#crying screaming hugging whatever object stands next to me

[supermentaleyeliner]

"PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY IS MY FAVORITE!" he yells, as she runs away from him to 'where she belongs', frustrated that she's fake and everything she's done and made to fit in at his kingdom is fake, after casting an anti-spell to get rid of all the food she made with spells, revealing the only things she actually had the ability to prepare, all that 'she is', a glass of water and a PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH on a picnic table

[nightowlfandom]

Kanato Sakamaki- I’m Sadistic For You

FINALLY SOMEONE REQUESTS DIABOLIK LOVERS CONTENT AAAAHHH THANK YOU BESTIE! I GOT YOUR OTHER ONE AND I’M DOING IT TOO!  

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

So ANON ASKS

For Kanato from DL ( I haven’t seen much done for him and it makes me sad because he’s a favorite ). (: I could Lowkey do some more if you’re not super bogged down I had another idea BUT I ALREADY SUBMITED ANOTHER BEFORE THIS SO IM NOT GONNA OVERWHELM YOU LOL but- anyway Fee free to be as nsfw with my prompts (if you do them) as you want. I dont have any triggers so- writing them super accurate and sadistic won’t bother me :3

Bruh....Jesus is my helmet...but NOT TODAY let’s fucking go! Okay readers, you heard, they aint got no triggers. So if you do...move it along.

52- “You can’t call me cute!”

80- “Shut up! I’m not blushing!”

31-“You need to be taught a lesson…”

81- “You look so...inviting all tied up.”

84- “What’s the word I’m looking for?....Pet!”

Also in this you and Yui are BFFs because she isn’t some cold hearted bitch (homegirl trips over oxygen, plus I love her lol)

I was legit about to have him spit in your mouth....I’m so shameful...maybe next time.

Leggo!

I’m turning into a Yandere account and I am totally okay with that.

...

“You know living here isn’t that bad.” you mused to Yui. “When no one is talking.”

Your friend laughed as she cut up some carrots. Yui turned to look at you as she prepare to peel some potatoes. “So living here is terrible every day other than right now?” she replied.

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing. She wasn’t wrong. 

You and Yui were making dinner for the house. After a ambush that landed everyone injured except you and her (thankfully). You had offered to make soup and stew for everyone. They were all in their respective rooms healing while you had prepared everything.

“They really fought hard today, I thought Kanato was about to rip that vampires jaw off. He’s really protective of you, Y/N.” she winked. “I think he likes you more than he lets on.” 

Kanato and you had a very strange relationship. He hated you, but he didn’t HATE you. No one could lay a finger on you, no one could even look at you, even if he said he didn’t care. Reiji tried to and Kanato almost murdered him.

“He then told me that Teddy said I was ugly.” you reminded her flatly. “Yeah he so cares.” you snorted.

“Maybe he has trouble telling you his feelings”

“I wish everyone was as optimistic as you.” you shook your head. “Looks like the soup is finished.” 

“I’m just saying Y/N, just think about it.”

...

You only had one bowl of soup left to deliver, to Kanato’s room. You grumbled as you stood outside the door. 

“Kanato? It’s me.” you knocked on the door. “I’m coming in okay?” 

Before you could wait for an answer you opened the door and walked in with the cart. 

Kanato was laying on his bed when you entered, groaning in what you assumed was boredom.

“Teddy, tell Y/N that I don’t want whatever she made.” Kanato turned away from you. The scars he had suffered on his back said it all. All for you...

Your recalled the terror in your voice as you had screamed for help as the rogue vampire wrapped his claws around your leg. Kanato’s name was the first to escape your lips as you had tried to crawl away to Yui. You remembered reaching out to Kanato with your strongest hand, begging him to save you.

The look in his eyes was feral as he screamed your name too, grabbing you hand and pulling you to him. You were sobbing into his chest, clutching onto him for dear life for a good ten seconds before Yui replaced him, hugging you tightly in her small arms too. Before you knew it, the rogue’s head had been thrown through a window...

...

“Y/N, Look at me! You’re safe now...you’re safe with me...”

...

“Teddy, could you please tell Kanato that while his pouting is very adorable, it won’t get him out of this?”

“Don’t call me cute! You can’t do that.” Kanato glared at you through hooded eyes. “If I wasn’t so weak I’d-”

“Well let me take care of you.” you cut him off, taking the bowl to him. “For me?”

Kanato paused, his glare softening. 

“You must be in love with me if you’re so insistent on me getting better.” he grumbled, sitting up. “Y/N is in love with me Teddy!”

“Kanato.” you felt your face heat up violently. “Don’t say things like that.” you groaned.

“It’s blushing teddy, how cute!”

Kanato’s use of the word ‘it’ wasn’t new to you. In fact when he wasn’t calling you names, chasing you around with forks pretending to stab you, or worse, it was denoting you to objects.

“H-hey! I am not blushing!” you pouted. “My face just looks that way.” you lied. “S-shut up.” you grumbled.

“And what if I don’t feel like it?” he challenged, knowing you wouldn’t say a word back. You were kind of like Yui. You wouldn’t dare challenge any of the Sakamaki brothers. It was a death sentence in every sense of the word.

“Kanato, I just want you to feel better.” you looked down at your feet. 

“There’s one thing you can do.” Kanato used his strength to stand to his feet. Despite his looks, he was tall, and under that cute exterior was a mean and feral beast. He staggered over to you, a sick smile on his face. That couldn’t be good, not by a long shot. 

“And what exactly would that be?” you asked. You couldn’t look at him. You didn’t wanna know what he was planning. You were positive that it wasn’t gonna end well either. 

“Get on your knees.”

“My knees?” you repeated. “Why do you want me to-”

“Now Y/N.” he spoke over you. You felt his hand on your shoulder. “I don’t like repeating myself.” his nails dug into your skin, causing your knees to wobble under the pain. “On. Your. Knees!”

Your feet gave out, practically sending you crashing down to the floor. You looked like a dog, on your hands and knees. You appeared weak and pathetic.

You found it in yourself to look up at Kanato. Teddy was perched on the bed, ‘watching’ you two. You felt his fingertips creep under your chin. 

“Aww...” he smiled. “You’re like a little...What’s the word I’m looking for...PET!. It’s cute.” He caressed the side of your face. “Too bad I kill all my pets...they can’t handle me...can you handle me, Pet?”

“Yes, Kanato.” you found yourself saying. You felt like you didn’t have a choice...

and you loved every second of it.

“Bullying you has made me regain my strength! Isn’t this wonderful?” he wrapped one of his hands around your neck. “You’re so fun to torment” he laughed.

“K-kanato.” you coughed.

“Is it hard to breath. Y/N?” he asked sinisterly, that crazed smile gracing his lips. His words were terrifying although his actions said otherwise. He loosened his grip on your throat, allowing air to flow more freely. It was those small things that made you think he didn’t hate you as much as he loved to preach.

“Y/N...when that vampire came...I thought I was gonna lose you for good this time” he said sadly, allowing his arm to return to his side. “I thought I had-...that you were gonna die.” 

“You saved me though.” you replied. Kanato knelt down to your level, still slightly above you. 

“Yeah...because if anyone is gonna break you, it’s gonna be me.”

“I care about you a lot, Kanato.” you finally said it. “I like you too much.” you exposed yourself. “I want you stay by your side.” you said pathetically. “Even if you hate me.”

Before you could say another word, Kanato claimed your lips in a kiss. He held the sides of your face in his hands. It was the first time he had ever kissed you. He hummed thoughtfully, pushing you down to the floor so you were laying on your back. He crawled over you, not breaking the kiss. 

“K-kanato.” you whimpered.

“You need to be taught a lesson. If your gonna be my girlfri- I mean pet, you’ll have to learn.” he kissed down your neck.

Suddenly, Kanato ripped the seam of your jeans all the way up your left leg, leaving it completely exposed to the air.

“Oh look, your clothes are messed up, guess we’ll have to take them off.” he smirked. In another swift motion, your pants were torn to shreds. The fabric fell in a circle around you both.

“Teddy look! Y/N is wearing such cute panties.” he cackled maniacally. “Her naughty place is leaking.”

You trembled, waiting for him to do whatever it was he was planning.

“I heard blood tastes better when it’s from your naughty place.” he ran his tongue along the top row of his teeth. “Y/N” he moaned, running his index finger along your clothed heat. “You smelled so much better here...I just want to- ungh.”

He suddenly drove his fangs into your right thigh. You gasped, arching your back. He violently grabbed your legs, holding them down. His tongue lashed against your freshly made wound. 

You could hear him whimpering, cursing under his breath. 

Kanato would deny it with his life, but everything about you was like a drug to you. Tasting your blood was even sweeter than every dessert he’s ever tasted. Feeling you whimper and plea for him did things to him that would make a sailor blush. 

Forget Yui, forget his brothers, forget it all.

“Fuh-” Kanato couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t stop himself from ripping off your panties and driving his tongue into your most sensitive parts. Hearing you moan for him, cry for him. 

The rumors were right, vampires were godly lovers. It was like Kanato knew what you wanted and where. He lashed his tongue against your heat, grabbing your legs. 

“Wrap your legs around my head,” he demanded. “Not like it’s gonna kill me.” he laughed manically. “

Knock knock

“Y/N, are you in there?” Yui’s small voice caused you to panic a little. As you tried to get up, Kanato pushed you right back down, growling into your pussy,

“FUCK!” you whined, making it very obvious what you two were up to. “Kanato, I can’t-”

“Then don’t.” he grunted, not ceasing his movements. “Cum, cum for me.”

“K-KAANAAA!” you cried as you came. You thrashed and writhed under his touch, but he didn’t stop. His tongue never stopped moving. “fuh- fuck! Kanato, t-too much!”

“I said cum for me, I didn’t say I’d stop.” he thrust his fingers into you to add insult to injury. “You’re so fun to fuck with!” he spat.

“Kanato!” you sobbed. You couldn’t stop moving, you couldn’t stop thrashing. Th epleasure had gotten to you so much, you were drooling.

He finally withdrew his mouth from you, smiling evilly at the mess he left.

Kanato had grabbed one of his ties that had left on the floor and bound your wrists together.

“You look so inviting tied up for me...” he shuddered as he bit his lip. He licked his fingers clean of your blood and juices. “Good thing the night is young...because I’m not done with you.”

...

[slowpoke-fics]

Sacrifice

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Pack x Reader

Request Summary: You're Scotts twin sister and make a sacrifice for the good of the pack

Warnings: death, panic attack, angst, murder described, death described, reader death; I know for a fact I've missed some and this one is pretty fucking rough, as always read at your own risk.

A/N: This one is angsty, and just a tad longer than normal, consider it my apology to nonnie for taking so damn long on this request. I hope you guys love it, and again, this one is rough, read at your own risk.

You're able to grab one of the fucking resilient demonic ninja's off of Isaac. You could smell his pain, his blood, and you could smell Allisons determination. The second one on Isaac was shot with Allisons arrow, it's glowing green, fighting with the clear pain it's experiencing. With a split decision you're next to Allison, pushing her out of the way, a sharp pain through your chest, and then you're numb.

Allison's face is rampant with fear, her shirt holding a tiny cut that didn't grace the skin. Good, she's okay, and then you're falling.

You don't hit the ground though, your brother, Scott, holding your face with a stray tear falling down his face. You reach up and wipe it away, "It's okay Scotty, it doesn't hurt." Scott chokes back a sob, his hand gently rubbing yours, "Is everyone else okay?" Scott starts to speak, his voice betraying him, sounding mangled, "Yeah, everyone is okay Y/n, you're gonna be okay too." You shook your head, "Not in the way you think I am," Scott finally releases a sob, "no, no, big brother," he tries to laugh, trying to give you a little peace with your joke that even though he's minutes older, he's still older, "it's okay, yeah? Me and you, fighting tooth and nail. This was the best gift I could've ever gotten, I love you, and I love the pack. This is okay." You reach behind him, fingers tangled into his hair, you pull him to you and kiss his forehead. "Don't let them blame themselves, and don't blame yourself," another kiss to his cheek, "I love you big brother."

Scott's memories with you flashes before his eyes as the color in yours goes out, how did we get here?

"Scott! You okay?" You look over his body for injuries, he hisses at you making contact with his torso. "Scott, what's wrong? Did you get bit by something too?" Scott's eyebrows raise, "What do you mean 'too'? Did you get bit?" You roll your eyes and turn around, shirt stained with blood, "Yeah, I managed to get away from the fucker while rolling down some hill, now let me see yours." You swat him away, lifting his shirt and taking a good look at the bite mark, "Okay, not too bad, you fix me up and I'll fix you up? Not a word to mom, got it?" Scott nods, walking with you into the house to take care of the bite marks.

Scott can't feel anything, surrounded by you, your lifeless body. His anger, no, pain, soars through him as his eyes glow, a roar deep within him. The only thing anyone in his pack can hear is the scream from Lydia's lips and the roar of pain from Scott.

Isaac barely notices the sound around him, only his own heartbeat in his ears as he listened to yours fade away.

"Isaac you fucking idiot!" You slapped Isaac on the back of the head, he looks at you with lost, glowing, puppy dog eyes, "Sorry, Y/n." His eyes dull to his normal brown and you frown, "You've gotta do better honey, you can't lose control like that, you'll kill someone and I know that's not what you want." Isaac sits on the metal bench in the locker room, head in his hands, "I don't know that I'll ever be able to."

You sigh, sitting next to him with your hand rubbing his back, "You will, just give it time, until then, you've gotta find something that works for you, something that prevents you from breaking someone fucking ribs Isaac." You voice becomes elevated again towards the end, irritated at Isaac's recklessness. "Yeah," he leans his head down to your shoulder, "I know firecracker."

Scott is blind to the feeling on his bloody hand, only noticing it when Allison's tears hit it. Allison brushes a hair out of your face, you looked peaceful, she's eternally grateful for you, for what you did for her tonight and what you've done for her up until this point.

"Allison, fuck," you huff, pulling yourself up from the ground, "let's do it again, I know that this isn't you, your aim is perfect, let it all go and focus on me okay?" She sighs, shaking the bow in her hand, "Maybe the fact that I could actually hurt you isn't helping." You're eye to eye with her, both hands on her face, eyes glowing, "No, you won't hurt me, I'm invincible remember?" She laughs, shaking her head, "Alright, last time." You grin ear to ear and took off running. Allison brings the bow up, listening to you run. She sees glimpses of you, through the trees, and the arrow is gone. She sighs, she didn't hit you, she's shouting at you "I told you! I can't do it!"

You touch her back, startling her, she lets out a small yelp and turns to you. Her eyes go wide when she sees the arrow sticking out of your shoulder. "Oh, Jesus Y/n," her bow drops and she's bringing her hands up to try and get it to stop bleeding. "Oh quit being a pussy and pull it out," you rolled your eyes, grabbing her wrist and bringing it to the arrow in your shoulder. "I'm so sorry I hit you-" she pulls it out and you let out a long groan, already feeling better with the object dislodged. "Don't be sorry, you hit me, let's do it again." Allisons eyes widen, if that's even possible, and shakes her head, "No, absolutely not." You laugh, "Lighten up buttercup, I'm invincible remember? And this time I'm not going easy." She scoffs at you, "Easy? Oh I see how it is, run little wolf, run." With that, you take off running, Allison laughing at your excitement.

Kira is frozen, she feels like she died, you were her best friend. Over anyone else, you'd been the first to accept her, the first to fight for her, the first one she'd confided in.

"Kira, what the hell are you saying?" You're sitting with your arms crossed at a picnic table, nose in your homework. "I-I know that we were friends first, so I was going to tell you first, before I said any-" You slam your hand one the table, "Kira, baby, spit it out, fuck." This is the you realize that Kira's scent holds fear and anxiety. "Kira, what's wrong?" You're more serious now, waiting for the bomb to drop that there's another fight to be had. "I like Scott, like like him, Jesus please don't be mad." You burst into full laughter, tears streaming from your eyes.

When you calm down Kira is staring at you, piddling with the strings on her sleeves. "Oh, my god," you laugh again, trying to calm yourself. "You're not mad?" You laugh harder, smacking the table a few times, "Jesus Christ no, I can't believe-" you stand up still laughing, hugging her. "I don't give a shit," rubbing her back, "you had nothing to worry about, as long as you don't get mad if I fuck your dad." Kira jerks back, shock on her face, "Y/n!" You laugh harder, "I'm fucking kidding, jeez," you sit back down, "fucking sit down and gush to me about my brother."

She shakes herself out of it when she feels her mother enclose her in a hug. Tears finally falling.

Lydia's scream has finally ended, and she's inconsolable. Memories flooding through her head as she lays her head on an unconscious Stiles.

"Lydia god dammit," you truck to the pool, "did you find another one?" You stop at the strong scent of blood, rushing to Lydia, Stiles right behind you. "Are you hurt?" Lydia shakes her head, staring at you, "I already called 911." Stiles looks hurt, arguing with Lydia over why she should call him before the police, but you push him to the side. "Heya honey," you wrap your arms around her waist, "it's okay, don't listen to Stiles grumpy ass, let's me and you go sit." You're not sure why you aren't phased by the body next to you, but you let Stiles do whatever he needs to do for Scott while you try and get Lydia's head back down to Earth.

"Hey Lyds, dontcha think you're a little overdressed to come to the pool?" She lets out a small chuckle and you relax a little, "This can't be my new normal, Y/n. Finding dead bodies? I can't take this." You hold her hand, sighing, "None of us asked for this Lydia, I'm so sorry. If you want I can stay with you for a few days, follow you if you zonk out again?" Lydia just nods, and she feels for the first time that you're as much her best friend as Allison.

Lydia can't stop crying, Scott is trying to get ahold of himself, Kira is crying with her mother, Isaac is breathless and in pain, and Allison is held by her father.

"She did it for me dad," Allison sobs, her father already made sure she wasn't hurt, "she did it for me and I don't know why." Chris shushes her, running his fingers through her hair, grateful for your sacrifice so his beautiful girl could live. "She did it because she loved you," Allison sobs harder, "I know sweet girl, but listen, we have to deal with this. You can cry, scream, break things later, but now? Now we get our stories straight." Allison nods, and her dad is off to Scott to prep him.

When Stiles finds out, it's like every cell in his body failed him. Scott caught him and pulled him into a hug, tears streaming down his face. "I know. I know brother." Stiles can't breathe, it's been a long time since he's had a panic attack, but here he is, without you, panicking.

"Stiles," you sigh, throwing a ball against his ceiling and back into your hand, sprawled out on his bed, "you've gotta stop." Stiles shakes his head, "No, no there is something here!" He tosses the books to the floor, you get off the bed, wrapping your arms around him from behind, "You'll find it but you're not going to without sleep. Come on." You tug him back to his bed, "Let's nap, and then we'll come back to all," you gesture to his board covered in multicolored string, "this." Stiles sighs heavily, letting you pull him to the bed. It's not the first time, and certainly wouldn't be the last, that you've convinced him to sleep. He crawls in next to you and you throw your arm open, allowing him to lay his head over your heart. He falls asleep to the lull of the thump thump thump.

Stiles shakes himself out of the memory, remembering that he'll never hear that beautiful sound again and vows to hold onto it. He lets out a pained, choked sob, "Scott-" Scotts arms are around him still, Scott can smell the guilt coming off of the small man, "Don't - It was not your fault Stiles. It wasn't anyone's fault." Scott lets Stiles cry, mourn his best friend, the woman he's come to love like his own sister. "Have you told Derek?" Scott sighs, Stiles already knows the answer.

When they get to Derek's place, Derek opens the door, already smelling them and their horribly displaced emotions. "What is it?" Scott lets himself in, Stiles following close behind him and he's checking for his little flame, and when you're nowhere to be found, his heart sinks. "Where's Y/n?" Derek can smell the grief coming off of Scott in waves, not missing the anger that hides beneath it. "Fuck, my little flame," his voice sounds broken, barely audible to the human boy who stares sorrowful at him.

"Derek Hale!" You kick the door open to home, "Derek Hale! Get your ass out here!" Derek almost materializes behind you, but you're just as quick as he is. "Derek Hale! I oughtta kill you, you son of a bitch!" You march to him, taking him off guard by your fist that collides into his face. He's knocked back a couple feet, staring at you with glowing eyes. Your eyes match his, "I am not afraid of your eyes, wolf boy! You turned three people!" Derek shrugs, "So what if I did?" You go for a second punch, this time caught by Derek, he can't smell a single ounce of fear, only fury.

"They knew what they were getting into," Derek lets go of your hand. "Oh, fuck you, Derek," you shove him back, "you can spin that stupid story to whoever you want, but you and I know better." Derek shrugs, "So what? They're better now, stronger, and they like it." You let out a deep growl, "Did you tell them about the death?" You step forward towards him, "Did you tell them how they'd be pulled into every murder in this town?" You shove him back again, following his step backwards, "Did you tell them of the pain? Did you? Of course not." Your hand grasps his chin, squeezing painfully with your claws out, making him look at you, "Hear me Derek Hale and hear me good. If anything," you squeezed him harder, bringing a hiss from him, "and I mean anything, happens to them, I will hurt you." You back away and head out of his house, stopping at his door, "And trust me, I'm a fire you can't put out." He laughs, watching you walk away, but mumbling just where you can barely hear, "I have a feeling I don't want to be burned by your flame."

A growl explodes from his lips, pain filling his entire being. You've been the glue that holds them all together, bringing them back from the brink again and again. How could they survive without you?

Months after your death, they've settled back into the groove of things, nothing ever feels the same without you though.

They talk about you all the time, Stiles has a tendency to try and calm people down like you did. Trying to help keep everyone grounded. He's nowhere near as good at it like you were, but he's trying. Allison keeps your memory around by never changing her lock screen, a picture of everyone in the pack resting on the screen she checks every five minutes. Isaac has found a new anchor, with Scott's help, using himself to be able to control the rage that flurries inside of him after your death. Lydia lives for adopting your fire, absolutely never keeping her mouth shut much to everyone's dismay, but it's a way to keep your image around. Kira has become closer to Allison and Lydia, but she knows they'll never replace you. They don't laugh at her like you did when she talks about Scott, and it's a painful memory. Derek's become much more involved with Scott's pack, dedicated to doing what he can for not fighting by your side the right you died, a debt he'll never repay. Scott finds his peace in his pack, but the hole in his heart for his sister will never fade, like the newly placed fire tattoo on his forearm will never fade.

They are all eternally grateful.

They all know it'll never be the same.

They all hate your sacrifice.

[just-a-really-tall-girl-tbh]

Waiting Room

Summary: Stiles is badly hurt, with only y/n to save him

Pairing: None in particular but sort of reader X Derek?

Warnings: Mentions of blood and fighting, also talk of hospital

Word count: 2188

Original piece please don’t copy :)

----------

Sitting in the hospital chair with your head in your hands you focused on your breathing.

In

Out

Flashes of claws plagued your vision, swiping before you.

In

Out

You scrunched your eyes hearing the piercing sound of your own scream, the eerie sound playing back in your mind, filling your head.

In

Out

You sat up leaning back against the plastic chair, rubbing your face up and down trying to regain some perspective. You stood up, unable to sit in those horrid chairs any longer and also wanting to be moving, anything to distract yourself.

Pacing back and forth in the hallway you consistently looked up at the closed doors in front of you.

‘SURGERY – Authorised personal only beyond this point’

The door stood still, you begged for it to open, for someone to come and tell you, they were okay, that they would survive. You needed something, anything to hold on to. Even false hope was still hope right?

Shaking your head, you sat back once again on the hospital chair.

***

“Y/N RUN” Stiles screamed.

You barely had a chance to face the boy before you were knocked to the ground, the cold floor welcoming your body. Whatever it was that knocked you was now headed towards stiles. You blinked a few times, trying to stop the world from spinning around you. You pulled yourself up against the lockers that lined the boys changing room. Wincing as you touched your forehead, your fingers instantly becoming coated in blood. You looked up and saw Stiles slowly backing away from a large figure, his arms up in defence. You could see his mouth moving, but the ringing in your ears prevented you from hearing Stiles’ pleas.

Eventually Stiles had retreated as far as the room would allow, feeling his back against the wall, his hands searched either side of him, a failed attempt at finding something to defend himself with.

The assailant’s hand was raised, his claws gleaming in the poorly lit locker room, and in one swift motion he had sliced Stiles’ stomach.

You screamed as his body slumped against the wall, the attacker simply left the room, disinterested in continuing the fight he thought was futile. Stiles’ torso began turning ruby red, the blood coating his middle in moments.

Scrambling to your feet you ran to him.

“Stiles? Hey, it’s okay I’m here I’m here” the words came out weaker than you intended. He looked up at you, his hands covering his stomach, a useless attempt at stopping the bleeding. You looked around the room, you needed to stop the bleeding. Grabbing a towel from a nearby bench you wrapped it and placed it on his abdomen, he grimaces at the sudden pressure.

“I’m sorry okay, I gotta stop the bleeding, just stay with me okay? Don’t you dare leave.” His slight head nod was all you needed to know he heard you.

“You gotta keep talking to me okay? I need another towel, and I’ll call an ambulance, or I’ll call Scott and we will get out of here okay?” You pleaded, trying to convince yourself it was going to be okay. You had seen injuries like this before and they always put pressure on the wound trying to stop the bleeding so that’s a good place to start. Your mind suddenly racing, scrambling to remember information they taught you in that stupid first aid course the school made everyone take. Logical and rational thinking was the only thing that would give Stiles a fighting chance. Placing Stiles’ hands over the now blood-soaked towel, you stood taking a deep breath, and began looking for more supplies.

