for them. Her parents were happy to be rid of her and she was forced to leave and spy for them but she was happy to be free of her family's abuse even if it was for a few weeks.

She told Roxie and Dave about her werewolf side so they could let her be alone when she shifts and go on night runs. She was always careful when going on night runs. Her mind was plagued with nightmares of the chains and pain but they had gotten a bit better since she was left behind.

Chapter 4

"You must be hungry Samantha. you haven't eaten in days." A deep male voice taunts just out of view of the girl as chains wrap tighter around Sammy's arms, neck, and legs, the silver searing her flesh making the girl scream in pain. She doesn't reply to the taunts though just staring straight ahead she has been through this before and knows better than to reply.

"Nothing to say wolf-girl?" The voice says again, her father's silhouette coming into view. She shook her head the sound of searing flesh and the clatter of chains filled the room as blood seeps out of Sammy's wounds, her chest heaved as she tried to get more air into her lungs as her father kept taunting her.

She had to wake up, she couldn't go through this much longer she thought she heard someone calling her name trying to get her to wake up from the torment.

(Outside of nightmare)

Sammy kept twisting and turning in her sleep whimpering softly, her breathing was deep yet fast. Her skin was completely drenched in sweat, tears coming to the surface.

The only person awake was Yasmina who couldn't sleep due to her own nightmares of different torment, she watched Sammy toss and turn for a few minutes longer before realizing the other girl was in the middle of a nightmare.

She thought of just leaving her to tough it out, but there was something about the way Sammy moved and whimpered in her sleep that sent all the wrong signals to her. She walked over to her and placed a hand on the sleeping girl's shoulder the girl flinched sucking in a deep breath through gritted teeth like it hurt her when she made contact.

Yasmina finally got a good look at the Texan's neck it was covered in burn scars like a chain was wrapped around her throat it was gruesome to think that someone would hurt Sammy like this. They may never be friends again but the athlete still cared about her.

Chapter 5

The now familiar sounds of the forest at night made Sammy feel calm as she kept watch. She was sitting on a tree branch watching the compy standing in front of her. Its small eyes stared into hers. Sammy let out a sharp bark to try to make it leave, but the small dino kept coming back, its sharp voice piercing her ears. "Why can't you just leave me alone!!" she snaps at the little dino who jumps in surprise with a loud chirp before finally leaving her alone. Sammy finally lets herself relax slightly still keeping watch ears twitching at the slightest sound.

She felt someone watching her and she growled as she saw Brooklynn "what do you want Brooklynn?" Sammy asked her tone was soft but with the same razor's edge as the only other time she spoke to her.

"I couldn't sleep tonight. So I wanted to check on you." Brooklynn replied pulling herself up onto the tree stump below Sammy. "You know I worry about you sometimes Sammy." Brooklynn's words were quiet, but they hit Sammy's ears like a gunshot causing the wolf to shy away from its post in the forefront of Sammy's mind and giving the girl more control. Why would Brooklynn worry about a monster like her? "You don't have to worry about me Brooklynn. You'll only waste your time." Sammy whispered, curling into herself as she felt the want for comfort rise to the surface.

[babyjoysdiary]

I feel like I’m not allowed to get angry.

Like being so mentally ill and fat and Black and with a pussy…

Idk I know my friends that cut me off feel like they have given me several “chances”.

Bro I’m autistic and try to warn people of my outbursts.

And putting up with my tantrums when it comes to life and other people just isn’t enough for me.

People only like me when I’m useful.

The women in my life will never respect me and care for me and give me chances like they will these cis niggas

Guess you gotta give good dick in order to be seen past your mistakes or like your whole personality is more than just something to put up with

Micah my big sis of ten years just cut me off completely because I yelled at her for being passive. Like a white woman. But she was being passive aggressive…like a white woman.

And now she keep blocking me on shit. But then unblocking… like I guess I was supposed to text sorry a week ago.

What the fuck.

Especially after her witnessing the shit with Sammie and Mixie?

I put up hearing about this ain’t shit nigga Brandon for YEARS!

He called the cops on her and deserves more chances than me?!?

What the fuck

I know my insults were aggressive …but I wasn’t lying. And she sent me a bill straight in the morning. While I was in San Francisco…and then kept hanging up on me…after making a sarcastic comment about me paying the bill…

What the fuck

Lennon

Al

Amber

Hannah

Nicole

Mixie

Sammie

Micah

Now I see how I’m the problem.

I get it, I say vile/nasty things/informed by the vulnerability shown to me…

But I’m not unique, nor have they not done the same thing to me… I’m just better at it

It just doesn’t feel fair… why am I treated so harshly for my outbursts?

