#curing depression for the bit
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takealookintheback · 8 months ago
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Wiktor Król in "Schweine" (2024)
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tethrras · 8 days ago
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i have not even begun to process how lavinia is feeling and instead i am thinking about hilda and alistair going to weisshaupt after adamant and hilda saying they're just gonna stay for a bit before heading out to work with the inquisition and then it's been a year and then two years and beth and nathaniel are back at vigil's keep but hilda can't bring herself to go back when the whole order is at best a laughingstock and at worst an enemy in ferelden and her and alistair build a home in weisshaupt that neither of them really want and. Augh.
#hilda is a very. i wouldn't say happy. but she is very optimistic.#generally. but then there are times when things happen that make her fall into SERIOUS serious depression#like vigil's keep/amaranthine and then not finding a cure for the calling and then what happened#with erimond#she is so humiliated. and totally loses herself and walks around weisshaupt like a shell of her former self#she goes on long pilgrimages to our lady of the anderfels without telling alistair lol just fully#goes out in the middle of the night and leaves a note but hidden in his pockets somewhere#he paces grooves into the floor of their temporary room in weisshaupt while he waits for her to come back#and alistair meanwhile who also feels humiliated about the order also feels righteous and regains#a lot of personal street cred after what happened. and people start to acknowledge him#REALLY acknowledge him. for his part in the fifth blight. and how much of a hero he is#but at the cost of his wife disappearing into herself. so it's not even a win.#i know lancit and remi are the griffon's trainers but atp the griffons are still 10 years old - if not more?#i think valya found them in 9:40 or 41 so they're like 11-12?#hilda was there for a bit of their growing up and totally claimed one#and she won't say it's because she knows ser pounce a lot and lady rarely pounces#and rooney and all the other cats at vigil's keep are... either dead or living in the wild#after all the fereldan wardens abandoned it and she was off on the calling#:|#just made myself sad and pissed myself off.#wait wtf why DID I WRITE THIS POST I'M GOING TO PASS AWAY....................#oc: hilda#pairing: hilda x alistair#datv spoilers#maia.txt
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there-will-be-a-way · 6 months ago
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I have a date for top surgery! The 6th of September! Not even four months from now. I'm starting to believe this really is happening! My last four months in my life that I will spend with boobies and a womb. It's the only hospital in my country that removes both in one surgery. I'm so excited y'all. When I heard the news, I started shaking so badly I could barely hold my phone 😂
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rasazys-ramblings · 10 months ago
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A normal song goes OOOOooooOOOOOOOOooooouh oooowooooooOOOOohwoh awhooooOOOOoh and I say it's ass but Vivid BAD SQUAD does the same thing and I go THIS ONE RIGHT HERE THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG THIS IS THE SONG THE ONLY SONG THAT HAS EVER SUCCESSFULLY WOKE ME UP IN THE MORNINGS WITHOUT ME COMPLAINING AND TIRED AS FUCK THIS IS THE SONG THAT MAKES ME WAKE UP REFRESHED AND READY FOR THE DAY THIS IS THE SONG THAT MOTIVATES ME THIS IS IT RIGHT HERE
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owlfrommars · 1 year ago
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My random summer pics 🌾
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spotsupstuff · 1 year ago
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Is Spore very lonely?
