#crowley needs to be protected

[microclown]

Crowley and Aziraphale's communication in the final 15 is bad, but going back through the season I've realized it's even more prevalent than I thought…

not all of these miscommunications are a problem, but they barely have one interaction that doesn't include some form of lack of communication, so I thought it was worth highlighting the pattern

List under the cut, analysis at the end

Aziraphale doesn't tell Crowley about the naked man, Nina does

Aziraphale doesn't tell him it's Gabriel, he tell him it's Jim, Crowley sees it's Gabriel

"I feel like your exactly and my exactly are different exactlys" (aka miscommunication- assuming they're on the same page when they're not)

Cowley doesn't tell Aziraphale the stakes, that he could be erased from the book of life for helping Gabriel

The Apology dance is literally dancing around the issue. He doesn't want to apologize because he doesn't believe he is in the wrong, but they never talk through it, they just move forward

"Ah, we're going to the pub!" As they're walking in the door. so Aziraphale didn't tell him where they were going, he just lead him there??

Aziraphale and Crowley don't agree on how to get Nina and Maggie together, but they go ahead and execute their own plans without discussing it further. Crowley does ask "I'm lost, am I doing a rainstorm?" but Aziraphale has already moved on and doesn't answer him. He's already decided the ball is the better option, but he doesn't communicate that. Later, Crowley tries to tell Aziraphale about his plan with the rainstorm, but Aziraphale ignores him. "You don't want to hear about my plan?" Then when Crowley tells him the rainstorm plan was a bust, Aziraphale has no idea what he's talking about.

After telling Crowley about the Clue, Aziraphle doesn't let them discuss it at all. He literally cuts Crowley off from asking any questions about it "no! not another word."

When Aziraphale asks to take the Bentley, he doesn't really ask, he's telling Crowley he's going to take it. Crowley says no indirectly "You can't drive my Bentley." Aziraphale explains that he can drive because he has a license. So Crowley says "No" plainly. Aziraphale ignores him. Crowley says "No" again, louder, clearer, slaps Aziraphale's hand away, but Aziraphale still ignores him.

When Aziraphale tells Crowley what he learned about Gabriel in Edinburgh, they never discuss it fully because Crowley cuts him off to execute his rainstorm that they've also never fully discussed.

Neither Aziraphale or Crowley tell the other that Shax confronted them. More importantly, Aziraphale doesn't tell Crowley that Shax tricked him into revealing that Gabriel is in the bookshop.

Aziraphale is very coy with Crowley while planning the ball "wait and see!" He never actually tells Crowley his plan.

When Aziraphale suggests "just talking" to Gabriel, he looks pleased when Crowley says "Actually, I will." He doesn't seems to read Crowley's tone. Crowley then proceeded to yell at Gabriel and tells him to jump out a window. Probably not what Aziraphale had in mind.

Of course, the whole scene in the ball. Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale about the demons straight away, he leads with a seemingly less urgent "somethings wrong". Aziraphale is barely listening anyway. He's too in his own world, too caught up in psyching himself up to ask Crowley to dance.

After the demons storm the ball, Aziraphale tells Crowley he's got a suggestion, but Crowley cuts him off "I've got it."

Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale what he learned in Heaven. He doesn't tell him about Armageddon part 2, or that Gabriel was fired for not wanting to go ahead with it. He doesn't even tell him this during their big fight at the end, when you would think it would be a convincing point towards Aziraphel staying.

Neil has revealed that Crowley never told Aziraphale that he was living in his car

And then their final argument is laden with miscommunication, (people have gone into great depths analyzing this already, but I’ll just sum it up so it’s included) - Aziraphale assumes Crowley would want to be an angel again, but they’ve clearly never discussed this. Crowley assumes Aziraphale is on the same page with why heaven is so bad, but they’ve clearly not fully discussed this either.  Crowley can barely look at Aziraphale when he’s confessing. He can’t get out the word “partner.” He can’t finish his sentence “I would like to spend…” Then there’s “nothing lasts forever” which Crowley interprets entirely differently from Aziraphale’s intention. “I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you” “I understand, and I think I understand a whole lot better than you.” And then, when Crowley has given up on trying to communicate verbally, he kisses Aziraphale as a last “Hail Mary” to get him to understand. But of course he doesn’t. That’s not communication. 

So.

If you’re still with me, what’s the point of laying all this out? Well, a couple of things. I’ll try to organize my thoughts coherently. 

 _

Crowley and Aziraphale’s communication is beyond a simple fix

It is so much worse than I originally thought. What they need is couples therapy. They both need to become aware of the broken way they relate to each other, and they need to do a lot of work on listening to each other, giving each other space to talk, and being honest with what they know and how they are feeling. We needed someone to call them out, make them aware of this, but Nina and Maggie TRIED this season, and it was not enough. Unfortunately, I’m fairly confident season 3 will not just be six hour long couples therapy sessions. I’m not sure how much room for working on communication skills there will be at all. Neil has described season three as big, loud, and action packed. I have no idea how this issue will be resolved in that context. 

