#crying and begging at myself to stop
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what if added. another motif
#crying and begging at myself to stop#but like. its so good#may or may not be influenced by the new hozier album#BUT. IN ALL FAIRNESS. I HAD ENTERTAINED THE IDEA BEFORE IT REALIZED#and it works so well#the sky/space/life vs earth/soil/death contrast is too good to pass up#dani speaks
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i also like your krakoa charles and rivals erik drawing… a lot… keep going back and looking at it….. yearning…………….need it to be real………………you fed us well thank you ^_^
thank you so much my friend im glad people really enjoy it from what ive seen !!!!!! rivals cherik's just gonna be so special i know it..... i need them together NOW...
#snap chats#i didnt expect to like the sketch so much since it quite literally was a quick hasty sketch but alas...#theres a lesson in there somewhere.... i will now ignore it..#the second charles is added to rivals I WILL FEED ALL OF US WELL BELIEVE IT#please :((((( i want erik to stop yearning i want charles to be there to look at his beard and go 'ew' but still love him#pleaaasssee netease im wailing and sobbing at the idea of charles caressing erik's face and seeing how tired he is#eriks never rested a day in his life yet he somehow looks more worn from the erik charles knew... it causea that fuckin beard#RAAAAHHGGG IM DRIVING MYSELF INSANE#can you imagine if they dont even have any interactions oh my god no id be putting the fucking tinfoil hat back on so fast#theyre gonna have interactions... they cant Not MAGNETO LITERALLY MENTIONS THE FUCK AS ONE OF HIS OPENING LINES#'CHARLES dreamed of a safe haven for mutants... now /I/ have made it a reality' why the fuck do i have it memorized#god pleae just let them be together again netease im gonna spend the rest of this post shitting and crying and begging for it to happen
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its not enough to float in your orbit
#every fucking day i have to remind myself that we cannot go back to the fuck up that happened in jan#every fucking day i cry in my friend's arms begging to stop the pain
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im so stupid 😭 my cat has this lump and for some reason i was certain it was just like a large blackhead/dilated pore. but now im like,,, how did i think that???? its clearly something bad i think its cancer im having a panic attack i lost my dog 6 months ago i cant lose my cat now too 😭😭😭😭😭😭
#ive been begging my dad to book a vet appointment but hes useless#the reason i havent done it myself is because autism and sm but honestly im so close to doing it all myself even if that causes me to +#cry at the vet#.....#my dog passed at 14 which is pretty good for her breed#but my cat is only 11 i cant lose her this young#shes what stopped me from killing myself at 11yo i cant lose her#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Oh noo,, venting.
I wish my relationship would stop having to almost end just for one day of actually being thought about instead of neglected and forced to do everything for both of us on my own
#all of 2024 was the same cycle of me begging him to stop and him repeating it immediately. im so tired. im so tired#i keep telling myself that yknow. at least he isn't violent anymore. but. id take getting screamed at over getting ignored.#this is the one last chance to fix it before i walk away from everything. even though ive said that several times. i mean it#i mean it. i cant take this anymore#i haven't felt truly loved in so long. it feels like hes just attached to me instead of loving me.#ill never forget being told “i only yell at you because i feel comfortable with you” or being called th//nsp* when i asked for recovery help#ill never forget crying and begging him to Stop only for him to continue. and do it again the next day. and the next.#leaving me alone despite promises to stay. never considering me. never listening or trying anything at all#he fakeclaimed my autism once. that is something ill never forget.#i relapsed after four years because it made me feel tired and sleepy so that i could sleep when he breaks those promises to stay. i told him#and he only started caring about that when someone else brought it up to him.#im so fucking tired#i want to fix things but im the only one trying
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me if thinking abt the most kinky depraved filthy tickle scenarios was illegal

#like why can’t i stop thinking abt being tickled to hysterics and begging for mercy only to get ignored#even better have them mock you and coo at you while you’re hysterical with laughter and babbling nonsense 🤣#idk been getting off to the idea of being tickled till i pee myself recently. like mean absolutely sadistic ler…#…tickling u harder when u beg for a break bc u can’t take it or ur like omg im gonna pee and they just KEEP GOING. 😵💫#like that’s so HUMILIATING 😭😭😭😭.and then they add to it by mocking you/making fun of you for that. 😭😭😭#me when my thing for humiliation and tickling come together to form the most depraved filthy scenarios#i’m fucking insane .#i’m crazy#😞😞😞😭😭😭😭i wanna be tickled to fucking tears PLEASEEEEE i just wanna be crying and begging for mercy only to have them laugh in my face.#.like a fucking sadist and just keep going or maybe even tickle harder 😵💫😵💫😵💫 as they tease u with the cruelest shit ever .
