#cruise ship comedian

[walkinsauce]

Sup? I keep forgetting all the fun I had here on Tumblr years ago. I'm out on Substack now. Anyone use it? Like it? Thoughts? Or anyone just feel like taking a little read thru my adventures as a cruise ship comedian...

xoxo Cruise-tina:)/The S.S. Walkinsauce

[thecomedybook]

Corporate Events, Colleges and Cruise Ships

Hey Dave – Is there a way to make a living as a comic without playing the comedy clubs? I know the only other major venues are colleges and cruise ships and corporate events. – KH Hey KH – You pretty much ran all the comedy bases in that one. From first to home with one swing: Comedy Clubs Colleges & Universities Cruise Ships Corporate Events I’m sure readers can suggest few more options…

[kalki-tarot]

About your future spouse 🪷 - pac

Current energy, Looks, personality, potential meeting scenario & their profession.

Pick a picture ✨️ | masterlist 🤍

The images I use to select a pile are from Pinterest, I hope the readings will resonate with you. I'm not responsible for any decisions you make in your life from my readings. I'm just a beginner and these readings are just for fun.

Pile 1

Current energy

Your future spouse is currently busy and juggling between things right now. They're not in a good state of mind, they're anxious. They're troubled about managing their finances right now. They might be dealing with some financial loss. They're pessimistic about the future. They're remembering the good old times where everything was alright. They did not wish for this to happen.

Looks

They look pretty young of their age. They can be tan or have reddish brown skin tone. Short hair, may have blonde or white highlights. Short height and chubby figure but not fat. Black or blonde hair. May like covering their head with a hat or cap or smth.

Personality

Water and Fire signs may be prominent for them. They're probably a leader. They like to do teamwork. They're very patient and they believe in hard work. They have a strong business mind and also good leadership qualities. They may like nature, money, power. But this person has a romantic side to them also. They're handsome/beautiful, they have that charm. They're a trustworthy partner and a good friend. This person knows how to be romantic, they're naturally good at this. They have this emotionally intense side to them. This person is completely opposite of what he shoes to others with their loved ones. They're quite creative. They want that happy ending love story. They have those idealistic thoughts about love. They love their family and loves being with them. They're very intuitive and sensitive but may now show their inner child to everybody.

Potential meeting scenario with them

You may meet them after a heartbreak in your life. You're exhausted and tired about everything before meeting them. They'll come into your life when you're in the hermit mode. When you'll be having some self realizations. There's still some time before you meet them. If you don't make necessary changes to your self destructive habits, your meeting with them might get delayed. So please don't belittle yourself, have some courage to move forward in life.

22 number may be significant, can also be a sign that you're gonna meet them soon. You can meet them through a collaboration or a deal. You can meet them at the sea, or a cruise/ship. You can meet them through work. And also you may have a competition with them.

Their profession

They may be unemployed right now, may be still studying. Possible careers can be of a comedian, instructor, financial advisor, entertainment, or even a child specialist or child care jobs.

Pile 2

Current energy

They're currently very balanced and satisfied with their lives. They are thinking to start a new business or a venture. This person is thinking about their finances. They think they can earn a little bit more through this new business idea. They can be a Libra ♎️ or libra is prominent here. This person wants justice in their financial aspect of life as they juggling between things and are tight on money right now. They're just thinking about how to make more money or how can they bring financial justice in their life.

Looks

This person looks very rough and manly, may have a resting b*tch face and looks intimidating. They are the knight in shining armor. They are very charming and romantic though. This person looks like they may get into fights often. Very competitive and fierce. This person has two sides, one is very rough and bold and other is very calm, emotional and romantic. They may wear wigs or can be a crossdresser. They have a long height and slender body. They have long legs. Fair to wheatish skin tone. Short and curly hair.

Personality

This person is very intelligent and quick minded. They love to study a lot of books and read. They are very successful in whatever they do. They are creative and open minded. They are strong minded and a visionary. They are into some sort of business. They can be hot tempered sometimes. But they are a stable and action oriented person. They like to lead. They cannot be easily fooled. They sometimes get very tired and exhausted of things and they need their alone and self introspective time often. They are sensitive sometimes. I see a need for them to heal their inner child. This person is naive and innocent despite having their trust broken many times.

Potential meeting scenario with them

When you let go of the wall you've put around yourself to not get hurt again, you'll be presented many options or romantic potentials in life from the universe. I'm seeing you meeting them in a wedding, party or some sort of ceremony with many people and family around.

This can be arranged marriage for some of you ; you may finally decide to get married and you'll get many options and they will be the one you choose.

Their profession

They can be a therapist or a psychologist. They can also be a psychic, they get visions. They can be a financial advisor or may work as an agent in loan giving companies. They can also be a tourist guide.

Pile 3

Current energy

88 or 888 can be significant. Their thoughts are verh quick paced right now. They are currently working hard in their career and getting stable in terms of finance. They're leveling up their skills. This person wants a love offer in their life. This is because they recently got betrayed by a female figure (can be their family or ex) whom they thought of very nicely. But they deceived them. They were hurt. But they're focusing on their career as a distraction and its working. They want someone to take care of them as they feel very unloved. They're manifesting new things in life.

Looks

33 or 333 may be significant. They look harsh and heart broken. They may have a large back. They have Black/Brown hair and tan body. Their facial expressions look calm and serene. They may like wearing accessories on their head. They have nice hands. They have a thin and long figure. They have a big back but rest of their body is thin. They can be Air signs as we have lots of swords here.

