#crps sucks

[luxettenebra]

for a while now, my baseline was Tired and In Pain. being in constant pain really takes a toll on both body and mind

[aradidnt]

repost because Tumblr is a stinky poopoo head for not letting this appear in the tags

[mels-medarda]

I'm seriously wanting to wring my spine out like a towel rn

[creek-ink]

realized I've been in the crp fandom for a decade.

what.

huh.

hm?

come again??

P A R D O N?!!

EXCUSE ME??

ЧТО?!!?

[bionicbabe0101]

CW: ableism discussion

I just finished a work meeting with a group of healthcare administrators and medical providers. They ended with a casual conversation about how they would all rather die at a ‘young’ age (which according to them is around 70) then experience a loss in quality of life due to chronic illnesses or aging in general. Lots of agreement around how devastating it would be to be a burden on others because of chronic illness. One administrator literally described a life that was short but free of serious health problems as ‘a good life.’

My chronically ill ass promptly left the meeting to crawl under my desk and weep tears of rage and despair.

I was diagnosed with my first chronic condition when I was 25. I guess I should’ve just died, because now I’m such a burden and can’t have a good life.

[wishful-seeker]

I need AT LEAST two hot baths a day for my pain

Its getting colder

Colder means less hot water

Means cold baths

Means no solution for severe pain

Means extreme stress and crying

[auroramosaic]

guess which bitch is finally on testosterone injectionssssss

[skitterjitter]

my CRPS is being really bad today. I don't know why, but normally I' m not bothered by my pants at all, but today I can't stand them. I don't mind my sheets though, so at least I'm warm

[no-demons-in-wonderland]

New Years used to be one of my favorite holidays. The fireworks, a new years kiss, celebrating with someone I loved.

2023 was the same as 2022, long, miserable, extremely disappointing and lonely.

I miss my furry friends. I miss you. You get to move on and be happy. I still cry myself to sleep most nights and wake up crying almost as much.

I don’t even need to remember what I dreamt of, it’s always you and the same pain, over and over.

The day I got injured I lost everything.

I lost my job, my home, my family, my heart now I’m loosing my leg and nothing is coming back.

Now I’m left without even a friend because I lost that too.

I wish me walking again meant that I’d get everything back but that’s not how it works…

Even if you said it was.

I hate promises.

[beautifully-tantalizing]

On today’s episode recap of J’s Beautifully Tantalizing World, we start with having a flare up that lasted all day. Excruciating to a point of needing my crutches.

had an appointment with the new team of mental health professionals sometime today and got absolutely nothing figured out.

Doc basically went “ADHD no more, those hyper focused times where you refused to sleep is looking closer to mania. Surprise we are now looking into Bipolar disorder. The ADHD thing is something we will visit after your vacation”

And we close with the fact that I haven’t slept in 30 hours and I’m leaving for a 20 day road trip vacation in under 5 hours.

[minhosimthings]

Sample Session || 18+

Synopsis: In which you ask your boyfriend for a semen sample

Pairings: Sunghoon × fem!reader, non idol au

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, p in v sex, rough sex, overstimulation, unprotected sex (not for you at all) masturbation (male), spit as lubricant, praise, degradation, swearing, rough dom Sunghoon, sub!reader, reader wears pink lingerie, boob fixation, dirty talk eyyy, collecting semen in that tube because we medical students, mentions of Yunjin from Le Sserafim and Gaeul from IVE

A/N: this is my submission for @deluluriddhi's 500+ followers event which you can find here! Had a shit ton of fun writing this though so here you go babies!

Being a doctor has its advantages.

You get to help people, you get a shit ton of money (student debt sucks but hey), you get a hot boyfriend, you can correctly pronounce and know the meaning of choledocholithiasis.

Did I mention hot boyfriend?

Park Sunghoon. Possibly the hottest and the only surgeon-in-training you'd ever want to have inside of you all day long.

Of course the walls still speak of the times he railed you in the room where they kept the crp training dolls, but we don't speak about that anymore.

But one of the greatest advantages of having a Park Sunghoon, as you soon found out, was that he proved useful in a quest.

For a particularly awkward thing.

"Sperm samples?" Yunjin gasped, almost spilling her coffee on you, "we have to collect sperm samples?"

"For the last time, yes." Gaeul groaned, massaging her temples, Yunjin had been asking the same thing since the past hour.

"How on earth are we going to get semen samples?" Yunjin asked, turning to you for some reason.

"Alright ladies, time to seduce some men." Gaeul laughed, sipping her frappuccino.