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*Youth Pastor Voice* The children are so used to playing around in Minecraft, but you never hear about them calling for Mine Christ

#I don't even know what to do with this one it's just so#this is cathartic it feels fucked up while also being so so ridiculous#like holy shit Jesus in fuckin Minecraft#I would've begged my parents for this shit growing up but it came out after I starting distancing myself#I also had just stopped using the girls' bible I just talked about#and started using my phone#which was frowned upon but allowed#I'm crying rn#ex christian#religious trauma
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I have yet to keep inspecting the sweepstakes, I need some air and food first, but I might as well share what I've been thinking about Mike today, because I heard of an interpretation saying Mike was a camera man for Spamton which ... Is very interesting. Like for me this makes me think of Mike as someone who admired Spamton, someone way smaller than him, definitely younger imo, who simply excitedly followed along with the orders given. I mean, up to a certain point. I mean this feeling is reinforced in the q&a when asked about Mike, that makes Spamton get very defensive, almost protective. In my eyes it almost creates this almost platonic familiar bond dynamic whatever. But like this is just a shot in the dark, bc what we know is, 3 lines, period. But if when chapter 3, 4 and 5 come out and Mike is there and I'm right about these things then I'm gonna feel like a god tbh.
#luly talks#not gonna put this one on main tag bc its a bit too vague and speculative and shit but im leaving rbs on in case some1 is like hm ur into#something here nemo im which case i will wag my tail and bat my eyelashes#but am i making sense anyway?#like just to make sure: my idea of mike is a camera man younger and smaller than Spamton who admired the guy#and spamton out of idk fondness bc he reminded him of his old self kinda took the guy under his wing in a way#that's why he's so protective and shit#although unrelated to this bc just. putting that there and NOT touching it but it's interesting what Spammy says right after name dropping#mike if you believe in the cameraman interpretation (which i saw in a video i then stopped watching bc i wanted to explore that shit myself)#bc he right after says to not believe anything you see on tv but this could easily imply mike did do his part but the editing team changed#shit. but its just very curious what involvement Mike could've had because. why would he be as targeted as he appears to be?#and what caused him to also abandone spamton? is mike even fucking alive? judging by Spammy's q&a dialogue you'd assume he is#but i mean that's official but not canon right so it's a bit hard to judge?#but Mike seems to be the only one he isn't really resentful towards for leaving him almost implying it wasn't Mike's choice?#i just can't wait to see more of this bc it's gonna reveal a whole side to this little puppet previously unknown#in fact i think that after breathing some air im gonna go look at the snowgrave neo fight flavor text and cry and piss and etc#I'm still not over spamton begs the audience to stop taking the furniture i can see the poor guy being evicted as he tries to plead not to#so vividly wugh. my poor little guy of questionable morals . . . 😢#also don't get me started on the commemorative ring man what on earth is going on there.........
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standing in the kitchen doing daily training stuff with my dog thinking about how in iron age egypt someone probably specialized in training working dogs and we'll never know what they did or what their names were. but we know in places with large amounts of livestock bones theres also countless dog bones.
