#crunchbuttsteak

[coruscantknave]

I was thinking about that BTB Cauldron post I made a while back and I just had a brainwave: a Behind the Bastards episode about Accord where Robert does his impeccable Boston accent for accord the entire time.

That's too perfect... Presumably this is after Accord eats it at the Behemoth fight (Robert has some sense of self-preservation), but the whole production is so atrocious that it drives a grieving Citrine to try to take him out with a convoluted death trap to restore Accord's honor

Her schemes keep almost working, only to coincidentally fail due to interference of capes from the Elite - who are also trying to kill Robert in retribution for his special deep dive series on their leadership; "Behind the Bastard Son."

Also a hitman from Blue Apron that one time.

[rocketonthemoon]

We can’t rewind we’ve gone too far

OH WAH-OH!!!

[aces-to-apples]

The only funnier idea for an inquisitor during WEWH would he Inquisitor!Loghain. Can you imagine how fucking miserable he would be?

The idea of loghain becoming Inquisitor is actually breaking my brain a little bit lol

[cpericardium]

@crunchbuttsteak's idea

[bug4932]

since i keep missing birthdays from that whoevers kins (or greatly enjoys) a character the hardest shares (or gets to pick) their birthday post i made a big list for reference. theres duplicates because the first rule of being born is to dance like no ones watching and never forget to be yourself 👍

if youd like me to add/edit/remove something just let me know! i still have a few in my queue from earlier this year but im not gonna stress about forgetting any or scheduling more unless i feel like it. i encourage you to queue one if youd like though!

birthdays below 🎉

January

12th, skitter-queen: Melancholy (Twig) vat release

23rd, heart-shaped-pupa: Noelle Meinhardt

27th, ganurath: Natalie Matteson

February

1st, thesternest: String Theory

3rd, 753398445a: Circus

9th, imnotverybright: Rachel Lindt

16, ameliadallon: Amelia Dallon

March (lisalindtstillons: Rachel)

14th, xamdsona: Number Man

April

1st, l-wilbourn: Lisa Wilbourn

10th, svetakarelia: Sveta Karelia

13th, hungrychoir: Aisha Laborn

16th, vikugnavikugna: Perdition

May

June

6th, smuglysasha: Rachel Lindt

11th, heyitschartic: Bonesaw

15, ewingstan: Krouse

21st, trantares: Victoria Dallon

July

7th, 42069gay: Alexandria

8th, cpericardium: Number Man

13th, rainfrazier: Rain Frazier (Ward)

26th, hopeinpithos: Dragon definitely born and not compiled

29th, that-one-empty-skull: Leet

August

1st, uninvited-eon: Newter

2nd, cleopatraphouse: Finale (Ward)

11th, stillons: Ashley Stillons (Ward) vat release

18th, henghost: Amy Dallon

25th, ragingcitrustree: Crystal Pelham

September

7th, tranz-regent: Alec Vasil

11th, beckyhotgirl: Cherie Vasil

28th, jewish-skitter: Lisa Wilbourn

October

2nd, crunchbuttsteak: Charlotte

21st, askmannequin: Mannequin

31st, parahumans-online: Ashley Stillons (Ward) claims it is this day

November

13th, zarohk: Theo Anders

December

[amphiaria]

10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags:

Tagged by @carrionbeast

1. Himemiya Anthy (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

2. Akemi Homura (Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica)

3. Tsukino Usagi (Sailor Moon)

4. Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII)

5. Amy Rose (Sonic the Hedgehog)

6. Suigintou (Rozen Maiden)

7. Makise Kurisu (steins;gate)

8. Beatrice (Umineko no Naku Koro ni)

9. Furude Rika (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni)

10. Terra Branford (Final Fantasy VI)

Tagging @nocakeno @rincewitch @abbulark

@crunchbuttsteak @utenaisms @sailoreuterpe

@missmassacre @adaloveslace @quasiimodo @chang-e-official

[my-dumb-obsessions]

Tagged by @cullenvhenan to make my OCs in this cute little picrew!

Cariane Amell on the left in "Commander Chic" featuring Ser Pounce!

Astrid Hawke on the right having a day out on Sundermount, proofreading Anders's manifesto.

Tagging @ephemeronidwrites, @sillyliterature, @sinquisition, @crunchbuttsteak, and anyone else who wants to play dress up with their little guys 😁.

[chuck-e-cheese-anime-faces]

g

@crunchbuttsteak

[sean-gaffney]

I posted 6,004 times in 2022

54 posts created (1%)

5,950 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lady-griffin

@crunchbuttsteak

@dduane

@tokiro07

@dayseternal-blog

I tagged 1,846 of my posts in 2022

#spy x family - 127 posts

#naruto - 115 posts

#star trek - 77 posts

#bleach - 70 posts

#orihime - 68 posts

#ichigo - 66 posts

#my hero academia - 66 posts

#ichihime - 64 posts

#ichigo x orihime - 64 posts

#baccano - 60 posts

Longest Tag: 66 characters

#the gap between strength and maiden heart is indeed very important

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Since the article doesn't give much context, this is a MASSIVE rating for its late-night time slot. Huge hit numbers.