“Talk to me Stiles, I need to hear you.”

“I don’t want to die at school.” He whispered.

“You’re not going to die; I won’t let you okay? Who else is going to tell me when I’m being dramatic or bring Scott and I into the woods at 1AM looking for a body? Who else is going to defend me even when I’m not there to defend myself? Who else is going to make me laugh when all I want to do is cry?” You finished your sentence as you kneeled next to Stiles, your arms filled with towels. Removing one you replaced it with two more, trying to stop the bleeding.

“You gotta tell my Dad, y/n”

“What? Tell your Dad what?” You were focused on his stomach, placing towel after towel anywhere you saw red.

“Tell him I love him okay?” Your breathing hitched in your throat and you looked up at the boy. His face was pale, more so than usual. His eyes lacked the spark that normally filled them.

“He knows Stiles. He knows.” Tears brimmed your eyes.

“You gotta tell him though okay? Promise me?”

“I promise, but you have to promise me something too.” He looked at you, unable to continue talking, allowing you to proceed. “You have to ask Lydia to the winter formal.”

His eyes widened, and mouth opened to object, no sound passed his lips.

“Come on Stiles, if- No- WHEN we get out of this, you have to do it.”

Stiles nodded as his eyes began to droop closed.

“No no no, you can’t Stiles come on.” You reached up to his face, your blood-soaked hands covering his cheeks with the liquid unintentionally. You shook his head and begged him to come back to you.

His breathing shallowed, only a whisper of air exchanging in his lungs.

The next few minutes were a blur. You had called an ambulance and then called Scott. Rode in the ambulance to the hospital and were told to wait outside while they wheeled Stiles into surgery. You stood at the entrance of the doors just staring, unable to move from your spot. Maybe if you didn’t move you would wake up from this horrible dream. Maybe if you didn’t move Stiles would walk out of there telling you it was all a mean joke. And so, you stood. Until a nurse came and asked about your head. You didn’t hear her the first few times she spoke to you, until she placed a hand on your shoulder, and you snapped out of your trance. Your face was wet from the tears you had no idea were even falling, too numb to feel anything other than helplessness.

The nurse walked you to a vacant bed, holding your arms and leading you away from the door you so desperately wanted to stand before. She cleaned your hands, the red painted sink yet another reminder of the events. She cleaned your wounds and stitched your forehead together before placing a bandage on your forehead. Her question didn’t register with you the first time, your eyes fixated on the wall ahead, the imagine of Stiles’ body permanently engraved in your mind.

“Sweetie?” You looked at the nurse. “Is there anyone I can call for you?” The sympathy evident in her eyes and tone of voice. Taking a few moments to answer you searched your mind for who you might want to call. Your parents were out of town on business, too busy with their jobs to worry about raising a child. Scott was already on his way, bringing Derek with him. The face of the sheriff came to the forefront of your mind. Feeling the guilt of having to tell him that his only son, his only child, was in a critical condition all because you wanted to sneak a copy of the test answers from Coaches desk, a fresh batch of tears lined your eyes.

“McCall.” You whispered. “Mellissa McCall.”

The nurse simply nodded and left the cubicle.

‘Mellissa McCall can you please report to emergency bay 3 please, Mellissa McCall to emergency bay 3’ the intercom speaker sounded through the hospital.

Moments later the privacy cloth dividing your bed from the emergency room was whipped open. Mellissa’s distraught face appeared behind it, she ran towards the bed, wrapping her arms around you and tightly holding as your body collapsed into hers.

“I tried Melissa, I tried but there was so much blood and it was everywhere-” you began

“Shhh it’s okay you did great okay?” she comforted.

“I can’t tell him. I can’t tell his Dad, I can’t.” You begged.

“Hey, we will do it together okay? I’m right here.” Melissa always had a way of soothing anyone. Maybe it was her motherly touch or the way her voice had a calming tone to it, but it always helped. Always. After a few minutes she pulled away, told you she was going to call the sheriff and ask him to come down, then she was going to go into the theatre to check on Stiles’ progress.

Leaving your cubicle, you sat on the chairs in front of the surgery. Your head hurt but it didn’t faze you. Losing your best friend was at the forefront of your mind and the thought of not having your cheeky sidekick beside you was too much to handle.

Quick footsteps sounded the halls and your heart raced. You weren’t ready to tell Sheriff Stilinski about his son. Looking up you were somewhat relieved to see Scott and Derek.

“Hey.” Scott said softly as you raised to your feet and were pulled into a tight hug. “Have you heard anything?” Shaking your head, you pulled away, not wanting to make eye contact with the werewolf Infront of you, too ashamed to see the distress on his face knowing you caused it.

Scott stepped back allowing Derek to hug you next. He didn’t let go when you tried to pull away after a few moments, knowing you needed to be held just a little longer. Sniffling, you pulled back, Derek allowing you to this time. His arms stayed wrapped around your waist, his hand comfortably placed on you hip.

Collectively everyone looked up at the sound of another person running towards you all. A worried sheriff Stilinski appeared at the end of the hall, sprinting towards you. Before he could ask where his boy was and what had happened, the surgery doors swung open, a gowned-up Melissa exiting the room. She removed her protective gear and took a deep breath. Derek pulled you closer, preparing for the news.

“He lost a lot of blood. Almost too much.” She looked towards the sheriff. “But that boy in there is as stubborn as anything. The doctors believe he will make it.” Everyone sighed in relief and Derek pulled you into his chest, closing his eyes in relief. You felt your knees go weak and let out a soft cry.

“Y/n, you saved him.” Melissa approached you. “If you weren’t with him, he wouldn’t be here.” You nodded into Derek’s chest, unwilling to separate knowing you would have to face your best friends Dad. Mellissa hugged Scott and then the sheriff, both thanking her for her help.

You felt a hand on your upper back, slowly pulling away from the safety of Derek’s chest you turned to face Noah. His eyes were soft, tears falling from them freely, he softly smiled before pulling you into his chest.

“I’m so sorry.” You whispered.

“Hey it’s okay, he’s okay, we’re okay.” He replied.

“I didn’t mean it I swear we didn’t know we weren’t alone.”

“Y/n stop” He paused, separating the two of you, holding you at arms distance and tilting his head down. “We just need him to recover okay? That’s what you need to focus on.”

Simply nodding you were pulled back into the arms of the sheriff. Looking over his shoulder your eyes connected with Scott’s, his worried expression was replaced with one of anger. Eventually the Sheriff needed to sign some paperwork at the front desk, or maybe Melissa just sensed you guys needed a minute. Either way you were grateful for the opportunity to be able to explain the events to the boys.

“Well?” Scott looked at you expectantly. You sighed and looked at your feet.

“We wanted the answers to Tuesday’s test, neither of us had time to study so we figured we would find the answer key in coaches’ desk and borrow it.” Scott rolled his eyes and breathed out heavily, his mannerisms dripping with disapproval. Derek could only watch on as you continued to explain yourself. “When we got there, Stiles said he thought we weren’t alone, I thought he was just trying to scare me. We got to the boy’s locker room and were about to head into coaches’ office when Stiles yelled at me to run. Everything else is just a blur.” Finally looking up and meeting Scott’s eyeline you saw him deep in thought, the stress of the night’s events, evident in every inch of his face. “Scott?”

“I’m thinking.” He was short.

“There’s one more thing.” He looked towards you, ready to be annoyed with whatever you were about to say next. “Whatever attacked stiles, it had claws.” His eyes widened and looked towards Derek who looked like he had just made the same connection as Scott.

“There’s another werewolf in Beacon hills.”

[violetarks]

Hello!! I saw you were asking for fictif requests and was wondering if you haven't already, may I have some general fluffy headcanons for Felix? I hope you have a wonderful day💕

General Fluff Headcanons

Game: Fictif

Character: Felix Iskander Escellun

Most definitely craves physical contact

But its that kind of thing where he thinks the more he desires it and stares at you, the more of a chance the universe will tell you to walk over and hug him

It takes you a while until you turn your head, bc you feel like someone is burning holes into your head :))

But all you see is felix flipping the page of his book

Felix: "is something wrong?"

You: "do you... need something?"

Felix: "pardon? no, i dont need anything."

But you know better

He's blushing, embarrassed that you caught him or nearly did

And you can see it as he adjusts his glasses, clearing his throat

Anyway, you do hold his hand, hug and kiss him if he feels comfortable

You hold his hand through portals and in market, bc he doesnt want to be separated from you

Kissing him in public is fORBiddEN bc he'll get all flustered and not be able to function right, resulting in glaring your way and pouting

Hugging him is okay, as long as you dont see his face, so youre usually hugging from behind or digging your face into his shoulder

Speaking if which, it takes a while for him to get used to it all

The first time you grabbed his hand out of the blue, he jolted and squeezed your hand really hard, making you pull away

He apologised over and over again as anisa looked over your hand to check for any injuries (none)

Anisa only did that bc of how much felix was overreacting

He felt so bad that he avoided you for some time

After that, you walked up to him and held his hand again, just casually and this time he didnt freak out, just staring at you

Love :)))

Calls you darling or dear, bc he's old timey like that

But that only happens every once in a while

He'll be distracted or so relaxed that he doesn't notice, but everyone else does

First time, went like

Felix: "love, are you finished with my spellbook?"

You: "i... uh..."

Anisa: "what did you say, felix?"

Felix: "hm? I asked about the spellbook y/n borrowed from me."

Sage: "oh my goodness, you're so bold, felix. i supposed youre different behind closed doors, huh?"

He's so confused??

And you just hand him the book and dont talk about it until after dinner

He's blushing wildly before announcing his return to bed and hiding under the covers

His sarcasm is limited to sage and anisa, and only sometimes you

Bc he usually uses his sarcasm to show how annoyed he was

But with you, its more or a joking matter

Sage gets sad bc you get some privileges over him :((

You two do get up to some mischief tho

Like you both go ahead and make felix blush owo

But sage once convinced you to steal felix's giant coat, and you two ran around the building just playing around

Anisa and felix found you two on top of on of the highest balconies, trying to see if sage's spell for making objects levitate would work on just felix's jacket

Felix: "what do you think you two are doing???"

You, standing on top of the railing as Sage is about to push you off with only Felix's coat above your head like a blanket: "nothing"

Felix then cast a spell where sage becomes invisible to you and you cohldnt hear him at all

Anisa told felix to rake the spell away since sage was weeping in the corner

Sleepy felix :(((

He's at his desk and doing stuff when he falls asleep

You either drag him to bed or pull up a chair to sleep next to him

Although he is a night owl, he goes three days without sleeping and passes out for nine hours

Felix likes to sit next to you at dinner

Sometimes you use your magic to prank or tease felix

But it really never works since he's taught you all you know

He'll be looking for his spellbook and then sigh,, looking your way and just raising a brow

Felix: "drop it this instant, my darling."

You: "fiiiiiine..."

The book drops from the ceiling, right into his palm

Another thing

Felix feels the need to return the gestures

So he will kiss you on your forehead when you get giddy for completing your spell just right

And then look away hastily

Or he'll grab your hand and pull you away when youre about to bump into something

And he just wont let go

Sleeps next to you and once he knows youre asleep for sure, he kisses your palm or kisses your cheek

There are times when he doesnt know what to do

Like when youre upset

Maybe you felt extra sad this morning, or you were feeling homesick, or just not that great at all

Felix does not know how to deal with other people's emotions

The best you'll get is

Felix: "are you feeling well, my dear?"

You: "oh, yeah. i'm fine, felix."

Felix: "alright."

And he's screaming inside bc he cant ask you again now, he's embarrassed to

He knows for sure that something is dead wrong when you go to bed

Maybe your grip on him is too loose, or youre not holding him at all

And he's just thinking about what he can do

Sometimes you start crying and felix cant take it anymore

He turns around and digs his face into your shoulder, arms around your torso and pulling you close

He's holding you so tight that he thinks you'll break if he lets go

You slowly hug him back, crying into his hair

Felix: "... i dont know of what has happened, but you are free to tell me whatever it is that is bothering you, my darling. i... i can help, in some way..."

You: "thanks, felix. i appreciate it."

N e way :))

The most common thing to happen between you two is probably for felix to brush against you a lot

He's trying not to be suspicious so you dont see it, but its when he doesnt watch where he's going that he messed up

Felix, hitting his hip on the corner of the table in an attempt to step closer to you: "my lord, oh my goodness..."

You: "felix, you can just ask me to stand next to you."

Felix: "... i dont know what youre talking about."

Out of everyone in the group, he probably trusts anisa to take care of you the best when he's away

Sage and you almost always get into trouble and he can not handle the energy you two bring out to open

Anisa keeps you contained and helps felix feel at ease bc she can definitely beat a bitch or two

Felix likes having your head on his lap when he's reading

Its one of the only ways you can be close together like this once someone is busy

He's running fingers through your hair and up and down your arm, other hand holding his book as he reads through it

Felix: "are you already asleep, my darling?"

When you don't respond

Felix: "I love you..."

...

You: "I love you too, Felix"

Felix: "i knew it"

You play with his glasses sometimes

He'll be looking for another book or something and you steal his glasses from his desk and just play with them

Or if they're around his neck and you're sitting in front of him

You'll tug him from the chain of his glasses to give him a quick kiss

He burns red and then pulls his glasses on to continue reading

Wrapping your arms around his torso makes him putty in your hands

He immediately leans into you

Kiss him when he's annoyed

Just a quick smooch on his cheek

He' calm down and just dig his head into his hands

You're so warm and so kind to him

He feels like he doesnt deserve it but you assure him that he does, he deserves the world :))

[dumdumsun]

Of Starlight

A/N: Enjoy ❤️

Warnings: mentions of blood

Word Count: 3411

—————————————

Chapter 9: Number Five

Embers descended from the angry orange, grey and black sky as two figures walked down what used to be a road. Five, now in warmer clothing, was one of these figures. As he walked, he pulled a wagon with Delores and a single umbrella in it. Beside him was the clone (Y/N) had sent after him months ago. Due to its lack of humanity, it wasn’t much for conversation. Five learned that if he spoke loud enough, it would turn its attention to him and watch his movements closely, searching for a threat to take out. But if there was none and Five didn’t continue speaking, it would simply turn away and stare forward until it was needed. It wasn’t completely useless, though. If he needed help lifting heavy objects, nursing a wound, or any of the sorts, it was there in the blink of an eye. In the beginning, he would try to shove the clone away to do it himself, but that would trigger its defense and Five would end up getting shoved back. The clone was much stronger than him and he got irritated with its retaliation, so he eventually let it do whatever it pleased. After all, this is what (Y/N) wanted. For him not to struggle by himself, even though she had no idea what he would get himself into. She just didn’t want him to be alone in it. That thought swept a feeling of comfort in him towards the clone and with time, he began looking after it as well.

While he knew it couldn’t necessarily choke on the smoke around them, he still tried his best to cover its face like he did for his own. One day, he sat it down on a turned-over car and held up the cloth, slowly moving it closer to its face. The clone’s eyes stayed trained on the cloth, and when it almost touched its skin, it pushed Five’s hands away. Tutting, the boy tried again, but was met with a hard shove. The force of it caused him to stumble and fall down on his rear. Sensing that he might have been hurt, the clone jumped off the car and knelt down beside Five, checking him for any wounds. He let it rest its hands on his shoulders, creating an opening. Deeply inhaling, he lunged forward with the cloth and tackled the clone to the ground, securing it around its mouth. The clone wrestled with Five and they ended up rolling over several times, but when they stopped, it started landing hard punches on his shoulders and arms. Five let out a series of “ow’s” and “ouches” and “stops” before he was able to tie the ends of the cloth behind its head. He shoved the clone away and it fell onto its back, staring up at the grey sky. Five stood to his feet and walked closer, standing over the clone. It’s (e/c) eyes shifted to Five, narrowing them to focus on his face before getting to its feet as well and standing by his side. As if nothing had just happened. With a small smile that was covered by his own cloth, Five turned to his mannequin companion. “Told you I could do it.”

As a year passed, Five noticed that the clone wasn’t functioning as well as it used to. It was just a tad bit slower in reacting and slightly swayed on its feet when it walked. Noticing this one day, Five stopped pulling his wagon and gently pulled the clone over, shifting some things out of the way so it could sit across from Delores. The clone let him pull it to the edge of the wagon and assist it in lifting its leg. Getting the gist of what he was doing, it moved to sit down, pushing Delores out to make more room for itself. “No! Don’t do that!” Five rushed over to the mannequin and picked her up, setting her across from the clone. “Don’t… Don’t do that. Please.” He whispered, expecting the blank stare it gave him. With a heavy sigh, he began pulling the wagon again.

Another day, the clone had done a lot of stopping in its tracks and observing the area around them like it didn’t know where it was or why it was there. Actually worried, Five sat it down on some debris and searched for any possible wounds, but there were none. Its eyes scanned his face, also in search of wounds. When they locked eyes, he couldn’t help but admire its beauty. It was (Y/N)’s lookalike, after all. He always believed she was absolutely breathtaking, was always rendered speechless by her smile, that even the neutral expression on her clone’s face sent a slight blush across his cheeks. “I know you’re not her… but it doesn’t help that you look exactly like her.” He gently cupped its cheek and leaned closer. Stiffening, the clone’s hand met Five’s face in a hard slap. “Ah! What the hell?!” His hand reached up and gently rubbed his cheek. He glared at the clone, who only stared at him with wide eyes, still riled up from what it thought was an attack. Sighing, Five turned away and buried his face into his hands.

The day he wasn’t prepared for was the day the clone had spoken to him. He had been pulling it and Delores around in the wagon for a few hours. Stopping to take a break, he glanced over his shoulder to see the clone squinting at him. Confused, he furrowed his brows. “What?”

“Five?” It whispered, the sound of (Y/N)’s voice startling him so bad that he dropped the handle of the wagon. He stared at it, visibly shaking. He went to speak again, but the clone went back to its neutral expression and stared forward. Hours later, the two were now walking side-by-side, the clone staggering and stumbling around. He worriedly glanced over at it.

“Get in the wagon,” He reached over and grabbed its arm. “Come on, let’s get in the wagon, Starlight. Please.” He pleaded, a slight waver in his voice. The clone ripped its arm from his grasp before collapsing to the ground, unmoving, eyes closed. Five was frozen in place, just staring. His gaze was soft, then broken, then it hardened. With a deep inhale, he picked up the limp clone and placed it in the wagon, continuing on his course.

-------------------------------------------------

The passengers on the bus made sure to sit away from the distressed teenager who was breathing very heavily, its fingernails digging into its pants as it shook its head wildly. The clone was sure to tear itself apart if neither (Y/N) or Klaus came back soon to give it a purpose. The man who sat a little ways away from the clone tried his best to keep his eyes on his newspaper, shifting nervously in his seat. Just as he had gotten comfortable, a whoosh and a zap caused his paper to fly out of his hands. This caught the attention of the clone, who looked over to see Klaus. Only this time, the man was different. He wore baggy and torn clothing, his skin and hair was dirty, and he had a chain around his neck. His gaze was distant and haunted as his bloody hands loosely clenched the briefcase he had left with. Upon his arrival, the clone visibly relaxed and scooted a little closer to him, folding its hands into its lap. As if it wasn’t just self-destructing. Taking a shaky breath, Klaus shut his eyes and began to silently cry.

When the bus came to a stop, Klaus stumbled out with the clone right behind him. He scanned his surroundings before glancing down at the briefcase. Overwhelmed by a plethora of negative emotions, he slammed the case against a nearby bench repeatedly before throwing it far away, a broken scream leaving his mouth. The clone didn’t even flinch as the briefcase went up in flames behind it, only watching as Klaus crumpled to the ground and sobbed to himself. As the clone walked closer, he swatted his hand towards it angrily. “Get the hell away from me! Just… get away…” But it remained, awaiting Klaus’s next movements.

-------------------------------------------------

(Y/N)’s steady footsteps echoed throughout the hallway of the Academy as she lazily strolled around, hoping to find Five somewhere in the house. Coming to a stop near Klaus’s room she looked down the hall to see her clone standing in front of the closed bathroom door. Her breath hitching, she rushed over to it. The clone turned to her and allowed them to touch foreheads. (Y/N)’s body shook as images of everything the clone saw while with Klaus flashed through her head. When there was nothing left, she backed up and stared at the clone with teary eyes. “Y-You guys were separated… Where did he go…?” She whispered. Receiving no answer, she hummed her tune and watched as the clone disappeared into shadows. Not too long afterwards, the bathroom door opened and out walked Klaus. He glanced over at (Y/N) and rolled his eyes.

“Jesus, when are you gonna go away?”

“Klaus it’s me… I-It’s (Y/N). I just dismissed the clone,” She softly spoke as tears fell down her face. But she didn’t get much of a response from her brother. He only turned away and trudged to his bedroom, leaving bloody footprints in his wake. (Y/N) silently followed. “You can talk to me about it. I-I was able to view my clone’s memories without me being there. I-I don’t know how, but-”

“So, you knew what was going on with me?” He quietly asked as he began to get dressed. (Y/N) averted her eyes to the ground. “You knew those assholes had me and didn’t think to come and get me?”

“No, Klaus, it wasn’t like that! I-I was trying to get help, I had no idea where you were… So much shit was going on and I just wanted to help you… Please,” She looked up, seeing that he now had pants on. She walked into his room and leaned against the doorframe. “Talk to me about it… I won’t talk, I’ll just listen…” She trailed off as her brother glanced up at her.

In between the events of her wedding and Reginald’s death, the two had only seen each other once. Two days after Anthony’s funeral, Klaus had randomly showed up at her doorstep, offering his condolences and a warm hug. (Y/N) had gladly welcomed him into her house and soon after, she was crying into his chest for almost an hour straight as he gently rubbed her back. All (Y/N) ever wanted to do was comfort and care for those she loved. This situation was not her fault, and Klaus knew he couldn’t hold a grudge against her. So, letting out a breath, he explained what happened after he escaped Hazel and Cha-Cha. The briefcase, the war, Dave. (Y/N) only stood before him and listened. She allowed him his time to pause and get himself together before moving on. It’s just as he did for her. When he finished speaking, he wiped what few tears he had left on his face. (Y/N) swallowed the lump in her throat as she carefully approached him. Just when she was at his side, a few soft knocks sounded against his door. The two turned to see Five, a soft look in his eyes. “There you are, (Y/N). Klaus, you okay?”

“Yeah, I just… Long night.” Klaus answered and he pulled a shirt on. Five lightly chuckled.

“More than one, from the looks of it. Don’t remember the dog tags.”

“Yeah, they belonged to a friend.” He slowly responded as he gently fiddled with the tags around his neck.

“How about that new tattoo?”

“Okay, Five, that's enough questions,” (Y/N) sighed. “Like he said, it was a long night.” As Klaus walked over to his bed, a sly smirk crept onto Five’s face.

“You did it, didn’t you?”

“What are you talkin’ about?” Klaus lowered himself onto his bed. Five walked further into the bedroom, (Y/N) intently watching him.

“You know, I can recognize the symptoms, Klaus.”

“Symptoms of what?”

“The jet lag. Full body itch. The headache that feels like someone shoved a box of cotton up into your nose and through your brain. (Y/N) told me that the guys from last night might’ve taken you… You took their briefcase, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Klaus blinked as (Y/N) sat beside him on the bed, glaring up at Five. This was about the worst time to ask Klaus about this. “I thought there was money in it, or I could pawn it, you know… whatever… Then I opened it…”

“The next thing you knew you were, where?” Five stopped his pacing. “Or should I say when?”

“What difference does it make?” Klaus sighed, clearly tired of this conversation.

“What diff-” Five cut himself off and sighed. “Okay, how long were you gone?”

Klaus glanced over at his sister, who gently rubbed his shoulder. “Almost a year.”

“A year?” Five’s brows rose. “Do you know what this means?”

“Yeah,” Klaus bitterly smiled. “I’m ten months older now-”

“No, this isn’t any sort of joke, Klaus. Hazel and Cha-Cha will do whatever they can to get the briefcase… Where is it now?”

“Gone. I destroyed it.” Klaus made an exploding gesture with his hand as Five’s face slowly morphed into irritated anger.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

“Five, stop.” (Y/N) finally intervened and stood between them. Klaus peeked around her with a glare directed towards the boy.

“What do you care?”

“What do I care? I needed it, you moron-”

“Just stop it, Five!” The girl shouted at said boy. “Jesus, can you get off his ass?!” She fumed as Klaus walked out of the room. Shaking her head at Five, she followed her brother. “Klaus. Klaus, wait.”

“I’m… I’m fine, (Y/N),” He turned to his sister. “Look, thanks for listening… and for sticking up for me, but… I need to go somewhere.” Without any other explanation, Klaus took off. (Y/N) sighed and went back to Five, who was no longer in their brother’s room. Moving to his, she saw that he was writing on his wall with chalk. Shaking her head, she walked inside and flopped onto his bed. Five spared her a side glance.

“You done being mad at me?”

“You done being an asshole?”

“What are you even defending him for?” He turned his body towards her, his writing coming to a stop. “That briefcase could’ve made this process a whole lot easier.”

“Because, Five, Klaus went through hell when he travelled through time! He’s fucking traumatized! He lost someone he was… so in love with… And I know that feeling too well. You interrogating him like that really pissed me off…” Her head rested against his pillow as she stared off into space. Five’s expression was unreadable.

“Who’d you lose…?” He whispered before going back to writing. Turning her back to him, she shut her eyes.

“His name was Anthony… We were married for six years,” (Y/N) was so used to talking about his death that she didn’t cry as easily as she used to. “He died two years ago… Fucking car accident.” Her voice was laced with more of a bitter tone than that of sorrowful. Five sighed and shook his head.