#tongue#i keep having these existential moments where i think about people#maybe its bc ive been reading and watching a lot of stuff about anthropology lately#but its so easy to look at paintings and releif carvings and just feel nothing#theyre so far removed from us#but rheyre still us#they loved and lost and were stupid and awful and loving and brilliant#and we loved dogs so much that we domesticated them likely before we were even homosapians#dogs look to our hands when we talk they bond with us like our own babies bond to us#theyre eager to learn and we knew that we could tell even when we dont speak the same language#dogs became more expressive because humans became like bonded to the canines that were#the ones that sat with their ears back and eyes trained on yours with a wagging tail got more people food#and now my dog is sitting here with his ears back all smooshed against my legs begging for my poptart#i love humans man im literally sitting here crying while typing LMAO#like i made a post forever ago on my old blog anout onfim and like#and you can tell neanderthal parents lifted their babies to the roofs of caves so they could paint something up there too#I GET LIKE THIS EVERY TIME I GET INTO ANTHROPOLOGY IM SORRY#PALEONTOLOGY ALWAYS LEADS ME BACK THERE BUT I LOVE DINODSURS MAN I CANT STOP MYSELF
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hope you guys understand the joy kingdom hearts brings me. This series has kept me alive I swear, would not be here still without it ❤️
#I remember those shitty nights in freshman year where I’d stay up and cry to the other promise#And I’d beg life to stop for a moment so I could be happy#Freshman year was rough. It was definitely my worst year. Friend drama online was the main issue#But school and home just weren’t kind to me#Kh was like. My anchor#Like I told myself that I wasn’t allowed to die until khml came out and that deadass helped
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sent my professor a lengthy email asking for an extension for my presentation so I'd have one week more to prepare and. he just answered "Sure. Best [first name]"
like
[Begin ID: A screenshot showing an email. The sender and recipient are blurred. The subject of the email is "reschedule [redacted] presentation?". The text says "Sure. Best [redacted first name]". End ID]
#im like begging on my knees crying and sobbing and having a breakdown abt not managing to stick to the deadline and asking for an extension#and he's like. idk. reading my email during his evening tea in the bathtub or whatever quickly checking his mailbox one last time before#clocking out for the day he sees my email chuckles and just types 'sure. best [first name]' deletes 'sent from my iphone' and hits send#then he puts his phone down on the rim of his bathtub and sips from his favourite tea#meanwhile i'm here like 😣😓😢😞😭🥲🫠😵😵💫 *screams*#i feel a little pathetic for overexplaining myself now but i feel when i'm asking him for a favour#it's only fair that i explain my motivations ig. maybe i was too polite like i was like#If you will allow me to give my presentation at a later date I will be very grateful. If not I completely understand.#and he's just like lol. i mean ig the stark difference between how i wrote my email and how he wrote his email makes me uncertain and unsur#but! why do i worry! ivegot my extension! it's fine! now i can actually focus on that presentation! it's fine! stop worrying and overthinki#g!#not fandom related#personal log stardate
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#how do i stop#wanting to cry and beg#to deprately promise i can do better and change myself to be wanted#to make myself into a thing that can be wanted instead of a person who isnt
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Due to a series of circumstances, I ended up going through my old Facebook and I really don't get how I managed to not change in ten years lmao. I made the exact type of posts I would make today. Really expected to go back and find myself cringy but nope. RIP to those of you that found your younger selves cringy but I'm built different. 😅
It's weird but I'm strangely glad that I haven't changed. I even remember ten years ago going through some of my old stuff and remarking the same thing. I've never deleted any of my old stuff to try to let it be a mark of progress and I'm glad. Yeah my writing and interpersonal skills have improved, but I've not fundamentally changed as a person. I might not have gotten everything right the first try, but I did my best with the information I had at hand. At the end of the day, I'm still recognizable as me.
#aquila be quiet no one cares#it's weird because I didn't need to go through one of those I'm not like other kids phases because I perpetually live through one#every time I open my mouth to express an opinion it usually garners some form of someone going wtf are you talking about#so naturally I've stopped trying to relate and just living my truth lmao#I've never really needed the validation of strangers for my self worth and it's so nice#like even one of my coworkers and I were discussing anger earlier and he was like yeah most people have this anger built up#and I'm just like ??? I've not been legitimately angry since I was really young and still talking to my parents I just cry#it reminds me of how I had one creative writing professor that was practically begging me to write nonfic about myself#I really prefer fiction because it's fun to create diverse stories of people whose lives are a lot more different from my own#but my life is equally as odd too so I get where she's coming from#not one singular detail about my life is ever normal for the majority of people and that's a valid story too#I don't think I'm capable of writing a boring character if I tried#I'll probably throw something entirely off the wall in there by accident thinking it was normal
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❀ In which injured!reader begs Nanami to fuck her
“No, sweetheart, please stop asking.”