"Y/N already seduced one." Yunjin groaned, deflating her body onto the table, "Hey, get some for us too will you?"

"Number 1, we need to have different samples, and number two how the hell am I gonna ask him?" You quizzed the girls, who looked dumbfounded.

"Maybe..you know." Yunjin began, and you realised she had the same face on as she did whenever she saw the extremely phallic design of the law building at your college, "Just do the oogey-boogey with him."

Gaeul's frappucino can spit out her nose, as she cackled loudly, garnering the attention of many people in the cafe.

"The oogey-boogey YUNJIN WHAT?" Gauel kept laughing, holding her stomach tightly, "Is that your way of saying that Y/N needs to seduce Sunghoon into somehow giving her his semen?" She said, when her laughter died down.

"Absolutely not!" You protested. The idea of seducing your boyfriend was...nice to think of but to actually have a practical session? You would have rather jumped off a cliff.

"Just ask him today, we have a holiday tomorrow, so incase the oogey-boogey indeed does oogey-boogey you have semen! Simple."

Gaeul's frappucino was subjected to being ejected out of her nose again, as she rolled over in fits of laughter.

This wasn't you.

This definetly wasn't you, Sunghoon thought.

His mind was racing at a hundred kilometres per the second, and his bag full of pastries for you was abandoned on the floor as soon as he saw what lay in front of him.

A reward for his hard work today? The thought of what he had done to deserve you was running a lap through his brain. You, in your pretty pink lace, with white trimmings, and pearls on your neck, the ones he bought you of course.

"Well hello there, gorgeous." He said, grabbing your waist in his arms, as he always did when he got back home. But this time, with a different purpose.

"All dressed up for me today?" He quizzed you, placing a kiss at the nape of your neck. It was pathetic how much the simple action made your hole so wet.

Sunghoon toyed with the pretty pink lace of your bra, kissing up and down your collarbone. God had you changed your perfume? It seemed so intoxicating to him. Your hands came to rest on his shoulder, as you nibbled the tip of his ear a bit, which made his dick throb inside his pants.

"Come on." He mumbled through his kisses, lifting you into his arms, making you wrap your legs around his waist, which you did promptly.

The one thing that Sunghoon would have never expected was the various medical equipment that lay on your bed.

"Y/N." He glanced at you suspiciously, putting you down on your feet, "what's all this?"

You awkwardly cleared your throat and rushed over to the bed, picking up a tiny test tube and shoving it in your boyfriend's hands.

"Alright so I have an assignment and I need your help." You said, a bit more seriously than you had wanted to.

"Do you need me to get you pregnant or something?" Sunghoon chuckled, his eyes darkening, "Cause I won't say no."

"Actually it's not that."

"Then what is it, princess?"

"Canihaveyoursemensampleplease." You mumbled, or more properly, to say, rapped.

"Y/N, proper sentences please?"

Sighing heavily to yourself, you gulped and wrapped your arms around Sunghoon again, pressing a chaste, sweet kiss to his pink lips.

"I need a semen sample for an assignment." You mumbled into his ear, albeit a but louder this time. Sunghoon smirked into your neck.

"That's it?" He asked, a cocky smile spreading on his face. His baby, needs a sample from him? He thought it was the most adorable thing ever.

"Yeah...it's fine if you say no though!" You panicked, looking at him with widened eyes. But Sunghoon only chuckled again and raised your chin to his level with his finger.

"How could I say no when you're asking so nicely?" He said, guiding you over to the bed. Kicking off his shoes, Sunghoon settled in nicely between the sheets, while you awkwardly sat at the edge, handing the tube to him.

"Don't want to join me baby?" Sunghoon asked, taking off his belt and his trousers, and pulling you in for a sudden kiss, by grabbing your face with his hands.

"You're a medical student too Hoon, you know I can't." You rolled your eyes at him.

"Alright, but do me a favour. Hold the tube in place for me will you?" He handed the tube back to you, and you bit your lip. Holding it in place. In other words, bending over to make Hoon see your cleavage.

"If that's what'll get you off, then fine." You grumbled, although your panties were getting wetter by the second at the idea.

Sunghoon leaned against the bedframe, relaxing into the sheets, holding his throbbing cock with one hand. He began to jerk off hard, his hand rising to the tip of the cock, where more fat drops of precum accumulate, feeling the alcohol of your perfume take over the body,

"that what you want, princess?” he spits on his cock and starts jerking off again while he speaks his hand doesn't stop, slow movements, up and down as if he wanted to feel the familiar sensation of your walls clenched around him. He could feel a knot forming in his stomach, at the sight of seeing your tits, lined perfectly in your lingerie. The sight of it made him go mental.