Personality

This person is known for their good looks and body. They work out a lot maybe. They're very focused and disciplined. They can be an air sign, they are self critical, independent and powerful. They can be calculating sometimes. They could be someone who is very thoughtful and not too emotional or too detached, wants nothing more than to make themselves better. They are very detached from reality and can be in their head a lot. They carry unrealistic expectations in life, and don't know how to deal with the painful consequences of their own shortcomings. They fall in love with love. The devil shows that this may end up being their own negative aspect of life. This can become an addiction. But they'll take charge kof everything. They are dominating and powerful.

Potential meeting scenario with them

The king and queen of cups tells me that you may be romantic soulmates. You'll meet them when you'll stop being defensive about your feelings and inner self. There is a need to reevaluate things for your own good. Where you're settled in right now, is your comfort zone. It's nor helping you at all, please be open and expressive of your emotions. Your future spouse will be very understanding of your feelings, so don't worry. You can meet them while traveling or near the sea/beach.

Their profession

Position of power and authority, can be a ceo or head. Can also be a doctor, nurse or healthcare worker.

[kodaloveschris]

VIP Magic at Disneyland

The morning sun cast a golden glow over the entrance of Disneyland as Nick, Matt, and Chris Sturniolo eagerly awaited the start of their VIP tour. They stood near the exclusive entrance, sipping on complimentary beverages and chatting excitedly about the day ahead.

"I can't believe we're here," Matt exclaimed, his eyes scanning the park with anticipation. "VIP treatment at Disneyland? This is a dream come true."

Chris nodded, adjusting his VIP badge with a grin. "Yeah, skipping the lines is going to be epic. Which ride do you guys want to hit first?

Nick chuckled, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Space Mountain, definitely. I heard it's even more intense when you zoom through without waiting."

Just then, Madison Beer and her brother Ryder joined them, both dressed casually but stylishly for their day of adventure. Madison flashed a bright smile at her friends. "Hey guys! Ready to explore Disneyland like VIPs?"

"You bet!" Nick replied with enthusiasm, his excitement matching Madison's. "Thanks for inviting us, Madison. This is going to be legendary."

Their VIP tour guide, a cheerful Disney cast member named Emily, greeted them warmly and led them through the park. As they passed under the iconic Disneyland Railroad bridge, Emily began sharing insider stories and trivia about the park.

"So, first stop is Space Mountain," Emily announced, leading them briskly through the crowds. "We have reserved seats waiting for us. No waiting in line for you today!"

As they entered Tomorrowland, the sight of Space Mountain towering above them sparked a fresh wave of excitement. They breezed through the entrance and boarded their rocket ships, ready for the exhilarating journey through the stars.

"That was insane!" Ryder exclaimed as they exited the ride, his hair slightly disheveled from the speed.

Madison laughed, capturing Ryder's reaction on her phone. "You look like you've seen a ghost, Ryder!"

Ryder grinned sheepishly, shaking his head. "It was wild, okay? I didn't expect it to be that fast!"

Next, they ventured into Adventureland, where they embarked on the Jungle Cruise. Emily narrated the humorous jungle adventure, pointing out the animatronic animals and entertaining them with jokes that had everyone laughing.

"I think Emily's got a future as a stand-up comedian," Chris remarked, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

Madison nodded in agreement, filming Emily's antics. "She's definitely making this tour unforgettable."

After a morning of thrilling rides and magical experiences, they stopped for a VIP lunch at a reserved table on Main Street. They feasted on Mickey-shaped sandwiches and indulgent desserts, reminiscing about their favorite moments of the day so far.

"I still can't believe we're here," Matt said between bites of a Mickey ice cream bar. "This is like a dream come true."

Nick nodded, his expression reflecting awe. "Yeah, it's amazing. Thanks again for setting this up, Madison."

Madison smiled warmly. "I'm just glad we could all do this together. It's been so much fun."

After lunch, they continued their VIP tour with visits to Fantasyland, where they rode classic attractions like the tea cups and Peter Pan's Flight. Each ride brought new excitement and laughter, solidifying the bonds of friendship among the group.

As the sun began to set, casting a warm glow over Sleeping Beauty Castle, they gathered for a private viewing of the fireworks show. They watched in awe as fireworks burst into the night sky, synchronized to classic Disney music that stirred emotions and filled them with a sense of wonder.

"This is magical," Madison whispered, her eyes fixed on the sparkling display.

Nick nodded, feeling a deep sense of gratitude. "Thank you so much, Madison. This VIP tour has been beyond anything I imagined."

Ryder grinned, his eyes reflecting the colorful lights. "I'm so glad we could all experience this together."

Chris clapped Madison on the shoulder. "You really know how to make a day unforgettable, Madison. This has been one for the books."

As they walked back to the VIP exit, tired but happy, they reflected on the day's adventures. The VIP tour had allowed them to experience Disneyland in a way they had never imagined, creating memories that would last a lifetime.

As they bid farewell to Emily and the park, they knew that their day of VIP magic at Disneyland had been more than just rides and attractions—it had been a celebration of friendship, laughter, and the joy of experiencing the magic of Disney together.

[keldjinfae]

I was tagged by the lovely @greyhavenisback, and I cannot for the life of me remember if I've already responded to this post or not, so...

In no particular order, my Top 10 Movies:

Inception - it has Marion Cotillard, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tom Hardy, and Ken Watanabe. That would be enough if it didn't also have one of the most goosebump-inducing soundtracks of all... Time. It also set sail one of my all-time favorite ships with the creation of Arthur and Eames.

The Dark Knight - while this list won't be entirely comprised of Nolan movies, I can't not put this one on this list, considering how many times I saw it in theaters. Both Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhart were mesmerizing as the Joker and Two-Face, and again, that soundtrack is fire (I'm sorry).

