#currently on a bit of a break from stranger things so i think that’s part of the reason

[oldfashionedmorphine]

is there anything in a fic you've written that you're just dying to tell the backstory/inspiration for???

hi :)

for the most part, i’m pretty transparent with what inspires my stories overall—like how i watched frequency last year and then decided to write an au based on it lol…and i also don’t know how to shut up, so sometimes i flat out say what’s inspired me in the author’s notes of the fic/chapter.

off the top of my head this is what i could think of…

(though some of you are probably already aware of these things, because again i don’t know how to shut up lol)

mike and will’s falling out in “i’m a wreck (without you here)” is 100% inspired by the falling out i had with one of my best friends (the whole moving away to another state abruptly and then being cut off and then told off in a letter—though for me it was via facebook messenger)……unfortunately for me, i haven’t seen her since and we’ll likely never reconcile :(

ch 12 of iawwyh was again inspired by my life with mike’s loss of his grandmother…holly making her a ‘get well’ card was something my younger cousins did while my grandfather was in hospice

taking a continuing education course for infection control and then being reminded again of a high profile hiv/aids case in dentistry (they always use it as an example) that just so happened to fit nicely in the timeline of my story for ch 13 of iawwyh

making mike and will obsessed with warcraft because i was obsessed with world of warcraft for a time lol

writing a karaoke scene + using never gonna give you up was inspired by me watching ted lasso

i also wanted to write a chapter that featured nancy as a ballerina and it just so happened to be christmas time when i had the idea so that’s why i went with the nutcracker

[sincerelystarry]

( ☆ ) . * if u saw my tears wld u touch me . . . kiss me on the mouth say u love me !!

modern au — f!reader x best friend!steve harrington

starry’s sweets — order #007

ask : “Hello, I'd like to place an order. Could I get a medium caramel tea cake with strawberry puree, oreo crumbles and rainbow sprinkles?

Thank you!” — @xplrnowornever

summary : “king steve” always knew how to throw a fucking rager, and who were you to miss your best friend’s party? things only get a little complicated when he sees you with some other guy’s tongue shoved down your throat.

warnings : hurt/comfort, reader and steve have liked each other since middle school  but they’re both fucking cowards abt it, suggestive content aka they make out and also there’s tit grabbing, what can i say steve harrington likes boobies, i’m not writing the smut part but it’s basically all the shit leading up to them having sex, steve and reader are both inebriated DONT HAVE SEX WHILE INEBRIATED

word count : 1.2k

You didn’t realize grad parties could become absolute ragers so fast, but those might just be the perks of parents never being around. Music is blaring, some sort of upbeat song everyone knows the words to about snorting coke that you think is fine, just a bit too loud. You shove through the crowd of drunk teens (though most would probably argue they’re adults anyway, being freshly 18), attempting to find the host, your best friend from childhood, none other than Steve Harrington. 

Attempt is the key word here, as you don’t see him anywhere. Instead, you’re taken aside by some guy, who you don’t really care enough to remember the name of. He flirts with you for a bit as the two of you stand in the kitchen beside the bowl of vodka-spiked Hawaiian Punch. You hadn’t been dating for ages, so, bored and slightly pent up, you reciprocate.

You can hardly remember what words were exchanged between the two of you. Maybe something along the lines of the guy calling you pretty and you picking invisible lint off his shirt as an excuse to touch his chest before you’re pressed up against the kitchen counter, red solo cups and your original goal of finding your friend forgotten as the guy kisses you messily. Not the best makeout session you’ve ever had, but not the worst either. Being a bit tipsy also helped you bear through it a bit. 

Lost in the stranger’s tongue down your throat, you don’t notice as Steve walks into the kitchen, searching for you. You don’t notice the way his face falls, the way the plastic cup crumples in his hand as he squeezes it a bit tighter. You don’t notice the way he turns and pushes through whatever girl was flirting with him, touching his arm, tearing his gaze away from you and the guy. 

You and the stranger swap saliva for a few torturous minutes before you break apart and you excuse yourself with a slightly condescending pat on his cheek, thanking him for the distraction from your currently-stale love life. Refilling your cup with punch, you remember the goal you previously had before being distracted by a hot guy that was a bad kisser (as most of them unfortunately are), resuming your search for Steve.

The party really is amazing. You’ve acclimatized to the noise, LEDs flashing colors making you all giggly as you continue to sip at your punch. You get distracted a few more times, dancing with a few girls, making out with some other guys, accepting a mystery gummy that was definitely an edible, but it’s also pineapple flavored, so you mark it off as okay, taking a second strawberry flavored one to give to Steve when you find him.

Some girls tell you they saw him heading upstairs as you dance around with each other, so you excuse yourself from the crowd. You to easily make your way up after refilling your drink and getting one for him, knowing the layout of his house by heart. You assume he’s in his bedroom and enter without knocking. Luckily enough, it’s Steve sitting at the edge of the bed, looking extremely dejected, and not some couple bumping uglies.

“I come bearing a gift,” you say, shutting the door behind you and setting your drink on the nightstand before sitting next to him, handing him his cup of punch and fishing the ziploc baggie with the gummy in it out of your pocket, holding it out for him to take.

He accepts the gummy, popping it into his mouth with a quiet “Thanks.”

“You good?” you ask. “Shouldn’t the host be downstairs fucking it up with everyone else? I heard there’s a keg contest about to happen soon. Aren’t you the king of those?” You poke fun at him in some attempts to lighten the mood, but some of it is due to how giggly and spacey you feel from the weed and the alcohol.

He chews and swallows before answering. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just needed a breather,” he says, sipping at the punch. 

Despite your state, you can tell he’s lying. “That’s a cute story,” you say, patting his knee in a patronizing manner. “What’s wrong? The doctor is in, tell me what’s up.”

“What if I don’t want to?” he argues petulantly.

“Well, then you’d be acting like a baby,” you point out. “Come on, Steve. We tell each other everything! If you tell me what’s wrong I’ll tell you about how bad of a kisser a guy I made out with earlier is.”

“Please don’t,” he practically begs.

“Why not?”

He doesn’t respond for a minute, maybe two. It feels like an hour. “Because that’s the exact thing that’s been bothering me.”

You snort. “Trust me, it’s been bothering me too. You’d think at least one guy at this party would be a good kisser but no, apparently not—”

“Stop—!” he cuts you off abruptly. “Sorry— God—”

You stare at him for a bit, a bit perturbed by his tone. “Sorry. I’ll go if you want.” You move to stand when his hand grabs at your wrist, tugging you back. 

“Don’t go— Just— Fuck.” It happens in a blur. You’re not sure when he puts his cup of punch on the nightstand or when you end up under him on the bed, your tongues and teeth clashing.

You welcome him in eagerly despite your slight confusion at his change in demeanor, sucking on his tongue, nipping at his bottom lip. “Steve,” you mumble through the haze as you feel his hands start to creep up your shirt, warm against your skin.

“I love you,” he says against your lips, voice hoarse and breathing ragged.

You laugh breathlessly, “Yeah, man, I love you too—”

“No,” he cuts you off. “No. I love you. I’m in love with you. Fuck— I think I’ve been in love with you since freshman year.”

“Why freshman year?” you ask, seemingly unphased by his declaration.

“It was homecoming. You didn’t have a date and mine stood me up. You offered to dance with me for the slow dance. That— that was it. Slow dancing in a high school gym to Taylor Swift. I don’t know why that was it but—”

It’s your turn to cut him off as your lips press against his in a softer kiss than before. “I love you too,” you speak softly against his lips.

The kiss becomes heated again quickly as his tongue seeks entrance into your mouth and you allow it, Steve’s lips trailing down your neck before he pulls back to pull off your shirt, eyes not leaving your chest.

“My eyes are up here, Harrington,” you tease, even as his hands go to grab at your tits. 

Your lips meet again and you both forget all about the party downstairs, some CharliXCX song as the background to your drunken fucking, muffled through the walls. 

Maybe twenty minutes later, the two of you are naked, curled up against each other.

“What time is it?” you ask sleepily. 

Steve glances at the alarm clock on his nightstand. “Midnight.”

“You should kick people out. So we can sleep.”

He smiles at your usage of the word ‘we’. “I’ll do that in a second. Just wanna stay here for a bit.”

You don’t argue. “Will we forget about this tomorrow?”

“I hope not,” he says, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “Will you regret this tomorrow?”

“I don’t think so,” you say honestly.

“Good.”

A beat of silence passes between the two of you before you speak again. “Steve?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

a/n: she's short but sweet and also a little horny

[aventoru]

but i love you more

ft. itoshi rin

wc : 1.5k

tags : misunderstanding/miscommunication, corporate worker!reader, proplayer!rin, awkwardness, rin being a coward, angst to fluff, rekindled love/second chance romance, happy ending!!

a/n : oh my god i'm finally finished with this fic (thank god) after it's been sitting in my drafts for MONTHS. i got the motivation to finish it in the dead of night yesterday so pls let it be worth it LOL.

highschooler!rin who is your first love. he’s there to support you in your dreams of living a simple life and pursuing a corporate job. you’re there to support him in football and his ambitions to go pro.

highschooler!rin whose brother traumatized him after getting back from spain. from then on, rin decides his ultimate goal is to surpass his brother in football and to fully achieve that, he has to break up with you.

highschooler!rin who lays awake staring at the ceiling that night, unable to fall asleep due to the rush of thoughts running through his head. he can feel himself spiraling, and he knows you don’t deserve to go through this. he has to let you go.

highschooler!rin breaks up with you the next day, stating his lame ass excuse of wanting to focus on his football career. in reality, he just doesn’t want you to get involved with him and all his negative feelings. you’re oblivious to all that he’s going through and simply accept that you’re second to football in his heart. you agree to breaking up, wishing him good luck and happiness in his future.

highschooler!rin who comes to realize how lonely he is after losing you. since you’ve been gone, his life has become dull and without life. rin feels empty without you by his side, but he knows it’s for the best.

or at least he thinks so.

proplayer!rin who regrets everything he’s done to you and misses you dearly. his love life has been rocky ever since you left, especially now that he’s famous and under the scrutiny of the media.

proplayer!rin whose recent breakup left his reputation in shambles. the public view him as someone talented and handsome, but his personality has too many flaws. “he’ll never find a girlfriend with such a personality” they say, when in fact, they know nothing about him.

proplayer!rin who realizes all the people who have dated him after you fail to understand him. he tries, of course, to be affectionate and doting and the perfect boyfriend. it’s never enough in their eyes. they always say he’s too distant and closed off. they’ve been with him for how long now and still don’t know anything about him. they’ve changed him.

proplayer!rin, having gone through many breakups and makeups, realizes quite a few things about love. he realizes love, or rather, people are complicated. he’s been through all of its troubles, from public scrutiny to betrayal. he discovers some only love him for his wealth and fame. and those who truly love him for who he is eventually leave him due to his lack of communication and emotional unavailability. he’s learned and grown from love.

but most importantly, proplayer!rin realizes he still loves you.

proplayer!rin who meets you again as part of a marketing campaign with your company. he finds out that you did achieve your goal of becoming a corporate worker as you are currently the manager of the marketing department.

proplayer!rin who is awkward when talking to you again after such a long time (and even pouts a little when you act like he’s a stranger).

proplayer!rin who tries to become friends with you, hoping that he’ll somehow be a part of your life. proplayer!rin who still sees the girl he crushed on in high school reminiscent inside the more mature you now. upon getting to know you and seeing how much you’ve changed, proplayer!rin finds himself falling even deeper for you.

you could sense him professing silent apologies to you through his actions as he complies with everything you ask him to do. for the first time in his career, proplayer!rin doesn’t complain one bit about doing pr.

ex!rin who finally manages to strike up a normal conversation with you a week into the campaign and totally doesn’t stutter one bit.

ex!rin who is surprised when you tell him you forgive him for breaking up with you in such a rude way considering his career did become incredibly successful (you don’t know how broken he is).

ex!rin who wants to tell you how much he regrets doing so but the words seem to be stuck in his throat.

ex!rin who begins subtly courting you again once he confirms his status as your…acquaintance.

ex!rin who finds himself buying you a (pretty expensive) gift on your birthday a few months after the campaign has ended. he spends the night before your birthday with you, wishing you a happy birthday right as the clock strikes twelve.

ex!rin who hands you your gift in his usual shy tsundere manner, not even daring to make eye contact with you. you accept it with a kind smile, even going as far as giving him a kiss on a cheek, but telling him to not take it the wrong way. ex!rin who blushes a bright red and finds color and happiness returning to his life at the slightest touch from you.

ex!rin who continues looking after you, inviting you to his games, taking you out to romantic dinners, buying you luxury items. but you feel like something is missing, it all seems so superficial. you eventually tell rin that you’re not friends with him for his luxury lifestyle and wealth, but rather for the highschooler!rin that you’d known.

ex!rin who finally pours his heart out to you one night, finally unveiling the trauma that sae caused back in his high school days. ex!rin who cries the most you’ve ever seen that night, claiming he regrets losing you so much. you’re moved by his words and actions these past few months, wanting to give him a second chance.

ex!rin who clings onto asks you to teach him how to love you again. to which you gently pat his head and agree.

friend!rin who is hesitant at first, reverting back to his shy and awkward self around you. yet you’re glad to see his boyish charm return, and you let him in, slowly but surely.

friend!rin who changes his ways and goes on more authentic hangouts with you. he cooks dinner for the both of you, goes on coffee dates, and watches movie marathons late into the night with you.

friend!rin who opens up about his career so far, talking about both his personal life and (unsuccessful) love life. he tells you about all the people he’s met and dated and (he avoids eye contact with you, a deep blush on his face) how he realizes you’re the best he’s ever had. you smile brightly at that, saying “i know.”

friend!rin who ends up giving you gifts again, but this time with much more meaning and sentiment tied to them. exhibit a : he saw the trend where people would make bouquets from scratch for their s/o and decided he had to do the same. you opened the door to rin holding a giant bouquet of your favorite flowers and an alarming amount of thorn pricks on his hand (you had to patch him up after).

friend!rin who unconsciously develops physical touch with you and only you. first it was just comfortably sitting next to each other. then it was the arm linking and casual hugs (that last a bit too long), which you consider to still be friendly gestures. but that somehow develops into intertwined hands and cuddling?? next thing you know he’s pressing himself up against you any chance he gets, resting his cheek against the crook of your neck.

this is definitely more than friends, but you don’t have to the heart to push rin away, especially when you know how hard it is for him to feel this comfortable after what happened with sae. and you would be lying if you said you aren’t enjoying it as well.

you also soon come to realize that itoshi rin is a coward. you two have been in this situationship for a month now and he still hasn’t come forward to ask you out like a proper person. so, you take matters into your own hands.

“what are we?” you ask him as you two are lazing on your couch, finding a movie to watch. “huh?” more-than-friends!rin turns to you. “i’m asking you what are we?” you make eye contact with him, “whatever this is has been going on for months and you’re not saying anything about it.”

more-than-friends!rin stays silent for a moment.

you almost think he’s chickening out and running away again when he suddenly whispers, “i wanna be your boyfriend.”

“hmm? i didn’t hear what you just said,” you push on.

“i said, i want to be your boyfriend!” he exclaims.

“okay!” you shout back.

everything falls silent. and then, boyfriend!rin pulls you down for a kiss.

loving you comes easy to boyfriend!rin. it’s like he’s breathing air. you two get off work, meet up for dinner (if your schedules permit), go on cute dates, and cuddle like it’s nobody’s business. he buys you cute things, you do the same. you travel together, eat together, and eventually sleep together when he asks you to move in. it’s different from all of the people he’s loved before.

he realizes that you do, in fact, love him the most.

[wriothesleybear]

Protective Warden

~warnings: x wriothesley, unwanted touching by stranger (grabbed on arm), otherwise just fluff.

~a/n: thank you @harlekin6 for the idea🥰 i hope this satisfies your request❤️

You step off of the elevator, relieved to finally be off of it. Even though you've taken it for the past three years, it still gets tiring from the long ride. You check in at the entrance of the Meropide Fortress. It's a quick check in as usual due to you being known around here by the employees. You were known as the Duke's wife. You were a cute, bubbly, talkative, and outgoing person. The complete opposite of your husband. The workers sometimes wonder to themselves how you two ended up together. You didn't mind their questions, laughing them off because to you, you knew who your husband was. Only you saw his softer and teasing side, the part of him you fell in love with.

You planned to surprise your husband with his favorite lunch today, wanting to spend time with him due to his work schedule keeping him busy. He would usually return late at night after you've fallen asleep and leave early in the morning before you woke up, giving you two no time to spend together. While walking to his office, you greet the usual employees and notice Sigewinnie down the hall. Her eyes shine as she sees you, happy to see you again. After a little small talk, you ask her the whereabouts of your husband. She tells you that he was currently in a meeting, busy interrogating new prisoners. You planned to wait for him in his office, but Sigewinnie excitedly asked if she could show you some new stickers she recently made. How could you say no to that face.

You follow her to her little infirmary. She excitedly shows you all of her new stickers while you give her your full attention, happy to see her like this. You enjoyed spending time with Sigewinne as did she. She was like a daughter to you. She saw you and Wriothesley like parents to her. After a while of listening to Sigewinnie talk about puffy stickers, you both were suddenly interrupted by a rookie guard entering the infirmary.

"Miss Sigewinnie, I have a prisoner who is feeling unwell. Could you take a look at him?"

"Of course! You can bring him in." She said, getting her medical instruments ready. A tall man enters the room. He didn't look scary or dangerous so you thought nothing of it. Sigewinnie tells him to sit on the infirmary bed so she can check him out. You notice while he walks over to the bed, he keeps looking at you. You pay it no mind. It takes a few minutes for Sigewinnie to figure out what was wrong and she goes into an adjacent room to make some medicine for the inmate. The whole time, the inmate keeps watching you which begins to make you a bit uncomfortable. He begins talking to you, giving you compliments on how beautiful you looked. You were polite and thanked him but continued to be uncomfortable. You hoped the visit would be over soon so he could leave. Suddenly, he gets up from the bed and walks over to where you were sitting, deciding to sit in the chair next to you. He was a bit too close causing you to scoot away from him. You ask him politely to leave you alone, not wanting to piss him off by being rude, but he ignored your request and continued bothering you. He began to say more inappropriate things to you while eyeing you up and down. You had enough and got up from your seat, planning to talk to the guard waiting outside the room. But before you could leave, the inmate grabs your arm harshly.

"Where do you think you're going. It's rude to ignore someone where they're talking to you. It's not everyday I get to see a beautiful chick like you."

You try to break your arm free, sternly telling him to let you go. He laughs and doesn't let up his grip. You begin to push him away causing him to get mad. He pulls you towards him, his grip tightening causing you pain. You yelp. Suddenly, theres a loud crash as the infirmary door is slammed open. You both look over to the doorway and see your husband. He notices the inmate's hand on you and quickly moves over to him. Wrio roughly grabs the man's shirt, moving him away from you and getting the man to remove his grip on you. He slams him against the wall. Anger is evident on your husband's face while he silently glares at the prisoner. The room begins to get a bit chilly due to your husband's vision.

"Why are you putting your hands on my wife." Wrio coldly asks.

"Wrio." You put your hand on his back and gently call his name, wanting to stop him before he beats the prisoner to a pulp. He relaxes a little. He calls the rookie guard in and orders him to take the prisoner into solitary confinement.

"Y-yes sir!" the guard nervously says before he quickly takes the prisoner away. Once they're gone, Wrio turns to you with a soft look.

"Are you okay?" he asks as he walks closer to you. You gently smile at him and nod your head. He looks down at your arm, noticing a red mark forming where the prisoner grabbed you. His anger flares again but he stops himself, focusing his attention on you. He pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arm tightly around you while he strokes your hair.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here to protect you. What are you doing here anyways? I didn't know you were going to visit."

"I wanted to surprise you with lunch and spend time with you. It's been a few days since we've spent time together and I missed you." You tell him as you nuzzle into his chest. He chuckles from your cuteness of being honest with your feelings.

"I'm sorry I haven't been able to spend time with you lately. I promise I'll make it up to you by spending the whole day with you on my next day off."

"Deal." You giggle.

"Come on. Let's go eat." While you two walk to his office, he has your fingers intertwined, walking close to you to make sure you are protected. You arrive to his office. He sits in his chair while you go get another chair to put beside him.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

"I'm looking for a chair."

"Don't need one. Come here." He pats his lap. You blush, walking over to him. Even though you've sat in his lap many times before, you still get a bit bashful.

"But you can't eat if I'm in your lap Wrio." Without another word, he pulls you onto his lap, wrapping his arms around you so you can't escape. He nuzzles his face into your neck, leaving a quick kiss on it, making you squirm.

"Wrio." You shyly say. He chuckles at your cuteness.

"What did you bring me for lunch?" He asks, changing the subject.

"Your favorite. Steak with a side of vegetables and mashed potatoes." You say as you take everything out.

