#crying because he’s scared he’s actually dying he isn’t sure he’ll make it through the night

[bitchapalooza]

I just realized; WHO TOOK CARE OF BRANCH WHEN HE WAS SICK IN THE BUNKER 😭 who stayed up checking on him, who monitored his temp, who made him soup, who held him through the night and sang soft lullabies, who encouraged him to take his disgusting tasting medicine, who was there for him when he needed them most

[dragoncxv360]

I decided I wanna make some info posts about my characters and stories and stuff, so I’m gonna start with my Security Sun AU

Sunflowers and Stardust is the canon story/timeline. I haven’t completed any chapters yet so I haven’t posted it

Blood and Oil is an alternate bad ending and is just…really dark. It deals with a lot of things I’ve had personal experience with such as loved ones dying and all the grief that comes with that. To be honest, I actually feel like it’ll help to get all those feelings written out as something that’s not what actually happened to me.

But anyways, back to the canon story. (Also sorry that this won’t be very organized, I am very adhd so my thoughts are everywhere.) In this story, Sun and Moon originally started out as one attendant, Eclipse. At some point during the testing phase, they split into Sun and Moon and their design was modified to fit that. Sun was assigned security and Moon was the main face of the daycare. These were their designs at the time (I’m still working on them so there might be some changes):

Sun enjoyed being security, maybe too much. He was ruthless with intruders and staff. He didn’t hesitate to resort to violence. Staff were terrified of him. People started disappearing. Eventually, staff started finding the bodies, what was left of them. Sun had been eating them (which was totally added ‘cause of That One Fic Where Sun and Moon Eat People). Soon after, staff confronted Sun and told him they were taking him off of security. He fought hard when that happened, tearing any staff apart that managed to get near him. Finally, they were able to tie him down and shock him so he stopped fighting back.

He and moon woke up later in parts and service, with a different body and different face. Moon had been put on security in Sun’s place with safety protocols put in place to keep the same mistake from happening again. They screamed and screamed when they realized and through it all, they couldn’t cry or do anything but smile. They looked like this (about, this is old art so there would be some differences):

The years after that were the hardest they ever had. They both hated their new bodies and new duties. They tried to destroy themselves and every time they got close, they woke up in parts and services, put back together and with more safety measures put in place to keep them from doing it again. Eventually they stopped trying and just gave up on doing anything. They refused to come out of their room to take care of the children. The daycare was shut down.

And then the virus happened. Moon became violent and lost his connection with Sun. He wasn’t himself and he wasn’t aware of what he was doing. Sun would wake up covered in blood and it scared him because his Moon had never been violent, had never taken part in the things Sun did. He knew something was wrong with Moon, but with no access to his lover anymore, he had no way of fixing things. And that’s when the events of the game happened. Sun was panicked when the power went out ‘cause he had no idea what Moon would do to Greg and he had no way of keeping him safe.

I’ll need to read more about the different endings to see which would be the best fit for this AU but I know for sure it isn’t a fire ending

The virus is eventually fixed and Moon is back to being himself. He has vague memories of what happened while he was “gone” and they terrify him. He gets flashbacks and they scare him and send him into panic attacks where even Sun can’t calm him down. When the daycare opens back up, he’s terrified that he’ll hurt the children again. It takes a long time for him to stop feeling so panicked around the kids and to get back into the swing of things.

Eventually, Mary (she/her) and Alex (any pronouns) are hired as Sun and Moon’s new techs. They start helping to get Sun and Moon in better working order and eventually ask them if they’d like to be split into separate bodies. Sun and Moon are hesitant at first but they eventually decide they would like that. Mary and Alex get their input on the new designs and try to follow their wishes as much as they can within the limits corporate gave. Their final designs end up looking like this:

In some ways, they like being separated and in other ways, they regret it. They love being able to touch and kiss and hug. But they miss being one, they are only half an AI each after all. They’re meant to be together and they can’t function without the other, it’s why they ended up loving each other so much. (And why Moon losing Sun in Blood and Oil hurts so much.)

And I think I'll end this post here now. Hope you enjoyed reading it

I almost forgot but I have a playlist for blood and oil

[moxleys-darlin]

Memories of a Stolen Place

Pairing: BCC Polycule, Claudio/Bryan/Moxley/Yuta/Regal

Summary: Memories of the past invade his present.

CW: panic attack, self harm, angst

Disclaimer: I don't claim anything but the idea; characters (unfortunately) and gifs aren't mine.

I'm dying and crying... but @sinderellanightwolf ungrounded me from writing angst! We'll see how long that lasts... 😈 Title is from song Waves by Dean Lewis

(Gifs aren't mine)

“Darling-.” Mox raises his hand to stop him. 

“Don’t please. I know it's a storyline, Lo-William, but Seth's wasn't and it’s too much right now. I just need some time. " Regal goes to speak but Mox stops him again. "Away from you, Regal. I'm sorry."

Yuta still has his arm around Mox’s waist and steers him toward where Claudio and Bryan are huddled with the newly returned Elite. He doesn’t see his Pup throw a look over his shoulder at their older lover basically asking for him to understand, all he can focus on is making it to the group ahead. His head is pounding and his thoughts are screaming at him, pouring memories best left in the past. He doesn’t realize they make it to the huddle until he flinches at a hand touching his face and looks to see Kenny’s sad smile. 

“I’m sorry Mox I know what you’ve been through, but he isn’t Seth. He’s still here and he’s still yours, okay?” Kenny lifts his hanging head and touches their foreheads together, lowering his voice. “He’s not Seth, Jon, he loves you and you know that. Don’t do this to yourself.” Mox sighs and jerks his head away. 

“I’m not a fuckin’ idiot Omega. Just let me get checked out and go get some sleep.” He pulls away from Yuta and starts toward the medical personnel. “You three stay with the old man. I’ll head to the hotel and get a shower after I’m looked at.” He snarls when he sees the sad faces of his lovers especially the face of William further away. “I’m fine! I know he’s not Seth, I know he’s still ours, I know this is a goddamn storyline. I just- I want some time alone, okay?” 

Mox can hear muttering behind him as he storms away. “I’ll go with him and make sure he actually gets checked out.” Matt scoffs and chuckles. “His effing growling doesn’t scare me; I got this Yoots I promise. He’s all growl no bite even like this. Let me handle your feral boy.”

Mox snarls at Yuta’s hurt response and his heart clenches because he knows he caused it. His thoughts scream louder and he almost drops to his knees at the throbbing of his temples. He hears Matt closing in on him despite him speeding up.

“You don’t have to help me princ- Matt.” He almost throws up at the nickname. 

“I’m not doing this for you Jonathan, Yoots is worried you’re gonna snap and destroy everything around you. You know he’s not actually betraying you right? It’s just a storyline and he’ll be going home with you after every show.”

Mox stops so suddenly that Matt almost runs into his back. His breath starts coming faster and heavier until his eyes blur. The voices start coming faster and faster. 

“Dean Ambrose is a lunatic” "... he's face down in a ditch." "... they were just business partners."

He throws himself into the wall next to him and starts punching it until the voices quiet themselves. He can vaguely hear Matt talking to him and trying to stop his hands from flying until one of the medical staff come and help him. They lead him to a bed and sit him down, but his mind is as blank as his stare.  

“… get you to your locker room… empty… shower… wrap.”

He shakes his head. “What?” Matt sighs and helps him up before putting an arm around his waist. 

“I said I’m going to take you back to your locker room because it’s empty, you’re going to take a shower and get comfortable, and then I’m going to wrap your hands so your boys can take you back to the hotel.”

“No.” 

“Jon-.” 

“I said no Matt. I want my boys and I want to leave. We can wrap my hands and I’ll take a shower at the hotel with them, but I want them now.” He reaches out and grabs Matt’s wrist, eyes widening and breath picking up. “Please Matt, I need them now.”

Matt reaches his with his other hand and starts calling Kenny. “Okay Jon, okay I’ll get them. Calm down now.” Matt shushes him gently. 

He doesn’t listen to the phone call until Regal’s name comes up and he flinches so hard that Matt immediately tells them that the man should stay back for a moment. He hates how he’s reacting because this isn’t the same as 2014, Regal isn’t Seth, but his mind says otherwise as Seth’s voice morphs into Regal’s. 

"... another twisted soul" "... this is the wrestler that I should have been, he is the perfect wrestler..." "... utter, sadistic person..."

His thoughts churn with blame and uncertainty. Why didn’t Regal just tell Tony no when he was approached about this storyline? Were they not enough, was henot enough? Was he too m-?

“Hey Moxie, hey! Come on now and come back to me, to us, we’re here now.” Mox shakes his head but immediately regrets it when the pain flashes violently and he groans. “I know baby, I know. Let’s let Bryan wrap you up and we’ll head out, okay?” His Pup speaks softly so he doesn’t hurt his head more.  

“Y-yeah okay Pup.” He rasps out and looks up into Yuta’s eyes before he pushes his face into hs Pup’s neck. “I love you Yoots and I don’t deserve you or any of the BCC, but I love you so much." 

“Don’t say that cucciolo. Don’t ever say that you don’t deserve us again. Capito amore?” Claudio steps in front of him as Yuta moves to stand next to Bryan and help him with getting everything he needs.  

He’s too tired to speak anymore so he just nods not really believing what he’s agreeing to. Mox feels a hand under his chin lifting his head until he’s looking at Claudio in the eyes. He nods again in his Swiss lover’s hand. When Bryan has what they need the three men lead him back to their locker room, leaving Matt to go back to Nick, Kenny, and William on his own. Claudio sits him down on the couch as soon as they arrive, and Bryan is kneeling in front of him shortly after. 

“Hey sweetheart let’s fix these hands, okay?” Bryan gently grabs his left hand first seeing that it’s worse than his right.  

His lover kisses his hands before and after he wraps them, doing the bare minimum until he can get a shower. He flinches as he hears the door open again revealing William and Mox nudges Bryan to go to him. He gets a startled look, but he just nudges the man again.

“Demon, I’ve brought your jacket and other things that you left by the ring.” Bryan meets Regal and grabs Mox’s items and murmurs something to the older man who nods in agreement. “I shall leave you in capable hands my love. Please know how much I love you Jon.” Mox can’t speak so he only nods and his head drops when he hears the door close, tears streaming down his face. 

“He’s not Seth, he’s not Seth, he’s not S-.”

Bryan stays behind with Regal when Mox asks him to. Yuta has him in the bathroom and strips him down quickly while the water heats up. He washes Mox gently and kisses away the tears that stream down his face without permission. His Pup is careful with his ripped knuckles and soothes him when he hears Mox’s newest mantra. The shower takes too much time and not enough by the time that Yuta takes his hand and pulls him out. Claudio joins them in the room as he is being dried off and dressed in only sweatpants, cuddling him from behind.  

“Come cucciolo let’s get your hands fixed up and get you into bed.”

He sits stiffly on the bed as Claudio tends to his hands quick but efficiently. Yuta sits behind him and kisses his neck and shoulders to keep him distracted from any pain or discomfort, but he is jolted when his phone breaks the comfortable silence.  

“Hello?” He answers without looking at the screen. 

“Mox, we bought the PPV-.” He drops the phone before he can hear anything else. 

He jumps up and paces back and forth as the voices in his head come back with a vengeance, tearing apart his mind and sanity. He doesn’t remember walking to the mirror before he feels the flash of pain and sees the broken glass. 

“Why would you call? Of course he’s not okay! …Asshole… don’t ever... lose his number..."

Yuta’s voice fades to the background as Mox spirals further down. He doesn’t feel Claudio try and stop him, only continues to punch the broken mirror as he tries to replace emotional pain with physical.

"There's always a Plan B." "... only used you." "You're a joke to me..." "Coward... lunatic..." "I have to choose him Dean, I love Seth." "My Demon... my love... Petal" Cucciolo... cucciolo... Jon..."

“Jon! Snap out of it!” He struggles as arms tighten around his chest and arms but the fight drains from him as he hears Yuta whimper. 

“Moxie? It’s okay, you’re okay. Claudio and I are here and Bryan’ll be here soon too. We’re gonna make you feel better I promise.” Mox can see the tears running down his Pup’s face and his heart breaks further at knowing he’s part of the cause. 

“Hush cucciolo, I can hear your thoughts. Our sweet Yuta cries because he worries for you as his lover. He loves you so much amore as do the rest of us. We know the betrayal you suffered by not one, but two lovers and we only want to help you through this. It’s been too much tonight with it being your Shield ten-year anniversary, and William and Tony truly forgot about it.” 

Mox trembles as Claudio’s breath hits his ear and Yuta hugs himself to his chest. His breathing starts to slow as the weight of both his lovers soothes something in him that demands comfort and love. Yuta pushes his face further into Mox like he is trying to bury himself inside Mox and he chuckles wetly, staying between the two until he can breathe normally again. A knock interrupts the quiet but Mox refuses to let Yuta go so Claudio goes to the door.  

“How is he?” Bryan whispers.  

“I have to bandage his hands again; you should come in and be with him too.” 

“Of course I will.” Claudio shuts the door behind them as Yuta sits Mox on the bed again and shoves his phone away. “Hey baby. I see you hurt your hands again, let’s get them fixed up and get you some rest huh?” 

Mox doesn’t fight against his lover as he lets Bryan clean and rewrap his hands, leaning back against Yuta’s chest and letting his heat comfort him. Exhaustion hits him hard and he is easily led to rearrange himself in the bed. He feels Claudio at his back, Yuta half laying on his chest, and Bryan on the other side of Yuta but makes sure to have a hand on Mox. With his lovers’ heat surrounding him from all sides, he falls into an uneasy sleep knowing that they are missing someone on the other side of Claudio.

Mox feels like he can’t breathe and there’s a ringing in his ear; he can feel the weight of the chair on his back. Claudio and Yuta make it difficult, but he manages to squirm his way out of the bed. He finds where his Pup hid his phone and has to ignore the messages that fill the screen. Memories flood his mind as he waits for the other end to pick up. 

“You promised us Seth that no matter what we’d stick together, that what happens in the ring stays in the ring and at the end of the day we all go home together. Don’t do this, please, just stay with us.”

“This is my chance, Dean. This is my career!” He starts to walk away, but Dean grabs him and spins him back around.

“We are your family, Seth! Isn’t that more important? Please Seth, I-I love you.” Seth sighs and Dean can feel his heart break.

“This was a business deal that went too far Dean. It became something it shouldn’t have. I do love you both, but I have to focus on me and my future.”

“Demon? Darling are you there?” Mox leans his head against the wall.

“Promise me, William. Promise me you don’t mean it; promise me you still love us, and you’ll come home with us always. That no matter what you won’t ever stop being there for us.” 

“Oh Petal-.”

“Promise me.” Mox urges, he needs to hear it from the Englishman.

“I promise you, Jonathan. I promise that you are enough, and I promise that, no matter what, we will always be together and nothing will tear us apart.” 

Mox can’t help but let out heavy sobs, letting out all the pain he’s been holding in with Regal sitting on the other end of the phone. The older man can hear Mox muttering the same mantra he had been all night and his heart breaks at his wild thing’s mental state. He is so distracted he almost misses his Jon’s next words. 

“Please come over William, come home to us. I know I told you I needed time, but I need you. So come to the room, please.” 

“Of course Petal, I shall be there as soon as possible.”

Mox doesn’t have to wait long before the soft knock can be heard. He yanks open the door and blindly grabs for Regal’s sleep shirt, pulling him into a harsh kiss. The Englishman grabs his face but lets him take what he needs until he pulls back and rests his head against Regal’s chest trying to catch his breath. He purrs as he feels nails gently scratch through his hair and down his back, feeling the kisses Regal places on the side of his temple.  

“Can I take you to bed, my darling boy? Just to sleep I promise so that I can hold you and you can rest.” He places another kiss on the top of Mox’s head.  

“Yes, please William, take me to bed.” He pulls away and drags Regal to the bed where Claudio is awake already, watching them.  

Claudio gets up gently so as not to wake the other two occupants and allows Mox and Regal to slip in the bed before rejoining them. Regal pulls his Demon to his chest and pets down his back until the man falls into a deep sleep. He waits until he hears the deep breathing of his damaged lover and leans down to whisper in his ear. 

“I am not Seth, my love, and I will forever show you that until you believe me.”

I'm in feels so y'all have to be too... and not just BCC feels... nah I'm drudging up Shield feels too... that being said the Regal betrayal is storyline and the Seth betrayal is kayfabe! Awesome? Awesome!

Much love as always!

@sarahcakes613 @sheinthatfandom @betrayedmox @old-no7 @blackpoolcombatwriter (thought y'all might like this ❤️)

[sleepysnk]

I'M LOWKEY IN THE MOOD FOR SOME FLUFF SO I DECIDED TO MAKE THESE HEADCANONS. i hope you guys enjoy! <3

Pregnancy Headcanons

Characters: Reiner, Porco, Colt, and Zeke

Warnings: Mentions of NSFW, pregnancy, birth

Reiner Braun:

- ohh boy, now let me just say this man has a breeding kink so you've definitely have had some pregnancy scares before. it was kind of common 😳.

- now when you started feeling sick one day, you instantly were concerned. Reiner noticed the change in your behavior as well. You seemed more tired, you barely slept, and worst of all you threw up a ton. it was a lot more than usual as well.

- Reiner didn't know what was wrong, he was scared to lose you.

- that's when it dawned on him that you two had sex weeks prior, without a condom. he was freaked out because he wasn't sure if you had forgotten. he decided to go to you about it and he explained that you should take a pregnancy test.

- you thought the idea of you being pregnant was ridiculous, but you gave in and took the test.

- when it came back positive, your whole world just stopped. you were pregnant with Reiner's baby.

- when you told him he was absolutely ecstatic. Reiner was excited to start this new chapter with you and assured you that everything was going to be okay, and he'd be by your side through everything. he was very helpful in getting what you needed.

- you found out you were about 6 weeks along at the doctor's office, and you two couldn't be happier.

- Reiner is very protective of you already. with you being pregnant, he is now 100x more protective than before. HE HAS HIS EYES ON YOU 24/7. whenever you go out, he goes with you. he was always around in case of an emergency.

- lowkey into pregnancy sex

- the symptoms were the worst, Reiner would wake up some nights to you going back and forth to the bathroom or throwing up at certain smells of foods. he was there for all of your mood swings and odd cravings 😭, he would always laugh whenever you would run to the bathroom having to pee.

- Reiner absolutely falls in love with your pregnant belly, there's just something he loves about your belly being so big. he always has his hands on your bump <3.

- both of you would argue over gender, Reiner wanted a girl and you wanted a boy. eventually you found out you were having a girl, and Reiner felt like a total bad bitch 😭.

- Reiner would have Bertholdt come check in on you often if he's at work, or he'll send you a text asking how you're feeling. he understands how some days you can have terrible morning sickness and that you need some love.

- he'll massage any part of your body that's sore.

- Karina was excited to be a grandma, she would often invite you over to ask how you were feeling. she was a huge help for you and Reiner during the whole process, she practically acted like you were her daughter.

- Reiner would so make a nursery by himself 🥺, he'd do it all within like two days and you'd be so impressed by it all. he wants everything to be ready before your little one comes home.

- when your water broke, Reiner was absolutely a total mess. Bertholdt and Annie had to calm him down, he was so scared.

- it was hard for Reiner to watch you cry in pain, he was a total mess at the doctor's office he had to walk out of the delivery room. eventually, he came back and watching you give birth was one of the most beautiful things he got to watch.

- HE WAS SO EMOTIONAL WHEN HE HELD HER 🥺🥺🥺. HOLY SHIT THIS MAN WAS A SOBBING MESS.

- god pls give this man a baby, he is such an amazing father.

Porco Galliard:

- Porco is always one to notice odd behavior or changes in your usual routine. he's very observant and blunt, so expect him to question you a ton whenever something seems out of the ordinary for you.

- when you started feeling sick, Porco found it odd. he hadn't seen you this sick in a really long time and it kind of concerned him being honest, he was scared that you were seriously ill. he would hold your hair back everytime you threw up your food. it really worried him.

- Porco overthinks A TON, he thought you were dying or something.

- that's when Porco decided to take you to the doctor. the last straw hit when you practically almost passed out when you were working out, he basically forced your ass into going to the doctor.

- you explained your symptoms to the doctor and after a few tests, you found out you were pregnant.

- hearing those words made Porco genuinely shocked, but he was so excited and happy. he told you he'd support whatever you wanted to do and after some talking, you both decided to keep it. he assured you he wasn't going anywhere and he was going to take care of you and your baby.

- Porco definitely goes overboard with it all 😭, mans would barely let anyone even breath next to you. he is so defensive over you and the baby, he's just protective like that. he sleeps with one eye open practically.

- dealing with the symptoms were a lot to handle at first. Porco wasn't sure what would trigger you to vomit or what would piss you off. you told him not to worry about anything and that you'd be okay, of course he's a stubborn little shit and just pouts but you find it to be adorable. he laughs when you have to pee 500 times a night.

- he loves the bump, he always pokes it for some reason and laughs.

- Porco wants a girl so bad. he literally tells you how much he wants a daughter and that's what he ended up getting. he found out you were having a girl and he was absolutely ecstatic, he was so ready to meet her.

- Marcel would probably come around if Porco was out working or he wasn't able to be at home. sometimes he'd send Pieck to check up on you if you weren't responding to him quick enough. this baby is so concerned over every little thing 😭.

- Porco would carry you around everywhere if your feet were sore. he knows how sore your body is so he'll carry you around the house.

- his family was very excited for the two of you, his mom was so happy to finally have a baby coming in the family. she gave you tons of advice and she gifted you with a ton of items for the baby.

- Porco asked Marcel to help him with the nursery, he didn't have any clue where to start and your due date was approaching faster than he could even blink. it took awhile, but they ended up making a really cute and pretty nursery. Porco felt like a proud dad in that moment.

- when your water broke, hell on Earth happened.