Saw (the entire series) - I went to see all of these so many damn times in theaters that it's a good thing I got to see them for free. Every weekend, provided something new hadn't been released, my friend and I went to see whichever Saw movie was still showing. And again, isn't it iconic?

Tombstone - yes, obviously there's Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday, but there's also Kurt Russell, Sam Elliott, Bill Paxton, Powers Boothe, Michael Biehn, Stephen Lang, Billy Zane, Thomas Hayden Church, and nobody's leaving it up to one man to carry the movie. It's also one that I used to watch with my father at least once a year, usually around the anniversary of his separation from my mother, and we'd pass a bottle of bourbon back and forth and rant about how insane it is that Kilmer wasn't even nominated for an Oscar.

John Wick (the entire series) - it's a thing of beauty to me that what should just be a bunch of "shoot 'em up" movies have such an insane amount of worldbuilding to them (and if anyone bothering to read this post knows anything about my writing, it's how much I build a world before I start writing the story in the first place). The action is gorgeous, the actors themselves are gorgeous, the development and usage of things as simple as slang is gorgeous, the soundtrack is gorgeous. You can also never go wrong with Ian McShane.

The Warriors - this was legit one of our family movie night features while my sister and I were growing up. Yes, there were animated movies and whatnot, but our parents were very lax about rating restrictions. We still regularly quote "CAN YOU DIG IT?!" and "Warriooooooooors! Come out to plaaaaaaaay!" Also, James Remar as Ajax was 🔥.

Interview with the Vampire - Tom Cruise may be an... interesting individual in real life, but the effort he put into portraying Lestat was sheer perfection. I used to watch this one all the time with my dad and my sister, and again, killer soundtrack.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World - a movie that decided to bring together every single comedian of the time that they possibly could, as well as come up with relevant things for them to do. Sounds impossible "on paper," and yet this movie exists. I've been watching it since I was a child and I still laugh through the whole thing. Buddy Hackett is also basically my father in this movie, which makes Mickey Rooney both myself and my sister. "NO ONE'S FLYING THE PLANE!"

21 Jump Street and 22 Jump Street - I laughed so hard watching the first one that my vision literally whited out at one point. Everyone is fantastic in both movies, but 21JS is also the first time I got to see Channing Tatum's understated sense of humor.

Kill Bill (both volumes) - I could have just filled up most of these slots with Tarantino movies, honestly, because I do love just about all of them (and my dad had a particular fondness for Django Unchained), but my sister and I rewatch I and II at least once a year. They make up one masterpiece, and I may be in the minority but I hope III is never actually a serious prospect.

No pressure whatsoever tags: @dear-massacre @nerdherderette @vmures @renmackree @ephemeronidwrites

[dwestfieldblog]

LUNATICS RUN THE ASYLUM

(I began this in late October before the election and don’t want to edit, just to insert what a great victory for Putin in the USA eh? The End starts here. Wilhelm Reich was right. Ever read The Psychology of Fascism? Do.)

See Trump ‘dancing’ on stage for thirty minutes like a tacky cruise ship comedian, hear him say the January 6th 2021 riots were ‘a day of beauty and love’? A deranged liar, a racist, sexual scumbag, mocker of afflictions, disparager of captured soldiers, fondler of his daughter, friend of Epstein…a deeply corrupted, petulantconvicted criminal who should be in prison, or at very least a mental hospital having straitjacketed remedial English lessons. Never let a man with a small dick (or one testicle) be the Fuhrer. And he wants Robert F Kennedy, a loony who was against covid vaccines etc, to be in charge of the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention etc. Selling bleach cures?

Doubling down on all his pet eating nonsense and boasting of using ‘the weave’ when he delivers speeches and interviews…rather than the insane ramblings of a bigoted idiot. The ‘weave’? As if he is a master story teller with arcs and plot lines only he can perceive with random surrealist chaos. His weave is a tangled web of malignant and despicable lies. … The orange Don praised Hitler’s generals for their loyalty and ranting about ‘enemies within’ needing to have the army turned on them. General Mark Milley said; ‘(Trump) is the most dangerous person to this country…a fascist to the core’. And sofa humping Vance the Vice called him the ‘candidate of peace’. Christ on a trampoline.

So, a fascist German teams up with a South African racist, what could go wrong? The world’s richest man with the cheapest soul, AKA ‘Free speech’ (unless you disagree with him) Misinformation Musk jumping up and down on stage beside him, crying that if Trump loses, it ‘will be the last election’. As if Kamala is going to go all totalitarian in the USA. Perhaps ‘Dark Maga’ has his eye on a future presidency…his appalling interview with (yes, that’s right, Tucker Carlson the Putin fellating lapdog) was almost all inverse to actual facts and wilfully blind to what DT has actually said and done…and the evil direction to which he moves. So much for ketamine Elon. Trump is the ‘antichrist’.

Musk (who has top secret security clearance in the US) has been in regular contact with Putin since 2022. Baldie recently asked Musk not to deploy the Starlink internet system for Taiwan as a favour to his mate President Xi. Lovely people. Meanwhile Elon started to bribe folk one by one in the swing state Pennsylvania with one-million-dollar lottery gifts. That’s how desperate he is/was for the toupéed man baby to win. At the same time hoping the US will default on its deficit in January because he (and Trump) can make a mint with gold and crypto and become de facto Masters of North America. ‘Normal’ people losing their jobs and savings are irrelevant to these filth-pig ass clowns, yet these are the ones who are the most gullible to Donalds tangled weave and will vote for their own redundancy. Like turkeys voting for Christmas.