7 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#4

A reminder that Higurashi Rei is now available on Steam!

Three new arcs!

Saikoroshi-hen, in which Rika, post-Matsuribayashi-hen, gets hit by a truck and wakes up in a Hinamizawa where - supposedly - everything is perfect. (Spoiler: no, it's not.) This is essential reading for VN fans.

Hirukowashi-hen, the VN adaptation of the Daybreak game, a must for fans of Rena.

Batsukoishi-hen... you can skip this, honestly. :p

11 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

#3

Birdie Wing Season 2, January 2023.

15 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#2

Even Pakkun is crying.

41 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Biggest manga news in a long time. This has been on everyone's license request list for decades.

501 notes - Posted February 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rainbowgod666]

I have an idea @crunchbuttsteak

Wait an momento

I got a tumblr, it really was quite great

I blog about a lot of things, but mostly what I ate.

I thought it was a sweet gig, it really was quite cushy.

Then they went and banned me, ‘cause all I ate was pussy.

[aces-to-apples]

Consider: Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts with Inquisitor Oghren Kondrat

ASDFGHJKLKJHGFDSASDFGHJKL!!!

[nevertheless-moving]

Imagine Luke and Leia ending up in the clone wars era but all of their force abilities are “what the actual fuck?” levels of bullshit, and neither of them ever realized that the things they could do with the force were considered extremely high level techniques.

that is one of my FAVORITE things to imagine yes. To me this is less about ‘Skywalker bullshit’ (though there is some of that) and more about the training they (didn’t) receive.

The high-Midi-chlorians-actual-descendents-of-the-force thing makes it easier to tap into the force, makes it more possible to do so without accidentally exhausting yourself. But, in universe, under the right circumstances and with the properly channeled belief anyone can do anything. That’s why Palpatine had to make the galaxy want an empire, why his first strategy was misdirection and his top priority was crushing hope. Chirrut was supposedly force-null and he walked through an army. Han navigated that astroid field because he had to. The force is everywhere. 

In an amusing but possibly unintended turn of events, 6-12 weeks of training in a swamp with an elderly frog who only talks in riddles without ever being exposed to Jedi culture except as a myth is actually IDEAL if you’re looking to maximize a Jedi’s raw strength. Most Jedi training that we see in the prequels is explicitly designed to put the breaks on a force-users raw power (for honestly very valid reasons). Channeling all violence through a single weapon that will start screaming if you get too violent, training to use it defensively, is definitely the soft-ball alternative to just squashing people like meatballs. 

Meditating, wearing beige, the code, shunning attachments, all that stuff is built around making sure force users never run above first or second gear even in stressful situations (again valid, when you run your jedi in the red sometimes they become murder monsters). The downside of this is that when they’re forced to maintain that placid pace for years at a time (i.e: prolonged war), they’re much more likely to burn out.

When Yoda told Luke do or do not, told him a luminous being was he, told him size matters not, the amazing thing isn’t that Luke believed him. That was karking objectively provable. Yoda lifted a spaceship, so now Luke knows he can too if he just thinks he can. So he does. Vader and Palpatine conquered a galaxy. Luke believes he can stop worlds, crush armies, conquer planets and so he can. 

The incredible thing about Luke is what he doesn’t do despite being tapped into the Force utterly free of mental restraint. Luke’s op character trait is his compassion, not his strength.

I assume at some point Luke puts Leia through a similar 2 month meditation class where he convinces her that her only limitations are the ones she imposes on herself. She has a complete meltdown when she realizes that she actually could have boiled Tarkin alive with her mind and saved Alderann. This causes a volcano to go off, devastating the ecology of a small moon. On the flight home, both of them slightly charred, she tells Luke that she wanted to focus on politics and didn’t really want to be a Jedi anyway. Luke nods quickly, supporting her decision, and resolves to seek out some Jedi texts about how to teach people they can do anything but also...maybe...not...anything.

And thus the Jedi order is reborn.

- - -

In the time travel version of this, it means that Luke is assuming that all of the Jedi are restraining themselves like he is. And they are, but they also aren’t, because their breaks are subconscious, built in since childhood, and have a lot of failsafes so even if they turn darkside they still restrain themselves pretty good (a la Dooku). 

Leia is, again, less interested with the Jedi-specific aspects of the war (especially now that she doesn’t have to feel guilty about being one of the only people who can pick up that mantle) and more interested in the diplomatic side. Again, Palpatine can only succeed if the galaxy at large accepts this, and from where she’s standing they’re fucking moving in that direction. If being a Jedi is tapping into the mystical energy field that binds all living things together to channel it through one specific person in one specific place, then politics is manipulating that same power for a diffuse impact on as many people as possible. 

This status-quo lasts until a major clone wars battle where Luke’s like ‘wait- the entire other side is sub-sentient droids? No living beings, and no droids with complex personality matrices? And they’re currently, actively killing living, sentient humans? Well kriff, come on! This is a no-brainer!’