"Smells good. I bet it takes great. I always enjoy your cooking."

"Yeah, I don't explode the kitchen when cooking." You tease.

"Hey, that just means it's going to taste great."

You laugh. "I will give you that. Your food does come out tasting yummy even thought you ruin the kitchen. But I suppose it's worth it." You cut the steak, taking a piece on the fork and holding it out for him. "Here. Say ahh." You tease.

He sighs. "I'm not gonna say ahh but I'll still take a bite." He eats the piece of steak. "Delicious." You feed him the rest of his meal, taking some bites for yourself here and there. Once you two finish, he kisses you and thanks you for lunch. Even when his work schedule gets in the way of your time together, special moments like these make up for it.

[loudclan-clangen]

Fish in a birdcage for Rosehip amd Dodwood tho

YES

Bee is not one of the rogues himself, but two of his sons are! Also one of Butterfly's sons, and two of Coal's sons that he had after Fiercestripe left. They aren't really important to the story so they don't get names or anything, but I think that it makes everything a little bit more tragic that Fierce is fighting her nephews who she would have loved to watch grow up and might recognize her from when they were young.

2. Kingfur and Sockeyepelt would both be pretty devastated if Chumtail dies, she's similar to Dashpaw in that she's kinda the mediator between her two more polarized siblings. Really everyone who's up on the chopping block is the most stable of their family, meaning everyone is going to be very NORMAL after this, I'm sure. Also thank you!

3. Yes! There will be stickers of the mediator kids (especially now that you've asked). I'm drawing sketches based on what people have requested, and I'll make a post letting everyone know when they go up. Currently I have Weed, Siltsplash, the Mediator Kids, and some couple stickers in the works.

There were many factors in Fiercestripe's decision. 1. Thorn was 4 moons old by the time Fiercestripe left, so she was well past carrying size (especially with Fiercestripe being a small cat). Even if Wildfirecry could carry her, or she walked on her own, it would slow their pace significantly and require them to take more breaks, leading to the farm cats likely catching them. 2. If Fiercestripe had taken Thorn then the farm cats would have more justification to track them down and forcefully bring them back. It's one thing for a she-cat to leave, it's another for a she-cat to take her mate's kit with her. (part of why the farm cats have made it to loudclan now is because they're chasing a pregnant she-cat). 3. Wildfirecry hadn't agreed for Fiercestripe to come with him. He was a stranger who had stayed a couple nights with the farm cats and was just as likely to turn her away or harm her as he was to allow her to come with him. He would have been a lot less likely to agree to travel with her if she came with the responsibility of a kitten. 4. Wildfirecry and Fiercestripe did not have an easy journey. They didn't have a destination or a set path, they just wandered from place to place for years until they were convinced to join Loudclan. It's pretty likely that had Thorn been brought with them she would have frozen, starved, drowned or been eaten by a predator given that Wildfirecry was the only one with any hunting or fighting skill, and kittens aren't as tough as grown cats. All in all, bringing Thorn along wasn't really an option. Fiercestripe's only choices were leave Thorn or stay with the farm cats and hope that another outsider came along later when Thorn was grown. (Thorn's story is a bit different, Frost and Spider were outsiders who joined the farm cats later in life, so Frost knew how to hunt and fight, thus allowing them to wait for their kits to grow before they left.)

I designed them on my own! I find pretend genetics very fun and it gives me a chance to think more in depth about the rough backstories I have for these characters and how their childhood would have affected the way that we see them act in the story.

[truelotus]

If Looks Could Kill— 06

Yandere! Sosuke Aizen x f! reader

warnings: stabbing, and pregnancy.

It has been well over 6 years since Shinji Hirako and the others have “disappeared”. Sosuke had became the squad 5’s captain after Kisuke Urahara’s incident..

It was snowing in the soul society, the whole soul society seemed to be at peace. It was the kind of snow that would make everything just go silent, serene and almost unreal..

The snow crunching at your feet as you stepped onto it, your nose was red and slightly runny. You tried to heat up your hands by using your breath, but it was really no use.

Why were you out here again?

Oh right, You just wanted to take a walk.. to.. think about certain things.

“I really should have layered more..” You hugged your own body, shivering and shaking from the cold air. The wind was just making it worse, this is probably the coldest the soul society has ever been.

“So cold!”

It has been a while since you’ve been alone, your current life has changed after joining up with Sosuke, you’ve been helping him in any way possible. But now.. you were alone.. with your own thoughts.

It was comforting, everything was quiet, nobody was around, it was only you who was out there in the snow today, everyone thought it was too cold to be out, and they were right.. it is too cold. But you just wanted to take a break from the world.

But quickly enough, your thoughts were interrupted by hearing another person’s footsteps—walking on the snow— you turned your head, expecting to see a random stranger.

Instead, you saw him.

Sosuke Aizen.

Sosuke walked closer to you in a graceful and elegant manner—as always— you stopped your tracks just so he could catch up to you.

“Y/N, I knew I’d find you out here.” He had a calm smile on his face, it seemed like he wasn’t bothered by the cold, not even the slightest bit.

“You did?” You couldn’t say that you were surprised, you knew that Sosuke kept a eye on you.. At first it disturbed you and disturbed your peace being. But eventually, you got used to it and just thought he was being overprotective over you.

He lightly chucked by your expression, as he caught up to you, he unwrapped his scarf that was originally wrapped around his neck.

He waved his hand, wanting you to come closer to him. With elegance, he wrapped his scarf around you.. the scent of his cologne was lingering on his scarf and you could smell it. Your cheeks and and nose were already slightly red from the cold but this only made them redder, it also brought some warmth to your face so you felt better than ever.

“Thank you Sosuke.” You mumbled out while fidgeting with the end of the scarf, he hummed in satisfaction, “It fits you quite well, why don’t you keep it?” He put his hand on your back to get you moving again.

“Can I really? thank you so much dear!”

“You’ve been doing so well for me recently, this is.. the least I can do for right now.” He said as he removed his hand from your back.

“It really is beautiful.”You said as you admired the little snowflakes falling from the sky, it really was beautiful.

“I could say the same thing about you.”Sosuke replies, his voice was soothing and calm. In his eyes, there is nothing as beautiful as you.. there was nothing as pure and loyal like you, you were the only perfect thing in this world.. but he’ll fix that—of course you will still be seen as perfect in his eyes—

The tension between you two seemed to lingering around still, it was hard to ignore. His presence continued to make your heart race, even after spending over a decade together, you still acted like a awkward teenage girl with her little crush.

This man has seen every single part of you, mentally and physically.. so why are you still so anxious around him? Is it because you acknowledge the obsession he has towards you? the unstable love he his towards you? or is it just because he is your lover.. and it’s just a innocent little thing you were so anxious about.

None of it really made sense to you, your own thoughts were just driving you insane.

“You have been quiet recently, have I done something to upset you? Or is it something else.” He stopped his tracks without you noticing, so when you continued to walk he grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you back to him, your face landing on his chest.

“W-What?” You said in confusion since your thoughts blocked his voice out, not hearing what he just asked.

His eyes slightly narrowed, he could feel himself getting rather frustrated towards you. He quickly calmed down, he doesn’t want his sweet lover to see him mad..

“Have I done something to you that upset you?” he repeated with a much sterner tone, he looked deep into your eyes.. no.. your soul.

He looked deeper into your soul, just like last time.. to find something deep within it. Last time he was trying to find anything disloyal to him.. this time he is looking for regret.

And that is what your soul is filled with.

Your throat tightened, you knew exactly what he was doing. You knew that he’d find what he wanted to find deep into your soul, you felt frightened, dizzy and tired..?

“I’m fine.” You lied bluntly, you turned your gaze away from him just so he couldn’t look at your eyes any longer, but you knew that it was too late. He found your true feelings already, was it over?

His smile dropped, you have never lied to him. You’ve always been truthful to him, you never even did those “innocent lies” to him.

“Really? I don’t believe you.” He grabbed your face, squishing your cheeks slightly with his one hand.

His arm snuck up on your waist, pulling you close to him. His touch was usually warm.. but this time it was rather cold. Was it the weather? or was it really him? He wrapped onto your waist as if you were on the edge of a high place, preventing you from falling down.

The whole world seemed to have stopped, even the snow that was falling down, just stopped. His soft and welcoming demeanor seemed to have fallen.

He forced you to lock eyes with him, you could see in his eyes that he was not the same man you met when first meeting him. His eyes.. the way he looked at you with his eyes seemed to make a difference as well.. it made it clear that he no longer saw you as a person completely, he saw you as something that he owns.

Before, he saw you as a mix of both.. but now? You weren’t a person anymore to him.

“Tell me, Darling.” He dangerously whispered, you could see his breath in the cold air as he spoke out. His voice sent shivers down your spine, all you could do is look at him, with a slight hint of fear in your eyes.

“Why do you pull away from me?”

“I’m not pulling away from you.”

His soft laugh only made tense, “Of course you are, You have been pulling away from me these past couple of years, haven’t you noticed? Even now.. you hide away from me.” He pushed his face further to yours.

You tried to step back, you pushed your hands on his chest. Only for him to have a tighter grip on you, preventing you from pulling away.

“I’ve given you so much..” He pecked your lips lightly, with a fake pleading look on his face. “So much and still.. seem to be unsure.”

You understood fully on what he meant, maybe.. if you just say your true feelings to him he’d understand? You wouldn’t have to do such things if you just speak about your own feelings.. maybe he won’t dispose of you.

“I never asked to be apart of your plan.” you whispered, your voice was shaky. You never asked to betray Shinji and the others, you never asked to betray your captain, you never asked for his attention or obsession, you never even thought of Sosuke ever returning his feelings towards you, you just thought you’d always admire Sosuke from afar..

But somehow.. you were lucky enough to have gained his love. And this is his love, take it or leave it.. this is a part of him loving you, so why can’t you just accept it? love comes in various of ways, just fucking accept it already.

“I know, But it doesn’t matter.” His grip on your face loosened up, the air seemed to have gotten more cooler, you could see the snow beginning to fall again, it was swirling around you both. It seemed like.. the air was starting to turn against you.

You felt suffocated.

“I know you understand, that you belong to me, you were born to be loved by me, and nobody else.” His voice was low.

“No..” You tried to protest against it, but it wasn’t enough.

“No? Are you saying that you cannot become the queen of my world then?”

“This just.. isn’t right! I can’t do it!” Tears began streaming down your cheeks, you tried to break free again but his arm was wrapped around your waist just too tight..

“Sosuke.. Y-You’re.. You’re going on a path that I can’t follow! I don’t want to-”

You stopped your words when feeling his zanpakuto going through your chest.

The warmth of your own blood began to spread through your clothes, somehow.. there was no pain behind it. “Sosuke..” You whispered out as you raised your hand, touching the blade.

“I respect your wishes Y/N.. I must say though.. I am very disappointed.” He pushed his blade deeper into your chest, causing you to cough out blood, “I cannot see another woman becoming my queen.. And if you truly do not want to become it. I have to kill you.. no matter how much I want to enforce it upon you.”

“I-I see..” You wanted to scream for help, but you knew that even if anybody came.. it’d be useless because they too would have gotten themselves killed by Sosuke.

“I had a wonderful experience with you.. Y/N.” He lightly smashed his lips against yours once more.. Smiling softly at your face.

He carefully took his blade out of you, making sure not to cause such a mess on the almost pure white snow..

There were droplets of your blood on the snow.

“Goodbye, Y/N.” He whispered before lightly placing you down to the soft snow, leaving your body there. The snow continued to be more and more stained with your blood.

You watched as he walked away, did he regret what he did to you? Were you really going to die right here? You had dreams..

Not only that..

You were carrying his child.

You were going to tell him soon.. but you were afraid on how’d he react because this was certainly not apart of his plan.

When his presence was truly gone, you used the little strength you had within you, unsheathing your zanpakuto.

“Ban..kai.”

You blinked your eyes open, you recognized the place surrounding you. This was..

The domain of your banaki.

The area was mostly covered in water, lotus flowers scattered throughout the domain. The petals of the lotus flowers were all different. In battle they were used for either healing, bombs or smoke.

In your domain, you could walk on the water, you haven’t been in your own domain for a while.. so it shocked you a bit when you were standing on the water.

“I see that you’re finally awake, Lady Y/N.”

That voice..

“Sir Seiren!” You turned around quickly to face the spirit of your zanpakuto.

Seiren was a tall, toned, beautiful man. He had beautiful long black hair, light pink eyes, his voice was soft but deep. He wore a lotus pin in his hair, the lotus pin in his hair matched the lotus hilt on your sword.

“Bout time! You’ve been in my domain for like 9 months! I was worried how you would be giving birth!” Even though Seiren had a sweet and calm demeanor, his personality was quite the opposite..

“9 months?! I’ve been in here for 9 months! wait what do you mean by giving birth?” You realized what he had just said, were you hearing things?

“Yes, giving birth! look at your damn stomach woman!” You looked down quickly, your belly was extremely round.

“How- what-”

You were at a loss for words, how was your child this big? you for sure didn’t get the nutrients for them because you’ve been out for so long. Were they going to be okay?

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve actually been taking care of you ever since you came here. Your child should have the right amount of nutrients, I’m pretty sure they do from the size of your stomach..”

“Okay that last part was unnecessary Sir Seiren!”

After a while, Seiren explained to you everything..

You used your bankai to get yourself into your domain, you for sure knew that Seiren was going to help you.

But as soon as you came into the domain, you went unconscious. Seiren went to his physical form to help you as quickly as possible , he used one of the healing lotuses to help you but.. you never woke up.

He’s your zanpakuto.. so he knew that you were pregnant. So.. he tried to give you as much nutrients as possible. This domain was kind of his own home so, he did what he could and helped you and your child.

He continued to take care of you for the next 9 months, he wasn’t a specialist or anything but he did everything he could do. He didn’t want his master to die just like that, especially when his master is carrying a child.

“What are you going to do now? Lady Y/N.”

You were at a loss for words, you would be giving birth soon. And thanks to Seiren, you were going to have a healthy baby boy or girl. You really don’t know how he did it but he did it.

“Can I stay here until my baby is born?”

“Do what you want, Lady Y/N. You can stay here for as long as you want. I really have no problem but make sure to keep that baby quiet once it starts crying! This place is peaceful.. I don’t need a baby to disturb that!”

“Thank you.. Sir Seiren.”

𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧

[lcriedlastnight]

lost the breakup | charles leclerc

○tw: alcohol, swears, charles is a proper dick, silly reader, this is the most angsty thing over ever wrote. to celebrate charles win today!○

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ : w/c: 4.3k of pure hell.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

"this would be so much easier without you!" it felt like those words flitted around your brain in a loop ever since that night in charles' flat. you hadn't intended it to turn into a massive fight, all you said was you couldn't wait for summer break to finally spend some time with your boyfriend. but seemingly that was all it took for charles to go off on one, roaring at you as if you had actually done something wrong.

you had stood, staring at the man after he had stopped ranting about how being with you only brought him down and how life before you was much easier on him. you couldn't believe that was actually what he thought of your relationship. i mean it wasn't perfect, but who's was? all that you thought mattered was that you tried to make each other happy, and up until today you had thought that you were succeeding in that, clearly not.

"do you mean that?" there was an obvious wobble in your voice that you had tried to disguise but it didn't matter, charles didn't care anyways. you knew that now.

all it took for you to scramble to find somewhere new was that singular nod of his head. you knew he wasn't sure if he meant it but he nodded. he fucking nodded. you could've forgiven him if he took it all back then and there, he didn't even have to beg for your forgiveness you would've just given him it. but he didn't. you didn't mean as much to him as he did to you and he had made that oh so clear tonight. so you did what any sane person would do, you grabbed a pair of shoes and a jacket and left. a part of you thought that maybe he had said all that just to get a rise out of you and to create a fight between the two of you, for whatever reason? you didn't know but you had a nagging feeling that was why he did it. or maybe your brain was just trying to soften the blow of your boyfriend secretly despising you for god knows how long.

so yeah, that was how you ended up rotting in your bed. at this point you really shouldn't still care about him anymore but your heart refused to let him go. and it annoyed you so much. how was it fair that you sat here mourning your relationship and what it could've been while he was out there winning grand prix's and clubbing every other night, seen with a different girl every single time. while he was out picking up girls you were picking up your heart, that had gone straight in the journal as soon as you had thought it.

the fans had realised something was up by the second day of your breakup. you hadn't even collected all of your things from his yet and they were already trending you both on twitter. it honestly felt like the last thing you needed right now but you smiled through the pain and tried to make your instagram feel as normal as possible until charles put up a statement about it, so that you could too. then you could finally put this relationship to rest.

being with charles had given you a following of sorts of your own and you felt like you owed them something, seeing as they only liked you because you were dating- used to date charles. your best friend and current roommate (for the time being, seeing as you were living with charles full time before the breakup) jess had told you millions of times that they were just random strangers and you didn't owe them anything. it never eased the weight you felt though.

one night after the third night in a row of summer break (that very same summer break that you were longing to spend with charles) that charles was out and had been pictured taking some random girl home was the night where jess had tried to snap you out of it.

"i think it hurts more that literally none of them look like me? like if any of them resembled me at least i would know that he missed me, even a little bit. even if it was subconscious, you know?" you had ranted, staring holes into your phone that had showed you the dreaded pictures of the three girls who all looked alike in regards to each other but nothing like you. in fact they were the complete opposite of you in every single way.

jess had swiped your phone off of you and slid it into the back pocket of her jeans.

"look, you technically broke up with him but it doesn't matter. he clearly doesn't care so why the fuck should you?" ever so blunt, jess was.

"i don't mean to be mean, you know that. i mean this in the nicest way possible but you have to get over yourself. this isn't the end of the world as much as it feels like it. the world has continued to spin this past week and it will continue to do so no matter what so you need to get up and live your life. you're wasting your emotions on a man who literally doesn't care whether you live or die at this point."

although it was filled to the brim with all the shit you didn't want to hear, jess knew exactly what you needed and she gave you the wake up call you had been needing since that night. that night she helped you wash your bed sheets and tidy your room up, moving the furniture while blasting taylor swift's breakup songs. jess was still letting you grieve the relationship because she knew better than anyone, that you can't just hear one inspiring speech and finally stop caring about him. even though she knew that you would stop caring sooner rather than later with the way he was acting.

★・・・・・・★

"you better not wear that skirt with those heels!" jess' girlfriend, hailey had shouted over the thrumming bass of someone's getting ready playlist. you weren't too sure who's it was but you knew for certain it was not the usual music that was played in the flat.

'the inchident' (which you thought was a particularly cruel play on words) had happened almost a month ago and jess had invited your closest friends for a night out in monaco. as well as her girlfriend, she had also invited sophie, probably your second best friend.

"why?" sophie asked back, brows down as she moves the skirt in her hands, looking for an issue with it. "it looks good, no?". three shakes of heads are her answers.

"soph it looks so fugly." jess said, trying to pull on a pair of doc martens. you had burst out laughing at that and it had set everyone else off too. you knew pre-drinks were a great idea. the group had already taken three shots already and for a lightweight like you, this was the perfect state to go to the club like. drunk enough that the night seemed endless, plus you would save a fortune on drinks while you were there too, seeing as you were almost on your way to being absolutely smashed. exactly what you needed after this past month.

as you all clamber into the taxi to take you to the club, the group chatters with each other while jess is chatting away to the driver. she got so talkative when she had alcohol in her system. the ride to the club wasn't long so when you all arrive and after you had all given about a million thank you's to the driver you head into the club.

you and sophie find a table to sit at while jess and hailey head in the direction of the bar, hailey offering to buy the first round in celebration of you finally going out with them for the first time in months.

in the taxi ride over, sophie was telling you all about the boy she was speaking to and how he may or may not be a famous athlete. after a joke or two from you about watching what she's getting into she tells you that she had been on a few dates with him and they were days away, as she put it, from becoming official. with all of this in mind you still had no idea why, when you were both on the hunt for a free table, scouring around the very back of the club, she suddenly stops in her tracks, grabs your arm and turns to face you. the poor girl looked like she was about to pass out. surely she hadn't had that much to drink already, you had just gotten here, you had thought to yourself before she spoke up.

"that's him! he's here?!" sophie whisper shouts as she kind of just stands there, almost like shes lagging. you look at her, confusion plastered all over your face.

"who? who's here?" you ask her. it's easy to tell she is annoyed at your question but she's much too preoccupied to tell you off for it in her usual sophie manner. like her fight or flight kicks in at that very moment she suddenly pulls you towards the large booth filled with people, seemingly all men but maybe a few girls from what you could make out. it was actually really dark in this part of the club.