_

Something horrible I realized when making this list. Crowley’s relationship with Aziraphale is beginning to mirror his toxic relationship with heaven. Aziraphale develops a plan- taking care of Gabriel, investigating the clue, organizing the ball. He wants things to go just the way he has in mind. He does not let Crowley say no. He does not let Crowley ask questions!!! And now Aziraphale is running heaven? What makes us think he would treat Crowley any differently in a real position of power? It would have been so. bad. if Crowley accepted Aziraphale’s offer. Yes, Aziraphale and Crowley are on the same page on preserving the world and humanity, and yes they love each other and want to be with each other, but when it comes to what to do about it, they don’t see eye to eye. And neither of them know how to properly collaborate or communicate. 

_

Finally, why do Aziraphale and Crowleyhide things from one another? Simply, they don’t really trust each other. I mean they do, sort of, but not entirely. They have a deeper trust. They trust that the other cares about them, and won't harm them intentionally, but they have so many deep rooted issues with trust from their past with heaven and hell that it overflows into their relationship. People have said Crowley keeps information from Aziraphale to protect him, but that also comes from a place of mistrust. He doesn’t trust Aziraphale to protect himself. He doesn’t trust him to do what he would do with that information. Similarly, Aziraphale doesn’t trust Crowley to let him do things his way. They don’t know how to collaborate! Not really. It's something they want, but were never taught. Collaboration was never encouraged in Heaven or hell.

[local-apollo-kid]

Remember how Crowley pretended to be Aziraphale at the end of Season 1? Remember how Gabriel told 'Aziraphale' to "Shut your stupid mouth and die already!"?

Well, this was Crowley's reaction:

YOU CAN TELL HE WAS NOT PLEASE BY GABRIEL TELLING HIS BEST FRIEND TO GO AND DIE BUT HE COULDNT EXPRESS IT AT THE TIME

And so when Crowley and Gabriel talk in Season 2 and Crowley says:

That this man is so pissed and Gabriel from telling Azi (read: Crowley's one true love) to die and is very much enjoying getting to yell about it

[ineffectualbookseller]

But if Aziraphale is memory wiped in s3 I think "you know what it's like when you don't know anything at all and yet you're totally certain that everything would be better if you were just near one particular person" is going to be so relevant... memory wiped!Aziraphale protecting Crowley despite not knowing who he is would mean the world to me

Their love is so deeply engrained into who he is that it's not a part of him that anyone can take away

[waitingtobebroken]

As promised, the final instalment of the Kidnapping A Supreme Archangel For Fun And Profit series (where Duke of Hell Crowley keeps kidnapping Supreme Archangel Aziraphale so he can torture him with horrible, terrible things) will be here on Saturday!

Get ready for double the kidnappings, double the silliness and double the fluff, now that Kric and Agiel are finally talking... and discovering things about their bosses that they both didn't necessarily want to know!

A little teaser under the cut, since I realise I have made you wait quite some time for this 🤭

"Did they harm you?" the Duke of Hell growled, his teeth, human, inoffensive, flashing more threateningly than Agiel had ever seen them. "Did they dare touch you? I swear to Someone, angel, if they grazed even a curl on your head, I will bring them back to life just to kill them all over again."

His Holiness shifted. Horrified, Agiel assumed he had flinched, trying to get away from those poison-bright words dripping out of the demon's snarling maw. Before they were able to place exactly where they had seen His Divinity move like this.

Every time Agiel brought him a treat from Earth. Whenever the angel complimented his tie, or his hair, speaking their mind in a way they had always tried not to, but were quickly realising His Highness enjoyed immensely...

The Supreme Archangel had wiggled. Happily. Over threats spilling out of a demon's mouth.

Agiel had to sink their teeth into their lips to stop themself from gasping.

"Darling-" His Divinity tried again. The words quickly turning into another puff of air, as his head was tipped back. A thumb ghosting over his lips and- Agiel's head swivelled to the side, just in time to see the demon, still a polite distance away, pointedly turn away too.

Their gazes met. It was hard to tell that it had happened, when one of them didn't even have the eyes necessary for it. And yet, Agiel had felt it, that same buzzing in their very bones, as the demon sensed them at the same moment Agiel was looking at them.

"Ssslowly," the Duke of Hell hissed. "Rip them to pieces. Make them hurt."

[iantoharkness-jones]

When Aziraphale says "hello":

(Translation: Hello!)

...

When Crowley says "hello":

(Translation: Who the Hell are you, why are you sitting in my chair and what do you want from my Angel?! Oh, and by the way, I don't like you. You're stressing him out AND ruining our nice moment so toodles!)