His hand never abandons his cock, squeezing, going up and down without losing rhythm. Sunghoon began to feel signs of orgasm so he reduced the speed of his hand, waiting for what will come next.

Sunghoon thinks while squeezing his cock tightly, holding by the base his fingers massage the balls, he climbs his hand slowly and passes his thumb over the head of the cock dripping precum, spreading and with his eyes glazed, little moans escaping his lips. Sunghoon sits more centered on the bed, drops of sweat run down his hair, dripping and turning a trail around his neck, chest and belly, his body is so sensitive to touch that the drops of water seem to scratch while the sheets seem to hug him.

"Fuck—im close." He whimpered, eyes rolling back as the knot in his stomach broke and the next moment, his hand was drenched in cum, and you were holding a test tube filled with what you needed.

"Shit" Sunghoon fell back on the bed, while you happily inserted the semen into your carrier so that it stayed safe. You crawled promptly into the bed with him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you so much Hoonie, I had no idea how I was going to get the-"

"What about my payment princess?" Sunghoon's whispered growl in your ear left you crumbling.

His touch left your skin burning in desire for more and before you could even catch a breath his hands grabbed your legs and you find yourself wrapped around his waist. Your hair was soft between his fingers and as he gently pulled it, you let out a little groan. 

"Hoonie–" you whimpered, feeling a blush creep up to your cheeks.

He loved seeing you like that, confused, embarrassed, submissive, and highly aroused. Holding your gaze for another moment, he rubbed his hand over your wet folds, gathering your slick on his palm. When he finally bent a finger and slipped it between your lower lips, he watched you closely, and as a soft squelching sound rang in his ears, he saw you writhing in discomfort, frowning slightly, but it made him smile at you, and your embarrassment was quickly forgotten.

Holding your waist firmly, Sunghoon flipped you over onto the bed with a rough thump, making you moan at the very sensation of his biceps touching your body.

"So wet for me already?" Sunghoon chuckled, removing your panties slowly, "You're so adorable."

"Shut up." You groaned, feeling embarrased again, "Hoonie, we ran out of condoms, maybe we should-"

"You're on birth control right?" Sunghoon pressed a kiss to your neck, making you mewl when his tip slightly touched your pussy, "You're not leaving this bed until the sheets are either drenched or until you've fainted."

His voice was rough as he lined himself up with your entrance as you panted in anticipation, fingers digging into his back when he finally entered you, moaning deeply at the feeling of your walls starting to clench around him.

The stretch when he enters you burns gloriously, your mouth falling open in a perfect, round ‘O’ of ecstasy. Sunghoon fills you slowly, burying himself to the hilt, so deep that you can practically feel him rearranging your insides.

“That’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.” he praises.

Discomposed, his voice thickens, rounding the vowels and blurring the ends of his words. Sunghoon rocks his hips one shallow thrust striking a spot inside you that has your vision whiting out, ecstasy buzzing in your heavy limbs.

“That felt good, huh? Yeah. I know, I know,” he soothes, swallowing your whines with wet, deliberate kisses, tongue sweeping every corner of your mouth and teeth grazing your lips.

Your noises grew louder, as did the wet squelching sounds as your pussy fluttered around him, muscles clenching, a burning warmth gathering inside you. You sank your nails into the old wood, holding on for dear life as his pelvis smacked against your cushioned ass in quick succession.

 “Can’t you handle it, baby?” Sunghoon looked at you with pity, "Is it too much for your pathetic pussy?"

“I can-fuck, I can—handle it.” you whimpered. You clearly, could not handle it.

His own grunts filled your ears, adding to the tension building up in your belly, those deep vibrations pushing you right over the edge.

"Hoon-I—ah FUCK!"

You cried out when your walls clamped around him, that tight coil within exploding into a thousand tiny lights that made your entire body convulse against him. He felt your orgasmic contractions, and despite the soreness in his leg, he kept fucking you through your release, your juices helping in easing your tight passage, but he still strained to keep his rhythm. His fingers dug into your soft skin, and he felt a bead of sweat running along his temple.

That unlocked something inside of him. While he still held you, leaving sloppy kisses on your neck, your shoulders, anywhere he could reach, he slammed into you, forcing your small body to jerk in his arms with each thrust. He grunted and moaned, nearly panting, as he crammed himself inside of you.