“I-I had no idea…”

“Yeah, I don’t like to talk about it…” And so, they didn’t, and maybe that was a sign of her moving on. Hell if she knew. The two stayed in what eventually eased into a comfortable silence, save for the chalk hitting against the walls of the room as he moved around. He ended up standing on his bed above (Y/N), his brows raising as he slowed.

“Oh. Okay, I think I’ve got something, Starlight.”

“Oh?” She lifted her head up slightly.

“It’s tenuous, but promising.”

(Y/N) looked up to see Luther entering the bedroom. His eyes scanned the chalk-covered walls. “What is all this?”

“A probability map.” Five shortly answered.

“Probability of what?”

“Of whose death could save the world. I narrowed it down to four.”

“Are you saying one of these four people causes the apocalypse?” Luther asked as (Y/N) stood at Five’s side, trying to make sense of what he had worked out, but drawing up a blank. Still, it was mesmerizing.

“Well… not cause it, right?” She glanced to Five. “It would just… like, maybe prevent it?”

“Exactly. Time is fickle, Luther. The slightest alteration in events can lead to massively different outcomes in the time continuum.”

“Oh, the butterfly effect!” (Y/N) snapped her fingers, Luther nodding in what she hoped was understanding. Five proudly smiled at her before turning back to his work.

“Right again. So all I have to do is find the people with the greatest probability of impacting the timeline, wherever they may be, and kill them.” He hopped off the bed to retrieve Vanya’s book he had been writing in as Luther walked around the bed to get a closer look at the names.

“Milton Greene… So who’s he, a terrorist or something?”

“I believe he is a gardener.” Five squinted up at the name. Luther and (Y/N) both turned to him with wide eyes.

“Whoa, I thought these people were, like, murderers or something.” The girl frowned. Luther nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, Five, this is madness- Where’d you get that?” He referred to the gun the boy had just pulled out from beside his bed.

“In Dad’s room. I think he used it to shoot a rhinoceros,” He took the gun out of the bag and cocked it. “It’s similar to the model I used at work. Nice shoulder fit and highly reliable.”

“Five, this doesn’t feel right,” (Y/N) sat down on the bed. “There has to be another way.”

Five’s head jerked up to her. “I had another way, (Y/N), and Klaus destroyed it. I’m doing what I have to.”

“But this man, Milton, is just an innocent man!” Luther tried to reason with his brother, but he wasn’t convinced.

“It’s simple math. His death could potentially save the lives of billions. If I did nothing, he’d be dead in four days, anyway-”

“Five, come on, you’re not doing this.” (Y/N) went to grab his arm, but he stepped away.

“You wanna help me, right? Let me do this. You’re not stopping me, neither of you.” As he began to walk out, Luther looked towards Delores. (Y/N) knew right then that he was going to use her to stop Five, but she also knew it would turn chaotic. She went to advise that it wouldn’t be a good idea, but he’d already picked up the mannequin and held her out of the window. Seeing this, Five immediately pointed the gun at Luther, a lethal expression on his face. “Put… her… down.”

“Put the gun down. You’re not killing anyone today. I know she’s important to you, so don’t make me do this.”

“Come on, Five,” (Y/N) urged and slowly got off the bed. “Put the gun down, we’ll figure out another way.” The boy’s eyes frantically flicked from her to Delores. He lowered the gun in the slightest, but still had it trained on Luther. After a few seconds, Luther tossed Delores out the window. But before she could fall, Five dropped the gun and blinked to catch her. (Y/N) got to the gun before Luther did and picked it up.

“I can keep doing this all day.” Luther falsely smiled, taking the gun from his sister. She watched as Five slowly sat on his bed, cradling Delores in his arms and giving her the softest look (Y/N) had seen on him in awhile. And just like that, she was jealous yet again. “I know you’re still a good person, Five. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have risked everything coming back here to save us all.”

“But you aren’t alone anymore. I keep telling you that.” (Y/N) walked closer to the boy, along with Luther. Five sighed through his nose and turned, locking eyes with her, both filled with determination.

“There is one way.”

—————————————

Taglist: @melinda-hargreeves @43sparrows @sapphicsyn @m00n-sh @starcurrent @alexander-hamilhoe @youcandalekmyballs @wonderlandfandomkingdom @yrdadjstcallsmekatya @narikyuwu @sm0kingcrack @give-the-boy-a-hug

[baby-bearie]

pretending like it’s real

(not my gif)

jj maybank x reader, a little platonic john b x reader 

tags: @sunflowermotel @maybe-maybanks @katie-avery @howdyherron @yelyahryan @obxwriterfan

a/n: yeah i know i need to stop writing fics at 2 am but i do my best at night. i’ve been throwing fluff at you, so this one is 2k of ANGST. i also wrote this in the dark, so i apologize for any mistakes i didn’t catch. 

warnings: swearing, death, guns, gun violence

He’s right next to you. 

He’s laying right next to you, soft snores are tumbling out from his lips and into your skin, and his arm is thrown over your stomach.

So why does he feel so far away? Why are you crying? After so many nights of this, why are you so surprised that you can cry yourself to sleep when he’s right there. Why are you so surprised he doesn’t notice?

As your cheeks grow wetter and wetter you make no motion to wipe them. You can’t risk waking him up. He’ll ask questions, and it’ll all be over. No more nights with him. Crying or not. 

You can’t risk that. You’ll take pretending like it’s real, pretending like he’s really yours over facing the fact that he never has been. 

You’ll take laying on John B’s couch with him, even if he doesn’t look at you once. Even if he’s always looking at her. 

You’ll take the hugs and the kisses, you’ll take the late night visits, you’ll take the pet names, you’ll take all of it, even though for him, he’s giving it to her. 

You know he is. You know that when he kisses you he’s thinking of her. You know that everytime he calls you baby, he wishes he was saying it to her. 

You know that even when he’s sleeping next to you, he’ll dream of her. 

And as you look at him tonight, you know. You can keep pretending, but only if he keeps dreaming of her. 

And so you do. You let yourself keep pretending like he’s yours and like this has always been what you want it to be. He’s in love with you. You pretend he’s in love with you.

And  you have every intent to keep on pretending, but apparently not everyone got that memo. 

According to John B, ‘this is unhealthy for you’. According to John B, you need to be ‘let go’, because JJ has ‘obviously no feelings for you’. 

At least that’s what you hear standing a few feet away from the heated whispering inside the Chateau. 

John is trying to protect you. He is, he knows that you are fully in love with JJ. He knows you would live and die for him. And he also knows JJ would live and die for her. He says, ‘it’s unfair to you’. 

You look to the skies, in a last ditch, a last attempt at hope that JJ will fight for you. He’ll tell John B how wrong he is, how he loves you, how the past 10 months have meant something to him, and you can stop hoping you were a little bit more than a replacement.

But,  oh, how wrong you are.

There’s 5 seconds of silence that feels like eternity.

“Dude, she doesn’t love me. Y/n does.”

And your heart shatters. 

You swear you can hear it break like glass, and you feel the tiny fragments pierce your lungs, your ribs, you swear you feel the broken glass embed into you. 

You break outside the Chateau where he kissed you for the first time as you listen to him tell John that she’ll never be in love with him, but you still are. 

And if he can’t have her, he might as well have you.

“Beats being alone.”

You cover your ears. You can’t hear anymore of this. The more he keeps talking, the harder and harder it gets to pretend this is still real. The more and more you have to face that it never will be. 

And when that hits you, you can’t stop the wail that pours out of you as you sink to the ground. Your sobs are heavy and loud, and you know the boys are coming outside, and you don’t care. 

Let him come. Let him see the damage he’s done. 

Let him see how he broke you. 

“Y/n? Baby, are you alright?” JJ’s face is panicked, and you know it’s not because you’re hyperventilating. He’s scared you heard him. 

He crouches down and reaches out to touch you, and you scream. You scramble away from him. 

“Don’t touch me! You don’t touch me!” His face falls, but you don’t even see it. You can’t look at him. 

“Y/n,” his voice starts. 

“No, don’t fucking come near me! I was,” you’re panting now, gasping for air, “ I was nothing, wasn’t I? I was her placeholder, wasn’t I?” 

He’s silent. 

“You only liked me because I could be her for you. You could- you pretended like I was her? Is that it? Please, JJ, tell me it’s not. Fucking lie to me, tell me it’s not! You can keep pretending I’m her. Please, JJ, I can keep pretending it was real.”

He’s silent. He’s silent and it hurts worse than anything he could’ve had to say. 

You crawl over to the end of the patio, and you throw up into the bushes. John B rushes to your side, and you let him. He’s not JJ. 

He helps you up, onto your feet, and you clutch onto him. You sob into his shoulder, as JJ stands helplessly watching. He doesn’t know what to say. 

He knows nothing he says will fix this. 

You turn, and you run. You can hear John B yelling for you, and before they’re out of ear shot, you hear a loud thud, and he’s shoved JJ down. 

 You run back to your home, and you rip the sheets off the bed. You can’t sleep in them anymore. 

You sleep on a bare mattress that night, but for the first night in weeks, you sleep. 

And you sleep the day after and the day after that. 

And you recover. Bit by bit, with your friends by your side, you get off the mattress. They shove food into you, they get you to shower, and after a good month of recovery, they manage to force you into a swimsuit and out onto the marsh. And it feels good. 

Nobody will tell you how JJ is. You don’t want to see him, you’re not ready, but you want them to tell you he’s okay. You beg them to just tell you he is, but nobody will. They just avoid the question. 

You know he’s not with her. He’s not with her because she’s with you. She helps you recover, like the amazing friend she’s always been, and for that, you’ll never be able to blame her at all. 

2 months after the last time you saw JJ, you and John are going to a kegger out in the Boneyard. The other two agree to meet you there, and after a few minutes of making sure you’re okay and switching out your beer for a soda, which makes you groan, John B leaves you. 

You wander off to find a friend, but you don’t come across any of them. You find someone to talk to, and have settled down with another “soda” when you hear shouting. It’s Pope’s voice, and you can hear John B too. You excuse yourself from the boy you were talking to, and you follow the sound of their voices into the middle of a crowd of people, you break out into the front of the crowd. 

You recognize the cap on the ground in front of you immediately, and panicking, look up at the two boys throwing punches at each other. 

You can already tell from the back who it is, and you’re frozen in your spot. 

He grabs something that’s in the other boy’s hands, and they struggle over whatever is between them.

You can see the other boy’s face now, and under a few bruises you recognize Rafe Cameron. 

You’re frantic, panicking, but you don’t know what to do, so, you scream for him to stop. 

John B catches your eye as you shout, and his eyes widen. 

“Y/n, get out of here!” He shouts. 

You have no clue how JJ heard it over the uproar of the crowd, but he looks at John B, and following his gaze, he pivots to look at you. 

It’s so much worse than you could’ve ever hoped. 

His eyes are sunken and bruised, he looks like he hasn’t slept in days, and hasn’t been drinking anything other than beer. He freezes when he sees you, and his mouth parts. You’re sure you look the same. 

However, he’s pivoted Rafe towards you too, and a shout from someone near you alerts you to the fact that the dark object they’re fighting over is a gun. 

Your eyes widen, and you hear your friends screaming to get out of the way, but he’s still looking at you, and it’s rooting you to the spot. 

There’s a bang, and all of a sudden you feel like you’ve been dunked in freezing cold water. Everybody’s voices are coming through to you as if you’re underwater. 

You’re still looking at him, but something’s different. 

JJ’s screaming now too, Rafe is running. Everybody’s running. 

Why are they all running?

JJ’s running too, but towards you. All of your friends are too. They’re not looking at your eyes. They’re looking at your stomach. When did it get so hot? You look down, and your eyes widen at the blood spread all over your abdomen. 

You touch your hand to your stomach and when it comes away, it’s covered in red blood. Your knees buckle under you, and you fall. 

JJ reaches you just in time, catching your head on his lap. 

His shaky hands hover over you, scared to touch you, to move you. 

Pope is screaming for help. John is right next to you, he’s shouting your name. All of them look like they’re crying. You look back at your stomach and you take a deep breath. 

It hurts. You can’t get the breath in. You look up at JJ, then at John B. 

“This is it, isn’t it?”

“Stop it, why would you say that, you’re gonna be okay,” John forces out.

“JJ,” you look up at him. “Y/n, please, keep your eyes open, you’re gonna be okay,” he sobs out. 

“JJ,” you stop him, and a shivering hand reaches up to brush the hair falling up behind his ear. 

His tears are falling on your cheeks. 

“JJ, listen, I’m gonna be fine, okay?’ 

JJ nods. 

“I’m gonna go soon, but that is not your fault, JJ.”

“I did this to you, Y/n.”

“No, JJ, you didn’t. I’m gonna go soon, but I’m gonna be okay. I’m gonna be perfectly alright wherever I go, so you don’t need to worry that you hurt me.” 

“Stop it, Y/n, Pope is getting help and you’re gonna stay with me.” 

“No, J, I don’t get to- I don’t get to be here anymore. Okay? I have to leave.” 

JJ clutches onto your hand that cups his cheek, he’s shaking his head quickly.

You look back at John B.

“You, you take care of them. Pope needs that scholarship, alright, I don’t want you idiots convincing him to do some bullshit and give that up,” you laugh a little and wince at how it makes your stomach hurt. 

“You can watch him get that scholarship yourself.” 

“Please, John B, take care of them.” 

He nods, unable to speak. “Promise me, please.” “I promise. I promise, Y/n.”

You look back at JJ. 

“Keep your eyes open, Y/n.”

“They’re not gonna get here in time, J. Promise me you’re gonna be okay.” You can barely keep your eyes open, as you gasp for breath. He shakes his head. “Promise me, JJ.” 

“I promise. I’m sorry, Y/n, I’m so sorry.”

“I know. I know you are. I’m just glad I got to see you again.”

And with the two promises that your friends are taken care of, you let yourself drift off. You were already so tired. 

JJ shakes you once, twice. John B punches into the sand next to you and screams. 

JJ is gasping for breath, staring down at you lying in his lap like you used to on John B’s couch. 

Oh, what he’d give to pretend this wasn’t real. 

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Touch starved/ hurt reader - hcs or scenarios the turtles? Reader super cool regarding friendship, like funny and open etc etc, but if someone tries to do anything that implies a bit more regarding romantic stuff they are kinda like oop- no. Reader is kinda jumpy and just freezes when someone’s they like does any kind of affection ( blushes a lot, try to run away and avoid those situations) people have taken them for granted which has make them a bit cold and defensive in that area- they want to be more affectionate ( which they know deep down it’s what they crave) but it’s kinda they are a scared / angry cat? Please, hope this makes sense, thank you

( also regarding looks and gender I think you can go with they/them so everyone can see a look but if themselfs in the scenario, and if you are going to any kind of skin ship, make the reader extremely defensive over their arms and tummy pls, I do love hugs but if anyone touches my hips I’ll try to get away so fast omg sbbtjfjdkdksn and I will just close off momentarily, I absolutely hate it, I’m more on the heavy side ( talk and chubby ) and if anyone’s touches the “giggly” parts I get extremely upset ( because of how ppl havemade fun of it over the years) and I think the boys would be very “??? What?” To that reaction cuz they didn’t think it was some thing bad to have? ( like a more soft and chunky/chubby body) because they haven’t been exposed long enough to society’s judgment or beauty standards ( I mean they know about! The ones who would have read more about it maybe it’s Leo and Donnie, but what I mean maybe they have never experienced something like this - themselfs irl) Eitherway this ask is already so long omg I’m sorry and thank you, if it’s too much you don’t have to do it, have a good night/ day!)

Okay first of all I love you and I would die for you. You are a perfect human being and there is literally no one else like you. Your body does a damn good job of keeping all of your organs in place and that's what matters. If anyone tells you different you rock their absolute shit.

And don't worry, I understood the request perfectly so no worries on that, I've got a similar body type except I'm really short. But I'm also super defensive over being touched or having those parts of my body perceived, so trust me when I say you're not alone. We be vibing with this together.

Now to the writing!

TMNT Headcanons

Boys reacting to a touch starved/defensive reader

Michaelangelo

Look man, our boy here is body positivity central, he thinks you look amazing and he wants everyone to know it

As far as you two go he's your best friend, your homie, your main man

So of course he's gonna wanna show you off, why wouldn't he?

He doesn't think you'd have a reason to not be okay with it, you've always been playful with him and his brothers

So obviously there's some widespread confusion once Casey gets tossed into the mix

All Mikey had done was reach behind him and snag you by the waist to pull you over

That was all

The words "and this is my best friend, y/n" never got the chance to leave his mouth

He was definitely not expecting you to squeak out in protest and scramble away from him as fast as humanly possible

Your face was burning red and you were clutching your sides, desperately trying not to bare your teeth in defence

Mikey couldn't help but feel heartbroken

Was there something wrong with him?

You sent Casey an unenthusiastic wave before turning on your heel and basically running out

Leaving a very confused orange turtle behind you

When he finally managed to catch up to you later you rushed to explain why you'd reacted the way you did

You couldn't stand his expression when you explained that no- you didn't think he was disgusting and no, he hadn't done anything wrong.

But he did seem baffled at you telling him that it was because you hated being touched there.

"Look Mikey, I've got no problem with the whole contact thing but you gotta give me a warning or something before you go around grabbing me. Okay?"

He was 100% fine with that

Anything to make you comfortable

But you both got to the point of being able to laugh at your reaction to the turtle trying to hold your hand

"Seriously Michaelangelo, I have a reputation to maintain. How am I supposed to do that when you're giving me feelings?"

Donatello

It completely baffled him

By all accounts it didn't make sense

You threw around compliments like you were playing hot potato and for whatever reason you'd always find someway to playfully flirt with him

But the second one of his brothers suggested something other than the innocent friendship the two of you had you would shut down completely

And coincidentally those types of comments were made at the most inconvenient times

Nothing screamed awkward more than you going stone cold and standoffish over a piece of pie

Bubbly and excited one moment, tossing around those positive affirmations to your favorite people

And staring murderously at an inanimate object the next

You were like an unsolvable rubix cube to him

But he was determined to figure you out

"Y/N?"

You didn't appear to be busy, just sitting on the haphazard bunk in your makeshift area with a book in your lap

The others had gone out on patrol and you weren't sure where Splinter was at that particular moment which left you and Donnie holding down the lair until they got back

The perfect time to approach the subject

"Hey y/n? Can I ask you something?"

His voice always got a little louder when you were alone, less afraid of being overheard. You looked up with a smile

"Fire away Dove."

His cheeks flushed in surprise

"uhhhhh... whydoyounotlikeme?"

You set your book down and leaned forward to stare at him

"Elaborate."

And he did, god he did, he did it at the speed of sound of course, but you caught every word

let me tell you, this boys heart broke for you when you told him that you did like him

you really really did

but the thought of being romantically involved with anyone made you shut down

Donnie assured you that it was fine

he'd wait for you as long as you needed

Raphael

Look, Raph knows a thing or two about being self conscious

out of all of his brothers he's the one who worries about his appearance the most

but you- holy shit he thinks you're the most amazing, perfect human in the world

so when he finds out that you hate being touched and that thinking about relationships makes your skin crawl he doesn't know whether to genuinely cry for you or punch someone in the mouth

both is okay

You'd always been very bold with your words and sometimes you'd even joke that you couldn't even tell when you were flirting with him

it just slipped out

and hearing that even though you could pull that off as easy as breathing and compliment all of them endlessly but you struggled to be comfortable in your own body?

that was a lot to unpack in one sitting

but the longer he sat with you and listened to you talk him through it the more he understood

sure, it was horrible

and he wouldn't likely stop thinking about hurting the people who'd done this to you (there'd be too many to count)

but you had a way of making him understand things

it was his favorite thing about you

"Uh- you know y/n, I uh- personally I think you look great. Like- all the time."

plz insert awkward finger guns here

there, your playful smirk was back and you were wiggling your eyebrows at him

"Awhhhh... is that Raph I see having feelings?"

Leonardo

he'd done enough listening and reading to know how society treated people who it thought was different

and he hated that you'd had to experience that for most of your life

when it came down to it and he saw that you had become particularly hard on yourself he took it upon himself to check in with you

that's how you'd started meditating with him

and you'd found it quite relaxing if you were completely honest

Leo told you that meditation was the best way to connect with your body and understand it

you hoped that in time you would understand what he meant by that

but the positive affirmations were doing something, so you'd take it

he'd always encourage you when you couldn't yourself

and always jump to your defense when the others got a little to out of bounds with their words

you still would noticeably flinch when touched without warning

they were all working with that

and he still found himself saddened that you'd recoil back into your protective walls if anyone mentioned anything inherently romantic

but you were coming around

and he was endlessly proud of you for that

Alright I hope I was able to get down what you were thinking. This one definitely took the most contemplating out of any of the requests I've gotten so I hope you like it!

[extremelyblackandwhite]

innocence - 20

PAIRING: bodyguard!bucky barnes x innocent actress!reader

WARNINGS: age gap

A/N: enjoy xxx

NEXT CHAPTER

Y/N was sat on the floor of her bathroom, leaned against the absurd quantity of objects barricading her door. She would be alright, she would be alright. Only someone with super strength could break through it ... or an axe. As that thought crossed her head all she could think of was of a little memory of her childhood. She and her younger brother had padded down the stairs to where his parents were watching a movie she would later learn it was the Shinning. She couldn’t forget the scream she had let out as she saw Jack break through the door using an axe and right now, right now all she could think of was that, something breaking through her door and harming her.

She looked at everything in her bathroom thinking of what she could use as a weapon to defend herself. Suddenly her friends back home forcing her to choose reusable razors were her best of friends. She could probably arm someone with the razor blade or try to stab them with eyebrow scissors. Bucky had once told her the damage doesn’t need to be big, only in the right place.

She continued to stay sat down, mumbling to herself she would be fine until she heard footsteps. They were loud, heavy and echoey. Her breathing stopped, hands over her mouth fully knowing any sound would give away her location. However was walking in her flat kept walking and the steps got closer and closer until there was a knock on her door.

     - Y/N? Y/N, it’s Steve. Open the door. - her heart returned to beating, breath normalising as she broke through her barricade, opening the door. It was really Steve, standing in front of her and was this another situation, she wouldn’t know what to act but right now, right now he was the best thing that could’ve arrived.

Steve however seemed to lose colour to his face as the mirror became visible to him. Bucky hadn’t told him what was written in the mirror and if he didn’t know, he wouldn’t definitely be pleased about it. 

    - I checked the flat, there’s no one here. Whoever wrote that isn’t inside the flat, you’re safe. - he put his hands in his back pocket, seemingly conflicted of what to do or what to say. His eyes whoever were glued on those words, scribbled in big letters, tarnishing her reflection. He felt guilty for those words he had told her, maybe Bucky was right in being mad at him. - Do you want some tea? Yeah, you should get some tea, maybe some food? 

   - I really don’t want any of that.

   - It’ll help you calm down.

   - I’m calm! - the words came harsher than she anticipated, tears pooling at her eyes as she turned her head away from him. However, turning his head away from him meant looking straight into the mirror, those words in front of her, written across her forehead only added salt to injury. She held her hair, trying to hold in the tears. No, she was not going to cry, she was not going to cry.

    - Hey ... - Steve pulled her in for a hug. - It’s okay. I’ll make you some tea and we’ll wait for Bucky. I promise no one is gonna come in and harm you. 

   - I don’t want Bucky to see me like this. - she wiped the tears with her back of her hand.

   - It’s okay, just come with me okay? - Steve took her by the hand to the kitchen but not before locking the bathroom door. He’d deal with that later. Walking into the kitchen, things looked normal. Everything looked so normal, Steve wondered how someone could’ve easily entered her flat. - You can wash your face in the sink, it’ll hopefully reduce some puffiness and the red eyes. I’ll put on the kettle and we’ll have a tea, okay?

 She didn’t reply to him, merely nodding before making way to the sink in the skin. Shaky hands reached to the tap, moving it and causing the cold water to start streaming. Her mind got lost in sound, not wanting to get lost in her insecurities. The sound of water running, water boiling in the kettle and the cold feeling of the water against her warm skin. She felt like crying again. She shouldn’t be crying, she shouldn’t be a cry baby, she told herself. The water kept running, being slashed onto her face occasionally until the sound of the kettle on the background ceased.

Turning off the tap, she wiped her face clean with some kitchen towel before turning to face Steve who held one of her mother’s Christmas’ mugs up to her. She had that mug for what felt like ages now, the painting was starting to chip and there were English Breakfast tea stains on the bottom yet she couldn’t let go of it. She couldn’t let go of the only thing which seemed to make her feel as if she could control her life in a house filled with agency bought furniture. 

  - Is Bucky coming? 

  - Yes, he is. Just stuck in traffic. Brooklyn traffic is quite bad. - he chuckled, trying to break the ice. - We once got jammed in it when we were trying to leave Coney Island. Bucky hadn’t told his ma and she gave him an earful. 

   - Was it worth it? - she laughed of the thought of Bucky getting reprimanded by his mother.

   - Yeah, he made me ride the Cyclone over and over again until I threw up and then tried to bribe me with ice cream. 

   - I know, he told me. - she smiled at Steve, taking him off guard. Bucky had talked with her about him? He wasn’t expecting that. Bucky barely spoke to him after the incident at the compound, if he did it was normally because he had no choice and if he were to guess he would say the two of them would probably be bad mouthing him behind his back. 

    - Wh ...