- Porco wasn't even there when it happened, you were with Pieck and it broke. when he got the call he went absolute ape shit and ran out the door, he literally zoomed to the damn hospital.

- he became so worried about you 🥺, seeing how uncomfortable you were and how much pain you were in made him so scared. he stayed by your side as long as he could so he could somewhat make it a little less painful.

- it was really late when you finally gave birth and Porco was awake for all of it. he couldn't fall asleep without seeing you give birth. it was so beautiful to him.

- UGH HE WAS SO EMOTIONAL. you hadn't ever seen Porco cry until then and it made your heart so happy.

- he'd literally fall asleep with her in his arms <3.

- UGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

Colt Grice:

- okay this soft baby is always one to know when something feels off with you. he always has that gut feelings you know? it always bothers him until he asks you what's going on.

- you started feeling really sick and Colt being the giant baby he is, he got really scared and worried about you. he watched as you would run off to the toilet and vomit whatever you ate, he thought you had food poisoning. he noticed how exhausted you were, mans was so scared for your safety.

- like Porco, Colt is an over thinker. he legit thought you had some disease.

- one night he decided to just scoop you up and take you to the doctor. he couldn't handle watching you randomly vomit or almost pass out, he was scared one day you'd get even sicker, so he took you in.

- the doctors were concerned after hearing your symptoms, so they ran some tests. the tests revealed you were pregnant.

- Colt was shocked as shit, but he was so fucking excited and happy. he literally almost fainted from hearing the news, he wanted to have a baby with you for a pretty long time. he was open to your options though, but in the end you both agreed to keeping it.

- Colt is very reassuring, especially in this scenario. he reminds you that he will be here every step of the way and he isn't going anywhere. this is a process you'll be taking together, not just you.

- this baby will do anything he needs to do to keep you both safe. he holds your hand a little tighter when you're out and about, or he'll keep his hand on your small bump. he became protective overnight.

- he actually manages your symptoms pretty well, he'll make sure he has water ready for you after you throw up or he'll make you something to eat that'll ease your stomach. he keeps up with the weird cravings or the mood swings. Colt does a lot to make sure you're okay and comfortable.

- he is obsessed with the bump, he loves pressing kisses against it 🥺❤.

- Colt wants a boy so bad, he wants to teach the little boy everything. HE JUST LOVES THE IDEA OF A SON. after heading to your ultra sound, you told him he was getting a son and he lost it. he was so excited.

- he would probably have Falco come over and watch you 😭, yes a 12 year old. Falco keeps you entertained and he asks you about the baby a lot plus he knows what to do in case of an emergency.

- Colt would be very comforting, he understands completely how some days you can feel irritable so he tries his best to make you feel better. he'll run relaxing baths for you, kiss wherever you feel sore, etc. mans is really built to take care of you while you're pregnant.

- his family was absolutely ecstatic when they found out. Colt actually had some background knowledge about babies, his mom was pregnant with Falco after all. he kind of picked up on a few things as a kid, so expect him to know what he's doing. his mom was very supportive and helpful too.

- Colt is a damn handy man, he knows how to build a nursery. he basically told you to not worry about a damn thing and to go relax. when you came back the nursery was so pretty and adorable, you fell in love with it.

- when your water broke this man freaked the fuck out, he was in panic mode.

- Colt was freaking out at the hospital, he literally couldn't keep calm. he paced around the waiting room, Falco had to literally force this man to sit down and relax.

- seeing how much pain you were in broke his damn heart, he tried his best to calm you down and male you feel at least somewhat comfortable. he assured you this would be over soon and it'll all be worth it to see your baby.

- when you finally gave birth, he was astonished. he thought birth was such a beautiful thing and watching it made him so happy.

- he was such a sucker for this little boy, when he held him for the first time he was so overcome with emotion. he fell in love on the spot and literally kept him all to himself 😭.

- he is the perfect dad ugh.

Zeke Jaeger:

- Zeke has a serious breeding kink so you've definitely have had some pregnancy scares in the past. nothing he isn't used to, the tests usually came back negative anyway.

- you became really sick over a course of two weeks and it was extremely out of the ordinary for Zeke. he noticed how you slept in a lot longer, your eating habits changed due to your vomiting, you had to pee a lot more than usual. the #1 thing he noticed was your period had oddly been late. he thought you were you were seriously sick.

- mans was scared okay?

- that's when it dawned on him that all your symptoms were involved with pregnancy. he realized the timeline when you both had sex and when you got pregnant lined up perfectly. Zeke decided to get you a pregnancy test, he told you he felt like it was the best option.

- you took the test nervously and it eventually came back positive.

- you told Zeke and he was shocked, he was so excited for this new chapter. he was literally on board for anything you wanted to do.

- Zeke would come to every ultrasound, he assured you that he was going to be by your side for everything. he got you anything you needed, mans would rush out the damn door to get you anything you asked for.

- he takes care of you pretty much whenever he can, if you were feeling sick he'd stay in bed with you until you were feeling ready to get up. he'll cuddle up with you all day if he has to. mans is also very protective and defensive over you, if anyone is giving you some weird side eye he'll literally protect you with his damn life lmao.

- Zeke manages with your symptoms pretty well, he hates watching you throw up. he knows how uncomfortable it can be for you and he always holds your hair back, or he'll have something prepared for you to ease your stomach. he hates the mood swings the most 😭, he also hates when you get up 500 times to piss. he makes fun of you all the time.

- don't even get me started on the bump, he loves it. sometimes he'll poke it randomly and start laughing.

- Zeke wants a girl so bad. he literally loves the idea of having a daughter, but he didn't get it. you told him after your recent ultrasound you were having a boy. he was a little disappointed, but he was still happy. he gets to teach the little man how to play baseball <3.

- Pieck comes over when Zeke isn't around to check in. he is always really worried about you, so whenever he gets that gut feeling he'll send Pieck right over to make sure you're fine and that she can tell Zeke everything is cool.

- like i said earlier, he's very comforting. he knows how to take care of you especially on your bad days.

- his family is really happy for you both, his mom helped you a ton with the whole process. Zeke is a bit older so he kind of knew a bit about babies since Eren is his step-brother. he picked up on some shit when Carla was pregnant, even then his family gave you tons of advice.

- Zeke had no clue how to make a nursery, he had to call up his god damn dad for help 😭. Grisha was absolutely in for it, and he did exactly that. the two spent hours building the nursery and it came out really well.

- into pregnancy sex.

- when your water broke, holy shit it was like hell on Earth. Zeke didn't even know it popped since you were out and about when it happened.

- he actually was pretty calm, he wasn't freaking out or running around like a mad man. he was very chill and relaxed waiting for the doctors to come and let him in the delivery room.

- seeing you screaming in pain was hard for him to hear, you were struggling and there wasn't much he could do. of course he'd hold your hand and remind you that you're going to be okay, even if you screamed at him telling him to shut the hell up 😭. Zeke was like 😀.

- when you gave birth, oh wow he was so shocked seeing how a vagina can push out a baby.

- when he held his newborn son he was so happy, he almost cried but he felt so proud. he literally was in love with his son and he couldn't be happier.

- PERFECT DAD YOU CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND.

[s-brant]

Baby Names

(gif: @mishellejones) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: Y/N gets frustrated while putting the crib for her and JJ’s baby together and finds herself missing her dead brother more than ever.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Fluff and minor angst.

A/N: Asks and ye shall receive, here’s a little blurb about what happens after Tokens! You don’t really have to read the other parts to enjoy this fic if you don’t want to, but I do recommend it for some backstory. This was slightly inspired by this fic by @cognacdelights, so go give her stuff a read! Let me know if you liked this. Have fun!

Y/N Routledge thought she got over her brother's death long ago.

Though you never truly "get over" losing a loved one, though there will always be a small part of you, however small, that aches for their presence again, she thought she moved past the tragedy to the best of her ability...until last week.

To say that the pregnancy was a surprise would be the understatement of the century. She and JJ were both on the same page about children when their relationship began, and that page was that neither of them wanted them yet. Sure, the idea of it in the future stirred their hearts with fond emotion, but considering that they had yet to graduate high school and barely scraped by on their own, they weren't jumping headfirst into that aspect of adulthood.

They were meticulous about safe sex. They couldn't afford another mouth to feed, she wasn't sure she could handle the emotional trauma of having an abortion, and, underneath it all, he had some reservations about being a father. It wasn't that he didn't envision a future with kids in their relationship, he did, but the topic of fatherhood always took him down a dark path within his mind.

So, she went on birth control once they started dating and they went along with no scares for the next six years as they graduated and started figuring out what the next step for their lives was going to be.

Y/N could get lost thinking about it, honestly, but she tries not to get too swept up in the minor mistake that led to this.

"You, my friend, need to stop moving around in there," she whispers down at her protruding belly with a hand cradling the heavy weight of it, "I'm trying to get your crib set up without JJ yelling at me for not asking for help, and if you don't stop kicking me, I'm not gonna get anything done."

She's sprawled out on the floor in the living room of the Chateau with her legs stretched comfortably in each direction while she hunches over to read the directions of the Ikea furniture. The sugarcoated description makes her want to hunt down the company CEO for sport, because for how "simple and easy!" the construction of it claims to be, she is at her wits end.

The last thing she needed after having her grief over John B's death reignited by their decision to name their kid after him last week was to stress herself out over something as stupid as this, but she won't quit. With how much JJ has been coddling her the further into the pregnancy she gets, she wanted to prove that she could do something for herself.

Whenever she brings in the groceries from the car and goes to lift the bag of dog kibble out of the trunk, he rushes up behind her back and scoops it out of the trunk before she dares to touch it. It always ends with her hollering after him that it's under twenty pounds, the upwards limit of the weight she's allowed to carry according to her doctor, but he refuses to hear any of it.

Inside of her, she feels a sharp sensation of something hitting her right in the ribs in response to her comment, and she groans in frustration. It's as if he did it because he knows she wants it to stop, the feisty little fucker.

"You're definitely your daddy's son, aren't you? It's already enough having one of him, the last thing I need is a JJ clone."

Their three-year-old Rottweiler rescue huffs a sigh from where he lays, frog-legging it, on the floor next to the unboxed crib pieces she can't put together to save her life. His drooping jowls produce a puddle of slobber on the her favorite carpet that is past the point of saving from his constant wear and tear. After a year of having him, she decided to stop trying to prevent him from ruining it. There’s no point.

She smiles at him as she leans forward to read through the directions for the billionth time, saying, "I actually think he'll be a lot like his uncle, but that's just me. If he isn't, I'll feel a little stupid over the name situation."

John Booker Routledge-Maybank.

Hell of a name if you ask her yourself, but for every internal struggle it reopened inside of her, she couldn't help but love it as soon as JJ casually proposed the idea on his way out of the door for work one morning.

Going on without John B has been a learning experience in every aspect. Any time she wanted to turn to him for advice or tell him something about the recent events in her life, she had to walk out back to their dying magnolia tree and sit under the shade to talk to the wind. Then, once the tree finally died and they were forced to cut it down, she took to sitting on its stump and doing it there.

It got easier as time went on, but she can't keep herself from wondering what it'd be like if he didn't die ever since she saw the results on the pregnancy test six months ago. Whenever she does something like going to her OBGYN appointments or, case in point, setting up the crib, she pictures him there.

She can see him here now, petting Bowie's shiny coat until he falls asleep with his head propped onto John B's outstretched legs. He'd be twenty-three years old by now with his life barely starting to blossom to its full potential, yet here they are. Correction, here she is, and he's off somewhere at the bottom of the ocean, already decomposed to the extent that not even his bones can be salvaged anymore.

Her chest sinks in another sigh, and she flips through page after page of the instructions with increasing aggression.

"This crib is so fucking—"

"What are you doing?"

The sound of her yelping in surprise at JJ's voice coming from the door is enough to make him laugh to himself, though his amusement is buried partway by what he's walking in on. He specifically asked her to wait for him to put the crib together, knowing damn well it wouldn't be the easy task she thought it was, but he should've known she'd do it anyway.

She looks over her shoulder with a mixture of guilt and frustration painting her features as she throws her hands up in the air and gestures vaguely to the unassembled crib. Her eyes are shining with the rapid onset of hormone-induced tears.

"I can't put this crib together 'cause the instructions aren't right, all the pieces are labeled wrong, your son won't stop kicking me, and I miss my brother so much right now," she spews the words with no pauses to breathe until the very end, when she stops short to suck down a breath as soon as she gets the last part out.

It leaves JJ standing at the entrance to the house with this stunned expression.

There's no amusement to be found anymore. Once she turned and flashed those wide, teary eyes that never fail to spark an ache in his heart at him, his tired smile vanished and his feet started moving before he could say anything to her.

The floorboards creak beneath his half-laced boots on his way across the room to her. It prompts Bowie to pop his head up from around the side of the coffee table to catch a peek of whoever it is that's approaching his emotionally distraught owner. Upon seeing JJ's familiar face, the dog relaxes back into his lounging position atop the carpet and tracks JJ’s movements until he's seated next to her.

"This is about John B?" he asks.

Her cheeks are flushed in embarrassment at her sudden outburst, and she can't bear to meet his gaze right now. Despite him being her closest friend and husband, she feels as small and vulnerable as she did six years ago when she first learned of her brother's death from Shoupe. Time might as well be shaped in the form of a never-ending circle for them, directing them back to their seventeen-year-old state of mind every time things turn sour.

Y/N finally lifts her hanging head to look over at him after another few seconds and thinks she might crumble at the look on his face. He hates watching her cry.

"I guess," she says through a sniffle, "It's about the crib too, but I've been thinking about it a lot more since we picked the name. Our baby’s gonna grow up never knowing who his uncle was..."

With that, JJ takes it as his cue to pull her closer.

He scoots up behind her and lets his chin rest on the curve bridging her neck and shoulder together as he twines his arms around her body. It's a closeness that's as natural as breathing for him, so natural that he can hardly remember the years before it became normal for them to take part in little moments of intimacy like this. The warmth of their bodies cohabitates in the blurred line distinguishing where she ends and he begins, and he feels her relax, sagging in his embrace in appreciation of his miraculous ability to make her feel better no matter how worked up she is.

One of his hands rests on the swell of her bump in an absentminded effort to calm him too. Even though he isn't consciously thinking of it, he knows that her distress must upset the baby too. The contact steadies her, keeps her grounded to the moment rather than allowing her to slip away into the current of her negative thoughts, and she clings to every word he has to say.

He says, "You and I both know that isn’t true. He's gonna grow up seeing all the pictures you have of John B and ask about him all the time. And we'll tell him all the stories"—there's a pause of contemplation as he recalls a few particularly non-PG memories of his best friend—"Well, maybe not all of them, but you know what I mean."

This draws a soft bout of laughter from deep within her chest that he feels with how her body shakes ever so slightly with it. It seems so wrong to laugh with tears in her eyes but she can't help it. Her emotions have been scattered in every direction since the pregnancy began, and it has only gotten worse the further along she gets.

"If you ever tell him about the kief incident, I'm never giving you a bl—"

His free hand smushes over her mouth before she can say the rest.

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence.”

It's said so frantically, it makes her erupt in laughter hard enough to tickle her abdomen muscles with the aching sensation of it. The vibration of it under his palm makes him drop his hand a second later with the need to hear the beautiful sound. After seeing her cry, it's a welcome shift in mood, even if it's at his expense.

Her head is thrown back on his shoulder, mouth parted into a smile with the gleeful giggling filling the room. His stomach churns with butterflies at the sight of her. Even after all these years, he has the same reaction to her laughter every time. It makes him smile to himself and watch her in quiet reverence. It makes him ache with the same inklings of longing he felt for the first time when he was much younger.

Her laughter begins to die down by the time she can draw enough breath in to murmur a soft, "Sorry, angel," to him and reach down to hold the hand he rests on her belly as consolation for her joke.

They remain this way for another few minutes, tangled up in each other's arms on the floor of the living room with Bowie snoring a few feet away, before he manages to convince her to let him be the one to set up the crib instead. It takes a good five minutes of playful back and forth before she concedes under the condition that he'll let her paint the nursery by herself when the time comes, and that's all it takes for her to abandon the task in favor of finding something to snack on in the fridge.

In her defense, the crib is actually quite difficult to put together.

JJ doesn't consider himself an expert handyman by any means, at least not with anything outside of his area of expertise as an electrician, but he likes to think he knows enough to put together a "no assembly required" Ikea crib without wanting to bang his face against the wall.

In the end, it gets finished by the two of them in the middle of the night over a box of cold leftover pizza from the previous day. It takes them two hours of struggling before they get it fully assembled and placed where they want it in the room that'll soon belong to their son.

He pretends not to notice her sneaking back in to tie John B's old bandana around the wooden railing before they go to bed.

Tag List: @gabiatthedisco, @fangirlvoice, @black-syren, @apparrio, @particularcth, @planetdemon, @idk-ijustworkhere, @krisphann, @astrydis, @k-k0129, @zarahsloves, and @stilesflannels.

[honeyabyss]

When Mc gets sick

Lucifer:

will scold the hell out of you

"didn't I tell you to take care of yourself?"

you can have only a slight cold and he will insist on you staying in bed for the rest of the week

humans are weak and die easily, and you're apparently stupid on top of that for getting sick even after his warning

will constantly sigh, scold and act like it's a huge nuisance taking care of you

says he doesn't care

actually cares a lot

keeps his brothers away from you, so you have peace and silence to recover

if your condition worsens he will grow panicked, he doesn't want to lose you!

will take you to a human world doctor so you can get the right treatment

after your recovery, he will be so paranoid and overprotective for the first few weeks, will wrap you up in blankets, constantly makes sure you drink and eat enough, will put his coat over your shoulders if he even just gets the idea you might find it cold

Mammon:

"that's your own fault!"

someone like the great Mammon would never get sick

leaves the room only to come back half an hour later panting and packed with bags full of medicine and other stuff you might need

he didn't know what you need so he got one of all

there isn't the right thing among it? oh well no worries he'll get you whatever you say

after all he cares a lot for his human, even though he denies it

he will keep you company and try to distract you from your pain through telling you about his new money making schemes, or try to get you to laugh through telling you about stories where he failed and received Lucifers punishment

he doesn't like that you  have to go through this so he tries to help you however he can

if you'll ask for some quiet time, he will struggle, it's not like he doesn't want you to have some rest to recover, it's just he is so worried and confused, he feels more at ease when you talk to him or laugh about his stories, if you answer that is prove you're still alive and breathing

once you've recovered everything goes back to normal, Mammon will be confident in his ability to take care of you...for now that is, it's probably diffrent once you're actually sick again

Leviathan:

stupid normie! An otaku like him doesn't get sick, because he never leaves his room and avoids interactions with others

he, of course, secretly cares though

"Mc? I brought you these anime that we can watch together to pass the time"

"oh and in case you want to rather read something in silence, I brought you some manga recommendations, but please don't sneeze all over them..."

does the online RAD lessons with you as he stays at home almost everyday anyway, so he can show you how they work and help you

he will awkwardly sit next to you on the bed, trying to keep a small distance between the two of you A) because he is shy and nervous and B) because he can't get sick, he would miss all his in-game raids

will ask if you want to play games as well, but soon realizes that you two won't be making much progress with your current reaction time, so he chooses an easy and fun game for you

he wouldn't admit it but he might have set the game to the easiest settings and he himself plays slower for you

he is actually kind of disappointed when you recover so quick, he will miss you now that you visit RAD again instead of doing the online lessons with him, but he is glad you're feeling better again...maybe you could stay home more often with him though?

Satan:

he will buy and read every single human medicine book so he can find the best solution to your illness

will obviously read them in your room, because he can't leave you alone in this state

makes sure to keep you warm and makes you herbal tea depending on your symptoms

will skip school in favour for your well-being, especially keeps this behaviour up when Lucifer gets mad about it

will yell at everyone who dares to try and enter your room while your still sick, how dare they disturb your rest

will get embarassed about yelling and actually being the disturbance to you himself, will apologize and leave your room to keep reading somewhere else, still checks up on you occasionally and brings you light novels to read so you don't get bored

will come in stumbling into your room with the perfect medicine to cure you, only to find that you're already feeling better

gets embarassed yet again, but says it was worth reading all these books as he can now react faster the next time you get sick

will keep a check on your health and make sure you're always taking care of yourself

Asmodeus:

keep your snotty face away from him, but also come cuddle

he is very conflicted, because getting sick is not good for his skin, but he also wants to make you feel better with his hugs

will wear a mask so he doesn't get infected that easily

Asmo doesn't know much about medicine but he knows that certain herbs are good for your health, so he'll make you a nice herbal bath to boost your healing

also will take over your skin care routine and adjust it while your sick so your skin doesn't get worse, says he will only buy a refreshing face mask, comes back with more stuff though... I mean what did you expect from him?

will stay in bed with you and constantly cuddle so you don't feel lonely

he will most definetly whine if you ask him for some space or alone time, but does comply...fo at most half an hour, look this is hard on him too! His darling is sick and he can't do anything but be a moral support for you

if you thought he stops to cling to you once you've recovered, then you're mistaken, he will give you so many kisses and hugs having missed being able to do that

Beelzebub:

"Will food make you feel better?"

"You don't feel like eating?"

the poor boy is so confused, you're going to die if you don't eat! He will ask Satan what humans need when they're sick

will make yoou the perfect meal based on your symptoms, he'll even hold back on eating from it

he has a huge smile on his face while he watches you eat what he prepared, he is so proud that you like what he made you

eat as much as you can, Beel will eat everything you can't, all this boy wants for you to eat at least a bit so you have enough strength to recover

you get cold? cuddle time!

there is no way Beel will leave your side for as long as you're sick, he'll hold you close and share all his warmth and food with you

is so happy when you're better again. Will celebrate it with inviting you to a restaurant

Belphegor:

being sick is like being sleepy right?

he will just go back to sleep next to you as if nothing happend

wakes up because of your coughs and pretends to be annoyed, but is actually worried

will leave the comfort of the bed to get you some medicine, before wrapping you up into a blanket burrito and cuddling into you

don't expect to be getting up any time soon, he wants to sleep...you better not have to go to the bathroom

sleeping is best medicine but Belphie takes this a bit to literally, you two will almost only sleep

once you're better he will still want to sleep using you as a pillow, good luck getting out of that situation

Diavolo:

"Are you dying Mc?"