It doesn’t take long for your next orgasm to build up, releasing it with a silent cry as you unintentionally dig your fingers into Sunghoon's back causing him to groan in your ear in pleasure. He keeps his thrusts consistent as you begin to leak around his cock and onto the blanket beneath you. There’s no doubt you’ll have to change the bedding later. 

All you could do was bury your head in his chest until with one more thrust, he pushed into you, unloading pump after pump of cum. Afterwards, he slumped down, slowly dragging his cock out of your stuffed cunt, leaving you empty and internally screaming at the intoxication of the burn.

"Shit-" Sunghoon plopped down on the bed, next to you. Both of your chests rose and fell in unison, as you managed to steeply catch your breath.

A moment of calm silence arose before-

"Does your professor need any more sampler or...?" Sunghoon asked, eliciting a laugh out of you.

"Nope, just the one." You chuckled at his unseriousness as he pulled you in for cuddles.

"You're changing the sheets this time Hoon."

"Damn it."

Bonus

"So you did the oogey-boogey with him?"

"Yunjin!"

[the-s1lly-corner]

Making friendship bracelets for various crps

Potentially the first part of multiple idk I guess we'll have to wait and see!

Characters: jeff, nina, slenderman, laughing jack

Notes: reader is GN, platonic post but can be read as pining/crushing

CWs: mentions of blood

JEFF THE KILLER

Acts like he doesnt like it but will get defensive if you try to take it back from him

Sucks at making bracelets so if you get one in return(unlikely), it's not the prettiest or best out together.. you think you heard him swearing under his breath while putting it together

Keeps it under his jacket sleeve so it doesn't get covered in blood... he.. oddly seems to be careful of that, when he otherwise wouldn't care

Shoves it into your hands when the string needs replaced, tries to act like it's not a big deal and pushes you to just fix it when you ask questions

NINA THE KILLER

Has experience with making friendship bracelets and necklaces, so she makes quick and decent work when making one for you! Absolutely cherishes the one you make for her and never takes it off

The one she makes for you is colorful and chaotic, but unlike LJ, hers tend to have some sort of theme to string it together instead of being a mess

The bracelet you make for her joins the many that decorate her arms, and she swears shes never going to take it off ever

Unconventional materials, like tabs from cans and pins and so on

LAUGHING JACK

The second you bring up the idea hes begging for the two of you to sit down and make one together!

The one he makes you is a little... much.. he adds as many colors and charms as he can add to it so it may be a little clunky and chaotic, but god hes so proud of himself

The first version of the bracelet you make for him is too small so you need to remake it :( he has very large hands... you also learn that his clothing seems to be a part of his body so the bracelet goes over his sleeve

Probably eating the beads when you're not looking

SLENDERMAN

He doesn't quite get it but he let you slip the bracelet onto his wrist!

Curious head tilt as you ask for his hand and slip it on him, doesn't resist

Doesnt take it off ever, either hes forgotten it's there or he simply wants to keep it on.. if it ever needs to be taken off for one reason or another he tucks it into his suit jacket for safe keeping

Has never made a bracelet himself, for obvious reasons... but you may wake up to a vague mimicry of one left on your table... made with pretty rocks and bones and sticks.. forest stuff

[possibly-in-wonderland]

I was in the og pasta fandom.

of course i hate the cheesecake joke nowadays but still sort of associate masky and hoodie with crp

but I also still headcanon toby as enjoying waffles. not to a memeable extent, more as a

"shit my hunger cues suck and i should probably eat something quick. lemme pop a waffle in the toaster"

[crushedsweets]

do u have any more bonnie lore that u can share with us? i’m obsessed with her design and her story<3

Ok I’m assuming you mean ghost Bonnie… hmm… but let me see if I can collect random thoughts. Also thank you anon youre a sweetheart <3

General summary: “The Ghost Bride” is a version of my crp OC bonnie made for a 2014-fanon slender mansion AU with my friends! She lives in the mansion w all my friends OCs. The mansion is in a.. pocket dimension sorta? I think?