Luke takes a deep breath. The air- it doesn’t disappear or anything- but it- it stops moving. It’s hard to explain...but breathing has an odd...resistance. The hair on the back of every clone’s neck stands up. Several get vaguely sea sick. One pukes a little. Plo Koon stumbles back, head ringing and afraid.

Luke Skywalker stands up and clenches his fists. 10,000 droids crumple like flimsi in the hands of a child. The battlefield is eerily quiet for a moment, then that imperceptible hum (which no one noticed until it stopped) fades and the air returns to its normal density. A few of the shinies start whooping, then the whole battalion is cheering.

Luke massages his temples, smiling wryly at Master Koon. “I guess I can see how that would get exhausting if you were doing it everyday.”

Plo Koon just stares.

[cpericardium]

it's @crunchbuttsteak

which one of you is this

[st-just]

If canon Worm was a dark and edgy reboot a’la New 52 or Marvel Ultimates, what would the “mainline” wormverse be like?

Hmm-

Okay, I don't actually read mainline cape comics, so this is from a butchered understanding of what they're like from childhood cartoons and hollywood and internet osmosis

But, like,

-The main protagonists are obviously the actual heroes. New Wave and Miss Militia and Armsmaster and Dauntless and the Wards as a group, probably. Maybe with Shadow Stalker as the requisite distrusted vigilante heroine.

-The sheer number of supervillains in the city comes down to needing to give everyone a nemises and a bit of a rogues gallery, ofc. This is never really examined, and despite the sheer number of disposable henchmen and high-tech mercs and neo-nazis per capita and everything the Bay's mostly portrayed as a pretty nice place, with most civilian life scenes being on the boardwalk or downtown, or in the very nice PRT bases

-Piggot's a stern but genuinely well-meaning authority figure who mostly exists for the protagonists to go behind the back of when they need to break the rules and save the day

-'The Empire' aren't explicitly nazis at all, just a general supervillain syndicate that happens to be led by a blonde german guy going by Kaiser with two valkyrie bodyguards

-The Undersiders (along with Uber and Leet, Chariot, the Travellers, possibly the Merchants) are the Wards designated foils, though they might all be independent villains or only sometimes working together. They are massively popular fan favorites, and never that evil, so they/Skitter in particular eventually get an incredibly successful series starring them and the whole Harley Quin vaguely-sauntering-towards-redemption treatment.

-Lisa's actually psychic.

-The ABB and Coil are basically the exact same, just with no thought of the actual money-generating crime they do or drugging 12 year olds or fate-worse-than-death-bomb-terrorism or anything. But, like, just the concepts but pg-13 are perfect 4-color villains anyway.

-The Slaughterhouse 9 (need a different name) and the Endbringers are actually the rogues gallery for the Triumvirate series, and only brush against Brockton Bay as a crossover event or a cameo-filled backdrop for a fight scene in their books, in either case no consequences from it that last past the end of the issue.

-Dragon's cover story of being an agoraphobe who interacts with the world through her mechs is just actually true.

-Cauldron isn't a thing, sometimes having superpowers just makes you a weird monster.

-Scion is an incredibly generic superman clone no one can think of anything interesting to do with so he just kind of shows up in big events, the whole 'spends 99% of his time flying in a random direction saving hikers from mudslides and getting cats out of trees' thing starts as a fan joke about why he hasn't solved the problem of the day on his own.

...yeah, that's all I've got at the moment.

[despite]

Cringe-acea

parahuman cringe compilation but its just a video of amy tripping over a wire with a laugh track playing

[crossdressingdeath]

Have you ever thought about how for non-andrastian wardens (Mahariel to an extent, but mainly Aeducan, & Brosca here), the Temple of Sacred Ashes would have been their primary source of information about Andraste? Especially since the history that the TOSA provides does NOT mesh with the official story that the Chantry preaches.

I mean, Andraste was also a historical figure, and it's not like the Chantry is unknown to the Dalish and Orzammar. I imagine they would've had at least a basic understanding of who she was; difficult to get far in a world so dominated by one religion as Thedas without learning a little bit, especially with every town having people whose entire job is to yell scripture at passers-by, so Mahariel would probably know at least some of it if they went into human settlements at all (or if anyone in the clan taught the children a bit so that they'd have a better idea of what humans were like). Aeducan would probably have been taught the basics as a royal (it would be difficult to do any negotiating with the Chantry without some knowledge of Andrastianism, and they were likely given history lessons as part of their education, so if Orzammar dwarfs are taught anything about the surface she'd likely be a known figure to them); Brosca is the only one I'd say might not know anything. Which is... honestly a hilarious mental image. The world has been saved by this dwarf thug who doesn't know who Andraste is. You're welcome, Andrastians. Although I'm not sure what you mean about the Temple not matching up with the Chantry story? The Chantry fixates on Andraste's war with Tevinter more than the Temple does, but all the facts seem to line up pretty well from what I remember.