"Barbatos turn back the time before Mc got sick! -Wait you're going to be okay?"

Don't scare him like that! He is always ready to save you from death!

He will let you live at the castle for the time being and appoints the best doctor to take care of you, because he still isn't completly convinced you're going to make it

Does his work in your room, so he can keep a check on you

will not do much work much to Barbatos dismay, Dia is just so worried about you and will constantly ask if you need anything

his breaks consist of hugging you gently and drinking some tea with you

he will literally cry and almost crush you in his hug, when you're finally healthy again. This man was so anxious about losing you, even thugh he could've commanded Barb to just turn back time

Barbatos:

*smiles*

he knew you were going to get sick, so he's prepared

knocks on your door in the house of lamentation, before you're even able to tell anyone that you're sick

made himself a very strict schedule for everything so he can help you and still attend to his duties as a butler

gives the brothers various tasks so they can indivdually take care of you in the time he isn't able to be there for you

he will get back to you in the evening after having finished all his work for the day

will make you a light dinner and sit next to your bed

stays with you until you fall asleep stroking you hair and holding one of your hands, when you wake up the next morning Barb await you with a small breakfast, if he stayed over night or left and came back in the morning will stay a secret of his

is relieved and at the same time sad when you've recovered, will miss coming over and seeing you, maybe you can return the favor and visit him at the castle sometimes...

Solomon:

is a human so he knows what to do...

but magic is quicker!

he tries to heal you with a spell, but he just end up making it worse

"Oh no Mc I'm so sorry! Let me make it up by taking care of you!"

undefined matter soup a la Solomon, "eat this", he said, "You'll feel better", he said ...you don't feel better...

the brothers will get so angry and throw him out of the house, he is only allowed to come back once you've recovered, actually scratch that he's not setting foot anywhere near you again if it were for the demons

but Solomon finds his way into your room through your window...will stay over the night, cuddling you and constantly apologizing

will laugh about the whole ordeal once you've recovered

Simeon:

he is so calm, like yeah? Humans get sick, but they recover soon if taking care of correctly

Simeon is just the best!

he knows the right food to make for you, will give you the best medicine and make sure you're taking it at the right time

will make sure you're always comfortable

bored?  "let me get you a book!"

tired?  "let me fluff your pillow so you can sleep better!"

he will sit next to you the whole time looking so calm and confident

he will pray for you to get better quick so you don't have to suffer too long

promises you to take care of you again if you get sick in the future, this man just wants to be there for you

Luke:

"Are you dying Mc?" Version 2.0

no seriously are you? Will you become an  angel? We can live together in the celestial realm and bake desserts for Micheal!

Mc why are you so angry? No you misunderstood I don't actually want you to die!

Is so sorry he couldn't protect you from getting sick, he will feel so helpless

Simeon and you will cheer him up and tell him there wasn't anything he could have done to prevent it

Luke will bake you light desserts so you can eat some sweets while recovering

will visit you daily with Simeon after school and tell you about the day

crushes you in a big hug once you're healthy again

[the-mu-in-muichirou]

Tangled Au

BUT LISTEN ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK…

Yes Muzan is mother gothel because his stingy ass would be trying to live forever and would want to conjure the sun out of his behind but LOOK!!!!!

It’s nezuko who is born from the flower not tanjirou so ha! Suck on that twist.

I’d like to say her hair is orange but like an orange haired nezuko wouldn’t look right ;-; so redish hair kinda like tanjirou’s

After Nezuko was kidnapped because you know WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS in this fandom without something tragic hurting us.

And look as much as I would love a ZenNezu story about zenitsu mustering up the Courage to save her. NO! This is for family feels so F the romance plot.

Tanjirou is devastated his baby sister went missing and so where his parents the king and queen. So after many talkings Tanjirou wished to go find his sister. His parents would never allow that because that’s their only child left!!!!

After Nezuko’s disappearance the king and queen decided to have no more kids as scared they would also be stolen. (Did I nerf the other siblings Bc I don’t know how else to include them? Yes I did but so did Gotouge)

Tanjirou disliked the idea of not being able to help his sister and as the stubborn person he is, he pulled a Mulan(left without word in the middle of the night) around the age of 12 to go look for his sister.

Tanjirou didn’t know how majorly he screwed up until he realized the real word hard TM but he pulls this I am the first son mantra and continues on his way like a big boy.

And because he isn’t really a big boy he is found by Urokodaki a lone traveler who brings him home and asks Tanjirou if he’s alright.

Tanjirou says no and explains his situation ans urokodaki listens saying he should go back to his family. Tanjirou disagrees because he can’t go home empty handed.

Tanjirou says he will leave the next day but Urokodaki can’t leave a child in need alone so he asks tanjirou if he can even defend himself.

And obviously baby boy can’t do Urokodaki reveals he was a former palace guard and decides to teach Tanjirou about swordsman ship.

(If you can’t get guess, yes all the pillars are royal palace guards)

As the years pass the king and queen are looking for not only mourning their daughter but looking for their son.

Muzan is none the wiser that the prince has gone missing busy making sure to raise Nezuko under him best he can. Usual parental manipulation tactics.

After tanjirou beats Urokodaki in a spar like years later he continues on his way.

This is where he meets Inosuke a thief who’s had to steal since young. Tanjirou tries to reason with him saying it’s wrong and inosuke is still feral but they both get caught and wanted posters get out up of both them.

Later along the way they encounter Zenitsu who was found crying on the side of the road for owing money to some debt collectors.

The three join forces stopping others who steal (but getting caught returning artifacts so they’re seen like thieves)

Inosuke complains Bc they should keep it and zenitsu agrees while tanjirou doesn’t.

Life goes on and

~time skip~

It is Nezuko’s 18th birthday and she wants to go see the floating lanterns. Despite asking ofc her father (Muzan) says no and she’s upset.

Muzan sings- (pfft imagine him singing) Muzan just lectures her on it saying she’s too old for nonsense and he expects better.

Nezuko agrees and asks for some v rare bread she liked. Muzan said that it’s long away travel and Nezuko does that thing 🥺

And Muzan agrees because if it’ll shut a child up and departs .

The castle scene is the three idiots trying to place the crown back when they get caught and running after their lives being chased by sanemi and giyuu. (Why this pair specifically? I ship them leave me alone.)

They’re cornered until tanjirou falls into the hidden leaves hiding the tower and drags both of them in.

They climb tower and are promptly knocked out. Cue a crow squawking at them to wake up.

And look Tanjirou doesn’t recognize her because she was baby and you might be like (why did he go search for her then!?!) well does Tanjirou look like he plans things through? He’s jump first think along the way.

Anyways, they all try to pacify her and nezuko settles down saying she’ll give them back the crown if they take her to see the lanterns. And well they agree.

After this the plot mostly follows the same 😗

The part where they escape the tavern and are bonded by her hair shocks all of them

Oh! They are found by giyuu but when Tanjirou fights him giyuu recognizes the fighting style and asks if he knows Urokodaki. Tanjirou nods and giyuu says he’ll help.

The two goons after all five of them are Douma and Enmu. (I’d never want those two to interact actually but here we are)

Some ZenNezu plot does happen with nezuko having doubts and zenitsu comforting her as they continue.

During the boat scene Giyuu stays behind while the four of them get on and enjoy some peace. With all of them saying if nezuko has finished one dream it just means it’s time for a new one.

Nezuko smiles and confesses she’s had the crown all along. They all say they don’t care and they’re happy she’s with them.

cue boat docking Nezuko wandering off to talk to Muzan and the three getting kidnapped and shipped back to the castle.

Cue realization of who nezuko is.

And cue Tanjirou confessing he’s the prince in the cells while giyuu helps with can escape plan.

Tanjirou goes to save nezuko and overhears yelling from the bottom of the tower because please.

Tanjirou yelling for nezuko more desperate than ever now knowing he’s found his sister.

Muzan killing Tanjirou but Muzan falling down and dying.

Nezuko resurrecting Tanjirou and both going home to their family safe and sound.

~THE END~

[featherfur]

I’m going to try and make sense with this so bear with me: I think a lot of untapped angst potential in fic is the reality of Jiang Cheng being the older one now and visibly more mature because Wei Wuxian died at 20? 19? And he wasn’t exactly maturing in the ghost realm during that considering he doesn’t remember it. Now he’s definitely matured via trauma but that’s not the same thing. And now they’re 16x on the wrong wave length.

Under the read more because uh, I go into detail

Now put Jiang Cheng in the same room as Wei Wuxian and they’re both 12, atleast in the beginning. But Jiang Cheng had his previously homicidal insane brother show up right next to his nephew after insulting his mom (who’s death he inadvertently led too) so JC (for me atleast) can be forgiven a bit for not being happy and wanting to kick his ass and thinking he may still be insane because an Okay Wei Wuxian Would Not Insult Shijie or His Nephew. Especially since JC not only didn’t tell the entire world that his brother was back, left him with Jin Ling, only yelled at him a bit and scared him via dog and— (I’m going to shut up here because that isn’t my point but man I could go on). JC had a lot of issues and he yells at Wei Wuxian to the point one wants to offer him a cough drop.

But post Temple JC? Who watched him walk away sadly and knows that Wei Wuxian is no longer unstable and thinks he doesn’t want to be his brother anymore? That’s so much wonderful angst because that means Wei Wuxian will not be greeted by Jiang Cheng his Shidi anymore.

He will be met with Sect Leader Jiang who clawed his way up from nothing but a baby in his right, a stack of spreadsheets on his left and the most feral disciples around that he has to protect. This Sect Leader who doesn’t have time to go around hunting Wei Wuxian down to harass him. Sect Leader Jiang who barely even greets Wei Wuxian when he visits because he has shit to do. He has audits and taxes and those damn merchants are complaining, he has to up the wages of the seamstresses that make the robes of his sect with so many protection talismans and find a way to convince Sect Leader Ouyang to stop fine-ing the caravans that deliver the goods. He has to organize the celebrations and make sure everyone’s safe during flooding season. That’s not even counting how he has to train and monitor his disciples and night hunts and the political hellscape!

But Wei Wuxian!! He doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know everything that Jiang Cheng has been taking care of or that he’s just seriously that busy. He thinks he’s being ignored and pushed away and mocked when Jiang Cheng walks by with a quick “Master Wei” and runs off! Because how could Jiang Cheng treat him like that when Wei Wuxian is clearly trying to reconnect. Every offer of night hunting his declined unless it was planned then already and when they do get together Jiang Cheng ignores him! Why is Wei Wuxian even trying!? What’s the point of Jiang Cheng can’t stand him but why can’t he stop trying either??

Meanwhile during those hunts Jiang Cheng is trying to keep an eye on his brother, his twelve disciples, Jin Ling and his entourage, Wei Wuxian’s Lan ducklings, that random Ouyang kid who apparently imprinted on Jin Ling, figure out what they’re hunting, mentally running the math for the cost of the inns for all of them, going through each of the attending Jiang disciples’ personal likes and deciding on whether to buy their favorite snacks or something else as a ‘thank you for not dying’ as has become accidental custom, trying to figure out if it’s weird to get Jin Ling and his friends something nice (CLEARLY he has to get the Ouyang kid something, he apparently has no other friends considering how often he’s just hanging around Lotus pier whenever Jin Ling swings by), and trying to think of he has any other disciples night hunting within a 50 mile radius he should fly out to check on before he sleeps!

Clearly Wei Wuxian just doesn’t care about the Jiang sect and wants to just be annoying but Jiang Cheng is busy! Cant he see that Jiang Cheng is only available on Mondays and Tuesdays during the odd months and Wednesday through Saturday on the even? It’s very clear when Jiang Cheng has time! Why can’t his brother just respect that not everyone has the free time to do whatever the hell they want? Is he flaunting it?!? How dare he!

It’s a giant mess and it only gets worse because Jiang Cheng is diplomatic, he knows how to bow his head when he’s overpowered (though he rarely is nowadays) or when the outcome isn’t worth it. So he doesn’t want to start a fight with Lan Wangji and from there the entire Lan Sect! He’s been holding his tongue for years he can keep doing it, especially if his brother’s happiness is on the line. He can ignore Lan Wangji being rude, he can ignore the dark looks, hell if he thinks Wei Wuxian’s position is threatened at the LAN’s he’ll even play real fucking nice so that Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen won’t do anything to his brother. He did it for Yanli he’ll do it now. (Also added bonus of now Sizhui has started to warm up to him and so he has to be extra polite so his new nephew doesn’t hate him and his free nephew [Jingyi] doesn’t light a building on fire in revenge for someone looking at Hanguang-Jun wrong). He might have snapped at Hanguang-Jun when shit was going down but now Lan Xichen is in seclusion and Jiang Cheng can’t piss odd Lan Wangji no matter how much he wants to chuck a beehive at his head

But Wei Wuxian doesn’t it take it that way! He just sees his brother suddenly calling him Master Wei and won’t interact with him during meetings or before or after and he’s acting so cold towards Lan Zhan! He’s staring right through his brother in law and keeps acting like he doesn’t exist and the only time in the last month Jiang Cheng sought him out was!! To ask!! If he!! COULD HIRE WEI WUXIAN?!? NOT EVEN TO SAY HI OR CHECK ON HIM OR FINALLY ANSWER HIS LETTERS BUT TO ASK HIM TO CREATE TALISMANS FOR THEIR CLOTHES! (Of course he said yes though because hey money and it’s actually fun chatting with the seamstresses) but that’s all his shidi cares about?? What Wei Wuxian can do for him? He doesn’t care about Wei Wuxian at all! Why does Jiang Cheng keep hating him, he thought they were atleast neutral but he keeps going further and further away!!! Wei Wuxian is hurting and his little brother wants nothing to do with him!

Neither of them are IN the wrong but they’re both wrong.

It takes until someone, probably Lan Xichen or Nie Huiasang, points out that “Wei Wuxian… He’s not your shidi anymore, he’s your Sect Leader well a Sect Leader… he’s a Sect Leader to one of the biggest Sects, he’s busy it’s tax season. I wouldn’t want to interact with anyone either.”

Meanwhile Jin Ling or a random slightly more insane then the rest Jiang disciple interrupts Jiang Cheng’s lunch to go “Okay you’re making this worse on literally everyone, Wei Wuxian is clearly trying to make this work why are you being mean? He’s trying!” (Or much more polite for the disciple)

They have to meet up and actually talk things through and honestly *that* only works because Lan Xichen grabs them both by their metaphorical ears and sits them down because “I would like my brother in law, both of them, to stop crying to me because they can’t talk. So now we’re going to learn to communicate and if either of you makes this weird I WILL just start fluting my way out of it and you’ll feel bad.” (Actually he just sits them down together while and he and Jiang Cheng have to go over payments for the next batch of trades and Wei Wuxian passes out on Jiang Cheng halfway through and when he wakes up he swears to never bother him on a work day because that was the worst moment of his life and they end up repairing enough to start the trek to being brothers again

[necros-writing-stuff]

Hi! If it wouldn't be too dark, could we perhaps have something about m!eden accidentally killing (or almost) the pc? Thanks; your blog is my newest fav🌸

Thank you anon 🥺. I'm a big fan of dark content, I'm always happy to write it.

TW for asphyxiation (decided to go for almost killing the PC here, might do actually killing later on). Extremely unhealthy relationship.

Eden hates how panicked he feels walking into town to find you. One day. He promised to let you have one day, and you've been gone three.

So many bad things could have happened. You could have been taken by someone else, been hurt. Or worse, you were avoiding him on purpose. He even has a sketch of you he keeps shoving into people's faces as he hunts for you.

People avoid or cower from him, but he doesn't care. He just needs to find you and drag you home.

He does find you eventually, walking down Oxford Street in your school uniform - laughing with someone. Letting that someone push you in a joking matter. You look so at ease with them. You're never that happy around him.

Eden's anger climbs and climbs as he approaches, and your friend notices first, face dropping.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he growls out, snatching your wrist up and yanking you away from the other student.

"Eden? What are you doing here?" You're shocked, he can tell. Eyes wide, voice going high.

"Looking for you. How long did I say you could stay away?" he leans down and gets in your face as he questions.

"I-I'm sorry, but if I missed any more school the police-"

"Bullshit, you just wanted to spend time with them instead of me, didn't you?" he nods to your friend, who seems equally scared as you.

"What? No, Eden, listen-"

"Enough. We're going home."

You're given no choice as you're dragged off, sending Robin an apologetic glance as Eden takes you away.

The walk home is tense. Eden doesn't let you go, his grip is bruising, but you dare not complain. You know how he can get when he's mad.

As soon as you're back in the cabin, he shoves you onto the floor and moves over to a familiar drawer. The leash comes back out.

"You're staying on this till you learn your place again."

You sigh and let him secure the stupid thing back around your collar. Like hell were you paying that £200 to get it removed.

"Eden, please let me explain," you beg, getting up on your knees.

"Explain what? That you're a whore who'll sleep in anyones bed?"

"I'm not a whore," you spit back at him, his anger fueling your own.

"Then who the fuck was that you were with?" Eden crouches down so you're eye level, but he's no less intimidating.

"That's Robin. They're another orphan, we've been friends for years. There's never been anything other than that between us."

Eden goes silent for a second, running your words through his head.

"Doesn't matter. I saw how they looked at you, it's obvious they-"

"For fucks sake Eden!" you plead, throwing your head back exasperation.

He doesn't like that, tugging on your leash to get your full attention. "Do not take that tone with me."

"Or what?" you laugh out, "What, you'll spank me again? Rape me again? Go ahead, I'm used to it by now."

Eden's face grows dark at your words, but you're too caught up in your rant to notice.

"I'm my own fucking person Eden! I have a life, I have people I care about, you can't just expect me to be some blank slate you can make into your perfect wife, that's not-"

Your sentence is cut off by his hands around your throat. You're pinned to the floor, clawing at the hunters fingers to no avail as he kneels over you.

The clicking noises your throat make as you try to beg, try to breathe are horrible to hear. Eden looks like an animal right now. There's no emotion on his face, just a deathly calm to him as he keeps tightening his grip.

"I'm going to die," you think over and over, "I've pushed him too far, I'm going to die."

Eden isn't sure when the haze that had come over his brain lifts, but he's aware of your hands, once clawing at him, dropping to the floor. Of your skin going blue and your eyes being unfocused and full of tears.

He immediately let's go of your throat, shocked he went so far, and feels relief when you start coughing and gasping for air.

Staying hunched over you as you curl up on your side, sobbing hard as your recover from almost dying, Eden wants to pull you into his arms and stroke your hair to comfort you. He shouldn't have hurt you like that, that was too much.

But when you flinch at his touch, he pulls away. After a moment of consideration, he risks you fighting back and scoops you up, moving you to the bed. You don't stop him.

Not knowing what else to do, Eden goes into the kitchen and starts making tea. One that'll help soothe your throat. When it's done, he tries to give it to you, to press it into your hands, but you're still too upset to take it, so he places it down and just silently stands watching over you.

"I'm sorry," he finally gets out. He hopes you can even hear him right now, because he is. But you make him so angry sometimes. There's no response, if you do hear him.

Sitting next to the bed, he waits for hours for you to calm down. He can see the bruises forming already, and makes a note not to tug on the leash too hard when bringing you around during chores.

You cry yourself to sleep, and Eden eventually climbs into bed with you, pulling you into his arms. At least in your sleep, you shuffle closer to him. He'll put some salve on your neck and make some new tea in the morning. You'll work past this, you have to.

Eden can't lose you. He needs you. Never again will he let himself get that mad.

[teenage-mutant-ninja-freak]

You already know how this one ends

Mob! Mikey x gender neutral reader

Warnings: Murder-spoken about in detail, alcohol mentions. Summery: It’s been such a lovely evening, your boyfriend has taken you out to the movies and dinner and now you’re having a lovely starlit stroll around the park. How could anything be better?

(Authors note: This is a very dark fic, like very dark. It involves a detailed description of someone dying, please read at your own discretion.)

The breeze is cool as you walk arm in arm with Mikey around the park. It had rained earlier, while you were at dinner, and now the damp air is filled with the scent of freshly cut grass and wet concrete but, it wasn’t unpleasant. Looking around, the trees danced in the slight wind and stars could be seen between the few clouds that loomed over you, casting shadows from the almost full moon. It was quiet and serene, just you and him. You hugged your coat a little bit tighter. It was a beautiful one, not cheap either, that he had bought for you; made of alpaca wool, a caramel sort of brown and fluffy. It went down to almost your knees and you loved it very dearly. You called it your ‘teddy bear coat’.

He, Mikey, had taken you to see a movie and then out for dinner at the most lavish place you could imagine. “It’s a special evening” he’d told you but never given you a reason as to why. Now you were walking through a park only a few blocks away from the restaurant and he was pointing out constellations. It was marvellous when he was like this, attentive and sweet and lucid. He had a bad habit of getting locked up inside his own head and becoming distant and irrational. That warm feeling comes over you like a tide in how quickly it rises but less forceful, like air in how it fills you but more tangible. You love him and he loves you, he’s told you hundreds of times before. Maybe he’ll forgive you.

You have a secret, you’re not actually a part time pre-school teacher but, in fact, a detective in the NYPD and you’d been sent to observe him, find out everything you could. It had been thrilling at first, but as it always seems to happen in the movies, you fell for him and fell hard. He kept you out of business, said it was too “unsavoury” for a delicate thing such as yourself so you hadn’t really learned much about it. Of course you tried but, any questions were expertly side stepped or ignored all together. You had, however, spent a lot of time with him- retreats to the country side, trips to Paris or Italy, nights at the theatre and stunning parties at houses bigger than you could ever dream to afford. You had also spent many nights in his bed with him. You had no significant other to return home to so on that first night, the first time it had happened, when he took you in his arms for a passionate kiss and lead you by the hand to his bedroom, you had no objections. He was an excellent lover and you don’t regret a single moment you spent with him. 