lord in heaven amen tma -draws cross over chest- Yeah capital Y required
she is Incredibly fucked up from isolation- so this poor woman starts off as a medical professional. you know. a person who's supposed to help people no matter what, save their lives? so she was bound to be Extremely close with her citizens. she cured them, nursed the kids from the egg stage all the way to adulthood- ALL of that
and then one day they leave her. because the fungi become dangerous to them, but just how is she supposed to deal with that either way? yes, she agreed that her facilities have to be evacuated because medical professional and their health was her number one priority, but it still *hurt*
at least she still had her communication arrays
then came the Polar War and she got to be with people again, even if only with her overseers. she treated soldiers, guided other medical personal on-site, gave the final word on when someone had to be killed either because they weren't curable with current supplies or, horrifyingly enough, when the medical tents were too full and there was no other choice
but with the Polar War also came the horror that was the prisoner situation within the Eo group. almost all Frost's Promise soldiers were taken to the Mildew Perimeter, into the old abandoned villages, to be experimented on in the name of the war effort. it was happening Right under her nose and it was almost as torturous for her as it was for the poor prisoners. so one day she made a deal with Eo rebellion groups to help a portion of the Frost's Promise army to sneak into her facilities and free the prisoners and just take them home and keep them safe from all these horrors
the War ended. the Eo group won, but the Aeolus Council was still furious about the escape of the prisoners from the Mildew Perimeter. so they put in the effort to find out what happened. they figure it was Spore's fault, Orion (Spore's closest friend) gets angry at her too because he was there on the front lines doing his damnest to keep the Eo armies safe and get as many prisoners as possible (since wars/battles in RW are more about capture than killing because of the respawn system). but he didn't know about the experiments and was too angry with her to listen to her trying to explain herself. as far as HE knows, she caused the war to stretch on for longer than it had to
the Aeolus Council decides on punishment. they cut off her communication systems, enter her systems and disable all her overseers. she's blind, she's deaf and she's so damnably alone. nobody at all tries to contact her. nobody really cared outside of Ori and Ori is too angry
her punishment lifts years later and she's broken beyond reason. she can't speak right anymore, the mushrooms got into her life important systems (she let them. they are friends. they tell her nice, comforting things in her head while they eat away at her consciousness. that's okay, that at least means they'll never leave). she broke her Individuality apart JUST so she can find companionship within her own Hivemind
Orion tries to apologize, having figured out that he was in the wrong, what really happened in the Mildew Perimeter during the Polar War. she's too scared and hurt to listen to him- but she needs *someone*
Sordid Expiation gets into contact with her first. and she genuinely wants to help! so she extends her olive branch, accepts this lost elder of the Eo group as her close friend, as someone to look after. but of course, Expiation is already a good friend with Gem. naturally, Spore is reintroduced to the local Witch Lady. she's too desparate to say no, too broken to resist manipulation
and so Spore gets fucked over by her crippling loneliness Twice. with the shrooms and with the manipulative bitch that is Gem. she is lonely enough that she chooses to die twice
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subbyp · 1 year ago
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read in a fanfic somewhere that “Hizashi” means “sunshine” and like???? is that true?? because??????
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dayydreams-s · 2 years ago
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everyone on djats is messy as fuck and i’m loving my life
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anaalnathrakhs · 8 months ago
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btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.
#i know there are compromises out there#and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered#and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine#but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit.#i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough#i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them.#but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu''#it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps????#it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me#throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks#when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding#it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer#''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped.#the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone#the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me#and they've got their own shit to deal with#on that note#i was discussing stuff with my mom#and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents#and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????''#oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting#or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting#maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace#maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted#maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc#and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me#how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way#how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells#broadcasting my misery#vent
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dogearedheart · 4 months ago
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8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
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tethrras · 11 days ago
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on another note i am thinking about hilda and alistair living in weisshaupt for a few years after inquisition and her meeting the griffons and just losing her mind.
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funnymanoopsy · 1 year ago
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i Kurukero posting
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multi-lefaiye · 1 year ago
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actually yeah i'm just gonna go ahead and state this boundary real quick. i'm not saying this as an attack on anyone, but i figure i should say something b/c this does make me extremely uncomfortable.
anyway random people coming onto my silly posts to be self-deprecating annoy me and i'm at the point where i just block on sight.
genuinely if you blorbo tag a post... unless i say otherwise, go for it. that's fine. i love seeing those.
if you're coming onto my post where i jokingly self-aggrandize about how cool i am and how much people love me just to say that you wish that applied to you and no one loves you! i'm probably gonna dip! i'm sorry if that sounds mean and i genuinely wish you the best, but that's not what we're about my guy and i do not really want that on my post
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maybege · 1 year ago
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patchworkgargoyle · 6 months ago
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Monkey Man was Rad as Hell
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branches-in-a-flood · 7 months ago
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The pro photos of the bitches' event are up and the whippet looks so gods damned happy I'm going to buy 5 of them. Though there are only a handful of the black dog. I think she must not photograph well, since there are only ever about 3 of her compared for galleries of other dogs.
(the black dog is also currently the 6th fastest of her breed in the country. Despite running about 2 mph slower this year. I think we just need 2-3 more runs for her next title!)
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