    - Y/N. - she turned her head to the familiar voice, jumping from her seat when she saw Bucky standing in the kitchen, catching his breath in a white wife beater shirt and light grey yoga trousers. She wrapped her arms around him, letting his warmth involve her as he kissed the top of her head, arms supporting her against him. His eyes roamed the room, falling on Steve. - What are you doing here? Where’s Sam?

   - Sam had his meeting ... I offered to come check on Y/N instead. 

   - How nice. - the sarcasm rolled off his tongue, something which came by unappreciated by Y/N who looked up at him with disapproval in her eyes. 

   - You should probably take her to a hotel for a few nights, maybe your Brooklyn flat? I can get Natasha and Tony to come take a look at her flat, look at the security cameras, scan for fingerprints. 

   - I can protect her, I don’t need your help. 

   - Can I show you something? - Steve remained his regular calm self, arms crossed over his chest as he motioned with his head towards the bathroom. Bucky was reluctant to get away from her, afraid if he let go something would happen to her. She, on the other hand, pulled away from him, giving him a reassuring look. His hand unlaced from hers as he followed Steve onto the bathroom. 

He expected broken glass, artefacts that would show a break in but as Steve opened the door, the bathroom was intact. There was no broken glass, no forced entry just the word Slut scribbled all over her mirror. His blood boiled, fists clenching as he went to grab a towel to scrub it of the mirror but Steve stopped him.

    - We need to examine it, first. It’s no good scrubbing it off. Right now, you need to take her out of here. We’re not sure how the person got in or how he got out, if there’s a blind spot he might try to use it again. Go to a hotel, register under one of your old alternate identities or to your Brooklyn flat.

   - Yeah ... uhum ... you’ll sort it from here or should I drop her off in Brooklyn and return?

   - Go be with your girlfriend, Bucky. - Steve smirked at the word, not remembering the time he had called anyone Bucky’s girlfriend.

   - Should I pack? - Y/N poked between the two friends.

   - No, I’ll ... I mean, I’ll get Sam to drop some of your stuff wherever you guys go. 

   - Thanks, Steve. - the actress gave him a quick hug before disappearing onto the kitchen to grab her bag and phone. 

    - I’ll see you around? 

Bucky didn’t reply, instead turning on his heel and leaving the blonde hero in the bathroom. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t want to say anything and so he left him there, instead walking to the kitchen and taking Y/N by the hand. She thought better not to say anything until they were in the car. 

     - What happened between you and Steve? - she asked once they were stuck on the traffic leading back to Brooklyn. 

     - Nothing happen between me and Steve, princess. - his eyes were glued onto the road, hands gripping onto the steering wheel. 

     - Really? Because if my best friend of more than fifty asked me a question, I wouldn’t just leave.

     - It’s really nothing, Y/N. He was rude to you and he didn’t apologise, that’s all. 

     - No that’s not all. - she turned her head to face him. - At least it doesn’t feel like that’s the only reason. Do you wanna tell me? Is it because he was the first one on the flat?

     - No, listen ... Y/N, it’s complicated. 

     - Do you want to be mad at Steve?

     - It’s more complicated than that, princess.

     - It’s a yes or no question, Buck. 

Bucky sighed, turning the wheel towards Brooklyn once the traffic cleared. The conversation ended there but it didn’t end in her mind. She didn’t want Bucky to be mad at Steve because of her, or him to be mad at Steve at all. Yet, she wasn’t going to push his buttons, she knew better so she just put her hand on his tight, head tilted against her own shoulder, watching his wild blue eyes on the road. The drive seemed longer as he tried not to look at her. He didn’t want her to get caught up in whatever he was dealing with Steve. Maybe it was wrong of him to get mad Steve due to things he had bottled up for years, yet, he just couldn’t help it. He wasn’t a baby, he wasn’t a cripple, he shouldn’t be treated like one. 

He drove up to his street, exiting the car first to check if there was any danger before opening the door to her. She looked around the neighbourhood, it was rather picturesque. Open large streets with close by apartments with little trees in front. It was the type of neighbourhood you would see in a coming of age movie. 

      - Come on. - he took her hand in his, walking her to his flat building. She stargazed at everything, watching the beautiful doors and matts until she reached Bucky’s door, the only door without an entry mat. - Listen, before you get it, you should know ... it’s not the best flat in the world. I’m still ... doing some things.

      - I’m sure it’s charming. 

      - If you don’t like it, we can go into a hotel. I want you to be ...

      - James. - she interrupted his rambling. - I’m sure it’s great.

      - Okay ... - Bucky insecurely opened the door of his flat, pushing it open with his feet to allow her in.

She furrowed her brows as she entered the empty home. There was no furniture, just boxes and a furnished kitchen, possibly bought that way. Now she understood why he was so insecure about opening the door, while she had too much in her flat, he had too little. Y/N moved further into his flat, opening the first door she saw which proved to be his bedroom and her heart shattered. There was no bed, just mattress on the floor and a few notebooks surrounding it. No pillows, no sheets. Nothing. 

     - Uh .. we can buy you a bed. Whatever bed you’d like. - Bucky came up from behind her, kissing her shoulder. 

     - Bucky, how long have you had this flat?

     - For a while now ... I know it doesn’t look good but I was thinking about buying some paint ... Yet, I don’t really know if I get to be like this for a while.

      - What do ... Oh. - she turned around and placed her hands on her shoulder, giving him a slow, soft kiss. - You’re not going back to that. I know you’re not, you’re strong. This is your home, you should treat it like a home. 

      - Princess, I don’t need much.

      - Well but if you don’t get a bed, I’m afraid I won’t sleep with you. Sounds dangerous. I don’t want to end up in A&E and explain to the nurse that my spine is cracked because my boyfriend doesn’t have a bed. 

      - Holding sex? That’s a low move, princess. 

      - IKEA. We need to go to IKEA.

      - Are you sure you don’t want to rest? I mean, you just wen ...

      - We could get meatballs. - she interrupted him, clapping happily. - Meatballs and home shopping, it’s gonna be marvellous. 

      - Y/N, we can order in meatballs.

      - But not IKEA meatballs. Come on Bucky, it’ll be fun! It’s like playing the Sims but in real life. 

     - I’m not gonna question you about what the Sims is. - he smiled at her excitement, pulling a strand of her hair behind her ear. - Are you sure you don’t want to test the mattress? I think I can make you like the bare mattress.

    - I know, love. That’s exactly why I’m not gonna try the mattress. - she held onto his shirt, little smile on her lips. - But I do think you need to change out of your pyjamas and maybe put some shoes on. 

    - You’re being awfully demanding of me, Ms. Y/N. I might have to punish you later.

    - Bed first and then you can do whatever you want. 

taglist: @disasterbii​​​ @lookiamtrying​​​ @buckysteveloki-me​​​ @americasass81​​​ @jamesbarnesappreciationclub​​​ @lostinthebeans​​​ @mariahthelioness29​​​ @buckyandsebastian​​​ @peaches-roses-sins​​​ @theadorasabditory​​​ @sipsteacasually​​​ @saiyanprincessswanie​​​ @booktease21​​​ @noiralei​​​ @learisa​​​ @everythingisoverratedbutgreat​​​​ @uglipotata72829​​​​ @naturalthrone22​​​​ @husherstan​​​​ @mandiiblanche​​​​ @vicmc624​​​​ @newyorkgoddess​​​​ @itsallyscorner​​​​ @chipilerendi​​​​ @emzd34​​​​ @writerwrites​​​​ @bluevxnus​​​​ @that-girl-named-alex​​​​ @captnrogers​​​​ @nsfwsebbie​​​​ @sarge-barnes-sir​​​​ 

[sweetestlamb]

Come Undone

Author’s note: Well, I know I said it was coming this weekend but I decided to break it apart and post this part first. It’s another roller coaster but I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Thank you to everyone who messages me and supports me and loves this story. I am so thankful for you.  Enjoy my babies :) Thanks for the photo @prodmina, (I’ll use the other thing later in the story too) you are a doll and as always thank you @ewolfwitchwisegirl for this beautiful header! 

p.s Crazy fun fact I had no idea what Seojun’s mom’s name was so I put random initials thinking I’ll check later and fix it. Only to guess completely right! I am so proud of myself LOL 

She stands dumbfounded in his arms, unable to process the words that have left his lips. She couldn’t have heard him right, why on Earth would someone like him who had girls fighting to be his girlfriend want anything to do with her? Did he pity her that much? Was this the premise of a high school drama and he’d taken some sort of bet to befriend her? Somehow all of those options seem more feasible than him having genuine feelings for her.

But it’s her first real confession, she’s always seen others receive this and never experienced it herself. There had been some grandiose ones at school but she secretly tells herself she prefers this, just them two without an audience. it feels more intimate and authentic, as if he couldn’t wait another minute and his feelings for her overwhelmed him. Her heart is beating rapidly despite her deep calming breaths, he’s effectively turned her world upside down with just those small three words.

I like you.

She can’t control the way her heart flutters, but surely it would react that way to anyone? It wasn’t connected to the confession-er, she was merely affected because someone liked her that was human nature. It didn’t matter that it was Han Seojun, they were nothing to each other. Pity was surely clouding his emotions and she wanted no part in being there when he realized that and abandoned her, it was best not to get attached at all she argues with her traitorous heart.

Her phone brings her back to reality, suddenly she remembers where she’s meant to be right now and her father’s enraged face appears in her mind. He’d told her not to embarrass him, which meant she had to go on this date and paint on a happy face and pretend that she wasn’t dying inside. All for a man who treated her no better than scum under his shoes.

Pulling out the phone, Obligation flashes on her phone screen that’s all he was after all she’d already forgotten his name, it was of no importance to her. She doesn’t know if she should answer, still confused about her next step and while she’s ruminating a hand suddenly fills her vision and snatches the object from her hand. Twisting out of his hug she stares in shock before trying to grab the phone back, “Are you insane? Give it back!” But he steps back, putting more space between them as he holds the stolen object just out of her reach tauntingly using his looming height.

“Is this your date? Obligation.” He reads the name from the phone, venom in his voice and she’s taken back by his tone he’s hardly ever serious or cold with her. She’s seeing many different facets to his personality today.

“Han Seojun, give it back!” She demands, stomping her feet before lunging for the item, putting a hand on his shoulder for more leverage. But she miscalculates and her face smashes into his jaw making him cry out in pain and sending her flying forward her body crashing into his painfully, he steadies her with an arm around her waist bringing her dangerously close to him. Their eyes connect as if they are magnetized, just like that day in front of her house.

“Is this your answer, princess? You sure know how to hurt a guy.” She peers at him in bewilderment before searching his face, there’s not even a fraction of a smile on his lip and he refuses to meet her eyes. Gazing off into the distance although he’s speaking to her. He seems…hurt and he’s not doing a good job of hiding it at all, it’s written all over his face and she wonders vaguely what kind of world he must live in to be able to so freely reveal his feelings? She yearns to grab his lips and literally turn his frown upside down, smiles look much better on him.

“You mean it.” She whispers in awe, the ice around her heart defrosting as his palpable pain washes over her. He’d thought she was rejecting him for her “date”. He clearly wasn’t a great listener, she had no feelings for that guy it was just another part of her world that she had no control over. For some reason she wants to explain that to him, make him understand that in another universe maybe things would be different, maybe she would be allowed to want and she would explore this but this isn’t her reality, things are not that simple. Love isn’t an option for her.

“I told you. About my world, I can’t–”

“That’s just an excuse. You have a choice Sujin.” He states his word are cold as ice, he looks livid as he puffs out an exasperated breath of air and frantically runs his fingers through his hair.

Shoving him hard she sneers up at him before shouting in his face, “What choice do I have? I have control over nothing in my life, my first date is being stolen from me. I’ll probably have to kiss him too so that will also be stolen! I can’t control anything I didn’t even choose this outfit. None of this is my choice.” It’s not his fault, and he’s the one person that’s been there for her and that makes her even angrier, why isn’t she allowed to have this? Go on a date with a boy who might care for her, why is life cruel enough that this is being presented but she can’t grab onto it with both hands?

For the first time ever, he doesn’t deflate or back off like he usually does when they get to these moments, he’s usually her safety pin pulling her back from the edge of detonation so she’s not ready for him to scream back at her, “Then choose me! Fuck all of that, fuck your father.” He lifts up her phone which has started to ring again, “Fuck this guy! Just choose me, let me be your first.” They both stand still, staring at each other the jingle of her iPhone not enough to cut the thick coiling tension and then she watches in gaped surprise as he angrily slides her phone open. “Stop fucking calling, she’s not coming. She’s with her boyfriend.” Then he slides the phone close, finally handing it back to her looking at her with those hard glistening eyes. She looks at the phone and then back at him, eyes wide as the moon.

Stupefied and flustered she stutters out, “You’re n-n-ot my boyfriend. What are you doing?”

“Let me take you on a date. Pick me Sujin.”

They stand at an impasse, neither talking following the outburst but their eyes are locked having a conversation all their own. He looks impossibly young standing there asking to be chosen, he was always so shameless with his emotions uncaring about letting them ooze out of his pores. Although he was no longer saying anything, his face was screaming at her, his eyes were kneeling before her on bended knees.

When the phone vibrates again, she's so entranced that she doesn't make any move to check it so when the cab driver calls out her name from his window, she jumps in surprise at the sudden interruption.

"Ms. Kang Sujin?" He eyes them both, glancing back and forth as if he too can feel the tension laying heavy in the air between them.

After a moments pause she finally relays the message to her mouth to speak, answering quietly, "Yes. That's me."

Seojun watches her unwaveringly, never breaking eye contact to look at the driver. He's standing unnaturally straight, all of his usual swagger drained from his body as he watches to see what she'll do.

Turning to the cab, she reaches out a hand to grab the handle, the cool metal smooth in her grasp.

Pulling it open she turns to look at him one last time before making her decision, with an expressionless face she ultimately slides into the passenger seat. The leather squeaking over her naked thighs, primly she places the little white bag in her lap. When she finally focuses back on Seojun, the hurt on his face is almost too much to witness instead of hiding it like she would he lays it all at her feet, lips twisted in a broken snarl and his fingers clenched tightly by his side.

She waits for some kind of retaliation, for the switch to flick and for him to erupt on her for refusing to listen to his plea. Almost salivates at the idea of him showing her that this was all an act, he didn't truly like her once she rejected him he would lash out and whatever this was would be obliterated. No one was that good, she didn't deserve goodness.

"Text me later then. Let me know when you get home."

His voice is devoid of any anger, calm and smooth but tinged with resignation, gracefully accepting defeat and still concerned about her well-being. Surely he was created in a test tube, there's no reasonable explanation for the way he never reacts the way she expects- the way anyone would in his situation. A sad little smile spreads across his lips and it's the most despairing thing she's ever seen, she never wants to see it again not on his face. As he moves to slam the door shut, somehow still a gentleman even in this predicament, spontaneously she grabs his hand.

"Get in."

She can't believe the words that have left her mouth but she's also buzzing, why isn't she allowed to be selfish and take something that she wants? She can't promise him forever still, her life hasn't changed that drastically but she can give him today, give herself a real first date with someone who doesn't make her skin crawl.

He looks rightfully confused, she knows that she's not making any sense. Playing hot and cold.  But her heart is telling her that she's allowed this, she has a choice and today she's joining herself. She's never done that before it's terrifying but maybe it'll be easier with him, maybe he can teach her how.

"Fuck that guy. Take me on a date." She whispers astonished repeating his own words , staring up at him for his response and the answering smile that spreads across his handsome face is enough to power a whole city. She almost beams back his happiness is that contagious.

He squeezes her gloved hand, sliding into the cab beside her their legs pressed closely together. She looks away, moving over discretely but he simply follows her boyish grin on his face, no one has ever smiled like that because of her; it's honestly mesmerizing.

Sounding thoroughly amused, the driver confirms her destination and she realizes she hadn't thought that far and she has no idea where they should go. Placing a burning hot hand on her knee, Seojun easily gets her attention.

"Do you trust me princess?"

She stares back at him, blooding pumping from his soulful tone and his skin on her skin. She's making a horrible mistake, she's sure of but she'll have regrets tomorrow. Boldly returning his look she nods mutely, forced to look away when he laughs so beautifully it makes her stomach drop. Today she does. 

"No we have a new destination."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

She looks quizzically at said destination.

"A mall?" She scrunches her nose climbing out of the cab, brushing past him as he holds the door open for her. She tries to ignore the flapping in her stomach, his constant chivalry is a welcome surprise.

"Already doubting me princess? This isn't our date, I wouldn't bring you to a mall on our first date." He sounds affronted but in a teasing way and she wasn't prepared to hear him call this a date even though she'd said those same words herself minutes ago.

"Then why are we here?"

He opens the entrance door letting her go first, she's not sure she'll ever get used to this. He hasn't let her open one door since he chased her out of the coffee, using those long limbs every time to beat her to the door.

"You don't need to keep doing this?"

Now it's his turn to look quizzical, "Do what?"

They're walking side by side now, she notices that he's adjusted his steps to match hers. She hardly wears heels and walking in them is not her expertise, she'd only worn them because her father insisted claiming women should wear them on a date. It made them more appealing to men. She ha cringed in disgust at the comment. 

"Open every door we encounter. I can open them too."

Suddenly he grabs her hand stopping her in the middle of the mall, she tries to tug her hand away no longer covered by her gloves but he tightens his hold preventing her from pulling away.

"You told me to take you on date. This is me on a date, I want to open all your doors. You picked me so just enjoy it, this is all for you." She stares at his small content smile embarrassed by his undivided focus on her. Her cheeks burning up without her permission she races away before he can see.

"Let's go."

But he's too quick, running ahead of her and walking backwards eyes scanning her face.

"Are you blushing? Was I too charming princess, did you heart flutter?" He teases her reaching out a hand to squeeze her cheeks, she smacks his hand away glaring at him.

"Shut up before I leave."

He winks in response nonplussed by her empty threat walking purposely before stopping in front of a retail store. Looking through the window she can see trendy clothes, definitely Seojun's style.

She gazes over at him unimpressed, "Did you bring me here to watch you shop?" He looks at her equally unimpressed before raising an eyebrow, "Come on princess. You have a lot to learn about me."

Still with this damn nickname and now because she hadn't reprimanded him enough it seemed it was here to stay. 

Seojun walks over to a rack immediately, pulling out shirts and putting over her figure. Nodding his head before putting the article back and moving onto another rack.

I didn't even choose the outfit. Her own voice rings in her mind remembering their heated discussion on the sidewalk and suddenly it all makes sense they're here to get an outfit for her,  something chosen by her.

"Do you like this?" He holds up another shirt, light blue with a cute picture of a puppy on the front. She sneers at him pushing the offending object away.

"I'm not five, why would I wear that?"

He shrugs at her putting the shirt in front of himself now, "What? I think it's cute. Wouldn't I look cute in it?"

He does, the idiot. His lips pushed out into a perfect pout matching the puppy on the shirt but before she can lie through her teeth and tell him no, another high pitched voice interrupts them.

"Oh! You are so handsome, I'm sure anything would look just delicious on you."

When she turns around she's greeted by a chipper store clerk, she doesn't look much older than them and she only has eyes for Seojun,  not once looking in her direction despite being right next to her.

"Is it your first time here? Do you need help? What are you looking for?" The girl rapid fires out questions and she doesn't like the way her chest tightens watching the girl blatantly flirt with him. Clutching her fists she stalks off to a random rack not wanting to look bothered by the invasion, he's allowed to talk to whoever he wants. He's not hers nor she his.

She idly lifts a white T-shirt, it's plain besides a small upside triangle design on the pocket. She knows the brand, they're part of a nonprofit company that gives all their proceeds to children homes. She searches for her size resisting the urge to see what Seojun's doing. He startles her when he peeks over her shoulder his chin almost landing on her collar. 

"You like that?" He croons into her ears appearing out of nowhere.

She twists around hoping to put some space between them only to lose her breath at the sight of him, he's removed his bomber jacket standing in a black T-shirt but that's not what catches her attention, it's the dark winding dragon weaving intricately down his bicep. The swirls of black and dark blues of the creature's body are captivating as gray smoke curls out of the dragon's mouth. "It's new." He flexes the arm, bringing it closer to her until it's close enough for her to touch. So she does. Trailing a finger from the dragon's head almost on his wrist and meandering up his arm, stopping at the edge of his shirt sleeve where the tattoo disappears. Realizing what exactly she's doing she snatches her hand away, putting the wayward appendage behind her back.

His eyes are dark when she glances up but neither of them fill the silence, she shuffles going back to the rack and absently pulling out a pair of black jeans.

"I've always liked dragons. They're larger than life and nobody messes with them."

It sounds like he's describing himself, or the persona she's seen at school. The school heart-throb with girls fawning over him and boys wanting to be him, his motorcycle, piercings and now tattoos only adding to his allure. On paper he was the quintessential bad boy but she knew now that wasn't entirely accurate. She'd seen how protective he was of his sister and how doting he was of family, he loved his family and it was clear that the feeling was mutual. And then there was the way he treated her, he was something more than what everyone saw.

Lamely she only replies, "I didn't know you had tattoos."

Thrusting his other hand into her face he shows his wrist, small letters are branded there. Initials.

GW. MH

"GW....Go-woon."

He nods agreeing, "Yeah these were my first tattoos, my mom and sister’s initials. After my father passed away I had to step up, I wanted a reminder that I had people worth living for."

She freezes at his admission, unprepared for the personal and revealing turn this conversation has taken. His face is blank but those eyes, they never lie they are brimming with emotions. She has to fight the urge to hug him, instead patting him on the shoulder.

"Your family loves you. They're lucky to have you."

They aren't the only ones but that's too much for today. She has already reached her mistake quota.

He leans into her touch, resting his head on her shoulder for only a moment before straightening up and smiling.

"Didn't know you were capable of giving compliments princess, I feel special."

She lets him break the tension knowing that he probably didn't intend to open up that much, his cheeks are dusted in red confirming her inkling.

"Don't get used to it. You hardly do anything worth complimenting."

They slip back into their usual banter, as she searches for a dressing room thankfully there's no line and she goes in. After changing she looks at herself in the full sized mirror, she tucks the edge of the shirt into her pants. It's simple but it's more her, the real her. Her father insists that they wear the most expensive clothes and she owns many different brands but most days she'd rather just dress like this and not feel like she's on an imaginary runway. Pulling the door open, she almost collides with Seojun not prepared from him to be waiting right  outside her door.

He changed too, and she blinks at him.

"We're not wearing matching outfits. Go change." She states blankly. 

He chuckles softly, straightening the already perfect shirt on his body. He added a silver chain and black boots to his outfit and she groans internally because she'd also planned on pairing her outfit with black boots.

"It just happened. I guess our style is compatible." He winks at her going to model in front of the mirror.

"Why are you even here? Shouldn't you be in the men's dressing room?" She hisses at him as he preens in the glass.

She gets her answer in the form of a familiar high pitched tone.

"Oh it looks great on you! You have to get it, it really shows off your arms." Then she watches in dismay as the other girl actually reaches out to touch his arm, Seojun smoothly moves out of her reach but the girl is adamant and places a hand on his back instead standing next to him by the mirror.

Her eyes squint in annoyance, he might not be hers but the outfits should have made it obvious that they were something to each other but the girl was choosing to turn a blind eye. She stops holding back. This is all leaving a bad taste in her mouth. Interjecting easily, she moves the proprietary hand on Seojun's back with a flick of her wrist. 

"Do you accost all your customers like this?" She deadpans at the other girl, watching her eyes widen before her face morphs into a tense smile that doesn't reach her eyes.

"I didn't notice you there. Is she your sister?" The store clerk defers back to Seojun as if dismissing her completely and in the corner of her eyes she sees  the hard glint of his jawline, he doesn't look pleased. That gives her the courage for her next action.

"Do you usually buy matching outfits with your siblings? We're on a date. We don't need your help as you can see, we already have what we need." She motions between them and their matching outfits, watching the other girl who looks ready to scream before turning to Seojun with beguiling eyes, as if begging him to deny her words. 

He wraps an arm around her shoulder, pressing their sides tightly together. The other girl looks at them in disbelief before he answers in his deep voice, "You heard my girl. I'm off limits."

She tells her heart to calm down, this is all a show after all. It was about the principle of the matter, she didn't appreciate this complete stranger ruining her first date. It wasn't about Seojun in particular. He wasn't hers, she knew that. They both watch as she stomps off, angry blush on her face and retort under her breath. Sujin's tempted to follow her and hear what she's saying under her breath, but she collects herself. Turning to Seojun she complains, "This is how you act on a date? Flirting with other girls?"

He gasps at the accusation pressing a hand against his heart, "I never flirted. I told her I wasn't interested when you left the first time. I didn't think you'd be the jealous type though. "

She opens her mouth to deny that claim despite all the evidence proving otherwise but he beats her to it.

"I like it." He ruffles her hair before walking off.  She stands there in gaped mouth surprise, how dare he? After picking her jaw up off the ground, they finally join the line, clothes folded in their arms. Deciding to change back into them after ringing up the order. 

They get ringed up by another store clerk, when she tries to pull out her credit card Seojun looks at her like she's personally offended him.

"I'm paying. Don't bother arguing, this is me on a date."

"You two are so cute! I love your matching outfits." The cashier coos at them missing the cold glare from her co-worker in the distance.

As they leave the store she waves snidely at the other girl, even allowing Seojun to rest his arm on her shoulder to put on a even more convincing show.

She knows she's being petty but the other girl started it, she's just finishing it. Maybe next time she wouldn't flirt with boys who were with other girls, she was teaching her a life long lesson.

"You're something else princess."