Tonight was the night, however, that you had to come clean.

Mikey dropped your arm for a moment to reach into his pocket and pull out a flask and raise it to his lips to take a long swig of what you assumed was whiskey. He edged the flask in your direction as an indication that you should do the same. Your fingers brushed his as you took it from his grasp and the cool liquid stung as it travelled down your throat to heat your belly. You would need all the courage you could muster and liquid courage is as good as any. Handing the leather bound container back to him, he placed it securely in his breast pocket. You sighed. Would it still be like this after he knew the truth?

“And that one’s Orion’s belt. Good story that” he continued.

It had only just occurred to you that he’s been talking for a while now, you were too wrapped up in your own thoughts to listen.

“I haven’t heard that one, tell it to me” you said, now returned to reality and interested in the tale. He was always a good story teller.

“Well Orion was boasting one day to the goddess Artemis, she’s the god of the hunt, you know, and her mother Leto that he could kill any beast on this earth. “Bring it before me and I will lay it down!” he’d said. Very full of himself that guy. I suppose all the gods were, even though he was only like 3/4 god I suppose. So anyway, the earth goddess overheard and devised a plan. a test of sorts. She sent a scorpion to him and the scorpion stung him on the ankle and he died. That’s only one of the stories of it though. Everyone argues about how it actually happened- if he was saving Leto from the scorpion or trying to force himself on Artemis and she sent the little critter. Either way it doesn’t really matter, the outcome is the same. He gets stung and-”

“I need to tell you something!” You weren’t sure where it came from but the words erupted out of you. You couldn’t wait any longer.

“what is it? There’s nothing I don’t already know about you” he stopped walking now and turned to you, putting his hands on your shoulders as if you steady you. You had seemed quite distressed to burst out like that.

“I- well its....Look I love you. I really do” you began

“Well, I’m glad to hear it.“ he laughed. His smile put you at ease. Those perfect teeth and plump lips curving into a half moon shape towards his eyes- eyes that you could get lost in and often did. 

“Hey, just listen. You know I told you that I’m a part time teacher over at saint Johns? Well, that’s not exactly the truth. I’m. Well...”

“you’re a cop” He added

“Exactly! And I’d wanted to tell-. Wait. How did you know that?” you were taken aback. How could he have known? How long had he known? As if he had read your mind, he answered.

“I found out yesterday, talked to my brothers about it.” his voice was lower now, more sombre as if it brought him great sadness to even think about it.

“Where does that leave us?” you asked

There was a long pause, he didn’t look at you but instead behind your right shoulder, staring off into the distance. He seemed quite pensive. Another breeze rolled though the air making you shiver and a bird called out in a far off tree. You were suddenly all too aware that no one was around. It had occurred to you before, made the evening seem more romantic but, now that this information was out in the open it scared you a little. You could see the handle to Mikey’s gun peering out of the holster beneath his blazer. After what felt like minutes of silence, he finally spoke again.

“You already know how this ends” His tone was dire and it sent a chill through you.

Before you could respond and ask what the hell that even meant, a leg, Mikey’s leg, sweeps underneath you- knocking you to the ground. The force of your impact sends a huff of air out of you and the ground is cold and still wet from the earlier rain beneath your form. Before you have time to register what’s going on, he’s on top you you.

His hands go to your throat and tighten dramatically. Surely you think surely this isn’t really happening? He loves me, I know he does. This isn’t really happening. This thought it short lived, however, as your vision is already beginning to dot and you can feel your face reddening and growing hot from the lack of blood and oxygen. His face is contorted above you into a pitiful look and you feel something drip onto your face. Is he crying? You try your best to take a better look and it sent a second chill through you. He’s crying because he has to kill you. 

It may seem daft, lying on your back in an empty park with your lovers hands strangling you and it only just occurred to you, now, that you’re going to die, but everything had happened so quickly and you still loved him, even with his hands around your neck, so much that you didn’t immediately think of that. This sparks something wild in you. Your own hands go to his face, slapping and clawing at him as best you can with limited air and in this position- doing anything you can for another sweet, sweet breath of air. It’s all to no avail, spots are becoming bigger and more frequent in your vision, your arms are tired and your lungs burn from the deprivation of oxygen. Within a minute or so they fall to your sides, slapping his thighs on the way down and you look up at him one final time. 

“I’m sorry” you manage to strain and gargle out. Had you know this would be the last thing you’d say to him, or ever, you might have picked something better. Nonetheless, this was fitting. You were sorry. Sorry for lying, sorry for agreeing to the job and sorry for ever moving to New York in the first place. Somewhere in the back of your mind the image of a scorpion climbing onto a frogs back appears- an old fable your mother used to tell you before bed. They’re half way across the river when it stings and the water is dark and angry as they both get pulled under. “It is in my nature” was the scorpion’s response. This is how you felt about Mikey., you could not hate him for it, as much as that would be the easiest emotion to conjure up, as he was simply doing what he knows. What he does best. What’s in his nature.

Your vision slowly begins to vignette until only a pinprick of sight is left. He is still crying, still straining to choke the life from you as quickly as possible- you suppose that’s the only mercy he can give you right now. A quick death. With all that’s left of your vision, you look up. The stars are still beaming up above you and Orion’s belt is shining in all it’s glory. Of all the things you could notice right now, the stars were probably the best one. You blink slowly, a small wheezing sound escapes your lips and before you can think of anything else, the world goes dark.

________________

He stays like that for a few minutes after your eyes close, making sure every last string of life has been well and truly drained from you. He’s still crying as he does it. Eventually he will raise himself up, wipe the tears from his face and take a quick look around. The park is still empty, still dark and for the first time this evening he is alone. It does not feel good. He looks down at his hands. Hands that were toughed by work and age, hands that had done unspeakable things that he couldn’t admit to himself let alone to you.

Slowly he will walk home, close the front door behind him and lock it. “Is it done?” His brother will say to him, he forgets which one. “Yes” he will reply. They will say something else, but he isn’t listening. That night he will drink himself stupid, until there are no more thoughts of hands and throats and eyes looking into his that are lit up by the stars above. It’ll become a fever dream and nothing more.

Tomorrow a paper will be placed in front of him, the headline will say something about a dead NYPD officer. He will not read it.

The End.

[leviiattacks]

your angst is really good and i wanted to may i request guard levi and princess reader, they have an affair because they end up falling in love but one day levi can’t protect her because he takes his eyes off her and idk the plot i just felt like crying today and i need a reason so just something angsty😭

note :: i saw this and really wanted to write something but i’m not really sure if i did well it’s shorter than what i normally write but hopefully i did some justice to your request. requests are open so feel free to drop by again and request if you want to !!

++ might make this into an actual fic perhaps,,, minus the dying and what not but guard levi is a very interesting concept to me hmm

warnings :: blood, death, infidelity

No one knows or is able to understand why or how Levi is having such a hard time coping with your death. You are the princess of the nation and he, your guard. Nothing more, nothing less.

At least that’s what everyone else in the Kingdom thinks.

Every night he greets your book shelf like a mad man. Well, it’s all he has to remember you by, why would he ever let it go with ease?

"What you reading? Another sappy romance novel?" He's poked his head from a corner and you grin up at him telling him that you are indeed indulging in another piece of romantic fiction.

For an unknown reason dread fills his gut when he meets your smile, that's never happened before.

It's a bad omen, a sign that he's fallen but is in denial, refutation, rejection, contradiction whatever it is he can't find an appropriate word for it. All he knows is he'll regret this later. He doesn't know why but the sinking feeling in his stomach is an indication that this forbidden romance the two of you share in secrecy will go South.

It’s silent apart from your humming.

"Levi... can you promise me you'll live a long happy life?" The out of place question is worrying. Another premonition and he opens his mouth to voice his concern. However your gaze lingers on his face telling him to not cause a dispute, not right now.

"If you promise me the same, then yes My Lady."

Looking away you're awake but distant. "We are in privacy. You may use my name Levi."

"And, I don't know if I can live a long and happy life. I can try." The slow confession only makes his heart race uncomfortably.

He sighs sitting beside you, your shoulders rub against his. "Then I retract my previous statement. I cannot possibly live a happy life when the princess is discontent."

You flail your arms around, hands are flapping in front of your chest in an attempt to convince him to not think so foolishly.

He narrows his eyes. Expression unreadable, a mix of frustration, maybe even premature grief. It's enough to coax an agreement out of you.

"Very well, I promise to live happy."

Fists clenching your bed sheets he damns himself to Hell for ignoring his instincts. For putting your life in jeopardy all for his own temporary satisfaction.

His forehead hits the plush duvet and he inhales the linen hoping that your smell lingers, hoping that the vanilla is still present. Hoping there’s something left to prove he hasn’t made you up. He fears he’ll forget your scent, your voice, your touch. He fears he’ll forget it all.

If he had followed orders, never let himself grow emotionally involved perhaps you would still be here. Perhaps, if he didn't lead you astray and convince you to betray royalty by pursuing what the two of you shared, maybe just maybe you would still be alive and well.

He'll end up in damnation for all the pain and suffering he's caused you, He curses himself every day for having the nerve to fall in love with a member of Royalty.

No matter how well respected or how strong he was in the military he never had the power to protect you from the political turmoil your family was submerged in. He wasn't of Royal blood, there was nothing he could do to protect you.

One of you would die first, and die you did.

He assumes he was made to suffer through that bleak, unwelcoming night for a reason. That's why he had to see the enemy take you away from him, he needed to be given a reality check.

Royalty and commoners are worlds apart for a reason.

You scream at the world as you call for him, shrieking as the blade erupts from your stomach. It’s throbbing and strumming in vengeance. The contents of your belly become one with the floor but the pungent stench isn't enough to pry Levi away from you. The air is quickly fogging up with the scent of your blood and insides. You whimper, you cry, you sob staring at the heavens.

"You are not dying on me, You can't be dying on me, I won't let you die on me. We haven't said goodbye properly, you can't just-"

"Yes I can Levi. I am not immortal." There you are laughing as you wilt in his arms, you disregard the emptiness you feel, you need to comfort him. Withering away isn't an option for now.

Frantically attempting to staunch the wound to no avail Levi is distraught when he feels you slipping away from him. "You promised to live a long happy life." He murmurs in betrayal, his eyes are glazed over in complete shock.

Panting out of exhaustion and pressing down firmer he's pleading you to not let go of him just yet.

You watch him unravel above you, eyes squeezed shut, he’s lurching forward burying the sounds that want to escape from his chest so badly.

Your shaking hands travel to his cheeks cupping them gently and you draw hesitant circles into his cold skin.

Levi’s tears fall and you sense the dampness coat your fingertips.

"If you were paying attention you would know I promised to live happy Levi, not live long."

You broke the promise, an early death is not dying happy.

He's stunned, he should’ve known you’d pull something like that.

"You made me the happiest Levi."

He thinks that’s a lie.

You break under the pressure and finally admit how you feel.

"I'm scared, what if we never-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, we will do what we've planned. I promise." He growls assertive in his point of view.

But, you know it's too late. Placing his unsteady hand above your heart you let your other hand fall from his face. The energy is being drained out of you quicker than expected.

"I dreamt about you last night, dreamt we could be happy.” You hack and gasp desperately for breath but much to Levi’s horrified gaze the blood only trickles down your chin. “I hope we reunite whether that be in the afterlife if that place is real or in another life entirely. We will become lovers but we can't indulge in that luxury right now."

"No, no, no. Shut up, stop talking you're wasting your breath you need to-"

"I love you Levi, please live happily for me."

Then you are limp.

His eyes shoot open as the scene draws to an end. Yet another nightmare has plagued him, one where he is reminded of your passing.

The title of murderer is self appointed, he holds himself responsible for taking his eyes off you. It gave your assassin the perfect window of opportunity to strike, it had been enough to take you out like a faltering light.

Sometimes as he drinks into the night trying to forget it all. He wonders if everything would be different if he had kept his love for you locked away.

Would you still be alive and married to that other man whilst he would have to watch on in pain?

But nothing would be more painful than now, he’d rather watch that instead of accept that you are long gone.

Would you still be alive and forced to bed your horrible fiancé?

Would you carry that man’s children?

He hates himself for confessing and telling you how he felt. He despises that you had to suffer for his sin.

But, that’s the issue with love. It had made the danger in Levi look like safety to you and it had made the danger in you look like peace to Levi.

There are reasons why a guard and his princess should never mingle.

After all, they are worlds apart for a reason.

[nancywheelxr]

i'm not sure if you prefer more specific prompts but if you have any interest, something canon-era (compliant or divergence) in the realm of "ye baiyi & every- or anyone"? whichever characters you wanna include; a moment or moments where he feels like maybe there is a little more to the rest of his life than duty and death. it's not only warm food he's been starved of for decades. your writing is great, i hope you're having a good day!

hi! thank you sm! i love getting prompts regardless, honestly, the only difference is that more specific ones tend to get done faster if only bc I already have a loose idea where to go with it! anyway, this somehow turned into a fix-it. that being said, I hope you’re having a lovely day too!

*

i.

They’re so painfully young.

A bird chirps in a tree somewhere nearby and around the fire, Qin Huaizhang’s disciple throws the blanket on the Wen brat’s face. What set off his sensibilities this time, Ye Baiyi doesn’t know, it might have been the perceived coddling, it might have simply been the fussing– either way, it’s pointless. Does he not know the brat will simply wait until he’s asleep to cover him? Does he not know their ridiculous dance around each other is nothing but time wasted?

How do the young ever get anything done?

Foolish. Have they ever been that foolish? Changqing, he knows, was a most ridiculous man with even more ridiculous ideas– who’s the bigger idiot, then, the fool or the one who loves him? 

“Ye-qianbei,” the boy appears at his side, wide-eyed like a newborn deer and with legs as shaky as one too, “if you’re cold, we have more blankets.”

The absurdity of the situation– to ask Ye Baiyi if he’s cold! What’s the night chill compared to the snowy grounds of his mountain? To him, is this not warm weather? “Little fool,” he says, shaking his head even as he laughs, “you’d do better worrying about your idiot master and his idiot friend.”

The kid looks across the fire, grimaces. “I don’t dare, I don’t dare! My brothers used to tell me not to get in the way when my parents were arguing!”

What a ridiculous child. Ye Baiyi laughs again. “They’re not arguing, they’re being dumb. Watch this,” he flicks a little rock at them, hitting Qin Huaizhang’s disciple in the forehead and earning an outraged glare from the Wen brat. “Qing Huaizhang’s disciple, your disciple is freezing off while you’re fooling around. Is this how you the two of you are going to raise your child?”

Beside him, the kid makes a startled little noise like a scared little rabbit before launching into a stuttering denial, but it’s too late, Qin Huaizhang’s disciple has already turned to focus on him as if smelling blood. “Chengling, are you cold? Why didn’t you say so?”

“Ah, no, no, I’m really not,” he tries, but he is, he wouldn’t have known to worry about others if he hadn’t been feeling the chill himself. “Ye-qianbei! Ye-qianbei–”

“Ah, ah!” Wen Kexing interrupts, shaking a finger in his direction, “why are you calling him? Come here, have this blanket since your Shifu is being stubborn.”

The boy goes obediently, shuffling around and nearly tripping on the log, and allows the Wen brat to wrap the blanket around his shoulders. Predictably, once he’s tucked in, the kid beams, pulling it tightly around himself. 

“Chengling, if you’re cold, you have to tell us,” says Qin Huaizhang’s disciple as if that’s a scolding, as if he’s not fussing over the child himself, stoking the fire and throwing in more kindling. 

A silly child with even sillier parents. Ye Baiyi snorts, shaking his head, and for a fleeting moment, he imagines walking this path alone– searching for the truth on his own, a silent forest stretching all the way to Longyuan Cabinet, only his footsteps left behind to prove he was even there at all– whatever. Picking up Qin Huaizhang’s dumb disciple and his dumb companions might not have been his worst decision so far. 

Maybe he could have found the place already if he were on his own, but at the very least they’re entertaining. Ridiculous, he thinks fondly, shaking his head at the blanket the kid has left folded at his feet.

*

ii.

What a mess.

Rong Xuan, you little brat, he thinks. How long has it been since the boy had first toddled up to him, little hands grabbing fistfuls of his robes? Too many, an eternity, and now nearly all of the boy’s friends are dead, all but one, and Ye Baiyi has to pay his respects to this freshly dug grave in his place. 

What a mess.

If you were in trouble, why didn’t you come back? Questions, questions, it’s too easy to ask them now. Why didn’t you ask for help? Why didn’t you send for us? Why did you think it would accomplish, running away? Stupid child, did you think we would turn you away? 

No, there’s no use asking them now, no point in dwelling in the past. What is there to change, after it already happened? Life is a very long road and the past is a land too distant to travel back to; Ye Baiyi would rather focus on the now.

Avenging their child had not been part of the promise he made to Changqing, but Ye Baiyi found the truth of this matter as he told him he would and the truth of it is that someone poisoned his disciple, his child. This cannot go unpunished, so for a while longer, he’ll live.

Further still, a little ways down, is Wen Kexing, whose parents died for Rong Xuan’s mistakes. A child growing up in a harsh world on his own. This debt, he’ll repay too.

For all that he gives his promises away like currency, Ye Baiyi is not sure how he feels about the piling of them– they stretch his finally numbered days, always pushing the deadline further. After the Heroes Conference, he’ll be done with the Ghost Valley. After he finds Rong Xuan’s murderer, he’ll be done with this mess. After he repays Wen Kexing, he will be at peace. 

And then–

Well. And then wine. Warm food. That was the plan, was it not? Heavens, he’s beginning to sound like Qin Huaizhang’s silly disciple, isn’t he? This won’t do. Changqing, even you would laugh at them. Tell me, then, if you were here, what would you do? Ah, something nonsensical, most likely, like go watch the plum trees bloom.

Ye Baiyi shakes his head, laughs. Changqing ah, won’t you tell me what to do? Maybe this time I’ll listen to you.

*

iii.

What kind of nonsense is this?

In all fairness, as much as his opinion of Wen Kexing has been as changing as the seasons, his uncanny ability to be an annoying nuisance has never flickered. He was annoying when he was staring down Ye Baiyi’s sword and he was annoying when he kneeled on the forest bed in apology and plea. 

Surely, it’s no surprise that he is annoying now, allegedly dead.

And yet, Ye Baiyi had not anticipated this level of stupidity from him: the brat did not tell Qin Huaizhang’s disciple of his plan.

Children, honestly. 

Now, the hem of his robes is wet and a few feet away, Qin Huaizhang’s disciple is wasting perfectly good wine in an unnecessarily dramatic manner. “Whatever stupid thing you’re planning,” Ye Baiyi says, eyeing the broken jar by the rocks, the dullness around the brat, “don’t.”

Zhou Zishu whirls on him with all the grace of a dying wet cat as if he’s in any condition to be fighting anyone, as if his hands weren’t shaking and his steps didn’t falter. The sword, once elegant and proud, wavers. Stupid boy. “Ye Baiyi, you–”

“Have you lost your manners down that jar? Or just your common sense? Put that away before I knock it off your hand myself,” he sighs, shaking his head. He should have stayed in his rooms, like planned, until the Heroes Conference; none of this has anything to do with him, his role in this play is mostly over, he just has to wait it out the intermission. And yet. “What kind of nonsense were you thinking? That fool, Wen Kexing, ran around for days like a headless chicken trying to save you and for what? You to throw it away?”

“What’s the point?” Qin Huaizhang’s disciple laughs, cold as the mountains, “what’s the point if he’s not here? Tell me, qianbei, why should I care to live if my soulmate is gone?”

His sword is dragging up the mud and Ye Baiyi wants to call him disrespectful for it, but the sight of it alone dredges up a well of grief that drowns the words in his throat. Why, indeed. This terrible emptiness, Ye Baiyi knows well– the hollow silence that comes where once a familiar voice called your name, the cold where once there was warmth, a hand never reaching back. Snow, all through summer and spring.

“Because that dumb disciple of yours will not last a day on his own,” he tells him, watching the water run towards the cliff’s edge, “because Qin Huaizhang has only you to pass on his legacy. Because that ridiculous hairpin on your head.”

“That’s not fair,” Qin Huaizhang’s disciple says, sounding exactly like he had been about to do something incredibly stupid earlier that would render this entire charade pointless from the start.

Truth be told, few things are, least of all, fate. Ah, but Ye Baiyi had unchanging decades to come to terms with that, perhaps he should spare the boy the heartache, unfounded as it is. “It’s not, but enough is enough. What are you crying for? Did you think it’s that easy to get rid of that pest? He should be ashamed if a little tumble is all it took.”

“Qianbei… you mean?”

Ye Baiyi heaves a pointedly tired sigh. “Yes, yes, the brat is alive. Probably holed up somewhere in that blasted valley of his.”

Qin Huaizhang’s disciple is as wide-eyed as his baby-deer disciple and if he actually starts crying, Ye Baiyi will drag Wen Kexing out of hiding kicking and screaming just to push him down the cliff again for making him witness this. He’s too old, he has little patience for the dramatics of the young, and he’s supposed to be drinking the best wine from the Yueyang area. 

So before he’s pulled even further into their nonsense, Ye Baiyi turns away, back to town and his quarters where he can drink and meditate in peace and really, Qin-xiaozi, your disciple is even sillier than you. 

At his back, he hears Zhou Zishu call, but his voice is lost to the waterfalls and Ye Baiyi makes no real effort to catch the words. What’s there to say? Pah, he’s already done more than his share on this, at no point did he promise to intervene on their pointless little dance. Once this is all over, that brat has better pay for all the wine in the land. And make those dumplings, too, for good measure.

*

iv.

Nobody told him whose wedding this is.

