#currently paranoid now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

phantom-of-the-ruckus · 8 months ago

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I forgot i had his note from a WIP 😭😭😭😭

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goldkirk · 6 months ago

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#everything’s fine and I’m fine I’m just saying this to say it rn #I don’t know what I would choose to do if he WAS still alive and I COULD still report officially #but a large part of me is really really glad that that mayor is dead. and I don’t ever have to hear him or see him at events or feel his #unusually long weird fingernails and iron grip while telling me to smile for pictures ever again #a part of me would love to confront him #but most of me is just glad he’s gone and can’t scare me or make life hell for my parents ever again #he never should’ve gotten away with all the things he did for so many years. but he did.#now that we’re here in the present. it’s a gift to get to move on from it knowing he’s not still out there at least #he was a gross greedy person with police and government power and never should’ve had those positions for so many decades like he did #but that being said. he can’t ever speak to or touch me again.#I’m not grateful now. I wasn’t grateful then after he stopped pretending either. but I’m glad I get to walk away and never live near #any subdivision or building or anything else with his name or picture #ever again. and he’s never able to touch another child ever. good riddance. you gross greedy poor excuse for a public servant.#now I’m gonna go try to write some of what I’ve learned into a fic to help my future self and others #who do you think came out on top at the end of the day mayor L?#I came out of this with friends and kindness and gentleness and healthy rage. you died just as greedy and fake and paranoid as you lived.#I hope you got better towards the end. for your wife and family’s sake.#I get to protect others from people like you for the rest of my life. and I’ll win.#because I deserve it and every current kid deserves it too.#shh katie

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5hrignold · 1 year ago

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worlds most slaughtered lamb

#rewatching bunnyfarm as im posting this yay yay #currently halfway through #it’s great bc when i first got into twf i was way more paranoid and prone to being really severely affected by horror #but now im way better so i can actually enjoy it way more :oD #the walten files #brian stells #kevin woodings #twf bon #tw blood #gore #tw severed limbs #odieart

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flowercrowngods · 5 months ago

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🕯️ please no sleep paralysis tonight 🕯️

#bitches be deteriorating!!! it’s me i’m bitches #when my friends left just now i had this harrowing haunting feeling of the paranoid fear of Not Being Alone #i’m probably really just tired from today and from not sleeping last night and spending the day in absolute panic mode so #it’s all chill we chill we don’t take our beta blockers tonight so our body can feel its pulse lmao #anyway i love how strong i am just pushing through but also telling my friends about the current state to give them the chance of being #gentle with me and also take care of me. and they dooo.#anyway i’m gonna pass out soon and will probably have to activate the ‘taking care of myself as though i were a little child’ mode and #honestly?? that’s very okay and fine and valid. i know the drill i know i will live and make it out of this alive

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wizardofderpiness · 14 days ago

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My ma made a good point about social media stuff. She was posting some stuff onto facebook and had a post-warning-limit thing that only popped up only when she tried posting some political things. She decided that it's not safe there and moved to bluesky, but has also decided to clear out some things from Google-owned platforms.

I'm not gonna nuke any blogs I had or anything, but I think I'm gonna scour through my yt playlists, download anything I think is gonna get deleted/removed, and remove any things that'll obviously get me flagged. (ie anything about pirating, things that can be flagged as a convenient reason to keep an eye on me?)

I'd recommend taking the time to go through your youtube and downloading stuff you might be worried that might be pulled off of youtube. Or things you especially like, since anything that could go through youtube to strike stuff down might act like the copyright claim system and make like. A lot of accident flaggings?

I think I'm also gonna start looking over any n/sfw stuff I want to keep too, since that might be nuked too (with how much the internet's been trying to wipe n/sfw stuff off of the internet, Trump's finally going to make the final push on that). Maybe think about it like the Tumblr n/sfw purge?

#wizardboops #youtube #I'm not really sure what to tag this #I feel like I'm being too paranoid but honestly It might be important to be too paranoid right now?#I'm wondering if I should put some of my downloaded stuff somewhere and then upload the link to them on neocities so they aren't just gone #if they do get deleted. Like yt videos or something.#current events

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lixenn · 6 months ago

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Starting off the day with an even longer commute.

The track has already changed once (I noticed early enough that I could go the correct track immediately)

Just had the announcement that the train will arrive. Yay!

#still paranoid something will happen #i hope as long as i avoid the main station that i will be fine #currently sitting in the train now btw

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heybiji · 1 year ago

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If you still are taking requests, could we get more of Ruth and Tony?

absolutely

#original characters #ocs #masks a new generation #masks ttrpg #masks rpg #ship template #antonio salvo #ruth blum #ruth and tony #truestrike #true strike #two important notes #this is a superhero story and tony is paranoid about his super strength and breaking everything and everyone #the second note #this is them in the past. they are currently divorced lol #masks: overlook #ship #i actually rarely have any ships so this is a rare treat for me #unfortunately they are dealing me great psychic damage because it's a then and now situation you feel me

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swordmaid · 2 months ago

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having sm shri’iia thoughts sob I need to draw her again….or at least set up trades so I can have art of her again…..