As soon as they get outside, the store clerk no longer in sight she pushes his hand away. They need to redraw the line in the sand he's getting too comfortable touching her and calling her that nickname. And she might be getting too comfortable hearing it.

"That's enough. Stop calling me that." She expects him to be annoyed or hurt by her switch in attitude but instead he's nodding his head fondly with his hands held high, "I make no promises about that P. But I think it's time to get this date started."

She groans staring at this back, she'd completely forgotten to make him change and now everyone was staring at them in their matching outfits. That stupid flirtatious clerk had derailed her thinking.

"Hey! Seojun, let's go to another store. You need to change!" she yells chasing after him.  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He groans as the sensor sounds out, loud noise blaring in his ears signaling that she's hit him again, he only catches a glimpse of her before she's barrel rolling behind a pillar and out of sight.

She'd totally played him, adamant that she'd never done laser tag before. He should have known when she came after changing looking far too comfortable with the gigantic imitation gun in her hand, her hair scooped into a high ponytail. It was admittedly distracting, bringing attention to the long regal line of her neck. He noticed how the instructor paused mid sentence upon seeing her, his eyes lingering a little too long for his liking. Easily he moved between them, dwarfing her with his larger frame staring the guy down until he snapped back looking away while rubbing his neck.

She hadn't noticed the interaction too busy aiming her weapon and asking questions, he had second guessed bringing her here wondering if this was too childish. It was there first date after all and he wanted there to be others, was this thoughtful enough? But watching her roll and dive for cover he knew that he'd made the right choice, even if she was currently destroying his ego.

He had immediately fell for her tricks, running to her aid when she tripped and fell whimpering in pain on the ground. His heart had stopped as he raced over to her, her name on his tongue but before he could utter the word she rolled over, smirk on her face as she aimed perfectly in the middle of his chest, gaining the most point value. She stuck her tongue out before hopping up and disappearing into the darkness. He had stood there shocked clutching at his chest. 

"Do you really have time to day dream? I don't know if you've noticed but you're losing. Badly."

She calls from somewhere and he shakes his head at her mocking comment, the trash talking has been steadily increasing with each shot she landed. He should have expected this, for her to be competitive. He's seen it at school sometimes that grimace on her face when she saw that she was second again, glaring at Suho before shoving the ranking away.

He wishes he could say that he's been taking it easy on her but he hasn't, he's been trying his damn hardest to no avail, every time he spots her she dodges him easily, before reappearing behind her and making his sensors go off. He's not the most competitive person but losing this badly is simply embarrassing, a small part of him wants to impress her.

Okay, a large part. Shoot him.

He groans when just that happens, she shoots him and that's it. Game over. 

Winner flashes across the front of her camo vest. But when a radiant smile spreads across her flushed face he wonders who is truly the winner.

Cocking an eyebrow he whistles, "You sure you've never done this before?"

She tries to hide a smile but fails epically before admitting the truth. "I might have done this before, once or twice."

"You're a game shark. Taking advantage of poor innocent souls. Is this anyway to treat your date?" He feigns hurt pouting dramatically, bottom lip wobbling. She rolls her eyes at him, ponytail swishing as she skips away before calling over a shoulder, "Even if I told you, you would have still lost. I'm just better than you. Did you even hit me once?" She taunts, looking far too attractive with that snotty look on her face. He must be going crazy.

"You're such a brat. " He concedes enjoying this version of Sujin too much to take any real offense to her insults.

"Rematch?" She purses her lips before aiming right at his head, with one eye closed.

"You're on." She accepts his challenge before running over the counter to purchase more time, he trails after her knowing that he's lost much more than this laser tag game. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

She kicks his ass a second time, he does manage to land one shot on her but it only makes her even more competitive and it's a flurry after that, his censor ringing off every few seconds. It's a short rematch, her notices how other guys seem mesmerized by the beautiful girl with the near precise aim. She starts attracting quite the audience and he decides they've been here long enough. This isn't the end of their date after all, he doesn't want to waste this time.

"Alright, you win ninja remind me never to do this with you ever again."

She stands triumphantly before wondering off to change.

The ponytail is down when she comes back out, thick dark curtain over her shoulder. His fingers itch with desire but he controls the urge, he's seen what she's capable of. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ She shakes her head as he pulls out her chair but he sends her a charming smile, he wasn't joking when he told her this was how he acted on dates. Maybe it's because he only has his mother and sister but he has always respected woman immensely, doing these little acts makes him feel like he's cherishing them. His mother has never opened a door in his presence so this feels natural to him.

They're in a quaint diner with dim lighting and cushy oversized chairs, she looks around curiously taking in the minimalist artwork and splashes of color on the wall.

"Do you bring all your dates here?" She asks all nonchalance as she thumbs through the menu, surprising him when she immediately goes to the dessert section eying the different cakes. He sits in disbelief that she has a sweet tooth, she's just full of surprises today.

"Sujin." He puts iron into his voice grabbing her attention, when their eyes are connected he speaks again, "I think you know me better than that. Don't make this cheap."

It's obvious what she's been trying to do since they left the laser tag center, put as much distance between them as possible. Every once in a while her phone vibrates and he can see her tense up before declining the call. The reality of what she's done has set in and now she's putting back up her fortress. Brushing off his compliments and implying that everything he's been doing is all part of some first date playbook, he's trying not to be offended but it's hard to wrangle in his emotions. 

It always is with her.

They stare at each other until a server comes to take their order. She orders a chocolate mousse cake that sounds like something his sister would love- cloyingly sweet and diabetes inducing- and he orders another slice to bring home to her, maybe he can use that to bribe her and hear more about how Sujin saved her. For himself he gets an egg sandwich with avocado and bacon, starving now after his long day. He'd gone to work straight from school and fatigue is catching up with him.

"I'll be right back." He announced abruptly, the chair screeching as he excuses himself from the table.

He splashes cold water on his face, waking himself up and clearing his mind. What will they do after this? It's clear that she's dreading what comes next. Nothing has changed, she still has to go home and he knows they'll be repercussions to today. He can't let her face that alone but getting her to agree to him being there is going to be near impossible. The trust between them is still thin, like the first layer of ice that covers a frozen lake and he's terrified to rupture it.

What is he supposed to do?

Trepidation grips his mind as he makes his way back to their table and as he draws closer, he notices that she's completely distracted, arms balanced on the armrests as she stares out the glass, lost in thought and a million miles away. She looks beautiful, if he was a poet he would write sonnets about it.  He has no idea how this day is going to end, feels dread swirling in his stomach as well and he pulls out his phone angling it as he stands in front of her. Wanting to capture this moment, tattoo this image in his mind. 

Click!

The loud notification of his camera breaks her reprieve and anxiously he starts to staff the traitorous device in his pocket but not before she spots him.

"Did you just take a picture of me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He answers innocently, sitting down and taking a huge bite of the sandwich that was delivered while he was away. Her chocolate cake is still perfect, thick and sweet the aroma wafting across the table. She was waiting for him.

Grabbing her fork, he stabs a huge piece of the decadent treat lifting it to her mouth.

"What are you doing?" She retreats attempting to steal her fork back but he weaves out of reach, laughing at her grumpy face.

"Open up princess." He tries to feed her again but she turns her head away, he has to catch himself before he smashes it on her cheek. He gets the feeling that wouldn't have ended well if he didn't have fast reflexes.

"Seojun."

"Princess."

"Don't call me that."

"Open up."

"No!"

She's fully glaring at him now, arms folded across her chest and he stares back impishly before formulating a plan.

"Fine. Suit yourself."

She looks surprised at his quick acceptance of defeat before he starts to bring the cake to his own mouth, exaggeratedly opening his mouth wide to consume the delicacy and instantly she lunges across the table looking ferocious, her mouth open wide in anger and finding an opening he twists the fork and pops the cake into her mouth.

Her face is thunderous, anger filling every line before the flavor explodes on her tongue and she freezes mid lunge looking like a chipmunk with her full cheeks and wide eyes. She slowly chews savoring the bite before finally swallowing. He waits for her reaction with bated breath.

"How was it?" He laughs at her dark stare, passing the fork back over the table. Almost too eagerly she grabs the utensil, shoveling more of the sweet treat into her mouth. Silently answering his inquiry, in minutes her plate is empty only a smear of icing remaining.

He chews his own sandwich deliberately.

When his phone starts to vibrate he doesn't detect it at first, too lost in the puzzle that is Kang Sujin; laser tag extraordinaire with a sweet tooth the size of Seoul. A gentle smile washes over his face when he sees the caller ID and he makes a rash decision that may or may not get him in more trouble. Declining the call, he goes into the contact and chooses FaceTime instead waiting patiently until a face pops up.

"Seojun, where are you? Your sister said she saw you at work earlier and you were on your way home. Did something happen?" His mother’s concerned voice rings out from the speakers. 

Glancing subtly over at Sujin he sees her freeze before realization lights up her eyes and he knows she's going to bolt. Not giving her a chance to flee, he reaches around the table grabbing her chair and tugging her over until they're side by side. Both of their faces sit in the small square on his phone and his mother gasps at the sudden addition to your conversation.

"Oh! Who's this? Are you out with friends?"

"Mom, this is Kang Sujin. The girl I like." He states proudly, smiling brightly at the screen. 

His mom's eyes become comically wide, glancing back and forth between the two of them before she waves back excitedly. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you my dear. I hope my son is treating you well." His mother has that look on her face that she always gets before she scolds him, clearly seeing the other girl’s discomfort. Sujin is unmoving next to him, a pregnant moment passes before she blinks twice and realizes that she's being spoken to.

"He is. It's nice to meet you too." Her voice is tinier than he's ever heard it.

 Worlds different from the person who looked ready to stab him over chocolate cake.

His mother's eye immediately soften at her quiet voice.

"Well I won't keep you. Make sure she gets home safely and don't come back too late. It's supposed to rain later." She warns them both waving softly before ending the call and the screen goes dark.

"What are you doing?"

She's furious. He can hear in the cadence of her voice, she's vibrating with it.

"Why would you do that?”

"Why are you so angry?" He rises to her bait, knowing this was the inevitable end to their near perfect date.

"You had no right to do that. I don't need to be anymore involved with your life."

A slap across his face. That stings and he can't control his reaction, recoiling like he's been hit.

"What was supposed to happen after today? Why did you agree to this? Was this supposed to get you out of my system?" He barks at her. He’s so annoyed this is happening in the middle of a diner, like those couples you always see and judge praying that they'll take this somewhere else.

"It was supposed to get you out of my system!" She screams back. 

There's the truth, the ugly truth. It's not different from anything she's ever said to him but hearing that now after confessing to her feels like salt being poured into his wounds. Or acid behind injected into his veins. 

"What about my feelings? I like you."

Harshly she stands snatching her purse and throwing down a few bills on the table, with a tone filled with venom she looks him dead in the eyes, unwavering. "Don't." ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ It wasn't supposed to end like this, his heartbroken face is frozen in her mind.

Don't.

She was selfish, a horrible selfish bitch and she used his feelings for her. That's what he would think and that was best, he needed to face the reality that one stolen moment didn't make her life brand new, she was still the broken mess he'd stumbled upon in the rain. No matter how vehemently he tried there was no mending her she was beyond repair.

But it had felt nice. Being with him, feeling like a normal teenager on a date. For a minute she'd forgotten her reality, when he called his mother it was the wake up call she needed. She wasn't the girl you brought home to your mother, at least not for him. The woman looked so much like him and she could feel their affection for each other through the phones, her own mother has never looked at her with such devotion. Jealousy crawls at her insides, she'd forgotten she was a monster until she saw them. She couldn't drag another person into her storm.

He doesn't call. She thought he would, expected him to chase after her and demand more. She stares through the window of the bus watching the raindrops slide down the glass, his mother had been right. Taking out her phone she types a message.

I'm sorry.

Staring at it, there's so much she's sorry for but mostly crashing into his life. If only he'd ignored her like everyone else this could have all been avoided, he would have been spared. She leans back in her seat with a deep sigh, message unsent.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

She's drenched standing outside her house, pacing back and forth pulling at the skin between her fingers. Her father has to know by now, but he hasn't contacted her once. It feels like the calm before the storm despite the torrential pour of rain around her.

The click of the front door opening makes a shiver race down her spine. Her father stands ominously in the doorway, face set in stone.

"Where have you been!" He screams, booming voice cutting through the fall of rain.

She instinctively takes a step back but he grabs her by her soaking shirt collar and slams her into the brick wall, she cries out as pain surges through her body. "You little bitch, I told you not to embarrass me." He hisses into her face, spit landing on her chin.

"Honey, stop! You're outside somebody will see!" She hears her mother crying from the doorway and she almost laughs at the reasoning, it's okay to beat her to pulp as long as it's inside where no one will see. It was all about upholding appearances.

"You shut your mouth! This wouldn't have happened if you raised her better!" He turns to sneer at her mother and she capitalizes on his momentary distraction, twisting out of his hold and running down the sidewalk. For a moment she thinks she's free but then a sharp pain shoots through her head and she's painfully yanked backwards by her hair. She shouts at the burst of intense pain, hot tears streaming down her face.

He drags her by her hair before shoving her into the wall, her skull bounces off the hard surface and white starburst explode behind her eyelids.

Squinting through her tears and the water soaking her face she sees her father with his fist drawn back. She waits for the blow, clenching her eyes shut. If she's lucky this will be it, it'll all be over.

But the moment drags on and the punch never lands and then she suddenly hears a voice she never expected.

"Get your fucking hands off her!" 

She's barely able to lift her hand and watch as her father is shoved powerfully, falling to his knees from the impact. Rubbing at her tender scalp she peers up at her savior only to see the furious face of Seojun, his hair is matted to his scalp and he looks murderous.

"You came." That's all she can get out before her world goes pitch dark, he was here. He was truly here even after everything she said. Why? Why was he always there? 

Her last cognitive image is him running frantically towards her with his arms outreached, his lips are moving and she wishes she knew what he was saying but there's no sound and then there's nothing.

Darkness. 

[kuroo-shitsurou]

Communicate (Haiba Lev x kuudere!Reader)

note: first entry for haikyuu! i'm open for requests, just hmu! i apologize for any mistakes. some of my stories were intentionally made to be f!reader, but i figured gn!reader would be more appropriate. so i apologize if you see any she/her/names that are in the text. ^^

(i'm adding w/c now as well!)

word count: 3.8k

"He's not coming back tonight, no?"

For a few moments, there was silence. A gust of wind blew past the apartment complex, rustling the leaves of the trees planted down below. You sat on the chair set up on your balcony. Looking over the metal railings, you admired how the yellow and red taillights of cars stuck in traffic bobbed up and down the street. Somehow, they looked like Christmas lights tossed in a messy line; Like they were discarded the morning right after Christmas because the tree had to be taken down again.

You hugged the jacket closer to your arms, hoping to gain more warmth. Inhaling the fresh scent of laundry detergent, you smiled. Eyes crestfallen and tears just barely swimming in your ducts. The cold breeze of December brushed past your hair, tickling the back of your neck. It's the first Christmas I'm spending without you.

Your cat, Maika, jumped on your lap. She purred and mewled, rubbing her head against your warm hand. You managed to choke out a small chuckle, petting the white fur of the cat. You let your eyes wander to the glass doors connecting the living room and balcony. Your couch was there, a duvet carelessly thrown on top of it. You shouldn't help but let a few drops of salty tears fall down your cheeks.

You weren't really the type of person to cry over silly things. In fact, you rarely cried at all. As far as you remember, the last time you cried over something petty was back in second grade. You were teased for cutting your own hair; Your bangs looked choppy, and one classmate even mentioned how you managed to cut a giant chunk out from the back of your head. Admittedly, you were pretty stupid for messing around with the scissors you found on the table, but you didn't really know any better. Anyway, who knew that hair took so long to grow back?

Other than that, you don't recall crying anymore. Throughout your middle and high school years, tears weren't really present to disrupt your life. Not even when Kuroo accidentally spiked a ball into the back of your head, and not even when Yaku accidentally kicked your shin because you were standing too close to his original target, Lev.

Lev.

Although you didn't find any reason for letting yourself cry during those years, you couldn't help but tear up when you remembered Lev. You were incredibly proud of yourself for counting up to five days without crying every since Lev left your shared apartment. However, today was Christmas eve. There were approximately three hours before Christmas, and here you were, spending it with Maika, on the balcony, crying your eyes out.

To be completely honest, you knew that it was your fault that Lev left. You were a rather independent person. You had a bold personality; Never afraid of being blunt to people, never afraid of telling others if they needed to be scolded. However, you were an absolute novice when it came to showing affection to Lev.

It was a surprise, to say the least, to the entire volleyball team that the cold-hearted manager, _____-san, was dating the eccentric and hyperactive first year, Haiba Lev. Yaku, Kuroo, and Kai were in shock upon hearing the news from Lev. At first, they thought he was just kidding, but when they heard it from you, their minds were beyond boggled.

-

"Eh?!"

"Seriously?"

"Kuroo-san, why do you look so surprised? You too, Yaku-san. And Kai-senpai, I didn't think you'd be interested in my love life as well." You calmly said, clipboard firm against your chest, as your eyes scanned the volleyball posters displayed in the volleyball club room.

"W-Well, I didn't think it was actually true because Lev was the one saying it. I thought he was just bullshitting us." Yaku admitted, scratching the back of his head before sending you a sheepish smile.

"You're growing up too fast, _____-san!" Kuroo quipped, wrapping his arms around you like a doting aunt, "You have a boyfriend now, I'm getting old!"

"Kuroo-san, please stop patronizing me. I have feelings too. Why does this come as a surprise to you all? Inuoka-kun and Futakuchi-kun also asked me if Haiba-kun and I were actually dating. It's not like I'm a robot or anything, I can... contract love too." Your disheveled form pried Kuroo's arms away from you, and you dusted your shoulders off as if Kuroo left dirt atop of them.

"You don't contract love, _____. It's not a disease." Yaku laughed at your poor choice of words.

"You, see _____-san, we just didn't think that you were interested in romance for the time being, and for you to be dating someone like Lev, it's surprising. In a good way, though, don't get me wrong. Lev's a good kid." Kai was the calmest of the bunch, but he was simply masking his happiness. He was the one who invited you to be their manager, after all. He saw how you grew out of your shell gradually. It's nice to see you enjoying the years of your youth, as Kuroo would put it.

"Ah, I see. To be honest, I didn't think I would also participate in a romantic relationship with anyone this early on. However, Haiba-kun successfully caught my attention. I think it would be a fun experience. Whatever happens, I get to grasp a further understanding of our Russian first year, and I also gain knowledge on the department of... love." You mentioned nonchalantly.

Kuroo, Yaku, and Kai all exchanged knowing looks; Something that screamed: "Are you sure you're not a robot?"

"_____-chan!" Lev's excited voice was heard from outside of the gym. The first years finally arrived, signifying that practice would begin soon.

"Pardon me. Thank you for your time." You bowed politely to the three seniors and walked over to where the first years were leaving their things.

"_____-chan I missed you a lot today! I only got to see you in free period earlier, and that was barely 10 minutes, but you're here now!" Lev was like a puppy. He was bouncing around, showering you with genuine compliments and adorations, his smile reaching the heavens above. Perhaps, if you pat his head, an invisible tail would wag? You considered the idea.

You managed to hold back a smile of your own, only replying with, "Get prepared for practice, Haiba-kun."

"_____-chan, you can call me Lev, you know? Since we are dating and all." The Russian said softly, wanting to get his point across, but not wanting to scare you.

"Maybe next time, Haiba-kun."

-

When you slipped inside your living room, you couldn't help but let out a few more sobs. There was a Christmas tree left half decorated just beside your television. Cans of tea and red bull were laying just on the feet of the couch. Half-empty and empty packets of chips were on the coffee table. God, you left the living room in such a messy state.

You pulled Lev's enormous (Well, it was enormous on you. But on Lev, it was the perfect size) jacket closer to your body, wishing you could smell his scent instead of the laundry detergent.

Maika wandered into the living room and onto her cat bed, stretching her paws and making herself comfortable before she went to take a nap.

You couldn't help but acknowledge the absolute dumpster fire when you saw yourself in the full body mirror near the entrance of your hallway. You were wearing a pair of fuzzy pajamas, an oversized shirt covered in stains and crumbs, and Lev's Nekoma jacket. Your hair was messy and ruffled, and you looked... pale. Eyes red and swollen, cheeks puffy, but your lips were white. You had never looked so awful before.

-

"_____-chan, you look amazing as always!" Lev came bounding to you.

"Congratulations on graduating! I'm so proud of you!" He took you in a tight embrace, lifting you up and spinning you around.

"H-Haiba-kun, please put me down!" You squealed, wriggling around in Lev's grip, trying to get away. For a split second, you could've sworn that Lev's face darkened, but you decided to brush it off.

Once your feet touched the ground, you managed to say a short and quiet "Thank you."

"Ah, this is really happening, isn't it?" Lev shoved his hands in his pockets, looking up at the cherry blossom trees in full bloom.

"Y-Yeah. It will even eventually happen to you too, Haiba-kun. It's the way that life progresses," You knew that you were pathetic at mustering a good enough reply, so you chose to fumble with the hem of your collar.

"Hey, _____-chan, do you love me?" Lev asked, suddenly serious. His gaze was still fixated on the trees above, their branches freely swaying in the wind, a few cherry blossoms fluttering down as the breeze carried them away.

A blush creeped up on your cheeks. Of course you loved him! More than... anything, if you were being honest. More than volleyball, more than red bull, more than anime, but why couldn't you say it?

"Speak up, damn it!" You thought to yourself.

After a few minutes passed, you were still tongue-tied. You hated yourself for not being able to express your feelings. There were already tears in your eyes, but you didn't want to cry in front of Lev; You vowed that you never would.

Lev looked down to see his senior in a low mood. "Don't worry, _____-chan! It's okay if you can't say it yet, I understand." Lev caught a single cherry blossom as it was falling down and tucked it behind your ear, " I'll wait for the day that you can say it back, so for now, I'll say it for the both of us, okay?"

You were embarrassed. You were such an asshole for doing this to Lev. To make up for your lacking skills in communication, you tapped his hand. Curiously, he opened his palm, and you placed a small object on top of it.

Lev's smile contained nothing but pure, concentrated glee.

"Thank you for the button, _____-chan, I will always cherish this. Happy anniversary. I love you so much!"

-

You found yourself standing at the doorway of your shared bedroom. You longingly stared at the queen-sized bed. The sheets were crisp and the pillows were fluffed. You haven't been sleeping in that bed since Lev left the apartment. It just didn't feel right. There was something about a heavier loneliness whenever you tried to sleep alone in that bed when you were so damn used to having Lev sleep beside you. That's why you've been sleeping on the couch ever since; It's uncomfortable as all hell, yeah, but at least you don't feel a large empty space beside you when you sleep. Maybe a few crumbs here and there, but that was bearable.

You pattered your way back into the living room, where your laptop lay buried under the empty chip packets. You grabbed it from underneath the rubbish and brushed off other residue before plopping down on the couch. You slipped your arms into the sleeves of Lev's jacket and opened up your laptop. You've been neglecting your uni works for the past days because your sadness just didn't allow you to function properly.

Upon entering your passcode, the black background of the loading screen faded into a photo of you and Lev. He was wearing a minnie mouse headband, and you wore the matching mickey mouse one. You were standing in front of sleeping beauty's castle at Tokyo disneyland. You were wearing Lev's gray hoodie, which made it look like you were wearing a really short dress because of how long it was. You were both smiling like idiots, and you recalled that that trip was one of the best of your life. You never usually smiled like that, but because Lev carried you bridal style and kept touching your sides, you couldn't help but squirm and smile in the photo.

Once again, tears were brimming in the corners of your eyes. The stinging pain of heartbreak and regret stabbing you over and over again.

-

"It's Christmas in five days, _____." Lev popped up from behind you while you were decorating the tree.

"Jeez! Don't scare me like that, I nearly dropped the lights." You replied, calming your racing heart. Was it because of how he scared you, or because of how close he was? Honestly. you couldn't tell.

Lev could only chuckle at this, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He gave you a kiss on the cheek. "You know, my first year at uni has been great so far. Thanks to you and a few of my friends."

"That's great then." You said, tone of voice returning to a monotone one.

"I love you, _____."

You couldn't even recall all the times that you froze up whenever Lev admitted his feelings for you, but add one to whatever number it's at right now.

You could only swallow your saliva and grip the lights tighter. Say it, ______, say it! You kept yelling in your head. Why can't you fucking say it?!

"I knew it." A low laugh was heard from Lev's mouth. His fists were turning white because of how hard he balled them up. His nails were digging into his palm. "Sometimes, I wonder if you even actually love me. But I guess you never did."

You turned your head abruptly. "Haiba, that's-"

Lev let out a hearty laugh, throwing his head back. "We've been dating for over three years now and you still call me by my last name. Are you that uncomfortable with me, _____-san?"

You cringed at how he emphasized the honorific following your name, probably trying to prove a point.

"You know that's not true."

"Of course it is!" He snapped. " For god's sake, _____, three years! Three years, and not once have you told me that you love me!"

You were on the brink of crying. No. No, not in front of him. You weren't weak, you weren't going to cry.

"In all those years that we've been together, I have never seen you cry. Not even when we're upset with one another. Are you... that cold-hearted that you don't care or you don't even feel anything? Not even for your own boyfriend?"

Silence.

The words he spat were like venom.

You couldn't speak. Your mouth felt dry and your throat felt like it closed in an instant, like some sort of invisible throat cover just squeezed itself right there, preventing you from speaking.

"I see how it is."