"my man." the blonde girl whispers to you like it was obvious, nothing was obvious to you when you were sober never mind this tipsy. you recognise a man at the end of the row but it doesn't sink in your muddled brain until you are standing directly in front of near enough half of the grid.

you stand like a deer in headlights as it clicks in your brain. the weight of a thousand busses suddenly weighing down on your chest. oh this was so not good. you hadn't looked to see if he was here but did you really need to? it seemed like he was going out at any chance he could find since the two of you last spoke. you avert your attention to sophie who was standing very closely to the man at the edge, who you now could see what carlos. you had no idea that was who she was talking about.

you hear someone in front of you call your name, one of the drivers, maybe lando? he had always been nice to you any time you and charles went out together and ran into him. you don't reply, not that you get the chance to because an arm is gripping yours from behind and at first you swear your heart falls right to the ground and is so very close to taking you with it but you look over and see it was only jess and hailey with your drinks. this was not how tonight was supposed to go.

jess says something you can't hear to sophie and the blonde nods back before you feel your best friend pulling you away from the table. you still feel frozen as she drags you to a free table you and sophie must have missed on your own hunt. you felt like you were having an out of body experience. there was no fucking way in hell that just happened. no way he was here. why couldn't he just let you have this one night to yourself without ruining it? he had already ruined your life, what else does he want?

hailey slides you your drink of choice and heads back up to the bar to order another, knowing you'll need it. jess could see the look in your eyes even if you couldn't feel it yet. what stage of grief was this you were in now? because all you wanted to do was to get the ground to swallow you whole. maybe depression. jess' soft voice pulls you out of your daze.

"hey, drink it. i'm not encouraging drinking to numb your feelings but tonight is not the night to deal with whatever the fuck that was." jess says, her voice as comforting as she could make it. you really appreciated it so you downed your drink and waited for hailey to come with your next.

"we'll process this tomorrow but tonight, we drink." hailey says as she returns. you swear you hear her curse sophie under her breath as you drink. you didn't blame sophie though, she didn't know he would be there and clearly didn't think before she acted. you think that maybe hailey and jess are mad at her now. great, another thing in your life falling apart. you were so getting shitfaced tonight.

the drinks blended into one another as you danced with your friends after sophie had joined you, after promising to carlos she would leave with him.

you were swaying to one of your favourite songs when carlos come over to distract sophie, you just smiled at the two 'couples' that surrounded you. even if there was a clear favourite, nothing against carlos but c'mon. it was jess and hailey. speaking of they had signalled to tell you they were off to join the long line for the toilets. they had asked of you wanted to come but you didn't need to pee so you said no. you should've went though, you probably would need to pee by the time you got to the front of the line but your drunk brain was not in the mood for rational thinking.

that's why when a man slides his arms around you don't protest it and instead lean into him. it had nothing to do with the familiar scent flooding your nose or the hums you heard every single night in your sleep, nope. nothing to do with that twat.

"This one is your favourite, no?" his accent fills your ears and you can literally feel the tension from the past month ease out of you. you lean further into charles as you sway a little to the beat. you were far too drunk to dance properly, the way you were when you first stepped foot onto the dance floor.

"mhm." you nod as your hands slide down to rest on his clasped ones, which were holding your stomach to keep you close, you hoped. charles moves his head to right behind your ear, just so you can hear him better. there was no way he didn't hear or even feel your breath hitch at the feeling of his breath on your ear. if you weren't this plastered then you would be so embarrassed at how easily you let charles do this again. you could even hear the rational part of your brain screaming at you, asking you what you were doing but you could barely even see at this point so of course you ignored it in favour of being the girl in his arms again.

"then why'd all your friends leave you, sweetheart?" charles asks, it feels teasing and maybe even a little mocking but there is no way you would be able to tell the difference in this state, so you just respond, dumbly. "they went to pee."

charles laughs in your ear and it sends goosebumps throughout your body and puts a sappy grin on your face. you hadn't heard his laugh in a while and it felt so good to hear it again. it felt like home to you and god had you been homesick.

you would've done anything the man asked you to when you were like this, well maybe sober too but when you were sober you would've definitely put up more of a fight about doing it. maybe charles was taking advantage of this as he practically moves you both to the next song that plays. it's a good job that jess and hailey come back when they do because you would've done anything for him. it felt like he actually wanted you again. you had missed him like this and here he was acting like he couldn't get enough of you. every part of you hoped to remember this in the morning as both girls pulled you away from his grasp (without any fight from charles, which told the girls everything they needed to know) and took you home, without as much as a goodbye to sophie. safe to say she was not going to be invited round again after tonight.

the next morning consisted of waking up at three pm with the sorest headache you think you've ever experienced and a blurry memory. turns out your hoping and praying last night had worked because the only thing you can remember is the way charles held you. the words he said weren't one hundred percent clear but god if this didn't set you back three weeks. jess was furious with sophie and hailey had literally cut her off in every single way possible. jess tells you over dinner that night that hailey had blocked sophie last night when you had gotten home and it did make you laugh but now you had to mourn the end of two relationships. you knew it was for the better but it still killed you, ripped you apart from the inside.

the thing that hurt you most was charles. you reflect on it in the shower after dinner. he knew how drunk you were and he still came over, clearly because he knew it was the only time you would let him back in without any fight. did that mean he missed you like you missed him? or was he just doing it because he could, showing you (a drunk you, mind you but still you nonetheless) that no matter what he still had his claws in you? your questions were answered as you scrolled through a gossip page and seen that charles left with another girl who looked nothing like you last night. you really had to stop looking through those pages, it did nothing but bring you down.

★・・・・・・★

nothing prepared you from the instagram dm from the quiet australian mclaren driver about another month after the club incident. he had never really spoken to oscar a lot before back when you were a regular in the paddock but it was still super nice to hear from him. it didn't mean you were prepared for him to ask you if you wanted paddock passes to be guests of mclaren at the next race. when you had asked what you had done exactly to deserve this gift, oscar had responded with 'i know your birthday is coming up and i also know how much you love f1'. you cried to jess before texting him back that you would take them. he was such a lovely boy.

you knew how bad ferrari were doing because you were an f1 fan way before you had even met charles so you of course kept up with the sport even after the breakup. even though it killed you to see his face on the screen. and you would never admit this to anyone, not even jess but seeing ferrari do so badly did make your heart ache for charles.

a few days before the race jess takes you shopping to find the outfit that makes charles beg for you back just so you can let him down harshly. her words of course, you would never even think that. as much as he's hurt you there wasn't a bone in your body that wanted to hurt him in return.

"i'm not drinking today, or tonight." you inform jess as you enter the paddock, the cameras immediately snapping in your face. you had not been in the eyes of the media for a good few months and now coming back to this made you feel dizzy but you powered through it because you had missed attending races so much. you found yourself beating up past you for not appreciating the privilege you had, getting to attend all those races.

"mhm, sure you aren't." jess doesn't even try and entertain you. you roll your eyes at her words.

"we both know what happened the last time alcohol and a certain ferrari driver mixed and i, for one, don't feel like going back down that road again." you try to make a joke out of it you're sure it would've worked if it was anyone but jess, she knows you far too well.

oscar greets you not long after and has the audacity to thank you for accepting his invite, he was literally the sweetest boy who's ever walked the earth and jess was sure to let him know of that fact. it left him with a big grin and rosy cheeks.

you and jess both cheer on the mclaren cars, which you have to admit, was one of the weirdest things about the full experience. you couldn't help but let your eyes wander to the red of the ferrari cars every now and then. you will your eyes to shift in the opposite direction every time. no way was anyone catching you lacking today, not on jess' watch that was for sure.

lando and oscar end up both on the podium so it was a great finish for the papaya team. oscar comes over with lando this time, after the podium and they both thank you and jess for coming again and this time you give them both swety, champagne covered hugs, unaware of the eyes peering into your soul.

said boy catches you on your way out, again when you're alone while jess makes a quick pitstop at the bathroom. you were hanging around across the hall, waiting for her to come out.

"hey, didn't know you still came to races." charles tries to make casual conversation with you. like the months you two were together didn't mean anything and like he hadn't just used you as a player in his game when you were hammered last month. this man has no dignity you swear. you had thought a few nights after the night out at the club that night.

"oscar asked me." you take a page out if jess' book and stick to the blunt responses. you knew you had moved on from the boy in front of you because as soon as he made his way over you weren't nervous or excited, you were annoyed. it made you feel happy and a little healed. charles seems surprised at your bluntness so he cuts to the chase.

"i miss you." he utters your name. "i miss you so much. i keep dreaming about us, and every morning, it feels like I've lost you all over again." you don't even look in his eyes to see if he's telling the truth. you used to be able to read him for filth, like he was your favourite book that you had read and re-read a million times, a book you had scribbled all your thoughts onto. now he just feels like a book you used to love when you were a child and as much as it helped shape you into the person you are now, you have new favourites now, that you read over and over and write inside, for someone else to read your thoughts and feelings.

you do though, see it hitting charles that you won't let him walk all over the top of you anymore. you see it register on his face and he makes a move to leave you be. maybe the you from a few weeks ago would've cried at the thought of this happening but whatever has happened to you in the past couple week has helped you grow mentally and helped you know your worth. charles walks away without so much as a goodbye, and you hope it kills him.

[harveybwabbit92]

Grocery girl: Ken Sato x Reader pt. 4

You were a delivery girl who was frequently dispatched to famous baseball player's Ken Sato residence, you were a nobody that anyone hardly paid attention to, until you found the legendary baseball passed out on his front steps looking like hell, being a bit of worry wart you help him inside and that things took a HUGE turn when you find yourself playing mommy for a giant baby dragon….

Part 1, Part 2,Part3

==============================

The thing about being new parents is they go into it not thinking how much it'll change their life. as they build a routine around the baby's care that they often forget that they're still people, and need to take of themselves and each other wise over time the stress will start to boil over. And Ken had reached that boiling point as he came home from the game furious cos he got chewed out by the coach and he took his frustrations out on R/n as soon as he walked through the door.

The aftermath of the argument that ensued left Kenji with a sore cheek and even more bruised ego as R/n stormed out of the house in tears her parting words being "You have no right coming at me like, Sato! I'm not who took in giant baby and forced a stranger to uproot her life, because he's too proud admit that he bit off more than he could chew." Kenji made his way downstairs and felt his legs shake as he made his way towards the baby's containment chamber feeling even more frustrated.

He finally breaks down crying grieving over the stress and trials that came with parenting and driving off the only person that had been trying to help him and what was worst...even if he did go after R/n, he wouldn't know where she would go! in the month that they've lived together; never once had they ever sat down and just have a real conversation that didn't involve the baby. That, and he hadn't exactly been the nicest guy since she moved in with him either.

Mina asked if Ken would like to hit some balls as that usually helps him feel better and started up a simulation of the dodger stadium. Unfortunately Ken's frustrations seem to grow as he missed every pitch thrown his way, Baby watched him curiously and started giggling thinking he was being silly; He eventually got sick of everything and retreated to his room.

He kicked the mini fridge in his couch open finding a single can of coconut water. Ken snorted tried to kick the drawer shut but it was being stubborn after the fourth kick it finally locked and Ken buried his head into his hands. Mina approached him concerned, she explained that Kenji was experiencing a breakdown due to stress, no surprises there. She asked if he would like to participate in a counseling session simulation. Ken didn't want that.

"I need to talk to someone, not something...offense Mina."

"Then perhaps you should call someone, a friend? "

"A friend...Well I just chased out the closest person I could call a...."

"Ken?"

Ken had an idea who to call he ended up calling Ami Wakita for help hopefully she can help him sort his head out and maybe help fix things with R/n, but first he had to come off as subtle as possible so the reporter doesn't suspect his current living situation. Ken waited a rings for Ami answer. "Miss Wakita,. It's Ken, Ken Sato, I need to talk to you." Ami panicked a little thinking Ken calling to complain about her most recent article she'd done on him. "Oh, Mr. Sato. If this is about what I wrote, I'm sorry but I solely write based on what I see-" Ken interrupted her assuring that the reason for him calling had nothing to do with her article, he just needed a minute to talk.

Ami cut him a deal; five minutes of talking and he gives her an exclusive interview, Ken reluctantly agreed her her terms and began talking. He wanted to know how she does make it work? How does she juggle her job while also caring for her family at the same time? "I mean, how did you did not lose it on your partner or resist the urge to throw your kid out a window?" There was a slight pause on the other end and Ken was worried he said too much before Ami spoke. "Ken, do you have a secret wife and child? cos that would make one heck of a story.~" Ken felt his cheeks burn as he firmly denied it Ami snickered assuring him that she was joking.

She told him that parenting was difficult even with two people but it's a rewarding journey and though it can seem bleak and stressful at times, but there's always that awe that comes with these little lives are relying on imperfect you to guide them through it all, even teaching you a few things along the way the feeling you get from experiencing it is... "Incredible..." Ken said in awe as he watched the baby trying to copy him from watching some of his old games.

He asked Mina to lower the kaiju's containment field and managed to get a hold of a giant baseball bat he just randomly had lying around and handed it off to the baby. "...And your five minutes are up!" Amy stated Ken hadn't heard her right away as he was trying to Baby how to swing her bat. "Ken, are you still there?" The baseball players eyes widened as remembered her was on call with her. "Oh, yeah. thanks!" Ami said his thanks can be the exclusive interview he promised. "Ah, right. Let's meet tomorrow at Tonkatsu Tonki in Meguro, around 7?" He hung up before Ami agreed and Ken returned to teaching Baby how to play baseball he had Mina bring up a simulation a baseball field from his childhood complete with his mom cheering him on front the stands.

Ken showed the baby how to hold her bat and went to pitchers mound the first try didn't go so well as Ken had accidentally nailed her in the forehead causing baby to started crying; Ken went to calm her down and reassure her. "It's okay, it happens. We'll try again. this time keep your eye on the ball." Ken went to pitch again and this time baby hit a homerun! Ken and Mina cheered and ran up to the kaiju. "C'mon girl, time to run your bases!" the the baby laughed and chirped giddily as she followed her daddy.

Cut to an hour later the baby has fallen asleep though with some difficulty, Ken learned that R/n would sing to the infant kaiju; which was news to him(he was usually K.O.'d or fighting Kaiju while R/n was on duty.) According to Mina R/n has lovely singing voice. Lucky the teddy bear R/n got Baby combined some Music box melodies playing on the speakers was enough to calm the infant dragon down. Now Ken had different matter to attend to: Apologizing to R/n. it's been an hour or so and she still hasn't come back...

He did relax a little knowing they were on an island so she couldn't have gone far, she would've had to borrow one of his cars to leave (There was a Baby incident with R/n's car.)..."Mina did you give R/n a watch?" he asked in an anxious tone Mina confirmed that she had. "Bring her location up." Ken brows furrowed in concern as R/n location showed her off the shore in the ocean. "She probably walked onto a shoal path and got trapped on on a rock something when the tide came in." Mina theorized that didn't calm Ken's nerves as he told Mina to keep an eye on baby while he went to look for R/n he turned into Ultraman left for a swim out the airlock.

Meanwhile

R/n was cold, sore, wet and pissed off and worst off trapped on this rusty-ass buoy that she managed to grabbed onto as the current pulled her away from the shore, R/n scratched her arms and legs up from climbing onto to it as the ocean came more restless with each passing minute, and all she could do was sit there and berate herself. "Because you let it get to you, You let the stress and Ken get to you and that's you how you drowned in the sea...." R/n eyes widened horror as the realization dawns on her "Holy crap, I'm going to drown in the sea" Her complexion turned ashen as she last out a small gasp. "..Just like Meimei's card reading said." R/n said thinking back to her last shift.

*R/n was sitting in the DN6 break room eating lunch while Meimei sat across from her giving her a Tarot card reading with Digimon cards??? R/n looks at cards then at the teen skeptically. "...And how exactly would I drown in tea?" she asked while taking a bite of her sandwich.*

R/n thought it over for moment then shrugged "Eh, close enough..." And this was All be cause she just wanted a few minutes to herself and to be far away from Ken as possible! But being stuck out here made R/n realize she couldn't really blame him for lashing like that. He was stressed out they both were, neither of them haven't had a moment of peace in what seemed like forever! Hell they've barely spoke to each other since R/n moved in...One of them was bound to snap from the pressure eventually!

R/n looked across the pitch dark bay at the distance of the Ultrabase and wondered if she should risk it and try to swim back? The delivery girl looked down at her scrapped hand and legs then snorted. She'd never make it, R/n was by no means a profession swimmer and even if she was there was a risk of riptides; that with all the blood she was leaking she'd be inviting every predator in a near mile to a free dinner! 

While was stressing over her current predicament she failed to noticed the two blue lights under the waters surface searching around until they looked up, they seem brightened up when they noticed her sitting at the water's edge, R/n let out a panicked yelp as tried to hang on to the buoy for dear life as the waves caused by the unknown entity crashed against it threatening to send R/n tumbling out to sea! *Oh, Great...now I'm gonna get eaten by a kaiju!* The delivery girl thought as the unknown creature broke the waters surface but what greeted R/n wasn't some aquatic monster wanting to eat her but instead the towering figure of Ultraman standing over her.

"R/n." He said with a relieved sigh as he leaned down to get better look at her. "Are you okay?" The delivery girl hugged the buoy tight as his movements caused the water to shift around. "I'd be happier if I was on land!" the delivery girl whined as the buoy shifted violently Ken reached out and held the buoy still while he held out his free hand out for R/n to climb on to. The tiny woman reluctantly hopped on and expected Ken to just walk them back to the base but instead he suddenly cupped his other hand over her. "Hey, take a deep breath for me, ok?" R/n looked up confused at what Ken was doing. "Hold my breath? what for-" her voiced echoed of into the distance as Ultraman suddenly flew off into the sky.

R/n felt like her stomach was yanked into her feet as Ultraman flew them somewhere when he finally stopped and set her down R/n needed a minute to get her bearings before looking around her eyes widened in awe as she took in the white sandy beach and untamed jungle in the distance. "Where is this?" she asked looking up at the silver giant who rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "It's just a random island my dad used for training, it's small enough not show up on any maps and completely uninhabited." he explained as the [y/hc] woman looked out into surroundings she could see some parts of the the island were all kinds of torn up and in the pale moonlight she could see areas of the beach were glassed over like it had been hit by a lighting strike or say an alien energy beam...

"Why did you bring me here-....Are you going kill me?!" Ultraman looked at her startled "What the hell makes you think that?!" R/n goes on a rant on how she knows and seen too much, she could go to the press! Which she wouldn't actually... but still she's a liability to his life! "Would you calm down? I'm not gonna kill you...I brought you here to talk." Ken reassured as he sat down, it was kinda funny seeing Ultraman sitting so casually in that sand as R/n reluctantly joined him...

the two of them relaxed to the sound of the waves crashing on the beach and crickets chirping in distant the jungle as Ken finally spoke up. "I'm sorry freaked out at you like that, It's just this whole thing with the baby and my jobs-" His timer started blinking R/n put her hand on his thigh. "Hey, It's okay. I get it..." Ken didn't seemed too convinced.

"No, what you said earlier; about uprooting your life... I never thanked you once for that did I?" The giant asked looking down the human his eyes dimmed somberly as R/n removed her hand from his thigh and looked down at her lap. "It wouldn't hurt to hear it every now and then...." The giant moved his hand so it was rested behind R/n who leaned back against it. "Well thanks, for everything." he said as the two sat in silence for a few moments enjoying the silence before R/n spoke up.

"I'm curious why haven't you switched back to human, don't you have 3 minutes or something?" Ultraman looked down at her oddly. "Uh...What? I don't have time limit, why would you think that?" he asked with sight laugh R/n's mouth opened but closed again when she couldn't come up with an answer. "I'm not sure...maybe I read it somewhere?" Ken was curious now and went to press where she had read that from? but was interrupted by Mina calling informing that the baby was waking up soon and she won't be happy seeing both her parents gone.

 "Welp, looks like break time over, let's go home" He held his hand out for R/n to hop onto this time delivery girl was ready for take off as Ultraman jumped up into the sky, when they got back to base Mina chewed Ken out for not bringing straight home to have her scrapes treated before the deciding to run away for an hour.

========================

{Ultraman didn't turn back into Ken cos he knew they weren't going to be staying on the island long.]

{Also: Did you catch the Archer reference?}

=========================

@mf-rockstar,@pattycakes2024,

@the-unhinged-raccoon,@karebears-klub,

@oh-kurva, @mashiromochi,

@boogiemansbitch, @ok-boke

@dap11

[kel-lance]

JJK Mafia Au (JJK x Reader) PART 2

Part 1

Warnings:- TW: Dead dove dont read (DDDR) Minors do not interact (MDNI): SA, Physical Assault, DubCon, NonCon, Mindbreak, Public Humiliation, Breeding, Ownership, Gaslighting, Multiple manipulation, RWORD, PTSD, a lot more toxic sh.

Premise: Reader lives in a city where the two biggest gangs keep things line until the third gang showed up. That had nothing to do with you though, until dumb luck just happened to favor you one day. Basically You’re picked up and used by every dangerous criminal within the clans due to some alliances they had to create due to some members messing up the previous alliances. ((Almost everyone’s gonna have a turn 🤗)) ( i have 11 more chapters planned out right now meaning after i write those ill still be writing more.)

