Theory: Crowley's snake form was a GIFT from God, not a punishment
GIF von capinejghafa
We all thought Crowley's snake form was part of his punishment for asking questions.
But: what if it wasn't meant as a punishment?
Imagine: the angels are angry about Crowley asking questions. God is pleased: Crowley is appreciating the creations. He is curious, intelligent, brave, has a pure heart, he cares more about truth than following rules. He truly cares and values the creations, because he is asking questions and thinking about it. The other angels are all kind of: 'oh, yes, God made it, so it has, needless to say, to be beautiful. No questions necessary, because we trust in God's great plan.' They don't waste a single thought to think about why the creations are beautiful.
If you create something, you LOVE it when people poin out why they love your creation. You get excited every time someone notices a hidden detail. Conclusion: God must be so incredibly bored with the angels just praising him without truly recognizing what is praisable.
And then there comes Crowley, our Starmaker, with his joy, excitement and actually being aware of why the universe is beautiful. God must have felt like an artist getting a compliment for a hidden detail.
Pushing Crowley to hell wasn't God's decision, it was the angels - removing someone from the office who doesn't cheer to the rules. All the heavenly buerocrats don't like questions, because they profit from the system and don't want changes. They are very comfy with just cheering to everything God does. Have trust in his plans, always. The heavenly buerocrats don't want Crowley to ask questions, because he is indirectly pointing out none of them cares about anything else than themselfs. (Like in the Job minisode when none of the angels was aware of the value of a human life and the love between humans) Crowley always put himself at risk for helping others, he is a guardian, even as a demon.
So when God saw what the angels did, he decided to make a gift to Crowley, which will always remind him about the fact that God loves his thoughts and questions. God gave Crowley his snake form, and made him give knowledge to the humans. God knew Crowley loves knowledge, so what could be a greater gift than being able to share knowledge? And since God has an weird ineffable sense of humor, nobody will recognize the gift as such, and Crowley's snake form is a disguise to sneak an intelligent, caring, pure hearted guardian into hell's bee hive.
What if God gave Crowley the snake eyes as a symbol of Crowley seeing things differetly? It is God's weird ineffable way to tell Crowley: 'I appreciate your ability and will to look behind the things, question the reasons and to truly care about my creations.'
But because of heaven's buerocracy God had to disguise his gift as a punishment, so the buerocrats won't recognize it. Like, telling hell: 'hey, wouldn't it be fun to see him crawl? You know....some kind of snake? Won't it?' And hell: 'oh yes, sounds like fun. For us, not for Crowley of course. Let's do that.'
God has a weird ineffable sense of humor. Giving someone a gift which isn't recognizeable as a gift would fit perfectly in ineffable humor.
Conclusion: God gifted Crowley the snake form and the ability to bring knowledge to the humans. He is a guardian disguised as demon in hell's bee hive. God knew Crowley would care about humanity, appreciating their curiosity and hunger for knowledge. For someone who cherishes knowledge and the ability to ask questions - wouldn't it be utter joy to share knowledge?
Crowley becoming the serpent of eden was God's GIFT to Crowley, and his snake eyes are a daily reminder for his love of knowledge and care for others.
God knows it is a burden, but he is well aware about Crowley's strength. He knows Crowley is strong enough. And he loves Crowley for all the things, heaven and hell hate about him: his curiosity, his pure heart, his questions, his kindness. (the same things, Aziraphale loves about him, amongst many other things)
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Rainy Day
https://archiveofourown.org/works/56711314
Summary:
This bit of Ineffable Husband fluff was inspired by MetalMiez's "Accidental Sleepover" https://archiveofourown.org/works/56628781
with the lovely idea of Aziraphale as a cozy warm sunny rock perfect for a serpent formed someone.
Work Text:
Sheets of rain blurred the image of Whickber street through the windows of Aziraphale's shop. These sorts of afternoons were wonderful since they tended to make most foot traffic turn into Nina's coffee shop or really any of the cozy restaurants in the neighborhood. Aziraphale was settling down on the couch with a huge mug of tea and a favorite Jane Austen book when the doorbell jangled as it opened with an unwelcome gust of chill wind and the very welcome sight of Crowley with treats.
“Got ‘em!” Crowley held up a pastel cord wrapped box triumphantly.
“Oh you shouldn't have!” exclaimed Aziraphale, eyes twinkling, as he eagerly took the box from Crowley, brushing his fingers.
“Dear boy, did you get chilled?” Aziraphale paused in opening the much coveted box of pastries.