With that, Lev spun on his heel and went to their room. He grabbed a backpack and stuffed it with a couple of shirts, his wallet, his phone, charger, and other necessities. He slipped on the thickest jacket he owned and went straight to the front door.

"Le-"

"Goodbye."

He slammed the door shut.

-

That was probably the first time that you broke down in years. Who knew that it would be a guy behind your facade fading?

Who knew that Haiba Lev would be the one to make you realize that being strong-willed didn't mean being cold-hearted and nonchalant?

"Stupid Lev." You muttered to yourself, hugging your knees to your chest. Admittedly, his name seemed to roll off your tongue nicely.

You desperately tried to wipe your tears away, but they just kept coming.

"Why do I love you so much?"

-

"Lev, are you sure you're okay with what you're doing?" Yaku asked the taller male, taking a sip from his beer mug.

"Yaku-san, we've been together for a little over three years. They've never told me that they loves me. Never even cried. I think they're just that stone-hearted," Lev replied, taking a shot of vodka. "Either that or they're a fucking robot."

He fiddled with the necklace around his neck, contemplating whether he was going to pull it off and stomp on it until it broke. The charm attached to his necklace was the button that _____ gave him on back during her graduation day.

"Lev, you better listen to me, and you better listen real fucking good." Yaku's tone of voice was sharp, and it was something that Lev hasn't heard since his years at Nekoma. "You do know that _____ can't express their emotions well, right? They're blunt with everybody, and they're honest. But when it comes to love or romance or feelings that make them happy, you know that they can't show it as easily as you do."

"Yeah, I know." Lev answered quietly.

"But you do know that they love you, right?"

"I don't."

"You're telling me that you've never even felt that they love you?"

Suddenly, Lev's eyes shot open.

-

"Christ, you're going to catch a cold! Why the hell did you run out in this rain?!"

"Sorry, sorry! I just had to rush here to see you! I missed you soooo much!"

"Get inside and hop in the shower. I'll prepare some warm food for you while you're in there. There's a spare towel in the cupboard above the sink."

"Thank you, _____-chan!"

-

"Stupid beanpole. I told you to change clothes after practice yesterday, didn't I?"

"Sorry, _____-chan. I totally forgot." He coughed.

"Here, drink this medicine. I'll reheat your porridge and grab you a cold towel for your head. I'll also bring in the assignments that Inuoka gave me."

"You'd be a good wife, _____-chan. My wife, that is." Another cough.

"Shut up and rest before I hit you with this notebook."

"Yes, yes, darling."

-

"Where were you?! We've been looking for you everywhere!"

"S-Sorry, _____-chan. I saw this cat stuck in a tree and I just had to rescue it!"

"Don't go running off like that! Do you know how worried the team was? How worried I was?! I thought you were gone! Look at how many scratches you have on your arm. You need to go to the infirmary, now."

"I-I'm sorry."

"Just... Don't do it again, please. Always be in my line of sight."

"Yes, _____-sama!"

-

"Haiba, here's your water bottle."

-

"Haiba, the forecast said that there might be a downpour in the afternoon. Don't forget to bring an umbrella."

-

"Haiba, you left your books at the gym. Here. Jeez, don't be so forgetful next time."

-

"Haiba, here, I bought your favorite meal. Furihata said that you forgot your lunch at home. You can't go hungry."

-

"Haiba, you're doing well. Your progress report shows continuous growth. I'm proud of you."

-

"I'm a fucking idiot." Lev said. His emerald green eyes were filled with tears. "Excuse me, I have to go."

With that, he dashed out of the bar, leaving a confused Yaku with a drunk Kuroo passed out behind him.

The former libero could only sight and take a giant gulp of beer.

"Damn right you are."

-

You were full on crying right now. Approximately 10 minutes before Christmas, and here you were, crying on the couch. Maika had given up on comforting you, but remained by your side as you bawled you eyes out, offering some sort of moral support or assurance that someone was there for you.

However, a few moments passed, and Maika's ears perked up. She jumped down from the couch and made her way to the front door of the apartment. She lightly scratched the door.

"M-Maika, I'm sorry. I know I'm being too loud, I'll pipe down soon." The girl blubbered, blowing into a tissue.

As if on cue, there were multiple knocks on the door.

Fuck's sake.

You didn't even care that you'd be facing whoever is on the other side of the door while looking like this. Your eyes were puffier, the bags under them more prominent. Your nose was a rosy red color, cheeks flushed and tear stains were obvious on them.

"Who the fuck-?"

As soon as you opened the door, a sudden warmth engulfed your body. The familiar fragrance you loved so much flooded your blocked nostrils.

"Le-"

"I'm sorry."

There was silence.

"I'm so sorry for everything that I said, _____. I take all of it back. I know that you love me. Your love language isn't vocal and I should have been more accepting and understanding of that. I may not know your reasons for being the way you are, but I promise you that I accept you wholly. I'm so, so fucking sorry that I left so suddenly. I love you so much. I'm never leaving you again."

Sobs racked through your body. Your form was shaking in Lev's arms. He was surprised. It's the first time he's seen you cry, and it breaks his heart knowing that he's the reason behind it.

"I'm sorry, kitten. Please don't cry anymore."

"Lev," You started, attempting to calm down, and Lev swore his heart stopped beating for a second, "I love you."

For a moment, everything stopped. They could hear the neighbors yelling "Merry Christmas!" in their own units.

"P-Pardon?"

You giggled. "I love you, Lev. I'm really sorry that it took me this long to tell you. I guess I was just scared of telling you how I really felt because... I didn't want you to think that I was cheesy or..."

Lev cut you off with a kiss. It was short and sweet. He could taste red bull and barbecue chips on your lips, and you could taste vodka on his. It was imperfect, but it was yours, and you loved it.

"I love you so much, _____. This is the best Christmas gift I've ever received."

"I love you too, Lev."

"Come on, let's get inside. I bought some takeout for us to eat." He easily lifted you up with one arm and grabbed the plastic bag of takeout with his free hand.

"Yeah, about that," You buried your face in his neck, "I'm sorry."

"We'll... Clean up tomorrow." He chuckled, looking at the messy state your living room was in. "We'll eat in our room, okay? Why don't you get cleaned up first, and I'll prepare the things we need." He placed a kiss on your cheek.

"Alright, Lev." You replied, "Sorry for causing a lot of trouble."

"Don't be sorry, malishka. We're fine now, okay? We have each other and we understand each other better now." He set you in front of the bathroom. "Now, go ahead and shower! I'll get a fresh set of clothes for you and leave them out here."

"Thank you, Lyovochka." You grinned, using Alisa's nickname for him.

"Anytime, babe." Lev turned around to go to the bedroom until,

"Hey, Lev?" You showed your head out of the bathroom door.

"Yes, _____?"

"I love you!"

The, the door was slammed shut.

"_____, you're too cute!" Lev had to use every strand of will power he had to not faint on the spot.

Who knew that his kuudere partner was such a huge softie?

Maola mewled and rubbed her head against Lev's leg.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Maika."

[electrictoes]

Greater Than Being Loved

For @dailysvu’s Sonny Carisi Week

Day 3: Trust Relationship: Amanda Rollins / Sonny Carisi

Read on AO3

“Do you trust me?” he says it with a grin on his sun-kissed face, showing off his missing front tooth as he does so. He’s leaning forward, one hand on the first rung of the monkey bars and the other on Bella’s back. He’s stretching out, the soles of his sneakers bent against the warm metal of the platform they’re standing on.

Bella shakes her head, tries to step back from him, but his hand is firm on her back.

“C’mon,” he says, “I won’t let you fall.”

“You will,” she whispers, shaking her head again. “Sonny, I’m scared.”

“I’ll go first,” he says, “I’ll go backwards so I can see you.” He lets go of the bars and her to turn around, and Bella watches with wide eyes as he tips himself backwards, leaning off the platform just enough to grip the bar behind him, his back curved as stretches outward. Bella gasps out as he kicks off of the platform, letting his legs swing in front of him, holding himself suspended by the tight grip of his hands on the unyielding metal of the bar.

He glances over his shoulder, reaching behind himself to move another rung further along, Bella still watching with worry on her face. “C’mon, now you,” he says.

“You can’t catch me, Sonny. You’re swinging.”

“It’s safe,” he promises her, like he doesn’t have a purple bruise on his elbow from falling from these exact same monkey bars last week. He sighs, releasing his grip on the bar and letting himself drop straight down, landing roughly on his feet, the impact reverberating up his legs. “Bella,” he insists, looking up at her from the ground now, “Trust me, I’d never let anythin’ happen to you.”

She reaches one hand out tentatively, her eyes on him below her, and he yells up to watch where she’s putting her hands. He watches, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as she grips the monkey bars first with one hand, then the other. “Come on, Bella!” he says - proud of her for trying. She takes several deep breaths before she kicks off, her feet swinging beneath her, and a smile breaks out on her face that’s as wide as his is.

“I’m doin’ it, Sonny!” she says, and he cheers along with her. She reaches out a hand for the second bar, then the other, her legs dangling below her as she begins to move.

She makes it to the third bar with no problem, but when she stretches out for the fourth one she loses her grip, her sweat soaked hand slipping against the bar, and she’s dangling with one hand, panicking in mid-air even as he moves to stand directly beneath her.

“Just swing your arm back up,” he says, but he knows it’s not going to help. Bella screams as she lets herself fall - but he promised she could trust him, so he’s quick enough to sort-of catch her. It’s clumsy and awkward, he’s only a little bit bigger than her, but he does grab hold of her before she hits the ground, her leg connecting painfully with his stomach as he does so.

“I’ve got ya,” Even though he’s winded and he’s twisted his shoulder a little bit trying to catch her, Sonny is still smiling when he helps Bella upright on the ground, brushing wood-chips from her bare knees, “You okay, Bell?”

“You caught me,” Bella says with a smile, racing off to climb back up to the platform - she looks down at him with trust in her eyes as she stretches out to try again.

It takes another six attempts before she makes it all the way across, and Sonny has a fresh bruise on his chin where her foot connected with his face on her fourth try, but he doesn’t mind at all.

Sonny wants to be trusted. He wants to protect people, wants the people around him to know that he’ll do everything he can to keep them safe. He’s been that way for as long as he can remember - he’d taken his big brother duties very seriously when Bella was born - but that need to be trusted, to be a safe space, grew much bigger than always being ready to catch his little sister.

He’s reliable; he’s a confidant. His sisters tell him things they’d never tell their parents, never tell each other. They trust him to keep their secrets and to help solve their problems.

He was fourteen when he’d sat next to Gina on the bathroom floor, letting her squeeze the blood out of his hand while they anxiously watched for the lines to form on the at-home pregnancy test she’d bought at a drug store in Manhattan earlier that day. She’d come into his room, shaking and afraid. The, “Don’t tell Mom and Dad,”  that fell from her lips was an unnecessary instruction. Sonny could be trusted with this.

Mom and Dad had gone grocery shopping, and Bella was at a sleepover, so Gina had unlocked the bathroom door and tugged him in to wait beside her. He squeezed her hand back just as tightly, letting her rest her head against his shoulder, didn’t object as her warm tears dripped down his collar, “It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered to her, “Whatever it says.”

Her fearful tears had turned to sobs of joy when the test came back negative, and he’d hugged her, and promised never to tell a soul.

He was sixteen when he found his mother crying in the kitchen after school; she was sat at the dining table, her head in her hands. He knew by the quiet of the house that his sisters weren’t home; knew his father wouldn’t be back from work for a couple more hours. He’d walked tentatively towards her, whispered, “Mom,” carefully, so as not to startle her.

She had held out a hand and he’d gone to her. He’d sat with her, put his arm around her, comforted her like she had comforted him throughout his childhood. She had cupped his cheek in her hand, given him a watery smile, “Dominick,” she’d said, and he knew that this was something big. “Your father doesn’t know,” she’d started.

He kept his arm around his mother as she told him what she’d done earlier that day - about the unborn baby who would have lived a life only of pain, about the cruel situation she’d found herself in, and the only way she could see out of it. How she’d made a choice she never expected to make. They had cried together; he had grieved the sibling he would never have, but he had never broken her confidence.

Trust comes in different forms. Becoming a police officer was about trust, in a way. That same desire to be trusted. To protect. It’s not as black and white as that - the world doesn’t work the way it does in the movies, and people don’t trust him implicitly because he wears a badge. He has to earn it - has to show people they can trust him, and over time he thinks he gets pretty good at it - getting victims to trust him enough to open up, making perps trust him enough to let their guard down.

He has to trust his partner. Has to, because sometimes that’s all that stands between him and a bullet. As a beat cop, he trusts his partner - to an extent. He’s an old school cop who says things he probably shouldn’t, but his heart’s in the right place and he wants to do a good job.

As a detective, working homicide, he trusts his partner. He’s a good man, a good cop. But homicide doesn’t work out - he wants to do more. He wants to stop the murders before they happen - get people out of a bad situation before it gets worse. But SVU is hard, and he tries to find his place as he’s shunted from borough to borough, each time trying to fit in with the crowd he’s just left behind. But Manhattan sticks; once he loses the front - and the moustache, which in hindsight was as much of a mistake as Gina told him it would be - and grows into a better detective, he learns from the squad and they begin to trust him as he begins to trust them.

He’s never had a partner like Amanda Rollins though. Never had anyone in his life he trusts the way he trusts her. As a partner, first and foremost - she has his back on duty and off and he’ll have hers too. If he’s walking into danger he knows she’s by his side, and knows she’ll always protect him. He’d take a bullet for her without hesitating.

He trusts Olivia, and Fin - early on Nick, later Dodds, eventually Kat - and over time he trusts them with more than just keeping him alive on the job. With small parts of his personal life - first, he trusts them with Tommy’s case, then he starts to trust them with little parts of himself; stories, memories.

It’s still not like it is with Amanda. Amanda he tells things he’s never told anyone - he tells her about his first crush, about the embarrassing way he’d broken his arm when he was ten; he tells her his fears, his hopes. He lets her into all the dark places of his life. She trusts him right back. Not as readily, not as simply - but when she’s in hospital, pregnant with Jesse and afraid of the future, she lets herself cry in front of him and he knows. Knows that this bond is mutual and more than anything either of them have had with a partner before.

Their faith and trust in one another is put to the test more than once - there’s a sting of betrayal when he leaves for the DA’s office that threatens to close off the barriers he’s broken through. It doesn’t last.

He’s her safe place. She never says it aloud he but he feels it. Feels it in the way she trusts him with her children; feels it after Bucci when she collapses against him in the elevator, lets him hold her and he whispers that’s he’s got her; feels it at the hospital with her father hooked up to machines down the hall, and nurses and relatives assuming they’re together.

That trust goes both ways. It’s her he lets check over his injuries after his stay in the homeless shelter; it’s Amanda who wipes Tom Cole’s blood from his face, and it’s Amanda who’s there for him after Mia’s case goes sideways. It’s Amanda who’s by his side seconds after Henry Mesner comes at him in the court room, and it’s Amanda he calls at night when the dark is creeping into his head; it’s her he trusts with his fears as much as his triumphs.

He falls in love with her without even realising it. He just wakes up one morning and knows he’s done for.

And then - then one warm summer evening, the lights on the Hudson behind them, the sounds of a celebration just feet away, Amanda trusts him enough to take a leap - to press her lips to his and risk everything they’ve built to create something even better.

“Do you trust me?” he says it with a grin on his sun-kissed face. He’s leaning forward, arms dangling over the beach hut railing in front of him, the sandals on his feet skimming the sand covered deck they’re standing on.

She nods her head, taking a step closer to him, her hand sliding across his back.

“Good,” he says, “Because there’s somethin’ I wanna ask you.”

“Okay,” she whispers, nodding her head, “Go on.”

He pushes himself off of the railings, rolling back onto his heels as he looks at her. He doesn’t speak at first, his sandals make a quiet grinding sound as he steps back over the sand, only moving a few inches, still close enough that her hand stays resting on his back. He turns his gaze back to the beach; there are four wooden steps going from the front porch to the beach itself, and just a few feet away Jesse and Billie are building sandcastles - grains of sand are clinging to the remnants of sun block on their arms and legs, and Jesse had wound a beach towel around her shoulders as the temperature dropped, the sunsetting beautifully just beyond them, neither girl noticing, too caught up in their task.

He turns to look at her after a few seconds, that grin back on his face, “You know I’ve always got your back, right?” he says, and she moves her hand away, steps around so that she can rest both of her hands just above his hips, so that she can look him in the eye as she nods.

“You’ve mentioned it.”

He ducks his head, his cheeks pinking beyond the light sunburn covering his face, “Amanda,” he says, his voice serious.

“Dominick,” she answers, almost teasingly, then she smiles at him, “I trust you more than I have ever trusted anyone,” she tells him firmly. “Partners, right?”

“Partners,” he says with a soft smile, “I thought we might make it official?”

“You’ve got me,” she tells him, pushing up on her toes to press a kiss to his lips, his right arm winding around her waist as she closes the gap between them, his left making its way to her neck, drawing her in even as the girls turn, hollering with laughter and thinly veiled objections to the scene they’re making on the deck.

When they draw apart his eyes are locked on hers; he’s smiling at her with his whole face and he gleefully lifts her off the ground, just a few inches, her feet dangling in the air below them as he spins with her in his arms, laughing as he calls out to Jesse and Billie to come celebrate with them.

[lalahbug]

Guidance - Zuko x Reader Chapter 5

Fandom: Avatar the Last Airbender Word Count: 3,352

My Masterlist

Warnings/disclaim: General Mentions of sex and some somnophilia, 18+ Minors DNI Angst Author’s Note: under story ___ is a blank for your name/oc/whatever you prefer Written in 3rd person Line/header is to separate paragraphs to indicate time skips, as Tumblr hates my formatting. 

Story under cut, 5 of 8, Guidance Masterlist

         Days had passed, their passion, and Zuko’s hunger calmed as he took her anywhere he could. Finding the thrill of the possibility of being caught, a new high. Quick sessions were welcome, but nothing could compare to love making they would take their time with. But as the days passed his lust and desire dulled to a more normal and more manageable yearning.

Zuko was talking to his uncle about Appa, the Avatar’s lost bison, Iroh was lecturing him about his destiny again. ___ sighed and turned to clean up dishes from lunch. Then Zuko stormed out.

“___?” Iroh called softly.

“Yes,” she turned with a soft smile.

“That dish should be clean now, it’s been in your hands for about 10 minutes.”

“Oh, um,” she laughed and put it down.

“I’m worried about him too. I’ll keep an eye on him and bring him home.” Iroh stood up to leave.

“Please be safe.”

“Even if I have to bend, we’ll come home, okay?” 

“Thank you!” Her eyes watered with gratitude towards the loving uncle.

The front door opened as ___ was reading. “You’re home!” She got up to hug Zuko tightly.

“You did the right thing. Letting the Avatar’s bison go free.”

“I’m so proud of you,” ___ brushed some of his hair away from his face.

“I don’t feel right,” he seemed dizzy.

“You’re burning up,” he then collapsed onto her.

“Zuko!” Both of their voices rang out as she tried to keep him upright.

The next few days, ___ and Iroh watched over Zuko in turns, trying to keep him hydrated and blankets on him, to help him sweat it out. 

“My dear, you should sleep, I can take a turn.” Iroh placed a hand on her shoulder. She nodded solemnly, before lying down next to him and keeping an eye on her love as she started to drift. Iroh made some tea for himself and Zuko.

___ woke up without Zuko next to her. She sat up and looked around for him before going into the main room.

“Good morning, my love,” Zuko smiled at her while eating some jook with his uncle who was eyeing him cautiously.

“Morning,” she leaned down and kissed the top of his head. The fever was gone. “You seem happy,” she said hesitantly before sitting next to him with a bowl of jook for herself.

“Why wouldn’t I be? It’s a new day. We got a new apartment, new furniture, and today is the grand opening of Uncles’ tea shop. I have a wonderful fiancé. Once we’re settled here with the new shop, we should start planning the wedding.” He took her hand and kissed it with a smile.

She eyed him and glanced over at Iroh, who only shrugged. “We don’t need to rush a wedding; we can just enjoy our time and this peace.”

“We’ll plan it when you’re ready then,” he kissed her cheek and got up with his bowl. “Are you done Uncle?” Zuko gestured to the bowl in front of Iroh.

“Yes,” Iroh handed it to Zuko, who walked away and started washing both of the bowls. “Thank you, Prince Zuko.”

“You can just call me nephew, Lee, or Zuko, no need for the formality, we’re family.”

___ smiled at Iroh, although a very different Zuko, and she was worried but she still loved him. Iroh smiled back, but she could tell he wasn’t quite ready to accept this new Zuko without some wariness.

Iroh was preparing to serve tea for the Earth King, but something about it worried him.

“___, my dear, would you be willing to watch over the shop while we go to the King?”

“Oh,” the small disappointment escaped her before she smiled. “Of course!”

“Uncle, I doubt she wants to be left alone,” Zuko pouted at the thought of her alone running the shop.

“I’ll be fine, remember your manners and best uniforms,” she kissed his cheek.

“Of course, my love,” he rested his forehead against hers. “Don’t over work yourself.”

She sent them off with a loving smile.

“___, come with me!” Iroh burst into the tea shop.

“But the shop!” She yelled as he pulled her away.

“You serve the last of the tea, once out, close the shop!” Iroh shouted at an employee before running off with ___ in tow.

 They were outside a house and Iroh knocked gently. “Glad to see you’re okay,” Toph said with a smile, to Iroh.

“We need your help,” Iroh asked sincerely as he saw the Avatar. 

___ had kept quiet while Aang and Iroh tunneled down.

“Sorry I haven’t introduced myself,” Aang gave her a soft smile.

“I know who you are, Avatar, I’m sorry to meet you like this. I’m ___, I’ve met Avatar Roku before. And if I’m meeting you now,” she trailed off. Iroh and Aang looked at her. “We all need to be very careful.”

“You’ve talked with Roku? How?” Aang looked at her.

“I’ve been to the spirit world. I’m supposed to help you with getting in touch with the spirit world when needed.”

“That would be amazing, after we save the Earth Kingdom, please come with us.”

“I can’t promise anything.”

“Why? If Roku said you were supposed to help me.”

“The angry jerk we’re going to save, is my fiancé,” she touched her necklace in thought of Zuko.

“You’re the waterbender that was healing Iroh in the desert!” Aang finally called out remembering her.

“Yes, I have duties to you both. I love you both. You are my destiny; he is my future. The world needs you, Zuko needs me.”

As they broke into the catacombs, Katara ran into Aang’s arms and ___ ran into Zuko’s.

 Iroh and ___ were kept within crystals as Azula and Zuko talked, ___ only tear up, knowing her future, the one Roku had told her long ago was about to come true.

As Zuko left with one last glance at them, her tears fell.

“Dear, it’ll be okay, we’ll get him back,” Iroh tried to calm her down.

“Iroh, Roku let me know, my future while I was in the spirit world.” She looked up trying to blink back the tears. "Today Aang will fall and my lover will leave me.” Iroh’s eyes went wide.

“Close your eyes, I’m going to get us to the Avatar.”

 Running never seemed important until today, she had stamina but adrenaline pushed her worried legs faster. Oxygen didn’t seem necessary until she gasped for air as her legs tried to slow. She pressed on, Iroh not to far behind her 

As her feet hit the opening, she shouted for Zuko, but once she saw Aang ascending and Azula behind him. Her scream turned for Aang, as her heart took over her hearing, the vibrations of her own body moving was foreign. Adrenaline burned out as she stumbled towards Aang. The last thing her mind registered fully was the lighting sticking Aang.  ___ collapsed, her vision blurred, the last thing she saw was Iroh standing in front of her, protecting her and Katara, so Katara could escape with the Avatar. But ___ could hear Zuko’s panicked cry for her. She already exhausted her strength, vision gone, coldness spreading, so she welcomed darkness as it took her. She felt her body move, a warmth beneath her enveloped her. She heard her name and a soft sob, happy to hear his voice one last time. Darkness consumed her; unable to see, feel, or hear. She was gone, mind and soul.

        Brightens of white, hushed voices, stinging pain, ___ opened her eyes, but could only see lights and blurred objects.

“She’s awake, alert Prince Zuko,” someone shouted.

Although she was weak, her adrenaline rushed once again at the sound of her lover's name.

 “Where is she?” She heard his voice, when he didn’t see her in her bed.

“She’s backed herself in a corner, guards are trying to calm her down,” Mai said in a bored tone before walking over to him.

“___?” Zuko’s eyes found hers, but the hurt and confusion in her eyes stopped him in his steps towards her. He had broken his promise, the Avatar is dead.

Zuko took in the situation, her back against a corner. In a defensive stance, 3 guards on the floor, likely chi blocked. 3 others surrounding her.

When his golden eyes met hers again, he saw tears. He followed her gaze to Mai's finger, as she hung off his shoulders. Then to his own hand. Both of them wearing identical rings, as his father had put their arranged marriage back onto course. Now that Zuko was the rightful heir of the throne. 

His heart felt like it was being stabbed as she dropped her stance then removed her betrothal necklace. She let it fall from her neck, not bothering to catch it. The ringing noise it made in the connection to the ground, echoed in his ears. Ringing continued as he realized, she was no longer his. She let the necklace drop because that’s how she felt. That he just dropped her, left her.

Her eyes were glued to her feet as guards and nurses got her back into bed. Zuko got a glimpse of the large open wound on her back. As if she had been the one shot down by Azula. While a nurse changed her bandages.

Eventually he realized a guard was talking to him, asking if she should be moved to a cell. 

"No, she's my friend, let her stay here, until she's healed."

"That will be awhile Prince Zuko," a nurse informed him as she finished changing the women's bandages.