“We’re done for today.” The large man reaches for his robes. You don’t bother to move. Just breathing hurt. It was his off day and he was deciding to break you in, deciding to keep you for however long you were durable. He was amused with your reactions. He liked it. He found it interesting how you were also trying to survive. He’d play along as your god now. 

You lay in the bed and his finger prints stained your skin, each strike created blots of purple and blue and green. You liked bruises before, it showed how you fought for it. 

You apparently woke up two days later, and he lets you rest. Your body finally turns off survival mode for a second, just a second to adjust to the warm room. Four walls, the nice smell, it was just another thing you weren’t used to. Stillness. It was boring. But under these circumstances you were glad to have your own padded room to deal with this.

The time you were left alone, you didn’t know how long that would be. Another hour or so you’d think he’d come back in, hearing as you’re up. Time for more torture, though do torture victims get a bed and tended to? It felt more like you were a sacrifice, meant to appease him, though no one handed you over. 

You were brushed, scrubbed raw, and even felt a bit of shame for the way you were living compared to the two ladies who were taking care of you. But you didn’t know how long they’ve been in this line of work. Hell they honestly looked like they were born into it with the cold looks in their eyes. They could care less about your well-being, though they found and scrubbed every inch of you. Of course you didn’t want strangers to look at you, especially after such a moment that brought you here. To be real, these twins are probably the only people who knew you more than anyone you currently knew. 

Friends? You had a few, some to help you out sometimes, some to let you crash at their place. It was all fair game to the people you knew. Life was never easy for them and they knew of you being a free spirit. You didn’t leech off of them for you’d always show up with something in exchange, usually something you stole but it would never get traced back, it was either too common (but useful) or just something that would never be brought out of shown off. 

You weren’t a bad friend for it, if anything you were the perfect guest, though this time you didn’t mean to give yourself away for a few nights stay.

“I gotta get out of here, but where would I go? These people have already seen my face and I can’t tell how many more there would be. I can’t request anything to learn the layout of this place and no one will talk to me. If I leave I’ll have to run further and faster than I already have been…” You ponder more, sitting at the table placed in front of the window. 

They’re smart enough to know what I’d do if I wanted to pick a fight with their lord, of course there are guards at more doors, even under the window out your room, and it’s safe to say that there’s even a guard at each vent that’s connected to your room. 

“Why does it seem like I’m so special?” You sit and open the window, the guard below moves from his post to observe you on the same side has the other posted to view you. You look down at then and offer a wave, saying you’re not doing anything stupid, but you just wanted some air. One of them leaves, probably to get Sukuna. 

“I bet he’s just a lonely loser and I just happen to fall into his lap, or maybe I was one of many and was the newest. The girls here looked like they could be in the same position as you, though why weren’t they? They didn’t look like they were his blood, and there was no way that he could be their dad. That would make things even worse since you’re close in age as the twins. 

You see the guard go back to his post, nonchalantly. “Weirdo.” You thought. Not even a second later your room door whips open. Jumping from your place at the table, you turn and see who other than the man with the unpredictable entrances. “Finally up?” He leans on the door frame. “Honestly, you’re so dramatic for that.” He teased, being strangely familiar to you.

“Dude…” You caught yourself about to tell off this stranger. All you’ve known from him is that he’s having fun taking you and making you a toy, that his name was Sukuna and how everyone seemed under his control. Not that they enjoy it, but it didn’t look like anyone, even in their numbers, would stand up to someone like him. 

It still wasn’t apparent for you. He only told you his first name, his last could tell you that you were in even more danger than any “normal” man doing this to you. It could be such a metaphor but you’re literally trapped in the best place you’ve ever been. Was that just life? all the bad comes up when you’re supposed to be happy, and realizing how good you’ve had it as it gets ripped apart in front of you? The balance of it all only comes with ignorance, which was also why you wouldn’t get attached. You didn’t run to one person for everything you didn’t need more than what you’d ask for and that wasn’t much. If they were lucky you’d be there for 3 days at most. 

You lost your voice, his presence set in, bringing you out of your (if you can all it that) relaxed state. He notices you tense up, the look in your eyes begging him to give your body a break. He huffs and saunters into the room, taking a seat at the end of the bed, the side that’s facing you. “You had some time to clear your head, now tell me what was your intention. Playing dumb suits that pretty face of yours… But that’s not why I’m here.”

You sure knew nothing about this guy. Other than his name and how his body looked. How he felt was different, it just happened so fast that you could only remember how it lingered in your belly after he left you the second time. It wasn’t something you can forget, those were the best orgasms of your life. “Sukuna… I’m serious.” 

“You expect me to believe that? Did I hit you too hard?” You almost wanted to laugh, you saw stars and colors you couldn’t before his knuckles contacted your skull. Lifting his hand from his side to place under his chin made you flinch, a bit too hard for his liking apparently.  It took a lot for you to muster standing up on your own, much less realize you had to get to the table by needing support from the wall. It was like you were in an ice skating rink and had to hold onto the walls for dear life, except there was no ice, it was just pain in your body not letting you level yourself out.

“When you’re ready to talk, I might hear you out. My patience is thin you already know.” He stands and closes your door, sent a shiver down your spine. Him not being close to you, or hurting you, having this quick visit was so unsettling. 

It haunted you for hours. He didn’t touch you. The edge of the bed where he sat still held an energy, like he left a part of him right there to keep watch over you. 

He definitely hit you too hard, you were thinking more outlandish things to go with this scenario. Like why didn’t the touch you? You thought he was going to keep a pattern, that maybe after this he would come in periodically to taunt you. That maybe his patience has worn out and he was going to get rid of you any minute now, or to use you again. 

The trauma you got from this certainly messed with your self soothing methods. Every time you catch yourself hitting your peak of your self imposed orgasms, you were almost wishing you had more than just your fingers. You didn’t want him, but seriously its already been 2 weeks. You were gonna go crazy in here. The girls kept bringing you your meals, and a bathroom is attached, though you couldn’t do much by yourself. 

You were to let the others feed and bathe you, and you honestly hated it. It was way too weird, you never talked to them, and they never tried with you so it felt like there was an agreement to just not speak about it. That none of you were here willingly. That gave you some insight. Your body healed itself enough that you didn’t need the wall to walk anymore, making your trips to the table in front of the window more frequent. 

You notice some sort of schedule Sukuna follows, as well as a few other noticeable men in this kind of gated community. Whatever he has gong on here, it felt like you were almost a stolen princess locked away in a tower or something. “You have GOT TO get a hold of yourself.” You didn’t need to see a doctor or someone, you were fully aware that these thoughts were just you daydreaming to escape reality, yet again. Though this time it was getting boring, you couldn’t help yourself, literally. 

At this point you wanted to even ask one of the guards if they wanted to come in and help you out, but you didn’t have to do that, because a day later you decided to act. Rolling around night time, you decided to open your window a noticeable amount. By then the guards usually leave one guard to patrol the grounds in each quarter. 

The ones outside your door either end up sleeping or one leaves the other for a bathroom break, some nights they both go, probably to blow each other you thought. It wasn’t any of your concern, they did it before when you could barely move, but now you were agile again, enough to move around without hissing at each moment.

 Placing your ear to the door, you heard light snoring through it. “Okay, just find his room you thought. You knew that it took about 60 steps to reach a stair case, then that would be about 24 steps down. You could hear his footsteps through the pairs of others who followed him, as his echoed with pace, and the others almost scuttled behind them like bugs.. 

You find your way slipping past heavy wooden doors, making sure it wouldn’t creak, you saw the walkway in the garden. You looked up and saw your room, you knew it was yours as it was the only one with the window open. you knew that the guard just left this fourth of his grounds. You were searching the area for his room. Peering through the windows, it would have been hard to tell if it was him, but his tattoos were honestly unique. 

None of them were him, you go back to the walkway, going down the opposite end, just blindly working your way through. You couldn’t just walk through any door, it could be your last mistake, it being Sukuna or not. But it just had to be him, you wanted so badly to find his familiar face and just, you don’t know. 

You decide to be more ballsy, there’s surely no way he’s be in the same quarters that has this many people,” you decide to take your chance with the left corridor. “I wouldn’t take him for a cuddly guy anyway.” 

Listen, you know it sounds crazy, but if you even got to escape, you’d be hunted like a fox, unnecessarily, and as a spectacle for others to watch. But if you could find him, and do it yourself, “I mean, at least I’d die with something, and what a funny way to go.” You loved to joke about these kinds of things. Anytime it seemed dark, you’d find yourself cracking a joke or going off an other tangents from the barrage of thoughts coming your way.

You hold your breath as you set your fingers around the doorknob, you pull it back slowly, and turn it, to silence any squeaks it may have. After turning it fully, you let it go back and unclenched your fingers to let it go a second time, making sure there was no noise from the metal trap, and decided to go in. 

What fucking luck you had as if you broke into another room you’d think your breathing would start to give you away. As you head towards the bed, the raising figure laying there was him. Your eyes had adjusted to the dark, so much so that you could just stand in front of him. 

Looking down at him you wondered what you should do. You’re not going to kill him, that’s one thing, though you had nothing to lose, you still liked your life and you enjoyed whatever adventurous you got yourself into. It was always just one thing after the next and you’d rest when needed, but you loved it. 

This was totally different though. Before it was like you were born into this work and have to abide by its rules. As of right now you could do /anything/. What else would you do? 

You look down at him, kneeling at the edge of the bed to face him. Looking at his face like this, completely defenseless, his harsh eyes weren’t poking at you or telling you exactly what he was thinking. No he was just, he looked human. Like if you were to have met him at any other place it would possibly be on a magazine cover or an army recruitment booth posted wherever. 

“Damn bastard is beautiful.” You thought. “I didn’t get this far to stop now. Fucking 2 weeks you keep me here and don’t do anything? Do you know how boring that is? You can’t just keep me here and forget.” All that time alone had gone to your head, did you forget how he treated you the time you met? 

Tbh it fades in and out, your memory’s cut up pieces of film that randomly plays an old memory, and since you can’t recognize it, you call it a dream. 

Nothing could take you away from where you were now. Looking over him, still not a care in the world. Nothing could wake him if he’d allow it. You cocked your head to align your eyes with his, and reach out and brush your fingertips across his jawline. 

How much of this could you enjoy before he kills you for breaking out? Just that thought had you slowly leaning in, your hand before tracing his face was leaning onto the bed to support your intrusion. 

First, you kissed his forehead. The poor fuck probably hadn’t felt the touch of a real lover in ages, he just finds and uses whatever and whoever he wants, whenever. Of course you didn’t pity him, but does he even know what being loved properly was like? You’re really one to be asking. 

You peck the smooth, hot skin, and kissed a line across his cheek, getting more sensual with the next. His touch, even sleeping was still so manly. His body was so, honestly the words seem odd, but he looked so edible. Like you almost couldn’t keep your lips off of him. He was so yummy when you get a good look at him. 

Cupping his face, your lips reach his, beginning to lightly stimulate the connection. You lean in further, applying yourself onto him, guiding open his mouth with yours as you lick his lips. This shit was getting you so excited, considering all that he’s done to you, having this moment, where you’re in control and he was at your mercy, and only you know this.

Continuing to make out with your kidnapper, you moved yourself to get on top of him. His lazy reaction of kissing back had you think he was a deep sleeper, god you really wished. 

You opened your eyes just to make sure he was still asleep, but his eyes were staring back at you, with the same look he always has. You didn’t have time to even make a sound before he had you under him. His hand grabbed your waist and turned kept you parallel to him as his leg pushed his body to get on top. 

You could feel his erection, he was basically stabbing your thighs with his head. His hands pushed your wrists into opposite sides of your head, and he has you immobilized as he sat on your legs. Most you could move was your toes and neck, but he had pressed his face up against yours. 

“I don’t even know where to start with you. If you wanted to kill me, you would’ve already. Maybe I can believe you’re just some random, …but you wouldn’t have come to my room.” He lets a wrist go to reel back and strikes your face as a warning. Seriously, no sane person would just come straight back to him in your situation.

“The guard fell asleep?” Nothing gets by him. You can’t tell if he was just prepared for everything or if he planned this out. The excitement you were feeling before was being clashed with the sudden shock to your face. “Depending how the rest of the night will go will determine his punishment.” 

Keeping everything in place, he moves your chin up by his nose, giving him space to start attacking your neck. “We’ll just start with yours.” His grasp tightened around each wrist, so much so that he was pulling on the tendons in your forearms, making your fingers involuntary curl. 

Your luck may have run out, but you weren’t as scared. Trying to enjoy the moment as much as possible, knowing fully well that you’re about to be eaten alive, and god, youve been waiting. His teeth grazed your collar bone, making their way back up, making themselves a known threat to your neck. 

“Speak.” He orders. “Who sent you?” 

“You still think I’m a spy?” The spot where he hit you was pounding, but it didn’t hurt. Other parts of your body were just pulsating along with your heartbeat, you knew he was going to take that as a sign of fear. 

“Hurry up, we have a meeting tomorrow so I’m trying to be considerate for everyone else.” 

He’s still not listening. You weren’t either at this point, finding his roughing up sort of endearing. Maybe he didn’t want to get blood on his bed, or maybe he did care about that stupid meeting. All you could feel was vigorous pulsating from your wrists, your face, your heart, and more than anything else, your pussy. 

This was literally what you came here to do, this was why he even took you with him wasn’t it? Seriously whatever big shot he thinks he is… this shit wasn’t legal; You were serious on going out with a bang, raising your hips to create some friction on his hard on. 

Sukuna seemed to notice the look in your eyes and gave you another firm slap. “Focus, doll.” He adjusts his hips a few inches too far down your liking, his hands being the only thing touching you. 

“Put it back.” You got this far, now he wants to start questioning you immediately after waking up? He picked you up after meeting and ignored you for two weeks, you’re about to do what most others would. Especially if they’re in the same situation with the same circumstances.

“You’re not the one to be giving orders, much less to me.” 

You raise your hips back up to his head, having it dip into you, crossing your clit but unable to enter fully. His tip could find its way in no problem, it was just his call, and that almost drove him over the edge. You’ve stopped fighting back, for something like your freedom and what’s better for you. 

What you were after now was just one more orgasm brought by that monstrous mf. He doesn’t drop his guard, or change his face at all as he accepted “your bait/distraction”. In this position, you’re still straight legged, laying in his bed as he has you held down, arms pinned, palms up, and legs trapped as he sat on your thighs. 

He could easily kill you now, but it would honestly leave a bad taste as no one’s been killed in his room before, much less even entered without permission. You both didn’t know what to think really. 

To you he’s some strange and strong asshole who’s been unclear if you were his sex toy or if you were “invited” and he was just being a terrible host. Honestly, it felt worse to you to have everything you needed; Without your freedom, you were honestly thinking it’d be better to be dead. 

To him, you were dangerous. You got it all right. From the room, to the person to bump into, to the alley. You could have been a spy laying low, from whichever gang he thought you were from, he thought it would be good to hold you off to send a message to see who would come collect you first. They wouldn’t send someone if they didn’t have something to say. 

At first he did just want to keep you until one of them sent them back another message. It didn’t matter what happened to you, honestly he got bored. He’s a busy man, there was really nothing else to say. 

So imagine his surprise how you came crawling all over him tonight. He knew an assassin would’ve done it before he even knew the door opened, they were to make sure it was quick. The attack would have had to been fatal, whether they succeed in one shot or have them die as they’re leaving. And how quick they leave is how desperately they want to live. 

You, just came in to stare at him and decided you wanted something else. And it didn’t seem like revenge. That was a first, especially for him. Right now he was allowing it, letting you go. There was no way you could harm him, he concluded. 

Looking down at you squirm and pout, upset on how close you were to getting what you’ve been aching from and for. He won’t drop his guard, but he sure as hell was silver platter served. Really how badly did you want it?

He connects your wrists at the top of your head with one hand, the other has its index finger and thumb at the base, controlling himself with those two fingers. He raises his erection and knocked it against your clit, the strikes sent waves of pleasure from your core to the top of your head and palm of your feet, having you whimper out. 

Your aching hole needed him, it was taking him so long. Seriously you wish he’d kill you now because this so actually torture. The only thing you could do was start to cry, tears leaving their corners and running into your hair. You were more than frustrated. Angry, horny, needy, powerless, you wanted it so bad you were losing control, it didn’t matter, no one else could judge you, and who would be worse than Sukuna?

“You came in here, climb all over me, just to cry now? You’re so pathetic.” 

“Please,” You whine. “I want you to put it in.”

His face changed, from laughing at you beg, to sharpening his focus. Even after all this, getting caught, threatened, insulted, you’ve started to beg for it. He takes his legs up from pinning yours, putting them to your sides as he aligns himself to your front hole. “Say it again.”

“Please Sukuna, put it in-“ He lowers his hips and dives deep into you. He watches as your head writhes. Instantly youre spread apart, the sudden plunge casted a warm blush across your face and electricity towards the tips of your fingers. “Oooh,” 

“Fuuuuuck.” He finished for you. He continues to grind deeply into you, quickly using his now free hand to gag you from waking everyone up. Good thing too as you were messy, fucked silly couldn’t cover it. You gave up control a long time ago. He wouldn’t kill you, not right now anyway, you especially wouldn’t let him without trying to get one last nut. It was diabolical how down bad he had you. It was more of your unhealed trauma and he just happened to be the best person to help you out, willing or not.

——————————————————————————

You lay there as the base of your back ached. Every part of your body was bruised again, you could only imagine to move again as you tried catching your breath. You had lost count on just how many times he’s forced an orgasm out of you, mind numbingly rich euphoria every time. Nothing else mattered, you were more than thrilled the first 2 times but started to wonder if he ever got tired. 

It wasn’t until after your fifth orgasm that he managed to get his first one in. You were honestly almost regretting climbing into his room but his second had him pinning you on your back as he lay on your lower torso and legs. You couldn’t feel anything but your pulsating cervix, half feeling good from the pain and lingering pleasure, the other half making you know that this was a mistake and the nausea was on you. 

Raising your free arm, you weakly start to pat his head. It was over, you insatiable perverted needs were fulfilled, so what were you going to do now? It’s not like you’re in love with the guy, you don’t even know if you’ll get to wake up tomorrow with this stunt. “It was worth it.” You thought. Running your fingers thorough his hair, and tracing his back, you fall asleep holding him, accepting that this is it.

[pauking5]

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ Updates, spoilers and more ☽｡⋆

hello world! it's been a while...

i know you may be sick of my little updates, trickled in from time to time, but i felt the need to give you a bigger update, kind of like a catch-up since i've become a little bit of a stranger around here. the last thing i put out on here was wayyyyy back in december, so here are my humble apologies for that. there's been so much in the works since then, writing wise, real life wise, among career epiphanies, and what not. soooo, in true me fashion, i feel the need to be a loose mouth about it all to you, my dear lovelies who have stood by my side even in the darkest of times, lighting my way with your presence and kind words. you have no idea how you lit up my world by simply saying a quick hello.

there is loads i've been asked about, that i may or may not have touched on in the amazing sweet asks i've been getting - surprisingly popping up every time i opened a draft to work on something - be it about current ongoing works, special projects or requests that are still pending on my list (fret not), all of them waiting patiently for their turn to be completed. i won't reveal everything right now, but there is a good chunk of stuff in this mini letter that should keep you sated until things actually start leaving my drafts pretty soon. plus, i'm thinking of making these letters a thing from time to time, just so you don't miss me too much when i'm down in the writing cave for too long.

this mini ginormous packed up newsletter is your unofficial teaser to everything i have in the works at the moment and whereabouts i am sitting on it all right now. from chapters you've been waiting for, to some surprises i've been holding off on sharing. and if you're curious enough and read the whole thing, there's some stuff that's been happening in my life lately right at the end.

all i ask is that you keep these to yourself. you're welcome to take inspiration out of my work, but please give credit. please don't reproduce my work anywhere else, because i put a lot of my life, my time and energy into my work. i encourage you to build your own worlds and stories, but not at the cost of the theft of someone else's work, sweat and tears.

so, now you're welcome to just sit back, relax, have a drink close by or a snack, and enjoy this newsletter of every single little thing coming your way very soon.

all my love to you.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Addicting Taste .𖥔 ݁ ˖

Chapter 12 - Monsters & Chapter 13 - The Reckoning

: ̗̀➛ These two are the sister chapters to the rest of what's happening down in the pit and outside of it. Down in the pit, Miyu starts her descent into the den of vipers for her first fight. She's fighting inner demons and dark temptations all throughout, and a twist in the game makes her weigh all the possibilities in her hand, trying to decide whether she should keep the light of hope alive and wait for salvation, or take the dark way out of it. She sees the struggles of these girls, she hurts for them, she fights for them, even when her own pain is so colossal and on the brink of breaking through every barrier she's ever put up to keep the darkness at bay. But let me tell you, I was so excited for that darkness to finally break through, because I wanted to write Barairo for so long. You felt her calling. You felt her crawling. And now she's finally awakening. That little demon has been calling to me too, silently pleading for a little attention, and I just had to give it to her. But I will zip it about this now.