The whole crap sack of main Trump fans are deranged. Musk, Vance, Majorie Taylor Greene (she of the ‘Jewish space lasers’ idea) the evil ugly bitch ‘proud Islamophobe’ Laura (‘If Kamala wins, the White House will smell like curry’) Loomer, the grifters and utter cowards of the Republican party, Mike Johnson, Fox News, the corrupted judges, nutjobs R F Kennedy and Alex Jones, Steve Bannon, the Proud Boys aka the KKK, the foul coven of unholy money worshipping evangelicals, those in the UK who support him…Russell Brand, Lawrence Fox, Nigel Farage, Tommy Robinson, Piers Morgan, Boris, and around the world, Orban the toad in Hungary, Netanyahu the corrupt, Kim Wrong ‘Un and of course Putin, who needs his fat Caligula gimp back in power.

By his sycophants and masters, shall thee know him.

One of Putin’s billionaire shoeshine boys, Bidzina Ivanishvili of the Georgian Dream party has promised a ‘Nuremberg trial’ of the opposition parties if he wins. (The recent election seems doubtful but it is always the way that the older and the rural will vote more than the younger. He wants to turn the country into another Belorussia…Many old fools miss Stalin; the good old days of show trials, neighbours denouncing each other…dragged screaming into the past.

China and India continue to buy Russian oil and gas and thus support the orc invasion, London is still laundering oligarch money, Iran sent attack drones and ballistic missiles to Russia…who then complain about the West sending munitions. Both sides fighting a proxy war, seems safer that way for the rest of us than going nuclear. So far. Putin has sent the first of a possible ten thousand north Korean troops to be cannon fodder in Ukraine as well as early release for Russian prisoners of all ages if they fight. And as for the Middle East…. Arg.

Arg. Perhaps it is because this year I finally realised how old I am/appear to be, and all which that entails…and am projecting my sense of dread into apocalyptic visions of total dystopia. BUT. It really does seem as if the dark forces are coalescing and metastasizing all over the world.  The Bastards will never earn respect through fear but will be increasingly paranoid power mad energy vampires seeking complete control. Full spectrum dominance indeed. And all the Ego Immortals will live forever on a Musk space station, uploaded as cyber souls in a virtual paradise with E Lon as The Creator. What is left of humanity will be enslaved (to an even greater degree than before), working to extract the very last goodness from the planet to build the machines…rhodium in its high-speed state and white powder gold and etc. Arg.

All those who fell for the con trick of ‘it’s us against the Illuminati/New World Order and the corrupt old system’, who voted against their democracies and for the axe, will be confused to find themselves in a corrupt system of a real New World Order where their lives have blatantly zero value other than as slaves. A planet run by types such as Putin, Xi, Trump and Musk. The twisted, evil and insane men will spin this globe into a nightmare holocaust of oblivion. So, congratulations suckers. Here is your world, now eat your own excrement.

‘Better the pride that resides in a citizen of the world, than the pride that divides when a cloth or rag is unfurled’.  Neil Peart. Damn right. And no religions too.

Seems likely that my future postings will stick to writing about everything other than politics, religion and totalitarianism. Perhaps a goulash of multicoloured collage stuff from here on out. Diaries, musings, ‘poetry’, memories and recommendations… staying weird but without all the endless ranting. Might be healthier for us perhaps.

Right now (October 31st) I feel the world as we knew it in terms of basic Western democracy is very close to being destroyed by the machinations of the East, but mostly thanks to the greedy scum over here aided by the badly educated drones who yearn at heart for the forced order of tyranny. As long as they feel a ‘purpose’ to their lives. Which will be to serve those who declare themselves their betters, with the liar’s promise of a better life in return for complete acquiescence, obeisance and obedience. Or else.

Nothing seems to have changed much in human evolution, it is the same do-do, just more fake alpha males like scared children seeking total control for their own security.  Bastards leading idiots, revolutions turning…into the system.  Primate survival updated with weapons of mass destruction and harnessing viruses. Enough money BUYS ‘justice’, rich criminals are never punished, con merchant priests still fool their flocks with utter bullshit to get their cash and bathe in hero worship.

The best minds are ridiculed, mistrusted, absorbed and diluted by the mainstream or worse by the dumbest neophobes. Art, theatre, writing, science, collectively the humanities, regarded with suspicion, too gay, too intellectual, progress is the Devil. Only soundbite Tik Tok bread and circuses reality tv gameshow soap operas are acceptable. Short attention spans are encouraged, so as to blind-side the public to the perpetual ‘find the lady’ con trick perpetuated by the State.

Humans are easy to rile up and manipulate when they are desperate, so to the ruling classes (and those who would be so) it is always worth keeping their citizens and voters on a knife edge of stress via finance, health and existential threats. Those who think Trump will root out the ‘deep state’ blah blah and take power from the rich are going to have a rude awakening from the American Dream, as he will just keep the money where it always stays. With the plutocracy. The billionaire tax dodgers who demand you pay them to exist.

The East has taken its revenge and infiltrated the West to the extent that its own people are turning against themselves in the name of patriotism and ‘God’. Their puppets are numbered heavily among the leaders on the Right and the rising populists…traitors who are selling out their countries for power, status and wealth. The mass who supports them are usually the mentally vulnerable, those who have been encouraged to be scared and angry among the elderly, the young and the working classes, and the middle class who feel their comfortable lifestyle is in danger.