"She is a guest of Prince Zuko," he commanded around him. "She was scared to be in an unfamiliar place, you will forgive her for being defensive."

"Of course, Prince Zuko," they chimed around him in acknowledgment.

He heard ___ scoff a bit at the unison of servants.

"Do you have something to finally say?" Mai spat at the wounded woman. 

She turned her head slightly to give Mai and Zuko an icy glare. Even though Mai didn't really scare easily, she still hid behind Zuko, from the glare. 

As everyone who was unneeded in the infirmary left, Zuko took a moment to go over and scoop up the necklace. Thankfully it wasn't damaged or chipped, he turned to see ___ laying down, staring at the ceiling, with a blank and cold expression. Zuko walked to the side of her bed. 

"You've been unconscious for weeks, I'm glad you're awake." He touched her hand softly, but she pulled her hand away as if he shocked her. 

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly. 

Finally, her eyes moved to his aZbigniewnd he fought the overwhelming urge to comfort the pain he saw in her deep and open eyes; the pain was emotional and physical. 

"She's in a lot of pain, but we can't give her pain medication." A nurse finally answered for her. Her eyes moved back to the ceiling and he could see the open door of her eyes cut off the emotion once again. 

"Why can't you give her pain medication? She's in pain, that makes no sense."

"We did give her some when she arrived, but a blood test showed she's pregnant so we can only give her so much without harming the baby."

Zuko’s head swirled, pregnant, the baby. Her baby, his baby, their baby. His eyes snapped to hers but there was still no emotion. Then his eyes drifted to her flat stomach. 

"She's only a month or so along. She won't show for a while. Could you notify the father? Being her best friend, I would assume you would know the father." 

"I do," Zuko whispered before looking at her face again, she was sullen and unexpressive. "Let me know if there is anything she or the baby needs." With that Zuko left to put in a request to see his father, to end the arranged marriage. Seeing his love close off to him, opened his eyes a bit. He needed to fix this, have her by his side again. But the Fire Lord had no openings until the morning.

As Zuko put on his best clothes to attend the request he'd put in to see his father, a guard knocked on his door.

"What?" Zuko answered the door annoyed as the guard was there too early to escort him to the Fire Lord.

"Your guest is gone," the guard panted out, as he'd run all the way there. "She took down over 38 guards, with the full moon, her chi blocking and waterbending, she was unstoppable.

"She left?"

"Yes, but she also left a note for you." The guard extended the rolled scroll to him.

"I will walk myself to my meeting with my father, you may go." Zuko slammed the door shut and quickly opened the parchment.

My dear Zuko,

I hope you find your way and your destiny. I am going to mine. If your life ever has a need to cross mine, I hope we'll be able to see each other again. 

Don't fret over the baby, we'll be safe and fine without you. Live the life you want.

Your friend,

___

Six simple sentences, no anger, no love, just hope of good life for a friend. It would have hurt less if she left without a note, so he could still have hope. Hope she still loved him, that he wasn't too late, but she ended with friend, his friend.

He sunk down to the floor and put his head in his hands. He had to fix all this. Find her, beg for her forgiveness, he wanted to fix everything. 

___ was in a fire nation town, in proper fire nation clothes, that she stole in her escape. Looking for Aang, Roku said he would be here, that he’s okay.

“Hey pretty lady, you look lost. Can I help you?” Some guy, who looked like high schooler, was hitting on her.

“Thank you, but no. I’m looking for a friend.”

“I can be your friend,” he smiled at her.

“I really appreciate the offers, but I’m not in the mood to pretend to be nice right now. So please leave me alone.”

“Fine,” he spat before heading back to the school.

Her gaze followed him, to make sure he wouldn’t come back, when she saw Aang. With hair? A headband? She quickly walked up to him and grabbed by the arm pulling him away from the crowd.

“___?” Aang blinked and rubbed his eyes.

“Aang,” she sighed happily.

“How did you find me?”

“Roku said you’d be here. I’m ready to help you, with the spirit world and maybe even the Avatar State.”

“That’s awesome!” He pumped his fist in the air. “But what about Zuko?” He asked quietly.

“He,” she trailed off before inhaling and steeling her emotions. “He’s engaged to someone else now. He doesn’t need me. But you do, right?” A bit of her insecure state slipped through the cracks as she looked at Aang’s pitiful eyes. Aang nodded then gave her a cheerful smile.

After school, Sokka was lecturing Aang for even going. But once he deemed it okay, Aang then introduced her to the rest of the Gaang.

“She’s been with Zuko. How can we trust her?” Katara eyed her.

“Zuko left her, for someone else.” Aang said trying to ease the tension Katara had at the mere mention of Zuko.

“I understand you might not trust me. You don’t know me. But I’ve never attacked any of you, and I never would. My destiny is to help the Avatar with connection to the spirit world and the Avatar state. My relationship with Zuko is over, he broke his promise.”

“What promise?”

“That Aang wouldn’t die, although only briefly, he did die, the promise broke.”

“Then what took you so long to come to us, why now? Why before the eclipse?” Sokka was weary, but there as not malice in his tone, unlike his sister 

“I’ve been unconscious for weeks, I guess. I’m still not healed. I’m in a lot of pain. But once I woke up, there was a full moon that night. I used the energy from the moon to mask my pain to come here.”

They all looked at her, Sokka and Katara still judging her, Aang and Toph, looked confused. Old feelings of being unwanted tried to surface, especially with the sting she still felt from Zuko being with another. Her eyes closed tightly, trying to shove it all down, she wasn’t going to cry, not now, not ever. Not over him, not again. She needed time to process more to work through the emotions, before they worked through her.

“If you don’t trust me, there is no reason for me to stay. I’ve heard you broke the stupid traditions in the North Pole. So thank you for that, I might be able to go home now.” She bowed deeply to Katara, a gratitude she wanted out in the open before leaving. The wound on her back however was not forgiving of the motion. She collapsed with a pant of pain. Aang was quick to help her up.

“How did you get the wound on your back?” Toph asked, her voice rougher than ___ thought it’d be since she was so small.

“I’m not sure, when I saw Aang get shot down, I went down too. I remember being in so much pain, and Iroh protecting me as Katara left with Aang. Next time I opened my eyes, I was in the fire nation. Zuko called me a friend, a guest, but I couldn’t stay, knowing he didn’t need me anymore. Doesn’t love me anymore than a friend.” Aang was still supporting her as she looked away from the group, the pain seethed through her spine again. Aang supported her and made sure she stayed up.

“Katara, can you please heal her? If you guys aren’t okay with her here, I understand, but I can’t let her go home like this.”

Katara’s eyes softened at Aang’s plea. Thinking back on ___’s words, they all were true. She never helped Zuko attack them, she was and did collapse in the crystal catacombs. Then she bowed even while in pain to show respect.

“I’ll take a look and then we can talk about her situation.”

Aang smiled as he helped move ___ into the cave so Katara could look at the wound, privately. 

“How is she?” Aang asked as Katara came out.

“She’s asleep, I healed her the best I could, it’s so similar to where Azula struck you, but I treated you immediately. As far as I can tell they only kept it clean, hoping it would heal. It was infected. I don’t even know how she was walking so well.” Katara sat by the fire with the others.

“She’s very sad too,” Toph whispered. “She never lied, but every time Zuko’s name came up, I could almost feel her heart throb and break. She misses him, but I don’t blame her for not showing it. Trying to move on.”

“Well if she’s not lying,” Sokka started. “I think she’d be beneficial to Aang, once she’s better of course.”

“She is hiding one thing,” Toph stated. “She’s pregnant, she has two heartbeats. One always steady and fluttering, hers was the only one changing beat.”

“I didn’t think Zuko was such a monster.” Katara spat. “She’s carrying his child, but still he leaves her for someone else. His actions are disgusting.”

“I think we should let her stay with us, at least for a while.” Sokka stated as he felt bad for her too.

“Yeah, she stays with us,” Katara smiled softly. “She needs someone who wants her, even if just as friends.”

“Well I truly do need her. It would be nice, to have the Avatar State back, or at least to have an easier way to get into the spirit world.” Aang smiled back at Katara and they all nodded in an agreement.

Author’s Note: Sorry if you’re not into the whole pregnancy thing. I fought with myself over and over about having it or not, in the long run, I clearly decided to roll with it. This chapter is so choppy with me trying to explain shit to get where I want this story to be/go.Believe it or not, it was like 3 times worse before I started the revision. I hope you still enjoyed it. Still rewriting the last chapters, but I promise they are better than this chapter aha

[obxlife]

Trapped (JJ x Reader)

A/N: YAY I love JJ requests! This one is a bit out of what I usually write (if you couldn’t tell I love writing fluff lol) so I was super happy to try writing real angsty again. It was kind of hard but whatever. I really enjoyed writing this and can we talk about what a sweet request? Like yes, I love you too, anon! Also I worte this right after doing a histology quiz that I thought I was going to fail which I didn’t so YAY!

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Word count: 5,821

Request: Hiya! I love you’re writing so much, you’re so talented!!! Hotel Madness is my favorite JJ fic ever. I was wondering if you could do something where the reader & JJ break up but still have feelings for each other & the pogues come up will a plan to get you guys to makeup, exactly like they did with Sarah & Kie where they locked them on the boat? Could it be super-duper angsty but a fluffy ending? If not it’s okay, thank you for taking the time to read this, ily, hope you’re doing well!!!

Summary: It’s been two months since you and JJ broke up. The rest of the Pogues come up with a plan to bring you back together. 

Warnings: ANGST, swearing, mentions of JJ’s abuse, mentions of weed and alcohol, and fluff at the end.

TRAPPED

If you had to guess what JJ Maybank was doing right now, it would be getting high along with the rest of the Pogues.

You hadn’t seen any of them in two months, and you missed them. 

You had met them a year ago when you had bumped into them in one of the many keggers they had organized at the Boneyard. You and JJ had hooked up that night and would continue to do so for a while before you would have feelings for each other. 

Your first date was a month after you had met him, and it had been everything you had ever wanted. JJ had taken you out onto the marsh and prepared some food for the both of you, which you enjoyed until the sun went down. It was the exact kind of break you needed from your Kook life. 

From then on, your relationship seemed like heaven. You met the Pogues (for real and not because they had walked in on you and JJ), you had learned about his home life, you had taken him to your house to meet your parents, everything. Your life was a fairytale and you loved every second of it.

But then, two months ago, JJ became distant. More than ever. And you had no clue as to what you had done wrong or what had caused him to pull away. You thought everything was going perfectly between you two - actually, you were just about to tell him you loved him. But then he pulled away and you began to fight and everything fell apart.

It began with him changing your plans, asking for rain checks every time you were supposed to see each other. Then, when you would find him (because you had to go to the Chateau to find him), it would be screams. For two whole weeks, you would fight every single time you two were close, and everybody (meaning the Pogues) was growing sick of it.

“Why do you keep pushing me away?” you yelled at JJ the last time you had entered the Chateau. “Why do you keep ignoring me?”

JJ had groaned from where he had been sitting on the pullout couch. He pressed his hands into his face, trying not to get angry but not managing to do so. “Why are you always on my back, Y/N?”

This made you even madder. “How can I possibly be on your back if I have no clue what to be on your back for? We haven’t spoken in weeks! I have no idea what’s going on with you.”

“Nothing!” JJ shouted, standing up and throwing his green hat down. “Nothing is wrong with me!”

“Then why are you shutting me out?” you yelled. You noticed the three other Pogues outside, sitting near the hammock, covering their ears. Your shouts could probably be heard in a three-mile radius.

“I’m not!” the boy yelled back at you. 

“My ass, you’re not.”

JJ sighed, not really knowing what to say. He sat back down on the pullout couch pressing his hands to his hair. You bit your lip, your arms crossed across your chest as the both of you calmed down. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t keep doing this,” JJ muttered out. You were shocked. You would have never thought of ending things with JJ. 

“What?” you voiced out weakly. 

“I - I don’t know. I just - I feel like we hurt each other more than help,” he turned to look at you while saying this, and you were sure you could hear your heart breaking. 

You began to shake your head as you approached him. You tried to take his hands into yours but he pulled away. “Don’t say that, J. Don’t - don’t throw everything we have away.”

Tears began to stream down your cheeks and you could see JJ’s eyes watering. 

“I don’t know what else to do,” he whispered. He resisted the urge to reach out towards you, but he knew this had to be done.

“What do you mean? We can fix this!”

JJ only shook his head. You tried to reach out for him again, but he pulled back. “No, no. I - I need you, J. Please don’t do this.”

JJ stood up and stepped back, a single tear falling down his face. He wiped it away before you could even catch a glimpse at it. With his back turned towards you, he said, “I’m done, Y/N. We’re done.”

Before his tears could fall down he had left. You stood up from where you were, numb at what JJ had just said. This is it, you thought. You began to collect your things and headed out of the Chateau. 

“What happened? Where’s J?” John B asked, coming closer towards you. You shook your head, a tear finally falling down from your eye. You shook your head and pursed your lips, willing yourself not to break down. 

“Um, we broke up.”

The shock on their faces was something you would never be able to remove from your memory. They thought you and JJ were going to last forever because you were perfect for each other. Hell, everyone thought you were going to last forever. 

“Why?” Kie asked. You sighed, letting another tear fall. You tried to wipe it away hastily, but everybody had seen it. 

“I - I don’t know. We just broke up.”

The Pogues had taken a step forward to hug you, but you stepped back. “I’m gonna go. Tell JJ I’m sorry.”

And with that, you had turned around. The Pogues watched you drive off before moving into the Chateau. 

Tears fell from your eyes for the following two days, until you felt dehydrated and had no more tears to cry. Then you drank some water and cried some more. 

You couldn’t understand why JJ had done what he had done. How could he end everything so suddenly? And with no reason?

You didn’t leave your bed for a month. You would lounge around and your mother would check up on you and beg you to move but you wouldn’t. It wasn’t until your best friend, Meg, came by that you went out. 

“Oh, God, when did you last shower?” she had said when she had walked in. You didn’t reply but instead shifted around in your bed. As a result of your movements, some used tissue fell down from your duvet. 

“Okay, so, what? This boy breaks up with you and you become Shrek?”

Her teasing made you smile just a bit. “He was the love of my life.”

Meg laughed at this. “You’ll meet the next love of your life soon enough. Let’s just get you up and at it again so you can have the chance of meeting him.”

She was tugging on your arms, making you sit up. “And let’s also get you fixed up so that he will want to meet you.”

Soon enough, you were walking down the streets of the Outer Banks again. You avoided places you knew JJ would be, such as the Wreck and the Cut in general, and you would lounge around with your friends for most of your time. They would beg you to go out and party but you would always deny their offers, not wanting to bump into JJ.

Slowly, but surely, you thought you were getting over him. Until you bumped into him and you found out you were not. 

He had been in Meg’s backyard, cutting the grass, when you had walked up from the dock with Meg. Once you saw him you froze, not wanting to be where you were. He seemed to freeze when he saw you too, and before he could open his mouth to talk to you, you had run off inside of Meg’s house. 

JJ turned to Meg, coughing awkwardly. He noticed the death glare the redhead was giving him, and he wished he would be swallowed by the Earth instead of on the receiving end of her wrath. 

“Um, how is she?” he asked, unsure of wanting to hear the answer. Meg rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Better than when she was with you,” she replied harshly, running forward towards her friend. JJ somehow doubted what Meg had said was true, but a small voice in the back of his head told him, She probably is doing better without you. 

After that, you had tried to go out more with your friends, but partying was painful. It reminded you too much of JJ and all of the things you would do with him when you went out to party. 

All you wanted was to be in his arms again.

****************************************************

JJ hadn’t left his room for two weeks since the break up when the Pogues had made him get up. They couldn’t understand why he would break up with you if he was going to be this hurt about it.

However, JJ knew exactly why he had broken up with you. It had been fear. Complete and utter fear of his feelings and your feelings. He knew he loved you - deep down he did - but he didn’t want to admit that to himself. He didn’t want to be any more vulnerable than he was, and you made him that. You made him let down his walls and be himself in a way that made him afraid. You held so much power over him without even knowing it. 

He had come to realize all of this a month before he had broken up with you. He had tried to create a breach between you two because he thought that if he pushed you far away enough you would break up with him. He realized this was a futile attempt when you would constantly call him and try to get a hold of him. He tried to ignore you, drowning the guilt of leaving you hanging in alcohol and weed. He tried to distract himself from you, hiding his phone away and putting some distance between the object and himself.

But then you began to show up at the Chateau. You began to ask questions, and each time JJ would feel himself wanting to wrap his hands around your body and telling you how he truly felt. Panic would rise between from within his bones at that thought, and he would close himself off again without even opening up to you. When he noticed just how much pain he was causing you he knew he had to end it. He couldn’t get past the fact that it was him causing you pain and that he was the cause for your tears. He hated it and himself. 

So he had decided that if you fought three more times before you broke up with him, then he would do the deed himself. The first time you fought he had dreaded you even saying such words that would end your relationship. JJ knew he didn’t want that, but he didn’t want to be vulnerable more. The second time you fought he had been disappointed you hadn’t called the relationship off. He knew you deserved better than him and what he was putting you through. Why couldn’t you see that? The third time you fought he had built enough courage inside himself to say, “Maybe we shouldn’t keep doing this.”

“What?” you had asked him. The pain in your voice almost wanted him to take what he said back, but JJ knew that, eventually, breaking up would be the best for both of you. He could go back to living less in fear and you would meet someone better than him. 

“I - I don’t know. I just - I feel like we hurt each other more than help.”

JJ was trying to make you understand. He wanted you to understand that you were going to be better without him.

Soon enough, JJ found himself laying on his bed, and tears rolled down his cheeks and neck and chest. They left a burning trail of guilt and shame. Why are you crying?, he thought to himself. You broke up with her, so suck it up.

Soon the Pogues had flooded into his room, but he begged them to be alone. They had never seen JJ cry the way he was crying. Not even after an episode with his dad. 

He continued to cry for a long time. Even after Pope and Kie had gone home. Even after John B had gone to bed. Even after the sun had risen from the sea. 

JJ stopped crying the following afternoon when he decided that enough was enough. He got up, grabbed a beer, and got higher than he had ever gotten. All he wanted to do was get you out of his head.

And so for the following month, he spent his days drunk to the point where the Pogues were afraid for his health and didn’t know how to help him. They planned an intervention, which they did the following day.

JJ had walked into the Chateau’s kitchen only to stop dead in his track. Kie, Pope, and John B stood before the fridge, blocking it. 

“Hi, JJ,” Kie spoke out. “We need to talk.”

JJ scratched his head, a bit hungover, and said, “Okay? Can I get a beer first, though?”

Pope and John B each placed a hand over JJ’s shoulders. “No, you cannot,” the dark-skinned boy said. 

They pushed JJ back onto the pullout couch, where he tumbled back, a little angered now. 

“What are you guys doing? Just let me get a beer!”

JJ tried to break through the wall his friends had created, but their combined force pushed him back. “Not until you tell us what the hell is going on with you JJ.”

JJ remained quiet. “Stay out of my business,” he mumbled suddenly.

After a lot of bickering and pushing around from the three brunette Pogues, the blond finally confessed. 

“It’s Y/N.”

John B scoffed at his, now calm, friend. “Yeah, we kind of figured that much out.”

Pope glared at John B before taking a seat next to JJ. “Why did you break up with her?”

JJ shook his head, realizing how stupid he had been before. He shouldn’t have broken up with you. “It’s stupid.”

Kie leaned down before him, wiping his tears away. “You can tell us, J.”

And so JJ did. He told them about how he felt vulnerable around you and how that scared him. He told them about how in love with you he was and how you deserved someone better. And then he told him about the break-up. 

“You’re an idiot,” John B said after JJ stopped speaking. 

JJ sighed. “I know.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Kie asked the blond, whose hands were in his hair and tugging on it. 

“I don’t know.”

Pope stood up and stood next to John B. “I’ll tell you what you need to do,” he belted out, a tad bit aggressively. “You need to stop being an idiot. Sober up and get back on your feet. And get her back.”

John B nodded, then said, “God knows she was the best thing that has ever happened to you, JJ.”

JJ nodded. He stood up and got to work. He headed to the bathroom and took a much-needed shower. He cleaned his room and threw all of the beer cans into the trash. And then he went into town in search of some odd jobs he could do. He was getting his life back together.

Soon enough he ran into a Kook that was willing to pay to get his lawn mowed. JJ gladly accepted and found himself in the Kook’s garden that same afternoon. As he was running the lawnmower up and down the garden he heard it. The most angelic sound ever. Your laugh. 

He turned to find you with Meg walking up the dock. Fuck, JJ thought. He hadn’t noticed that the Kook he had spoken to was Meg’s dad.

JJ watched you walk away, regret building up inside him. He thought you looked beautiful even if he could feel the pain radiating off you. 

“Um, how is she?” JJ asked, unsure of wanting to hear the answer. He really did want to know how you were, but he didn’t want to hear about you having a bad time. Meg rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Better than when she was with you,” she replied harshly, running forward towards her friend. That answer didn’t make him a feel any better, and even though he doubted the truth in Meg’s words, he couldn’t help thinking, She probably is doing better without you.

That afternoon he had returned to the Chateau feeling down, and John B could tell. He was lounging around with Sarah when the door had busted open, JJ walking in with a frown. 

“How was your day?”

JJ shrugged. “I bumped into Y/N.”

John B sat up straighter, pulling his arm away from Sarah’s body and leaning forward. “How did it go?”

The blond shook his head. “I’m never getting her back, bro.”

And then JJ left into his room, locking himself in there for two days.

During those days John B had been concocting. He had called Kie and Pope around to talk.

“We can’t let this go on any further,” he told them. “JJ loves Y/N and he’s been shit ever since he broke up with her.”

“Which he was an idiot for,” Kie muttered softly. 

“Agreed,” said Pope. “Plus, I kind of miss her. She was fun. And she made JJ more tolerable.”

Kie nodded. “We need a plan to make them get back together. Or at least get some type of closure.”

And so the Pogues (minus JJ) got to work.

******************************************

It was the first day you had been alone since Meg had walked into your room and forced you to stand up. Your phone had suddenly begun chiming and going crazy from many texts that you were receiving. They were from John B.

You frowned while opening your phone. You had only talked to him a handful of times since you and JJ had broken up, so you were surprised to see him flooding your phone. 

John B: Hey Y/N we kind of need your help

John B: And before you say no, JJ isn’t here

John B: I’m picking you up in five

John B: At the dock

John B: Don’t make me go get you

You sighed knowing that if the Pogues needed you for something then they really had no one else to turn to. You grabbed your bag from your chair inside your room and headed down to the dock. Before leaving you grabbed some snacks from your cabinet, not sure how long this was going to take.

Before you could sit down at the end of your dock, John B had pulled up in the HMS Pogue. He stopped the boat as you hopped on, revving the engine again. 

“Why did you need me?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Kie almost drowned! We didn’t know what to do but we managed to get her breathing again. By then Pope was freaking out and I know you volunteered to help at the lifeguard station at that big beach in the mainland. You learned how to deal with almost drowned patients right?”

Your eyes widened as John B recapped the story. You nodded your head, worried for Kie.

You pulled up next to Heyward’s boat, where you could see Pope freaking out inside. 

Climbing onto Heyward’s boat, you walked inside to see only Pope. You were confused. “Where’s Kie?”

Before you could even blink, John B and Pope had grabbed onto you and held you high in the air. 

“Hey! What are you doing?” you screamed and tried to break out of their arms. 

“Just shut up for a while and you’ll be fine,” John B said. You saw Kie pulling open the hatch in the floor of the deck of the boat. 

“Are you guys kidnapping me?” you shrieked. You were shocked at what was going on.

“It’s for what’s best for you!”

They dumped you under the deck of the boat as gently as they could as they closed the hatch. You stood up and pounded against the floor of the deck. 

“Open up, you guys! Please!” 

They ignored you. You tried to listen to anything that could be going on outside, but all you could hear was silence. 

You felt like hours had gone by before you felt footsteps around the hatch again. You tried to strain your ears and listen to what was going on. 

“Hey!” you heard a male voice from the outside. You jumped up at this and began to hit the hatch once again with your balled-up fists.

“Get me out of here, John B!” you yelled. The hatch pulled open, revealing a blond boy you were avoiding. Your heart stopped in your chest as his eyes widened. 

“Are you kidding me?” you climbed out, pushing JJ’s helping hands away. You reached the railing of Heyward’s boat to see John B, Kie, and Pope on the HMS Pogue, waving tauntingly at you. 

“Have fun!” one of them yelled out. 

“What the hell is this?” you yelled out throwing whatever you could grab from inside your bag at them.

“Try to make up or something! There’s food in there and we left you some weed so JJ can roll a blunt,” Pope screamed just as the boat left. 

You turned towards the blond boy, asking for some type of explanation with your eyes. He raised his hands up in innocence. 

“They tricked me. I swear,” he said. You rolled your eyes and walked past him sitting down inside of the boat’s cabin. There, you pulled out a snack from your bag and began to eat, deciding that there was nothing better to do to pass the time. 

JJ had taken a seat outside, trying to give you space. He had decided that if you wanted to talk, he would gladly reply. He didn’t want to pressure you to be in his presence. JJ began to play with his lighter, which he always had on himself, to pass time.

Sooner than later the sky had turned dark and the stars were littering it. JJ had not moved from his spot and he knew that you hadn’t too. He had been stealing glances at you every now and then, just to make sure you were still on the boat and had not decided to swim away from it. His stomach grumbled and JJ eyed the food on the table of the cabin. It was next to you. He tried not to give in to the temptations, but he simply couldn’t take it anymore.