Considering they are in this thrice-damned place, he’s assuming it’s one of the ghosts, but Ye Baiyi figures the brat would be more annoying if it was his and Qin Huaizhang’s disciple’s. Then again, his own presence here is unfathomable, as is the insistence with which the little idiot had asked him to come. What on earth has Qin Huaizhang’s disciple told that child? Give someone an inch and they’ll take a mile, truly– now that boy is running around thinking Ye Baiyi cares about these lunatics.

“Who let him in!” Wen Kexing is screeching from somewhere, and Ye Baiyi mourns his peace as the brat approaches with his purple shadow trailing after. Had she been there this entire time? He squints. No, he would have noticed it, she’s very loud. “Old toad monster! Why are you still here? Who allowed you past the gates?”

“Who are you to tell me where to go?” He scoffs, flicking his sleeves as he crosses his arms. Nearby, a ghost hastily scurries away. “And it was your dumb disciple who begged me to be here. For what? Will there even be a banquet? And you call that decorations? That lantern is so crooked, it’s offensive!”

The purple child bristles. “Ah! And who does that silly boy think he is, inviting people to my wedding! Old man, you! Of course there’s gonna be food! Master and Luo-yi have been–”

“A-Xiang!” The brat cuts her off, closed fan tapping her forehead, as if everyone and their grandmothers don’t already know he’s been running around making preparations. What face is there to save, shameless as he is? If Ye Baiyi was a lesser man, he might have rolled his eyes. “Stop running your mouth, what is your husband going to say? And you! What crooked lantern? You’re going blind in your age!”

Still, even as he speaks, a pointed glare sends the ghosts scattering like mice, rushing to check on the decorations. Ridiculous. “No wonder the girl has no manners. What, you only know how to be polite when asking for something?”

Wen Kexing grumbles. “This one apologizes, qianbei.”

Well, that’s certainly worse. Unsettling. If even Wen Kexing starts being deferential, then what has the world come to? No, Ye Baiyi finds he’d prefer the brashness. Stupid child, what’s the point in changing his tune now? Pah. “Girl,” he says to that purple wisp of a thing, “your master is a pest. Where’s the wine?”

Baffling enough, the girl laughs, tugging at her master’s sleeves. “Master, master, Zishu-ge was right! You did make a friend!”

“What nonsense is this! Don’t you know when A-Xu is teasing? Friends! As if–”

“What rubbish have you been filling these children’s heads with?” He shakes a threatening finger in their direction. Not that it matters, considering the girl has already stepped back, giggling as she sidesteps Wen Kexing’s fan. 

Leaving them to their childishness, Ye Baiyi slips out of the crowd, picking a jar of wine as he goes. The alcohol is good, burning down his throat, and he hadn’t thought he’d step foot in the Ghost Valley, not like this. Something in him will always recoil at this place, always lay the blame at the valley’s mouth, a yawning jaw that’s swallowed whole the people most precious to him with no mercy. 

And yet, Changqing ah, you bastard, look at it. They’re holding a damned wedding, and here Ye Baiyi is, drinking their wine. Are you happy now? Did you become a bodhisattva yet? Fate makes fools of them all, there’s no way around it. He pours the wine over the rocks, lets it spill and run like blood. Xuan’er, did I not tell you not to climb so high? That shifu wouldn’t always be there to catch you if you slip on the ice? Ye Baiyi laughs at the memory– always clear in his mind, suspended in time, unfading, even if his sight blurs with tears– that boy, always scaring them half to death, climbing up the frozen mountainside as a child, then crying in fright once he looked down. 

“Look at the mess you’ve both left me,” he says out loud, downing the rest of the wine, and the silence is never quite as loud as in the hollow space where another would speak. For so long, Ye Baiyi knew to leave room for Changqing’s teasing, for their child’s incessant questions, even Rong-furen’s tired voice. Then, nothing. “What do you have to say for yourself, hm? Typical. I’ll drink for all of us this time, then, how about it? Changqing, I’m keeping my promises, so you’d better keep yours or I’ll–” 

The jar breaks where it falls from his fingers and he shakes his head as if dispelling the murky thoughts from his head. Perhaps, coming here was a mistake. The ashes have already been sent back to Changming, so what business does he have in this place? To see it closed with his own eyes? Besides, a wedding or two, a handful of people, are not worth the bloodshed creating the valley has brought, no matter what Changqing might say. 

Is this a comforting story to be told later, if– by the bridge, in case– 

His thoughts grind to a halt, veering off suddenly into attention to his surroundings. Someone is coming. Indeed, from his place near the entrance, Ye Baiyi can see in the distance a mob climbing up the path, silent as thieves in the night, with only a blue streak of disciples in plain sight at the front.

So much for avoiding bloodshed. Did they even wait for the dust to settle after the monks left town? And what kind of harebrained scheme is this? Has this generation been born with no brains? Such a reckless, petty move! No honor, agreeing to something and then plunging the knife behind their backs. 

There is little time to curse their dishonesty, though, with their numbers fast approaching, so Ye Baiyi swipes a last look at the desolate landscape and slips back inside to sound the alarms. After all, heaven knows that little purple girl will be terribly loud if she doesn’t get her wedding, and Ye Baiyi is not looking forward to remembering what headaches feel like. Honestly, if these people would stop nearly dying for five fucking minutes–

*

v.

Today, the mirror showed a new patch of white hair, faint lines at the corner of his eyes. 

Time, it seems, is catching up to him.

It’s exhilarating.

The plum trees have already lost their blossoms, winter gone as swiftly as it came, the cold melting to the lingering warmth of spring. Today, he walks past blooming azaleas, purple and red radiant against the blue backdrop of the sky.

It brings him to little Qin Huaizhang standing beside Rong Xuan, trying so very hard to impress his friend’s seniors with all the desperation of youth. The poetry he had waxed about his sect’s gardens– Four Seasons Manor, blooming all year round! Ye Baiyi had found him so silly, blabbering while Rong Xuan beamed, so quick to pick the fights Rong Xuan dropped. 

At the time, had he not thought history was repeating itself, if kinder? The Baiyi sword, gifted with the promise to keep his dumb disciple out of trouble? He still remembers Changqing’s face, the hypocrite. So exchanging swords for cursed books is fine, but anything else and you draw the line? At least promises were as reliable as the person making them. 

Now, he has to admit, the silly boy had not been wrong– Four Seasons Manor stands in more color than Ye Baiyi had thought possible. If he’ll have time to witness all its blooms, he doesn’t know, but this spring, he’s here, and isn’t that enough?

At the gates, the young disciple lets him in without a word, bowing respectfully like his seniors have never done. Good. At the very least, those two good-for-nothing brats had the decency to forewarn their juniors of his arrival. How long has it been since Qin Huaizhang’s disciple woke up from the procedure? Aiyah, Ye Baiyi can’t remember, he had been traveling south at the time. 

Well, it’s long enough to be past the need for coddling, that’s for sure. “Qin Huaizhang’s disciple, what kind of Sect Leader are you that you won’t come greet your esteemed guest?”

“Not really a Sect Leader,” comes the voice from his left as Zhou Zishu rounds into view, his silly disciple trailing faithfully after him. He looks better now, death no longer draped over his shoulders like a shroud, smiling like he found peace somewhere in the months since that disastrous wedding. “Qianbei, this one is honored to welcome you to our house. You’ve come at a good time, A-Xiang is visiting with her husband too.”

“Who’s an esteemed guest here? All I’m hearing is a bunch of freeloaders!” says Wen Kexing from somewhere inside the building, just as loud and brash as always, and following his words, the thundering footsteps of children. 

Ye Baiyi snorts, shakes his head. Changqing ah, wait a little while longer, will you? I’m on my way, but I have some places to visit first. Meet me by the bridge, I’ll tell you all about it in a bit.

[sulphuryasecretcloset]

What if...? Part 9

Brace yourself, bring tissues and I will try to have the last bit/epilogue up real soon! Don’t look at me, I know I said this was the last part, but honestly, when it hit 12 pages I had to stop it there! And you lovely LOVELY enablers with your amazing comments and incredibly kind reblogs? Thank you for brightening my day! <3

-

What if Dulsissia hadn’t died, what if she had grabbed Corin and fled? What if she met Davarax? What if…

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Part 9

“We have to warn them.” Dulsissia whispers, her fingers toying with the fabric covering Davarax’ collarbone. “They have to move.”

“What are you talking about?” Davarax mumbles.

“The Covert.” Dulsissia replies, feeling an anxious knot in her stomach. “Macero knows Vecon found me on Nevarro. It’s not safe there any more. He will want revenge for his brother, Corin back in his claws and… me.”

“That’s not going to happen.” Davarax replies with lazy confidence.

“Do not underestimate his anger and the force he will use.” Dulsissia sits up to properly face him.

Davarax looks at her for a second then nods. “I hear you. I do. But do not underestimate the Covert. We are Mandalorians. We have survived worse things than Macero Valentis.”

Dulsissia isn’t too sure about that. She has seen an emptiness in Macero’s eyes that only belongs in black holes, the kind that simply exists to crush everything it touches, something that should not live in any human being’s eyes. But then her gaze drops to the blood glistering on Davarax’ clothing and she decides to deal with what she has right in front of her first.

“Come on. Off with it.” Dulsissia gets up and starts to detach Davarax’ breastplate. “Let me see.”

“It’s fine.” Davarax sighs, but helps her remove it and then his clothing, baring his torso, riddled with cuts and bruises and covered with sticky blood. “I’m fine.”

“This is not fine.” Dulsissia hisses, doing a quick examination of the wounds, especially where Vecon had stabbed him.

“Just a cut.” Davarax reassures her, trying to sound unfazed despite exhaustion creeping into his voice.

“Luckily he didn’t get the angle right.” Dulsissia mumbles. “Held the blade all wrong.”

She’s distracted by Davarax taking a gentle hold of her chin, making her look up at his t-visor and Davarax runs his thumb over her lower lip. “That’s my girl.” He sounds proud.

Flushing, Dulsissia pulls away and straightens up. “Do you have any bacta on the ship?”

He should, right? Mandalorians tend to get into fights all the time, so it would only be sensible.

Davarax points up and she sees the small compartment in the ceiling, which turns out to have a kit with bandages, a little bacta and a cauterizer thing that she quickly shoves back into the compartment.

She ends up sitting on his knee as the silly man refuses to leave the pilot seat in case some TIE fighters should appear out of nowhere and she begins to gingerly wash away the sticky blood and apply bandages to the injuries, trying not to think about how the last time she’d touched his skin it had been under so much happier circumstances. She hates knowing he will now carry even more scars because of her. And in the dark corners of her mind, she is glad Vecon is dead.

“How is Corin?” Dulsissia asks, dreading the answer. Her poor boy.

“Scared out of his mind that he’ll never see his mother again.” Davarax sighs, running his hand along her arm in an absent-minded caress. “When we get closer to Nevarro, I’ll try to reach him.”

“And the rest of the kids?”

That actually brings forth the Davaraxian laughter huff. “I had to physically wrestle Paz off the ship when he heard I was going. If he had a blaster, he would have shot me.” His hand rounds her shoulder and moves up her neck to cup the side of her face. “They’ve all been desperate to get you back. Like me.”

“I’m sorry.” Dulsissia mumbles, gently patting down the edges of a bacta patch on his stab wound. “I didn’t see him before it was too late. And then I just wanted them away from all of you.”

“Hey.” Davarax takes a gentle but firm grip on her wrist, halting her movement, making her look at his visor. “This was not your fault. This was all them. You have nothing to apologize for.”

Dulsissia looks at the residual blood still drying on his skin. “Maybe not. But the fact remains that without me stumbling into your life, you wouldn’t be bleeding right now.”

“Without me barging into yours, I wouldn’t be sitting here, that’s true.” Davarax replies, gently caressing her wrist. “I wouldn’t be with you. My days wouldn’t bring happy memories instead of feeling guilty all the time. I wouldn’t come home to my kids smiling instead of crying, hiding away while being terrified for their lives or without a voice because they have been screaming themselves hoarse.” His hand moves up to brush the back of his fingers across her bruised cheekbone with heart breaking tenderness. “That’s worth more than bleeding for, cyare. That’s worth dying for.”

Closing her eyes, Dulsissia takes a hold of his hand and moves it down to press her lips to it. “Other than the love I felt for my son, I didn’t know what love was until I met you.” She shivers. “Don’t talk about dying because it feels like tempting fate and I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

“Then, maybe, if you feel like that, would you…” Davarax says, tensing up a little.

Waiting for him to finish the sentence and frowning a little when he doesn’t, Dulsissia kisses his hand again. “Would I what?” The man just took on an entire imperial ship by himself without hesitation, but a simple request frightens him? How is that possible?

Davarax exhales, as if letting go of something, and tilts his head while making a thoughtful sound. “Would you let me compliment you on the dress? It’s lovely. And really brings out the colour of your eyes.”

Laughing, Dulsissia shakes her head and goes back to focus on cleaning and bandaging him up. “Thank you. I kind of like it myself. Impractical, but pretty. I was thinking about keeping it.”

“I think you should.” Davarax drawls, toying with the thin shoulder strap. “Definitely.”

-

“Mom?” Corin’s voice across the com link is desperate and hopeful at the same time.

It hurts endlessly more than any physical pain.

“I’m here, Corin.” Dulsissia replies, eyes welling up with tears and yet makes sure to keep her voice calm. “I’m right here, baby. I’m okay. Are you okay? Me and Davarax are coming home now.”

The reply is a mess of voices as all the children try to say something at the same time, making Dulsissia reach out and touch the speaker as if she could reach them. They all sound so worried.

“SHUT UP!” Paz’ voice roars and Dulsissia expects the other children jump like she does because there is silence before Paz’ voice is heard again, calm this time; “Dulcy, when will you be landing?”

Dulsissia looks over at Davarax, who is standing next to her while she sits in the pilot seat, and he leans down to tap something into one of the machines before holding up five fingers to her.

“Five standard hours.” Dulsissia replies, reaching out and touching the speaker again. “Okay? Five. Then we’ll be back with you. Is Corin okay, Paz? Are you okay? How, how are-”

“He’s okay.” Paz replies. His voice is suddenly a little shaky too. “We’re all… okay. Just, hurry home.” A moment’s pause before he adds in almost a whisper. “Please.”

“Five hours, Paz, sweetie, I promise.” Dulsissia gulps down some air. “Corin, baby, you hear me?”

“I’m here, mom.” His voice is choked with tears. “Is… Is uncle Vecon with you?”

Dulsissia hesitates, glances over at Davarax who stands like a silent guardian next to her, then focuses on the speaker again. “No. It’s just me and Davarax. Don’t worry, Corin.”

“Did you kick his ass?” Raga’s voice pipes up. “I hope you kicked his ass.”

“Of course they kicked his ass.” Din scoffs. “Davarax would never let someone take Dulcy away and not kick their ass.”

Dulsissia hesitates, glances over at Davarax again and this time he shrugs, so she turns back to the speaker with an awkward look on her face. “Yeah, uhm, there was. Serious ass-kicking.”

“Can’t you come home sooner, mom?” Corin pleads.

“I wish, Corin, but we can’t. We’re going as fast as we can. But we’ll be there soon.” Dulsissia replies, hating she can’t grant her son’s wish and just appear in front of him. But there is one voice missing. “Barthor, baby, you there?”

There is a second of silence and then there is a cautious and slightly surprised; “...Yeah?”

“I just wanted to hear your voice. You okay?”

Another moment of hesitation before Barthor replies. “Y-yeah. I’m, uhm, yeah. Just… What they said. Hurry back.”

Dulsissia can’t help but to smile a little as she can practically ‘hear’ him blushing and Davarax must hear it too as his hand touches her shoulder and gives it a light, teasing squeeze. “We will.”

The five hours are spent half-drowsing in Davarax’ arms after he takes over the pilot seat and pulls her down on his lap. She tries to relocate to her own seat, claiming she has to be cutting off the blood supply to his legs after a while, but he refuses to let go and they end up staying like that.

And the only feeling that can compete with the peace she feels in his arms is the one she gets when she steps through the door to the Covert and Corin flings himself into her arms.

Din rushes over, wraps his arms around Davarax’ waist and buries his face in his stomach, while the Mandalorian gently strokes his hair.

Kneeling down and hugging her son close, giving up on holding back sobs of joy, Dulsissia peppers his hair with kisses and feels his thin arms trying to hold on even tighter. Her boy is shivering so hard it’s scary. She pets his back, his hair, continues to kiss him and squeeze him tight.

It’s almost accidental when she looks up and sees the other children standing there. Raga is clinging to Paz’ arm, tears in her eyes. Barthor hovers in the back, tears in his eyes. And Paz… who knows. The helmet doesn’t reveal anything.

Dulsissia manages a weak smile and reaches out an inviting arm.

Raga bolts forward and crashes into her so hard it kind of hurts, but Dulsissia hugs her close and Corin automatically wraps his arm around her as well. Getting Barthor to come over takes a little fingerwaggling and a nod, but eventually he slinks over. Din joins when Davarax gives him a gentle push in their direction. It feels so right, so lovely, so perfect to just hug them, squeeze them and reassure them.

Arms crossed, Paz watches them, not moving when she tries to wave him closer. In the end, she ushers her armful over to Davarax and lets them unleash their hugs on him before straightening up and stepping over to stand in front of the quiet boy.

“No hug?” She asks.

“Kids first.” He replies in a curt tone.

Dulsissia pulls him close, hugs him tight and whispers; “The helmet doesn’t change anything, tough guy. You’re still my baby. Just like the others. Always. Remember?”

Paz hesitates, then his arms slowly come up and go around her in return. “Okay…” And in that moment, he does sound terribly young and even a little lost.

Eventually Davarax makes a slight grunt and says; “Maybe we can head inside?”

Dulsissia looks over and has to smile a little as she sees he’s balancing the climbing Raga on one shoulder while Corin is holding on to his free hand with both of his. “Yeah, let’s go.”

-

The children marches on ahead, except for Corin who insists on holding on to her hand and walk next to her, and Dulsissia uses the chance to lean over towards Davarax beside her and whisper; “We have to warn them, remember?”

Davarax nods. “I remember. But it’s late. Even if we go and try to talk to her, nothing will be done tonight. It’s better to wait for morning. We got time. Tomorrow, I’ll take you to her tomorrow.”

Dulsissia sighs. “Davarax…”

“Trust me.” He says, reaching out and sliding his hand behind her neck, giving it a light and teasing squeeze. “I know what I’m doing.”

She trusts him, she really does. It’s just that Dulsissia has this horrible feeling…

They enter her and Corin’s room, where she sits down on the bed, Corin still attached to her arm, while Davarax hovers by the door and the children barely has time to settle in a semi-circle on the floor before they start asking questions about what had happened to her while she was away.

Dulsissia manages to weed out some answers of her own. Like she suspected, her cookie customers had happily told the tale of what had happened to her and after that, it was easy to weed out which ship had arrived and the name of the officer.

“It’s late.” Davarax points out when Raga mutters about how he had to go alone to save her. “You kids should head home.”

“Can…” Din clears his throat, shifts his position a little awkwardly. “Can I stay here tonight?”

Corin nods. “He has bad dreams, mom. He dreamt the droids got you.”

Heart breaking, Dulsissia looks over at Davarax, who sighs and starts prodding at his vambrace.

“I’ll ask them.” He mumbles.

“Me too!” Raga shouts. “Can I stay too? Please?” She meekly offers; “I-I’ll be good. I promise.”

“If you’re staying, I’m staying.” Paz mutters.

“What about you?” Dulsissia asks as she sees Barthor stare at the floor.

The young boy scoffs. “My mom will never let me sleep over.”

“Want to bet?” Davarax says, a slight edge to his voice.

Looking around the room, Dulsissia quickly calculates that while the children will most likely pile up together like they did on the camping trip, there really isn’t enough bedding to make comfortable mattresses for them. She has an idea…

Dulsissia clears her throat. “How about… we all spend the night in Davarax’ room?”

The man’s t-visor snaps up from staring at the vambrace he’s prodding at. “Say what now?”

Din lights up like a sunrise. He stares at his hero and role model by the doorway. “Oh, can we?”

Davarax looks over at Dulsissia, who gives him a sweet smile in return, and he ends up giving a heavy sigh. “Just… let me talk to your parents first.”

They all settle and stare as he lifts his hand to his ear-piece and starts connecting to the different Mandalorians via their HUD comm links. Davarax switches off his external mic, so they can’t hear what he’s saying, but first he points at Din and gives a thumbs up. Which has Corin make a happy squeak, move forward as if to hug the other boy, but then realizes it means letting go of Dulsissia’s arm and sits back again with an anxious look. She has to nudge him twice before her son will let go and slide down to join his grinning friend on the floor.

Next Davarax points at Raga and gives a thumbs up. She starts a happy sound but it dies mid-squeak as she sends Paz a quick look. She settles down with a frown, taking a hold of his arm.

Dulsissia observes the annoyed twitch in Davarax’ shoulders, but after what must have been an interesting discussion, he points at Paz and gives a thumbs up. The helmet hides Paz’ reaction, but Raga lets out the rest of her happy squeak and smacks him in the shoulder with both hands, to which he responds with a half-hearted shove in return and something that sounds a lot like a faint laugh.

Barthor continues to stare at the floor while the rest stare with anticipation at Davarax. The last conversation is without a doubt the longest, Davarax even crosses his arms and taps his helmet lightly back against the door frame a couple of times, but then comes the moment when he straightens and turns his mic back on. “Barthor?”

The boy sighs and slowly looks over at him.

Davarax gives him the thumbs up.

Barthor’s eyes widen in mute surprise, a disbelieving smile breaks free and then he’s flattened the other cheering children.

-

“I hope you have a plan.” Davarax had said, watching the wrestling match on the floor. Dulsissia had given him a grin, whistled for the children’s attention and then handed out assignments.