#just want to stare at her dumb face and shake her like a rattle stick #also I’ve been playing her and I’m still in act 1 but in the underdark now #so it’s post oath breaking / in denial shri’iia …!!!! which is so visceral #and her mental state is So Low..!! and I just imagine she has the worst time ever in the underdark bc she’s back to being paranoid again #so much so that she actually finds it comforting bc it feels like home again..!!!!#and I’m trying to iron out how hag romance fits here.. I think he’ll def take advantage of her current state #where she’s feeling vulnerable and scared… he’ll make it feel like he’s the only one on her side 👐#which makes the act 2 confession a bit 🤭🤭 bc I think he’ll think back on when she was feeling desperate and miserable like how many weeks #before and he took advantage of that I think he’ll feel MORE slimy esp when he’s developing Feelings lmfaooo #and I think in act 2 she’s also being a bit more understanding. trying to show more empathy and all that and her efforts are clearly #showing. shri’iia showing genuine interest on everyone’s problems and asking how they feel / actually trying to be helpful #like she cares now..!!! she’s not pretending anymore this is her actual self ur talking to now ..

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tamagotchikgs · 2 months ago

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everyday all day i am just being sharply juggled against my will between im ok :] .. im not ok i am feeling the fear and dread so hard my organs r trying to evacuate and crush me at the same time every part of my body hurts and then no youre ok ! :] no im not . yeah ur ok :] wait nope . not ok. alright im ok :o) ................... no

#currently in the nos #i was fine i was so joyful just a few seconds ago and then suddenly the weight of the world hit #for no reason #and now i am just scared #stressed #worried so bad my entire jaw aches #my heart Hurts #i feel nauseous #everything is going to go wrong #my worst fears are on their way and its solely because of me its because im afraid of them #everything i care about is gonna get hurt & destroyed because of me #i cannot breathe #i dont want to be here to watch it happen #maybe i was wrong maybe the curse is real n its never leaving #what if i get too happy #and it takes everything #i miss when i finally convinced myself it wasnt and i was just a paranoid little mess #and everything was actually caused by the surroundings #and even without me it would have happened #but now its too important #i cant let myself risk it #even if anything would without me i still have to prevent it #i dont even know how. im powerlesss. nothing i do works nothing my brain tells me will fix things does

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essektheylyss · 2 years ago

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me: Alright, I've got one more question. What happened to this [NPC who was just invented]?

@dieselpunkd: Do not try to talk to this NPC a player just made up. Don't do this to me.

me: I'M GOING TO THE LIBRARY TO LEARN SENDING TO CALL HER RIGHT NOW, DON'T THINK I'M NOT.

#megs is playing dnd #i do in fact now know sending #hilariously all three of my characters currently know sending and they are all a nightmare to hear from in very different ways #isabella is a highly precocious 11 year old (self-explanatory)#the satyr is a highly paranoid fey #amana is ancient and also part of an incredibly unsettling hivemind!#first rule of sending is only playing characters who no one wants to hear from #actually this is unfair to isabella who everyone does want to hear from but also asks very 11 year old questions #ANYWAY

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acourtofquestions · 6 months ago

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QoS pg. 324: ROWANS BACK, ROWANS BACK — I'm squealing like a little kid, barely a sentence in, but the second I heard “pine and snow” I started crying like Aelin — CAUSE ROWANS BACK!!!

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arolesbianism · 6 months ago

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Some swap au Olivia and Jackie concepts for the main 3 universes 👍

#keese draws #oni posting #first two are from the main rat universe #long story short a while after founding gravitas olivia was like ok so I think me being your boss in our company that we spend most of our #days at has left our relationship in a place that I’m uncomfortable with so we’re getting a divorce now sorry #and jackie proceeded to throw a fit abt that for several years until she got fired over it #in another petty act she tried to break back in to steal some of the work she had done there but got caught #and unfortunately for her during the past several years olivia has been slowly having mere morals broken down piece by piece by the allure #of progress and by the time she did her breaking and entering scheme olivia was far past the point of being ok with kidnapping #the second two are the rabbit universe girlies and they’re less openly hostile with eachother but they still are bad for eachother #they’ve known eachother since childhood and jackie has basically been using olivia as a therapist since they were teens #this lead to them developing an increasingly unhealthy codependent relationship where olivia ends up acting incredibly irresponsibly as #director of gravitas due to her being so stressed and paranoid about jackie all the time #and the third two are the raccoon au which is basically just jackie being too scared of rejection to put her work under her name so she #asks olivia to take credit for it which she does and she ends up getting all the credit and praise for a lot of the early work at gravitas #this combined with jackie’s constant worshipping of her slowly began to lead to it kinda getting into her head #and jackie was also letting it get to her head and eventually her ambition got the better of her and she ended up attacking olivia #now these are all just the basic concepts I currently have these aus are all still in the concept stages #for example I’m still figuring out how I wanna involve the other scientists and if I switch their roles around too #but yeah I’ve been thinking abt these guys lately so they get drawn 👍#oh also fun fact these aus are inspired by the scrapped content back when olivia was jodi #which is why I characterize these two a bit differently then I might if I was leaning more towards my normal stuff #theyre characterized more closely to old jackie and jodie including origin story wise