“‘S nothing,” deflected Crowley, “Go on,” he sat on the other end of the couch eagerly watching Aziraphale take up a brightly colored macaron. Watching the angel enjoy something delicious was still one of his favorite things. Crowley could ignore getting a little cold for that.
Then Aziraphale paused, looking away from the rosy orange disks sandwiched around who knew what delicious interior, “You're all wet, didn't you take the Bentley?” Aziraphale asked.
“Couldn't find parking,” Crowley grumbled, following the orbit of the pastry towards the angel's lips, anticipating his exclamations of delight.
Now, worse than pausing, the angel was putting the box on the table. Crowley, no longer moving, was getting colder and colder.
Aziraphale looked at him in amazement. “ You couldn't find parking…”
“Yeah, it's apparently a really, really popular place!” Crowley was feeling strangely muzzy, that must be why he said out loud, “Miracles didn't even work…had to wait in line…”
Looking dumbstruck, Aziraphale closed the distance between them on the couch. Touching Crowley’s cold cheek and noting how chill Crowley's lean leg was against his, the angel exclaimed,
“Dear, you're freezing ! Let's get you into a nice warm bath!”
With Aziraphale's hands on his cheeks, Crowley sighed as he leaned into the heat, then he mumbled plaintively, “Don' wanna bath. Wanna watch you eat!”
Sluggish thoughts spinning slowly, Crowley managed to think, Aziraphale radiated coziness, like a perfect rock that sat all day in the sun. Crowley wanted nothing more than to watch him eat and…
Pop
A little muffled implosion found Aziraphale looking down at coils and coils of cold gleaming black snake spilling over his hands.
“Oh my dear boy,” crooned Aziraphale, lovingly gathering up Crowley into a tidier knot. The angel scooched back to his side of the couch, tucking Crowley into the front of his shirt while supporting the chilled snake over his heart.
Aziraphale murmured, "As you wish,” biting into a beautiful macaron, letting the crisp meringue infused pastry melt on his tongue while savoring the sparkling tartness of the passion fruit filling.
Humming with pleasure, Aziraphale settled back into the couch, pulled the pastry box onto his stomach, and picked up his book.
Waving his fingers at the door, the shades dropped down and the “Very closed” sign guarded the door.
Crowley fell asleep in a cocoon of warmth, the steady beat of the angel’s heart under him, rocked by the rise and fall of his breaths, tickled by the rumbling of the angel's pleased murmurs with every bite of pastry.
After finishing his book, Aziraphale peered down at the coils of serpentine contentment sitting on his chest. Crowley was so endearing asleep like this, but Aziraphale could think of a more comfortable spot for them both. Careful not to let Crowley slide down, Aziraphale rose from the couch with all the stealth of a parent draped with a sleeping toddler and headed upstairs.
***
The next morning, Crowley, human-shaped again, woke up in their bed puddled up against Aziraphale's warm bulk. He grumbled happily in the back of his throat. Aziraphale took Crowley’s hand from where it lay over his heart and kissed his knuckles.
“Are you feeling better now?” he inquired.
Yawning hugely, Crowley blinked, “Mmmmhmm. Did you like your macarons?”
“They were lovely. I saved one.”
Crowley leaned back from Aziraphale’s warmth reluctantly, “Really? What for?”
“I thought you might like to watch me eat one in this form,” Aziraphale explained.
Crowley leaned his forehead back against the nape of the angel's neck.
“Thoughtful of you. But all the same,”
Pop
Quick as lightning, the smooth form slithered onto Aziraphale’s chest, tickling his chest hairs while turning his head from pastry box to angel and back expectantly.
Aziraphale chuckled, “Hedonist,” he teased.
The snake flicked his tongue, unrepentantly.
The angel brought the last macaron to his mouth. Sighed as he inhaled the sweet raspberry scent while rose flavored meringue shattered across his tongue, Aziraphale hummed and purred as he savored the treat and let his fingers trail over the sinuous form. The little snake, bounced by the seismic rumbles, leaned into the gentle caresses until he twined all around Aziraphale's fingers.
Holding the languid serpent up to his face, where Crowley flicked his tongue within a hair's breath of the angel's lips, Aziraphale said, “You're quite welcome to sleep on my chest again, I've got another book handy and it's still raining.” Crowley darted down Aziraphale's arm to curl up on his chest.
“If you enjoyed me eating that much, dear, how do you like me reading?” Aziraphale proposed, opening the first page of a slim book and beginning to read aloud while the rain still pelted the roof and windows.
This was the best place Crowley could imagine, curled warm and content over his angel's heart.
Notes:
Thanks for reading! Your kudos and comments make my day.
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