And that is how both mattresses from their beds, all the blankets and bed covers from her and Corin’s room are carried across to Davarax’ room and placed on the floor next to Davarax’ bed. The children are acting like they are indeed camping again, all smiles and eagerness, as they get to create a nest of their own.

Dulsissia sees Corin is torn between the urge to hang on her arm and join in with the others, so she nudges him again. As much as she wouldn’t mind him clinging after having felt the fear that she’d never see him again, Dulsissia cannot forget the memory of watching him playing and running around with his friends without that anxious look in his eyes. It hurts, but she encourages him to join the others.

“I’ll be right here, baby.” She reassures him.

Davarax helps the children adjust the mattresses a little and then deem the make-shift bedding worthy of his children. He walks over to where Dulsissia is standing. “The kids are set. You take the bed. I’ll, uh…” He looks around, as if scouting for a free spot on the floor.

“You and me are sharing the bed.” Dulsissia states. “The bed are for old people. Like us.”

“I said I was sorry!” Barthor groans. “Let it go.”

“Never.” Dulsissia snaps back. Then she realizes that Davarax is just staring at her. “What?”

Davarax just shakes his head and turns to look at the chattering children settling in their places.

“And would you mind taking off the armor?” Dulsissia asks. “You can, inside the Covert, right?”

Davarax gives a tiny nod.

It takes some time before the children calm down and settle for the night. Dulsissia does a final check on them, fluffing pillows and deliberately cooing all sorts of endearments suitable for far younger children. Raga lies closest to the door, curled up to Paz’ back and holding on like a little jetpack, while Paz has his arm around Din, who has Corin on the other side, and closest to the bed is Barthor.

“Okay, lights out.” Dulsissia declares after Davarax climbs into the bed and flops down on his back. “Sweet dreams, and if any of you need anything, just call out. Okay?”

There is a chorus of ‘okay’s.

After turning the lights off and cautiously making her way back to bed without stepping on anyone, Dulsissia climbs into it. As Davarax insists on being closest to the door, she has to also climb over him. Sighing satisfied, she curls up close to him, rests her head on his chest and abruptly notes how incredibly tense he is. And how he is very deliberately not touching her.

After a while, Dulsissia lets out a soft laugh. “You’re going to have to breathe eventually, you know.”

“No.” The answer is resolute.

Dulsissia giggles.

Corin’s head pops up from the pile. “Mom?” Several sleepy blinks. “What’s so funny?”

Dulsissia hoists herself up on her side to look at the children on the floor at the other side of Davarax, ‘innocently’ placing a hand on Davarax’ stomach, pretending to keep her balance that way while gently groping the fabric of the shirt. “Nothing, baby. Go back to sleep.”

Corin’s head flops down again, but at the same time, to her utter surprise, Dulsissia feels Davarax’ hand cup her behind and she has to suffocate a squeak. Corin’s head pops up again. “Mom?”

“It’s fine, Corin.” Dulsissia prods two fingers next to one of Davarax’ wounds and he jolts with a muffled grunt.

Corin’s head goes down again.

Davarax’ takes a firmer grip on her behind, hitching her abruptly closer, and she places a hand an unharmed area on his chest to push herself away, but then he uses his other hand to grab hers, pulling her even closer, so she squirms to free herself. They both struggle to muffle their laughter.

Paz’ helmet comes up and he lets out a very annoyed; “SHHH!”

Davarax and Dulsissia both withdraw their hands, fighting even harder to keep the laughter quiet.

“Sorry.” Dulsissia stutters through choked giggles.

“Yeah, sorry.” Davarax adds, struggling hard to silence his own laughter.

Grunting, still very much annoyed, Paz lies back down again.

As the laughter calms, Dulsissia searches and finds Davarax’ hand. She takes it, lifts it up to hold it between their chests, and smiles as their fingers begin their slow, pointless dance of just touching and braiding and feeling.

This. Dulsissia Motti realizes that she doesn’t need her fortune, her fancy clothes or the fancy food. She just needs this man and these children.

Fate brought them together and nothing can tear them apart.

-

Macero Valentis looks down at the pale face of his brother as he lies dead in the med bay.

“Sir?” One of the officers step into the room, through the door flanked by two Death Troopers. “Sir, it is confirmed. The Razor Crest is back on Nevarro.”

“Good. Increase our speed. Prepare the squads.” Macero says. “Fuel up the Flame Troopers, but make it clear I want my wife and son brought back alive.”

The officer nods and disappears out of the room.

Macero’s eyes narrow.

Nevarro is going to burn and every Mandalorian there with it.

-

“Listen, she has agreed to hear you out, but remember that you’re an, well, outsider.” Davarax says, before quickly adding; “To her.”

Dulsissia nods, arms tightly wrapped around herself, increasingly more nervous as they walk towards the Forge. “I understand.”

Davarax enters the room first, she follows, and they both kneel down and wait for the leader of the Mandalorians to approach them.

Feeling every second ticking away as a life lost, Dulsissia has to dig her nails into the palms of her hands to keep quiet. It was bad enough that they didn’t approach her yesterday, but now time might actually be running out.

Finally the one in a golden mask approaches them. “So he managed to bring you back.”

“Yes.” Dulsissia says, looking up at the leader. “But I fear trouble might follow me. There is a man in the Imperial Army. An officer. His brother was killed yesterday. He will want revenge for that.” She swallows hard. “And he’ll want me and my son.”

The Mandalorian leader stares at her for a couple of seconds then looks over at Davarax. “If he comes, we will fight. That is the Way.”

“No.” Dulsissia shakes her head. “No, you can’t fight him. Didn’t you hear me? He’s an officer in the Imperial Army. He will bring his forces here and he will destroy Nevarro. You have to run before he gets here.”

“I was hoping some time apart might clear your mind, but you are still blinded by her it seems.” The leader says, now clearly speaking to Davarax.

“I love her.” Davarax states it like a simple fact.

Dulsissia’s heart does a double-flip, not expecting him to confess that in front of his leader.

“That might be your downfall.” The one in gold armor warns him.

“You don’t like me.” Dulsissia says, her voice sharp with a touch of anger but mostly impatience. “There’s not much I can do about that. But you don’t have to like me to listen to what I’m telling you; you have to evacuate the Covert.”

The leader’s visor turns back to focus on Dulsissia. “We are Mandalorians. We fight. That is the Way.”

“But it won’t be a fight.” Dulsissia insists. “It will be a slaughter. And you have children here! Do you expect them to fight as well? Do you think this man will spare them? Because he won’t.”

Davarax reaches out and discretely touches Dulsissia’s arm in a signal for her to calm down.

“We have stayed in this Covert for many years and survived. Our kind has survived the Imperial Army before. That is the Way.” The leader replies, turning away.

“No.” Dulsissia gets up, shakes off Davarax’ hand and takes a step forward. “Listen to me! Please! This man will come here and he will kill everyone. You had the other Coverts established in case of an emergency. You knew something bad could happen some day. This is that day.”

Davarax is up on his feet too now and Dulsissia can feel his looming presence behind her back, ready to either stop her or defend her, she wonders if he knows which.

“This Covert took in me and my son when we had nowhere to go and we would have starved or worse if not for your help. I may not have sworn the Creed, but you have my loyalty. I would fight side by side with you against this man if I thought there was the slightest chance that he’d fight fair and we’d stand a chance against the number of weapons and soldiers he’s bringing. I would gladly die for these children.”

The armorer takes a step towards her, suddenly uncomfortably close, but Dulsissia makes herself stand her ground. She knows how much courage means to Mandalorians.

“You would die for them?”

“Yes.”

“Then you would stay while they go to the new Covert?”

“Then I am staying too.” Davarax states.

“No, you will not.” Dulsissia snaps, then focuses on the one in gold. “If that is what it takes for you to get the children to safety. All I ask is that you take my son with you. Let Davarax raise him as his own.” Maybe this is the punishment she deserves for not seeing through Macero’s act back then?

Besides, Macero won’t kill her. That would be way too easy. He will make her suffer instead, and that means there is hope for an escape.

Corin will never forgive her, but at least he will be alive and free to hate her and in safe hands.

-

Nevarro burns. 

Most of the buildings here are reduced to ruins after the ships had bombed the area into submission. Powerful bursts of flame now flows through the air as the Flame Troopers wander around in the streets and gleefully tries to set fire to everything. Storm troopers are flooding into the underground entrances that leads below to the sewers and Macero has been told is the Mandalorian hide-out.

Forty standard minutes later, Macero is told that the place is entirely abandoned. No signs of any Mandalorians, his wife or his son.

“It’s said that a Mando brought your wife and a bunch of children on board the Razor Crest.” A Death Trooper reports. “Based on the description, sounds like the same guy as before.”

Usually Macero knows to bottle up his rage and stay calm. He knows Dulsissia is probably poisoning his son’s mind against him, but that can be corrected once Macero gets the boy back. 

However, the thought of this filthy Mando, Vecon’s murderer, fathering the next Motti child instead of him… Macero lashes out and sends everything on his desk flying. All those year, all the planning, all the effort it took to get Dulsissia, ruined. “I WANT HIS HEAD ON MY WALL!”

“Sir?” The Death Trooper clears his throat. “Sir, if I may, I have an idea…”

Panting, Macero turns his glare over at the trooper. “What is your name, soldier?”

The Death Trooper removes his helmet and gives him a smug smile. “My name is Dominic, sir. And if you want someone to hunt down this Mando for you, I know just the guy. This one just loves chasing down dangerous prey.”

-

The new Covert is a lot smaller than the one on Nevarro, but situated in the same kind of dry, dusty environment, underground and next to a small town. And while the structure is ready, it takes no small amount of work to get the place habitable.

For the next three weeks, Dulsissia works herself half to death. She gets up early and is among the last to quit, but the guilt of knowing they had to relocate because of Macero is driving her. Especially when they get the message that Nevarro had been levelled to the ground and was now nothing but a smoking pile of ashes. 

Dulsissia expects the Mandalorians to turn on her, blame her for tearing them up from their home, but to her surprise; none of them seem fazed at all and don’t treat her any different than before; with mild indifference.

The leader of the Mandalorians sends Dulsissia a long, indecipherable look when they get the news about Nevarro’s fate, but doesn’t say anything.

Corin competes with Din for having the most nightmares during the first couple of weeks and sticks to her like glue despite her efforts to have him join the other children. He keeps expecting his father to appear at any second and jumps at any sudden sound.

Davarax works even harder than all of them and she barely sees a glimpse of him for what feels like ages. He’s either out gathering supplies or hunting down prey for the bounty so he can buy whatever the Covert needs to become fully functional. 

Dulsissia leaves small boxes in front of his door, with food and even some cookies she manages to barter into her possession. She finds beautiful flowers, including ones made out of folded paper when he’s clearly been where none are to be found, in front of her door and she misses him so much she could cry.

Especially as Davarax’ room is as far away from Dulsissia’s as possible and Dulsissia knows the leader has made it so. She may be allowed to stay with the Covert, but is clearly not worthy of him.

Dulsissia feels a bittersweet happiness when Davarax shows up at her door one evening and asks to borrow her for a little while. A quick glance over at where Corin and Raga are playing some game results in her son giving her a brave smile and telling them to go. Her sweet selfless boy.

“Where are we going?” Dulsissia asks as she follows Davarax.

“Nowhere special, I’m afraid.” Davarax says in a tired sigh. “I just got back and I haven’t… I just…” His fingers touch hers as they walk. “I just wanted to talk to you for a bit. Hear your voice.”

Dulsissia braids their fingers together and holds on to his hand. “I’d like that very much.” They’ve barely spent any time together since they left Nevarro.

She is a little surprised when he brings her out of the Covert, circles around the building hiding their secret entrance, and then they sit down on the sand behind it, their backs against the wall.

It’s a lovely view over the desert stretching out in front of them, stars are starting to appear in the sky and there is just the calm hum of the town nearby to disturb them.

“Tell me about the kids.” Davarax asks, carefully sliding his arm around her shoulders and leaning his helmet back against the wall. “Are they settling in?”

She tells him about Din wanting to start with blaster target practice, Raga making friends with her new braiding skills, Barthor working on making a com set for just them, Corin having fewer nightmares and Paz getting into a horrible brawl with a group of older teenagers. Dulsissia also tries to ask Davarax about his travels and how he is, but he keeps avoiding the questions and just wants to talk about her and the kids. She doesn’t push him. He sounds tired enough as is.

It’s when she’s complaining about Decco nearly breaking her arm during their last practice that Dulsissia picks up on Davarax’ deep, even breathing and how his helmet has tilted ever so slightly and barely touches her head.

He’s asleep. 

For Davarax to fall asleep out in the open, it really underlines how exhausted he must be and Dulsissia aches for him. So tired and yet he had sought her out instead of rest...

She watches their surroundings, just in case, and she lets him sleep.

The man is exhausted and someone needs to make sure he doesn’t wear himself out entirely. Davarax spends his every waking hour looking after everyone else, but who is looking after him?

Life as a Mandalorian is a dangerous one and she fears what could happen if he’s too worn down to protect himself when danger finds him.

-

Dulsissia watches, arms crossed and once again with conflicted feelings, when the day comes when Barthor comes preening into the training room with his green helmet on. And to think it’s only two months left before she’ll never be allowed to braid Raga’s hair again…

She’s still not used to seeing Paz wearing his.

Davarax had reassured her that it is allowed to remove the helmet in front of one’s family so at least she would be allowed to see Corin’s face again if he decides to take the Creed, but the fact that he’ll never sit with his friends and feel the sun on his face saddens her.

It also makes her a little hesitant at the thought of wearing one for the rest of her own life.

“Davarax.” A Mandalorian in green and grey armor stands in the doorway. “A word.”

Davarax gestures for Paz to start the warm-up before walking over to his fellow Mandalorian.

The conversation is quiet and even then, after a quick glance her way, Davarax gestures for them to use their HUD com links and cut their external mics. It sets off countless warning bells in Dulsissia’s mind.

When the other Mandalorian leaves, she stalks over. “What?”

Davarax sighs, activates his mic again. “We lost a Mandalorian. He was meant to bring back some supplies but never showed up. Dez found him yesterday. Dead.”

“Dead?” Dulsissia feels ice cold dread spread through her. “Macero?”

“We don’t know that.” Davarax reassures her. “The Galaxy isn’t exactly short of dangerous people, Dulcy. It’s not the first brother we’ve lost over the years. Even on Nevarro.”

“So why do you sound so uneasy?” Dulsissia snaps, hearing the tension in his voice.

“I just…” Davarax shrugs. “It’s stupid, but… A piece of his armor was missing. Why not take all of it? Why just one piece?”

“A trophy.” Dulsissia whispers. “My father and his friends used to do that when hunting creatures. They would take a fang, a horn, something, as a trophy. Bragging rights.”

“As I said, we don’t know. It might be a coincidence. It might be nothing.” Davarax places his hand on her shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “Try not to worry. It’s easy to say and difficult to do, I know. But there is no point in dreading something that might not come to happen.”

He’s right. She knows he is. But that still can’t stop her from worrying.

But then weeks go by and nothing more odd or bad happens. Things are starting to stabilize a little at the new Covert, it’s starting to feel a bit like the old one, and because Davarax is away on a mission Dulsissia even tries to smile in his place the day Raga puts on her helmet.

“It’s not fair.” Din mutters, arms crossed.

Standing next to him, Corin shrugs. “Well, I like looking at your face, so…”

In an instant, Din’s aforementioned face turns a deep red and he loses his battle against a tiny smile. “Y-you’re okay too. Your face. I mean, your face is okay too.”

Corin laughs. “Thanks.”

Din goes even a deeper shade of red.

Behind them, hearing the conversation, Dulsissia places a hand over her heart and nearly swoons over the adorableness of it all. She can’t wait to tell Davarax that her too perfect to be true son has his first crush, on Din! It’s too cute.

When she hears Davarax’ ship has landed, that he’s back, Dulsissia trots towards the entrance to greet him and inform him of this very interesting development.

She comes to an abrupt halt and all the giddy happiness in her chest evaporates when Davarax and two other Mandalorians enter while carrying something between them. A body wearing Mandalorian armor. They leave behind a trail of blood drops as they disappear into the darkness of the Covert.

-

After that, it takes no more than one week before the next one dies. Nine days until the next. Four days. Every time a piece of armor goes missing.

“Don’t go.” Dulsissia begs, reaching out and holding on to his arms so hard her fingers hurt from digging into him. “Don’t.”

Davarax sighs and shakes his head. “I have to.”

“No, you don’t.” She argues, desperate. “You don’t. You can stay here. Stay here with me. With the children. Stay.”

“Dulcy…” Davarax gently tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Don’t worry. It’s going to be fine. I’ll be back in a couple of days.”

Shaking her head stubbornly, Dulsissia wraps her arms around his waist and holds on tight. Maybe if she just refuses to let go she can keep him here by force.

Chuckling, Davarax wraps his own arms around her and rocks her gently. “Cyare, nothing bad is going to happen. I promise. I’ll come back to you. You think some mercenary can keep me away from you? Not a chance.”

Gritting her teeth and fighting against the tears, Dulsissia tightens her grip. “Don’t go.” He’d just come back from the last job yesterday and he’d kept nodding off all morning. “Please. Don’t.”

“I have to.” Davarax repeats, his hands move up to cup her face and forces her to look up at his t-visor. “When I get back, how about I teach you that dance you saw Roota do?”

“How about you stay and teach me now?” Dulsissia hiccups, losing the battle against the tears as she realizes there is no way she can persuade him to stay.

Mumbling something in Mando’a, Davarax leans down and places his forehead to hers.

Dulsissia covers her mouth with a shaky hand, sobbing quietly as she watches him walk away.

She’s wrong. Davarax comes back without a scratch. And he teaches her that funny looking dance.

It’s the mission after where things goes horribly, horribly wrong.

Dulsissia is walking towards her and Corin’s room with an armful of laundry when she notices helmet after helmet on several Mandalorians turning to look at her. 

Blinking nervously, figuring they’ve gotten some kind of message via their helmets, Dulsissia halts, holds her laundry close and half-expects them to tell her that Macero is outside the door or just draw their blasters to shoot her.

“Dulcy.” Decco’s voice says and the Mandalorian comes walking towards her. “Haven’t you heard?”

“Heard what?” Dulcy whispers, now even more scared. Corin, where is Corin? Has something happened to Corin? The other children? Is it Macero?

“They brought Davarax back.” Decco says. “He is below. I’m sorry.”

For a second, the words just rattle around Dulsissia’s head and don’t make any kind of sense to her. “N-no…” Dulsissia can’t breathe. She shakes her head, trying to evict the words before they can take root, make sense and reveal the horrible truth to her. “No.”

Davarax is not dead. He can’t be dead. It’s not possible. No. NO!

For the first time there is compassion in Decco’s voice as she speaks. “He fought valiantly.”

Violent shivers shudders through Dulsissia and she fails to notice how the laundry slips from her arms and just fall to the floor. “No…” She shakes her head again, tears welling up and escaping from her eyes. “Please, no…”

She can’t breathe. She can’t breathe!

Decco reaches out to touch her arm and the contact sends a jolt through Dulsissia, tossing her from horrified apathy to desperate denial.

“NO!” Dulssissia runs. She runs down the hallway, towards the door where she had seen them bring the other Mandalorians brought back, lifeless and missing a piece of armor. Every Mandalorian she meets, steps aside and lowers their visors.

Rushing down the stairs, she comes to the corridor below and Dulsissia comes to an abrupt halt when she sees the children there. They are huddled together, Paz doing his best to gather them in his embrace, and she can hear some of them crying from a distance.

The hysteria flares out and turns into an icy numbness. 

Dulsissia walks forward, unaware of her own tears and the shivering heaves of air her lungs fight for. She can’t even look at the children, who all turn to face her. All she can see is the is the trail of blood leading to an open door, where she can see someone lying on a make-shift bed. 

Due to the angle of the room, she can only see them from the waist down, but she knows who it is because of the helmet lying on the floor next to them.

Davarax’ helmet is stained with blood and lies in a pool of it.

For a second, Dulsissia has to stop. Her chest is compressing so hard that she truly can’t breathe, her heart cannot beat and everything hurts. She closes her eyes and her mouth opens in a silent scream of pure agony.

It’s the sound of footsteps that snaps her out of it. The children approaching her. And it’s too much. She can’t face them now. She can’t.

She has to see.

Forcing her feet to carry her forward, Dulsissia knows she’s on the verge of passing out as she steps into the room, but she enters anyway.

Dulsissia recognizes his boots, his pants, his torso that is once again bared and again covered with blood due to more wounds, injuries they had put bacta patches on, but these won’t heal to become scars. She slowly, almost reluctantly lifts her gaze further, sees the huge pressure bandage to his neck that is soaked through with blood.

And his face...

More hot tears spill from her eyes and Dulsissia tilts her head as she studies him. His hair is as dark as Corin’s, he has more than stubble at this point, a strong jawline and almost stern eyebrows that somehow only enhances the kind expression on his face. He is the kind of handsome that would have had all the girls on Seswenna swooning over him. He’s even more perfect than she’d dare to dream he would be.

Dulsissia can’t hold back an agonized sob.

And that is when he slowly opens his eyes, gorgeous dark eyes, to look at her.

-

Shock, disbelief, insane hope, everything slams into her at once. Dulsissia rushes over to his side, grabs his hand and holds it between both of hers. “Davarax?”

He blinks wearily. “Hey…”

His voice, unfiltered and drenched with pain, confirming that he is indeed alive.

Now the sobs are unbridled relief and joy, Dulsissia leans down to press kisses to his hand. “You’re alive. Thank the stars, you’re alive. I thought… They said… You’re alive.”

“I’m sorry…” Davarax whispers.

“Sorry?” Dulsissia’s head whips up to look at him, still crying with relief. “What are you sorry for?”

Davarax’ beautiful dark eyes avoid hers, even though he’s clearly too weakened to do much else. “My helmet. They had to take it off.” He swallows and cringes with pain, probably due to the wound on his neck. “To stop the bleeding. I can’t put it back on. It’s not allowed.”