This is really funny but I watched inside out 2. Anxiety/maya hawke is probably her voice claim. HAHAHAH

She sorta gives the energy of Megan in “but I’m a cheerleader”. She’s largely in denial about being a lesbian and is pretty clueless/ignorant on it, having grown up in the 70-80s before she died

Her fiancé was a very traditional American guy. Huge family of hunters, which always made Bonnie uneasy going to his house and seeing deer heads displayed on the walls. When he hunted her down for running off the aisle, she was mostly thinking about all those deer. And how she was next, obvi

Her story (after death) mainly goes in 2-3 arcs:

1. She spends several decades(although time is distorted) in the slender forest just roaming around, sobbing, begging her fiancé not to shoot, hiding behind trees and rocks and heaving nonstop. It’s impossible to talk to her and she’s MOSTLY not even visible to other residents, considering she’s a ghost - but occasionally she spooks people

2. Eventually she starts to settle into the mansion. Slendy sorta messes with her head - he tries to make her forget what happened to her, and make her forget that she’s even dead, but it actually just leaves her really confused and having a constantly warped sense of reality and what stage of life she’s in. Sometimes she thinks she’s back in highschool fawning over a crush, sometimes she thinks she’s days away from her dream wedding, sometimes she thinks she’s been married for years. In general she’s just kinda like… stupid …. Super ditzy, just lays around in bed all day in nightgowns and reading teen magazines and chewing bubblegum. Doesn’t throw tantrums but she will have random moments where she loses her shit and starts tearing her room apart freaking out over a wedding. Gets called bridezilla by a certain somebody… 😒😒

3. She ends up killing her fiancé, and that’s sorta what snaps her back into reality. She understands, remembers, and accepts what happened to her. She spends time with her friends and begins the whole “ghost recovery acceptance processing your own death” thing. She’s mostly okay with it, considering she’s exactly where she wants to be - a freaky mansion with her friends, ran by some guy she views as a father figure

She tends to the mansions garden the most I believe. Usually drags her friends out and makes them do a lot of the harder work (mowing the lawn, dealing with pests, cleaning gutters) while she does the rest. Eventually gets told off for gender roles or something funny . LMAOOO

She cannot cook. Swears she’s gonna be the best damn house wife in the world. Cannot cook. Can not cook. Hear me when I say this. She can not cook. OK IM EXAGGERATING but she does suck at cooking…

Loves wearing bunny slippers and making her friends match other animal slippers with her.

Always has to be in some sort of bridal wear - whether it’s a wedding dress, a bridal party dress, a slip dress, night gown, robe. Something white and frilly and preferably silky

I dunnooo… lmk if y’all have any specific questions cuz I haven’t really been working on her lately

[bionicbabe0101]

PSA that no one needed:

Passing kidney stones is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad experience. If you know, you know. If you don’t, I honestly hope you never do.

[wishful-seeker]

Vent about crps

Crps is so weird. By the way i talk about my pain and how i walk slow, or always use my wheelchair, people assume its a sharp acute pain that hurts when you touch it, like tendinitis for example.

But its not. Its a burn. No, not like a work out burn like some people think, which i wouldn't even call a burn, strained muscles don't BURN, yall abled people are using the wrong word. Anyways, no, it's like a STOVE BURN mixed with pins and needles. Feels like you're slowly being roasted on a fire. Just below my skin is a raging flame that cannot be snuffed out. And the skin itself doesn't hurt when yo accidentally bump into it, press it, or massage it, but it hurts like HELL if you softly stroke it, or a fabric fold or seam touches it. Feels like being stabbed with needles, its not a sensory thing, its physically fucking painful.

So yeah you can hug me tight, or accidentally bump into my knee, that doesn't hurt. But don't fucking stroke those areas.

And the WIND god i hate wind. The cold fucking HURTS, somehow cold makes it burn more, like im being burned alive. And when cold wind hits my sensitive areas it burns AND feels like needles.

My only escape is sleep. Its a neurological disease, my brain THINKS i have nerve damage but i actually don't have nerve damage. Sure I've lost mobility i little, can't squat anymore, but there is NO PHYSICAL DAMAGE, NOTHING STRUCTURALLY WRONG WITH MY BODY. My brain is simply confused, its trapped in a constant loop of "oh shit there is nerve damage!" 24/7, but, when i fall asleep it shuts the brain down and there is absolutely no pain. My brain is quirky like that.

And then you have the treatment: ketamine. Ketamine is like chemo. Ketamine is crps's chemotherapy. Its the number 1 treatment, you pretty much cant get remission without it, and its an iv infusion that makes you really sick first few times, causes nightmares, and the entire time of the infusion you are DMT level high. The high itself is actually what the treatment is. The intense, life altering high literally short circuits my brain. It interrupts that loop that my brain is stuck in, and literally rewires it the way its supposed to be, and then i feel a lot less pain. During the infusions there is no pain at all. If i do this long enough it has a chance to fix it semi permanently, which would be remission. Thats how it all works.

It sucks, and it kinda feels like a cruel joke. My only chance of walking is getting high as fuck. Lucky me i guess...