All are being manipulated by actual, genuine enemies to divide and conquer for them. Break up Europe, the United Nations, NATO, Britain and North America…Trigger events to cause a steady flow of endless refugees so all member states are deeply freaked by foreigners. ‘There are no natives anywhere in the world – everyone is from somewhere else – all people are refugees, immigrants or aliens.’ George Carlin

‘Think for yourself, question ‘reality’, question ‘authority’ Practice good mental operational security…critical thinking. Ignoring actual global warming as we bury deeper into virtual reality and tik tok dumbing down with absolute denial, Sidestep the madness, close down and go within. Remain in this world to work but with as much amused detachment as you can manage. The scared children have voted for what they believe will bring security. Not much of that when daddy is crazy. Poison is often part of the cure but Trump is just corrosion. So, over the Rubicon we go. ‘Russia can do whatever the hell it wants’. They will. Their carefully placed and financed useful idiots/ poleznye idiot in high places in the West will take the gold and betray..

So, no more politics from here on out. Enough already. The present is tense, so love, laugh, learn and live, Reconnect. Love again…and remember…

‘Magnetic and gravitational fluctuations appear to cause the majority of occult phenomena and alter brain wave patterns…psychic windows, hallucinations external and mental.’  Stay fine😊

[divercitizen]

Things that happened when my family went on a cruise this past summer

The day we boarded, we went to eat lunch. I have a gluten allergy, so I asked multiple servers and chefs to ensure what I was eating was free from gluten and watched them make it. Every single one of them ensured it was safe for me to eat. It was not. I ended up in the ship's infirmary before it even left port, because my body went into shock. Turns out someone ran out of rice flour for the blackberry tarts so they just used wheat flour and didn't tell anyone. This traumatized my entire family and was a lovely (sarcasm intended) start to our trip.

After the blackberry tart incident, the entire food staff would follow me and my family around the dining room whenever we were there. They also made lots of comments on my eating choices (because I would rather eat plain potatoes and fruit than risk getting gluten poisoning from their fancy dishes again). We ended up stopping eating in the dining room entirely because we would be bothered every two seconds.

There was a jewelry shop onboard, and they had a free raffle the first night. Drawn in by the possibility of winning free stuff, my family and I went to enter it. My little sister (still traumatized from the blackberry tart incident and ridiculously exhausted) ended up in tears. One of the jewelry shop workers saw and gave her $50 worth of pandora knock-off charms that said things like "sip sip hooray" and "shopping is my cardio." She wore the charms on a necklace proudly for the rest of our trip.

The jewelry raffle had some salesperson come out and show off the "diamond collection" before choosing the winners. One of the necklaces cost $27K. My jaw dropped in horror and I said that was more than a year of my college tuition. My sibling (also horrified) just told me to be quiet.

My sibling and I went to a show that was supposed to be a classical dance and orchestra performance. We were expecting something traditional like ballet. It ended up being closer to a burlesque performance, but weirder. The performers pretended to be birds for one of the acts, and just rolled around on the ground making bird calls. In another act they dressed in streetwear and breakdanced to piano music. When the male performers took off their shirts, the old women who came for the show were cheering and clapping like nothing I'd ever heard before. The two of us sat in the corner shaking from silent laughter the entire time.

My sibling and my mom heard about a "chocolate surprise" late at night and stayed up to go see what that was about. They waited in the dining room until the entire food staff came running down the halls in a single-file line shouting "chocolate surprise!" and carrying spoonfuls of chocolate-covered cheerios. All the other guests acted like this was completely normal.

A comedian had a performance, and was making jokes about prune juice and orthopedic shoes. It was pretty terrible. When an old couple came in late, my mother oh so graciously offered them our seats so we could escape.

We ended up filing a lawsuit in regards to the blackberry tart incident and won :)

[largesunglasses]

In case anyone is wondering I still randomly look online to find the comedian from a cruise ship that spent a day at the place we stayed in Bermuda before he flew home. He was legit the spitting image of my grandfather (on my mom's side and we were with all my mom's side sisters and my cousins) and he legit just swam up from under the water and I thought I was tripping. He talked about knowing Lenny Clark when he found out some of us were from Boston and I'm sure the guy is dead by now but I really wish I asked his name.

[walkinsauce]

Remember back in the day when I diligently posted blogs every Tuesday...? Here's me trying again. Another installment of my new series on being a cruise ship comedian has dropped. It gets juicy.

[yourcomedyminute]

YOUR COMEDY MINUTE WITH LESTER BIBBS #StandUp #Comedian #Writer #Actor #Digital #Content #Creator #Comedy #Family #Feeling #Health #StillHere #Outside #Recorded #Begining #First #Started #Broderick #SteveHarvey #Club #Seventenn #Illegal #SneakingIn #Bombing #Sitting #Not #Laughing #DoBetter #Prime #Material #Know #Better #Stage #Presence #Timing #Confidence #Learning #Professional #Tour #Years #AJJamal #Cleveland #Smell #House #Fearless #Disney #JBSmoove #Gratitude #DeonCole #OG #Nap #GeorgeWallace #ReddFoxx #Nervous #Text #Smiths #WillSmith #ArsenioHall #Greens #Walkers #OneOfAKind #Birthday #RobinWilliams #DonKnotts #July21st #RichardPryor #GeorgeCarlin #Dangerfield #JerryLewis #AbbottAndCostello #PigmeatMarkham #BernieMac #KattWilliams #Special #LavellCrawford #BWICLaffFest #Instagram #Reel #NFL #TimHarris #HaroldBean #Bibby #Lions #Dolphins #SpankyHayes #OtherLevel #Sega #Madden2K #CallOfDuty #Football #JohnnyUnitas #JoeNamath #KennyStabler #Eagles #SaquanBarkley #CheapTrick #FreeShow #Virgin #Diddy #Tupac #Biggie #Puffy #FaithEvans #KimPorter #JayZ #Accusations #BillCosby #RKelly #MargoJackson #Appeal #Killed #Someone #Holistic #Medicine #Drink #Smoke #Pot #Wine #Movie #ReverendDoWrong #TobinCosten #MarkGrieshop #DonniceWilson #CamWilson #Superboy #DuaneShepard #Louisiana #DavidDuke #President #Trump #FredThompson #Black #White #Left #Right #Klan #Wife #Italian #French #InYou #OfficerLott #RonnieLott #Angry #Woodstock #Dumb #TV #Show #Tubi #Netflix #Hulu #Cruise #Ship #True #Story #Funny #Humor #Live #Stream #HBO #BET #Starz #LesterBibbs #LesterOverboard #MemphisRedd #fyp #FamilyFriendly #AdultsOnly #YouTube 