: ̗̀➛ In Enishi's eyes, the world is a dark, desolate, cold place in these chapters. He's dealing with losing yet another beacon of hope to the darkness of the world, which has also become a part of his routine, his plans, his mayhem, and a part of himself; he's facing the repercussions of the blind trust he's given to a brother in arms that's been at his side for years, he's trying to find answers to the swarm of questions rising with Miyu's disappearance, he's trying to piece together what the Triads are planning, all whilst moving through one of the worst storms he's ever encountered in his life.

Chapter 12 was delayed for so long because I wanted to dive in deeper and draw on every single emotion our dear mophead was feeling. The ache for the light that made his life find meaning and purpose again and it disappearing all too soon, how it affects him, how it drives him to do irreversible things. Endless days and nights I spent sitting with him, his pain, his contradicting feelings, his innate coldness, his morals, his rules, everything that makes up him.

It was frustrating, lord it really was. But I couldn't just leave it like it was when I knew that there was something there, way beneath the surface of how I've been writing him, that I needed to bring out. Something laying dormant at the core of his psyche, waiting to be unleashed. Weeks turned into months and I kept going at his scenes over and over again, just analyzing, unpacking his character makeup, rewriting, polishing, scraping off, rewriting again, and when I least expected it, something really magical happened and what I was looking for finally came to me. The heart wrenching feeling of being lost, the grief that's been shoved down too deep, too rough, too much, the questions that had no apparent answers, it all caught new sense, new life.

The way he copes with this storm, braves it, and moves forward is so cathartic, and something that's helped me move past my own storm, one that's been holding me captive for months.

What happens in this chapter and the next ones is just pure magic to me. Both of them are changing and evolving, and the only reason I had to give this story more time was because I wanted to give it justice for how big and important it became to me.

: ̗̀➛ These chapters also explore how deep the Snake's involvement with the Triads goes, who is actually behind the girls getting taken, and the appearance of a new opponent that may or may not ruin any chance at peace for Miyu and Enishi for a long time coming. There's secret organizations making moves, many new bonds of trust forged, some broken beyond repair, others looking for forgiveness, and a new sense of belonging and unity and strength unlike anything those two have ever felt. There's so much young love pouring in from so many sides and I know you'll love the softness once we're past the heavy downpour of angst.

: ̗̀➛ I finally gave myself creative freedom to step out of the box of how fanfiction is usually written, to capture the essence of this story in greater depth. I'm talking bigger plot, higher stakes, and better writing that doesn't sound like stage directions. Writing that let me breathe life into this story. Writing that let me feel this world and pour more into it's soul.

: ̗̀➛ One thing I loved whilst working on these two chapters was how deep I delved into the fascinating rabbit holes of history. I pulled on my plot thread, built a mental board of what has happened so far and what's coming next, and started weaving in the finer details - real locations, myths, ancient stories of the samurai, real Japanese history and culture - everything that makes this story catch body and soul in my visual brain. I've learnt so much about things, read books on clans, articles on wild things kept somewhat of a secret from wider knowledge, and researched my socks off about every little detail that makes it all the more special to me.

: ̗̀➛ I am working on both of these chapters simultaneously, which is another reason why it's all been taking so damn long. The first part of Chapter 12 is at about 50% written and edited, the rest is literally just in my notes waiting to be organized for the second half. She is my current priority to finalise. Chapter 13 is the more rowdy sister that's been firing scenes and ideas at me on and on, so expect it to follow not too long after Chapter 12 is published, God willing. Another thing is that they are both long. Chapter 12 itself, as it sits now at around 40k + does not appear that long, but it is monumentally long. Don't you worry, it will not be cut down. I know you guys like the long chapters so it's all for you to enjoy. I am trying my best to finish it, because the first half of it was the longest and most challenging part of it to write, and I am slowly diving into the second half, but hopefully you'll get it very soon.

: ̗̀➛ Everything else coming from AT is relatively shorter (still in the 25-30k baseline, don't worry), full of love, heartache, betrayal, and so much spice it's been driving me mad reading it all alone. I hope you're still excited for this story. I know it's gone so many directions since it started, but I'm here for the long ride and I plan on giving it my all. I've grown with this story and the characters, and it's too close to my heart to go forgotten.

: ̗̀➛ This is also where I tell you Addicting Taste will be longer than 20 chapters :) Happy renewal lol.

・❥・Spoiler Line ・❥・

Chapter 12 - Monsters: heavy angst, betrayal, a little death, and apocalyptic levels of yearning.

Favorite scenes: The intro, Scene 3 - The Drawing.

Favorite songs in the playlist: Castle - Halsey, Animal - PVRIS, Ruelle - Find You, Storm - Lifehouse, Atlantic - Sleep Token, Paint It Black - Ciara, Hurricane - Thirty Seconds To Mars.

Chapter 13 - The Reckoning: alliances, chaos, mayhem, and a touch of deadly violence.

Favorite scene: The Awakening Scene

Favorite songs in the playlist: Afterlife - Evanescence, Heavy Is The Crown - Daughtry, Somebody to die for - Hurts.

Chapters 14, 15, 16: recovery, secrets, stormy waters, newfound family, pure rage, love letters and declarations.

Favorite scenes: drunken confessions, the blue rose, the bonfire, the hill.

Favorite songs in the playlists: Gimme A Minute - PVRIS, killer - FKA twigs, Unsteady - X Ambassadors, Holding On and Letting Go - Ross Copperman, Brave Shine - Aimer, Surrender - Natalie Taylor, Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ

❀࿐ Runaway ❀࿐

Chapter 6 - Seaside Venture & Chapters 7 + 8 - The Tokyo Match & More

Runaway has been a constant work in progress in my calendar ever since I started working on it late 2023. There's a lot that's still to come, and some stuff I might have touched on already in previous updates, but take this one as a comprehensive look ahead. Though even these little snippets don't comprise the weight of what's really in the cards, I thought it would be nice to give you a summary of what's going on, in case you forgot, and a little heads up about what's coming.

Once again, my deepest apologies for leaving you stranded on the beach back in October. Though I'm sure you didn't mind that 🤭

❀ Chapter 6 - Seaside Venture

You know where we left off in October, and I can tell you you're not ready for the coming ride. It's packed with action on and off track, sizzling chemistry and new challenges that can make or break things in the long run. But most importantly, it is hot, steamy and full of dirt (no pun intended).

: ̗̀➛ We've left off in beautiful Shirahama, where Naozumi and Raiko ran away to escape the pressures of racing life and the weight of promotional punishments. They're taking a day off their busy schedules to do some sightseeing for the rest of their trip. Since Naozumi's phone is normally turned off in vacay mode, and he took Raiko's phone away too, they have no way of contacting anyone outside this little town. They're stuck together on the island of tension building between them, and while one of them finds the situation absolutely irritating, the other revels in the warm rays of sunshine and makes use of the time to dig for some information. This whole escapade turns into a truth contest with how much gets revealed by both, and it kind of cements where their relationship lies. For now.

: ̗̀➛ Despite being against this trip at the beginning of the road, Raiko tries to enjoy the sights and let loose for a while. What she doesn't expect is how surprisingly fast some of her curiosities are getting satisfied one by one, receiving answers to questions she's had about her trip companion before she even asks them. But she's not the only one unveiling layers. Naozumi is also seeing a different Raiko that he's never expected to discover under all that competition pressure, one that's more free and less responsible with no distractions around, that he happens to find a lot in common with. They're talking, walking around town, doing a little bonding, and sharing a meal together that brings up a lot of new cards on the table. Cards of suspicion, questionable unspoken trust, and a sense of homeliness and magnetism that's new and strange to both of them, but continues to pull them in regardless.

: ̗̀➛ This one is spread in two parts - the seaside venture and the consequences of the real world - all in one. It covers what happens not just in Shirahama, but back on the road, and as they arrive back home in Tokyo. Will they still be rivals after this trip or will things drift more lightly between them from now on? Who knows. What I do know is that there is chemistry, banter, and little moments of serenity and calm because there's a thunderstorm that lifts grey clouds up in the sky after this trip. Clouds that are not just there yet, hanging low on the deep blue horizon. But they are coming and they bring wreckage with them.

: ̗̀➛ Though this is a dual pov chapter, it leans a bit more towards Naozumi's perception of Raiko and things he unknowingly stumbles upon that kind of alter his first impression of her. He finds out more about her family, what fuels her drive to race and the need to make her father proud, and what she's really like when she feels comfortable in her element. We also get a bit of his backstory here, and why Shirahama is such an important place for him. I fell in love with his character even more while writing this chapter so expect to see it in the writing *wink wink*.

: ̗̀➛ This one sits at about 65% written. I am writing and editing when I'm working on it to speed up the process, but seeing some action movies and the Fast saga on tv recently has definitely got me back in the excitement for it. If you couldn't tell by the many hints already, one of the many inspirations for this story was this movie saga because I grew up with it. The very first movie I remember ever seeing when young has to have been 2 Fast 2 Furious, and Suki has been one of the influences going into Raiko's character. Any other inspirations on this project came from my passion for everything car related, from growing up surrounded by mechanics and drivers, all passionate about a motorsport or two, to watching Formula 1 in my free time. Runaway also has this feel of a late 2000s/ early 2010s story, not just from the playlists, but from how everything concerning visuals is wired in my head to the wild scenery and characters walking the earth back then, how scandalous racing actually used to be, and the whole aesthetic of it in terms of fashion, car mods and the pretty lavish, exclusive and high adrenaline lifestyle of a driver. The DJ part is all a dream I've always had growing up that I might never see through in this life, and it felt right to add it to Raiko's character, since racing and music go hand in hand for her.

: ̗̀➛ Little birdies told me that I'm not the only one watching Overdrive and expecting Raiko to pop up on screen out of nowhere, so let me just say this means the world to me to hear. So I'm putting it out with the gods up there that we need Mackenyu to put on those fireproofs one more time for an Overdrive reboot.

Expect Runaway to make a comeback right after Addicting Taste Chapter 12 is out of the way. I've been working on them at the same time and let me tell you, it is not fun to have two, incredibly amazing fictional men getting you hot and bothered at the same time, but it's fun times.

❀ Chapters 7 & 8 - The Tokyo Match

If you haven't caught up on the deal already, Runaway follows the rally schedule of the Seiko Cup in the movie. Homeground Tokyo is our next stop and it is nothing short of messy. There's pride at stake this time, besides the growing pressure of getting points for the Championship. There's promotional stuff to get through that fills both Naozumi and Raiko's schedules, an intense football match that I loved writing, and more tension ensuing. Also, with all the previous revelations and this match, Naozumi's plans seem to derail from their original purpose, just a notch.

There's new challenges and enemies both have to go up against, since mysterious things have been happening around the team garages that only flag up when disaster is already impending, lurking way too close to comfort. Let's just say the oil mishap back in Fuji and the loose screws were not a coincidence. More mayhem mid-race ensues, and Raiko has to carry the team to the flatline once again, though this time it takes a toll on her and her world spins out of control in the worst way possible. But someone unexpected shows up to catch her fall, and their bond strengthens even more.

These are still in the development phase, but I'm hoping to get to them very soon.

・❥・Spoiler Line ・❥・

❀ Chapter 6 - Seaside Venture

Favorite scenes: The photo wall, The Iron Man T-shirt, and Via Vedo.

Favorite song: Close to You - Gracie Abrams

❀ Chapters 7 & 8 - The Tokyo Match

Favorite scenes: The co-ed shower, the trustfall, the drive.

Favorite songs: Crash - BKAYE, Casey Cook, I'm Good (Blue) - Bebe Rexha, David Guetta.

❀ Chapters 9 & 10 - Malaysia Mayhem

Travel, competition, and tension tuned to the max. The Seiko Cup is rolling abroad for this round and just like any other race, it's bound to bring some stress with it. The land is rougher, the weather conditions are perilous, and there's even more at stake now. There's even more breakneck racing, a royal ball that sways feelings to the surface, and a raw build-up of rage and anger that culminates with a lustful night and some surprising compromises.

These two are also in the development phase.

Favorite scene: Chapter 10, The Elevator.

Though I know damn well I love everything about Chapter 10.

Favorite songs: Give Me Everything - Archer Marsh - Stripped Violin Version, Sweet Nothing - Calvin Harris, Florence Welch, Believe - Cher.

Every other chapter following these is already planned, the scenes literally just waiting for me in my notes. I want to go chronologically with this one, so I'm refraining from writing ahead even more so I can catch up on actual writing.

This is also your reminder that Runaway too, will exceed 20 chapters. Plus, this is not the only thing I have been working on. Which brings me to the next announcement 📣

RUNAWAY 2: GLOBAL HEART (working title)

Roughly around October last year, I told you I had plans of writing more for Runaway. While spending all of September nitpicking Chapter 5 - The Escapade, building a Pinterest board and the character playlists even more, I had all these ideas running to me at full speed: scenes, dialogues, songs, and the amazing storyline. Two weeks. That's all it took for Runaway 2 to be born. And let me tell you, it is an epic ride.

I have been writing on this one on and off, pulling up ideas about everything I wanted in it, and how it works as a continuation of current plot. Yes, I already know how and where Runaway 1 ends and it leads right into how this one begins. Prematurely, I can tell you this one will have about 20 chapters or more, depending on how work on it goes.

I am soon to be starting actual work on it so it's ready for you once Runaway 1 finishes, whenever that is. I say whenever that is because even if I make a release schedule, my writing doesn't respect it at all. But, I am trying to get Runaway 1 concluded by the end of next year - keyword: trying - so expect this one somewhere between July-September 2026 with god's speed. I'm making no promises on this one, since I want to spend more time on Runaway 1 in the coming months, but feel free to ask about it from time to time because she arrived at a time my belief in love was at its lowest and the lover girl in me wanted to desperately evaporate, so she's become another baby I care very deeply about.

Here's your first look at Runaway 2 - Global Heart.

✧.* About the story ✧.*

Set not just in homeground Japan, but all around the world, Runaway 2 follows Naozumi's journey in the global WRC scene, and the struggles of competing against some of the best drivers in the world, all whilst trying to stay close to his roots and maintain contact with Raiko.

Back home, Raiko is trying to keep it all together as her life kind of plummets in on itself post-Seiko Cup. She's juggling new jobs, her racing career, her tumultuous friendships, and questions what she truly wants from life, and whether Naozumi wants to be a part of it for the long run. Their relationship is rocky enough through Runaway 1, but in this one it will undergo so many bumps and potholes meant to break it apart. They will crash and burn too fast. They will have to fight against their egos when none of them are willing to back down and settle. They will have to learn to go slow, to meet each other's pace even if it results in crashing out before the finish line. They will have to fight against every person, doubt and uncertainty that tries to undo their relationship. But the soft moments where they just let it all go to meet in the middle of each other's thunderstorm, that is where their bond really starts to blossom.

Old foes from the past are coming back to wreak more havoc on their lives, and one person holds the keys to the machines of destruction and despair that constantly try to pull them apart. But when one thing leads to another and Raiko joins Naozumi on an European escapade for the summer break, they try to forget about all their problems, and the chaos waiting at the foot of their world, to focus just on each other and spend some quality time together, trying to rekindle what's laying beneath the rubbles created by distance.

The locations, the sights, the whole story is so beautiful and it truly played like a movie in my head while I laid it all out.

We still have plenty of car action in this one, A LOT of it, from illegal races across the continent to actual car chases, big international racing events in the dunes of the scorching desert, and fun drifting sessions in the snow at the foothills of the Alps.

Man, doesn't this all sound so damn good? If only you knew this barely covers it.

And because I'm here to be a loose mouth, you also have a spoiler of the actual synopsis right here.

Stakes are higher. Love is stronger. Family is everything. But is it all enough to keep the trust unbroken, the passion burning like an eternal flame, and the great danger lurking at bay?

Also, here's five locations, seven songs, and some pictures from the board. Hope this all has got you excited!

Locations: Barcelona, Spain. Portofino, Italy. Las Vegas, Nevada. Saudi Arabia. Mount Fuji, Japan.

Songs: What I did for love - Emeli Sande, David Guetta, Euphoria - Loreen, Dive - Ed Sheeran, Now You're Gone - Basshunter, DJ Mental Theos Bazzheads, Amazing - Inna, Still Falling For You - Ellie Goulding, Apologize - One Republic.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･

҉ 　Knights of the Zodiac - Wings of Steel ҉

I know I gave you a sneak peek of this one in one of the asks I received a few months ago, but for the sake of this list, here are more details.

We're here to spoil after all, aren't we?

First thing's first, I, for one, really enjoyed the movie. Yes, the storyline felt cut down and the plot felt like it was put on fast-forward, but it has a special place in my heart because that's where I first came across Mackenyu (though I have faint memories of seeing him around other projects). Even if I only discovered his tremendous ore of talent and dedication to his characters and their stories with Zoro and Enishi, Seiya does hold a piece of my heart in the palm of his hands.

So, here's what we've got on this one so far.

: ̗̀➛ It is pegasus knight x gryffin knight. This one will dive into the fantastical side of things and one of my favorite areas of history: Greek mythology. I am still looking over details, researching bits and bobs, but she's starting to catch form really nicely. We are falling away from the movie for a few chapters but it's to explore the wider world hidden beneath the loudness of the real world. I'm talking magical things - enchanted waterfalls and forests, mythical places and creatures, and good old faeries.

: ̗̀➛ Gray, our female oc in this one, is one of the most relatable characters I have ever written. I knew I would love her the minute her name came to me. She's the older sister type, really responsible, very down to earth. She leads like it's breathing. Her backstory is so full of distrust, running and hiding in the slums of the town after countless foster homes. One day, Alman happens to find her stealing something valuable, and instead of taking her to the authorities he took her in as one of his own, another daughter he's never had. Her relationship with Sienna was as close knit as ever in the beginning, until Guraad's greed broke this perfect family at the seams.

: ̗̀➛ When this perfect family breaks, and she's seen as nothing more than a guardian for her special aptitudes, Gray ups and runs away again, this time confident in her abilities to fend for herself. She's older, she's bolder and she makes a quiet life for herself in the same city Seiya fights to earn his bread, and though they never meet until it's time, they share the same cruel fate - to guard Sienna and protect her against harm. With Seiya's involvement, Gray is pulled from her normal life and thrust back into the circus of protection from which she desperately wants to get away from. But she ends up staying to help, even when the person she's guarding doesn't want her there within an inch of her sight.

: ̗̀➛ Gray and Seiya have so much in common, despite hating each other's guts at first. He's just another addition to the endless line of bodyguards who couldn't protect Sienna. Another pawn in Guraad's plans. A thorn in Gray's side most of the time. But they both know they have a common enemy and realize that joining forces is way better than fighting their own battles alone. The way they learn each other's patterns, how they train with Marin, how they go on the quest to retrieve Sienna back from Guraad's hands, all of it makes them come together, combining their powers to save what's left of their world. But chances make it so that they discover a whole other world that's been hidden from them, one that rpomises a greater adventure than they ever imagined.

Progress-wise, it's in the final stages of its development phase, though I have most of the story fleshed out and planned. The first part of this story is giving me some trouble at the moment, but I feel it whispering to me every now and then. I am aiming to get this one to you this year, hopefully starting September, but we shall see how it develops over the coming months and where I'm sitting with it considering how everything else goes.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆

℘ On My Blade's Honour - A One Piece Live Action fiction ℘

You know who this one is about, and you also know it's been a long time coming. This green-headed swordsman has a long-awaited pending list of works, some in the drafts already, some in the notes, some still in the ideas phase. But out of all of them, this is one that I can finally share some stuff about.

First off, I think we've all had our fair share of abusing the living daylights out of the opla zoro x reader tag (I plead guilty). When I first started writing back in 2023, freshly after the live action came out, I did not even want to touch this tag. I knew I wanted to write Zoro at some point, both anime and his opla counterpart, but the most that came out were Under the Mistletoe, New Year New Me and my heart calls your name. Though I loved writing those little drabbles, I knew there was a bigger story waiting for my very own special twist on Zoro's character, and she started slowly nagging at me around the end of November 2023.

Months went by, the folder in my notes was not moving at all, and I was really much more focusing my attention towards Addicting Taste and Runaway. I was constantly searching for a female oc that was not something already written out there. I was trying to pinpoint how my Zoro looked like, how he felt like, what was new about him to me in the writing sense, but I was so scared of even opening a small little drabble on this dude that I didn't even want to begin anything remotely big that I didn't have the strength to carry at the time. So unfortunately, I had to let it catch dust in my notes for a long time.