[et-is-an-alien]

Just finished episode three, Aziraphale and Crowley are 100% gay for each other

[lesbianballofgender]

Manifesting Crowley initiating physical touch in season 3

Crowley just sauntering over to Azi while he’s deep in convo with someone like normal only now he gently grabs a hold of his hand. A natural touch that doesn’t cause Azira to stop his chattering, an unspoken closeness between them. After all they ‘like holding hands’.

[freebagels]

Do you ever think about how Aziraphale got punched in the solar plexus, hit over the head with a crowbar (so hard it would kill a regular human), and literally discorporated (a.k.a. fucking DIED the human way) all in one season?

Cause I do.

[ineffableteeth]

I love how protective Crowley is of Aziraphale, like that man would die for him and kill for him

They are so in love with eachother lol

[beastsovrevelation]

Michael's so stern, and laconic, she's honestly just... Cold. But, I think she'd be so gallant towards a female love interest.

Damn... Imagine her kissing your hand (and refusing to break eye contact as she does it).

One could swoon. I'd say she definitely goes on one knee to propose.

Her Spartan demeanor does soften in her love interest's presence. A fond smile lights up her lips, and her piercing eyes shine with adoration. She mindlessly does things like brushing a lock of her so's hair behind her ear, putting her arm around her, or having her sit on her lap.

I also think (since she's the Champion) she has a pathological need to protect. Honestly, it might cause tension as she gets patronizing, even controlling. She's used to being obeyed without question, after all.

[mortuarybees]

I actually don't hate aziraphale going back to heaven. I think heaven is trying to co-opt his resistance to it to cut it off at its knees just as the state co-opts the language of resistance to it to control it. I think we'll see a lot of "praise be to God for sending us Aziraphale to show us the previous leadership was going afoul of Her plan! Good thing everything is okay now and no one needs to look deeper at any systemic issues here because now we've got Aziraphale at the reigns!" next season, just as we see companies fire problematic ceos and hire their own critics to Change Things.

But I think fundamentally heaven is both a day job and a cult he was born into for aziraphale. He doesn't sincerely believe in it, tho he has internalized some of its rhetoric, but he has to pretend to for his own safety, and his own safety and comfort is paramount to aziraphale. He likes having a nice work/life balance that keeps him safe and secure but also happy and comfortable. Ultimately, armageddon forces him to confront the tension between what he really feels and what heaven has told him to believe in, and hes willing to sacrifice his own safety and possibly his life to do what he thinks is right. He's willing to do that both because it's what he believes in, and because if armageddon succeeds, his comfortable position will be taken from him anyway. he suddenly has nothing to lose by resisting heaven.

I think the mistake in season 2 was not making the stakes feel higher, and not putting enough pressure on crowley and aziraphale. The Book of Life threat is mentioned, but it doesn't feel like it has weight, and the moment it should feel most significant--when Michael brings it up--it feels like an empty threat, and it's immediately dismissed by the Metatron. Heaven and hell also don't feel like real threats. they kinda just show up and idle around, and the demon siege at the end also feels pretty empty. Aziraphale and Crowley also dont even really seem that worried throughout the season.

I think aziraphale would go back to heaven, and ask Crowley to come with him, if he was made to feel really afraid that heaven and hell might never really leave them alone, that they will never be free, that there are still tools they could and will use against them, and accepting this offer by the metatron is the best way to keep them safe. but they needed to establish that feeling and that pressure throughout the season, and the ultimate conversation should've gone a little differently. I don't think aziraphale would ever ask Crowley to come back to heaven unless he's begging him to do it for his own safety

[seapiglet]

The only way I would've accepted seeing pre-fall Crowley and Aziraphale together is if they were like in the Heaven cafeteria, Crowley complaining to a celestial dinnerlady that the lunch options all look bad ("the food hadn't been that good lately"), while Aziraphale walks by in the other direction, needlessly worrying about something. Neither notices the other. They were this close and yet!

Perhaps Aziraphale and another angel are even discussing some rumour about angels starting to ask questions of The Almighty and expresses concern.

Keep in the "how much trouble can I get into for asking a few questions?" or whatever from Crowley but have it be with the disgruntled dinnerlady or one of Lucifer's crew he was presumably hanging out with. Show one of these soon-to-be-cast-out angels casually mentioning to him that they're thinking of bringing up a few of their concerns to "the boss" and would he be interested? It's worth a shot after all. What harm could it to?

Just anything to make it less fucking needlessly dramatic and serious.

[grntaire]

thinking about how you can see aziraphale kissing him back i need to be sedated

[artemis-pendragon]

The fact that Crowley and Aziraphale can disguise themselves as each other has so much potential for horribly tragic Achilles and Patroclus parallels. Like sorry guys but I'm right

[just-a-little-unionoid]

I see y'all "Aziraphale gently takes off Crowley's sunglasses" and I raise you "Aziraphale asks Crowley if he can take off his glasses himself"

[ancientbread]

Aziraphale girlies who are in the absolute trenches fighting for his life rn I love you