JJ walked in, wringing his hands together. He reached for a pack of cookies on the table, noticing they were your favorites. Instead of opening it, he offered it to you. You took it into your hands without making any eye contact with him. He grabbed onto a sandwich instead.

After a while - or actually after a sandwich - JJ was satisfied. His stomach was no longer grumbling. 

He turned to look at you. JJ wanted to talk to you, but he didn’t know how to start. 

“Hey,” he began. He sounded awkward and uncomfortable. You didn’t even reply. “How are you?”

You scoffed at his questions, before turning your back to him and continuing to munch on your snacks. 

“I’m good, JJ. What about you?” he said in an extremely high pitched voice. You turned around to look at him, offended. 

“I do not sound like that.”

JJ was glad that you had turned around. His smile made you feel butterflies in your guts, and you almost slipped and smiled back. 

“You kind of do, though.”

You glared at him again and turned back around. You continued to eat away.

“So, Meg said you were doing alright. Is that true?”

You didn’t want to answer. 

“I hope it is. I really want you to be good.”

You were now angry but for real this time. Why did he break up with you then and pretend to care now?

“Stop pretending like you care about me,” you grumbled out. 

JJ hated how bitter the words sounded. He hated that they were directed to him. He had never been treated this way by you. 

“But I do care,” he said softly. He didn’t want to rile you up, but he wanted to be honest with you. He wanted to be more honest than he had been two months ago. 

“If you care so much you shouldn’t have broken up with me!” you belted out harshly. The words were supposed to make him hurt, but then why were they hurtful to you, too?

JJ moved his eyes towards the ground. His fingers were playing with his ring which let you know he was nervous. You could see the sweat that was accumulating at the edge of his forehead and you noticed some blush rising up to his face. 

“I regret it, you know?” he started. His voice was soft and weak and vulnerable. It reminded you of when he spoke to his dad. You stayed firm with your posture, not turning to look at him. 

“I regret it more than anything. All I want to do is take it back and be honest with you.”

Your eyes softened, hearing the pain in his voice. You wanted to be strong, but JJ was your only weakness. You spun around towards him for the millionth time that night.

“I didn’t know what I was doing when I broke up with you and I ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I don’t know how to fix it.”

You couldn’t bear the pain in his voice. You reached your hand out, touching his arm as gently as you could. 

“You can tell me now.”

JJ nodded his head, composing himself. 

“I didn’t know how to be with you. I was in love with you and that scared me. I didn’t like being scared of what I felt so I tried to push you away. I wanted you to break up with me because I couldn’t even imagine myself breaking up with you. And when I thought my plan was working you tried to ask me what was wrong. And every single time I wanted to tell you that I loved you, I would panic. I felt like I was trapped in a room with my dad, but my dad had the shape of my feelings. I didn’t like being vulnerable or weak and you were my weakness. So I tried to push you away hoping that you would finish our relationship.”

Tears were streaming down both of your faces. You couldn’t believe this was the reason JJ had broken up with you. You couldn’t believe you had been blind enough to not see he was scared of what you made him feel.

“And then, that - that day you showed up and you were being more pushy than usual, which you shouldn’t feel guilty about, but I just couldn’t bear the pain I was putting you through. I knew you were blaming yourself for what I was doing. So I thought that breaking up with you would end that. I thought that it would only hurt for a short while and that then you would be fine. So I did it. I broke up with you because I truly thought it was the best thing to do. I was angry at myself for having made you suffer that last month of our relationship, and I knew you deserve better than that so I decided that breaking up with you would give you that opportunity.”

You shook your head at what JJ was saying. He had gotten it all wrong. He was the best thing you could ever deserve. He was everything you wanted. 

“No, J, I -”

“Let me finish, Y/N,” he interrupted you softly. Your hands were now latched onto each other’s and your bodies were so close you could almost hear his heartbeat. 

“I was a mess, baby. I was drunk all the time because I felt guilty and I couldn’t get you out of my head. And I was like that for two weeks until John B, Kie, and Pope gave me a stupid intervention.”

He stopped to breathe and think. 

“Actually, it wasn’t stupid because they convinced me of how wrong I had been to break up with you. And so I wanted to get back together with you. But first I wanted to work on myself a bit. I went out that day and found a job to mow a lawn. I didn’t know it had been Meg’s lawn. But then you walked into the garden and you looked more beautiful then ever and all I wanted to do was reach out to you.”

“But I ran away.”

JJ nodded. “Yeah. And I was sure that you never wanted anything to do with me. And I know you probably still don’t -”

“JJ, I -”

“But I need to get this off my chest so listen to me. I love you, okay? And I’m sorry that I messed up so much that you hate me now. But if I could take it back I would. I want you back and I want what we had back. So I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m an idiot that never does anything right and that always has to ruin everything. I just need you to know that I truly am in love with you.”

JJ was panting from his speech, and you were in shock. 

“JJ, I - I don’t hate you.”

JJ looked up from where he had been staring at the floor to look at you, shock and excitement in his eyes. His tears and your’s were flowing down your cheeks, but small, soft smiles adorned your faces. 

“Actual, maybe I hate you a little bit.”

You both chuckled. 

“But I love you JJ. I am in love with you too. And I’ve also been a mess since we broke up. Meg had to drag me out of my room after I had been locked in there for a whole month. And when I finally went out, you were all that I could think about. I would go to the beach and think about you and your stupid surfing, or I would pass by the Wreck and think of all of the times we went there together. And after seeing you that day on Meg’s lawn, things only got worse. I forced myself to go to parties but all I could think about was you and me messing around at all of the keggers we had organized. And all I could think about was you.”

You were silent for a while, your hands together in a tighter embrace than before. You were quiet and looked back at JJ hoping that he would say something - anything.

“You love me?” he asked. You laughed at him as he shifted closer to you. 

“That was all you got out of that?”

JJ smiled at you, his hands moving to cup your face. It had been so long since you had felt them there that you had to pinch yourself to make sure it was real.

“Say it again,” he pleaded out in a whisper. 

“I love you, JJ.”

And with that, he kissed you. He kissed you as he had never once kissed you before. It was passionate and rough and soft and loving at the same time. It held every word unsaid up to that moment and everything that should have been said two months prior. His hands never left your face as you wrapped your hands around his neck. 

When you broke apart, JJ wrapped his hands around your body. He sighed, happy, as you wiped his tears away from his face. 

“I’m sorry for everything we went through,” he spoke into your hair. 

“Me too.”

*********************************

You awoke the following morning on the floor of the Heyward’s boat, a strong arm wrapped around your naked body. 

You were so happy that you and JJ had made things right and gotten back together. It felt meant to be, and the happiness inside of you was evidence of that. 

JJ’s arm was pressing you into his body, but you shook it off and stood up, getting dressed. You began to rummage around the food the Pogues had left you, trying to find something decent for breakfast. 

“Y/N,” a groggy voice called out. You smiled down at the blond boy, shoving some cookies at him. 

“Breakfast,” you pointed out while sitting down next to him. He pulled himself onto your lap, taking your hands and placing one on top of his head. You understood the message and began to rake your fingers through his soft hair. He opened the cookies, moving one near your face so that you could eat it before grabbing one for himself.

You smiled at the boy across you. His hand was rubbing circles into your thigh and you felt at peace. It was as if those two months apart had helped you become a better couple. You felt more connected to him than ever.

“We should get up,” JJ whispered out, not actually wanting to do so. “They’ll be back for us soon.”

You nodded your head, tapping his arm so that he would stand up. You handed him his clothes while he got dressed. Then, he pulled you close, pressing your back into his chest, swinging around with you. He pressed his mouth to your cheek, squeezing your waist and earning a giggle from your mouth.

Ever since you had confessed your feelings to each other JJ had not taken his hands off you. It was as if the time you had spent apart made him deprived of human touch. He wanted to make up for it now. 

When the Pogues finally arrived to get you, Kie smiled at how you had JJ’s hand in your own, his arm draped over your shoulder, and your other hand across his waist. 

“Did it work?” John B asked even if the answer was obvious. 

You smiled up at the blond boy who was already looking at you. Love in both of your eyes. 

“Yeah, it did.”

You hopped onto the HMS Pogue, sitting at the bow with your boyfriend. You smiled at Pope, Kie, and JB, grateful. 

“Thanks for keeping us trapped in there,” JJ spoke out what you were both thinking. 

“Anytime.”

The small boat turned around, and JJ pressed a kiss to your forehead. He was never going to let you go again.

[its-ya-boi-autumn]

Alright, you asked for it, you got it, Part 4 of my yandere Feitan series~ honestly I feel like this is more so soft yandere rather than intense. I could do better, but as long as you like it~ And you also deserve it for being so accepting of me recently ❤️ If this is kind of out of wack/order it’s because I started writing it and reallllyyyyy got into it but just kept writing and not really thinking so if it’s weird I apologize, but I did have one single goal in mind for it

An incoherent cacophony of voices plead from the room below you. Over the last year and a half, blocking them out had proven difficult, though not impossible. In fact, sometimes they were comforting, even if you knew exactly what was happening. Feitan had brought a couple over not even twenty minutes after you’d woken up. They had been unconscious and slung on either side of a different man’s shoulders. He didn’t bother to introduce himself yet you didn’t mind. You’d ask Feitan later if it has seriously began to eat at you. Likely, it wouldn’t.

The young man and what you supposed may have been a friend of Feitan’s were heard to be shouting profanities and the woman could be heard wailing, though you couldn’t exactly make out the words of the men’s argument, too focused on the little white butterfly fluttering about the dead dandelions in front of your window. Eventually, silence clouded into your mind. Whether Feitan had offed them or you had gotten too good at blocking them out was unbeknownst to you.

Your eyes followed the butterfly back and forth, up and down, around the dead flowers and grass. It seemed so unbothered by such an ugly sight. It wasn’t too common for them to be wandering about the area, though occasionally they popped up here and there, accidentally bumping into the glass but quickly recovering. Just like you. It was almost like a hyper focus on the creature. So small and frail, such an innocent insect. It didn’t think much of pain or misery. It’s only objective was to survive. Eat. Fly. Live. A small part of you in the back of your mind wished for that simple objective. Well, you guessed you had it, though it seemed a lot harder as a sentient being. What with the pain of mental situation rather than just physical stimulation.

Once the butterfly flew away, you came back into focus of your world. The realization of your situation, the familiarity of Feitan’s cabin closing in on you. Your head sank, the sound of screams causing your ears to ring. Your hands covered your ears and you jumped up and left the room. Your breathing had sped up in the slightest and your legs wobbled with the numbness of sitting in one position for too long. You swung the bedroom door open, not bothering to close it behind you–though it bothered Feitan to no end–and headed straight down the hall for the bathroom, where you shut the door quietly and stepped into the tub, not bothering to turn the light on. Your body sank against the wall while you tucked your head between your knees, legs beginning to shake and hands sweating over your ears. Blocking them out wasn’t hard, but when you came back into focus, for some reason you panicked. You hadn’t realized you were crying until you heard yourself sniffle. Why were you crying? You didn’t feel unsafe, you didn’t have sympathy for these people. You’d heard many people die down there, this wasn’t a new thing for you. Why were you so upset?

Eventually, silence spread across the cabin and footsteps clambered up the stairs. You attempted to quiet your sniffling and stop your leg from bouncing off the porcelain of the tub. Feitan and the other man stomped down the hall to his room, stopping at the doorway.

“Where’d she go?” the other mans voice penetrated the silence. It was rough and husky, though no where near comforting or worried. It sounded agitated at your absence. You took a quiet deep breath, waiting for Feitan’s answer. Nothing. The door handle to the bathroom wiggled before knuckles rapped at the door.

“Y/n?” Feitan asked through the wood. Your hands left your ears and rested on your cheeks.

“Yes?” your voice wobbled slightly in attempt to be loud enough.

“Unlock the door.” the command startled you. He didn’t sound harsh or forceful, just a rough way of asking. Slowly, you stood from your position, trying not to trip over the wall of the tub as you left it. You steadied yourself against the wall before shakily reaching out to unlock the door. Afterwards you retreated backwards, hugging yourself and sitting on the floor against the tub. The door opened gently as not to spook you, though the other man seemed to be rather impatient with Feitan’s slowness. You glanced up at him, red-eyed and trembling, knees folded against your chest in front of you. His eyes softened for just a moment before hardening again. He sighed.

“What is it this time?” he asked, coming over to crouch down in front of you.

“I-I’m not- I don’t-” you stuttered over yourself, trying to think of an answer before he grew impatient. He didn’t rush you, simply staying crouched in front of you.

“I think it’s- the- the- um-”

“Oh come on. Spit it out already!” the blonde man shouted through the door. You jumped at the sound, banging your funny bone on the side of the tub. A whimper escaped your mouth at the initial shock it caused.

“I don’t like the screaming...” you hurried to say as to keep from upsetting the other man, who rolled his eyes at your answer. Feitan gave you a perplexed face. 

“I was zoning out just fine and then I couldn’t... block it out...” you trailed off to Feitan, who was surprisingly listening to you intently. He stayed crouched down in front of you, now sitting on his knees and turning to the door.

“Phinks you can leave now.” he spoke in his soft tone. Phinks didn’t seem very happy about this order, though he left anyway, the front door slamming behind him. You remembered that not even a few minutes ago he was annoyed by the fact that you weren’t where you were supposed to be. It made your stomach churn. Feitan turned back to face you and stood up.

“Come.” he turned and left you there, expecting you to follow, which you did. You struggled to stand upright for a few seconds before making it out the door and back into the room where Feitan was sitting on the bed, removing his cloak and throwing it into the hamper next to the bed. You kept close to yourself in the doorway just in case he was upset about something. He was awfully calm and collected right then though, so you assumed you had to of been safe. He beckoned you to come to him with his hand and sat on the bed, fiddling with something in his pocket again. You closed the door, moving to sit next to him on the bed.

“The screams bother you, yes?” he started, turning to face you again. You sniffled, nodding your head as your hands played with your fingernails, picking at them gently.

“I thought you said you found them comforting not even a few nights ago.” he started to pry at you little by little, figuring out what had upset you. Your shoulders shrugged.

“I- I don’t know I just... um...” you were just as confused. You’d been nothing but confused for the last few weeks. Staying with Feitan for so long has turned your kidnapping into an almost completely normal home life. You didn’t feel trapped or lonely in any way anymore, I’m fact you thought you were beginning to like it here, or at the very least get used to it.

 Feitan hummed, averting his gaze from your face. You didn’t make to return it either. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and head down. You wondered what he was thinking about. How to deal with you? You could only assume your discomfort in his hobby was more than inconvenient. Would he shove you down in the crawl space again? It wouldn’t help, but you didn’t know if he’d care. In fact, he might do it just for the sheer fact of you sharing that bit of vulnerable information. You regretted telling him anything at all.

After a few moments of silence, he stood again, leaving you alone in the room. Thinking. Your legs closed tighter and you hunched over yourself. Had you just made a fatal mistake? Should you have just kept your mouth shut? Trembling sensations trickled along your spine and branched to every other bone in your body, muscles spasming slightly and goosebumps tickling your arms and thighs. You shut your eyes to block it out and covered your ears again. You didn’t know what he problem was, just that it was beginning to break you. Something sick twisted against the lining of your stomach, nausea suddenly flooding your mouth with saliva. You were going to vomit. Immediately you rushed to the bathroom again, doubling over the toilet. The thought of his fingers toying with whatever was in his pocket intruded your mind in the midst of your misery. You had to find out what it was. Tonight. Whether he told you or not. 

You finished up and cleaned your nose and chin, standing to make way back for the room. Swallowing roughly, your legs carried you back to the bed, sitting at the edge once again. Feitan came back in, shutting the door behind him and standing in front of you.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.” he spoke softly, “I’ve noticed a change in your behavior over the course of the year, so I’m going to give you a choice.”

His words confused you. For once, you had a choice. His pale hand reached into his pocket, pulling something out. When he opened his palm, you noticed not one, but two items. One a golden key, it’s ridges rusted from overuse and age. The other, a silver ring with a single miniature gem on top. It looked similar to that of diamond. You took a glance up at him then back at his hand. A light gasp emitted from your lips. 

“Wh-”

“I’m letting you make a decision. Right here. Right now.” he dropped to kneel in front of you. Your hands fisted the sheets as your lip wobbled. A choice.

“You can take the key, I’ll give you the nearest location to stay, and you can leave. Or, you can take the ring, and stay with me. Safe and knowing you have someone to feed you and...” he trailed for a moment, “love you...”

The first instinct in your brain was to snatch the key and run. Leave and never come back. Your legs were already bouncing. at the mere thought of it. Yet something in the back of your mind tugged at the idea of staying with him. Guaranteeing what you considered to now be your safety and your home. It had been so long since you’d seen anything outside of these walls and that fence in the back yard. You could go back home, see your mother again. The necklace felt warm against your skin.

“Do I have time to at least think it over?” you tried, forcing yourself to meet his eyes. He stared back at you, then gently shook his head.

“I need your answer now.” he stated flatly. You took your bottom lip between your teeth, thinking. The cons outweighed the pros in staying with him and yet it felt almost wrong to leave him here. It felt wrong to run from him. It felt wrong to be free. You reached a hand out for the key, urging yourself to take it and make your choice. The choice to live happily. Even if alone. But something in his face twitched, just for a second. His brows knitted in sadness and the corners of his lips drooped. Your breath caught in your throat as your body tensed. You couldn’t leave him, not like this.

The ring was cold and heavy in your sweaty palm.

[solarwriting]

missing in action

john b and sarah are missing and their family is left wondering and hurt

y/n groaned as she sat up, confused by her surroundings. she heard clicking, jj flicking his lighter. she was at the wreck and her brother was believed to be a fugitive and she didn't know where he was or if he was okay.

"he's definitely been pinched." jj muttered.

"don't." y/n said suddenly, "don't you dare say that."

kiara cut in, "we don't know that. plus we were in that car with him so they're probably looking for us too."

pope walked out of the building, "i'm going to go get gas."

kie followed him out and tried fo talked to him, pope revving the engine of his bike to drown out her talking. he drove away leaving everyone else behind. jj walked over and sat by y/n, "i'm sorry, y/n."

y/n bit her lip as her eyes filled with tears, "w-we don't know," she swallowed, "if they got him. right? he's with sarah a-and we're gonna see him when we get the phantom to him, okay?"

jj stayed silent as he wrapped his arms around her, her head resting on his chest as she silently cried. he rubbed her back and let her cry. y/n sniffled and pulled away from him, "i'm fine. let's get food for him. they need food, right?"

jj cleared his throat, "yeah, they'll need food."

jj, kiara, and y/n grabbed some food, enough to last two people a few weeks. the trio went out to kiara's car, they need to get the keys to the phantom. y/n got in the back seat as kiara and her mom argued.

"i'm sorry miss anna be we got to go." jj said, moving to get into the passenger's seat. kie and her mom continued to argue, her mom telling her how dangerous it was right now.

"i'm sorry, mom. john b needs me!" kie screamed, slamming the car door and driving away. they drove to jj's house where he got the keys to the phantom.

jj jumped back into the car. "how'd it go?" kie asked. jj held up the keys that hung from his fingers. he looked like he was about to cry. y/n sat up from her seat and wrapped her arms around him and the seat from where she sat in the back.

kie pulled up to the the storage space the boat was at, "you coming with?"

y/n shook her head, "i-if you don't need me. i just need to sit for a little bit."

jj and kiara nodded, getting out of the car. they needed to hitch the boat to the car and get it to the dock. jj was going on about how perfect the boat was, "lets just say you wouldn't be smokin' weed if it weren't for this boat."

kie was about to respond when she heard the revving of an engine, "pope, finally!"

rafe and barry walked our from behind the boat. "where's my money?" barry asked, pulling out a gun.

kiara tried to get away but rafe grabbed ahold of her, "i know what you did! you killed sheriff peterkin!" she slapped him and rafe grabbed kie and began choking her.

"don't you ever say those fucking words again!" he shouted.

barry threw jj to the ground, kicking him repeatedly, "where's john b? i want my money!"

y/n heard the comotion and jumped out if the car, "get off of him!" she screamed. she grabbed the nearest object, a pipe and hit barry as hard as she could with it. he groaned and crumpled to the floor, then gun flying out if his hand and allowing jj to get up.

pope had showed up around this time and hit rafe getting kie away from him. she kicked the gun and screamed as pope continued to hit rafe. he grabbed a hose and had it wrapped around his neck, choking him.

"pope, snap out of it! jj yelled.

pope returned to reality, dropping rafe and the hose, "stay off the cut." the four left a bloodied and beaten rafe and an injured barry and headed toward the dock where they were supposed to meet john b.

"where is he?" kie asked.

"he'll be here! just give him a minute." jj said. they all stop when they heard sirens, "get in the boat."

a sheriff's car pulled up and the door opened and john b stepped out, "shoupe let me take it for a spin."

"john b!" y/n shouted, running forward and grabbing onto her brother. john b wrapped his arms around her tightly, he buried his face in her hair before kissing her on the top of the head.

"hey, i'm okay and you're okay. okay?" john b said softly.

y/n nodded before pulling away. the two walked toward the dock and john b stopped before getting into the boat, "where's sarah?"

"she's not with you?"

"n-no, no. we got separated at the swamp. i can't go without her." john b said.

"look at me, i know you feel bad for leaving but there's no time. you have plenty of gas and plenty of food." jj explained. he continued to explain how to get to the dismal swamp and instructed john b to lay low for a few weeks but y/n had spaced out.

she was brought back to reality when she said, "i'll go with him."

"what?" kiara muttered.

"no, y/n. you can't. you need to stay here." john b explained.

"no! i-i'm going with you. i don't want to lose my brother again!" y/n rushed for the boat but john b motioned for jj to grab her and with the help of pope they held her back.

"no! john b! don't leave me here!" she screamed as john b drove, "come back! take me with you!" she continued to scream until her voice cracked and she was choking on tears. she crumpled into jj and pope let her go. she cried into jj, still mutter, "don't leave me here. i need my brother."

cop sirens were soon heard and the four were now surrounded by shoupe, an sbi angent and a bunch of other cops and armed personel. y/n wasn't really sure what had happened, it was all a blur as she was pulled into the back of a cop car and taken to a tent where many cops and agents were.

her ears were ringing as she was taken to sit. she was next to jj and the only thing she knew was that he was there, holding her hand. she was no longer crying but she knew if she tried to speak, her voice would betray her.

after sometime she was pulled out of her seat by a gentle tug from jj, shoupe and a few other cops had just walked in. "did you find them?"

"no." shoupe shook his head.

"so they got away?" kiara asked. a feeling of relieve washed over the four for a moment before they saw the look on shoupe's face.

"we lost them. i'm sorry. they took an open boat into a tropical depression."

"so they're dead." kiara asked.

"we don't know." shoupe said. y/n felt her legs stop working as she crumpled to the ground, sobs shaking her body.

"you drove them straight into the storm!" jj yelled, lunging towards shoupe. y/n stayed on the ground as jj continued to yell and police officers held him back.

y/n stood up on wobbling legs and looked at shoupe, "m-my dad is dead and sheriff peterkin found the person responsible for that and now she's dead. so, to cover his and his son's tracks, ward pinned it on my brother, okay? my brother is gone because you don't know how to do your job!" she then tried to lunge at the sheriff but kiara grabbed and she collapsed once again.

jj grabbed onto y/n and held her as they both cried. y/n couldn't speak, she screamed so much her voice was almost completely gone. kiara ran to her mom and dad and hugged them, crying out apologies. pope did the same with his parents. y/n pushed jj off of her and moved to sit on the chairs by herself.

jj stood there unsure of what to do but then found himself tied into a family embrace with pope and his parents. he and pope cried as they were held and y/n sat there feeling like she had been a cried out.

she looked up at shoupe who was still standing there, "where's ward cameron?"

shoupe looked surprised but before he could say anything y/n spoke again, "j-just let me speak to him. that's all i want to do. okay?"

maybe it was because her brother was most likely dead or that her dad was dead or maybe it was because shoupe had a feeling deep down in his gut that there was more to this than what was in the surface. whatever it was shoupe nodded and lead y/n to another tent where ward sat.

he looked tired, exhausted even, but y/n didn't care. she walked up to him and hit the table, a loud bang alerting ward and any cops or sbi angents of her presence.

"listen," she started, her voice hoarse. "i just wanted to let you know that you may be smart, covering your tracks and all. you know, killng my father, leaving him for dead in the sea, protecting your son by blaming a murder he committed on my brother. but here's the thing, you forgot about one loose end, me. and guess what, you have no more cards to play, no murders to frame me for, so guess what. you. lost."

y/n turned to face the lead sbi agent, "hey, you look inortant. ward cameron killed my father and rafe cameron killed sheriff peterkin." her voice began to trail off as he continued, "h-he's the reason m-my brother's dead."

her legs gave out from under her and she collapsed, wars tried fo catch her but she was quick to object, "don't fucking touch me."

the lead sbi agent was close enough that he was able to catch her and help her to a chair while she cried. jj, pope, kie and their parents soon entered the tent where y/n was crying. jj rushed to her side and replaced the agent and held her as she sobbed.

"come on, y/n. you can stay with me, okay?" kiara said softly, grabbing y/n's hand.

y/n whiped her face as she nodded. "okay," she said, her voice cracking. kiara nodded and wrapped her arm around y/n's shoulder's. kiara's mom was quick to stand on her other side and help walk y/n to her car.

pope's father turned to jj, "come on, son. you're stayin' with us tonight."