Fast-forward a few months into 2024, right after New Year New Me came around, I took another look at the live action. Nothing moved again per se, but something stirred within me because I started seeing our dear mosshead in my dreams every so often. I usually take that as a sign that something's waiting for me. Then I started rewatching movies I've grown up with, reading of stories I've heard, listening to more cinematic music. Anything that helped unpack this whisper I kept hearing in my dreams. And then it finally hit me - the storyline, the characters, the relationships and dynamics between them all.

At first, I didn't know what parts of this story I could actually share to you, but I thought it would be fun to hear more about the kind of genres the story touches, our main heroine and the plot, for now.

So, without further ado, here's your first look at On My Blade's Honour.

Genre: enemies to lovers, loyalty, betrayal.

Working Synopsis: They say opposites attract, but so do similarities. You, the daughter of one of the most feared pirates around the world, working as a bounty hunter for the marines. Him, a bounty hunter with a purpose higher than most dared to follow. What happens when Zoro meets his worst nightmare yet, and you meet one of the most difficult, exasperating, trifling beings on the planet? Are you an obstacle he needs to push away from his path, or a piece that he was missing all along?

She's a work in progress this one, but what I already have in store for it is pretty damn amazing.

And that's not all you're getting. Right below, you've got the character profile of our fantastic female oc, a bit about her backstory, her personality, and her dynamics with some of the Straw Hats on the crew. Enjoy!

✦ Character Profile ✦

Name: Esperanza-Helena

Alias: Esper. Kunai Assassin. Viper.

Parents: Esmeralda Lucia, mother. Father only known by who must.

Weapons: Kunai knives bound together by a long chain. Can wield anything with a sharp blade, from daggers, to tanto knives and katanas.

Esperanza, also goes by Esper, is our female oc in this one. She's the daughter of an important figure in the One Piece world, only mentioned on a need to know basis. Raised mostly by her mother, she's been on the run after her old life was scorched to ashes by bandits when she was just a child. She becomes a bounty hunter for the government, set on bringing all filthy pirates to justice. Even if it's lousy pay, it fills her days and earns her a pillow to sleep on. But it's only once she meets Luffy again that her world starts turning around. Having been friends since their younger days, he's amazed that chance made it so they meet once more, and this time he doesn't want to let her go, so he makes her a proposition she can't quite refuse. Though she would be quick to accept, there is one problem that makes her deny his proposal - the sulking green-haired man already occupying the position of first mate in Luffy's crew, and the distrust that smeared their first encounter in blotches of betrayal.

: ̗̀➛ Esper's character is a wild ride to write so far. She's fearless, brave, strong, and she has gotten through every single obstacle ever thrown her way with a smile on her face. She is a little bit Latina at her core, inspired by some amazing women and fictional characters that I've always adored, such as Shakira, Monica Bellucci, Catherine Zeta Jones as Elena Montero in the Mask of Zorro, and so many more. This felt just right once I realized that she has this raging, burning fire running through her veins. She's a whole force of nature in her own right. She loves a challenge and she doesn't back down from it even after she meets someone of her own caliber, capable of pushing all her buttons with one single cocky smirk, which only makes her thirst for winning against him become even stronger.

: ̗̀➛ The way her character develops, slowly, but with bite and the femme fatale element, is a whole amazing process on its own. At first, I didn't really hear her voice through what I was writing for the story, so it felt a little bleak. But she's moving through my mind like a whisper and I find myself caught in her powerful energy every now and then. She's got this magnetic pull to her, something I haven't encountered with other characters I've written. Her name is also symbolic of that, because while Esperanza means hope, Esper refers to the whisper of a spirit of the psychic realm. Besides her talents in weaponry and exquisite swordsmanship, she has a few more aces up her sleeve that make her all the more special, but I won't reveal these just yet. I'll let you read about them when the time comes.

: ̗̀➛ Her dynamic with Zoro is something so cosmic to me. Their relationship starts off on the very wrong foot of distrust and betrayal, something that bothers Zoro cataclysmically, rubbing him in all the wrong ways. She's got all the black dots checked and circled in his enemy notebook. Her existence makes him tick. Her lack of scruples makes him pivot neurons into the sea. Her whole presence awakens this fire in him that he cannot extinguish, and it only burns hotter and more dangerous when they have to work together and share the same space, being part of the same crew. He has this insurmountable amount of hate for her, always present in the rasp of his voice or in the glacial depth of a glare aimed her way. But it's a good thing, because the feeling happens to be very mutual. Although, unlike him, even as he blames her for everything going wrong, she does make fun of the situation every chance she gets. From Esper's viewpoint, Zoro is a paradox of a man. A real piece of work, that is so attuned to his own world that anyone else's is merely a temporary occurrence meant to stand in his way. Lord, do they bicker a lot. It continues this way up until a point where Esper and Zoro start seeing other sides to each other. Sides that are so similar - how they always keep their guard up around people, why they never put their trust in anyone, why they don't let themselves care too deeply. But even the strongest of armors start to crack once they're hit too hard. The way they start showing up for each other as the story drifts along is unbelievably honest and it goes beyond any honor, valor or show of respect.

: ̗̀➛ Another bond I'm really excited to write is the friendship between Esper and Luffy. These two met at a time in their life where the world made them feel like they only belonged on the outside, hanging on the edges of normality. When you look at a very rebellious girl who sees the world in black and white and a boy who carries sunshine in his smile, you wouldn't think of them as the bestest of friends. But their friendship is something of a treasure. And though Luffy already picked his first mate, Esper will forever be his first ever mate. If there's anyone she's ever trusted more in her life, it's him and his drive to do things his own way. She has so much adoration for Luffy and the light in his smile is what fuels her hope that maybe her dark life can catch a flicker of sunshine too.

: ̗̀➛ This story follows the crew as we go along the live action timeline, with some additional stops that I felt would add to my take on it. There's bonus scenes, and chapters, all meant to build on the beauty of what's already there. I won't say more until it's time for it to set sail, but I can tell you it will be pretty soon.

Prematurely, I can tell you that this one also has a sequel in the works, called The Legend of Esper. It follows the events post-Arlong Park, and focuses more on Esper's side of the story. Her relationship with Zoro is looking up, but her past is quickly catching up with her, coming to dismantle everything they rebuilt after the disloyalty in the first part of the story.

・❥・Spoiler Line ・❥・

Favorite arcs: Kaya's mansion, Baratie, Arlong Park

Favorite bonus: Rain Oath

Favorite songs: Objection (Tango) - Shakira, Gasoline - Halsey, The Hymn - FLOYA, Never Let Me Go - Florence + The Machine, Slow Grenade - Ellie Goulding, Lauv.

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⚜ Crimson Desire ⚜

Seeing how much you guys loved this two-part vampiric story and the fantasy world I created for it made me burst at the seams. It's a whole new level of storytelling when I work on it, and I think you can tell even Enishi as a character feels a little different in this one. I think I may have made it my job to explore as many layers of this man as possible and this is just one of the many slices of him that I loved diving into.

Working on this one is close to pure joy, considering my affinity to everything gothic and princessy. It draws from where I grew up, the stories about prince charming, the myths about vampires, the wild nature scenery. It's been a little development corner for my world-building and exploring different types of writing that fall more into the fantasy side, but I adore every second of it.

Once again, I didn't expect this one to grow into more parts, but it has taken me by surprise the way the story continued and developed by itself.

There are five parts in total, two already out for you to read if you haven't done so already. The next three parts are in the works too and I can say they'll come rushing in with the gothic season, which is not that far off now. Down below, you've got the titles, a few details, and visuals to kind of give you more of scope of imagination.

✣ Part 3 - Swirl of Obsession ✣

Enishi and his princess are now bonded through the blood they've shared. He's given her a taste of what it's like to sin with him, to let the bond speak of her deepest, darkest desires, letting him sate them all. And now she's giving the bond access beyond her conscious mind, letting him see what she couldn't even feel rooted beneath the surface of her heart. Together, they're haunting the castle walls, christening their devotion in every room, laying themselves bare before each other. But one of them isn't as bare as he lets on. A haunting confession of a maid rises doubts and when she finds courage and confronts him, the lord of darkness reveals something that makes things take a turn for the macabre.

Favorite scene: The dinner table, the chase.

Favorite songs from the playlist: Midas - Skott, I Fell In Love With The Devil - Avril Lavigne, Judas - BANKS.

✣ Part 4 - War of Hearts ✣

Following the revelations of the dark prince, she takes refuge with the village convent. The head priestess offers comfort and more information regarding the lord of the land, and how his past was seen as a curse through generations of her family as they served the church. She is quick to refute any foul opinions of her prince, the bond still pulsing strong in her veins. But while her heart is drowning in confusion, her mind sees crystal clear, and it leads her to proclaim to do what no one else in her land ever could - hunting down the lord of darkness, vowing before God to bring him down once and for all.

Favorite scene: the surrender.

Favorite song from the playlist: I Was Made For Lovin' You - YUNGBLUD.

✣ Part 5 ... will remain a secret for now. Can't spoil everything now, can I?

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⋆˙⟡ Teasers for projects, requests and little drabbles ⋆˙⟡

Now, you know about where our main ongoing series are heading, and read a bit about the other series in the works, but there is so much more I've been holding off from sharing, crafting like a little gremlin whenever inspiration hit me. Here's a list of other smaller projects on the line, a bit of story inspiration and summary, as well as a rough completion status for each one of them.

✦ One in a Million - OPLA Zoro ✦

This one is the long-awaited third part to the New Year New Me saga. The whole thing was born out of two stories: how my parents got together and a situationship I just couldn't get rid off, always popping up around the seasonal holidays.

At first, I didn't think there would be more beyond the first part. It was a quick-write at the beginning, but the more I went in to edit stuff, it became even more and I started to entertain the idea of this little romcom scenario. I loved the reader's personality and how quick she was to avoid zero-chemistry relationships that just left her empty, and I absolutely adored how playful Zoro seemed throughout. It felt like I fell in love with his character all over again, this time from a new point of view. He felt gentle, sweet, just as head over heels for his girl as she was for him from the very first time they met. And as my situationship persisted from winter into spring into summer, this story started pulling at me even more.

Part two had so many titles strewn into the first line besides its official one, and one in a million was one of them. Considering it was the sequel and a Valentines one this time, my heart calls your name felt like the right fit, and one in a million seemed to stay and lurk along for part three. I didn't get to write it last year but she's been pulling at me these past few months, so you are getting your fill of a breezy summer romcom!!!

In this summery chapter, our lovelorn reader and her boo have moved in together and though it's been months, it's been nothing but arrows of love and lust. But things get a twist when she starts questioning more about her green-haired suitor, especially when it comes to his feelings. He can't keep his hands off her, but he never lets his heart open enough to show vulnerability. Can this perfect picture last if Zoro doesn't do what it takes to keep her in his life, or will he lose the special one his heart yearns for?

Status: development stage, with writing done here and there. Hoping to start working more seriously on it these days.

Songs from the playlist: One in a Million - Bosson, I Need Your Love - Shaggy, Mohombi, Faydee, Only Love Can Hurt Like This - Paloma Faith.

✦ Tanabata, a starry night - anime Zoro ✦

This one is for my fellow yearners still looking for their fated one in the beauty of falling petals, the sweet perfume lingering in the summer breeze, and myths of great stories of love that still give you hope there's something special waiting for you out there. Know that what's yours is set aside only for you.

: ̗̀➛ Fated meet cute with anime Zoro and lovelorn reader. It follows the story of Tanabata, also called the Star festival, a yearly event where lovers gather to celebrate the love uniting their destinies on a fateful night in July celebrating the meeting of two ancient deities, Orihime and Hikoboshi, also known as Altair and Vega, or the star-crossed lovers. Those already in relationships make wishes for long, happy lives together with their loved one. Those still looking make wishes on the stars to meet their fated one under the warm summer sky.

Reader has not been quite as lucky with romance, always meeting obstacles or more hurdles to be jumped. She's written her wishes to the gods, prepared all the offerings at their temples, prayed and prayed endlessly, but it was all to no avail. No partner rose to see her. No lover rose to lay his love at her feet unconditionally. Because the fates had something different in store for her: a chance meeting that will alter her view on what love is forever.

This one was supposed to be out several times along the year already, but with everything else already in the works it just never felt like the right time. Although, I have a feeling the stars are finally aligning for it.

Status: half-written.

✦ Overboard - Enishi request ✦

There was some Enishi spice requested not too long ago. She is under work too and hopefully to be finished soon. I keep my word even if it takes ages.

Status: half-written.

✦ Knife Dance - Enishi ✦

Enishi x female reader assassin, cat and mouse chase. Sharp blades, dangerous smiles, and burning lust can eclipse any main objective. When it comes to her missions, she isn't one to give up, but this one happens to give her more than she was prepared for.

Status: development stage.

✰✰✰ There are more things in the works, but you'll hear about them a bit later on. ✰✰✰

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♠ Special Project ♣

If you thought that was it, you don't know who you're up against. I couldn't sleep knowing how big of a secret this one is, and against many back and forth battles with myself, I decided to give you a bit of this one too.

Aside from everything you just read about, there are a few special projects I've been working on in hindsight. One of them in particular has me really excited because it's unlike anything I've ever written and it fell right into my lap as I was coming out of a big writing slump that's left me without inspiration.

It's mature, it's sexy, and it's going to get you hot and bothered with every single chapter. Boy, just thinking about it has my heart pounding in excitement. I can only hope it will do the same to yours.

So, please welcome to the stage...

♦️♠ Rule Breaker ♠♥️

This is a story about the dream of a little girl, that fell to ruins before her hand could even reach for it. A story about the filthy way the rich and the almighty at the helm of Tokyo's high society circus wield their wealth for fame, influence and power, and how they would stop at nothing to get what they want, even if that included corrupting young innocent souls for their gain. It's a story about the most primal, darkest desires of mankind, and how they are bound to sit still, hidden, until something close to a sinful act makes them rise to the surface in temptation. But above everything, this is also a story about rules, and just how badly they yearn to be broken.

This one is indescribable in words. It wasn't even born that long ago, but it has me by the throat in every single way possible.

And this is just a little teaser.

I won't reveal who the protagonists are just yet. Actually, this whole project will be a surprise, so you won't know much about it until I post the first chapter, just to keep you on your toes.

But I'm not an evil person, so here are three themes that will be explored in the story, some images from the smoking hot Pinterest board, and three songs from the especially curated playlist that will be made available with the release.

・❥・Spoiler Line ・❥・

Themes: dominants x submissive bound by contract, high society, contemporary dance.

Songs: Earned It - The Weeknd, Beggin - Madcon, Please - ORGAVSM.

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✧.* Real life updates ⋆˙

Well, well, well. You have reached the final part of this long ass update newsletter. Kudos to you, soldier.

You haven't seen me posting much around here est last December, and there's a lot that's happened in my life since then.

News-wise, life has been crazy. The first six months after I finished uni back in May were more or less pure hell, and I think you could tell from how sporadic my updates got. This is all in the writing, developing, career sector, all spinning in a whirpool like a washing machine setting that never ended. I finished my expanded Marketing and Journalism degree and knew I didn't want to pursue anything related to it in the slightest, less alone see another article or website in my life. Applying for work was another hell, so I kinda left it alone for a while and just tried to focus on writing and what I really wanted from life. September to December I was still very much creatively alive, but January came around and I entered this black hole of uncertainty that cast a shadow over everything I was working on. My future looked blank, my will was at its lowest, and my writing started losing its spark. The only thing I knew at that point was that I needed a goal, a purpose to follow for 2025. Something that would keep me working, something good, something that poured light into my life. I knew I was asking for magic to happen, even if I didn't know what it was at first. And that's how my first ever new year's resolution fell in my hands and gave me some hope - working on a novel.

Crazy, right? She's been only writing for close to a year, started reading more of what's trending. But she studied the ins and outs of writing all her life, even if she never really liked it. And that's what was to become her strength in the long run.

But until we reached the point of unlocking gifts and knowledge, and retrieving the lost inspiration from the crevices of the world, we have to go through the pits of hell and see if we have the strength to come back from it.

Despite all the hope that resolution gave me, it quickly dwindled. I prayed for an idea to come to me, for anything remotely creative. This was around the time I was struggling to carry on working on anything that used to bring me joy before, falling into such a slow rhythm it felt like my creativity was slipping away from me. I went at Addicting Taste on and on during that time like a maniac, day and night, just wishing it would start working with me. But every word that sat wrong on the page, every sentence that didn't sound like my characters, every plot idea that felt bleak just ended up in crash out after crash out after crash out. Runaway tugged at me and I managed to write some scenes, but that's all they felt like. Scenes. Everything was so dull, so lifeless, so devoid of any emotion. It felt like I lost the last thing I was good at, and if you're an artist that creates, you know it feels pretty close to a death of sorts. A death that haunts your normal life just as much as your creative one.

Nothing brought back my smile. I tried going back to uni projects that I never got to finish. I tried rereading my favorite books. I tried teas, baths, anything relaxing, but it just did not feel relaxing. The fact that time was ticking, passing by while I was wilting away unable to finish anything made me unable to function. My favorite characters were tugging at me for attention, but the most I could do was open a note and bullet point. I felt like I was failing them and myself.

What I didn't know at that time was that in order to be reborn creatively, you need to experience that creative death first. So I let myself feel it. I went through what I used to write and started re-editing. I went looking for scenes living in my head thinking they were written only to not find them anywhere. I wrote stuff that was so beautiful in idea but so awful on paper that it just made me sit and cry. I was trying so hard to get it right, to fit the box I have outgrown, to give the voices faith, that I didn't notice how far I've come in such a short time.

I think a lot of us do that to ourselves and it stops us from doing what we love, what we cherish, what gives us life, because of inconsequential things that put unnecessary pressure on you. Excuses building up, distractions taking your attention away, those damn voice you can't quiet. But you realise they have no real weight once you look from a different perspective. They can't hurt you. They exist because you're coming close to finding something you love that works for you, and now every fear wants to smother it whole before it gets a chance to sparkle.

Once the last leaf of my disbelief, discontent, and every bit of negativity I was feeling for my writing left, it all came rushing back to me.

Mid-February, the plot for my novel just fell right into my arms. Weeks later, I had the characters, the plot somewhat fleshed out, and the place. Now, I have three books planned in a modern gothic romantasy story that's close to my heart, my culture, and everything I love writing about. As I busied myself working on this project, letting it come to me on its own without rushing it, more ideas started coming to me and I finally opened those drafts back up with new eyes and got cracking.

What you've read above is all work that started last year and was fleshed out in these past few months, so I guess it's safe to say I'm coming back soonish. I'm still fighting those damn demons sometimes, but I'm not letting them win.

Career-wise news, talking with a few of you, family and friends, I finally found a pathway I never thought I'd follow. But the universe knows your calling, and when it shows up it's only right you listen and follow it. I've always been someone who loved learning, whether it was to gather more knowledge, to research the depths of history, or to explore the ins and outs of writing, whether that was music, languages, poetry or books. Writing has been something I've never seen as my thing, more comfortable analyzing and pondering it from the side. But once I started writing, nearly two years ago now, I realized writing was becoming such a big part of my life, especially in the past few months. So I asked myself, why not make a career out of this?

At first it sounded like a fable. Then the signs started showing up and I knew, even through the doubt and the fear, that I had to run it through and see what happens.

Nowadays... Your girl is in the middle of finishing work on launching her freelance Mentoring and Editing business ✨

I may or may not publicly open access to this on here, but if you feel like you may benefit from writing, mentoring or editing advice from someone like me, feel free to contact me to find out more. I offer mentoring services to get your drafts going, world building to get your story flowing, and editing if all you need is a nudge in the right direction structure-wise.

So peep a DM if you're interested and I'll send you right to my Instagram and website to check out more. If you have writer friends, that you know may benefit from this, send them my way! I'm still at the start of my journey, so I am in need of clients and the more the merrier :)

I am opening it to fic writers too because some of you have been crafting literal gold on here and I know you may or may not be working on your own little original stories. So don't be afraid to reach out and ask me more. You know my DMs are always open.

It's all so new and exciting, sometimes stressful. But if I can help with your work and get your potential seen by yourself, I'm here for it.

Health wise, I've had good days and bad days. My sight was bad before but it's apparently getting worse for my age? Whatevs. Won't let that stop me. But when I need the screen break I have to take it for a good while to fend off the migraines. If you're like me, please know that taking walks outside to connect with the amazing lush green grass in your backyard, and leaving your phone to go dead until morning sometimes really does help. Stop being so plugged online and let yourself live and breathe the world around us now because it is pretty epic to live on this spinning sphere called earth and we should appreciate it more. I can tell you that once you start doing that, the inspiration and creativity you were looking for will find you and bless you with miracles you never thought yourself capable of making.