And it’s not like I can just make friends with other Black folk or dark skins cause my weirdness hits their body as a threat. I’m a weird nigga and I know subconsciously they want to change me or distance themselves because they don’t want to be seen as weird or a threat either

Sometimes I feel like the only reason I haven’t died yet or get several tries in the form of new people us because I’m light skin and got a cute face.

Which…with being fat and having no ass and tens of hundreds of scars and stretch marks…I feel like God was just try a even out the scales.

Ugh, and you know my paranoia about my face …ugh the tools I most use to stay alive…

Anyway I saw this play last night about this gay man during slavery times

The main actor is mixed and talented but has a monopoly on the theater scene here, dates a lot of white and mixed woman and has been with my white non binary friend for five years. Taken they money, cheated on them, is cheating on them and has gone through several addictions… AND PLATS FAY ALL THE TIME BUT US STRAIGHT STRAIGHT STRAIGHT

It references so many things… How out trees all hold our ancestors… How we can hear them and communicate with them… How racial trauma has always been present… How the light skin versus dark skin, interpersonal dynamics was bread from enslavement… How cis black men get objectified by everyone… How that objectification always centers the story, but is glossed over at the same time… How black women have always been the backbone to every community… How they are even used by their community… How assault is always a literary device… how black women never get the care, they deserve… It just touched on everything in so many ways… Like one black women slave kind of, low key assaulted a black male slave… But it’s so much more complex than that… Because that same girl was a product of rape from her master… But admit it, she hoped he did rape her… Or at least she would be touched… Even though that was her father… It was just a lot and plus the main black gay dude ended up dying…

What does this have to do with people cutting me off? Everything and nothing… It’s just crazy to feel and see all the ways in which way is black Americans are powerful and magical and beautiful… And then have the reality of enslavement continues to do… And how it feels like it won’t matter how smart or pretty I get… I’m blocking with the pussies, so everyone will always use me… And when I’m no longer useful… And then have the audacity to be a human… Or contain humanity, and have flaws… I will be cut off…

I think it’s also wild, because recently… Or forever if I’m honest… I’ve been really craving a strong hug from a black man… And I got it at the closing of the affirmation space from the drunken monkey… Who’s dating Ayo … But that’s a secret. 

And they both always just mirror my energy/match my energy and pour so much divine love into me… But I’m scared I can’t get close to them because of my wickedness… Anyway, he hugged me so hard I could feel it in my ribs and whispered prayers and affirmations in my ear… And I needed that and I’m grateful for that and I’m glad I can manifest that within a man who is attractive, but who I’m not lost in the sauce with… Like I don’t Wanna be with him…

It just reminded me that how much is I ask you come true and I am a great Manifester… It’s just not gonna happen in the same way I think… But I’m worried my gender, and my fatness are going to get in the way of me being shown that love consistently… Or in a romantic way … I just like in every relationship I’m always DamagedGoods… I’m always the rebound… People always pour the deepest, darkest thoughts into me… And we connect… And sometimes they hear my flaws and fears… But when those materialize… I’m a monster who is left alone  I’ve been with monsters… And I have shown them, grace and compassion and forgiveness until they just about kill me… Let me be honest, even with my life is at risk I still love… It’s only when they start hurting others that I loved you I really care… Or if I took out and become a monster, and then they leave me…

It’s just so hard… To see everyone else get so many chances to grow… Or how I always feel like a burden… Or like whoever is my friend or lover is doing charity work… Cause I’m special I’m not cute enough to be special

 At least I have seen how pretty privilege protects certain disabled people… Also, just white people never have to work as hard… Even if they from the smart like you… It’s always going to be easier for a white person to find love… Or the white supremacist notion of what love is 

Still, so worried, I’m going to end up like my aunt years and die alone… And have a life without partnership due to mental illness… And I’m trying to work on myself… I’m trying… There’s just some personality characteristics that will always make me not ideal in something to simply be put up with at least that’s how it feels 

[holylulusworld]

I never was...

Title: I never was

Summary: It’s Christmas. Time for forgiveness and second chances.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of a break-up, pregnant reader, Dean’s low self-esteem, mentions of Dean’s childhood, fluff

Square 19 filled for @spnchristmasbingo​: Coming home for Christmas

Square 1 filled for Lulu’s Winter Bingo: Getting back together  

Divider by @dawn-petrichor-world​

Words: 1k

2022 SPN Christmas Bingo Masterlist

Multi-Fandom Winter Bingo

One week before Christmas, …

“Dean, what are you doing?” Sam pokes his head into Dean’s room. The hunter pumps up the volume to listen to an awful Christmas song. At least Sam thinks it’s an awful song. “DEAN!”

The hunter sits on the ground, flipping through an old photo album. The only one he got. “I’m just looking at old pictures, is all. I tried to find stuff and found it.”

“Dean, that’s the picture album Y/N made,” the younger brother softly says. “What’s wrong with you lately? Do you still miss her?”