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aliensmoothie · 7 months ago

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well . i WAS going to go to sleep . but now i think maybe that is going to be delayed .

#⸸#got super paranoid earlier and locked all the doors and windows . was fine for a few hours . decided i was going to lay down for bed #and got so deeply anxious abt the . current shit . Plus i was so sure i heard someone in the house that i threw up .lmao . lol .#like i feel . fine now . i think maybe i ate something weird too . cause usually i just Feel like im going to puke . but oh well #i dont even know who im afraid of tbh . the cops showing up at my door ? my grandad ? ******* ??? simply unknowable #but whoever it is . i am just fucking terrified lmao #emeto ment #also speaking of the cops it is getting to the point where i dreaddddd coming home bcs i just know any day now we're gonna get a note from #the fucking blight officer . which like ..realistically idk if that actually poses any danger . but i am already terrified of the cops #showing up at my house lmao . not that my neighbors know or would care but like . it just looms over my head .#anyways . im tired again . gooooooodnightttttttt

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 11 months ago

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OH WHAT EXCELLENT TIMIJG. KILLS MYSELF

#reblogs two posts in a row that vaguely have to do with my current mental state . immediately gets a notif on insta #that ×××××× liked my post from 3 days ago about my new haircut and feeling good about myself lmao #“why dont you just block her” well you see last time i did that she wouldnt stop calling my phone until i unblocked her.#and what if i started eating fiberglass. what of it. she hasnt touched my ig in like 6 months WHY NOW #hey girl are u reading my tumblr posts still. i hate ur ass so mucj leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone #<< im just being paranoid ive remade my blog like 3 times since she was kn here last #and also ive got all 3 of her urls that i know of blocked lollll #im going to fucking scream im going to bite my pinkie finger off at the knuckle #head jn hands #instant impulse is to delete that post and also my entire insta and also my entire online presence.#but i know that is not a good idea. im stronger than that #girl why are you so fucking obsessed with me still its weird. get a goddmn life godddddddd . jm going to kms #does a gay little dance. oh BOY i cant eait to have nightmares about this later

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muddlemore · 11 months ago

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Roach apologists i applaud you for having more courage than the marines because tonight i have become the biggest threat to your kind. Your sworn nemesis. There was a fucking german cockroach on my pillow and now i will never hear any of you out ever again. I cant even tell if im joking

#insects tw #i am literally so upset i didnt even react #i just threw my pillow off the bed and killed it and now i want to shave my head and scrub the floor. burn my mattress #its a miracle im even laying down but im sleeping backwards #resting my head where my feet go.#i dont know where the fucker came from or how long its been here #let alone how long it was IN MY BED #and of course now im paranoid #currently suffering from a case of the buggies like never before. my leg hairs feel like bugs rn #what the fuck would have happened if i hadnt gotten up to pee. i feel sick #the worst part is that i went to chug my water to prevent attracting more. there was a dead ant in my cup #sleeping with a shirt for once cuz my back is so hyper ticklish that even laying flat it felt like theres roaches on me #literally my best bet is that this roach came from the boat earlier #guess im purging my room tomorrow. cool #vent

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eggmeralda · 1 year ago

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no feeling worse than hearing there might be another group chat that you're not in

#current situation is unconfirmed #like there was a message saying to someone else ''go to the other chat'' and like that could mean anything #but anyway now i'm paranoid my band are cheating on me with another bassist #which would make sense bc now uni's done i live the furthest away and can't come to as many rehearsals and it's inconvenient #so maybe they are secretly looking for another bassist #but also how do i ask that #bc if it's true then it'll be awkward and if it's not then i'll just seem really irrational #so idk what the other chat is but hopefully it's something unrelated #maybe they're not full on replacing me but it probably is a group chat of just the 4 of them #maybe with other people in it #i know they have a discord server that i'm not in. even though they've mentioned it but idek #i'll find out whatever's going on at the next gig which is in a few weeks but i can't be bothered to wait that long #ramble

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