So, now you know I've been working on quite a lot for the past year. They are all coming to you soon. As much as I hate that word, I can't speed up the process because that speeds up the ✨ magic ✨ . Some writers can do their work on the spot, but it takes me a greater deal of focus, time and patience to pour out what I want in these works, and ultimately what you deserve to read as my lovely reader. And even if not one soul ends up liking them, I want to know that I didn't do a halfhearted job and gave anything I worked on everything in my power to make it happen.

All I ask is for you to have a little more patience with me 🫠 Not that you didn't wait enough, but I feel guilty and it eats me up most times that I can't just give these to you on the spot.

I hope this mini newsletter cleared the waters a bit, or stirred them. I'll be making these a thing if you want, since there are projects I haven't mentioned in great detail on here yet, maybe just in passing. You'd be getting current status on what I'm working on, as well as ideas and backstories for them. I loved making the visuals for this one too, since there's so many things in my boards that never end up on the actual boards. And I spoiled you without telling you much which is another win for me and my loose mouth.

Thank you for reading all this. Thank you for reading my work and continuing to be here for me. Your presence makes my world spin around. It means the world to me to have met so many beautiful, talented and amazing souls on here.

I hope we'll meet again with fresh ideas and long chapters filled with new wonders for you to discover.

With so much love, Paula.

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[bookskeepers]

a little bit of love ◇ chapter four

content warnings: fights, badly written probably lol

word count: 2,007

a/n: sorry for disappearing. work got overwhelming. i've been dealing with graduate school preparations. but i am here!

taglist: @estra-xii, @ari-da

previous ◇ masterlist ◇ next

The first thing that stands out to you is the quiet.

It's silent. Eerily silent, despite the massive, pulsating blue portal in front of you. Jinchul stands to your side, gazing up at the cerulean hole in the world with vague disinterest. You, on the other hand, find that it has your attention in a chokehold, demanding that you look at it.

The immediate area is empty, you know that much. Standard procedure for a gate like this -- a C rank gate, according to the Hunter's Association -- involved evacuating the premises in case of unforeseen issues.

So this is what a gate looks like, you think. It's tall. The air smells of something burnt. If you try and focus, you swear you can feel the molecules around you thrumming with energy. In that moment, you decide that you don't want to see a gate with a higher rank than this one; experiencing this gate's power makes you want to crawl out of your skin. It's overstimulating.

"Don't worry," Jinchul says. The sound of his voice makes you jump with the way it breaks the silence so smoothly. "You're in safe hands. We have a party of four C-ranks, three B-ranks, an A-rank healer, you, and I. If something goes wrong, there's a backup route in place to ensure you're safe."

You glance at him. If you hadn't been working closely for the better part of a month, you would have missed the undercurrent of concern in his otherwise flat tone. As a result, the knowledge that he's looking out for you and doesn't seem deterred by your general inexperience warms your heart just a smidge.

He nods at the other members of the party before making gestures you can barely keep track of. The other members rush forward, and he waits until they're almost at the gate before he motions for you to follow. Unlike them, he walks at an unhurried pace, making it easier for you to keep up with the group.

"Is there a specific reason we're staying at the back?" you ask right before entering the gate, your words nearly lost in the loud hum that grows with every step you take in its direction.

His response is drowned out by the oppressive noise, and your ears begin to hurt as you finally cross the threshold. Jolts of electricity dance across your skin, but they're painless; the sensation passes almost immediately as you're transported to the gate's location.

Tall trees surround you and the party on every side, so tall that even craning your neck up doesn't reveal the tops of the trees. They stretch far above the average person, and their canopies are so interwoven that you'd be plunged into darkness if it weren't for the mages and casters. Three members are holding varying sized globes of fire that cast a dim light on everything in the area. There isn't a clear path forward, but one of the unoccupied individuals points out a small gap between the trees. You find yourself grateful that you're not claustrophobic.

In pairs of two, the party files through the gap. This leaves you paired up with Jinchul, and you're once again grateful because you don't think you'd've been able to handle the stress of being in such close contact with a stranger. Not that Jinchul is your friend, either; he currently lies in the undescribed realm between 'stranger' and 'acquaintance.'

The party remains silent as they trek, clearly looking for the inhabitants of this dungeon. The trees stretch on, creating a wall that blocks the group from sight. It'd be reassuring if it didn't mean it blocked any approaching enemies from sight too.

It's not long before you hear a faint growl, and the party's movement stills. Jinchul taps your shoulder to catch your attention, mouthing two words: Don't move.

The telltale pit-pat of something canine in nature comes soon after, accompanied by the sound of something large sniffing. The noises echo and multiply, and you can't tell if there's only one animal approaching or a whole army's worth. Your heart begins to hammer in your chest, anticipating the worst, when something bursts through a tree closest to you.

You let out a stifled shriek as a giant wolf nearly closes its jaws around your neck -- it would've succeeded had Jinchul not reacted in time. Before you can blink, the wolf is on the ground and the tree it burst through has toppled down several others, miraculously leaving you and your party unharmed.

"Hopefully wolves are the worst we're dealing with," Jinchul murmurs. You're not sure if the other party members heard him, but you hear the doubt in his voice. It causes an icy grip to fixate on your heart. Clearly, Jinchul thiks there's something worse lurking in the unknown.

Tentatively, the party begins to move again. The trees start to thin out, exposing a dark sky and rolling grasslands as far as the eye can see. Right in front of the party, however, is a massive, gaping cave that echoes with more growls and some howls.

One of the mages glances back at Jinchul. She's the one at the head of the party, but you guess she isn't the leader. After all, she's deferring to the man at your side. He nods at her, and she progresses into the cave's mouth, the rest of the people present following suit.

The lights the mages have in their hands feel like they become stronger; the closeness of the cavern walls cause the area to be far more lit. You spy twinkles amongst the dull brown rock, and Jinchul whispers to you: "Mana crystals embedded in the rock."

You glance over at him before continuing to try and observe the walls. "How are you so sure?"

"Dungeons rarely have any minerals beyond mana crystals," he replies.

You nod, tucking the tidbit of information somewhere in your brain. Beneath the echo of many footsteps in an enclosed space, the din of the wolves grows louder and louder. The icy grip around your heart tightens, and your subconscious registers it as fear.

Once again, without warning, several wolves descend upon the crew. They're taken down in a matter of seconds, too fast for you to even react. Adrenaline begins coursing through your veins, alleviating the coldness in your chest.

You weren't given a weapon or anything in preparation for the raid. The higher ups -- Jinchul, in other words -- had decided that your purpose would be to watch and observe instead of participate. Your mastery over your ability, while improved, still left much to be desired. Instead, the party had two goals: the first was to clear the C-rank gate, and the second was to ensure you were kept safe. Jinchul had opted to be your personal bodyguard instead of the raid leader, although it was clear from the interaction outside the cave that the actual party leader still deferred to him for decisions.

The group treks on, clearly on higher alert due to the attempted ambush. You note that the walls begin to peel away from the group, the once-narrow tunnel widening progressively. The noises grow considerably louder, and the group enters what must be the main chamber. There are tens, if not hundreds, of wolves gathered in the cavern. None of them seem to be the boss, though. The opposite side is no longer in sight, the flames not enough to illuminate it beyond the wolves' bodies.

Despite knowing that there's a disparity between monster rankings and hunter rankings, with the average C-rank hunter being far stronger than a C-rank monster, you're still impressed when the room is cleared in a matter of minutes with minimal mana spent. Since your awakening, you've been more attuned to that kind of thing: mana expenditure.

While the C-ranks in the party have begun to look a little weary, the B- and A-ranks still look fresh. The troupe spends another few minutes splitting into teams and exploring the edges of the room, trying to determine if there's more to the dungeon. You hear Jinchul mutter to a colleague about the potential of being misled when the area begins to shake.

Cracks appear in the floor, and Jinchul grabs you before the rock beneath your feet drops away into nothingness. You two and the colleague stumble away from the wall, heading for the center of the cavern. The other party members meet you there, although you notice with a sinking feeling in your stomach that two are missing.

A deep, guttural noise echoes from the new chasm surrounding the platform. A giant, furry clawed arm appears over the edge opposite from you, followed by a head that could be described as both wolfish and human-ish. Soon, the monster has pulled itself onto the platform, and it's bigger than even the tallest man you know -- the creature stands at over 2.10 metres easily, dwarfing the entire party.

It lets out a horrible roar before slashing at the nearest person. You notice that its claws are covered in fresh blood, making you wonder if those two missing individuals fell or died in a gruesome way. Jinchul has to pull you out of the way of the monster because you are so lost in your thoughts.

The battle rages on. It seems that, even with the combined forces of the C- and B-ranks, they're having little effect on the monster. You'd heard of things like this happening before -- mislabelled gates where the boss was stronger than expected. You also knew it was rare, and you hoped that your gut feeling was wrong.

It soon becomes clear that Jinchul's expertise and prowess are needed to turn the tides, as all his focus has been on protecting you from harm. One of the B-ranks falls to a well-timed snap of the beast's jaws, and you can feel your dinner crawling up your throat. The sight makes you feel so ill you contemplate turning around to hurl, as stupid as it would be to turn your back on such a creature.

"Go help them!" you shout at Jinchul over the clanging steel and snarling.

He glances back at you before nodding, rushing into the fray with a sword held high. Already, he's making quick work of the creature, making you think the boss couldn't be higher than a B-rank. You stand near the edge of the platform, watching with bated breath as Jinchul swipes and stabs at the beast while deftly avoiding its attacks. This gives the team's healer a chance to recover the wounded.

You're so enrapt in watching the fight that you don't notice the wolf climbing up the platform behind you. It's only when the growl sounds close to your ear that you whip around, that iciness in your chest returning with full force. You stumble backwards, away from the white four-legged canine, falling backwards onto your hands. Focus, focus, focus.

You hold out one hand, praying that the magic would flow with ease after all your training, but it doesn't. You continue to scrabble away, managing to get onto your feet before skirting the perimeter of the platform to stay out of the main fighters' way. You think you spot Jinchul glancing over out of the corner of your eye, and you watch, in horror, as the action costs him -- the boss takes a mighty sweep at him and succeeds in knocking him off his feet.

Before the boss has a chance to make the final blow, though, you stretch one hand out in its direction -- with your other hand outstretched in the wolf's direction -- and push against whatever barrier is preventing you from calling upon your ability. Two condensed slashes of air emanate from your palms, slicing the boss and wolf neatly in two just in time. The wolf was close enough for its blood to splatter on your clothes, and once again your dinner threatens to come back up.

Another few minutes pass as everyone processes what just happened: you saved Woo Jinchul's life.

[silverynight]

The heart of the barbarian King

<---Previous

Chapter 6

Walking into the city is an amazing distraction; there's a lot to see, and the place is already buzzing with life. Everyone seems to be ready for all kinds of activities.

The people seem to be very welcoming too; they all notice the barbarian groups, but they don't stop any of them from walking in.

As Ashido had told them, they continue exploring the place in two groups, and each one goes separate ways, but they vow to reunite at night.

"This is a trade city," Jiro explains, as if she's currently reading Izuku's mind. "That's why it's not that strict with security. Usually, not many people are interested in attacking it because it's not the core of the Todoroki's kingdom. It'd be a waste of time to try to take this one. Besides, almost everyone benefits from it; there's a lot of things that can be found here."

Izuku nods, already thinking of adding that piece of information to his journal when he gets back ho–when he gets back to Katsuki's house.

That city market is completely different from the barbarian's. They sell all kinds of stuff in there, and some of them come from different parts of the world.

Izuku is absolutely fascinated.

The omega watches as Kirishima buys a few cute necklaces for Kaminari. The beta blushes but smiles before giving his alpha a kiss on the cheek.

They're absolutely adorable. Izuku wishes he had something like that in his life. But maybe love like that it's not meant for him.

He should just focus on breaking the curse.

Suddenly, as he's inspecting a talisman that a woman claims it's against all types of dark magic, Ashido puts a hand on his shoulder and pulls him closer to herself.

The omega can smell her scent turning into something very protective out of the sudden.

"What is it?" He asks.

"That guy has been looking at you for a while now. I think he's been following us."

Izuku tries not to think about Chisaki's men; the thought of him trying to get revenge has occurred to him a couple of times.

He turns around, but he just finds an unfamiliar face. The man is tall and strong, but young; he stands like someone who's been trained in sword fight all his life, but he's wearing common folk clothes.

He's a fascinating contradiction; his clothes are new, but cheap, like he just got them, he doesn't walk like other people do, not the ones around him at least.

His hair is dark, as well as his eyes, but there's something wrong with them, and Izuku can't tell exactly what it is. He's a handsome alpha that smells like summer and winter at the same time.

However, the omega doesn't feel threatened around him. Yes, the alpha seems to be looking at him a lot, but he seems curious.

"Maybe he just wants a friend!" Izuku says, before walking towards him, Ashido doesn't have the time to stop him.

"Hi!"

The alpha blushes upon seeing him so close and Izuku regrets approaching him like that. But then, the man smiles back at him and relaxes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you..."

"It's fine," the alpha keeps smiling, looking slightly amused this time. "Your friend probably noticed me staring at you. I didn't mean to... it's just... I know you come with the barbarians, and you're clearly wearing their clothes, but you don't quite move like one of them."

Izuku is quite impressed; it seems like he's not the only one who's been noticing weird things about the other.

He decides to be a bit honest with him.

"I've been with them for a couple of weeks. But I was not raised by them."

The young man nods as he takes a couple of steps closer to the omega.

"Why is that?"

"It's a long story," Izuku answers, prompting the other to smile at him. "You don't walk like common folk do."

The smile becomes wider somehow; the alpha seems intrigued, in a good way, by Izuku's observation.

"I don't because I'm not."

"And why is that?"

"It's a long story too."

The omega chuckles at that; he decides right there and then that he likes this stranger. He can feel in his heart that he can trust him.

"I'm Midoriya Izuku. It's a pleasure!"

"I'm To–Takamura Daisuke."

"Do you want to hang out with us today, Takamura?"

"I'd love to spend more time with you, Midoriya."

The others don't trust Takamura at all. They keep an eye on him all the time, but the alpha doesn't seem to be bothered by it.

At some point, Kirishima pulls Izuku aside to talk to him.

"Are you sure about this? We don't know him."

"You guys welcomed me in your group without even knowing me," Izuku kindly reminds him. "And I'm really grateful for it. I just feel like he's... kinda lonely."

"Your situation is completely different, Midoriya," the alpha with red hair explains, although he looks back at the omega with a fond expression. "We... kinda knew you already. Because Bakugo talked about you all the time; all the things you two did together when you were kids. Besides, we could tell from the moment he brought you that you were his... I mean, we know you're special to him. He trusts you completely."

His heart twists painfully at the words; this is why Izuku has to make sure he doesn't ruin Katsuki's life by staying with him.

His arrival had made some of the clans lost the trust they used to have in their own King. Sure, there's just three of them, but Izuku doesn't want to make things even worse for his friend.

"Let's just give him a chance," the omega insists. "Besides, he's just one and we're five. Pretty sure we can stop him if he tries to do something."

Kirishima sighs, but he nods at him before ruffling his hair.

"Alright. He can tag along."

Takamura doesn't speak that much and mostly respects their space, which Izuku can tell the others appreciate. But he does try to engage in conversation with the green haired omega a couple of times.

Izuku learns a few things about him, just by the way he speaks; he's clearly someone who has read a lot, and most likely has received some sort of education, which is weird among common folk. Izuku was lucky to get an education too, mostly because Toshinori made sure of it. He gave him lessons on all types of things.

"There's an inn nearby," the alpha with dark says after a while. "They sell good food in there."

Since they all are starving, the barbarians even smile at him at the suggestion. Izuku is glad they have started to get along, even though none of them will see Tanaka after that day again. He doesn't look like he belongs in the city either.

Even if they come back, it's not that very likely they'll get to see him again.

***

"You're not that bad," Kaminari says after a while, leaning further into his seat as he finishes his second meal. "The food here is really good."

Takamura nods, silently accepting the compliment from the beta, before turning his head towards Izuku again. Jiro narrows her eyes in suspicion nonetheless.

"I think we should go to the bakery!" Ashido says, eyes almost sparkling with joy at the mere thought of it.

Izuku has heard about those; stores often found in big cities that sell different kinds of bread. He beams, looking at the others expectantly.

"Of course we will!" Kirishima nods, prompting his beta to nuzzle against him before purring.

"I want to buy a few loaves of bread for Kacchan!"

"Is Kacchan your pet?" Takamura asks, so genuinely curious, no one around gets mad at him.

Jiro is the first to burst into laughter.

"Alright, that was funny!"

As the others laugh too, Izuku shakes his head, blushing to the tip of his ears.

"No! Uhh.. He's my friend!"

"He's talking about our King," Kirishima clarifies, still a bit amused by the situation; Izuku wonders if he and the others are planning to tell Katsuki about this just to see his reaction.

The omega looks at his friends' expressions and suddenly he doesn't have any doubts anymore; he knows they will tell him everything to piss him off.

"You mean Bakugo Katsuki?" The alpha with dark hair asks, intrigued. He gets closer to Izuku as he narrows his eyes. "He doesn't seem the type to have many friends."

"Do you know him?" Jiro asks him, mistrust shadowing her eyes again.

"I've heard about him and his short temper."

"It's true that Kacchan is not a very patient person," Izuku says, feeling the need to defend him. "But he's a very good man, who always tries to help those who need it; he's helped me a lot!"

"Is he nice to you?" Takamura asks the omega next to him. Still not sure if he should believe his words. He puts a hand over Izuku's, looking worried about him.

"All the time!"

The alpha nods, before rising from his seat and paying for everyone's meals.

"You don't have to!" Izuku says, flustered. Katsuki gave him enough money for a reason.

"You seem to have a lot of coins for a commoner," Ashido observes, pressing her lips together.

"I have a job that pays very well." The alpha responds, although he doesn't mention the kind of job he has.

Nobody asks him either.

***

"We also have to go to Uraraka's store to buy something to keep the bread fresh!" Jiro reminds them as soon as they walk out of the inn.

It's getting late.

"Who's Uraraka?" Izuku asks, curious.

"The witch! The friend I was telling you about!" the female omega reminds him with a huge grin.

Finally, someone Izuku can ask about his problem; he supposes that witch doesn't use dark magic, otherwise she wouldn't be that easy to contact, but perhaps she knows a way to break the curse Chisaki started.

The omega gets slightly startled when he feels a hand in his. Although he relaxes as soon as he sees Takamura right in front of him.

"I'm afraid I have to leave, Midoriya" he laments, bringing Izuku's hand to his lips to give it a quick kiss as he bows. "It's been a pleasure. I hope you can consider me your friend now."

"Of course!" Izuku mumbles, getting a bit flustered and confused at the same time. He's pretty sure common folk don't say goodbye to their friends like that.

"I'll see you again." He says, like a promise.

Izuku waves, nodding as he smiles, even though he knows that's very unlikely.

"That guy is super into Midoriya," Kaminari says after a while. "Glad we won't see him again."

The green haired omega blushes, shaking his head.

"He's not! He was just being nice because we're friends now!"

"Now I kinda get why you say the same about the gremlin King all the time," Ashido chuckles, rubbing her hand against Izuku's arm. "You're an oblivious, sweet omega."

Before Izuku can say anything else, he notices that Jiro starts stroking his other arm.

"What is it?"

"The guy had a strong alpha scent and it seems it clung to you for some reason. Bakugo will be pissed if he notices it on you." Jiro explains.

"You know what, forget it!" Ashido says after a while. "We can ask Uraraka to neutralize it with a potion of something."

"You're right!"

"I don't think Kacchan will get mad over something like this! I can explain to him that I made a new friend!"

"Of course you can, Midoriya," Kaminari says with a mischievous smirk on his face. "And I want to be there when you do it."

"Honestly, I think a conversation like that will be good for both of you," Kirishima cuts in, putting a gentle hand over Izuku's shoulder. "You two really need to communicate better. Especially Bakugo."

Izuku thinks they communicate quite well already, but maybe Kirishima's right, a little talk won't hurt. That way the omega can ask Katsuki if Izuku's presence is causing him trouble.

He hopes Uraraka has the solution to his problems. At least the most important one.

He really doesn't want to become a burden to Katsuki.

***

Next--->

Patreon

[esstrellaa123]

Clueless 😵‍💫

The air outside is hot and humid as you drive to the airport. Your car is cooler, smelling like a bakery was lit on fire and then doused in fluid that smelled like fresh strawberries.

Your blinker flickers on as you make a right turn, heading down the long road. The sound of your GPS rings out through the car, signaling that you’re only 5 more minutes away. The anticipation is killing you, as you speed up just a bit. Your god seems to be on your side as the light turns green just as you’re about to slow down.

The 5 minutes feel like 2 as you pull into the parking lot. The walk inside feels so incredibly slow as you scour the area.

Your eyes soon land on your favorite person. You practically jump on him before squeezing him tight.

“Anthony!” you call out in a cheery tone, legs still wrapped around his torso as you bury your face in his neck.