If you would like to be a guest on Your Comedy Minute please contact me

[rhonddaandallaneuro]

Papua New Guinea

Finally back on the road or should I say cruising again. This time to New Guinea with P & O for possibly the last time as they end a long relationship in Australian waters. Let’s hope whoever takes over the Pacific cruising routes stay much the same in standard, price and service.

Caught the local shuttle to terminal arriving nearly two hours early but no problem getting aboard so all was good. Dined upstairs in the pantry and enjoyed a very cold beer. The weather is great so did a walk around where the main pool was being repainted and the water slide, not in operation. Much of the same except an increase in drink prices. Hahaa

Dined in Waterfront where it was packed on first night. Was the State of Origin game so straight after off to the big screen where Rhondda’s beloved team smashed the Blues. A few more drinks and off to bed.

Thursday morning up early to do my walk which is very hard in slippers. I forgot to pack my walking shoes. Finally after breakfast we set up camp on the 14th deck where we sat and read in between watching dolphin pods swim past. They are truly magnificent creatures as they glide through the water. After lunch we attended the “Pacific War” lecture which was amazing. So much information that we were unaware of. Well worth the time.

Back to our cabin for a nanny nap prior to doing the Italian restaurant for tea. The food was as good as we have had and met a couple of Victorians who we chatted with for a couple of hours. Spent the next two days cruising with nothing else to do then eat, drink and talk to people. Probably highlite of first few days was the Friday night entertainment, Grant Galea, who sang and did a lot of impersonations however it was his straight impersonations that made the show

On Saturday we docked in Milne Bay and did a “Village” tour. This was great seeing a local village in traditional dress, dancing and serving up fresh prepared local product. The food itself was pretty bland but seeing the preparation and the manner in which they produce it well worth the trip.

Back in the main town saw a few war memorials but other then that not really a tourist destination. The local produce market sees the same products laid out on the concrete flooring. The entertainment on Saturday was a juggler/ comedian and he was great. A totally different slant of juggling and it’s presentation.

Sunday we were tendered to the island Kiriwina where the local market was over 200 metres long on both sides of the pathway. Saw a few things not impressed with such as turtles for sale. They are balanced on timber blocks and you purchase ($200) them so you can set them free. Pretty sure they then catch them again place them back on the blocks. Here we saw fish cooked and dried with lobster and crab freshly cooked. Would have bought a serve but no local currency.

Swimming was amazing with water clean and warm. One just had to keep an eye out for the occasional sea snake. Stayed in for well over an hour before returning to the cruise ship. Back on board we again ate and drank with the occasional trivia trial and listened to the artists on offer. There is one guy that is very good and plays all types of genre on request. Rhondda lashed out here ordering her first fruit tingle cocktail. Pretty sure there will be more enjoyed.

This was the third day where we could go on shore at Rabaul where we intended to just do a walk around to enjoy local culture. This quickly changed as we felt not only the warmth of the locals but the humidity. Quickly decided to hire a street taxi which we shared with another young couple that saw us do the touristy things in an air-conditioned Range Rover. I should point out this cost us $30 each and we did exactly the same things as the tour on offer from the ship which cost $220 per person.

Saw the most recently active volcano at the hot springs where temperatures were high as you walked in the darkest black ash that was warm to say the least. Remember a vast number of the locals walk around in bare feet. Also took in the war museum and the Japanese war tunnels (believed to be. Network over 300 kilometres in length) that saw safe passage from the mountains through to the harbour.

Returning to our cruise ship we enjoyed more drinks and food with some great entertainment on board. Tuesday we are at sea so have elected to sit in the night club area at the back,of the boat. Very calming up here.

Cruise starting to come to an end as we arrived at Conflict Island. This place is owned by an Australian who rents our half a dozen villas. He also has a green turtle sanctuary located on the island. Very pretty to walk through the vegetation but the sand had a lot of shell within so it was hard to walk. The water was also a lot colder then one expected so we only stayed a few hours.

Must mention that when attempting to depart the ship to the “tender” the seas were extremely rough and at times the gang plank fell away. Scary to say the least but we eventually boarded the tender taking us to the island where we had to do a 150 metre walk on a floating jetty. This was even more scary. Once is enough for this island. Hahaha

Back at sea we spent the last two days soaking up the sun at the pool and watching the world go by sitting in the night club area at the back of ship. It was Rhondda’s birthday on Thursday so a bit of a sleep in and then more drinking and eating.

This cruise has been very good with the right balance of days at sea with the days in port. We have talked to so many strangers and even used the swimming pool which was great hanging out at the Oasis. Allan stepped up to the plate and on one day even drank more then Rhondda. Although it must be said Rhondda was imbibing in the occasional cocktail which Allan did not. The casino was good to Rhondda on her birthday where she doubled her investment on day one. Not talking about day two.