Shaking her head, even more confused, Dulsissia kisses his hand again. “Then don’t wear it. I don’t care.”

“You don’t understand.” Davarax breaks into a couple of coughs and has to grit his teeth against the pain. Sweat is glistering on his skin. He makes himself look at her again. “I’ve broken my Creed. I… I have to leave the Covert. I have to leave you.”

Dulsissia blinks and then she sits up straight. “No. If you’re not allowed to stay, then we will leave.”

Davarax tries to sit up as well but can barely get his head up an inch from the pillow before he falls back with a gasp of pain and has to breathe for several seconds. “Dulcy… You don’t understand.”

“Then explain it to me.”

“You were right. The killings.” Davarax swallows, a drop of sweat trailing from his temple. “It was Macero. He hired some… nightmare of a creature. To go after Mandalorians.” He swallows again. “He said he was going to bring… my head back to Macero Valentis. For his wall.”

Dulsissia feels a wave of nausea roll through her. Her fault. This is her fault. She can tell by the severity of the cut to his neck how close this ‘nightmare-thing’ had come to succeeding.

“Without the Covert…” Davarax sounds utterly resigned amidst his pain. “I can’t protect you, Dulcy. I can’t keep… you and Corin safe. From him. Not on my own. You have to stay here.”

Shaking her head, Dulsissia reaches out and ever so gently cups the side of his face, feeling the warm skin and slight roughness of his heavy stubble verging on beard. “I don’t want you to protect me, Davarax. I want us to protect each other. I’m learning to fight and with you I can only get better. And Mandalor help whomever tries to put their hands on my son.”

Davarax almost smiles, but the sadness from his eyes is not banished. And, oh, he looks so tired. “Except for the Razor Crest and my armor, I have nothing, Dulcy. I can offer you nothing.”

Dulsissia reaches out her other hand, holds his face carefully between her hands, and holds his gaze as well. “Marry me.”

“What?”

“Will you marry me?” Dulsissia repeats.

“I…” Davarax looks utterly confused and he even manages to lift a hand to touch her arm. His touch is very cold. “Dulcy, did you hear what I said?”

“Yeah.” She says. “Did you hear me?”

“But…” Davarax frowns, the confusion drowning out the pain for a moment.

“I love you.” Dulsissia says, running a thumb along his cheekbone. “I’m not losing you again. Wherever you go, I go. So, will you marry me?”

Davarax swallows. “Yes.”

Dulsissia feels sweet, giddy joy flood her veins. She caresses his face for a little while, fascinated by how incredibly lovely he looks, it’s not fair he gets to have such a handsome face when he’s also the kindest man she’s ever met. “One more question.” She moves one hand down to trail two fingers over his lips. “Can I kiss you?”

Something flashes in Davarax’ eyes and he looks strangely nervous when he nods.

“You sure?” Dulsissia asks, a little wary after his odd reaction.

But there is no hesitation in his second nod so she leans down and, mindful of his wounds and weakened state, she gently brushes her lips to his.

It’s just as sweet as she suspected it would be.

But when Dulsissia pulls back, she sees the utterly dazed look in Davarax’ eyes and that combined with the slightly passive response she’d gotten fuels a suspicion in her head. “Was that… your first kiss?” Surely not.

The only thing preventing Davarax from blushing right now is the lack of blood in his body. He finally gives the tiniest of nods.

That stuns Dulsissia for a second and that is when she hears her beloved son’s voice whisper;

“I told you she would find a way. I told you we weren’t going to lose him. I told you!”

Sitting up straight, Dulsissia looks over at the doorway. “If we’re going to live on the Razor Crest for the foreseeable future, we are going to have a talk about privacy, baby. Get your butt in here.”

Corin shuffles in, flushing deep red. “Sorry, mom.”

Din follows him and stares angrily at Dulsissia. “You are leaving too? You and Corin?”

Dulsissia nods. “Yes. We are going with Davarax.” She hears Davarax drawing a pained breath, either to apologize or try to explain or something, so she squeezes his hand gently and shakes her head at him. “You. Rest.”

“What about me?” Din asks, the anger giving way to despair. “I don’t want to stay here. Please. Don’t leave me. If you do, I’ll run away! They will never find me. I’ll die before I go back.”

Dulsissia hesitates. “Baby, I…”

“I want to come too.” Paz steps into the room, followed by Raga and Barthor. He reaches up and takes a hold of his helmet, but Barthor grabs his arm.

“Paz! Take it off and you can’t put it back on. Remember?”

“I know.” Paz replies, shaking off the arm and calmly removing his helmet. The two years have chipped away at the roundness of his face and Dulsissia can see he’s at the very start of growing into the man he’ll one day become. “I’m going with you.”

Raga silently removes hers as well. “My parents have my brothers. I’m just trouble to them.”

Lost for words, Dulsissia merely stares at them.

-

Before any more words can be exchanged someone steps into the room. The children quickly step back to give room for the Armorer to enter.

Dulsissia tenses up and holds on tight to Davarax’ hand. What does the leader want?

“Get out.” The one in gold armor orders.

The children rush out of the room, but Dulsissia hesitates. She looks over at Davarax.

“Go...” He says. “It’s fine.”

Dulsissia gets up but pauses next to the Armorer. “I’ll be waiting right outside. Okay?”

“Okay.” Davarax replies.

Dulsissia reluctantly steps out of the room, but does what she said; waits right outside the door that closes behind her. The children all stare curiously at her, but she shakes her head at them, not ready to answer questions yet. She has too many of her own.

And most of them are then answered by accident.

She doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but the room isn’t exactly sound-proof and the door is flimsy.

“I told you.” The leader’s voice says, but sounding… different. “I warned you she would become your downfall. Now look at you, vod.”

“And I told you, I love her.”

“She made you weak.”

“No.” Davarax coughs and grunts with pain. “No, not weak. Without her… I don’t think I could have defeated him, vod. Without her, I think I would have ended up dead. She… She makes me… want to live.”

“Everyone knows they took off your helmet.”

“I’m aware.” Davarax mumbles. “We both knew this was a possibility with that rule. It’s okay.”

“Where are you going to go, vod?”

“I don’t know.” A short silence. He’s struggling to speak, so very exhausted. “I’m going to miss you, vod. Mom would have been proud of you.”

“Promise me you will kill that Valentis vermin.”

“One day.”

“Ret'urcye mhi, vod.” The leader’s voice is back to normal again. And the door opens before she steps out into the hallway. There the golden helmet turns its visor to focus on Dulsissia. “He says he is alive because of you. Make it your Way to keep him alive.”

Dulsissia nods.

The leader then looks over at the children, pauses on Paz. “Your father will not be pleased.”

Paz gives her a weak smile. “When is he ever?”

“That is his Way.” The visor turns back to Dulsissia. “Take supplies from the food storage. Bring Davarax’ weapons. Load up the Razor Crest. I suggest you move fast, as once Dez Vizla learns of this he will indeed not be pleased. And he will blame you. Davarax is in no shape to protect you.”

“Thank you.” Dulsissia means it. “For everything. And I’m sorry.”

“It is what it is.” The leader replies. “May you find your Way.”

Dulsissia watches the Mandalorian walk away, takes a deep breath and turns back to the children looking at her. While Dulsissia has no trouble bringing Paz along, his father will be livid over him removing the helmet and isn’t fit to raise him anyway, but the rest… “Raga, are you sure-”

“I’m coming.” The girl states, uncharacteristically calm. “I know what you’re going to say, Dulcy. I love my mom and dad, I do, but… I like being with you guys. Back home it is always screaming and punching and stupidheads. One time I fell asleep in Din’s hiding place and when I ran home the next morning, they hadn’t even noticed I was gone. I’m old enough to put on the helmet, I can decide to leave.”

“You have to tell them.” Dulsissia says, and Raga nods.

Corin stares wide-eyed up at his mother, a look of awe he’s only given to Davarax in the past.

Dulsissia looks over at Barthor, hovering in the background and the only one still wearing his helmet. He jolts and shakes his head, so she gives him a soft smile. “It’s okay, baby. Don’t worry. Nobody is angry with you if you want to stay. That’s perfectly okay.”

Paz and Raga glance back at him and pull him forward to hug him between them, mumbling reassurances that they are not angry with him.

“Din…” Dulsissia says and he is quick to interrupt her.

“I will run away. I will! I swear it!” He steps forward, breathing hard. “Don’t leave me here.”

“We’re not going to leave you.” Dulsissia promises. “But we are going to have to record a message for your parents.”

“They are not my parents.” Din mutters with distaste.

“According to the Covert they are.” Dulsissia points out and closes her eyes for a moment. “Okay. Listen up, here’s what we are going to do…”

-

Dulsissia and Paz have Davarax between them helping him walk the final steps before they can ease him into the seat. Getting him up to the cockpit of the Razor Crest had been both terrifying and exhausting, but they have managed, somehow, the three of them.

Davarax is soaked with sweat, beyond pale and in so much pain he can barely talk.

Corin and Raga are below in the cargo hold, fastening the crates of supplies they’d brought, while Din is in the pilot seat and already flipping switches and pressing buttons.

Paz gives Davarax a pat on the shoulder and then disappears to help Corin and Raga. Dulsissia checks on the wounds, sees a couple have started to bleed again, but it’s the one on the neck that worries her. The scanner she had ‘borrowed’ from the Covert had given her an idea of the damage done to him and she knows it won’t take much before that compromised artery will tear open. It’s a miracle he’s alive.

“We’re ready.” Din declares as the Razor Crest’s engines comes alive.

Dulsissia buckles Davarax in, gives his sweaty temple a quick kiss that he’s barely conscious to acknowledge and then trots over to stick her head down into the cargo hold. “You guys ready?”

Corin and Raga run over to the fold-down seats and starts buckling themselves in. Paz does a final check on the cargo being properly secured before he gives her the thumbs up and moves over to make sure Corin and Raga are securely buckled in.

Dulsissia gets up and finds her own seat, buckling in. “Okay, Din. Let’s go.”

The Razor Crest shudders and shakes a bit, Din clenches his jaw and tightens his grip on the controller and then eases the ship up into the air. “Okay… Here we go.”

Everything jolts a bit as they shoot forward and then race towards the blackness of space.

Once they are gliding smoothly among the stars, Dulsissia dares to unbuckle herself and walks over to check on Davarax. His head is hanging low and he seems to be out of it, but the scanner shows his vitals are strong if a little jumpy. Good.

“Mo-om?” Corin’s voice sounds from the cargo hold.

Ice cold dread strikes and Dulsissia runs over to the door and hurries below. “What is it, baby? What’s wrong? Who is hu..” Her voice dies out as she turns from the ladder and finds herself looking at Paz, Raga and Corin all standing around Barthor, who is sitting on the floor.

“Barthor?” He’s still wearing his helmet, the visor fixated on the floor, so Dulsissia crouches down in front of him. “Barthor, baby, what are you doing here?”

Barthor sighs and slowly lifts his visor to look at her. “My parents don’t care whether I’m there or not. The only friends I have are here.” He sounds horribly defeated. “What choice did I have?”

Dulsissia reaches out and stops him as he lifts his hands and takes a hold of his helmet. “Baby, no. Listen to me. You have a choice. If you want to, we turn around and bring you back home right away. If you want to stay, you stay and we send a message to your parents. And your helmet? You don’t have to take it off. You wear it as long as it feels right to you. Your choice, baby. Okay?”

Barthor nods, trying to hide a sniffle. He lowers his hands and leaves the helmet on. “But I already left them a message. So… I’d like to stay here, if that’s acceptable with you.”

Dulsissia has to smile and nods. “That is very acceptable.” She leans forward and taps her forehead to Barthor’s helmet, to which he ducks his head down with an embarrassed laugh.

That was the beginning.

The beginning of their family.

The beginning of their journey.

And the beginning of the end of Macero Valentis.

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

the fall of the red king

again, not a request. just an idea that intrigued me

what if, instead of charging into the crastle and dying, Skizz had stayed outside and Ren had been the Dogwarts red to die instead?

no i’m not in denial about Skizz’s death idk why you’d think that

…

  “I’m going in!” Skizz roars, charging for the crastle door. 

  Ducking under a flaming arrow, Martyn pursues him and catches his wrist by the door. “No! They’ll slaughter you!”

  Skizz tries to pull his wrist free. “Let go of me, Martyn! My bloodlust is HUNGRY!” 

  “We can’t afford to lose you, Skizz!” Martyn says pleadingly. “You’ve already taken two lives today; that’s enough for now!”

  After a moment, Skizz growls and nods. “Fine. But I wanna shoot someone.”

  He and Martyn rush back out to join the others and both start firing arrows up at the crastle. 

  Within seconds, a flaming arrow hits Ren in the shoulder, causing him to yell out and stagger back a few steps. 

  “The golden apple, Ren!” Etho yells at him. “Eat it, quick!”

  After yanking out the arrow, Ren scoffs down the golden apple, which heals him a fair amount. But he’s still dangerously exposed. 

  “Look, Impulse is up there!” calls Martyn suddenly. “He’s with them!”

  Skizz stares up at the crastle in horror. Sure enough, he can see Impulse through one of the slit windows, firing arrows down on them alongside Tango, Grian, and Bdubs. 

  “Impulse, what are you doing?!” Skizz bellows.

  “I’ve chosen my side!” Impulse’s voice yells back over the noise of battle. “This is where my allegiance lies now! Sorry, Skizz!”

  Skizz’s eyes flash red, red hot fury surging through his whole body. “I’m gonna kill you!”

  “Don’t fight angry, Skizzle,” Ren snaps at him, momentarily distracting himself from the fight. “Don’t let-!”

  He breaks off with a yell of pain as a second arrow strikes him in the chest. 

  “REN!” Skizz screams in horror, watching Ren fall. 

  Martyn immediately dashes towards his king but now he’s distracted too and an arrow hits him in the side, sending him down. 

  As Skizz freezes in horror, Etho springs into action and dashes towards Martyn, using his shield to protect him from further arrows. “Skizzle, go to Ren!”

  Managing to shake himself out of his stupor, Skizz rushes to Ren’s side and hurriedly drags him behind one of the stone hiding spots Etho made on the battlefield. Ren’s skin was already grey but it seems even more so now, so pale that it’s almost snow white. His hands go to the arrow in Ren’s chest, ready to pull it out, but something stops him. 

  Ren’s eyes are closed, his chest still. But it’s not until his communicator buzzes violently that Skizz realises what’s happened. The shot went straight through Ren’s heart. On his lowered health, he never stood a chance. 

Renthedog was shot by Grian

  Skizz’s stomach drops. His king is dead. Forever. He’s never coming back. 

  And it’s all Skizz’s fault. 

  “We gotta get Martyn back to Dogwarts!” calls Etho suddenly. “Skizzle, leave Ren for now and help me with Martyn.”

  “I-I can’t just leave Ren’s body behind!” cries Skizz. 

  “We can come back for it, Skizzle. If we try to take it now, we’re gonna lose more lives!”

  Skizz knows that Etho is right. Reluctantly rising to his feet, he dashes over to Etho, who’s still angling his shield over Martyn. “Get Martyn back to Dogwarts,” he says urgently. “I’ll cover you.”

  “Okay.” Skizz nods shakily but determinedly. “Stay safe.”

  “You too.” 

  Skizz carefully lifts Martyn to his feet and slings Martyn’s arm over his shoulder, supporting him. Martyn’s face is pale and his breathing shallow. Skizz doesn’t know if he’s even registered Ren’s death. 

  “I got you, buddy,” he murmurs, starting the journey back to Dogwarts. “I got you.”

  Thankfully, Etho’s cover gets them out of range of the crastle, so they’re able to speed up and get back to Dogwarts within minutes. Skizz and Etho take Martyn down to the underground area and lie him down on his bed. 

  “What do we do now?” Skizz asks nervously. “Do we need to take the arrow out?”

  Etho nods. “Yes. Go get something to stop the bleeding or he’ll bleed out as soon as we take it out.”

  Together, Skizz and Etho manage to remove the arrow from Martyn’s side and immediately begin treating the wound, preventing any major blood loss. Apart from a sudden and terrifying scream when the arrow was wrenched out of his body, Martyn doesn’t react to anything they do. He remains semi-conscious and feverish throughout their treatment of him, constantly stirring as if about to wake up.

  This makes Skizz very nervous. “Is he gonna be okay?” he asks, as Etho is finishing winding the bandage around Martyn’s side. “I mean… he’s… he’s really out of it. Is this normally how people react when they get an arrow yanked out of them?”

  “Honestly, I don’t really know. But his wound seems to be healing already and his skin is less pale, so those are good signs. I think he just needs to rest and he should be fine.”

  “Good.” Skizz exhales in relief. “Good. Is it okay if I stay with him?”

  “Absolutely,” Etho replies. “I was gonna suggest that, actually. I’ll keep watch outside.” 

  “Okay. Good luck.”

  Etho nods back to him and, after briefly washing his hands, leaves the room. 

  Skizz pulls up a chair beside the bed and sits down in it. Martyn seems to be asleep now, to his relief. It was far more scary when he was semi-conscious and restlessly twitching. Now at least he’s getting some rest. 

  He wishes he could get some rest too. He’s exhausted, physically and mentally. But he can’t. All he can think about is Ren, and how he died right in front of him. How Ren’s body is still out there by the enemy base, all alone. The crastle people might have taken it and hung it up on the outside of the castle as a symbol of triumph or revenge. 

  Skizz knows he let Ren down badly. And that guilt will keep him up at night for a long time to come. 

  Finally, after what feels like days, Martyn stirs and lets out a soft groan. 

  Smiling with relief, Skizz watches his eyes slowly open and register him. “Hey,” he says gently. “How you feeling?” 

  Martyn gazes back at him with hollow eyes, and instead of answering Skizz’s question, after a pause, he asks one of his own. “Ren’s dead, isn’t he.”

  Except it’s not really a question. 

  Skizz’s soft smile falls and he gives a sombre nod. “I’m sorry. I-I was too slow.”

  Martyn leans back and squeezes his eyes shut for a few seconds, before letting out a quiet sigh. “It’s not your fault. We were always going to lose someone in that battle.”

  “It should have been me, though. I should have-.”

  “No.” Martyn sits up again, wincing quietly as he does, and shakes his head firmly. “Don’t do that to yourself, Skizz. Ren made his choice to fight alongside us right in the line of fire, despite knowing there was a chance he would die, because he valued our lives just as much as he valued his own. He wouldn’t want you to wish you’d died instead.”

  Skizz hangs his head and says nothing.

  After a moment, Martyn reaches out and pats his shoulder. “Has he been buried yet?”

  “No, I… I had to leave his body behind to get you outta there alive,” Skizz replies quietly. 

  “Then as soon as I’ve recovered, we’ll go get it together,” Martyn says. “We’ll give him a proper funeral and say our goodbyes, just the three of us. Okay?”

  Skizz nods slowly and grasps Martyn’s shoulder. “I can’t tell you how glad I am that you’re alive, buddy. When I saw that arrow hit you, I… I was so scared that I’d lost you too.” 

  “Hey, it’ll take more than just a little arrow to take me down.”

  “You literally lost your first life to an arrow.”

  “After it took THREE players to get me down to half a heart,” complains Martyn mildly. “I was about twenty blocks from Dogwarts when I died. If it wasn’t nighttime, I would’ve made it.”

  Skizz grins weakly. “Uh huh, sure.”

  The two chuckle but quickly fall silent at the same time, their thoughts travelling back to their fallen friend. 

  “What do we do now?” Skizz asks quietly. “We don’t have a leader.”

  “We’ll be our own leader,” says Martyn. “You, me, and Etho will make one hell of a team. We’ll avenge our king, no matter what it takes. But until then, we carry on as normal, make them think they’ve defeated us.”

  Skizz nods firmly. “Alright, yes. Anyway, I should let you get some rest. I’ll be right outside if you need me, okay?”

  “Okay. Thanks, Skizz.”

  Skizz gets up and heads to the door but pauses and glances back at his friend. “I just want you to know that the loyalty I have for you is just as strong as the loyalty I had for Ren. I’m with you ‘til the end, okay? No matter what.”

  Martyn gives him a grateful smile. “Thank you. I’m with you too.” 

  After a moment, Skizz leaves and shuts the door behind him. He sits down on the other side, leaning against it, and buries his face in his hands and cries. His grief for Ren is finally pouring out. 

  Unbeknownst to him, Martyn has lain back down in his bed and closed his eyes, crying quietly for his fallen king. He can see that Skizz is suffering just as much as he is but he knows that they’ll get through this. 

  Their grief may be strong but their loyalty is stronger. 

[charlotte-headcanons]

Flower name prompts for Charlotte Katakuri and Cracker

Chrysanthemum, Hibiscus, Marigold, Ivy, Violet and Zinnia.

Of course! Thanks for requesting! So excited to get to those flower headcanon asks 💕 enjoy!

CW: violence, death, angst

Chrysanthemum: How does your muse express romantic love? How do they feel about love as a concept?

Since we headcanon Katakuri as aroace, we'll talk about platonic love here, if that's alright! To him, love is all about feeling safe and comfortable. The best indication of his love is when he becomes trusting enough with someone to lean onto them slightly, close his eyes, and rest, spending time with them in comfortable silence. To those he likes, Katakuri will also often bring random trinkets: little gifts, things that he liked or that made him think of the other person. A pearl taken from a defeated pirate crew, a seashell, a picture he found pretty - he'll always give these kinds of things to the people important in his life, hoping that they will like them too.

Cracker is a complicated case. Although he kind of wants romantic love, he doesn't have yet much experience with it, and therefore (although he wouldn't admit it) he's constantly scared of fucking up. While overconfident and loud usually, around someone he likes he changes into a timid, awkward mess. A not obvious but crucial way in which he expresses affection is simply listening to the other person attentively. He's a gloat and yell kind of guy normally, who rarely listens, so once he actually pays attention to the other person...you know he's in pretty damn deep.