Your husband may give in to you all the time because you’re his precious wife, who he loves to spoil, but apparently fucking whilst your ribs are bruised is where he draws the line. Damn him.
“But, Ken,” you draw out, “we can just go slow. I’ll even be on top, y’know, so I can set the pace or whatever.”
Scribbling something on a risk assessment form, he sits at his desk in his office where he thought he’d be safe from your desperate hands and equally desperate pleadings. How wrong he was. When you wrap your arms around him from behind his chair, breasts pressing in on his shoulders, he sighs and sets his pen down.
Gentle hands try to pry you off. “I know you, sweetheart. At first, it’ll be slow, and soon, you’ll be begging to go faster, harder, and then you’ll be crying because your ribs hurt. I really don’t want to have to make a visit to our doctor and explain what’s happened.”
Collapsing onto the floor, you rest your head on his knee, nuzzling in a last-ditch effort to get your way.
He pets your hair and coos, “I’m so deeply sorry, darling. You know if I could take your pain, I would. In a heartbeat.”
Irritated beyond reason, you grouch, “If you were the injured one, we still wouldn’t be able to fuck.”
“I’m not so certain that’s true, my love.” With expert touches, he’s manoeuvring you onto his lap, careful not to aggravate your wound. Face tucked into the crook of his neck, you play with a loose thread on his sweater just as he pats your thigh absentmindedly, picking up that pen again with his spare hand. “If it were only my pain on the line, I’d gladly sacrifice some discomfort for your pleasure. Would you want me to?”
“No,” you admit, thoroughly unhappy at how he’s backed you into a corner.
“How kind." Kento chuckles. "Now, stop pouting and keep your poor husband company. Once I’ve finished this set of papers, I’ll prepare dinner, is that alrig— Ah! Sweetheart!”
Your naughty hand is being snatched off his covered cock before you can lay a second squeeze. Having felt the embodiment of his love for you, you groan. “Kento, you’re harder than a rock. Stop being such a gentleman, and let me suck you off. I’ll play with your balls the way you like and everything!”
He throws his head back, pushing his glasses up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Then, with a barely restrained patience, he reasserts for the hundredth time since you’ve gotten hurt, “I’m fine, dear. You don’t need to exert any kind of effort to take care of me. I’m a grown man. Listen, I know this is hard for you, but please consider that this is hard for me, too. Yes, I miss your body; I miss being inside you, the comfort, the warmth, the connection. But I can wait. In fact, I’d much rather wait.”
Silenced by the sincerity in his voice, you can do nothing but pout and listen, all while he holds your hand against his chest.
“If I see my wife wince or tear up because I’ve pushed too hard and gone too fast, I’ll never forgive myself. It’ll haunt me, just like the sight of you all weak and shivering on the concrete haunts me now. Not a day will go by where I’ll ever feel at ease knowing I wasn’t there to protect you. So, no, sweetheart, I will not contribute to your pain, and that is final.”
He's not mad; he's not frustrated or irritated. No, not Kento. Not at his darling wife. Never at you. And that's what drives you even more insane. You so badly want to show your appreciation, to thank him for all his hard work, to ease the guilt in his heart, show him you're fine and soon so he can actually sleep at night instead of sitting up, awake, anticipating a grimace in your sleep so he can bring you water or painkillers.
Pecking his lips in surrender, you acquiesce. “Fine, but as soon as I’m cleared to go, you’re never leaving our room until I’m positively stuffed full of your cum, and you’re completely drained.”
Kento smiles, eyes crinkling in the corner.
“It wouldn't be the first time.”
#jjk fluff#nanami fluff#jjk x reader#jjk oneshot#jjk x you#jjk drabble#nanami x reader#Nanami Kento#nanami x you#nanami drabble#nanami oneshot#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen drabble#jujutsu kaisen fic
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#im on the actual verge of a breakdown im going to genuinely cry and throw up#three calls from my sibling and now my mom keeps calling me#this isn't normal people don't call each other this much#am I insane. I can't feel my fucking brain.#This is actually too much I am actually begging please leave me alone#Her fucking ass said 'stop thinking so much' im going to shoot myself in the mouth.
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