Everyone should do this cruise at least once. An eye opener but the experience was good. We really do live in the lucky country.

[docrotten]

DEATH SHIP (1980) – Episode 267 – Decades of Horror 1980s

“Forty years at sea and you end up being a straight man for a smart-ass comedian.” Good heavens, the Captain is a party pooper. Join your faithful Grue Crew – Crystal Cleveland, Chad Hunt, Bill Mulligan, and Jeff Mohr – as they take a cruise on the Death Ship (1980).

Decades of Horror 1980s Episode 267 – Death Ship (1980)

Join the Crew on the Gruesome Magazine YouTube channel! Subscribe today! Click the alert to get notified of new content! https://youtube.com/gruesomemagazine

Gruesome Magazine is partnering with the WICKED HORROR TV CHANNEL (https://wickedhorrortv.com/), which now includes video episodes of Decades of Horror 1980s and is available on Roku, AppleTV, Amazon FireTV, AndroidTV, and its online website across all OTT platforms, as well as mobile, tablet, and desktop.

A mysterious ghostly freighter rams and sinks a modern-day cruise ship whose survivors climb aboard the freighter and discover that it is a World War II Nazi torture vessel.

Directed by: Alvin Rakoff

Writing Credits: John Robins (screenplay by); (story by) Jack Hill and David P. Lewis

Selected Cast:

George Kennedy as Captain Ashland

Richard Crenna as Trevor Marshall

Nick Mancuso as Nick

Sally Ann Howes as Margaret Marshall

Kate Reid as Sylvia

Victoria Burgoyne as Lori

Jennifer McKinney as Robin Marshall

Danny Higham as Ben Marshall

Saul Rubinek as Jackie

Murray Cruchley as Parsons (as Lee Murray)

Doug Smith as Seaman No. 1

Anthony Sherwood as Seaman No. 2 (as Tony Sherwood)

Andrew Semple as Strangled Sailor (uncredited)

Death Ship (1980) has a great poster and a decent cast (George Kennedy, Richard Crenna, Sally Ann Howes, Nick Mancuso, Victoria Burgoyne, Kate Reid, and Saul Rubinek). Its premise is also promising: A WW2 Nazi torture ghost ship rams and sinks a modern-day cruise ship and wreaks havoc with the nine survivors. To top it off, the film is co-scripted by Jack Hill (Spider Baby or, The Maddest Story Ever Told; 1967) and  David P. Lewis. The ingredients appear to be a potent combination, but do they combine to create a palatable whole? Of course, the Grue Crew has some thoughts on the matter. Check out their talkabout and discover the Gruesome truth.

At the time of this writing, Death Ship is available to stream from Amazon Prime and Tubi, and is also available on physical media as a Blu-ray formatted disc from Scorpion Releasing. 

Every two weeks, Gruesome Magazine’s Decades of Horror 1980s podcast will cover another horror film from the 1980s. The next episode’s film, chosen by Crystal, will be Prom Night (1980)! Jamie Lee Curtis stars in her third of five horror films released 1978-1981. Slasher time, everyone!

Please let them know how they’re doing! They want to hear from you – the coolest, grooviest fans – so leave them a message or comment on the Gruesome Magazine Youtube channel, on the Gruesome Magazine website, or email the Decades of Horror 1980s podcast hosts at feedback@gruesomemagazine.com.

Check out this episode!

[thepatchworkreview]

Debrief and Critique: Chlorine, Longboy, Bummer, Dude!, and Sells - 11/30/23 - Cafe Colonial, Sacramento

Critiques follow a two-part formula: Opinionated critique, and objective critique Objective critique will include a summary of the content and technical skill ONLY. aaaaaand...Opinionated critique includes discussion of the "show" aspect of the-.. well, the show. 

~Opinionated Critique~

Am I putting my opinion first? Yes. I am. Because all the unpleasant technical stuff should always be AFTER you compliment the shit out of someone. TO BE FAIR. Not everything I have to say about all these bands is pleasant. Gentle reminder—it's my opinion, and who gives a single shit about that?

- Chlorine: Best screams, hands down. The grungy look and sound of the band really evokes an older, Seattle grunge feel. The drums were NASTY, the rides and fills fucking rocked, and the pit moshed hard for a fucking reason. This band reeks with the look and feel of a band who are on the same page. Do I feel like the grungey Y2K thing is being overdone right now? A little, yeah—but these guys wear it well and commit really hard. As they progress and play more shows, I do expect to see tighter, crowd-work—and I mean more than just plugging the band Instagram. I also would like to see more dynamic showmanship from all members. 

- Longboy: Award for the band that had the most shit going on goes to... Longboy! These guys had a bunch of ideas and gags happening that really added to the show: samples that faded into songs; bringing up a friend to sing the first song of the set; a synth! Ecclectic outfits and a funny cover song that people were BOUND to know and sing along to, sung by a singer who sounded UNCANNILY like the original artist. It ruled! But what I will say is that the amount of stuff and genres that they delved into made the set a bit unruly and thematically whirl-windy. A lot of really good ideas! ...With a lack of followthrough. The playing was stellar! I want to see that amount of polish applied to the show you guys put on!

- Bummer, Dude!: THESEGUYS ARE PERFORMING AT THE WRONG VENUES! AND YES! I  DO MEAN THAT NICELEY! The sound is so Jeff Buckley, so Billy Idol—it's cruise ship ready! Bummer, Dude retains the harder sound with really passionate breakdowns and lush guitar riffs, but is slow enough to melt right into your sweetheart with. That being said, I did find that about halfway through their set I was looking for a little more energy—I felt like they slowed down the show nicely, but holy shit did it get slow. I would've loved them to end on a way more energetic note, something that the whole band just fucking rocks out to rather than the "hit," y'know?