Dean doesn’t answer. He drops his eyes to one of the pictures. The last one he took of you before he messed things up. “No. I did the right thing.”

“You still didn’t tell me why you broke things up with Y/N,” Sam presses on. He tries to get answers for almost four months. No such luck. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Dean lies. He slams the album shut and flings it across the room. 

“After all these years you should know that you cannot lie to me, Dean,” Sam picks the album up to place it on Dean’s bed. “What happened?”

“What happened?” Dean mimics. “You sound like a broken record, Sammy.”

“DEAN! Just tell me what happened!” Sam angrily says. He crosses his arms over his chest, huffing as Dean still refuses to talk to him.

“What always happens when I have something good in my life,” Dean yells. “I mess things up. I’m like poison and ruin everything I touch. You know that.”

“Dean…” Sam sighs deeply. “Maybe you should talk to her. It’s Christmas in a week.”

“There is no coming back, Sammy. Just leave her be. Y/N will have a better life,” Dean swallows thickly, “without me fucking things up. She’s better with someone else.”

“Y/N loves you. Why would you want her to find someone else?” Sam sits on Dean’s bed. “Do you want me to call her?”

“I said no,” Dean barks. “Y/N deserves better than me or you bug her. She left for a reason. Now stop talking about Christmas, Y/N, and shit.”

“Fine,” Sam gets up to leave Dean’s room. “Just keep me out of this from now on. You cannot bring someone into our family and make me love her like a sister only to chase her away.” The younger brother chokes out. “I’m missing her too.”

Sam storms out of the room and slams the door shut.

“Sam,” you close your eyes as your friend desperately tries to make you talk to him. “Why did you call? Is the world ending again?”

“Y/N, hey,” Sam clears his throat. “I don’t know what happened between you and Dean but,” he huffs as you groan at the other end of the line. “I know you don’t want to hear anything about my brother, but he’s missing you like hell.”

“You got one thing right, Samuel,” you quip. “You do not know what he did. Dean made me leave. He didn’t give me choice. I had to leave.”

“Please come home,” the hunter pleads. “He’s drinking and hiding in his room. It feels like I’m living with a ghost, not my brother.”

“I can’t. I won’t,” you sniffle before hanging up the phone. “I’m sorry, Sam.”

Five days before Christmas, …

“Dean you need to change clothing,” Sam chastises. “I know you are missing Y/N. Even if you refuse to admit you have a broken heart, I know you are hurting.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Dean argues. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” huffing Sam points at Dean’s outfit. “You’re wearing the same shirt for days. You didn’t eat, and you emptied a whole bottle of Whiskey.”

“Just leave me to my misery. How about you go to Jody’s place or visit Eileen? I’m good in my room. Alone.”

“You don’t want to be alone on Christmas, Dean. And I won’t leave you all alone.”

Three days before Christmas, …

“Can you believe Sam wanted me to come back?” you huff as Jody pours you a tea. “He doesn’t know what Dean has said and done.”

“No one knows,” Jody’s eyes drop to your middle. “Let me guess. He wanted you to have a normal and safe life. A life without him.”

“He told me that he cannot be a father,” placing your hand on your belly you sniffle. “Dean said he cannot raise our child with me. That he doesn’t want to have even more on his plate.”

“Y/N, I love you but sometimes you are too stubborn for your own good. Dean Winchester is anything but a man able to express his feelings. He would burn the world down for you. You know that.”

One day before Christmas, …

“Sam. Sammy! Saaammy!” Dean calls for his brother. “I will so kill you for all this Christmas decoration shit you put into the library.” He barks. “Sammy!”

The hunter just returned from a solo hunt and is pissed as the monster turned out to be a stray dog.

“Sam didn’t do a thing,” you nervously chew on your lower lip as Dean drops his duffle bags to the ground. He just stares at you for a moment, drinking your changed body in.

“You’re bigger,” he points out. “I mean, your belly has grown… no…I…fuck. That’s not what I meant.”

“I came home for Christmas.”

You nervously look at Dean.

What if you made a grave mistake? What if he kicks you out of the bunker now?

“You came home for Christmas,” he repeats. “I-I’m so fucking sorry,” he drops his keys next to the duffle bags and closes the distance between the two of you to bring you into his arms. “Sweetheart.”

“Jody said I must stop being stubborn, and that I’m not a child anymore. If I want something, I must take the chance to get it.”

“I never meant what I said. I was scared,” he whispers against you. “How shall I raise a child if I don’t know how to be a child? I never was a child. But I want my child to have a childhood, and not grow up a hunter. What if I make the same mistakes my father did?”

“They won’t become hunters,” you whisper in his ear. “We will make sure of it.”

“We,” Dean chokes out. “We...will make sure of it...”

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