The first thing you take in is his smell.

“New cologne?” You ask, shamelessly sniffing his neck again. “Smells good.” You decide on before hopping down, taking his hand in yours and guiding him out.

“Missed you. Was so lonely without you at the house.” You say pouting.

You talk his ear off as usual, telling him about your day and the trouble you went through to pick him up from the airport. Talking of the slow traffic, and how you thought of getting your hair done a different color.

“Then… I was thinking about pizza, hm? Your favorite place?” you ask, finally turning to face him as you stand outside the passenger door of your car.

Only then do you realize that Anthony doesn’t look so Anthony.

“….”

“You done?” Simon finally asks, his head still ringing from your talking and the jet lag, and how fucking bright it is out here.

You don’t even speak, just staring at him bug eyed. You just know your face is red as you break eye contact with him every two seconds.

How could you not have noticed? He smelled different, didn’t even greet you, his proportions were all off. A bit taller, thicker, -a lot thicker- and he didn’t even hug you back. You were most upset about that part before realizing he had a good reason for it. You were a total stranger!

He only tilts his head at you before two more voices call out- what you assume is- his name because now you definitely know that it is not Anthony. He looks at you for a moment before turning to the people calling his name.

You let out a breath, turning as well as you tried to calm your heart.

“Jesus, Simon. Thought you got fookin kidnapped.” Someone who was absolutely rocking their mowhawk says. His accent is welcome surprise. It was nice to hear someone talk who didn’t have the same accent as you.

“Who’s this?” The other asks. His skin was brown, and he looked handsome. You notice his gear and feel sorry for anyone who hasn’t signed him as a model yet. Wasted talent.

You feel like a deer in the headlights as they all turn to you. Your heart rate spikes again, and you feel your face flush once more.

“Uhm-” You start before being cut off by, as you know now, Simon.

“Pretty bird was asking me out for dinner.” He says.

For some odd reason, they don’t question it, piling into your car.

~_--_~~_--_~~_--_~~_--_~~_--_~~_--_~~_

You find yourself squished between Simon and the wall of Anthony’s favorite pizza place.

Feeling a little out of place, you try to find solace in the familiar atmosphere but can’t as the two others look at you. You learned their names -Kyle and Johnny- on the ride there, but you still feel a little uncomfortable. Simon doesn’t help either. Especially with his nonstop, shameless staring.

They inquire about your name, and you tell then before going silent again.

Sean, the waiter, finally comes by, offering you some reprieve.

“Hey, long time no see.” Sean says, smiling at you, blissfully unaware of your current predicament.

“Hey Sean.” You say, giving a tiny smile, hoping he might get the hint to help.

“The usual, and… for them?” He says, jotting down in his tiny notebook.

They order, getting something simple but hearty. Just like Anthony.

“Where’s Ant?” Sean asks and you just shrug because he wasn’t answering any of your texts.

He walks off, leaving you in the middle of a group you’re a complete stranger to.

“So nervous.” Simon says, pulling you closer into his side. “Shoulda thought about tha’ ‘fore you started jumpin’ on me.” He says calmly and you can’t help but feel a tingle down your spine. Like you had screwed up in a major way. You mentally face palm yourself, thinking of how stupid you must be to jump on a stranger and not notice it until it’s too late.

You look to his friends for help, but they’re completely caught up in something else and you’re sure they wouldn’t do anything to help even if they weren’t. You look to Simon and he’s still staring down at you, smiling like he won the lottery. And to him, he did, to you, you were a reluctant prize.

And of course he’s smiling dumbly at you, because you’re his now silly 🙂

Maybe don’t go jumping and sniffing on strangers 🤷🏽‍♀️

~_--_~~_--_~~_--_~~_--_~~_--_~~_--_~~_

Don’t ask where Anthony is, it’s sad

[moddymoon]

Introduction Update...

This is going to take a while to write I think:

Look at current introduction.

Add some stuff that currently gets frequently asked:

Sissy

Slave

Submissive

Switch

Add some stuff about parts that get missed:

Programming

Hypnosis

Trans

Plural

Tech

Security

Autism

Non-binary

Incontinence

ABDL

Add some stuff about contact:

I won't pay you.

I love talking if it's a conversation

Feel free to send me asks

Things not to tell a stranger on the internet.

That's most of what I want here.

Previous Introduction

I have an old introduction post from April 5th (that's not that old just over a month old, but it was probably a bit of a brief introduction. I'm just not very good at doing that, and at that time I had nothing that I could find in my backlog as to what would be considered to be an introduction, so I wrote something up quickly.

The first thing that we talk about there is plurality. I'm not really going to go much into it right here, because I plan on talking more about it further down, but yes, we're a plural system.

And oddly the next thing is our age, (which we keep getting asked about, so it means these people have not read the pinned post). I'm not going to repeat that (but I'm not removing the old post either).

In that it talks a bit about disability. Including neurodivergence, specifically autism.

The next thing I talk about is incontinence. Which sort of extends to ABDL stuff.

Then basically we say that people are free to contact us (there will be more at the bottom of this about that). So, that's just going over what I have already said.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Here's some questions I get asked and while some of these get asked in a combined form I'm going to break them down to the component parts...

Are you a sissy? (why is ### unsuported?)

I'm trans. I was assigned male at birth. I am non-binary. The "Are you a sissy?" type quiz things often will say that yes I am a sissy.

My problem? Well I'm not quite sure if that's an identity I fully would embrace, or if it's a "play" thing.

Are you a slave?

Briefly, if the answer to that is, "yes" then either you are someone closely associated with me and my role in that position, or you shouldn't be answering that.

I am interested in the submissive thing. I've explored lightly the idea of "slave" and would like to explore it further with the right person/people.

Chances are, if you're asking that, you're not going to be the right person.

I guess maybe if you've shown that you've read what I've had to say, and you'd like to confirm what my current status is, and make it clear, then I get it. But... I've not had anything close to that.

And as to whether I would... I'm already in a long distance relationship of some similar nature, and I'm OK with exploring with others, or more with that person in that direction.

Are you a submissive?

Yes, though... I tend to be more than just a submissive, and if you're asking that, then your sense probably isn't what I mean by that.

Here's the thing that I want to say, most people who have asked, don't seem to have a sense of this being a relationship that is built, and that is built on mutual respect and understanding.

If you're one of those people, then probably we're not going to get very far. And while it's not asked, it comes out of these above questions.

Are you a switch?

YES ABSOLUTELY... Part of that is not really being able to define things in black and white, but for example, the "Caregiver/little" role (the relationship mentioned above), overall I feel I'm more of a little, but I end up taking a Caregiver role more often when it comes to a relationship. And I'm fine with that.

Parts that have been missed

I want to write a bit about some stuff I think is missing overall here.

What about programming?

I ended up checking out the tag, "programming" in relationship to hypnosis type stuff, and ran into stuff like "Python" which I was, "dang I can get people talking about that too?" So yes I do programming, I'm not that great, some people have told me that I shouldn't (they might be right, but that's not a useful thing to say).

So yes, I do computer programming.

Hypnosis?

OK, as I just mentioned, I also am into hypnosis, and I guess a lot of other "mental health," or "psychology" type topics. I don't really want to go into detail, but it's relevant to just say yep...

Gender identity stuff...

I've mentioned it above, and probably will more so below. We're non-binary. We tend to present more feminine, than masculine.

What about the incontinence?

Yeah, I have some incontinence, I would say it's mostly urge related, but trying to figure it out, we've not really got a clear answer. Most of the time, if we're on top of things, it's more a matter of "barely making it to the bathroom in time" but there have been some seriously notable accidents... I might talk about them in private once I get to know you (or on some other platform).

But aren't you ABDL?

Yes, as I say often, "Why not both?" There's two things here... Many people who do have incontinence, actually discover that diapers can make their lives incredibly better, and they fall in love with being able to wear, and use diapers...

That literally makes them diaper lovers, and part of the community. Even if it's just really that they love what it does for them on a personal level.

ABDL does not have to be (and often is not sexual), and that's part of the reason that people don't want to associate with it.

And also, people think that ABs and DLs "must go together". Which also not true. Yes, I'm both, but you can be one, without the other (you can even be an AB, who has none of the DL stuff).

Communicating with me

OK, this is where I run into some stuff that I'm often not sure about... Not that I'm not sure about what people are doing, more about my response.

Will you pay me to be your ... whatever?

No, I won't. Especially not if you contacted me first. My following you is not contacting you. My messaging you, because you asked... Is not contacting you.

If you really are just looking to get paid, then save your time, go find someone else to contact.

Will you talk to me?

Absolutely, I love a good conversation. If it's a good give and take (and yes it can take a bit to get there) I'm all up for it.

I'm up for it also if it does take a while to get there, and even if you want to talk about stuff that I'm not really interested in.

If I say something along the lines of, "I won't answer that," or "I won't do that with you where we're at in our relationship." It's not that I'm saying no to the conversation. It's that I'm stating that that particular thing is not OK at least right now.

If you still want to talk, I'm still up to it. Just not in that direction.

Can I send an ask?

I've had some great asks, and I love them. If you want to do that, go for it. I don't know what sending an anonymous ask does on, well either end, but I hope that it will show up in your activity when I answer. So feel free to send me an ask. So far, I've answered every one I've got, on any platform. The answer might be "no I'm not interested," but I haven't had one that I'm feeling even the asking is not OK.

Do you have things you won't answer?

This is the "Things that you should not tell a stranger on the internet," section.

Yes, there's things that I won't answer, at least while you're a stranger:

Where are you located?

What's your age?

What's your sex? (these are what were called ASL questions, and while often asked, have never really been considered appropriate)

What's your real name?

Are you ??? when the thing being asked is a really complicated thing with no yes/no answer?

What is your phone number?

Can you contact me on x other platform (maybe, but most of the time I literally can't I've tried, and people have gotten mad at me for saying no)?

That's not the whole list, but it's enough for now.

Take care everyone... I wasn't sure I was going to get this in a form I was happy with, but here we are.

***THANK YOU TUMBLR FOR MESSING ALL OPPORTUNITIES TO PROPERLY FORMAT POSTS***

[nerdy-frog98]

I have been deeply entrenched in shipping culture since I was 11 and rooting for Aang and Katara (I wanted Zuko for myself so I’d get mad at everyone suggesting Zuko and Katara. I have since seen the light. #zukka4ever), but I don’t remember ever being as invested in characters love lives (or, rather, sexualities) more so than Michael Wheeler and Edmundo Diaz.

Mike (Stranger Things) and Eddie (9-1-1) are very similar. A few examples:

- they both are incredibly complex characters that make poor decisions when it comes to their female love interests.

- they both have a canonically queer best friend! And both of their best friends (Will and Buck) are often infantilized by their respective fandoms when, in fact, both are incredibly capable and smart.

- they both seem to have this intense need to conform to societal standards (though they come from different places because of how different their circumstances are).

- both are extremely queer coded.

Stranger Things is a brilliant show. The fantasy horror is the first of its kind and something that has paved the way for many others. 9-1-1 is one of the most watched network television shows currently streaming, and though it’s not the first of its kind, it is certainly unique. Both are great shows, and both have EXTREME potential to make queer media history. Byler and Buddie.

I’ve been thinking about this a little bit, but in a way, Stranger Things AND 9-1-1 have written themselves into a corner with Mike and Eddie. See, a lot of what they do doesn’t make sense unless you view their motivations with a queer lens. Mike treating his breakup with El as a joke, but his fight with Will as something dire. Eddie saying dating feels like a performance (and breaking up with Ana, hottest woman ever, because he had panic attacks imagining their future? So unserious). There’s so much more evidence, but my point is that if Stranger Things makes Mike straight, it will automatically make Mike the ultimate asshole of the show. If 9-1-1 makes Eddie straight, well…most of his actions with Shannon, Ana, and Marisol will not have made sense (or at least not to me). Genuinely, the only way these characters can make it out is if they are gay. Not just gay, but also deeply in love with their best friends.

I’ve never felt this with any other show, but Eddie and Mike have this one major similarity, and it’s that they are either the most well written, beautifully complex characters ever to exist, or they are the biggest disappointments any show will ever have. And it’s weird, but that difference hinges on whether or not they have feelings for their best friends.

[also, yall are welcome to disagree with me, but pls be respectful. I don’t mind disagreements, but i would prefer name calling not be part of it. This is MY opinion, I don’t expect everyone to think the same as me]

[osleeplessflowero]

"Don't follow me, you'll end up in my arms.."

Time for some more Dust appreciation. :)

Oneshot Masterpost * Notes: - Gender Neutral Reader - Part of the Bad Sanses collection

Alone With You

It's truly a lovely night. The stars twinkle overhead in the sky, the moon shining its natural spotlight over Nightmare's castle. A mission had gone quite well a few hours prior in the day, so you suggested the idea of having a little party to celebrate such a feat. With slight reluctance, you managed to get the others to agree.

So here you are, currently decorating the living room while Killer lifts you using his magic, your soul covered in a pretty shade of blue that illuminates the space around you. With a smile, you finish taping up a banner, and give him a thumbs up so he puts you back down onto the ground. Your legs wobble slightly as you land, adjusting yourself by grabbing onto one of the various couches.

"alright, you got this area pretty much covered. like i genuinely can't find a spot you didn't overly decorate." Killer grins, looking at your handiwork. Well, he's right: the room is covered from head to toe with party decorations, a few boxes of supplies now empty. Nightmare shakes his head at your antics as he watches from his favorite chair, legs crossed.

"And you'll be the ones to clean it up when this is over. Right?" He silently warns, a challenging smirk on his face. Killer gulps comically, letting out a sheepish laugh. You nudge his shoulder, before nodding at Nightmare.

"Yes, we will." You smile, the ruler's own relaxing a bit when your eyes meet. Dust and Horror enter the room from different directions, the latter going over to get a drink from the small table you set up. Dust leans on one of the walls, occasionally glancing off to the side and muttering things to..well, as far as you know, no one.

You find yourself glancing over at him from time to time, before Killer claps his hands, a sign that you're finally done decorating anywhere you could think of. "mkay! let's get this party STARTED- i'm feelin' up for some karaoke..HIT IT HORROR-"

"no." Is all he says as he lifts his drink to his teeth, taking a sip. "oKAY!" Killer goes to start up a song himself. You let out a snicker at their shenanigans, Nightmare rolling his eyelight in response. Some upbeat music begins to play as Killer grabs a mic, posing dramatically before the lyrics begin to pop up on screen.

Your gaze shifts from him to Dust when you see the other skeleton moving a hand into the darkened depths of his hood, your brows furrowing in worry. He steps outside after a few minutes of Killer's performance, needing a break..you look over to the others who seem to be distracted at the moment before opening the door leading outside as well, closing it gently behind you.

You spot him leaning against a wall of the castle, holding his head and wincing, muttering again..

"i know, i- fuck, stop being so loud. it's too much. too loud. it hurts my skull. please." There's a short pause, and he seems to calm down.. lifting up a small box from his pocket and taking out a magic infused cigarette, lighting it and taking a puff.

You frown as you walk over, stopping in place when his eyelights drift over to you. You smile a little at being acknowledged, but your worry is still obvious due to your furrowed brows.

"Hey, stranger. You feeling okay? You left all of a sudden..just wanted to make sure you're alright." You continue walking until you're by his side, leaning on the wall next to him and crossing your arms. He lets out a slight huff, looking up at the stars.

"just kinda..overstimulated. needed some quiet to calm down and killer singing california girls in there was not helping."

You let out a slight laugh, the skeleton beside you smiling a bit at the fact that it was because of him. "Yeah, I get that. If it helps..I could stay out here with you for a little bit."

He turns to look at you more directly.

"Ah- um-" You start to backtrack, getting a little nervous. "Of course, if you'd prefer to be alone I totally get that, I can go back inside and wait for you-"

"i'd like that. you don't have to stay out here if you don't want to, though. you spent all that time in there.."

"I do want to spend time with you, though..we've got all night for the party. I want.." You trail off when you realize how close he's standing now, leaning over you and looking down. You can only see his eyelights within the darkness of his hood thanks to your dark environment, the sun usually causing his eyes to be shrouded in darkness as well. His gaze is constant..he barely blinks, his eyes relaxed since he's in your presence. You clear your throat. "I want to stay with you as long as you're out here."

"well, alright then.. if that's what you really want." He backs away from you, dropping the cig after a few more puffs and crushing it with his shoe, walking along a path and motioning for you to follow. You do, hurrying a little to stay behind him as he makes his way over to the large stone fountain by Nightmare's rose garden.

You both sit at a small distance from each other on the fountain, Dust leaning back to stargaze and you fiddling with your thumbs. It'd been a hot minute since you could be alone together..and while you're not exactly happy with the fact it's because he was overstimulated, you are glad you can spend some time with him anyway.

"you know.. i don't think it ever gets old." There's a fondness to his voice as you look over. "the stars, i mean. looking at them reminds me of the first time i got to see them.. things're a lot different now, but..i know they'll always remain the same. a nice view on nice nights."

"You really like them, huh?" You smile, looking up yourself.

"yeah..one sight i could never get tired of." He smiles, even though you can't see it from where you're sitting.

"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" You look up at it as the skeleton's eyelights drift over to you, his eyelights softening.

"yeah..it really is."

You look over at him, your face beginning to feel warm upon seeing his expression. He puts his hand on his forehead, letting out a chuckle.

"you have got to stop looking at me like that."

"It's not like I mean to, you did this to me." You frown, furrowing your brows. He lets out a laugh at that, shifting his position and putting his arms around you..you freeze in place, knowing fully well that Dust is not usually one to initiate contact.

He's warm..the magic within him gives you warmth, despite his bones being so cold. You rest your head on his shoulder, looking vacantly into the distance. His arms rest comfortably around your body, holding you as comfortably close as possible..his chin resting on your head.

"sorry..just..need this for a little bit. i need to be a little selfish from time to time."

You sigh, hugging him gently. "I don't mind it at all, Dust. You can hold me whenever you want." You smile when you hear him chuckle again, closing his eyes.

"that's the thing..can't really say that if it's all the time." "Dust.."

The music inside changes, and you can't seem to hear Killer's muffled voice anymore. He must've decided to stop for a little bit.

Hearing one song in particular, you slowly move away from Dust..holding out your hand with a smile. He tilts his head to show confusion in response, looking between you and your hand.

"C'mon..let's have a little party of our own." Your smile shifts into a grin, and after a moment of contemplation, he agrees. He takes your hand, letting you pull him up off of the fountain (with a slight struggle because he's a big guy).

He seems to realize what you want to do, placing his arms around your waist before abruptly pulling you towards himself. You feel your face flush a bit darker as you look up into his eyelights before rolling your eyes at his now faintly visible smug grin.

You raise your arms and put them around his neck, the two of you beginning to slowly sway to the beat of the song playing inside. Someone slightly cracks the door so it's louder before disappearing back inside..you have a feeling you know who it is.

"What on earth are they doing out there?" Nightmare glances out the window from his chair, Killer standing a little closer to it to watch.

"they're having a moment, boss- i gotta give 'em a good setup."

"My my..I'd expected you to want to sabotage their time together, due to how jealous you few tend to get." Nightmare raises a browbone.

"well..we're all their partners. so we should all have time at some point." Killer rests his chin between his hands, smiling as he observes the two of you.

"..thanks for sticking with me. i didn't really want you to go." Dust averts his eyes, and you let out a little laugh.

"I know. I could tell. I wasn't gonna go anyway.. I'd prefer for everybody to be together, the party wouldn't be the same without you." You smile, seeing a bright shade of purple illuminating his hood and revealing his face.

"..you're too sweet for me. i don't deserve you."

"Untrue. You're perfect for me, and I'm perfect for you in..some way."

He chuckles again, a fondness to his eyes as he leans down and steals your lips with a kiss. You slowly close your eyes, leaning into it and holding still..savoring the moment. Magic fills your senses, a sour taste that you don't mind all that much hitting your tongue.

Eventually you have to break the kiss to breathe, taking a few light breaths and pressing your forehead against his. It's peaceful for a few seconds before he whispers to you.

"i think i'm ready to go back in now." You smile and nod at his statement, taking his hand and leading him along the path back to the door. Killer jolts in his spot, going back to pretend he was doing something while waiting on you both.

"heeey! glad you guys are back, who's up for some party games?" He grins, holding up some board game boxes. The two of you share a glance, before nodding in his direction.

"You can pick, Killer. I don't mind. You guys wanna play anything in particular?" You sit down, Killer sitting on your right and Dust on your left. Nightmare remains where he is, and Horror sits across from you.

"he can pick anything except for candyland. i'm sick of it." Dust rests his arms on the table, his chin resting on top of them.

"you're just salty i beat you last time." Killer taunts, earning a scoff from him. "you wanna go there? okay bet, let's play candyland."

You roll your eyes as Killer quickly begins setting up the board, smiling to yourself as you think of how the evening's gone so far.