- Sells: Okay. I have words for you guys that aren't great, but that's all in the other section of critique. The lead singer sang and performed like Sid Viscious on cracked cocaine. Did you play six songs and all of them used three or four chords maybe? Oh yeah. For sure. Did you still knock it out of the park with insane crowd-work, energy, bombast and style? YES. The juxtaposition—whether intentional or not of the lead singer and bassist, one being an insane performer—and the other stonefaced (accidental???) comedian was such an incredible, versatile component of the show. Not only that, but just- the sheer, raw, unmatched energy that the lead singer ALONE provided was fucking captivating. AND it acted as the lynchpin for a memorable end of the show as an entirety. All I want from you guys is to keep working on your music and the technicalities of it, you've got the showmanship part of it made (sans the shy [what I can only assume to be- new] person on both bass and drums. I do need less embarrassment and more vibes from them {sorry to drag you, girl.})

~ Objective Critique ~Content: This will hopefully be the only show I will ever have to say this for, but everyone is on an equal playing field as far as content within the bounds of the live show. The live audio was a clusterfuck of poor mixing and vocalists not knowing how dynamic mics (those little round microphones you see people like mariah carrey sing into) pick up sound. Now: what leads me to believe that the mic trouble was not just user error is that more obviously skilled members between the bands would still have moments of really muddled audio, even while performing about 3-5 inches from the damn things. Not only this, but the lead singer of Chlorine did actually notice that he could not hear himself, and did ask for this to be resloved (it was not). For a good 40-60% chunk of the performances, I could not 

clearly hear anything being sung. (I will include that I could pretty much hear all of "Bummer, Dude!'s vocals BECAUSE their surrounding instrumentals were so tame that they left room for it. When they picked things up—nada.  I also heard Sells vocals but I genuinely attribute that to the fact that the lead singer was fucking BELLOWING into the mic like real style.) (Again, I apologize, because this seems like such a cop out.)

Technical Skill:I kind of dread writing this part just because I'm an amateur artist myself, and really can't go shitting on people's head's about their performances—SO BEFORE YOU COME AFTER ME I dragged my sorry ass friend (the guy who went to the show with me!) (he actually knows stuff about music AND has done live shows before) into this journalistic mess, and will be paraphrasing statements he made to me, quite appropriately in a dark and empty band room. 

- Chlorine: Although fucked by the mixing, had some really great stability and themes. The playing (guitar) was a little muddy on it's own and could've 100% used some more definition or direction- but this could also just be a product of the genre they play. (shoegaze, eg.) The drummer was reliable and had good fills and rides, but would follow the lead singer's excitement—rushing and lagging to his singing. This isn't always a bad thing, and frankly isn't noticable to any "simple show-goer" (for lack of better term), but it was something that could be observed by a careful eye. As a young band, we only expect them to get better—and it's very obvious the time and effort they have put into practicing paid off. They sounded good and tune to eachother well. 

- Longboy: Longboy had alot going on, which was exciting! But this left us with few comments about the drummer, as we don't remember being able to hear much of them, quite unfortunately. (Again, I don't think this is Longboy's fault, the mixing was just trash.) The guitarist//bassist seemed dynamic and experienced. At the very begining of the set, a synthesizer was used to create a piano part that was not well-practiced. It sounded bad and janky among the softer singing and instrumental. Every other aspect of their performance though—just aside from that synth part—was very well done. 

- Bummer, Dude!: The tightest set for certain, for obvious reasons. The music was slow, and easy to keep tempo to (not a dig, again, just a product of the R&B//Shoegaze genre) and it was incredibly obvious that the band had not only practiced immensely, but also performed live for a while. (Note: we have agreed this drummer held tempo the best out of all the bands.) All moving parts of the band—guitar, bass, vocals, and drums—operated like a well oiled machine.

- Sells: Out of all bands, Sells did have the most issues with tempo consistency. A mechanic they played on throughout the show is that they would switch instruments, (i.e, the singer would play the drums, etc.), and while the singer played very fast and vigorously, could not keep... you guessed it: tempo consistency. Later, the bassist took over on drums and had simillar issues; the drums sounded unpracticed, even with simple beats. But! When on their "home" instruments, they played well together. (I would like to mention it's really hard to sing and play drums, so kudos regardless.) (Additional note: Tempo consistency is not as important in a live setting as others, but is an important measure of technical skill.)

  You can find all these guys on instagram- 

@fuckchlorine

@Longboy_CA

@Bummerdudes

@SellsBand

Overall, an energetic, diverse, fun, show- With so much opportunity hot on it's tail.

Many thanks for those of you who took the time to read! Let's pick this up again, some other time. 

 :)

- Patch

[pumpkinland]

My mom is going on a cruise to the Dominican this year & last night she complained that she heard there's a comedian on her ship that's not very funny and I was just like... World's smallest violin

[irguardian]

Cultural Calendar Sept 30-Oct 6

ARTS AND CULTURAL Events ~ CCIRC Performances & Events The Comedy Zone at Riverside Theatre on September 29 & 30 Headliner Carl Rimi is a seasoned stand-up comedian with a remarkable 28-year career, celebrated for his performances in comedy clubs nationwide and on cruise ships across the globe. Feature act��Keith Lenart has worked with Caroline Rhea, Pauly Shore, Judy Tenuta, Bobcat Goldthwait,…