Hibiscus: How does your muse view the gentler, daintier things in life? As things worth preserving & caring for, or as things only bound to wither and disappear?

Katakuri likes and protects anything soft and gentle. He will take a step to the side if it means avoiding trampling over a flower, he will pick up a slug from the road to bring it to a safer location. He's a gentle giant, wholesome on the inside, although he has to always make sure he isn't seen doing those things, as it wouldn't work together with his threatening public image he adopts to keep his family safe.

Cracker is like a polar opposite of that. He's a menace wherever he appears, and as we saw in canon, he's absolutely not against destroying an entire forest (with his pure vibes I guess?? The fuck was that technique) just because he can. He'll sometimes pick on those weaker than him, and generally believes that if something's easy to break... Tough luck, natural selection, bitch. The gentler things and people in life need to get the fuck out of his way. Otherwise, they get squashed.

Ivy: What are your muse's views on marriage? Do they believe it is something strictly for love, or an institution rooted in business & social benefits? Do they desire or have they desired to be married?

Answered in detail here! Of course, both are pretty disillusioned in marriage and know well that it doesn't always happen out of love. Katakuri finds it to be a good thing for others but not really something for himself, Cracker on the other hand, would like to get married but only if it's his own choice.

Marigold: Is your muse prone to jealousy? How might they handle envious feelings?

Katakuri is not jealous often, but he does experience envious feelings sometimes. All the time he's lowkey jealous of those who get to live normally, for starters. Rarely, but sometimes he gets jealous over his favorite siblings too: since he doesn't have much free time, whenever he has time to spend with them but they choose to spend time with someone else, he feels something like a sting. He's a quiet-jealous type. Outwardly, he won't say anything, even telling them that it's okay to reschedule. However, he'll (mostly unconsciously) punish himself and them for it by throwing himself into more work and having even less time for them.

Cracker's jealousy is frequent and explosive, especially if he has a crush on someone. His high levels of envy result from his insecurities in the romantic domain; as overconfident as he is, he knows he lacks experience, and hence finds anyone else with experience to be a dangerous rival. He's a territorial guy and will absolutely stare daggers at anyone he deems dangerous, and often no reasoning will work to convince him that he has nothing to worry about.

Violet: How does your muse respond to betrayal?

Betrayed Katakuri is a Katakuri that shuts off. If required by Mama to kill the traitor, he will do so, and then sulk for months. During this time, he'll slip way more into his perfect persona and avoid vulnerability even harder than he did until now. Keeping it all inside, he'll buzz with negative emotions, and snap easily - instantly apologizing to those he snaps at and feeling guilty about it, but not being able to help it. For a visual representation, this meme describes it about perfectly:

For Cracker, it all depends on how close to him the traitor was. If they weren't that close, he'll angrily beat them up to a bloody pulp until they stop breathing, rage for a while, and call it a day. But if he genuinely trusted them, god save Totto Land. He'll make all hell break loose, destroying everything around him out of anger, and might even cry a bit; something that doesn't normally happen to him often.

Zinnia: How has the loss of fallen comrades and/or loved ones affected your muse? Has it taught them anything or given them any new perspectives?

Katakuri can say he's lucky enough to not have lost anyone very close to him yet, being normally able to help it thanks to his precognition and hyperfocused on avoiding risks to his loved ones ever since Brulee got hurt. Of course, he saw plenty of crew members, homies, and Totto Land citizens die, but fortunately, it wasn't yet anyone he'd be really broken over losing. Seeing death all around has kind of numbed him to the idea of dying himself one day (he's completely at peace with that thought) but he's still as terrified of others dying as ever. It feels like his failure every time because if he can foresee something but cannot prevent it... Then it's really on him, right?

Besides that, he has learned to appreciate the lives of those weaker than himself through seeing them fight for survival and die. Seeing their ambitions, seeing some of them smile in their death and other call out the names of their families, it all made Katakuri realize that even the smallest of people have their own great struggles, hopes, dreams. This is something not many of his siblings pay attention to, but Katakuri greatly appreciates regular people and normal everyday life, trying to protect them as much as possible.

If he lost someone very important and close to him, though, Katakuri would basically react the same way he reacted to Brulee getting her scar, except 10 times more strongly. He'd take on even more responsibilities, get overprotective, and try to be in 10 places at once to not ever let something like this happen again. Besides that, he'd visit his loved one's grave way too often, spending every moment of his free time there and actually talking to it to ease the grief he'd feel.

Likewise, Cracker isn't really that close to so many people, so he also didn't yet lose anyone he'd strongly care for, but he saw plenty soldiers and civilians die; and actually caused some deaths, even within his own ranks. To him, seeing weaklings die is kind of a power trip. Death doesn't humble him, it actually feeds his ego: after all, if he's the one surviving, he must be amazing and special.

However, if someone close to him died, Cracker would be devastated. It wouldn't teach him anything good, instead, it would only make him seek out revenge and get obsessed with destruction due to just how pissed at the entire world he'd be. He would be sad, of course, but he wouldn't really know how to accept this emotion, so he'd react with pure, unbridled rage instead.

Thank you for the ask! 💕

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 2)

And we're back with more exciting and mean Natsume! Here we will further explore Natsume's life and how absolutely dark his existence is, as well as some very important aspects of his personality that will be useful to us when NatsuMikan starts picking up speed.

Again, I am warning people that this whole essay in general talks heavily about topics like bullying, child abuse, suicidal ideation, and depression, so if those are triggering topics, it might be better for you to not read.

Previously, we were introduced to Natsume and he has sent Mikan on a dangerous quest to the Northern Woods. During that trip, she and her friends have captured his one and only best friend, Ruka, which will not bode well.

Chapter Five

Chapter Five is instrumental for completing Natsume’s introduction, long as it’s been. Natsume is a mysterious character, and he will continue to be evasive and strange for many chapters to come, but by the end of this chapter, we will understand some basic foundation for his character.

The chapter starts with Ruka’s point of view, recalling a moment when he saw Natsume cry, presumably after a mission. Ruka wonders why it’s only Natsume that has to go through “this”, and Natsume tells him that he can take it--for now. He says he wants to grow up and be an adult, to be big and strong enough to properly escape this hell. This is a consistent wish of Natsume’s, and in many ways his only wish: to grow up already.

Higuchi really out here trying to convince us this was supposed to be a cheerful story.

Natsume had to be an adult, had to make the selfless and responsible choices for the sake of his family and for Ruka, had to abandon play and smiles and laughter for a life of secret missions and frequent hospital trips. He’s dying and he wants to be an adult already because he’s certain he’ll never be able to grow up. He wants his body to match the level of responsibility he’s had to take on, but he can’t force the outside to match the inside, especially when he’ll probably be dead long before it happens anyway. This wish evolves and changes when he falls for Mikan, but it doesn’t go away.

He associates adulthood with control, because his life at the academy has been observing the adults control and use him. He wants control for once, to be able to make a choice and even just say no.

Ruka notes that Natsume hasn’t cried at all since that night, and that he now keeps all his sorrow locked away. This kid needs therapy, immediately. This is another reason that Ruka is so precious to Natsume. Ruka is compassionate and kind, so concerned about his friend that he would also shut away his own heart so that he can’t be happy for as long as Natsume is in agony.

Natsume has a scene of his own, where he snaps at Permy for saying that Mikan is full of crap and lying about being an alice. He points out that the academy is not an easy place to lie your way into, and Permy immediately backtracks and lies that she’s agreed with him this whole time. Like I’d said earlier about the loneliness involved in being surrounded by fans who don’t really know or understand you, having people all around you bend over backwards for your approval makes it clear that they really have no interest in what you’re saying, just that you’re the one saying it.

In the anime essay, I’d pointed out that because of their admiration for him, it would elude people that Natsume is in fact lonely. He speaks out against things and people rush to agree, not really considering why he might say that. This is a similar moment, though he doesn’t seem too bothered by Permy’s behavior. It’s still concerning, but it’s interesting to compare this “yes, man” attitude to Ruka’s.

There is obviously a difference between someone agreeing with every word of your mouth no matter how much it changes and contradicts, bending over backwards for your approval, and someone wanting to match you out of compassion, but Ruka’s line of thinking does still have some major flaws.

Ruka is a child, just like the rest of them, so even though this behavior is motivated by love and compassion, it’s still immature and raises some questions.

“If you won’t smile, I won’t smile either,” is a sweet line, but now Natsume is aware that Ruka’s misery is his fault. If he wasn’t so sad, Ruka could be happy. This doesn’t make Natsume happy; it just makes them both sad, and that doesn’t solve any problems. Naturally, Natsume would never say that, and Ruka would claim he’s unbothered and--just like Natsume--that he doesn’t care about hanging out with the others, but they’re both miserable now, and I think this is part of the reason why there’s a gap between them at the start of the manga, and why they’re a bit distant, despite being best friends.

They’re each other’s most important person, but they don’t really communicate that well, and Ruka constantly feels like a burden.

Natsume needs something that Ruka can’t give him, and that something is what he’ll eventually get from Mikan.

That being said, at the moment, Natsume is getting nothing but irritation from Mikan. When he finds out Mikan and her gang kidnapped Ruka, that irritation turns into rage and we see a final fundamental building block for Natsume’s character: his berserk button.

Natsume doesn’t care about the reasoning or justification for the kidnapping. He doesn’t care about explanations or common sense.

His rage only increases when he discovers Ruka was tied up and even beaten (he is told this by a classmate, when Ruka is actually unharmed). The other kids in Class B--his admirers--are terrified to see how scary Natsume is when he’s furious.

Natsume's biggest weakness is Ruka so Mikan is kinda fucked.

He doesn’t care about the game anymore. He only cares about Ruka.

So he goes to the Northern Woods, where nobody is expecting him. He tells Mikan to leave the school, which… she cannot do, obviously. He is overtaken by rage and he ceases to be reasonable.

He uses his alice on everyone but Ruka, and is about to use it on Mikan, but her alice nullifies it. Then Narumi kisses him, prompting him to pass out.

Here, we are introduced to a consistent character trait of Natsume’s, one that may contradict all that talk about forced maturity and selflessness. In fact, Natsume’s habit to go absolutely postal on anyone who threatens a loved one is a contradictory one. Going into a rage requires the sacrifice of common sense and reason for the sake of complete emotional detonation, and as a result he fails to understand that his actions could inadvertently hurt his loved ones or innocent bystanders. No reassuring words are enough to calm him down, and sure enough Natsume will destroy something.

It’s important that we see this trait now, as part of Natsume’s informal introduction, as we will see plenty more instances of it later on. In a way, going berserk for someone can even be a love language of his, where if a person being threatened is enough to set him off, he probably cares about them.

And just as interesting as seeing what he does in these situations is posing the why! Why is it that Natsume goes ballistic in these situations, when it requires the loss of the one thing he wishes he had more of, control? My guess is that Natsume has had a rough childhood and much of that time was spent running away from a dangerous entity. Staying cool and calculated under some conditions would have its benefits, but so would the quick-action and confidence that Natsume would gain by going berserk. When you have to protect someone, and Natsume has been in that situation many times, then it’s sometimes even beneficial to be able to lose yourself for a moment or two. But perhaps it’s not that either. Natsume is, despite all his airs of coldness and mystery, actually a very emotional person, and in that way he is easy to understand. Even if this isn’t a habit he developed by watching his loved ones ripped away from him through either extortion, manipulation, or just plain murder, it’s still something he might be predisposed to: attacking with everything he has despite not having a clear plan or even any real thought.

Chapter Six

We pick up where we left off and Natsume wakes up grumpy after everyone seeing him under the effects of Narumi’s pheromone alice. He causes more destruction, still in somewhat of a rage, and even causes Narumi a head wound though his teacher seems unbothered by this (or maybe even used to it, who can say).

The next thing that happens is that an alarm rings, signaling that Natsume is due for severe punishment, and, as Naru points out, not something he can help with this time. Narumi warns him to get a move on before a mystery enemy (Persona) arrives, and that is enough to scare Natsume into getting out of there. But not before he issues a word of warning of his own to Mikan, that she will regret coming to Alice Academy of her own free will.

Isn't it interesting how her optimism, something he hated so much about her from the start, ends up being something he loves about her?

I have very many thoughts about this warning. It might even seem like a threat, as if Natsume will go out of his way to make sure she regrets her decision, but he does no such thing. He is convinced that Mikan doesn’t need help reaching that conclusion--she will realize it on her own because the school is simply that terrible.

It makes a little bit of sense to view Natsume’s hatred of Mikan this way: Mikan skipped right into his own personal hell with a smile on her face and a bubbly attitude. Meanwhile, he fought and kicked and screamed right until the very end when he was forced into attending the academy. And Mikan is not some normal girl who might be able to live a quiet and pleasant life in the academy. She’s already been marked, what with all the games about her enrollment, and that might anger Natsume even more: she’s really naive enough to walk into a place that’s not just hell to him, but inevitably to her too. Because of this, Natsume hates her and is predisposed to hate her more the more cheerful and optimistic she is.

And, unlike in the anime, this hatred takes much longer to go away.

Anyway, we see Natsume again later in class, when he shows up late after having just been terribly abused as punishment for his actions in the Northern Woods.

In the anime, Natsume catches Mikan insulting him while wearing the punishment mask, and although he’s covered in scratches and the kids are whispering about his bad mood, there’s not much else to it. He doesn’t seem any more unpleasant than he’s been this whole time.

There's nothing funny about this but I will put here as a warning that anybody who jokes that kids should be hit will be hit by me!

In the manga, Natsume is so weak that he can hardly stand. It’s not just scratches, but blood and gashes on his wrists and legs. The mask is not only used to mark him, it’s also used to punish, by physically abusing him when Persona has better things to do.

He makes his way to his seat, but Narumi is on the way, just enough to make a quippy comment.

(I wonder sometimes about Narumi establishing himself as untrustworthy to the children, particularly Natsume, and how exactly that’s supposed to be a help to the student body at large. I mean there’s the possibility that Mikan is special, and her being Yuka’s daughter helped Narumi remember what he became a teacher for. In that case, it might make sense that Narumi, being so jaded and bitter, might be content acting as a villain to the abused children of the academy, and especially to Natsume, but I can’t help but feel that’s not the case. I don’t want to think that Narumi was willingly complicit and even amused by Natsume’s abuse. It’s difficult to tell for sure, though, because Narumi is way more mysterious than Natsume tries to be.)

Sumire tries to kiss up, whining to Natsume about how everyone is suddenly acting so nice to the new girl, until Natsume forcefully kicks her desk to shut her up. He only holds back with Ruka, who he would never lash out at.

Narumi then announces that Mikan shall have a partner, and that her partner will be Natsume. It’s funny because although Hotaru made it clear she didn’t want the job, Iinchou was willing to volunteer, but Narumi ignores that because he always wanted Natsume to be her partner. At this news, everyone is shocked, wondering if Mikan is supposed to be special, seeing as she’s paired up with Natsume of all people.

Narumi smiles to himself despite the chaos and then lets himself leave the classroom, saying, “let’s see what happens.”

Why does he partner them up?

Mikan thinks Narumi is crazy for this, and from an outside perspective it certainly might seem that way.

Natsume’s theory, as becomes clear later during the exams, is that this was organized by the ESP and Persona, perhaps as a punishment, but definitely with ulterior motives. He is closer to nailing it, but a little off. There is no way in hell the ESP would want to partner the child of rabble-rousers with the school’s pet child soldier. That’s a recipe for disaster. Knowing that the ESP was excited to welcome Mikan because of her alice, and that her presence at the school might encourage Yuka to try and save her, he wouldn’t have wanted to disturb his own plans.

So what is the reason?

It’s all Narumi, of course. Perhaps the O.G. shipper, Narumi could tell right away that Mikan’s nullification would be useful, particularly in regards to Natsume. Pairing them up is just another means to an end, as Narumi actually wants the kids to raise some trouble.

Chapter Seven

Being partners with Natsume is quite unhelpful.

Mikan ends up a No-Star and her Special-Star partner is for the most part absent throughout her ordeals, having to cope with it all on her own.

Chapter Seven is mainly lacking Natsume. He functions to not function for most of it, that is to establish himself as being a terrible partner.

There is a moment that stands out, when Mikan is writing a letter to her grandpa, where Natsume appears. Yes, he appears in her head to taunt her about her regret coming to the school, and she spites him by committing to optimism and determination in the future. But he also has a short appearance paralleling a panel of Mikan: they are both in their beds, awake.

WHAT WAS THE REASON?????!??!?!?

This parallel is interesting, their panels right next to each other. She is thinking about her grandpa, and we have no way of knowing what Natsume is thinking about, but there has to be a reason for him to appear despite having been mostly absent so far in the chapter.

To me, it’s another narrative tool to pair them together. They have been so far, in more ways than one, and will continue to be as they fall in love, and this is just another example of how they’d been fated from the start. Even when they hate each other, and even when they aren’t thinking of each other, they’re still tied. Looking at those panels, and seeing Natsume despite his relative irrelevance to the plot, seems to be a message that there’s more to come between them. I don’t know if any of what I’m saying makes sense, or if it seems silly, but there’s very little analysis I can do without just talking about potential.

Later, with Mikan in a new mood, ready to make the most of her situation, the kids are talking about her resilience with both her no-star status and having Natsume as a partner.

Ruka does the talking for Natsume, warning Mikan that she’s being watched and remarking that nobody should have been assigned a no-star for simply disturbing class.

Once again, Mikan and Natsume are paired: they are both treated unfairly, with Mikan given a no-star status she doesn’t deserve, and Natsume given a special-star status despite the fact that he doesn’t even go to class most of the time. They’re the exceptions to the rule, and the reader is made to wonder what exactly it is that they have in common that would result in this treatment.

Ruka tells Mikan not to trust any teachers at the academy, not even Naru, and this is almost like hearing from Natsume himself. Unlike Mikan, who will happily make strong bonds with teachers like Narumi and Nodacchi, Natsume has absolutely no positive adult figures in his life. His father is far away, his mother is dead, and every teacher is someone he holds either directly or indirectly responsible for his suffering. The adults at the school have failed him and he has nobody to trust. Something Natsume needs is a positive role model, somebody he can look up to and have faith in, because as it stands he’s a traumatized boy who absorbs negativity and takes it out in bad ways. A trustworthy adult would very much help Natsume grow and learn better coping skills, and in the meantime it makes perfect sense that he would act out and even be a bully at times.

Chapter Eight

Natsume has a habit of ignoring any and all episodes where Mikan has confrontations with her teachers. He is either dozing off or listening to music with Ruka, and doesn’t seem particularly interested in even watching.

That being said, we see a new side to Natsume in this chapter, a new emotion in a way we haven’t before: fear.

Natsume ditches class with regularity. He does not care about being present. For most classes, he would simply walk out and go screw around somewhere else, but with the dangerous ability class, he doesn’t have that choice.

The other teachers may be complicit, but they won’t do the abuse themselves. Persona is not above that, as we have already noticed despite never even seeing him so far.

If Natsume does not want to attend the dangerous ability class, then he has to run for it, and in this chapter he does, like his life depends on it, because his safety sure does. He’s only ten years old and forced to do horrible missions for the school. This is one of the scenes that reminds me that he is just a child. He knows he could get punished for running, but he does it anyway. Maybe, if he runs fast enough, they won’t catch him. Maybe, if he doesn’t get caught, he doesn’t have to go on a mission. Maybe, just this once, they won’t mind if he doesn’t show. It’s such a childish and desperate thing to do, to avoid pain at the cost of more pain to come.

Natsume is scary when he's scared...

It’s funny that as he is running from pain, he runs into Mikan, who will later alleviate his pain. For now, he just shuts her up so that Persona can pass the area while looking for him. We see Persona for the first time, what Natsume is scared of more than anything, and although his fear seems obvious, Mikan is preoccupied by annoyance for being shut up like that.

They bicker--or she bickers at him, mostly--until the middle schoolers encounter them and start bullying them.

Natsume is ready to ignore them and walk away, until Sumire’s brother calls him a murderer, reminding us of the rumor Hotaru and Iinchou discussed. Natsume stops, and Sumire’s brother whines that he’s just a special star because he’s “Persona’s favorite”.

Sumire and her brother have, like, nothing in common other than curly hair, huh.

Being Persona’s favorite is no privilege, as we know now from the run-in we just had with him and Natsume’s fear. This sets Natsume off and he starts some fires. When they threaten to call Persona, who Natsume was just running from, he responds that they can call him all they want, but he’ll burn them before he can get there to capture him. We see once again, through Natsume standing up for himself, that his berserk button lacks reason (as he is willing to sacrifice punishment by Persona again).

In a last-ditch attempt to threaten him, the middle schoolers threaten Mikan, who they perceive to be Natsume’s new girlfriend. (Calling her his girlfriend is interesting because it is even more proof that they are being narratively paired together! It shouldn’t be a surprise at all that they eventually get together, when almost everybody around them pairs them up like this, even when they can’t stand each other.) They do not expect that Natsume actually hates her, and genuinely doesn’t care if she gets bullied or not. He smiles in twisted amusement at this turn of events and walks away for good this time, leaving Mikan to be bullied.

Aw, he's smiling! How sweet.... oh wait that's a skull.

Now, Natsume is a good person deep inside, somebody who is selfless and kind in secret ways. There is no secret kindness about this scene. He is not a nice person, for sure, and this scene is proof of it.

Natsume is used to sacrificing himself for the comfort and well-being of his loved ones, so there might be relief in not caring about the comfort or well-being of somebody, and being able to choose his own well-being before that of somebody else for once. It makes sense that he would be so amused, because this time nobody has anything to hold over his head.

Conclusion

We have seen some more of the abuse Natsume faces on a daily basis. He and Mikan have been partnered up and they are presented narratively as foils and as pairs even outside of that dynamic.

For the next part, we'll see even more examples of them being paired together, as well as how Natsume is isolated from his classmates.

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